#when ur arts degree actually comes of use... look at me mom!
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feliciano spent at least 30 years with a commedia dell'arte group touring europe in the 16th century, holding the female romantic lead, isabella, for most of it until he was allowed to play zanni/harlequin and the male romantic lead, flavio, towards the end !
#hc / ‘ bends and breaks and is born again with each sunrise ✧#ooc / ‘ i’ve connected the two dots . i’ve connected them ✧#when ur arts degree actually comes of use... look at me mom!#basically! a troupe only existed of amab men and the younger ones played maskless characters and often the young female charas#zanni would be the only masked character he played#the young lovers are usually lovesick idiots tbh which feli would be right for kJshd#but also zanni would be one where he got to rly work his sense of humour and play#it's the comedic main chara who usually guides the audience through the play as the only one who talks to them#also he gets in a lot of sticky situations & also lays out humiliating plots for the other (upper class) cast#commedia commented on society in an easy relatable way and was mainly meant for commoners so zanni/the servant was the smarter one#it's just all... very feli energy and he'd enjoy it sm#zanni & harlequin is p interchangable tbh!#edit bc im on phone: basically the clown of the show#honestly v similar to aph italy's role in the show so c:#SO! y es#edit edit: ALSO it was a lot of improvisation and acrobatics!!#gdhsga okay i'll stop adding but bAsically feliciano was made for this#finAL sidenote he'd be like 17 at the time
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hulloh! I've only been on tumblr for a few hours, and me and my friend already love your work! Is it ok if I request some TWST parent scenarios with Riddle,Lilia,Sebek,Vil and Floyd? If so, thanks! Also once again, me and my freind love ur works alot!
Of course! Since there's no s/o really mentioned in here but people might still want to be included, s/o will be mentioned just a tiny bit (the kids being biological or adopted is up to you since I want to make the s/o gender neutral.) Also, thanks a lot! I'm still and probably be forever an amateur writer so this means a lot to me 🥺💞💞
Triggers: None
Parents au: Riddle, Lilia, Sebek, Vil and Floyd edition!
From what we've seen, his parents are not the best role models like, at all. They were too strict, pressuring him and treating him like a trophy child. However, he will definitely not treat his child like that at all after Ace slapped him with reality.
He will be a bit strict, having some rules and will scold them if they did something wrong but not as scold them the way his mother does. He won't raise his voice at them, showing them the right path after he scolded them. He will give them freedom and try his best to not make his children suffer the same thing he did, especially when he's the source of the pain.
Though, he might accidentally adapt some things from his mother and project her ways to his children, being completely not self aware. If you're his s/o, please teach him the baby steps to avoid this from this occurring too often.
Unfortunately, having a good life and children won't make his short temper extend. This is the only reason why he doesn't spoil them too much, they might act entitled and may be too late to change them back to the innocent infant they were back then. He tries very hard to control his temper if his children unintentionally knock furniture over or damage something. He just needs a few minutes alone, everything will be back to normal later.
There was one time where his child's birthday was near and decided to bake a cake from scratch, without any assistance from Trey nor his s/o. Thinking he could do it and don't want anyone to underestimate him. He was planning to make a burnt strawberry cheesecake and did the mistake of leaving the oven on for an hour for 400 degrees fahrenheit. The cake went on fire but it tasted very good when he for some reason tasted it. Nobody knew about the incident and the cake was actually used for its purpose. Yay for him, I guess.
He was already pretty outdated in trends when he was in his teens so do expect him to be like a middle aged soccer mom on Facebook every time his children send him memes or something like that. If he does even use any sort of social media and stumbled upon a 'funny' minion meme or something, he will definitely send it to the family group chat. He will make those 5th grade types of edits with one of the family pictures with a "I love my family". It's funny but still wholesome so don't laugh at him.
There is no alternate universe where Lilia isn't a good dad. Silver and his other wards are already an amazing example of how amazing of a parent he is! He has gained a bunch of experience so he got this in the bag.
Though, his way of taking care of children might be different from how it is now. Times have changed, there are probably some new and uncomplicated objects or toys to entertain the baby or child. He would love to go on a shopping trip to buy some fascinating kids toys he found in the toy store. Please stop him from buying everything in there because it looks "intriguing".
If you're his s/o, you're very lucky since if you have a baby who always cries at three in the morning or a kid who really have trouble sleeping, Lilia will sing a lullaby and they'll doze off in any second. He can wake up easily or he'll just always stay up playing his games so you don't even need to break a sweat in this situation.
His kids or any kid in general loves him lots. He will always tell his tales anywhere, anytime. If the kids ask him for a story to tell, he will always have a new one ready to tell. They also make amazing bedtime stories! It can be funny little innocent stories like his funny experiences taking care of his three wards to actual battles he went through. Any story is a good story.
He really got along with his child when they're young and innocent but when they get into their teenage years, oh boy. He will unintentionally embarrasses them but their friends won't mind. If anything, they will love him being around as he's always keeping up with the games and trends, not being a fat, shirtless creepy dad. One of the positive parts about his child growing up is that he can play video games with him just like he did with Silver! Reliving the nice memories.
He would always try to cook something in any opportunity he gets and of course, he gets stopped by either s/o or his own children. Yes, they have to go through the hard way to realize their father is garbage at cooking. He would always try to cook some food everytime something good has happen in order to celebrate but most of the times, he just wants to cook something for them to show how much he loves them. They really made him happy, he finally have a biological/adopted offspring to watch growing up (again).
Sebek unfortunately doesn't have that much time to spend time with his children due to being Malleus' trusted escort. Of course, when he does have free time and is not exhausted he will use the opportunity to spend it with his adorable younglings.
Knowing him, he still loves and worships Malleus but he's no longer his only priority in life when he finally has a life of his own other than just being Malleus' bodyguard. He will ramble and tell so many stories about his young master to his kids. They will be infatuated but will later complain about how everything is just "Malleus this, Malleus that". He will get a bit upset about that comment, so he will only talk about Malleus stories for 3 days a week.
He only has focused his life on guarding Malleus and advancing himself on magic and education. Now that he's now an actual father, this is a new chapter in his life and he's not prepared at all. He will seek Lilia for guidance and of course, Lilia being Lilia will rope him to doing something absolutely ridiculous and he would of course, woefully fall for it. Pretty surprising that no matter how much he has fallen for his teacher's trap, he still seeks him for advice.
His kids will definitely learn how to read fast. He loves reading and he really wants his kids to appreciate it too. He was about to immediately give them the books that have old and poetic language without even knowing what the alphabet was. Lilia put a stop to this and you couldn't even bear seeing how sad he looked because he needs to wait for a few years for him to have little reading buddies. Oh well, it doesn't matter now. He will teach them how to read and appreciate the art of reading no matter how long it takes.
He has exposed his children to a bunch of Malleus propaganda so there's no surprise if the children become just like him. Loud screaming, Malleus worshipping, smart but naive and other things Sebek has. If you're his s/o, please keep the children in check as they might cause problems to the neighbors. As this might be troublesome, it's at least entertaining experience I suppose.
Just like Sebek, he has even less time to spend with his kids as he always has modeling, acting and other businesses to attend. He's probably going to be exhausted when he comes back as well. Though, of course he's going to try to use all his energy to talk to his children till he can no longer open his eyes anymore. He prefers an s/o that is a stay-in mom/dad so the children won't feel lonely while he's gone.
They're definitely gonna grow up just like him. A model, actor, media influencer, or the combination of the three and it's not a bad thing. If they're going on the same route as him, he will teach them in a strict but still in a somewhat caring manner as he has learned a lot from his experience of the VDC boot camp and the overblot incident. He will only show his threatening side if they start to misbehave like those ADeuce rats.
Just because they are his children, doesn't mean they get a free pass if they intentionally neglect or not doing their best at all times, especially when it comes to appearance. He's known to be a neat-freak and a very hard worker to the point it's concerning. He will scold them if more than two pimples pop up on their face but he knows when to cross the line. He learned this easier if their child is rather sensitive and just emotionally fragile in general but they still need to take care of themselves.
He expects his children to follow his footsteps when it comes to where they're schooling. He wants them to enter a prestigious school like he did for his reputation and for the sake of his children's future. This is optional (not really) but he also hopes his children to enter Pomefiore as well and take the dorm head title at least the second week they enroll in this school. If they were sorted to a different dorm, they still want them to have a role in their dorm or in the school at all.
He begs to the Great Seven that paparazzi or desperate losers obsessing over him don't intrude into his personal life, especially if it's about his family. The last thing he wants to witness is his family in pain or being uncomfortable for their whole life. He usually avoids or straight up tells the interviewer that he's not comfortable answering questions when they're going too personal when it's about questions of his family.
You cannot feel anymore blessed when you see his smiling face when he received news about having a vacation. He can finally spend more time with his wonderful kids he's raising with all his heart. He will tell them about some funny incidents in the studio while he was involved in some modeling gig or he will bring them to a private island with gorgeous scenery for both of them to enjoy. Of course, his children's happy faces are more beautiful than the island.
Floyd is seen to be very warm and sweet despite having a very intimidating height. Naturally, he's not going to be ruthless and act the same when it's with his children because it's his children of course, family is precious to him. He has a lot of energy even after a long shift at Mostro Lounge, so he will always spend a lot of time with his kids.
He's physically affectionate so expect him to be always close and wrapping his arms around his children at almost all times. He'll usually let them sit on his lap when they watch TV or sleep with them if they can't go back to sleep because of a nightmare. Headpats are needed, especially if the kids did something good or got good news. Not saying he won't give any headpats if something bad happens, maybe headpats of sympathy perhaps.
He's very patient when it's with his children because he doesn't want his children to fear him when they grow up. If anything, the s/o have to do the scolding to avoid him snapping or anything like the sort. They rarely do anything bad though, since they're aware of how their dad acts from how he treats a dirty burglar who once tried to break in.
Since he's usually very active and hates just standing around, he expects his children to be just like him. It's never boring if your dad is Floyd as he always has something really entertaining to do at most times. If you're his s/o, you have the free entrance to see an eel man dancing around with his kids or playing some basketball either inside or preferably in the backyard. He tried showing the art of parkour but is stopped due to it being very risky. He sulked about this but oh well, once they're ten, they have no choice but to learn it!
Floyd is an amazing cook and he sometimes lets his children be involved like chopping some vegetables or stirring the macaroni. He sometimes teaches them the perfect way of doing it or let's them try doing their own meal with his assistance. There was one time they decided to make one of the weirdest food combinations and try to eat it, he won and ate it all as it was too gross for the kids to eat it. It's not gonna be a surprise if everyone in this household is an expert cook when Floyd is here.
If possible, he really wants to bring his kids at work no matter how troublesome they could get. If Azul has a "bring your kids to work" day (which I doubt of him doing), he's going to bring all his children no matter how many he has. If there's no day like that, who cares! He's bringing his kids anyway and nobody's stopping him. Sure, he will get scolded by Azul but if that's the only thing stopping him then he'll take his chances.
I don't if it's still Christmas or not since I don't celebrate it but if it's still is, Merry Christmas! 🎉 I'll just say this is a Christmas gift for you and your friend, Mouaietaru! Especially for that Jamil and Silver fanfic that you made. It's very good, keep up the fantastic work! ✨✨✨
-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎
#twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#twst writing#twst riddle#riddle rosehearts#riddle x reader#twst lilia#lilia vanrouge#lilia x reader#twst sebek#sebek zigvolt#sebek x reader#twst vil#vil schoenheit#vil x reader#twst floyd#floyd leech#floyd x reader#twisted wonderland x mc#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x you#x gn reader#gn reader
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If Slashers had horny Tumblrs...
What it says on the tin! HC post for if Jason, Bubba, Brahms, & Billy (Lenz) had their own tumblrs for horny content. (18+ only)
If you like these, feel free to send a request for other characters if you want :D
Contains : adult content, discussions of kink & brief mention of sexual harassment
Jason Voorhees
Very barebones bio that gives some basic info - his age, his gender/pronouns, and a warning this blog contains adult content.
Doesn’t get updated often, and it’s usually all at night. Mostly consists of content he reblogs from different creators (artists/sex workers, etc)
Don’t expect a fancy theme or anything - he only uses his phone for horny content since he shares a computer with his sweet old boomer mom.
A good mix - largely pictures people post of themselves or art he likes. Sometimes he’s in a Mood and reblogs a bunch of very specific kinky posts - text posts with affirmations from doms, risqué art, gif sets of people in gear.
He doesn’t have a huge following or anything, just a handful of mutuals and spam bots he doesn’t clear out frequently. But when he posts anything he thinks could be too intense he makes sure to tag it with warnings, just in case.
Sometimes leaves little compliments for people - he’s usually too shy to message people directly but he’ll reblog their posts and say nice things in the tags. Nothing too forward, usually things like “you look so handsome here!”
Bubba Sawyer
Makes sure not to put any identifying info but he usually puts his age/vague age range (“in my 30s”) because people ask for that.
A collection of stuff he likes, mostly pictures or gifs or the odd video or audio post.
A lot of mostly vanilla content - again, what turns him on, what he can jerk it to easily. Stuff he can focus on when he’s really trying to get off. I feel like he’s more likely to reblog a gif set of people just going at it or pictures of a hot person in lingerie or cute undies than anything with too much of a kink/fetish focus. But not always.
I’m not sure if our Bubba can read/write very well so I can’t see him reblogging or writing long text posts, but there will be a few short ones here and there.
He’s a little too nervous to post intimate pics publicly but I can see him on a very very confident day posting pics of just his hands after seeing people talk abt how they like strong hands.
Again, doesn’t write a lot, so he doesn’t add comments to reblogs or anything
He may leave nice things in tags tho! Like Jason he sometimes leaves little compliments for people whose content he reblogs (ur dress is so pretty!). Sometimes he tags things with certain emojis that seem to have some kind of meaning… a mood he’s in… or maybe they remind him of someone he likes?
Brahms Heelshire
VERY detailed very organized pinned post with info about him including a list of his kinks, and what interactions he wants/doesn’t want. Also, places to send him tribute. Not that he needs the money, of course, but he wouldn’t mind if you got him something off his wishlist. (Wink wink nudge nudge.)
I see him as a switch who leans heavily towards submissive with a bratty streak. However people tend to assume he’s more dominant since he reblogs more dom centered text posts (he’s usually imagining he’s the sub in those scenarios).
Has a decent following since he will periodically produce a lot of original content - mostly text posts, or audio, and the occasional picture where his face is obscured and no naughty bits are showing directly. He errs on the side of caution since he doesn’t want to get struck down by the tumblr nipple police, and also because are you kidding me his family has a reputation to uphold, he can’t afford to get caught
Tumblr is his main horny platform of choice because he finds it easier to organize content he likes into an archive, and there’s more privacy. He tried making an nsfw account on other platforms before, but because of linked accounts and email fuckery he got recommended to follow a family friend and nearly shat himself. (He has a good handle on privacy and he knows that person couldn’t find him - he double checked his privacy settings after that - but it still scared him off that website, at least for that purpose.)
Because he has a decent following he also has a few mutuals he’s messaged periodically. He’s varying degrees of close - some only know him from his posts, some know his main tumblr, some may even be following him on other platforms as “long distance friends”
Every once in a while debates about having his own server for his simps followers, but he’s not sure about using his discord where he keeps in touch with friends/family for it or making a new one. You’re welcome to message him if you’re mutuals or you send him some cash first ❤️
Billy Lenz
What do you mean, “horny on main”? What, like you have an alt?
His blog is like, 98% porn but every once in a while he’ll reblog a non porn post to get into an argument.
“You sure have a lot of opinions on Canadian politics for a hentai blog 🤔”
Mostly an archive of stuff he finds hot at the time, without rhyme or reason - reblogs, links to other websites, etc. mostly chaos, but it seems like every once in a while he tries to have some kind of tagging system.
He sometimes posts original content - sometimes rambling text posts about the kind of sex he wants to have, very rarely pictures of himself. that he deletes immediately after in fear of getting flagged.
When it comes to audio posts… the Moaner lives up to his name. Although he’s not skilled with recording - clearly doing it on his phone - His audios aren’t half bad if you can find them. Usually captioned with something about how he made them or what he was thinking about when he made them.
Let’s be real, canon Billy had like no concept of consent. Or just didn’t care, because he wanted to scare and intimidate people. He’s definitely been blocked by people for sending creepy messages/asks or adding unwanted captions to their posts. When he wants to hit on someone in a way that means they may reciprocate, he’s nicer, but people are still (understandably) put off by him.
At his most polite though, he’d be the type to send an ask to someone saying he hopes they come to Toronto so that he can eat their hot pink cunt and make them cum on his thick tongue and fat, juicy cock. (This is regardless of factors like their actual location, whether or not they have a cunt, or travel guidelines due to the pandemic.)
#slasher fandom#jason voorhees#bubba sawyer#brahms heelshire#billy lenz#slasher imagines#lemon#nsft#noises from the attic#first post like this im nervous#who would u follow tho? i can see myself following brahms tbh#nasty attic originals
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You said a while back that while Supergiant games (Bastion, Transistor, Hades) was mostly okay, you had some words about them. I was curious as to what those words were, since Hades' full release is soon.
okay. alright. ive been playing hades lately so i definitely want to give my two cents (or dollars by the size this is gonna get). but let’s go Step by Step
the good: i want to throw a whole Endorsement over supergiant games with the art direction and its characters, which is what keeps me coming back again and again, and what i can assume is that most people are attracted to.
gameplaywise, they have a Format they stick to which has become their staple, not to their detriment but to their advantage, like... gameplay tropes, so to speak, that they stick to (such as the addition of special conditions that give a disadvantage in exchange for more long-term rewards)
i fucking adore that they take one concept per game, go for it, and when they’re done they are Done; they don’t bother with sequels, they don’t want to run things to the ground and i fucking respect that. They have their themes, and they stick to them (to various degrees of success).
that said, like every piece of media, they are not perfect and this has to be analysed and spoken about
CONTENT WARNINGS: genocide and ethnic cleansing, antisemitism, misogyny, homophobia, suicide, and mentions of incest, and a general Spoilers warning
bastion: touches on ethnic cleansing, and not in a way i’d say is satisfactory. our narrator and one of our Sympathetic characters is one of the men who worked on a world-ending weapon meant to use against the Ura (a group of people coded as East Asian) which after a bit of googling is literally called “the final solution” if there was ever a war between the Ura and the Cael (who feel like rly tan white people to me). jesus fucking CHRIST.
we also meet more Ura other than our two named characters and we have to kill most of them. so that fucking blows.
the game tries for “being a genocidal monster will get you fucked up and blown up” which duh, but i feel we shouldn’t have had a person responsible for war crimes be one of our friends no matter how bad he feels about the whole thing, or the people victim of war crimes become villains in the latter half of the game. zia’s father could’ve taken ruck’s role ez pz.
transistor: the weakest of their games, imo; the lore and writing are fairly flimsy and i did not come out feeling Satisfied, especially because it had this rly good build-up that did not pay off. not to mention... their villains? 3/4 were gay people. lol. two married guys (not even explicit, you only realize by their shared last names) and the ps*cho lesbian trope (iirc she wanted to kill the protagonist’s lover or something). the female protagonist also ends up killing herself to live forever in a digital paradise with her dead lover. it’s. god.
very Aesthetic, GORGEOUS music, interesting gameplay; had potential, i do not feel like it lived up to it at least as far as the story goes.
pyre: now this one. this one’s BEEFY. where transistor felt flimsy, pyre is rich; lots to sink your teeth into, rich in lore and loveable characters, again w the beautiful music, themes of cooperation and togetherness. my favorite of the cast is volfred sandalwood, the only Black (or, well, Black-coded) revolutionary i’ve ever seen portrayed with this amount of sympathy.
onto the bad: they literally have a Class of character named “Savage”; there’s the “mystical mentally ill person” trope; there is an overwhelming amount of explicit m/f pairs (one of them being. a romance that formed in a single day and then both of the characters were somehow willing to risk it all for each other? PLEASE) while the only hints of gayness are... hints. especially when Jodariel (another of my favs) is teased to have feelings for the player regardless of gender then only gets an ending with a male character with whom she has nothing in common 🙃
hades: and now. this one. music: gorgeous. character designs: spectacular (aphrodite is straight up naked but it’s so... natural and casual, it doesn’t feel sexualized at all). voice acting amazing. character interactions charming and endearing. as a greek mythology nerd, it was nice to see them go for the obscure shit like Zagreus at all, NOT portray Persephone and Hades as a loving couple, AND portrayed the gods as the bunch of petty assholes (some more benevolent than others) that they are. imo they’re too generous with their portrayal of achilles but i’ll allow it.
and finally... it seems all those criticisms about having all the gay characters hidden in the shadows paid off, cuz we got (aside of patroclus and achilles) a bisexual polyamorous protag. Holy Shit! and it’s not even playersexual, romance whomever you want shit without the routes recognizing each other: he explicitly talks about how he’s thinking abt them both (though it’s like “yeah usually mortals take one lover but gods love many huh” polyamory is a human thing too bro!!!!!)
and this is where it all goes, well, at least vaguely downhill lol. ok so the incest warning i gave up there? well. it’s not... outright incestuous. but it has some ugly implications. i want to emphasize: the characters never refer to each other as siblings, nor do they treat each other as such (thanatos, in fact, only recognizes hypnos as his brother, and megaera only sees the other furies as her sisters), but they were all raised by the same woman, Nyx... zagreus and thanatos even grew up together (im assuming megaera didnt meet zagreus until he was fully grown).
this is complicated even worse by the fact that they tried to trick zagreus into believing Nyx was his mother. he realized pretty early on this was not true but like... adoptive mothers, anyone? granted i can believe that bc of the attempt at deception that probably ruptured any attempt at actual familial closeness, and it’s not like hypnos and thanatos saw zagreus as their brother at any point, so they were p much aware of the truth too. with the fact that thanatos even looks like goth miles edgeworth (im not kidding you can google him up right now its literally edgeworth in a cowl) i rly feel they were aiming for Childhood Friend Anime Rival Man than the “surprise kiss bc ur not actually related <3″ shit. zagreus never once refers to nyx as his mother in-game, and also refers to thanatos and hypnos as her sons, never his brothers.
so yeah, like. if one’s feeling generous, zagreus and thanatos are more of a “my father is emotionally closed off and neglects me so my best friend’s mother basically raised me” kind of situation... just pulled off in, perhaps, the worst way possible (why didnt they just say Zagreus was told Hekate was his mom, that’s such an easy fix? or that he was born of nobody other than Hades??? [gestures at athena])
but then, the gods. aaaaaaaahhhhahahahh the gods. demeter shows up! and she calls zeus, hades and poseidon... her foster-brothers. which somehow would make the persephone thing less fucking awful, apparently. they really. really really did not need to do that. she could’ve just said “my fellow gods” or whatever. or my “god-brothers” or something, to pretend it was just a weird god alliance thing??? i dont know but implying that foster family isn’t family is just... bro, the dynamics still exist.
Don’t Like That.
i even contacted supergiant games over this. they reassured me they were even trying to avoid the incest of the original myths bc they didn’t want to mess with such a heavy theme. i believe them... but i really think they didn’t think this through. compared to something like fire emblem fates this is nearly benign, but the implications don’t look good :/
tl;dr of the tl;drs: i admire their artistic philosophy and the heavy emphasis on fresh gameplay, characters and their relationships; i appreciate that it seems that they listen to criticism?; i don’t appreciate that they didn’t think to at LEAST talk to adoptees when making a game about family.
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okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!
also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)
the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓
you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(
now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol
OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY
PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha
LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ
now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)
(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓
me reading this:
also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺
i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg
yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao
and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰
Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs
I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it
GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG
^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film
I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)
47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)
oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀
and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)
++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌
#ok i wrote some if this on the tube/on the bus/at the dentist/in bed so if this seems like it’s all over the place#that’s bc i was literally all over the place skshg#*of#also i love how you used tags skajahsg#lovely anon#<3#sorry if some of the sentences didn‘t make sense or were too fucking long i wrote half of this half asleep#and i know i dont have to apologise but still like no one should have to read all my page long sentences that arent even proper sentencesskk
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hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !! slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664. a humble pinterest.
『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.
this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with
mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me
background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done
has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration
in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides. occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life
her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from
wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them
when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time
working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy
part 2 - interior / values / personality
values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....
massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand
has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch
assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi
literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense
somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders
values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.
aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.
she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.
very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her. like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect
loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.
im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse
really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down
listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy
ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.
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1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? um,,? I would assume I was a young adult ig?
2.Which is worse, failing or never trying? never trying, b/c you would never know if you were good or not. 3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? idk..man because we feel forced by society 4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done ? I hope not. 5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? I wish people would stop flexing. 6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? spending time with my loved ones tbh, and making art. 7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? rn i am in college so 8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? no different. 9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? a little, im trying to fix it. 10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? doing things right..i always think im gonna be a failure. 11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I would let them know that she is my friend and i find it disrespectful of what theyre saying. 12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Honestly, dont worry about what others say. do what you want. 13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? yeah i would.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Yeah look at most art lol 15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Im not sure... 16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? because were all just different people? 17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? travel really. I want to see more of the world and cultures.
18. What’s holding you back? money.
19. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? yeah my fathers death.
20. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? maybe the UK? and Idk its different and i dont wanna live in the us. 21. Do you push the elevator button more than once? not really. 22. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? joyful 23. Why are you, you? life experiences.
24. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I think i have but i do have a lot to work on. 25. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? losing touch. it sucks when you can feel them slipping away right from your fingers and you cant change it. we live in a world where face time is a thing so when someone moves it doesnt feel that much different. 26. What are you most grateful for? My mom 27. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? fuck. Never make new ones. 28. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? idk..? 29. What is your greatest fear? Has it ever come true? Drowning. lol
30. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? it wouldve been either when my friend hurt me or when my dad had died. so yeah. 31. What is your happiest childhood memory? vaca with dad
32. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? im not sure.. 33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? idk. 34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Of course, sometimes the best people are the people you dont have to make up a lot of words. 35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Cus humans. 36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? yes and no. we all have our set of morals. for sure murder is evil..i would hope everyone would agree. 37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? yes. even tho i just got it but like i hate working LOL. 38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? more work i like to do 39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? yes.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? what
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? i would try to see them all lol
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Of course LOL
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? alive is just doing ur boring ass shit every day but living is like actually doing what u love lol 44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? you just know tbh 45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? because we dont wanna look stupid or hurt others. depending on the mistake. 46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? dress better and be more active with my social media career. 47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? right now 48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? i love art, i always have. it just lets me express myself without feeling weird. 49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? i will for sure b/c i just started working at this shit job so ill for sure remember this. i better not be here in 5 years or ill kms. 50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? myself but i always ask ppl for advice to help me. so both?
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wait i actually have more weirdly specific questions (if ur up to it) - how do the kids feel about poetry? do they follow any sports? what childhood tv shows were their favs? do they have celebrity crushes? fav coming of age movie? how are they doing in quarantine? what time in history were they obsessed w as a kid? have they ever been to summer camp? what type of candles do they like? what song do they cry to? how do they drink their coffee/tea sorry if u’ve answered already/too many questions
wooooo thank you for your patience iz!! we’re gonna go point by point
poetry?
charlie loves it genuinely and will read it for fun. riley likes it enough but doesn’t go out of her way to read it. farkle loves coming up with insane explanations for the metaphors and is smug about interpreting it in class. zay doesn’t care for it, neither does lucas. asher appreciates it but finds it boring; dylan likes it for the same reason farkle does, only not to look smart but to come up with something completely crackheaded to combat farkle’s interpretation (which he can’t then say isn’t correct, bc its poetry, so all interpretations are valid!). isa doesn’t like it because she doesn’t get the metaphors on paper the same way she can pick them up in film. maya hates it even though multiple people have pointed out that song lyrics are basically poetry -- she will tune you out.
sports?
sports aren’t Big at aaa (aside from dance), but there are remnants here and there. riley follows basketball of course -- even tho as demonstrated in 110, she cannot play it to save herself -- and she tried out for cheer in 9th grade at her old school but was rejected from the squad (another bad mark on a terrible year). farkle prefers wii sports over any actual sport, but will sometimes watch golf with stuart because it’s quality time with his very busy father. charlie did soccer when he was younger before it got phased out by dance and semi keeps up with it. dylan also “played” soccer, but this meant the other little league teammates getting pissed at him bc he never paid attention to the game and was just like “hey! hey, dennis, look at this!” and did like 3 cartwheels across the field. it was a smart move when randall pulled him from the team bc those intense soccer moms were gonna like beat them up fDJSKG. so now dylan is just an unofficial gymnast instead.
isa doesn’t like sports but played them a lot with foster siblings, and even though she sucks she gets very competitive. lucas liked baseball and was good at track in middle school, but he never thought about doing a sport for real because he knew he was going to quincy eventually where his dad is a coach... yeah. no. but he’s great at running fast from the police!
maya hates sports (aside from the art of dance). waste of time, waste of energy. asher has never done a sport nor ever contemplated a sport. the most Sport he’s endured is going with jade to support dave at his swim meets (where nigel also does swim) and suffice to say, asher wasn’t there to look at the swimming.
childhood tv?
dylan to this day is a spongebob squarepants STAN. legend, icon, scholar, best television show ever made, in his opinion. he also was well-versed in pokemon, adventure time, gravity falls, and phineas and ferb. asher and lucas both didn’t watch lots of tv growing up (if at all), so dylan considers it his job to give asher a thorough education in the quality tv he missed as a kid.
maya was all over hannah montana (miley is still a role model to this day for her), and she, zay, and charlie all remember the fever dream that was shake it up. zay especially loved it bc he was (is) obsessed with zendaya. zay and maya both also watched victorious. charlie was sharing a tv with four siblings so he just ended up watching whatever the dominant sister that day wanted to watch. riley was a disney channel girl, and farkle was a pbs scholar (arthur, cyber chase, fetch! with ruff ruff man... classics).
celebrity crushes?
zay = zendaya (as previously mentioned). charlie = harry styles to a major degree, although his Cover Story would be zendaya if you asked (ironically). maya = britney spears (but in a I Want To Be Her way, major idolization rather than attraction) and technically the same for valerie de la cruz but like... rip to that lmao. isa = loki, yes we know, but sometimes it be that way (altho that does extend a little bit towards tom hiddleston in general). asher = logan lerman, aka the main valid white boy who dresses nice, is polite and soft-spoken, and minds his own business (not to mention he is the Same Type as dylan). dylan = had crushes more on like... personalities so like ash ketchum and percy jackson, and now its irrelevant bc he met asher and became obsessed and its like every other potential crush just flew out the window of his brain. it’s full asher territory in there nowadays.
riley doesn’t have a specific one, she thinks lots of people are Pretty but no one particularly strongly. farkle doesn’t have one because he’s insane and doesn’t have the mental capacity. lucas doesn’t have one because he’s demi and also hates most celebrities as people.
coming-of-age movie?
maya’s is mean girls. farkle’s is ladybird. zay’s is easy a. riley’s is bend it like beckham. isadora’s is eighth grade. charlie’s is dead poet’s society. asher’s is perks of being a wallflower. dylan’s is spiderman: into the spiderverse. lucas doesn’t know movies.
quarantine?
we’ve somewhat discussed this before, but ultimately es and i elected to let aaa remain in a nice, calm universe where they don’t have to endure covid. lucky them. blow a kiss to the ether for us, buds,
fave time in history?
riley is huge on ancient greece and greek mythology. maya loves the theatricality and Drama of the roaring 20s (a baby flapper at heart). zay vibes hard with the 80s. charlie likes the fashion and romanticism and music and art of the 70s (that sort of flowery positivity clashing with the rebelliousness of the movements of the 60s... yeah. that hits something in him). farkle’s is the great depression not only bc he’s an emo but also all the raw and desperate art that came out of it. isadora was a egyptian mythology kid. i know lucas sounds lame (he is), but i don’t think he cares about history -- but if pushed he’d probably say the 90s bc he dresses like he’s straight out of there, everyone was angry rocking, and he wasn’t born. asher likes the victorian era bc of the sheer elegance and Aesthetic to everything. dylan doesn’t have a favorite time period because due to being the subconscious multiverse conduit (i.e. the being that is somewhat connected to every other version of himself) sometimes he wakes up and for a minute he doesn’t even know what year it is 🤪anyway...
summer camp?
charlie has been to many a christian youth summer camp. zay went to the kossal program, but that was basically it. lucas no although he probably wished he could be anywhere else during the summer sometimes including a camp he would hate. riley went for a few years in elementary school. isa has gone to a couple of “foster kid” summer camp bonding things that she despised. farkle went to jewish summer camp One time and was like that was HORRIBLE, never make me spend a whole summer outside AGAIN. asher was more of a Enrichment courses at the rec center during the summer kid than a camper. dylan no because the orlandos couldn’t afford something like that. same for maya.
candles?
riley has a small variety of scented ones that are like... warm scents, like cinnamon and stuff. asher a couple that smell like clean linen but his fear of accidental fires keeps him from ever lighting them. maya has one and it smells like “star power,” a gift from her mom one christmas. isadora can’t have any because many of her foster homes don’t allow them. lucas legally shouldn’t be allowed anything that catches on fire. dylan doesn’t have one but similarly should not be given one. the minki have a whole collection for different things so farkle can just pluck one at any time if he needs one like for a super fancy bath or whatever the fuck rich people do.
mental breakdown song?
charlie’s are “falling” and “from the dining table” by harry styles.
riley’s is “manhattan” by sara bareilles and “rainbow” by kacey musgraves.
zay’s are “imagine” by ariana and “dear life” from the step up soundtrack (post zc breakup).
farkle’s are “vienna” by billy joel and “get it right” from glee.
asher’s is “don’t cry” by ruel.
isa’s is “you are my sunshine” because valerie used to sing it to her a lot when she was really little, so it will always make her a little emotional.
dylan’s (although rare) are “soon you’ll get better” by ts and “make you feel my love” by adele. the second one is because his mom loved adele when she was just starting out bc 19 was released the same year that she passed away so there’s a lot of like subconscious association there even if he doesn’t realize it.
maya doesn’t have one, and lucas also doesn’t have one because in the rare moments he does cry its in his closet in the dark silence alone bc he literally can’t stand the sentience of knowing he’s crying so. sensory blackout.
coffee / tea?
riley will add at least 3 sugars to anything, but she’s ultimately an iced tea gal. lucas drinks it black but only because it never occurred to him to add anything to it and so it’s a big wake up call when he realizes you can drink it and have it NOT be bitter and horrible and demoralizing ( “i thought we were all just suffering for the caffeine fix??” ). isa is a tea girl mostly, although she wishes she could drink black coffee for the aesthetic (and hates that lucas can... it’s like... he didn’t even Earn that aestheticism, smh). asher doesn’t drink caffeine bc it makes him Jittery (and he’s already jittery) so he’s like... the lemonade bitch at coffee shops which kin, and then dylan definitely drinks caffeine but not thru coffee, he’s more likely to get like a hot chocolate.
farkle lives on coffee but he can only drink it from home because they’re rich and can have like fresh ground good imported whatever the heck etc etc so he’s like spoiled about coffee. zay will hit up a starbucks now and then and will order coffee at a diner, but he’s not too attached either way. maya is a fun n free starbucks gal with her frappes and lattes and lots of cream (whipped or otherwise). charlie doesn’t drink coffee or tea bc hes hyper aware of his body and health (he doesn’t really have soda either) and it was frowned upon in his house.
#this was a HEARTY helping of questions. lots to unpack there#thanks izzy!! fun for me and es to go thru#ambition quarantine 2020#aaa friday#you didnt technicalyl send this on friday but im counting it#front nine#thebestofabaddeal#answered
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ok this is like. MAJORLY self-indulgent, self-psychoanalyzing rambling so I’m putting it under a readmore, but my thoughts have been spinning in circles over this for like. practically my whole teen/adult life. and I just need to put it down somewhere
idc if anyone wants to read this or respond or anything, again I’m just basically trying to vomit out my thoughts until something makes sense
so like. anxiety. I know I have it, that’s the ONE Problems Disorder I’m 100% certain I’ve got, to whatever degree it matters
but that’s kinda the thing-- to WHAT degree, and DOES that matter? at what point can I say it’s a legitimate part of me, and at what point is it something negligible and unobtrusive?
b/c here’s the other thing-- anxiety is, in fact, a strong aspect of my self-image. it’s something I associate strongly with as a character trait, and I tend to relate to ‘meek’ characters
I know part of it is a defense mechanism. I had to make myself small, being raised by my mom. she’s a whole other rant, but essentially she’s a very defensively prideful person, and any attempt to steer a conversation towards your own accomplishments/needs/interests is met with a blank look and a swift topic change back to herself. (and god forbid u bring up her faults, that would guarantee manipulative guilt-tripping at best, screaming and crying at worst)
but there’s also another convoluted level to this defense mechanism. I recognized at a young age, on some subconscious level, that pride was/is my mom’s greatest downfall. so I internalized that as, “pride (and even more broadly, confidence) is bad and and a danger to those around you”
not to be Homestuck on main, but Dave’s first conversation with Dirk struck me on a level of personal experience that few other pieces of media have ever hit, particularly this bit
obviously the physical aspect of this abuse is beyond me, but the emotional manipulation, and Bro subsequently ruining a generally positive concept (the concept of heroism, in his case) hits incredibly close to home
my mom exuded confidence and always told me that confidence in myself over all else would save me, but she ultimately ruined confidence for me. I know there will always be this underlying thread of fear that if I’m not afraid-- that if I allow myself confidence-- that I will become like her. that I’ll hurt people with my pride
now this is all shit that I’ve known abt myself for a long time, and I know I’ve even mentioned some of this in passing before. but here’s what’s fucking me up nowadays: what happens when you cling to anxiety like this? what happens when you craft a disorder into your personality? where does subconscious reaction end and deliberate masking begin?
b/c here’s the other thing: I don’t truly hate myself. not rly-- not on the level I would say is dangerous or clinical. some of it may very well be real, but I definitely play it up. like play-acting at under-confidence
and it’s not like I don’t have pride either. I have tons of pride for various things I do or accomplish, namely academic studies, crafting/art, and just like working standards in general. when I can eloquently describe/argue my point, or accurately craft something to my inner image, I feel very real pride
but pride hurts. I feel pride, but equal to that is the shame I feel at feeling pride in the first place. it’s genuinely painful at times to accept a compliment without argument NOT because I necessarily disagree (tho there are definitely times where I DO actually disagree), but to accept a compliment is to admit I have pride in the thing being complimented, and THAT is unacceptable
and it’s not like my fear is unfounded either. I’ve hurt ppl w/ my pride before-- and this isn’t my anxiety making me self-critical, I KNOW this for a FACT. it simply comes with the territory of all that “gifted child” bullshit in school. yeah I was one of those. thankfully not a very outspoken student (the anxiety in my younger days was a lot more real and visceral), but I do still distinctly remember moments where my academic pride gave me an... inflated sense of presence over those that didn’t get the material, I guess u could say
I know there were times I made ppl feel small, due to my pride. hell, times I got overly, fearfully defensive of my knowledge or artistic skill to the point of talking over others and making them feel stupid. no one deserves to feel small, and it fucking tears me up to know that I did that to ppl. that I still knee-jerk react in that way sometimes, even now, and it still slips out
and isn’t that just proof that I can’t appropriately handle pride? that I’m not mature enough for confidence?
and it’s not even all about making myself small for others’ sake. half of it is this incredibly selfish knowledge that not living up to my own standards will fucking kill me if I let it
I feel like every ‘gifted kid’ experiences a chain events that starts at, “wow I’m so smart, I’m great at every subject!” and ends at, “christ I’m fucking garbage at literally everything.” we’re taught that success is in being able to do something well the first time (or at least quickly and with little effort), so if we’re not immediately good at something, we shut down b/c we were never taught that success is actually in the effort at the task
this has been talked to death by others so I don’t want to bother w/ it too long, but the critical thing to note is that there’s there’s this eventual sense of defeat in everything you do, when ur brought up w/ this mindset
I used to be somewhat competitive in certain things when I was younger-- the rare sports I played when I was RLY young, academics obviously, etc. or at least, competitive with my own personal standards, if not necessarily against other ppl. but every failure and mistake made me so upset that the angst was like. genuinely dangerous to my health
I used to play golf on a team in middle school, and every time I whiffed it I would get SO angry at myself that my dad literally told me that that level of upset would kill me someday and that I rly needed to stop
so I took that to heart and just. stopped caring
every time I whiffed it after that point, I was just like, “ah, well, what can ya do ¯|_(ツ)_/¯ ” this attitude definitely lowered my blood pressure, but it also rly killed my motivation to like... improve. b/c the thought of even trying to improve brought up all these feelings abt trying to meet my own standards of success, and how much it would hurt to fail
when u don’t set any standards u gotta meet, then when u fail u don’t rly fail, y’know? “well I didn’t even try, so it’s actually fine”
obviously I couldn’t give less of a shit abt golf anymore, but sometimes I wonder if my cold-turkey drop in confidence played a part in killing the interest itself? I know that sports and physical activity were never rly my thing in the first place, but did I perhaps give up so hard that I convinced myself that I didn’t even like those things in the first place?
I know it happened w/ academics at least: start to struggle with math? now I hate math. chemistry? that sucks too. etc etc
I kinda side-tracked here w/ all the talk of ‘gifted kid’ stuff, my point is that I have a vested interest in humbling myself-- to actively craft the persona of a meek, humble person
and I’ve been wondering if that, in and of itself, is manipulative. like, is it manipulative to let others think I rly lack THAT much in self-confidence? that I rly hate myself that much?
it certainly feels that way when I knee-jerk reject a compliment abt something I do, in fact, feel pride in-- when the shame at that pride is too much. but my friends don’t know it’s that reactive shame-- they think it’s that I rly don’t have confidence in that thing
but god, how do I even explain this fucking tangled, convoluted bullshit over my reaction to compliments? that I have to be small or I’ll hurt someone? that I do feel pride, and that’s the problem? what does that even MEAN to someone outside my own head??
and that’s not even to get into whether that manipulation is like, actually some subconscious tactic to get MORE compliments! am I fishing? when I make a post like this, am I actually just fishing for more compliments? is that what I’m doing??
I feel like I’m running in circles here, nipping at my own goddamned heels abt pride and shame and what is real and acting and does it even matter if nobody gets hurt?
do people get hurt? ppl get hurt when I allow myself pride, it’s happened before. but now I’m realizing that my self-hate may hurt ppl too-- my self-deprecation often goes too far, and it hurts the ppl who care abt me
how do I explain that self-deprecation is safe? a shield to hold back my pride? hell, it’s more accurate to say it’s a safe way to EXPRESS my pride in a way that ppl don’t detect. I acknowledge my faults, and if I frame it in a socially-acceptably comedic way, I get the pride of making someone laugh! it’s SAFE pride!
but is it? but is it, when it hurts ppl to hear me self-hate?
is there any way to feel pride safely?
I’ve never thought of myself as an actor, or as someone who can lie well (or at all). but can I lie, when I also believe the lie? is it a lie that I have anxiety? that I hate myself? that I have no confidence?
how much of me is real? how much does that hurt others? how do I carve out the parts of me that hurt others how do I make myself smaller in ways that are genuine and lasting and don’t hurt people??
I want to be small. I like being small. but am I small? or am I playing at being small?
I don’t know. I don’t know.
(cashing in on that safe comedic validation babeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)
#long post#shut up ashley#also @ my friends who may read this:#if it feels like I'm vagueing I'm not like. trying to do that#it's just genuinely easier for me to lay this out in an open format#rather than bring it up in a conversation#I have no idea what the FUCK I'm talking abt right now
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Homestuck^2 re: Chapter 3 “How Are Your Feelings” p96-118
So, the next chapter appears to be about an attempted feelings jam.
I think it might be too early yet for the pursuing crew, so maybe we'll have a look at Karkat and Meenah?
Though if there's ever a way for the pursuing crew or Dirk's crew to meet up with the new teens, I'm fully expecting Vrissy to have a "mom?" moment re: Kanaya or Rosebot.
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Page 96
OOoooh!! Okay, so I was wrong.
Hah, that does look like something Jake would do - build a fleet of wildy different space ships.
Plus, it's an emerald pirate ship... In pursuit of a great white whale- I mean shark. Hah!
So yeah... It's been three years since Rose and Kanaya were together. :/
I suspect the crew is made up out of Dave, Karkat, Jade (perhaps possessed) and Roxy. But that'd mean Jane had the run of Earth C for all this time, and Calliope is back there in a worsening political climate.
Hmmm... Maybe Roxy would have chosen to bring their partner along though. Even though Callie is upset by the presence of her other self. In any case, I wonder what they look like! Whether they're still a deadringer for Dave.
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Page 97
Pfff, what an exhaust pipe. I love the visual pun.
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Page 98
Woooww, this reminds me of Problem Sleuth / Midnight Crew visuals! So purple though. Whose room is this, Roxy's? (It might be closer to violet than purple.)
Ooh boy, Calliope's about to take over the narrative. So she hasn't let poor Jade out of her grasp, or at least not definitely.
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Page 99
D'aaaaahh, she's a frickin devil now. PFfffffffff, this is Dave and Karkat's room! Glad to see Davekat's still canon.
I bet this might be a recurring occurence, Jade/Calliope coming in at the most impossible hours bearing ominous tidings.
Hihih, so she's taken over the command box only for now. I suppose it's a clever way to show she could still take over the narrative is she was so inclined.
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Page 100
Dave is more upset with Karkat than Jade, pffff.
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Page 101
Ooooh, new outfits! Wait, Calliope made herself a new outfit. :/ She's getting comfortable in that new body.
Karkat has a Time shirt for a pyjama, hahah. I'm pretty sure he fell on his sweater, which probably still bears the Cancer sign.
Cool to have a squinting version of Dave's sprite. Now all we still need is one with his eyes wide open, but this is a start.
I'd start wondering if Calliope's starting to be a bit lonely, reaching out to Karkat and Dave like this with her message. And yup, she does it all the time. Dave's blasé about it.
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Page 102
Welp! Jade's doing the Possesion 180-degree turn of the head now.
Return of the gross, oil-slick coffee machine from the meteor, maybe? :P
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Page 103
Oh cool, at first glance Roxy's appearance is that jarring. Maybe her coup is a little shorter than before, but not as short as she wore it during the Meat epilogues, near the end. Guess she might be working through some of the same things as Candy Roxy and understanding she doesn't have to go all non-binary if that isn't where her heart is up at in.
Also, cool shades! Though, of course, a Heart is a bit of a faux pas perhaps, giving who they're chasing. :P
So Jade at least spent the first part of the voyage more silent. But as her powers grow, she has more control over Jade's body. :/
Cool, Dave has Karkat's shirt as part of his jammies. Roxy just went with a full on hoodie. At least I think it's her jammies, she's reading at the kitchen table but it's probably still night.
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Page 104
Pfff. Welp. Yes Roxy, mirroring what you think your ancestors were doing ends up looking dumber when you actually meet them in person.
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Page 105
ooooh, okay, so her hair is back to mirroring Dave's coupe. Roxy's hair is a bird pass it on. I love the sprite art, also of the kitchen itself.
Cool to have a comparison is size between meteor and this ship. Though with even less to explore, I can see how things might have grown dull around here. Also confirmation of Roxy's pronoun change, still a thing.
And I have a feeling Dave and Kanaya are in for a feelings jam.
Blaperile has a point, maybe Calliope commands the attention of the narrative, but she commands the narrative itself, so she can make the story follow Dave instead, as he goes to find Kanaya.
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Page 106
Cool, even the inside looks like a pirate ship. Jake's quite taken with matters of appearances, practicalities be damned! :P
I suppose alchemizing a spaceship and a sailing boat would result in still a viable means to cross the void, the physics behind alchemization would ensure it.
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Page 107
That appears to be a different hairstyle or hood. ... Is she wearing a grieving gown?
Maybe she's contemplating how she's ended up here, having to deal with another clown coming between her and her loved ones. I wonder how much harm she's wishing to heap onto Dirk, I mean.
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Page 108
Aww, that rose in her hood.
And yup, Dave has it pinned down: they keep finding themselves either literally or figuratively chasing through the void, with no idea what's coming. You know, remembering how Dave saw the meteor as his first real home, I get the idea he might be the most in his element here. But he knows it's not a healthy pastime.
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Page 109
She's wearing a ribbon much like Rose used to wear.
What story could Rose have reserved for reading to grubs, and what are the odds Vrissy knows the story as well, having been raised by Rose?
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Page 110
It is on point for both Kanaya to read too much into Rose's story, as well as Rose putting all that symbolism in it on purpose.
... Aww, she's really hurting. But through the hurt she's started to wonder, perhaps in an attempt to limit her pain, whether she isn't being manipulated into feeling like this. At this point, it could really be either.
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Page 111
Wow. Okay, Dave's really opening up here to Kanaya. It was actually a relationship I didn't really see evolving due to both of their inherent awkwardness.
But that's Dave for you. If you find a place in his heart, he'll die before he lets you go into harm's way alone.
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Page 113
Turntable gesture! And okay, yes, via Dave it's shown Roxy's back to identifying male after the past few years.
Yes, his and Karkat shit has definitely changed, for one, Karkat almost unabashedly acknowledges they're matesprits back there in the kitchen.
And it's Kanaya who does the title drop after all, not Dave like I was starting to think.
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Page 114
Awww, yeah, Dave is really the only one left of the old B1 crew in a normal state of mind. Here's to hoping his brush with Davebot doesn't leave him in a state like Callie.
And yes, Dirk has shown his true colours, and Dave is feeling like a runt for ever thinking he could be different from his Bro. :/ Poor guy, I feel for him.
Meanwhile, he innocently hopes that Dirk's influence was the only thing causing Jane and Jake not being good leaders for Earth. Too bad we know the alternative is far from good.
Though he's also oversimplifying, since he himself said that Earth C society wasn't sustainable in the long run, they just sped things up.
Aww, he admits to feeling more in his element out here. Yeah, I very much understand that. It's easier to deal with fewer people in your social circles, a lot of the time.
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Page 116
Ah, the other side of the coin. Dave and Kanaya are bonding over Rose. Karkat and Roxy are kind of related as well through Dave.
Oooooh, so Calliope DID come along. Brave of her, with how "Jade" unnerves her so.
Karkat's right, the people that left weren't really so close to him as to others, he mostly here to support Dave! But of course we know he really would be good at leading at least a rebellion. Though it wouldn't really feel fulfilling either.
I wonder what's in store for Karkat, in fact, if it isn't to be a leader.
"KARKAT: I LITERALLY FOUGHT PEOPLE FOR CONTROL OF THE TEAM, AND WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING WAS LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS BESIDES KANAYA DIED. KARKAT: ACTUALLY, SHE DID DIE! KARKAT: FUCK! KARKAT: I’M ZERO FOR ZERO! ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO."
Best interaction. Is Roxy really going to help Karkat deal with something here? :P
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Page 117
Hah! Yes, well, I guess Karkat already has his win state the way he wants it! Though he's still feeling conflicted about it on some level, but that's just the type of person he is.
Roxy's REALLY gunning to make pancakes, hahah. Guess a part of her really is good at the whole caring thing.
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I definitely like the pacing of the chapters so far. Good combo of visuals and conversation.
#homestuck#homestuck^2#reaction#homestuck^2 chapter 3#roxy lalonde#dave strider#kanaya maryam#karkat vantas#alternate calliope#liveblogging homestuck
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Finding Goddess (Chapter 13)
Breakfast was always best when it was eaten with Carol. Not because she was the best cook or anything, but for the simple reason that Katherine was being served by her surrogate mommy! Seeing the older woman roam around the kitchen, pulling various things out of the fridge and cupboards and mixing them together over a hot stove turned her on in more ways than one. Especially since Carol did it wearing nothing but an apron. Seeing her breasts jiggle against the cloth like they were trying to break free while the raven-headed woman's bare butt peaked out adorably from behind was unbelievably sexy. Katherine couldn't imagine anything more mom-like if she tried!
It was enough to make her sigh as she stepped out of the apartment and into her car. She didn't want to go to work. She wanted to stay with her naked mommy, have some more fun with her, marvel at her beautiful body, just for a little while longer. Fate robbed her of the opportunity to spend any quality time with her biological mother; why couldn't she spend all the time she wanted to with her sexy fake mother? Speaking of which, said sexy fake mother was exiting the apartment, no doubt to head out for work herself. She looked the part; her hair was neatly combed, her face was done up, and she had her purse and her briefcase in her hands. The only thing she didn't have were her clothes. She had walked outside stark naked! Katherine completely blanched. What is she...how did...her naked problem! It must be kicking in again! "Mom, Carol, wait!" Katherine shouted as she flung her door open. It was too late. Carol had already slammed her own shut and was pulling out of her building's meager parking lot. Katherine had to act fast! She was parked on the other side of the street opposite her lover's place. If she ran quick enough, maybe, just maybe she could slam into Carol's car and get her attention. Unfortunately, she wasn't quick enough. By the time the black girl's foot hit the sidewalk, Carol was already on the road and zooming away, her car rapidly disappearing over the horizon. Putting more and more distance between her and her clothes. Katherine had to admit, the idea of Carol driving around town and going to work in the buff was really hot! Who knows just how many people's days she would make stepping into the office bouncing breasts first? But...more likely than not, she would just get arrested if she did that. And fired! And Katherine couldn't let that happen, not to her mommy! She whipped out her phone and began texting furiously. She had to tell Carol, had to warn her! Calling her would be better, but knowing the nudist woman, she wouldn't answer it in the car. She was too responsible like that. So Katy did the next best thing: she spammed her girlfriend with messages! 'mom ur naked' 'get dressed' 'hurry' 'gr8 ass btw' Hopefully, the constant stream of alerts would get Carol's attention before she got out of her car and exposed herself to everyone. Because if they didn't... Katherine jumped. She thought she heard a loud screech off in the distance. It sounded like some kind of screaming machine. Or some kind of screaming person. She couldn't be sure. Maybe it was both; a screaming robot person. That would be something. The roaring hum of rolling tires and panicked machinery grew louder as a familiar-looking car suddenly appeared and started to zoom its way in her direction. But before Katherine could utter a sigh of relief over her message to Carol coming through, she was forced to jump back as the car came to a very sudden and very dangerous halt, spinning a near 180 degrees on the road as a certain someone slammed on the brakes a little too hard. SCRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The tires screamed as they grinded on the pavement, no doubt leaving rubber skids marks behind. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The tires' screams turned into Carol's as she flew out of her car in a mad panic, nearly knocking Katherine over as she blazed past her, naked and barefoot as the day she was born. Katherine was amazed the apartment building didn't get itself a new Carol-shaped window. *** The blush didn't fade from either Carol's face or her body. Not while she dressed herself. Not while she got back in her car. Not while she drove to work. Not while she entered the building, rode the elevator, and walked into the office. And it still didn't fade as gravity all but kicked her into her chair with a steel-toed boot. It still burned her every inch of skin, making her look and feel like a lobster in a pot of boiling water. Red, hot, cramped, and ready to blow up at a moment's notice. She thought she was going to get better, but she wasn't. She was getting worse. The thought to put her clothes on didn't cross her mind at all this morning. If Katherine hadn't been there, if Katherine hadn't warned her in time, if Carol's phone had been muted...she would never have realized that she had gone to work butt-naked until it was too late! Waiting out whatever condition was afflicting her wasn't going to do it. Carol had to...had to...had to do something to put an end to it! Because if she didn't, then she'd... "Hey, Carol! Working hard, or hardly working?" Carol stifled both a groan and the urge to bang her head on her desk. A talk with the office clown was the last thing she needed right now. "Not now, Harold," she mumbled. "I'm not having the best day right now." "Sorry to hear that," said her well-meaning co-worker. "What's been going on? Anything I can do to help?" "No there isn't. And I don't wanna talk about it," Carol muttered, too tired and surly to think up a proper excuse. Harold looked like he had more to say, but before he could so much as get another word in, a new voice suddenly spoke up. "Um, Miss...Connors is it?" Carol looked up to see who else decided it was their goddess-given duty to aggravate her and once more resisted the urge to bang her head on the her desk. Of all the people who had to approach her at this bitter hour, it had to be none other than the new intern. The cute, innocent-looking, bespectacled one she nearly bumped into yesterday, and who put all kinds of dirty thoughts into her head. "Yes?" she snapped, not bothering to hide her annoyance. She regretted it immediately when she saw the girl wilt behind the stacks of papers and folders she was holding. "I-I've been told to pass this onto you," the intern stammered. "Elaine Cassidy will be coming in today. They want you to speak to her about her work-in-progress." The blood finally drained from Carol's face. "Elaine...Cassidy? Oh Goddess, no..." The intern wasn't done talking. "And, since they don't know when she'll be here, they want you stationed in Writer's Room 3 for the day so she can have her meeting with you as soon as she gets here." Carol didn't bang her head on her desk, but she did lower her head onto it, burying it in her arms if only to give herself the illusion that she was actually hiding. Because the Goddess only knew how much she really needed to hide! She couldn't see the intern's face, but she was certain the poor girl was likely confused. "And, uh...they suggested you read over her manuscript while you wait for her. To review what you think needs to be revised and all." "Noooooooooooo," Carol moaned into her arms, really wanting to cry right now. "Um, that's all I had to say, so...bye!" said the intern. The rapid padding of her feet indicated she was scurrying away as fast as she could. No doubt she wasn't very comfortable speaking to Carol either. "Goddess damn son of a..." Carol muttered as she pushed herself up, pausing only to meet the baffled gaze of Harold. "Why are you looking at me like that? And what are you still doing here?" "Elaine...Cassidy?" he said. "Is she by any chance related to Jay Elliot Cassidy?" "Yes. She's the daughter of our company's bestselling author," said Carol. "And honestly, that's the only reason she's given the time of day here." "I take it she's a difficult person to work with?" "Difficult, annoying, immature, unprofessional, and very pretentious," said Carol giving her head a rub to soothe the headache that was starting to make itself known. "She thinks she's the Goddess' gift to writing, but she's not. She's terrible! She feels the need to describe every goddesss-damn little thing and action. She spent five whole pages describing a woman putting groceries away! Five pages! Of 'she put this in the fridge and that in the fridge and this in the fridge.' And three whole paragraphs talking about how handsome a man's chin was! I have never read anything more grueling and tedious in my life! And if you try to tell her what's wrong, she gets snippy and accuses you of just not getting her 'art!' It's just...AGGGHHHHH!" "Sounds...difficult," said Harold unhelpfully. "Any idea why they're having you talk to her?" "No clue at all," said Carol. "Maybe I'm the only person here she'll kind of sort of listen to? Or maybe this whole universe just hates me? I don't know!" "I see," said Harold. "By the way, what is this goddess you keep mentioning?" Carol raised an eyebrow worryingly. "G-goddess?" "Yeah, you keep saying 'goddess.' Often wherever most people would say 'god.' Is this some kind of new expression going around? Or did you convert to a new religion?" "I...haven't converted to anything," stammered Carol, who was starting to feel awfully hot again. Hot...and sweaty. "I...I have to go to the Writer's Room right now." "Yeah, I guess you should," said Harold. "Good luck! May the Goddess, whoever she is, be with you for your meeting with Miss Cassidy!" Carol grumbled at his quip as she grabbed her things and got a move on, though she couldn't help but wish it would actually be true. Goddess knew she could really use a...goddess. *** It was called the Writer's Room not because it was where people went to write, but because it was typically where writers would go to talk business with the good people of the Trilo Publishing Company. It and its sister rooms were cozy little places that offered plenty of privacy not found in the rest of the office, making them especially ideal for an author to learn from a copy editor like Carol why their book was trash and why they were trash for writing it. That's what Carol wanted to tell Elaine the second the little bitch set foot inside anyway. Going over her text like she had been for the past 30 minutes was darkening the mother's already foul mood. 'First she pulled out the milk and she put that in the fridge. Then she pulled out the juice and she put that in the fridge. Then she pulled out the bananas and she put those in the fridge...' "For fuck's sake, you don't put bananas in the fridge!" she roared, resisting her every urge to hurl the computer monitor at the wall. "This idiot knows nothing! How much longer does this go for? Goddess...did she jot down her grocery list during a bad case of writer's block or what? No, I doubt she's ever had to go grocery-shopping in her life. Damn it, my daughters wrote more engaging shit in first grade!" Carol took an angry sip of her coffee, all the while secretly wishing it was wine. Being drunk was the only thing that would make reading this crap bearable. Her wish intensified the moment the bitter-tasting liquid hit her lips. "Gah! Too hot! Too hot!" she sputtered, hastily stowing the mug on the edge of her desk. "Looks like it's going to be another rotten day," she grumbled, dropping her head despondently into her hand. It was bad enough she'd have to talk to someone as irritating as Elaine, but did the wait have to be so grueling too? She scrolled ahead into the document. Maybe there was a better, more engaging passage later on. Stories tended to be a lot more iffy on the early parts after all. Perhaps Elaine found her voice on page 100 or so? 'Like a billion rays of brilliant gilded sunshine did his hair flutter and fly in the breeze, twirling like the spinning whirlpools that were likely spinning somewhere in the azul-coloured ocean from which the waves crashed on the beach they were both standing on like two tall statues standing in the dawn. She loved his hair. She loved that about him. She would jump in and dive in it if she could, she would paddle, swim, and kick in it like it was the cerulean ocean that was meeting the beach they were both standing on, she would wear it on her body like a new dress bought at the store. That was how much she loved his hair. That was how much she loved Jones, but which she could never find the lexemes or vocables to inform him of that emotion she felt. Just like how she loved his chin. It was magnificently square, it kind of reminded her of a big rock and it...' "Ohhhhh Goooooooodeeeeesssssssss," Carol groaned, rubbing her head. This hurt so much that she swore her brain was trying to break out of her skull just to be free of this madness. Reading this text couldn't be good for anybody's health, and she was expected to pore over it for possibly HOURS? "I can't do this," she breathed as she minimized the document on the computer screen. "I need to read something better. Something more engaging. Something..." Her eyes fell down to her purse, where the Scripture of Zenriah was peering out at her like a mischievous kitten just begging to be petted. "Something...erotic," she whispered before snatching it up in her greedy hands. *** And so the Goddess could love and be loved eternally as ever She desired, but nay, the same could not be said of Her wives. For though they ever basked in the love of their Goddess, never could they sing they their love for Her as ever as they wished. Every hour of every day and every hour of every night rang with the hymn of Zenriah and a hundred scores of Her wives, and yet in those times were hundred scores more who could not sing with Her. It was in those periods of silence where new songs would have to be sung in ways never sung to the Goddess before. Arnessi yearned for her Goddess in Her hours of absence, so she took to wallowing and bathing in the clay from which all Womankind was made. She let it drip and she let it seep upon her form until it enwombed her from toe tip to hair tip, and then she let it seep within her woman. For Arnessi knew that the Goddess had once touched these pools of creation and in doing so, mayhap She was touching her once more. In her singing and her bucking and her blossoming, Arnessi learned she too could shape the clay like the Goddess had before. By embracing it with her arms and kneading it in her hands, by smothering it in her chest, and enclosing it in her bloom, Arnessi was able to create a still being in the image of Zenriah. Enraptured by her creation, Arnessi sought to create more. Statue after statue of the Goddess did she create, each more beautiful and more perfect than the last. More came to look upon what Arnessi had made and like her, they too were struck with love by the image of their Goddess. And so they joined Arnessi in her creation. Through smothering of lips and licking of tongues and of blooming of flowers and quaking of yoni, they sent ripples through the lakes of mud, they pushed rock and stone, they reshaped earth, erected mountains, split canyons, sprinkled dust, and cooled lava. When they were done, they made the first and greatest sculpture in all the history of Womankind. A home fit for a Goddess, Her Wives, Her consorts, and Her children. She made the Temple of Zenriah. And so she became known as Arnessi the Builder... ... The Goddess and the fire. For Kinuse, these were the only passions that mattered. When with the fire, she yearned for the Goddess. When with the Goddess, she yearned for the fire. For though Woman was a creature prone to dripping and flowing and running as water dripped and flowed and ran, was she not also fire given physical form? Did Woman not dance as fire danced? Did Woman not warm as fire warmed? Did Woman not tremble in the throes of passion as fire trembled? Did Woman not lick the petals of her being as fire licked? When Kinuse did not lay with Zenriah, when Kinuse did not lay with Woman, then Kinuse did lay with fire. And she loved it in all the ways that she loved Goddess and Woman! If fire could love Kinuse as Woman loved her, then could it not love the Goddess as Woman loved Her as well? So Kinuse bathed in only the purest of oils, shorn of the blood of fallen trees and leviathans. She spread it across her flesh, soaked it into her hair, and let it flow into the valleys of her posterior and of her labia until it became that of another skin over her form. And then she set herself aflame. Wreathed in fire and ensconced in flame and embroiled in light and emanating of heat, Kinuse presented herself to the Goddess in all her fiery glory and she began to dance. She thrust her breasts into the air, she twirled her hair round in circles, she splayed her legs and kicked them skyward to show her Goddess the glowing embers of her womanhood. And she burned all throughout. From her hair and from her hand and from her feet and from her nips, the flames danced and they dazzled and cast wondrous shadows all around Kinuse as the sun sank and the moon rose. All looked upon Kinuse as she danced with stars in their eyes, enchanted by the lights that never illuminated their nights in all the centuries they had lived through before. And none were more delighted than Zenriah. No longer able to contain Herself, the Goddess took to a lioness stalking her prey and pounced upon Her fiery lover with a hunger never known before. Licking the rosebud of the Goddess with her tongue and her hands and her breasts and her body and her flames, Kinuse proved that Woman was indeed a creature of fire as much as she was a being of water. For four days she burned until finally the Goddess' pleasure quenched her with a wave of infinite love, and with it went Kinuse's wakefulness. She laid happily in the pool of her Beloved's loving essence, completely unburned and unscorched by a force fatal to lesser beings made not by divine hands. ... And so Kinuse the Unburned became a holy flame to illuminate the Goddess's Temple and Her growing city forevermore. ... Enamored by the flowers, Lila... *** "Hey, old lady! Old ladyyyyyy? Wake up! I'm right here! HellOOOOOOO? Is anyone home?" Old lady? Looking up from her book with an indignant scowl, Carol growled: "Who are you calling—" Oh. It was her. She recognized that bleached blond hair and that snooty glare any day of the week. It was Elaine Cassidy, looking like she always did: like she owned the place and that the world revolved around her. Just seeing her made Carol want to wretch. Sadly, that was just another one of many things Carol couldn't do thanks to the demands of life and especially of her job. The only thing she could do was put on her biggest fake smile and pretend that everything was just dandy right now. No matter how much it hurt her soul or her face. "Oh, Miss Cassidy, what a pleasure it is to <>see</i> you a...see you a..." Her voice trailed off. Her fake smile flickered and a cold chill fell over her whole body. Not a metaphorical chill used to illustrate a sudden sense of unease, but a very literal chill that blew all over her skin from the office's air conditioning, causing goose bumps to rise over nearly every inch of her exposed flesh. It hit all the parts of her that it normally did, like her face and her neck and her hands. And it hit all the parts of her that it normally didn't as well. Like her shoulders, her back, her stomach, her thighs, her feet, and especially her breasts. I didn't. She looked down. To her horror, it turned out she very much did! Caroline Connors was sitting at the desk, in her workplace, before a very important client for her company. And she was completely naked!
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1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it
1 - already answered
2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?
L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter
3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?
i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah
4. A character you rarely talk about?
HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING
5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?
fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart
6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?
:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip
7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?
YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg
8 - already answered
9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?
unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that
10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?
uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)
11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?
like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!
12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot
@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh, or derek but thats bc im a hoe
13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?
aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some
14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory
uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?
i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too
15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?
if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it
16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?
the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby
17. Any OC OTPs?
stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur
18. Any OC crackships?
jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+
19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)
ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha
20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?
uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:
Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)
and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore!
21. Your most artistic OC
!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch
22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?
Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds
23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?
lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao
24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?
jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot
25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)
:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them
26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?
…yeah.
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?
Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?
28. Your most dangerous OC?
He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus
29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?
INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE
30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?
secret: damiannot so secret: colby
31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)
uHHhhHh
damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him
32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?
protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)
33. Your shyest OC?
uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations
34. Do you have any twin characters?
Jupiter and leo!
35. Any sibling characters?
Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur
jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom
36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?
uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh
37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human
Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman
38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?
surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary
39. Introduce any character you want
:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one
1.) Lust2.) Greed
40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!
fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.
tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs
with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that
41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)
!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!
42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?
uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit
43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess
lordt ok
i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)
44. Something you like about your OCs in general
how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see
45. A character you no longer use?
a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.
46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?
not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending
47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?
@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao
48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure
ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM
49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes
damian
50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want
ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op
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AMA Transcript: bouquet garni
Next up, @skadventuretime, @guacamoletrash and @jamesfalt (Souly on Discord) stopped by to chat about their Resbang, bouquet garni! Here’s some of what went down:
Q: Madi, how did you come up with everyone's characters, like Harvar being a gaming streamer and Tsu and Liz being farmers etc. etc. because I thought those were all really unique and interesting!
madi: Ahaha let's see, I started planning this back last... May? and talking with the beta crew, as one does. And naturally marsh [ @marshofsleep ] , enabler that she is, just put it out there.
madi: And I was just playing a bunch of overwatch at the time and thought he'd be a good gamer nerd, and also I had decided to make this Extra self-indulgent, so I was like “my city now”. I basically poured all of my friend feels into [Harvar] and Anya in particular. The past couple years have been rougher for me, but I've had some really spectacular friends, and I decided Maka and Soul needed them, too.
Q: The part with the sword and stuff, I just…
madi: OH THAT ahahahaha. Okay yeah that was end of Resbang crunch time and me being extra 'fuck it.'
madi: That was what the team thought about that.
Q: Artist-chans, what programs do you use and how does your arting process go? And how is guac so good at playlisting??
Souly: I use paint tool SAI :0 I might still have some of my progress pics, lemme look.
guac: Lol. I don't think I'm super good at it but I do enjoy music a lot and like to make playlists so maybe that's it!
Souly: Yeah here we go. Mid lining.
I did it a lil differently than I normally do. I normally line everything and then do flats but I was actually super behind bc of life stuff so I just started doing flats per character after their lines were done. This is a sample of what the layers look like:
madi: Man how do u keep track of ur layers? Or is it like, a sixth sense?
Souly: I go off of the little layer previews and hope the layer has what I'm looking for.
madi: LOL that sounds like me.
Souly: I also like... tend to set up layers for characters a specific way so I can normally find those?
guac: BRUH THAT'S SO MANY LAYERS.
Q: Did you have a favorite character to write? 8)
madi: I just love writing Star being balls to the walls ridiculous. The saxophone thing came about because I saw this video and was like oh my god it's Black Star in the flesh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMyqasy2Lco . But I also really liked writing Maka being sort of the one with issues, too.
Q: Which character in your fic did you most identify with? And was it purposeful or accidental?
madi: Iiiiiiii'd have to say I identified with [Maka] the most this fic, for once. Usually it's soul, but I ended up pouring a lot of myself into her, and it was both purposeful and accidental how it all worked out.
Q: I’m surprised, because there were a lot of things I noticed about Soul that I know are you-things!
madi: Yeah!!! I definitely can't help that with him, they both got a lot of me.
Q: I know you said this fic was super personal and self-indulgent so was it generally pretty easy to write because of that, or did you have trouble?
madi: Hmmmm yeah I definitely had some trouble. About 20k in, I sort of lost the emotional thread of it, and whined a lot to Bones [ @adulterclavis ] about what I could do to fix it, and it turned out that I just needed to talk to someone about it to find where I wanted to go again, and then it got easier. I still struggled for sure not having a traditional Big Antagonist plotline thing, it was more personal and then Maka's mom… Bones let me cry in her inbox about writing.
Q: What brought about your characterization of Mama Albarn (who i still hate btw >: ((( )?
madi: You are not the only one...
guac: I'm always ready to fight her.
madi: Okay so, basically Mama Albarn came about just from how I used to (and still sometimes do) talk to myself. It's that internalized idea you always have to be perfect, and if you aren't given everything you've been given and have, then you're weak and a fuckup and how dare you not be the best? DEFINITELY a toxic mindset, and Bad. And this fic was sort of exorcising that, a little. This was an external abusive deal, but you can absolutely develop abusive thought patterns towards yourself, and you can also free yourself from them, like Maka was ultimately able to.
Q: Was there a scene in particular you really enjoyed?
madi: I heckin’ loved the butt lamp scene. It honestly kept me going, knowing I'd be able to write that monstrosity. And also drunk Kid, who marsh aptly named Five Drink Amy. AND THEN GUAC skl;dfkld. So there was this, right, and then guac
madi: Which linked to THIS PIC:
madi: And we all could not stop laughing.
Q: What was the hardest part to write?
madi: I got stuck at the end of chapter 3, and I ultimately added another section on to it to make it work, but I think deciding how I wanted to transition from her debauched night out into a Soul POV chapter given what I wanted each person to sort of be faced with was probably the hardest thing for me. This whole deal was largely driven by me groping in the dark at what felt right.
Q: PS I loved the debauched night out. And Patty's drinks.
madi: I loved patty in this!! Bones wanted to marry her, so I know it Worked Out. She was another fun one to write, as were her drinks ahaha.
Q: What was your favorite thing about this Resbang in particular?
madi: Oh jeez, hm. I think my favorite thing was doing a better job fleshing out the side characters in Harv and Anya and Kid and Star. That was something I regret not doing better in my older work, so I'm happy I got to try my hand at giving people other than Soul/Maka some personality.
guac: They became such a cute little chosen family.
Q: Why a food-themed story specifically? What about that appealed to you? (For everyone!)
madi: (Apeeled).
Souly: I fucking love SoMa. [And] the cooking aspect really drew me in... idk why but I've always had a thing for those kinds of things with anime I'm into?
guac: My current relationship started with them teaching me how to cook real food cause I used to eat like a garbage can, so I was like ‘welp this is gonna be hella cute, count me in.’
madi: Omg, I didn't know that, that's ADORABLE.
guac: Shhhhh. I don't talk about my feelings very much. But yeah. I was like ‘a SoMa AU about my life!!!’
Souly: Honestly yeah same, I feel like I also like... connected with Maka about being poor and just buying shit to eat.
madi: Let's see, I had a prompt sitting in my inbox FOREVER that was like 'I’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and I flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and I definitely want to say yes AU' that I was initially gonna go with, and originally it was a little closer to this deal. My first blush ideas for this sort of had the drama in not knowing who was whom, and the big reveal being the climax, or something like Maka thinking Soul was taken because she thought he was involved with the comment girl and then that whole drama. But then I thought that that sorta thing had been done before, and I wanted this to be less about the drama of the reveal and more about the process of them growing closer, I guess. And I also looooooove cooking and baking, so that definitely bled through.
Q: I thought it was a neat shake up how you didn’t make the reveal the crux of the whole thing.
madi: Ahahaha yeah, I definitely thought about it, but ultimately wanted this to be less 'gasp, it's YOU!' because the reader knows, and if I wanted to make the reader invested, I'd have to keep them apart and do the kinda drama I wasn't feeling for this fic. The insta bit came about because I spend some time looking at food pics before I go to sleep, and that provided a lot of insp for that section. Half of my degree is in nutrition, so I like to see the recipes people come up with, and also roll my eyes at some of the bougie stuff, because insta is definitely a Platform for that, depending on where you end up haha. Also like, I definitely took some things I've experienced flat out and added them in, like Harv shoving Maka electrolyte packets. Last year when I was deep in the sad pit, my diet was terrible, and I knew it, but I wasn't doing much about it. And then one day I was talking to Bones and my leg muscle kept spasming, and she was like dude when was the last time you've gotten minerals and I was like .....oh. So she sent me a link for those packets to hold me over on days I wasn’t getting them from my diet ahaha. Bones is also where some of Kid came from, and bits of Anya.
Q: Where did you get your recipes? I want a cookbook based on this fic p...please.
modi: Okay okay let me find some of the recipes that inspired things:
https://showmetheyummy.com/crockpot-mexican-chicken-recipe/ https://www.instagram.com/p/BfWNxv9HuHg/?hl=en&taken-by=thefeedfeed.
[Bones] was also the steak recipe insp!
madi: The kitchn, thefeedfeed, showmetheyummy, minimalistbaker were all feeds that I was inspired by, and then I just improv’d from there, because I have cooked all or most of the things I described in there. AND IT'S WHERE MAKA'S CUPCAKE GAZING CAME FROM. LOOK AT THE GLORIOUS MOUNTAIN OF ICING https://www.instagram.com/p/BaRGvjGDBpr/?hl=en&taken-by=thescranline
Q: Did you feel like your writing has changed at all during writing this?
madi: Yeah, for sure! I thought that this year I got better at characterizing people, adding some personality to them that was a little more nuanced than I'd done before. I think I absorbed some of Bones's longer sentence style, which I personally tend to like even though I am still getting a handle on it, and I think I got better at describing things in general. Next step is being better with plot and tightening up the language a little more >:) Most of the changes, I think, were sentence style and how I handled dialogue, which is usually harder for me.
Q: Artists: did you learn any new techniques that you plan to practice or improve on any you've been trying to learn?
Souly: Oh yeah, I learned doing flats as I go with lines actually speeds up the process slightly... I practiced a different lighting technique that I never did end up going with but I kinda figured out what I need to do to make it work. It sadly just didn't work with how I set up this pic.
madi: Oooo nice, linework is Intimidating but you made it look easy.
guac: I am just glad to force myself to make stuff. Glad to be here. Thought my drawing of bodies got better (thanks Black Star).
madi: Y'all don't understand the sound I made when I saw guac drew the apron.
Souly: That Blackstar pic is my fave.
Q: WHAT'S NEXT, everybody? ;D
madi: >;) well, I have a secret project that I thought of last year that I am not yet sure will be a Resbang or a chaptered dealio, so I want to pick at that. Then I have a chaptered Star vs the Forces of Evil fic I need to update, and I owe Pip [ @paperypiper ] like two or three Noragami fluff pieces, and SILLY’S BDAY SMUT. Which will proabbly be like a whole year late but whatever I’m sorry, I will try to make it extra spicy.
Souly: I'm signing up for a few zines! I'm currently waiting for them to open apps but I'm looking at an Enstars zine, FMA tarot project, and some YOI zines. I was also recently in the Soul Eater reversal zine that just closed preorders the other day so I'm waiting to be able to post my piece :0
guac: I'm arting for the BNHA big bang and mostly consumed by school. Who knows what will happen next! There's a little pop punk lyrics + anime project I'm working on so maybe I'll show it to the world someday soon. We will see.
madi: OH YEAH I’m writing for that bang too! AND GUAC GOT ME AS AN ARTIST. It's the ultimate resonance.
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What have u just learned?
That ur body knows u better than u can rationalize it.
There are these very distinct episodes or events in my life where I took a thing too much. A little weed, a lil cigarette, a lil alcohol, and when I would explain these things, I was so aware of how full of shit I sounded, “Oh, I didn’t mean to!” But I hadn’t meant to. The thing is some of these events ran concurrent with emotionally high states and exasperated them. Not the getting lit part, but the hangovers, the paranoia, my body’s response to crossing the line. The same way certain emotional breakdowns ran concurrent with severe flu episodes. I think, it just occurred to me this morning, that they might’ve happened because I needed permission, permission to feel the underlying thing. I insist that I did not experience it like that at first at all. It was always just a shot or puff or drink too many, a mundane bit over the line. But in the way we are art and the way things have gone lately, I can see how I foretold my own future and grabbed at things that would later reveal themselves to be truly apropos, when I had thought I was simply making a mistake, and a short-sighted one.
The thing is it just happened again this morning, I just did it again. I smoked two cigarettes and got a stomachache. I had sworn to myself not to, and having been a swimmer and a runner before the pandemic, I still identify as such. I was trying to fend off negative feelings and judgement of myself over it, and it turns out, my period had just come in the interim.
So I asked myself, why did I rationalize impending cramps as shame? Previously, I had rationalized the physical and emotional pain as coincidental, and that therefore, they were at least equal in strength. But now, I think I just learned to not be so hard on myself. To be careful with my sentiments. To take it easy. I think the Catholic in me is always just ready with the shame and everything latches on to it. In a moment like that, like this, being kind to myself means that pain should be listened to first before it is explained because at my hands is a language that’s trying to explain a phenomenon, myself, which is much greater than it. My relationship to how I treat my body is much more important than judging myself for a moment of weakness or wanting to feel a little bit of recklessness during this global pandemic. And yeah, its collective trauma but I’m not gonna call it that. I want to call it, from my point of view, collective permission. A collective code switch.
Most of us are in contact with that which we don’t like, and I believe in rants. Rant is my middle name. But I also understand that the people who we are ranting about because they are or aren’t taking advantage of the new circumstances, those people who don’t take up a new skill or the new influx of sex workers, I also want to add that those people we are judging might already know this on some level, and that’s where the code switching comes in. It’s about privilege. For example, a local music producer and what I call a sort of archivist was going on about how there’s no excuse now not to learn a new instrument or skill, as he is a champion of this school of thought. Personally, I have been practicing a more anti-hustle mindset in favor of rest, but as a person of skin color privilege, what can I learn from him as a black man? Let him be! He’s a very particular person, and besides, while I understand the value of rest, and my mom in particular should fucken rest, I really, really, really don’t want to act like our millennially-learned way of being is the most high for all marginalized people. Yes, rest benefits all generations, but migration’s way of living gave us everything we have. Leave them alone, leave us alone. There’s a pro and con to them both. None of this is helping me deal with a parent who can’t stop and will actually rebel against me trying to care for her.
Another person who went on an important rant was a Black sex worker who was talking about the new influx of people joining to make easy money. As a person of skin color privilege, how do I move with them? I look at my experience and make it so I agree, because she’s not wrong. I totally 100% get the rant because I, myself, went on a rant where I sort of wished harm on the newbies. That for better or worse, yall will learn today. But I will also add that I’ve never not heard a sex worker say they wanted to try another line of sex work business because they thought it would be easier. We could play bingo with that. Many of us enter the business thinking that to some degree. I say this for myself and for the people I’ve worked with. I say this as someone who first learned of the sex worker communities on tumblr before venturing into the clubs myself and found that there was a huge gap between the two. I have yet to find an in-person place that was as hardcore as them, social justice-wise.
This is why its difficult for me to agree that a revolution is coming because there’s always a gap, and not everyone understands that. They think, we think that distance means we can get away with something and pretend its not there, which it does, unfortunately. But it also means dissonance, and that u are looking away from the thing that is actually right next to u and that sometimes u share with someone very different than u. That’s not the kind of body we should be building. The revolution without this will not be inclusive for me and I know it will not be for others.
Its been right next door, the revolution and what precedes it, and we just pretended not to know what was going on. We heard the screams, we heard the death. I know that we learn new shit all the time, and I’m also ranting here, but it just helps me, personally, to resituate things, deconstruct, recontextualize. I’ve been waiting for a revolution to happen a long time using many different frames and lenses. When I was younger, I used to go to a lot of protests and it always felt like the revolution was going to happen any moment now. I’m just not for the kind of language that makes me feel good about it anymore, not only, as if its going to happen widely. I have a steady full time job now for the first time in, like, ever, and it’s a job I hate and I’m happy. If that’s not the cherry on top of cynicism, I don’t know what is. Right now, in this moment in history, in this dynamic, frightening moment in history, I am finally free-ish. I’m often not on the same page as others so that’s where my lesson is from. The revolution is illusive because it goes by another name.
I think the revolution is a collective permission to perhaps to not be on the same page. At least it is mine. Collectively, I think permission is in some ways subtle, and it will take a long time to get it together, but the revolution also involves something as big as knowing that the president was going to, that this was going to happen a second term. How did we not see this coming? That the good people don’t strike back like that, we so far haven’t, and the longer u insist that u will, its already gone, that method no longer exists for u, for me. And I think I just learned something else.
It takes so little to ruin everything, and it takes so much to fix it. I think that while people are good and deserve love, that dissonance points to the truth of our nature. We are infinitely destructive beings, and it would help me to move forward on my education and building with that in mind. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I love people who have different roles in our community, but we’re all on different parts of our journey. It has served me better to accept that than be mad at one another during a nationally mismanaged crisis, at people who I share something with.
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someone asked me for the 100 questions but tumblr is fuckin up so here u go my friend
1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? a: lea (pronounced lee), it was my grandmas middle name and yes I do love it
2. are you artistic? a: fuck yeah I am I sing and play instruments and do art
3. Have you had your first kiss? a: yes
4. What is your life goal? a: to be happy TBH
5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? a: my dad went to grade school with this guy who won an Oscar! also Bernie sanders came to my high school for a rally which was so so cool
6. Do you play any sports? a: what is a sport
7. What’s your worst fear? a: that everyone I love is pretending to like me TBH
8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? a: Kim from Matt and Kim ngl, also the people in Costa Rica who created the giant dog sanctuary
9. Do you have any cool talents? a: I play 6 instruments and also I have a really good memory
10. are you a morning person? a: YES I love getting up early especially when I don’t have to do anything
11. How do you feel about pet names? a: hate (dyldoge)
12. Do you like to read? a: YEAH I DO it’s so fun to me
13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. a: the office, game of thrones, the walking dead (mostly cause glenn and maggie)
14. Do you care about your follower count? a: nope unless it’s 420 or 666
15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? a: probably one where I was either flying or hugging someone
16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? a: I have not
17. Do you have any pets? a: YEAH I HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL BABIES (dogs)
18. Are you religious? a: I am not
19. Are you a people person? a: ahahahahaha noooooooooooooooo
20. Are you considered popular? a: I’m not sure?? TBH
21. What is one of your bad habits? a: saying yes when I want to say no, also procrastinating
22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable? a: showing music I love to people
23. What would you name your children? a: *dogs I love all dog names
24. Who’s your celebrity crush? a: Marcos is the biggest celebrity of my heart
25. What’s your best subject? a: English/history that uncovers how awful white america is/has been
26. Dogs or cats? a: both!!!!!!!! but TBH dogs more
27. most used social media besides tumblr? a: I’m not sure but I’m gonna say chat snaps
28. best friends name a: Marcos and varla ofc <3 <3 <3
29. who does your main family consist of a: my sister and my mom and dad and my two beautiful dog children
30. Chocolate or sugar a: chocolate
31. have you ever been on a date? a: yes! not formally like “would you like to go on a date with me?” tho
32. Do you like rollercosters? a: I did……but Marcos and I went to the fair last summer and concluded that we are too old for this and our joints are too stiff
33. Can you swim? a: yes and I love swimming so much
34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? a: grab everyone I love and live in a Costco
35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? a: yes ednos, depression, and trichotillomania
36. Are your parents together? a: yes they are
37. What’s your favourite colour? a: green forever and ever
38. What country are you from/do you live in? a: USA :^)
39. Favourite singer? a: I’m gonna say my favorite artist is Matt and Kim but there are so many other favorites ahahah
40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? a: no TBH unless it’s for cooking
41. Do you like dresses? a: yeah I fuckin love dresses but they are uncomfy sometimes
42. Favourite song right now? a: poplar street by glass animals or vampire money by mcr honorable mention: planetary [go!] by mcr, well it’s true that we love one another by the white stripes, northeast by Matt and Kim, man on the moon by zella day, the way we move by langhorne slim and the law, when you’re young by Edward sharpe and the magnetic zeroes
43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? a: no I actually really like talking about sex! I think it’s healthy to
44. How old were you when you first got your period? a: like 11 I think lmao
45. Have you ever shot a gun? a: nope and I don’t really wanna
46. Have you ever done yoga? a: yes
47. Are you a horror girl? a: hell yeah give me some of that 😩💯😭👌🏽✔️✔️👅💦💦😳👀😍 babadook
48. Are you good at giving advice? a: sometimes like I know exactly what I wanna say but I talk around it bc I’m bad at explaining things
49. Tell us a story about your childhood. a: one time when I was 4 my cousin was bothering me and putting a pillow over my face so I bit him so hard it bled and now he’s a trump supporter but I can’t bite him bc I’m an Adult
50. How are you doing today? a: I’m good!! I had a really great breakfast with my RA Rebecca and my roommate Sydney!
51. Were you a cute kid? a: there was no kid cuter than me up until like 1st grade when I got glasses
52. Can you dance? a: when no one is watching TBH
53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? a: eating with chopsticks and also wanting to be in love
54. Have you ever dyed your hair? a: nooooo but I wanna
55. What colour are your eyes? a: brown
56. What’s your favourite animal? a: horses and dogs!!
57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? a: yes I definitely have :^))))
58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? a: I think so!! they support my decision to change my major and I’m so so happy
59. Do you have good friends? a: like 3 maybe who I never get to see :////
60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? a: ya bich it me (also yes!! many of my friends are)
61. What’s your favourite class? a: this quarter, Asian American studies
62. List all the tv shows you are watching. the walking dead, westworld, full frontal with Samantha Bee, daily show, game of thrones, I think that’s it?
63. Are you organized? a: honey………no
64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? in theaters I saw rogue one and I loved it so much THERE WERE POC LEADS
67. Which tv character do you relate to most? a: I don’t know actually but probably Pam from the office TBH
68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? a: distance :/ and financial instability :/
69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? a: taking care of dogs
70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? a: id change the not dying part…….it’s gotta happen sometime just not now
71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? a: I’d dance all the time in public
72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? a: stand up for myself
73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? a: is this even a question of course I would
74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? a: in August when me and Marcos went to SLO
75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? a: the living room and my dogs greeting me and getting in n out for dinner
76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? a: I found out I can change my major really quickly
77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? a: a paleontologist I loved dinosaurs
78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? a: not too much actually I dream of being financially stable with my love Marcos and being surrounded by dogs and having my family live not super close but not too far away
79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? a: in class bc participation is part of the grade
80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence a: I’m going to finish college with a steady job, hopefully travel a lot, and spend all the time I can working towards The Dream™
81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? a: me: graduates college and gets a masters degree within a year
82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? a: looking for a way to make Marcos also live forever and then taking care of all dogs
83. How would you spend a billion dollars? a: I’d buy a big house that has a lot of land for my dogs to run around in and pay for a bunch of kids’ tuition and buy my parents a bunch of vacations and create spaces for dogs everywhere and donate to Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren……that’s kind of a big question
84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? a: the past so that I can see all the history white people cover up
85. What motivates you to succeed? a: The Dream ™ of being financially stable in a nice apartment with a few dogs and the love of my life Marcos
86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? a: I had a nightmare that trump became president
87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? a: woods bc city smell like pee and is smoggy
88. Do you believe in life after death a: kinda but I hope it’s a life where I don’t really have to Do anything
89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? a: my great uncle because he was a professor of English and he loved my great aunt so much and had a house in the middle of nowhere surrounded by forest and deer and it had a greenhouse and a place for bats to roost
90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? a: making pillow forts with my sister and then destroying them by jumping on top of them
91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? a: I wanna have dinner with Donald trump, specifically so I can stab him in his orange face with my fork
92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? a: not too many things TBH I cry very hard at practically everything
93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? a: you shouldn’t have to change something about yourself in order to deserve love (unless ur a neo nazi or a mass murderer or something like that obviously)
94. What do you think happens after we die? a: party in the afterlife
95. What would you do if you would be invisible? a: probably steal money from trump but make it look like mike pence or richard spencer did it
96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? a: whistle ahahaha
97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? a: all dogs are beautiful
98. How did your first crush develop? a: my first crush was on Luke Skywalker and it developed by me watching a new hope
99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? a: it’s the feeling of That Fuck Shit and i ignore it on the daily
100. Do you live or do you just exist? a: time is meaningless and none of us Actually exist
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