#when she accepts his proposal he writes a full ass SONG

[romulusfuckingroy]

connor roy the type of mf to write poetry about his love for willa

[herecomesjoon]

ANWESHA! I'm so sorry that I took so long to get to this. The holidays kicked my ass, but I’m here now!

This was such a lovely little fic and captures something soft and quiet about late winter nights. I sometimes like to go outside when its really cold and clear and look up at the stars. It's really comforting and this is what it feels like to me when I read this. 

Read more for full critique as part of the @bangtan-oasiss November 2022 Critique Project <3

I really think that you nailed the intention of showing a lighthearted couple that is comfortably in love. Overall, this was a feel good story, and you set us up as readers to expect something lighthearted. Jin looking at pictures of his girlfriend while on shift? How much more in love can you get?! I really enjoyed how you showed us their comfort and familiarity with each other through playful banter. And wanting to not move from a spot just so you can hold your love, absolutely accurate, and sweet!

I also really like that you showed us a couple that has stepped outside of generally accepted social norms. Not only is it the man pursuing a career that can be so unpredictable, with no promise of something super lucrative, but his partner seems to be in a really stable job in a technical field. And she is super supportive and prepared to be the one to support them both! The touch that she made the cars for the ferris wheel was great! And it shows a lot of trust and thoughtfulness between the two of them that she felt comfortable enough to be the one to propose first. 

Jin’s boss is a gem. I’m almost sad to know that he might not work there now that he’s got an acting gig! Its sweet that both Mr. Hwang and Reader collaborated to make sure that Jin's birthday is celebrated. I was so ready for something angsty, but you turned it around pretty quick. It felt like you couldn’t wait to show us what the surprise was!

I do agree with you that the weakest part of the story is the scene in the car. It's still lovely, but it’s a hard space to fill between two emotional scenes. I feel like the scene could have worked really well as a quiet breather between those two emotional highs of being fooled by Mr. Hwang and going for the ferris wheel ride would have worked really well. Just the two of them singing along softly to their favorite songs or even sitting quietly and holding hands while they travel to the amusement park. 

Another improvement I think that would help a lot, especially with a POV change, is having either a visual break in the story. Like a line indicating that the scene has changed. It would make it easier to adjust to having the story told in the reader's perspective. This would of course be an easy adjustment to make over all. But, if you were to go back and rework this story a bit, maybe you could try to write the first scene from readers perspective.How did she get Jin’s boss on board to not only let him have the night off, but to cover for him personally? Did she suggest the idea that he should pretend to fire him? Or did Mr Hwang suggest it, and she encouraged it? 

Second person is a hard thing to write, especially when you want to capture other people's emotions. You have to remember that the reader only has one perspective at this point. You did a great job overall though, and though it was pushing 60F outside for me today, this story really made me feel like it was properly winter. Warm and cozy, but still that sharp bite of wind that can take your breath away, just like the view of the city from the top of that ferris wheel. 

A Snowfall To Remember

Pairing: Kim Seokjin×reader

Genre: non idol au; established relationship au; fluff

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Height (if anyone has fear of heights), Seokjin is an anxious little bean

Word Count: 4.3k+

Banner: made by me

Posted: 19 Dec 2021

[Summary: Spending his birthday night with you was all Seokjin could want and think about but you have something more in store for him and that doesn't include just spending time together.]

[Author's note: So I initially planned to post this on Seokjin's birthday and I had the audacity to think that I can post it when I started writing this on 4th! Talk about overconfidence. Anyways, I finally finished writing this oneshot! I hope you'll enjoy! Feedbacks are always welcome 💜🌼]

[Author's note #2: This story have been submitted to Bangtan Oasis critique project and is open to receiving any and every critique or feedbacks.]

"The snowfall this year is getting rather late in arriving…" 

That was the first thought that crossed Seokjin's mind after staring outside at the kaleidoscopic crowd through the glass wall of the convenience store he worked at. While absentmindedly counting the moving figures he had forgotten the track of how long he had been staring, so to gather his unmindful and distracted self he shook his head a little and brought back himself to read the book "Learn to act like the IT boy of the century within 10 days" that had been lying in front him on the counter, ignored for an extended length of time, with its second page open like some salesman who had been given a cold shoulder to. 

He didn't really feel like reading and his eyes constantly wandered off to his phone. It was almost 11. 

"An hour more…" He mused and opened your chat to read the last message you sent to him that afternoon once again. 

"Work's gonna be late but not gonna miss being with you tonight! Love you babe!" 

He smiled and started scrolling through the pictures of you two together. His cheek resting on one hand, one hand going through his phone, neck slightly tilted, and a sheepish smile painted on his lips – anyone who knew you both could tell that he was looking at you, and whoever didn't know you would certainly know that he was, in fact, deep in love with the person he was seeing pictures of. 

He had started looking at your pictures because he was missing you but that made him miss you more so he kept the phone and started waiting for customers while, again, carelessly resting his eyes on the book in front of him, that he was certainly not reading.

Day was rather slow today and he couldn't wait to get out of that tiring store and spend the night with you. But that was going to take a few more hours given his shift was going to end at 2 am. "Could the night go anymore slower?" He asked himself with a sigh.

The loud chime from the bell on the door pulled Seokjin out of his lazy wishful thoughts – it was the store owner. 

Seokjin confusedly looked at him and braced himself. The store owner always visited the store at mornings, so him visiting this late at night was a red alarm for sure. Seokjin scrambled at his book and hid it under the counter and bowed at the store owner with the sweetest smile his sweating inner self could gather. 

"Ugh! Why are the aisles so messy!? Were you dosing off because business is slow, huh?" The store owner, Mr. Hwang, started grumbling as soon as he entered and waved dismissively at Seokjin's bow. 

"Ah! I'll clean it up right now! Please have a seat!" Seokjin rushed out from the counter to the front aisle where Mr. Hwang was standing with his hands folded behind his back and looking up and down the aisle. 

"There's no need. I don't need you anymore. You can go!" Mr. Hwang said with his eyebrows knitted together – irritation written all over his face. 

"What?" Seokjin was taken aback. Panicked and confused he looked at the store owner trying to find all the clues that could prove what he was thinking was wrong. 

After saying what he said Mr. Hwang went back again to look at the aisles with his lips curved in an upside down curve. 

Seokjin stood there like a stone cold statue trying to figure out his position. He needed this job. At least until he could achieve his dream. Till then he needed a source to sustain himself. He swiped his sweaty hands on the side of his pants and walking quickly towards the aisle where Mr. Hwang was standing now he called out mildly, "Mr. Hwang!" 

Slightly startled Mr. Hwang turned to look at his side and widening his eyes he said, "You are still here? Didn't I tell you to go?" 

Mustering a conflicted smile Seokjin asked, "You mean go back to the counter, right?" 

"No. I told you to go from the store. I'll be here for the rest of your shift. I am giving you this shift off." 

"B-but why?" Seokjin was still confused. 

Mr. Hwang rubbed his forehead with his fingers and broke out into fits of laughter. 

As if he wasn't confused enough, Seokjin was more now. 

Walking upto Seokjin, Mr. Hwang patted his shoulder and said, "I got you good, huh? Isn't it your birthday in a few minutes? Go, your girlfriend is waiting outside!" 

Seokjin looked at his face as if to know if he was joking or telling the truth. 

"What are you looking at? Go quickly! It's freezing outside! No good man keeps their lady waiting!" Mr. Hwang rushed Seokjin. 

It took him a few seconds to grasp what was happening and when he did Seokjin grinned widely and shouting, "Y-yes! Thank you," he gave a quick bow to the store owner and hastily took off the uniform, wore his coat, grabbed his bag and bolted out of the door. 

You were waiting under a tree that was a few feet away from the store and rubbing your hands to be content in the minimal warmth it produced to your freezing hands.

You looked at your phone screen to see the time – forty minutes to midnight. 

"I hope the store owner isn't giving him a hard time…" You thought and looked at the store. 

At that moment you saw the silhouette of your boyfriend dashing out the store door. You laughed at his reaction and waved at him. 

Noticing you he waved back, stood for a moment and ran back into the store. 

"Huh?" A small query escaped your lips and smiling you leaned on the tree and looked at your feet. You didn't mind waiting for him a few seconds more. 

Hearing loud footsteps you looked up only to be tackled in a tight hug by the sturdy man. He held you so tightly as if you were going to disappear if he let you go. You could feel his heartbeat racing mad against yours. 

Seokjin nuzzled against your hair and whispered, "I was missing you." 

You whispered back, "I was missing you too," and continued to bury your face in his chest. 

A few moments passed like that and as if suddenly remembering something you broke the hug and checked the time. 

"Oh shit! It's 11:30! We have to hurry!" You grabbed Seokjin's hand and pulled him towards the road where your car was parked. 

But he didn't move, instead he held your hand strongly refusing to let go or letting you lead. You looked back, confused. 

He gave you a quick pull and you ended up in his arms again. 

"You have surprised me enough, babe! Other surprises can wait! Just let me hold you for a few more minutes." He said softly while looking into your eyes. 

"Why would you say it like that!!?" Your mind screamed as you felt a familiar tickling sensation in your stomach, lower abdomen, chest, everywhere. 

"Ah.. I.. um…" You found it difficult to form a word, forget about a sentence. 

You gulped hard and stared at him trying to form a reply in your head. 

Seokjin tilted his head and flashing a smile he said, "Cat got your tongue? Should I get it instead?" 

As much as you wanted him to do that you had other plans in mind. So you placed a chaste kiss on his plush lips and replied, "For that we have to go where I wanna take you." 

You pulled his collars closer to each other in a fake attempt to tidy his not so unkempt coat and continued, "And if we are late because of you, the couch might be your accommodation on your birthday night." 

You curved your lips in a sinister smile and extended your hand to grab his. 

"I wouldn't want to risk that." He flashed another of his sweet smiles, "but before that lemme just," he brought out two hot packs from his pocket and after opening he shook them a little and held your hand to put those inside your gloves, "keep you warm!" 

You felt the warmth spread throughout your palms to your system. In that moment you understood why he rushed back into the store and when you realised that you looked at him, trying not to cry and whispered, "Why do you have to be so perfect?" 

He bent down a little to your height and placing a soft kiss on your lips he replied softly, "Because you are." 

The night was getting colder by the minute and though the road was almost empty on your way, you were not one to stay quiet. So as soon as you hit the road both of you started to chat about how your day went and occasionally sang together along with the songs that came on the radio. 

After a short fifteen minutes drive you stopped the car. Seokjin stretched his limbs and rubbed clean a small portion of the foggy window on his side. 

"Amusement park? At this hour? It must be closed." Seokjin looked at you with confusion and worry mixed in his expression. 

"Then I guess the couch is your sleeping partner tonight." You winked at him with a smile and went out after telling him to stay in the car. 

With an uneasy mind Seokjin started to wait for you only to be startled by a mild knock on his already-fogged-again window after hardly a couple minutes. He started to roll down the window slowly but almost instantly stopped and began rolling up the window glass when the someone who was knocking on the window began to pull the car's door open. 

"Open the door, you scaredy cat!" You yelled from outside. 

Seokjin flung open the door as soon as he heard your voice and yelled back, "I was scared shitless! You should have used that voice before scaring the living daylights out of me! I thought you were a serial killer for fuck's sake." 

You held his arm and said, "Alright, alright! I am sorry! I will start calling you by your name when I am within a mile radius of you! Okay? Now let's go! It'll be midnight soon!" You pulled him.

"Where? In this closed amusement park?" Seokjin refused to move an inch. 

"Yes! That's why we are here! Come on! Don't be a baby!" You exclaimed with urgency. 

"Are you taking me there to sacrifice me or something?" Seokjin asked again. 

"Yes! I am!" You pulled a reluctant Seokjin behind you and crossed the main gate. 

Guided by the man who was waiting for you inside the park with a flashlight in his hands all of you reached under the only ferris wheel of the park within a minute with Seokjin glued to your side firmly. 

The man guided you two into a cabin and went away to start the Ferris wheel. 

You sat face to face and as the Ferris wheel began moving Seokjin relaxed his grip on your hand but kept on holding it. 

You rubbed slow small circles on his hand that was holding yours with your thumb. You knew how anxious he could be sometimes and these always helped him relax, even if it's a small amount. 

When the wheel completed a circle you reached under your seat and brought out a big box. 

You unboxed it quickly and brought out the cake and placed the candles forming the number 29 on it. 

Seokjin stared at you with a faint smile on his lips and said with a chuckle, "You know we could have done this in your warm apartment instead of trembling in this cold, right?"

"Oh, shush! Special occasions need special places to be celebrated! And this cabin is warm enough! You are just being dramatic with all this 'trembling in cold'." You pretended to scold him. 

With a pout on his lips he replied, "For me every place is special if I am with you." 

"Aww look at all that extra cheese you got there today!" You exclaimed with a playful smack on his arm. 

"I have more! Wanna see?" He gave you a smirk. 

Amidst your banter you two didn't realise when you had reached the top and once your cabin once again reached the top the Ferris wheel stopped moving causing Seokjin to panic. 

Thinking they would be stuck the whole night in that freezing temperature on such a height for a stupid mechanical fault of the wheel he shouted out aiming at the bottom of the wheel where the control room was, "Hey! Get this thing moving or else you won't be able to move once I get down there!" 

As his voice dissipated halfway in the darkness of the lonely amusement park, you suppressed the incoming laughter and keeping your hand on Seokjin's shoulder you said, "Calm down Mr. Hot head. I gave him instructions earlier to do this." 

He looked at you as if he was asking you with his eyes why would you do that? 

You laughed at his expression and said, "Trust me a little bit, hm? I swear it's going to be worth it!" 

Relaxing his tensed shoulder he leaned forward and kept his forehead on your shoulder and murmured, "I know. You know me, I get tensed over nothing." 

"Hmm." You hummed agreeing in response and kissed the side of his ear. 

Checking the time again in your phone you held Seokjin's shoulders and made him sit straight and smiled, "It's time!" 

You lighted the candles and with low voice you started singing the birthday song with small claps and signalled Seokjin to blow the candles.

Never ceasing to smile Seokjin blew the candles whilst clapping for him himself and cut two small slices from the cake – one for each. 

The cabin had a well-built wide solid steel plate with thin cushion installed on it as a seat that went around inside the cabin so that people could sit facing any direction inwardly. The cabin was also supported by enduring large steel bars that were attached on the four sides of the cabin in connection with the wheel bars. This made the balance of the cabins stable, allowing the passangers to sit in one side if they wanted to without worrying about the pod to tilt on one side.

Taking the advantage of the cabin settings you scooched over to the side of the seat that faced the city and grabbing Seokjin's pinky you signalled him to scooch over to your side. Once he did you held his arm closely and pointed in front of you with your free hand. 

The fog had just began to settle on the glass that you had wiped a while ago but it didn't blur out the view completely yet. The tireless city seemed so restful from high up there, like a reflection of the stars against the black night sky.  

There was something so serene about the whole atmosphere that made Seokjin let out a small sigh. He looked at you and mumbled, "Thank you for this. It's so beautiful." 

You kept your head on his shoulder and said softly, "Told you it'll be worth it."

Agreeing to you with a soft hum he slowly rested his head on yours and intertwined his fingers with yours. 

Moments slipped by as both of you continued to watch the fog take over the glass cabin making the outside world obscure with its white veil. 

You realised for the first time in a long while you and your boyfriend were having a moment when you could just sit there and not think about the cruel world outside. You wanted to hold onto this moment so when you got completely isolated from the outside view you lifted your head from his shoulder and went over to the opposite direction to turn on a switch which lighted up the cabin with built-in small fairy lights. 

A series of giggles escaped Seokjin's mouth making you turn around and he asked you, "What else did you plan?" 

"Just a few things.." you trailed off a little with a shy smile and sat beside him. 

"I have something for you." You said softly with a smile but only you knew how your heart was beating at a fast pace. 

But then you noticed something outside that made you squeal and you flipped a switch placed under the seat which made the roof of the cabin retract like a convertible car. 

Snowflakes started to fall tenderly inside the cabin and you remarked while watching the flakes, "The first snowfall of the year…" 

But Seokjin was more amazed by the cabin system so he couldn't hold back his amazement as he exclaimed, "Woah! When did the technology advance so much?" 

"I designed it!" You replied proudly while pointing at the logo of the architect & manufacturing company you worked at. 

"How many surprises are you hiding?" He asked and started looking through the whole cabin, "you even installed a heater in the pod! You were really thinking about this night while designing it, weren't you?" He placed his gaze on you. 

"Well, the idea came into my mind two years ago when we visited the amusement park for Christmas and I thought how beautiful it would be to look over the city with you and enjoy a little bit of snowfall… It turned out to be better than beautiful!" You explained while pointing to the small heater, "but the heater is a temporary one only for this pod. May be in the next batch I'll think about ones with heaters installed in them." 

When you turned to look at Seokjin you caught him staring at you with the gentlest smile and a heat rushed from your neck to the cheeks. 

"Enough about my stupid project! This is your night! And I have one more thing for you." You winked at him and reaching into the inside pocket of your coat you pulled out a small box that had maroon velvet cover with a gold spotted silver ribbon tied on it and handed it to the curious man beside you. 

"Ah! Why do you have to spend so much on this stupid day?" Seokjin whined shaking his head in disapproval. 

"Because I want to!" You looked at him and mocked him by sticking your tongue out. 

"Aish! It feels like you are my fan and you have got just some moments to spend with me and you are trying to make it as much special as possible!" He joked and started to untie the knot of the ribbon with the smile intact on his lips. 

"Who knows? May be in some other universe I am!" You replied with a light shrug and brushed your fingers lightly on his hair along the line of the ear. 

"Then I am sure I love you in that universe too!" He leaned a little on your palm and moving his head a little he placed a small kiss on your palm and then went back to unwrapping the gift. 

You clenched your fist as he finished untying the ribbon. You could feel your chest tighten with every move of his fingers. You took back your hand that was resting loosely on his shoulder until now and tucked both of your hands in between your thighs and waited, holding your breath, for him to see what you got for him. 

It's been a few seconds if you counted it correctly and yet the only expression on Seokjin's face was a blank one. His smile, that was just there before, had vanished too. 

You still waited eagerly for his response as he sat there with the box in his left hand that had the couple ring inside of it that you had bought a week beforehand from the most famous wedding jewelry shop in the city and the note on his right hand that was previously inside the box under the rings – the note which said in your beautiful cursive handwriting, "Let's get married." 

You could feel your heart sink a little bit when without saying anything Seokjin put the note inside the box and closed it. The expectant smile that you have been holding till now, you felt it fading rapidly. 

He fumbled with the box for a moment as if he didn't know what to do with it and then he slowly took your hands and kept it there.

He looked into your wavering eyes and whispered, "I can't." 

You blinked and felt a string of tears moisten your cold cheeks. Your lips quivered and you mouthed, barely able to speak under all the rush of emotions inside your chest that choked your heart causing an unbearable pain, "Why?" 

Seokjin softly engulfed your hands in his big ones and kept his forehead on yours. You leaned on his and closed your eyes trying to prevent yourself from crying and said, "I know there's some stupid reason behind your answer." 

He just shook his head in a no against yours. 

Inhaling sharply you continued, "If I did something wrong then just tell me! What is it? Do you not love me anymore?" 

At your words Seokjin held your cheeks gently and made you look up and locked his eyes with yours, "There will never be a single second when I won't love you with all of me." 

"Then why?" You let out a mild scream and you let your tears fall freely. 

"Because I can't support a family right now! I don't have a proper job! My dream… It's still so unsure and I can't burden you with me!" 

You looked at him and blinked a few times as if processing what he had just said and you crunched your eyebrows, "What?" 

Letting out a deep sigh you took your cupped face out of Seokjin's hands and wiped your tears. 

Then you cupped Seokjin's face in your hands with quite a force gaining an "ow" from him. 

"Stupid, idiot, dumb!" You felt your lost smile coming back. 

Surprised at your response Seokjin found himself dumbfounded. 

"Was this your reason? Seriously? We have been together for five whole years, love! And you come up with such a bullshit reason? Geez I thought you were going to leave me!" You pretended to scold him. 

"What!? No! I am never leaving you! I.. I am just not ready yet.." Seokjin looked away and stared into the distance. 

You laughed and leaving his face you sat close to him and while looking at your boot covered feet you said, "I know you know but still if I haven't made it clear enough you are never a burden… You have always been my only refuge, my safe place. And it gets so hard to wake up and find the other side of the bed empty or when I speak out and you are not there to reply, only the lonely apartment.. so I have been thinking about this for some time now that what if we could stay together and make you mine forever…" You smiled and sparing a quick glance at his own smiling self you continued, "Of course we can move in together but to call you my husband… I felt a strange chill run up my spine every time I thought about it.. so I just wanna say, not pressuring you or anything," you intertwined his pinky finger with yours, "that I can sustain for us both and I know you don't believe in all the gender stereotypical bullshits. But even after this you want to wait until you are ready, I am ready to wait for you." You rested your head on his shoulder once again, relieved that you were not losing him. 

The silence that was prevailing in the air for a brief moment got cut off by a notification on Seokjin's phone. You kept on resting your head on his shoulder while he checked his phone. 

"Hey!" He called out mildly after keeping the phone in his pocket.

"Hm?" You raised your head and looked at him. 

"Let's get married." He said with a soft smile and glint in his eyes. 

"What?" The question escaped your lips quite loudly as you looked at him with wide eyes. 

"Hey! Stop kidding! What is this about?" You asked again after not getting a reply from Seokjin. 

Seokjin grinned widely and exclaimed happily, "You remember the drama I auditioned for, right? They just emailed me. I am selected for the second male lead role!" 

"What the fuck!??? I can't believe this! Kim Seokjin! You. Are. Going. To. Make. It. Big! You were whining a while ago about your dream! Ah! This is so exciting! How can you stay so fucking calm?" You shook your hand in the air as if shaking off all your worries and cupping Seokjin's chiseled face you placed a soft kiss on his lips. 

Seokjin pouted at the short-lived kiss. You laughed – mostly because you were so happy and the rest because he was so cute. So you snaked your hand around his neck to pull him closer and locked your lips with his. He put his hands on your waist to pull you even closer, making you sit on his lap, resulting in you hugging him in the process. 

Interlocking your legs around his waist you deepened the kiss. As you felt his tongue snaking around yours you lightly held onto the hair at the back of his head and sucked on his tongue. He smiled in the kiss and tugging on your lower lip with his teeth he whispered, "So, is that a yes?" 

Freeing your lip from his grip you held his face to take a better look and then brushing the tip of your nose against his you whispered, "Yes! I can't stress it enough but it's always a yes!" 

A blink worth time passed and you touched his lips with yours and murmured, "Now stop talking and kiss me!" You closed your eyes and drowned yourself in the embrace of him and his lips, not caring about the snow petals falling relentlessly against the growing night. 

-•The End•-

— © 2021 apotatomashedbybts, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. Translations are not allowed.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Thurs 10 June ‘21

DREAMS DO COME TRUE and fanfics do come to life, how lucky are we? Seriously though, cooking show Louis AND footie Louis in one day, have we finally crossed out of the dark timeline and into some kind of blessed AU?! Louis is doing a COOKING SHOW (well, a little cooking video), and even better- it’s one of those things where he tries to recreate a recipe on his own for the camera! Full Time Meals is part of Marcus Rashford’s campaign to end child food insecurity in the UK. Celebrity chef Tom Kerridge makes easy meals from cheap ingredients for folks to follow along with, so Louis shouldn’t have too much trouble- good for him, though maybe not quite as entertaining for us, but this is one step closer to Celebrity Bake Off, keep dreaming big and crossing those fingers! Kerridge will post his recipe video on Sunday, and then Monday they’ll post Louis making the same thing. The preview pic is just long ass hair everywhere OMG. Put on a hairnet, hippie! NOT ONLY THAT I guess he is still at the studio, but hey that just means more video for us and not only that, today’s fan videos are of Louis kicking a football around- look at him GO!- with CHILDREN, goddddd. TOOO much, truly excellent.

My Policeman filming officially wrapped, and Harry took a fan pic in London (with a fan called… Harry!) Harry (Styles) is wearing his “louie” shirt (hey I didn’t name the thing okay it’s literally called that) and carrying his blue bandana in his back pocket (on the left, relevant if hanky code, probably not relevant if he was just carrying it for hay fever symptoms or whatever.)

Liam assured us that the Vegas entrepreneur dinner will be very fun and (in his underwear, hello) said that he loves his discord and he did a live chat about Lonely Bug and NFTs. He said, “lonely bug is my inner child,” there will be LB merch- “very limited toy drop might add clothes don’t know,” that the new song has “very very bright lyrics,” and said both that his knee is sore and that his knee is much better thanks, how very Liam.

And in a (these days rare for me) dip into fandom discourse, I see writer Kaitlyn Tiffany is back making the rounds of blogs for her book about the 1D fandom and how craaaazzzy larries are; BLOCK HER. Her tumblr url is kaittiffany (EDIT SJDKJFKS she has deleted since this morning OK THEN but she will be back again; I’m leaving this in for next time as we definitely haven’t seen the last of her, plus you know I went to all the trouble of writing it.) A book actually reporting on this complex and somewhat unique fandom objectively from a place of interest and curiosity would be fascinating and totally worthwhile… but sadly this REALLY ain’t it. She has made it clear she has no intention of actually writing about the intricacies of this fandom, only in finding material to bolster her already decided upon thesis about the ‘clinical paranoia’ and conspiracy theorizing of young women online. Her entire premise is based on her own preconceived bias, and she came here to find things to support her premise rather than coming up with it based on what she saw (not to mention it’s totally dated at this point, she really missed the cultural moment on that) and she has no interest in hearing what we have to say, only in pathologizing to support the sensationalist brief she probably got a publishing advance for and finding things to pull out of context to make her already decided on points. Anyway she wrote the intern- who had not blocked her to that account, oops- offering the ‘choice’ between one of our posts being quoted in her book with or without a name attached GEE THANKS SUCH GREAT OPTIONS; once she sees anything she wants to pull out of context, you can’t do anything about it (this is a public platform), so just block her so she doesn’t see it in the first place.

Hey but since we’re not getting an actual balanced book about the fandom maybe someone should write a companion book to hers analyzing the psychological phenomena of antis! Hey publishers, I can throw around buzz words too plus unlike her I know what I’m talking about as an actual member of this community, check it out: I propose an analysis in the aftermath of the Trump era of ‘othering’ in online spaces and how certain fandom groups operate as a socially acceptable entry level location of practice in demonizing a peer population which can act as a gateway to normalizing the othering of other cultures, races, etc. In this essay book I will address how fans experience peer validation and support to egg each other on in bullying other people because those people have been coded as Other and Wrong and because their community reinforces the idea that attacking other humans is Good Behavior and that normal constraints and ethics are suspended when people need to be Made to Understand the Righteous Truth and that any means justify that end, and how that carries over into non-fandom life and is dangerous as hell. Now THAT’S timely, DM for deets about where to send my advance!

[andrea-lyn]

The Recs (Less Travelled)

I’m excited to bring you the first installment of my ‘roads less travelled’ recs! I will be doing another round of this, probably once the Ted Lasso fic tag hits about 25 pages, and then I’ll also grab a couple more fandoms to collect in there! 

The Rules:

Each fandom/pairing was sorted on Archive of Our Own by completed works. Anything recced here was not in the first ten pages when sorted by kudos at the time of reccing. There may be some more well-known authors on this list, but the specific fics I’ve picked are ones that didn’t crack that top ten or just didn’t get much traction and I think deserve it, so hopefully I have also balanced it out with other under the radar (and still great!) works. As ever, I have a pinned post of my other recs (none have been duplicated from there), so you can also check those out! Under the cut you’ll find 10 recs in each fandom for:

Raven Cycle

Roswell New Mexico

The Old Guard

Inception

Star Trek (mainly Kirk/McCoy)

The Raven Cycle

savor all the little pieces by littlelionvanz

“Since when do you garden?”

Ronan snorted, “Since I grew up on a fucking farm, genius. Jesus who gave you permission to pursue higher education.”

the old grip of the familiar by littleseal

"There is a single black feather and a printed out picture of Gansey, Blue and Cheng standing in front of some fucking monument Ronan didn’t care enough to remember the name of. Gansey sent it to Ronan’s phone some time ago, but it sat in his messages until Adam picked it up and grinned at it so hard that, one afternoon later, Ronan cursed and kicked and glared his old printer back to life in order to print it out.

Fuck, he thinks, I’m in love with a hoarder."

Adam collects things. Ronan is in love with him.

No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin by gansey_is_our_king

Ronan Lynch has wanted to kiss Adam Parrish for a long time.

(alternately titled: four times that Ronan could have kissed Adam)

Cheers to Another Seven Years! by skyermirth

Adam left Henrietta for Harvard and never returned. Now, seven years has passed, and an unexpected work assignment has brought him back to a place and people he hardly recognizes.

Row, row, row your boat by emmerrr

“What. Why are you smiling at me,” he says suspiciously.

Adam shrugs. “You’re cute.”

“I’m not cute, I’m terrifying.”

“Terrifyingly cute,” Adam says.

and now the world is ours to take / and every single move is ours to make by thatlittleblackcat

"Adam was the scientist, Ronan was the data, and Orphan Girl was the key that explained the strange outliers that Ronan presented, his previously unexplainable actions."

//

Adam sorts out his feelings, Ronan helps him, Gansey is the number one dad friend, Blue is the number one mom friend and Henry tries to make Ronan smile. Otherwise known as the story of how Orphan Girl became Opal.

All These Things You Make Me Feel by SilverOpals394

It was late. Adam could feel the long day catching up to him as he left Boyd’s, all his energy exhausted. When he started his car, the tape deck whirred to life once more. He sighed and raised his hand to turn it off, but before he did a soft melody began to play.

AU in which the mixtape Ronan made for Adam only plays the murder squash song until Adam realizes he's in love with Ronan, too.

Ways to Communicate by Jalules

Blue Sargent reflects on an early memory (and gets busy with her boyfriends.)

(The two things are related, trust me.)

Hold Me Closer, I'm Safe in Your Arms by actuallyronanlynch

“You wanna tell me why I had to hear from Henry Cheng that my boyfriend was at the hospital?” Adam hissed, though his voice wasn’t as acidic as it could’ve been. Ronan took small victories where he could.

“You don’t have a cellphone,” Ronan pointed out flatly. “It’s not like I could’ve gotten a hold of you.”

arts and crafts and the inevitability of death by sunshineinthestorm

Adam comes to the public library in search of a study spot, not a boyfriend. 

But it must be his lucky day—because he ends up with a bit of both.

 Roswell New Mexico

a conversation between insignificant others by Bellakitse

“Hey…have you noticed that our boyfriends are madly in love with each other?"

“You noticed that too, huh,” she answers dryly, letting out a huff of reluctant amusement.

***

Forrest and Maria share a drink and a conversation and start a friendship.

Own Personal Hell by BeStillMySlashyHeart

Now that Isobel's getting the hang of her telekinesis, Michael decides to test out his telepathic abilities. It backfires. Badly. Now Michael's trapped inside his own mind and only one person can break him out.

Drop the Hammer by brightloveee

Max makes a new friend at the shooting range, who turns out to be even more bad-ass than he expected.

(Takes place mid-S1)

Boys Like You by forgadgetsandgizmos

Curly, dirty blond hair (the mere description ‘curly’ felt like an injustice) twisted in every direction off his head, a sharp contrast with the scruff darkening his strong jawline and scowl-ridden face.

Alex made a mental note to compliment Maria on her excellent taste in men.

—

Or, Alex has coffee with Maria's one-night stand, a man who he definitely does not have a crush on.

let's exchange the experience by lostin_space

Michael decides they need to quarantine.

OR

Michael floods Alex with love and care over and over and over.

This Is Hardcore by Anonymous

Michael makes a proposal. Alex accepts. Michael wonders what the hell he’s gotten himself into.

i don't know what to think (but i think of supernovas) by Milzilla

michael discovers that the console can talk. then, he discovers it can do far more than that.

iridescence on skin by Lire_Casander

In a world where (almost) everyone has a tattoo on their right wrist with one set of coordinates that point to the place where their soulmate is born, Alex thought he wouldn't be any different. He couldn't be more mistaken.

He has two.

The Real Thing by elliebird

Max checks on Michael the morning after Michael saves Max’s ass from Wyatt Long and his dumbass buddies. He sees more than he’s supposed to.

Written for a Tumblr anon who one of their friends walking in on them or anyone of them finding out about Michael and Alex in an interesting way 

Sundering by romancandles 

“You know it was just an Air Force balloon, right?” says Alex.

Michael smirks. “That’s what they want you to think,” he says, with a wink.

The Old Guard

Peer Reviewed by ishandahalf

[From:] Journal of Medieval Studies (jms.eds@jms.com)

[Subject:] Ad-hoc note from the editor

I have noticed an uncommon level of animosity in your responses to your reviewers (or rather, one reviewer in particular). I am writing to ask if you would please do your best to keep your interactions civil. In fairness, I have also sent a similar request to the reviewer you seem to have this friction with. I trust you will both try and remain more professional in the future.

Again, thank you for submitting your work to this journal.

Sincerely,

James Copley, PhD

Editor-in-Chief

Journal of Medieval Studies

An (accidental) academic epistolary romance as (inadvertently) documented via a (theoretically) rigorously blinded peer review process.[citation needed]

third for a word and the song keeps going Macremae

It was honestly shaping up to be a pretty uneventful year before the Vatican got on Nicky’s bad side.

Or: three times in 2008 that the team genuinely thought about killing Nicky if only to get him to shut up about the changes to the Catholic English Mass and his unrelenting opinions on them, and one time Nile did.

Apex Predators In Island Ecosystems (Freeman et al., in press) by Sixthlight

Palaeobotany PhD student Nile Freeman and her supervisor Joe al-Kaysani are invited to billionaire Stephen Merrick’s new project – a theme park full of cloned dinosaurs. What could possibly go wrong?

This Rough Magic by Marivan

When Joe came to Scotland to study the sea, he did not expect to also encounter a beautiful man claiming that A. he’s a selkie and B. they’re married because Joe picked up his scarf.

It sounds like a fairy tale and that’s a problem. Because Joe’s a scientist. And selkies don’t exist.

Wars for the broken by Yuliares

Five years into his exile, Booker is joined by a companion he never expected to meet. Together, they try to work on healing.

Sometimes they go down to the sewers just so she can scream and scream. “I like to hear it echo,” she explains. “Underwater, you can’t hear anything. Here, at least I can be heard.”

“I don’t feel like a warrior anymore,” she tells him, throwing bread crumbs at pigeons. “I feel broken.”

“You’re still a warrior,” he says roughly. “This is still fighting.”

a good (eighth) impression by deanniker

Over the next few months, Joe runs into Nicky every so often at the farmer’s market. Some weekends Nicky doesn’t make it, because of his work schedule - Joe doesn’t understand it because he doesn’t ask, though he does start to recognize when one of those missing weekends is coming up because Nicky will stock up on things with longer shelf-life. When they do run into each other, they make small talk and move through the stalls together.

Joe doesn’t mention it to Lykon when he stops by, because it is kind of weird, that Lykon’s ex-boyfriend texts Joe things like - If you’re here, the apples look particularly good this week and thank you for that recipe, I did not know what I was going to do with that much couscous

Or,

Joe wouldn't usually consider starting anything with his best friend's ex, but as long as they keep it casual, it shouldn't be weird... right?

get back to where you once belonged by tenderjock

Nile takes a sip of her cappuccino and closes her eyes.

(Booker and Nile get that coffee. Life happens, along the way.)

a house; a home by mehm

“Is this a kidnapping?” Joe asks as Nicky checks both their seat belts. “Like, I don’t mind. It’s just not quite what I expected for my birthday.”

In which Joe gets a birthday surprise, because that’s the stuff you have time for when you and the love of your life become mortal at the same time.

the ties that bind by damaskrose

“There’s a story I heard many times,” Andy begins, “in the Mediterranean. Threads of fate and three sisters. One to spin, one to measure, and one to cut.”

Clutter And Croutons by flawedamythyst

Joe and Nicky have an argument, and then Nicky talks to Nile about what it really means to be in a relationship for 900 years.

Inception

My Big Fat Slightly Annoying Wedding by jibrailis

Arthur and Eames elope for ~tax reasons. Certain people in their lives are not happy at the lack of a wedding.

Remember Sydney by pathera

When Eames shambles into the safe house outside of London, he finds a red light blinking on the phone.

For the inception_kink prompt:

Arthur is on a plane which is about to crash. No way anyone is going to survive. Instead of panicking he calmly calls the team's office and gets the answering machine. He hangs up before the plane crashes.

Give me Arthur's last message to the team.

 (TW: Character Death / Angst)

Of Such Deceitfulness and Suavity by delires

In which emotions manifest themselves in unusual ways.

YO, K2tog (it's like a code) by lazulisong

“Oh my God,” moans Arthur. “I’ve paid less for Somnacin. Good Somnacin.” A horrible thought strikes him. “How much is the yarn --”

“I want you to have an unguarded reaction,” Eames tells him, and pulls him up from the floor.

(They run an extraction on a knitter.)

hit the ground running by orphan_account

"I travelled halfway around the world for you. I dealt with the French for you."

Valley by wldnst

It's an old story: a knight, a prince, a kingdom in peril.

If This Is Rain Let It Fall On Me and Drown Me by Brangwen

We used to be so brave, Eames thought. Of the two of them, Arthur had always been the more fearless.

a gentle familiarity by jollypuppet

Two weeks later, Eames is on his doorstep with bad Italian takeout and a grin, and Arthur tells him he can sleep on the couch.

Your Crisis Cannot Be Completed As Dialed by sevenimpossiblethings

Arthur doesn't do snow, Ariadne is determined to be as Midwestern as possible, and blizzards make cell phone service unreliable.

Let’s Say I Do (I Do) by xsilverdreamsx

There were, perhaps some things worse that this, Arthur thinks, as he glares at the letter in his hand with his name printed clearly in bold ink, indicating his presence in two weeks for his esteemed marriage to one William H. Eames, III, at St. Catherine's Church in London, England.

Star Trek (predominantly Kirk/McCoy)

Show the World That Something Good Can Work by knune

Leonard McCoy is a doctor, not a personal assistant, and maybe that's why he can't stand working for Jim Kirk.

It's in the little things by winterover

Bones is bemused by a persistent secret admirer.

"Wedding" Away with It by pendrogon

One morning, Bones wakes up and he's single. By the same afternoon, he's married to Jim Kirk for Arbitrary Fic Reasons(TM).

How Long Will You Stay (For Your Whole Life) by withthepilot

Jim Kirk, deputy director of the Enterprise parks and recreation department, sees all of his hard work fall to pieces when budget specialist Leonard McCoy arrives from the state capital to cut Jim's budget and threaten the livelihoods of his colleagues. But thanks to a major parks project, Leonard finds a place in the department, as well as in Jim's life—and when all is said and done, Jim doesn't want him to leave.

All-Time Favorite by mardia

What to do when your best friend suddenly starts making new friends. 

Joy Ride by Cards_Slash

While running for their lives from an alien species Kirk had accidentally enraged, they come across a car. And well, if you were to come across a car while being chased by aliens that wanted you dead, and you possessed some lingering knowledge of how to drive a car similar to said car, you would have decided to drive it toward the nearest cliff too.

Also a gunfight.

Syncytia by epistolic

He’d signed up for Starfleet on an impulse, but Starfleet meant James Tiberius Kirk: the first – and second, and third, and fourth – big mistake of Leonard McCoy’s life.

Renovation by canistakahari

Jim has a whammy put on him by an alien death ray and he suddenly craves domesticity. He's crazy with longing to shop at space!Ikea and get potted bamboo and he starts looking into adopting AND HE HATES HIMSELF AND CANNOT CONTROL THE SHIT. Luckily, McCoy is drunk all the time and plays house.

17:08 by butterflycell

She'd watched the news holos with a sick feeling, searching for information that was completely obvious in its absence. Amidst the reports of the the Enterprise's miraculous recovery and the damages sustained, there had been next to nothing about the crew or her captain. Jim had been mentioned only in passing, his name shied away from as his first officer limited interaction to the bare essentials.

The Honey of Hybla by shrift

"Bones, prepare to be my date."

[illumose]

BTS reaction : when they say something they end up regretting

genre : pure angst, one or two curses.

author’s note : i’m back with a new reaction !

seokjin •

Arguments with Seokjin never lasted. You would always find a way to break it, to apologize or to find a solution. However, it seemed that today there was no solution.

"I can’t believe that you’re accusing me of flirting with this girl. She was just being nice, and she’s a fan. It’s part of my job to be nice, to smile, and to hug back," Seokjin screamed from the other side of the kitchen. He was furious that you dared to accuse him of thinking of another woman when you were all he ever wanted. "It’s not my fault if you’re insecure and have no confidence at all," He continued before actually shutting his mouth once he understood what he just said. He scooted up further to you, but you stepped back.

"Invalidating my emotions and my feelings because I told you about my insecurities is low, Seokjin. Really low, even for you. Leave me the hell alone," You muttered, with a broken voice. You suppressed a sob, and locked yourself up in the bathroom of your shared house.

yoongi •

Yoongi could be harsh with the words he used, without even realizing the impact it could have on the person in front of him.

"You’re always on my back. You’re not my mother, Y/n but you behave like it. You’re controlling and annoying. I can’t have a single day without hearing your tiresome high-pitched voice. It’s getting on my nerves. I don’t need to see you every day, every hour, every minute. I don’t need you, at all," He told you this with a cold tone. No kindness, no consideration towards your feelings. He believed that the only way to release his frustration was to snap, to lash out his vexation.

You took a step back, assimilating your boyfriend’s little speech. "You know what, Min Yoongi?" His head snapped in your direction. "You can go to hell. I’ve been trying to help you. I’ve been the one bringing you lunch because you always forget to eat while you’re working on a new song. I’ve been the one coming to check on you while I could hang out with my friends, people who actually care about me. You never make a goddamn effort in this relationship, and I’m tired of being treated like trash. Pick up your stuff and leave my apartment, I deserve better."

hoseok •

Hoseok tried to teach you how to dance, but due to your clumsiness and bad coordination, the result was terrible.

"How can you be so bad at dancing? Even a child could do it," He snapped, opening his water bottle. Jimin, who was here to practice, watched his hyung with shock and incomprehension. "Dancing is not the only thing you mess up, it’s like you have no talent at all. You tried cooking, singing, drawing, writing. Nothing fitted you.”

"Hyung," Jimin stepped in, trying to stop his friend from making a terrible mistake. You looked at your boyfriend with utter surprise. You never expected him to be pitiless, it was the first time you danced in your whole life.

"Y/n does not have a talent, it needs to be said," Hoseok went on saying, completely brushing away the fact that he was purposely hurting your feelings. "I’m wasting my time."

Instead of snapping back, you chose to exit the room.

namjoon •

Tour has drained all the energy from Namjoon’s body, making him a little more annoyed at little things which wouldn’t normally bother him. Today, when he saw that you had forgotten to stow the plates after washing the dishes. It’s a small thing, completely harmless, but it pushed him to be out of his mind

"Can’t you do anything properly? Is it too hard for you? It’s not rocket science to fucking stow the plates," He yelled, one of his hands running through his hair. He was frustrated, his face was red. Even if you knew that you should not take it personally, his words hurt you. "You’re a pain in the ass," He muttered, out of anger, without realizing what he just said.

He did not realize that those words would be taken seriously. When he saw your face, full of sadness and pain, he began to regret his behavior and his words. He messed up, pretty badly. No words escaped your mouth, it was as if you had forgotten how to talk. "Y/n," He called you out, before you ran away from him to your shared bedroom.

jimin •

You canceled your date with Jimin on the last minute because of an emergency at work. Your boss needed you, and you could not refuse. You tried to explain it to your boyfriend, but he was being childish and stubborn. Perhaps the fact that he was looking forward to this date to propose played an important part in his behavior. However, the reasons as to why he was acting like a total jerk stayed a complete mystery.

"You don’t even have a few hours to give to your boyfriend of four years. You complain about me being away for too long when you’re doing the same thing. You’re never here," He raised his voice, as soon as you entered your shared flat.

"Jimin, you are being ridiculous right now. You better stop this, I’m tired and all I want is to sleep,” You wanted him, suppressing a yawn. You wished he would understand and let it go, but apparently, he could not.

"Fortunately, I did not make the mistake to propose to you, I would have ended up regretting it."

Eyes wide-opened, he cursed at his stupid statement. Why couldn’t he keep his mouth closed?

taehyung •

"Honestly, you should stop cooking. It’s terrible, Y/n. Is it even food?" He asked, a look of disgust on the face, despite the effort you put into cooking for him.

You weren’t good at cooking, and you knew it. Nevertheless, you always tried to improve yourself, which meant you had to go through mistakes and errors. Seokjin reassured you and helped you. He believed that you were not a lost cause.

"I don’t know why I’m expecting you to succeed, you always mess up what you’re doing," He said, rolling his eyes. You looked at him, flabbergasted. Why was he so cruel?

"You‘re an asshole, Taehyung. I can’t believe I’m dating you," You scoffed, clearly pissed off. You wouldn’t let him see the pain he caused you. You did not like to show your emotions to him. "From now on, you can take your stuff and go to the dorm. Our relationship is over. I messed up when I accepted to date you."

jungkook •

Jungkook always managed to avoid arguments. He found ways to temper and appease the conflict instead of adding fuel to it. Nonetheless, today, he was the one who lost common sense.

"You’re the one always bothering me because I did not tidy the room or I did not pick up my clothes. You’re so uptight, you can’t even live one full day without controlling and ordering. You have no life. It exhausts me to hear you yell at me," He snapped, harshly. He had no reason to be mean, but he did it anyway.

"Well, Jungkook, if you’re not happy, you can walk out of our flat. Perhaps if you acted like an adult, I would not have to be here reminding you to clean up after yourself. Grow up a little, because right now you are being a complete jerk. I don’t need a child or a teen in my life, but a man who can deal with his shit without needing someone to be looking after him," You replied, so calmly that Jungkook shivered. You weren’t one to yell, even if you felt offended and distressed.

[mockingbird-on-the-throne]

Sorry this isn’t my crack theory this is just a bunch of thoughts I’ve had about Sansa. Doing a reread of asoiaf now and got to the first Alayne chapter last night. It got me thinking- what does every other POV have in common? Now maybe it’s not in your face, and maybe it takes a few books, maybe they only briefly come in contact with it or it only influences them in a subtle way, and maybe it’s not in every chapter but.... for the most part, every other character is linked to or directly affected by magic ((you can argue with me about this but I am prepared to be slippery)). Where is the magic is Sansa’s story?

The closest we get to magic with Sansa is Lady (who dies almost immediately, and Sansa’s wolf dreams never get to develop compared to her siblings’), her marriage to a dude obsessed with dragon lore (who she never really interacts with), and....?????? Kinda weird for a book that is otherwise steeped in magic beasts, prophecy, blood magic, all-seeing networks of wizard dudes, skin and face changing, and general lovecraftian deep ones shit, written by a dude who clearly is influenced by that sort of stuff and keeps writing about hereditary magic powers and hiveminds. So like, what the fuck?

You might say ‘well, the closer a character is to Kings landing the less magic in their story, and Sansa is only involved in the game because of littlefinger who is decidedly non-magical’. But why? We all (sorry, speaking from the creepyshipping network) are hard for Petyr and think he’s so damn brilliant and think... what? That he’s not aware of the fucking DRAGONS in Essos??? He doesn’t know the history of the land his grandfather was from? He doesn’t understand the magical backgrounds of the major houses and the conquering of Westeros?? Well, you might say, he doesn’t need anything more than backstory because magic has left the world. Has it??? No, it hasn’t, and that will be Perry’s downfall... maybe, and I would accept that, I guess, but it seems like a major oversight by a dude who really doesn’t really do oversights...

So what about Sansa? Well, I think that there is some magic going on that we just don’t see. There are other characters who really only have magic done around them or by people they meet (like Jaime- his life is saved and changed at Harenhall, a cursed place, by a maester-school drop out linked to a wack-ass sorcerer, while his father’s armies are harassed by a warrior that many people have seen die in many ways... yet who always appears again on the battle field). Even the stony, serious, teeth-grinder Stannis the Mannis, who is balls-deep in the game, is never more than 5 feet away from a priestess who gave birth to a shadow demon, thinks he (or someone) is Azor Ahai, and is a servant of Rhllor (who is clearly a powerful entity, whether or not you believe it is a ‘god’).

So my question is just what does LF know? Does he have allies? Does he have a back up plan for when the magic comes full force to Westeros? He clearly has somecommunication lines open with Essos from his years of being master of coin. Sansa always sees him writing letters. Who the hell is he writing to?

Basically, my guess is he knows more than we think (and why would we think he knows anything? We really only see him from Sansa’s view and she doesn’t think about magic, possibly because it’s too linked to songs and stories and she is a traumatized kid). He doesn’t talk about magic because the only magic centers in Westeros are north of the wall, some people at the citadel, whatever the fuck is about to happen with Euron (do we think LF is just... ignoring the iron islands?? A whole ass nation???) and... maybe.... harenhall. People have proposed that harenhall might be the place where some prophecy needs to be fulfilled, because monumental things keep happening there, it’s a crossroads, it’s ‘cursed’... could LF be planning to do something there that requires Sansa? Idk. Maybe LF is totally ignorant of magic, has been ignoring the stories of far Essos, the north, Dany, whatever Rhaegar was up to, all of the gods worshipped on Bravos, Euron, Varys’s weird Blackfyre connection, the resurrection of the Mountain and others... but he just disappeared from the books for like a few hundred pages, keeps writing letters to a mysterious odd-page character(s), is lord of a cursed castle destroyed by dragon fire, and has acquired a possible warg from a family of wargs who might fulfil a prophecy, who is conveniently ignorant of all magic yet extremely perceptive and maybe a pretty good judge of people (considering how characters like Brienne, Cersei, Ned, Arianne, Dany, and Tyrion are older and arguably should be better at that than her, but really aren’t)... like imagine if she knew even two things about magic. She would be likely to put clues together. Is she being kept so deep in the dark because of that???

Sorry this is long and directionless- I just wanted to vomit this into a text post to keep myself thinking through Sansa’s upcoming chapters and see if anyone knew of any discussion about this they could point me towards.

[neo-culture-mafia]

NCT 2018 Reaction To The New Female Member Being a Sassy Assassin

...the first one like...threw itself away...fun times fun times...so let’s do this again! Make sure to read note at end and send in requests!

Requested by @wooyujinseol

Warnings:   |Swearing|    |Mentions of Killing|

Songs Listened to While Writing: Monster - EXO; As Long As You Love Me - Justin Bieber; Sober - Big Bang; Whiplash - NCT 127; Limitless - NCT 127; Drippin’ - NCT Dream; Mad City - NCT 127; Regular - NCT 127; Chain - NCT 127; WET - Flowsik x Jessi; Joke - RM; Locked Out of Heaven - Bruno Mars; I’m Not Sorry - DEAN; Bonnie and Clyde - DEAN x Eric Bellinger

LEE TAEYONG

It was the case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. You worked at your shitty coffee shop job that only had a few people present at a time. Your other co-workers decided not to show up for the night shift, so you were now alone. 

The bell rang, signalling that someone bothered coming in here. “Hello, what would you li-” “Leave. This is Neo Culture land for the rest of the night.” A man said that was in a fancy suit. You just cocked an eyebrow at the man standing in the middle of the ‘dining area’. 

“How about you leave. This is my coffee shop.” You said and he sighed. He hopped over the counter effortlessly, and grabbed your upper arm. You didn’t even hesitate your actions as you grabbed his neck roughly and threw him onto the wall, pinning your other arm on his hand so he couldn’t move it. He was shocked you even had the guts to do this to a man you didn’t even know. 

He smirked a sinister look as he looked down on you. 

“Kiss my ass, prick. I think too much dye has seeped into your brain for you to think you could freely touch me like a hooker. Touch me again and I’ll have you 6 feet under in the span of an 5 minutes.”

_____________

MOON TAEIL

He had been coming back from an Boss meeting in Seoul. He was pumped full of soju and beer and was too ashamed to call one of his men for help. Taeyong and Johnny were overseas handling something so he was the main man running the place for a week. 

He turned down the small street when a man came out, pushing him onto his butt. He landed with an ‘oof’ and he tiredly tried to stand up. “STAND UP OLD MAN!” The mugger yelled. Taeil slowly stood up, and shook his finger in the person’s face...well all 7 of their faces for he had been to intoxicated to tell which was a hallucination or the real deal. “For your information!” He slurred

You walked by and saw the guy pulled a gun. “I am younger than all of Girl’s Generation. I’mm ppracticcalllly a tteeeeen.” He said and threw his hands in the air. You giggled but then noticed the man cock the gun. 

You didn’t think. “DAD!” You yelled and ran to the red haired man. They both turned to you. “Dad?” They both said at the same time. You ran up to him. “Dad, you weren’t supposed to leave the party.” You said and put his arm around your shoulder. You look to the man who stood confused, shoving his gun back into his waistband. “I’m sorry if he caused you any trouble.” You said and bowed, taking the gun in your boot and aiming it at him. 

Taeil bowed with you, but he couldn’t come back up. He groaned. “Taking advantage of a drunk man. Pathetic.” You spat and pulled the trigger without thinking. 

The mugger fell and Taeil finally came back up. “Who are you? How old are you? Why are you out so late?” He slurred.

“I could ask the same for you. I thought the retirement home had a curfew.” 

_____________

SEO JOHNNY

He had refused your entrance to the Junior Forces like a bazillion times. Neo Culture was only accepting male recrutees. You had shown up to every location to have your paper literally thrown back in your face, crumpled. 

“You know what I’m gonna say. Go.” He said and tossed the ball of paper on the floor next to you. Some men and boys ‘oooo’d’ at the scene. You grabbed the paper, straightening it out and walking back down the semi-long line. 

You walked out of the unmarked location and turned the corner. You ran head first into someone. You looked up to see a group of boys you had waited in line with about a week ago. They were super cool before the papers were taken, and once they found out that they got in and you didn’t they used it as an advantage. 

“Ew. It’s Miss. Reject...lemme guess...you got in?” Minhyuck asked and you rolled your eyes. You tried pushing past them, but he pushed you into the wall. “Answer my damn question, ping.” He said and you slapped him across the face, and leaned up to kick his chest with your boot. One of his friends grabbed your torso, so you used that stability to kick your feet up and kick the boy who was running towards you. Once he was down, you sent your head flying back and it met the others nose with a crunch. 

They all were on the ground. “Little girl.” You turned to see the man who has rejected you too many times to count. He motioned for you to come over. You obeyed and walked over quickly. “How’d you learn to do that?” He asked and you looked back to the wheezing and in pain boys. “You learn in the streets.” You said and he nodded slowly. 

He walked over to the boys and ripped their Junior Forces patches off their hoodies and walked back over, handing them to you. “Come on, we need your information.” He said turning you around. 

“Fuck you bitch.” Minhyuck wheezed from the ground. 

“Sorry, I don’t do that with animals.”

_____________

NAKAMOTO YUTA

You didn’t like people. It was easy to tell too. You removed yourself from crowds when you weren’t needed and you had no problem telling it how it is. People were just obstacles, and if you couldn’t get over them, you put one through them. You didn’t do ‘teams’ for other ‘team mates’ were just back-stabbing, loathing, and mean people who didn’t care if they left your ass behind. 

You walked through one of the many markets in Osaka, needing to get your weekly supply of food and water. You wore a cold hard stare on your face as you traveled booth to booth. 

“LET HER GO! HELP!” Someone yelled at the market entrance. You look along with every person in the market. A man and a woman fought over a crying baby girl. The man was forceful while the woman was gripping on for dear life. The little girl was no older than 4, and the tears in her eyes were just emotionless fear. 

Everyone turned back to their own work to ignore the scene. You would’ve felt bad if you turned away because the woman was staring into your eyes, sending silent pleas. You groaned and threw your head to the sky. “Why do you insist in putting me in these positions?” You mumble. 

You returned to Earth and ran over. You opened your arms and ran right between the adults. You approached at full speed and held the little girl close to your body as you ran through and she was released with a pop of her shoulders. 

You stopped and returned the girl, afraid to be mistaken for another ‘kidnapper’. You set the girl down behind the woman and she wrapped both her arms around the girl, sobbing. She had her back turned as the guy saw it as an opportunity. He walked closer but you were quick to lay a high kick to his stomach, causing him to stop because of all the air being knocked out of him. 

You kicked the man to the ground and the woman grabbed her phone. “Yuta. Market. Now. They tried to take Aiko.” She shaked as she straightened out the girls dress and hair bows. She held her close again. “They tried to ta-take her. My baby.” She sobbed and you actually felt a little emotion. 

She hung up the phone and the man was still regaining his breath. “I’m gonna take him in the alley till someone shows up.” You said and she nodded. “Wait, can you actually stay here with me?” She asked and you were honestly conflicted. 

“I’ll put him there and then I’ll be back.” You said and she hurridley nodded. You dragged the man by his ear, and had no problem laying a bullet through his skull. 

You walked back, a few people running in fear because of the loud pop your gun had erupted. 

You just stood silently behind the crouched woman and girl, resting a hand on her back. “Honey, hold my hand so they don’t mistake you.” She said and you cocked an eyebrow. “What? No-” She gripped your hand and you just stared at it. It had been so long since someone showed you this type of motherly affection. 

At least 9 black SUV’s pulled around you all. You got protective and stood infront of the woman and little girl. One hand in the woman’s and one on the holster of your gun. 

Men stepped out with even bigger guns. One man approached as you made yourself seem bigger and more intimidating. “Step back.” You seethed and the woman gripped your hand, now standing. “It’s okay. He’s my husband.” She said and you slowly nodded, staring the man down still. “Car. Now.” He said as he had his eyes set on you. The woman and little girl ran to the car with it’s door already propped open. 

“You helped them. You helped me. It is greatly appreciated.” He said and you rolled your eyes. “Well I would’ve felt bad if I turned away.” You said and he nodded. “As should everyone.” He looked into the market. “Work for me-” “What?” You blurted. 

“Not only was that the stupidest proposal ever, that was the worst ‘thank you’ I have ever heard...wow. ‘It is greatly appreciated’ like what?”

________

QIAN KUN (carried on from Taeyong’s)

He didn’t like you from the beginning. You had hurt one of his men. “She crushed his esophagus, then took all the money from his wall-” “His esophagus isn’t crushed, Jisung.” Kun said and Taeyong chuckled. “And my wallet is still full.” He said and Jisung sighed. “I liked my version better.” Jisung said and the 2 older boys laughed and the younger’s imagination. 

“She cracked my neck...that was it.” Taeyong took a sip from the warm tea in his cup. “Go grab the girl.” Kun said and Jisung trailed out quickly. Jisung walked in not even 2 minutes later, holding his cheek and tears brimming his eyes while he keeps a safe distance between you and him. “What happened now?” Kun asked, his arms folded across his chest and his weight shifted onto one foot. “She hit me-” Jisung started and Kun was mad at the fact you had the nerve to be brought into their property and still hit one of them. 

“He was whistling at me like a dog while he crouched down and patted his legs while telling me to come here.” You said and Taeyong choked on his tea while he tried to suppress his laughter. “Jisung you know you deserve that.” Kun said. 

Jisung turns and walks out while vowing revenge with the death ray him and Chenle were currently building behind closed doors. Kun sat you down in a seat as he put on gloves and got cleaning wipes ready. You were going to be examined either way. It was base policy. 

Kun looked at you and asked a simple question: “Am I aloud to examine you for injuries or are you going to hit me with a rock?” He asked. He didn’t expect your response to be so sassy and it made his heart flutter a little bit. He liked your attitude and your responses for it made a smile come onto his face suddenly. 

“That’s a super stupid and illogical question...you should be asking what type of rock I’m going to hit you with...or would you like the mystery package?”

___________

KIM DOYOUNG

You had been a full member for the past week. Yet you and Doyoung had never officially met. He had locked himself in his office and work space, preparing for the huge mission coming up that every member and Junior Force would take part in. 

So, Taeyong thought that you should be the one to deliver the supplies to him so you could both meet and be on good terms. Yet, both of you would not meet on good terms. 

You traveled the base, eventually ending up at his work space door with the bag of supplies in hand and you overthinking your first words to him. He heard the knock and scowled. He walked over and looked through the peep hole to an unfamiliar person. He grabbed his gun, and opened the door quickly. He grabbed your throat and pushed you to the wall behind you. “What the hell, man?” You ask as you gripped his wrist pulling his wrist but it didn’t budge. “Who the hell are you?” He asked putting the gun to your temple. “The new member. I’ve been her for a week.” You said and he just looked at you. “You seriously didn’t hear about me?” You asked growing impatient at his restricting hand. “Obviously not, moron.” He said and you got more angry. You knocked the gun away out of his hands, and you grabbed his waist, bringing him closer. 

You turned you both around so you were leaned against him. You knee was propped up against his hip bone and your arm held both of his hands against his chest. 

He would find this turning on in the moment, yet when he finally gets rest and thinks back to this...he finds it infuriating. He was overpowered by a girl. 

“I was bringing supplies for you. If you’re going to be a smart ass, make sure you’re smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass.” 

_________

TEN

You were pppiiiissssssseeeeddd. Your spot had been taken in the huge dance show by the boy that just showed up to the academy 2 weeks ago. You had been dancing there since you were 2! Your mom had been a ballet teacher at the academy before she passed. The same place that you have, bled, sweat, and cried everything you have into...for what? To have your role casted to another student?! And who names their child Ten?! Like, honestly...this all seemed like a joke.

You walked the cold and dark streets alone back to the apartment you called ‘home’. “Hey sweet-cheeks.” Someone said coming behind you. You jumped a turned around to see a taller individual in a mask. You knew it wasn’t anyone you knew because you didn’t know anyone over 5′7. “Get off me.” You sighed and pushed the man off once you smelled the liquor. “I just want a good time.” He said and came closer. He put his hand on your neck and you yelled at him to stop touching you. 

He tried leaning in to kiss you. You head-butted him hardly and he whimpered as he grabbed his nose. He grew angry and grabbed your arm. You pulled his arm tight, and used it as a step. You threw your legs around his neck and twisted his body down to the ground where his head met the ground with a crack. 

You stood up and felt another hand on your arm, this one was more gentle. You looked to see Ten’s eyes. He seemed unfazed by the dead body laying between your legs. “Are you okay?” He asked checking your body. “Yeah. Fine.” You said straightening your bag on your shoulders. 

He was super impressed as he watched the whole thing take place a couple meters back. He felt as if you hated him...well he knew you hated him. He knew you had good reason though. He wasn’t even a dancer anymore, he was here on a mission when all he wanted to do was get in a get out. Yet, after meeting you, he doesn’t want to leave...even though you want him to. 

“Hey, we need to talk. Do you wanna go to your house?” He asked as he scratched the back of his neck. You sighed. 

“Yes, and you go back to yours. Goodnight, Ten.”

__________

JUNG JAEHYUN

He’s had a thing for your personality for a while...well...personalities. You had 2 major ones that he always saw. One minute you were the cutest, bounciest, and bubbliest person in the world...the next you were the scariest, calmest, and serious person the next. It was scary how fast you would change...but he found it intriguing. 

You were at the Member and Associates Dinner wearing the prettiest dress Jaehyun had ever seen. It hugged your body so perfectly and you looked like an angel that has descended down on a stair case made of diamonds. 

You sat a round table filled with mostly men as you all talked about the mission most of you went on overseas in China. One of the men was new so you were a bit skeptical on how much he knew about the mission. He reached towards his wine glass as his blazer sleeve came up and saw the tattoo that made your head spin. The image that went against everything Neo Culture stood for. 

You wasted no time in standing up, grabbing your gun from your thigh, and placing it on the guys forehead. This got the whole room’s attention in the matter of 3 seconds with no words leaving your mouth. You felt cold metal being pressed to the back of your own head. You sighed and shook your head. 

Jaehyun saw the whole thing and watched your laughter turn into a scowl and then into the situation now. He was by your side in the matter of seconds. He saw you pull your gun and he hopped up from his seat. He watched as the other man next to you cocked his own gun and put it on your head. 

Jaehyun reached in his jacket and pulled his own weapon, putting it on the other’s head with force. 

“Honey, you’ve ruined it all. I was so close to bringing everything down.” The man said, running his hand up your thigh. “Just put the gun down and we can all work something out with my team? Yeah?” He smiled. You shook your head as Jaehyun was quick to say ‘no’. 

The man tsked as his hand went to your inner thigh, trying to make you take your guard down. “I really hate you and your haste decisions.” The man said trailing his hands back up to your waist and pulling you closer to him. 

You gripped his hair, and pulled his head up so he was staring straight up at you. You cocked your gun as Jaehyun quickly hit the second guy upside the temple, probably for questioning later. You put your gun under his chin and smiled. 

“Lucky for you. I make haters my motivators.” 

_____________

DONG SICHENG (WINWIN)  (both of you are dating in this uwu)

He just saw you as cute. You were his little princess that always needed him to keep you safe. You were new to the team and he always took that into consideration. You knew hold to hold your own in and out of the club house, but to make him feel at ease, you let him baby you. You were right there next to him though, especially when he wasn’t the mentally best at some points. A lot of people took advantage of him when he was like that, so you were there to make sure he was grounded and okay. You were his escape. 

You were walking down the hallway, piece of candy on your tongue as you flipped through a magazine filled with exotic lands; and their fashion trends in each. You savored the candy as is for the reason being that Winwin always hid the candy from you because of your ‘bratty attitude’ even though you never agreed. 

Your skirt swayed as you walked along with Winwin’s shirt you stole and tucked into your skirt. Your holster band laid on your thigh for the simple fact that your boyfriend would throw a fit if he saw you walking around without it on. 

You passed his office door and automatically back-tracked...it was closed...he never closes his office door... You drop the magazine onto the carpet and quietly opened the door. You thanked a higher being you bugged Winwin enough that he oiled the door so it wouldn’t squeak anymore. You looked to see Winwin behind his desk, hands next to his head. Infront of him stood his right-hand man. His gun trained on your boyfriends face. 

“You are so dumb, Sicheng. I got so close and your mind was so far away.” He said and Winwin’s jaw clenched. “But that’s okay, ‘cause once your gone I get everything...the members...club house...names...and y/n.” He said and Winwin flinched out of anger as you jumped a little. “No.” You both said at the same time. You gave your position away. 

You grabbed your gun, cocking it, and aiming it. The man turned around and kept the gun focused on Winwin. “Oh, hi princess. How much did you hear? We were just joking around.” He laughed a little. He slowly walked towards you as you took equal steps away. You shivered at the name. “Don’t call me that.” You spat. His smile and demeanor changed as he came towards you quicker. 

“Now.” Winwin called and you closed your eyes, shooting blindly. You had closed your eyes, not wanting to see the man breathe his last breath. You have shot and killed someone before, but not in such close range. It was silence except for quick footsteps. Someone threw their arms around you. You still had your eyes closed as you wiggled from the person’s arms, throwing your hands over your eyes. “No, please go.” You said and they grabbed your waist with one hand, and the other hand rubbed your hand lightly. Your hands were pried away by your alive and well boyfriend. He was blocking the bloody scene with his body. 

“You did amazing.” He said kissing your forehead. You wrapped your arms around his waist, holding onto him for dear life. He rubbed your back comfortingly. 

“That guy needs a high five...in the face...with a chair.” You said and he chuckled. You looked up at him, “I was being serious.” You said and he grabbed your face, kissing your forehead again. “Of course you were, princess.” You both heard the quick footsteps from the hallways, probably the security members coming because of the gun shot. Your attention was brought back to his hand gripping your jaw roughly.

“Sweetie, are you eating candy?” He asked and you froze.

You said a comment that made you both freeze and his own eyes squint with annoyance; you were getting ready to run back to the candy stash before he could get there. You now understand why he hides the candy. 

“Yes because I do whatever I want. If it makes me happy, then I do it and I don’t care.”

(OMG sorry not sorry I love writing about dom-ish Winwin. WayV being killing it already oml)

_______________

KIM JUNGWOO

Your attitude and sassiness is something he loved about you. You both clicked as soon as you were introduced to the team. You both were as equally flirtatious and sassy so it worked out well. 

You both walked through the mall, getting to be normal people for a day. Both of you were getting annoyed by people though, so you both kept to yourselves and eachother. 

You both sat outside the mall, drinking some coffee and relaxing with eachother before you both hop into the car as it takes you back to a life of emotionless murder and work. “I’m gonna go get 1 more coffee, want anything?” He asked and you shook your head no, both of you already knowing that you would just take some of his coffee. 

“I’ll get the car ready and be waiting right here.” You said and he nodded, running back into the mall’s coffee shop. You got up, walking to the black car you both rode here. You turned it on, and started the music, turning it down low. Jungwoo always insisted on driving when you were together and you didn’t mind. Your road rage was unlike any other’s anyone has ever seen. 

You stand up and close the door to see a man right there, waiting. You close the door and he grabs your waist, throwing you against the car. “Hey sweetie.” He said and put his hand under your shirt. 

“Get off.” You said, knowing you couldn’t just take out your gun and shoot him in a crowded parking lot. He threw you against the car again, shaking your whole body. “Give me your keys.” He said and you shook your head. You hit the lock button that was located on the inside of the handle. 

He threw you against the car again. “Now.” He said again and actually had the nerve to slap you a little. “I would suggest you leave.” You said and he slapped you again. “Keys. Now.” He said and you just gritted your teeth. You pulled your shirt up to reveal the butt of your gun. He chuckled and lifted his own shirt up, revealing the same. 

I smirked and pulled mine up. “You don’t understand what you’re doing.” I said putting it to his chest. “Aw, Kitten is getting sassy.” He said taking it out and laying it on your chest. 

“Get the fuck away from her.” Jungwoo’s gun was placed on the man’s forehead. The man just rolled his eyes, putting his hand on your waist again. “Fuck it.” You said and shot. You moved his gun away so his last reflex wouldn’t be shooting you. 

He tumbled to the ground and Jungwoo stepped over him and into the car’s driver seat. You hopped in the passengers seat and buckled up, stealing a sip of coffee from Jungwoo’s cup. You said a comment that made the atmosphere fun again.

“He had more dick in his personality that he probably did in his pants.”

___________

WONG YUKHEI (LUCAS)

Both of you were flirty with each other since Day 1. He loved how blushy you would get but then come up with something that would make a hooker blush. Yet, when it was work time...it was work time. 

You both walked through the enemy base, both in disguise as doctors. You could tell both of you fucked up because this place didn’t allow woman as doctors. So you were put between a rock and a hard place when you were questioned by a single guard. “Uh...” Was all you could come up with. 

 “Now.” Was all you said and you hit the guard in the temple, him falling to the ground. Other people became alert. “Oh no, he fainted. I got him, don’t worry.” You said acting, getting down low to him. You put his lips on yours and sucked all the air from his lungs. 

You got up quickly and pointed to the guards around you both. “Watch him, make sure he doesn’t stop breathing. Me and the doctor need to go get the breathing machine.” You said and they all came closer to the unconscious colleague. 

You grabbed Lucas’ hand and ran. You both ran out of the base and to your guys’ car that was hidden from sight. No time was wasted as you both got away with no one on your asses, thankfully. 

You sigh and sit back in your seat. “So...how was your first kiss?” He asked with a smile.

“If you don’t shut your mouth, the next thing that will be coming out of it will be your teeth.”

___________

LEE MARK (carried on from Johnny’s)

He didn’t believe you were really a new member. When Johnny came to him saying that you were going to train, he legit laughed in both of your faces. 

Most of the other boys were upset at their leader. If anyone should be understanding of someone and their willingness to be on the Junior Forces Unit; it should be Mark. Once Johnny himself was ticked off of Mark and his obnoxious self he decided something. “Who’s best at fighting?” Johnny asked and all the other boys caught on. “Mark Hyung.” They all said at once and Mark stopped laughing, feeling betrayed. 

You both walked to the mat in the middle of the studio and you stood with space in between you. “To the death or...?” Mark trailed off as he looked you in the eyes. “Tap out.” Johnny said and you both nodded, stepping back more. You both got into starting position after bowing to each other out of respect. 

“Start!” Johnny yelled. “I should’ve made popcorn.” Chenle muttered to Jaemin, and it got Mark’s attention. Mark turned his head to scold Chenle, but he was already swept off his feet by you. 

He hit the ground with an ‘oof’ as all the air was knocked out of him. All the Junior Forces ‘ooo’ed’ and Mark turned over, trying to get back up. You were quick to put your knee between his shoulder blades, and grab both of his arms, going against the joints. 

He fell onto his chest with a choked out sob of agony. “How the fuck am I supposed to fucking tap out now?!” He asked and all the younger ones laughed. You turned him over, straddling his chest and holding his hands above his head. He tried curling his legs up to hit you, but you were too far up on his body. 

You ducked down so he was closer. You slap his cheek lightly and hold his jaw in your hand. 

“I keep it real, honey. I’m not afraid to make enemies with anyone.” 

___________

HUANG RENJUN

You both hated eachother from the beginning. Both of your attitudes contradicted each other and you both were perfectly okay with annoying eachother and then ignoring each other for the rest of time. He loved getting you all worked up and flustered, he found it cute.

Yet, when you were both locked in a bank vault on what was supposed to be an easy mission; you both were forced to talk. He actually was really into you...he just didn’t know how to show his interest without coming off as a huge asshole. 

“It’s your fault we’re in here.” He said as you counted random money. “No it’s not. It was a joint mission.” You rolled your eyes as you stood up. He followed suit. “You took too long counting the money, Einstein.” He said and you got more flustered as he stepped closer. “You took too long decided where to start first.” You said and once he got closer, you began pushing on his chest to separate both of you. “You should’ve just grabbed it and gone.” He said backing you into the carpeted wall. You both started hitting eachother. Sometimes softly, sometimes with purpose of hurting each other. 

He finally hit you in the collarbone and it hurt. You slapped him across the face. He hissed and pressed his body closer just to piss you off more. He hit your arms constantly. You used your foot and put it on his hip-bone, pushing him back. 

His arms still reached you so he grabbed your wrists, you flailing your arms with the intent of whopping him upside the head. Your cheeks became blushed and you were boiling with anger. “You’re such a handful.” he sighed, getting lost in your angry expression and useless tactics. 

“I know I’m a handful. That’s why you have two hands, dumbass.”

(RENJUN IN HATS IS A CONCEPT...FIGHT ME ON THIS OML)

_______________

LEE JENO (this one is a bit different) [Longer] (kind of carried on from Johnny’s)

You always pranked him or did something to piss him off. He loved it though. You both met in classes on base and you both made everything a competition. From doing homework to brushing teeth. He always let you win though, and at some things he didn’t need to let you win. You were fully capable of doing something and kicking ass. 

 He remembers when he made fun of people with bleached hair because you had just bleached your hair...he let his conditioner sit a little longer all night. He lifted his towel off his head to white and damaged mess. He grew to love it though. It was a thing only you guys shared. 

He waited for you outside the meeting you were called into along with 3 other boys from different tiers, talking alongside Renjun and Jungwoo. 

The door opened suddenly and you were brought out in the arms of an angry Mark. “What happened?” Jeno asked and you struggled to get free, blood pouring from your brow bone. “Let me at him. I swear I won’t kill him - this time.” You said as you were carried down the hall to the holding cell. 

Mark set you down and he came back as you threw a fit from down the hall. “I need you to make sure I don’t kill him.” Mark said as he grabbed Jeno’s and Renjun’s collars, pulling him into the room; leaving Jungwoo confused.

The 3 boys sat in a line, their heads hung low in what seemed like shame. “I got it from here. I promise.” Mark said as Taeyong walked out with Doyoung and Johnny. Mark closed the door and locked it from the inside. 

He paced around, trying to calm down. “What...happened?” Jeno asked. “Tell ‘em Minhyuck. Since you were the leader of this little operation.” Mark said and Minhyuck gulped. 

Minhyuck and Jeno were never on the best terms, so he was probably scared as the older stared him down. 

“We...we spied on y/n in the locker rooms after practice.” He said looking at his lap. “Wh-” Jeno started but was cut off. “And.” Mark spat from where he was leaned against the table. “And we took pictures of her.” Minhyuck continued quietly. “And.” Mark said louder. Jeno had his eyes fixated on Minhyuck and Minhyuck only. “And sold them to other Junior Forces outside of Neo Culture.” Minhyuck finished. 

Jeno subconsciously started cracking his knuckles on each hand, starting the younger and weaker boy down. “And once confronted with this issue, how did you react?” Mark sighed. “By hitting y/n. She would’ve gotten to me first! Be first to the hit! I did as I was taught!” Minhyuck said as he stood up, his voice rising. 

“I would suggest you sit your ass down.” Jeno spat and the younger just stared at Jeno, standing with his arms crossed on his chest. 

Jeno chuckled, “You’re adorable. Think you’re a man by doing this?” Jeno said gripping Minhyuck’s collar, laying a punch across the younger’s face. 

The room wrecked havoc. “Jeno off!” They all yelled. Jeno only saw red though. Until he felt the familiar and dainty hand touch his arm that held the boy’s collar. He looked at you in shock. 

“Jeno, let him go.” You said and like a dog, he released Minhyuck’s collar. The boy scrambled back in his seat with the rest of his friends. “Don’t hit him anymore.” You said and his vision cleared back up from the previous 1 hue clouding his vision. 

“It’s my turn.” You said and jumped on the boy. No one stopped you though as you laid hit on hit to the poor excuse of a Junior Force. You had murder in your eyes once you thought back on every painful thing you’ve learned.

Once he was gargling for air though, you were pulled off and picked up by Jeno. 

“Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma?” 

(idk why i put this gif...i like his hair lol)

______________

LEE DONGHYUCK (HAECHAN) (both of you are dating in this btw)

You always were a loving a person, unless someone decided to cross you or someone you held close. This time this person came for you. Haechan always admired your loyalty and your feisty side. It was useful at most points in the line of the work, but at other points it just made you seem adorable for some reason. 

“Spreading rumors about me? Seriously? At least you’re spreading something other than your legs.” You said as the girl took a shot at your face. “Ooo, gotta be quicker than that.” You said and she punched as you took her out from her legs. You both were on the ground. You were on top of her, punching her. She laid a few good hits as you felt the blood trickle down your cheek. People eventually began ganging up on you, but you were pretty good by yourself. People cheered and argued with eachother. 

Once they got silent, you knew who had showed up though. You were picked out of the crowd and were now standing next to Haechan who had your wrist in a death grip. “All of you are pathetic.” He said looking at everyone, including you who now hung their head. 

“No we’re not. But what’s pathetic is that the only reason y/n got into Tier one was because she’s banging half the boys there.” The girl said, refixing her ponytail. You lunged forward but he caught you before you slipped away and ended up killing the girl. 

“First off all, you know that’s not true. Second, everyone knows that she earned her position of where she is today. Third, who are you? Because you have been here the longest and I have never seen you outside of Tier 8.” Haechan said and everyone ‘ooo’ed’. “Don’t make that sound, you are at the same level as her.” He said and everyone scoffed, rolling their eyes. 

Haechan grew annoyed. “Okay. Wanna act like that to an older. Tier 9, 8, and 7: 5 laps around base then into auditorium for a long talk from Mark on respect for others. Water after talk. Go.” He said. Everyone shut up and started running. You began to run the laps but he pulls you back. “1) You aren’t even in those tiers. 2) You would only run and start another fight. 3) You’re getting that talk now.” He said picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder quickly as if you were a rag-doll. You hit hit back a couple times, but gave up. He began walking. 

“Everyone talking about me. I have a damn fan club.” You said and he laid a stinging slap to your lower thighs and you yelped. “Shut it, Twinkle Toes.” He said and you gasped. 

“If anything, I’m a stiletto in a world full of flats.”

____________

NA JAEMIN 

You both clicked extremely well. You both loved ticking each other off though. It was one of your specialties. You were super sweet and caring, but when it comes to Jaemin, you’re mean but more caring than usual. He liked it though because he was the same way. 

You walked down the hall of your classes, surrounded by some other girls of other tiers who needed advice for passing Ten or Kun’s classes. You were super compliant and sweet to them, being completely honest. You were on the way to your own classes, going to drop them all off first. 

You were about to talk when someone comes behind you and pinched the back of your neck. You coiled into your self as the sucker you had just put in your mouth was taken out. You looked to see who it was when Jaemin walked by, putting the candy into his own mouth. “Thanks babe.” He said as he stole your coffee from your hand and left with a wink. You scowled at him and cringed at the nick name.

“Waaahhh. Bonnie and Clyde of Neo Culture. Cute.” The girls gushed. You rolled your eyes, knowing this was getting out to the rest of the younger students soon. 

“Goodbye, ladies. Good luck on your tests.” You said as you rushed into your next class where Jaemin sat in his set next to yours, feet propped up onto your desk. 

You walked over, pushed his feet off and took your seat. “Sorry babe.” He said and you rolled your eyes. You got your supplies out and the bell rung. You looked to the door, waiting for the teacher to arrive as Jaemin used your Notebook to draw random images. 

Your gaze was drawn to the group of girl standing outside the door, making kiss faces and holding up finger hearts at the two of you. Jaemin saw and laughed, throwing his arm around you. “Awe look. We have fans.” He said squeezing your cheek a little. You laughed sarcastically, pinching his own cheeks. 

“The only fans you’ll have are the ones you’ll use in hell to cool down. Speaking of hell, you’ll be there in the next 5 seconds if you don’t shut up and leave me alone.” 

____________

ZHONG CHENLE

You were his escape once you two got close enough. You both were children at heart so when you guys were put on killing mission...it was...eventful. 

You both followed the subject acting as boyfriend and girlfriend. It was easy cause you both were close. You went to get ice cream because the subject got ice cream themselves. 

“One chocolate. One Strawberry, please.” Chenle ordered as you kept eyes on the subject. “Order 31!” The worker yelled. The subject was on the phone and his head perked up once it was called. “I’ll bring it to you sir!” I called, already ahead of the plan. He tried to refuse your service, but you grabbed the tray. You walked over and let the pill fall from your finger as you picked up the small bowl to set in front of him. He thanked you as you walked back to Chenle who held both the ice creams. “M’lady.” He said and handed it over to you. 

“Would you like to sit outside, honey?” You asked and he smiled, nodding. All the older adults swooned over the younger ‘couple’. You guys took it as an advantage because a super innocent and truthful looking pair could not look responsible for the dead body that would be coming about in the next 5 minutes...right?

You guys joined hands as you walked outside and he pulled his chair out for you, letting you sit down. He sat across from you and you both looked at each other. You guys linked hands on the table. You saw Jeno and Haechan walk in, making sure the job was being done correctly. Mostly because it was Jeno’s poison that you slipped in and he needed to see if it played out correctly. Haechan...that was his job...decoy.

“Hyung. Closest get away route: come out of ice-cream store. Go left and turn down 5th street. Car is waiting on 22nd street right next to the salon.” Chenle said, acting as if you were on the receiving end. “Oh! Lele! We have to go pick up my little sister from school.” You said standing up quickly. “Let’s go then. I forgot, I’m so sorry, honey.” He acted as he stood up and took your hand. The older couples onlooking were filled by cuteness overload. 

The door opened to a laughing Jeno and Haechan who didn’t pay you guys attention. You traveled in different directions of eachother. Yet before the door closed you heard the promising phrase of rushed panic. “Call an ambulance!” 

You and Chenle walked down the street hand in hand. “Mission Accomplished.” He kissed your cheek before you both turned the corner and separated quickly. 

“It was as if I was being kissed by sandpaper.”

(his reaction to your comment)

_______________

PARK JISUNG (this one is fluff i’m soooorrrrrrryy!)

You both were like Chenle. Both clicked as soon as you met and you were his escape. He has seen so much gore and blood as such a young age that having someone that can relate to him - helps. You both were put in a tough position at a young age that you guys only have eachother .. and Chenle who never leaves you both alone because he swears that you guys are secretly dating. 

You and Jisung sat on the couch in the Tier 1 dorm and had a pad of paper each with a handful of markers each. “Okay next...draw eachother.” He said and set the timer for 1 minute. You both sat there, legs entwined with each others and comfy clothes adorned both of your bodies. The thought of training and homework both escaping your minds for the moment. 

“and...done.” He said and you dropped your pen. “Okay I’ll go first.” He said turning his pad of paper around. He drew a bunny with a tutu on...holding a gun. You burst out laughing at the image as he went into detail with what his drawing represented. You turned yours around and his laughter broke the silence. You drew a big dinosaur with tiny arms, glasses, but the head was a mochi. He laughed, ripped it out and said it would hang in his room. 

You both were interrupted by Chenle, Haechan, and Jeno coming back from their mission. Chenle walked in as the others went to their room to unwind and relax probably. “Awe look at the cute couple!” He said sitting on both of your legs. You both rolled your eyes. “You guys are so cute.” He said and pinched each one of your cheeks. 

“Hyyyuuunnngggg.” Jisung whined and Chenle finally got up. “I’ll be in my room. Call if you need me.” He said walking down the hall. You guys were left alone. Jisung started putting the markers on his glasses frames. He wanted to see how many he could fit on the first rim alone. 

“I’m sleepy.” You said crawling over and nestling yourself into the crook of the couch and his body. “Goodnight, loser.” He said as he continued to put the markers on his glasses. 

You said a comment that made him take his glasses off, put them on the table, and took your position to an advantage to tickle you.

“I would slap you but that would be animal abuse.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I personally like this version better than he first one I did...my opinion though. Eh, this was supposed to be up on New Year’s Day...but it’s 1:04 on January 2nd...it’s okay though...Deep breaths right??

Send in your requests please! 

With Love and Best Wishes for the New Year 2019, ~J

[resetmypatientviolence]

Caught (Drake x MC x Liam) [NSFW]

This is the prologue of a prologue, to a series I will be doing with my Poly!Au Drake x Jaela x Liam, tentatively titled as “Repercussions”. Release date TBD. I need a real plot first. It’s angsty.

Pairing/Characters: Drake x Jaela x Liam / Guest star: Damien Nazario

Word Count: 4,160

Rating: VERY NSFW

Warnings: Language, NSFW, Threesome, Exhibitionism-ish

Song Suggestion: While We’re Young-- Jhené Aiko

Description: The job was supposed to begin in two weeks, not tonight. But, it is. During his stakeout of the Drake “Smith”, and Jaela and Liam “Davis”, Damien gets a show he didn’t expect. He also didn’t expect to care for how... happy they are. 

Note: After the Bloodbound scene, I wanted to write a PWP threesome and asked @boneandfur if she had any requests, as a thanks for letting me join in on the Daniel NSFW Alphabet. Her requests were: “The first one to come loses.”, “Do you like it when he watches?”, and that it’s in NYC and Damien’s doing a stakeout. I may have failed on the PWP content... but I think I delivered on the specifics. As per usual, NSFW content is under the cut and it is tagged long post. MASTERLIST

The job wasn’t supposed to begin for another two weeks. And it was supposed to be a hunt. Not… this, a surprise call from the boss in the middle of dinner telling him to get his ass in the field.

 But with the money being offered, he obliged, stake-out bag around his shoulder in minutes and out the door he was, tracking the trio. Dinner and a bar down, they’re in the street—and she’s nearly skipping, kissing between the two men—then the men often kissing each other, freely. All three ignore the looks of others. His heart sinks.

 So different from the last time he was paid to do this, watching the King and the American suitor. Last time, even he could sense the tension. But now… it’s gone. They’re so happy and in love and—“Yeah, they’re headed to the hotel,” he says, pressing the earpiece. “The same one the last time I had to stake them out.”

 “Predictable idiots. Still have money, somehow, too,” says his boss and he grits his teeth. “Keep an eye on them Nazario. They’re not getting away, again. Cordonia’s paying me—us—too much to let the man who ruined it get away with it.”

 Damien shakes his head, keeping his binoculars trained the three. They’re so, so happy.

 “Sure thing, boss.”

 Jaela’s almost drunk, that’s for fucking sure, but she doesn’t care. She grips Drake’s collar, New York sewage past them, and pulls him into a hot, open-mouthed kiss in the middle of the gum-stuck sidewalk. He kisses back, and Liam chuckles as his hand glides across their backs, directing them close to a wall. “You know we’re almost to the hotel, you two,” he says, eyeing Jaela’s calf, one wrapped around Drake’s.

 She so loose, and free, and Liam loves seeing her like this. She’s always at the edge of tense in Washington. He knows it’s because she’s trying to protect the kids—and her unchanging reputation, even of the town was starting to… accept their relationship, in a way—but still, she’s been laughing this entire trip. “Oh, I know,” she says, leaving Drake’s arms for Liam’s.

 Drake rubs his lips, tasting like her wine, watching them kiss. His dick twitches. Oh, he knows this night will be just the others on the vacation. He can’t fucking wait. Drake glances up, noticing a weird glint in the distance. What was—and then, Liam’s lips are on his, Jaela ducking her head between them, giggling. “Hot,” she whispers, then gasps—their teeth nipping at each other’s lips as she pulls out her phone, brown eyes wide. “We’ve got to call the kids!”

 The men laugh and pull apart, their arms around her back as they walk to the hotel, faces flush with alcohol, each other, and the feeling of being free, joy. “This is such a fucking great vacation. It’s been so long. We… we needed it,” Liam sighs as Jaela pokes at the phone, squinting her eyes.

 Drake takes it from her, rolling his eyes, pressing the right button to dial the one person they trusted in that town to watch the kids. Tomás insisted he should have a phone, but all three vetoed that. “You two lived in Miami for a few years… how much more vacation can you—”

 “Oh, you know that wasn’t one,” Jaela snapped, nudging her hip against his.

 “Not even a full two,” Liam says, nails grazing along her tailbone. “Besides—”

 “Hi Tomás!” Jaela says, maybe a bit too loudly and Liam and Drake wince. Liam knows Tomás is too, back in Washington.

 “Hi Mo—”

 “Hi Momma! Hi Dad! Li!”

“Mom! Dad! Papa!” Their hearts all warm at the children’s greeting, Allie and James the two youngest, talking fast about their days. Tomás isn’t much older, but he’s tall, and they all know he’s holding the phone above them, sighing.

 “Ooh, we miss you too, little loves,” Jaela sighs. Drake kisses her cheek, he loves seeing her love for them, and they chat for a few minutes, tucked into an alley outside of their hotel. “Love you all, okay? We’ll be home soon.”

 “Sleep tight—James, don’t forget the brush twice,” Drake says.

 “Be good, you three. Love you all,” Liam says and they hang up. Jaela sniffs.

 “I… I miss them.”

“We’ll be home safe in two days, love.” Liam kisses her cheeks and she sighs, sinking into his gentle embrace. Until—

 “Drake!” He grins, scooping her up in his arms. She’s laughing again and both men are happy with that. They’d do anything to see her smile like that… and moan their names.

 “We’ll see them soon. But for tonight…” Drake whispers in her ear, not caring about the stares at the three of them as they enter to hotel lobby. “Just think about the three of us. I wanna hear you scream our names again.”

 Jaela flushes, warmth pooling deep in her abdomen—and god, it takes the longest time to reach their room, high above, all three thankful for three separate incomes to make this vacation a little venture in the luxury they were so used to, before.

 Damien adjusts the long-range lens, licking his lips. He has a view right into their room, curtains open when they stumble in. He taps the earpiece twice, and it switches to the channel of the bug in the room.

 “Please just go to sleep, please just got to sleep…” he whispers. But, when the man—Drake, nearly throws Jaela on the bed, climbing over her, showering—no, devouring—her with hot, open mouth kisses, already pushing up her already short dress, he knows they won’t.

 Liam carefully pulls out three glasses and pours whiskey, leaning on the bar, watching to two kiss, grabbing onto each other like high schoolers—except…. “Oh fuck,” Damien groans when his dick, unmistakably twitches when her thong comes off, landing at Liam’s feet. “Goddamn it.” As much as he wants this to just be a stakeout, gathering intel, and keeping an eye on them—Liam and Jaela “Davis” and Drake “Smith”—something stirs in him, something primal, and…. Damien shifts, leaning forward as Jaela looks at Liam, pushing Drake’s head down her body, beckoning him with a finger, her gasp coming through the earpiece when Drake shoves up her dress, mouth on her--

 “I propose a game.”

 “Oh fuck me.”

 “Is—now—the right… oh fuck, Drake!” Jaela gasps, fingers twisting his hair as swirls in tongue on her clit, then slides it down between her folds, locking eyes with Liam, who loosens his tie, pupils expanding at the sight of Drake and Jaela.

 “I think it’s the perfect time.” Liam sips his whiskey. “Drake, stop.”

 Drake emits a low moan, shutting his eyes. Jaela shivers at the vibration. Languidly, Drake removes his tongue, licking every last drop of her he could manage and stands up, pulling back down her dress. Jaela props herself on her elbows, breathing heavy—already—a small pout that both men love on her lips. “I thought you had your fun of being dom last night, Liam,” Drake complains, but is silenced by Liam kissing him hard, tongue immediately in his mouth, the taste of Jaela shared between them. She whistles, the sight always so fucking sexy to her.

 Liam tugs on Drake’s lower lip before parting, eyes opening at the same time. “But you listened,” he whispers and Drake shivers. He couldn’t deny that dominant Liam was hot as all hell, and he didn’t want the kiss the end, pulling his hips flush against Liam’s when they part.

 “Okay,” Drake says. Jaela bites her lip, looking at the obvious arousal from the men. “What’s this game of yours?” They part and Drake retrieves the two whiskeys Liam poured, handing one to Jaela on the bed. She sits up, sliding the edge and crosses her legs, pussy slick. “And if—” Drake turns to Liam, pointing a finger, sipping the whiskey in his pause. “It’s any form of Truth or Dare, I’m just going to bed with earplugs so you two can fuck.”

 Jaela raises an eyebrow, pointedly uncrossing her legs. Drake coughs, whiskey burning his throat at the sight. Damn, she has a way with him. “Yeah, I’m calling your bluff.” Liam takes off his tie, it landing next to Jaela thong in the suite, a sparkle behind his eye. “Liam, what’s this… game?” Typically, he was the one who proposed their games, or scenarios, or… anything else that came to his fancy. Neither Drake or Jaela minded, they always wanted to go along for the ride. Literally. The all too familiar thrill of curiosity and excitement flowed through her, as it had been since… since basically the moment they touched down in New York.

 Liam threw back the last of his whiskey, then held both of their gazes, smirking, cock twitching just at the thought. “First one to come loses,” he says, setting down the glass on the bar while Jaela coughs and Drake’s eyebrows shoot up. “Does that appease you, Drake?”

“What happens to the loser?” Drake asks, taking off his tie as well, it joining the thong and other tie.

 Jaela’s heart pounds when Liam joins her on the bed, coming from behind her, nimble hands running along her collarbone, applying just enough pressure to make her moan, quietly, throwing her head back, lips at her ear, tongue tracing the delicate cartilage before he speaks again, voice low, the hair on the back of her—and Drake’—neck rising. “They’ll get to watch the other two,” he starts.

 “That doesn’t seem much like a punishment.”

 Liam slides the straps of her dress off her shoulders, blue eyes darkening every single excruciating second the longer they waited for that release all three were simply—begging—to have.

 Four, with Damien’s dick straining against his jeans.

 Drake downs his drink and takes Jaela’s from her. In a second, he’s on his knees, kissing up her legs, his stubble only adding to her pleasure, building second by second. She whimpers. Liam’s chuckle is warm, Jaela feeling it on the skin of her shoulder. “Oh, but there’s no touching allowed. Otherwise, you won’t be able to come again until Washington.”

 “Punishment within a punishment—I like it,” says Drake before returning his mouth to her sex, but Jaela pushes his head back—no matter how fucking good his tongue felt slipping into her-- glaring at Liam.

 “No fair! You two are just going to pull this bullshit—”

Drake’s intoxicated by her dripping before him, so he can’t help but run his hands along her inner thighs, one finger pressing on her clit, smirking at her squirm, Liam unzipping the back of her dress and then pushing it down as Drake pushes up the bottom, the short blue thing bunched around her waist, eyes trained on each other. “You certainly don’t seem to think this is bullshit, love,” Liam says, pinching her nipples at the same time, thumbs grazing the pebbled skin.

 Jaela sucks in a breath. “You both know you can get me to come in like… five minutes flat—and while I love watching you two—” God, it kills her to stand up, but she does, taking Drake’s chin in her hand. He removes his finger, eyes wide. She smirks. “—Let’s make this a fair game, shall we, Liam?”

 Liam licks his lips, hands on her hips, pushing the dress past her hips and it drops to the floor, Jaela nor Liam taking their eyes off Drake. He likes where this is going. “Let’s.”

 Damien taps the earpiece, connecting with his boss again, eyes wide. When he adjusts himself, his own hand can’t help but linger, wanting that release. “Boss, you, uh sure I need to be listening in—”

 “Yes. You’re not getting paid to take notes and then doze off. You’re lucky we found them and you didn’t even need to do the groundwork. Fucking pay attention, Nazario.”

 And the boss is gone… and slowly, Damien taps back into the bug, cursing when there’s music now. When did they put some on? How did they find the time, tearing off Liam’s and Drake’s clothing, hands and skin and lips barely leaving each other?

 Still, he can hear them… and he’s unwittingly memorized when Jaela straddles Drake’s hips, then pushes him down with a finger, crawling over his body on bed, legs on either side of his head, lowering her pussy to him and Drake, licking, eagerly, and she moves her hips, her moans cutting over the music.

 “You’re playing a dangerous game, love. I thought you wanted to win—”

 “You’re the one that showed us how far we can take it,” Jaela pants, removing her hands from Drake’s abdomen to kiss Liam, joining the two on the bed. Fuck, that’s hot. This all is. Damien gulps as Liam kisses down her body… and onto Drake, planting kisses across his chest, stomach, lingering at the hipbones before he grips his shaft and takes him in his mouth, fully, wasting no time, no tease.

 Damien nearly drops the camera, cursing, loudly.

 He can’t say this is the worst thing he’s seen while on a stakeout.

 It’s the hottest, but was he supposed to be turned on by the people he was paid to… help ruin their happy, lovely life? Even though the thought of what he’s hired to do crosses his mind, nothing can stop the raging hard on and pure desire as he watches Jaela rides Drake’s mouth, Liam sucking Drake’s dick, Jaela and Liam holding a hand, one to support her. There’s no right or wrong in the moment. It’s just… wow.

 Drake holds her thighs, lips covered with her, sweet and musky and salty all at once, knowing her tells, how she quivers—almost—

 And she moves forward, off his mouth, pulling Liam off his dick—Drake groaning at the wonders Liam’s tongue does, swirling around the head before he kisses Jaela, squeezing her breast. Drake watches their kiss, coming down from his almost orgasm himself—shivering when Jaela rolls her hips on him, spreading her wetness on his stomach—he can feel how hot she is, pulsing--, their kiss sloppy and wet. Drake groans.

 Liam says, breathless between kisses, “I didn’t think it’d be this easy to win.” Though, his dick is rock hard and locking eyes with Jaela as she rode Drake’s face while his length was in his mouth, pre-cum beading every few seconds, almost set him off a few times… but they didn’t need to know that.

 As much as he loves fucking them together or not, lost in the moment of pure, free passion, the world, their past, his worries, falling to side as he loves them, as they deserve to be, he also loves competition and winning, too. And he’s not losing this one.

 Jaela breaks the kiss when Drake squeezes her ass, looking behind her, grinning devilishly. Drake returns it, no words needed for their plan. Liam catches her smile and pulls her closer before lifting her up, her legs around his waist, her pussy on his dick. Fuck, that feels good, and he’s not even in her. “What are you two…”

 Drake’s up, his arms supporting Jaela too, and she mewls, leaning back into him, eyes shut as a hand winds around to her chest, roughly kneading her breast. Liam watches, eyes nearly black, as they kiss—goosebumps rising, lips and tongue meeting in a harmony he’s watched countless times. Liam’s and Drake’s dicks twitch and Jaela shudders as she feels it happen, hot, hot heat burning in her. Ooh, this trip was a good fucking idea.

 “Liam,” Jaela says, breaking the kiss, eyes bright. Drake separates from Jaela, and Liam’s hold tightens on her, heart racing in anticipation as Drake walks behind him, sliding them down his back, then gripping his hips… one slipping his front. “I want you to fuck me against the window.”

 “And Drake?” He whispers, as Drake kisses the back of his neck, running a finger up his shaft, stopping when he hit Jaela’s clit. All three shiver, electricity running throughout every nerve.

 “You know you love surprises, my King.”

 “My… fucking… King?” Damien nearly pants, palming himself through the jeans, desperate to feel some relief without, ah, how should he say it? Pulling out his dick and jacking off to the three, a trio—in a different world, oh a different fucking world—he’d be more than happy to take home together after bar close, pulling all close to him, kissing and fucking senseless. But that wasn’t that world.

 This was this.

 And him trying reach some satisfaction as he watches Liam set her down, turn her around, whispering in her ear, and then placing his hands over hers on the window—directly facing him—and then enters her, their moans louder than the music in that moment—is definitely not going into the notes.

 What was… would be their apparent pet name for him, lost in the moment, Liam thrusting, their fingers splayed, as Drake went to a bag off to the side. What was? “Oh… oh my god,” Damien gulps. My King. Why would they still call him my King? Was it a joke to them at what they—

 As if on its own accord, Damien unzips his fly. One less layer of fabric for his dick to be confined by. No, this wasn’t going into the notes. He focuses the lens again, drawing a sharp intake of breath when Drake returns, dropping to his knees behind his King.

 Jaela moans, hands pressed hard against the chill glass. Liam’s removes his from hers and grips her hips. He moves to touch her clit, and she quickly smacks his hand away, shooting a playful glare. “I’m not losing.”

 “Just because you can’t… come until we get back doesn’t mean you’ll be w-without pleasure, love.”

 She moves her hips back and Liam throws his head back, swallowing hard, looking up at the light. “Just keep fucking me.”

 “Of course, my Qu—” He’s cut off when Drake’s finger, gently, carefully, and lubed, enters his puckered hole and Liam slows his pace with Jaela, curling his fingers, blinking rapidly as Drake works, smirking.

 “You’ve… rendered him speechless, Drake,” Jaela breathes, hair falling over her shoulder. She looks outside, the city bright—oh how she missed the city, being in a small, judgmental… but safe… town.

 “Mm… he does talk too much sometimes.”

 “Hey!”

 Drake inserts another finger and stands up, gripping Liam’s arm, lips at his neck, licking the salt off of it. “Not a bad thing, my King… but… it’s fucking hot when we make you feel so good that you’re speechless.”

 Jaela giggles, focusing on first their reflection in the glass—god, it was damn hot—and then to the building across the way… and the weird glint. She narrows her eyes and Liam curses, Drake’s fingers being replaced with his dick, Liam stilling as Drake enters him, all three panting in the pause.

 There—she sees it. The glint again… and the figure behind it, nearly a shadow. What was that? A camera? Binoculars? Oh, logic and reason tells her that they need to shut the curtains and continue this without the potential onlooker. But… how could logic and reason exist when Liam thrusts into her, long and deep, filling her so completely, as Drake does the same to him, the three moving in tandem in a position that took many tries to perfect?

 In fact, it thrills her… probably thanks to Liam.

 Damien’s thinking the same thing too, long and reason long gone, as she looks directly up at him. He should duck, stop, but he can’t only watching, ready to burst. Besides, she can’t see his face.

 “Liam… Drake—” She gasps, Liam and Drake both grunting behind her. “There’s somebody—somebody watching—”

 Drake bites Liam’s shoulder, dragging his nails along his side. Liam inhales, reaching a hand around to Jaela’s nub—only this time—she didn’t push his hand away, still looking up a the figure. He raises his eyes too, mind swirling with the thrill of exhibitionism, Drake’s dick—pulling out till the head, then sliding in, stretching him--, and how fucking wet Jaela his, his fingers barely able to rub her clit with how slick she is. “Oh… should we move, love?”

 Jaela doesn’t respond, only pants, every nerve consumed in a delicious, thick, and lust fueled fire. Liam manages a half chuckle, looking where she is—and he spots the glint and the figure. Liam moans, scratching her back, pounding harder into her. Okay, it’s fucking hot. It just is. He has his kinks. So, he says nothing, just focusing on how tight and wet her pussy is, how Drake feels in him, and how he’s not going to lose, even if he wants to come right then and there.

 There’s no thrill of exhibitionism for Drake, but he’s not in a position to stop this, ready to come at any moment. But… he doesn’t want to lose, either. Jaela’s hands curl into fists on the window and Drake looks too, seeing the same glint and shadow. His mind wants to scream, you need to stop—now—and get back home but it’s silenced by the pure ecstasy of fucking them, Liam’s body slick with sweat under his hands, bruises forming where Drake kissed his shoulders and back. Drake kisses Liam’s ear, running his tongue along the lobe, Liam jerking in response, pushing Jaela forward at the intensity of his thrust. He’s close, so close—they all are-- but…

 “Do you like it when he watches?”

 “Fuck—Drake—”

 That’s what does it for Liam, completely coming undone at Drake’s words, breath hot, spilling inside Jaela mid-thrust. Drake stops, holding him as he comes, shuddering and cursing. Jaela, finally, tears her eyes from the potential onlooker, and looks behind her, Drake kissing Liam’s cheek while winking at her. She grins.

 “Mission accomplished, Abdi.”

 “I hate losing,” Liam groans, removing himself from Jaela when Drake does from him. Jaela giggles, cupping his face in her hands, bringing him down for a kiss when Drake heads to the bathroom, readying for round two… even though neither of them finished round one.

 She peppers him with kisses, bouncing on her toes and he laughs, wrapping his arms around her. “I have a new game.”

 “Yeah?”

 “Drake and I will see if we can make you come without any touching. Think you’re up for it?”

 Liam nips her lips and nods, Drake returning. Their hearts pound, Drake’s dick stirs at the show he’s about to put on for Liam with Jaela. But first… he shuts the curtains, glancing around the room. Everything seemed in place. Good. “Curtains closed, this time, Abdi.”

 “Aww…”

 Drake pulls her into his arms and Liam heads to the bathroom, dimming the lights on the way. He knows what Drake likes.

 “You won’t need to be seen to come the hardest you ever have, anyways.”

 “Oh fuck me!” Damien shuts off the earpiece, setting down the camera, zipping his fly. He was going to lose it. Almost did. No doubt Drake and Jaela would win at their game—the three of them almost did for him. He exhales, running and hand down his face.

 There were larger issues than the most obvious, his dick. It would be handled soon. They… knew he was watching. Not who he was. But… would this make it harder for him? He hoped not. He didn’t want this to be painful as it could be. He knows that they’re not done, but he can’t listen in, no, not anymore. They’re good people.

 So, after a swig of water, adjusting himself, pacing around, he connects with the boss, again. “So, Nazario, any intel?”

 “I’ll have to record the notes and go through the recording. But… nothing of use I think, boss. They went to sleep after watching Netflix,” he says, teeth clenched. “Talked about favorite shows and shit.”

 “Yeah, I’m sure. They had a reputation in Cordonia. I’m sure you enjoyed the show. Audio or visual or both?”

 “I told the truth,” he snaps.

 The boss sighs. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter. They’ll be happy to know that this is happening ahead of schedule. Keep an eye on them, Nazario. Pack your bags and start looking at some penthouses. They’ll be a big bonus our way if this works in our favor, you hear?”

 Damien swallows hard and the boner finally lessens at the thought of the plan. God. This sucks. “They’re… so happy though,” he says aloud and the boss laughs. Shit. He didn’t mean to say that. “Uh…”

 “Happiness doesn’t matter. Do your job. Right this time, Nazario.”

Disclaimer: All characters and rights belong to Pixelberry Studios.

Permatag/Tag list: @youwontlikewherewewillgo, @ashtonmore, @mfackenthal, @jadedpixiescribbles @enmchoices @debramcg1106 @hhiggs @bobasheebaby

[2s0uls]

One More Light

Title: One More Light

Prompt: “Your body is not a reason to put your life on hold.”

Pairing: Platonic Loki x Plus Sized Reader

Word Count: 1538

Warning: Angst with a bit of fluff?

Summary: A night out at the Karaoke bar with the team leads the Reader into a bit of a slump. Loki lights a fire under them.

A/N:  Hi everyone!! This is my entry for @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan ​‘s Full Figured Fantasy challenge. I feel a bit rusty writing because the last thing I wrote was almost 10 years ago! Thank you @iamartemisday for making sure I didn't miss anything. I am eternally grateful.

     Steve has watched out for you long before your grandmother had passed. Being a friend of your great-grandmother’s, once Steve had thawed from the ice, he searched for her in hopes of having a familiar face to help him through these changes of time. It was when he had showed up at your home that your grandmother told you who Steve was. During that initial visit, Steve had found out that his friend Marion, your great- grandmother, had passed away in 2003. Since then, he had taken it upon himself to visit you and your grandmother up until the day she died. Three months after the fall of SHIELD and your grandmother’s death, Steve had proposed becoming your guardian since you were a minor and had no other family. Accepting his offer had led you to where you are living now. The Tower was magnificent inside and out; you stated as such when you had moved in. When you had turned 18, Tony quickly hired you to help him in the lab and maintaining everyone's equipment since you were already doing that since your last year in highschool.

     Today was a rare occurrence for the team because everyone was back from their various missions. On days like this, Tony  would set up an event to help everyone relax, be it bowling or going to a karaoke bar. Tonight, Tony had picked karaoke, though you had mixed feelings about it. Everytime, you would go because the team was the closest thing to a family you have had in years but you would never go on stage to sing. You had carried many insecurities (most of which Steve or Bucky tried to help you with) that wreaked havoc through your mind. You stand at 5’6” and weighed just enough to give you quite a few curves. You were ashamed of how you looked because of all the negativity in your mind that had taken on the voices of your past tormentors.

     I want to get up there too, but who would want to watch a fat ass like me? That one thought was almost constant in your mind as you watched Natasha from the bar as she nailed another song with ease. Your rum and coke sat nearly untouched when that bartender came around to ask if everything was alright. Nodding absentmindedly, you continued to watch as Clint went next with a sweet country song you thought was for his wife. Out of the corner of your eye, a gentleman dressed in a forest green suit sat beside you.

     “Y/N.” Loki said almost too softly for you to hear.

     “Yes?”

     “The longer you look at them with that scowl, they would think you hated being here.”

     “It’s not that,” you replied. “I just don’t think they would want me to go up there. Besides, it hit me before we left what today was.”

     “And what is today?” Loki inquired, watching you with interest. You sighed and shook your head gently because today was important to you and it saddens you when it comes around every year. You were vaguely aware that Sam had gotten on stage and sang some pop song you’ve heard almost 9 times a day, every day for that past month and a half. You were too caught up in your self hatred that was spurred on by your already dismal thoughts.

     “My grandmother died 10 years ago today. When I look at all the fun everyone is having, I would like to join in. I used to sing years ago but I haven't sang since she died. Besides I am too fat anyways. Who would want to watch me?” Your bitterness caught Loki off guard. You were typically a cheery person when you were around him once you decided that he wasn't as bad as everyone thought. He knew you had your insecurities because they would surface when Steve or Tony was gone on a mission and Loki was around the tower, but he never heard that offhand remark come from you before.

     “Y/N, I don't know who told you that you couldn't sing because of your body shape, but I want you to listen me now. Your body is not a reason to put your life on hold. You are magnificent in all you do. Your mind is as sharp as my daggers. You care for all those around you, even putting them in their place if the need arises. Thor adores you. Steven and James see you as their little sister. Tony sees you as his daughter.” You looked at Loki before glancing over to where Steve and Bucky were laughing at an inside joke that was probably older than you. Pepper was with Tony at another table talking with Rhodes and Bruce. Natasha was next to Steve, talking to Clint, Wanda, and Vision. Scott Lang was somewhere around here but you weren’t certain where. Thor made his way to the stage once Sam had finished and reclaimed his seat next to Bucky. You assumed the song Thor was trying to sing was an song from his youth, but you weren't certain.  “Y/N, You have the courage to rival that buffoon who is butchering Mother’s favorite song. If Thor can do this, surely you can, Y/N/N. I believe you can do this. If you need to, look only at me. Focus on me and I will help you through this.”

     “Loki-”

     “I will tolerate no excuse, Y/N. Go up there and sing or I will drag you up there myself. Sing for your grandmother. Sing your grief and remember you are not alone,” Loki rebuked.  With a huff, you finished off your drink before glaring that him.

     “Fine! You want me to sing, I will. I doubt it would be good but who cares,” you fumed when he cut you off. You stomped off to the side of the stage, telling the DJ what song you would like to sing. You waited for Thor to finish his caterwauling rendition before you took your spot. Taking in deep breaths to calm down as you tried not to freeze on stage, the first few notes of one of your favorite songs started to play. You looked at Loki as you started to sing.

     “Should have stayed, were the signs, I ignored?

      Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?

      We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep

      There are thing we can have, but can't keep

      If they say

      Who cares if one more light goes out?

      In the sky of a million stars

      It flickers, flickers

      Who cares if someone’s time runs out?

      If a moment is all we are

      We’re quicker, quicker

      Who cares if one more light goes out?

      Well I do”

As you sang the first chorus, everyone you knew quieted down and watched you gain confidence with each passing second. However, you didn't focus on them. You watched Loki smirking from the bar. Your anger at him slowly dissipated as you continued to sing.

     “The reminders pull the floor from your feet

      In the kitchen, one more chair than you need

      Oh, and your angry, and you should be, it’s not fair

      Just ‘cause you cant see it, doesnt mean it isn't there

      If they say

      Who cares if one more light goes out?

      In the sky of a million stars

      It flickers, flickers

      Who cares if someone’s time runs out?

      If a moment is all we are

      We’re quicker, quicker

      Who cares if one more light goes out?

      Well I do

      Who cares if one more light goes out?

      In the sky of a million stars

      It flickers, flickers

      Who cars if someone’s time runs out?

      If a moment is all we are

      We’re quicker quicker

      Who cares if one more light goes out?

      Well I do

      Well I do”

     As you sang the last notes, Steve had gotten up and walked to the stage. He gave you a hug as you cried. Your grief had eased some and your self loathing got knocked down a peg by what you did. Once your tears stopped a little, Steve let you go only for you to be hugged by everyone you cared about. Loki stood beyond the others, watching as you realized that everyone here loved you immensely and were proud of you for going up there. Once the hugging and the tears ebbed, he walked over to you with a knowing smile.

     “I told you you could do this, Y/N. Like I said, your body is not be a reason to put your life on hold.” Loki said. “If you want to sing, then sing. There was a Midgardian poet who said something I would think fits this situation. ‘Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.’ ”

     “Did you just quote Shakespeare to me?” You asked in disbelief. Loki had never showed interest in Earth’s literature in the past, but it seemed that you are finding more about him every time you saw him. “ You got me to go out there and sing. Buy me another drink, and I might go again,” you said with a smile.

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @interestedbystanderwrites​ for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Cass, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

Ha! I was a teenager and it was Backstreet Boys – and smut didn’t exist the same way it does now but that’s another opinion for another day. What I wrote then was cutesy and romantic, probably because that was what I was daydreaming about, I guess. Just a reminder that my blog is NSFW if you’re under 18.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I think I can get more depth from an OC but you also risk the Mary-Sue and you may pigeonhole your OC in race, sexuality etc. That can really open a can of worms with the reader, which is wholly understandable. Reader inserts are great in the way you can make it 100% person to the reader. They should imagine themselves (if that’s their choice) and not feel that the writer has alienated them in any way somehow but it is still difficult to please everybody.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I like fluff – I like things that make you smile at the end, give the reader a little cuddle to maybe brighten their day.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

One that never made my masterlist – a Spider-Man super angst titled “How Long Do You Want to be Loved?”. I thought it as okay, pretty good even – but I guess people just want Bucky or Sebastian smut haha I hear you all!

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Morning when the little guy is napping ☺ Evening is hard because it’s when I play adulting catch up… or try not to fall asleep on the couch.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

I have a very overactive imagination, always have. And for most of my fics, I guess it’s pretty obviously the beautiful aesthetics of Sebastian Stan and to a lesser extent, Bucky Barnes.

7) In your Time Only Flies When You’re Around Series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Chapters 27 and 28 of TOFWYA – more so 28 as you get a pretty interesting insight into Sasha’s and Sebastian’s ways of coping when they’re out of sync. Long story short, they’re a mess.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Luckily – none! The joys of a smolblog maybe?

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

I love writing for Buckster – he’s a complex devil and has a lot of layers to work with and a body to die for. Thumbs up for the material, Sebastian.

10) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

As per mentioned before – Peter Parker. That fic scarred me.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Time Only Flies When You’re Around Series?

It’s actually a song lyric as are the first few chapter titles: Belinda Carlisle – Valentine

I made a rule about you, I made a plan // For getting my feet back on the ground // Bury my face in clouds, for hours on end // But time only flies when you're around

12) How did you come up with the idea for the Time Only Flies When You’re Around Series?

I was just writing some stuff, pissfarting around and all of a sudden I’d written something similar to what Chapter 22 ended up being and that’s how it all began. 150k words of nonsense really.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Many – but there is a long Bucky multichap fic that deserves more of my attention. As his story has evolves via MCU, the story has changed a little.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I write one shots to TOFWYA, I don’t think I could write the sequel to it though. I’ve considered a full fic for Take Me to the Water but I doubt I will for an AU. Any sequels will be little one shots so at this stage, there is nothing planned.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

I ended Next Year very kitsch – I regret the last sentence as it currently is: You gave him a small smile, overwhelmed by his words. “I love you too, Bucky Barnes.” Blurgh.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

How much time do you have for me to talk about @whostheblondegirlwriting​? Truly. My fandom soul mate. We are separated by far too many kilometres and time zones, but between her job and me mummying, we’re chatting at all hours of the day. She is a true gem and I adore her.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Luckily, it’s not available on A03 or Tumblr, but it’s still online elsewhere because I thought about it a few weeks ago – it was a Lords of Dogtown fic… and it was not good. Saying that, anything before that I would cringe at anything I’d written anyway ha!

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Definitely music or the sound of the baby monitor that I find quite soothing.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Argh. “How Long Do You Want to be Loved” messed me up. Too many parental feels.

20) Which part of your Time Only Flies When You’re Around Series was the hardest to write?

The proposal. I went over it a thousand times. I thought, should it be romantic, should it be grand, should it be this or that? How it happened, just a couple in love, in the city they love, being themselves just seemed to fit when it finally came together.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I occasionally outline – but mostly I just write, write, write and then start toying with it afterwards. I’m constantly chopping and changing, but I’m not pedantic about planning. It isn’t that kind of fic. Other multichaps I put a bit more planning and emphasis on.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

You’re only as good as your last fic and its reblogs. If you’re going to get hung up on likes/reblogs/comments, you’ll never publish something again. But it can be bloody disheartening at times.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Time Only Flies When You’re Around? Haha busted my ass on that beast for over a year. It has the hits but likes and comments are encouraging when received. When. I always considered publishing it on Tumblr, but I don’t know. It’s freely available on A03.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Smut talks – I think Heatstroke is a little silly. But it gets hits.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Nope – any characters, inc OC’s are all fictional. I don’t know if I could handle people in my real life if they were like my OC’s!

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Any body that takes the time to leave a ‘yes!’, ‘omg’ to paragraphs of reiterating your story back to you – it’s amazing! Taking the time to leave a writer a comment makes our day.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

It still makes me laugh when I read it, not quite verbatim but it was along the lines of ‘I loved this fic but it’s gone a total 180. I’ll see how you continue but you know, I’m probably out of here’. While I know you can’t please anyone, it’s a strange comment. I’m old enough to appreciate constructive criticism. This was neither here nor there, but still hilarious!

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Back to my love, @whostheblondegirlwriting, we’re constantly taunting the other or beta’ing each others stuff when we have time to help the other (let alone write our own stuff!).

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

In real life? No. On this hellsite? I have made some amazing writing friends!

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

Ollie in TOFWYA – she’s a completely stereotypical New Yorker, brash, in your face and on the other hand, Sasha’s best friend in the world and they’d do anything for each other. If you knew Ollie in real life, you’d absolutely hate her.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

People simply enjoying your work and letting you know is the most amazing aphrodisiac. I’ll never stop writing – whether it’s for myself or for other people to enjoy. Don’t ever be scared to let a writer know if you’ve enjoyed their work or if you haven’t, a writer should be able to accept your constructive criticism and will probably appreciate your feedback if you take the time to provide it respectfully! If you’re going to go on anon and talk shit, just don’t bother. It’s boring, childish and completely unoriginal. Shows true testament to your personality offline.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Friends to Lovers. THEY WERE FRIENDS AND NOW THEY ARE… LOVERS!

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Not a clue – but will assume it’s Backstreet Boys-related!

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Smut will get you the hits but fluff is forever.

[yakumtsaki]

Well, well, well, look who’s back with the most morally repugnant update in Union history. Me. It’s been a very productive summer of Netflix, chill and giving wrong directions to tourists but all good things must come to an end. Also coming to an end is my ill-fated attempt to kill Max, who, after refusing to eat the cake FOR 2 FUCKING DAYS is finally released from the cage of death. Honestly, I’m impressed, Max, you’re definitely not as stupid as you look.

-Yea, I get that a lot.

I doubt that but whatever, now gtfo and I better not see your Komei-clone ass around Jojo ever again or it’s back in prison for you!

-So, Jojo, not that we’re not all extremely invested in the excruciating selection process of your husband, but are you any closer to picking one?? I mean I love this whole commune thing we have going but the constant food delivery for 8 is killing us.

-We’re afraid not, dear brother, it’s starting to look like no one in this world is worthy of our majesty.

Ugh are we really doing royal ‘we’ now? Is this what this has come to?

-Yes, college has really helped develop our sense of self-worth.

How can it be self-worth if you’re ‘we’?

-This is exactly the kind of idiotic questioning that would get you eliminated from the suitor process. 

Oh, perish the thought! And miss out on this classical-music-dick-measuring-contest you have them doing?

-Ew seriously, Francis, Vivaldi? Why don’t you turn up to Justin Bieber while you’re at it.

Man, what a zinger! Good times. JOJO PICK A FUCKING DUDE ALREADY SO I CAN MOVE THE OTHERS OUT THE LOT IS LAGGY AS SHIT

-I lost the dick measuring contest and my punishment is sleeping on the couch.

KILL HIM IN HIS SLEEP MELODY

-Maybe later, Real Housewives of Pleasantview is on, Cassandra is getting dragged for the pigtails!!

-Ha, look at this Vivaldi-listening losér! Point at him and laugh, everyone!

-Who’s laughing now, bitch? Not you with that hoof right in your French-whore mouth!

-Ugh, aren’t you late for the beans-on-toast feast, you limey piece of merde?

Not since the 100 Years War have French-British tensions ran this high. Of course that one was for a throne, while this one..

-Is for something far more important.. Our heart.

LMAO Jojo please be serious, you don’t have a heart.

-We absolutely do and it’s made out of pure gold.

Yea I guess, I mean gold is a metal after all! 

-Do you really think you should be eating decaying Chinese food, mon cheri? You’re going to need a soda to digest it and you know it’s too cold for your teeth!

-Wyatt, I don’t pay you to think, I pay you to sit across from me and look pretty, and occasionally to scooch down next to me so I look taller.

-You actually don’t pay me at all.

-Yes and obviously I’m getting my money’s worth.

Wow Jojo tone it down, your gold heart is shinning so brightly I’m gonna go blind!

Precious Gunther has added three new addictions to his existing sex one! A) working out in this atrocious outfit.

B) blowing bubbles from dawn to dusk.

and c) and the most disturbing one, constantly being alone in enclosed spaces with his brother’s intended, Brit Brit. At first I wasn’t too worried about it, thinking Brit is a popularity sim so it’s only natural..but then..

I SEE THIS. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER WHY MUST YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH EVERYONE

-Man idk, it’s almost supernatural. Blame it on God ;)

UGH I don’t even know who I hate more, your whore ass-

-or this fucking llama that hasn’t gone home in 3 days and is eating all our pizza. 

-I just feel so accepted here, like I’m part of the family, you know? 

GET OUT

Speaking of furries, not even the cow will approach the fucking cowplant, jfc. I mean you’d expect some kind of kinship there but nop. Great job Jojo, you killed a dozen secret society members for a defective cowplant.

-Mooo :(

I don’t know which one of you did that but stfu, I can’t anymore with this flop ass household!!!1

ANYWAY back to Brit and Daniel, it seems like my Gunther concerns were baseless, since these two remain eternally into each other, always autonomously doing cute crap.

-Oh Daniel, let me serenade you with the song of your people!  

The kings made us drunk with fumes, peace among us, war to the tyrants! Let the armies go on strike, stocks in the air, and break ranks. If they insist, these cannibals on making heroes of us, they will know soon that our bullets are for our own generals  ♪

ROMANCE ISN’T DEAD

In other news, allow me to present you all with Melody’s personality panel. I was under the false impression that being the child of Wanda and Stephen she was.. nice?? But nop, total Union freak material! We hit the jackpot once again. Now her best friendship with bitch Brit makes total sense.

-Honestly girl, this janky ass house is such a step down from the sorority, I spend half the day thinking of ways to peace out.

-Ugh I know, I was on the fence at first but can you really put a price on good d?

-Aw, what are my beautiful hens cackling about? May I join?

-No.

-I was about to make a math joke but I doubt you gals would get it, amirite? As Barbie said, math is hard!

- I’m a literal math major.

-Oh I know, Mel, good for you! Affirmative action works wonders!

KILL HIM AND HIS HAREM WE DON’T NEED THE LAG

It’s another day in paradise. Daniel has finally cracked and gone full Komei, autonomously cleaning shit even though we have a maid..

Melody ate a ton of burnt grilled cheese and is non-stop throwing up..

AND THIS BULLSHIT IS STILL GOING ON. STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE

-What?? We’re just talking, GAWD

No you’re not “””just talking””” you’re gossiping and doing sexy whispers, I KNOW YOUR TRICKS GUNTHER-

-I don’t mean to interrupt but I think you’re focusing on the wrong issue here?

OH AM I?? DO TELL

-LOOK OUTSIDE BITCH

Nice try whores, nothing is happening outside-

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. WHAT. 

-That’s right, Ti-Ning and I are in love now!

............................FRAN THIS BETTER BE SOME DRY ASS BRITISH HUMOR 

-Nop! We got tired of waiting for Jojo and we decided the best way to handle it was to suddenly make out in front of him even tho we have never even flirted before!

THIS LITERALLY CANNOT BE HAPPENING

-Well it is, so best accept it and we can all move on :)

Oh yea certainly, I mean if anything Jojo is known for his ability to forgive and forget!

See the ghost of Ti-Ning indeed! Finally a wish Jojo and I share. 

TI-NING OMFG THIS LACK OF SHAME

-Haha!!! Finally I’m free to be as gross as I want >:) 

Well.. enjoy it while it lasts.

-The hell does that mean??

Nothing, just you know, none of us know when our time will come.. only that it will. The curse of human existence, one might say. Only we among the animal world know that we will die. Memento mori, Ti-Ning. And we will memento you. 

-..Yea, maybe it’s time I move out?

I mean, you can try..

..but like the curse from It Follows, it follows. It being Jojo. How you holding up boo?

-Oh, I’m great, can’t you tell?

You know what might help? Some of your beloved homework! Do something useful, get your mind off this stuff..

“Sending The First Human to Mercury and Leaving Him There: A Very Specific Space Exploration Proposal” 

-Jojό!! I’m writing about how I finally won your heart but please don’t look, I’m gonna read this at our wedding!

-Yea I literally couldn’t care less about you and your thoughts/feelings/etc, what was left of my heart is dead and gone and now there’s only a black hole there.. Oh we could also send Ti-Ning to a black hole if Mercury doesn’t work. Nice.

-UGH how are you even still alive and breathing the same air as me and not dead from shame like you should be, you vile adulteress???

-OH PLEASE you’re just mad cause Fran and I realized we can do better than your mega-jaw ass. If not for the endless supply of bubbles around here blurring our vision this would have happened weeks ago!

-I’m going to strangle you in your sleep and my jaw will be the last thing you see.

-Your jaw would be the last thing I saw even if I died on the moon.

-MAYBE YOU WILL

.....................well I guess it’s official then. And if the above didn’t seal it..

..this definitely did. God have mercy on me, what a shitshow.

While Tin and Fran are woohooing, Jojo attempts to end his troubles once and for all by running out of the house and into a thunder fire. Thankfully the rain puts it out quickly and all we’re left with is critically low hygiene. 

Man, serving Penguin teas! You have the entire look down, Jo. I’d tell you to audition for Gotham but that’s extremely bad career advice

-Oh god, I almost died!!!! 

Aw I know, but don’t worry you’re safe now <3

-No I mean I came so close but didn’t make it.. :(

Jojo please, if anything, live to kill Ti-Ning and Francis. You owe it to yourself.

As soon as Fran and Tin are done, guess who rushes in to gossip next to the bed. ISTG YOU ASSHOLES, BREAK IT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT THAT WINDOW

-Whatever, we’d just land on Jojo trying to set himself on fire.

-LOL oh Brit you’re so funny!

I HATE THIS HOUSE

-HAD FUN, DID WE YOU SLUT

-Get him, Jojό!

Honestly Wyatt, I get being supportive but I’m really starting to worry about you, even demeaning yourself has its limits..

..especially since Jojo continues to be a massive freakshow. Good lord.

-Oh Francis, don’t tell Wyatt cause you know how he gets, but your total disregard for my existence is making me see you in a whole new, hot, light..

Man, good thing Wyatt isn’t standing 3 steps away from you!

Oh yes, loving this dinner. An ocean between us..

-I wouldn’t eat that third slice if I was you, Ti-Ning. Your funeral day is fast approaching, don’t you want to look nice for it? 

-Well you’ll be there so it doesn’t matter, everyone will be looking at your jaw.

Yes, what a wonderful night. Now let’s all go to bed and hopefully everyone will have calmed down a little by tomorrow!

LMAO yea idk what I was thinking.

-Strangle me in my sleep? How about I strangle you in broad daylight???

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but.. poor Jojo. Not only did he get his ass beat, but to literally add insult to the injury-

-everyone is lusting after Gunther during his defeat. Jfc, I’d want to set myself on fire too.

Oh here we go, Gunther to the rescue! 

-How dare you beat up my brother even though he attacked you first? Prepare to die!

-Whatever, I’ve been preparing for that for the last couple days!

Aw, Gunther is such a good brother/giant loser depending on the outcome of this fight.

VINDICATION. Bravo, Gunther, defending our non-existent family honor!

Daniel, in true Daniel fashion, slept through this entire shitshow, which might be the smartest thing he’s ever done.

Oop, spoke too soon. Say what you want about Gunther and Daniel but man do they both love Jojo! Truly god knows why.

-So Brit, you’re studying poli-sci, can you think of a peaceful resolution to this? Haha!

-YOU STFU TI-NING MY FINALS ARE TODAY MY GPA IS ALREADY IN THE TOILET AND NOW IM GONNA FLOP CAUSE YOU ASSHOLES SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT FUCKING AND THE WHOLE DAY FIGHTING AND I HAVEN’T SLEPT AT ALL DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL I’M GONNA BURN THIS PLACE TO THE FUCKING GROUND IF YOU TRY ME

Well, you might not need to Brit! WHAT IS UP WITH THIS HYPER-FLAMMABLE CACTUS

Brit returns from her finals with a free pizza! How’d you do, Brit?

-Saved by the nightie again!

NOICE. Got a freebie pizza from it too?

-No, I found it in the garbage. My gift to Francis and Ti-Ning for their 3 day anniversary! 

Jojo’s official greek house portrait coming along nicely! Wow he looks very majestic..

..Instagram vs Real Life.

-Bowling is so satisfying if you pretend the pins are your former lovers’ genitals!

Whatever coping method works for you boo!

Gunther and Ti-Ning are officially enemies which is hilarious because not even Jojo is enemies with him?? Follow your bliss, Guns!

In an impressive display of brotherly synchronicity we have double slapping across the room. Double the slapping for half the time, Jojo is as always a true capitalist.

JOJO!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WON! So proud of my baby <3 I’m ofc kidding, this shit has gotten old really fast and I extremely feel Brit watching uninterested. ENOUGH  

HARD MOOD. Brit is honestly on another level than the rest of us basics. What an icon.

For some reason I bothered to fulfill Ti-Ning’s want to learn that relationship maintenance or w/e lifetime skill (talk about money down the drain) and the irony of this pop up text almost sent me to an early grave. And we know who’s going to an early grave today..

IT’S CAKE TIME. REACH OUT, TI-NING. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT

FINALLY. GOODBYE FIGHTING AND INSANE LAG

JESUS JOJO. STONE. COLD.

Ice Cube would like to say, that I'm a crazy muthafucka from around the way, since I was a youth, I smoked weed out, now I'm the muthafucka that ya read about, takin' a life or two, that's what the hell I do, you don't like how I'm livin well fuck you ♪

Wyatt and Brit were on their way to react to Ti-Ning’s little accident but somehow got sidetracked and are now randomly arguing on the porch. Honestly I don’t even know what’s going on anymore, I’ve lost all control of this household.

Jojo rushes over to celebrate Ti-Ning’s demise by immediately slapping the shit out of his grieving lover! Whenever you think we can’t possibly sink any lower, think again. Like right now, after the slapping, are you thinking we can’t sink any lower?????????????????????????????

THINK. AGAIN.

ARE YOU SCREAMING? CAUSE I DID

YUP THIS IS HAPPENING

IT’S REAL

IT’S. REAL. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CURSE WORDS IN ANY LANGUAGE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS

FUCK YOU FRANCIS. FUCK. YOU. YOU’RE GETTING MURDERED SO FUCKING HARD YOU UNBELIEVABLE ASSHOLE. I’M FUCKING DONE. JOJO YOU’RE GONNA DIE ALONE TIME FOR ALL OF US TO ACCEPT THAT REALITY. WE STARTED OUT WITH 3 CANDIDATES AND ENDED UP HERE. HOW THE EVERLOVING FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN FRANCIS AND WYATT HAVE. 1 BOLT. ONE. WYATT IS A FAMILY SIM I’M SO PISSED OFF I NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT

OK. In my 10 years of playing I have never wanted to quit without saving more than with this bullshit. Look at fucking Fran’s smug ass face and moron Wyatt putting on an Oscar worthy performance of shock and regret. YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME WYATT. What the FUCK are we gonna do now???? I guess good thing Max Flexor survived the cage of death. GOD.DAMMIT

[theycallme-tunathot]

Homecoming

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader Rating: PG-13 Synopsis: After being away from old friends for a while, you move back to Busan. You foolishly assume things are the same after you receive an invite from your oldest friend. Author’s Note: Okay, this is mighty short, but I like it. I also wanna say, I’m considering a second part. If you read this and think I should do a second part, let me know! PLEASE! Alright, enjoy this little vignette okay? Gif credit is here.

"Aren't you glad you invited me?"

"You're late."

I rolled my eyes, unable to shield the smirk that grew with every passing second. I didn't bother to turn around though. I only stood there, back facing the door, listening to the footsteps that only drew closer and then the sound of fabric rustling as the new visitor leaned against the door.

"Didn't think you noticed," I replied, voice light and flippant, just the way I wanted it.

Air rushed out from behind me as it became apparent the comment seemed ridiculous. "How could I not?"

Slowly I turned to face Namjoon, wondering if he would leave the question to be rhetorical or if he was actually expecting me to say something. My eyes focused with steady precision as I waited in silence.

When I realized we were just standing there, staring at each other, both waiting for the other to speak, I looked away. I still couldn't wipe that grin off of my face either.

"Thanks for inviting me," I said, leaning back. I could feel my back resting against the metal railing and I hoped no one else was noticing this conversation.  

"Are you kidding me? How could I not invite you?"

I shrugged. "Simple, you don't invite me."

He only laughed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Don't be such a smart ass."

"Then don't be such a dumb ass."

Pointing a finger at me, eyebrows raised, he puffed his chest out playfully. "I'm nowhere near drunk enough to hear this kind of disrespect in my own home."

"I really wish you would learn how to flirt," I replied, crossing my arms around my chest. "It would make these snappy repartees far more interesting."

"Fuck, you're a beast," he said, before taking a generous sip of his beer.   

I only smiled back.

"Is this how it'll be all evening?"

I tilted my head to the side. "Depends on how I feel in the next hour...and whether or not tequila is in that equation."

"Good thing I've got plenty of tequila stocked up for tonight.”

“Brilliant.”

A warm, soft breeze wafted over our small bubble on this empty balcony and I could almost sense just how insular this exchange was. Whatever we said in this moment in time was just between us. No one from the party inside would or could stop to notice something as visually boring as Namjoon and I talking with a couple of feet-worth of space between us. If only they knew the energy between us at this point was mildly palpable.

Pink tongue glazed over a full bottom lip and I couldn't bring myself to notice much of anything else. It was Namjoon's calling card of sorts. He did it a lot and while most disagreed on what it meant, I couldn't help but ignore the urge to figure it out. The urge I couldn't ignore was the need to stare intently anytime he did it in my presence.

He waited a beat, before deciding to pick up the conversation. “It's good to have you back from London.”

At first, I silently nodded at his recognition of my permanent relocation. “It's good to be back,” I said, repressing the thought to tack on “for now.”

“Have you got your living situation settled yet?”

Looking back at the sprawling urban jungle, twinkling in warm neon light, I shook my head. “I'm living with my dad for the next two weeks while I settle my apartment situation.”

“How's he doing?”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“And your mom?”

“Busy being my mom.”

That was enough to break the awkward tension that built up over the course of a few seconds. Mentioning London might've sounded so innocuous to an outsider, but both Namjoon and I knew that moving back to Busan was neither optional nor without its discomfort.

His genuine smile was enough to put me at ease, even if the mention of London made me momentarily think of the one section of my ring finger without a tan, pale in comparison with the other fingers on my hand.

I blinked a couple of times to bring myself to the very moment in front of me. I was talking to Kim Namjoon, the ex-boyfriend who shouldn't still be my friend but somehow is still cordial with me. I was at his party. Maybe it was time that I rejoined everyone else.

“Everyone missed you.”

Namjoon had uttered the words before I even had a chance to lift my finger and mention the party going on behind him.

“No they didn't.”

“Swear to god,” he said, his arms raised by his head. “Jieun even took the time to write you a song…on her ukulele.”

I snorted out a laugh, shielding my face behind my hand. “Oh god, tell me she's at least gotten better.”

Namjoon laughed from his gut, the brightness in his smile reaching his eyes, “What do you think?”

There was something completely therapeutic about the conversation transporting between us. It was so easy and there was something that felt like a time that I thought Namjoon and I would never be able to get back to.  At least not after he begged me to stay in New York and not accept that marriage proposal.

In a rush to keep the upbeat turn in our conversation, I bit my lip as I pointed to the sliding glass door.  

“Ten dollars says Jin won't figure out how to open that door,” I said.

The tall and lanky host turned to see my view of our mutual friend, Jin, drunkenly staring at the door knob to the bathroom.

“I'll give you an extra $30 if he ever realizes that isn't a bathroom.”

“You're on.”

“I'm back to illegal gambling at my house again. What a typical Sunday that used to be.”

"Aren't you glad you invited me?"

Two hours later, I was several strawberry mango margaritas in, made by a new addition to the usual pack of friends. Her name was Nari, with vibrant auburn hair and a weird knack for mentioning she had an obsession with cardigans. She was as sweet as the margaritas she made and I couldn't help but quickly bond with her.

By this point I was too buzzed to worry about answering the staggered questions of how it felt to be back and found a way to ignore the steady stream of concerned glances Namjoon sprinkled through the party as I interacted with the old group of friends.

At the moment, Nari was trying to coax stories about our high school and college days.

“Okay so I know how Namjoon met Jieun, Hoseok, Hyunsook and Jin. How did he meet you? How did you get into the pack?” she asked, turning her hazel eyes toward me.

Everyone seemed quiet for a moment as they looked at me, waiting to see how I reacted.

“She was the original,” Namjoon aided, trying to encourage me to answer appropriately.

Taking a sizable sip of my margarita, I nodded, pointing limply at my longest-lasting friend.

“I met him in high school,” I replied. “Back when he didn't have friends.”

I cupped my free hand around my mouth as I leaned forward to pretend to whisper to her. I heard warm laughs around the room as Nari laughed along, shaking her head.   

“How'd you meet in high school?” she pressed, hungry for details.

Part of me was ready to divulge that information, completely fine with letting my tequila tongue go, but I wasn't nearly drunk enough to travel down that avenue of memories.

Jin awkwardly grunted in the silence when no one rushed to reply to the question. Probably because it was directed to me more than anyone else.

As I sipped down more alcohol, I sighed. “Let’s just put it like this: I provided a service that he desperately needed in high school.”

Nari gave me an awkward stare and for a moment I could clearly see her working out the meaning of my drunkenly vague statement. So instead of just explaining what I said, my mind convinced me she understood and I kept going.

"I mean, clearly he was looking for a ride with someone a little more experienced than that girl Becky Stinton, and I was just the girl, wasn't I Joon?"

Everyone seemed to stare in such an odd way, like what I was saying was weird or maybe too inappropriate for the setting. In my drunken state none of these looks quite registered. And Nari?  She was staring at Namjoon in confusion.

"I typically charged for my services, but...Joon was a bit of an exception to the rule you know?" I continued, clearly ignoring the tension that was building across the room.

Namjoon cleared his throat as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Jin was camped out in front of the same door I observed him at hours ago, still trying to get in to figure out how to turn the door handle.  Jieun was wearing an expression that begged to be anywhere but here and Nari only stared between Namjoon and I.

My index finger traced the lip of the margarita glass as I shrugged. "All I'm saying is that we met because of my service, we remained friends despite it you know?"

"So what you're saying is you and Namjoon used to sleep together?"

I laughed loudly. My mind began to review the last few statements I made and immediately, I caught on to what happened. Shaking my head, I held my free hand up. "No, I've never slept with Joon," I said with ease, laughing a bit as I looked over at him. "Not for lack of trying though, am I right ladies?"

I could feel Hyungsook's stare on me, but I wasn't sure what she was trying to convey with her look. Namjoon wasn't laughing either, which was strange because it used to always be the running joke between us. In the year that we dated and all the years that we knew each other not once had we slept together. Which seems like more of a fucking mistake on my part than anything else.

"We used to carpool in high school," Namjoon provided, looking at Nari as he addressed her.

"His mom paid me good money to make sure he got to school."

The uncomfortable tension only seemingly increased as everyone avoided Nari's look and she wore an expression that was somewhere between disbelief and hurt. I wasn't sure why she felt hurt by the vague statements.   

"Nari," Namjoon began, leaning forward and extending his arm. But before his hand could grab for her hand, she was out of her seat on the couch and looking at everyone before excusing herself. I listened in a haze as her heels beat against the wooden floorboards before looking to everyone else.

He wasted no time rising out of his seat as well and following after her, throwing me a look that I didn't quite see as he moved too fast.

When a closing door seemed to echo across the room, my eyes shot to Hyungsook and Jieun who were trying really hard to seem interested in their phones.

"What the fuck was that about?" I asked, setting down my margarita. Perhaps it was time for me to switch to water.

When no one answered me, I found myself frustrated.

"Hey, I'm talking to you guys," I said, throwing a ridiculously small decorative pillow at Hyungsook.  When it hit her in the face, she glanced up momentarily before pretending like her phone vibrated in her hand again. "Did I say something wrong?"

I sighed, beginning to feel the tension of the room again. Was this what it felt like the whole time I was explaining how I met Namjoon? Was it honestly this uncomfortable? And why was everybody unwilling to explain what just happened? I mean, this isn't my first time being drunk in front of them, yet all of them were acting like this was. None of it was making sense.

Without any discussion, I stood from place in a dining room chair and grabbed the half-full margarita glass. It was probably best I put this in the kitchen and start washing the glass out. It wasn't like I planned on drinking after the awkwardness of this situation. As I excused myself, Jin grunted as I passed him and, probably more frustratingly, Hoseok gave me an apologetic smile.

Once in the kitchen, I stared at the food platters Namjoon had out. A vegetable tray with hummus in the middle. Tiny finger sandwiches filled with turkey, ham and chicken salad. Bowls of chips sat atop the counter, each corresponding to the color of the bag they came out of. The glasses were arranged so that they were lined up by volume, the margarita glasses nearest the sink and coincidentally the biggest.   

This all seemed...organized. Extremely organized.

Nothing against my high school friend, but Joon was never this organized. The guy couldn't even give you a proper schedule of what he did from day to day, but he could coordinate bowl colors for chips? And lay out his glassware based on volume? It was just weird and strange and suddenly, I felt like maybe I'd been away too long. People change and that wasn't a secret. But how much had Namjoon really changed in almost two years?

"I'm sorry about tonight," Hoseok said, his voice carrying over from the fridge.

I looked up and shook my head, grabbing my margarita glass and chucking its contents down the drain. Turning my attention back to the sink, I turned on the water faucet.

"It's not that big a deal. I just got a little too buzzed and I guess I said something wrong that offended Nari."

"You didn't say anything offensive, not really at least," he said, approaching me and leaning against the island. I didn't look at him even though he was staring at me.   

Hoseok was a college friend. After Namjoon and I moved from our hometown to Busan for university, it seemed like the whole world opened up. We were both bright-eyed, bushy tailed and eager to explore everything life was willing to offer. Hoseok was Namjoon's roommate, something that seemed like a mistake the usually hermit-like Namjoon. Hoseok was loud, friendly, energetic. He was a lot like me all that time ago. We forged a good friendship during those college years but after the breakup with Namjoon, I was too ashamed to reach out to Hoseok.

"Nari is Namjoon's girlfriend."

Between the feeling of going deaf and losing all function in my fingers, I could pinpoint the very moment that Hoseok's words settled into my bones. A chill ran over me as I tried my hardest to keep my appearance as level and calm as possible. But how could I achieve that when it felt like I just took a roundhouse kick to stomach.   

So, he had moved on.   

I should've seen this coming, even when he invited me here tonight through a convoluted message through my dad. I should've known that things weren't the same, no matter how much Namjoon sold that on the balcony. And while every selfish bone in my body was indignant how this fact wasn't made explicitly clear before I began interacting with her but also upset that he had finally moved past our relationship, I knew this was a good thing. Namjoon was a good guy with a good heart. He already wasted too much of it on me in that yearlong relationship that I never really deserved. It was good that he found someone worthy of offering his heart to. But none of that took away the sting of opening old wounds.

Shutting the water off, not bothering to look down and check to see if the margarita glass was completely cleaned or not, I set it, lip down on a drying rack to the right of the sink and grabbed a towel to dry my hands off.

"You really didn't know did you?" Hoseok asked, the tone of curiosity hard to miss in his voice. His deep sigh was only followed by an apology. "I thought Joon would've said something, especially since you were coming back so soo--"

I didn't let him finish. My heels clicked against the wood floors as I returned to the entry hallway to grab my keys and cellphone. I didn't want to spend another moment in this apartment if I could help it.   

"You're leaving already?" I heard from beside me as I waited long enough to turn on my cellphone.

I didn't bother to look up from my cellphone. "It's getting late."

"Oh."

My eyes cut to the side, seeing Namjoon standing there. He looked stiff and robotic, unsure of how to say goodbye. He looked guilty and maybe in some way he should feel that way. But I knew deep down, he had no reason to feel responsible for telling me about his new girlfriend. We were just friends in the end and nowhere in that level of relationship did it state he owed me that explanation.

In the moment, I decided it'd be best to look at him one last time. I knew we'd see each other again and there wasn't a single doubt in my mind about this. Brown eyes bore holes into me as I glanced over his arms, the two that used to hold me close whenever I felt too overwhelmed. The lips that would softly place a kiss against my cheek when tears were the only way I could speak. The nose that would nudge my own all those years ago when kissing seemed like the only thing we ever did when we were alone in my dorm room.

No matter what happened on that balcony tonight, this was living proof that we would never have what we did two years ago. And somehow that alone was enough to make me want to cry. The feeling of my eyes drying out, the lump swelling and squeezing against my vocal chords all made it nearly impossible for me to remain under his stare. I just needed to leave.

When he moved to hug me, I decided that was my out. Maneuvering just enough, he missed me by inches as my hand grasped the brass doorknob. As I twisted it, pulling the door open, I looked back only to throw out the most disingenuous statement I could think of.

"I'll catch up with you later."

[bewareofchris]

The Coffin Maker and the Fed (the modern version) | PG-13 | language, themes, some violence?

last one.  This is where i just stopped writing it.  :/

Clarence kept a blog about all of the many semi-fabulous things that happened to him.  He’d started it in the cavernous depths of his teenage bedroom while he was all but drowning in spite for his Mother and his useless Father.  He’d kept it through all the milestones of his life, his first (gay) date, his first kiss, his first time having sex, his first rejection-and-acceptance letters to college, his first apartment, his first car, his first (and most embarrassing) celebrity crush(es).  He’d mutated it from a soap box where he stood and bitched about how terrible his parents were into a platform where he exalted in all the temporary, earthly pleasures of his current life.  (Meaning, of course, all he did was talk about dick and movie stars.)

         The emergency room they found themselves in was Strafberg General and the lovely night nurses regarded the pair of them with a long-familiar tsk of disapproval.  Clarence sat in the easily cleaned and therefore uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room next to Elias and watched after midnight infomercials with the other uninspired occupants.  One or two of them had nodded off to sleep while they were waiting and Elias had broken into a yawn or three in the hour that they’d spent waiting.

         There was one of those posted, ‘Please Turn off Your Cell Phone’ signs by the doors that led back to the actual Emergency Room so he figured that as long as he was waiting (in pain), he could use his phone.  He thumb-typed with his right hand (and cursed how unfortunate it was to be left handed).

         ‘At the emergency room with hot-ass, I’ve got a broken hand and he’s got a bruised face. All of your conclusions are wrong, don’t be so predictable.’  

         It was another half-hour after that before he was called back and had to elbow Elias out of the snooze he’d fallen into while the enthusiastic announcer on the TV extolled the virtues of the five pound vacuum with eternal sucking power.  They shuffled and limped their way back to the rooms, pausing only so Clarence could get his vitals taken before he was installed in the lowest triage room available. It had a TV still playing the same infomercial and a spare chair that Elias sat in and stretched his legs out in front of him.  The nurse eyed Elias’ face and his bruised and scraped-raw knuckles before looking at him.

         “We got in a fight,” Clarence said, “not with each other.”

         It was a flimsy story but it was one that she was willing to accept and must have heard a few more times than she ever needed to if that look on her face was anything to go by.  He flopped back on the examining table and put his good arm behind his head for cushion.  

         “How long does my obligation last?” Elias asked, “I mean, I get to leave after you get your fingers taped together?”

         “Why are you in such a hurry to leave?” Clarence asked, “do you have another fight to get to?  A girlfriend?  A dog?”

         “I have to work in the morning,” Elias said.  If he had a girlfriend or a dog he didn’t bother to acknowledge them and heaved a sigh as he scratched his thumb across the raw skin on the back of his hands.  Another ten minutes, another commercial interrupted the infomercial and Elias was still there, taking up space and exchanging oxygen for carbon dioxide with full self-righteous authority.  

         “Still here?” Clarence asked.

         “Shut up.”  Elias stood up and went over to the TV to switch through the channels until he found something less obnoxious than infomercials.  It was a late-night 80’s movie with a woman pealing a scream of terror out like church bells.  The grainy shadows were nearly as bad as the special effects but Elias deemed it worthy of watching and sat back down.  “I didn’t think you’d be the quiet type.”

         “I’m very vocal,” Clarence promised him and winked to cap it off. He meant it in a lewd-way but Elias shrugged the implication off without even considering it.  “So, do you get into a lot of bare-knuckle street fights for profit? Do you have any other hobbies?”

         Elias sighed out through his nose and picked at the dirt and fraying threads at the knees of his pants.  There was mud splattered half-way up to his knees from running through puddles and the spots of blood had faded from read to dark brown and were hardly distinguishable from dirt.  “I build furniture,” he said, “what about you?  What do you do besides go to illegal fights, bully men into waiting rooms with you and eating pancakes?”  He was studiously staring at the TV.  

         “I’m in an undergraduate program at the university,” he said, “I go to a lot of parties.  The street fighting is new but I have been known to strong arm men into my bedroom when I feel like it.”  He spread his sore hand on his chest and put his good arm over his eyes.  “What kind of furniture?”

         “Define ‘a lot’ of parties.  And whatever I feel like building.  Right now I’m doing a dresser but I’ve done chairs and shelves.”

         “Is this obsession you have with numbers indicative of a deeper mental problem?  I don’t know how many parties are considered a lot, if there’s a party and I know about it—I’ll probably be there.  Have you ever made a table to go with the chairs?”

         Elias snorted at him and shifted in his chair before pulling his feet in under the chair.  Whatever he might have said was cut off by the arrival of a man in scrubs that declared he was there to take Clarence to get X-rays and was extremely disgruntled to find that Clarence was still wearing his own clothes instead of those fabulous designer gowns they gave out.  The man said he’d give them a minute and he’d be back and then he threw a ghastly institution green gown at Clarence.  

         “How am I supposed to put this on with a broken hand?” Clarence demanded.  He stood up and tugged at the hem of his T-shirt with his right hand (awkward as it was to use his right hand) and managed to get it up to his arm-pits but not over his head.  

         Elias stood up, tall as fuck to go with all of those impressive muscles stretching the long-sleeve T-shirt out of shape, and caught the rolled up hem of Clarence’s shirt.  “Put your arms up,” he said.  Then he worked the shirt up and made sure to put it over his head and his good hand before slipping his hands into the sleeve and spreading it wide open to get Clarence’s left hand out.  He dropped the shirt on the exam table and then picked up the gown and helped him put it on (backward) and tied it in the back for him.  “Think you can take it from here?”

         “I’m good,” he said and then, like he couldn’t control himself, “are you gay?  Because you didn’t touch me and that usually means either you’re in the closet or you are offended by the idea of it and I’d really rather not keep you any longer if it’s the latter.”

         The man was back for the X-rays and Elias sat back down in the chair and waved him off.  He was still sitting there when Clarence came back with his hand throbbing.  It was enough of an answer for him.

 --

           In the morning, Clarence woke up in his own bed with those awkward metal casts on his middle and ring finger of his left hand.  There was the raw taste of cotton in his mouth, dry grit in his eyes and a pain in his lower back that had to have come for somehow managing to sleep on his stomach all night with a pillow wedged under his gut.  It took one-two-three attempts to get up before he managed to stumble upright and took a moment to really appreciate the strength of the pain medicine they’d given him at the ER before he headed for the bathroom.  His head was still sloshing around even after he’d made it to the relative steadiness of the toilet so he just put his head against the mirror on the back of the bathroom door and took a few breaths.  He wasn’t dizzy exactly, more like he had the worst case of vertigo of his entire life but it was easing at the edges by the time he pulled the door open again.  The hall to the living room smelled like coffee and fried eggs and he could hear the TV on when he didn’t remember turning it on or inviting over anyone that might have turned it on.  When he rounded the corner he found the room empty but the kitchen light was on and when he stumbled over to the open bar that looked into the kitchen he found Elias standing on the other side with a coffee mug in his hand.

         “Did I invite you here?” he asked.  There was nothing but a hole in his head where last night after the X-rays until this moment should have been.  For all he knew, he could have proposed marriage and passed out congratulatory blowjobs because he really didn’t have any idea how he came to be in his own apartment or how Elias came to be there with him.  “I didn’t mean that to sound so rude.”

         Elias  quirked up something like a smile at one edge of his mouth and finished chewing up the eggs and bacon that were nothing more than messy streaks on his plate.  “You said you’d pay me twice what I made at Burger-Stop if I stayed at your place and babysat you today.”  He reached back into the pocket of his dirty jeans and pulled out a piece of paper, wiped the egg yolk onto the front of his thighs and then unfolded the paper and held it out to him.  It was written on his hospital release instructions and some of it looked like it was barely English but that was definitely Clarence’s signature. “I wasn’t going to hold you to it but I really didn’t feel like going to work anyway.”

         Clarence looked at the paper, then flipped it over and read his instructions, “did you check to make sure I was still breathing last night?”

         “Twice,” Elias said, “you sang me a song.  I don���t know what song it was but you sang it.  I made you breakfast, no pancakes, but there’s eggs and bacon and I can make you some toast.”  He wiped the crumbs off the countertop and dusted them into the trashcan before putting his plate in the sink and running water over it.  

         “How much do you make at Burger-Stop in a day?”

         “About sixty-four dollars,” Elias said, “and you told me that was pathetic and worthless and that you would pay me more to watch morning cartoons with you and drive you around.”  He filled a plate with eggs and bacon and put a clean fork on top and slid it across to him.  “I took a shower.”

         “Ok,” Clarence said.  He sat on the barstool on the living room side of the bar and tried to work out the mechanics of feeding himself with his broken hand or his right hand and then debated which would end with less mess.  Elias was busy making toast across the kitchen and missed his entire dilemma.  “I will pay you,” he said, “I mean, I clearly told you that I would.  You’ll just have to take me to the bank before you leave. Did I do anything stupid?”

         “You posted six entries to your blog from your phone while high on painkillers.  You wouldn’t let me read them but you were giggling the whole time.”

         Oh, that was just perfect.  The kind of above and beyond brilliance that Clarence expected from himself; he switched the fork to his right hand and resolved to eat before he went to find out what kind of stupid shit he’d posted online.

[sueboohscorner]

#Empire S3 Ep14: Love Is A Smoke Recap & Review

After a week of no Empire, we had our Wednesday night drama back. I must give this episode a (10) rating. Taye Diggs elevated his character. Phylicia Rashad was a bad ass. Taraji P. Henson brings it. Serahyah aka Tiana gives a seductive dance. Terrence Howard portrays Lucious as a real top dog. Lucious wins again. This episode had my full attention. Let's recap.

We get to see Giuliana and Lucious history. We see a flashback of a moment he shared with Giuliana. Lucious was playing the piano and Giuliana was watching. Lucious flashback was interrupted by Cookie. Lucious was listening to a song he wrote for Giuliana. Cookie thought the song was beautiful. Cookie told Lucious that Angelo is preparing to propose to her. Lucious knows Cookie is fooling herself. He gave Cookie his blessing and agreed to fall back from her.  Lucious tells Cookie he needs her help talking to Andre about the Vegas deal. The deal has already been put into motions, but Lucious says Cookie; that Giuliana is a very dangerous woman. Giuliana has a mission of her own whatever it is; I see nothing but more trouble for the Lyons clan. 

Andre, Shine, and Giuliana are having a meeting. Tori suppose to be in this session, but she is not there. Shine doesn't understand why the need Tori's help. However,  Giuliana reminds him that the meeting she has with the head of the Vegas commission is coming. If this deal doesn't prove valuable, Empire gets no gaming license. Tori finally arrives (2) hours late and with attitude. Giuliana introduces herself to Tori. Andre asked Tori to write a song for Nessa. Tori tells them (Andre, Shine, and Giuliana) that Lucious has her busy Inferno.  Giuliana suggests Lucious and Tori do a song together. Andre quickly says hell no. Giuliana tells Andre don't interrupt her while she is speaking. She knows what she is doing. It sounds more like Giuliana has a hidden agenda. It looks like Shine knows it too. Tori agrees to write the song for Nessa. Andre asked Giuliana what the deal with her and his father is. She claimed her and Lucious met before, but it's clear he doesn't remember her. Shine reminds Giuliana that Lucious has nothing to do with this Vegas deal. The deal is with him and Andre. Funny, Giuliana called him Shiney. Lmao. Nia Long is indeed playing this role so well.

Jamaal is in the studio. Angelo visit him about proposing to Cookie. Jamaal gives his blessings and assures Angelo there is no more Lucious and Cookie.  

Andre introduce Giuliana to Cookie. Cookie feels she met Giuliana before but Giuliana says no. Her attention quickly goes to Lucious. However, Cookie has met her before at the hair salon. It wasn't a proper introduction but their path had crossed. Giuliana mentioned Lucious looking good like the first time they met. We get a flashback of Giuliana and Lucious meeting at a casino. They both shared some flirting. Cookie asked did they know each other. Lucious admits they meet along time again. He tells Giuliana he is surprised Raphael let you loose because he normally keeps a tight leash on you. Shocking to Shine, he asked Giuliana about Lucious knowing Raphael. Cookie then asked, "Who is Raphael?" Lucious notice Shine is referring to Raphael in past tense. He answered Cookie's question. He explained Raphael Green was a big corrupt player in Vegas. He explains Giuliana was his wife and his family will not conduct any business with her. Cookie looks at Giuliana saying, "I know we met. She tells Andre they will talk and walks off." Will this Vegas deal happen or not?

Cookie has a dinner with Hakeem, Andre and Jamaal. Hakeem is in his feelings about Cookie marrying Angelo. Jamaal tells Hakeem it isn't about him. He said their mother is happy and over Lucious, that's what matter most. He decided to make the last track of his album about Cookie being happy and having the life her father wanted for her. Cookie asked Andre does she has his blessings. Andre said, "Yes." Andre wants something from his mother and brothers as well. He asked all of them to back his Vegas deal. Andre tries to sale them all by offering a visual album party on Extreme for the gaming commissioner. He said if all goes well, they would have broken in a town that Lucious been afraid to crack. Hakeem, Cookie and Jamaal faces didn't appear too happy about Andre's plan. 

Lucious and Thirsty questioned Shine about Giuliana and Raphael. Shine gets upset with Thirsty. He tells him the only reason he isn't snacking him is out of respect for Lucious. Lucious makes it clear to Shine,  any questions Thirsty asked is because he is asking them. The meeting is interrupted by Becky. Becky tells Lucious he needs to hear Tori in the studio. Shine said Thirstily and Lucious he doesn't  know what happened to Raphael; which is a lie. Lucious asked Shine to please find out what happen to Raphael. Shine already knows. Lucious is listening to Tori singing a song she wrote for Nessa. Becky tells Lucious the song was supposed to be a demo but listen to Tori's vocals. Lucious used this opportunity to burn Nessa. Lucious tells Becky to release this song tonight. Due to Hakeem and Tiana tension with Nessa and Andre, he tells Becky to get their help introducing the song. Shots fired!!!

Anika shows up at Tariq's apartment. She tells him she was careful coming there. Lucious and Cookie are listening to Anika and Tariq while Cookie plays with Bella. Anika is seducing Tariq while wearing a wire. Tariq admits to trying to take Cookie down could get his suspension lifted. Anika was shocked.  Lucious got what he needed to take Tariq down. Working on a case while suspended isn't the best move for Tariq. Angelo called asking Cookie why she wasn't home. She had to leave, but before she leaves, she asked Lucious is he going to make Anika family again. Lucious reply that Anika was never family. He confesses they were just freaky together. Cookie tells Lucious that her and Anika are the only two women that could handle him, but she is off the market. Lucious says, "You are a hard act to follow." Their conversation was interrupted by a phone call from Shine. Shine tells Lucious, he knows what happen to Raphael. However, it's something they need to discuss face to face. Shine is setting Lucious up for a secret meeting. Who was in the back seat of Shine's car? Who did he tell I can let you in? Cookie doesn't trust Shine. She says Lucious," if you need me to roll, just give me a pistol." Lucious doesn't feel Shine is a threat. He tells Cookie," You have a man who is about to propose to you and love you, go home."  Could Lucious be accepting Cookie has moved on? The real question is Cookie ready to go on? When she walked away from Lucious that wasn't a happy look. 

Cookie arrives home to Angelo. Angelo has wine and dinner waiting for Cookie. He asked Cookie to appear with him for a interview on a talk show.  He feels their appearance on the show will show the world that Cookie is with him not Lucious. Cookie thought this was the moment Angelina's about to propose. She played it off and agreed to go on the show. Why is Cookie lying to herself?

Lucious walks into his office only to have a gun pointed to his  head by Giuliana. She tells Lucious she doesn't want to shoot him. The gun was just to get Lucious attention and she has it now. We get a flashback moment of Lucious and Giuliana. Apparently, Lucious fell in love with Giuliana after Cookie went to jail. He was trying to close a ten million dollar deal in Vegas. The day of the deal, he was robbed of his cash and woman by Raphael. But, Lucious didn't know Giuliana was Raphael wife. She was apart of the set up. Lucious told Giuliana her burned alot bridges and crossed alot of friends to get that money. Giuliana tries to plead her case by saying she been through a lot. She explains how Raphael was a sick bastard. She claims Raphael was coming after Lucious again. Lucious doesn't care about her sad love story. He wants his ten million dollars. Giuliana doesn't have the money, so she say. She asked Lucious to sign off on the deal and she can get his money. She claimed to have killed Raphael to protect Lucious. That is some bull crap. She killed him to take over his business for herself. She tells Lucious, I'd he doesn't sign off on the deal; that wouldn't be good with the gaming commissioner for her and Andre. Sadly, Giuliana doesn't know she just gave a snake valuable information.

Anika sleeping and wearing a wire. Thirsty suppose to be listening but he is sleeping. Tariq is kissing all on Anika. She is trying to get this wire off of her before Tariq see it. Lucky for her, he gets a phone call. Anika was able to get up and get the wire off. He tells her everything is almost over. His phone call was a plan to meet another FBI agent. 

Hakeem and Tiana is happy about introducing a new track and screwing over Andre and Nessa at the same time. Tori Ash is introduce on Empire Live Extreme. After the recording, Jamaal walks into the studio. He sees all the alcohol and partying  he tells Tori she doesn't suppose to be around this lifestyle. Tori tells Jamaal she can handle herself. Tori throws her own shots at Jamaal by telling him, he can't handle competition not even from his own father. She walks off with a bottle of alcohol, grab a girl and leaves.  

Tariq walks into the hotel room expecting Agent Sweetwater but gets Lucious. He draws his gun on Lucious. Lucious isn't fazed by  pointed gun being aimed at him.​ He makes it clear that plenty of people knows he is there. "Put your gun down little brother.", Lucious said. Tariq wants to know where is Anika. Lucious drops the bomb on Tariq. "Who my wife? Who recorded every illegal move you was plotting against me.", Lucious told Tariq. Tariq was shock that Anika was wearing a wire. He was so sexually attracted to her that he wasn't focus. Lucious had offered Tariq the chance to be apart of the family but he turned him down. Therefore, Lucious gives Tariq a bag of money and told him to run. Lucious claimed he reported Tariq and the FBI was there to arrest him. He took the money and got out that hotel room. Lucious probably didn't call the FBI. 

Angelo does his interview with Cookie by his side. The question of Cookie and Angelo getting married was asked. Angelo proposed to Cookie on national television.  I only heard an oh my God but I think Angelo took that as a yes. He was placing the ring on her finger. Cookie looked more confuse and uncertain verses looking happy. ​Has Cookie realize Angelo isn't the man for her?​

Giuliana and Andre arrives, at Lavitaus. She tells Andre that Nessa can't messed this up. Andre assures her that Nessa will not mess up. Giuliana makes it clear to Andre that she made big promises for this deal. Andre said, "So did I Giuliana." Seems like Andre and Giuliana needs this deal to be sealed. What will happen if this deal doesn't happen?  Hmmmmmm!! Andre and Giuliana walks in the club to see Lucious talking to this woman. Looks like Lucious is ahead of the game. He has the club decorated and looking like a Vegas showgirl show about to happen. Giuliana asked Andre if he knew anything about this. Andre was clueless. Andre wants to know who was the woman with his father. Giuliana informs him that her name is Charlotte Frost. She is the most powerful person in Vegas. Giuliana approaches Lucious. He introduced Giuliana to Charlotte, who is the head of the gaming commission in Vegas. But, she knew that already. Lucious walks to Andre and tell him the him and Nessa is out. Has Lucious stole this deal from Andre? What will Andre next move be? Charlotte seems very impressed and interesting by what she sees. Lucious gives Giuliana all the credit for the live show. Did Giuliana cross Andre when she secretly had a meeting with Lucious? Giuliana calls Thirsty  to take care of their guest. She tells Lucious, you are full of surprises.  

Cookie and Angelo is in the dressing room. Cookie is upset for Angelo putting her on the spot. He tries to explain Jamaal said she would like that. Cookie starting to feel everything is happening to fast and too soon. She explains to Angelo how her relationship with Lucious killed her father. She has been trying to correct a mistake and be with the man her father wanted her to be with from the start. She tells Angelo, she still has feelings for Lucious and they shared one kissed. Angelo throws his mic and it's still on. Angelo gets do upset. He explains how he jeopardized the integrity of his campaign for her. He explains how he broke the law for her by getting Freda out of jail. He talks about help her with the illegal hand gun because she was on parole. All his secrets he is revealing for everyone to hear. Angelo did alot for Cookie because he loved her. To find out she still love Lucious has broke his heart. Angelo knew deep down Cookie still had feelings for Lucious. He saw what he wanted to see. Ms. Dubois enters the room and tells Angelo his mic is still on. His career has ended before it started. Wow. Angelo tells Cookie that her family is poison and called them all garbage. That was such a low blow. Nobody forced him to do anything he did for Cookie. Andre calling gave Cookie the dismissal she needed. When she left,  Ms. Dubois vowed to take the Lyon clan down and have them begging for a merciful death. I think she need to focus on fixing Angelo problem. The Lyon clan will stick together by any means necessary. Ms. Dubois said, "they are going down." I don't think she can handle that. New enemy for the Lyon family. Omg!!!! 

Lucious introduces Tori to the stage. Shine and Nessa can't believe what is happening. Nessa said, "First she steal my song and now she standing in my spotlight." She wanted to know if Shine knew about it. Shine didn't know and neither did Andre. Lucious was one step ahead of them, thanks to Shine helping Giuliana with that secret meeting. Andre tells Shine to get his men together, they are going to take him out. The him is Lucious. Cookie arrives at the club. She overhears Lucious telling Charlotte he wrote the song Tori singing for Giuliana. Lucious and Giuliana then shares a kiss. Cookie looked so hurt and walking out. Did Cookie make the biggest mistake by being honest with Angelo? Did Cookie once again choose the bad guy over the good guy? Will she try to get Angelo back? We have to stay tune to find out.

CHECK OUT THE SONG LUCIOUS WROTE FOR GIULIANA

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Editor: Lattice Johnson

[queennicoleinboots]

Day 46 of Peter and Xara the Goat's Curse: Peter Cusses Out A Literary Agent

A/N: Extreme anger, women bigotry, making fun of the South

The whole family was in a rare mood of hatred and extreme anger. Jamie Parker was the only one halfway civil. He greeted me and warned me about his borderline psychotic family members. I thanked him.

Meanwhile, Godiva was having hot flashes. Her back was hurting her, and she was temporarily possessed by a demon. When I greeted her, she gave me this "Fuck You" look.

I frowned and wondered why I cared. Maybe I was PMSing and am sensitive to everything. I had a strong feeling someone didn't want me around today. What the hell did I do? Oh yeah, move to the South. How stupid!!!!

Godiva walked to the restroom with frustration.

I then tried to clean around Peter, but he was growling at the computer.

"I just want to make this snakeman look creepy. Why does my art betray me?!" Peter asked as he beat the computer desk once with his hammer fist. "Fuck you, photofuck you piece of shit." He slammed the computer desk with his fist again.

"Hi Peter. Is your artwork cursed?" I asked as I dusted the furniture.

"Yes!!! And so the fuck am IIIII!!!!" Peter said as he threw a pencil across the room. "Asshole program. I didn't fucking ask for this bullshit."

I chuckled. "I'm sure it's fine." I said.

"No it's not! I haaaaaate it!" Peter yelled as he crumbled up a piece of paper and threw it across the room. He then saved the progress of his photoshop art and walked away from the computer desk. Then, he jumped up and down and chanted in anger, "Son of a bitch! Why are all my talents going to shit?!" He screamed.

Tug laid down and hid his head under his paws.

"I love your artwork, Peter," I said as I looked at him. "I want copies of all your artwork."

Peter then smiled sadistically. "Sure!" he said while making a rainbow hand motion. "How about if I shit on a canvas and give it you?!" he asked sarcastically.

"Actually, it would be a masterpiece. Please make me shit art," I said with a grin.

"Oh brother," Peter said as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He stared at the wall intently with glowing green eyes.

His phone started ringing normally.

He sighed with rage as he made an air-choking motion. He stormed to get the phone. "Yes mother," he mumbled before he answered the phone. "Yes. Mother."

"Please buy some immodium. I am stuck on this God-forsaken toilet. I have diarrhea. I have hot flashes. I hate everything and everyone," Godiva said over the phone.

"Yes, Mother. I hate everything and everyone, too. I am going to shit on a canvas," Peter said before he changed his facial expression to a clown face. "Say, can you save some of your diarrhea for my canvases?"

"Fuck no, you asshole," Godiva said as she hung up on him.

He looked at his phone with contempt on his face before he said, "Fuck you, too."

"Fuck her indeed. What a bitch," I said.

"Yeah. Want to come to the store with me and get away from my God-forsaken parents? My dad's been up everyone's ass. I know he can't help it, but fuck," Peter said.

"Yes, please," I said as I walked into the front of the house.

A wild caller called Peter's phone. The Pokemon battle theme song started playing.

Peter picked up the phone and said, "Who the fuck is this?" before he answered. "Helloooo?"

"Hello. Is this Peter W. Parker?" the female caller asked in a sexy voice.

"Yes, but I'm not in the mood for that kind of call. Who the fuck are you?" Peter asked.

I chuckled.

Jamie rolled to me and asked, "Is Peter leaving soon? Please tell me he is. His twin mother is bad enough. Keep him away from me."

I nodded.

"Oh. Cherri Pye. Yes. Haha. Maybe I'm in the mood for that kind of call after all. What did you think of my novel?...What do you mean you need me to come over to finish the job??? ... Look, you've gotta be fucking with me... My novel isn't detailed enough???" Peter asked through gritted teeth as he was clenching the phone. I heard the plastic crumble. "What? What? You're rejecting my novel because it doesn't fully describe sperm consistency?... Oh yeah because most erotica describes the viscosity of sperm and cinnamin.... Give me a fucking break you specific bitch... Describe the consistency of YOUR cunt..., cunt. Haha. You couldn't FUCKING PAY ME ENOUGH TO DESCRIBE AND/OR REINACT Arlie's technique you fuckin' fuckin' Bitchasaurus Rex. You're as bad as my fucking cunt mother. All women are all alike, USELESS TWAT whores. They have two purposes... sex and slavery. Possibly a third, but I'm sterile so fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck you.... Yeah. The only fuckin' reason I sent you a copy of my manuscript is because you are a piece of ass... Well, you coulda got fucked in your asshole if you had *juuuuust* accepted my novel proposal you dumb cunt bitch whore slut..... Not my fault. That's your decision, NOT MINE!!!" Peter was making hand gestures and pointing as he bent his knees and leaned over the air.

I laughed. These are things I wanted to say to Godiva more often that not. I swear she is like Cersei Lannister in the Game of Thrones, a complete passive-aggressive, cunty, manipulative, and attractive bitch. Peter at this point is like Jamie Lannister, a man who tries to be honorable but had this massive asshole streak that gets him in constant trouble.

The Pokemon battle theme song died.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck youuuuuuu!!!! I'm not writing that in my novellll. Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck you. I'm not writing that either. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck the hell out of you. Fuck your damn ideas!!!!" Peter sung over the phone.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck youuuuuuu!!! I'm not sitting on that toiletttt. Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck you. I'm not sitting there either. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck the hell out of you. Fuck this fucking bathroom!!!!" Godiva sung in the bathroom.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck youuuuuuu!!! My family is full of assholes. Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck you. I'm too sick for this shitttt!!! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck the hell out of them. Fuck this fucking hoouuusse!!!" Jamie sung as he wheeled out of the house.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck youuuuuuu!!! These humans are fucked-up. Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck you. How did I get here? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck the hell out of thissssss!!! Fuck these fucking people!!!" Tug sung as he bolted to the other side of the house away from his asshole family.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck youuuuuuu!!! The Parkers are fucked today. Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck you. What is wrong with them? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck the hell out of this joooobbbbbbbb!!!! Fuck these fucking asshats!!!!" I sung as I watched Peter violently smash his phone to hang up with his large hand.

"Fuck you. I still need immodium and to get away from humanity. My. Back. Is Killing. Me," Godiva said. "And get the newspaper."

"Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck youuuuuuu!!!! Why are you a fucking bitch?! Fuck fuck fuck fuuuck you. You exist to drive me insane!!!! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck the hell out of menoooopaaaauuuuusssse!!!! Fuck the hell out of woooommmmmmeennn!!!" Peter and I sung before we left the house.

Peter sat in the driver seat of his silver Toyota Highlander. I sat in the front seat.

"Ugh. Fuck this car. Your damn therapist gave you this fucking car," I said.

"Cool. Go buy me a better vehicle," Peter said as he drove and rolled his eyes.

"I would if I could, asshole," I said.

"I'm sure! I'd only pay you a dollar for it. Haha," Peter said.

"You're a piece of shit, Peter," I said as I glared at him.

"That's how much I paid my therapist," he said.

"You're full of shit," I said.

A growling walrus ring tone erupted from my phone.

"What the fuck was that?" Peter asked.

"That's Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig!" I exclaimed before I answered. "BAE WHUHHHH!!!"

"Bae love. How are you?" Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig asked as he was half-asleep.

"I'm alive. You sound like you're half-awake," I said.

"I am," Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig said.

"LEARN TO FUCKING DRIVE, COCKSUCKER!!!!!!" Peter yelled.

I cracked up.

"Oh God. Peter sounds fucked up," Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig said with a laugh.

"He really is. Every fucking day," I said as I laughed. I was slaphappy at that point.

"Goddamn driver mother fucker!" Peter yelled as he honked. "Fucking idiots!!!"

Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig laughed. "That's what you get when you drive in Georgia. I'm going to drive with them soon. I really could use two more hours of sleep, but fuck it. I'm trying to wear myself out."

"Come to the Parker residence. They'll wear you the fuck out quickly. They're the Asshole Family," I said to the tune of the Addam's Family.

"Oh go fuck yourself," Peter said.

"Was that directed to me or a driver besides yourself, Peter?" I asked.

"Either or," Peter said with a chuckle.

"I won't keep you. I need to shop for food. I love you, Bae," Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig said.

"Love you, Boo," I said.

"Whuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" Wally the Walrus the Bear the Pig and I chanted. The walrus bear pig hung up.

"Agggggggghhh!!!! Dammit. I'm going a few miles down the road, and the traffic is unreasonable!" Peter yelled.

"Yep. I hate driving in this fucking place," I said.

There was a rare awkward silence between us. We stared at the road with full disgust.

When we arrived at the Walmart parking lot, there was more traffic bullshit. People were pulling in and out of parking spots and of course nearly running into each other in the process. These folks were the epitome of dumb motherfuckers.

Peter and I sighed our trademark sighs as we were driving through the parking lot.

All of a fucking sudden, a car pulled out of the parking lot, and Peter and I practically teleported to the inside of the Walmart building. Our ass was sticking out of the Grocery side of Wal-Mart's building. The front of the car was lodged in the Subway restaurant's wall.

"What the fuck was that? How does that even happen?!" Peter and I asked simultaneously as we hyperventilated.

The people in Subway stared at us as though we were aliens. I looked at them like they were retarded. I didn't choose to be lodged in a fucking building that day.

Peter sighed before he freaked out. "Oh God! This reminds me a year and a half ago when my brakes stopped working in the Lincoln. Stupid son of a bitch car! Now THIS happens!" he said with wide eyes as he began to foam at the mouth.

I laughed nervously and looked at him.

The area around us caught fire.

"Oh shit! 9-11!!! Super Coping Man! Help me!" a middle-aged woman screamed as she saw the front of the Highlander burst into flames. Peter W. Parker used to be Super Coping Man.

"Run away!" a middle-aged man screamed as he hauled ass out of Subway.

"Today was a bad day for 'Take Your Son To Work Day,'" his son said as he ran with his dad.

"I just got a promotion, too!" a black man yelled as he ran out of Subway and then went shopping.

"I shouldn't have gone to work today!" another black man said as he ran out the door.

A piece of the fender fell off as the front of the car was sweltering. Some of the drywall around us was falling onto the car and bouncing to the ground.

Peter started swearing as he beat the steering wheel. He reminded me of myself on most occasions. I'll admit that more than ever, I beat on my steering wheel when I am frustrated while in a car.

"I can't believe this! I was driving, and this happens. Wow. I cannot catch a break any fucking where! And I hope I don't have to sit and fix this fucking drywall that is RANDOMLY FALLING FROM THE WALL!!!!"

His phone rang. It was his mother calling. "Yes, mother dearest," Peter said with a sarcastic smile.

"Did you remember to pick up the newspaper?!" Godiva asked.

"Yes, mother. I'm on my way now," Peter said as he smiled more widely.

"Okay, asshole. I am on the toilet," Godiva said. We heard the diarrhea fly out of her butt.

Peter said quietly. "And I'm in a burning fucking car." He was smiling insanely at that point.

I saw Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown heading toward us.

"Yes, mother. Let me get out of the check-out line... Uh-huh. Bye bye now," Peter said before hanging up. He looked at the phone and said, "Bitch."

"My God she needs to chill the fuck out," I said. "Should we even bother to get out of the car?"

"Unfortunately yes," Peter said as he got out. "Let's go shopping."

We left the car while we encountered Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown.

"Hey guys! I'm Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown. May I fix your car for a nominal fee?" Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown asked.

Peter looked at Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown and then at his Highlander that was burning and melting the steel. The back doors completely fell off. He laughed like Tom Hanks did in the movie, Money Pit. I laughed with him because I, too, was nervous.

"If you can fix this car, go right ahead," Peter said as he started to go shopping.

I followed him as we went shopping. Everyone looked at us weirdly, but it wasn't unusual. The fact that we just got out of a burning car wasn't the weirdest thing people looked at us for. The weirdest thing we got looked at for was so weird that it can't really be put into English.

Peter and I were already looked at as aliens in good ole Georgia. Peter was born in Georgia, but somehow he's still an alien. Okay, because that makes sense. #whattheactualfuck?

Peter grabbed today's newspaper and the immodium and paid for it. We then went to the car that Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown magically fixed.

"Oh wow! The car looks brand new! What's the fee?" Peter asked with happiness.

"Tomorrow, you have to fix the drywall that fell from the wall," Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown said.

"Nooooooo!!!!" Peter said while he started to cry. His face literally embraced the cry.

"Sorry, buddy. That's the fee for fixing the car," Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown said.

Peter continued to cry while I gave him a hug and said, "There, there." three times.

"Peter, Peter, Peter," I said. "It will be okay. It's just one day of drywalling."

He stopped crying and sniffled a bit. "I know, but that's bad enough," he said.

"It is," I said.

"Thank you, Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown," Peter said before his mother called again. "Mom! What?!"

I rolled my eyes. "She's making me nervous," I said.

"Yes, Maaaahhhhmmm," Peter said as he rolled his eyes.

"I thought you said you were on your way. Where the fuck are you? Where's my newspaper?" Godiva asked.

"I'm on 124, Maahhhhhm. There's a stupid amount of traffic, and a clown is holding everyone up on the road," Peter said as he was beating himself with the newspaper.

"Oh I hate that damn road!" she said. "Get home, you asshole."

"Love ya, too, bitch," Peter said.

She hung up on him. He hung up on her.

"Let's get the fuck out of here," Peter said.

We got in the car and drove the fuck away from Smellville's Wal-Mart.

"Your mother is fucking unbelievable today," I said as I sighed.

"She and every goddamn thing else. If it weren't for Pennywise the Car-Repairing Clown, we would have had to walk home. Clowns are a blessing," Peter said.

True. Thank God for Car-Repairing clowns," I said.

"Yeah, really," Peter said with a chuckle.

We remained quiet for the rest of the drive. We were too stressed to handle anything else until we got to the Parker residence.

Peter and I sighed before we exited the car. Peter went ahead of me. He stormed inside, and I followed him like I always do.

When I walked in, I saw Godiva take immodium.

"Thank you. And the paper?" Godiva asked.

"The newspaper! The newspaper! Don't forget the newspaper!" Peter yelled before taking the newspaper out of the bag and beating Godiva with it. Peter's voice became three octaves higher as he screamed, "Here's your newspaper! Here's your newspaper! Here's your newspaper!!!"

Godiva was flat on the bed and staring at Peter with wide eyes.

"Paper! Paper! Paper!" Peter yelled in the same high octave as he continued to beat her with the newspaper. I was jealous. I wanted him to beat me with the newspaper.