#when i'm out and its dark it makes me think about being 17 and walking around in the dark

[peachy-posy]

Counting Steps (Vash the Stampede x Reader)

Summary: While traveling with Vash, you get a wound and decide to hide it from him.

A/N: Howdy! This is my first Trigun fic, please be nice hehe. This was originally written with Tri Stamp Vash in mind, but then it turned into me mixing him with 98 Vash, and so now we have this.

I'm considering making a little series about the reader and Vash because I am so whipped for this silly blonde man, the brain rot is insane. If that's something you'd be interested in lmk!

I hope you guys like it <3 ALSO this was cross-posted to my AO3

Warnings: Mild violence, mild blood/injury, fainting

Word Count: 2.5k

This was inspired by this quote from @creativepromptsforwriting: “When were you going to tell me you were bleeding? When you’re already dead?!”

98. 99. That’s another 100 steps. Start over.

You grit your teeth, clutching your side fiercely. Luckily, you are wearing black, so Vash hadn’t seen the sticky, dark stain appear. Your faithful traveling companion walks several paces ahead of you, leading the two of you to a nearby settlement. You couldn’t be that far away now, right? God, you hope not. 

You lose your footing, stumbling briefly before catching yourself. White hot pain shoots through your abdomen, and you can’t stop the hiss that slides out between your teeth. Fortunately, Vash doesn’t seem to be able to hear it over the sounds of the wind. A bead of sweat rolls down your face, and you pause, allowing yourself to pant for a moment. Not for long, though. You have to keep moving.

Counting your steps in increments of 100 has been your method of keeping yourself focused. It was a simple task, something to devote all of yourself to for the time being. If you could keep going, one step at a time, you knew you could make it to the town. 

17. 18. 19. That’s another 20.

Your mind wanders to the very situation that caused you to get an injury in the first place. What a mess today has been. 

You have been traveling with the infamous Vash the Stampede for months at this point. Shootouts and run-ins with bandits and bounty hunters made for another Tuesday. Usually, that was no problem for you guys. You knew your way around a gun and could certainly hold your own, so what the fuck happened today?

30. 31. 32.

The two of you had stopped at a small plant you��d come across while traveling in the desert, thinking it was a good chance to take a breather. Little did you know, you were walking right into a stick-up, with a small group of bandits robbing a family that had stopped there as well. You and Vash stepped in quickly to help, easily incapacitating the bandits. Vash’s attention readily became focused on helping out the family, noticing that the oldest child had gotten a gash on the head.

Allowing Vash to handle the damage control inside, you had stepped back outside to catch your breath. You walked over to the side of the building, leaning against it and resting in the shadow it produced. Out of the corner of your eye, though, you saw movement. Apparently, there was another person involved that had slipped away. You sprung into action, running around the building to where you’d seen the figure disappear. After that, everything happened really fast.

The man was quick, and he lunged at you with startling speed. You were able to dodge the initial thrust of his knife towards your gut, but you didn’t sidestep fast enough, feeling the blade tear a gash into your side. The adrenaline in your system helped you to ignore the pain, and you whipped around, kicking the knife out of his hand and twisting his arm behind his back. Before he knew it, you had him pinned on the ground, arms pulled uncomfortably behind his back. Drawing your small revolver from its holster, you swiftly hit the back of his head with the grip, feeling his body go limp under you. 

After he passed out, the tension left your body and you leaned back with a sigh. It was at this point that you started to feel the sharp, stinging pain radiating from your side. Glancing down with a wince, you moved your jacket aside, laying your eyes on the gash that had been so generously given to you by your friend here. Because you wore your jacket open, it looked like it had blown out of the way and been spared by the blade. So, at the very least, you wouldn’t be spending the evening sewing the jacket up. Your body was a different story, unfortunately.

It was a small, but deep, clean cut. It wasn’t anything worse than what you’ve had before. But, it would definitely need some stitches. You were almost positive you could patch this up with the first aid kit inside. 

You released your jacket, heaving yourself off the ground with some effort, applying pressure to the wound. Once on your feet, you made your way back around front, finding the entrance to the small building. 

Vash was crouched, chatting to the teary-eyed children, calming them down with a practiced ease that came from many years of experience around kids. He smiled at them, and said something that drew a giggle from the children. Their parents watched from nearby with grateful smiles, eventually pulling him into a conversation with them as well. A soft smile formed on your lips, as it often did when you saw him have these types of interactions. 

Your pain brought you back down to reality though, and you grimaced. Your eyes scanned the room for the first aid kit, and you found it lying on a small table. You quietly walked over, and immediately grabbed some gauze to hold against the wound. You sifted through the contents, searching for the thread, knowing you definitely had some. It wasn’t until you remembered that one of the kids had gotten a cut to the head that you turned around, seeing the last of your thread stitched up in a wound already. Vash might be holding onto some more, but even if he were, it likely wouldn’t be enough. 

Well. Shit.

You faced away from everyone again, trying to think of what to do. You were less than half a day’s walk from the next town. You didn’t have any supplies other than some gauze that would help. Telling Vash would worry him, and he’d definitely want to carry you the rest of the way, even though you knew his prosthetic had been causing him soreness recently. 

You were just gonna have to suck it up and walk. You stuffed gauze into your pockets as discreetly as you could, before hearing your name called from behind you softly. You turned your head to the side, heart skipping a beat at seeing those gorgeous blue eyes gazing at you.

“Everything okay?” he asked quietly, concern creasing his brow. You wanted to reach out and smooth your fingers over it, not wanting him to worry about anything. 

Instead, you gave him a convincing smile. “Yeah. I found another guy outside. We should probably tie him up with the others before leaving.” The person running the plant assured you both that they would be fine while they waited for authorities to arrive to take the men away. You made sure your body was angled to where he couldn’t see your bloody hand or the gauze. 

He raised his eyebrows, surprised to have missed one, but ultimately nodded, letting you know he’d take care of it. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Mayfly. I’m getting sloppy!” he joked, and you’d giggled in reply, heart fluttering every time he called that. It was just friendly, of course. Because that’s all you were - friends.

That’s another 60 steps. Or was it 70?

You jam your eyes shut, breathing through the worsening pain. You sigh defeatedly. You ran out of gauze an hour ago. The bleeding has slowed, but not fully stopped. Not with all of the pulling from walking. At least the sun is starting to go down, giving you a break from this damned heat. 

You look up, seeing Vash’s back ahead, his red coat blowing gently in the wind. The distance is getting greater between the two of you. You’re starting to regret not filling him in about your situation. After noticing your silence not long into the walk, he’d asked once more if everything was all right. You smiled, told him you were fine, and that you’d tell him later tonight. He accepted that begrudgingly, giving you a Look, but had ultimately given you space.

You stop walking, your breathing uneven and heavy. Your vision wasn’t quite right either… had you really lost that much blood? The chill settling into your bones screams ‘yes’ at you. Vash is getting too far away. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You feel your body trembling, and you close your eyes, a dull ringing in your ears beginning. Your grip on the gauze pressed into your side is getting looser, but you’re starting to care less. It’s not like it’s working anyway.

You are startled out of your thoughts by the feeling of hands gripping your upper arms. You gasp, opening your eyes, struggling to get them to focus for a moment. Once they do, you see Vash in front of you. His mouth is moving, and he looks worried. Oh. They’re his hands, you note, glancing at his arms. 

The ringing in your ears subsides enough that you can hear his voice again. He’s calling your name.

“…you okay? What’s wrong?” He asks, searching your eyes.

“Huh?” You manage eloquently.

He sighs, closing his eyes, but he doesn’t let go of you. “You’ll be the death of me, Mayfly. What’s wrong?” He asks. “I know you said you’d tell me later, and, well, it’s technically later now, so…” he trails off, but his words have an expectant tone to them. This doesn’t really seem to be something he wants to budge on.

Not that you’re planning on withholding what’s happening at this point. You are almost certain you’ll pass out here soon. 

“Um…” you start, averting your gaze. Finally, he seems to notice the way you’re holding yourself. Specifically, the placement of your arm, tucked into your jacket. His expression shifts into something more knowing, and he seems to have caught on. 

He gently reaches down to pull your hand away so he can take a look, but as he does so, your knees buckle and you start a hard fall to the sandy ground. You shut your eyes, waiting for the impact that never comes, as you are wrapped up in a pair of strong arms before falling very far.

You are slowly lowered the rest of the way, and find yourself resting against Vash’s chest on the ground. He’s muttering something under his breath, and you’re murmuring an apology. He pulls your jacket back, sucking in a sharp breath when he sees the bloodied gauze.

“When were you going to tell me you’re bleeding? Once you were already dead?!” He asks, and yeah, you probably deserve that. He’s peeling back the gauze gingerly, scrutinizing the wound, concern etched into his gorgeous face. He’s talking, likely scolding you, but that annoying ringing in your ears is back, so you can’t hear him. You should not be thinking about how pretty he looks right now, but your vision is turning black and you don’t really care anymore. His head turns to face you, his eyes widening. There’s something in his expression you can’t quite identify.

 But everything feels heavy, and you are very tired. You slump into his chest, closing your eyes. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The next thing you know, you are lying in an uncomfortable bed, tucked into itchy, white sheets. You groan, taking in how dry your mouth is and how bad your side hurts. 

Oh yeah.

You open your eyes, sitting up with a gasp. You blink hard to clear your vision, but curl into yourself as pain shoots through your abdomen. You feel a set of familiar hands take you by the shoulders.

“Woah! Take it easy! Just take a deep breath for me, okay?”

You feel one of the hands move from your shoulder to rub your back soothingly, and you look up. Those beautiful blue eyes meet yours, relief flooding his features. Vash murmurs your name with a relieved smile.

“There you are. Are you okay?” He asks softly, gently pushing you to lay back down. You put up no resistance.

“Yeah, just a bit sore,” you manage, glancing down to your wound. You move your hand to touch it, applying pressure experimentally, but he moves your hand away, holding onto it instead. Like a worried friend, you remind yourself. You take a moment to glance around the clinical-looking room, and think you already know the answer, but ask anyway. “Where are we?”

His thumb moves slowly across your knuckles, just like a friend would do. In a friendly way. “The local clinic. We weren’t very far out of town when you passed out. I just brought you here right away. That was last night.” His expression shifts from soft to scolding, and he runs his other hand through his blonde hair. “You nearly gave me a heart attack! Don’t do that again!”

You offer a small, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Vash. We’d used the last of the thread for stitches on one of the children, and I thought I could tough it out.”

He stares at you, and you wilt a bit at his hurt expression. “Why wouldn’t you tell me though? We may not have been able to stitch you up right away, but I could have-“

“Carried me into town?” You finish, and he nods. You reach up, gingerly touching his prosthetic arm. His eyes widen slightly, not expecting your touch. “I know your arm has been bothering you lately, and I didn’t want to make it worse.”

His expression softens endearingly once more at your reasoning, the look he’s giving you making you fall in love with him all over again. 

“Oh, Mayfly,” he murmurs, “let me decide what I can handle, okay? It wouldn’t have been so bad.”

You understand, but you also frown a bit at his words, raising an eyebrow at him. “But who looks after you? You have and would push yourself past every limit you have for the sake of someone else.” 

He sighs, but doesn’t deny what you say, either. “How about we work on compromising a bit? We’ll look after each other, and make sure we aren’t pushing ourselves too hard.”

You try to level him with a stare, but end up relenting with a sigh and a smile. “Fine.”

He smiles back at you, mirroring your tone. “Fine.” 

There’s a beat of silence, and it seems like something comes to his mind at that moment. His smile becomes something more like a smirk, and you regard him suspiciously. 

“What,” you deadpan, somewhat dreading whatever he has to say.

He props his elbows on your bed, resting his chin on his hands, leaning forward. 

“Nothing! I’m just flattered,” he replies, and you really, really don’t like the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“By…?” You ask, narrowing your eyes.

“I didn’t know you thought I was pretty.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes. Of course you do. But you’d never just say that.

“Yeah, right.”

“No really! You said so yourself! Remember? Something like, ‘I should not be thinking about how pretty you look-’”

You choke, blushing furiously. Oh my god. Right before you passed out. You must’ve accidentally said that out loud, delirious.

 “I-I did not!” You sputter back, but you know it’s futile. He’s laughing too hard. You hate it, but even now, as he is laughing at you, you can’t help but love the sound of it. You’d do just about anything to keep him laughing and smiling like this.

He pokes your cheek, his laugh dying down. “For the record, I think you’re pretty too. ‘Specially when you’re blushing like this.”

Holy. Shit. 

Never mind. You wish you had bled out.

[tylerandcrystal]

THE WOLF'S MOON

🐺🌕

James Miller, a werewolf, must help his friend deal with the consequences of being bitten, while also navigating his own feelings for Allison Argent, the daughter of the hunters who are after him.

Allison Argent X oc

Season 1

KJ APA as JAMES MILLER

"sorry to keep you waiting, but now I'm all yours."

CRYSTAL REED as Allison Argent

"Do I make you nervous?"

The rest of the cast of Teen Wolf.

🌕🐺🌕

James Miller, a 17-year-old alpha werewolf, lived under the protection of the Hale family in Beacon Hills after being abandoned by his biological family. His life changes when Scott McCall, a schoolmate, is bitten by a new and powerful alpha. Derek Hale orders James to keep an eye on Scott to maintain the secrecy of werewolves and prevent trouble with hunters.

James also faces romantic rivalry with Scott for the affection of Allison Argent, the daughter of a family of hunters. As the new alpha threatens to destabilize the city and the conflict between hunters and werewolves intensifies, James must choose between protecting his friends and following his own heart.

🌕🐺🌕

CHAPTER 1:

The familiar shadows of the Beacon Hills reserve surrounded me, but there was something different in the air that night. A sense of unease, as if the forest itself was holding its breath. I knew this place better than I knew myself. I understood what it was capable of and what it hid among its trees. When I saw Scott McCall emerge from the bushes, I let out a sigh. What the hell was he doing here?

Scott had always been a quiet guy, one of those who tried to stay out of trouble. Different from his friend Stiles, who seemed to attract problems like a magnet. We were "friends," or at least something similar. We chatted occasionally between classes, but nothing deeper.

From the shadows, I watched him move forward. Something dark and ominous hovered around him. Each step was slower, heavier, as if the ground itself was trying to hold him back. When he stopped at a fork in the path, I saw his body tense up, as if he sensed danger. A dull noise from between the trees made him jump. He reached for his inhaler in his pocket, but the sound changed, turning into a deep rumble, like a wave approaching.

My heartbeat quickened. I knew what was about to happen. Then, suddenly, a dozen deer burst out from the underbrush, racing past Scott in a wild stampede. He dropped the inhaler as he struggled to regain his balance, but what the flickering light of his phone illuminated was something horrifying: a face, torn in half. A girl, her body mangled and broken among the leaves. A choked scream escaped her mouth as she stumbled back.

"Scott!" I wanted to yell, but my voice remained trapped in my throat. He slipped, tumbling down the slope, and without thinking twice, I followed him. My heart pounded furiously in my chest. I knew what was coming.

Then I felt it: a low, menacing growl that made my nerves tremble. I froze, and so did Scott. The creature was about to strike. I could feel it moving in the darkness, its heavy breath mingling with the scent of blood. In that moment, everything seemed to slow down.

I lunged forward, but I was already too late. The shadow pounced on him, its white, razor-sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight. "Scott!" I screamed, reaching out to him as the creature struck. I watched him fall, blood flowing. Its scent hit me, nauseating me. I had to intervene.

I positioned myself between him and the beast, my heart racing, and let the wolf inside me emerge. A fierce growl erupted from my chest. "Leave him alone!" I roared, my voice turning into an animalistic growl. "Let him go!"

The alpha stopped, its red eyes like blood gazing at me. An instant of hesitation, as if it was assessing whether I was a threat. Then, slowly, with a fluid and ruthless motion, it turned and walked away. Scott remained still, paralyzed by fear.

"Run!" I shouted, pouring all my will into the words. "Scott, get out of here!"

For a moment, he stood frozen, confused and scared, but then something unlocked within him. He turned and started running, disappearing into the shadows of the forest.

A sense of relief washed over me, but only for an instant. I knew Scott was safe... at least for now.

But he didn't know who I was. He didn't recognize my face, hidden behind the wolf's form, nor my eyes burning bright red. And maybe, that was for the best.

🐺🌕

I reached a safe spot and called the only person who could help me understand what had just happened.

"Derek, you need to come to Beacon Hills right away!"

His response was immediate, tense. "What happened?"

"An alpha. He bit a boy. You might want to-"

The line cut off with a sharp beep. Derek had hung up. Damn it.

I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. I knew Derek would come. And I knew that things were about to get very, very complicated.

🐺🌕

I'm blindly slipping into my pants, my mind still foggy with sleep. Derek is there, leaning against the door with his arms crossed and that impassive expression that makes me want to scream. One eyebrow is raised ever so slightly, and I can already feel the lecture coming.

"Follow him? Are you serious?" I burst out, my voice sharp as a knife.

"Yes." He's firm, convinced, as if he's talking about the weather. To him, everything is simple and clear: it's like a well-marked road. Black or white.

I huff, irritated. "I'm not going to babysit."

And he doesn't waver. "You're not babysitting. You just need to keep an eye on him, talk to him, help him."

I laugh, but there's nothing funny about my smile. "Hey, I don't even know him."

Derek stares at me with that calmness that seems almost unnatural. "You go to school together."

"What? I've exchanged a couple of words with him in the hallway, if that's good for ten times." I throw him a penetrating look. "That's not enough to say that I know him."

"Then it'll be the perfect opportunity to get to know him," he replies, without a moment's hesitation.

I sigh, the tension already palpable in the air. "Do you realize it will be weird? Really weird."

Derek doesn't flinch. "You can handle 'weird.'"

I make an irritated sound as I put on my t-shirt, avoiding his gaze that seems to read my thoughts. "No, I really don't think-"

"There's another alpha in town, James," he interrupts, his voice now harder. His arms are crossed tight, as if they bear the weight of what he's not saying. "You've noticed, right?"

I stop, a low growl rising in my throat. "So what? Am I supposed to babysit his betas?"

Derek steps forward, his voice intense as if he wants to shake something inside me. "You're an alpha too. Don't you get it? It's your responsibility."

I feel the blood pounding in my temples. "Derek, I want a normal life! Go to school, fall in love, party... like all the other guys."

He shakes his head, incredulous. "We're not like the others."

His tone irritates me even more, and my self-control begins to crumble. "Yeah, but I've tried not to be like you guys since that day, and you know it." His eyes drop for a moment, and I know he understands which day I'm referring to. The fire. The night I lost everything.

But he doesn't give in. With a softer yet firm tone, he says, "So why did you try to save that boy?"

I look at him incredulously. "What does that mean? Should I have let him die?"

"No," he replies, and there's a challenge in his voice, an invitation to reflect beyond the immediate. "But your alpha instinct told you to protect him."

I feel like I might explode. "Oh, no. Don't try to draw me into this kind of discussion, Derek."

Derek doesn't respond right away. He approaches my bed, grabs my backpack, and throws it at me. "You don't want to be late on your first day of school, do you?"

I catch the backpack midair, my heart pounding furiously. "The conversation always ends when you decide it does."

He smiles, just a hint, but enough to make me want to throw something at him. "When you realize you don't have a choice."

I sigh, feeling the bitterness building inside me. "One day, I swear, I'll stop listening to you."

Derek comes closer, places a hand on my shoulder, and looks into my eyes, his features softer than usual. "Yes, but today isn't that day."

My eyelids feel heavy, but I don't look away. "I hate you," I mutter, but my voice doesn't carry any real weight.

He chuckles softly, a deep sound that fills the room, and I can almost see a hint of affection in his eyes. Deep down, I know that despite my wish to rebel, I can't help but listen to him. And despite everything, I'm not ready to distance myself from him. Not yet.

🐺🌕

The roar of my motorcycle engine echoed as I approached the school entrance. With a smooth motion, I parked and took off my helmet, allowing my mind to focus on the fragments of conversation drifting into my ears. Scott and Stiles were deep in an animated discussion.

Stiles: "Okay, tell me everything. Ooh!"

Scott: "Yeah... Wow! It was too dark to see clearly, but I'm sure it was a wolf."

Stiles: "Did a wolf bite you?"

Scott: "Uh-huh."

Stiles: "No way."

Scott: "I heard a wolf howling."

Stiles: "No, you did not."

Scott: "How do you know what I heard?"

I stepped closer, getting a clear view of them. Scott looked troubled, a mix of fear and confusion in his eyes. It was clear he was trying to piece together a situation that seemed to be slipping away from him.

Without thinking too much, I approached them with a confident and laid-back tone: "Hey, guys!"

The two whipped around to face me. Stiles jumped in surprise. Then, with a forced smile and tense shoulders, he greeted me, "Oh, hey, James!" It was a little too friendly for my taste. "Did you hear what we were talking about?"

While Scott appeared lost, as if he was trying to determine whether all of this was real or a dream.

I smiled calmly: "No... Why? Should I have?"

"No, no! We were just discussing boring stuff, you know... nothing special."

A silence stretched between us as I observed them. Then I turned to Scott, who hadn't spoken a word until then. "Scott, what about you? You okay?"

Scott looked at me, and for a moment, I could read a shadow of confusion in his eyes, a foggy memory struggling to surface. "Uh... yeah, yeah... I guess I'm okay."

He doesn't know I was the one who saved him, that I threw myself between him and that beast last night. It's better he doesn't find out. Not yet.

At that point, Stiles, nervously chuckling and trying to save his best friend, declared: "Yeah, perfect! Like always, right?"

I watched them, aware that they were trying to hide something, but I knew better. It was a reality they hadn't yet confronted. I smiled, echoing Stiles' words: "Perfect, sure... like always."

In that moment, I caught sight of Lydia Martin strolling along the outside corridor like a model on a runway. Her red hair sparkled in the sunlight, and her smile was confident and magnetic. Stiles and I exchanged a glance and, almost in sync, greeted her: "Hey, Lydia!"

She looked at me and smiled, giving me a nod, but only to me, leaving Stiles completely ignored.

I said, smiling: "Maybe she didn't hear you."

Scott burst out laughing, and Stiles shot me a mock-indignant look.

"But she waved to you!"

I shrugged. "Maybe she meant to wave to you too."

Stiles shot an accusatory glance at Scott. "You're the cause of all this, you know. You've dragged me into your nerd abyss. I've become a nerd by association. I've been scarlet-nerded by you."

I smiled, amused by the scene unfolding before me. I turned back to Scott, who was still hiding his discomfort behind a forced smile. I knew something inside him was changing, and he would soon have to face the reality of what had happened. He was searching for answers. But I wasn't ready to give them to him yet.

🐺🌕

It was the first day of English class, and the room was filled with a hum of voices and the sounds of chairs scraping against the floor. I walked into the classroom and immediately spotted Scott sitting next to Stiles, both already deep in an animated discussion.

The atmosphere shifted instantly as MR. CURTIS, the teacher, entered with a deliberate and authoritative stride.

"As you all know, a body was found in the woods last night. I'm sure your curious little minds are already conjuring up all sorts of macabre scenarios about how it happened, but I've been informed that the police have a suspect in custody."

Scott shot a surprised glance at Stiles. I was equally taken aback by this revelation. I had no idea there was already a suspect.

"So now that the gossip has been set aside, you can devote your full attention to the syllabus on your desks. Read it now. And by reading, I don't mean just giving it a quick glance."

The students buried themselves in their reading, but an unexpected CELL PHONE RINGING broke the silence. Scott looked up, confused, and I did the same, scanning for the source of the disturbance. Despite the class being immersed in silence, the ringing persisted audibly. My eyes landed on the windows of the classroom.

Outside, beyond the courtyard, a girl I had never seen before caught my attention. She appeared to be around sixteen, with a radiant and innocent beauty. I watched her lift the phone to her ear, realizing that it was her call, despite the distance and closed windows.

I noticed that Scott, like me, could hear her conversation.

"Mom, three calls on the first day is a bit much."

"I just wanted to make sure you arrived safely and that you have everything you need."

The girl rummaged through her bag, clearly anxious.

"I have everything except a pen. Oh my God, I can't believe I forgot a pen."

"Don't worry. I'm sure you can borrow one from another student."

"Okay, okay, I have to go. Love you."

Scott seemed completely captivated by the scene, as me. I saw the principal approaching the girl on the steps of the building. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting."

The principal guided her through the courtyard, and their conversation grew clearer as they approached the building.

"So you were telling me that San Francisco isn't where you grew up?"

"No, but we stayed there for over a year, which is unusual for my family. We move around a lot because of my dad's job."

Even as they vanished from sight, I could still hear the noise of the door opening and the clicking of their footsteps in the hallway.

"Well, let's hope Beacon Hills is your last stop for a while."

The classroom door opened, and all eyes turned up.

"Class, this is our new student, Allison Argent. Please do your best to make her feel welcome."

Allison. That was her name. I watched her walk to the only empty desk, situated right behind Scott. I noticed Scott holding his breath, unsure of what to do. I decided to take the initiative. I stood up, pulled a pen from my pocket, and walked over to her with a friendly smile. "Here, you can use mine."

Allison looked at me, surprised, and then smiled gratefully. "Thanks! How did you know?"

"That's usually how we welcome people to Beacon Hills." I flashed a grin.

Allison seemed amused, but the firm tone of MR. CURTIS interrupted our conversation.

"Mr. Miller... I appreciate your enthusiasm, but could you please return to your seat so we can start the lesson?"

With a wider smile, I nodded. "Sure, Mr. Curtis, I'll sit down right away."

I returned to my desk, not before throwing one last glance at Allison, who was trying to suppress a laugh. I felt Scott's eyes on me as I took my seat. Stiles, sitting next to him, was chuckling under his breath.

Scott looked a bit annoyed, but I shrugged it off. I settled back in my seat, maintaining a confident smile, wondering who this girl was that had caught both Scott's... and my... attention.

"Alright, let's begin with Kafka..."

I took one last look at Scott, still distracted by Allison. As I pretended to focus on Kafka, I knew that this girl had just made the day a lot more interesting.

🐺🌕

I was grabbing a snack from the vending machine when I noticed Lydia grabbing Allison by the arm, guiding her towards a group of guys gathered at the end of the hallway. Among them was Jackson, the captain of the lacrosse team, who shared my reputation as one of the best players in school.

I decided to approach them.

Scott, in the meantime, was following my every step, and I could feel his gaze on me, like a silent shadow.

"Hey, hi! I didn't think I'd see you again so soon," I said when my eyes met Allison's.

"Hey, pen guy."

"I'm James, by the way." I offered my hand with an affable smile, and she shook it, amused. God, I wished I could hold it forever.

"I see, is this how you made an impression?" Jackson interrupted with his usual annoying tone. "Did you give her your pen?"

We're friends, but sometimes I just can't understand how he manages to be so irritating.

Amused, I gave him a friendly nudge, trying to diffuse the tension.

Finally, Lydia spoke up, tired of our banter. "You're coming to the party, right Allison?"

"A party?" Allison seemed surprised.

"Friday night. You should come," Jackson continued, his enthusiasm evident.

"I can't. It's family night this Friday. But thanks for the invite," Allison replied, and my mind started racing. Why are you lying, girl?

Jackson, insensitive to the nuances, insisted. "Are you sure? Everyone's going after the scrimmage."

"You mean like football?" Allison asked, clearly confused.

Jackson and I exchanged a knowing glance: we both knew how this conversation would end.

"What's football?" I said, playing my part to lighten the mood.

Jackson went on, "Football's a joke here at Beacon. The real sport here is lacrosse. We've won the state championship the last three-"

Lydia, proudly pointed at Jackson. "Thanks to a certain team captain."

"It's funny how I never get any recognition. I'm the one who makes the most assists in every game," I grumbled, but my frustration melted away when Allison laughed.

"Oh sorry, James," Lydia interrupted, the attention turning back to us.

Jackson continued to boast, "Every season starts with a scrimmage to decide the new starting lineup. Have you ever seen lacrosse?"

Allison replied, "Actually, I'm not sure how it's played, other than-well, it's violent."

"Maybe you should come see for yourself. We have practice in a few minutes. You're not going anywhere, are you?" Jackson said, his eyes locked on her.

Allison looked at me and then said, "Well, no, I was just heading-"

"Perfect. Come with us," Lydia interrupted, with her usual authority.

"It seems like the ice queen decides for all of us," I commented, pointing at Lydia with an ironic smile.

Allison laughed again, and the sound was the most beautiful in the world. But why are you thinking about these things, James? Wake up.

Suddenly, I felt a shift in the atmosphere. Thanks to my werewolf nature, I had developed a surprising ability to pick up on others' emotions. The tension in the room was palpable, and from afar, I could clearly sense Scott's annoyance.

Scott was at the end of the hallway, visibly frustrated. I felt his discontent like a wave of cold air. His attention was fixed on me and Allison, and I knew his dismay was growing.

🐺🌕

The sound of the final bell signaled the end of classes, and the hallway instantly filled with students heading toward the exit, eager to kick off their afternoon. I, along with Allison, Lydia, and Jackson, made our way to the lacrosse field - our go-to spot for sports and some downtime.

"If you've never seen a lacrosse game," I said to Allison as we walked side by side, "today's the perfect day for it. Tryouts are always a lively event."

Allison looked at me, and I could see genuine interest in her eyes, a curiosity shimmering bright. "I've never seen one live," she admitted, "but I've heard it's pretty intense. It must be really exciting."

I shot her a knowing glance and smiled, trying to draw her in. "It is," I replied. "Especially when our team is out there. Jackson's good, but I give him a run for his money."

She smiled back, amused. "Oh really? What's your role?"

"I play center," I said, a hint of pride creeping into my voice. "Basically, I do the dirty work, but it's a lot of fun." I winked at her. "And if you want, I could show you some tricks."

Allison laughed, the sound bright and clear. Lydia, walking next to us, shot me a teasing look.

"James, when you're done flirting, let me know," she said, a playful smirk on her face.

Jackson chimed in, impatience evident in his tone, "Guys, enough with the small talk. We need to get ready for tryouts, and I intend to make a statement."

We reached the lacrosse field, spotting a group of students already waiting. Scott, dressed in his gear, was preparing. I gestured toward the field, speaking to Allison.

"This is the turf. Trust me, it's a whole different thing when you're in the heat of action," I said excitedly. "See you later."

As I walked away, I felt Allison's gaze lingering on me. Scott noticed us arriving and waved at Allison, who smiled back. I approached the tryout group, ready to prove myself. The whistle

[kmze]

Finally decided to do a TVD rewatch now that the 'verse is complete. Since I know how everything ends I thought it would be interesting to see how I react with that knowledge. Curious if my feelings might change about characters, ships, storylines etc. (obviously I am fully aware there's going some bias).

Adding my thoughts after I complete the half-way mark of each season (there is simply too many episodes to do a recap of each one). I am talking to the void mostly here but feel free to leave comments, thoughts on my posts for those who still follow me or just find this post. However, I am not here to argue, I simply DO NOT CARE whatever you think is right totally, please leave me alone.

Recaps tagged with k rewatches tvd

S1 Episodes 1-11

I am loving the dark atmosphere of the first season, feeling so much nostalgia! Nice to go back in time to when vampires were scary on this show. That's not really criticism because every supernatural show goes through this. The big bad must always be upped as it goes on but it was nice when the stakes were lower and the mythos was being developed.

Damon makes me feel so uncomfortable so far... I know he was the 'villian' for most of the beginning of the season but his treatment of Vicki and Caroline is just so predatory and gross. Which brings me to...

WHY HAS NO ONE GIVEN CAROLINE A GOD DAMN VERVAIN NECKLACE ALREADY!!! Stefan and Elena both know Damon was using her (and they know damn well he hasn't stopped). Her Mom has the vervain to give her and just has not for no reason!! GET AWAY FROM HER ALREADY! I got so mad when Damon was compelling her AGAIN in the 10th episode. I'm so glad she outlives them all, justice for my baby!

I'm sorry but Stefan is so creepy and self-righteous in the beginning, I remembered this but did not remember how bad it was. Also he did not need to kill Vicki, that pissed me off. I don't think it did as much when I first watch this (mind you that was literally 14+ years ago) but just knowing how freely everyone neck-snaps around here it was bullshit. His one cool moment remains when he told Logan he can't walk in the sun. The manipulative way he used Elena’s adoption to get her to forgive him had me rolling my eyes (then of course she used it against Jenna to get out of trouble lol).

I can't remember who the other vampire is who turned Logan, I'm thinking its Pearl's henchman but yeah I don't remember that part. I also didn't remember the crystal so I like that some of this is like a 'mystery' again.

I did remember that I thought Tyler was such a dick in the first season and yeah confirmed. Though now I remembered his Dad was an abusive piece of shit. Still, fuck Tyler for now.

Alaric looks so different I don't hate him (yet).

I still hate Matt #bias

The progression of Bonnie realizing her powers has been well done, again nice to just see the simple magic again. (Stefan totally wanted to bang Sheila back in the day... maybe they did)

Jeremy just met Anna and I still love them, I wish they got more time. They were the only 'ship I like in this season when it first aired.

The Bonnie, Elena and Caroline friendship is nice but I am annoyed they haven't done more to protect Caro from Damon. Especially when she doesn't know what's going on and they do (though Bonnie only just got all the deets). This might be magnified by my love of Caroline I admit but I hate the prop-y way she's being used so far.

I kinda rolled my eyes at the whole Katherine/Damon/Stefan stuff before Elena knew they were vamps because OMG Stefan is 17(!!!) Does no one thinks it's weird he's like "it was a long time ago" A LONG TIME AGO LIKE WHEN YOU WERE 12?! They should have made him at least 20, just bothers me.

I liked that not every vampire had a daylight ring and it was more of a novelty. That is something that could have stuck more in the later seasons.

Lines that made me laugh:

Caroline: Yeah, Elena wasn't so lucky today. It's only because you missed summer camp. God, I don't know how you're ever going to learn the routines. (Bonnie offers to help her) I guess we can put her in the back. (all right in front of Elena lmao oh Caroline never change)

Caroline: So, Elena...how long do you think this fight with Stefan's gonna last? Is it...like a permanent thing? (eyes on the prize baby! lol)

Stefan: (imitating Damon) Now that the secret society of vampire haters is off our back, I can go back to my routine of how can I destroy Stefan’s life this week. (never gets old!)

Damon: *shoots Logan with wooden bullets* Payback's a bitch, isn't it? (all in the delivery here lmao kudos to Ian)

[kitsunemisoup]

I played Your Last Day on Earth, and timed each section for 1 minute before moving on. Here's the final result.

~~~~~

12:00. I woke up, and looked out through my window. Seeing the city so empty never feels right. It's even more of a corpse than those things, sometimes. It's... creepy. But in a dreadful kind of way.

~~~~~

13:00. A flock of birds is blocking the sun right now. I'm glad there's still some life out here. I haven't seen anything alive that wasn't me since before it happened. Maybe it isn't so bad.

~~~~~

14:00. I found a photo of the city in a backpack I found while scavenging through the pharmacy. It's recent, but instead of dreadful it's... almost peaceful. Like the stress of daily life had vanished, instead of far greater stress replacing it. I don't know why, but I put it in my pocket.

~~~~~

15:00. There's music playing outside the store I'm in. Sounds like a poor quality speaker, or a siren, almost. I hear laughter getting closer to it. I need to hide.

~~~~~

16:00. I was breaking into an old house when I heard barking. There was a dog there. How it stayed alive this long, I don't know. I'm glad I'm not the only one out here, though.

~~~~~

17:00. Finally found some food in that motel. When I was looking around, the sky went completely dark for half an hour, pitch black. Terrified me. It feels like whatever caused this isn't natural.

~~~~~

18:00. I'm a dumbass. The electricity went off today, and I never charged any backups. Total loss of information or direction. The only thing I have is a crusty old map so I can't leave the city now.

~~~~~

19:00. There's a storm coming. Like, a huge storm. I would think it's a natural disaster, but something this size would've been forecast before the apocalypse, right? I need shelter. This convenience store around the corner might be a good idea.

~~~~~

20:00. I wonder if this is the last sunset I'll ever see. It's depressing to think about it, but I don't think I have long left. I've not been feeling great, and the laughter is something I hear too often now. This might really be it.

~~~~~

21:00. I smell something strong. Like iron. Strong enough to lead me to the source. I found a horde of them, in the street. Smiles on their faces. Laughter. I pray to whatever God is left that they didn't see me.

~~~~~

22:00. There was a fire in the hotel I was sleeping in. I don't know why, but I got really angry. I didn't think I was strong enough, but I kicked down the fire escape door. I had boarded up the main entrance.

~~~~~

23:00. I keep thinking about the day this happened. I don't know how, but it's like someone removed all of the details. I can only remember the screams. The laughter. I've been forgetting other stuff, too.

~~~~~

00:00. I'm outside, sitting at a campfire I built. The wind keeps blowing and putting the flame out. I wish I paid attention in... did I do boy scouts?

~~~~~

01:00. I'm not fucking alone. One of them is outside, laughing. I'm being quiet but it won't FUCKING LEAVE. This house is on the outskirts of the city. I keep hearing it knocking.

~~~~~

02:00. It's silent now. I don't believe it's gone. That basta WINDOW BROK

~~~~~

03:00. There was an earthquake, or something. That thing broke its neck. Good riddance. I think I broke my foot, walking doesn't feel right anymore. I feel awful, still. No surprise.

~~~~~

04:00. There was a loud splatting sound. When I went to check what it was, it seemed like somebody jumped off a building. They looked crushed, but they still had a FUCKING SMILE. I can't take this anymore. I don't understand what makes them so happy.

~~~~~

05:00. There was something in the air. Spores, I think. I think I breathed them in. My lungs hurt. It's getting harder to breathe.

~~~~~

06:00. My last sunrise. It's so beautiful. I want to be hopeful, but I keep coughing up blood. I don't feel good anymor

~~~~~

07:00. I think I saw someone. A normal person. I tried to get their attention, but I keep coughing. They ran, I think. The blood on my hand is pitch black.

~~~~~

08:00. Rain. I don't care about getting sick, now. This journal is already covered in my blood. It's so hard to breathe. The rain is calming, but what's happening to me?

~~~~~

09:00. I found another journal. It seems like it ended about a few hours before I found it. I just sat down and read it. It brought a smile to my face, for some reason.

~~~~~

10:00. I felt somethig in my stomac, not normal. It hurts. I keep laughing. Iron scent

~~~~~

11:00. Need ea t, hung r. am st arving cant stop smileing help me help me rotting

~~~~~

12:00. sky dark a m laughin g ha h h a t chy where is everyon ?

[links-in-time]

Links in Time

Part 17

The Chain pull Maari and Warriors out of the Yiga hideout, but are less than pleased by their actions.

Legend and Hyrule performed the counter spell they had used countless times to close the dark portal. Once again the runes the Yiga Master had drawn were scorched into the ground. When the two spellcasters were finished they both rounded on Maari. Hyrule to see to her fresh wounds, Legend with his sharp tongue.

"What the f**k were you two idiots thinking?! Coming here by yourselves with no backup!"

"Language Vet," Twilight uttered, shifting out of wolf form nearby.

"What? Don't tell me you disagree?!" Legend retorted.

"Not at all. This was a dumb move by all our standards," Twi grunted, fixing Wars with a hard stare.

"If Hyrule hadn't noticed you two leaving you'd both be dead!" Four added, though he sounded a little more compassionate than the other two.

Meanwhile Wild returned to the Yiga hideout amid their discussion. He was a little taken aback to find the Vet and Twilight shouting at Wars, while Hyrule and Sky were trying to keep Maari still so they could examine her wounds.

"Are you sure you don't want a potion? I'm sure one of us has a fairy," Sky asked Maari over and over.

"I'm sure." She insisted, again. "Let's just get out of here first, and if Hyrule wants he can take another look in the morning." Maari tried to shrug them off.

"You shouldn't be so flippant," Time interjected. "If that wound gets infected it'll be a lot harder to heal."

"I told you its fine," Maari hissed. Still, she clutched at her right arm with her left hand.

"You shouldn't have pushed me out of the way like that," Sky stated, hands on his hips, unable to look Maari in the eyes.

"What was I supposed to do?" Maari rounded on the Skyloftian. "Just let it grab you? Maybe pull you through that portal? That was never going to happen Sky."

"I could have handled it," Sky retorted, his usually calm eyes darkening a little.

"... not to mention none of us knows what happens in our own time if one of us dies on this journey!" Twilight practically yelled in Wars face.

Still Wars remained silent. Taking the abuse from his brothers without dishing out any in return.

"Dumb soldier," Legend grunted under his breath.

That almost got a rise out of Wars, but he pushed it down along with everything else. They were right. Maybe not about everything. But he had been an idiot. He'd been selfish and reckless and for the first time in his life he hadn't thought his plan through. Wars glanced sideways at Maari, stuck between Hyrule and Sky. Sky appeared to be berating her in the same manner as Twi and Lege.

Maari. Had his feelings for her really blinded him so badly, that he had walked willingly into an enemy stronghold without a plan. No, they had a plan, but the plan had changed. Wars shifted his gaze to Melyn, still kneeling on the floor with Wind and now Wild each with a hand on her shoulders. Maari's mother, alive and well. Wars remembered that first morning by the shrine where Maari had told him about her mother. How she had gone missing when Maari was just a child. So much had changed since then.

Wars closed his eyes and tried to stay calm. He was so used to being in control. In control of making plans, in control of his troops, of the Chain (to a degree). When the prospect of his own death had hung inches away from him, there had been no control. Yet, he hadn't panicked. He had laid his soul bare to Maari and that had been enough. It wasn't that the fight had gone out of him. As soon as a glimmer of hope had appeared, his instincts kicked in again. He couldn't really explain it but, dying with Maari by his side had felt... not right but, acceptable. That didn't make sense to him either, so he shook the thoughts from his mind and tuned back into the world around him.

"Alright that's enough. Let's get out of this place before the Yiga decide to come back. Maari you'll let Hyrule heal you when we're back in the bunker, understood?" Time announced, drawing everyone's attention.

Maari nodded begrudgingly and Hyrule stopped fussing quite so much.

"Four and Legend, keep an eye on our prisoner." Time continued. "Wild, I want you to take Maari and the Captain back first."

Wild stepped forward and teleported Wars and Maari back to Gerudo Town without a word. Bringing a couple of them at a time, Wild returned the other heroes to the underground chamber beneath the palace. Wind and Twilight had found Wars and Maari's gear stored near the Yiga prison and returned it to them. Hardly anyone spoke to them, which they both agreed felt worse than being yelled at.

Riju and Zelda were waiting for them when they got back. Two guards were summoned to the bunker door to escort Melyn to the palace cells. She left without a fuss and promised not to be any trouble.

Hyrule worried everyone further when he announced that Maari's wound was strange. He had healed the cut on her arm without difficulty, but the claw marks left by the gloom hand seemed to be fighting his magic. Time was troubled and Wild attempted to help by providing Hyrule with dark clumps to add to his healing potions. They seemed to take the edge off Maari's pain and the darkness around the edges of her wounds receeded.

When Hyrule was satisfied that some progress had been made, he bandaged her arm and left Maari to get some rest. Soon after Wars came to check on her in the room she was using in the bunker, closely followed by Time. The old hero sighed, crossed his arms and stared at the floor.

"Go ahead Link, I know we deserve it," Wars uttered, unable to look up at Time.

It felt a little strange being on the receiving end of a big brother talk. Especially from his Sprite.

"Please," Maari spoke before Time could open his mouth. "It was my idea to go up there. I convinced the Captain to come with me. I wanted to know what happened to my mother and I put us both in terrible danger. I'm so sorry I endangered the rest of you Time. I wasn't thinking clearly at all. I made a terrible judgement and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't trust me to make a single decision again. But please know how sorry I am and how greatful I am that you came to save us."

Wars looked surprised by Maari's admission. After all, he had encouraged her to go.

"Is that all true Cap?" Time asked, fixing his eye on Wars.

"Mostly. Except it wasn't just Maari's idea. I urged her to go to the Yiga base. I wanted to get something done and I didn't think about the consequences of us getting caught. You have my apology too, and I'll apologise to the others tomorrow. They deserve that much from me at the very least."

"I'm glad both of you realise how dumb you were and exactly what your decisions almost cost you." Time sighed. "But I don't want to lecture you today. You're both adults and you're free to make your own decisions, but you have to realise those decisions have consequences. Maari you once talked to me about respect, I may not be your superior but I hope you will respect my orders when I say you are not to leave this city again."

Maari nodded. "I do respect you Time. And yes, I will obey your order."

"Same goes for you Wars. You set one foot outside this city again and you'll be answering to the whole chain, not just me."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"Glad to hear it. Now Maari I suggest you go back to your own quarters. Wars I'm going to tell Twi to keep an eye on you." Time concluded as he stepped back out of the room and walked away.

Maari and Link looked at each other through sideways glances.

"I'm..." Maari began but Link stopped her.

"Don't apologise to me. We both made a big mistake tonight. The Old Man is right, we should have known better. You were distracted by finding your mother, I was distracted by..." He paused, looking at Maari directly. "Anyway, you should probably do as he says and get going. You deserve some rest after the night you've had."

Warriors got to his feet and slowly walked toward the door. For a moment Maari stayed where she was, watching him go.

"Link, I know tonight was probably the worst mistake I'll ever make in my life. But, thank you. I should never have let you go with me, but thank you for sticking by me."

"Hey, I'd stick by you no matter what. Goodnight Mar."

Without another word Wars left the room. Maari wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed her eyes shut. She was fighting back tears as the gravity of the nights events threatened to send her into a spiral. She had managed to hold herself together while the others were talking and tending to her. But now she was alone she had no one to perform for. The dam broke and tears flooded down her face. She buried her mouth in her knees to prevent anyone from hearing her violent sobs. Her back shook and for a while Maari struggled to draw in deep breaths.

Eventually she cried herself into exhaustion. Wiping her face and collecting her things, Maari left the room and the chamber and climbed back up to her guest room in the palace. There she fell into an uneasy sleep filled with nightmares about portals and gloom. Most disturbing of all were the images of the heroes laying dead around her, while the mad Yiga Master cackled over their bodies. She slept fitfully and without rest until the late hours of the morning.

***

"I think we have a lot to talk about," Time said, as he began the meeting.

Everyone had gathered in the dining hall of the bunker, including Zelda, Riju and Maari.

"But first I think there's two people here who have something to say." He continued, nodding at Wars and Maari.

The two of them looked at each other and heaved a heavy sigh. They both got to their feet and addressed the rest of the group.

"We want to apologise to all of you for putting you in danger," said Wars.

"What we did was reckless and irresponsible. I acted without thinking about anyone but myself. I put Wars in danger and dragged you all into rescuing us. I wouldn't have blamed any of you for leaving us there. And although I'm greatful that you didn't, I'm so sorry to have put you all in harms way." Maari added. She bowed to the group and stood waiting.

"I'm sorry to all of you too, I wasn't thinking clearly and from now on I wouldn't blame you if you didn't trust me to make decisions." Wars stared down at the table, unable to look any of his brothers in the eye.

There was a long uncomfortable moment of silence. Zelda and Riju looked at each other, waiting for the boys to speak.

"Well," Wind began and the others were a little surprised that he was the first to speak. "None of us got killed. We found out where the dark portals are coming from, and it sounds like you both learned your lesson."

"Agreed, what they did was stupid but I doubt they'll do anything like it again," Twilight added, giving his friend a comforting smile.

"Stupid, dangerous, outright foolish," Four listed off, counting on his fingers. "But how many of us can say we haven't done anything similar?"

There were nods and grunts of agreement.

"Hey, I infiltrated the Yiga by myself," Wild admitted. "But I always had a quick way out if I needed it. Rushing in without a plan was pretty reckless."

"Alright, I think they've had enough. Let's drop it now," Time urged.

Maari and Wars took their seats and the the real meeting began

"Well, thanks to Maari we actually have a better idea of where your dark portals are coming from." Zelda said cheerfully, attempting to lift the mood of the room. "I found this book in the library," she held up the tome Maari had seen before. "Which has references to an ancient grimoire which was lost centuries ago. It talks of the powers held within the runes of the text and what they could do."

"Does it say where it came from?" Legend asked.

"I'm afraid not, the author of this book just says it was discovered bricked up in a hidden passage of the castle. But some time after that it was stollen and it disappeared from the records. But there are runes in here that match the ones you've seen before and the ones left behind by the portal the Yiga summoned last night." Zelda concluded.

"So it's been the Yiga this whole time," Wild uttered, his fingers laced together in front of him. "But why do the portals keep appearing in different eras? I thought the Yiga clan were unique to our time period."

"They are," Zelda replied. "This volume describes the many uses of this ancient grimoire. How the runes could be used to travel though time."

"So to stop the portals, we need to get this grimoire back," said Sky.

"Then what? Do we destroy it?" Four asked.

"I'm not sure. I'd need to read the grimoire to know how best to deal with it," Zelda replied.

"If someone thought it was dangerous enough to brick it up in a wall, I'm guessing it's going to be too powerful to just burn it." Riju added.

"Well first things first, we need to find the thing again. Now the Yiga know we're onto them they'll be difficult to find," Zelda mused.

"I think I know someone who might have some answers," Maari said quietly, drawing everyone's attention.

"You don't have to talk to her if you don't want to." Wars said softly, wanting to reach out and touch Maari to offer her some comfort.

"No it's fine. I'd like to know why my mother tried to kill me."

***

Maari and Zelda stood to one side of Riju's throne, as the three of them waited for Malyn to be brought up from the jail. Maari couldn't describe how she was feeling. She was glad of the breeze coming through the windows as she was sweating more than usual. Her feet shifted from side to side and she didn't know what to do with her hands. What did she usually do with her hands?

"Are you alright?" Zelda whispered beside her.

"I'm not sure. It's been six years since I've seen my mother. I've grown up so much since then. And she... I don't even know who she is."

Maari was about to find out who Melyn was as two guards entered the throne room, each with a hand holding one of Melyn's arms. She was brought forward and pushed to her knees before Riju.

"What is your name prisoner?" Riju asked, summoning her queenly voice.

"Melyn, your highness," she replied, looking up then bowing her head in reverence.

"Do you know why you have been brought before us?" Riju continued.

"I believe so your grace. I was told you wish to question me." Melyn kept her head bowed as she spoke.

"Yes, we have some questions for you Melyn. You will answer any and all questions put to you, understood?"

Melyn nodded and Zelda took a step forward.

"You were a commander of the Yiga. How much did you know about how the Master opened up the dark portals?"

"I only knew what was necessary for me to perform my duties. I knew that the ritual to open the portals and summon dark beings required blood magic. It was part of my job to bring sacrifices for the ritual." Melyn explained. She hung her head low, her shoulders drooping. "It was the part of my undercover mission I disliked the most."

"Undercover, who gave you this mission?" Zelda asked.

"I gave it to myself Ma'am. During the calamity the Yiga prospered. Someone had to act to prevent them from using the grimoire. If I hadn't convinced them I had defected from the Sheikah, they would have figured out the runes and the ritual much sooner."

"But why didn't you tell anyone?" Maari asked, speaking up for the first time.

"I..." Melyn began, but Maari wasn't finished.

"Why didn't you tell Impa, or Purah what you were planning." As she spoke Maari's voice grew louder and started to crack. "Why didn't you tell your husband? Why didn't you say goodbye to your children?!"

There was a long pause as mother and daughter stared into each other's eyes. Maari's full of fire, Melyn's resigned and regretful.

"I have always regretted not being able to say goodbye to you Maari," Melyn said slowly, maintaining gentle eye contact with her daughter. "I wished I could have gone back to Kakariko and explained everything. But I was carefully watched for so long after I joined the Yiga, I couldn't sneak away for even a day. So I resigned myself to the realisation that my family would never know what happened to me. I hoped that I would fulfil my goal as soon as possible. Destroy the grimoire, defeat the Yiga Master and get back home to you. But when Master Kogah survived and thrived in the depths, I knew I had to carry on my mission."

"So you've been living as a Yiga for six years?" Zelda reitteratiied.

"Indeed. However now my cover has been blown I won't be able to complete the task I set myself." Melyn sighed, then turned back to her daughter. "I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am for abandoning you and our family Maari. I hope one day you can forgive me."

"You were going to sacrifice me to the Yiga Master," Maari replied bluntly.

"No!" Melyn exclaimed, almost rising to her feet. "No Maari, I would never have allowed it. I would have fought to my last breath to get you out of that hell hole. When I saw you in that store room my heart sank to the ground. I couldn't believe you had appeared in the hideout. I had to play my part to keep up appearances. But I was working on a plan to get you out. However, if your friends hadn't arrived in time, I don't know how I was going to keep you alive. Please believe me, I would have done anything. I would do anything to keep you safe."

Maari considered her mother's words for a long time. She looked back down at her kneeling form. Melyn was still wearing her Yiga uniform, but her face still held much of the expression Maari remembered from childhood. She sighed and stepped forward until she was standing in front of Melyn. She dropped to one knee and even laid a hand on Melyn's shoulder.

"I've had my own apologies to make today. I made a terrible judgement and I put my friends in danger. I'm more greatful than I can believe that you're alive. I understand why you did what you did, but it will take me some time to forgive you. I know Karu and father will be overjoyed to know you are safe." Maari wiped her palm across her cheek as tears begun to spill.

Melyn nodded to Maari.

"My beautiful daughter, you've grown into an incredibly strong woman."

Maari got back up to her feet and turned to Riju.

"Might I be excused your Highness?"

"Of course," Riju nodded.

Maari turned and left the throne room. She walked up the stairs and kept walking until she reached a low wall with an aquaduct flowing past. Maari slipped off her shoes and sat on the wall with her feet dangling in the cool water. The sun had just dropped past its highest point and the air was dry and hot. But Maari's mind and heart were racing. The combination of the cool running water and the airless afternoon helped clear her head, as silent tears slipped down her face.

While she thought about her mother, another face swam into her thoughts. Link had been so selfless throughout their ordeal. He could have run during their battle. He could have saved himself and gone to get help. But he had stayed. He had stayed with Maari. Without knowing what the Yiga had in store for them. Without knowing if they would live to see another sunrise. He had stayed with her. Maari didn't know if that meant Link was stupid or madly in love with her. She chuckled to herself. Of course, both was a possibility.

< Part 16 : Part 18 >

[dragneto]

For the wrapped ask: 16, 17, 18, 28, 29, 30 (sorry I'm greedy) <3

all excellent questions, and thank you very much for being curious enough to ask <3

16: What’s your most common “additional tags” tag?

Ooh, interesting. in no particular order, I think Developing Relationship was used pretty often, along with Introspection, Set in a Previous Simulation (for that one fandom specifically, of course), and, uh… Masturbation. :D

17: Your favourite character to write this year?

Hanno Tauber, always. but my single foray into Midnight Mass fic made Father Paul a very close second <3

18: The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Riley Flynn from my fic …in vitam aeternam, mostly because of the situation he was in, and because his experiences are so incredibly specific that I found them difficult to cover. that’s not to say it wasn’t fun, though, the dialogue cadence was easy and enjoyable! and I got to read a lot of Catholic stuff to prepare for it.

28: Favourite work you wrote this year?

This feels like a… difficult one to answer. :( I’m going to say… a tie between The Old Witch and the Good Man (The Quarry, Travis & Laura) and cave-in (Dark, Jonas/Noah). I love them for wildly different reasons—for the former, it’s because of the fun I had writing a time loop fic with unconventional formatting, and for the latter, it’s creating the emotional catharsis that I wanted these two to have at that time in their lives.

29: Favourite line/passage you wrote this year?

Hmm. you know, I keep coming back to this, from staring and a-shakin’ like a leaf (1899, Ramiro/Ángel):

Ángel choked a noise that might have been ‘quiero’ or ‘Ramiro’, and it didn’t matter which he said, or whether he had truly said anything intelligible in any language; he could speak and he could walk and he was not lying dead somewhere in a shadowed corner of Prometheus with pieces of his hand splattered across his own face, broken bits of flesh and bone glued to his skin by a hot spray of blood from a sidearm that shouldn’t have been on Prometheus in the first place, its wielder snarling righteous bloody fury and prepared to mete out divine justice at any cost, too focused on a dangling slab of meat to see the snarling wolf behind it; the same look Ramiro had seen on Tove’s face, judging him for passing his own judgement, for making an impossible call that was really not all that impossible to make when the only other option was to watch the rest of Ángel splinter and spray across the wall.

there was just something really fun about delivering a very important piece of backstory in one incredibly long run-on sentence. :)

30: Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I don’t know if I can say that anything truly caught me by surprise, but I did learn lots of neat HTML tricks that I was able to use to spice up some fics with unconventional formatting. so I’d say that was very fun. :’)

[mangolazyartist]

I don't really know if I've read this somewhere of if I just thought about it but here it goes.

• • •

Regulus lying in the water ready to accept death soon finds himself swimming back to the surface knowing his brother will think he died serving the dark lord.

Kretchur is gone.. was he under long enough for he to think he died?

That's not what's important, he needs to explain everything to Sirius, Remus, lily,James.... especially James.

As he got out he needed to know where they were. He couldn't go to Dumbledore not again after he asked him for help..

He was so deep in thought he didn't notice he was still wet, and no one around him seemed to notice as he walked in plan sight.

He went to his brother's flat, he could hear screaming and throwing... sounded like sirius heard some bad news, maybe one of his friends died in the war. For marlin sake he hopes that wasn't the case.

Being to frantic he didn't realize he went threw the door instead of opening it, as he entered he can see almost everything is destroyed... he followed the sounds of his brother to find Lupin is now calming sirius down, sirius was sobbing. Yet Regulus couldn't make out what was being said so he slowly approached, Lupin looked up from holding sirius staring in the direction regulus was but didn't say a thing, almost like he didn't see him.

" how could they" , "he was still in school" , " he did everything they asked" he heard threw sobs. He tried asking who he was talking about but found nothing came out but water.. still it didn't get a reaction from the 2 infront of him.

He tried touching them to get their attention, nothing.

He left not able to take the pretending he wasn't there. Even when Lupin clearly saw him walk in... or did he.

He managed to find the potters resistance, it was actually easy to find considering he was under the impression he needed a secret code to get to them.

As he arrives he could hear James crying. He rushed in to see a red face James being held by a clearly pregnant lily.

Kneeling infront of James holding his hand, he looked at lily for answers to who died, still nothing.

"Reggie... how... why..." were the only words Potter was able to say between sobs.

Was it him he was talking to or was he talking about him. His cold wet hands still holding on the the hands of the sobbing James.

Then he heard lily speak. " they could still find him, I know Reggie has been gone awhile b..." she was cut off as James stood. Regulus had fallen back by surprise. They couldn't see him could they?

"He's dead and you know it, they probably found out, they probably killed him themselves and covered it up" James horse voice spoke.

Regulus stood up, he was right there and they were talking about him , Regulus Black, as if he were dead. How could that be he was right there. " Jamie..." he finally got out " I'm right here, can't you see me."

Nothing

James continued to grow mad as he was still crying trying to accept the death of his best friends brother, his first love, his soul mate. Regulus tried everything he could to show himself.

The more he tried the more he realized he was like a ghost, no he is a ghost stuck at 17, he died in that cave, lily is pregnant probably about the burst any moment, she wasn't a few weeks ago.

Wait

Regulus started looking for the date, anything to know how long he was gone. He left the room the 2 were grieving to find out how long he was there.

May 30th, 1980

That's not right its supposed to be 1979 and it was definitely not may, was it?

He started spiraling, he went to everyone he knew to find someone who can see him. Even if that ment confronting dumbledore.

Dumbledore being his last option he went to hogwarts, school seemed empty, of course it was he was there at midnight. Looking everywhere he finally went to Dumbledore office.

There stood Dumbledore at his desk. He looks at the young black brother. Or at least in his direction regulus thought no one else has been able to see me so why could he.

" I see the rumor is true."

Was he talking to himself?

Regulus walked closer and slowly zigzagged to see if it was him the headmaster was watching.

It was, he could see him, but how?

" it seems Mr black you have died. A very wet death may I say" he said in a calm voice

How could he be so calm? A dead student is right infront of him. A dead student who begged him for help , who shouldn't even be here despite how desperate he was to be seen, to be heard.

"You..." Regulus started " you can see me?"

"Of course, it's not impossible to see the dead"

Regulus hated this, the only person who could see him was the one who wouldn't help. Even though he new this he still tried.

"Please protect them, James, sirius.."

Dumbledore moved around his desk " there's nothing I can do if something were to happen, the Potters are under a protection spell already"

" Move them, tell them Pettigrew..." he was cut off

" any information you give me won't be useful, it has no evidence, no reliable sources "

" I'm right here telling you!!, check his arm he has the mark!"

" so do you I'm afraid you can't be trusted my dear boy"

" I was a spy and you know that"

Dumbledore looks at his peninsula then back at the boy " for which side tho, you weren't necessarily fully helpful"

Regulus couldn't take it , he tried throwing things, hitting the man but yet again nothing happened. Dumbledore went over to the peninsula to remove the memory of their conversations right infront of him.

He tried to stop it but he seemed to have no effect on the world.

For awhile he kept trying to get threw to someone. But after awhile he kinda just watched. He watched his best friend pandora have a beautiful baby girl and Jamie have a boy who was the spinning image of him but of course with lily's eyes.

He'd notice for a little the young ones saw him so he'd play with them, he watched over them.

Then it happened, Pandora died, then the potters died. He couldn't do anything, he tried and felt to helpless.

He watched his brother get wrongfully accused, he watched as Pettigrew ran off. He watched as snape came and cry holding lily. He watched them take Harry away. What else could he do?

He noticed lily and James crossed over quickly, he didn't even get to see them.

That's when he realized, why was he stuck there? Why couldn't he cross over with the rest?

He went back to the cave to try and cross over. He layed in the water.

Ever so often he'd try again, he was bound to the water.

Then he thought he saw James and tried grabbing him. Asking him to help.

Why didn't he recognize him? Why wouldn't he help?

It was harry all grown up. And he, regulus black, had almost took him down with him.

So regulus accepted his fate to stay there forever in that cave to be alone because all he can do now is cause harm and pain to others and why would dumbledore ever help him after he let him die, let James Potter die, let Lily Evans die even with his warning.

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

The Grey Wolves Series: Prince of Wolves

A review

I would like to preface this review with the fact that when I first read this series in highschool, I hyperfixated on it for several months. I was 15. I still believed myself to be cishet. Quite a bit has changed since then.......and now that I think about that was 9 years ago. Fucking hell.

This series is. Not good. I dont know much about Quinn Loftis' life (tho she did follow me on Twitter when I still had twitter) but from what I could gather is that shes a stay at home mom and very Christian. Not so Christian that she was anti Harry Potter. Im likely going to keep a twilight and Harry Potter reference counter as I reread this series.

This review will likely be a bit disjointed. I have never written a second draft for anything in my life and I dont plan to start now. This is mostly for fun and I likely have adhd and struggle to articulate my thoughts so. Fuck it.

From what I remember of this series there is. A lot going on. The first couple of books follow Jacquelyn and Fane. The next couple focus on one of Jacquelyn's best friends, Jen, and her love interest, Decebel. The next two on their third friend Sally and her love interest Colin. I'm actually pretty interested to see how much I actually remember of these books. All 3 girls are very much the stereotypical YA novel protagonist.

Unfortunately this series frequently uses the word g*psy for one of its supernatural types. As I wouldnt class these characters as Romani, I will be referring to them as "healers" after their initial introduction as I dont want to have to constantly type out g*psy and they ARE healers. (As far as I can remember, Sally is not Romani (and yes, spoiler alert, Sally is a healer), tho she IS one of the few, if not the only POC in this series. So....not great, Quinn).

I'll likely only review the first 6 or 7 books (I don't remember how many of them I got through exactly but definitely the first 6), tho according to Google there are now EIGHTEEN books in this series. I know she also had a spin off series about healers (I think I read part of the first book of that series). But holy shit. 18. Thats a lot of fuckin books for there being almost no fandom when the series was still at 10 books. She may not be a great writer but shes got passion and drive I'll give her that. And that's not even counting the spin off series. Of which there are 5 books. Or the 4 unrelated series she did before Grey Wolves. Goddamn shes been busy.

Im writing all of this BEFORE rereading the first book. But some reviews give a first impression which i cannot do as I read these books for the first time almost a decade ago. Also I kinda wanna see if I can summarize the books before I read them to see how much I remember, cuz again, this is for fun and testing my memory has always been fun for me (I used to be able to recite the entire plot of the 39 clues series from memory and I would do so often).

SO

Book One. Prince of Wolves.

Jacquelyn *last name redacted as I cant remember it* is a 17 (almost 18) year old girl about to go into her senior year of highschool. She lives in a small town in Texas with her single mom. Her dad walked out before she was born (or slightly after) and she doesn't know much about him. Her mom is *quirky*. She has two best friends named Jen and Sally. Jen is loud and vulgar and sarcastic while Sally is quiet and shy.

The neighbors across the street from Jacque are going to be hosting a foreign exchange student from romania this year. Jacque finds herself instantly drawn to this tall foreign boy with dark hair and "piercing blue eyes" and after making eye contact with him, begins to hear a voice in her head that she is SURE is his voice despite having never heard him talk before. Spoiler alert: she is correct!

The begin communicating through this psychic connection frequently. He teaches her how to shut him out so he's not hearing her every thought. He informs her that she is a werewolf!!! Or at the very least, half werewolf!!! They are True Mates™️, which is why they are able to communicate telepathically!!!

She goes into her yard to sun bathe and Fane gets Big Mad™️ as her True Mate™️ markings are on display which is a Big No No for werewolves. She doesn't know what the fuck hes talking about. She goes inside to discover what appears to be a tattoo on her (....side? I think? Perhaps on her back).

Jacque has MANY sleepovers at her house with jen and Sally to talk to them about all of these developments.

She eventually tells her mom and discovers!!! Her dad is a werewolf!!! But her mom is not so she and him couldn't have been True Mates™️ and its slightly hinted that he left because he found his True Mate™️ so even though he loved her, he could not stay away from his mate.

Jacque starts having dead animals left outside her house. At first she thinks its Fane doing a weird wolfy courting thing and gets understandably upset by this. Fane confirms that while it IS a wolfy courting thing, HE is not the culprit!

Apparently there is a pack in the area!!! And one of the wolves in this pack is interested in Jacquelyn!!! And Fane is intruding on their territory!!! And the alpha of the pack (a man in his mid to late 20s) is challenging Fane for his mate!!! The challenge is to the death!!! But don't worry!!! Fane is calling in his parents and their pack to help him handle this situation and keep Jacquelyn safe if he loses!!!

At this point they inform the family that fane is living with about what is going on. They are surprisingly chill about the whole thing. Even with having several of Fane's pack members stay with them. Theyre Very Cool People.

We meet Fane's parents. Vasile and Mina (I actually did look up Vasile's name as I kept wanting to call him Vlad and I knew THAT wasn't right)

[bleachanimefan1]

In Noctem Part 17

Not A Great Start,

"Arthur! Look who's here!" Molly called out, waving her husband over. Fae saw Arthur as he stepped through the crowd, making his way over to his wife. His eyes widen in surprise when he saw Fae. "Fae?"

"Hey, Mr. Weasley!" Fae smiled.

"Fae!" Arthur smiled, giving Fae a big hug almost crushing her. "When I heard that you quit the Ministry, I thought that something terrible had happened. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Dumbledore offered me a job to teach at Hogwarts. So, I decided to take it for the time being." She told him.

"That's great to hear. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and talk to the Grangers." Arthur said and walked away, heading towards Hermione's parents, talking with them. It was then that Fae had noticed that Harry, Ron and his siblings and Hermione had disappeared. She scanned the crowd and saw them near the entrance to the bookshop, along with Draco Malfoy. This can't be good. She started to make her way towards them, pushing and shoving through the crowd.

"Bet you love that, didn't you, Potter? Famous Harry Potter, can't even go to a bookshop without making the front page." Draco sneered at Harry. Harry narrowed his eyes at him, silently glaring at Draco. Ginny stepped up, getting in between them.

"Leave him alone."

"Oh look, Potter. You've got yourself a girlfriend." Draco snickered. A long cane tapped Draco on his shoulder, stopping him. Draco tensed up and so did everyone else as they saw a man with long platinum blond hair dressed in dark robes.

"Now, now, Draco, play nicely." Draco's father pushed him swiftly aside. He fixed his gaze on Harry. "Mr. Potter. Lucius Malfoy, we meet at least." He reached his hand out towards Harry and Harry slowly shook his. Harry was pulled closer, and Lucius pulled back Harry's hair away from his forehead, revealing his lightning bolt scar. "Forgive me your scar is legend as of course is the wizard who gave it to you." Harry stepped away from him.

"Voldemort killed my parents. He was nothing more than a murder."

"You must be very brave to mention his name or very foolish." Lucius Malfoy smiled.

"Fear the name only increases fear within itself." Hermione said.

"And you must be, Ms. Granger. Yes, Draco has told me all about you and your parents. Muggles, aren't they?" He smirked, looking over towards Hermione's parents who were still talking to Mr. Weasley. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him, saying nothing. 

"What's going on here?" Everyone turned and saw Fae, standing behind the group, making her way towards Lucius. Lucius eyes widen as soon as he saw her and smirked.

"Ah, Miss Craft. I didn't think I would see you again with you suddenly dropping your job from the Ministry. Why is that?"

"Dumbledore offered me a job to teach at Hogwarts so I took it. Who wouldn't jump at the chance?" Fae answered, keeping her eyes on him. Lucius nodded then turned his attention towards Ron and Fred and George.

"Let me see, red hair, vacant expression, tatty secondhand book. You must be the Weasleys."

Arthur walked over to the group. "Children, its mad in here. Let's go outside." He turned towards Lucius and the two stared each other down.

"Arthur."

"Lucius."

"Your time here at the Ministry, Arthur, all those extra raids. I do hope they pay you overtime. But judging by the state of this, I'd say not." Lucius smirked. "I'll see you soon, being a disgrace to the name of wizard, if they don't even pay you well for it."

"We have a very different idea what disgraces of wizard, Malfoy." Arthur told him.

"Clearly. Associated with Muggles and I thought your family could sink no lower." Lucius frowned. "I'll see you at work." He left the shop and Draco sneered back at Harry and followed after his father.

"See you at school."

Fae had arrived back at Hogwarts and started to sort through her belongings, unpacking them. She used some altering spells to transform some of the walls giving it a more rustic gothic appearance. The shades dimmed the moonlight as it shined through, giving it a greener lighting. Fae smiled and walked over to Dipper and her owl's cages, unlocking them so they can roam around.

"I'm heading out. You two better stay out of trouble when I'm gone. No fighting." She placed some food down for them, separating the bowls far apart from each other. She placed one on the floor and the other on a nearby table for her owl. Her two pets happily ate as she left, heading to the Great Hall.

As Fae arrived, she noticed that several of the professors were already seated as well as the students as it almost time for the sorting ceremony for the new first years arriving to Hogwarts. Fae walked over, heading towards the teachers table and took a seat next to Severus.

"Hello." Fae smiled.

"Miss Craft." Snape answered her. Fae's eyes scanned the crowd of students, noticing that two were missing. 

"Can you guess who is not here?" Fae asked Severus. 

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley. I already know." Snape answered.

"Should we go look for them?" Fae asked, concerned. "I wonder what happened."

"After the ceremony we'll scout the castle to find them." Severus told her. Fae nodded and Dumbledore proceeded with the sorting ceremony and started the feast. Several owls flew through the windows passing out mail and a newspaper landing in front of Fae, beside Severus. He took it and started to read the paper and his hands crinkled the side of the paper tightly. His jaw tightened.

Fae noticed and moved closer to see what was wrong. Her eyes widen at the headlines as she read it "Several muggles saw a flying car flying over London." She noticed the car immediately as Arthur's seeing him drive it a few times back at the ministry. But he wouldn't be this reckless. 

After dinner was over, the prefects began to lead the students back to their dormitories. The professors began to head back to their rooms while several others started to do their nightly rounds, patrolling the castle. Severus and Fae started to head down the stairs to start at the castle grounds when they heard footsteps and voices approaching.

"Maybe if we're lucky, Snape left this year because he couldn't get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again." Ron said.

"Or maybe he got sick." Harry spoke.

"Or he might have been sacked!" Ron said enthusiastically. "I mean, everyone hates him."

"Or he's waiting to hear why two didn't arrive on the school train." Snape's cold voice spoke. Harry and Ron froze as they saw Snape and Fae in front of them. "Follow me." He smiled. Harry and Ron only knew that this meant that they were in deep trouble. Fae quietly gestured them to follow her, and Snape lead them down to the dungeons to his office. Snape sat down in front of his desk. Fae walked over, leaning against the wall as she watched Snape yell at the two boys. He scolded and lectured them as he waved the newspaper in front of Harry and Ron.

"You were seen by no less than seven muggles. Do you have any idea how serious this is!? You have risked the exposer of our world. Not to mention the damage you did on a whomping willow that's been on the grounds since before you were born."

"Honestly, professor, I think it did more damage to us." Ron interrupted.

"Silence!" Snape snapped. "I assure you, had you both been in Slytherin, and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be sent back on the train back home, tonight, as it is."

"They are not." Everyone saw Dumbledore and McGonagall step into the office.

"Professor Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall." Harry said, surprised but also relieved to see them. Snape got up and stood beside Ron and Harry.

"Headmaster, these boys have flouted the decree for the restriction of underage wizardry, as such." He spoke.

"I know of our by-laws Severus, having written a few of them myself. However, as head of Gryffindor house, it is for Professor McGonagall to determine the appropriate action." Dumbledore answered.

"We'll get our belongings then." Everyone heard Ron spoke.

"What do you mean, Mr. Weasley?" Minerva asked him.

"You're going to expel us, aren't you?" Ron asked. Harry nodded, quietly with him.

"Not today, Mr. Weasley." McGonagall told the two. Harry and Ron's eyes widen in shock and the two smiled. "But I must unpressed the seriousness that the both of you have done. I will be writing to your families tonight and the two of you will receive detention."

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Forging Ties - Chapter 17 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

So everybody was leaving, then and nobody had asked Skye, 'hey Skye, would you like to go on a ship?'

He looked at each of them in turn.

Everett was too busy with his electronic device to notice and he had to lean himself back to look Hamish in the eye but even then none of them asked Skye if he wanted to go on a ship.

The robot brought Skye his chicken and Skye ignored everyone as he devoured it.

Nobody ever invited him places, like onto ships.

He just went places other people were and sometimes they didn't object, like how he'd gone with Slone last night and then come back with him to the room afterwards.

That was the only way to get what he wanted.

If he wanted to go on a ship, he would have to make it happen on his own.

That night, when it got dark and everyone else headed back to the inn to eat dinner and talk about their ship journey, Skye went and retrieved the rest of his stuff from where he had stashed it away in a nook on a rooftop.

It was mostly food.

He would need it for the long journey ahead.

Skye walked along the dock and crept aboard the ship, though he was pretty sure nobody was on board.

He found the hatch that led below deck conveniently unlocked and open and climbed down.

He turned and found himself face to face with a very large, black cat.

A panther, he was pretty sure, though he didn't remember why he knew what a panther was.

"I didn't consider that they might hire a large cat to guard their ship," Skye told it.

"Hello."

The panther offered a dip of its head in acknowledgement.

"You know, Miriam says I have silly little cat teeth," Skye said. "So, we're the same. You should be on my side."

The panther turned and started making its way down the narrow corridor in the opposite direction.

Skye followed.

It stopped outside the door at the end of the corridor and looked at him expectantly.

Skye opened the door. A storeroom. Perfect.

Skye turned, considered the panther for a long moment and then reached out a hand to touch one of its furry ears.

His fingers passed right through it.

Skye often touched people and things he wasn't supposed to but he had never been so thoroughly thwarted.

Are you a ghost?" Skye asked. "It's okay if you're a ghost. A fact about ghosts is that they can't report me for being a stowaway. I think..."

He walked into the storeroom and looked around.

It was a mess, which was perfect.

He could move a few things around, make himself a little nest in the back and nobody would know he was there.

"Are you my mother?" Skye asked as he got to work rearranging the storeroom.

"You're a cat. I'm a cat. Maybe, sort of..."

The panther offered a very deliberate shake of its head.

"Yeah, I didn't think so. Do you ever feel like you miss somebody but you don't remember who?"

Skye found a stack of old, empty sacks and dragged them into his nook to make a nest out of.

"Maybe that's just a me thing. I guess most people would just remember anyone they cared about enough to miss."

The next time he turned around, the panther was gone.

That was the nature of ghosts, Skye supposed.

He wondered if Sera knew her ship was haunted.

********

As Hamish helped Mirriam haul things out to the ship the next morning, he kept an eye out for Skye.

He hadn't been at dinner last night and Hamish hadn't seen him since.

"You haven't seen Skye around, have you?" Hamish asked Miriam as they got the last few things loaded up.

"I wanted to say goodbye before we left."

"I was hoping to check in with him as well but I haven't seen him," Mirriam said.

"That's how he is, though. Unconventional and independent. He doesn't normally spend as much time around other people as he has been with the three of you, so he probably just needed a break."

"I hope so."

"I wouldn't worry about him. He triggers my maternal instincts sometimes and he'll let you fuss over him when he feels like it but he's proven to me time and time again that he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself."

"He may be cute but he's shown me he's competent as well, so I'm not too worried. It's just a shame not to get to say goodbye."

"I'll pass on your goodbyes after I get back from this trip."

As the three man crew consisting of Sera, Everett and the robot got to work preparing to set sail, Hamish found Duran at the front of the ship, looking out over the water.

He wore a peaceful smile and the morning sun bathed both the ocean and his hair with a shimmering glow.

Hamish pressed a kiss against the side of his face as he stepped up next to him.

"Excited?"

Duran nodded.

"I've never sailed before. I suppose that's hardly a surprise when there are so many other things I've never done before but this still feels special."

"I've never done it either. Not on a ship, anyway. A canoe on a lake isn't quite the same experience."

Duran laughed.

"Well, it's something. I wouldn't mind doing that too, some day. I can get too much inside my own head sometimes but I don't want to take any of this for granted or let the joy of life be drowned out by its darker moments."

"We'll find a lake when we get back. Go fishing or something. I like travel, adventure but sometimes a quiet day on the water is nice too."

"I'm starting to feel more comfortable with it," Duran said. "The thought of going back, I mean. When we left, I felt like I had so many emotions bunched up inside of me that nobody would ever understand. But now... I don't know. I think I'm starting to realise that things take time and that's okay. It's okay if not everyone understands me right away. It's okay to take time to get to know people, to get to know myself. It's just... okay."

"It is," Hamish said. "I promise."

Duran rested his head against Hamish's shoulder.

"Thank you. When we left, I felt like I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to escape. You have to understand that as much as I loved Fanner and Danya, my relationship with them was inherently stressful. In the world we were raised in, love is painful. I've never had the experience of just sharing life with other people. For the first time in my life, having friends is just... nice. I hope Slone is eavesdropping because this goes for him, too."

"Always," Slone called out from somewhere else on the ship and Duran laughed.

"It keeps getting better, you know," Hamish said. "There are bad days too but healing takes time and you've only just begun. It gets so much better."

Duran smiled and looked back out at the ocean as the ship took its first lurch forward away from the dock.

"I look forward to it."

[crownedone9x9]

coming out

Hey weirdos! I’m not sure what to call the people who actually read my blog. Tonight is a dozey for me and to say the least I won't be posting it on facebook. I came out as pan-sexual to a friend this afternoon. Tonight I came out to a group of strangers. Tonight I am coming out to certain corners of the internet. My walk has been a hard one and there was one thing that I should never repeat like I did my good friend of mine. Which might have been a mistake I am not sure. However the story i have chosen tonight is the story about Lewis. I won't use his last name but yeah maybe some of you know the story. I was 15 when I met Lewis. I was in a dark place to say the least had no hope no future I just wanted to die. He started tutoring me and I just kind of tried it for a while. Next thing you know I was 17 living with him he had become my boss my sponsor I started out as a sex addict. My tutor and my best friend. He was doing something called grooming. I know you might not know what that is. Its when you slowly make someone more comfortable around them sexually. Like it started out with him coming into the bathroom. While i was peeing and saying hey that's a nice ****. It progressed from there. I know some of you may be like why is he saying this only on his public blog? Well because I guess what I want others to know that's why I want people to look up the Trevor project. Facebook had a lot of people who stopped being my friend for different reasons but maybe because they did not agree with my bible verses oh that decision. I want kids to know that there are people out there who care and know how to talk to kids like I was. A Kid who would spend most of  his life running from certain times in his life. Never growing up from that boy who was abused by his older brother. Not sexually but physically mentally and verbally. Life is hard sometimes but there is help. God cares about you. He really does, whatever God might mean for you. If you struggle with addiction then Go to AA or NA. If you struggle with mental illness Go to NAMI. If you want a spiritual life and want true joy and a happy life. Go to a church and give this whole Jesus a chance. Again I just told the world that I am pan-sexual. I’m talking about the God of the bible which says that homo sexuality is wrong. I don’t know all the answers but I know he still loves me and accepted me when I asked him in my heart all those years ago. Repentance is a journey. I am not dead so I can grow and learn about the universe and my views might change. Not sure whoever, whenever, wherever, she or he or maybe in between is. I just know I am going to fall in love again and again with the same soul. My soul mate. That means more to me than you will ever know. I Have hope today because of Her. anyway i know i'm not making any sense so I shut up. Just know right now at this moment I'm happy. Just being me. Staying clean and sober no matter what. I can fall asleep tonight knowing tomorrow is going to be even better than today and so on and so forth. Good night weirdos. Think that's what I'll call you from now on.

[amaranthineoceans]

Everything Weird About Deltarune!

Spoiler Warning for Undertale and Both Chapters of Deltarune! Really! I Literally Go Through Everything I Can Remember About Them!

This is a long post so get comfortable. Also note that my brain doesn't process thoughts into words very well so some of these might not be worded in the best way. :)

Deltarune. The first teaser chapter was released on October 31, 2018, and it came out of nowhere. We've all gone through this, but I'll try and go through every single painstaking detail I can remember. Feel free to reblog and add/correct things.

The weirdness begins right off the bat. The title is an anagram of UNDERTALE. We all know Toby likes to use anagrams when he wants to indirectly tell us when things are related, so it's no surprise that when you go to download DELTARUNE, it warns you that the game is designed for people who have played UNDERTALE. You think, "Cool, so it's a sequel? Or maybe a prequel? A different perspective of UNDERTALE perhaps?" You were wrong; so terribly, terribly wrong! I'll elaborate on this later.

Before you download the application, the terms of service that you must agree to beforehand reads simply and plainly, "You accept everything that will happen from now on." This detail was kinda brushed off in the beginning, because, hey, it's Toby Fox. He does weird stuff all the time. But even in the first chapter, it's apparent that the concept of choice, or more accurately, the lack of it, is a very present theme in the game. I would like to remind you that Toby has announced that there will be one ending in the game. One. I'll elaborate on this later.

The program (as in, what the game is called in your files) is named SURVEY PROGRAM. Why not just call it Deltarune like it is when you download chapter two?

The game launches you, without a title screen, without any setting adjustment options, straight into a reference to the theme of the entire franchise: the lack of choice. A strange formless voice guides you through "making a vessel", with what we know now as a fountain in the background. You have the option to make some very disturbing choices in this character creator, such as making its favorite flavor "pain" or expressing your feelings about it with options such as "fear" and "disgust." You name your "creation," tell the formless voice your name (which is different from your vessel's name) and watch as said formless voice muses over your name at an agonizing pace. It thanks you for your time and tells you that your wonderful creation, (cue music cutout and background removal) will now be discarded. "No one can choose who they are in this world." The screen slowly turns white as the voice says, "Your... name... is..."

It gets weirder. The next scene appears from the whiteness and showcases Toriel calling "Kris" out of bed. Kris' area of the room is very bare in contrast to the other side, which we later discover is Asriel's.

It's Toriel. Why is Toriel here?

Kris is kind of an anagram of Frisk (the protagonist of UNDERTALE) but without the F. I highly doubt this is a coincidence.

Speaking with Noelle is the only reason you can proceed (see what i did there?) while finding a partner in the classroom. This means you can't go through the 1st chapter without knowing who she is. Is it because of the Snowgrave route?

Ralsei is just suspicious to me. There's no way he was just waiting in that castle his whole life alone without some mental toil. So either he's insane or he wasn't alone the whole time. What happened? Is it related to how he can close his eyes and see what Susie is going through when she's apart from the party? Was he just watching everything? Is he related to the formless voice?

Susie's icon is the only one without color in the Dark World.

Jevil's fight is more difficult than Sans'.

Your actions have little consequence in the first chapter. If you choose to go genocide, the only difference in the ending is being run out of the kingdom, and this doesn't carry over to the next chapter. Again, lack of choice, people.

If at the end of chapter one, you walk around town, it's mentioned (notably by Noelle) that you're usually not this talkative. If you go to the hospital and speak with the receptionist, they mention that you used to play the piano in the corner. If you decide to attempt to play the said piano, an out-of-key bash can be heard and the receptionist comments on how you used to play beautifully. If you try this in chapter two, the result is the same. All this is confirmation that Kris is acting noticeably weird.

When you leave the Dark World and walk around town, you can find Sans. He "pretends" to recognize you, and if you tell him you recognize him, he tells you it's funny, considering that you two have never met before. He winks. I'm pretty sure he knows that the player is there.

The mention of Papyrus in both games, but the purposeful lack of him. Like he's avoiding you.

If you go upstairs while inside Asgore's flower shop, there are flowers in glass cases resembling his SOUL collection in UNDERTALE. There's a red flower.

You can't enter the church.

The clock in the storage closet shows a different time than all the others in the school.

If you go all the way south in town and into the woods, the music stops and you come across a rusty, double door is in a hill covered in crass. It's locked. If you go this way in chapter two, however, you watch a cutscene where you and susie happen to find Monster Kid from UNDERTALE (or someone resembling them) and an owl kid in front of the door. The owl kid is pressuring Monster Kid to (presumably) break inside, telling them that they don't want to be a wimp like Kris. Does this imply that Kris is connected to this strange door somehow?

The ending. You know what I'm talking about.

Did Kris actually rip out the SOUL (I say "the" because I'm not entirely sure it's Kris') and knife because they wanted to eat the pie? Did they only eat the pie because Toriel caught them?

Why did they look at the player? Are they sick of being controlled? Is that why they freaked out after the Spamton fight? (later)

Anyway, now we're at chapter two.

DELTARUNE Chapter Two was released on September 17th, 2021. 17. Entry Number 17. Sound familiar?

Asriel's part of the room is different from the last chapter. I don't think this means anything sinister, but I think it means Kris notices different things about the room as the story progresses. My theory is that it will become more sinister in each chapter.

Ralsei getting super excited to see Susie and Kris after a day. As in he has separation anxiety and it breaks my heart. not anything suspicious but it makes me sad so it's on the list.

Kris and Susie's rooms. Ralsei REALLY doesn't want them to leave. Seriously get this boy a therapist. Or a stuffed animal. SOMETHING.

Kris having to gather everything from the storage closet so that people appear in the Dark World????? Why??????????????? They had to do the same thing for the computer lab too.

The golden door. I don't trust it.

How/why the heck did Noelle and Berdley go into the Computer Lab Dark World? I don't see either of them just walking into pulsing void doors without Susie.

Apparently the knight has been gone for a bit and can corrupt people's minds? The king in the first chapter doesn't seem like he can be redeemed but Queen just seems,,, not bad, but a little crazy. I wonder what happened.

Then again, name ONE person in this franchise without trauma.

Spamton.

Horror doesn't bother me. Spamton? Spamton bothers me.

SPAMTON. ENOUGH SAID.

A Kromer is a type of hat invented in the '70s. Nobody named Mike is associated with it, that I can find.

SPAMPTON. HOW DO I EVEN DESCRIBE IT.

HIS SONG IS THE ONLY ONE WITH WORDS.

The way he asks Kris is they want to be a heart on a chain their whole life. Like, dude, no wonder they were screaming after the fight.

WHERE DID THE YELLOW HEART COME FROM. YELLOW MEANS JUSTICE. WHY DOES JUSTICE APPLY.

Kris screaming after the fight and the player not being able to hear it. Don't you dare tell me that's just how the game is designed. There are sound effects characters make throughout the game. None that I can think of apply to Kris, apart from when they rip their soul out.

Ralsei brushing off the Spamton fight. Either that's his coping mechanism or he was trying to shut Susie and Kris up to protect them from... something. I'll touch on that in a minute.

According to Queen, DETERMINATION is a key factor in creating a fountain.

Also according to Queen, Kris, Noelle, and Susie all have DETERMINATION SOULS.

Ralsei freaking out about Berdley making a fountain implies that he may also have DETERMINATION. Why I'm bringing all this up will make sense soon.

How was Noelle able to cast Snowgrave... a spell that she, according to her, didn't know?

The Snowgrave route is so twisted.

You manipulate Noelle into killing Berdley and then, when you get back to the computer lab and investigate his corpse, the text box says that he doesn't seem to be awake. As if you're in denial?

Burgerpants recognizes you. Not Kris. As in the player.

The ending. I don't think I need to describe it. Kris is very methodical without the SOUL. (I say "the" because, again, I'm not 100% convinced it's theirs.) I'm saying this about how they left clues that someone broke into the This proves that they are NOT a mindless, vengeful husk.

HOW DID THEY MAKE THE FOUNTAIN WITHOUT THE SOUL INSIDE OF THEM. DID THEY FEED THE SOUL TO IT AFTERWARDS? IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?

Another point I would like to make is my theory that Ralsei knows much more than he would have us believe. I might put this into a different post because I have yet to gather my points into a coherent bullet point list, so keep an eye out for that.

Anyway apart from Toriel and Susie being VERY heavy sleepers, I think I've gone through everything. I have a few theories.

1. Kris is possessed by the player and figured out that they could make a fountain from Queen and related to Spamton freaking out about freedom. They then decided to make a fountain going by the logic that "this would tick the player off." This is one of my top theories that assumes that the SOUL is theirs.

And 2. Kris is possessed by both the player and the knight. I think the formless voice at the very beginning of the game is the knight, and they somehow needed the player to possess someone with DETERMINATION. If so, then why Kris? We know from Queen that Noelle and Susie, and maybe even Berdley also have DETERMINATION. The most plausible thing I can think of is the fact that human souls are stronger than monster ones.

I do think that the popular theory (about the one that suggests that the Dark Word is nothing but a figment of a child's imagination, and the events that occur in said Dark World are simply children playing with toys) has been thoroughly dashed due to Berdley's murder in the genocide route of the second chapter. Unless he's not dead. Regardless, how the events (or lack thereof) that occur in the second chapter play through the next will be interesting, especially considering Toby's announcement about how there will be one ending to the game. So either Berdley isn't dead, or he will be.

Aaaand I think that's it! Sorry for the long post; let me know your thoughts and if I missed anything!

[thelittlebirdwriter]

Then I Won't Have To Say You Were The One That Got Away

ITS PART 2 TIME BABYYY

pt. 2 to that one ben fic i wrote a few days ago

Dear Ol' Reggie (dammit, why couldn't he have kicked the bucket in this timeline too?) had booted you, along with the Umbrella-Academy-Minus-Ben out of the house. Luckily, Allison heard this fantastic rumor about a nice motel having a few open rooms for free, as well as free room service thrown into the mix. You got stuck with Klaus. Which, you weren't complaining that much, you were used to his bullshit, but he was a constant reminder of what you had lost, which consequently was residing, alive, a few blocks away. The living boy who didn't remember you at all. "Okay, Mopey McMoperson, what's the deal." Klaus glanced over at you. " 's nothing." "It's Ben, isn't it?" you looked away. "Oh, my god, I'm right! It is!" "Shut up, Klaus!" "Sorry, sorry..." he trailed off, taking a breath. "You know, he, um, talked about you a lot. When he was dead. It was always 'Can we go see Y/N?' and 'How's Y/N?' and 'Hey look it's Y/N, can we go say hi?'...It got kind of annoying, actually. For 17 years, you were the only thing he ever talked about." You smiled softly at Klaus' attempt to make you feel better. "He...he doesn't remember me." "That's not our Ben, silly girl. Don't worry, we'll figure this out." He smiled gently at you, and you couldn't help but think that you liked him more when he was sober. "Now, let's go to sleep. I call the bed next to the window!" You laughed, the mood lightened by Klaus' exclamation. *** Click. Click click. The door creaked open and you shot up, peering through the darkness. The intruder sat itself on the edge of your bed. "Hey," it whispered. "Diego?" You glared at him, and he giggled softly. "Don't do that, asshole. You scared me." "Well, what else was I supposed to do? The door was locked." "I dunno, Di, there's this cool thing called knocking. You should try it sometime." You could hear him roll his eyes, even in the dark. "Shut up." You sighed softly. Before Ben had died, you started to befriend Diego. After Ben died, your bond with the knife thrower grew. "What's wrong, Diego?" "I just...this whole Ben thing, and...I was thinking..." he trailed off. "What?" "What if Mom's not there either? What if Dad didn't see a need for some robot nanny?" "Well, it's not like we got a good look around the place. Reggie boy kicked us out." Klaus piped in. Diego sighed. "Klaus, go back to sleep." "All I'm saying is, you got nothing to worry about, big bro. Everything will work out in the end." "Yeah. Yeah you're right..." he sighed. "I'm gonna go to bed now." "Night, Diego." You and Klaus called. **1 week later** You had rented out a small apartment, finding a more permanent place to stay...for the time being. You had turned to go to sleep in your (unfamiliar) bed, when there was a quiet knock on the window. You walked closer cautiously, pulling the curtains aside. You peered out into the darkness, to find... Ben? He smiled awkwardly at you, waving. You blinked in shock, trying not to cry as you tugged the window open. He clambered in, closing the window behind him. "H-hey, Y/N." "Ben? How did you- I thought-" Ben grimaced, wincing. "Yeah, I'm...I'm sorry." "You said you didn't know me." "You don't look the same! Y/N, you died when we were 16!" You blinked, and he slapped a hand over his mouth. "Y/N, I..." "Ben Hargreeves, don't even speak to me of 'looking the same'. You just...you left! When we were kids! And I had to hear from your druggie brother that you had died!" Ben's eyes widened. "I- I'm sorry, I-" you stuttered. "No, I'm sorry." Ben cupped your cheek. "I am so sorry." You furrowed your brows. "Ben, I-" you were cut off when he captured your lips in a kiss. You kissed him back softly, and he grinned before pulling away, setting his forehead against yours. "Ben, you gotta get rid of the rat-stache." "W-what?!" he cried indignantly. "It makes me look cool!" "It makes you look like you're going through a depressed emo phase." He scoffed, glaring playfully at you, before bursting into giggles.

●○●○

thanks for reading 😌 ily

[whimsicallyreading]

For Rowaelin Month day 17

 “A sick day”

CW- PTSD, mentions of violence

Aelin considered herself a fortunate person.

She has survived genocide, her family's murders, losing loved ones, slavery, torture, and the Great War. Now she is a queen, a mother, a beloved Mate.

Her life had changed since those bleak days where she'd wondered if she would ever escape captivity—the days when Aelin didn't know if she would ever be free or find love again. Every morning she woke up curled into Rowan's side, and while she drank her morning tea, Aelin could count on her young daughter snuggling into her lap.

Yes, she was swamped most days, but that was normal for a queen. But even the moments between boring meetings brimmed with life and laughter. Rowan's hand on her thigh beneath the table. Fenrys' theatrics when conversation spiraled off-topic. And even the hardened lords thought it was hilarious when their three-year-old princess barged into councils and demanded her mother's attention.

Her family gathered for dinners at the end of every day. Aelin's little family, Fenrys, Emrys, and Malakai were the regular attendees. Aedion, Lysandra, Elide, and Lorcan joined when they were present. It was a time reserved for family only, and it was by far Aelin's favorite part of the day.

Aelin had a good life now. Her family was growing, and her country thrived beneath her rule.

So it always took her by surprise when a bad day came.

She had woken up fine. Delly had slammed open the chamber door with a gust of wind and squirmed herself between her and Rowan in the early morning. Usually, Aelin treasured the moments when her daughter joined them, but being pregnant again had taken a toll on her sleep.

Rowan tried to stop their child before she entirely collapsed onto Aelin but was a moment too slow. Delly flopped onto her mother's chest in a disarray of wrinkled nightgown and golden curls. Soft sobs were sputtering out of the tiny figure.

I'm sorry. Rowan whispered into her thoughts. He knew how hard pregnancy was on her and took his mate's comfort very seriously. It troubled him that their toddling daughter woke Aelin so abruptly.

Aelin blinks the sleep from her eyes and sends him a happy smile to assure him everything is fine.

"What's wrong, Dell?" Aelin soothes a hand up her baby's quaking form.

Adelia sniffles harder, unable to talk through the tears. She'd started to have bad dreams in recent weeks, but never had she been so inconsolable.

Aelin shifts as Adelia's arms tighten uncomfortably around her bump. Rowan sees her discomfort and reaches around to pull Dell to him instead, but it is met with resistance.

"No," Adelia finally wails. "Mama. I want Mama."

Rowan frowns. Adelia was a daddy's girl to the bone, and this was the first time she'd ever refused to go to him. Their daughter squeezes harder and burrows her face into Aelin's torso.

"Dell," Rowan leans next to her and whispers, a cool breeze brushing against her flushed cheek. "What's wrong little love?"

Adelia lifts her head, and Aelin's heart contracts painfully. Her cheeks are red and swollen from the intensity of her crying, little sobs still stumbling from her chest as Rowan settles her down enough to speak.

"Mama was gone. She was hurt, and she couldn't see me." Dell sniffles, her green eyes glassy. "Can you see me, Mama?"

Aelin tugs her daughter in closer, unable to stand the sight of her so sad. "Yes, of course, I can. I'm right here."

"You were in a box. She wouldn't let me see you," Adelia whimpers in a small voice. "She told me she was gonna keep you. I don't want you to go, Mama."

Aelin's face blanches. It wasn't possible. Her little baby couldn't possibly have seen what was coming to her mind. She looks at Rowan, and his face is pinched with worry.

"It's not real, Dell." Rowan uses a thumb to wipe the tears off her cheek.

Adelia flinches. "Uncle Ress told me it was. He told me Mama had got stollen and put into a box by the bad lady and that she should have stayed there."

Aelin's heart stops. Nausea crawls up her throat, and Rowan tugs Adelia away just in time for her to crawl out of bed and gag into a potted plant. The sickness grips Aelin, the shudders in her arms only growing worse with her daughter's mumbled cries.

"Daddy, I want Mama to stay here." Rowan hushes her and murmurs quiet reassurances. "Don't let her get stollen."

Ress had said that? In front of her daughter? Aelin tries to close her eyes against the visions creeping into her mind. The places her scars used to be ache, and her hands pulse with the remembered pain of reconstruction.

The baby in her womb squirms under its mother's stress, and Aelin throws up again.

She should have stayed there.

Cairn brings the hammer down onto her frail knees, the ringing of cracking bone splits the air.

She should have stayed there.

Aelin opens her eyes to endless darkness. Sweet smoke wafts through invisible holes and sends her to sleep- leaving her mind vulnerable to Maeve's manipulations.

She should have stayed there.

More and more memories swarm behind her eyelids until a pair of grounding arms wrap around her shoulders.

"Fireheart, you are home. You are safe. Can you breathe with me?" Rowan sighs loudly behind her shoulder, and Aelin tries to force her own breath out.

Breathing in is harder, but Rowan's scent fills her nose and loosens the binds on her lungs. Soon, Aelin is doing the exercises independently, and Rowan nuzzles his face into her neck. His hands snake under her bump and lift some of the pressure, easing more of her tension.

"There you are," Rowan kisses her cheek as Aelin comes back around. "Are you okay?"

Aelin shakes her head and sinks into his arms. "Can you take me back to bed?"

Her legs feel like jelly, and her stomach is weak from turning. Rowan lifts her with ease. His arms are warm, and he murmurs sweet nothings into her ear as he carries his mate back to their bed.

"Adelia?" Aelin looks around for their daughter.

Rowan pulls back the duvet and reveals the sleepy from nestled right into the middle of the pillows. "She fell back asleep quickly."

"I can't believe Ress told her those things," Aelin can feel a tear slipping down her face. Ress had never forgiven her for her days as Celaena. Darrow had grown to accept her, but Ress never warmed up to having Aelin as his queen despite her efforts.

She hadn't realized the extent his hatred went.

Rowan scowls as he lays Aelin down next to their daughter. "Ress is young and foolish. I have forgiven a lot of his hostility and ignored most of his juvenile antics, but Aelin, I can't forgive this."

"He should never have said those things to Dell." Ress's words linger in her head. She tried to do right by her title and live up to her parent's legacy. Aelin took a lot of pride in listening to the demands of her people and tending to their problems personally. But the odds of Ress being the only one to feel this way are slim. Did they wish she'd never returned? Was she arrogant to take the crown just because it was her inheritance? She'd never had the formal training as ruler and relied a lot on Rowan to help manage foreign affairs. Despite the loss of her fire, many still feared her and considered her a murderer. No matter how hard she tried, Aelin's history as Adarlan's Assassin proceeded her.

Tears burn Aelin's eyes, and Rowan's scowl deepens. "He should have never spoken of you like that at all."

Aelin shakes her head, "It's his right to think what he wants. Maybe he has a point."

"No." Rowan growls, and Dell flinches in her sleep. Taking a deep breath, Rowan softens his voice. "He's wrong, Aelin. Ress was wrong to scare Dell, and he has no right to demean everything you've sacrificed. You've suffered for your people."

"I closed the lock because I had to Rowan," Aelin argues. "That doesn't automatically make me a good queen. What if I'm failing?"

Rowan pulls their duvet up to Aelin's chin, and Dell instinctively snuggles to her mother's side. Her daughter was a leach for warmth, and Aelin could feel her remaining flames writhing in her veins agitated.

"You are a wonderful ruler, Fireheart." Rowan bends down and kisses her lips reverently. "I've met my fair share of emperors, kings, and queens. None of them have given up so much to better the lives of their people. They care for you in return."

Rowan steps away from the bed, and Aelin makes a displeased noise. "Where are you going so early in the morning."

"I'm awake now. I feel like a flight through Oakwald. Go to sleep, and when you wake up, I'll bring my females breakfast," Rowan pulls on a plain white tunic. "Sleep, love. You both need your rest."

Rowan can read her too well. Aelin can feel her eyes drooping despite how much she wants to deny it. "Very well, but there better be tea and pastries."

As Aelin drifts back to sleep, she swears that a mischievous smile passes across her mate's face.

~~~

"Aelin," Maeve twirls a lock of blonde hair in her fingers. "Where are the keys?"

Cairn twists the blade in her thigh again, and Aelin screams, "screw yourself."

Aelin writhes beneath the pain and the dark queen's gaze. Her torturer goes to twist the blade again, but Maeve holds up a hand. "Wait. There is a smarter way to go about this."

"I won't tell you anything," Aelin gasps, the blood seeping from her thigh pools onto the table. "There is nothing you can do."

"Not even to spare the princess?" Maeve smiles as the cell door opens. Connall walks into the room, a squirming girl in his arms.

"Let me go," the girl screams, and the air in the room turns frigid. Her blonde hair whips around as she twists and fights. The little girl's head turns, and she freezes when she catches sight of Aelin. "Mama?"

"Adelia?" Aelin asks, confused. "You can't be here. You aren't supposed to be here." With renewed energy, Aelin thrashes against her bonds and bares her teeth at Maeve.

Maeve takes Adelia from Connall and strokes her hair. "Such a pretty one."

"This isn't real," Aelin hisses. "I wasn't pregnant when you took me. Adelia was born in Terresan."

Maeve hums a sympathetic note, "It seems you're confused." Aelin fights as the dark queen sits with a frozen Adelia in her lap. "Begin again, Cairn."

A hot iron is lain against Aelin's neck, and Adelia's screams rattle the stone chamber.

~~~

Aelin wakes with a gasp. Her chest is seizing in uncontrollable fits, and little hands cup the sides of her face.

"Mama?" Adelia's concerned face hovers over Aelin's. "Why are you crying?"

Relief washes over her at the sight of her daughter, safe and sound. She tries to take deeper breaths, but her body fights against her. The baby in her womb squirms uncomfortably. Aelin feels guilt that they are so subject to her moods. She tries to open her mouth to speak, consol her frightened daughter, but Aelin can't get any words out.

"Daddy!" Dell screams, frightened tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.

Rowan bursts through the door, "Dell?"

Adelia sniffles and kisses Aelin's face sadly, "Daddy, what's wrong with Mama?"

Aelin grabs at her chest, trying to ease the tightness there. She was scaring her daughter. What kind of mother would do that? Rowan sits beside her, and a cool wind goes up her nose and fills her lungs.

"Fireheart," Rowan lifts Adelia and sits beside her. "Is this a sick day?"

It was the code they'd come up with for the days when the past came back to haunt them. When the turmoil in their mind forces their bodies to rebel, and they can't seem to put on their usual facades. It used to shame Aelin, the days she couldn't rise from bed and do her duty. But her mate's unwavering love soon cracked that lie and eased her burden. Rowan had convincing arguments. Aelin's people needed their queen at her best, and on sick days, she wasn't able to give that to them. Their court was strong. They wouldn't allow Terresan to fall while she recovered. Aelin deserved time to heal.

Rowan must have been able to tell that she wouldn't be able to settle herself this time as his winds continued their push and pull in her chest. "Yes," she rasps dejectedly.

Dell buries her face into Rowan's shoulder. Her mate rests a hand on the side of her face and soothes her cheek. "To whatever end, Aelin. We will get through this just as we do everything else."

Rowan kisses the side of Dell's face. "Little love, do you think you can go to the kitchens and have someone bring Mama tea?"

That fae instinct to fuss rears its head in their child. Adelia perks up at the opportunity to do something useful. "Yes!"

Rowan sets her on the floor, and she takes off in a blur of untamed hair and swishing skirts. They wince as a gust of wind slams the doors of their chambers against the wall.

"She's a handful," Rowan talks, aware of the soothing effect his voice has on her. "But we always knew our children would be. I can't wait to see what kind of chaos our son brings into our lives."

Aelin wraps her arms around him as the remnants of her dreams finally fade away. "You think it's a boy?"

"I know so," Rowan pinches her side, and Aelin smiles. He'd also been confident that their first child would be a girl. His smugness after Adelia's birth was unbearable.

"Rowan," Aelin whispers. "Can we just lay here today?"

"I could never deny you anything," Rowan leans against their headboard and kicks off his shoes. "You don't need to ask, Aelin. It's okay to take time for yourself."

"What if I'm just proving Ress right?" The insecurity slips from her lips before she can stop them. "What if there is someone more capable?"

"Ress won't be a problem anymore," Rowan rests a hand against her bump, and the baby withing kicks at it, bringing a smile to his face.

Aelin narrows her eyes, "What have you done?"

"Nothing that anyone will blame me for," Rowan assures. "He would be in a lot more trouble if the rest of the court learned what he said in front of Dell. Ress should be grateful I didn't do a lot worse."

Aelin sighs, "I don't understand why I can't just let it all go. Why do I allow myself to be so haunted?"

"It's not that simple," Rowan shakes his head. "I'm hundreds of years old, and no matter how many years pass, there are things from my past that haven't healed. The mind is different from the body, and sometimes it takes longer for it to recover. There is nothing wrong with that. You gave up everything for the people you loved."

"Because I had to," Aelin contradicts.

A hardness comes over Rowan, "because no one else could."

Rowan rolls over her body into a plank and looks deep into her eyes. "No one else that day would have made the same sacrifices out of love. Not even me. I was too selfish to let you go. You gave up everything, and by the strength in your soul, you came home to me. In all my decades, I have never met someone so remarkable, and I never will again. Take as many years as you need to recover, Aelin. This world owes a debt to you, and I will make sure it pays. You deserve every happiness."

His hand threads through one of hers and drags it up to rest on the bump between them.

Happiness.

Dell darts back into their room, a cup of tea sloshing in her hands as she runs. "Daddy, I put extra sugar in it. Uncle Fen is coming with more cups, but I made this one special."

Rowan pulls away from her, and the laughter on his face is contagious.  

Aelin smiles and accepts the tea from Dell's hands. She even manages a few sips without cringing from the sweetness. Fenrys follows behind her shortly and sets a fresh cup covertly on her bedside table.

There may be hard days, Aelin realizes as her family gathers around her, but the love they showed her every day made it all worth it.

[bored-storyteller]

@severnrose honey, I shouldn't have preferences but how could I wait to write for you and Xiao?

Dear Xiao, sweet Xiao, thank you for asking, I have good reasons to love you :3

60- Genshin Impact, Xiao x Reader (angst/comfort)

From the prompt list

17- "Am I the reason you cry every night?"

33- "Do you know how it feels to wish for death every day?"

For Xiao you are like a little sparrow, so fragile and so free at the same time. He never understood what bad star forced you to meet with him, it was something so unlikely that it might have seemed ironic, but still he never tried to put you in a cage. You didn't deserve it. Sure, you're an absurd being, sometimes annoying, sometimes inconsistent and stupid, but you're also something he never bothered to find, a free kindness and a relief he always knew he didn't deserve.

So he never wanted to condemn you to a relationship with someone like him.

For this reason, when the darkness inside him had become heavier, when he realized he had gone too far, he pushed your worried eyes away from him. It was his job to protect you too, and he hadn't noticed the wound he had inflicted on you.

He is never too kind with words, he doesn't talk much and when he does he is never able to sweeten his sentences. It has always gone well with you.

Yet this time something was different; maybe he had been worse without realizing it, or maybe you were more fragile than usual, but he immediately opened a cruel door in front of you and a wave of awareness hit you. Yes, you were nothing but a burden to him.

Xiao hadn't seen you since that day. Or rather, he had happened to see you around, as always, doing your chores, helping where there was need, but he had no longer had the opportunity to be with you, alone, as you used to do from time to time, maybe in the evening, under the stars.

Initially he hadn't done anything, he hadn't thought of anything either. You were simply too busy, as he was, on the other hand.

But one night, about to give way to the morning, while he was checking his wounds, your sobs had come to him, and so did the next night, and the one after that.

He found himself listening to your silent cry every night, and he watched over you, albeit from a distance. And when he reluctantly had to walk away, he cursed anyone who caused you that unspoken suffering. If only you wanted to tell him he would be ready to protect you, again. But again, you were a fragile, free little bird, and he wasn't enough for you, he wasn't enough to take the pain away from your heart. Someday in the near future that would pass, everything passes for mortals, and maybe he could see you smiling again under the stars. This was what he believed - or hoped for.

But in one of those dark moments, your call rang in his ears and vibrated in his bowels. Wherever he was, he recognized his name spoken by you, in the agony of your nights.

He had joined you immediately, he had immediately appeared there, standing at your bedside.

Your name had escaped his lips perhaps too quickly, and for a few seconds he waited for an answer that never came. In its place, your sobs continued soft and distressed, your body curled up under the pale sheets.

He should have sensed right away, that yours was just a moan in your sleep, but somehow it had been necessary for him to chase the chance to see you again. How long had he not seen you?

Your suffering face made his heart tremble; he would have devoured your nightmares if you asked him.

He again spoke your name, his hand shaking you slightly, trying to tear you out of your dream.

Your reaction had been more violent than he expected and had broken the composure of the Adeptus for a moment, making him move backwards, taken by surprise. However, he thought it was normal, given the sudden awakening.

"Xiao!" His name had been uttered by your voice in amazement, but it was soon abandoned as you took your eyes off his figure "What are you doing here?"

The delicate face of the millennial Yaksha frowned in perplexity. Even now that he was there in front of you, did you persist in hiding your torments from him?

"You called me." His response was swift and straightforward, as always.

"I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to, I'm really sorry." Your apologies were fragile and uncertain.

Xiao let out a slight sigh, while his dark lashes lowered to the precious gold irises.

"Why don't you tell me?" The question he asked you later was unexpected, and for a moment you shivered at the authority of his voice, but he didn't realize "What happened?"

"Nothing." You cut it short and it irritated him. You knew how to be so stubborn when you wanted to.

"I hear your sobs every night."

He didn't want to utter those words as an accusation, maybe he hadn't even done it, but suddenly you stiffened and bowed your head even more, guilty.

"I'm sorry…!" Now your voice was broken and desperate, and a doubt began to creep into Xiao's mind as slimy as a snake.

How long haven't you called him? Why weren't you looking at him? Why weren't you smiling at him anymore?

"Who ... has anyone hurt you?" Now it was he who had lost confidence in his voice.

"Nobody ... really." You had obviously made an effort to stay calm, and somehow reassure him. But even though he didn't really understand human emotions, even though he was a different and detached creature, he could sense you.

"It's me…?" He couldn't explain why, but he felt like he was hurting himself "Am I the reason you cry every night?"

Your silence was a new pain for him. You didn't dare look at him, because it was hard for you to admit how much his distance and his disappointment had upset you.

But behind his sweet stoic face he prayed to have your eyes on him, he prayed for you to remove that horrible, strange feeling that made its way inside him, at least until he was forced to turn his back on you.

Xiao is used to pain and suffering, but that time something had changed. It was something new, something he never wanted to try.

A fist clung to his chest, and he trembled. How long had his hands no longer been shaking?

He thought he was about to give in, he believed that finally his heart would break under the weight of the new, umpteenth, fault of him.

He felt the physical need to vent that sudden wave of suffering that had hit him. He wanted to cry, but Xiao didn't know what it meant to cry, so he didn't, and he just vanished, not even looking at you.

It was the only thing he could do to protect you, right? If he was the cause of your suffering, then he would no longer exist for you. It didn't matter what he did, he didn't even ask himself, he just knew he hurt you. After all, he must already know that this was his destiny.

...

You never called him again, and Xiao never showed up again. Yet, although he endured this condition with the same resignation with which he endured every painful task of him, he realized that the selfish desire he had for you had not ceased. He didn't know how to call it by name, he just knew that it was really selfish, on his part, to expect that a little bird like you at least a little bit remained attached to him.

However, even if you despised him, even if he could no longer hear your voice or your laugh even though you were still breathing, somehow at least he hoped to remain present in your memory.

So every morning a flower was placed on your window sill. He never brought you the same type of flower two consecutive days. He didn't admit it to himself, but he wanted at least in one corner of your mind the whole Liyue to remind you of him. The scent of its flora, its colors and the sweetness of it, he hoped that even if you didn't want those things would make you think of that cruel guardian. Not that Xiao dared compare himself to flowers, no, but certainly those flowers could be compared to you for him.

The Adeptus wasn't good with words, but he was capable of meaningful and powerful gestures - it was something you loved about him.

You didn't need to know that those flowers came from him - even if it was unlikely they were someone else's gifts - and he relied on your kindness to accept them with a smile.

For a while it had worked. Even though he could no longer see you and have you around, that little contact you maintained had given him a sense of peace. In evil it was that little drop of good that gave him the relief he needed.

But he couldn't deserve that either.

One morning, when the first rays of the sun began to paint the earth with the warm colors of dawn, he came to your window. The Glaze Lily he had plucked for you had remained clasped in his hands as his eyes painfully gazed upon the Qingxin he had given you the previous day, left to itself on the windowsill, away from your care.

It was so, even the thought of him you could no longer bear.

The flowers stopped coming and Xiao stopped hoping. He only prayed that Rex Lapis would see your sweetness and cherish it with love, without needing you to endure the protection of a cursed Adeptus.

...

Xiao wanted to see you again, but certainly not right now.

The first thing his mind thought was nothing, then immediately afterwards he wondered which Archon had to thank for not killing you during his battle, and then all that was important was that you were standing in front of him, and looking at him, even if from a distance.

His mask frees his face as soon as his eyes settle on you. How long had he not seen you? For a moment the pain disappears, a wonderful, ephemeral second of peace. And then again the weight of darkness falls upon him.

He should run away, run away from your sight, but like under a spell he is stuck in his place, and you still don't run away.

You are pale and scared, your eyes full of tears. How much have you seen? How long have you been there?

It doesn't matter if the blood that covers him is that of his enemies, of those who want to harm those like you, all that matters is how Xiao now appears before you: a figure disfigured by the red of shattered life, a devouring demon .

He should go, but you call him.

"Xiao ..." His name in your voice is a desperate breath as it is sweet, and you run to meet him in your anguish.

He can't look at you, not when he's like that. He looks at the ground covered in repulsive liquids, without having the courage to meet your judgment. He would have liked to see you again, but now he is ashamed of who he is, he is ashamed of being Alatus, of being the Conqueror of Demons and the Eater of Dreams, he is ashamed of being Xiao before your pure eyes.

Now you are a few steps away, he hears you, but you are afraid to approach. He wonders why you ever even wanted to come close to him again, was it your good heart that pushed you to do it?

"Do you know how it feels to wish for death every day?" He did not want to ask that question, yet he posed it in front of you limpid and clear, as his "no" always are.

If he could die he would no longer distress you, nor would he hurt you, nor would he make you cry. If he could die, all aeons of unspoken pain would disappear. If he couldn't exist, everything would be better. But he can't, he has to live.

"If we are such a heavy burden to you why do you continue to protect us?" Yours is not a nasty question asked, it is rather a sweet worry distorted by insecurity.

His golden eyes return to immerse themselves in yours by instinct, without really wanting to.

"It's my duty, it's my ..." Xiao realizes he can't speak "But you're not ..." he tries again, but he can't.

He can't explain that knot blocking his throat and voice, which he can't spit or swallow.

It is my duty, my contract. But you are not a burden, you will never be.

His eyelids drop again and his head bows in chagrin. You are everything in front of him, and he is nothing in front of you.

"Don't look at me ..." is all he can tell you "You don't have to see me like that."

He was convinced that you didn't want to see him anymore, he was convinced that you wanted to forget him, but then why did your trembling hands rest so lovingly on his face?

"You are so beautiful Xiao." Your broken voice was asking him desperately to believe you, and he in front of your face now so close to him has no way to escape.

The misunderstandings between you two, the pain and the fear, no longer mattered.

Your arms gently encircle his chest and your head rests on his shoulder, without asking for permission, but he won't be the one to walk away, not now that he's found you.

"I'll get you dirty." He murmurs.

"It does not matter." You answer him softly.

You have no respect for the ways of the Adepti, but that is precisely why he needs you.

"Please be happy to live, Xiao."

[avenging-criminal-bones]

After All This Time || Chapter Five

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 2,146

Chapter Summary: Anger. And harshness, maybe feelings. I haven't decided yet so I guess you'll have to just read to find out.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: angst?, asshat hotch again, sad feels

A/N: Guys, I'm like legitimately so sorry that this chapter took so long. It's not even that I've been all that busy. I definitely did go to California for two weeks, but after that I think I just got lazy? Had writer's block? I don't know. But New chapter is UP.

TAGLIST:

@kingofthetwats @wanniiieeee @uwu-sebastianstan @piggyinthesea @yoshigguk @thatisthemagic @errorcosplay67 @ivebeenthinkingboutu @big-galaxy-chaos @rynfoxsleeps @phoenixsnape1 @mojofun @pachiibatt @enjoymyloves @thenewnormalforensicator @word-scribbless @zezezena @chelseyjoyce @ellyhotchner @lora21 @flipperpenguins @illegal-brains @sunnysaysbookreviews @anti-zippy-snoot @kya-li

You come to eleven hours later, the first thing that you hear being the steady beep of a monitor.

The hospital.

It smells... white, the cleanness of it making you scrunch your nose. Still not having opened your eyes, you sense the brightness, almost making you not want to at all.

However, you knew how hospital visits work. When Reid was injured, the whole team was there waiting for him to wake up. With that push, that you had people waiting for you to wake up, you opened your eyes.

Everything was too bright at first. You felt your lips fall into a grimace and joked aloud, "You guys don't need to be so quiet, she lives."

There was no response, and as your vision cleared up, the wind was knocked out of you like a punch to the gut.

Empty.

The whole room was empty. Aside from you and the TV, there was no talking. There were no people.

For a moment you thought that you were dead. Or maybe dreaming, because who wakes up from a seemingly severe injury with no support system? With no friends.

You hear your heartbeat speed up before you feel it, but boy do you feel it when it hits.

The monitor must send an alert to the nurses' station or something because shortly after, a small, black-haired woman rushes into the room.

"Agent L/N? Are you alright, is there any-,"

"I just- where- did my- wh-where is my team?" The stutter surprised you and you sat up fast, not realizing how prominent the pain in your abdomen was until it was too late. You let out a soft gasp, but looked at the nurse to hear an answer.

"Oh, uh, honey... I asked as they left and the tall, broody one said that there was an emergency." She walked up to you and turned a dial on your IV machine, gently asking you to lay down again.

You complied, not fully paying attention. Your mind was somewhere else; thinking about the harshness of your team, but you had to assume that this was Hotchner's doing.

"You alright, sweetie," the kind nurse asks, her name is Monica.

You nod slowly, your head feeling a lot lighter than it had when you woke up. "Yeah. I'm okay. Um, before you go can you hand me my phone?"

She nods, looking at you for where, and you gesture to the bag that's slightly out of your reach. Monica hands you both the phone and its charger, pointing to an outlet on the wall behind your head.

Nodding in thanks, you plug the charger into the wall and watch the kind nurse leave before unlocking your phone. You see immediately that you have five missed calls from your mother, and after further searching, you notice messages from Emily, JJ, and Penelope. JJ's was the most recent, so you open hers first.

JJ (BAU) 43 minutes ago.

Hey Y/N, In case you wake up before we get back, Hotch called our debrief meeting, so we all went back to the precinct. Sorry, hon.

xoxo JJ and the Girls

You didn't register the tears until they were falling down your cheeks. You sighed a bit and replied to JJ's message with a short, 'got it'.

As soon as you pushed the 'send' button, the door to your room opened again and your entire team rushed in.

Well, most of the team.

Really, everyone except one person.

You were quick to wipe your eyes, trying to hide the fact that you had been crying. JJ walked to the chair beside your bed and sat down, giving you the most gentle hug as she did.

"Did you get my message? Are you feeling okay? Do you need a nurse, any water?"

"JJ, you're momming her," Derek joked as he bent to give you a hug. "For real though, you feelin' alright, lil mama?"

You nodded, sending him a tight-lipped smile as Emily walked over to the other side of your bed, bringing Penelope with her on a video call.

Spencer even came by, but he looked relatively uncomfortable and stayed by the door.

Waving at him a bit, you say, "You can come in you know. I won't bite."

"I know, Y/N. I was just worried. Statistically speaking, you survived on an off-chance. The ratio was close to 83:17, and the bullet entered your abdomen in-"

"I get it Spence. I should be dead," you pause slightly seeing everyone's wide-eyed look at your bluntness, "BUT I didn't die, so everyone can stop looking at my like I'm going to break and just settle." You chuckle a bit and sigh as you see the rest of the team besides Spencer nod their heads or visibly relax their shoulders.

"You're right, kiddo," Rossi says quietly, "You're okay, and we can celebrate that."

"Thanks, Rossi." Smiling, you lean into his hand, which was cradling the side of your face for a moment. "Can someone get Hotchner please? I had some words that I'd like to have him hear."

JJ places her hand on your arm then and says, "Y/N, maybe that's not the best idea right now."

"No," you shake your head and make eye contact with her, "That's exactly what I need right now."

"Y/N..."

"Spencer, can you go get him please? He's just sitting out in the lobby, correct?" You snap a little harsher than you meant to.

The boy stutters a bit, but eventually nods his head and walks out of the room. The rest of the team shares a look before also walking out, giving you space for when your boss comes in.

Sitting up straighter in the bed, you even your mouth into a thin line just as Hotchner walks in the room.

"Am I off the clock right now, sir?" You don't miss the way his eyes flash to your lips but you choose to ignore it.

He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, "Say what you need to say, agent."

"Who the hell do you think you are? Calling the debrief not only at a time where one of the team members can't make it, but when the team member is in the hospital with a GSW wound." Your voice rises steadily as you continue talking, but you have more to say. "Not only that, but you couldn't even be bothered to make sure I was okay when the debrief was over?" Subconsciously, you recognize the switch from a third-person mindset to a personal one, but you pay it no mind.

"Agent L/N, you-"

"No. You will call me Y/N, and I will be calling you Aaron. We aren't on the clock right now and you don't deserve my professionalism," the heart monitor spikes in tempo, and you throw the blanket off of your lap.

He quirks an eyebrow at you as you command him, but nods his head slightly, letting you be in control for the moment. "Go ahead, Y/N. You get whatever irrational anger you have towards me out in the open and we can deal with the consequences later."

"I left EVERYTHING for this job, Aaron. I left my mom, who never stopped grieving a lost son, I left my job there thinking this would be better, and I lost friends and people who actually cared about my well-being. People who wouldn't leave one of their own in an unknown hospital to wake up by themself, not sure if they were even actually alive since there wasn't anyone with them." You saw Aaron flinch with everything that you listed, but you didn't care. He needed to hear it. "So yeah, Aaron. I get to be angry, and you don't get to tell me it's irrational, because this is the most rational I think I've been this entire year."

"Y/N. You put not only yourself, but me, and the rest of the team in danger yesterday. Excuse me if I don't want to see you and be around you while you're in the hospital." Really, if burned Aaron to his core that he couldn't reach over and tuck the stray piece of hair behind your ear, because right now that's what he wanted to do. Except it's inappropriate and he's not sure you'd let him within three feet of you.

"NO! You see, that's not how it works. Are you telling me that if you saw a little boy with a gun trained on them, you wouldn't have done the exact same thing?" Hot tears fill your eyes, but you don't wipe them. You almost hope that him seeing you cry will make him feel bad, if even just a little.

Glancing at the way his jaw was set and how he clenched his fists in his lap, you knew he was struggling to keep his cool, so of course you pushed harder.

"What if it was Jack, Aaron."

"Dammit, L/N, it wasn't Jack. It was just some boy that we couldn't save. We shouldn't have been able to save him. You didn't use the training you had, and you didn't use the rational part of your brain. As terrible as that sounds, and trust me, I never want to lose a victim, if you had used the training from the bureau, we wouldn't have saved him. " Aaron stands up and paces the length of the bed then, feeling your eyes following him the whole time.

You shake your head as you let your gaze fall to your lap. "I wasn't going to let him die again... I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

Aaron's eyebrows furrow a bit and he looks at you with angry curiosity in his eyes, "Again? What do you mean by that?" That's when Hotch remembered earlier when you mentioned her mother who lost a son. "Y/N, did your brother... No. Actually, I'm sorry, just forget I said anything,"

There was a dark anger in your eyes as you shook your head. "No, Aaron. Ask me. Ask me this one question, and then reassess your profiling of me."

His gaze turned steely as he squared his shoulders again, showing no emotion in his voice as he spoke. He almost felt like the best way to approach you right now was as if you were the unsub.

"Was your brother murdered, Y/N?"

Dropping your head, you feel the tears burning in your eyes again and you nod. "He was only five. He had his whole life ahead of him. You'd think a child would be safe with a group of nuns or a priest, but no. Not even them. He was branded with a cross before he was killed and it's just unfair."

Aaron starts to walk closer to your bed, seeing the devolving pattern of your breathing, "Y/n, I'm so sorry, I-"

"No. Aaron, just, please go. I'll catch a flight home when I'm allowed to fly again, so you guys just go home and I'll figure it out. I mean, that's what I did when I was waking up by myself, right? Go ahead and fire me if you need to, suspend me, I don't care anymore, but I'll come back when the hospital says it's safe." You take a deep breath and watch as he turns away.

He gets all the way to the door before he turns back around and says, "What was his name."

"Joey."

Hotch nods and walks out of the door, remembering that the final victim, the one that you saved, was named Joseph.

After the encounter with Hotch you fell asleep. The heavy medication and the anger in your head knocked you out easily. You were asleep for a few hours, but you woke up when your pain medication wore off.

You noticed that your work phone had a few notifications, so you sat up a bit and looked through them.

There were two that stood out to you. The first one was a notification that read "Hotchner (Asshat) has added you to the group 'BAU Team'". The second was his message in that group chat.

Hotchner (Asshat) 2 hours ago

Hey team, change in plans. We will be staying here until Y/N gets cleared to fly. It should only be a couple of days and I know we were planning on flying out tonight. Sorry, Thanks.

As soon as you liked his message, your texts were blowing up from Emily. She was saying stuff about how "he totally likes you", and about, "you had a rough time on this case".

Also, apparently Derek saved all of his sarcasm for when Hotch got back, and the thought made you smile.