#whenever i get the urge to draw people when i often can't actually draw people

[bharv]

Answering my own reading questions!

because I can! feel free to do these as asks or just fill them out I'm a nosy bitch.

How many BG3 fics did you subscribe to or bookmark on A03 in 2023?

22 bookmarks and 9 new authors subbed to! There's been so much great stuff out there.

Did you have a favourite canon character to read?

I love a good Gale fic, but actually it's default Durge, if that counts. If not, Gortash.

Do you have a favourite OC of somebody else's that you fell in love with this year?

Oof, a tough one but I've gotta say that I love @mordymord's Labrys and @popiellart's Wormwood like AIR. Both have some similar traits in a lot of ways, being lean, clever demigods, but both are also so distinct. I don't think I've read any other characters like them. There's SO many good Durges but I fell for both of these fic-first.

Which fic that you've read has been the most popular?

Probably @aliquistis' excellent Gale/Tav fic Witch Ways, which has one of my other favourite OCs. Echo is excellent, and the fic is SO well done. No wonder it has 25k hits!

Which fic has been your hidden gem that you think deserves a wider readership?

I can't choose one, so have three: I'm coming around all of your houses with print outs of Intimate Connection by @plethomacademia because it deserves a HUGE readership. I think Concentration (a moment's silence) by @smoreofbabylon (and all of 'smore's fics) are just excellent. And please, read @des-no9 the one who bleeds, it's fucking beautiful.

Was there a fic you read that was completely out of your comfort zone, but you absolutely loved?

Loook I'm not a monsterfucker but. Also! I'd say that Subjugation by @say-lene is not my usual dynamic but I ADORED it. And I loved Voyeur which again was not something I'd ordinarily reach for but I think @rowanisawriter is SUCH a talented writer, I gobble up everything.

Is there a piece of description from a fic that you particularly loved?

this from FIRE WALK WITH ME by @todderwodders

Enver suspects his parents do not fully appreciate that she is a middleman. Her eyes, wine dark as they were, and her fine, perfectly kept curls may be charming, but there is an air of servant that comes clear as she speaks in winding language that seems intent on sewing confusion. No patriar or lord would sit down to a cobbler’s dinner. No patriar or lord would deny themselves a drink, or read paperwork aloud to lay people. This wine dark woman is a warlock, and he roughly knows the vague mechanics of warlocks in the makings of a deal with someone of more importance and as a result benefiting in magic and boons. That she should be as she is makes a kind of sense, then. That interests him, draws him in, even as his mother has that glazed look she always gets when she only half cares to listen to what people say to her. She has counted and recounted coin, measuring and remeasuring where it is all meant to go on her abacus. Sometimes he suspects her mind wanders without permission if she is not kept busy. Often, she comes back to the present sharply, eager to needle endlessly over past slights or gossip, over the current conversation. He wants to explain things to her in a clearer way that she will listen to, to ask questions of this dedicated warlock where she numbly nods along. 

Is there a piece of dialogue from a fic that has stayed with you?

Listen I sometimes find myself doing everyday life things and stopping and thinking about this exchange from The Dark Urge sleeps alone by @popiellart

"You remind me of my sister."

"What's a sister?" Lae'zel demands breathily, and drops her hips down, spearing herself on him without hesitation, drawing a desirous, possessive growl from his draconic muzzle.

His eyes, half-lidded with hunger, have that foggy, far-away look that vexes others, but she doesn't mind.

He is living, yawning death on the battlefield, his scales turning regal crimson whenever he's bathed in blood, and when he violently grips her and slams her down on the crumbling altar, bruising her back and cracking this font of worship to some dusty, dead god with the roaring fire of their living, he is a dragon red enough for her.

"I don't know," he admits, finally. "Something sharp, I think."

What was your overall most read type of fic in 2023? Were there tropes you particularly loved? A pairing that you adored?

Dark as shit Dark Urge fic. GOD the fandom has just taken all of the little strands given by Larian and run with them. The endless invention, expression, interpretation of the fans has been extraordinary. I love you guys. Never change. Keep weird.

What would you like to read in 2024 if you could wave a wand and get exactly what you wanted?

More Jaheira/Halsin. Just ANYTHING I am desperate for more of this.

Something with Wyll/Karlach which is very, very sexy and very queer. Top Karlach! More t4t!

More Gale/Lae'zel that reaaaally leans into her alien qualities honestly. I love this ship and might start writing it.

Filthy, filthy Ketheric stuff. FUCK THAT MAN TO DUST.

[bound-writings]

I know I requested one already, but your writing is so unbearably cute and fluffy I can't help it 💖. How about Earl Grey and Milk tea with Tsukasa? ^-^

yes of course! i love tsukasa! literally read a yandere tsukasa fic this morning and im scared. so here is FLUFFFFFFF

Tsukasa - Earl Grey and Milk Tea

earl grey tea; how did they court their s/o?

Tsukasa is quite far from being the most normal ghost in the world, so his methods are not really the norm either. But hey, depending on what kind of person you are, you might actually find his acts of love endearing! Tsukasa’s idea of courting is “hey I’m gonna be around you nonstop 24/7 without giving you any personal space because I love you too much and I can’t let any other guy even come within a foot radius of you!” So you’re going to have to be able to put up for this kind of behavior for the entire relationship because that’s just the kind of boy Tsukasa is.

As said, even before Tsukasa liked you romantically he was always somehow hovering near you, but boy when he realizes he likes you a lot more than he does with normal people, he’s clinging onto you forever. Whenever you ask him why he’s so clingy to you, of all people, he’ll just grin and say something cheesy like “My (Nickname)-chan is just too interesting to be apart from!” Yes, he calls you his without your permission. Yes, that’s Tsukasa for you. He often just whisks you off into the broadcasting room so you two can just be alone.

Tsukasa also tends to threaten anyone whose even the slightest bit rude to you, (it’s kinda hard when most people can’t see him, but you bet that person is not gonna have a fun week.) This includes Natsuhiko, who has tried flirting with you and has almost end up being killed by Tsukasa. Yeah… Tsukasa is pretty extreme. But! Take it as a sign that he cares enough about you that he wants to stand up for you and protect you. It’s just how Tsukasa works okay? Love the feral babey-

After observing the couples of the school he likes to steal random knickknacks and objects to give to you as presents. Apparently humans like when someone they cherish gives them a gift, he’s learned. So prepared to be almost bombarded by the most random shit you’ve ever received. Sometimes on your desk, you would find some cutely decorated pencils or something along those lines and you would automatically know how they got there. Tsukasa.

Once he put his hat on you because he was bored and like?? Your cuteness intensified x1000 when you have to keep adjusting the hat because it’s too big and it’s covering your eyes?? He was HOOKED. Tsukasa is so obvious with his affection that anyone who sees you two would logically assume that y’all are in a relationship… but you’re not (yet.) Even you can put two and two together.

Sakura ends up being the one to set y’all up. As stoic as ever, she urges Tsukasa to actually say something to you instead of glomping you because just maybe someone might steal you away.

 Tsukasa: *serious mode activated*

Sakura also tells you that you need to do something if you really love Tsukasa as well because he has never declared his love before and highly doubts he’d make the first move. Yeah, so for the next for days Tsukasa is just gonna be smiling at you creepily and you’re just there awkwardly wondering how you’re gonna pull this off.You’ve made up your mind. You’re going to tell him. But at what price??

You’re standing at the entrance of the broadcasting room, nervously glancing at Tsukasa who is somehow by himself. You call his name and his head swerves in your direction.

“Ah~ (Name)-chan, (Name)-chan! I was just thinking about you~” he gleefully cheers, immediately swirling towards you in delight.

“S-stop where you are, Tsuka!” you squeal, hiding behind the doorframe. Tsukasa surprisingly stopped, and with a childlike innocence pointed at himself.

“Me,  (Name)-chan?” Quite frankly, he was surprised, as you had never rejected his advances before.

“Y-yes! I have a very important question to ask!”

“Hmm?” he tilted his head to the side almost adorably, making your heart combust as you nervously drummed your fingertips against the wood.

This was it. If he says no, then no problem. Just run down the hallway as fast as you could and never ever come back here again. No sweat.

“I just wanted to ask… i-if, maybe you’d like to go out with me?? Because,” you fumbled with your words, “I like you a lot! M-maybe even love you-” you were cut off as something came flying towards you and your back hit the wall.

“Wah~! (Name)-chan, who knew that you had it in you to be so bold~” Tsukasa giggled as he laid in your lap, hands laid on your chest. “If you wanted to be mine, you should have asked sooner my darling~”

You released a sigh of relief. “So it’s a yes then?” you perked up happily.

“Mhm! And now that you’re mine forever… I’m never letting you go.”

milk tea; what are their kisses like?

No matter where Tsukasa kisses you, he’s always in control. He is always the dominant one, and it’s highly unlikely that he would relinquish control (yandere tendencies showing through..) Tsukasa’s the kind of ghost whose trying to kiss you every minute, literally, he cannot get enough of your soft and sweet lips on his… like if he’s not stabbing people he’s kissing you.

I know Tsukasa might look like 😈but sometimes his kisses can actually be 🥰! You are the only person Tsukasa can be just a little bit soft around, so why can’t his kisses be soft sometimes? You can just imagine when the little rat just kisses you softly on your lips, catching you off guard at the sheer sweetness. It ends too fast to your dismay, and you’re lost in your own little world until Tsukasa’s whine snaps you out of your daze, as his hand grabs yours and pulls you to your feet. Like?? Was that Tsukasa who kissed you just now??

Of course, let’s not forget about the forever possessive side of our boy. His kisses can be rough and sometimes he likes to bit your lip hard enough to draw blood and then lick it off of you. This is Tsukasa we are dealing with so it is bound to get a little steamy (that mf pervert.) Sometimes Tsukasa also likes to do tongue kisses 😳just to tease and fluster you. He has no shame or boundaries, he will literally do any kind of kiss.

Tsukasa likes to come up behind you and whisper in your ear huskily, as he leaves butterfly kisses down your neck. It’s all good until you start screaming in shock and he’s just left there confused at why you’re scared. Multiple times he has kissed you too hard and you have ended up with some kind of bruise on the spot. Pray that it’s not your lips where the bruise is because it’s not the best when other students are looking at you funny and Natsuhiko is giving you the wiggly eyebrows.

His kisses get 1000 times more intense when he’s jealous, especially when he sees someone flirting with you. Tsukasa can be downright terrifying sometimes (I still love him though) so whenever he’s in one of those moods you can definitely feel the possessiveness when you kiss him. Tsukasa will kiss you whenever and wherever he wants, even if Sakura and Natsuhiko are in the room (which ends up pretty awkward with Tsukasa wondering what he did wrong.) Of course, there is no such thing as personal space with this boy so your bodies will literally be pressed up against each other while kissing. 

Yea, being with Tsukasa is a whirlwind of emotions.

[jisungsmochi]

the coffee shop boy - njm

new coffee shop employee! jaemin / little rivalry b/w reader x jaemin hehe / just lots of teasing eachother and some fluff too 

some references to my jeno imagine for my nct dream job au series! 

link to my masterlist so you can read the others! 

a/n: inspired by katie & aiden’s story in ‘alexa & katie’ on netflix! pls stream it hehe 

word count: 3.9k - hope you all enjoy :) 

//

the first time you met na jaemin was in front of the cafe you worked at. your manager was running a donation drive where customers could donate toys or books for the local children’s hospital. you offered to bake complementary cookies for each person who donated. so there you were, standing outside the cafe, handing out cookies. you swore you turned away for one second, when you heard someone halt infront of the stand. the person swiftly grabbed a handful of cookies, shoving one into their mouth. you turn back around, glaring at the clueless boy infront of you.

“excuse me! those are only for people who have donated” you sternly informed, the boy still not having any sign of regret,

“my bad, i just see free cookies” he smirked, taking another bite of one. you reached to grab the others that were in his hands, but he ended up pulling away before you could reach him. you felt your body tip over the table, the plate of cookies and some donations, falling onto the ground. you loudly groan to yourself, quickly standing up and brushing off any dirt on your apron. your manager, doyoung, immediately rushed outside and to his dismay, he only saw you and a broken table with cookies scattered everywhere. the mysterious boy just took off, what an asshole.

“y/n, clean this up, now” doyoung orders, as you nod. you hoped that boy never came anywhere near the cafe ever again, or you might as well just lose it entirely.  

“and then, he grabbed the cookies and took off! if i ever see him again i want to give him a piece of my mind” you rant as your friend lia listens carefully. you were both eating lunch at a random restaurant she had heard about.

“he sounds like a dick” lia shakes her head in disappointment as you both chew on your fries.

“i know right! and now doyoung thinks i’m incapable of being assistant manager” you grunt, frustrated at the events of the day prior.

“don’t be so negative! you are a loyal employee and you are good at your job. you’ll get promoted soon, i’m sure of it” lia gives your an assuring smile, as you nod along with her. you were glad to have her by your side whenever you would rant like this, it helped you not completely lose it.

“hey! cookie girl!” you heard a sudden voice echo through the restaurant. both you and lia turned to the voice calling you, only to be met with the boy from yesterday.

“you’ve got to be kidding me” you groaned, putting on a small, fake smile to greet to boy.

“fancy seeing you here, stalking me now right?” he chuckled to himself, approaching your table. lia looked over at you with a ‘what the hell?’ expression, you just widened your eyes, unsure of how to respond to either of them.

“whatever helps you sleep at night” you respond, as jaemin just smirks.

“sorry about the cookies by the way. don’t get offended but, they weren’t that good to begin with” he slyly poked at you. you wanted to give him a good lecture about how hard you worked on those damn cookies but you noticed how lia was getting concerned about your next moves. you took a deep breath before giving the boy another blunt answer,

“you’re entitled to your own wrong opinion. now may you please leave me and my friend alone?” you just shot another fake smile, as jaemin couldn’t take his eyes off you. you started feeling repulsed by just his gaze, why did he have to stare for such long periods of time?

“sure thing, see you around” he winks before heading out of the restaurant.

“who the hell was that? is he the cookie thief?!” lia’s mouth was agape as you nodded.

“he was indeed. i just want to wipe that grin off his face!” you cross your arms in frustration. lia just rolls her eyes,

“he’s kinda cute, don’t you think?” she starts to wiggle her eyebrows as you throw a fry at her.

“you have a boyfriend!” you begin to tease as she starts blushing,

“jeno doesn’t need to know” she jokes as you both begin laughing.

(a/n: yes the jeno here is from the bubble tea girl au hehe) 

you were happy that lia had a boyfriend, but it often made you feel distant from her. you felt like you couldn’t ask her to hang out as much, incase she had plans with jeno. you knew that she would have dropped everything to hang out with you, but you still felt guilty if she ditched jeno like that. you wished that you had a boyfriend of your own, so you could hang out all together without the awkward third wheel vibe. but that was a long shot for you, or so you thought.

//

it had been a solid two weeks since that interaction with jaemin, in which you still didn't know his name yet. after constant hassling, doyoung promoted you to assistant manager.

"we have a new employee coming in today, i need you to train him" doyoung orders as you nod in agreement.

"never fear! i'll teach him everything in my barista 101 guide!" you smile, pulling out a pastel green notebook with random coloured tabs sticking out of it.

"i didn't ask, but you do you" doyoung shrugs, patting your shoulder before heading to the back room. doyoung always picked on you, but you were sure, you were his favourite employee.

you were fixing up any last notes in your guide, when you heard the bell above the door ring. you set everything aside, ready to take the next order. you look up, eyes meeting those of the boy you never wanted to see again.

"you" you huff out, eyes immediately glaring, face now stone cold.

"me" jaemin smiled widely, walking up to the counter, leaning his elbows on the top of it.

"fall on any more tables yet?" he chuckled to himself as you mimicked his words, turning away from him to continue writing in your book. he had some nerve teasing you like that.

"y/n, what are you doing? this is jaemin, the new employee" doyoung bursted out of the backroom, standing behind you. you instantly froze, looking over to jaemin who was now standing up straight with his arms crossed over his chest. he had bright blue hair, a blue denim jacket on, and that damn smirk of his plastered on his face. you couldn't stop glaring, slowing moving to face jaemin and doyoung.

"just train him well okay? i don't want to have to deal with any mess in here" doyoung sighed, walking away from the both of you. jaemin had his eyes fixed on you.

"you know just cause you're cute and all, doesn't mean this job is going to be easy" you muttered as you dig behind the counter to find jaemin a spare apron.

"oh so you think i'm cute?" you could hear the flirtatious tone leaving his mouth. you shot up from behind the counter and threw the apron forcefully at his face. to your displeasure, he ended up catching it before it could hit him. jaemin tied the apron on himself, meeting you behind the counter.

"let's get started shall we. i have written pretty much everything you need to learn in this book right here! it's a beginner's guide, with all my best tips and tricks so i-" you were interrupted by jaemin fiddling with the coffee machine, not paying attention to a single word that left your mouth. you groaned in annoyance, watching as he handed you the cup of coffee he had just made.

"try it" he urged you, observing your every move. you cautiously look at him and then at the cup in your hands. you didn't want to admit it, but it looked and smelled pretty good. you slowly took a sip of the warm drink, eyes avoiding those of jaemin. you hated to compliment him, but the boy had some skills. you felt jaemin's eyes on you, ready for your verdict.

"it's alright i guess" you sigh, trying to play off how impressed you were. jaemin just chuckled, knowing he was already doing a good job.

"i don't need that little book of yours, i think i'm just about perfect" you rolled your eyes at the taller boy, giving him a small slap on the shoulder.

"get to work buddy, tables need some wiping and coffees need to be made" you made your way to the cash register, beginning to take orders as customers entered the shop. jaemin couldn't help but shake his head at your bossy persona. he found it entertaining, but also quite enticing. he couldn't wait to work with you more.

//

weeks had passed since jaemin started working at the coffee shop. he never asked for any of your help, making you quite frustrated that he wouldn't even listen to a single piece of advice you had. it's as if your authority as assistant manager and his trainer, was thrown out the window. you were getting ready to start your shift, noticing jaemin drawing something on the front window with some paint pens.

"what the hell are you doing? doyoung hates it when we mess with the window art!" you nag at the blue haired boy. jaemin just rolls his eyes, turning back at you,

"can you like stop nagging me for one minute?" he responds, continuing to draw on the window. you let out a small huff, and as if on cue, doyoung approaches both of you.

"ooo you're in troubleee" you slyly mutter, waiting for the scene to unfold. jaemin turns to face doyoung, who at first didn't say a word.

"jaemin, i didn't give you permission to do this" doyoung started, you felt yourself perk up at the possibility of jaemin getting scolded.

"but i was kind of wanting a new design anyway, your doodles are quite nice actually. keep it up" doyoung smiles, looking over at your pissed off expression. he just pats your shoulder before heading off to do business of his own.

"you can't bust me, sweetie. i'm just that good" jaemin walks closer to you, backing your up against the counter.

"you are so infuriating" you grunt through your teeth, eyes meeting jaemin’s. he had a slight kindness in his eyes. as if he was pleading for you to not to be so mad at him. jaemin chuckled softly,

"you're gonna just have to deal with it then" he leaves you stunned as he walked behind the counter, starting to take orders.

was he always this handsome?

you shook your head from your thoughts, na jaemin was utterly unbearable to be around, so why couldn't you stop thinking about him?

//

"you know what he did the other day?" you begin another rant, this time lia and jeno were your audience.

"what did he do?" lia played along, looking over at jeno who was invested in your story.

"so, you know suzy? the dreaded middle aged woman who always complains about her coffee having too much sugar? yeah well, jaemin served her the other day and she complimented him! right infront of me!" you started to pout. lia started giggling causing jeno to start giggling as well.

"what's so funny?" you furrow your eyebrows at the couple.

"doesn't sound like you hate him all that much to me" jeno smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at you. you just give him a scowl in return.

"no you see jeno, y/n hides her feelings for jaemin through all this teasing, and so does he. it’s adorable" lia commented, causing you to know scowl at her.

"you guys are being ridiculous! he is so infuriating, no one can be that perfect at making coffees? especially a beginner anyway" you continue being stubborn as your friends just roll their eyes, already convinced you were in complete and utter denial.

you went home that day, thinking back to the times you felt yourself stare a bit too long at jaemin. he was so charismatic, he could practically charm any person who entered the shop. he had doyoung, the most stone cold person you had met, wrapped around his finger. he was the perfect barista, and could even do coffee art. you envied how good he was, considering it took you months to perfect your own skills. you knew that hating jaemin wasn't the way to handle this whole situation, but it was much easier than having him know that you sort of liked him.

//

you were writing down stuff in your weekly planner, it helped you stay organised with your daily tasks so you knew you wouldn’t forget anything. well, except your pastel green notebook. you swore you had left it at work, but for the past week you hadn’t been able to find it. you were slowly starting to accept that you lost it, and all your hard work over the past 6 months was for nothing. you let a soft groan, finishing up your final sentence, as you heard the boy next to you clear his throat.

“may i help you?” you move your head to face him, not realising he was already inches close to you. you immediately froze, unsure of what to do next.

“you’re slacking off, i can’t make all these coffees on my own”  jaemin smirked, like he had many times before but this time, you couldn’t help but admire how handsome he was up close.

“i- well uh, yeah sorry” you stuttered, pulling away from the boy. jaemin just sighed, he didn’t understand why it was so hard to talk to you. he wanted to get close to you, possibly even ask you out, but your repeated attempts to ignore him during your shifts together had deflated his confidence. you caught yourself glancing over at him multiple times during work, watching how he interacted so kindly with customers and somehow always kept his composure when being lectured by doyoung.

you were about to close up, making sure to double check that the bathrooms were clean. as you made your way back to the counter, you caught jaemin in the act. he was reading from your notebook. the one you thought you had lost. he didn’t see you approaching, making it an even better bust.

“AHA! i knew it! you read my book” you exclaimed, catching the boy off guard, causing him to fall into his butt. you couldn’t help but laugh at his exaggerated reaction, before helping him from behind the counter.

“it’s not what it looks like” he just sighs, knowing he had already been caught.

“oh really? cause it looks like you were reading my book, and have possibly been following every single piece of advice in it” you continued to tease, a bright smile plastered on your face. jaemin couldn’t help but crack a smile back at you, nodding in defeat.

“yes okay, i read your book. it helped a lot! is that what you wanna hear?” jaemin could feel the redness flush his cheeks and the tops of his ears. you couldn’t help but gush over how hilarious the situation was.

“and here i was, thinking you were a barista prodigy! well na jaemin, you just got schooled!” you started getting up in his face, watching as the taller boy just shook his head at your incredibly quirky antics. he found you adorable, not that he would admit it anytime soon.

from that day onwards, you and jaemin bickered less. of course you’d still poke fun at him now and then for initially taking your book, but it was all fun and games.

“y/n look!” you heard him call, as you were both closing up that night. jaemin had smeared on a foam moustache on his face, attempting to make you laugh. you just threw a dirty towel at him, rolling your eyes at us childish antics.

“god you’re such a loser” you smile softly, removing your apron. jaemin wipes off the foam, placing the towel away, before removing his own apron.

“you know, i think that all this teasing from you, is really a way for you to hide how much you like me” his words made you freeze. you didn’t want to face him. you weren’t sure if he was kidding or not, so you opted to just crack another witty comment, to avoid any more awkwardness.

“in your dreams, i do it because you’re just easy to make fun of. it’s what friends do” you shrug, looking over at the blue haired boy. you were expecting atleast a small smile to come from jaemin, but instead, he had an unreadable expression. he approached you slowly, causing you to shuffle backwards, your back now pressing against one of the cupboards behind the counter. jaemin places his right hand next to your head, leaning closer to you. you felt your breath hitch as he stared into your eyes. jaemin didn’t want to keep beating around the bush, he needed to know how you felt, and soon.

“ so you’re telling me, we are just friends?” he mumbles, quiet enough for only you to hear. you could practically feel him begging for you to deny it, but your heart wasn’t sure if you were completely in it. of course you found jaemin attractive, who wouldn’t? but to be in a relationship or even start something more than a friendship, with anyone was a huge step for you. you had never had a boyfriend before, and watching your friends experience immense heartbreaks in the past, made you unsure of your own experiences.

“y-yeah jaemin, we’re just friends” you whisper, watching as jaemin’s face softens. you didn’t know if he was upset, hurt, or both. but you knew something was off. jaemin just nodded, packing up his things.

“have a nice night, y/n” jaemin gave you a small wave before exiting the coffee shop. you felt your heart tighten, what the hell was he doing to you?

//

“y/n, i’m your best friend and all, but you’re an idiot. jaemin clearly likes you and you have just ruined your chances!” lia sighs, comforting you the next day. you just nod, knowing everything she said was true.

“i know i messed up. i just don’t want to get his hopes up if i’m a shit girlfriend or something” you worry, unsure whether you could really show jaemin the appreciation as love he deserved.

“stop being so afraid! don’t stay sheltered! if you like him, you should tell him. you deserve to be in a happy relationship, never doubt that” lia pulls you in for a long hug and you begin t think about what you wanted to say to jaemin, the next time you saw him. you knew she was right. if you didn’t confess soon, it would eat at you inside about what could have been. it was time to take a chance.

//

at your next shift at the coffee shop, jaemin came in late. he apologised to doyoung who didn’t mind, as today was fairly slow. he would usually shoot a witty comment at you before he started making drinks, but today he just gave you a small smile without a single word. your heart clenched at how he was acting. but you knew exactly why he was doing it. you wanted to wait until closing time, to properly talk with jaemin. but you couldn’t help but notice how down he looked whilst he was serving customers. it really must have affected him a lot. you tried to talk to him during your shift, standing next to him as he was making a drink.

“h-hey, how are you?” you tried to start, watching as jaemin halts his movements. he turned his head to face you, the expression was unreadable. jaemin knew he was being petty for giving you the cold shoulder. it wasn’t like he could have forced you to like him back, especially since he hadn’t properly right out confessed to you.

“i-i’m alright, and you?” he tried to act as normal and nonchalant as possible.

“i’m okay i guess” you mumble, unsure of how to continue. you were thankful that jaemin had to serve more customers, cutting your conversation short.

you waited for the clock to strike 9:30pm, as it was time to start closing up. doyoung tossed you the keys before he finished his shift earlier that day, leaving both you and jaemin to pack up together. jaemin had finished cleaning the bathrooms and all the tables as you worked on the countertops and back area. you made eye contact with him from across the room. he looked so solemn, as if he would rather be anywhere else but here with you. you sighed to yourself, knowing what was on his mind. you approached the blue haired boy slowly. he watched your every move, his heart beat increasing with every step you took.

“i lied” you blurt out as his eyes furrowed, confused at your words.

“when you asked me if i thought we were just friends. i lied. i don’t think of you as just a friend, jaemin. i-i think of you as something more” you avoid his eyes, watching as he sets down the dirty towels onto the nearest table. he pulls your chin up with his fingers, making sure you were looking at him directly.

“why didn’t you just say so?” he had that cocky smirk on again, which would have drove you nuts before, but now you found really attractive.

“i was in denial, okay? i didn’t know if you really liked me back or not and i guess i was just scared about what to do next” you admitted, as jaemin’s lips formed a small pout.

“you drive me crazy” jaemin smiled, cupping the side of your face with his left hand, softly caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“well so do you” you mumbled while blushing.

“just so you can hear me say it, i like you too. kinda have been trying to drop hints. you’re completely oblivious” he playfully teased, causing you to give him a small shove. you couldn’t help but smile at him as he pulled your face closer to his with both his hands on your cheeks. you move your hands to wrap around his neck, watching as his smile widened.

“bold move there” he muttered, lips brushing briefly over yours.

“can you just kiss me already?” you whine, which made jaemin’s heart burst. he nodded eagerly before connecting your lips with his. he moved one hand to grab your waist and the other was left caressing your cheek. you couldn’t believe you were kissing the same guy who stole your cookies months ago.

jaemin suddenly pulls away, mumbling,

“i knew you’d fall for me, i mean i am a catch”

“you really know how to ruin a moment don’t you?” you pull away from his completely, letting his take his hand in yours.

“yeah but we have a lot of time to have more moments, won’t we?” jaemin pulls you to his side,

“we sure will” you smile up at him, leaning in for another kiss when you were interrupted by a familiar voice,

“i freaking knew it! you two better not do this lovey dovey stuff during your shift otherwise i’m firing one of you” doyoung warmed as you both burst into laughter.

you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into with jaemin. but that was the thrill of it all. he was constantly surprising you with new things about himself. you completely adored him, as he did with you. you realised it was okay to let yourself be vulnerable, you never know what you could get out of it.

a/n: ahhh i loved writing this one! let me know if there were any mistakes! x 

[phoebe-does]

Phoebe, how do you deal with stress? >-

i actually studied stress and coping this term in psychology so i’ll break down the techniques i learnt but way way simpler and only the things i actually felt were useful so i don’t overwhelm you

1. how you think about the stress and your mindset- so how you actually interpret any stressor (the thing causing you stress) is actually pretty much 100% up to you! to help eliminate stress, the first step is to get out a journal or just do some meditation and sort out whether this stressor is actually an issue or not. You can do this by saying all the things that could go wrong and everything you would no in response to help re-affirm that the worst that could happen isn’t that bad. Feeling like you have some control over the stressor is really important!- optimism is actually REALLY helpful to mitigating stress, just keeping an open mindset over the outcome and being positive

2. coping and behavioural methods- social coping- having a good social support network is ESSENTIAL! make sure you’re using this! talk to ppl and do it often, tell people about how you’re feeling and get some cuddles if you need it! Cry!! it’s such a relief to just talk about things with ppl. But even everyday interactions like going out to a cafe and talking briefly to the cashier is helpful! feel connected and do this often!-some healthy coping mechanisms when used correctly are - exercise, good sleep patterns and healthy eating. But it also includes, journalling, drawing. Figure out whether to cope in this situation you need to distract yourself or directly face the stressor and go forth! 

- on the sleep topic (make sure you are doing nothing in your bedroom other than sleep, yes i’m serious. Especially don’t do anything stressful. Whenever you enter your room, you want to be getting sleepy straight away. It’s like how whenever you enter the bathroom you feel an urge to pee! It’s forming the association so that straight away when you get into bed, you’re zonked!- also don’t do anything too close to bed and start dimming the lights EARLY!

my last piece of advice on sleep, considering i’ve had sleep issues for YEARS because of sleep apnea which is worsened when stressed and currently see a sleep pathologist is to MEDITATE! yup, you heard me. Every night before bed for just 10 minutes, 15 or 20 if you want to, sit on the floor in front of your bed (never meditate in bed) and just focus on your breath and calming down, reaffirming that you’ve done all you can for the moment and all you can do for now is sleep.

[tahlreth]

Brand new neighbours au prompt for winteriron, Where Bucky is smitten with Tony but Tony is oblivious, always in a hurry to reach college and complete his work. And can we have a worried Maria Stark who fusses over Tony and teaches Howard a lesson when he acts nonchalant. Steve finds it all very hilarious. Because he just can't get over his best friend's face whenever he talks about Tony. Happy ending.

AN: It took me like, a year, but I finally did it. XD

"Steve." Only a grunt answered him, so Bucky reached out to give his shoulder a good smack. "Steve."

"I don't care."

"Stevie-"

"I don't care, Buck. I don't care what he's doing or what he's wearing or any of that. I have to get this piece done. You can tell me aaaaall about the day in the life of your crush when I finish, okay?"

"But Stevie. He's trying to do dishes again." Deadline or no, Steve practically threw his sketchbook away and turned on the couch to kneel next to Bucky. Across the way, easily seen through the big open windows of their neighbor's kitchen, they could see Tony. Not that they'd ever been introduced - the only reason Bucky knew his name was because he'd heard the guy's mom say it about twenty times in her lecture on how to be an adult before she'd tearfully left him on his own. The lesson hadn't stuck apparently, because every time the guy tried to do something even a little domestic, it tended to end in catastrophe.

He had lost power three times that Bucky had noticed - because the lights were usually on all night, so the sudden turning off of ALL of them had been a pretty big hint. Not because he was like, a stalker or a peeping Tom or anything. Anyway. The plumber's van had been parked outside maybe five times, and the cops had come around seven times because Tony had forgotten to turn off his alarm system after walking into his house. There'd been two nights when Bucky'd woken up because of screeching alarms of approaching firetrucks - each time his heart had pounded with fear until Tony wandered out into the suddenly-bright night looking both irritated and sooty. Bucky didn't know about the rest of the house, but his view into Tony's kitchen was really good, and he'd seen the man wander away in the middle of cooking dinner only to run back in an hour later to find it reduced to charcoal. He'd seen the guy sweep half the room before suddenly zipping away, tripping over the dropped broom when he finally wandered back. Tony had flooded the kitchen ten times because he didn't know how to use the dishwasher properly and seemed to have some sort of moral objection to doing them by hand.

Tony'd moved in two weeks ago.

Their quiet little street had never been livelier, and Bucky'd been smitten since the first time he'd laid eyes on Tony. He was... well. Beautiful was the only word for it, much as Steve teased him for using the term. He wanted to bury his hands in Tony's brown hair - it looked thick and luxurious, when it wasn't smeared with what Bucky suspected might be engine oil. He'd love to wrap his arms around Tony and draw him in close, because he was pretty sure the guy was exactly the right height for Bucky to rest his chin on his head. It'd be great to be able to listen to Tony's warm, excited babbling about... well, anything really. Tony had a voice to die for. Maybe his facial hair was a bit... odd looking, but it was growing in, Steve, and it would look amazing once it had finished. And yeah, okay, his clothes were always a bit on the shabby side and streaked with oil and grease and sometimes paint, but that was okay. Bucky's wardrobe hadn't been the best when he'd first been starting out either.

Tony always seemed to be in a hurry, dashing here and there with all the grace of a gazelle. Every once in a while (Bucky'd tried timing it, but Tony was too unpredictable) they met in their respective walkways - Tony was almost always on the way out, and did little more than wave and give a cheerful 'hey'. Bucky almost never even got a return greeting out, but that was mostly because his mouth would go dry and his heart would pound and he forgot 'how to language', and he hated Steve for taking a picture of his 'Tony Face' and captioning it with that dumb quote and sending it to all their friends. During those brief exchanges, Bucky sometimes saw little abrasions and burns on his hands and arms - Tony must work with his hands, which as a mechanic was something Bucky respected. He still wanted to soothe those little hurts with soft kisses and gentle touches, and that wasn't creepy no matter what Steve said. The urge to bite and lick at Tony's plump lips probably edged closer to creep-like behavior, but it wasn't all Bucky wanted. He wanted to talk to Tony and get to know him, wanted to spend hours wrapped up like blanket burritos and watching crappy movies. It'd be nice to walk down the street hand in hand, and yeah, he'd like to take Tony out on the town and go dancing or some shit like that.

Steve said he was getting sentimental in his 'old age'. Bucky thought Steve should shut his big mouth and make nice with their beautiful neighbor and then invite him over for beer and video games. It wasn't that he was scared to talk to Tony, exactly. It was just that his body started doing all kinds of weird things when he tried, and Bucky wasn't so good with people anyway. It would really be better if Steve eased his way. The big blond jerk was a like a golden retriever - anyone who didn't like him was probably dead inside or straight up evil. They hadn't ever talked, but Bucky was pretty sure Tony wasn't either, so that would be for the best.

If stupid Steve would just agree to his plan, they might be dating already. Instead, his cruel best friend had declared Bucky's plight hilarious and wouldn't do anything that would put him out of his misery either way. Oh, he let Bucky go on and on (and on and on) about Tony, didn't tell him that watching the guy in the kitchen was bordering on stalker-ish (often) and even helped Bucky plan out how he would approach Tony (because he knew Bucky would never follow through). But he wouldn't actually help, the fucker.

Usually he didn't watch through the window either, but Tony trying to get the dishwasher to work was something else. First came the loading of the dishes, which took anywhere between ten minutes and an hour, depending on the number of dishes and how many times Tony wandered away out of boredom or distraction. Then came a moment of quiet reflection as Tony contemplated the order of the loaded washer, and Bucky swore that sometimes when Tony got on his phone at this point in the process he was trying to figure out if he'd done it right.

Then there came the saddest part - the adding of the dishsoap.

Tony couldn't be an idiot, because Bucky didn't like them dumb, but he did seem to be impatient - he was always in such a hurry. So part of his brain seemed to have decided that if he added more soap, the dishes would get done faster. That hypothesis never, ever worked out in his favor, but Bucky couldn't fault him for continuing to try. He didn't just do the same thing over and over either - he would try different soaps, or multiple kinds, or any number of small adjustments. Then, when the inevitable happened, he'd start ranting and raving at the machine, covered in soap suds and gesturing wildly. Once Bucky had seen him storm back into the kitchen the next day with tools, probably ready to take apart or maybe rewire the dishwasher or something... but as Tony had gotten his tools out, a thought had clearly come to him. He paused, then packed his tools back up. The dishwasher remained intact, and Tony remained unable to get it to work properly.

Steve had come to appreciate the ritual as much as he did, and it was the only time he would deign to join in 'Tony Watching'. Strangely enough, Bucky didn't appreciate the company. At first it had been nice, having someone else realize just how entrancing Tony could be - once he made very sure that Steve wasn't interested in pursuing his guy, anyway. But Steve was starting to sometimes make dry, scathing comments about Tony, and Bucky didn't really like that either. It wasn't Tony's fault he was so bad at using the dishwasher. He was in college, just starting out - Bucky hadn't known his goddamned knee from his elbow when he'd first struck out on his own. Being an adult was weird and hard, and as he watched Tony carefully measuring out another mixture that was doomed to fail (God, he'd ripped open six different packets, what the hell was he thinking) Bucky came to a decision.

He'd had to figure out all the life shit on his own - Tony wouldn't need to.

"I'mma go help him." he announced, then swiftly hopped off the couch before his courage deserted him. Steve looked back over his shoulder, wearing a 'yeah, sure you are' look that made Bucky want to smack him. "No, really. He needs it, right? And I'm good with dishwashers. I'm great with dishwashers." He knew he was babbling a little, but he couldn't stop. If he stopped, he'd realize what he was doing and would freak out too much to tie his sneakers. "Aren't I great with dishwashers, Stevie?"

"Never had a complaint since I moved in."

"Right. So I can help with the dishwasher, because that is not how you use 'em." The right shoe was tied, but the left was putting up a hell of a fight - he had to try a few times before his shaking fingers made the knot properly. "And then I could maybe see if he needed help with anything else. I mean just, you know, to be neighborly. I'm-"

"Very neighborly," Steve chimed in, having abandoned the view from the window to watch Bucky instead. "I know Buck. You're the most neighborly neighbor I ever met."

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up Stevie. You stay here and make your little jokes and draw your little pictures," Steve made an indignant sound and hurled one of the throw pillows at him. Bucky knocked it aside with a smile that was a lot more confident than he felt. "I'm gonna go help a guy with a dishwasher, then get him to agree to date me. Just you watch, Stevie. I'mma go get me a boyfriend."

"Take your coat!" Steve yelled after him as Bucky jogged to the door. He knew what the blond really meant was 'good luck, I'm right behind you', so he grabbed his leather jacket as a sign that he appreciated the thought. He even tugged it on, because he had the vague thought that Tony might be into bad boys, which he hoped wasn't true. While he was cranky and a bit blunt, he didn't really qualify as bad.

Fuck, if Tony had a thing for bad boys, he was screwed. So screwed.

He didn't let that thought unnerve him entirely and threw himself out the door, slamming it behind him. It was really, really uncool of him, but Bucky ran all the way to Tony's, ignoring the calls of greeting he got from their other neighbors who were out enjoying the weather. He just had to get over to Tony's, NOW, because if he didn't he wouldn't ever, and he'd have to go live in Siberia out of shame. So focused on getting there as fast as he could, Bucky almost ran right into the door - he only just managed to bring himself to a screeching halt before he slammed against it.

"Okay," he breathed, staring at the intimidating barrier between him and happiness. "I got this. I can do this. He's just a guy, Bucky Barnes. Just a guy like you. Yeah he's the most beautiful guy you've ever seen, but it's fine." It occurred to him briefly that anyone watching probably thought he was a crazy person, but fuck them. He was about to put his heart on the line here, and a man needed a pep talk before that kind of thing. "You're good with dishwashers, which he clearly needs in his life, and you can help with all that other adult stuff while he's in school. You can do this. You can tell him that you want to go out on a date with him, but help him out even if he says no, because you are not that kind of prick. Okay. Okay." A breath, and then he moved on to his next pre-knocking conversation.

"Hey Tony. ... how do I know your name? Shit. Uhhh... Hey, my name's Bucky, I noticed you were home and... fuck. Don't make it sound like you been stalking him Barnes! ... hey. I'm Bucky, and I just haven't had a chance to welcome you to the neighborhood. Figured I'd do that now. ... Yeah. That works. That's good. Okay. Let's do this."

Knocking on Tony's door was the most nerve-wracking thing he'd ever done... at least until he had to stand there waiting for Tony to answer, fidgeting and fighting the urge to just bolt. "Hey, I'm Bucky... hadn't had a chance... figured I... Hey. I'm Bucky... welcome you..." He mumbled his prepared statement over and over, hoping that this wouldn't be another time when he forgot how to language. "Hey, I'm Bucky..."

It felt like three years before he finally heard feet running toward the door. He squared his shoulders and stood tall, lifting his hands in a quick attempt to make sure his hair was okay. Fuck, why hadn't he done that first?! No, Stevie woulda told him if it was a mess. He would have. So it was fine - his hair was good. "Hey, I'm Bucky, and I haven't had a chance-" The door yanked open halfway through what he'd meant to be his last rehearsal. He fixed a smile on his face, ready to meet his destiny... only to feel his eyes go wide and his mouth drop open.

Tony was covered in suds from thigh to toe, and it was clear that his socks and pants were sopping wet. Even his shirt was soaked until just below his armpits, his hands were dripping water, and he had probably been tugging on that hair Bucky would love to touch, because parts of it were plastered down or sticking up, and they were dripping too. Despite all of that, and despite the spots of color high on those perfectly carved cheekbones, Tony leaned against the door as casually as anything. "Hey," he sounded a little breathless, the only nod he gave to his current predicament.

"Hey Tony, I'm... uhm. I mean I wanted... welcome to the- wait, I'm Bucky, that was supposed to come first-" His brain was shrieking at his mouth to just stop, but it wasn't working, not even a little. "And I don't know you. I mean I know your... I, uhm... your mom, that first day you moved in, she... she said it a couple... not that I was watching!" If his feet weren't weighed down with the lead of shame, Bucky would have run right the fuck outta there. He wouldn't have even stopped at home to grab his clothes. He could buy new ones when he got to Siberia, to start his exciting new life as a Vodka salesman. "I mean. Uhm. What's up?"

Tony was staring at him, eyes wide, and fuck Bucky hadn't known his lashes were that long. He sure as shit was noticing now, especially as the man blinked slowly at him. He'd never been jealous of a cheek before, but since he was pretty sure he could die happy if Tony's lashes ever brushed over his skin like that, yeah. Yeah, he was super jealous of Tony's cheek. And God, he was jealous of his lower lip too, because Tony was biting and sucking it, and... God. If the earth wasn't willing to swallow him, he wished he could just die already. He was so, so far out of his league, and there was no way Tony would want him after that mess of an introduction.

"I'll just... go now..." Because he was clearly too late to stop the dishwasher disaster, and he needed to buy a plane ticket. He hoped he had enough in the bank... but tickets to Siberia had to be pretty cheap, because who the fuck would want to live there? Only completely awkward losers who couldn't even say 'hey' properly, that's who. Sighing heavily, he exerted the monumental effort it took to lift his heavy feet and started to turn, wondering if he'd have to call Stevie to let him know he would need to find a new roommate or if that was the kind of thing you could put on a postcard.

"No!" To his eternal surprise, Tony lunged forward and grabbed his upper arm. They were frozen like that for several heartbeats, eyes locked - Bucky would swear a wind started up to lovingly tousle both of their hair. When the moment broke, Tony still had a grip on Bucky's bicep, while his other hand went to run through his hair. "I mean - you don't have to go." Tony grinned, and Siberia suddenly seemed like a cold, lonely, terrible place. How could he ever have thought about moving away from the sun? "That was probably the most adorable thing I've ever seen." The dancing light in Tony's brown eyes had his chest puffing out with pride, even if he felt like maybe he shouldn't feel that way about his shitty attempt at a 'hey' being 'adorable'. "Was that all you wanted? To say hello?"

"Uh. I mean... are you okay?" He asked, making sure to gesture to Tony with the arm he wasn't touching. "You look a little... that's a lotta suds." Bucky knew he sounded like an idiot, but with Tony smiling at him and holding onto his arm, he didn't care quite so much. "Do you need... I'm really good with dishwashers." Oh, for the love of-

"Really?" Bucky wouldn't have thought Tony could get any brighter, but he'd have been wrong. His smile before had been just a beam of light - now Bucky was getting a look at the whole sun. "That's perfect! My dishwasher hates me, but my mom and Howard said I'm not allowed to take it apart and make it better, because I have to learn how to be a 'proper adult'." As he talked, Tony was waving his free hand in the air in an agitated fashion, pulling an unresisting Bucky into his house.

If he were honest, Bucky'd sort of been expecting the whole place to be a mess, based on what he'd seen going on in the kitchen. In reality, most of the rooms he saw looked barely lived-in at all. They were largely empty... soulless even. How could someone who exuded as much life as Tony live in such bare surroundings? It made him want to grab Stevie and get him to paint the walls with some of his murals, or maybe just adorn the walls with his regular paintings. He could grab some stuff from their attic, the things left over after he and Stevie had consolidated their things. He could maybe even make a few things himself, if he could negotiate some time in the wood shop from his boss...

Tony towed him into the kitchen, then pointed dramatically to the dishwasher. "See? It hates me!" The machine was still going, belching bubbles with every second that passed. Already there was a wave of them along with a good half-inch of water that was spreading over the floor - Tony had maybe tried to stop the machine or keep the bubbles from falling to the floor and that's how he'd gotten so wet.

"It doesn't hate you, Tony," Bucky told him patiently with and understanding smile. "You just aren't treating it right. What are you feeding it?" Tony wriggled a little, and Bucky thought it maybe was out of excitement.

"You talk my language! Great. Okay. So." He was gearing up to tell a Story, Bucky realized, fighting the urge to laugh. "I don't like to do dishes, because it's boring, and I have better things to do. Way better things."

"Like homework?"

"Like inventing the future," Tony's whole face glowed with quiet joy as he looked ahead, and all Bucky wanted to do was ask Tony to take Bucky with him as he ran toward tomorrow. "College is just to make Howard happy. Well, I mean, I'm meeting some pretty cool people - like Rhodey, who is like, the best friend ever. He gave me his coffee the other day. That is the definition of a good bro. And some of the classes aren't as boring as I'd thought they'd be, and maybe, okay, yeah, some of the professors do have things to teach me, so I guess it wasn't an awful idea. But I would have been fine without going! I could have figured it all out on my own."

"I know. I bet you could do anything." Tony looked over at him with wide brown eyes framed by heavy lashes; after a second they floated downward, hiding those beautiful brown eyes from view. He ducked his head in a gesture Bucky could only think of as shy, and then... God help him, Tony looked at Bucky from under those lashes, and he just... that was just... wow. His own expression was probably that of a deer in headlights, but he couldn't help it. "I... uh. You were gonna, you know, tell me about why the dishwasher is angry enough to foam at the mouth. But if you'd rather talk about college or your friends or whatever, that is completely fine. I'll just..." Bucky stripped off his jacket, tossed it on the counter and rolled up his sleeves as he eyed the machine. "Did you try to cancel the cycle?"

"You can do that?" Bucky couldn't help but laugh, because that... that question explained so, so much.

"Yeah. You can do that. If you want to go change, I can take care of this. Just... what did you use for soap, Tony?"

"Uhm." Bucky watched his eyes flit guiltily to the various soap boxes lined up on the shoulder... and a small bottle of hand dishsoap that had been opened.

"You didn't."

"I'm trying to find the right mixture! The one brand leaves weird smears but it smells really good, and another one doesn't get sudsy enough and another one gets too sudsy, and I guess part of me still remembers Jarvis teaching me to always use soap to wash dishes, and he was talking about the hand kind, so I just. I can't not add it sometimes, because it feels like I should, and..." Tony's hands, which had been flitting and circling in the air, came to a stop. "I don't really know what I'm doing." All of a sudden, he sounded tired and just a little bit lost. "I'm trying, because mom said it was the only way she'd get Howard to let me leave the house, but... I don't know. It's harder than I thought, I guess. I'm doing everything wrong, and I don't even... the rest of the house is all empty, and I... maybe I should have stayed at home. It was stupid to think I could do this alone."

Bucky's heart throbbed almost painfully in his chest, and without thinking he did one of the things he'd dreamed of doing. He reached out and wrapped an arm around Tony's waist, reeling him in slowly enough that Tony could break away if he wanted. The younger man didn't though, and Bucky was able to bring him to his chest, where he put his chin on Tony's head. "Life is hard, and being an adult sucks," he told Tony quietly. In return, Tony wrapped his arms loosely around Bucky's waist, giving a soft sigh into his chest. "None of us are good at it at first. I made a microwave explode once." Tony gave a laugh that sounded as wet as he was getting Bucky's shirt, so he tightened his grip on the younger man a little. "No, really - it was awful. And Stevie? Don't get me started on Stevie. My roommate," he clarified, in case didn't know. "Fucker breaks every piece of tech he touches. I won't even let him handle the remote anymore. He also can't do laundry for shit, and I can't cook anything but burnt tomato soup."

Tony was laughing against him now, so mission accomplished. "Thanks.... uh. You said your name was... Bucky?" Wow, that sure brought a guy back down to earth.

"Bucky Barnes. James technically but nobody calls me that. Well, sometimes Stevie when he's being a shit. I mean..." He stopped and took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. "Fuck. I can't word right around you. Yes. Name's Bucky." Tony's fingers balled up the back of his shirt as he gripped in his fists, and when he peeked up, he was smiling.

"You're doing fine. And really - thanks. I sorta needed a hug today."

"No problem." Feeling brave with Tony hugging him back, Bucky bent his head to drop a light kiss to Tony's forehead. "Go get changed into something dry, and I'll fix this. Then... then maybe I could... uh. I mean, so you don't have to dirty any more dishes. But that's not why I'm asking! Jesus Christ. I've wanted to ask you out since the first time I saw you," he finally told the man bluntly, stomach full of clumsily flying albatrosses instead of delicate butterflies. "You were getting out of your car, smiling at your mom, and... and you were so beautiful, and you had the best laugh... but I couldn't... I didn't want to intrude. And then you were always leaving and in a hurry, and... right. Okay. I can do this." He buried his nose in Tony's hair and took a deep breath - when he did, he got the faintest whiff of engine oil, which made him smile. "Wanna go out for dinner once I placate your dishwasher?"

Tony leaned back far enough that their eyes could meet, the same glow surrounding him as when he'd talked about the future. "That sounds great. I'd love to."

Giving a whoop of victory, Bucky lifted a laughing Tony into the air and swung him around in a circle several times. When he set him down again, he pressed their foreheads together - he didn't think it was time for their first kiss, not just yet. "That's great. That's... the best really." he murmured, ignoring the voice that told him he should just take Tony out now and the dishwasher could go fuck itself. But that would be irresponsible, and he was trying to help Tony be an adult, soooo...

When he lifted his head to let Tony go, he caught sight of Steve through the window. His best friend gave him two thumbs up, and Bucky flipped him off behind Tony's back, not even trying to hold back the shit-eating grin on his lips. When Bucky Barnes said he was gonna get a boyfriend, he damn well got himself a boyfriend.

And he didn't even need to be able to language or word right.

[gammaspectrum]

I'm not sure why I want to weigh in on this, because I imagine that the assumption that the author of the original ask is a troll, or at least trying to stir up drama is likely to be correct. But I'm also of two minds about it, because from time to time I've had that same thought, practically verbatium.

First and foremost, it's worth saying that I have been watching Lucifer since it first premeired back in 2016. I instantly enjoyed its sense of humor, the music, and just about every character (I initially disliked Dan in season 1, but really took a liking to the character in season 2 - probably starting around the Weaponizer episode?) even though I may have been a little disappointed that it didn't follow the source material more exactly.

I geniunely adore the series, enough to recommend it to my sister and some of my friends. My sister and I now spend time after each episode picking apart our favorite moments. And I get someone to discuss my guesses about what might be going on. I spent a solid thirty minutes explaining my theories about why Lucifer doesn't have his "Devil's face" anymore and how he might be able to get it back...

But I don't always like shows that spend a lot of time on "here are the characters having sex" or "here are scenes that are clearly about the lead-up to sex, or just after they've had sex since we can't actually show you R rated scenes on this channel". And early on, I certainly didn't appreciate that aspect of Lucifer.

Now before you judge me too quickly, and assume that I dislike the character of Lucifer because of this (which I do not - for an example of a character I do dislike because of this, please refer to Dorian Grey from Penny Dreadful), please let me explain:

I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I've tried to pin down exactly where, demisexual, heteroromatic asexual, grey-asexual... but it's a surprisingly difficult thing to do, and using the label asexual is good enough for the moment. Add in some degree of being sex repulsed, and it's not so surprising then that the idea of "having sex for the sake of having sex" is a really alien notion for me. And in many, many television shows and a lot of books, writers tend to take a male character and a female character and seemingly out of the blue, they look at one another, and have this uncontrollable urge to have sex. And then they do, often even knowing that it is a Bad Idea for reasons of Plot. And this comes off, to me, as either lazy writing or pandering to the assumption that everyone finds sex titillating.

Because to me, this seems absolutely improbable. Because I don't experience sexual attraction, and the motivation to have sex based purely (or mostly) on a person's appearance is (again) an alien concept to me - at least on a personal level. And it can become irksome that writers just assume that they can put any two good looking characters together and that the audience will simply nod and go, yes of course, when as far as I can tell, there's absolutely no good reason for them to like one another let alone have sex.

When I only had seen the first few episodes of Lucifer, I wasn't entirely certain that this show wasn't going to be one of those shows. That used the notion of "everyone wants to sleep with Lucifer" to allow for the show to provide what is (to many people, yes) simply eye-candy, and that didn't do much for the plot, and without a lot of explanation.

To a certain extent, there isn't a lot of "explanation" - not in the traditional sense anyway where you have to justify why all these random people are willing to sleep with Lucifer. That can be hand-waved by Lucifer's ability to draw out desires and the fact that he's the loveliest of God's angels according to many different sources (and therefore very handsome). And Lucifer's motivations are well established: he doesn't believe in controlling his passions and enjoys a highly hedonistic life-style. And one of the things he enjoys and indulges in whenever possible is sex. So I'm willing enough to buy into the premise, even if I don't personally understand it. This is all justified by the show's plot (or at least Lucifer's characterization), and later it’s even implied to be one of his coping mechanisms as @ships-sailing-in-the-night mentioned, so I have no complaints there. And I'm not entirely opposed to the use of this as eye-candy when it isn't over-done. (Because while I may not get much out of it, I understand that a fairly substantial percentage of the population does.)

Did all of that entirely stop my knee-jerk reaction to the Comic-Con trailer where it showed glimpses of a bunch of women in their undergarments using spray-can whip cream? No. I wasn't thrilled. It's not really my favorite thing, obviously.

Did it makes sense, given Lucifer's character? Yep.

Do I think that Lucifer having a lot of sex this season may upset Chloe at some point and cause drama? Probably. Especially if season 2 is any indication (see Stewardess Interruptus and Candy Morningstar).

Do I think that it makes Lucifer less deserving of ending up with Chloe? No.

The only real issue that I have with how the writers of Lucifer treat sex and possibly even @sanoiro 's defense of it (although perhaps this wasn't intended), is the show's seeming implication that EVERYONE wants to have sex, regardless of whether they want to admit to it, with no exceptions. When there are, in actuality, a subset of the population that really doesn't.

But that's such a frequent thing in fiction that even though I don't like it, I wouldn't be able to watch anything if I insisted that everything I read or watch acknowledge that asexuality is a thing which exists.

And overall, I think Lucifer’s writers have done a considerably better than average job writing a television show that has LGBT+ representation and seems to be pretty sex-positive. (Yes, just because I’m asexual and don’t really like sex myself, doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate sex positivity.)

I do hope that made some sense...

Man lucifer is going to sleep with a bunch of people again that’s going to suck

What’s wrong with him having sex? It is his coping mechanism and it was clearly established in 2x11 that there is nothing intimate about it. There is no social connection made. @softdeckerstar and @sanoiro have stated in many wonderfully put together posts about this. And I cannot say it better myself. Would you have a problem if Chloe started sleeping around? If she has sex with Marcus it won’t be the end of the world. We cannot say this enough: Deckerstar and endgame no matter what. And the writers have something big planned for the final that I believe will very much satisfy us Deckerstar shippers :)