#whenever someone says tabs wants to be a doctor im sure shes gonna make it hahahahahaa
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#i cant keep doing this#every time someone congratulates me on getting into med school i stare at them for a good 3 seconds before i process that i am in fact#going to med school#like wah?#and ive been going to first aid workshops and stuff like that and im still not processing#for years this had been like one of those unachievable things that sometimes i daydream about and laugh at#whenever someone says tabs wants to be a doctor im sure shes gonna make it hahahahahaa#like sarcastically cuz i seem like an idiot (and i am an idiot most of the time really)#and everyone was so shocked i got in AND with a 75% scholarship especially my parents#like my dad when i called him to tell him my score for the national exams#he screamed in my ear and told me to check that i didnt read someone elses score with a similar name#but honestly i think the person most shocked is me#i thought i didnt do that well in the exam#and im kinda terrified cuz i feel like im not at the same level as these other students#they seem way smarter and more ambitious than me#and im lazy and kinda unmotivated#but i want to do well#but also i kinda just wanna give up on everything and just go study modern art in germany lol#this was so long lmao if youve read this im sorry#nobodys gonna read it anyways lmao#ramblings
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