#when i was a kid we used to sing cartoon intros on the bus during school trips

[milla984]

1, 18 and 34 !!! <333

Varsh, my love <333 <333

who is/are your comfort character(s)? Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia, Dean Winchester, Gabriel (SPN), Daria (from the '90s MTV sitcom)

what hair products do you use? Lush shampoo bar (peppermint + clove + cinnamon); henna to cover gray hair

is there a song you know every word to by heart? ...this might be a good time to admit I can sing the entire Cats libretto bc at one point in life I got weirdly addicted  XD 

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

[theaterkid821]

Gather ‘round peeps. It’s story time. (Spoilers for changes so don’t read if you’re seeing it soon in the future)

Pre-show

So the first thing I feel like I need to say is that if you are a purist for what they call BMC 1.0, you may not like this. There were a lot of changes to lyrics and lines. It was the same show we all love, but it was different. I loved most of the changes but I can see why some people wouldn’t. 

In Will Roland’s bio, he says “actor/singer/human.” That’s not important to the show, but it was important to me that you know that. 

Also something for my fellow plus size people, the seats are not the most accommodating. Hopefully that isn’t a deterrent, but it is something you should probably know. 

They have a thing called squiptheline.com where you can preorder your merch and pick them up. I got poster, sticker pack, and lip balm (they are mountain dew and mountain dew red)

And then it begins...

They had the SQUIP do the intro and it was beautifully hysterical. 

They lit up the dot on the “i” (which was a little pill) on the curtain-thing 

The shelves behind Jeremy’s bed were full of nerd shit and it was beautiful. 

Jeremy has glasses. Nerd level even higher

Jeremy’s dad comes on with unwashed bowls of cereal, old pizza boxes, and cartoons on. Really adds to his depressed aesthetic. 

When he’s leaving, you see the mailbox full of mail.

He comes back on as the bus driver so quickly.... how?

During the dance bit, he runs into everyone and shouts “girls!” and then shouts “boys!”

Instead of “so Jenna Roland... I mean slutty” dialogue, they change it to “What are you staring at.... I’ve never even noticed him.”

Signup comes from up above. It’s awesome. 

Christine comes on to catch her Eos chapstick (as someone who uses Eos chapstick, I can tell you this is 100% accurate) and then dramatic application

After second verse, before Michael’s entrance, they have Chloe talk dodge a question about her and Jake’s breakup and then Jenna says she saw him with someone. To which Chloe responded, “tell me everything” and then exited. 

George Salazar is amazing and I love him. 

Even from the beginning, with Michael you weren’t sure on the LGBTQ+ spectrum he was, but he DEFINITELY wasn’t straight. 

(Headcannon #1 they used; Michael’s has 2 moms); when seeing the infamous “boyf” “riends,” he took out his phone to take a selfie and said “my mothers would be thrilled!”

Play thing came down from the sky again and Christine lay on the floor for a little bit so you could see her face underneath until it covered her

She did the chorus line dance!

The awkwardness of the scene before I Love Play Rehearsal. 10/10. 

The popular kids knocked Christine and Jeremy off the chairs (my poor babies!)

Slightly after Jake impressing Christine: “Why are you guys doing the play anyways” “Brooke’s doing it because of Chloe, Chloe’s doing it because of me, and Rich is doing it because he’s my boy” “and why are you doing it” “well i’m doing it because of you”

Bathroom scene even had the florescent lights come down.

Rich flushes Jeremy’s head down the urinal (poor child I wanted to hug him)

They whispered “so its like... drugs?” “it’s better than drugs Jeremy”

ITS FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN. ‘Nough said

The projection behind the backup was TERRIFYING. They projected people all in white behind them doing the movements.

The rolled the bed on stage for 2 Player Game

Screaming “The cafetorium!” and then having the quieter music as they sit and play the game, emotionless was beautiful. 

“You’re like this bottle of Crystal Pepsi that expired in 1996″ “Is that safe for human consumption?” “Gets better with age”

They had a projection of the game in the background at the end.

They had fog in the shoebox as well as a blue light

“to activate take with mountain dew... not sure why.... and this is important, to deactivate-we’re sold out!”

And then never ended that thought...

“how do you feel?” “like...” singing to add to the dramatic moment and then... “a chump.”

“this guy is hooking me up with a case of ecto-something (i forget). It’s the ghostbusters drink they discontinued in the 90s!” “What does it taste like?” *whispered* “Ghosts!”

(Headcannon #2 they used; Jeremy being a furry); “my default mode you can also set me for... sexy anime female in cat suit with tail.”

They added an intro to Be More Chill

They cut out “i’m a super computer Jeremy, I’m made of math”

The SQUIP was sitting on the clothing rack for the clothing store part

Chloe broke a hanger after hearing he went with Madeline

For Do You Want a Ride, it started with Brooke began by slowly dragging the straw in and out of her soda can ;)

For the Reprise of Be More Chill, they had both the old lady in the track suit, and a lady in the scooter

her license plate said “bingo queen”

SQUIP comes back on in this weird jacket

New song here! Synched Up!

The SQUIP fixes his vision and he doesn’t need the glasses

It’s hard to describe the song, but it’s about friends being “synched” and how everyone is hiding something underneath.

You hear Michael a couple times, but you don’t see him

Talking about Mr. Reyes “his dreams are dead. That’s why he eats so many hot pockets” (hot pockets is sing-song)

When Jeremy says he was doing performance art, Christine has her own idea for a performance art piece. You don’t hear anything about the idea until then end when she’s squatting and shouts “and then I give birth to the bowling ball!”

You don’t hear it because the SQUIP is talking to Jeremy saying she’s unusual because she doesn’t seem to care what anyone else thinks. 

During play rehearsal: “bring me patient zero!” “cough!” (she says cough). Then Brooke says her line in stressed iambic pentameter.

They had little hearts for Guy I’d Kinda Be Into

The SQUIP was all ready to point to Jeremy at the end and then was like “wtf” when she said Jake

They had bleachers for the football field for the scene before and during Upgrade

“She wants to make out with you” “Ive never made out with anyone in my life”

End of Brooke’s solo in the beginning, they changed. “So kiiiiiiiiiiiiss meeeeeeee.” *giant pause and then repeated melody* “like noooooooooooooooow” 

They added dialogue after Jake and Christine which lead to this layering thing of them all singing “I’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am”

Loser Geek Whatever is so much more emotional than even when i saw it off broadway.

The SQUIP came back out in a very elaborate dress/jacket thing. It was cool

They played a jazzy version of the Pants Song during intermission

Christine dressed as a sexy princess 

They added more harmonies to Halloween

Chloe was wasted for Do You Wanna Hang

The SQUIP fell onto the bed after going into factory setting

They took out the 

Michael In the Bathroom... if you have a chance to see George Salazar perform this live, I highly recommend

Christine and Jeremy communicating through sounds is beautiful and just... a mood. 

There was a sparkly red bra behind them

Rich takes a pumpkin and sets the house on fire. 

For Smartphone hour, the changed the first verse of the chorus to “Rich set a fire and he burned down Jake’s house” which helps me immensely (fun fact, someone once thought I was crazy because my friend once texted me “did Rich set his own house on fire, or Jake’s house?” and they saw it and thought my friends were arsonists. I mean, I am somewhat insane, but... not for that reason)

Michael and the dad’s female characters came down from the ceiling.

Michael had shark slippers, Rich had unicorn slippers, and Jeremy’s dad was in a onesie that said “naughty”

I have said this before and I will say this again, it takes real courage to be on stage in front of a few hundred people and sing whilst in your boxers

Michael was wearing weed socks and was smoking of course

Jeremy’s dad thought he was burning incense lol

Christine: “Everyone is hurting and I don’t know how to help. So I guess I’ll just do theatre.” got such a laugh

They basically rewrote all the lyrics for Pitiful Children

Robotic kick-line

Christine knows what a SQUIP is because someone in her theatre camp took one and is now in a mental hospital... coincidence?

The SQUIP comes down from the sky and his chest lights up

Michael breaks through the paper scenery for “MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE!”

Everyone in zombie costumes for the fight scene makes the parallels to the game so much better

Rich has the lisp!

(Headcannon #3 they use; Rich and Michael); “anti-social headphones kid... is he single?” *sees him* “oh hiiiiii.” “Hi Rich,” *very awkwardly* “Bye Rich!” If you don’t want it, you don’t have to see it. But if you do ship it... oh my god.

He puts on his glasses again!

(Headcannon #4 they use; calling the group the squad); they rewrote the verse for Chloe, Jake, Brooke, and Jenna. they say to Jeremy “we’re your squad” not exactly the SQUIP squad, but still

When asked what her SQUIP looked like, Christine said RBG

For the date, Jeremy suggests the performance art she said she wanted to do.

At the end, there’s a projection of the SQUIP in the background

I’m tagging people who liked the previous post or commented so... Tag list: @molly-wonder-queer @72748-blog @simranthefangirl