#when that should never have even been the argument bc police should not be judge jury and executioner

[watermelinoe]

basically a thing that drives me insane w leftists who have a righteous cause is that they're no different from right-wingers bc they will also just lie. for no reason. and it feels like a psyop bc once you've very obviously lied abt something easily disproven, it gives your opposition the opportunity to say "they're lying about this, what else are they lying about?" (even if they are also liars which they probably are)

and 10000% of the time the lie didn't even need to be part of the argument, your moral argument was already sound, but now you're making everyone else complicit in a lie if they agree with you uncritically and if they point out that you're lying you accuse them of derailing and being against you

i have obsessive compulsive issues and i will dwell on this for hours trying to rationalize why people do this and if i'm a bad person bc i don't boost posts that i overall agree with except there's a blatant lie that i can't get past that imo undermines the entire message and i'm just like?? is it ignorance?? is it on purpose??

obv it's easy with like transactivists bc i already disagree with their ideology and on top of that they lie constantly, but never forget that leftists you agree with also do the same thing and they will get mad at you if you don't even if you say you agree with them overall

[jcmorgenstern]

@superohclair oh god okay please know these are all just incoherent ramblings so like, idk, please feel free to add on or ignore me if im just wildly off base but this is a bad summary of what ive been thinking about and also my first titans/batman meta?? (also, hi!)

okay so for the disclaimer round: I am not an actual cultural studies major, nor do I have an extensive background in looking at the police/military industrial complex in media. also my comics knowledge is pretty shaky and im a big noob(I recently got into titans, and before that was pretty ignorant of the dceu besides batman) so I’ll kind of focus in on the show and stuff im more familiar with and apologize in advance?. basically im just a semi-educated idiot with Opinions, anyone with more knowledge/expertise please jump in! this is literally just the bullshit I spat out incoherently off the top of my head. did i mention im a comics noob? because im a comics noob.

so on a general level, I think we can all agree that batman as a cultural force is somewhat on the conservative side, if not simply due to its age and commercial positioning in American culture. there are a lot of challenges and nuances to that and it’s definitely expanding and changing as DC tries to position itself in the way that will...make the most money, but all you have to do is take a gander through the different iterations of the stories in the comics and it’ll smack you in the fucking face. like compare the first iteration of Jason keeping kids out of drugs to the titans version and you’ve got to at least chuckle. at the end of the day, this is a story about a (white male) billionaire who fights crime.

to be fair, I’d argue the romanticization of the police isn’t as aggressive as it could be—they are most often presented as corrupt and incompetent. However, considering the main cop characters depicted like Jim Gordon, the guys in Gotham (it’s been a while since I saw it, sorry) are often the romanticized “good few” (and often or almost always white cis/het men), that’s on pretty shaky ground. I don’t have the background in the comics strong enough to make specific arguments, so I’ll cede the point to someone who does and disagrees, but having recently watched a show that deals excellently with police incompetence, racism, and brutality (7 Seconds on Netflix), I feel at the very least something is deeply missing. like, analysis of race wrt police brutality in any aspect at all whatsoever.

I think it can be compellingly read that batman does heavily play into the military/police industrial complex due to its takes on violence—just play the Arkham games for more than an hour and you’ll know what I mean. to be a little less vague, even though batman as a franchise valorizes “psychiatric treatment” and “nonviolence,” the entire game seems pretty aware it characterizes treatment as a madhouse and nonviolence as breaking someone’s back or neck magically without killing them because you’re a “good guy.” while it is definitely subversive that the franchise even considers these elements at all, they don’t always do a fantastic job living up to them.

and then when you consider the fetishization of tools of violence both in canon and in the fandom, it gets worse. same with prisons—if anything it dehumanizes people in prisons even more than like, cop shows in general, which is pretty impressive(ly bad). like there’s just no nuance afforded and arkham is generally glamorized. the fact that one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, I will admit, does not help. im not really sure how to mitigate that when, again, one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, but I think my point still stands. fuck you, killer croc. (im just kidding unfuck him or whatever)

not to take this on a Jason Todd tangent but I was thinking about it this afternoon and again when thinking about that cop scene again and in many ways he does serve as a challenge to both batman’s ideology as well as the ideology of the franchise in general. his depiction is always a bit of a sticking point and it’s always fascinating to me to see how any given adaptation handles it. like Jason’s “”street”” origin has become inseparable from his characterization as an angry, brash, violent kid, and that in itself reflects a whole host of cultural stereotypes that I might argue occasionally/often dip into racialized tropes (like just imagine if he wasn’t white, ok). red hood (a play on robin hood and the outlaws, as I just realized...today) is in my exposure/experience mostly depicted as a villain, but he challenges batman’s no-kill philosophy both on an ethical and practical level. every time the joker escapes he kills a whole score more of innocent people, let alone the other rogues—is it truly ethical to let him live or avoid killing him for the cost of one life and let others die?

moreover, batman’s ““blind”” faith in the justice system (prisons, publicly-funded asylum prisons, courts) is conveniently elided—the story usually ends when he drops bad guy of the day off at arkham or ties up the bad guys and lets the police come etc etc. part of this is obviously bc car chases are more cinematic than dry court procedurals, but there is an alternate universe where bruce wayne never becomes batman and instead advocates for the arkham warden to be replaced with someone competent and the system overhauled, or in programs encouraging a more diverse and educated police force, or even into social welfare programs. (I am vaguely aware this is sometimes/often part of canon, but I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s the main focus. and again, I get it’s not nearly as cinematic).

overall, I think the most frustrating thing about the batman franchise or at least what I’ve seen or read of it is that while it does attempt to deal with corruption and injustice at all levels of the criminal justice system/government, it does so either by treating it as “just how life is” or having Dick or Jim Gordon or whoever the fuckjust wipe it out by “eliminating the dirty cops,” completely ignoring the non-fantasy ways these problems are dealt with in real life. it just isn’t realistic. instead of putting restrictions on police violence or educating cops on how to use their weapons or putting work into eradicating the culture of racism and prejudice or god basically anything it’s just all cinematized into the “good few” triumphing over the bad...somehow. its always unsatisfying and ultimately feels like lip service to me, personally.

this also dovetails with the very frustrating way mental health/”insanity” or “madness” is dealt with in canon, very typical of mainstream fiction. like for example:“madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.” yikes, if by ‘push’ you mean significant life stressors, genetic load, and environemntal influences,  then sure. challenge any dudebro joker fanboy to explain exactly what combination of DSM disorders the joker has to explain his “””insanity””” and see what happens. (these are, in fact, my plans for this Friday evening. im a hit at parties).

anyway I do really want to wax poetic about that cop scene in 1x06 so im gonna do just that! honestly when I first saw that I immediately sat up like I’d sat on a fucking tack, my cultural studies senses were tingling. the whole “fuck batman” ethos of the show had already been interesting to me, esp in s1, when bruce was basically standing in for the baby boomers and dick being our millennial/GenX hero. I do think dick was explicitly intended to appeal to a millennial audience and embody the millennial ethos. By that logic, the tension between dick and Jason immediately struck me as allegorical (Jason constantly commenting on dick being old, outdated, using slang dick doesn’t understand and generally being full of youthful obnoxious fistbumping energy).

Even if subconsciously on the part of the writers, jason’s over-aggressive energy can be read as a commentary on genZ—seen by mainstream millennial/GenX audiences as taking things too far. Like, the cops in 1x06 could have been Nick Zucco’s hired men or idk pretty much anyone, yet they explicitly chose cops and even had Jason explain why he deliberately went after them for being cops so dick (cop) could judge him for it. his rationale? he was beaten up by cops on the street, so he’s returning the favor. he doesn’t have the focused “righteous” rage of batman or dick/nightwing towards valid targets, he just has rage at the world and specifically the system—framed here as unacceptable or fanatical. as if like, dressing up like a bat and punching people at night is, um, totally normal and uncontroversial.

on a slightly wider scope, the show seems to internally struggle with its own progressive ethos—on the one hand, they hire the wildly talented chellah man, but on the other hand they will likely kill him off soon. or they cast anna diop, drawing wrath from the loudly racist underbelly of fandom, but sideline her. perhaps it’s a genuine struggle, perhaps they simply don’t want to alienate the bigots in the fanbase, but the issue of cops stuck out to me when I was watching as an social issue where they explicitly came down on one side over the other. jason’s characterization is, I admit and appreciate, still nuanced, but I’d argue that’s literally just bc he’s a white guy and a fan favorite. cast an actor of color as Jason and see how fast fandom and the writer’s room turns on him.

anyway i don’t really have the place to speak about what an explicitly nonwhite!cop!dick grayson would look like, but I do think it would be a fascinating and exciting place to start in exploring and correcting the kind of vague and nebulous complaints i raise above. (edit: i should have made more clear, i mean in the show, which hasn’t dealt with dick’s heritage afaik). also, there’s something to be said about the cop vs detective thing but I don’t really have the brain juice or expertise to say it? anyway if you got this far i hope it was at least interesting and again pls jump in id love to hear other people’s takes!!

tldr i took two (2) cultural studies classes and have Opinions

[i-want-my-iwtv]

How has the purge affected u?

[Apologies in advance for the Wall of Text™, I feel like longposting, sorry for the dash coverage, I didn’t think I had this much to say about this… And I probably shouldn’t do this, probably should have kept this to a flippant “It sucks!” with a VC meme, but I haven’t shared much publicly lately… now feels like a singularly poignant time to do so.]

NO CUTS WE LONGPOST LIKE MEN

It’s strange. I think running and participating in the @vcsecretgifts exchange (not finished yet!), and backing up that blog and this one for preservation (not finished yet!), helped take my mind off it! I’ve been busy with @wicked-felina coordinating substitute Santas, so I haven’t had much chance to indulge in it like a participant yet, but I did see that my recipient liked my gift, and that was heartwarming! I’ll reply properly when I have the peace of mind for it (yes I could be doing it now but this is the gear I want to be on right now), and I haven’t had a chance to read the gift from my own Santa, I’m saving that as a treat!

I did the #Log/ffProt/st, that helped. The purge is/was creatively stifling, somewhat, too, bc even though I don’t produce NS/FW stuff myself (I WANT TO, THO), I do reblog it, and support it, I see other artists and writers affected by it, and I felt and still feel helpless, unable to protect them. One of our VC fandom members who draws slash art has been shadowbanned, that I know of. It’s frustrating that the morality & purity police seem to have won this battle, but they haven’t won the war. We’ll take our garbage underground if we have to. 

How crushing to wake up to one’s blog(s) just canceled w/o explanation? We were given 2 weeks’ notice? To pack up our “nasty” stuff and leave? 

[X]

There’s nothing wrong with NS/FW stuff, adult ppl should be able to talk about it, fantasize about it, make art and write fiction about it, have kinks and explore them. I never bought the “if you like it in fiction you support it in reality!” argument, just like with all dangerous things we like in fiction but wouldn’t want in reality. 

“… Fiction is how we both study and de-fang our monsters. To lock violent fiction away, or to close our eyes to it, is to give our monsters and our fears undeserved power and richer hunting grounds.” - Warren Ellis [X]

But I’ve fought those battles and there’s no point in engaging in unwinnable debate with ppl who are committed to misunderstanding me and twisting my words into a strawman they can easily knock over.  

It’s baffling that it’s an unpopular opinion that minors should be allowed to learn about sex, as much as they learn about how to (eventually) drive a car, manage alcohol consumption, defend themselves against violence, handle medication or recreational drugs, all these things that are potentially and not inherently dangerous to them, that they’ll be faced with in the Real World. I remember there were religious rituals in my youth where children could taste alcohol a little bit, it was exposure to an adult thing in a safe space, among other adults. Is this really all about Protecting the Children? Really? Or is it about mental domination? What it looks like to me is a self-proclaimed Particular Authority who wants to keep minors (and adults) submissive and reliant on that Particular Authority, it’s so much easier to keep them submissive and reliant to that same Particular Authority as adults. It’s always been about power. 

And I’m seeing that the communities most affected by the purge are AFAB ppl and LGBTQIA+. It’s misogynistic, LGBTQIA+-phobic. The fact that tungle reportedly blocked archivists from saving blogs before the NS/FW purge is just pouring salt in the wound.

I’ve started following these refugee/evicted tumblr ppl where they’ve migrated to. I’m trying to keep track of them. I’m in the @fiction-is-not-reality2 discord server, keeping my eye out for the next alternative platform.

Leading up to the purge I considered blasting a bunch of smut as a last hurrah, and I did reblog some Controversial™ stuff, just in case my blog was going to be deleted, but then, I lost steam on that. Why put in extra effort and get deleted anyway? Why poke the bear, and deliberately get deleted for it? Most of my blog is SFW, anyway.

I preserved my blog, the gifts blog, and just for archival purposes I should have been doing that all along, so it was good for my own historical safekeeping… so much good commentary and fanworks here, in the past 5+ years! Collecting the scraps just like I’d done in 1994, when there were articles about the IWTV movie and I wanted all of them, I especially wanted the illustrations and caricatures in the magazines (which was really validating of my interest in some way, fanart that was published, essentially!). And I had my folder of Deviantart I liked, of course. So I packed up my blog here to preserve it, it’s on wordpress now, iwantmyiwtv.com, with a lame layout, but I’ve got the tags showing, where fanart that’s blocked here can still be seen on WP.

I’m rambling. 

The purge reminded me that all this, as we know it, could and will be gone someday. Purges have done that before, especially to our fandom, attacked by its own canon author. We’ve survived this before. 

I’ve been on tungle since July ‘13. I’ve made and lost some wonderful friends here, some have moved on to other fandoms, or we’ve had partings of the ways. The fanart in this fandom, my memes, have been spread all over, I see them on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter. When this blog is deleted, either by content flagging or by tumblr finally keeling over, our stuff is going to outlive us all.  

Who even made this one? One of the vintage memes. Maybe their watermark was long ago cropped off, or maybe they hadn’t put it on:

^It was used in a meme here, but I don’t think that was the OP, it’s gotta be more than 4 yrs old. Pretty sure the “JUDGING YOU” in Impact font was around Twilight time, which came out in 2008. This meme is still floating around, it’s still amusing to ppl all these years later. Someone’s stroke of inspiration, and we may never know who it was, but we enjoy it, it’s part of the worn fabric of the fandom.

Will ppl remember me when/if I’m gone? I don’t need to be remembered, it’s enough that I was here at one point, and encouraged ppl to make fanworks, that I helped bring ppl together. I don’t need them to know it was me, specifically, or know much about me, this blog was never meant to be about me. Those I brought together might remember how they met. There are those who have seen behind the curtain and I hope to hang onto them as long as possible.

If/When this all disappears, I want ppl to know how much I enjoyed interacting with ppl through asks, the chat feature. I’ve missed answering asks, and I’ve missed the feeling of seeing new ask alerts without having to brace myself for Discourse. I’ve missed seeing that anon icon as a friendly, but shy, human being, rather than a living person who’s in pain, somewhere else in the world, throwing bricks through my window. Someone who’s suffering bc they’re not getting the attention they need, truly, someone who deserves to be loved, someone who needs validation for their opinions on things, and wanted mine, but I couldn’t give it. I’m only human, too. I made this blog for 15 year old me, who couldn’t find enough VC fanworks, so I set out to collect, make, and encourage them, but all in the spirit of optimism, bc that’s what I got out of canon. 15 year old me drew self esteem from those books. That’s the only person I ever wanted to please with this thing and that girl is still my priority. 

We’ll survive this purge, we’ve done it before. Hold onto the ppl who you’ve made connections with. I’ll be here as long as I can. 

Most importantly, I’m not letting the morality & purity police tell me what ’m allowed to learn about, make fanworks about, or enjoy in published or fan fiction, etc. 

[anx1oustig3r]

okay here’s the fanfic i’ve been working on. i re dubbed it “Serial Killers in the Snow” bc i think im funny

it’s going under a read more so it doesn’t take up space

 The air was bitter, icy and it stung the skin of anyone unfortunate enough to be walking through the frost covered streets of Gloomywood, and that unfortunate case was a tall, thin man only protected by a light coat and scarf. He was grumbling to himself as he carefully trudged along the ice, occasionally slipping and swearing out loud to no one in particular. He considered it lucky that the streets were empty.  

 The man walked up to an enormous building that cast a dark shadow over the surrounding area. Shivering, he pushed a button on the side, to which a sharp voice responded.

"Yeah? Who is it?"

"Sylvia, it's me." The man replied through grit teeth. The voice instantly perked up.

"Oh! Hi Ernie! I'll be down now, just give me two seconds!" 

 Ernest impatiently ran his hand through his black hair, brushing part of it to one side out of his eyes. He flinched as he felt the scar that ran across his head, an instinctive reaction he never unlearned as a child. He quickly brought his hand back to his side and stared in the window to the reception. Ernest had never actually been inside of Scarlett Tower before, something which Sylvia had reprimanded her security staff for. It was empty, save for two pedestals that held two large dolls.  

His head tilted upwards slightly as he saw Sylvia appear from the elevator. He caught himself smirking as he studied her outfit. She was dressed in a light pink thick jacket with darker pink gloves and snow pants to match. A little purple hat fit snugly on her head. The entire getup made her look rather silly. Ernest suppressed a chuckle as she opened the door. After all, who was he to judge? At least she was dressed appropriately.

"Jesus Ernie" Sylvia began, looking him up and down, 

"Are you not freezing?" Ernest shrugged.

"I'll warm up when we start walking" he waved his hand as he turned to walk down the steps. Sylvia grabbed his arm.

"I have a spare jacket if you want it? I can't let you walk around like that!" she persisted. 

"It's fine" he assured her, gesturing toward the stairs, 

"Come on, we don't want to be late. You know how Lewis gets."

Sylvia pouted for a moment, but her irritation quickly faded as Ernest held out his arm for her to link with.  

 The two had been walking for a while, occasionally sliding on the icy path. It frustrated Ernest to no end, but Sylvia found it fun and, it turn, it made the experience more bearable for the doctor. As they walked she rambled on about the happenings in Scarlett Tower: Albert still pestering her over finances, Elisa's fling with one of the security guards along with the following drama, and how the receptionist almost caught on to what was inside the crates she had delivered. Her ramblings were cut off, however, as the two noticed familiar figures approaching. 

"Doug! Paul" Sylvia called out as the two figures drew closer. Ernest raised a brow as they stopped in front of them. 

"Well look who it is! Gloomywood's favourite power couple!" Paul jested as he eyed the two of them while adjusting his ear muffs, his trademark sleazy grin plastered across his face. Beside him, Doug stood firmly with his arms crossed. Ernest felt tense as he looked at him. He had no reason to be unnerved by the sergeant, but Doug had a natural glare that could burn your skin if he looked at you for too long. Sylvia didn't seem bothered, however.

"You're damn right!" she exclaimed, lifting her head in pride, 

"We're basically royalty!" Paul laughed in response,

"You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart". Sylvia gave him a playful shove.

"You guys are walking together?" Ernest finally spoke up, 

"Paul, don't you live on the other side of town?"The two froze for a second before Doug took a step forward.

"Yeah but, uh, after the fight yesterday I told him he could stay at the Scrapyards since it was closer and he wouldn't have to make the trip across town at 3am." he explained, oddly avoiding eye contact. Ernest nodded, but beside him Sylvia snorted,

"Yesterday?" she questioned with a hint of amusement in her voice,

 "But, don't you host the fights on Fridays?". Doug's eye twitched as he turned to face her.

"I cancelled the fight for tonight because of the weather, I held it yesterday" he said, sternly. Sylvia turned to face Paul.

"Where did you even sleep?" she asked, tilting her head.

"On the floor" Paul replied almost too quickly, brushing the fur collar of his trench coat. His response earned him a sharp jab on the shoulder from Doug. He jerked his head toward him and curled his lip. 

"Wow, Doug" Sylvia laughed as Doug pushed past her, 

"You're so good to your guests". 

 Ernest jumped as Doug tugged on his shoulder, beckoning him to walk beside him as Sylvia and Paul trailed behind. 

"Sure is bitter cold today, huh Ernie?" Doug noted, clearly looking to change the subject.

"It's certainly biting." Ernest replied, cringing slightly. He actually hated being called 'Ernie', he only let Sylvia away with it since she was his girlfriend, but the others had started calling him by that nickname as a joke.

"You picked a great getup for this kinda weather." The sergeant remarked. Ernest looked him up and down. 

"This jacket may be light, but at least it's not camouflage patterned" he snorted at the winter gear Doug had chosen to wear. A set of camouflaged military gear complete with a cap that he had from his time in the Commandos. If it wasn't for his steel jaws and fiery glare he would look completely ridiculous. Doug gave a harsh chuckle.

"Well if we're ambushed, I'll be the one laughing while I stay fully invisible to the enemy". 

 The group eventually reached a large, shabby house with multiple garbage bags piled out the front. The others recoiled in disgust at the horrid stench while Ernest causally walked up to the door. It was no better at the hospital. He rang the bell and took a step back. The door opened and they were greeted by a small old woman.

"Hello" Ernest nodded formally, "Is Lewis here?" 

The woman's face softened as she began to recognise the group.

"Yeah, he's in the back. Come in, I'll go get him for you" she beckoned them in as she walked to the kitchen. They sat down at the kitchen table and Ernest began to study the room. During previous visits to the Normann household, he never got the chance to really take in the details of the front rooms, as anyone who Lewis considered a friend would be quickly ushered to the larger dining room in the back. He eyed the ominously pleasant photos on the wall, pictures of the different family members doing seemingly normal activities. He smiled slightly. The photos were clearly to throw off the police should they come examining the house.

"Ernie, what do you think?" The sound of Paul's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Excuse me?" he shook his head slightly in an attempt to wake himself up. The show host tutted and leaned forward. 

"We're talking about flipping coins" he said, firmly, 

"Sylvia thinks if you flip a coin three times the probability of getting a heads somehow changes, could you tell her that's not true in any way". Ernest looked over at his girlfriend and raised a brow. 

"The probability of 'heads heads heads' is lower than the others though. I-" 

"Oh thank god!" 

 As Sylvia tried to explain her argument, she was cut off by the hidden door opening and Doug's sigh of relief. Lewis stepped into the kitchen and removed the bloodied pig mask from his face. He looked as scruffy as ever, his long black hair draped unkemptly over his shoulders.

"Okay, Lewis I need your opinion on something" Paul began. Doug slammed his fist down on the table.

"Don't get him involved for the love of all things holy!" he growled, 

"It'll just end with this house on fire!" An awkward silence fell over them for a moment before Ernest turned to face Lewis.

"How has your morning been? Looks like you were up early" he asked. Lewis nodded,

"Yeah I was up at four. Ma told me to take a break today but I still wanted to get a bit of work done before you guys showed up, y'know?" 

 Ernest studied the blood that caked Lewis' hands and face. He noticed a handprint that smeared across his cheek.

"I see you had another fighter back there" he commented. The rest of the group winced.

"Ugh, those are the worst" Sylvia chimed in.

"Yeah" Paul agreed, "Doug once sent us up a scrappy little brat who bit the ever loving hell out of me when I tried to bring him into the arena, and no one else bothered to give me a hand because they were too busy laughing at me. It sucked".

"And I apologised for that" Doug grumbled. Lewis shrugged.

"It couldda been worse. The brat only decided she wanted to fight back after I took her leg". Another silence fell over the group before Sylvia spoke up,

"Any idea when Tonio said he'd be here?" she asked. 

"No, but if it ain't soon I'm gonna kick his ass when he does show up" Lewis mumbled in irritation. As if on queue, the doorbell rang and Lewis nearly leapt out of his seat as he left to answer the door. Ernest looked behind him as the front door opened to reveal a lanky man in a thick jacket with a scarf draped loosely around his neck, however what stood out to everyone was the messy face paint he was wearing.

"There ya are Tonio!" Ernest heard Lewis greet the clown impatiently,

"Any later and I wouldda chopped yer arm off!" Antonio laughed,

"Is that what happened to you?" Ernest quickly turned back around as he heard Lewis grumble to himself and walk upstairs. Antonio sauntered into the kitchen while Sylvia glared at him harshly. Ernest quietly hoped that they wouldn't start arguing about money. Everyone had gotten sick of listening to them fight about it.

"Took you long enough, Antonio!" Sylvia huffed. Ernest inhaled sharply. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Doug pushing his chair back and Paul taking his camera out of his coat pocket. The clown sat down but he simply grinned, they could all feel the impending sarcasm radiating from him. 

 The tension was broken as Lewis came back into the kitchen, throwing on his own winter jacket and a black hat. He didn't need to tell them they were leaving, as the group all stood up and manoeuvred toward the front door. 

"Alright, Ma, I'll be back later" Lewis called behind him as he walked out of the house and shut the door. Ernest shuddered from the cold and looked around. It had begun to snow while they were in the house. As Sylvia pressed close to him, he looked over at Lewis who was staring him down.

"Are you gonna be warm enough in that?" he tilted his head. Ernest gave a heavy sigh.

"He's been really stubborn about this all day," Sylvia chimed, 

"I offered him one of my spare jackets but he said he was fine catching a cold". She smiled up at him playfully and Ernest gave a sarcastic laugh in response,

"At least if I catch a cold that'll be an excuse for you to come and take care of me" he jested. 

"Can we at least pick somewhere to go before you guys start climbing all over each other?" Antonio piped up from the gate,

"As content as I am for you, I don't wanna be left standing around". Ernest felt his face go hot for a moment, but it was Antonio so it didn't bother him too much.

"What about the old sawmill?" Paul suggested, "People leave that place well alone, even in good weather." Doug furrowed his brow.

"And how do you know that?" he questioned. Paul shifted awkwardly.

"I like to...uh...take my projector up there...I can't really watch my films in my apartment now, can I? I'd be caught in no time!" Ernest felt Sylvia let go of his arm.

"The saw mill is way too far from here" she protested, "If we wanna go somewhere forest-y why not go to Westwood?" Doug stepped forward,

"Uh, I was looking forward to getting AWAY from my army" he noted, "Plus, hanging around in the forest around here is a really bad idea. You don't wanna meet the Wendigo!" Beside him, Paul shuddered. Ernest rolled his eyes,

"Wendigos are not real, Doug, they're just a legend!" He jumped as Paul jabbed his shoulder.

"I have seen this thing, Ernie, and it looks and acts like a god damn Wendigo!" his voice was wavering, "But, that's not the point. What Doug's trying to say is that Westwood is out of bounds and I fully support that notion." 

 Ernest gave a frustrated huff and linked him arm back with Sylvia's. The group stood in thought for a moment until Antonio spoke up,

"If we wanna go hide in the woods then, I guess, Silent Mounts is the only option. We can cut through Gloomyditch" he suggested. The rest of the group nodded, no one else had any better ideas. Antonio took the lead with Lewis trying to catch up to his side. Paul and Doug lingered at the back, leaving Ernest and Sylvia to take up the middle.

"A very formal formation" Ernest noted, jokingly. Sylvia glanced over her shoulder before turning back to him with a sly grin,

"Ah, there's reasons for everything" she pressed closer to his side. 

 The snowfall had become heavier by the time they reached Silent Mounts. Trudging through the thickening snow had worn them all out. Doug swept piles of snow from the benches so they could sit down. Ernest shivered as the iciness immediately cut through his thin clothes.

"Guys I bet you 20 bucks Ernie ends up with hypothermia at the end of the day" Paul laughed. 

"You are so on!" Antonio grinned, casting a challenging glance at Ernest, who could only continue to shiver.

"Ernie, if you want you can take my coat" Doug offered,"I've got a load of thermal gear on under this, so I can live without it for a few hours." 

"I'm fine" Ernest rejected, his teeth chattering. Sylvia huffed beside him,

"For god's sake, take the jacket, Ernie!" she scolded,"You need it! And I'm not gonna stop telling you to take it until you take it!"

"Alright, fine!" He grumbled as he walked over to Doug, who took the jacket off and handed it to him. As he put it on he steadily stopped shivering.

"Better?" Doug asked. Ernest nodded, relishing in the heat from the jacket,

"So much better...thank you." Doug laughed as he went to sit back down,

"In the future, if someone offers you a coat or something like that, don't be a stubborn bitch about it, yeah?" Ernest nodded as Sylvia proceeded to wrap her arms around him. 

"Dammit, Doug" he heard Paul snap, "I had 20 bucks riding on this, come on!"

"I'll give you 30 later if you stop complaining." Doug cut him off. Paul went quiet for a moment before mumbling an agreement.

  The sound of crunching snow caught Ernest's attention. He turned to see Antonio slowly pacing around. Shrugging, he turned back to face Lewis.

"It's so peaceful up here" he sighed, "The distant sounds of the city are all muffled by the heavy snow. I love it".

"Yeah" Lewis closed his eyes, "I love workin' in the shop 'n all, but it's good to get away from all the noise sometimes."

"Tell me about it" Sylvia agreed, "I couldn't wait to get out of that building today. There's just so much drama happening and I can't deal." Lewis sat up in interest,

"Drama? Ya mind spillin' some of that?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well..." Sylvia began. As she went on the same rant to Lewis as she did earlier, Ernest's attention drifted over to the other end of the bench. Paul was holding his camera at his side, talking to Doug who remained facing forward. Suddenly, Antonio reared up behind them with a massive pile of snow in his arms. Before Ernest could warn them, he crashed it down on Doug who leapt up with a shriek. Paul fell back on the bench, screaming from laughter.

"Please tell me you got that on tape!" Antonio laughed frantically. Paul pulled himself upright, hyperventilating.

"I think so! I had the lens aimed at his head the whole time!"

"You've gotta be KIDDING ME!" Doug roared as he brushed the snow from the back of his neck, "It's down my fuckin' shirt!" Paul was still in hysterics,

"Shouldn't have taken off your jacket the-" He suddenly yelped as Doug picked him up and began to walk towards a large pile of snow. Paul became frantic.

"Doug! No! I swear if you throw me in there I won-" He was cut off by his own screech as Doug chucked him into the snow pile, laughing maniacally. Sylvia and Lewis had lost track of their own conversation the second they heard Paul yelp. 

"That looks...fun" Lewis mumbled, standing up from the bench. Suddenly, he was pelted in the face with a snowball, courtesy of Antonio.

"You son of a bitch!" he growled, packing a snowball of his own and lobbing it in the clown's direction. The snowball caught Antonio's arm, causing him to drop the second snowball he had.

"Hey! I wanna fight Tonio too!" Sylvia jumped up and began rapid making snowballs.  Ernest looked back over at the snow pile. Doug was extending a hand out to Paul to help him up. As Paul grabbed his hand, he lurched forward, wrapping his arms around Doug's neck, and pulled him down into the snow pile.

"How's that feel, bitch!" Paul jeered as he took a handul of snow and smashed it in Doug's face. 

"You're dead meat, Winnie!" Doug growled playfully. As Paul scrambled out of the snow pile he was smacked in the face by a snowball from Lewis. Before Lewis could even register what happened, Doug hurled a snowball directly at back at him.

"I'm the only one who's allowed to kill him, Lewis!" he called out. Ernest chuckled to himself as he watched his friends mess around in the snow. It brought him back to the first Winter in the orphanage. 

 Krach had locked them outside as some kind of endurance test. The only way they were able to cope was to just play in the snow. They didn't think the professor was watching them, but he was, as they were never locked out in the snow again. Since that day, moments like this had become rare for them. While they met up frequently, it was never to mess around like this.

"Ernie! Grab a snowball! It's three against two and we need your help!" Sylvia's shout snapped him out of his thoughts. Her and Lewis were getting bombarded with snowballs from Doug, Paul and Antonio. With a playful grin he grabbed as much snow as he could. and began throwing them wildly at the others.

  Lewis was right, it was good to get away from the noise and chaos of the lives they lived, and while things would return to their hectic states not long afterwords, it felt good to live in this moment. Because for a moment, they felt like kids again. Things felt okay in the world.

[bonkaisecretsanta]

Happy holidays @shayspencer from @fuckitimfangirling​!

Summary: They're doomed, probably. He still wants that heartbreak anyway. Warnings: Role reversal of sorts; pre-show/S1/S2 AU; alternative Salvatore backstory to fit the story and bc some things in canon did NOT fit Civil War era customs; bg DE; KC and SK if you squint; dark themes; abuse; bullying; murder; violence; underage not-quite-smut; dead and dying characters; angsty bullfuckery; mentions of suicide; anachronistic storytelling 💔🔫 = past, 💀🔫 = present (s1/2 AU stuff); de-aged Kai (b. 1991)

Grams makes her put on her nice dress, the one reserved for special occasions at church. It's pretty, yellow and red, and super fluttery - it makes Bonnie feel like a princess - but it's also too layered and itchy for the muggy weather. The AC in the old courthouse is down, and the windows are open while electric fans whir. The relief is transient when the rotating air cools her form. Bonnie, in all her seven year old discomfort, feels oppressed. Wearing so many layers of cotton and gauze in such heat is probably against the law. She'll ask Judge Kincannon.

But Grams had been stern and left no room for argument when she woke Bonnie early to braid her hair and get her dressed, so Bonnie suffers in silence. The older Bennett woman seems anxious, looking at her watch repeatedly as they wait for someone to arrive.

Truthfully, Bonnie is confused. They arrived nearly an hour ago and after speaking briefly with Old Sheriff Wilson and Mrs. Forbes, who quickly disappeared, Grams told her she would make a new friend soon. It was exciting news. But it's been an hour and she's bored.

Her legs kick the air in patterns. Left, right, left, right. The swinging makes them feel heavy and cold, like metal. Bonnie is made of steel, like Superman. She bet she could be a hero like him too, save lots of people and everyone would love her like they love him.

“Bonnie! Bonnie!” the crowd cheers in her mind. Her imagination is distracting, to the point she misses when Grams stands up. She doesn't miss the sharp swat on her shoulder or the side-eye from her Grams as she hops to attention. Bonnie smoothes her dress out and clasps her hands behind her back like they teach in school, and smiles pretty. Her knew friend must be coming!

Mrs. Forbes is back, this time without Old Sheriff Wilson. Bonnie can't really see him at first, because he's half hidden behind Mrs. Forbes’ legs, but then the police officer comes to a stop and Bonnie can see the little bruised hand gripping at her belt loop.

“Come on, honey,” Mrs. Forbes coaxes. It's the same voice she uses at sleepovers, when it's time Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena to settle down into bed. Blue-grey eyes peek out out from behind her, small face as bruised as the knuckles. The other little person is a boy, smaller than even her. Bonnie thinks he must run around a lot, if he has so many scrapes. Grams is always yelling at her not to run for fear of getting hurt.

The boy glances between her and Grams then retreats back behind Mrs. Forbes.

“No, no, Malachai,” the blonde officer states. “This is Miss Sheila Bennett, your foster mother. You'll be staying with her now.”

She moves herself so that she's standing behind the boy, her hands on his shoulders and patting soothingly. Bonnie can see the sling that holds his left arm and the patch of gauze taped to his head. His hair is buzzed short, to the point where she can see a scar zigzagging across the top of his head. It takes her by surprise and she can't stop the tumble of words from leaving her mouth.

“What happened to you?” the question sounds almost accusatory, even to her own ears and she flinches at herself even before Grams swats her again. The boy grimaces as well, looking down as Grams tells her to apologize. He swallowing hard and he looks like he's biting back tears. Bonnie is instantly apologetic.

She steps forward and tries to take his good hand, but he pulls it away from her. Bonnie doesn't pursue it.

“I'm sorry,” she says. “I didn't mean it. I'm Bonnie. Want to be my friend?” This time she holds out her hand, leaving the choice up to him. The boy stares at it and takes a breath and reaches out and Bonnie feels hope flutter. And die, when he pushes her hand down gently and walks past her to her Grams.

“May we go now, please ma'am?” He says politely. Grams looks between her and the boy - Malachai Mrs. Forbes had called him - and nods.

“C’mon Bon,” in her Grams’ voice, she can hear the implied try again later and so she follows dutifully behind, anticipating an awkward drive home. Bonnie's hand burns where Malachai touched her.

💔🔫

The drive is awkward and so is dinner. Kai (he asked to be called this instead of Malachai) is her age, but where he is polite and obedient towards her Grams, he all but ignores Bonnie when he can. When he must interact with her, his responses are short and he avoids her space like she's diseased. It's infuriating. He acts like she isn't there and it makes Bonnie’s temper flare. She wants to shake him and scream at him until he looks at her, says or does something. It's the most destructive feeling she's ever felt and it overwhelms her.

By the time her dad arrives to take her home, Bonnie’s fists ache from being clenched. She doesn't know why she’s so angry. He wasn't even mean - Tyler Lockwood had dumped a bottle of glue on her head once, the meanest thing anyone’s ever done to her, and they were friends. She shouldn't be so put out by Kai’s non-reactions.

But the anger is still there when she gets ready for bed, when her dad tucks her in, when she goes to sleep. It seeps into her bone marrow, takes over the fresh blood cells that enter her body. It remains when she wakes up the next day.

If Kai doesn't want to be her friend, fine. Bonnie will hate him like no one else has before.

💔🔫

Maybe he should've tried harder to be her friend. From Miss Sheila’s sighs and and heavy looks, Kai knows that she at least thinks he should have. But her perfect little granddaughter looked so pristine in her dress, like some sort of rose, green eyes pricking him like bramble. It was uncomfortable at best. Then she looked at him with something like disgust twisting her pretty face as she asked what happened to him, the likes of which she couldn't possibly fathom...Kai hated her in that moment. He'd never felt so low for what his dad did, never fell victim to self-blame, never thought he could have done anything to prevent it until that question.

What happened to you?

And shit (and he knows better than to use that word around Miss Sheila, he can tell how strict she is) maybe it was. Maybe if he wasn't what he was, maybe if he'd still been of any use to the coven.

What happened to you?

Joshua Parker did. It's not his fault. His dad was crazy.

Kai insists on doing the dishes, but Miss Sheila only allows him to clear the table because of his arm. He wants to help and his arm is healing nicely - it's his head that's killing him - but she hears none of it. When he finishes, the older witch shows him where he'll be sleeping and he gets ready for bed without prompt or protest. He doesn't want to cause any trouble. But sleep tugs heavy at him and his bad arm is starting to ache real bad along with his headache and he just wants to take his medicine and go to sleep. The faster he finishes his self-designated chores, the sooner he can do that.

When his head hits the pillow he decides he'll try once more with Bonnie. He'll apologize for his behavior and they'll be friends and when he starts up at school with her, she'll introduce him to her other friends and he can be himself without any worries about covens or merges or restoring family honor. It will be a fresh start, a new life better than the last. An adventure. Kai likes adventures.

His will start in the morning.

💔🔫

Joshua’s house is a gory mess when Jason finishes his walk through. He's back where he started, the spot where he found his brother attempting to beat his own son to death.

The Supreme feels sick, staring down at the small puddle of his nephew's half-coagulated blood.

He'd felt Melissa go first, then Josette quickly after. It was sudden and felt so violent that Jason doubled over from nausea and pain as he felt his coven members leave him. He'd summoned his Enforcers and the Board of Regents immediately then ported to his brother's house the second he was able. He'd been too late to save Joey and he'd barely been able to save Kai. Kai, his favorite of his nieces and nephews, whose tiny body felt so light when Jason had scooped him up. If it hadn't been for the boy’s shallow breaths and their faint connection, he might have thought his nephew dead like the rest. He can still hear his older brother's mindless, angry rants.

It should have been me, he had screamed. If you weren't an abomination, you could have made it right, he'd yelled at Kai.

Jason scowls at the memory. Josh hadn't ever deserved Kai. Any of his kids, really. His crazy older brother had been right in some respects. Coven leader was his potential birthright, but his own twin had died in a freak accident. Jason and Isla had been the spares.

But Kai was not an abomination and Jason would fight tooth and fucking nail to prove it to anyone who said otherwise.

He peels his eyes away from the browning puddle. Kai is safe now and the Gemini Supreme intends to keep it that way. Joshua is in coven holdings, preparing to be dealt with. Jason hopes he goes crazy trapped alone in the prison world he has ready for him.

For now though, there's an injured little boy that needs him.

💔🔫

He’s not able to talk to Bonnie the next day. She has school and he has a doctor’s appointment and a meeting with his uncle’s lawyer at the police station. The other man is a Gemini witch that Kai vaguely recognizes. He talks to him like he’s very slow and Kai doesn’t know how to tell him he has a prodigious IQ, that his dad’s break down didn’t erase it.

Although maybe his head injury did.

The police set up a camera and Kai answers all the questions as best as he can. Getting his head cracked open with bat didn’t make him dumber (luckily), but it made that night fuzzy. He can barely remember anything, just the fear and the stink of Joey’s pee. Even that memory makes him sad. He misses his brother.

“And where was your mother when you and Joey were hiding in the wardrobe?”

“She was with my dad in the room, trying to get him out. She was asking him to stop. She kept saying ‘calm down, Josh,’” Kai answers mechanically. He feels distant. Like he’s watching TV, but the TV is his body. His own hands don’t look real. The doctor used fancy words for it at the hospital. Trauma dissociation. Kai is dissociating because he suffered trauma.

He answers the rest of the questions like a robot, pretending he’s the Terminator. He wants to go home, back to Portland, before May ninth, before his dad hated him.

When it’s over, the lawyer thanks him and tells him he’s a strong boy. That he should focus on living a good life and that he’ll never have to worry his father hurting him again. Kai doesn’t want to know. Ever. The camera is off, so the lawyer blesses him and the familiar heat of friendly magic feeds Kai. The feeling wears off soon, but it’s enough to remind him of home.

By the time he gets back to Miss Sheila’s, it’s late and he’s started shaking. Kai falls in the older witch’s arms like the little boy he is and cries himself to sleep. He never gets to speak with Bonnie.

💔🔫

Kai doesn’t get to apologize the next day either. His head hurts and he’s sick from the magic being worked on him at a distance. Sheila explains that his coven leader is severing Kai’s connection from the Gemini Coven so that Joshua can’t track him that way. It’s for his safety, she assures. Kai still feels abandoned.

The boy cries himself to sleep. He never gets to speak with Bonnie.

💔🔫

When the connection breaks, it wakes Kai up. It’s very weird, like something he’s suddenly been dropped into ice water when he’s always been warm. He doesn’t like it. His back itches, feels colder than the rest of him, and it tastes like magic, so Kai gets up and goes to the restroom.

He has to take his sling off to remove his shirt and he jostles the cast slightly. He hisses quietly, rubbing at it until the sting fades, then he turns and twists so he can see his back.

There’s an intricate scar on his upper back. It looks like someone branded his skin with clock cogs, but when he runs his fingers over it, the skin is smooth and cool and sensitive to the touch. Kai shivers, retracting his good hand. The design looks very familiar, like something he might have read before. Kai racks his brain, but he’s tired and can’t think of it. It’s magic related, so maybe he can ask Miss Sheila later.

Curiosity satisfied, Kai puts his shirt in the bathroom hamper and goes back to bed. He feels better now, still a little sad, but he thinks tomorrow, he’ll finally be able to set things right with Bonnie.

💀🔫

Things never really get right between Kai and Bonnie. For that interim between when they first met to when they'd been able to spend more time with each other, the combination of Sheila’s initial focus on him and Kai’s dismissive attitude had poisoned Bonnie to the idea of building anything fruitful between them. Sheila’s refusal to divulge anything magic-related to Bonnie was another point of contention between all three of them. Kai disagreed with Sheila, but kept the secret, and Bonnie, nobody's fool, could tell they were keeping something from her, which led to her jealousy and resentment.

By the time Damon Salvatore swaggers into town with his bourbon and black leather and blacker moods, the animosity between Bonnie and Kai is a well-fed beast. Kai had resigned himself to merely keeping it contained between the two of them.

💀🔫

Bonnie didn't have a lot a people she cared about. She could count them literally on one hand: Elena, Caroline, her dad, Grams, and in some weird way, stupid Kai Parker. To some extent, she cared for Elena and Caroline’s families, but only in that they belonged to her best friends and were a part of them. Her relationship with every single one of her people was complicated.

Elena and Bonnie were closer to each other than Caroline, but they didn't always like each other either. Caroline was too insecure and competitive towards Elena and too dismissive of Bonnie. Sometimes, she preferred other cheerbots to them. Elena wasn’t coddling enough for Caroline’s ego and too often took Bonnie for granted. Bonnie wasn’t trusting enough towards either of them sometimes, because Elena was too selfish and Caroline was too controlling. Blonde and brunette both agreed Bonnie could be too ruthless or too passive with no in-between. They were best friend from childhood though, with a deep platonic love, and any of the girls would kill for the other two. It was a weird tumultuous relationship between the trio. Sometimes they were more enemies than friends.

Rudy cared, but he was a textbook workaholic. If Bonnie kept herself out of trouble and Grams didn't report any misgivings, Rudy Hopkins was content to give his daughter all the freedom and funding in the world. Grams was something weird. She was Bonnie's favorite person in the world, no doubt, but she was always lying to Bonnie about something big - something Kai knew about - and it angered Bonnie. At first, she figured it had something to do with Kai because whatever happened to him had been so bad that the records were sealed and the newspaper clippings had limited information regarding the events. Regardless, Bonnie had some resentment towards both parental figures.

Her dynamic with Kai was the most convoluted. They were arch-nemeses, their antagonism comparable to what Elena had with Jeremy, but worse. Bonnie used to do everything she could to get him kicked out, before she learned the timid truth. Over the years, they’ve had friendly moments, because he was Grams’ foster son and Bonnie was often at her Grams’ home when her dad wasn’t around. They’ve seen each other at their worst, in states no one else ever got to witness, not Elena or Caroline, or whoever Kai’s Elena-or-Caroline was.

But they were never friends. Bonnie can’t be friends with Kai, and he can’t be friends with her, and neither one can pinpoint exactly when the opportunity passed. No matter what weaknesses she sees and let’s him see, it was only ever between them. Bonnie had her friends and suitors who never stuck around. Kai had his little flings. None of their people were able to get in deep with them the way they got in with each other. So much of Kai occupied Bonnie, because so much of who she was hinged on negating him. It was the same for him, she could tell. There was no room between them for anyone else.

Bonnie cares deeply for very few people and she's not incredibly receptive to strangers. They tended to fuck things up.

💀🔫

Which is why, that Wednesday night when that bourbon-drinking, wearing-leather-in-the-summer freak shows up on Grams’ porch, she hates him immediately. Her mood is already at an all time low. Her Prius is getting a tune-up and because Grams’ works an hour outside of Mystic Falls, Kai is the one taking her home from Elena’s parents’ funeral.

Caroline had offered, but the blonde’s own absentee parent had showed up and Bonnie encouraged her to spend time with him. Between Bonnie’s AWOL mom and Elena’s orphan status, both girls wanted Caroline to soak up her parents’ presences.

Kai drives them from the funeral, says nothing to her and expects nothing from her. The air in the old Toyota is somber and Bonnie doesn't even look up from her phone until she hears him mutter “who the hell is that?”

He's squinting up at the porch, where a dark-haired man is sitting on the porch swing, elbows braced on his knees. Even in the dusky twilight air, his blue eyes are bright and piercing and focused on them. It unnerves her.

“Friend of yours?” Kai inquires. Bonnie wants to snap at him, but his tone is neutral and the question makes sense. She shakes her head in a negative.

“Let's go somewhere else,” she tells him. It's unlike her and Kai eyes her and turns off the car. She scowls.

Of all the times for him to be contradictory, it's when a potential murderer is gawking at them from her grandmother's porch. Typical.

She follows him out, sticking close. Bonnie hates Kai on a good day, but he's familiar to her. She trusts him to antagonize her, to annoy her, and hurt her feelings. She also trusts him to keep her safe. This guy? She doesn't trust him at all. He watches them watch him.

“Someone die?” he greets. Bonnie's opinion of him plummets more. Kai just hits him with the quirked brow. The Gilberts were a pretty beloved family - their funeral procession had been huge.

“Yeaaaah,” Kai stretches the word out. “Did you know the Gilberts?”

The guy's face does something weird. He appears mildly amused. “I knew some Gilberts, yes.”

His expression becomes serious and he stands. “Does Sheila Bennett still live here? I need to ask her something.”

Bonnie peeks from where she's been using Kai as a human shield and glares at the guy.

“What do you want with Grams?”

The guy assesses her, tilting his head and letting his eyes wander up and down her form. It’s predatory and makes Bonnie feel like meat before Kai rearranges himself between them. He's thumbing at his rings like he tends to do when he's agitated. The guy in leather smirks and answers her as though Kai wasn't there.

“Well, little bird, I'm in need of a Bennett witch.”

Bonnie almost laughs, but the way Kai's body stiffens in front of her chases off her amusement. She can see his default devious expression shift into something dark and angry. It sends Bonnie's belly to the floor.

With a grunt, the man follows Bonnie's stomach, crashing to his knees and clutching his head. Kai ushers Bonnie into the house, quickly following her.

“You need to leave,” Kai snaps at the stranger. “Your kind isn't welcome in this town, let alone at this residence. If you come back, I'll report you to the Council.”

With that he slams the door shut, leaving Bonnie with dozens of questions on her tongue.

💔🔫

About a week after Kai's banishment, his coven leader shows up on Miss Sheila's stoop. She lets him in with a smile, then leaves him and Kai alone with a pitcher of lavender lemonade and a round, blue tin of old lady cookies.

Kai picks at a thread hanging from his shorts. His uncle, feeling just as awkward, chugs two glasses of lemonade then plays with the cup. Man and boy peek at each other and are surprised to catch eyes. Jason makes a funny face and Kai chuckles. The tension eases.

“Kai,” the Supreme starts. “You know it's not your fault right? None of this,” he waves his hand around, indicates the general this. “Is your fault. Josh was sick and he heard something he didn't like and he snapped.”

Kai pulls at thread. “Dad said I was an abomination. He said if I'd been worth anything, the Regents would have let you name me and Jo as your heirs.”

Uncle Jason’s face gets dark. “That’s not really your fault Kai, no matter what anyone says.”

“If I was a normal witch and not a siphon, they would have said yes and dad wouldn't have done what he did.”

Uncle Jason grimaces. “Fuck Josh,” he growls lowly and runs his hand over his face. He looks so much like Kai’s dad (Like Jo and Joey. Like Kai.), it physically hurts Kai to look at him, some odd mixture of fear and longing hitting the child.

“Kai, I want you to listen to me carefully,” the Supreme reaches out and clutches his nephew's shoulders. The hold is firm and gentle and Kai basks in his uncle’s warmth.

“The Regents gave a conditional no. They wanted you to go through some intense training before naming you a prospective heir. Your dad was for it, but I vetoed the option.”

At Kai’s dismayed look, Jason wiggled his fingers under the boy's chin and smiles when Kai squirms.

“The training is very dangerous and an extremely outdated and prejudiced practice. The point is to overload a siphon with so much magic they absorb it permanently. It doesn't work. Most siphons die, slowly and painfully, because the spell leaves them open to all kinds of magical backlash, the constant influx of which causes deformities and madness. Do you understand? You would have been tortured to death by your own family.

“Trust me Kai, none of this is on you. Josh was sick. He was willing to let you go through torture and very likely die just for the prospect of being named heir.”

Jason ruffles Kai's dark hair. “You think I would’ve let that happen to my favorite nephew?”

Kai shakes his head. He feels happy and sad and angry and warm. He used to always wish to himself that Jason had been his dad. The thought used to fill him with guilt, but now Kai utters it without any thought.

Jason looks sad. “Me too,” he mutters. “But only if I just got you. No merge to lose you to.”

Kai feels...a lot. He launches himself at his uncle, who grunts, but hugs the kid. He pretends not to notice Kai’s sobs.

Jason strokes his back and stands, walking around and letting Kai cling to him. It's embarrassing. Kai’s eight, a smart and mature third-grader, not a baby. But he feels safe for the first time in months, so Kai lets the embarrassment go.

“No matter what, Kai, you've got me okay?” the Supreme rubs his back, where the intricate pattern adorns Kai’s skin. “This means you're safe. From the coven, the Regents, your dad. But you have me, whenever you need me, okay? Not just as your Supreme, but as your family. I love you, kid.”

Kai holds onto those last four words like a lifeline.

💀🔫

Bonnie screeches like a damn banshee when she's angry and Kai's tight-lipped disposition has her incensed. His ears are fucking ringing like bells by the time Sheila slips through the front door and takes control of the situation.

“Sit your behind down,” she calls after Kai when he tries to slip away.

Kai makes a face while his back is to her, careful not to let her see it. Sheila is a good mother, for all intents and purposes, but she's quick with discipline if she senses disrespect. It's mild to what Kai’s dealt with before, but she ran a tight ship that he’s careful not to rock.

“Now what happened?” she questions and holds up her hand for silence. when Bonnie starts up again about strange men, witches, and Kai being a freak.

“Speak up,” the Bennett matriarch commands him. Kai feels a headache coming on. He tells her everything about the visiting vampire anyway.

Bonnie’s obviously in a state of disbelief listening to him, except she had witnessed Kai drop the vampire with a thought. The mundane denial she'd been raised in wars against her nature and witch’s intuition. The inner conflict makes her waspish and snarky, to the point even Sheila loses her temper.

The fireplace blazes to life and the dining set levitates.

Bennett fire, Kai thinks watching Sheila watch Bonnie. Both generations of women are tense.

Instead of addressing her grandmother, Bonnie turns her attention to Kai. He's not even surprised. It's easier for her to spit vitriol at him than her beloved grandmother.

“Is this what you've been lying to me about all these years?”

There's a challenge in her eyes and a plea in her voice. Kai can't tell what she wants from him, but he gives her what he can. He ignores Sheila’s warning glare and tells Bonnie the truth.

💀🔫

Sentimentality and a sense of masochism made Damon stop at the bridge in the sleepy Virginian town again.

Mystic Falls was still a hole-in-the-wall, barely a blip on anyone's map. The grand return of The Comet was around the bend, bringing with it a slew of hatred and bitterness Damon had housed for the better half of a century. His grudge against Katherine Pierce had become a lifelong companion, his food, his bedmate, his liquor. Take away everything from Damon and he'd still have his hate.

His mood is dense. It settles on him like the fog he conjures and he thinks maybe killing someone would ease the hurt. It used to help. He'd find a pretty brunette and pretend she was Katherine and torture her to death. Soon enough the practice lost its appeal, but the indulgence of bloodlust was cathartic. Klaus had always encouraged it.

He sips bourbon a silver flask said Original has gifted him. Damon had been loyal to him for decades now - since the first Great War. World War. Whatever. It had been nice to meet another vampire on the front lines, to tell his story without any edits or omissions. To miss Stefan and have someone understand that depth of grief, how it had consumed him for centuries, how of course he could never forgive the conniving devil woman that led both brothers to their respective ends.

Imagine his surprise to learn that Klaus had also had it out for Miss Pierce. Petrova. Bitch wonder. Whatever.

So Damon agreed to work for him in pursuit of Katherine. The doppelganger had been his white whale, and he'd waited patiently for the advent of a new Petrova doppelganger. Imagine this surprise when that line guided him back to his hometown.

He almost didn't come. But he's already established that he's a sentimental masochist. Damon downs the last of his bourbon, stares out at the yellow DO NOT CROSS tape and orange roadblocks that wall off the broken bridge.

The night he ripped the human doppelganger out of the car...it had been his bad. He'd wanted to see her, wanted to frighten the family, have bit of a laugh before compelling them to forget the encounter. Instead he'd frightened them right off the bridge and into the water below.

Honest to god, he almost just walked off. He'd sped to the edge and spent almost two minutes just staring at them, wondering if anyone would come by and save them. When it became clear no one was around, he had dived in to save the girl.

Klaus would probably kill him if he found out Damon was the reason he had to wait another five hundred years to break his curse.

He pulled her out of the wreckage and breathed life back into the girl. Wet eyelashes fluttered and he compelled her to find help, that an animal ran out on the bridge and her dad instinctively tried to go around, driving off the bridge. He told her to stay safe because he was coming back for her.

And now he's stuck here, waiting for Katherine to show up like a mouse to a mousetrap. Waiting to give Klaus the green light to snatch her ugly heart out of her chest and for both men to get their revenge. Waiting until the Bennett witch (witches?) can be persuaded to lift Klaus’ curse. It's been so long and having the end in sight is a welcome thing. Soon it will be over and he can rest.

Damon is so tired after all.

💀🔫

He arrives after the kids leave for school. Sheila is tired and not in the mood for company, so she putters around inside before she finally decides to meet him. The vampire Kai described the night before is waiting on her porch swing when she steps out and Sheila pauses in her motions, facing him. He tips an imaginary hat to her.

“Morning ma'am,” he greets. “I'm Damon.”

The old antebellum accent he speaks with sounds completely natural on him, as at odds as it is to his appearance. Sheila studies him, her brow wrinkling in thought.

“You look like that Salvatore boy that runs the boarding house.”

He chuckles, seemingly surprised.

“Zach?” he questions, accent gone. “He's my great grandson.”

Sheila takes a seat in the rocking chair adjacent to him and indicates that he should continue. Damon licks his lips.

“You're not afraid of the big, bad bloodsucker?” he questions. His tone is something odd. Amused and apathetic. Bored and tempestuous. Even when he'd been hamming up the accent, he'd been both too distant and too emotional about it.

“I heard you were looking for me. Seems unlikely you'd attack if you need a Bennett witch to do your bidding.”

The vampire smirks, stretching his arms out along the back of the of the swing. His leather jacket sits in his lap, black like the rest of his attire. Boot-clad feet push the swing as he tips his head back, eyes closed. The gloom in his aura matches his look. Mighty handsome as he is, those angelic looks hid a soul blackened by the worst of human emotions.

“In 1864, I was doing quite well for myself. I'd done all a good first-born southern boy was supposed to do at the time. Married well, had a boy I adored, partnered with my father in the family business, funded and fought in war I didn't believe in, and came home due to injury,” here he pats his shoulder sardonically.

“The ideal Virginia gentleman, even though I hated myself for it. I never wanted to do or be any of that, but I loved my little brother more than life itself. I had few freedoms so Stefan could have them all. That's what older brothers are supposed to do, you understand.

“1864 was also a year when Mystic Falls was infested with vampires. It was quite unbeknownst to us Council members, but one of your mighty ancestors Emily had teamed up with a vamp named Katherine for one thing or another -”

“Safe harbor,” Sheila interrupts. “Suspicions about Emily being a witch were high, I'm sure you're aware. Especially after she turned down Jonathan Gilbert’s...employment offers. Katherine was to make sure Emily and her children made it safely to the Gemini coven in Oregon. She got the children there, by the way.”

The vampire stares at her and nods slowly.

“Noted. Anyway, Emily had made these nifty daylight rings for Katherine and her friends,” he waves his own through the air. “So they went undetected by the Council for a while. My own father housed Katherine as a refugee displaced by the war. It was during that time, she got her hooks in Stefan. When the Council discovered her true identity, she was captured with the other vampires with the intent of burning them all alive.

“Stefan attempted to rescue her. I attempted to stop him. But he was my brother and he fancied himself in love, and he pleaded with me to let them go. Said she was his heart…,” the vampire trails off, lost in thought. “I let them go, but my father was nearby and witnessed the whole thing. He shot us both to death rather than risk the family name being tarnished. Katherine ran off, saved her own skin - and your ancestors’ as well, I reckon - and I watched my brother die reaching out for a woman who didn't look back once as she left him there to die.”

Sheila is quiet. She can sense the anger brewing under his skin, but had Katherine not left the brothers, she and hers might not be here. She understands his pain, but it is what it is.

“Imagine my surprise,” Damon continues. “When I wake up in transition. Emily was there and explained that Katherine had been sneaking me her blood and compelling me to forget. I was to be a surprise for Stefan. Or leverage, depending on your perspective. To convince him to transition for her. She'd wanted him to choose to be like her, so he didn't have any vampire blood in his system when he died. But in doing that, she took my choice away. She left Emily behind to die as well - or whatever they had worked out - and your ancestor offered me a monster’s ring and told me what remaining options I had.”

“Why did you choose to be a vampire?” Sheila inquires, curious. “You seem to not be your kind’s biggest fan.”

Damon shrugs. “It is what it is,” he unknowingly echoes her sentiments. “I'd already lost everything - my father had spread word Stefan and I died trying to stop Katherine’s escape, so I couldn't go home. But I could have revenge.“

The silence that follows is heavy. Sheila absorbs his.story, filling in the gaps of his story with what she'd read in Emily’s grimoire. No matter how she turned it, Katherine’s role in moving Doris, Eileen, and Charles to Oregon had been fairly minimal. Emily had had back-up plans, which she wrote like Katherine had been aware of, so Sheila finds herself having a hard time condemning the man.

“And you need me for this revenge?”

Damon smiled coldly. “Why yes ma'am, I do,” he replies. The accent is back.

💀🔫

Bonnie ignoring him isn't anything new. Neither is her bullying him or encouraging her friends to bully him.

He doesn't know what he expected. This weird combination of making him miserable and pretending he doesn't exist wasn't it though. After he drops her off for summer cheer practice, she finally deigns to look up from furiously messaging on her phone to let him know Caroline would take her to pick up her car.

When she gets out, she greets Tyler who looks after her like a hungry puppy before turning a hard gaze on Kai.

Shit.

Kai tries to pull out but another car is blocking him. He's trapped. His car door is slammed open and he's yanked outside. No magic on mundanes, he tells himself right before throwing a punch at whoever had him gripped.

It's like six on one, but he refuses to be the only one leaving with bruises, so he doesn't bother holding back his temper. Kai is six feet, one-ninety pounds but the football players are all his size or bigger, so the fight back is difficult. He makes sure to nail Lockwood in the fucking face though. Jerk.

Tanner’s whistle blows and the players dissipate, leaving behind Kai and the asshole history coach. The two men eye each other before Tanner speaks.

“We have a wrestling team, you should consider trying out.”

Kai frowns at him. He can't tell if that was sarcasm or a legitimate pitch, but he doesn't care. He gets in his car and drives off, angry and biting it back.

Leave it to Bonnie to punish him for telling the truth. Nevermind his good intentions.

💔🔫

The next time he finally sees Bonnie, it's his first day at school. She's a grade below him, but she's one of the town’s three sweethearts, so everyone in nearby grades sat as close to her table as possible.

“Hi Bonnie,” he greets when he's able to push to the front. A blonde-haired boy eyes him suspiciously, but Kai ignores him. Bonnie, in turn, ignores Kai.

“I wanted to say sorry for the last time we saw each other. I was really rude to you and it doesn't matter what else happened, I shouldn't have been so mean to you,” Kai apologizes. Bonnie doesn't look away from her chattering friends. Kai's temper rises.

“Bonnie, listen to me!” he snaps, grabbing her wrist. Temper flaring, he forgets himself. He forgets that for all Bonnie's magic is latent, it’s still there, just beneath her skin, in her blood and part of her very soul. He forgets he's a soul eater. In his anger, Kai unintentionally siphons her.

Bonnie yowls, yanking her arm away, but Kai had thrown her away at the very first taste of Bennett magic on his skin. She looks at him with betrayal, clutching her arm to her chest. Everyone is staring at them in shock.

“I-I'm sorry. I didn't - I didn't mean to, Bonnie, I'm -,” Kai stammers. Bonnie interrupts.

“Go away! I hate you, just leave me alone! You freak!” At her outburst, the chatter picks up.

“Yeah, go away, freak.”

“Did you see what he did to Bonnie? What a jerk.”

“A monster.”

Someone grabs his lunch tray and dumps the contents on him. Someone else shoves Kai off the lunch bench.

“Go away.”

“We don't want you to sit here.”

“Disappear, freak.”

Food and wrappers are tossed at Kai, and he stumbles away, out of the cafeteria. Two lunch aids, talking to each other, stop him when they see him trying to leave. Kai says he slipped and dropped his lunch tray, and that he was going to the restroom to clean up. They let him pass.

Kai spends the rest of the lunch period quietly crying in the big stall.

💀🔫

She said no. Of course, she did, Damon had expected no less. Regardless, the comet is weeks away and Damon is on a mission. If Sheila won't do it, maybe her pretty little granddaughter might find incentive. He doesn't particularly care if Sheila gets the Council sniffing after his tail. He just needs the girls, the wolf boy, and Katherine, then finally, finally he can rest.

Through his ravens, Damon watches the Bennett girl and her blonde friend through cheer practice. The doppelganger isn't with them, probably still grief-stricken. They leave for the town garage and the blonde drops the little bird off. They make plans to meet at the Mystic Grill and when the blonde girl is sitting alone in her booth, Damon slides in opposite her.

“Mind if I sit here?” he croons, meeting her gaze. He watches as a familiar carnal hunger fills her face and her pupils dilate. Hook, line, and sinker.

It pays to be patient.

💀🔫

School starts. Kai is a senior, so his last science course is one of three electives and he chooses astronomy over psychology and forensic science. Kai’s had his fill of both over the years. Of course though, Bonnie is fast-tracked and an honors student. They're in the same class and Mrs. Galloway partners them for the course.

Kai’s still bruised up from two weeks ago, an ugly yellow settling under the bags if his eyes. Whatever. Prickwood’s nose is still splinted.

They get their syllabi and look over it as Mrs. Galloway explains the year long partner project. They're supposed to track the progression of a constellation over the course of the school year and make a presentation at the end of the year of what they tracked. And of course, because it's Mrs. Galloway’s class, she wants three written reports for the project, the first being a five-to-seven page partnered paper on their constellation’s history and the last two being individual reflective papers on the project that they'll turn in with their final presentation.

Kai sighs internally and considers dropping the class along with the other chattering seniors. He doesn't really want to do so much work in his last year, let alone have to partner with Bonnie. But Mrs. Galloway comes by with a cup of constellation names and a warm smile, and dammit she was Kai’s favorite science teacher. Physics with her had been bitchin’. Bonnie draws out their constellation and Mrs. Galloway writes down what they got.

Of course. They get Gemini.

💔🔫

A pretty little blonde thing opens the door when Klaus knocks. A frown mars her face.

“Who are you?” she questions, almost rudely. Niklaus is charmed.

Damon appears behind her, pulling a thin, black v-neck sweater over his damp hair. At least he seemed to be ditching his infernal jackets, Klaus muses as the younger vampire grips the girl's chin and makes her face him.

“Caroline, this is my friend, Klaus. Klaus, this is our host, Caroline. She was just about to invite you in,” he compels her.

“Please come in, Klaus,” Caroline says in that dreamy way compelled humans speak. Stepping inside, Klaus smiles at her and presses a kiss to the back of her hand.

“Please call me Nik,” he insists and gets taken in by her immediate flush. She'd be so lovely to paint. Damon rolls his eyes.

“The Bennett Matron said no, but she has a granddaughter on the cusp of an Awakening and a ward who also appears to be a witch. If she won't do it, I'm sure they can be persuaded,” Damon informs him, crossing his arms and leaning back against a wall. His eyes dart at Caroline, indicating to Klaus what he means by “persuaded”.

Klaus nods, then turns to Caroline, compelling her to forget anything she might hear them say and not to mention them to anyone at all. He tells her to occupy herself and she leaves them be.

Damon is staring at him.

“What?” Klaus asks.

“She'll probably die,” Damon states bluntly. “It's very likely I'll kill her at the end of all this.”

Klaus scowls at his friend. “I was just being friendly, since you seem to be your usual charming self.”

Damon shrugs. “She's a dead girl walking - what's the point in being pleasant? It's not like she'll remember.”

The Original is over the discussion and waves a hand, telling Damon to move on. The antebellum vampire reports everything, from his findings, to his confirmations, to his tentative plans, which they work through together. Klaus’ phone beeps and he answers without looking. Very few people have his number.

It's Elijah, informing him that Katherine has made contact about a Petrova doppelganger. The excitement in Damon’s face is immeasurable. Klaus soon ends the call and looks over his old friend and follower. He clasps his shoulder.

“Lay low and wait for my signal. Don't give away your presence,” he hands a stone beaded bracelet to Damon, who slips it in without question. “Let the witches think you left and wait for my signals. Soon, your hunt will be over.”

Damon nods, striking blue eyes practically glowing. He closes them off and sighs. “Just a few more weeks,” he mutters. “And it will all be over.”

Klaus heart breaks a little for Damon. But Damon Salvatore the man died over a century ago. In his place is little more than a vengeance seeking wraith. Death would better when it all ends.

💀🔫

It must be a year of bad luck, Bonnie muses. Maybe the town's chakras are misaligned. Maybe she should ask Grams and Kai, if they decide her worthy of any honesty.

She sighs, comforting Matt. She knows she's being harsh, but things are just so fucked up lately and she doesn't understand how two - maybe three, if her father knows - of the people she cared about more than anything else could lie to her face like that for so long. Maybe Kai, but it was unlike him. He preferred to hurt her with the truth than with lies. And he wasn't the type to use lies to protect anyone. He didn't care.

So that left her grandmother.

Bonnie almost wishes she didn't know shit. Ever since the night she learned about vampires, and witches, and werewolves (oh my!), shit in Mystic Falls had gotten so odd over the last few weeks and it seemed to center around her. First, Elena's parents. Then Tyler ends up hitting and killing a drunk and high Vicki Donovan when she wandered out of nowhere to end up in front of his speeding car. Matt is having a hard time looking at his best friend whom he both blames and doesn't blame for his sister’s death. Tyler's made himself scarce, wrestling with his grief and guilt in his own way.

On top of that Caroline has been acting weirder than usual, like all of this bad shit is just a pesky manicure that needs to be fixed and not, like, actual life and death.

And now, sitting in the police station holding a sobbing Matt, she overhears Sheriff Forbes talking to a distraught Jenna Sommers.

Elena’s been missing for 24 hours. No trace of her anywhere. Her phone, her car, and her keys left behind. Kidnapping is suspected.

Bonnie wants to rage. Apparently she has all this power, but she's never felt so helpless. Her people are falling apart and missing and lying to her and all she wants is to find a familiar place to feel safe. She thinks about calling Grams. Instead, she calls Kai.

💀🔫

Nervously, Katherine twists the napkin in her hand until it shreds. Her water, which she ordered for show, sweats for her in anticipation. She really can't stand Klaus. Waiting to bargain her freedom from him in a small booth isn't at all on her list of things she likes to do. But a small public diner is better than being alone with him.

A man slides into the booth seat opposite her.

“About time,” she mutters, looking up. Klaus smiles.

“I would apologize for keeping a lady waiting, but alas,” he indicates her. Katherine smiles tightly.

“Ha. Ha. I take it you found my information sufficient, then?”

“Indeed,” Klaus nods. “My people have apprehended the girl. Consider your debt to me paid.”

Debt, Katherine mentally scoffs. Choosing to live over letting herself be sacrificed for some stupid curse she had nothing to do with had put her in the Original’s debt. Only a Mikaelson.

“So if I leave, you won't pursue me? No revenge chase, no take backs, nothing? Our business is done?” the vampire doppelganger checks.

“Like I said, Miss Pierce - your score with me is settled.” His eyes flick over her shoulder. “With me, that is.”

A cool body flops down next to her. Katherine has time to take in black hair and clothes, pale skin, and flashing blue eyes before a butter knife is rammed through her wrist and into the table below. She cries out loudly, but no one turns.

A trap. Fuck, she should've known better.

“Hey, Kat,” Damon drawls. “Long time no see.” He slams her head into the table several times and the last thing Katherine sees before her world goes black is cold blue eyes shifting to a warm hazel. She almost calls his name, but then she remembers.

Stefan’s dead.

💔🔫

Bonnie can't stand her grandmother's foster son. Grams had gone out of her way to give Kai a nice birthday - taking them both to the amusement park in Whitmore, buying him a delicious mint chocolate chip ice cream cake - Kai's favorite, and gifting him with a plane ticket to Portland to visit family members who should've been taking care of him instead of Grams.

But he was ungrateful, and Bonnie can't stand him. He was turning unlucky thirteen, finally taller than her and about as sullen as can be.

His birthday is mid-April and it's warm as hell. Bonnie is sweltering in the eat, so she swallows down as much of the creamy Baskin Robbins cake as she can. Kai only picks at his. They're waiting for Kai’s case worker, and Bonnie has a mouthful ready to report about her “uncle's” living conditions. He's been extra snappish lately, escalating their usual bickering to all out brawls. He bruised her ribs, but she sprained his wrist - the same one he wore a cast on when he arrived almost five years ago. She'll lie through her teeth if it meant him finally being out of her life.

Kai's case worker finally arrives and she joins the for ice cream cake and pleasantries. She even brought a gift for Kai, a small collection of graphic novels that he must have told her he liked to read. Bonnie is itching for their interview. Anything, anything, if it meant he'll be gone and taking this uncomfortable feeling he elicits in her chest with him.

Her plan fails. His case worker is looking at her pityingly by the time Bonnie finishes her rant.

“Honey,” the case worker says softly. “He can't go home to Portland. His family want him as far away from his father as possible and the one they trust with him is your grandmother. He’s not going anywhere.”

Bonnie snaps. “But I hate him! He's weird and quiet and mean, and he creeps me out! Why can't one of his family members move here? Why does he have to take mine?”

The case worker softens. “Bonnie,” she soothes. “He's not taking away from your family, he's adding to it. Give him a chance, I'm sure you'll find that you enjoy his company more than you despise it.”

The Bennett girl is stubborn. She may have no choice but to accept Kai in her life, but she refuses to enjoy his presence. The next day she looks up abusive fathers in Portland in 1999. She finds a short newsclip about a man named Joshua Parker who killed his wife and two of his three children. None of the children's names are released so as not to reveal the survivor's identity, who was first in protective services, than the foster care system. The child's records were sealed.

Bonnie eases up on Kai. He's still a freak, but at least she has a better grasp on why. She'll let him stay. It's not like she has to like it.

💀🔫

Kai had picked her up from the station, drove Matt home, held her through her break down, then guided her to his room at Grams’ place. The older Bennett woman is out with the search party. The Sheriff had issued a curfew for everyone 17 and under to be home by 7 p.m., so Bonnie's sitting in Kai's room so that neither teen is alone.

He turns on his TV, leaves it on Chopped Jr, then goes downstairs to make dinner. Bonnie's hands shake. She feels cold, even bundled up in her warm PJ's under Kai's down comforter.

His room is cozy and masculine, shades of navy and light blues and soft greys and creams everywhere. Framed comic posters are lined up sharply on one wall, between two neat but overfilled bookshelves. His bed is in the corner opposite his nerd wall and his desk, the second largest furnishing in the room, is by the bed’s headboard, lined under his window. There's a clean desktop computer and game system set-up on it. The TV is on the dresser between his closet door and the entrance, which are both on the wall facing across the windowed wall. There's textured fabric everywhere, down comforters, knit pillows, microplush throws, a rough carpet rug on the wood flooring - it makes the room cozy.  She's never really been in here before. It was an unspoken rule between them that bedrooms were off limits. His room is kind of like a nautical watercolor, themed and clean. Bonnie smiles to herself as she realizes just how domestic Kai is.

Think of the devil - her foster uncle opens the door. He has two bowls of mac’n’cheese casserole and he hands her one before sitting at the desk and wolfing his own down. He says nothing, watching the TV as though having a red-eyed Bonnie Bennett in his room were a regular occurrence and not weird at all. Bonnie picks at her bowl - it's good, Kai's a pretty decent chef - before she sets it on the desk next to him.

Her adoptive uncle looks at her from his periphery. It's a creepy little habit he's adopted, watching her while pretending he's not watching her while she pretends to not notice. Bonnie's done with pretending.

“Kai-,” she starts.

“Not hungry?”  he interrupts. “I'll go wrap it for you.”

Bonnie purses her lips, but remains silent when he grabs their bowls and disappears again. She can hear downstairs, but then it's quiet. She lowers the volume on the TV and waits. Almost three minutes pass. Nothing from downstairs. Bonnie glowers.

Did he leave?

She gets up and throws open the door only to find Kai leaning against the frame. She starts, clutching her chest. Watches him peer up through his lashes at her.

Something in her belly flutters and her pulse speeds. Kai's hot. Distantly, she was always aware of this, but it's disconcerting to push away her feelings towards him - the vast majority of them negative - to acknowledge odd truths like that.

“You leaving?” he asks her. His voice is soft in the hush surrounding them. Bonnie shakes her head.

“I thought you left. I was going to look for you,” she answers just as quietly. Kai smiles sardonically. Holds up his clocked wrist.

“It's eight-thirty,” he replies. Right, she thinks. The curfew. Kai straightens up and walks into the room. Too close to her personal space and she steps back at an angle. He follows. Bonnie stops when her knees brush the bed. Kai stops when his chest brushes hers. He reaches out and Bonnie closes her eyes.

“I'll scream,” she whispers. Kai’s hands cup her face. They're warm and large and a port in the recent crazy. She's fes safe, with Kai of all people.

“As loud as you can,” he agrees. His thumbs rub at her erratic pulse. Bonnie's breaths come in ragged and a heavy, loud in the air.

“I'll hurt you,” she mutters, finally looking at him. His eyes are dark and focused. Whatever he sees on her face must encourage him because he brings them closer. His lips brush hers, teasing when he whispers back.

“I'll like it.”

💔🔫

Jason had buried his sister-in-law, his niece, and one nephew two days after he sent the other nephew to Virginia for safety. Kai's visiting for his thirteenth birthday and the Supreme had wanted to see the coven members he failed before picking up the one he won't from the airport.

Three pristine headstones look up at him, the two smaller ones with dates that break his heart. 1993-1999. 1991-1999.

Joey hadn't even made it to six yet, dying a few months short of that birthday. Josette barely made it to eight. And the boy who shared her birthday? Jason can only hope he has many birthdays to come.

Sheila's calls had alarmed him. Kai was acting up, skipping therapy, flushing his meds, contemplating suicide. He was fighting and being bullied, one of the perpetrators being Sheila's granddaughter no less, although Kai never ratted her out. Sheila intervened when she could, forced them to spend time together, but fixing that relationship was between the kids.

Kai had a particular fascination with death and death mythology lately. It might have been a phase of it might be serious suicidal ideation. Either way, Jason and Sheila split the cost of a roundtrip ticket for Kai, so that the Supreme could spend time with his favorite nephew.

Jason picks Kai up and they go shopping first, because none of the clothes Kai has really suits his personality. Then they hit up Voodoo Doughnut and a Trail Blazers game and Jason relaxes when he feels the gloom and doom in Kai’s aura lift.

“What about girls?” he asks when Kai finishes telling him about what he likes about Mystic Falls. His nephew’s face falls.

“Or boys!” Jason rushes to assure him. He didn't think Kai was gay, but it's better not to assume anything. “Or whomever you like! I don't care! I mean, I care, but you know in support, not because I think anything's wrong with you or-,” he's rambling, but it's okay. Kai's having an uproarious laugh at his expense.

“I like a girl,” Kai says, still chuckling. His face falls. “She doesn't like me though. Pretty sure she hates me, actually.”

Jason looks over Kai, feels out his aura. It clicks.

“Oh damn, kiddo,” he says. Kai grimaces. “Is that why you never try to get Bonnie in trouble?”

Kai frowns. “No, it's because I'm not a snitch.”

Jason stares. Kai shrugs. “At least when she hates me, I'm on her mind. And she's weirdly possessive about me. It's better than her not caring.”

That….that is fucked up. Love isn't supposed to be like that, let alone someone's first love. Jason says as much. Kai shrugs again.

“I have her,” he says. “It's better than being Tyler Lockwood, who does everything she says in hopes she'll finally do something about his boner only to be disappointed every time she doesn't even notice. I'm in her and she hates it, but I'm there. It's better than every other guy who likes her, but doesn't even ping on her radar. At least she sees me and thinks about me.”

Kai shoves another doughnut in his mouth and Jason sighs, letting the subject drop. It'll either change for the better or get worse until it dies. He just hopes it doesn't leave either child too scarred.

💀🔫

Bonnie's mouth is painful on his and their embrace goes from warm to hot, and she's wet under him, then wet surrounding him. He has to slow down, first for safety (That safe driving slogan, “better safe than sorry” plays in his head when he slides a condom on.), then for consideration, because he hadn't realized popular, beautiful Bonnie Bennett had made it to her junior year of high school without letting anyone have her like this. She clings to him and his kisses soften from bruising to comforting when her tears come. He’s not small, and he never wished he was, but maybe she wouldn't be in so much pain if he had been. He rubs her back and holds her and when she wraps her legs around his waist and encourages him, he feels like he's finally come home.

It's good. Not great, but Kai's nervous and Bonnie's never done it before. He makes sure she cums. Touches her and licks her until she screams, just like she told him she would. Just like he encouraged her to. When they finish, he discards the bloodied condom and offers to run her bath. She shakes her head and holds him instead. Kai traces shapes on her back and closes his eyes.

“What's going to happen?” she says into the dark.

“We'll be safe,” he replies. She shifts, sitting up. Naked flesh moves on naked flesh and Kai's cock stirs awake again.

“How do you know?” Her green eyes glow in the dark like a cat's and he strokes down her dark curls. The sight of her like this makes him ache. Kai’s hated and loved Bonnie in equal measure for most of his life. He has no idea if this is her using him for comfort or her finally giving in to their weird chemistry now that she fears she might lose the people she loves.

He almost doesn't want to know. He certainly doesn't want to think about it.

So he tells her about his coven in Portland instead.

💀🔫

When Elena comes to, she has no idea where she is or how she got there. The house is unfamiliar, but nicely furnished and clean, if not obviously abandoned. Her head throbs and she assumes that's the reason for absent memories. Slowly, the brunette sits up and looks around. She tells herself to stay calm even as horror stories about human sex trafficking and slave trades come to mind. Checking her limbs and body over, Elena is surprised to learn that she's relatively uninjured and unchained.

Another girl with dark hair is slumped over in the corner. She’s looks like a similar height and build to Elena, reinforcing the girl's thoughts of human trafficking. Even her hair shade is very close Elena's own chestnut locks, the only difference being that the girl’s is curly. Unlike Elena, she is chained up. Maybe she fought. If Elena can help her get out of her chains, maybe they can work together to get free.

Looking around, Elena quietly makes her way across the room to the other girl. She's a few feet away when a voice rings out.

“Ah, ah, ah! I wouldn't do that if I were you.”

Elena starts, whirling around. A tall, dark-haired man with piercing blue eyes is sitting on a chair Elena is one hundred and ten percent sure was empty, just seconds ago. He looks comfortable like, he's been there for a while.

He cocks a brow at her. “She bites,” he informs her nodding at the form behind her.

“Fuck you, Damon,” a woman's voice replies behind Elena.

It sends a shiver through her body. It's eerily similar to her own and Elena recalls the obvious similarities she noted earlier. She whirls around and is nearly floored.

The woman behind her...looks exactly like her. Doe-eyes meet doe-eyes, one set surprised and the other mocking. It's like looking at a mirror. Or an identical twin. Except Elena didn't have a twin.

The woman mirrors Elena’s dumbstruck face. “Oh, poor girl. Not only are you not as pretty as me, you're dumb and mute too.”

Elena shakes her head and steps back, looking between the two dark-haired strangers.

“What the hell is going on?” she demands. The face-stealer grimaces.

“Not so loud,” she rebukes. “And you're a human sacrifice. Welcome to the not so glamorous life of a Petrova doppelganger. My advice is to go vampire and not look back.”

“Because that worked out so well for you, right, Kitty Kat?” At he man speaks up and stands. He moves to where Elena is and grips her elbow. She tries to pull away, but he seems unmoved, merely tightening his grip and staring at her unnervingly. His grip becomes blistering painful and Elena cries out, falling to her knees as she tries to get away. She hears the chains rattle behind her.

“She's not me, asshole. I'm right here. If you want your revenge so bad, meet your maker like a man and stop picking on little girls.”

Damon lets Elena go, turning his icy gaze to her... doppelganger?

“Hush, Kitty Kat. No need to act like a jealous old crone,” he sneers. Katherine smirks.

“No need to act like a jilted lover. So what Stefan chose me over you? Your brother was a man grown, not your child or your wife. You already had one of each, but apparently they didn't occupy you like they should've.”

Damon's face grows hard, dark veins filtering onto his face. The chains rattle again as Kat stands.

“You should act like your doppelganger, Katherine, and keep your mouth shut.” He smiles and it's not friendly. “You'll both be dead soon anyway.”

With that, there's a rush of air, and he's gone. The doppelgangers stare at each other. Katherine tugs at the chains but they merely creak in protest. Steam rises from where they press her skin and the woman hisses.

“I don't suppose you can grab me stiff drink, can you?” she asks Elena. Elena just stares and with a shrug, looks for a kitchen.

💀🔫

“Oh my god, I'm a South Park Canadian,” Bonnie says, pulling her sweatshirt back on.

“What?” Kai questions, amused. Bonnie shrugs.

“I'm an uncle fucker,” Bonnie smirks at him. Kai lets out a shocked chuckle.

“What?! I'm not your uncle,” he laughs. He's beautiful, but she is stupidly, stupidly disgusted with herself. Why, she's not sure yet. She strokes his hair and kisses his cheek.

“I don't know...my grandmother adopted you. For all intents and purposes, you're my mom’s white little brother.”

Kai laughs again, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her between his legs where he's sitting on the edge of his bed. He smiles up at her.

“I'm fostered, not adopted,” he corrects. “Therefore, not your white uncle or anything. No incest here, Bonster.”

She starts at the nickname. He used to call her that when he would catch her crying over her dad choosing to work on holidays than spend time with her. He rarely calls her that, and it's always said in soft tones of comfort, never used in moments when she's dead certain he probably wants to kill her.

“Well damn,” she teases. “There goes that forbidden factor.” Kai laughs again, then pulls her back on the bed, spinning so that he's on top of her. His hands nestle beneath her shirt, playing with her belly button.

He kisses up the column of her neck. “Still very forbidden, lover.” He nibbled at her ear. “Sheila would probably kill me for defiling you.”

Bonnie snorts, but it's like Kai's words were a summoning. The front door slams open and Grams is shouting her name. Both Bonnie's and Kai's eyes widen comically and Kai practically launches himself into his desk chair and grapples for the remote to turn the TV on. They both hear Grams start up the stairs and Bonnie wraps herself up in one of Kai’s many blankets and pretends to be immersed in Tony Stark’s misadventures.

Kai's door bangs open and both teens sit up with a jump, not even faking their startle. Sheila’s hands go to her hips.

“You two deaf?” she demands. “And since when are you hanging out in each other's rooms? With the door closed?”

Kai stares at her, convincingly innocent. If Bonnie didn't know better, she'd believe his next words. “We're just watching a movie. Waiting to hear news.”

Sheila snorts. “Mhmmm. And I'm Barbra Streisand. Both of you get your tails downstairs. There's much to discuss.”

Grams turns sharply down the hall and Bonnie and Kai glance at each other before following.

In the kitchen, Grams is heating herself up some of Kai's casserole. Her back is tense and Bonnie can see the weariness that lines her body. A bad feeling settles in the girl's bowels.

“Grams?” She ventures. “What's going on?”

Sheila sighs and turns around. “You eat already?” she asks them. Kai nods and Bonnie shrugs, and Grams nods like this was about what she expected.

“Sit down,” she commands. When they're seated, she crosses her arm and states matter-of-factly. “We've found that along with Elena, Tyler Lockwood and Caroline Forbes are also missing. Since all of the appear to be friends, at first it's suspected they've run away together. But there was blood found in Tyler's house that matched his DNA, indicating a struggle. Caroline went missing on her way home from the mall in Talon Falls. Her car was found in the parking lot.”

She keeps talking, but her voice is drowned out by a loud ringing in her ears. Her breaths come in gasps. Her friends are missing. Her friends are missing. Her friends are missing. The room is too light, then too dark and Bonnie feels clammy and cold. She grips the table in front of her. A sharp slap to her face snaps her out of it.

Bonnie rubs her cheek as Grams lowers her hand.

“You okay, sugar pie? I wasn't trying to alarm you but I needed you to know the truth. Have you noticed anything strange going on lately?” Grams asks her.

Bonnie shakes her head. “No,” she states, her voice cracking. Her face crumples into tears.

This is too much. First, the uncovering of the supernatural, now her friends dying or disappearing left and right. She's never felt so powerless. The afterglow from her time with Kai fades. The self-disgust from earlier settles. She was letting Kai fuck her while her friends were going missing. How could she be so selfish like that, seeking out happiness from a guy she didn't even know how she felt about when her friends’ futures became uncertain? Her distress overwhelms her and she feels hot, like fire was boiling in her veins.

Strong arms wrap around her. “You need to calm down, Bonnie,” Kai's voice rumbles by her ear. “It's not your fault, okay? I understand, but you need to calm down before you burn the house down.”

His words don't make sense, but when Bonnie looks up with teary eyes, she sees her grandmother frantically waving her arms over flames that keep popping up.

“Hold it together, Bonnie!” she calls out.

Kai grabs her face and soothes down her hair. “I'm going to have to siphon you if you don't calm down, Bonster. Deep breaths okay? Don't let your emotions overwhelm you.”

Listening to his words, Bonnie let's herself be calmed. The flames die down. The young witch looks around the charred kitchen.

“I did that?” she whispers. Kai smiles softly and nods.

“Happy Awakening, Bonnie. Let's figure out how to save your friends.”

💀🔫

Greta arranges the casting circle in the field and spells the occupants asleep. Damon dumps Katherine - the vampire, the Lockwood boy - the werewolf, and Elena - the doppelganger in the cages where Greta indicates they should go.

“Bennett blood needs to be spilled from the eastern end, where the comet will enter the Gemini constellation,” she informs Damon. When he looks at her blankly, she sighs and a flaming ‘X’ chars the ground several feet from them.

“Over there,” she tells him. Damon grins and salutes, then takes a moment to look around. The three main ingredients for the “sun and moon curse”, all trussed up and ready to die. How beautiful.

He can hear Caroline crying as Klaus gently guides her back to the field. Damon frowns at that. It's weird, Klaus’s sudden fixation with baby Barbie, but to each his own. Damon doesn't know and doesn't want to know what the hell is up with that.

Movement catches his eye and Damon turns to look. The human doppelganger is stirring. She's been eerily calm about this whole ordeal, taking to the supernatural like a duck to water. It’s nothing at all like Katherine, reminding Damon of his brother's calm disposition and his widowed wife's faithful practicality. Her dark eyes meet his light ones. Warm earth to winter sky.

They study each other in silence, before she breaks it.

“Do you think this will make you happy?” Elena inquires. Damon shrugs.

“It doesn't have to. It just has to be over. I get revenge on Katherine by handing her over to die in away she never wanted to. Klaus gets to break his curse. Klaus compels me to forget and I get to rest.”

“To die.”

“Indeed,” Damon shrugs. “I wanted revenge and now it's here. What more after that? I never wanted to be a vampire.”

Elena’s somber face twists him with guilt and he glares at her.

“Maybe you should learn to live again,” she said. “Save yourself like you saved me that night on Wickery Bridge.”

Damon huffs a laugh. “You know I caused that accident, right? I didn't save you out of guilt or some hero complex. I did it because letting you die then would be an inconvenience.”

Elena's conviction seems to falter, but then Damon watches her literally arm herself with determination.

“You're not a bad person,” she insists. “And you can't convince me otherwise. I know what it looks like when grief kills who you are inside. To feel like the walking dead.”

Damon turns his back to her and closes his, but he's a vampire. He has super hearing.

“And I know that grief can be overcome. Maybe not now or tomorrow, but someday, you'll feel alive again and you can only do that if you keep trying.”

Damon opens his eyes. “What do you know?” he jeers lightly. “You're dying young.”

💀🔫

Shortly after her meltdown, Bonnie's phone rings and she hears Caroline's desperate voice pleading in her ear.

“Don't come Bonnie okay, they have Tyler and Elena and they want you to do something weird, please Bonnie don't come, they're gonna kill us, just call my mom.”

The phone gets taken away but she hears Caroline scream something about the woods and Bonnie writes that down for Grams to see. Kai grabs her hand when another voice, make and British, fills her ear.

“Nonsense, love. Caroline will live so long as you're willing to play your part, miss Bennett. All you need to do is prick your finger and recite some Latin. Very easy.”

“Who is this?” Bonnie asks. “You don't sound like that other guy.”

The man chuckles. “My apologies, darling. My name is Niklaus Mikaelson. That other guy was my associate Damon. He can be a little hard to like, I will admit. But he was only acting on my behalf. I need a Bennett witch for a favor, and I promise you handsome compensation.”

“Like my friends back home safe?”

“As many as possible, darling,” he replies. “But none at all if you or grandmother refuse compliance.”

Kai gets up and grabs his phone. He's texting someone furiously, listening as closely as he can to their conversation. He nods at Bonnie, backed by her Grams’ nod. Bonnie takes a breath.

“Okay,” she tells him. “I'll be there. You're in the woods?”

Klaus hums his agreement. “In a lovely little meadow near the falls. I'm sure you're aware.”

At Bonnie's quiet “yeah” he continues. “And I'm sure there's no need to tell you what will happen to any interlopers you bring along.”

He ends the call and Bonnie looks between the more experienced witches in her family.

“Who’s Niklaus Mikaelson?” she asks them.

Grams is eyeing the liquor cabinet. “Bad news,” she replies. “A very old vampire, one of the first.”

“An Original,” Kai said. He sounds excited. “I texted my uncle and asked him what an Original would need a doppelganger and a Bennett witch. He wants to break the hybrid curse!”

Both women look at him, unable to comprehend his excitement, or in Bonnie's case, what the hell he was even talking about. He smiles.

“It's enough for a powerful coven to run intervention. Like say, the Gemini Coven.”

“Let my coven stop the beasts. We're going to save your friends.”

💀🔫

The Original looks up when the Bennett girl and her grandmother step into the clearing. Damon comes to stand beside him and looks over the women.

“No Prince Charming tonight?” he presses.

“Your friend said no interlopers,” the younger one speaks up, glaring at Damon. He glares back.

“And you didn't even consider being non-compliant? Not to save your best friends?” The raven-haired vampire demands. This time the older Bennett woman smiles.

“Have you considered that we don't need them?”

Damon’s hackles, which had been raised all night, appear to settle.

“Touché,” he concedes and steps back.

Niklaus smirks at the exchange, amused. He nods to the Bennett witches.

“Ladies,” he greets. “This way if you will.”

Bonnie glares at him, but follows to where he leads them. It is Sheila who takes the spellbook from him, reading over the incantation. She looks at him sharply.

“You do know what you're asking, don't you?” she queries.

“Of course,” Klaus replies. “And I understand the risk you're undertaking. I promise to reward you well.”

Sheila scoffs, shaking her head but she turns to Bonnie and guides her through the beginnings of the incantation. Klaus watches them, puzzled, but goes to take his place where Damon is holding the human doppelganger.

“This is too easy,” Damon voices his thoughts. Klaus nods, agreeing. But magic is heavy in the air and it's affecting him like it should, do he decides to accept this lucky streak for the time being.

“We will watch,” he tells Damon. “And should they betray us, we will extract the price in their blood.”

Damon nods, still appearing tense and Elena stares after him pleadingly as he passes her along to Klaus.

“Please, don't do this,” she pleads, but Damon is stone tonight. His attention is focused on the older doppelganger.

He's barely focused on the younger one when he replies, “I have to.”

Klaus grins down reassuringly to Elena. “It's just a little bite, Elena. You’ll barely feel it.”

The magic is rough inside his body. The Bennett's reach the first crescendo and there's a cry from where Damon rips out Katherine’s heart. There had been a brief exchange between them, but Klaus was too preoccupied to take notice of the context.

The next crescendo comes and Greta raises her knife to sacrifice the world not. As it descends, Klaus's eyes close and he leans forward fangs extended for the last influx of magic. He can feel the chains on his inner beast being shredded and the world narrows to Elena's neck and the magic filtering his blood. The final crescendo hits and he bites into the doppelganger, who tries to flinch away.

But his body is breaking apart and coming back together all at once, so he doesn't notice Damon’s warning cry. Not until an ash-covered dagger is jammed in his back. Damon is rushing towards him, but as Klaus falls, he sees the other vampire fall to his knees, a magic whip putting bloody stripes down his back.

Klaus looks up to see Caroline, eyes teary as she grips Elena and pulls her away from him. Clutching her bloody neck, the brunette stumbles after her tall friend to the edge of the clearing. The desiccation takes hold and the last thing Klaus sees is a coven of witches apparating into the clear, glowing green Gemini mark overtaking the clearing.

No Prince Charming tonight? Damon had asked.

Therein lies their answer.

💔🔫

Joshua stares up at his little brother’s projection, the little crown stealer. The Supreme fiddles with his belt then sighs, stepping back to reveal the Ascendant. Hate surges through Joshua Parker

“This is Kai’s,” Jason informs him. “I modified the spell. Your little abomination will hold your life in his hands. This Ascendent will tie you to him, and when he chooses, your life will be sacrificed to fulfill whatever function he sees fit and not one moment sooner. This is your punishment.”

Jason’s projection begins to fade.

“Blessed be, big brother.”

💀🔫

Two weeks later:

Elena watches the weird new dynamic between Bonnie and Kai, before the witch (and that's weird as well, to think of her best friend in those terms) breaks away from his embrace to come sit with them. Caroline is still withdrawn. Her memories from her own kidnapping had returned slowly over the past two weeks. At first Damon had merely used her as a means of food and shelter, virtually ignoring her until he needed a human touch. With Klaus, her treatment had been upgraded, but it meant posing for hours on end for paintings. In their private moments, Caroline had said she can't really explain why the interactions with the Original left her so shaken, only that his attention both frightened and aroused her.

Oddly enough, both Elena and Bonnie could relate.

That night, Kai had murdered the witch working for Klaus and sacrificed his father to protect the Bennett's from the blowback of the spell. Elena didn't exactly understand it all, but she knows it meant a lot to Bonnie. Some tide had shifted between Elena's friend and her grandmother’s ward.

They have lunch. Elena's neck is still healing, but it no longer hurts to swallow or talk, which means she's ready for that spicy avocado ranch chicken wrap from the Grill. Which she's having now, because oh god, yeah. Caroline picks at her food, but she eats more than she has been. She's taking the supernatural reveal hardest, wanting nothing more than to go back to her normal life. But she can't forget and it's left her shaken to know how easily creatures that go bump in the night were willing and able to throw away her life.

She ends up leaving first, being picked up by her mom. Bonnie follows soon after, some kind of magical training she and Kai have to do now that Bonnie's magic is awakened. Elena waves after them, intending to enjoy a second wrap without judgement. It arrives quickly and as Elena takes the first huge bite she looks up to see blue eyes watching her with mild disgust.

She has to laugh at his expression.

“You came,” she greets. Damon nods, sitting opposite her.

“I did,” he said. “You don't think your little friends might see this as a betrayal? I'm pretty sure Blondie would be willing stab me like she did my oldest friend.”

Elena smiles. “Of course she would. You made her feel unsafe.”

Damon leans forward, bracing his cheek on his hand. He's almost devastatingly handsome.

“I'm not sorry,” he declares. Challenges. Elena meets it.

“Neither are we.” She takes a bite of her wrap. “How's living treating you?”

It doesn't sound right through her mouthful of chicken, but Damon seems to understand, making another face at her manners. He huffs and rolls his eyes.

“You shouldn't have interfered,” he chides. “You should have let the witches kill me.”

“What kind of punishment is that?” Elena teases. “Death isn't redeeming. You can't make things right with anyone from the grave.” She takes another bite. Damon watches her.

“I spent a century waiting to kill a woman who looked just like you,” he informs her. “When she died, she thanked me for giving back her heart right before I ripped it out of her chest.”

Elena stares at him and swallows her food. A lump stays in her throat. “Are you going to kill me too?”

He smiles. “Now, now. What kind of punishment is that?” He leans back.

“I think I'll stick around. Hang out with x-greats-grandson Zach. Uncle Zach?” he muses. “He looks older than me: I was only 25 when I turned. Uncle Zach.”

Elena smiles. “Well in that case: Welcome to Mystic Falls, Mr. Salvatore.” She holds out her hand. “I'm Elena.”

“Damon,” he replies after a brief hesitation, shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

They share a smile. Neither really notices when he doesn't let her hand go.

💀🔫

Kai wakes with start when someone small and cold slips into his bed. He grumbles, but shifts so that Bonnie can make herself comfortable.

“Shut up, freak,” she mumbles and pulls his arm around her. Kai presses a kiss to her head. She's quiet, stilling long enough for Kai to start to drift off.

“Do you regret it?” she asks. Kai grunts, not opening his eyes.

“Killing your dad? Killing that witch?”

Kai shakes his head, burying his nose in her hair.

“Them or you, Bonnie. I pick you any day.”

“Even though I was awful to you for so long? Even though you hated me?”

Kai sighs. “I never really hated you. Hush before Sheila pops in to yell at us.”

She back-elbows him gently. “I mean it.”

“Me too,” he grunts. “It doesn't matter, Bonnie. I'd still pick you, any day. Over anyone. Even Grams. Even my uncle.”

Bonnie's quiet. “Why?” she chokes. He pulls her closer.

“You know why.”

With a sigh, she settles to sleep. “I never really hated you either,” she whispers. Kai hums, relaxing.

After a moment Bonnie sits up straight, wide-eyed and distraught.

“Oh shit,” she wheezes, scrambling out if the bed. Kai sits up slowly, somewhat cranky now.

“What now?” he croaks. Bonnie glares at him, then snaps:

“Our first constellation report is due in astronomy tomorrow!”

💀🔫

A/N for shayspencer: Hello shayspencer! I'm donutworry (fuckitimfangirling on Tumblr), your Secret Santa. Feel free to call me Allie. I hope you enjoyed your fic, it was pretty fun to write. It was a little tough to write, bc I think I tackled each of your topics at least once in other works and I didn't want to produce anything too repetitive. I'm also sorry for any typos, this is unbeta’ed and was written during bouts of free time - I work in healthcare and holiday season is the busiest. When I wrote it, I kind of focused on how Bonnie was the one to pursue the bad blood between them and Kai being the one to always offer the olive branch, even if it was after he hit back. I know the high school AU aspect was pretty loose, but I wanted to focus more on how their lives are supposed to revolve around school and how the supernatural disrupted that. Hopefully, I managed to do so.  Hopefully, the Delena was enjoyable. I did my very best, even though I'm neutral towards most non-Bonnie TVD ships. I know KC and SK where probs not what you wanted, but I think it's important to show how push-pull ships like this don't always work out. I did get pretty into Steferine because of you though, lol. It seemed you would be okay with darker stuff, so I went pretty emo because I wanted to bring you the feels. Did it work? If my sadism here wasn't enough, I've got two other WIPs inspired by your prompts to bring the pain. 😝 Happy holidays, enjoy any breaks you might have and any holiday pay you might make! Happy BK Secret Santa! I'll post this on FFN, Tumblr, and AO3 in 2018 after you've had a chance to enjoy for yourself.

[this-brownie]

05.14.20

I recently read Lolita, written by Vladimir Nabokov and I have a LOT of thoughts on it. I know it’s considered such a classic, but the plot revolves around pedophilia and, therefore, was very confused by all the hype surrounding it. I decided to finally read it so that I could form a valid opinion on it.

It felt like there was no 'point' to the story or that I had somehow missed it. I read the author’s note that said there is no moral to the story and people looking for one are wasting their time. So I tried to do some research on it online to see what others have said- some people talked about how beautifully it's written and what a good job he did since he's a Russian writer and this was one of his first books in English. I thought about that-- his voice/style IS engaging, however I was utterly bored reading about the actual content, if that makes sense. The narrator/pedo would basically talk shit about these other characters for three literal pages and then MOVE ON and never. mention. them. again. I'm like...wtf was the point of that?! A lot of people called the book really funny and I was like uhhhh I didn't laugh NOT ONCE throughout the whole fucking thing. Some people said the book was amazing bc at the core of it, its a """"""loveeeee"""""" story like the fuck kind of love are you people used to?! It's literally about the descpicable narrator who.. TRIGGER WARNING ***lusts over girls ages 9-14, pursues a "relationship" with (I mean assaults) his 12yo stepdaughter, fucking bribes her w money, emotionally manipulates her (by telling her that if she goes to the police she will be taken away and will be alone forever, and wouldn't it just be better to stay with him), and abuses her daily. On top of that he acts like he's her bf and acts jealous when she starts talking to guys her age! Multiple, multiple fucking times the girl says "yeah well you raped me so the least you can do is give me money/give me this/that". She is aware that she's being taken advantage of, and attempts to exert her own agency in the matter, however she can. He sexualizes her like an object and talks about her in cringey ways like he literally says "oh this beautiful 7th grader, oh the lovely girl-child, the 12 year old with the boxy boyish torso" like ew. Why are you so obsessed with prepubescent bodies**** So fucking pathetic. And you know what? People claim that he's just hopelessly in love bc he DOES talk about her in a loving way (yeah whatever creep) but throughout the entire he book he literally ogles other children. How is that fucking love?! Just bc he found the ONE girl who was actually receptive to his disgusting behavior? Lolita is interesting for people who don’t know how to relate to real people, so they read this book about a pedophile and feel cool for “understanding” him. He’s not likable— he’s self deprecating which people enjoy because instead of having to call him disgusting, he does it to himself and it makes readers sympathize with him. They can therefore "relate" to him since we all love a self hating hero. A lot of people say that it shows us the selfish part of us, that we are willing to do whatever we need to in order to pursue what we want. That we are ultimately narcissists. Yeah maybe men feel that fucking entitled (sorry I'm being sexist) . What fucking responsible adult is willing to ruin and manipulate a child just to fulfill his own depraved fantasies? Because he succeeds in acquiring this little girl, are we supposed to applaud him? Call him smart and badass and a go getter?! He's delusional. When men read the book they relate to the narrator. And when women read it, who do you think they relate to? The female character, the girl ofc-- how to be kept in a helpless situation, keep taking abuse, and to be manipulated into staying. 

I may be looking at this book and analyzing it from a very cultural lens but isn't that the point of a classic? That it transcends time, culture, whatever society you're coming from, whatever perspective you have — it’s supposed to be relatable. In the book, the narrator/pedo brings up all the historical relationships of child brides and little girls being sexualized and he's like "it wasn't wrong then" blah blah I'm like motherfucker, have you considered that we have come away from those times for a fucking reason?! When child marriages were legal, and wherever they still are, it’s not because it isn't an absolutely horrible thing. It is just socially acceptable and that's why people dont speak up about it. When people DO try to speak up about it, they are shunned which leads to others holding their silence on it. I mean, slavery was once legal too.

Oh and another sad thing was that so many readers online were saying that yeah he knows he has a problem, but he really does love her, and what about her?! It's not like she's innocent either (bc how dare she have sex once before, as an experiment)— so basically that makes this 12yo equivalent to this 45 fucking year old manipulative, delusional, pathetic abuser. I think Nabokov also purposely portrayed the girl as extra bratty and insolent bc he didn’t want his readers to see her as innocent or child like in anyway. By making her unlikable, readers begin to sympathize even more for the pedo. People are fucking wild yo, to what extent they are willing to forgive grown ass men and blame little girls. Side note, it's not that I particularly care for the girl character, but I could see through how she was being manipulated and how badly she was trying to escape (she finally does thankfully). My opinion is that if this were a real love story, people would not have given it a second look-- fuck what they say about Nabokov’s writing, it’s BS. Ultimately, my thoughts on it are that people like the book bc they like the authors writing style OR bc they think they're fucking edgy for liking such a controversial book. They probably feel cool that they have gotten through such a taboo/challenging topic without feeling complete disgust for the book and themselves. Multiple articles online have said “if you don’t like the book/are not open to reading it, it’s bc you’re narrow minded and can’t put yourself in uncomfortable positions” like stfuuuuu. They argue that just bc it’s from a wrong/taboo perspective, it’s not enough of a reason to stop you from reading it. They compared it by saying if a murderer wrote a book, is it not worth reading bc murder is wrong? And I understand the argument but that really diminishes the point. The murderer isn't being romanticized; it is pretty clear they are unstable and that we SHOULD NOT BE LIKE THEM.  A person reading about a book that glorifies murder won’t necessarily go out and commit murder. Similarly, a person reading about sexual abuse/rape/pedophilia won’t go out and commit those things, but unfortunately by calling the book beautiful, and the idea compelling, and blaming the victim, you’ve now normalized the idea a little more. You’ve humanized the abuser and made his actions a little bit more acceptable. And that’s where the problem lies. Should a book like this have NOT been written? I wouldn’t jump to that. But the weird, obsessive fascination over it is definitely concerning. And what could have been done differently, anyway? The narrator is already ‘aware’ of his problem and constantly calls himself disgusting. Nabokov doesn’t regret writing it (and why should he, he’s made a ton of fame and money off of it). Having a disclaimer that says “rape is wrong” would be treated like a fucking joke. It’s really up to society and how they feel about it, which is the same as how society has always felt about girls/women. Nothing good. One other thing I came across is that a lot of young women (who ‘should’ hate the book, according to the article) actually really like it. I find that misguided. I know I am judging so hard here but- I feel that these women are the same ones that say they don’t need feminism and they are stuck on this boring ass yet ubiquitous trope of powerful/older/experienced men courting the innocent, dainty yet (somehow still) seductive girl. Have seen that idea MANY fucking times. Yawn. It might appeal to a high schooler but not people who can have two simultaneous thoughts in their brains. My friend Marisol brought up an interesting and valid point about this; she said that some women may have enjoyed the book because “they have been victims of [sexual abuse] and by glorifying something like that, they might subconsciously be convincing themselves that it wasn't as bad and that they're not actually victims of these horrendous crimes”. Lastly, I WILL give the author one credit (no matter how minor)— he doesn’t word the sex/rape scenes in an erotic way. I’m sure there’s a lot of people curious about reading this book cuz they think they will discover soft porn. They will be left feeling disappointed or unaffected after finishing it, which in a way is annoying as well bc youve glazed through and normalized the horror of it without feeling anything. And what’s the point of writing a book? Isn’t it supposed to make you feel? 

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant.