#when im freer during the holidays i may watch some of his older finals. if u wanna watch it tgt 🤲🤲

[presdestigatto]

NOOOO WHYYYYYYYY 😔😔😔😔😔😔

i just watched the video and I just- have no words. how are you doing 😔

😔 i think I'm going a little insane 😔 not even in a good way 😔

😔 y

my heart has broken into a million tiny pieces and will never recover

I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING OKAY. im sending u all the love possible. when i first saw the news i was devastated but i think like watching the video, and hearing him speak so contentedly about his career and being at peace with retiring made it better for me. like these are his terms yk 🥲 and this year was a joy to watch even if the results weren't what he's used to expecting. the fact that he SHOULD play doubles w carlos one last time is helping me process this a lot haha. if i take a step back it's a good way to end things. like the 250 final run in bastad, doubles w casper ruud, olympic doubles w carlos, playing pretty decently against zverat who despite his obvious character flaws has really been a top4/5 player this season, defeating ADM!! all after such a long break is not shameful in the least. it made me as a fan really happy. his fighting spirit has never once waned. it's just a special quality of rafa that i don't see in any other player, and maybe i never will! he's so inspiring and im always going to be thankful to have watched him play.

i eulogised a lot because i have tremendously big feelings about rafa gah but i hope spain wins the DC and rafa gets to spend the rest of his life happy w his family!!!

oh AND it may not feel the same but having carlos to root for does soothe the hurt a bit haha. i dont feel the same way when i watch carlos ofc but i am still am immensely fond of him and i think he brings a very different but similarly intense joy to his fans