#when you surely think he means the Famous one in Britain bc when not in wEIrd AU 'tis where he's from*

[rugessnome]

...

[fataziraphale]

The Best and Wisest Man Whom I Have Ever Known (A Good Omens Secret Santa)

Happy holidays, @ditherwings!!! I was your Good Omens Secret Santa! I had oodles of fun writing this—I too adore literary history and Aziraphale being a dork. You have excellent taste! I hope your holidays are wonderful and you enjoy this offering from me.

When Aziraphale sent a letter to cancel their dinner plans, Crowley dropped a potted plant in shock, scattering ceramic shards all over his kitchen floor. Aziraphale never turned down the Café Royal. He relished in running into all those authors he was fond of, like the unsettlingly tall one who flirted a bit too much for Crowley’s taste. Plus—and this generally piqued Aziraphale’s interest even more—their French patisserie was to die for.

Perhaps more alarming, Aziraphale’s elegantly looped handwriting announced he was cancelling dinner because he was currently in mourning.

In mourning? For a human, then? It didn’t seem in-character. Among their other arrangements, Crowley and Aziraphale had made a pact, some drunken night in 1431, that they weren’t going to love any specific humans. Sure, it was all right for Aziraphale to go the salons and debate the merits of various magazine poems, or be on a first-name basis with his local baker. It was another matter entirely for him to become attached.

It all got too messy. They’d agreed on that. They’d practically emptied out a winery after Boccaccio died—Aziraphale because the man had made such incredible contributions to the literary canon, Crowley because he’d inspired a whole generation of women to take up masturbating, but both because Giovanni was a friend. They knew what happened to humans after they died, they knew the man’s soul would live on until at least Armageddon, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that they would miss him, and they couldn’t keep going on like this, becoming blubbery messes incapable of doing their duties every time a good drinking buddy got ill. So they’d decided not to. They’d promised.

So then who the dev—who was Aziraphale mourning now?

Miffed at Aziraphale going back on his word (and certainly not worried about the angel, don’t be daft), Crowley fetched his hat and coat and set off into the streets of London. Carriages crowded the road, humans weaving in and out of the foggy air. Crowley flagged a cab and rattled off Aziraphale’s address, tapping his foot against the carriage floor as it bumped against the cobblestones.

It was awfully inconvenient, relying on humans for transport, but he had never been particularly good with horses. He’d read in the paper about a German woman who’d traveled a great distance in some sort of horseless carriage. He’d been thinking of heading to the continent to see what the fuss was for himself. He wondered if Aziraphale would like to come along—they could go hear that new Brahms piano thing everyone and their mother raved about.

But no. Aziraphale was in mourning.

Not for the first time, Crowley wondered if it wasn’t simply a euphemism. If Aziraphale wasn’t angry with Crowley but too polite to say so. Sure, they’d had that tiff in the 60s over holy water, but Crowley had thought they’d patched things up. He’d bought Aziraphale his weight in apology chocolate. So what could be the matter now?

Yet as he exited the cab onto Aziraphale’s street, Crowley couldn’t help but notice a pattern: young men sporting black armbands. Yes, there were bucketloads of them—this one hurrying into his apartment, that one buying flowers from a stand on the roadside, those two comforting a weeping woman. Crowley remembered himself just enough to push one mourner into the street, making sure to do so when no carriages where heading his way.

The bookshop was closed, but that was normal for Tuesdays. Crowley rang the bell and, when no one answered, willed the knob to turn.

The angel Aziraphale sat his desk, sniffling over a copy of The Strand.

Crowley stared at him. Indeed, Aziraphale did appear to be mourning—he wore a black crêpe around his upper arm, and another adorned the hat hanging on his hat stand. He put down the magazine with a sigh that came from the very depths of his soul, if angels had that sort of thing (Crowley wasn’t entirely sure). He removed his spectacles from his nose, tucked them into his pocket, and caught eyes with Crowley across the room.

“Oh, my dear boy,” Aziraphale murmured. “You’ve read it, haven’t you? Do sit down. Would you like some tea? No, you’ll likely need something stronger.”

Mystified, Crowley lowered himself into a chair, stopping first to lift a heap of books off its seat and onto the floor. “Read what? I saw the men in the streets. Who died? Is it someone important?” His eyes widened. “They didn’t catch that friend of yours, did they? That author who wears all those gaudy green flowers?”

Aziraphale shook his head. “Oscar is perfectly sound, though I’m not sure A Woman of No Importance was his tightest work. Perhaps he should stick with prose rather than drama.”

“Then what’s this about? Someone from your gentleman’s club? No, it’s got to be some famous bugger if everyone’s gutted about it.” Crowley cast his eyes around for inspiration. “It’s not the Queen. I would have heard if it were the bloody Queen.”

Aziraphale drew a handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes. Crowley had never known Aziraphale to be a crier, but now he was getting the disturbing impulse to start saying things like “There, there” and “It’ll all be all right in the end.”

“He was a great man,” said Aziraphale. “Perhaps Britain’s finest. Crowley, I simply don’t know how I will go on without him.”

Crowley had already reached across the desk for Aziraphale’s hand before he remembered he was supposed to be a demon. “I thought we said we weren’t going to do this. Not after Joan. We weren’t going to get close to humans.”

“Oh, he and I aren’t close. Goodness, though, I should think I’m going to write the man a very stern letter. You simply can’t go playing with people’s emotions like that!”

“It probably wasn’t his fault,” Crowley said. “You know, dying. Humans tend to do it whether they want to or not.”

“But humans can choose not to murder a beloved cultural figure!”

This caught Crowley’s attention. Murder wasn’t always the work of his side, but it was certainly more in his wheelhouse than the angel’s.

“Do you want revenge, angel?” Crowley tried his best to snarl, but his tone came out more like sympathy. “Because I can help you with that. I can turn the murderer’s… undergarments into ants. I don’t know, give me time to think of something really devious, I’m a bit rusty.”

“Perhaps you could write him a letter too,” said Aziraphale, and then his eyes lit up. Something inside him clicked, and a smile lifted his chubby cheeks to Heaven—just as it had when he’d first tried bread back in Mesopotamia, or last week when he’d showed off his charmingly bad gavotte.

“We could start a movement,” Aziraphale gushed. Crowley’s heart, despite not strictly needing to beat, threatened to give out altogether. “Yes, I believe we could! One letter might not sway the man, but twenty? Fifty? One hundred? We could rally the men in the streets! Tape up posters in Trafalgar Square! I could make a picket sign! I’ve always wanted to make a picket sign.” He stood up, raising a triumphant fist as he glared righteously at a stack of encyclopedias. “Why, if we put enough pressure on the man, he’ll have to cave! He’ll bring the dead back to life in no time at all!”

“Er,” said Crowley. “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

“Don’t be silly, dear. If anyone can think of a way to bring back the world’s greatest detective, it’s Mr. Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“Why would this Conan Doyle bloke kill a detective? Did he do a crime he wants covered up? Does the detective owe him money?”

“What? Oh, Crowley.” Aziraphale chuckled. Crowley could feel his cheeks growing pink for at least three reasons. “Sherlock Holmes is fictional. He’s Doyle’s literary creation.” He frowned. “I gave you The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes last Christmas. Did you not read it?”

Crowley stared. “Do you mean to tell me, all this time, you’ve been planning to skip out on dinner because you’re mourning someone fictional?”

“He’s a very good detective.”

“I don’t believe this! Angel, I thought you were actually depressed!”

“I am depressed!” Aziraphale scoffed. “And it’s perfectly reasonable to be affected by literature! Why, just last year, I closed my bookshop for a month to recover from The Picture of Dorian Gray!”

“I thought you just didn’t fancy dealing with customers!”

“And you, my dear.” Aziraphale jabbed a finger in his direction. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten you! 1806 BC! You cried after reading The Epic of Gilgamesh! At seeing the humans’ first attempt at truly great literature!”

“Angel, those were tears of laughter! That guy Enkidu had a hard-on for two bloody weeks! Could you keep a straight face reading that?”

“There’s no need to be crass.” Aziraphale coughed into his handkerchief, but Crowley could recognize those upturned lips anywhere. “Anyway, I’m hardly alone in this. Plenty of readers lived for the Holmes stories. It’s a true pity there won’t be any more.”

“Good. Oodles of angry humans. Doyle did my job for me.” Crowley was already mentally drafting a very threatening letter. Naming the man’s children should do the trick. In the off-chance he didn’t have any children, well, the replacing Doyle’s undergarments with ants idea was growing on him.

“But you see, this is why I mustn’t go to dinner with you.” Aziraphale assumed his most sincere expression. “It would be disrespectful to be seen lavishly dining and carrying on when such a tragedy has befallen the literary world. Why, none of my friends there would let me hear the end of it.” He gazed forlornly into an empty mug, rimmed around the top with cocoa stains.

“What about lunch?”

Aziraphale’s head snapped up. “Oh, excellent. I’m simply starving. And a man must eat. No one could blame me for that.”

Crowley’s mouth curled into a devilish grin. He held out his hand, and Aziraphale took it. “I won’t tell any of your author friends if you don’t bring up me and Gilgamesh.”

“Perhaps only in private.”

“It’s a funny poem! The bloke had sex for two weeks!”

“Ah, that reminds me. If you truly don’t want your first edition Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, may I have it back? It would make an excellent addition to my collection.”

“You devious bastard. You only bought me that bloody book because you wanted it.”

Crowley weaved between dusty stacks of hardbacks and emerged blinking onto the Soho street. Remembering the mourner with his arm around his compatriot, Crowley vaguely thought of putting an arm around Aziraphale.

But that wasn’t the way their love language worked. Crowley’s love was showing up. Was badgering Mr. Arthur Conan Doyle to a bloody pulp until he brought Sherlock Holmes back to life, logic be damned. Was giving Aziraphale an excuse to pig out on French pastry. Was hailing a cab and taking Aziraphale’s hand to pull him up inside.

As Aziraphale’s plushy hip pressed into Crowley’s, he thought of the new electric lights they’d shown off at the Paris Exposition. He could feel that current now, running through the angel’s body into his.

He realized Aziraphale had only broken his promise if their pact not to love humans extended to fictional ones. At any rate, if it included falling in love with angels, Crowley was in an awful lot of trouble, and he owed Aziraphale about £15.

Perhaps some promises were made to be broken.

[sarasfm]

Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs

Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ?  I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro​

full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies

dormitory room: 105

birthday: 20 march 1995

soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza

favorite dish: efo riro

aesthetic:  when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands

Bio Points

her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit

she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa

she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !

Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’

loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted !  was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states

her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”

she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see ! 

Other Information

Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)

Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)

Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck

Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye

Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build

Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101

Personality

the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy. 

she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu 

easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready

rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart

she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming

is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand

she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer

just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich

Fun Facts

has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese

has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man 

is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday 

likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit 

is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff 

doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit

if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y 

she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul

isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there 

don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place

Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know

kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything 

Possible Connections

crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok  

flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her

enemies/angst !!! —  or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that.  so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!

fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !

friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right

mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”   

anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu 

( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )

[uncurieuxrenard]

Football is more French than you might think.

France has been part of my life since my birth, probably, but, through the years, this feeling grew stronger and stronger. There is actually a year where it started, and that's 2015, but it peaked in the summer of 2016, thanks to the European championship which took place in France. That tournament ended with France losing the final against Portugal, but that inspired me to research for the story of this sport I had just begun following (end of 2015). So I did. I am a perfectionist, so I wanted to dig as deep as possible into this mystery, the first of a long series of origin stories of inventions, sports and more, which, to be honest, were the main reason why I created this blog in the first place. So, I thought that the first one of these stories to share with you had to be the first I researched.

So, we will start from the very beginning and with the premise that, since the dawn of times, every civilisation having roamed Planet Earth has played games, and many of them involved a ball. There are evidences of ball games everywhere in the world, from Pre-Columbian America, where Mayans played the Tlachtli, the probable precursor of basketball, to Asia, and this is where our tale begins.

The civilisation is the Chinese one. The dynasty reigning is the Han. The century is the third B.C. The name of the game is Cuju. Born as a military training, this game, officially recognised by FIFA as the earliest form of the game, initially saw players trying to kick a feather-stuff ball into a goal made of two wood sticks planted on the ground. This game spread from the army to the royal courts and upper classes, always during the Han Dynasty, which lasted from 206 BC to 220 AD. Cuju evolved into something more complex where its popularity during the Tang Dynasty, and it started to resemble football even more. It became a team-oriented game and clubs started to be established, but its popularity exploded during the Song Dinasty (960-1279) and in the X century the first Cuju league was created, 800 years earlier than the British Football Association. Not bad. Eventually, cuju began to fade around the XVII century and soon disappeared.

In the same period cuju was being invented in China, in Europe the spiritual father of European football and rugby was being developed by the Greeks. Despite the image of the lone Greek athlete trying to reach for glory by himself, like a mythological hero, Greeks also played team-oriented games, and Episkyros was one of these. The teams of this violent game, especially in Sparta (where else?), were usually made up of 12-14 players. The field and the teams were divided into two by a line, and another line was behind them. The goal of the game was to push the ball to the other end of the field. This game incorporated, therefore, elements of both football and rugby, which actually were two sports of the same root at the time of their "inception" in XIX century England. But, according to some sources, even the atmosphere was similar back in Ancient Greece. One of these comes from the Egyptian writer Athenaeus of Naucratis' Deipnosophistae, which contains an excerpt dating from the IV century by Antiphanes, the famous comedy writer who describes a moment during an Episkyros game and the consequent reactions from the supporters, all written in a modern television commentary style:

"Once he took and passed the ball, he was enjoying that, while he was dodging an opponent and making another one of them fall on the ground. Then, he helped one of his team mates lift off the ground. All around were strong yells saying "out!", "long ball!", "high!", "low!", "short ball!", "shoot it back to the fray!"

Episkyros never was an Olympic sport in Ancient Greece, but, as you can read above, the agonism was all there, both from the athletes and the audience, unlike cuju, which was merely an exercise, a game. Sports and games always were a serious thing for the Greeks.

Once the Romans conquered Greece in 146 BC, one of the many things they "borrowed" from the Greeks was this game. Romans renamed it Harpastum and it is said that they introduced the rule which forbade to touch the ball with the hands. Plus, when Rome built the empire we all know, this game got immensely popular among the centurions defending the limes of the Roman Empire. This means that, while Greeks invented this game, Romans spread all over Europe (which means the British Isles, naturally).

Actually, the first mention of an unidentified ball game in Britain comes from the IX century AD. We cannot know whether it had anything to do with football, but probably this game was the Harpastum of some game deriving from it. What we know, though, is that the game which officially started it all came from... France.

In fact, if we want to find the actual origins of modern football we have to move to Northern France where, around the same time above mentioned, a new game developed and spread in Normandy and Picardy named Soule (or choule). This game was usually played after a religious function or during the holidays between two teams composed of people coming from two villages, usually close and rivals, but also between two different social statuses or situation (for instance, married men against bachelors et cetera). The game ended when one of the teams, composed of a potentially unlimited number, managed to push the ball with any means (besides the feet, sticks and hands were also allowed) towards the opponents' village, and then shot the ball into the portal of the local church, scoring de facto one gol. The ball disputed in a Soule game was made either of leather or animal bladders, filled with bran, hay, moss or horsehair. The field was of variable dimensions and could include ditches, streams, woods and wetlands, but the game started in the "midfield", which could be the border between the two churches (or "goals", in this case), the square of the village, a graveyard or even the castle of the local landlord.

As my description of this game may suggest, la Soule was a manly, violent game. While this was true, it was unexpectedly regulated and accompanied by an actual code of rules. Surely, it was much less violent than believed, since any type of violence towards the opponents was allowed. If today this sport is remembered as a barbaric, medieval game is surely thanks to the infamous, so called "remission letters", in which real court cases involving injuries and, some times, deaths, were evoked and told. When we actually think about the amount of players involved in a single game of this ancient sport, though, these sad cases were possible, as they are in every sport up to this day. Despite this, these letters helped give this game a bad, and equally unjustified, fame.

The first mention of the Soule in France dates back the year 1147, but it's almost sure that it was played in Northern France way before that date, since scholars are nowadays sure that this game was introduced in England by the Normans after William the Conqueror invaded the island in 1066. Moreover, this theory sounds incredibly plausible because the so-called "mob football", medieval English ball game from which modern football as we know it today descends, has no anterior mentions than 1174 on British soil, and, also, this mob football was characterized by almost identical features and rules than the French soule. However, I think it is right to specify that from the moment the soule was introduced in Britain, every development of the game that eventually led to the codification of modern football, the establishment of the Football Association in 1863 and the birth of the first football clubs (the first of which is Sheffield F.C.), all occured in the British Isles, even though soule kept being played, with discontinuity, on French soil at least until the XIX century.

A special mention goes to all the other subsequent ball games which were played throughout the history of Europe, from the Icelandic Knattleikr, first mentioned in XII century (but probably older) to the Italian Calcio Fiorentino from the Renaissance.

Finally, we can say that this long story tells us that we should never write or talk about history with the verb to be. Football, as in many other inventions and other things in history, is not English. This verb sounds like something definitive, an ended argument, as sure as death. As we can learn from this story, instead, history can surprise us with a lot of beautiful "maybes", "ifs", "actuallys", by showing us Ancient Chinese people kicking a ball, an Ancient Greek young man freestyling and medieval French people scoring goals by shooting balls inside churches, by playing a primitive form of the sport which eventually became the most popular one in our world.

[taeilm]

potc!au | nct

drink up, me ‘earties (never shall we die)

3 ships, 3 crews, 18 boys sailing the vast atlantic

warning lowkey dark bc potc

TAEYONG: Captain of La Vipère

loves the sea more than anything

has probably sailed more waters than any other pirate (he does own the fastest ship out there)

fears neither death nor life

but has a gentle heart so therefore...too many weaknesses

cares about his crew a lot, especially jaehyun

brilliant swordsman; one of world’s best

it’s mesmerizing to watch him amidst battle bc he fights like he’s dancing

confident & courageous & will face anything head-on

charismatic; ppl are naturally drawn to him

ten’s nemesis; their vendetta against each other is never-ending (though neither is sure how it started)

romantically unavailable bc he’ll only ever be in love with that distant horizon and boundless sea

SICHENG: Quartermaster of La Vipère

taeyong’s most trusted right-hand man

aloof, mysterious; no one rly knows why he’s here or what he wants

ex-british royal navy commander but he left all that behind for the uncharted sea, bc taeyong somehow convinced him

pretty boy

his beauty is literally deadly bc ppl let their guard down around him then lose their lives for it

terrific fighter

doesn’t talk much

can be very cruel if needed (to enemies & crew alike)

extremely disciplined but slowly trying to unravel the navy orderliness that has defined most of his life

TAEIL: Boatswain of La Vipère

loves the ship more than his crew

carefully maintains her so she’s always running at 100%

will probably go down with the ship if she ever sinks

looks harmless but is actually p good with a sword

doesn’t like fighting though

taeyong consults him a lot

experienced & versatile bc he’s worked on many pirate ships before

but for some reason everyone trusts his loyalty to la vipère

has a lot of good stories to tell

loves singing haunting tunes about dying sailors; it sets the crew on edge but his voice is too beautiful to make stop

JAEHYUN: Sailing Master of La Vipère

inexplicably attuned to taeyong’s feelings and desires

prob bc they’ve known e/o since they were little pirate boys

shares his captain’s love for the sea

taeyong trusts him with his life

doesn’t like making empty promises

soft-spoken & gentle

has the face of a heartthrob but doesn’t use it to his advantage

very precise with navigations

seems to always know where taeyong wants to sail before he even tells him

JOHNNY: Master Gunner of La Vipère

chill and laidback; nothing ever fazes him

joined the crew bc he was bored & wasting his life away on land

master gunner for no reason other than that he gets a sick thrill out of bombing other ships to oblivion

he only feels alive during battles; the more chaotic the better

so unsympathetic that ppl think he’s missing a nerve but rly, he’s just perpetually disinterested in everything

can be very charming from time to time depending on his mood

loves thunderstorms & hurricanes

JAEMIN: Surgeon of La Vipère

childhood friends with jeno; they were both orphans living off of scraps in paris

doesn’t talk about it bc they’re kinda enemies now but he worries over him a lot (taeyong knows this but can’t do much about it)

initially joined la vipère to find jeno

adapted well to life as a pirate; anything is better than the starving hell he grew up in

a surprisingly capable doctor even though the only experience he’s had was from treating his and jeno’s cuts & bruises from larceny punishments

very stealthy & nimble

good at stealing

loves his crew members

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TEN: Captain of The Black Pearl

taeyong’s nemesis; would kill him but would highkey also fuck him (their relationship is rly twisted & intense idk)

a playful trickster

nothing but snide remarks tucked under his tongue

devil-may-care attitude; little thoughts given for the future

so unbelievably selfish and narcissistic it’s amazing he has a crew at all

but he’s fun!! and clever and charming as hell

can wiggle his way out of any trouble

very good at lying & acting

speaks a lot of languages

legendary swordsman; on par with taeyong

only shows genuine affection when talking about the black pearl

sleeps with countless ppl every time they dock at a port

DOYOUNG: Quartermaster of The Black Pearl

basically in command of the ship bc ten rarely does anything for the crew

smart, organized, well-rounded

revered and somewhat feared by the crew

hides his emotions v well

ppl think he’s heartless but tbh he’s not rly; he’s just good at separating task from feeling

has a soft spot for jeno; thinks the boy is wholly unsuited for this barbaric life

doesn’t seem very invested in piracy (he wants something more but he’s not sure what)

loves the sea at night when everything is calm & quiet

prefers peaceful sailing to battle frenzy but that doesn’t mean he can’t fight well (he’s actually the second-best swordsman onboard after ten)

KUN: Boatswain of The Black Pearl

similar to taeil, the ship is his pride & joy

does a good job overseeing everything on a daily basis

greedy; loves gold more than anything

always the first to locate the treasure hoard on a conquered ship

dreams of being the wealthiest man in the world and thinks piracy is the quickest way to achieving that

everything he does is for his own gain; the crew to him is just another means of aiding him in the bigger scheme

takes care of yukhei the most bc he thinks that kid is their best asset in battles; ppl mistake it for affection but kun would drop him in a heartbeat for even the tiniest materialistic gain

loves rum

JENO: Sailing Master of The Black Pearl

the kindest & most thoughtful boy

very good-looking (his beauty is famous across all the seas; even mermaids fall for his allure)

childhood friends with jaemin; misses him but doesn’t dare to say anything bc if ten ever finds out, jaemin will likely die just so ten can see jeno’s reaction for his own entertainment

not very fond of his captain

only joined the crew bc ten saved him years ago from nearly getting his hand chopped off for stealing (“now, boy, i need me a crew, so what do you say? join me and i’ll consider your debts paid”)

separated from jaemin due to that but fate has her own way and now they’re enemies on sea (he’s not sure if he’s thankful or angry)

has a natural affinity for directions at sea despite having been a parisian street rat his whole life

YUKHEI: Master Gunner of The Black Pearl

epitome of the ruggedly handsome pirate™

crazy fucking bastard

doesn’t know what holding back means

blasts cannons like there’s no tomorrow every time the black pearl engages in battle

loves joking around with the crew

says he adores & would die for everyone but no one knows if he rly ever means it

so reckless w everything he does that it’s a feat he’s still alive

drinks a lot but rarely gets drunk

honestly just wants to live life to the fullest

that’s why he loves being a pirate!! nothing else can give him the same dizzying rush of being alive, knowing he’s always on the verge of death

huge womanizer... always gone the moment they dock, just like ten

JUNGWOO: Surgeon of The Black Pearl

shy & quiet & seemingly innocent

but no one knows of all the shit he’s done in secret to get to where he is today

obviously he’s darker than he comes off as if he’s survived for this long on the sea

ppl always want to protect him and he goes along with it bc false impression is his favorite weapon

so tbh he’s as good of a liar as ten is

pretends to act like an airhead but is acutely perceptive to everyone and everything around him at all times

a highly skilled surgeon; was trained as a pirate doctor’s apprentice since v young

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MARK: Captain of The Flying Dutchman

cut his own heart out and locked it away; no one knows where it is or dare to ask

cursed with the ship; can never make port and is doomed to sail the seas for eternity

acts cruel and merciless but is deep down very sensitive

ppl say no one knows love like he has known love

self-destructive, moody

lone wolf; pushes everyone away but somehow his crew is unshakably devoted to him

superior swordsman; second only to ten and taeyong

controls the kraken; the entire sea is envious of him for that

RENJUN: Quartermaster of The Flying Dutchman

ex-british commodore

was so so devoted to great britain like literally exemplar pawn of the empire; would’ve died for his queen with zero hesitation

drawn to ppl who are better than him

which is why he was enthralled by mark during one great battle bt the british navy & the flying dutchman 

and then promptly abandoned everything he ever stood for just to follow this boy

has a pride complex where he simultaneously pines after & wants to kill those who’ve bested him

very good with guns & pistols

YUTA: Boatswain of The Flying Dutchman

loves being a ghost-pirate; he was made for the undead life

had an intense affair with sicheng from years ago but was betrayed and nearly hanged for piracy 

so now he’s bent on revenge (but some fucked-up part of him is still in love with sicheng) (he’ll never admit it though)

tongue sharper than ten’s bc he always speaks with the intention to hurt

very manipulative

holds grudges

joined the flying dutchman bc it’s the most feared ship on the seven seas & he thinks it’s his best chance at finding & killing those he’s been wronged by (rn primarily sicheng)

despite everything he’s p loyal to mark bc there’s something about cutting one’s own heart out that intrigues him to no end

CHENLE: Sailing Master of The Flying Dutchman

navigates the ship to various locations to collect sailors who died at sea & ferry their souls to the next world

good judgements when it comes to sailing

often climbs onto the crow’s nest to stargaze or watching the rising sun bc they’re the only things that calm him

absolutely devoted to mark bc mark plucked him out of an abusive shanghai orphanage & basically saved his life

has a dark side but is generally a sweet boy

confides in renjun a lot bc he trusts him the most

DONGHYUCK: Master Gunner of The Flying Dutchman

would die for mark in a heartbeat

he’s in love with his captain? maybe?

rude/sarcastic little shit

jack of all trades; very smart but puts 20% effort into everything

disobedient as fuck bc he wants to get a rise out of mark but has never succeeded

sunshine boy on the surface but won’t bat an eyelash when spilling blood

gets a sadistic kick out of firing cannons and pistols

likes playing games with their captives/hostages

good at telling jokes & stories but everyone finds him annoying

JISUNG: Powder Monkey of The Flying Dutchman

suspicious of everything & doesn’t trust anyone

bad at managing emotions & relationships (his captain can relate)

a quick learner; can honestly take over any position on the ship if he wants to

gets along well with chenle but isn’t super close w anyone

his mother tossed him overboard at birth w the intention to drown him but mark saved him by chance

yuta jokes that mark only picked him out of the water bc he didn’t want to ferry another dead soul

he considers his life to be mark’s; 100% at his captain’s disposal

excellent fighter despite being so young

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In an age where we have satellites that can zoom in to watch an ant pee on a leaf, you’d think our society pretty much knows everything. Even with our high-speed, touchscreen, 3-D, Star Wars projectors, there are still a few ciphers and codes keeping cryptologists (trust us, it’s a word) stumped. Some of them come from way back in the 18th century. Even with the addition of advanced technology, ye ol’ pilgrims are proving that the smartest thing about our society might just be our phones.

#1 Dorabella Cipher They say authors possess exceptional minds. The ability to take a blank page and turn it into something intriguing, an art form that pulls at the emotions… ok we may be a little biased, but let’s  agree it takes a bit of creativity to make something from nothing. At the end of the 18th Century, author Edward Elgar sent an encrypted message to his young sweetie. Problem is, this mastermind managed to disguise his message so well, she couldn’t even read it. Elgar was fascinated with the idea of encrypted messages. He even cracked an uncrackable (yeah we said it) code that was published in the famous Pall Magazine. Over the years, people have noted the reoccurrence of the same scribbled symbols, or cypherbet (all types of cool words in this one), that make up the Dorabella Cipher in Elgar’s musical compositions and personal notebooks. Everybody has a theory, but no one has proved a concrete solution.

#2 D’Agapeyeff Cipher A few decades later, Alexander D’Agapeyeff wrote a book on cryptography. The year 1939 was pre-computerized encryption and it is believed his unbreakable code was completely hand drafted. This mind-boggling phenomenon is more difficult to solve than other table spun codes of the pre-modern world. . D’Agapeyeff may have been too good at what he did. His most famous code was so difficult, he couldn’t even solve it. Cryptanalysis took his numerological cipherbet and, as usual, assigned the numbers to letters. Unfortunately, that turned up a big pile of nothing. All they had was a bunch of doubled and tripled letters. His book, “Codes and Ciphers,” printed by the Oxford Press, wasn’t any help. For some reason, later editions decided to leave out his famous cipher.  People probably got tired of getting so close to a solution, then realizing they were still oh so far away.

#3 Indus Script Between 2600 to 1800 BC, the Indus civilization flourished. Also known as the Mature Harappan Civiilization, the Indus people have been written in history as the most advanced urban culture of their time. The complexities of the Indus people weren’t discovered until generations later. The first attempts at decoding the Indus Script were made long before the civilization was re-discovered. Historians from Britain on to India have each taken a turn at tackling the symbolic messages. Some believe the writing of the Indus people served as the foundation for the hieroglyphics in Ancient Egypt. Teams from Russia and Finland each came to the conclusion that the script was of Druid origin. Regardless of where it came from, the 400 sign pictograph, alphabet, encrypted message has great minds stumped all over the world. It is believed the population of the Indus people reached over 1 million. With that many people to govern, it’s safe to say they needed to come up with some form of language. At the civilization’s end, they were so selfish they didn’t leave a cheat sheet for the rest of us. It must’ve been on a need-to-know basis. We just don’t need to know.

#4 Chinese Gold Bar Ciphers General Wang of Shanghai, China received seven gold bars somewhere around 1933. The design resembled metal certificates people get when making deposits in U.S. banks. The biggest difference was the mysterious pictures and writings found on the bars. They were engraved with script writing, Chinese writing, and Latin cryptograms. Pushing 90 years later, and we still haven’t figured it out. Totaling 1.8 kilograms, the Chinese writing is believed to detail a transaction of over $300,000,000. The true reason behind General Wang receiving such an elaborate gift from a secret admirer would be a lot easier to determine if we knew what in the world the gold bars said. Able to read them or not, we looked at the engravings and we’re pretty sure there were some big bucks involved in the transaction. You don’t have to be a cryptologists to see that big golden smile plastered on (what we think is) General Wang’s face. He’s laughing straight to the bank.

#5 Zodiac Killer While we credit the Eastern hemisphere for the introduction of the Zodiac and the daily horoscopes that flood our inboxes, we’re sure they want no part of one of the U.S.’s most infamous serial killers. Not only was he responsible for multiple deaths, the psychotic Zodiac Killer made sure he got credit for them. In 1939, he sent letters to three California newspapers boasting over the recent Vallejo murders. Attached to each was 1/3 of an encrypted cipher he demanded to have printed on the front pages of each. After doing all the usual detective things and coming up empty, the police force had no choice but to play his game. Claiming over 37 victims during his rampage in the 60s and 70s, a few of the Zodiac Killer’s messages were decoded. However, the vast majority are still unbroken. The FBI even went as far as to release the rest of his messages to the public in the hopes that some upstanding citizen would be able to decipher them.

#6 Linear A This is kind of a two-part mystery. Historians have managed to identify a relationship between Phaistos disc and the Linear A script but they’ve yet to decode the message. Phaistos disc was found in 1908 with swirling clay characters printed on both sides. “Experts” have pointed out 45 characters, but don’t know what they mean (we can count, does that make us experts too?). In addition, they discovered a number of tablets with two different styles of writing. One style was named “Linear A” and the other “Linear B”. Linear A was determined to be much older than the latter method. It was singled-out to an origin in the island of Crete. A British rookie named Michael Ventris put all the “experts” to shame when he broke the code for Linear B. The secondary form may have been cracked but Linear A still has the “experts” banging their heads against their desks.

#7 Proto-Elamite Outranking the Persian Empire, the Elamites were the world’s oldest evidence of civilized living. Even in 3300 BCE, it was necessary to develop a written language to be able to communicate with your neighbor. In 8th century BCE, the Elamites used shaped clay tokens to represent different goods or services. They even developed clay wallets and IDs to mark who owned the money and how much they had. This proves to be the earliest evidence of a numerical system. Near 2900 BCE, their language advanced to a completely new method. It is assumed that the unbreakable Proto-Elamite language was some form of accounting system. Still advancing, and stumping modern cryptologists, the Proto-Elamite was switched up again from a right-left-down reading system to a linear one. Some progress, if you want to call it that, has been made with historians finding similarities between the Proto-Elamite and proto-cuneiform styles of writing. Unfortunately, at the approach of the 5th century BCE, Proto-Elamite began to fade away. All that is left is 1,600 clay tablets that nobody can read.

#8 Taman Shud As explained with the Zodiac Killer, murderers like to get their rocks off in more ways than one. The body of an unidentified Australian man washed up on the shore of Adelaid beach over 65 years ago. The media christened him “The Somerton Man.” Figuring out who he was is one of the least perplexing parts of this mystery. Random stuff in his pockets led the Australian police to the local train station. There, they found his suitcase full of more normal-man things. The lack of leads and coroner’s report of a healthy adult-male body (besides being dead) had people tossing around the possibility of poison. It took two whole months and a random reexamination for officials to find a small pocket that was previously overlooked. In it was a small rolled piece of paper that read “Taman Shud.” After revealing the latest find, a guy went to police and said he found a copy of the exact same book in the back of his car the night The Somerton Man was murdered. Under ultra-violet light, the mystery magnified with an unreadable five-line code. The jumbled letters didn’t strike any chords. For years, officials and various volunteers have attempted to crack the cipher. Professor Derek Abbott and his students have committed to cracking the code since March 2009. However, others have since decided to give up. New claims say the victim was a Cold War spy who was poisoned by enemies. It’s a lot easier to sweep something under the rug than it is to admit the bitter taste of defeat.

#9 McCormick Cipher Ricky McCormick’s body was tossed in a Missouri field on June 30, 1999. Two years after his death, two notes in his pockets were the only clues detectives had to work with. Even with the efforts of the Cryptanalysis and Racketeering Recording Unite (CRRU) and American Cryptology Association, the notes have yet to be decoded. The victim’s encrypted mastermind has the CRRU so stumped, the McCormick Cipher ranks in as number 3 on the CRRU’s list of brain busters. Over 30 lines of coded information include numbers, dashes, letters, and parenthesis. With so much information, the possible ciphers are virtually endless. McCormick’s family says he wrote in ciphers all throughout his childhood but none of them knew what the notes meant. Although he was only missing for a couple of days, McCormick’s body quickly decomposed. This made deciphering his notes the cornerstone of solving his murder. FBI code breakers normally bust through ciphers in a couple of hours. Somehow, McCormick, a man who allegedly could barely write his name, gave the professionals a run for their money.

#10 Bacon Cipher The Voynich Manuscript is a small, illustrated composition written in cipher. Rediscovered in a Jesuit school in 1912, the contents were renamed “the Bacon Cipher” because history traces the origin of its contents back to an Englishman by the name of Roger Bacon. Some historians discredit Bacon’s involvement due to the inclusion of various alphabets not used during his time. Conversely, its illustrations support claims of Bacon’s contribution. He was well known for his interest in composing an elixir for life among other mystical teachings. Similar topics were mentioned within the Voynich Manuscript. Was Bacon privy to the realm of the unknown? We’ll leave that up to someone else to debate, but one thing that goes undisputed is we don’t know what the heck it means. Many attempts at breaking the secret code have been made. Some claimed it was rearranged Greek shorthand while others believed the key lies in the illustrations. Every theory proved to be ineffective. Those who still attest the cipher to Bacon are amazed by the information he had access to, things that weren’t discovered by the masses until years after his death.

Source: TopTenz