#when you dont instalock fast enough
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What i feel about you based on your main agent (bad edition)
I will write the requests but i am in my writerblock era so hoping this will cure it. Love u all <33
Brimstone
Please stop smoking our entrance when we are the attackers please i beg you.
You never speak nor listen. We all know your mic and the whole team is either muted or you are basically deaf.
I have never seen a child play him so you are old. I mean old old. Like a dad or smth
Chamber
The chamber nerfs are a delusion you suck either way
Stop spending your whole 800 credit to a pistol that you will forgot for the rest of the game.
"I was in my prime before chamber nerfs guyss!!🤓🤓" Yea yea we get it.
Chyper
Can you stop saying "I kNoW eXAcLY wHErE U ArE" for five seconds?
You cannot aim so you place a setup that is unbreakable to attackers and letting your traps do all the work for you. How smart. (Thats me)
Cannot do shit when the last one left. You get one or two kills with your trap and u die middle of the round.
Deadlock
Stop placing sensors to our back, trying to hold the backsite but enemy can slow walk and bypass you u know? Then you be raging "I PuT a SeNSoR ThErE"
Istg if i get tangled down by your c one more time im gonna ragequit.
Your ult never gets anyone yet there is the whole five of the enemy team.
Fade
Your prowler shows no one, girl. Stop throwing it at the start of the round.
Stop trying to control your c you are losing so much time and its gonna get no one.
Ult when your team is near PLEASE. Its no effective if you are by yourself and scream "FACE YOUR FEAR" bcs you are the one that will be facing it.
Iso
No one mains iso.
Stop smurfing. Its no fun.
Go back to your own league. You coward.
Jett
You are a little child screaming into mic bcs you dashed forward to enemy and died.
Stop sitting onto the keyboard and actually aim maybe you'll get a kill.
Play with the team once. (I hate you with my whole heart)
Kay/o
You either never use your flashes or you blind just your teammates.
Your ult doesnt makes you undying you know? Stop running towards to the enemy like its new paradise.
The most avarage player. Middle fragging the whole game.
Killjoy
Just gives the info, maybe gets one or two kills because of the stupid dasher enemy jett and dies.
That turret be doing no damage if its on your team but be dealing 50+ if its on the enemy team.
Dont just sit there and wait FUCKING ROTATEEEE
Omen (my main)
Stop using c and teleport mid fight. Its no chamber tp or yoru tp. It takes time to teleport and takes time to handle the gun. You are going to die.
That blind hit no one. Stop being delusional and do not push. You are going to die.
If you do not know how to put a smoke when you close the 'astra' mode, do not. Place it slowly if requires. And again, if you dont do it fast enough, you are going to die.
Phoenix
STOP TROLLING YOUR TEAMMATES WITH YOUR MOLLY AND WALL ISTG I HATE YOU
That flash will hit you. It doesnt matter if the phoenix is on the enemy team or on your team. Or worse, both.
You are not that bad, you just need some humanity.
Sage
I hate you if you are an egirl that instalocks sage just to be a pocket sage to your eboy that plays reyna like reyna cannot heal herself. Stop. Also stop talking. Your voice irritates me.
Her voicelines are so unnecessary. Especially the ones at the start of the round.
We all know you are on top of your wall that closes mid. Dont peak. Also, stop throwing slows to OUR entrance.
Sova
Nobody is going to do anything about your arrow that you throw at the start of the round and showed three or four people. The team will still push. Stop trying to learn freaky arrows and waste your time.
Shock dart kill? What is that?
This agent is not friendly for beginners. Stop making your friends that just started the game play sova. They will show no information for you. Even being a pocket sage is better than a new-starter sova.
Viper
Its ok if you do not have linups. But if you do, then we all know that you havent touch the grass for a looong time and you probably smell like her ult. Please shower.
She be no mommy to you. She is kind of woman that rejects chamber, what made you think that she will even let you look at her way?
"Last player standing"
Yoru
Like kay/o. That flash is here only to blind you. Not the enemy.
Taking the spike and going to another site, saying you'll be back to us then will die and make it drop at the farest site possible. Either stop taking the spike or dont do this shit.
You either bottom frag or top frag. There is no in between. And you are probably 12-13 years old.
Astra
I have never seen someone mains, even plays astra.
So i have nothing to say. Im so sorry :(
Your smokes looks pretty tho. Keep it up!
Breach
You are a man that cannot stand woman. If a woman says anything bad about you, you will blind them, hit them with all of your abilities and do whatever it takes to make them unable to play the game. (Totaly not single-handed experience)
I hate your abilities. Very much.
I do not have any good experience about someone that plays this agent. Not a single one. I will dodge the game if someone picks breach no joke.
Gekko
Your molly is useless. I have seen once maybe twice that it kills somebody.
You have so much potential with wingman when you are the last one standing but wingman is the last thing that comes to your mind. Use it.
Why tf that trash is pickable and usable more than once??? Why?? (You are a nice person tho. Cannot move on without saying it.)
Harbor
Players that plays harbor are no joking. They are not here to learn the agent. They MAIN main him. But that doesnt makes a difference because this agent is close to useless.
Tbh he could have been my main if his abilities were a bit more versatile. Its just smoke and smoke. All about closing the sight of enemy. So fucking boring.
I bet if harbor was a girl, there will be so much people that would play him. Either way, he is boring.
Neon
Stop running and jumping around like an autistic.
You will never be able to nail those neon edits that you saw on tiktok. You look like an idiot while running towards enemy and dying first.
I hate her ult.
Raze
You are a child. A problematic one indeed.
Probably siblings with jett mains.
I bet even i could do better satcheling than you. (i have never played raze)
Reyna
I have no words.
Stop instalocking her. You are no useful.
Either top frag and smurf or bottom frag because your friends said that she is strong and you should play her. (0/11 powerspike. Yasuo of valorant.)
Skye
Just like kay/o and yoru. But that flash will hit the whole 10 that plays the game.
PLEASE HEAL I BEG YOU YOU HAVE HEAL PLEASE PRESS C PLEASEEEEEEE
Deserved nerfs tbh.
#valorant#headcanon#brimstone#chamber#chyper#deadlock#fade#iso#jett#kay/o#killjoy#omen#phoenix#sage#sova#viper#yoru#astra#breach#gekko#harbor#neon#raze#reyna#skye
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echo main, echo main, don’t pick it! no-no...... NOOOOOOO!!! [begging in french]... *clap* please. I beg you. you can have my, my firstborn, firstborn kid [?]--*looks up to see Race hasn’t switched off yet* oh please. ohhh.... *whispers* race. race, hey, psh, hey, race. hey.*mlemmlem* race. race. talk to me. race. say something. hey, hey, hey... [cries in french]
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