#when i wrote about ladybug having well developed compartmentalization that post was about me
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i have questions tho
#like with the irritability and aggression symptoms. does it count if i have those but i also have extremely tightly held self control#like yes i used to feel like this all the time throughout high school and that was the fucking worst but i've figured out coping mechanisms#i would not have survived this long if i had not been able to crawl my way out of my five anxiety attacks a week era#sophomore year! was! hard!#but now that i'm uncovering shit that happened when i was a kid and all the shit i have boxed away my entire life#when i wrote about ladybug having well developed compartmentalization that post was about me#i literally put things in boxes in my head. i separate myself from the emotional effect of things so that i can be as fair and#logical as i possibly can be. like yes i've had nightmares since i was a kid. yes i've had depressive symptoms since i was seven.#yes that's when one of my major traumas occurred. why have i never connected these dots#they literally sent me to GRIEF COUNSELING bc they thought my sudden behavioral change was a delayed reaction to my parents' divorce#vent cw#mental illness cw#i just need to talk this out#when i get to donna's office on 3pm thursday we will be so back#mer rambles
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