#whenever someone sends me a voice message i internally scream because i need to focus so hard to listen to them

[kachulein]

Kachuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Hi 😊. Anyways, I need advice. How do you approach writing notes in lectures? I have a hard time listening to what's being said and writing down what's on screen. Should I just listen and then look at the slides after? That honestly seems like my best option here 🤔. Yeah, any input you have would be useful haha

Ahhh hii Adellum🥺👉🏻👈🏻 I honestly would love to help you but when it comes to lectures (or class tbh, I've always been this way), I tend to end up with a more or less empty sheet of paper in front of me (except for drawings on it-). I genuinely don't know how people attend/deal with in-person classes properly because as soon as the professor starts talking my brain is out the window. I don't know if there's something wrong with me but I've never been able to pay attention in class, no matter how hard I try, it doesn't work, so I sadly don't really have any tips- 😖

But I'd say, if you got time to look at the slides/take notes afterwards, I'd say maybe yes, try listening to what's being said first and then focus on the slides. I'm sorry, I don't really have any advice on this, I usually can't even remember what a class was about😭 but I hope it will work fine for you if you try it that way!!🥺

[softomi]

now accepting boyfriend applications: literature

synopsis: phone dead, laptop gone, guess it’s an old fashioned having to sit down and talk to the boys who apparently are interested in the position of being your boyfriend. first; you just have to make it to your literature class. 

series: now accepting boyfriend applications

previous: now accepting boyfriend applications

next up: intro to business 

series taglist: @kyomihann @chesley-cant-deal @bluearmufs @your-consulting-fangirl @itsmeaudrieee @winunk @aegiseterna @katelyns-stuff @mochipk @3rachachoo @kyuudere

*bold means I wasn’t able to tag you*

general taglist: @graykageyama @tsumue @thesorebae @micasaessakusa @alouphen @waitforitillwritemywayout

Your phone was still charging, it’s in your bag plugged into a power bank and you’re hoping it’ll charge enough soon. You’ve made it to campus with five minutes to spare, you can already see Akaashi through the windows of the class. He’s absolutely cute and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about what it would be like to date him, but you were so blissfully in love with your ex that you never took the chance to fully indulge yourself to fantasize.

And while he’s in class looking like he just walked right out of a manga in a university setting; you look exactly as it would sound like, as if you just woke up and ran to campus. Your hair is a mess, you tried running through campus attempting to put it up in a bun, it’s lopsided and you’re using the hood of your sweatshirt to try and cover up the mess of a mop it is. It doesn’t help that the only reason you’re wearing a sweatshirt is because you didn’t have time to put on a bra so yeah, you’re walking around campus with no bra on and the ugly sweatpants with wine stains on it doesn’t do you justice either. You’re even decked out with a pair of sandals.

Honestly, how were you going to walk into class, look at Akaashi in the face, and just act as if he didn’t send you a boyfriend application. When he sees you, he’ll definitely retract his resume.

There’s two minutes left and you’re awkwardly poking your head in. No one is giving you the time of day but it feels like all eyes are on you when you step in. Perhaps you shouldn’t be too ashamed of your looks as you’re nearing the end of the semester and most girls have switched out their cute skirts for tracksuit pants.

You’re slowly going towards your seat, Akaashi diligently writing in his notebook and he finally looks up. Through his glasses, he meets your gaze, his lips slowly part and he’s blinking as if wondering if you were really you. As you pull into your seat, he stares down at his notebook, he’s stopped writing and everything in you is just screaming at you to not scream out loud because there was no going back on this weird friendship type relationship that you two have developed.

Akaashi shuffles in his seat, his body is turned to face you and he’s so close to opening his mouth when the teacher’s voice makes his thoughts stop. He turns back to face the front, no words exchanged as you pull out your notebook, pencil, and charging cell phone that’s just reached fifteen percent. For the first time since the beginning of the semester, you’re going to take notes and listen intently to this hour and fifteen-minute long lecture.

Only ten minutes have passed and your professor has done nothing but decided to review on what the difference between a primary article and a secondary article is because some people just don’t understand why Wikipedia is not an official source. You peek a look over at Akaashi. He, too, seems incredibly bored but his hardworking nature has him at least trying to focus on the professor despite the pen in his hand drawing circles on his notepad.

When he looks over at you, a small smile on his lips, you’re quick to turn away with a blush on your cheeks.

At thirty minutes, your phone is dancing on the edge of thirty percent. It’s enough to get you to start looking through your phone and you find yourself once again clicking on Akaashi’s email. You lean your arm onto the desk, tilting your body just enough that you think he wouldn’t be able to see that you’re looking at his boyfriend application.

You’re skipping passed official details, instead ceasing the scrolling when you reach his skillset. It’s all very professional sounding despite him referring to relationship and dating. It makes you crack a smile, you want to laugh out loud and not because it’s funny but because it’s actually really cute.

One of my skillsets is my height, considering your shorter height, I will be able to provide assistance whenever needed. While I may once in a while enjoy your smaller stature, I will try not to bring it up repeatedly to spare you of your feelings.

You bite down on your lower lip, suppressing the immense grin that wants to grow on your face. Through the strands of your hair, you peek another glance at him. This time he’s removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes slowly, a small yawn falling through his lips.

My biggest weakness is my busy schedule. I spend most of my days working part-time at the campus library and studying. As a literature major, I have multiple readings, essays, and assignments which may hinder my time to have a steady relationship but I believe that this weakness will later play a role as a strength in how devoted I am to what I love.

Well, that just made your heart skip ten beats.

My future goals include working as an editor, but right now my shorter-term goal would be to graduate with my literature degree on time. Another short-term goal I had developed over the semester was to ask you out on a date.

Your stomach spirals, you’re internally groaning at how cute this actually was.

“There’s twenty minutes left of class, during this time I’d like you to discuss with your revision partner about your last draft.”

Shit. You’re screaming in your head because this was not happening. Now you had to talk to Akaashi. The voices of students have now taken over the classroom, when you turn to look at Akaashi, a meek smile on you as he’s staring with his head tilted.

“Are you alright?” He’s asking so nicely, his voice soft and genuine. It feels like forever since someone has been so sweet to you.

Your hand reaches to scratch the back of your neck, a weak curve on your lips, “It’s been a pretty hectic twenty-four hours.”

Akaashi leans on his desk, cheek pressed against his palm and he’s asking, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Your lips fall into a small pout because he’s just so sincere. He’s always been. Maybe that was why you had just the teeniest of crush on him earlier in the semester because he remembered the small details. When he noticed you switched from coffee to tea, you ranted to him for five minutes about how your boyfriend was adamant on you changing your lifestyle by switching to healthier options. The next class time you had together, Akaashi brought you coffee because as long as your boyfriend didn’t know then it was alright.

“Are you sure you want to listen to me?” You quirk a brow at him, “Because I’ll talk for the rest of the time.”

Akaashi sits up straight, flipping his notebook, pen ready in hand, “I must have forgotten to list listening as one of my strengths.” Your face burns all of a sudden, he has the smallest smirk on his face when he turns back to you, “I’ll take notes, tell me what’s wrong.”

You’re not used to someone listening to you, you’re used to someone interrupting you. It felt awkward at first, just letting everything roll off your tongue, and your eyes keep darting to the way his pen moves against his notebook. Was he actually taking notes of your rant? When you finish, he’s smiling, there’s a warmth to his grin that has you internally groaning.

“What did you write down?” You’re leaning over now, trying to get a good look at his notebook and you don’t even notice that the embarrassment in you has lifted. You’re no longer plagued with awkwardness like you were an hour ago.

Akaashi tilts his notebook for you to clearly see his handwriting. A wide smile taking over your expression. She’s cute when she’s talking. He was indeed more straightforward than you had imagined, you pictured him as shy and cute, while he was definitely the latter, he came off boldly.

“If I have to be honest.” He states suddenly, “My friend threw together that application and then sent it to you and then messaged you.” Your expression falters but he’s adverting his eyes just slightly, “I was too shy to try and message to ask if you were alright and well, my friend tends to get a little out of hand.” He’s grinning once more, rubbing the back of his neck, “I guess it sort of worked out in the end.”

The professor’s voice draws your attention, “Once you’re done discussing with your partner, you’re free to leave.”

You look at the time, sparing a glance to Akaashi, “I’m sorry, I have to get to my next class.” You’re shoving your stuff into your backpack and he also quickly packs up.

“I’ll walk you.” He’s so eager that he almost knocks over his coffee cup, “I mean if it’s alright with you?”

“Sure, my next class is.”

Akaashi interjects, “Intro to Business, across campus.”

You’re surprised he remembers, a little impressed that it feels like he’s leading the way to your next class. For a moment it’s silent, you can tell he’s a little nervous but heck you’re also very nervous.

“You said two other guys sent you an application?”

Slowly you nod, “I mean one’s definitely a no, he’s just so cocky, definitely not my type. The other?” You think for a moment, “He’s really nice, funny, and we’ve kind of built up a friendship over the semester.” You notice how silent Akaashi has suddenly fallen.

“So.” Akaashi is quiet, “Then you would say that I’m up against him?” The two of you have stopped in front of your class, Akaashi staring down at you; the look in his eyes suddenly changes. He was getting competitive, “I’ll make sure to win you over.”

Your cheeks dust with a blush. He’s suddenly digging in his bag; he pulls out a baseball style cap. His hand tugging back your hood, undoing your sloppy bun to let your hair fall down. Your heart races at the way he sneaks in a stroke through your hair before fitting the cap onto your head. It’s loosely hanging until he leans into you, he smells of a deep forest and you’re tempted to just wrap your fingers on his t-shirt and pull him in a little bit more.

“You’ll probably be more comfortable with a hat than a hood.” He pulls away once he’s fixed the strap but his scent lingers momentarily, “You should get to class.” He states sweetly, taking in the cute way you’re trying to hide your face with his hat.

“I’ll message you.” You say as you slowly hang around the doorway to your class, “To return the hat.” And possibly more. You think.

The moment you turn away, a blushing grin on you with your heart beating rapidly; everything stops when you come face to face with Kuroo Tetsuro. He’s got a cheeky look on him, slightly eyeing the man still lingering outside of the classroom. The two men meet gazes and there’s a sharp sting between the two; an acknowledgement of an opponent.

[redeadepression]

Please Stay | John Marston Fic

~~

I’ve decided to make this a small series. John’s inner monologue of all his failures (set in my Modern AU) and interactions with his friends and family/their reactions to his situation.

Jumbled timeline because I write what I feel like lately. But this is the sequel of Don’t Go and Just Ask.

Not sure if anyone is actually reading them but I am enjoying the journey regardless. 

~~

Trigger warning: implied/referenced attempted suicide, depression, anxiety, mental health issues, psychiatric hospitals

Characters: John Marston, Karmen Davis/Karmen Cassady (My OC) Setting: My Modern AU Words: 3582 Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship fluff Summery: John finally having access to his mobile phone brings him some much needed comfort but also extra pain.

~~

PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS!

John wasn’t sure he’d slept at all the night before. His eyes were dry and aching and his nose was red raw from wiping it. The muscles in his neck were sore from trying to keep himself quiet and his breath had been hitching involuntarily since the early hours.

He’d thought the first few days had been rough. But they were nothing compared to what he’d experienced after Arthur had left him.

He’d felt lonely plenty of times in his life. But he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt quite so alone as he had watching Arthur’s back retreat down the hallway.

He’d wanted to scream for him to come back. Cry and beg for him to stay by his side despite years of internalized fear of looking weak in front of the other man.

He’d hated himself for it.

Needing someone.

He had a mandatory physic session after visiting hours had ended and as usual, he had refused to speak at all.

His psychologist was a very patient man. Generally, they would sit in a comfortable silence. Every now and then he would ask a question or make a statement and when John didn’t respond he would scribble something in his note pad.

John wondering what the man could possibly gleam from his silence. But he’d never ask. The scratching of the pen on paper made his skin crawl.

The other man reading him like an open book without him ever having to speak. Seeing into his psyche intimately and writing down his findings to be placed in his file alongside mundane information such as his blood type.

John wasn’t sure what vibe he had given off that prompted the doctor to ask if there was something he could do to make his stay more comfortable.

He had scoffed in reply. Asking if the doctors there had always been in the habit of bribing their patients or if he was just special.

The other man had laughed heartily at the retort before replying that their focus at the hospital was to help their patients get better and go home. He simply wanted to know what it was that would make John feel comfortable enough to talk to him.

John had answered immediately that he wanted his phone.

He hadn’t been able to tell anyone where he’d gone.

Hadn’t left a note.

The Doctor had reminded him calmly that patients weren’t permitted to have their cells and if John wanted to contact a friend or relative he could do so through the landlines they had set up where patients could be monitored during their calls.

John had rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to talk on the phone. He hated phone calls with a passion.

He wanted to text.

He didn’t want to hear the emotion in his friend’s voices as he explained what had happened or more accurately, he was terrified of not hearing any emotion at all.

Realising that they didn’t care.

John’s doctor had been silent for a long while. Tapping the end of his pen against his lips as he stared at the large painting above John’s head and lost himself in thought.

“I might be able to get you some time with your phone. If you participate in today’s session.” He’d said finally, again causing John to scoff.

“So a bribe?” He’d asked again, making the other man smile.

“A reward.” He had replied simply.

 ~

 The doctor hadn’t probed too much. Keeping things light and making sure John felt safe as they finally got to know one another.

He’d seemed happy with the results and kept up his end of the bargain. Allowing John to use his phone for a few minutes under the watchful eye of one of the other staff members.

John had held his breath as he’d watched the apple symbol fade away and his lock screen had come into view. He stared at baby Jack as he waited, unconsciously clenching his jaw as he waited to see if anyone had missed him.

He’d let out the breath he’d been holding as the phone began to vibrate. Days of texts and missed calls coming through all at once.

Karmen

Arthur

Karmen

Karmen

Mary-Beth

Karmen

Arthur

He’d mumbled the names as they’d popped up on the screen, feeling a sense of relief but also a great sadness.

“Abigail.” He’d whispered, clicking on the text immediately and ignoring the others. It wasn’t a message from her, but an automated notification to let him know she had called. He started at it, swallowing hard as he read the words:

No voicemail was message left.

He sighed shakily, his heart feeling heavy. He wasn’t sure what he had expected. She knew where he was and more pertinently, she had no reason to miss him.

He swallowed audibly, wiping at his misty eyes as he clicked away and in to Karmen’s messages instead.

23 Missed called. 14 texts.

He felt his heart flutter and for a small moment he felt happy. Every missed call had a voicemail attached and every message asked him where he was.

If he was okay.

His eyes watered as he scrolled through them. He didn’t have time to listen to the voicemails. But the texts were enough to make his heart ache. The desperation he sensed in her messages was palpable.

Guilt bubbled in his chest as he realised he had made her fret.

-

Are you home?

-

Please answer me, I’m worried.

-

Are you okay?

-

John please let me know you’re alright!

-

You’re scaring me :(

-

Please John answer me if you’re okay. xxx

-

Days’ worth of texts begging him to respond. His lips trembled, eyes spilling over as he reached the end of the thread.

His thumbs moved unconsciously across the keys as he replied without thinking.

-

I’m okay

-

He said simply. Staring at the message for a moment before three dots appeared and he knew she was typing back. Surprised by how quick she’d been. Had she really been waiting for him to respond this entire time?

-

Thank God

-

She replied. The three dots appearing again almost instantly as she continued to type.

-

I just spoke to Arthur

-

She replied again, making John’s breath hitch. There was a moment where nothing happened on the screen and John had to look away. Putting his phone down on the table in front of him and rubbing at his eyes. Unable to get rid of the persistent wetness.

His phone vibrated again, and he looked down at the message with blurry eyes.

-

Do you want visitors?

-

The text asked simply, making him choke on a sob as he snatched the cell and replied a quickly.

-

Yes.

-

I’ll be there as soon as I can.

-

She replied, the three dots ever looming.

John typed rapidly, his eyes darting between his phone and the nurse in the corner of the room. He could feel her watching him intently and knew he didn’t have much longer before she took his cell again.

Especially if he couldn’t control his emotions.

-

They’re going to take my phone again

-

John typed urgently, shaky thumb pressing send and causing her dots to disappear for a second before reappearing just as fast.

-

Stay strong honey xx

-

Karmen replied.

John stared at it, heart somehow feeling lighter and heavier at the same time.

The nurse began to walk towards him and he held his phone closer, protectively as he switched back in to Abigail’s messages.

-

Please come and visit

-

He typed hurriedly, feeling sick at the thought of begging. Only just managing to hit send as the nurse held out her hand and told him his time was up.

He handed it over reluctantly. Watching as she turned it off and gestured for him to stand so she could walk him back to his room.

 ~

 John hadn’t slept again or at least he didn’t think he did. He hadn’t been this tired since Jack was a newborn and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes.

He’d spent the night staring at the ceiling and overanalysing everything that was said in his last text exchange.

He supposed that’s why they weren’t allowed to have their phones. It was so easy to misinterpret a line of text as opposed to a line that came from the lips. Although John thought, if anyone could still misinterpret a line from the lips it was probably him.

A knock on the doorframe caught his attention and he looked over to find Karmen standing there with a sympathetic smile. She entered without being beckoned as he rushed to sit up and greet her.

“You came.” He said softly when he found his voice, earning himself a frown.

“Of course, I did.” She said incredulously, placing her handbag down on the nightstand and moving to sit in the same chair Arthur had occupied the day before. “Did you not want me to?” She asked, her tone light but her words holding weight.

John had been vulnerable in front of her many times before. But whenever he showed his emotions, he seemed to always have one foot out the door. Readying himself to run away from his problems or just shut down completely at any moment. She knew he had trouble with his own weaknesses, especially in front of an audience and if he wanted her to leave, she would.

He’d gotten better at expressing himself over the years. But he’d never quite gotten the hang of truly letting someone else share his burden. There was always something he was keeping to himself and often it weighed him down significantly.

She desperately wished he would share his whole self with her so she could help ease his pain. But despite her hopes she had come to terms with the way he handled himself long ago. Long before Abigail existed in their lives.

She couldn’t believe now in the current state of things that she had once dared to hope he might share his whole self with Abigail.

The rotten bitch didn’t deserve to know what was weighing him down so heavily.

Perhaps he did share with her though.

She thought to herself as she looked to him with compassion. Maybe sharing his burden with her and being rejected had been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Something had snapped between the time he had left her house and when he ended up here.

She didn’t intend to ask him what had happened.

He would tell her when he was ready. He always did.

“Abigail didn’t come.” John said simply after a moment of silence. Ignoring her question but effectively explaining his confusion. Karmen looked at him sympathetically, trying hard to convey that she felt sad for him but she did not pity him.

“Are you surprised?” She asked softly, a genuine question not meant to be sarcastic or mean. John shook his head slowly, biting at the inside of his bottom lip to try and stop it from trembling.

He looked away from his friend, taking in a deep breath and trying his best to ignore the burning behind his eyes.

He jumped slightly as she stood, and he felt her hand slide on top of his. He looked down to their joined hands, turning his to take hers fully and squeezing tightly. Staring at it for a long minute before using it to pull her closer and wrapping his arms around her.

Karmen sat on the edge of the bed to keep her balance. Her free arm coming to wrap around his back and pull him close. He pressed his face into her shoulder, tears wetting the fabric of her shirt as he took a moment to let himself cry.

She shushed him lightly, squeezing his hand back hard and rubbing her thumb along what she could reach of his palm. Her other hand running small circles over his back as she held him firmly to her, doing her best to make him feel secure.

“Is she home?” John asked hoarsely, voice muffled against her collarbone. He heard Karmen swallow and knew he’d already gotten his answer.

She hesitated, unsure if the truth was best in this situation.

“Yes. She’s been home.” She answered eventually, voice soft as if whispering would make it hurt less. John didn’t respond, unsure he would be able to if he tried. His heart thundered in his chest and his body ached all over. His face felt hot and his teeth threatened to crack with how hard he was clenching his jaw. “I’m sorry.” Karmen whispered, her hand coming up to run through his hair.

John had always relished the physical comfort she gave him. She was the first person he ever remembered hugging him at the tender age of eight. He wasn’t sure if his Father had ever hugged him but if he had, he was too young to remember it.

Karmen had been a constant source of comfort throughout his life whether she knew it or not. Being around her made him feel inexplicably safe despite knowing she wasn’t capable of physically protecting him. He towered over her in stature and he had been known to knock out other men as big as Arthur, whereas he wasn’t sure Karmen had ever been involved in a physical altercation in her entire life.

Karmen stroked her fingers through his hair absently and wondered what he was thinking about. He hadn’t responded about Abigail. She doubted he was thinking positive thoughts.

“You scared me.” She said softly after a long moment of silence. John jolted slightly when she spoke, being thrown back roughly into reality.

“I’m sorry.” He said croakily, squeezing her tighter.

“I’ve been texting and calling all week.” She murmured, anger on the edge of her tone but not quite shining through.

John felt himself shiver against her as a new wave of guilt rushed through his chest. Sucking the air from his lungs as he desperately tried to take in another breath. Lungs hitching and failing as Karmen ran a calming hand down his spine and shushed him again lightly.

“Why didn’t…” He tried, finding his voice again through the lump in his throat.  “You come earlier?” He finished, choking on his own words as he felt her sigh in his arms.

She was silent for too long.

John convincing himself without her needing to speak that she simply didn’t want to. He was a chore that she’d put off as long as humanely possible. Arriving just in time to throw him a bone and keep him alive.

“I didn’t know where you were.” Karmen finally answered, making John frown at the flatness of her tone.

He had seen her texts and knew she was asking for him.

She lived across the damn road from him for God’s sakes. If she wanted to know where he was how hard was it to walk across the street and ask.

“Didn’t you ask Abigail?” He questioned, pulling away from the hug and looking to her with furrowed brows.

She stared back, sad eyes filled with something he could not discern, looking him over as she contemplated her answer.

Of course, she had asked.

“I didn’t think of it.” She lied, placing a hand on his cheek and wiping at the new tears forming with a gentle thumb.

John swallowed thickly, her answer out of character with everything he knew about her. She was relentless when she wanted answers. Ruthless when it came to things like social media stalking. She could spend twenty minutes on someone’s Facebook and tell you what their Mother had eaten for lunch the day they were born.

But she hadn’t thought to ask his wife where he was when he had stopped responding to her texts…

He didn’t buy it.

“Arthur called me yesterday. I came as soon as I could.” She added, looking into his eyes and spying a sadness so deep she was afraid it would swallow him.

It almost had.

She realised, gritting her teeth and blinking against her own tears.

“She didn’t tell you where I was?” John asked after a long moment, voice small. “What I’d-” He stopped himself, unable to finish the sentence.

Karmen stared at him, biting at her bottom lip as she watched his face crumple.

“She just said you weren’t home.” She explained with a sigh. “I don’t know why she told Arthur the truth.” She whispered earnestly, pulling him back to her and guiding his head to her shoulder with one hand.

He rested against her easily. Craving her touch in the most platonic sense.

“I do.” He answered plainly, the pain in his voice evident as he took in a shaky breath.

“She scared of him like everyone else?” Karmen asked with a chuckle. Surprised when John sniffed out a small laugh.

“No.” He answered. “The opposite.”

“He’s scared of her?” Karmen asked, her voice scandalous, making John smile. She knew what he meant. Abigail’s suspected crush on Arthur had been brought up a few times between their small group of friends. She’d never broached it with John, but she suspected he knew.

He didn’t have to say it if it was too distressing. She decided instead to move on from the topic of Arthur. He’d already guesses she had spoken with Abigail. No point now in omitting the specifics. “Abigail…” She began, feeling him tense at the named. “She was acting real’ weird when I saw her.” She said softly. “Not gonna’ lie I was kinda worried she’d murdered you.” She added with a chuckle. “Glad she didn’t though.”

John pulled away from her again, a small smile on his face as he moved away completely and rolled his eyes. He sat back against the head of his bed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Wouldn’t put it passed her to be honest.” He lamented. “Seems to want me gone bad enough.”

Karmen nodded, clicking her tongue for lack of anything to say. She knew Abigail had purposefully deceived her. But enforcing that with John was not what he needed from her in that moment. He didn’t need her to force him into feeling disdain for his wife while he was so vulnerable.

If he wanted to leave her, he needed to make that decision on his own. Not under her influence. He wouldn’t have him feeling resentful of her or her involvement in their divorce in future.

“I don’t think she’ll come.” John said softly, breaking the long silence as Karmen looked to him sympathetically. “If she doesn’t…” He began, sitting forward and wringing his hands together in his lap. “Could you see if she’ll let you bring Jack?” He asked after a moment, muscles straining under the effort to keep his face neutral.  

“Sure.” Karmen nodded with a soft shrug. She wasn’t hopeful but she could certainly try. She’d do anything to make him happy at this point. “Oh.” She exclaimed, making him jump as she reached for her bag on the nightstand. “Here.” She said excitedly, rummaging through her bag and producing something.

She held out her hand and he took the object with a smile.

“I forgot this was coming out.” He said softly, staring at the Pokémon game in his hands before looking to her with watery eyes. “Thank you.” He whispered, feeling emotion rise to the surface once more.

“I just bought them before I came here. So you’ve got Sword and I‘ve got Shield, so we can trade.” Karmen smiled, pulling her console from her bag and placing it on the nightstand. “You can borrow mine until you get home.” She said softly.

“Actually, Arthur brought me mine.” John said quickly, pulling open the nightstand and checking to make sure he hadn’t dreamed it.

Everything was fuzzy at the moment.

“Oh, even better.” Karmen smiled wickedly, taking her console back and placing it in her purse. “You’d better get on that. Make sure to catch extras of all the exclusives for me.” She said, only half joking. But mainly intending to push John into obsessing over something other than the state of his marriage.

John stared at the cover art, excitement flicking in his chest for the first time in a long while. He really had been looking forward to it.

Until…

He closed his eyes, pushing the thought away as he placed the game down next to him. At least now he would have something to keep him occupied during the long nights of no sleep.

“Thanks.” He said again, unable to accurately express how much the small gesture meant to him.

“You’re welcome honey.” Karmen smiled, placing a comforting hand on his knee and petting it gently as he watched on with glazed eyes.

“Do… Do you have to go soon?” John asked, voice hoarse as he kept his emotions at bay for the moment.

“Not if you don’t want me to.” She answered, a question lingering in the air as John shook his head in response.

“Wanna play?” He asked after a moment, watching as her lips quirked at the question.

“Hell yes, I do.” She answered eagerly, reaching for her bag once more as John chuckled at her enthusiasm.

She always seemed to know exactly what he needed to make him feel better.

He was so grateful to have her.

End.

 ~~~~

John is a Pokémon fan. I don’t take constructive criticism. :’)

Please let me know if you read this and liked it! I love hearing from my awesome readers! Let me know if you want more backstory and what you’re hoping to see! ❤

[n3verending16]

you were good to me - Oikawa Tooru x Reader

So, this is my first ever fanfic! Aah! Writing this was 100% a daunting experience for me, but I largely enjoyed writing it (posting it tho? *rapidly spams space button to align lyrics with the middle* *posts* *formatting is completely off and i have to do it all over again* *screams*). If you have any constructive criticism/ formatting tips, please comment it or send me a message ʕ •́؈•̀ ₎

Not requested, but certainly inspired by all the other oikawa x reader writer-chans out there (and a good friend of mine, yejin if you're reading this ily smkamsjskamssjk)!

caitlin and cindy ily too uwu

Based off "you were good to me"

All credits belong to their rightful owners

………………………………………………………………………………………

Lying, isn't better than silence

"I don't love you anymore."

Oikawa Tooru could feel the bitter aftertaste of his own words to you that night.

Floating, but I feel like I'm dying

One year later, and he still couldn't break off the chains that anchored him down every time he jumped for the ball in a match. He couldn't fly like he used to, the guilt in his gut pressing him down every time he looked towards the stands and you weren't there, cheering for him as you usually did. It was his choice, his fault. And he regretted it, although he wished he didn't.

Still, no matter where I go

At the end of every road

You had always been there for him before, whenever he felt he wasn't good enough. The gentle caress of your fingers through his hair and your soft eyes peering into his own chocolate irises had helped him get over the loss of the match and focus on getting even better than he was. On particularly harsh days, you sang him to sleep, the dulcet tones and lull of your voice relaxing him as he passed into a gentle slumber.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

You had always been understanding of him whenever he ended his practice sessions late. You never asked for his time, knowing his passion for volleyball burned brighter than anything you'd ever seen before, and you wanted to support him. You hugged and congratulated him with a smile on your face when he won, and you comforted him when he lost, but most importantly, you were always there in his life. A constant he could trust, someone he could rely on, someone he could love. He'd been thankful for it. And yet, when he saw the successful application to the Argentinian Volleyball Team, he was hit with the truth. Oikawa was moving to a country on the other side of the world, and things would've gotten so much harder for the both of you. You deserved someone that was so much more than him, someone who would hold you at night, someone who could go on real dates with you, someone who could, and would, put their own time away for you. As much as it hurt him, he knew for your own good, he had to let you go. So he did it the way he hoped would hurt you the least.

I know it's easier to run

After everything I've done

Cut it off. Keep your emotions away from this. This is what's best for them.

"I'm moving to Argentina, and I think it's time I tell you something..."

"I don't love you anymore. We should end things."

You were good to me

Yeah, you were good to me

He still hears your quiet sobs that night sometimes.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Leaving, isn't better than trying

You'd spent that night lying on the couch, crying to yourself over your boyfriend who'd just walked out on you. What had you done wrong? Were you still not good enough for him? As soon as you had began to stop, reduced to sniffles, images of his silhouetted back as he walked out the front door and the cold glint in his brown eyes as he said the words that broke your heart flashed through your mind made you start bawling all over again. Had everything that had happened between the two of you been a lie? Had your presence in his life not mattered to him as much as his presence in yours?

Growing, but I'm just growing tired

You would've liked to say you were a different person than you had been one year ago. You would've liked to be spiteful and show Oikawa Tooru, international volleyball star, that you had outgrown being lovesick and was now independent and successful, with people who truly loved you. You would've liked to tell yourself that you were so, so much better off without him. But that was a lie, and you were not one to lie to yourself.

Now I'm worried for my soul

And I'm still scared of growing old

You had, honestly, tried to get over him though. You'd made yourself pass out from drunkenness only to wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and the incident more ingrained into your head. You'd busied yourself with cooking, gaming and knitting, and when that hadn't worked, considered a one-night stand from an overly amiable guy you'd just met at the corner café, after deciding against it when one of the girls standing in front of the window outside sent you two a deathly stare. You'd stacked all of his belongings and tried to burn them, until you realised your shaky hands couldn't start the lighter properly.

Even if you had forgotten him for a while, a dull, grey, reprieve from the emotions in your head, it wouldn't have been for long; the memories were everywhere. There was the book he'd accidentally spilt his bubble tea in when you snuck up behind him. There was the somewhat-lopsided drawer, a result of when it got stuck and he'd tried to force it in anyway, ending up in the sides breaking. There was the red christmas mug you'd gotten for him; only to realise he'd given you the exact same one, but green. The small bin in your room was full of milk bread wrappers. Even the study desk in the corner reminded you of days where he would try to draw something cute for you- you'd laughed and told him he had all the time in the world to improve.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

That had clearly been a lie. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to believe the words he'd said to you before he left a year ago were the truth. You had been sure that your relationship was pure, built from the ground on trust and a mutual understanding of each other- you'd respect his love for volleyball, he'd respect your desire to work harder in your career. Sure, he didn't sound like he was lying, but he was THE Oikawa Tooru- a man who held his confident and flippant façade up to the spotlights, letting the light shine on him however he pleased. You needed to know the truth, and like a burning question at the back of your mind, it never disappeared- before you contacted Iwaizumi Hajime, his best friend and your former close classmate, who told you "It was about time you knew the truth". You were glad to have heard those words.

After having a long conversation with Haji (most of it was you cussing), you wanted to hug Oikawa and punch him at the same time.

One decision led to another and the next day, you were standing on an airplane one year after the breakup with a plane ticket clutched in your hands, and a ticket to the Argentina vs Spain match folded up neatly in your purse.

"Try to let him off easy, yeah? He hasn't been at his best ever since he left you. I think he still regrets it."

………………………………………………………………………………………

And I'm so used to letting go

But I don't wanna be alone

There's noise in the stadium, filled with the audience's cheers and camera shutters going off, but drowned out by the silence in his own head. Oikawa lines the ball up to serve, watching the other team, analysing their positions. "Where should I hit?" he thinks to himself. This is his chance to take another set against Spain. If he misses this one, they will have lost the match 3-1, and it would've been his fault. He can't let that happen. The whistle blows, the ball goes up, and he's doing his jump-serve again, feeling the chains around his feet ready to snap taut like always.

But then amidst the bright lights, among the screaming crowd, he sees a flash of white and teal. Time seems to stop, and he floats in the air.

Was't that his Aoba Johsai volleyball jacket from high school? The one that he'd left behind at your house?

At first, he dismissed it quickly, thinking it was another die-hard fangirl who had one made or maybe even someone from his old team, because no way in hell could you be here right now watching him play when he'd walked out of your life and caused you so much pain and heartbreak one year ago. But then he saw the black purse, with a delicate pink floral pattern and gold highlights. The one he'd gotten for you on your birthday. He meets your wide eyes, your name is on his lips as he stares at your form.

But time moves again. And he grunts as his palm makes contact with the ball, making it fly into the corner and the other team turns and gapes at where surely there was a dent in the ground from the impact. They'd taken back a set, the score was 2-2. His team cheers wildly around him. The commentators rapidly fire off about the service ace- something he hadn't been able to do for a long time.

He's still staring at you in mid-air, but then he falls, meets the ground, his legs give out from under him and everything blurs.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

You stare, lips parted as he collapses, slightly rising from your seat from worry. Had his knee gotten any better from before? Would he still be okay? Surely everything he'd worked for couldn't just end from a fall... but you realised if it did, it would've been your fault. You were, after all, the one who distracted him. Something punches you in the gut as you watch him get up, and he looks at you, the expression on his face one of pure shock and something you can't quite decipher. He keeps his eyes on yours as they shrug on his national sports jacket and carry him off, and you stare into his milky chocolate irises until the doors close behind him. Then you're pushing yourself through the crowd of seated anxious girls to find him again.

God only knows where our fears go

Hearts I've broke, now my tears flow

Oikawa finds himself in the hallway staring at the azure blue sky outside the window as a flock of birds soars past. The medics fuss over him, lifting his mildly sore leg and checking it once, twice, and he absentmindedly nods at their questions. There's a commotion at the door at the end of the hallway and he hears your muffled, strained voice. "No, please! I need to see him... you don't understand..." Eyes widening, he lifts himself up and hobbles over to the door at the end of the hallway, ignoring the protests of the baffled medics and guards. He puts his hand on the handle of the door and pushes, finding you arguing with a guard on the other side of the door. He hears his name from you, your voice giving him comfort. He smiles, albeit a broken one but still, a genuine smile, before he falls, his knee giving out again.

But this time, you're there to catch him.

You'll see that I'm sorry

Cause you were good to me

You were good to me

You hold Tooru as he sobs onto your shoulder. His tears cascade down his face as he clings to you, and he knows he doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve you. Why had you tried to find him, after he broke your heart a year ago? You realise you're crying too when your vision blurs and all you can sense is the warmth from his skin on yours, his smell filtering the air around you. You take a deep breath in, honey vanilla with slight mint curling into your nose. People awkwardly stand by as they watch the reunion, mindful of the emotions and rawness in the air but also aware of the need to relieve pressure from his leg a bit. Eventually, someone bites the bullet and Oikawa sits down against the wall with you on his right. "You came here from Japan." Tooru hoarsely whispers. "Why?"

Before you could answer, the door opens and his teammate pops his head in, taking note of the people standing uncomfortably around.

"Hey Tooru, are you gonna be able to play?" he speaks in Spanish. He takes sight of you, a girl he's seen somewhere before, sitting next to his friend, and pauses.

"Wait, isn't that the girl on your wallpaper? I thought you said- never mind." He carefully speaks in broken English.

"Anyways, coach says if you're still fine we can send you in." You blink as Tooru puts his arm around you, a pout evident on his face. "I'm pretty sure I'll be able to play (the medic nods along in agreement), just give me a few moments." he answers. His teammate hesitates, nods, and closes the door. Tooru turns his head and rests his head on your shoulder, his fluffy brown hair tickling your neck. You nearly want to cry at what his teammate just told said. "Oh, Tooru..."

"You still haven't answered the question," he tells you. "Iwa-chan must've told you that I left because you deserved more than someone who couldn't be here for you. I don't deserve you, y/n-chan. You deserve to be happy, and... I'm not the one." He tucks away your air behind your ear. "But now that you're here, I can't help but want to be selfish. I want us to be together. I still want you."

You can't help laughing quietly at him, the little pout forming on his face again. "Oh Tooru... you wanted me to be happy. And you thought leaving me so brashly would achieve that? You forgot one very, very important thing." You lean into his shoulder, and play with his calloused fingers.

And now I'm closing every door

Cause I'm sick of wanting more

"If I'm ever to be truly happy..." You tell him, shifting yourself so you're cupping his soft cheeks and looking into his chocolate eyes. "Then you are, absolutely, essential in my life." His heart leaps, soaring at your words. After all that time, you still...

You tut at the dreamlike, adorable expression on his face. "C'mon, Tooru. Don't cry on me now. You've still got a match to win, don't you?" He breaks himself out of his reverie as you lightly pinch his cheeks, and grins ear to ear as you begin to move back to the stands. "Wait, wait." He shrugs his volleyball jacket off his shoulders and hands it to you. "Wear this over that, I want everyone to know you're still mine." You rolls your eyes at his childish request, "Your fangirls are going to kill me, I swear," but comply nevertheless. He's still smiling as he watches his oversized jacket swish around at your mid-thigh as you walk towards the doors. Anything else could come after the match, but for now, this was good enough for him.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

For the rest of that match, for the first time, Oikawa Tooru flies. They do eventually win, 3-2. He's never felt more ecstatic as he pulls you in happily, kissing all over your face and handing you his Most Valuable Player award as you giggle from his childlike antics. The reporters rapidly take note of everything and theres a collective groan from the gaggle of fangirls somewhere, but it's you and him both in your own little world.

Swear I'm different than before

I won't hurt you anymore

Life goes on. You fly back to Japan, with a promise that he would never shut you out again. Sure, you would've preferred it if he was next to you, but you called and messaged each other so frequently that you found you had little to worry about. In rare spaces of time, he flew back to Japan to meet family and friends before spoiling you on dates, decorating your house ("Hey, we need to retake this photo! I'm even better looking now!") or cuddling on the couch together. Every relationship had its downsides, and long-distance relationships were even more a pain, but you were more than ready to take the troubles on if it meant you could still see his smiling face through the messenger call at 1am in the morning.

And you knew this time, he wouldn't stop you from trying.

Cause you were good to me

[seanego]

Change - continued

The newsroom was dead. Tracy walked into the familiar place that smelt of old carpet, damp walls and looked like an industrial factory. She had always thought that being a journalist would be the same as in the movies. Newsroom stacked with random files on desks and editors screaming at reporters what stories they should cover. Instead, it was always a boring battle. Tracy had to dig deep into the depths of her brain to come up with a story to pitch in the diary meeting every single morning and this is not the life that she wanted for herself. She was 26, living a life that she was not happy with. If she really wanted to, she could change her life in the flash of an eye but here she is walking into a newsroom filled with old and ailing people.

She sat down at her desk which happened to be right in the middle of the newsrooms if all the interns were seated there with the sole purpose to display them to everyone. She got along with her day. She was going to do what she had been doing the past few days, fake doing work and focus on getting her things to go to Korea ready.

 3 months later

 Tracy awoke to the sun shining into her apartment into the empty spot where Andile would have been sleeping. She was not missing him but was content with the fact that he was now gone. Although he was still messaging her and hounding her, she finally decided she had had enough of the secrets when she found him messaging his ex and lying about being single when in fact, he was living with her.

“He really took me for a fool hey and I forgave him, stupid girl!” She hissed as she got out of bed.

Coffee or tea? Today was going to be a good day, she was finally getting her visa to go to Korea, after the endless hustle of getting those documents ready she had finally put through all her things and waited. Today is the day, the message of confirmation came through and she was about to get her visa and go book her plane ticket. She smiled and hopped out of bed with huge excitement. She opted for a mimosa

“Nothing wrong with a boozy breakfast to celebrate this huge win, right?” She giggled and poured some champagne in a clean glistening flute. She poured some orange juice and tasted her work

“Hmm, perfection!”

She spun on her toes glass in hand and headed to the bath she ran some hot water and added bubble bath just to treat herself,

“Let’s start it off boozy and chilled yeah?”

She opened the cabinet to get some essential oils, she poured some tea tree oil in the water and it smelled divine. She grabbed her phone and called her mom she needed to know how much time she had,

The phone rang,

“Hello?”

“Mom! How are you? Did you sleep well?”

“Someone is in a good mood I see. I slept just fine Tracy. I guess you calling to find out the time and logistics?”

“Yes mommy. I was thinking of taking the train then meeting you in Midrand or Hatfield then we can drive to the consulate together,”

‘Oh yeah the Gautrain. Let’s meet at Midrand, I haven’t seen you in so long I want to have some late lunch and catch up with you.”

“Sure, thing mom that sounds great remember we need to get to the consulate before 1pm!”

“Sure, I will meet you at Midrand at 11am?”

“Sounds like a plan”

“Bye”

“Bye Bye”

She clicked off the call. It was 7:45. She still had time for some me time. She picked up her glass and headed to the bathroom for that much needed soak. As soon as she settled in the bath, she felt like she was on cloud nine. Nothing could possibly go wrong. She connected her phone to her speaker and played Drake’s album “Nothing Was the Same”. She sipped her champagne and shut everything out and just relaxed to her drink and the music.

Tumi paced around in his apartment impatiently. He felt like he needed to speak to Tracy especially considering that Andile was his friend and he kind of knew what was happening. She needed an apology. That girl was a lot of things but the one thing that she was not was someone that you played and didn’t take seriously. She would have held Andile down but he took her for granted. He already admitted his feeling for her to himself a long time ago and yeah of course it is against the bro code to go for a friend’s ex-girlfriend. They weren’t event really friends anymore they had a fallout a couple of weeks ago and stopped talking to each other. Maybe it was messed up that he was trying to get close to this girl now but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to be close to her as selfish as it sounded. He grabbed his jacket, wallet and keys and walked out

“Here we go,”

She lived upstairs in room 410. He decided to take the fire escape. Smiling while climbing thinking of all the fond memories he had with her in the building drinking and just having fun. Somehow things between them were always fun and genuine. His feelings for Tracy are wrong considering who she is and that she is the ex-girlfriend of someone he considers a brother but he just cannot help himself. His heart starts to pound as he reaches her door. He knocks and hears no answer. Sometimes she would have earphones in and would not be able to hear him but he would walk in and she wouldn’t mind so he decided to let himself in. He was greeted by a nice calming scent that smelt like flowers and trees and earth. It smells like one of those self-care body washes one of his ex-girlfriends had and he figured she must have just taken a shower. He calls out to her.

Tracy sits upright in a flash to hear a voice calling her name in the living room her heart is beating in her ears and she can barely hear anything. Who in the hell could just walk into her house? He remembered that she Would let Tumi do that all the time

“Tumi?” she called out nervously

“Yeah, it’s me sorry to scare you I didn’t know you were busy this morning,”

She sighs with huge relief as she hears his familiar voice.

“That’s all right, pour yourself something to drink,”

“Is it not a bit too early to be drinking?”

“Whose mouth am I using? Mine. So, I will drink whenever it is that I please,” she said as she wrapped herself in a white gown and sipped her drink.

She stepped out and Tumi’s heart started beating faster. She looks so good like this, relaxed and not puffy eyed like the last time he saw her. She was heartbroken and could not find Andile anywhere because he had just walked out. He had to lie to her and say he didn’t know where he was when we were hiding in his apartment. Tumi thought about what exactly he would be apologizing for if he decided to do so? The lies? The deception? The guilt by association?

He sat down in the living room waiting for Tracy who stepped out of the hall way in a summer dress and her braids hanging down her back. She had not out any make-up on but she was putting on some sunscreen on her arms

“What brings you all the way up here,’ She joked

“Well, I am not quite sure myself. I guess I was bored and decided to come and bother you if you not too busy that is,’

“For you? I always have time,” She giggled

She motioned towards his empty glass for a refill and he nodded,

“You know I am going to the Korean consulate today with mom to get my visa, hence the champagne”

“Oh really? You should have told me I would have prepared a nice gift for you too!”

“Agh come on Tumi”

She brushed a braid out of her face and smiled. Tumi always knew what to say and what to do to make her feel better whenever she felt like things were not going her way. They spent the next two hours planning all the things she would do once she got to Korea they had not even realized as they sat on her white carpeted floor that they had gotten really close to each other and were whispering and giggling like tow teenagers who have sneaked off to come and see their lover. Tumi lifted his hand and gently laid the tips of his fingers on her arm. The touch as small as it was sent a fire burning inside Tracy. She wanted him to hold her in his arms and just stay there. Tracy could tell as she spoke that Tumi was focused on her lips rather than listening to what she was saying.

“Tracy, I am really sorry about the way things turned out between you and..” his voice trailed off and he looked down

“You are not responsible for his actions. He didn’t know what he had and he started acting out and as a result he lost everything that we worked for,” she said becoming more determined

“he could have chosen to be honest and a man about what he did but he continued to lie to me.” She paused

“Can we talk about something else please”

He nodded and ran his fingers up her shoulder to the base of her neck. He cups her head in his hand and leaned closer towards Tracy. Tracy was too shocked to even move. The fingers on her arm and neck and now pulling her closer were sending and electrifying feeling all over her body.

When his lips met hers, he reminds was cleared of all thought. She forgot about everything else, the visa, the problems she had faced, her ex. It was just her and Tumi. He pressed his soft lips firmly against hers and gently pushed his tongue meeting hers. She exploded with pleasure and leaned closer into Tumi who fully embraced her and pulled her closer to him. He lifted Tracy onto his lap and closer to his chest. The warm feeling of his body against hers felt safe and sensual, she felt protected and safe. She felt wanted and desired and most of all she wanted him as much if not more than he wanted her.

 Tumi pulled Tracy closer, his kisses more wanting and stronger. He wanted he right in that moment. He cupped her breast with his left hand and balanced her body with his palm under her holding him close to his chest. She wrapped her small arms around his neck, she may have been petite but her grip was a strong one that pleasantly surprised him. She could take more than what people think. He released her lips and tilted his head down to gently kiss her temple. Tracy shivered in pleasure and unintentionally let out a soft moan in his hear. The sound of her enjoying him made his hunger for her even stronger.

 He pulled away from her and she looked up at him surprised expecting him to regret the passionate moment they just shared. But instead, she was met with pleading eyes from Tumi. Pleading with her to have mercy on him and stop a second. She wanted so bad to ignore this because behind those eyes she saw a glimpse of man that was ready to devour her and he was trying his best not to take advantage of her. She conceded and shifted off of him

“This is such a bad idea Tumi,”She lied to herself

“I can agree with you on that one but Tracy, you know how I have always felt about you. I think you are an amazing person,”

“But what we are doing is wrong. You are my ex’s friend. It is wrong”

Tumi walks up to Tracy and gently places his hand on the base of her back.

“Yeah, maybe it is wrong but why does it feel so right to have you so close to me Tracy?’

He leans forward and without even thinking about it, Tracy slowly lifts herself on her toes and leans in to kiss him. Their lips meet in an explosion of tension, lust, want and desire. Tracy gives in to the feelings and he feels her melt into him and completely give into him He doesn’t want her to just see him a rebound though. He wants her to continue to want him the way that she does forever. He wants her to belong only to him.

Tumi pulls away. Confused by the sudden change Tracy asks

“What?”

He gently smiles down at her, the smile that could melt any girls’ heart. He gently kisses her forehead

“Babe please, let’s slow down…you have to get ready to leave.”

Tracy is brought back to her senses and realizes she may have let the bubbles go to her head too much but she doesn’t regret anything that has happened with Tumi.

Tracy makes her way to her bedroom in her towel. She stifled a giggle as she imagined what could have happened. She decided to throw on jeans and a white T shirt and some white air force 1s. You can never go wrong with a simple look like that. She puts on some perfume and steps out of the room. Tumi is smoking on the balcony. She joins him and they laugh and talk about the good times.  Andile gone and forgotten.

[etherealrj]

bad at love - part two

pairings - reddie

words - 1.3K

 warnings - none

part one

part three

part four

It was quite easy to say that the car ride to the arcade was the most awkward situation either boy had been in since walking in on Richie’s parents getting it on, on Richie’s 16th birthday.

Eddie completely shut down once inside the beat-up piece of shit that Richie calls a car. Although none of the losers would give it up for the world, they’ve all been through too much in this car but it was still a piece of shit.

Eddie cringes at idea of the copious amount times Richie has been balls deep inside his girlfriend in this very seat. He tries not think about that too much not wanting to mentally scar himself even more than he already is.

“Eds,” Richie mumbles from the drives seat. “You-You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong but I’m here to listen.” He pauses to turn down the busy main street of Derry. “Like, if you want. Y'know?” Eddie doesn’t verbalise a response but sends a subtle nod in Richie’s direction hoping that was enough to get his message across.

He appreciates it. He really does, Richie’s never this quiet, especially when they are driving, he always feels the need to turn whatever loud repulsive song is playing on the radio, blasting it from the speakers while screaming at the top of his lungs. Eddie lets out an affectionate huff at the memory of Richie belting out the lyrics to Shaggy and looking utterly ridiculous while doing so.

“Earth to Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie says obnoxiously waving a hand in front of his face. Breaking Eddie from his thoughts, he realised he’d been staring off into space for the past few minutes. Eddie pushes Richie’s hand away from his face.

“Ugh, get your hand away from me.”

Richie lets out a loud laugh before leaning into Eddie, “That’s not what you’ll be saying later tonight, baby boy.” Eddie rolls his eyes, before shoving the car door open and heading toward the arcade, he walks off on Richie half heartedly listening to him proclaim sex noise from the top of his lungs across the carpark. Heavy footsteps echo on the bitumen behind him, Eddie can hear the boys aspirated voice faded as he entered the building. The amount of kids running around always seems to overwhelm him.

Eddie feels Richie put his hand on his shoulder, immediately calming his senses. The taller boy guides him toward the booth in the back. The loud laughs from their pals brings a small smile to Eddie’s face.

“Eddie! Richie! We we’re starting to worry.” Mike says with a big smile as he shuffles over to make room for the pair.

“Yeah. You guys are late.” Stan added, brushing the single curl from in front of his eye behind his ear.

“Sorry guys, Eddie was trying to get into my pants. I needed to remind him that I have prior engagements.” Eddie slapped Richie across the chest before leaning his head back against the booth, repressing the urge to wipe everything down with antibacterial wipes. Ben snorted loudly at the pair.

“Speaking of girlfriend!” Bev exclaimed. “How are you guys?” Eddie listened intently to Richie’s answer, noticing a slight hesitation. He cracked opened one of his eyes to see the taller boy staring at his face.

“We, um” He paused. “It’s good, great even.” Eddie groaned internally, supressing a sigh. “For her. I think. I’m trying really hard to just love her but I can’t.”

“W-W-w-hat?” Bill stutters. His stutter extremely worsened due to the heavy surprise of Richie’s statement. It had gotten better since they were thirteen, all the Losers were incredibly proud of Bill’s effort to improve his speech patterns.

“You didn’t mention this in the car Rich?” Eddie questions, slightly more intrigued than necessary. He’s still his best friend regardless of what he feels for the other. Richie glances around the table and lands his focus on Eddie.

“She told me, she’s in love with me.”

“What’s the matter with that? You guys say that all the time?” Ben said. Richie paused looking down at his hands placed upon the table. Eddie was feeling more excited than deemed acceptable but the look on Richie’s face was telling him it wasn’t all that important.

“I love her like I love Eddie’s Mom.”

 “It’s enough, but not enough. No offense Ed.” Eddie snorted and waved his hand.

“So, what are you gonna do?” Eddie asked nibbling on his lower lip.

“Yeah, you can’t just leave her hanging.” Mike added after taking a sip from what Eddie could only imagine too be Mike’s all-time favourite strawberry milkshake.  

“If you were in the same position you wouldn’t appreciate it.” Stan said in-between bites of his fruit salad.  The poor boy could only ever eat the food his Mother prepared for him, he always had to bring food with him whenever they all go out.

“If you don’t love her at all, you need to break up with her. The sooner the better.” Bev said with a raise of her eyebrows.

Richie sighed before saying, “That’s not even the worst part.”

“W-w-what could b-be w-worse than that?” Bill asked. Richie leaned back into the red booth, back relaxing against the worn vinyl.

He lifted his arm and settled it on the back of the chair behind Eddie’s back. “I’m in love with someone else.” Eddie’s whole entire world seemed to simultaneous brighten and dull all at once.

Moments past by when suddenly Eddie is pulled from his thoughts by a slap on his back followed by Richie’s departure. Eddie shook his head and faced the group. All five other members seemed to have targeted their attention toward him. “What just happened? Where’d Rich go?”

“You weren’t listening?”  Ben said. “He’s going to break up with Jane.” The table went silent all the remaining members of the Loser’s attention focus’ on Eddie.

“What?” Eddie said with a shake of his head glancing around at the Loser’s.

“Whose gonna tell him?” Eddie looks over to Mike, an unreadable expression etched onto his face.

“Y-you know he loves y-you right?” Bill says, eyes widened as he glances across the round table at Eddie. Eddie shakes his head.

“He’s been spending a lot of time with Roxanne lately.” Eddie trailed off, glancing around the room at anything but his friends. The old worn out red seats that loitered the walls, the dark carpet covered in a multitude of questionable stains, the walls lined with pinball machines and the area slowly filling with children all rushing around, hoping to get a spot in line in front of their favourite game. The arcade was always busy on Friday nights, the absence of Riche was unnerving. Eddie knowing the only reason he still comes here is for boy. He mentally wished the boy luck in whatever course he was taking with Jane.

“Eddie,” Bev said. “It’s you. It always has been.”  

“Well-Well, I- Maybe I don’t like him back, did you ever think of that huh? What makes you think that I Eddie Kaspbrak would ever feel anything for Trashmouth Richie Tozier? Have you seen that boy? Have You? There are no redeeming qualities about him whatsoever.  Not even his soft curls or-or his dark eyes that make you feel warm all over or the number of freckles that always seem to multiply across his nose every other week. Or-or even that small smile that plays on his lips when he sleeps and that fact his literally as blind as a bat without those ugly ass glasses. Don’t even get me started on those stupid Mom jokes he’s always making or-or his annoying habit to give everyone and everything a fucking nickname. I don’t have any feelings for Richie Tozier. Ugly! Everything is just ugly.” Eddie sucked in a hard breath from previously exhausting all his oxygen from prior events. He was met by five faces which he was all too familiar with, all sporting the same amused expression.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and before he had any time to reaction, the pale faced curly headed boy he knew all to well was leaning over him. If Eddie were to turn his face slightly to the left there would be no avoiding the beautiful face of Richie Tozier. Eddie swallowed down a lump in his throat. “Wow Ed’s, you’ve wounded me. Didn’t know you had it in ya.”

A/N sike guys theres gonna a part three because i’m wayyyy to invested in this story. I hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what you think! I had a lot of problems posting this so I hope it posted the right one lmao

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“Frozen in the Dark” - Oneshot

“Frozen in the Dark” - Oneshot

My Masterlist - Here

Tony Stark x Reader

Word Count: 2,153

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Your Last Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing, Panic Attack Type Thing, Past Trauma (Hydra Stuff),

Summary: Reader has powers similar to Bobby in the X-Men movies, and is afraid of the dark thanks to Hydra. When there is a storm and all of the power goes out in the Avengers tower, her and Tony get closer.

Author’s Note: So this is my first Tony Stark x Reader piece! I randomly got the idea and decided to write it and run with it! I hope you enjoy! This isn’t beta read, so I’m sorry for any errors.

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces (All Works, Specific Fandoms, or Specific Multi-Parts), please let me know! I am taking requests. And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

Tags: @goodnightwife @avengersimaginings

It’s been about a year since you joined the Avengers. Well, sort of. You were still in training. Your hand to hand combat as well as your weapons training were pretty much complete and up to the team’s standards. It was your special abilities that caused a problem. You had the ability to manipulate ice and colder temperatures. You have been working on controlling it, but you haven’t been able to completely get it together. Last week, you lost it and froze half of the hangar.

This inability to control yourself led to multiple mental breakdowns. The only people who could calm you down were Wanda and Tony. Wanda had to use her power most times, but Tony was able to just be him and help. You had always been interested in Tony, and you could even say that you were in love with him. But you figured he wouldn’t go for someone like you. You’re not his usual type of woman, why would he change?

The entire team had to go out on a week long mission. Tony stayed back though. Wanda was for sure needed, but he wanted to be home with you in case something happened. The team agreed and left you and Tony in the Tower.

Everything was going smoothly this week. You had been able to do some personal work, worked out a bit, and even got some training in with Tony. Control was still a struggle, but you didn’t breakdown since Tony was right there to help. The week seemed to speed by. That is, until the storm hit. You had seen the weather forecast for a couple days before Saturday night. You knew it was going to be a bad storm, but you didn’t think it would get as bad as it did.

You were working on cleaning your room while it rained. It had been something that you’d been putting off for awhile. You were working on folding some clothes when the power completely shut off. It was dark outside, so not a lot of light was coming from your window. It was so dark. It became difficult to breathe and you could feel yourself shaking.

“No no no no no.” You backed into the corner of your room and slide down the wall. “FRIDAY! Help!” You just about screamed to the AI system.

“What can I do for you, miss (Y/L/N)?” You knew FRIDAY would be working. It was designed to still be operational in times like these.

“Please tell me that there lights that can be turned on.” You tried to control yourself but felt yourself slipping.

“No ma’am. The power can not be rewired to lights at this time.” There was a small pause before the AI spoke again. “Are you alright, miss?”

The ends of your hair started to freeze as you felt your body temperature slowly drop. The wall behind you started to get cold and sort of freeze as well. You pull your knees to your chest and put your head against your knees. There was a boa constrictor inside your body tightening itself around your lungs. You needed to tell Friday to get help.

“No. Please… Get Tony.” You were able to manage to get out. Friday did a quick scan of your vitals and sent them along with a message to Tony.

~~~~~~~~

Tony was working in his workshop when the power went out. He was fixing a part of his suit that had been damaged during the last mission he was on. His phone went off, Friday was sending a file through as well as a message. He opened the file and scanned through the report of your vitals while listening to Friday.

“Sir, (Y/N) needs your help as soon as possible.” Tony was going through the file Friday sent. Your heart rate was through the roof while your body temperature was decreasing. He knew what was going on in an instant.

Storm. Blackout. You. Freezing. Attack.

“Friday, where is (Y/N)?!” He got his jacket that was hanging on the back of his chair. He knew any sort of layering would help you warm up slowly after you made it through this attack.

“In her room, sir.” And with that, he sprinted to your room.

~~~~~~~~

You were taken by Hydra when you were a young adult. You knew you had a special ability concerning the cold, but you had never really played with it because you thought it was dangerous. Hydra thought it was potential for them.

They had kept you as a prisoner for years. There was never ending torture and trying to persuade you to be one of their soldiers.  You never broke though. You knew how awful Hydra was, and you were by no means going to be fighting for them. So you endured anything and everything they threw at you.

They found a whole new way of making your life a living hell: Not letting you see any of it. They had carried on with what they normally did to you, but this time they blindfolded you. You couldn’t tell what they were going to do or when, it made your life in that hellhole even more terrifying than you thought possible.

Having to go through with that shit until the Avengers came and saved you, being deprived of that sense in everyday life still had negative outcomes.

You’ve gotten help for this, but your fear of the dark still lived no matter how hard you tried to kill it. This fear decided to rise thanks to the storm tonight.

~~~~~~~~

Tony opened the door to your room with a flashlight in hand. You weren’t on your bed or in your chair.

“(Y/N/N)?! Where are you, sweetheart?”

He stayed completely still so he could clearly hear around him. You couldn’t bring yourself to move or anything. You were so scared and so in your own head. Luckily, Tony heard your exasperated breathing coming from the corner and found you there.

His heart broke a little seeing you so broken. He quickly assessed the situation and made his moves. Not only were you having an attack, but your powers were coming out because of the emotional instability. He took his jacket from his hands and draped it around your shoulders. You were too stiff for him to try to get you to wear it properly, but this would have to do for now.

Next, he grabbed your favorite blanket from your bed, it was a thicker one with a simple pattern on it. You loved simplicity. He then picked you up from your floor and took you to the living room. He was always shocked at how cold you could make yourself. When he picked you up, it was like picking up a solid piece of ice.

This isn’t the first time he’s had to do something similar to this. He knew you well enough to know what would help and what wouldn’t.

He knew the living room was a safe bet as a better location for you. It was more open and there was more light coming from the outside through the large windows along the wall. While it was storming outside, there was a dull light that illuminated the room a little bit. Enough to make a difference to you.

He sat you both on the couch, him in the corner with you in his lap. He then wrapped your favorite blanket around the both of you and held you close while he traced circles against your back. You were already starting to come out of your haze, but your lungs still felt constricted and you were shaking like a leaf in autumn.

“It’s okay. I got you, (Y/N). I’m not leaving. You’re safe. I promise.” Tony whispered these every so often. He felt you loosening up as you both sat there for a few minutes. He looked down to see if you looked any calmer. He was surprised.

You originally had your head buried in his neck, but your attention was captured by a faint blue light under Tony’s shirt. You knew it was the arc reactor, but you had never really paid any attention to it until now. The light radiating from it seemed to help you focus back on reality and get your breathing back to normal.

You were lightly running your hands along the grooves and ridges of the reactor through his shirt when he looked down at you. He had never really seen it as anything other than a life support system for himself. Apparently it had a sort of similar affect on you.

You finally got to a stable state. Tony feels your body temperature rise back to normal and you weren’t shaking nearly as bad as before. He leaned his head down and kissed your head. You felt so guilty every time he or Wanda had to come in and help you.

“Tony?” Apparently your voice shocked him because you felt him jump a bit underneath you. He hadn’t expected to hear from you until way later.

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this type of stuff. I feel so awful whenever I have to have you swoop in and--” You were going to keep talking, but Tony shushed you. He put a hand on your cheek and made you look at him while he talked.

“Stop that. Please. If I didn’t want to help you, I wouldn’t. But I care about you so much more than you know. When you first got here, I thought you were going to be more trouble than when we took Bucky in. But once I got to know you, you stole my heart.” He paused for a couple of seconds, as if he was internally debating about continuing talking. “I love you, (Y/N)> I know this is probably awful timing, but it needed to be said. I love you and I would honestly do anything for you.”

A few tears fell down your face. Tony saw this and panicked a bit.

“Oh god! I said something wrong didn’t I? I’m so sorry! I just--” Before he could get any further, you pulled him into a hug. You both stayed in the embrace for a few seconds before you pulled away to look at him and broke the silence.

“You don’t understand how much I have wanted to hear you say that. I never thought it would happen. But I love you too, Tony. I have for awhile now and I just thought you wouldn’t go for someone like me. I’m not the typical supermodel or anything, and I’m messed up and I--” Tony didn’t let you continue. 

He pulled you into a surprisingly gentle and sweet kiss. It wasn’t too quick, but it didn’t turn into making out or anything. It was perfect.

“You’re right. You aren’t the stereotypical perfect girl. Instead, you are what I want and what I need. No one can control who they fall in love with, but damn I’m glad that I fell for you.”

You both couldn’t stop smiling. You both agreed to take it a bit slow for now. Nothing too intense was done tonight. Instead, you pulled out your laptop that thankfully had a fully battery, and put on some movies that you had saved on it. At some point you ended up falling asleep against Tony, snuggled in his jacket under the blankets. It wasn’t too long until Tony was fast asleep with you on the couch.

~~~~~~~~

The team had come back very late at night. The power had been restored, but the lights stayed off. Steve came in first and saw that there was a faint light coming from the living room. He went to check it out with Bruce and Bucky.

They saw your laptop playing one of your favorite movies, and you two on the couch. You had your head resting on Tony’s shoulder with your hand over the arc reactor; His arms were protectively wrapped around your waist. You two had never looked more peaceful than in this moment.

Bruce quietly took out his phone and snapped a picture of the two of you. Steve and Bucky threw him questioning glances.

“I know Tony. He’ll hate me for a few minutes when I show him these, but then he will take my phone and send them to himself so he can look back on them. He’ll think they’re cute. Trust me.”

The three men turned and went to their respective rooms to shower and rest after the mission. You and Tony slept soundly on the couch. The two of you in total content in each other's arms. You had never felt as safe and okay as you do now, and you never wanted to go back to a life without this much Tony.