#when you're talking about morality vs realistically what people are actually like it kind of innately drifts subject to something general

[here-there-were-dragons]

additions from op's tags that seem worth keeping

Funniest thing I've seen recently, and not funny in a ha-ha way, more funny in a "the endless entropic void gnawing at my will to live" way, was somebody asking around for alternatives to Neil Gaiman, in the light of Neil Gaiman's ongoing fall from grace. As though what we're currently sitting through isn't the collapse of the carefully curated "Good Guy Neil" image that caused people to parade Gaiman as the same kind of preferred progressive alternative to, say, Rowling. As though we won't be in the same goddamn situation in a few years or months, with some number of the new progressive sci-fi/fantasy darlings- not all of them, to be clear, but at least some of them- when their impeccably-curated marketing implodes in on itself and they're revealed to be the same kind of sex pest or abuser. Can you not see the wheel to which you are strapped. The game of human pinball you are condemning yourself to with this mindset. Maybe you do see, and you're just resigned to taking it one soul-crushing disappointment at a time, one "I never would have guessed" after another. I mean I think we all need to get resigned to that one way or another, sun's gonna go out before it stops happening

[denybunnyforgood]

Denial Conceptual Scheme

It's no secret that it will never cum again. Kind of the premise of the blog, lol. But why? it's talked to and read a lot of reasons for why people give up orgasms, and it thought hey why not organize, share, and write down some thoughts about all of those reasons!

it's noticed basically eight axes along which people get into denial, and you can basically skip around and read any of them.

Dependent on one's desires vs. independent of one's desires.

Even if it didn't want it, would it have a reason to be denied?

Other-desire fulfilling vs. other-pleasure causing.

Even if those who wanted it never knew, would it have a reason to be denied?

Self-pleasure causing vs. self-suffering causing.

Even if it made it feel worse, would it have a reason to be denied?

Direct opportunity benefit vs. indirect opportunity benefit.

How many 'whys' before you reach what makes the denial valuable?

Individualistic vs. via constructed oppressive hierarchy.

Is it being denied because it in particular should be denied, or because it is in a category that ought to be oppressed?

Realistic vs. naturalized.

What is that oppression like?

Aesthetic vs. carnal.

Is the denial for something aesthetic or for a certain feeling?

Gaslighting vs. genuine.

Does one cite actual or playfully implausible reasons to stay denied?

On top of going over all of these, it's also going to post examples (with permission) over time as it comes across them or as people send them in (though this blog is pretty unpopular, so the latter suggestion is pretty optimistic!). So far, no examples yet, hope to change soon!

Dependent on one's desires vs. independent of one's desires.

Some reasons for actions or attitudes aren't dependent on ur motivational profile. For example, it doesn't matter whether you want to save a pig who's stuck and asking you for help, you have reason to. Maybe you don't want to get your suit dirty; that doesn't matter! If someone is stuck, your reasons to help them are unrelated to what you want and you're failing to recognize what you have a reason to do if you don't think you have a reason to help someone who's stuck! Let's call these moral reasons (in reality, there are many counterexamples to this understanding of moral reasons, this is just a stipulative term for convenience).

Some reasons for actions or attitudes are dependent on your motivations though! The only reason you'd have to season your rice is because you want your rice seasoned. Call these prudential reasons.

A reason for orgasm denial which is dependent on one's desires:

it only wants to focus only on people's pleasure, so it has a reason to never cum again!

A reason for orgasm denial which is independent of one's desires:

it wishes so desperately it could just cum, its life would be so much more enjoyable, but the moral reality of it is that for an object whose pleasure and desires has no worth to cum and enjoy itself would violate the dignity of actual people, who have the right to live in a world where it never, ever cums again.

These ends of the spectrum are completely compatible. Denial can meet reasons from both ends of this axis without any true contradictions. For it personally though, while there are many who are into denial because it's something they want to do personally, it came to realize when it was younger that in its position, it was obligated to avoid making sex enjoyable for itself and that it had been making a mistake each time it did enjoy itself. it's doing better now and it really appreciates it when people share similar experiences, of realizing it was just wrong or that objects genuinely don't deserve to cum and stuff!

Other-desire fulfilling vs. other-pleasure causing.

This is probably going to require an entirely new post, but basically there's a difference between pleasure and desire satisfaction.

When you believe your desires are satisfied, you feel pleasure. But the two can come apart. If you want a painting to be sold, and the painting gets sold but you died believing it never would be, then while your desires were actually satisfied, you felt no pleasure. Meanwhile, if you died thinking your paintings would be sold but they got destroyed, your desires weren't satisfied but you felt pleasure.

Here's a true story, the previous Owner it gave up all of its orgasms for didn't gain any extra pleasure from it doing so, and it knew this, but it did actually meet more of her desires. That's why it did it. This may help make the difference clear.

Here's if it only had reasons for orgasm denial which concerned that Owner's pleasure:

She thinks it's so much worse off being denied for months at a time and she gets a lot of pleasure from believing that. This isn't true since the months of denial are so hot and cause such intense orgasms that it more than makes up for it. But she doesn't know that, so this is great for both of us!

Here's if it had reasons for orgasm denial which concerned Owner's desires:

She wants it to be so much worse off.

Whether or not it confesses to her that it's not actually much worse off unless it's permanently denied, her pleasure will be the same. Because either way, she will believe it's so much worse off. But her desires wouldn't be satisfied unless it's permanently denied.

it should tell her so she strips it of all orgasms for the rest of its life. Even though she won't feel any better, and it'd feel far, far worse, it has a reason to do this because it's what she wants.

it isn't with this Owner anymore, but one upshot of recognizing that desires are worthy of satisfying is that even if nobody ever recognized it was doing it, there are still plenty of reasons to stay denied. There are plenty of people out there who want objects like it to avoid making sex enjoyable for themselves, and so it does its best to satisfy their desires, even if they never find out.

That said, it is of course better if people get pleasure out of its convictions as well, hence this blog that others may one day find!

Self-pleasure causing vs. self-suffering causing.

This is what made it want to make this post, actually! it noticed that even though denial has gotten more popular, some posts are like "Denial feels better anyway because it's hot and it's longer!" or "Denial is a great way to make your eventual orgasms feel better!"

But much more rarely, it'll find posts that it relates to far more, where one's overall experience is worse, and that's precisely the reason for being denied.

Reasons for orgasm denial which are self-pleasure causing:

Giving up orgasms creates this constant, pleasant buzz!

Being denied puts it in subspace, which feels amazing!

Reasons for orgasm denial which are self-suffering causing:

Giving up orgasms creates this constant, uncomfortable frustration and it should suffer!

Being denied is torture!

it would say 8 out of 9 times it gets to the edge and gets denied, it only has the latter reasons for being denied but like 1 out of 9 times it does enter that amazing space where it just looks up at whoever is using it and it can see how little they care about its well-being and it can't help but be overwhelmed by admiration. It's really hard for people to truly understand that it is an object and seeing in someone's eyes their recognition that they don't have to care what it wants or whether it breathes or even comes out of this experience conscious, and being blown away by the awe it feels is so transcendent that the experience is justified by its beauty.

Direct opportunity benefit vs. indirect opportunity benefit.

The benefit that comes from denial can be more or less direct.

Reasons for orgasm denial because it's very directly beneficial:

People want it denied, so they get desire satisfaction, which is valuable in itself.

People feel good when it's denied, which is valuable in itself.

it being denied is beautiful, which is valuable in itself.

Reasons for orgasm denial because it's less directly beneficial:

Denial causes it to suffer, which people want, so they get desire satisfaction, which is valuable in itself.

Denial causes it to suffer, which makes people feel good, which is valuable in itself.

Denial causes it to suffer, which is beautiful, which is valuable in itself.

Denial causes it to admire those who have the strength to use it and only care about their own well-being, which is morally good, which is valuable in itself.

Reasons for orgasm denial because it's very indirectly beneficial:

Denial causes it to suffer, which causes it to understand the insignificance of its well-being, which people want, so they get desire satisfaction, which is valuable in itself.

Denial causes it to rewire its brain, so that it is less capable of receiving certain pleasures, which makes its life worse, which is morally good, which is valuable in itself.

The more steps you get to that "valuable in itself" part, the more indirect it is. This axis is a bit unique in that it thinks most of those it's met have had reasons across the whole spectrum, but it has noticed that for most individuals, it's super hard to like figure things out when their reasons are more indirect. It takes an intense amount of reflection and deliberation. Maybe just creating this axis and giving some examples will make it easier to talk about all kinds of reasons for being denied!

Individualistic vs. via constructed oppressive hierarchy.

Some reasons take some arbitrary yet oppressive social construction, like race, species, but usually, gender. Then they have an ideology that arises from that construction generate norms, and those norms provide reasons for the orgasm denial. Others, however, have reasons for orgasm denial that are specific to their own dispositions and are unrelated to culture or ideology.

Reasons for orgasm denial that are individualistic:

it shouldn't cum because it enters subdrop and depression, but not everyone is like that.

it shouldn't cum because that's what its particular Owner wants, even if other Owners want something else.

A reason for orgasm denial that are hierarchical and ideological:

it was born inferior, she was born superior, so we have a reason to deny its orgasms and focus on hers.

it has a complicated relationship to this axis because it doesn't believe any of our dominant hierarchies confer any reasons. The invention of race, the construction of patriarchy, and so on are all bullshit. However, the patriarchy did create a series of traumas for it which, because of the particular dispositions it was born with, did lead to it developing into an object instead of a person. And while in an ideal world, those traumatic events wouldn't exist, since it's here it does believe as a work of art that it is the kind of thing whose well-being and life quality is of no value, and it's ashamed it took it so long to recognize this.

it doesn't think it was literally born worth less, but it thinks it was traumagenically and coercively shaped into something that is genuinely worth less, and it's important to it at least that we have a culture that is able to affirm object-gendered individuals and treats their well-being as being worth less, and it has often wished it could unionize with other objects to fight for lesser rights and fewer opportunities to orgasm. Further thoughts on this will probably have to be explored in a future post, like it's important not to create a permanent hierarchy that becomes rigid and unresponsive to the complexities of objecthood, but it wouldn't mind fighting again and again for better norms.

Realistic vs. naturalized.

This builds off of orgasm denial often being ideological and depends on a variety of social constructions. Is that social construction treated realistically, as just an arbitrary and ideological set of demarcations? Or does the fantasy that it's a natural kind provide reasons for denial?

A reason for orgasm denial from the reality of construction:

it just happened to be arbitrarily demarcated at birth to be conditioned to see its own pleasure as intrinsically worthless. As such, it now finds the notion that it's worse off than if it'd been conditioned differently so tantalizing! it was so unlucky and that's so hot and gives it a reason to make sure its pleasure continues being denied!

A reason for orgasm denial from the fantasy of naturalization:

it was naturally born inferior and deserves to be subordinated by those born superior. So, there's reason to deny it any orgasms.

it does sometimes like to tell whoever's using it that it was just born an object because it knows that that fantasy would mean a lot to us in that moment, but overall recognizing the truth that it was just arbitrary is often more meaningful.

Aesthetic vs. carnal.

There are plenty of aesthetic properties. Beauty, sublimeness, daintiness, serenity, tragedy, etc. When we engage with a work of art, we seek these properties in order to try and figure out the appropriate response, and when we discover that we missed a property or recognized one that wasn't there, we change our response accordingly.

These responses are generally both in some sense constitutive of who we are, what we wish to be, and some of them can be rather detached.

Paradigmatic carnal responses, like arousal, a desire to skullfuck it, etc. are sexuality-adjacent and raw, and are often more viscerally sensory.

The geometry of this axis is not really a straight line, as the relationship between art and sex is difficult. But it's worth including!

Reasons for orgasm denial due to aesthetics:

It's really quite cute when it's nearly tearing the mattress, gripping it because of its intense need to get past the edge.

it was born with a form that enhances through suffering. So, there's a reason to maintain that form and make sure it never cums again!

Reasons for orgasm denial due to carnal attitudes:

it never cums so you can cum harder. <3

Gaslighting vs. genuine.

Finally, it's noticed that some reasons are presented genuinely, but others are presented frivolously. This is a hard one to give examples for, since these come down to the context and intentions involved.

But for instance, when it talks about denial, it usually lists the actual reasons it has to be denied, that it knows outweigh its reasons to ever orgasm again. Denial ruins its life, people want it denied, it's an object, etc.

Other times though, you'll see these lists that are like "Look at all these benefits for denying yourself! Meanwhile what's an orgasm give you? A brief few seconds of pleasure?" The reductive description of what comes of cumming is just obviously incorrect, but that's the appeal for those that appeals to.

Okay so,

Why has it committed to never cumming again? Along these axes, it knows that it is morally obligated to never cum again because that ruins its life, and people want its life ruined. If it weren't morally obligatory it would really not like its life ruined, but it's an object, and objects should be stripped of their opportunities to an enjoyable life, so yeah!

If anyone has any examples of these, please let it know!

edit: Here is a later conceptual scheme for categorizing objects.

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Are you aware that I'm-a-gay-fish and Zu ship dr//m/are ?/genq

okay so it took me a while to answer this but i finally found the words to so here goes; yeah i do know, and i totally understand if you don't ship it, neither do i, but there's nothing i can do about it?

they're allowed, so long as they don't harm people, to do whatever they want on their own platforms. and before you ask me if i support *ncest, would you actually ask someone if they support toxic relationships and murder whenever they ship two unhealthy killers with mental problems? because that's funnily enough what most people do around here! you can say it's not the same, and that they're romanticizing it, but i can personally detach myself from fiction enough to realize that while this concept depicted in their art shouldn't be recreated in real life, that doesn't mean they actually engage or support people that do that irl- they asked zu the same question so many times, and frog doesn't either and i've known gayfish for three years! you're well within your right to stop associating with them or distance yourself from their content but i myself won't.

i know fiction affects reality to a degree, don't twist my words please, but if you're too young to consume that kind of content with a nuanced perspective or is triggered/affected by it then as long as they tag their content properly then you can unfollow, block and move on. i have a habit of following and reblogging people's works before looking at their bios and before i know it find myself having to choose between two sides i don't belong to and i frankly don't want to! anti this or proship that- in this online era you have to adapt by keeping your cool and curating your own online experience and viewing people in black and whites is stressful, painful and dangerous for everyone involved. i don't even reblog the content you probably have a problem with, and i'm honestly still scared of the response i'll get-

i will not blame or hate whoever unfollows or blocks me for this, it's to be expected, but please don't think about it like some bad vs good guys dilemma? sometimes thought provoking morally grey ambiguous stories with messed up characters spark more positive discussion and healing than people looking into it because they suffer from the same delusions and want a justification-

like realistically, in my blog, most ppl here are basically shipping two literal skeletons with magic in their bones who are sometimes almost the exact copy of one another, and who theoretically have a very similar dna, and sometimes they make shipkids, which, if you know anything about *ncest, is one of the main reasons why you shouldn't bang your siblings - mostly from a moral standpoint because that's so gross i can't even think of it, but also because any offspring would suffer greatly from physical and mental diseases hidden in their genetic code- like. you could argue it's not the same but it's sancest for a reason. and even when they're widely different sanses, you wouldn't think fell x sans is wrong (at least in this specific community) but really we've all just gotten numb to how weird that sounds. trust me, there's a reason we don't talk about our ships to outsiders HHH

TL,DR: so while i greatly encourage you to block people and content you don't want to see/associate with, including me! i hope i made it clear why i, personally, don't care about dreammare and whoever ships it.

[dhs-in-disguise]

Years ago someone on TikTok made this video series called „character building questions“ and while I can‘t find it anymore I wrote down most of the questions and thought I might as well post them for people to use as an OC ask game (and to see if anyone remembers the creator)

Part 1

(1) What's the lie they tell most often?

(2) How loosely or strictly do they use the word friend?

(3) How often do they show their true emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

(4) What's a hobby they used to have that they miss?

(5) Can they cry on command and if so, what do they think about to make it happen?

(Rest is under the cut, it‘s kind of a lot)

Part 2

(1) What's a favorite anything that they have never recommended to anyone before?

(2) What would you yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend or romantic partner yell?

(3) How loose or how strict do they use a "I love you"?

(4) Do they give tough or gentle love more often and which do they prefer to receive ?

(5) What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about?

Part 3

(1) If someone was impersonating them, what would their friends/family/partner ask or do to tell the difference?

(2) What makes them laugh everytime (be specific)?

(3) How many different hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime ? Is there a common theme?

(4) What's a simple daily activity or motion they mess up often?

(5) If they are scared who do they want comfort from? Does this change depending on the time of year?

Part 4

(1) What's something they're expected to enjoy based on their hobby or profession but they actually hate?

(2) What's their instinct in a fight, flight or freeze situation?

(3) Who do they believe without question?

(4) Do they act on their immediate emotions or do they wait for the facts?

(5) What's a phrase they say a lot that you're going to use less than what would be realistic to avoid annoying the audience?

Part 5

(1) What believe, moral, or personality trait do they stand by/don't change that you personally don't agree with/don't like?

(2) Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

(3) Who would they say yes to, if invited to do something they abhorred/strongly didn't want to do?

(4) Who have they forgotten about, who remembers them very well?

(5) Are they a listener, in which case, what makes them talk? Or a talker, in which case, what makes them listen? If they're balanced, what makes them talk vs. listen?

Part 6

(1) What's something unimportant that they hate passionately?

(2) Whether it exists in their world or not or they want to or not, what language would be easiest to learn for them and why?

(3) What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing, environment and biases? How do they respond when realizing that misunderstanding?

(4) If invited to do a TED Talk, what topic would they present on?

(5) What phrases, pronounciations or mannerisms did they pick up from someone else? (As in picked it up later in life and it’s unusual for their background, current environment or family.)

Part 7

(1) How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?

(2) Would they rather be included in a group (out of politeness) or be excluded if they're not genuinely wanted?

(3) What's a secret they haven't even told serious romantic partners and don't plan to?

(4) Who do they keep in their life for professional gain?

(Part 8 is for villains, I never wrote the actual questions down though…)

Part 9

(1) When they make a mistake & feel bad, does the guilt differ when it's personal vs. professional?

(2) How do they respond when someone doesn't believe them?

(3) What do they tell ppl they want & what do they actually want?

(4) What's the worst gift they've ever recieved & how did they respond?

Part 10

(1) What's the last thing they did for the first time (before the story starts)?

(2) What subject/topic do they know a lot about that's completely useless to the plot?

(3) Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

Part 11

(1) If walking up to their crush to confess, what would they say and how would they say it?

(2) Do they prefer to make or buy gifts, regardless of means?

(3) What would their response be, if their biggest personal secret came out?

(4) How many best friends did they have over their lifetime, and what made each of them a best friend?

(5) Which teacher had the biggest impact on their life and why?

Part 12

(1) What do they notice first in the mirror vs. what do other people first notice when looking at them?

(2) What's their most obvious difference in behavior at home, school/work, with friends and when they're alone?

(3) How do they put out a candle?

(4) When do they fake smile and how often?

Part 13

(1) What's their least favorite thing they own and why can't they get rid of it?

(2) What are their joke final words a friend might put on their tombstone?

(3) What do they stress-do and what do they stress-ignore?

(4) Who do they not look up to any more? Why? OR What would make them never look up to them again?

Part 14

(1) Is where they live filled with a lot of niknaks? If so, is there a common theme?

(2) What word do they always mispronounce/grammar mistake do they always make & why?

(3) What's their tell when lying and who would notice?

Part 15

(1) What's a small goal they have that they're ignoring in favor of the main goal of the story?

(2) Last 3 topics they researched before the story?

[iraprince]

Sorry if you've already said but can I ask what age you started drawing? I'm in my twenties wondering what sort of skill level I can acquire if I haven't been applying myself very much before this point

i have been drawing for as long as i can remember. i started wanting to actively improve my technical skills when i was a teenager; i think i started learning how to actually actively improve my technical skills (on purpose instead of by accident, lol!) in my 20s.

(also -- as wordy as it may be, you'll notice i'm really particular about saying "technical skill" over and over! this is because it is only one factor of what drawing is, but a lot of times when ppl talk about being "good at" drawing, tech skill is what they really mean. when i say technical skill, i'm usually referring to draftsmanship, the ability to draw things not just accurately/realistically, but as they appear in your head; your hand doing what your mind tells you to, your ability to meet your own intentions/expectations for a piece, however it makes sense to conceptualize it. it is NOT the most important part of drawing, not by a long shot, but realistically it's often the sticking point for people who are learning + it can be one of the big struggles in keeping morale up.)

these may seem like finicky distinctions to make, but to me they make sense! bc the benefit we may have starting as adults is a better grasp of how to CONSCIOUSLY study and improve on specific areas of a skill, vs the passive improvement that will generally happen from pure directionless repetition. i feel that i've had jumps in my technical skill level over the course of a year or two as an adult that are bigger than my improvement through all of middle + high school, for example -- and i bring this up bc if what ur concerned about is technical skill, that is not purely 100% about time invested, and starting later than some does not mean you're at some kind of massive insurmountable disadvantage.

in that specific example, the difference as an adult was going into it with intentional curiosity and a drive to specifically improve, vs middle + high school was six years of me happily drawing the same 4-5 characters floating from the waist up in perpetuity. were those years wasted bc i wasn't drilling myself and doing studies? fuck no! but my progress was different, bc i was focused on other, equally important parts of learning to draw. (like discovering + honing my own tastes, consuming a lot of media that inspired me, and having fun!!!!)

SO, anyway, my personal perspective on the skill level u can attain if u start now: the same as anyone else!! and i don't think i'm being like, sunny or unreasonably optimistic in saying so. i think keeping ur chin up and being patient w urself as u learn to draw is generally way harder than actually drawing, for literally everyone. u have to make a lot of dogshit drawings to eventually make good ones, and that is the part that's actually really really hard. but u can make decisions about how and where to apply the time u invest that may show u visible progress in ways you'll find surprising! (pls balance that time with shit that's just fun, too.)

in case it's helpful, i'll leave u with a different very wordy multi-para response where i talk about where to start if you'd like to learn to draw with no/little prior experience: here! it's def not comprehensive and is totally colored by my own opinions/perspective on art, and specifically on illustration/comics, but i hope it might be a starting point :)