#when you pull colress and grimsley into it its a weird 'all the people who i gave keys to my house' thing

[subwaybrothers]

accidentally shoved guzma into the alola unova whatever the hell fuck they have going on. and by accidentally i mean that i was like lol what if guzma showed up and then immediately figured out his relationship w all the other guys in the. found? family???

[pan-matsuri]

Pokémon Moon Update 3

I completed Ula’ula Island and the plot events directly following. It’s... um... hm. Thoughts below, spoilers.

My team as of completing this island is Primarina, Misdreavus, Ledian, Lurantis, Umbreon, and Shelgon. This will likely be my final team for the story, once Misdreavus and Shelgon evolve. I was briefly travelling with Marowak, and I was considering Ninetales for my team. However, I forgot about “version exclusives” and had to trade for one, and raising a new Vulpix from an egg is what I’ll want to do, but it’s not in the plans for now. I happened to stumble upon a Bagon on Melemele Island while exploring new areas by surfing, and even though its Sp Def is dreadful, its Attack stat and typing are welcome additions to the team. EDIT: Apparently Bagon is super rare on Melemele, like a 1% chance of encounter. But it was the first and only Pokémon I saw in that patch of grass so lucky me I guess! The island starts off with too much Kukui, which is to say any amount of Kukui at all. I knew there was a reason I didn’t like Kukui, or rather a multitude of reasons, but I never expected him to come up with the idea of starting a Pokémon League. I guess that explains why he has been so serious about my adventure so far, but I don’t like when people make professional development decisions on my behalf. I don’t like Kukui. I had really been warming up to the idea of no gyms and no Pokémon League. The Pokémon series had been stuck in a formula for 20 years, and it felt like they had finally broken the mold. While there have been other issues, the actual flow of the adventure felt fresh and exciting. But no, Kukui has to go and ruin it by insisting that our adventure has to follow the script and we have to compete to be the Champion. I don’t like Kukui. I really like the design of this island. I like the eastern influences in the buildings and the garden in Malie City. We’re told to go up a mountain, but not before being introduced to a couple more new characters. Acerola is pretty cute, and I really like the black/white dichotomy of her design paired with Lillie’s. I hope they continue to be Good Friends. We also meet Samson Oak, whose mere existence continues to prove that the developers have a fetish for the Gen 1 games. The first trial feels so forced. You don’t even get to hardly meet these people before they start involving you in schemes. It’s pretty cool that it’s at the top of a mountain, but despite Mount Hokulani being so tall you need to take a bus to the top, there’s hardly anywhere to explore. This also contributes to a long running issue that there are simply not enough trainers in between each plot point for you to be able to accurately tell if you are at the right level. To be fair, I’ve never really had to grind, but I’ve also barely squeaked by during a couple fights, so maybe I should have been. The Electric trial is led by Sophocles, a captain who is so uninteresting that that’s all I have to say about them. You’re forced into four fights in a row, so hopefully you didn’t put a Flying type in the lead position like I did. There’s no warning either that you won’t be able to switch your lead position. If I’m having so much trouble as a veteran player, I can’t imagine how difficult this game must be for casual players. If this was my first Pokémon game, I’d probably put it down and never play it again. I made the battle with Totem Vikavolt much harder on myself by refusing to use Marowak, who was still tagging along. Double resistance to Bug and immunity to Electric would have made the trial laughably easy. So maybe I shouldn’t complain about difficulty when I’m artificially creating it myself. Of my other five Pokémon, only Misdreavus was a safe-switch in. Ledian was able to tank some hits after Reflect, and Infestation helped to chip away at the Totem’s health while I could heal the rest of the team. Vikavolt didn’t seem interested in using Bug moves against Umbreon, so I was able to use Growl to -6 Attack, which ultimately helped. Fomantis hadn’t evolved yet and was too slow and frail to do anything but faint in one hit. Brionne was able to pick off the ally Charjabugs while barely surviving Spark. The battle went really long, and I think Vikavolt became PP starved near the end. After leaving the mountain, we’re forced to talk to Kukui again. I don’t like Kukui. We finally meet the head of Team Skull, the big bad bug boss Guzma. We end up fighting him like a thousand times on this island. He made a great first impression on me when he confronted Kukui for being an idiot. I don’t like Kukui. His first boss battle was kind of tough because I didn’t have a lot of options when fighting bugs, but I would ultimately teach Brionne to use Acrobatics and Lurantis to use Aerial Ace. Ledian would also learn Air Slash which, in addition to Bug Buzz, would ultimately make her my strongest Pokémon. I do think it’s great that his Golisopod has a move called First Impression. Up until now, Team Skull was really just up to mischief, which was all well and fine. The evil teams don’t always have great mission statements. The one line about Alola having a bunch of old and outdated traditions was interesting to me. I felt it was an interesting contradiction that Guzma would feel that way but then fight any attempt to change that. There is a man north of Malie City named Gester, who lets you change your Battle Style, which is basically just how you throw your first Poké Ball. After learning that you could learn new styles from challenging previous captains, I raced back to challenge Lana. My recently evolved Lurantis swept Lana’s team, with some defensive assistance from Ledian. At some point, some people form a Nugget Bridge clone in Malie Garden. I don’t like this, only because I am sick of all the Gen 1 references. To make matters worse, they only use Kanto Pokémon,probably the original teams from Nugget Bridge. The last guy even pretends to recruit us to Team Rocket. The only thing that was interesting was the suggestion that the last guy actually was a former member of Team Rocket. I think an anniversary game where it’s revealed that Giovanni has been pulling all the strings in every other game would be super cool. We’re given a new Ride Pokémon in the form of Mudsdale. The oldest 8 year old Hapu tries to wave off the lack of ceremony (”I was gonna give it to you before but I forgot”). Mudsdale can walk over rocky terrain and is slower than Tauros and Stoutland. From what I can see, there’s no wild Pokémon on the rocky terrain and it only appears on one route, which is already blocked off by a trial captain’s barrier. So I’m not exactly sure why this Ride Pokémon is in the game. The geothermal power plant seems like something important could happen there. I know there’s that Legendary Pokémon from XY that they didn’t release, Volcanion. They have this whole big power plant area in Kalos which I’m certain was meant for a side story with that Legendary, but it’s all blocked off. I’m getting the same feeling here, but I’m not going to complain because you can interact with almost everything at the power plant reception/museum area. It felt far more immersive than anything else in the game so far. Anyway, we mindlessly make our way from point A to point B and start Acerola’s trial at a haunted abandoned supermarket. It was pretty clever, but again, there are other Ghost Pokémon than the three from Gen 1. I thought the mechanic of taking pictures was neat, but I wish it was more complex. Totem Mimikyu was the strongest challenge so far. I expected it to be easy, as I had four Pokémon with moves strong against Ghosts. The biggest challenge was that Mimikyu was faster than Ledian, who was my fastest Pokémon. Also that Mimikyu got a critical hit that bypassed Reflect and knocked out Ledian. That didn’t help. Mimikyu had obnoxious type coverage. Umbreon was to be my other star, but Mimikyu had some Fairy type move that shut him out of the match. Misdreavus would have been strong but Ghost being weak to Ghost made it a struggle. I was able to use Thuder Wave which helped. Shelgon knew Crunch, but was too slow and too weak to hold up to ally Gengar’s Shadow Ball. Lurantis didn’t have any opportunities to tag in; these Totem battles aren’t really meant for Grass types it seems. Primarina was the star, taking out Mimikyu with Oceanic Operetta. Luckily, allies Haunter and Gengar didn’t know any Poison moves. As an aside, I really like Double Battles. There were a few in this chapter, but there haven’t been too many overall. With Pokémon like Ledian and Umbreon, I’m able to put together some actual strategies, even though it’s mostly just “put up Reflect/Light Screen and hope that Petal Blizzard/Sparkling Aria doesn’t critical on me”. At this point, Team Skull commits petty theft and steals a Pokémon. It’s not a strong one, so there’s no real point, but it plays into Team Skull’s previous gimmick of being incompetent. Sometime around here, Gladion shows up and tells us to protect Cosmog, and it was about this time that I noticed his eye color matched Lillie and it all started to fit together. We’re introduced to the weirdest cameo ever, Grimsley from the Unova Elite Four. Why is he here? I failed to mention last time that Colress, also from Unova, showed up on Akala Island. That was also weird, but Grimsley is arguably weirder. You never really interact with the Elite Four outside of the Pokémon League, so they are very easily forgettable. Grimsley gives us Ride Sharpedo, which is another surf option except combined with rock smash instead of fishing. I like Sharpedo, because it’s a better alternative to Lapras. Fishing is pointless in this game anyway, except for Pearls. I really like Po Town. It’s the sort of feel that would have been great from towns that Team Rocket had taken over, except those would have more of a mob feel. We’re introduced to yet another new character, but he doesn’t tell us his name yet. He looks like he hasn’t slept in months and couldn’t care less about anything short of the destruction of the world. Well, just you wait, sir. The second Guzma fight was the same as before, except with higher levels. I was able to successfully predict Golisopod’s First Impression and block with Shelgon’s Protect. Shelgon was carrying an Amulet Coin, which was important because Revives are stupid expensive and also clothes. Speaking of clothes, I bought a new top in Malie, but that’s about it. I’d love to get my hands on a Team Skull top. We rescue the stolen Yungoos and discover almost immediately that Lillie has been kidnapped by Team Skull. The game plays a flashback of the events; I did not like this. It’s a common story telling technique but didn’t fit in this game. Gladion shows up and tries to hide the fact that he’s her brother, even tho we’d all worked that out by now. So just a heads up, I think everything about this next part of the game is all sorts of messed up. Gladion suggests that Lillie was taken to Aether Fortress, which makes no sense to anyone but him. Hau even calls him out on this, but since everyone has been treating Hau like shit, he’s started to have low self esteem and starts treating himself that way too. Thanks a lot, game. You took the one really good character and treated him like garbage. You can piece together that Lusamine has the same eye color as Lillie and Gladion, but the problem I have is that Team Skull had nothing to do with Aether up until this point. In fact, they had literally just stolen a Pokémon from them not an hour earlier. I don’t like when the game autowalks you to a new location. My legs work on their own, thank you. In this case, Gladion takes us to Malie City to travel by boat to Aether Fortress. Before we leave, as we’re waiting for Hau, the depressed guy from earlier shows up. This is Nanu, and he might be Acerola’s uncle but I doubt it and hope not. In Hawai’i, my understanding is that it’s common to call your elders “auntie” and “uncle���, even if they’re not related to you. Anyway, he’s apparently the kahuna and reminds us of the island challenge thing that we were doing. He uses Dark type Pokémon. This battle would have been really easy with Ledian but every trainer in this game has ridiculous type coverage in their attacks. Two of his Pokémon have Rock type moves, so Ledian went down quick. Sableye was handled by Shelgon, since Dragon Claw is ridiculously strong. Krokorok was handled quickly by Primarina. Persian was taken down by Lurantis, who finally had a moment to shine. Grand Trial complete, moving on. So now Team Skull and Aether are in cahoots I guess? Cool. This would mean that Aether is evil, as evidenced by all the Aether employees wanting to fight you for some reason. They could have played this differently, I think. We did arrive at the fortress in a Team Skull boat. Maybe they think we’re Team Skull? Nope. We’re just a bunch of kids who are intruders. There’s a handful of Aether people who are actually helpful. This is never explained why some are okay with us and some aren’t. I thought one of them would be the girl who was nice to us and Rotom but apparently the writers forgot about that. Aether Employees are way stronger and more competent than Team Skull. But their teams are still easy enough to take down with type matching. We meet the green Aether guy, Faba, again. He’s made out to be this big bad guy but he only has a Hypno. But he’s a conniving little rat. We’re tricked into exploring some labs in search of Lillie and we learn a bunch of information about Ultra Wormholes that we already knew. Rotom suggests that we read as many documents as we can, but there’s only two of them. This was a chance to provide some more depth but it was missed. I do like Multi Battles, and the game pairs you up with Hau and Gladion a few times here. Hau is much better than Gladion, and also a lot better than anyone else gives him credit for, including himself. After some more Aether fights, another fight with Faba who was suddenly stronger, and a meeting with Wicke who acts in such a way that suggests she has no idea what’s actually happening, we walk into the next area to find... a crap ton of Team Skull members. Why are they here? Why are they working with Aether? The answer is... I don’t know. The game doesn’t tell you. You even fight Guzma again, in a harder battle. He steps aside, because he “respects” you or something, but never says why he’s there. We finally find Lillie, who is with Lusamine. Shocker, Lusamine is the mother of Lillie and Gladion. Who would have guessed. Lusamine has gone absolutely bonkers. She is a straight up cold hearted bitch. After she says “I have no son or daughter” to her son and daughter, she kidnaps Lillie’s Cosmog and plans to kill it to summon the Ultra Beast from last chapter. I really don’t like this. Lusamine is a horrible person. And even the suggestion of killing a Pokémon is way darker than anything ever suggested in the games before. I did not sign up for this, this betrays the way that main series Pokémon games have been billed up until now. It’s a children’s game, for goodness sake. Or maybe it isn’t anymore. The battle against Lusamine was surprisingly easy. Clefable was taken out by Misdreavus and Ledian. Clefable first used Metronome to use Coversion2, turning it into the Dark type. Losing STAB for Moonblast and gaining a weakness to Bug allowed Ledian to get an easy win. One interesting thing that happened was that Clefable used Metronome to use the move Moongeist Beam, which I understand is the signature move of the version-exclusive Legendary for Moon. Lilligant and Milotic were taken down quickly by Lurantis. Misdreavus confronted Bewear, but Lusamine withdrew on turn one, because apparently it didn’t know any moves to hurt Ghost types. Her Mismagius was defeated by Umbreon, and Bewear was ultimately defeated by Primarina’s Oceanic Operetta because she didn’t really get to do anything else in the match. Also I threw out Shelgon at some point for the Amulet Coin. Guzma shows up to help Lusamine, again not explaining why. It doesn’t make sense. I cannot think of a single reason why these two would be working together. They use Cosmog’s energy to open up a bunch of Ultra Wormholes. This leads to a really cool cutscene fight, Hala and Tapu Koko versus some bug thing. Tho I wish Tapu Koko would have responded to Hala’s words. Even just a nod or something. Lusamine and Guzma enter an Ultra Wormhole created by the jellyfish thing from the last chapter. They’re gone, but Lillie and Gladion still want to get their mother back. Personally, I say good riddance. She’s a monster. After a night’s rest, and an outfit change and a new lease on life for Lillie, we’re set to head out and clean up the mess caused by the Ultra Wormholes. Hau decides to stay back and train, as we have outpaced him in the island challenge by quite a ways. So the game sidelines the best character, tho it will be a nice change of pace to have a more actively involved Lillie. Gladion offers to help us on our quest by taking us to... Poni Island, for some reason. We’ve never been there before. We know that there are Ultra Beasts everywhere we’ve been, but it seems like the game just wants us to continue our island challenge like nothing else is happening. Gah. So far, regarding the game as a whole, I feel like... this is not my favorite Pokémon game. I don’t even know if I really like it. I mean, I like it enough to want to see it through to the end, but that might be because of the 45 hours I’ve put into it so far. At least we’re free of Kukui for a while. I don’t like Kukui.