#when i think about how my gender feels i think of alma. she is the ultimate shapeshifting disaster bisexual.

[cpmhew]

rules: happy pride! choose your 9 favorite canon LGBTQIA+ characters! 🏳️‍🌈 

i was tagged by the ever-delightful @highkingpenny

Choosing favorites is impossible so to help me stop obsessing, I'm calling this nine I love!! Pictured here in no particular order:

Tookie, from The Sentence by Louise Erdrich (art by Vincent Mahé for NYT)

Eliot Waugh from The Magicians. both the tv show and the books!

Margo Hanson from The Magicians tv show

Edward Teach / Blackbeard from Our Flag Means Death

Garnet from Steven Universe

Robin Swift from Babel by R.F. Kuang (I can't find any images of him so I'm using some birds from the book cover)

the thirteenth Doctor from Doctor Who

Louis de Pointe du Lac from Interview with the Vampire on AMC. this is THE only LDPDL, i do not accept or acknowledge any others.

Alma Rosales aka Jack Camp from The Best Bad Things by Katrina Carrasco

no pressure at all but if you want to play, i'm tagging @thegingergal, @faersflower, @asofterhibou, @bripops, @lunaraindrop, @thelucindac, @yourtinseltinkerbell, @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier, and anyone else who wants to participate!

[b3rrymilks]

𝐌𝐢 𝐋𝐮𝐳 𝐲 𝐌𝐢 𝐀𝐥𝐦𝐚

☀︎︎ — synopsis : after his fathers passing, he begged uncle aaron to teach him how to protect the ones he loved. his uncle had a way. but was he ready for the sacrifice that came with it?

☀︎︎ — notes : this is just a headcannon! i’m not saying this is cannon, i just like to think about it that way. this is pre-vigilante e!42 miles. a lil bit of fluff and angst. most of the spanish stuff is from spanishdict, so i’m so sorry if it isn’t accurate 💔 [ labeling reader as fem because of the choice of clothes and i was unsure if any nb or male readers may be uncomfortable, it’s mostly gender neutral if you squint :) ]

☀︎︎ — pairing : miles morales (e!42) x fem!reader

♬ — “are you busy?” was the text you received from miles, striking your attention. it had been about 3-4 weeks since his fathers passing. since he was the type to go non verbal during grieving, you decided to leave him be until he was ready to speak on his own.

“no i’m free, why? do you need me to get you something?” you replied, providing all the help he might need. he loved you. he called you “mi luz” or “mi alma” (my light or soul) his mother was more appreciative of you because of the way you cared for miles and his entire family.

“no, i just want to see you. can i come get you in about 10 minutes?” his texts had lost that playful energy that was there before his father passed away. you knew it would be a while before you could spent genuine time with miles, but he needed to heal.

“of course, i’ll be ready when you get here.” he had left the text read, leaving a little thumbs up on the message. you then quickly got out of bed and began to get dressed. wearing a skirt and a light colored top. when you walked downstairs, your parents asked what the occasion was. “going out with miles, i’m not sure when i’ll be back” something about mentioning miles made your mother stand up quickly, gathering the vase of flowers from the living room. “take these to his mother please, she’s been missing work and i want to give her a gift.” you nodded, taking the vase and waiting for miles to arrive.

when he did arrive, the light in his eyes was gone. “flowers?” he asked. “my mom wants to give these to your mom” you explained. “can we stop by your house first before we go?” earning a nod from him, he took your hand and guided you down the steps of your apartment. the walk was quiet, and the sun was still beaming. he wore his hood over his head to block out some of the sun as you used your hand. when you both arrived, you stood outside the door. miles watched as you stood there, unsure if you wanted to step inside. “it’s okay, she’s not here right now.” he told you, pointing his head to signal you could walk in. you placed the flowers and note on the living room table and left their apartment.

miles had taken you to an open field. the smell of different flowers had filled the air around you. he was so quiet. you wanted to give him physical affection but you were unsure if he wanted any. while observing the view, he gently wrapped his arms around you from behind. he had taken notice to your choice of clothing, and how the cool breeze made goosebumps rise on your soft skin. “hm.” he hummed, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around you. “miles?” you called out to him, “yea?” he softly answered. still hugging you from behind. “promise me you’ll take care of yourself during this period of time.” you had pulled away from the hug and turned to face him. his face had hesitancy written all over it, which made you take his hands into yours. his hands were bruised, and small cuts decorated his knuckles.

still quiet, you pulled him into a frontal hug. “i promise you. but i want you to promise me something too.” you could feel the vibrations from his voice through your shoulder, as his chin rested there. “anything miles.” you responded. “prométeme que no cambiarás. no cambiarás siendo mi felicidad. no cambiarás nada entre nosotros. te amo y estoy haciendo esto para protegerte.” his words, “my happiness” made you truly realize how special you were to miles. what you meant to him. how badly he wanted to protect you. you pulled him tighter into the hug, sniffling. “no llores bebé” he pulled away from the hug and held your face, watching your tears fall. his thumb gently wiped away the tears. “you’re too pretty to cry.” he whispered.

around you was a cool breeze that really tied all these emotions together. grief, sadness, happiness. all of those tied together and drifting away in the breeze. moments passed and you two remained holding eachother, you picking leaves that blew in the wind out of his hair. taking in all of his features, as it may be the last time you would be this close with him again. “promise you’ll be here to celebrate our anniversary though?” you looked up at him from his lap where you were laying. “i wouldn’t miss it for the world”

when he walked you home, he held your hand tightly. he never wanted to let you go. but he was doing this to protect you and his family. what remained of his family. “i love you.” he took your head in his hands and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. “i love you too miles. remember our promises please.” you also pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, watching him nod. before walking into your home, you turned around and hugged him one final time.

“hey honey, how was it?? you’ve been out for hours” your mother and father were sitting in the dining room, eating. “it was great,” you responded. you sat at the table with your parents, playing with the zipper of his jacket you wore. “i’m planning to go out with rio for a self care day tomorrow—“ you listened to your mother speak about her plans while eating dinner. the rest of the day you spent with your family. even though the pit in your stomach had been filled, you still worried about miles. the measures he would go to for his loved ones.

𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 : the way i cried when i saw this art. (the cover art made by crittlyworm on tiktok) had to write something about it, made me so sad bro 💔 i wanna know so much about e!42 miles in beyond the spider-verse!! like i have so many questions. but i hope whoever read this enjoyed it 🥹.

[cartelheir]

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

name: patricia carosella.

nickname: pat.

gender: female.

sexuality: almost straight. like a 1 on the kinsey scale if we went by that.

preferred pet names: in spanish, her favorites are cariño or amor or mi alma. if you're not a native spanish speaker, there's two options: calling her a pet name in your native language, or learning one in spanish for her. both will make her melt. she also doesn't really mind it if there's no pet name at all or if it's just reserved for special occasions tbh.

relationship status: single. in some verses she's married, but don't take this as a lack of availability lmao.

opinion on true love: it's complicated. she believes that even if it is real, it's never going to happen to her. yet she craves it like crazy and unconsciously searches for it in the people she falls in love with.

opinion on love at first sight: she believes in lust at first sight, but definitely not love.

how 'romantic' are they?: in some ways more than others. she doesn't like it when her partner is too clingy, and grand declarations of love, unless they actually feel organic and natural, can fall flat with her as she's not sure how to respond (and again can fall into the clingy category if overdone). however she does enjoy many aspects of romanticism, such as gifts, going on dates, being surprised with something she likes, maybe making a crazy decision or two on the name of love, etc. and, of course, physical touch, one of her main love languages.

ideal physical traits: pat doesn't have a lot of specific physical traits that she prefers over others. in general, it's more of a vibe or style or demeanor that catches her attention when it comes to looks. i guess if i had to pick some, brown eyes, clean shaven or facial hair on the softer side (like stubble or at most a goatee rather than a full beard), strong arms/shoulders, taller than her.

ideal personality traits: assertiveness, even if that kind of personality tends to clash with hers sometimes. confidence bordering on arrogance (she thinks it's sexy). someone who doesn't have a lot of morals and maybe is a little bit evil (also sexy). she's very much attracted to power and success so being ambitious goes a long way too.

unattractive physical traits: being shorter than her (she's 5'1, so to her it's just unacceptable). also being unkept. i joke a lot about pat wanting to dress up her partners and preferring an elegant style, but she's way more willing to accept a style that's different from what she usually likes as long as there was actual thought put into it. does the outfit match? are the clothes ironed and nice or are they old and worn-out? do they style their hair or just walk out of the door without paying attention to what they look like? she's just not into the messy aesthetic.

unattractive personality traits: boredom and meekness. pat can't stand pushovers, she likes to have a partner who challenges her and who would rather argue with her than just agree with everything she says for the sake of being too nice or avoiding potential conflict. someone who's too apologetic or too insecure just wouldn't work for her, as she would look down on them for those traits.

ideal date: going out to dinner somewhere she can dress up. or being surprised with a spontaneous, unusual date.

do they have a type?: older men, typically in positions of power and high social status. i can go on and on about why, but there are dozens of posts around my blog about how her experiences shaped that. this is not a rule, but it is a cycle that she has a lot of trouble breaking, and it typically takes a very special bond with someone to get her to deviate a lot from it.

average relationship length: a few months, she's very chaotic so most don't last much longer than that. however when she gets attached, or when there's a serious commitment like a marriage (in the case of alt verses), she's reluctant to break things off even when they're bad.

preferred non-sexual intimacy: as i mentioned before she's big on physical touch, so cuddling, kisses, hugs, or even just holding hands or leaning against each other as they watch tv or do something else. but her favorite kind of intimacy is when someone treats her like a priority and makes her feel special. like including her in things, remembering things about her, or spending time with her even though they could be doing something else. she likes the idea of someone choosing to be with her because they like her company, not because they're stuck with her for whatever reason or because they just want sex from her. it might not seem like a lot, but it's really important to her.

opinion of public affection: she's okay with it, but prefers sticking to holding hands, hugs, quick kisses, etc. long kisses/making out, maybe in a crowded party, but she prefers to be in private.

past relationships?: her most impactful relationship was obviously the one with césar navarro, in which she was a victim of grooming and a lot of abuse. regardless of the verse, she still carries deep wounds from this relationship that affect basically all aspects of her life and how she sees love. after that, there have been many chaotic dysfunctional relationships, most of them short-lived.

tagged by: no one but i do what i want tagging: @citylighten, @sharpsuite, @flmed, @americanedpsycho, @wiinestories, @stainedpast + everyone just steal this

[lingering-42-long]

Request - Rodolfo Para x Reader [Fluff]

Prompt/Idea (you don't have to use it) - The reader is new to the special forces and is very shy. Some people question her on how she got into the special forces despite being heavily shy, she feels like an outcast. Until Rudy notices her and decides to take her out to make her feel more welcome.

Bonus: Alejandro ships them heavily

Polilla

Rodoflo Para x gender neutral Reader

Ask and you shall receive! I am all for this juicy juice! Sorry it took so long to write this! The reader isn’t explicit on what gender. I did write this for a female, but you can apply for male.

Warnings: fluff, mentions of death,

Note: I am very aware that superiors are not supposed to be dating their subordinates in the military, but this is a game that also teaches war crimes so…. I wanted to try my hand at writing in different styles as well. That’s why I am writing in a gender neutral form.

It was your ability to hack into Any security device that led you onto the special forces team known as Vaqueros of the city Las Almas. Your gift was unmatched by anyone, even the hardest of Coding cannot keep you out for more than five minutes, however; as renowned of a hacker as you were you were also a recluse. Rarely adventuring outside of your respected office and room only to accompany those on missions.

You weren’t very strong you didn’t have survival skills and overall most people would consider you as a liability. The most people didn’t know that you had the gift. They saw you as face value which is understandable considering that you didn’t make an attempt to reach out for yourself. It’s not that you didn’t like people it’s just it was very difficult for you to interact with others. You did not know what to say at parties, you did not know how to respond to certain questions, nor you did not have the same Charisma that others had. I you were an enigma to everyone on the team who didn’t know you personally.

Alejandro Vargas, Commander of the special forces, and his second-in-command Rodoflo Para ,and a handful of others, were the only ones that knew your skills and your strength. It wasn’t like anybody else didn’t try. There are many soldiers who found you attractive and reached out to you, But out of panic, you declined. Leaving you to kick yourself mentally for ruining another good chance at being with a partner.

Most only asked once before moving on, except Rodoflo. He was different. He never pressured you, or over asked you, or made you feel uncomfortable. If anything, he always tried to include you in almost any exercise or activity the team was performing for fun.

He went by the nickname Rudy. He was A tentative to you, watching you from afar, not in a creepy way, but in a loving, respectful way, like a photographer watching wildlife.

Rudy knew that a lot of times you worked late into the night, Knowing that that’s the best time that you got the most work done when everyone was asleep and you didn’t have to feel the pressure of the world on your shoulders. He would come in and gently knock on the door before entering, handing you A cup of tea and asking how everything was going, genuinely curious about the progress that you’re making.

At first you were nervous about having a superior looking over your shoulder, thinking that he wanted to report on your progress, but after some time you grew used to having his presence at night. Sometimes when he couldn’t sleep he would ask to join you, of course you said yes thinking that he needed to talk to you about some thing, however; no words came out. He just sat reading a book as you would work from your desk. The silence was stifling but over time it became welcomed.

The two of you now had a ritual. Around ten to eleven in the night, he would meet you in the office with two mugs of tea and a book for him, almost every night. What nights he couldn’t make it he would let you know. Rudy was always good and making sure to check in with whatever he was doing with you.

As of recent, there had been a mission That had gone south. Few casualties, lots injured, and no progress. You had did everything you could to get into the security system, but there was somebody on the other end that was manually blocking you. A lot of the members on the team, due to low morale, began blaming you for the lost cause. “What good is a hacker if they can’t even open a simple door.” Or “ I bet they are a mole.” Or “We lost a lot of good friends because of them.” This was your time to shine and you blew it. Even though deep down in your heart, you knew that there was nothing that you could have done, and you had did everything that you could possibly do, it still ate away at your soul.

You hid in your room. With all of the rumors spreading around, all you wanted to do was just vanish, to hide, to disappear. You could hear people on the other side of the door, any time somebody walked by your door they would make it very clear on how they felt about you with the others, louder than usual so that you could hear what they were saying. The words echoed around your dark room. You felt responsible for the deaths because you couldn’t open a door.

Sometime in the night you heard a knock on the door. “Go away.” You called out, not wanting to be bothered. “Please, mi polilla, let me in.” It was Rudy. You sighed, you couldn’t escape from everything as much as you wanted to try. “Come in” you called and the door opened, revealing Rodoflo Holding two mugs, a book, and a thick blanket. “I… I know you’re going through a rough time right now… I… I wanted to see if you would like to join me in the mess hall for some reading… no one’s up.” He looked at you with hopeful eyes. “I’m…. Im not ready to come out…” you sunk deeper in the bed trying to curl up and fade from the world. “Oh… then may I join you?” He asked gently, not trying to overstep his boundaries. Right now he was not her commander, right now he was her friend.

You looked at him unsure, but you finally decided that you needed somebody to talk to. “Sure.” That is all you said. He came in quietly, shutting the door behind him. He sat down your mug of tea on your nightstand as he sat across from you. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Like shit.” You groaned “ I can’t believe I failed… so many lives depended on me to open that door…”

“Hey now! Listen to me, it happens to all of us. Don’t think I don’t regret some of my own decisions that I’ve made in the past. You’re not the only one who regrets not being able to have control over a situation” his words were firm but gentle. Rudy knew what it was like to have the guilt of the world on ones shoulder.

“What does ‘mi polilla’ mean.” You ask after a while of silence.

“What?” Rudy looked at her in the dim light of her lamp.

“mi polilla. You called me that… what does it mean?”

“Oh!” Rodoflo chuckled, “it means my moth. It’s fitting because you always stay up at night, no?”

“Yeah.. I guess so…” you looked outside at the training yard. If you were on night duty patrolling the yard walking around making sure the gates were secured but mostly it was a quiet night. You could hear the crickets outside of the window chirping and the occasional owl hoot. In the distance coyotes were howling.

“Care to walk with me outside? It’s a nice night.”

You thought about it. “ I think fresh air would do me good.” You carefully got up out of bed. You were still wearing your On base outfit, a simple Olive green shirt and camo pants. So was Rudy.

The both of you took a stroll around the base perimeter. The guards that were out did not pay too much mind as they were too busy making sure that the place was secure for the night. You had your hands in your pocket. While the days in Las Almas were hot, they gave away to cool nights. Mainly because the sand did not hold in the heat very well. You fell and I’m around your shoulder. Rodoflo walked alongside you, enjoying The cool quiet nights with only the noises of distant animals keeping you company. “I am sorry that it has been rough for you this past few months. But please know that the commander and myself and many others are very glad that you could be on our team… I know the others are giving you trouble but it is not your fault.” He spoke with reassurance, his eyes glistening in the Moonlight. Looking down, you noticed some small, tiny flowers in the pavement cracks. A little tiny moth was fluttering around the flowers, its fat body beating its wings furiously in order to stay on one of the flowers stems.

“You know… I have always been really fond of you… you are Smart, intelligent, funny, creative, sarcastic… you may not think so but I love the things that you talk about. You’re so intuitive about it small details and things that you’re passionate about. One of my favorite things is when you tell me stories from your childhood.” There was a slight blush on his cheeks but it was hard to see in the night, underneath the light posts.

“If I didn’t know any better I would assume that you were telling me you have a crush on me.” A slight chuckle came from your lips.

“And what if I was?” His voice was soft, quiet, but firm. He was being honest with her

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past few months… surely you knew that’s what I was doing, right?” Rudy looked at you.

The sudden realization hit you hard. Every time he would ask you to go out with him, every time he would spend time with you when he could be sleeping, every time he would look at you from across the table in the mess hall watching you. He was silently letting you know he was interested in you. He wanted to be with you. Rodoflo Para was truly infatuated with you..

“No…no I didn’t know” You too blushed as you looked away, The overwhelming amount of shyness washing over you as you wanted to retreat somewhere.

“I understand if you don’t see me the same way, but I do ask that you… consider me-“

“Yes!” You blurted out. “I mean yes I do consider you…. I’m sorry I’m not very good with these sort of advances. I’ve been on my own since a teen I think I forgotten how to communicate with other individuals.”

Rodoflo gave a lighthearted chuckle. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute…. Does that mean that you want to see if this works out?” He gave a simple gesture between the two of you as he faced you head on.

“Yes… I want to try.” You nodded and noticed the man grinning.

“Wow… ok… umm.” He got flustered from the sudden realization that you liked him. “There’s a local Café in town I like to go to on my off days… would you be willing to join me there?”

“Yes. I would love that.” You chuckled and held onto his arm for the first time, being the bold one. “Come on let’s go back inside, I’m getting cold.”

“Ah! Sí. It’s well past our bedtime.” Rudy laughed. “May I walk you to your quarters, Mi polilla?”

“Yes” you smiled as the two of you walked back into bace. The little flower in the pavement gently bended to a slight breeze that had blown across it, making the fat little moth flutter off into the night.

Alejandro Watched from his window at the two, smiling to himself, “Good for you Rudy, You finally did it.” He had been watching the two from a distance and he had never been more happier, knowing that his best friend finally made the move on the person that he loved. He went back to working on his computer finishing up late night work before heading home.

[thelazybard]

Instead I Pour the Milk. [Alejandro Vargas x fem!Reader] Chapter 5: Lonely

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

ao3 saw it first at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42983298/chapters/108273948

"But darling you are the only exception." 

-Hayley Williams, The Only Exception

You would have preferred if Guillermo shit under the couch. That would have been so, so much easier to deal with.

Mew.

Mew. Mew. Mew.

You were in your apartment, standing over a box of Guillermo and his– err, her kittens. When you heard the mewling after coming back from the grocery store that night you immediately sprung into action. You got your siesta blanket, put it in an old box and carefully began transferring the litter into it from under the couch. Guillermo watched, obviously trusting you, and followed you upstairs to your apartment.

One cat was going to be hard enough to explain, now there was five. Two orange, a white, and a black kitten. You weren't sure of the genders yet. That was the least of your worries.

You put your hands on your hips. "You heifer! I was fully convinced you were just a big tomcat."

Guillermo narrowed her eyes at you, clearly unimpressed, and laid her head back down to continue her nap while her kittens breastfed. Sighing, you left your closet door open a crack so Guillermo would feel safe and went to mop up her mess.

Later, David came home and you met him at the door, smiling sweetly. He looked at you up and down then narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?" He asked, suit jacket draped over his shoulder.

You scoffed. "Whaaat? What makes you so sure I did something?"

"That's the exact face you make when you've done something bad."

You laughed nervously. "Bad is such a strong word, Dave. I think a better word would be silly, or perhaps unexpected–"

"Scout."

"I adopted a cat." You deadpanned.

His expression was a mix of shock, annoyance and betrayal.  "You did what?! Scout you know how I feel about cats!"

"I know! But, this one was found in our garbage and–"

"Oh yeah that totally makes it better. Please don't tell me you named it."

To tapped your fingertips together. "Her name is Guillermo."

"Son of a– Wait, "her"? Why is her name Guillermo?"

"Because I thought she was a boy at first."

"Well how the hell can you tell now?"

"...Because she had kittens."

David clutched his chest and found a seat on the sofa. "I was gone for ten hours, Scout."

"I promise, once the kittens are weened I'll find them their forever homes, but please let me keep Guillermo."

David sighed. "Fine, fine. Just keep her away from me, alright?"

You leaned down to hug him. "You're the best!"

"Go to Hell." He replied, putting his large hand on your face and pushing you backwards away from him.

The rest of the weekdays flew by. Work was busy, but manageable. Nanami and her wife stopped in on Thursday for lunch and you happily served them. They talked about their jobs and family, and that's when you learned they had one child and another on the way. You were happy for them, truthfully. So much so, that it overcame the biting envy you felt in your belly.

Come Friday you were beginning to feel drained, but luckily David was willing to help you through the weekend.

"I think once I start getting really good business I'll hire a person or two." You explained to David as you swept behind the counter.

"That'll be nice. Having some workers will give you some time off. For someone who wanted to move to Las Almas for the city life, you certainly don't get out much."

"You don't have to tell me that," You sighed, leaning your elbows on the counter.

"Speaking of going out; If my date tonight goes well, like really well, I might be uh... bringing her home." He winced.

You mock saluted while taking a big gulp of tea. "Got it. I'll steer clear."

"It's still early enough in the day to find a date for you. Want me to set you up with someone? I'm sure I can find an eligible coworker who's free tonight."

You rolled your eyes. "You're just trying to hook me up with someone to ease your conscience about bringing dates home. I don't care, if anything I owe you for the situations with Guillermo and the kittens."

"Yeah well... my offer still stands."

"No thank you, David. If I start seeing someone, I'd like for it to happen organically."

"I hear you."

He went off to work and you enjoyed a productive day at the shop. At the end of the night when you were organizing receipts, you noticed on two of them there were phone numbers underneath the totals. You remembered whose receipt was whose, too. One was a soldier and the other was that nurse from the other day who visited again today. Do you save their numbers in your phone or pretend you never saw so they have no choice but to give their number to you personally? You went with the latter. If someone was going to pursue you, you wanted them to be upfront. A man who tosses his phone number around like rice likely doesn't have the most romantic intentions in mind.

In the middle of that night you were woken up by the unmistakable sound of a bedframe creaking. Your eyes shot open and you immediately muffled your ears with your pillow. Nope, could still hear it.

Well, their date must have went well.

"Maybe if I press down hard enough I can suffocate myself." You whispered aloud. It wasn't until you heard David's date moan through the wall that you leapt out of bed with your phone, blanket and headphones and zipped downstairs to sleep in the loft.

You read the time. 3:04. You had to get up in a few hours! Grumbling, you settled yourself on one of the couches and tried to get back to sleep, but your mind kept wandering to what David said earlier.

For someone who wanted to move to Las Almas for the city life, you certainly don't get out much.

You frowned and your heart sunk into your chest as you stared at the loft ceiling. It was true, and this wasn't the first time you thought about how lonely you were. Sure you met friendly people like Abuelita and Nanami, but there was something missing from your life: Romance. It seemed to be all around you. It was certainly a romantic city despite it beginning to fall victim to the Cartel. It was still in the architecture, music and community.

You dated before, back home, but each time the relationship ended because you wouldn't budge on your decision to move to Las Almas, and they were never willing to move for you. Now that you were here, technically nothing was stopping you from finding "the one" but your rusty dating skills. It was almost frightening trying to get back in the game after so long. Dating was nothing like riding a bike, more like trying to get a bow on a rabid squirrel. 

You came to Las Almas to start your life and it's been nothing but a struggle just to begin. You're already single with five cats. How comically dreadful. 

You eventually found sleep, but a few winks later your alarm was rousing you off the couch and back upstairs. It appeared that David and his date were sleeping now, so you were able to get ready for the day in peace. Guillermo and her kittens were doing well, and you figured you'd have to call the nearest vet and schedule an appointment for all five of them. The mama cat kneaded kitty biscuits in the air at you when you peaked your head in the closet. You saved her, and she wouldn't soon forget that.

"I should have you downstairs kneading the dough," You said to her with a smile and scratched behind her ears. She trilled at you before you left her to her motherhood.

Hours later, shop already open and a dozen hungover people in your lobby having eggs and coffee, David and his date finally came downstairs and sat at the counter

David was awfully chipper, but his date seemed a little bashful. Gee, you wondered why. "Scout, this is Eva." David introduced.

You smiled at her as you passed by with a basket of freshly cleaned and folded rags. "Nice to meet you, Eva."

"It's nice to meet you too. Sorry if we were, um..."

You put the basket under the counter and shook your head. "Don't worry about it. I didn't hear a thing." You lied, taking time to shoot David a look while Eva looked over your menu. He winced and mouthed "I'm sorry" and you rolled your eyes and poured his usual cup of coffee.

They ordered breakfast and right as you served them, Alejandro walked into the store and you nearly dropped Eva's omelette. They turned around to see what had you so shook, and David looked back at you and quirked a brow. All this talk about Alejandro and you forgot he was a real person and not some local myth of a handsome but elusive God. Well, he certainly had the handsome part down.

"Alejandro, hi!" You chirped, playing off your near spill.

"Oh, so you do know my name?" He teased as he took off his uniform hat and found an empty seat at the counter.

You shrugged, slightly embarassed. "Yeah, your friends told me. Actually, I have a question. So, this isn't my first time in Las Almas–"

"Oh, I know." He nodded.

"Someone told you?"

"No, hermana. I remember you."

You took one, hard blink as your brain both short-circuited and reset. "You– you do?"

"The girl at the park. You played soccer with me and my siblings until your mother came and got you."

Your eyes twinkled at this revelation, and his heart fluttered like your lashes as you tried to process what he just said. "Well, shit– I mean, wow." You corrected yourself. During business hours you tried to keep profanity to a minimum, but it sometimes slipped through the cracks like when you were surprised. Like now.

"Small world, eh hermana?" He smirked.

"I'll say. How come you didn't say anything when you came in the shop last week?" You asked while wiping your perspiring palms on your apron.

"I wasn't sure if it was you. If you remember correctly, your mother called you Scout, so I thought that was your name."

You tried to ignore the mischievous look that grew on David's face with Alejandro's reply. "Oh, Scout's my nickname." You explained.

"I see. Which do you prefer I call you?"

"Doesn't matter. Whichever you think rolls off the tongue easier." You said truthfully.

"I think I'll alternate." He decided aloud.

"Sounds good to me. Was there anything I could get you?"

"Some of that blonde roast would be great."

"Y'know, I am so glad that that's become a hit."  You said before turning to scoop freshly ground beans and place in the espresso machine.

David decided to finally chime in. "Wanna know why her nickname is Scout?"

Your neck practically did a 180 from you turning around so fast. He ignored your threatening gaze and smiled innocently at Alejandro.

"Sure, though I don't think she'll be too happy about it." Alejandro said with an uneasy smile, though he himself was clearly amused.

David scoffed and waved a hand. "She doesn't scare me. When she was younger she was nosey as hell but was super sneaky about it, too. Always knew the family drama and who was getting what for Christmas. We'd send her to go find out what the adults were talking about privately at family reunions. One time she got sloppy and was caught, and that's when our grandpa called her a Scout."

You served Alejandro his coffee with a smile then shot daggers at David and he shrugged. "You brought a cat into our house, I'm getting my due payback for as long as that furball is sharing space with me."

Eva laughed then looked at her watch. "Ay, I should really get home and let my dogs out. Can I get a to-go box, Scout?"

You nodded and bent down to grab one for her while she kissed David goodbye.

"When can I see you again?" He asked her.

She thought for an honest second. "I'm free again tomorrow if you maybe want to go to the Zoo."

"The Zoo sounds great. Why don't you come with us, Scout?"

You made an uncertain face. "Oh I dunno, three's a crowd."

"So find a plus one. Hey, Alejandro is it? How would you like to come with the three of us to the Zoo?" David asked

"David!" You exclaimed in protest, then lowered your voice to a normal tone. "Don't thrust that upon Alejandro, I'm sure he's very busy."

"Actually, if it's a Sunday I should be able to." Alejandro remarked.

Your stomach twisted into a knot and your mouth fell dry. "Oh, then that works out then yes? So, tomorrow?"

"Sounds like a plan. Meet us here at noonish?" David said to Eva and Alejandro. They agreed and you smiled weakly.

Eva left and you grabbed David's apron off the wall and threw it in his face with all your strength. "Alright loverboy you've had your fun, now I need you in the kitchen."

David pulled the apron off his face. "You might want to be a lot nicer to me. Remember, I know all your embarrassing childhood stories."

You decided to ignore his empty threat and turned to your handsome company. "Did you want anything to eat, Alejandro?"

"I'm fine, though I would like some water."

"Of course."

You came back with a cup of ice and a pitcher of water, and as you poured him a glass you couldn't help but feel someone watching you. Raising your gaze past Alejandro's shoulder you saw someone on the sidewalk looking in on your establishment. They seemed to be staring directly at you, but you couldn't tell through their hat, sunglasses, and bandana covering the lower half of their face. Their clothes were dull and baggy, almost as if to purposefully not draw attention to themselves. You were overcome with a sense of dread, bile threatening in the back of your throat. That couldn't be good.

Alejandro grew worried as he saw your face pale. "Is everything alright?"

Your eyes met Alejandro's and time around you two froze. This was the first time you got a real, good look into Alejandro's eyes in years. They were reminiscent of the shade of brown your darkest roast comes in. And, like the dark roast, they were strong and invigorating. Some people thought the color brown to be undesirable, uneventful, but you saw brown for what it was. Brown denoted life. Tree trunks, soil, sun-kissed skin, fresh bread, frolicking deer. In his eyes, you felt calmer now.

He pulled you out of your trance and haven from your anxiety when he turned around to see what you had been looking at, and you finally realized you had been pouring water directly on your shoes.

"Ay!" You exclaimed in a hushed tone and set the pitcher down. Alejandro looked back at you with an expression you couldn't quite read. There was anger, you knew that much, but also fear? Worry?

"What's wrong?" You looked up but the person previously outside was gone.

"Nothing, I don't think. He said quietly, then thanked you for the water. If he wasn't worried, then maybe you shouldn't either. Maybe the person wanted to come in and buy something but was put off by the crowd of people.

Alejandro stayed well past his empty glass talking to you, getting to know you and your interests more. There were pauses in conversation when you had to take a customer's order or briefly fill in for David who technically didn't have to be helping you at all but did so for the activity, but then you two would pick up right where you left off. He asked you your favorite color, favorite animal, favorite food. Awfully juvenile questions, but what you hadn't realized was these were questions he'd been waiting almost two decades to ask you. The visiting girl from the park. Scout.

The sun was beginning to set and people started leaving the lobby. Alejandro was the last one to go, paying his bill and promising to see you tomorrow afternoon. Your heart beat fast at the notion of being around him outside of the coffee shop; In public, where everyone could see the new girl with Alejandro. It made you nervous, but that was drowned out by your excitement and desire to run upstairs and pick out a pretty outfit.

Locking the door after Alejandro and watching him until he was no longer in sight, you scooped up his receipt and started counting the day's earnings. Saturdays may have been your most successful days if it kept on like this. Young adults coming in for hangover food and staying for the comfortable furniture and dozens of books to choose from.

Alejandro's receipt was the last one you put away, but more writing than his handsome tip caught your eye and made you look it over again.

His number. Followed by another note.

Call me if there's ever a problem.

-A

Chewing your lip, you opened your contact list and immediately saved his number.

Next Chapter

[suzukiblu]

any thoughts on a/b/o AU for Encanto? Could be an interesting view of family focused a/b/o instead of the usual kinds!

I have a problem and that problem is being enabled.

SO!

Alma is pack leader, of course. She’s a beta, and so was Pedro. She’s also kinda the de facto leader of the TOWN, of course, which is less often a beta-ly position but no one is gonna be dumb enough to pick anyone NOT the magic lady who saved all their butts to run the place. Alma is not OFFICIALLY the leader of the town, mind, but when it comes to big decisions somebody definitely checks with her and if she Doesn’t Approve of something, that “something” tends to just . . . stop happening, pretty much. Many a potential mating was sunk by Alma being low-key dubious about the couple’s future prospects.

Julieta is also a very chill beta, but Pepa is a high-key cliche volatile alpha and Bruno is an equally cliche neurotic mess of an omega (YOU WILL PRY FEMALE ALPHAS AND MALE OMEGAS FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS, FANDOM, I WILL NEVER GIVE THEM UP). Agustin is another beta and Felix is an omega. They were not Alma’s FIRST choices for her children’s mates but she wasn’t actively dubious about them so said matings went through.

Bruno went through a brief period of Being Desirable in his youth, basically around when his peers were too stupid to think “seeing the immutable future probably actually kinda sucks, doesn’t it” as opposed to thinking an omega from a powerful family who knew when bad things were coming was a catch in a community that had been fairly recently traumatized and relocated by unexpected attacks. Then said peers finally figured out the “probably actually kinda sucks” thing and that ship sailed. Telling a girl her goldfish is gonna die puts a real damper on her flirting.

(Bruno, for the record, was INCREDIBLY relieved when everyone in town started leaving him alone with his rats. Initially, at least. Later on, a little less so.)

Isabela is an alpha, Luisa is an omega, and Mirabel is a beta; Dolores is an alpha, everyone has ceased being certain what Camilo is, and Antonio is too young to have presented yet. Usually I don’t do “not presented yet” as a thing but I’m feeling it for this one, idk. Possibly because it lets literally no one know wtf is going on with Camilo’s gender, including Camilo. 🤷‍♀️

The kids/sibs/cousins have extremely poorly defined pack dynamics, aside from “Isabela is perfect and we’re not allowed to mess with her”, which of course No One Likes, including Isabela. She would rather not be any kind of pack leader right now or possibly ever, actually, which is another reason she’d rather not mate Mariano, he who wants five pups.

As far as pack dynamics go otherwise, Luisa’s SUPPOSED to be Isabela’s second but in practice it’s usually Dolores, who everyone in town keeps assuming is gonna snap and challenge Isabela for dominance one of these days but really does not have that kind of personality, alpha or not. Dolores sometimes wishes she DID have that kind of personality, because if she were the dominant alpha out of the grandkids, well, maybe SHE’D be the one getting told to propose to gorgeous omega!Mariano. Luisa is just relieved that Dolores knows how to do the “being a second” thing, because she gets extremely stressed by it herself.

Meanwhile, Antonio is largely oblivious to gender at this age, Mirabel is the one beta grandkid and CONSTANTLY gets overlooked for it, which she haaaaates, and Camilo is whatever gender is going to cause the most possible problems at any given moment.

[foreveranevilregal]

Why would you do this to me now I'm sad how dare you separate those 2????I'm gonna cry now

Does Pepa find happiness in that time-line? I just want my girl to be happy maybe she moves and no one sees her for years and she finds some sort of freedom maybe in that time-line she is the Bruno of the family who disappears and no one talks about (because of her gift she wouldn't live in the walls so she would actually have to leave the encanto)

Aww, I'm sorry! If it makes you feel any better, it also made me very sad. It was the saddest angstiest thing I could think of!

Honestly, I wanted to think about this AU as little as possible since it was so heartbreaking, but you got me wondering. Seeing as her family doesn't really seem to pay attention to her here, due to antiquated gender roles and ideals she really has nothing to lose by leaving. She and Carlos split amicably and decide to stay friends. It wasn't really something that was done, but they had never been very keen on following rules. He genuinely does love her and want what's best for her, so he'd rather keep her as a friend than have her be miserable as his wife. To clarify, it might have seemed like he was trying to stifle her emotions, but he just didn't want her to be hurting. Which can be damaging in its own way, but it wasn't like Alma's harping about Pepa's clouds.

Newly single and tired of small town life, she runs away one night, following the river out of the mountains. Of course, this is the final straw for Alma, who then erases Pepa from the family ("we don't talk about Pepa!") Julieta's kids grow up hearing whispered rumors about their strange tía Pepa. For a long time, Julieta begged Bruno to see what would happen with Pepa and whether she'd come back, but gave up after he had too many conflicting visions. He told her that Pepa was going to choose her own path in life, and that it wasn't something he could see. They both felt like part of them was missing, their trio down to a duo.

Meanwhile, Pepa traveled, exploring Colombia and seeing what life was like outside the encanto. She was fascinated to learn about modern advancements and settled down in a city, loving the excitement of urban life. It was a nice change of pace from the sleepy encanto. But her favorite part was realizing that her gift had stopped working as soon as she left the mountains. Apparently it was only meant for the encanto after all. Free from the burden of constantly policing her emotions, she starts to heal and learns to express herself more openly. She has relationships, some short some long, but (cliche alert) the most important relationship she nurtures is her relationship with herself. After so many years of being criticized until she felt worthless, Pepa finally learned to value herself and prioritize her needs.

Eventually, she gets homesick and wants to see her family. She finds the mountain range where the encanto is nestled and takes a deep breath before climbing through the pass. The clouds rolling overhead take her by surprise; she'd been away so long that her gift was only a memory. But she'd worked on herself, so she didn't resort to her mantra of "clear skies". Sometimes she felt lousy. It was allowed. By the time she descended into the valley, the clouds had largely lifted. As she approached town, they came back with a vengeance. When she got to the town, kids pointed at her and whispered. Although she'd gotten stronger, she still couldn't deal with people talking about her, so she skirted the edge of town until she got to Casita.

It had grown in her absence. Obviously Julieta's kids must have their own rooms now. And Bruno's kids- did Bruno have kids? Did he end up marrying? She wasn't expecting to be welcomed back, but she could hope, couldn't she?

She waited until night had fallen, wanting to avoid any dramatic scenes. It was actually Bruno who first saw her. His face lit up and he ran up to hug his favorite sister (don't tell Julieta!). He knew she'd find her way back home. They ran to Julieta's room to share the good news with her, planning to tell everyone else at breakfast the next day. But their commotion woke up all the inhabitants in the house.

Alma looked like she'd seen a ghost. Heart sinking, Pepa began to back away, ready to leave, when her mother strode up to her and wrapped her up in a tight hug. Turns out, after hearing how much he missed his sister, Bruno's wife (so he was married!) had given Alma an earful. But it had been too late to find Pepa; no one had any idea where she'd gone. The rumor mill churned and Alma, too grief stricken to try to put an end to it, shut away that part of her in the same place she stored her love for Pedro. So much loss had befallen their family. She didn't think she would ever see her daughter again, but here she was, back after so many years.

So the reunion didn't exactly go as planned. All of the kids peered out from their bedrooms, unsure how to react. Isabela and Luisa were too young to remember their tía Pepa, and Mirabel (oh, she looked so much like Julieta! Pepa's heart grew full!) hadn't even been born yet. Two more little heads lined the other side of the hallway; they must be Bruno's (Pedro and Antonia, she later found out). There was much crying and celebrating. No one said a word about the torrential downpour she unleashed on them.

Gradually, she got acclimated to being back in the encanto. Her gift didn't act up as much anymore since she'd learned to harness her emotions. It took her some time before she was ready to go into town again, but finally Julieta convinced her that it would be good for her. On her way out the door, Julieta mentioned that Félix's wife had left him. Something about knowing his heart belonged to someone else. Having dropped that bombshell on her, Julieta gave her a knowing smile and wished her luck.

Pepa wandered around aimlessly for a while, taking in the encanto. Nothing had really changed while she was gone, and she was glad for the familiarity. Lost in her reverie, she heard someone call her name.

At the end of the street was Félix. His face lit up in the biggest smile she'd ever seen. The rainbow that hung over her head said everything.

So, it took them a while, but our lovebirds get together in the end! I can't bear to have them be apart forever.

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

thoughts on On A Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

Where do I even start?

I'm going to make a list, in no particular order, because there is no other possible way for me to even organize my thoughts on this book. (Spoiler alert if you'd like to read it in the future)

First thing's first... my friend lent me this book and expected me to live?? They expected it to not put a spear straight through my heart??

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Okay okay here's an actual bullet point: Let's start with the worldbuilding. I feel like that can be a more difficult thing to do in a graphic novel, as you can't go on rambling sentences about world backstory - but Tillie Walden fucking nailed it. She made it feel realistic; she wrote real high-school characters and made a boarding school in space feel like an Earth school. She made it feel outlandish; she dove us into a world of koi-like spaceships, floating building complexes, the far reaches of the galaxy, a world full of life and death where no one leaves and no one enters. It's so very unique and I truly think it's genius, and it still feels so human even though it's very futuristic

The way she writes queer people... there are no men in the book as far as I know, first of all, which leaves room for So Many Lesbians and such varied gender presentations among them... I am absolutely In Love. And the way she wrote Elliot, and their friends defending their identity and pronouns to Jo, and otherwise having a nonbinary character be such a casual aspect of the story - a nonbinary character with depth, mind you - means so much to me. (The way queerness is integrated into this book feels a lot like Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir but I'll talk about that another time perhaps)

More on Elliot. Having a nonverbal character made my heart feel so goddamn good, and again the fact that their friends adamantly defended them - I LOVE IT I FUCKING LOVE IT. Ell has my whole heart. They're a tech wizard, a badass fighter, and a loving friend, and again I finally have a nonbinary character with deep meaning to the story, which is incredibly rare (cough cough, I can't even think of a single other instance of that, actually).

Mia and Grace. Oh my god. This book made me cry. This book made me HOLD IN MY TEARS WHILE I SAT IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S LIVING ROOM. It had a romance that I could finally find meaning in from the perspective of someone with a difficult relationship with romance - Mia and Grace, and Alma and Char. In relation to Mia and Grace - their relationship made sense, and it was so WARM I cried and then they held on to each other in the school anti-gravity chamber or whatever that was and... AHHHHHHWHSEIWUWHSBNAQJQKQK

Grace leaving and Mia not getting to say goodbye holy SHIT there's the SPEAR there goes the spear through my heart

Alma and Char also felt like such a good portrayal of an adult relationship and I cannot explain why they made me feel so good but they did

Char is amazingly smart and cool-headed, and exactly the type of character I get emotionally attached to. (Which is also why I got attached to Grace.) When Char got suspended and had to leave the ship I was so sad Alexa play Despacito

All the characters on the Aktis had their strengths. Alma: natural leader, assertive, organized. Char: cool-headed under pressure, smart, compassionate. Jules: funny, light-hearted, cheerful, ability to connect with ancient Eldritch fox beings (lol). Ell: calm, intelligent, strategic, kind. Mia: quick learner, friendly, also compassionate, willing to help. This is the best found family I've ever fucking read, period. Especially once Grace got added to the bunch. They were all so different, and in depth, and their backstories connected and made sense and they all just clicked. I would die for them.

Can I talk about the worldbuilding again just for a moment? How empty (complimentary) it made me feel? How lost in space it left me? The majority of the graphic panels had black as the most space-filling color. I don't know how to describe this, but it gave the story itself almost a black background, and it added to the effect of... something that was nearly horror, or at least abject loneliness. Everything in the novel felt spacially far apart because everything was so far apart. It took months to travel from place to place. And the places themselves were mostly desolate - the old religious building in the beginning, and then The Staircase. It's my favorite type of worldbuilding: it hollows you out and leaves you yearning to see every corner of the world the author has created, knowing that if you were in the book itself, you could never even come close to seeing or understanding everything. It's my favorite type of scariness and it's exactly why I love Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth, and therefore this book as well.

And can I talk about the color scheme thing? How everything that was happening in the "present", with Alma and everyone on the ship, was colored mainly in purple / warm colors, and then all the boarding school flashback scenes were mainly blue / cool colors? And how they MIXED AT THE END WHEN THEY WENT TO FIND GRACE AND THEREFORE UNITED THE TWO TIMELINES???? THATS FUCKING GENIUS. there i talked about the color scheme thing

The Staircase... god that was so cool. Shit. It had a cowboy feel and yet there also an ANCIENT FOX within it (which also terrified me) and I just - yeah I will not shut the fuck up about the worldbuilding it is SO DAMN COOL

I'm tired and I think I could say more but I want to fall asleep now. One last thing: no i do not feel much romantic attraction yes this book makes me want a girlfriend

Okay that's all, I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who may happen to see this post, I swear it just changed my worldview a tiny bit in the span of 2 hours

Oh and here's a sample frame of art from it:

Yeah. Okay. Bye.

[gleeblaineislife]

My Blaine and Santana are step-siblings headcanon

How it came to be

Todd Anderson and Maribel Lopez are Blaine and Santana’s parents. Santana and Maribel lived with Alma Lopez until Santana was 7. When Blaine was 5, his parents got a divorce. He and his (half) brother Cooper were split living between Pamela Anderson and Todd. Todd and Maribel started dating shortly after the divorce and got married when Blaine was 7 (and Santana age 8). Maribel and Santana moved in with Todd a bit before they got married. Cooper mostly lived at Pam’s house and rarely visited Todd since he was about to move to California anyways. Blaine, on the other hand, was still staying with Todd one week and Pam the next. When Blaine was 10, Pam got a traveling job that made her much busier so Blaine started living only at Todd’s house and he visited Pamela every other weekend (as long as she wasn’t busy). 

Santana’s relationship with Todd and Maribel

Santana is very close with both Todd and Maribel. Todd warmed his way right to her heart when Maribel first introduced them. My exact headcanon (minus the only-child part) for Todd and Santana’s relationship is from this tumblr post by @thebitchtownexpress: 

“I know we never see Santana’s dad, and because of the lines she got in ‘At the Ballet’, a lot of people think that he sucks. I disagree- I actually think she has a  decent dad. In ‘Funk’ when Sue quits the Cheerios, Mr. Schue finds her crying in the hallway and you can hear her say ‘Daddy’ twice as if she wanted her dad. I think the likely scenario is that he was working a lot, and maybe wasn’t as affectionate as she would have liked him to be, and missed out on a lot of her life, but I imagine him as being funny and I also think he instilled a really hard work ethic in her (more on that later). Also, in 4x20 when Santana is talking about how Abuela signed her up for ballet classes because she was such a tomboy ‘and it really pissed my dad off’, I like to think that what she meant was that it pissed her dad off that Abuela signed her up for ballet because he liked her being a tomboy. She’s an only child and I think they bonded over sports and more traditionally masculine things.” 

Santana and Maribel are obviously very close and I believe they always have been ever since Maribel stopped having to work as much when she moved in with Todd (Santana was raised by Alma in Lima Heights and only close to Alma before they moved in since Maribel was a single mother that worked two jobs. Even though Todd, being a doctor and Maribel’s boyfriend, would’ve happily helped her out financially, Maribel would only accept so much.)

Blaine’s relationship with Todd and Maribel

Blaine was not close with Todd or Maribel. Todd and Blaine always have lacked a mutual understanding of each other. It started in Blaine’s early childhood since Todd couldn’t quite grasp the fact that just because Blaine had autism didn’t mean he was some sort of unattainable being. Todd never knew how to act around Blaine and as a result, they never got close. Todd and Blaine’s interactions did nothing but upset Blaine and cause more distance between them so Todd avoided being alone with Blaine. 

When Maribel came into the picture she tried building a relationship with Blaine. But Blaine wanted nothing to do with his father’s new significant other. He was still left with a lot of resentment from his parents getting a divorce. To compensate for their lack of a relationship with him, Todd and Maribel often let Blaine do whatever. 

When Blaine came out as transgender, they had no idea what to do. They didn’t feel enough like his parents to really do anything about it but accept him and set him up with a gender therapist. Even though they had a lot of conflicting thoughts and did not believe in being transgender (at first), the last thing they wanted was to push him any further away. They didn’t understand Blaine even more than before but they really did try. Blaine didn’t seem to want anything to do with them though. They listened and respected him as he announced his name as ‘Blaine’ and allowed the social transition to happen, and they threw money at him and let him start testosterone at 14. 

However, they did not offer any emotional support to him in that difficult time (or any of his difficult times like Sadie Hawkins where they didn’t know how to be there for him and threw money at him to board at Dalton. ‘Shooting Star’ was the one time Blaine had his father’s emotional support and Pamela was there leading the way there) and they didn’t protect Blaine from any of their family’s transphobia (but they did allow Blaine leave the house anytime family was around and he was never forced to go to family get-togethers. They sort of didn’t want him to go since their whole family disapproved of their decision to let him transition). 

When Todd asked Blaine to build a car with him, he only did it to get closer to him. He assumed ‘now’ that Blaine was a boy he wanted to do ‘masculine’ things and he bonded with Santana with things like that so he thought it would better their relationship. He wasn’t even aware of the fact that Blaine was gay since when Blaine mentioned it one day (before storming off to his room angrily over something his parents had said) his disunderstanding mind thought gay meant transgender. 

When he did find out Blaine was gay though, it left him way too confused to even try to understand Blaine anymore. He didn’t get how someone could be both gay and transgender. He avoided any alone time with Blaine like the plague and never discussed anything deeper than football or school with him, or it would end in a fight. Maribel was also very confused by Blaine and left all of the mothering up to his distant mother, Pamela. Maribel didn’t move past the 'dreadful step-mother' phase with Blaine until well after his teenage years. Blaine and Todd’s relationship is still chalked full of misunderstandings and miscommunication to this day. 

Blaine and Santana’s relationship 

Blaine and Santana have a very sibling-y relationship. As kids, they weren't very close since they only saw each other every other week and Blaine wanted nothing to do with her. Santana, who had previously been excited and nervous about getting a sibling, was sort of disappointed. At first she hated the thought of having a sibling until her mother warmed her up to the idea. She then figured having a sibling was like having a built-in best friend (which Santana never had before). 

Even though Blaine gave her the cold shoulder, Santana was told it was still her job to protect him. She and Blaine were both bullied, and Santana would scare away Blaine’s bullies at the end of the day when she went to find him to go home. She protected him as much as she could because she understood how much it sucked to be made fun of and she knew she needed to defend her little sibling (even if they weren't all-the-way siblings in her mind; at least not yet). Once Blaine started completely living in his father’s house, Santana and Blaine developed more of the average sibling relationship. 

They started bickering a lot (Blaine was the 'moody' one of the household, but he was also dealing with a lot of shit), they weren't afraid to give each other plenty of sass, and they annoyed the absolute fuck out of each other, but through all of that they did care for each other. When Blaine came out as transgender, Santana hugged him and made it her mission to never ever misgender him. It was the most support Blaine got through that time and he deeply appreciated it. They were always kind of an indirect support system to each other. They didn't tell each other a lot of personal stuff and when they hung out or bickered or anything it was a distraction from their problems. They had the ability to make the world seem a little less lonely for each other. With that, they also had the ability to genuinely get to each other and make a bad day worse or add on to the weight on each other's shoulders. It all depended on what they were feeling. 

At Mckinley, Blaine and Santana initially didn't tell anybody they were siblings to protect Santana’s reputation that she had done so much to build. Being a bowtie-wearing, gay theatre kid's sister wouldn’t really help it. After she finally came to a point with being comfortable with herself (after being cruelly outed), she and Blaine still didn't really tell anyone they were siblings. It wasn't necessarily a secret, like if someone would’ve ever asked one of them about it they would tell the truth, but it felt like a private family thing. Something that not everybody needed to know. 

Now, as adults, they are super close. After Blaine had to backtrack to Lima and re-find himself, he realized he needed/wanted to build a better relationship with family other than his mom (things with Cooper still didn't work out completely until later on). He and Santana naturally got closer when she returned to Lima for the rebuilding of the New Directions and Blaine actually made an effort to get closer to Maribel for the first time (where she passed the 'dreadful step-mother' phase). Now, as adults and still in the same friend group, they see each other regularly and are very, very close. They tell each other pretty much everything and are the best of friends. For their wedding (which Blaine being Santana’s brother was a huge part of her letting him+Kurt get married with her+Brittany), Todd couldn't make it due to urgent family matters in the Philippines. He would've loved to have made it and was devastated to have missed two of his children getting married.

[tommytranselo]

for the ask game uhm uhm all the even numbers >:3

god why are you like this

2. Who are your favorite characters and why? oh, god, so many.  in no particular order: vito–look, he’s gay, he’s sad, he’s afraid of becoming his father, he’s got All That going on with regards to maturity and masculinity and success (he’s trans your honor), i have no choice but to love him.  nicki for similar reasons–the devs really loved gays with daddy issues huh.  paulie since he’s so desperate for people to care about his ideas and feels like he’s never taken seriously (and he’s funny).  henry bc...i don’t know, honestly, he just did something to my brain.  lincoln bc he’s a) in general incredibly well written and b) strikes a good balance between being caring and ruthless when the time comes for it.  tommy bc he was a fun protagonist to play and gave me gender euphoria lmao, and he’s a good friend.  alma bc she’s cool as hell :)

4. Which character is scarily close to how you act? paulie, probably–i am also constantly rambling about ideas that might seem a bit of a stretch.  henry in the sense of going into things with no backup plan and without fully thinking them through.

6. What were your favorite songs from each Mafia game? i don’t know the names of a lot of songs in mafia DE, but “st. james infirmary” by cab calloway and “sing you sinners” by the high hatters for sure–and honestly, the main theme holds a special place in my heart.  from mafia 2, definitely “900 miles” by billy merman (god i’m so mad it’s not on spotify!), “got my mojo working” by muddy waters (one of my favorite songs of all time), and every little richard song on the soundtrack.  mafia 3 is nearly impossible to pick bc i’m a huge fan of 1960s music (and i knew probably at least half the songs already), but it did introduce me to “palisades park” by freddy cannon, which always has me sitting in my car waiting for the rest of it to finish.  “lil red riding hood” by sam sham and the pharoahs, “we gotta get out of the place” by the animals, and (basic though it is) “somebody to love” by jefferson airplane are among my other favorites.

8. Which character shares your sense of fashion? joe barbaro for sure, and thomas burke by extension (i am partial to blue jeans and boots).  tommy angelo but especially the cabbie outfit.

10. If you could give a hug to any character(s), who would they be? henry for sure i know the poor man needs it.  probably vito too.  and nicki <3 my best friend nicki burke from the computer screen

12. Which character(s) do you think you would get along with? paulie for sure, infodumping solidarity.  definitely nicki, almost certainly tommy as well (i feel like he’d be easy to get along with in general).  probably vito too–i vibe strongly with his character and he seems like a chill dude to hang out with.

14. If you could meet any character and just ask them anything you’ve always wanted to know, who would that character be? Along with the question(s) you would ask. hm...honestly–why’d you do it, sam?  was it really worth betraying your friends?  what did you think was gonna happen?

16. What was the funniest glitch you came across while playing/watching someone play Mafia? the progress bar broke the first time i did the burke recruitment mission so i ended up driving way worse than i needed to, and i tried to drive off a ledge thinking that’d get us somewhere...it was the side of a bridge and we fell in the river and died.  also anything that launches the cars cracks me tf up without fail.

18. You only get to slap one character from the whole Mafia trilogy. Who would that character be? (Only one! So choose wisely.) REMY DUVALL no explanation needed

20. Which characters would you like to see swap personalities or even roles? honestly i think this was your idea originally but mafia 2 role swap au with older, grizzled vito and joe as the mentors to young henry and luca.  also this doesn’t really count but that au where henry and luca work for the moretti family.

22. What character gets a lot of hate but you secretly like? Or not so secretly like and why? luca gurino.  he was a solid villain and the way he saw through vito’s naivety was interesting!  i wish they’d done more with him.

24. A scene that you can’t help but laugh at every single time. the cutscene where you escape leo’s house.  henry’s “fuckin’ shit!” and little bounce will never not be funny

26. A head-canon that you haven’t shared yet. i don’t think i’ve said this but vito definitely has tinnitus/hearing damage from the war.  no i am not projecting what are you talking about

28. Some things you dislike about Mafia and why? i haven’t played the original first game and afaik this wasn’t as much of an issue there, but everything else has felt kind of incomplete?  fuckall to do in mde free ride, short story with a lot of plot holes and no free ride at all in m2, grindy side missions and awkward camerawork with certain cutscenes in m3 (though honestly i think 3 had the most to do on the map).  the racism in mafia 2 is an issue as well (and not just in terms of how the characters act, but how the narrative itself treats it as a joke).  and a lot of the fanbase outside of tumblr–oh, lord, do not look at the comments on any mafia 3 trailer...

30. What is one thing you’d like to say to the Mafia fandom before the year comes to a close? idk why the fandom suddenly blew up this past week or so but it’s been extremely fun, y’all are so cool, and i’m so glad we’re all fixated on these old games together <3

[nerdygaymormon]

my friend (nb and lesbian) was asked to give a talk on a coming sunday about the “infuriating unfairness” talk by elder renlund. they really want to talk about queer topics and how they feel the unfairness in the church (esp. in their ward.) but they don’t want to out themselves to the ward (only their bishop and parents know, and they’re not supportive.) any tips? they know there’s LGBTQ+ kids in the ward that need to hear a talk like they want to give. they don’t want to misgender themselves on such a large scale, so they don’t want to play the yw who agrees wholeheartedly with church policy (because that’s what their ward wants to hear). i’m not sure how to help them, but i really want to. sorry if this is a lot.

I can see how this is tricky, to speak on a subject in a way that doesn't deny Church teachings but also points out some of the issues or problems faced by LGBTQ+ members in a way that fits the assigned topic.

I think in Sacrament Mtg the best way to do this is when we're giving examples that illustrate the principle, mix in some queer examples.

Here's an outline of how I might organize thoughts from the talk in a way that let's me include some queer examples. Maybe this will help your friend as they're organizing their thoughts.

1) Elder Renlund speaks about unfairness in life.

"Unfairness comes from living with bodies that are imperfect, injured, or diseased. Mortal life is inherently unfair. Some people are born in affluence; others are not. Some have loving parents; others do not. Some live many years; others, few. And on and on and on."

2) We aren't to add to people's burdens

"self-righteousness, fear, and anger have caused even Christians to hurl stones at people who stumble...Brothers and sisters, not throwing stones is the first step in treating others with compassion. The second step is to try to catch stones thrown by others."

3) Elder Renlund also said we should deal with the unfairness we find.

"As we develop faith in Jesus Christ, we should also strive to become like Him. We then approach others with compassion and try to alleviate unfairness where we find it;"

People who find they are in the minority for whatever reason, race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, disease and so on, they are often disadvantaged in the larger society because they are different, or the rules & norms in place exclude them.

Here is one example that Elder Renlund gives in a video on the Church website of how adding to another's burden is sinful. "Having same-sex attraction, those feelings are not a sinful. Anyone who bullies, belittles, derides someone who has those feelings is sinful. The Lord isn't pleased when we do that." (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2018-06-0030-renlund-suicide-and-same-sex-attraction?lang=eng&collectionId=d23b9883ff6926952d6746e97adcbe9d9d833714)

Our responsibility is not only to not add to their burdens, but to make them lighter.

4) “all that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”

He will console us and restore what was lost; He will use the unfairness for our benefit.

5) Alma 7:11-12 tells how Jesus did His part of the Atonement. These verses teach us that Jesus had a physical body and experienced pain, temptations and illness. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He took on our weaknesses, sins, mistakes and infirmities, all things He hadn’t experienced. This causes Him to feel mercy towards us and He knows how to nourish and strengthen us.

Think about what that means.

Blaire Ostler shared some thoughts about this. "In Gethsemane, Jesus experienced the pains of a person dying of cancer. He experienced what it is like to be a queer kid who is constantly bullied. He experienced the birthing pains of every mother who ever lived or would live. He experienced the embarrassment of a gay boy having an erection at the sight of his high school crush in the locker room. He experienced conversion therapy. He experienced rejection. He experienced the brutal physical and psychological attacks that trans women endure. He experienced the acid poured on a women's face for her defiance to the patriarchs. He experienced the fear, grief, and sorrow of every parent who has buried their child. He experienced sex slavery. He experienced his first period. He experienced menstruation...He experienced rape. He experienced catcalls. He experienced hunger. He experienced disease. He experienced an ectopic pregnancy. He experienced an abortion. He experienced a miscarriage and stillbirth. He experienced the Holocaust. He experienced war--both the killing and being killed. He experienced internment camps. He experienced depression, anxiety, and suicide. He experienced sleeping on the street with the homeless. He experienced the master's whip on his back and the noose around his neck. He knew the fear of every black mother who kissed her son before he left the house, praying he would return home safely. He experienced the effects of unrighteous dominion, corrupt politicians, and all manner of injustice. He experienced the migrant mother with no food or diapers for her baby as she desperately walked north in search of a better life. He experienced having his child taken away from him at the border due to 'legal complications.' He experienced it all--every death, every cut, every tear, every pain, every sorrow, every bit of suffering imaginable and beyond human imagination." (Queer Mormon Theology, page 38-39)

No wonder He bled from every pore upon experiencing that.

6) We can trust Christ to understand our situation and to be empathetic to what we're dealing with. Christ knows us and how to comfort us.

7) We will be judged by how we treat the vulnerable and disadvantaged.

The challenge for us is how are we going to help Christ in dealing with the “infuriating unfairness” we find in life?

King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon said, "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." (Mosiah 2:17)

Jesus said, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matt. 25:40.)

One thing that impresses me about our church is the huge effort it makes to feed people. Our Church owns fields, orchards and ranches. It grows food, cans the food, distributes it across the nation. People who need assistance can speak with the Elders Quorum or Relief Society President. This is an example of serving our fellow beings, of relieving or preventing suffering.

8) Conclusion, we can make the world better both in our individual efforts and in the policies we support when we vote, and with our Fast Offerings.

[notmanagingmymischief]

.... . .-.. .-.. --- / -- -.-- / -... . .-.. --- ...- . -.. / -... . -..- 💕

(i have no sweet or. interesting enough nicknames in my own language, so i hope you may accept some morse code for the time being ;u;)

(also. im gonna have to go to school today, so i need to finish some stuff, get some sleep and then get ready, which leaves me no time to talk rn. so i hope you dont mind me replying back a bit late ^^" if you actually decide to answer this lol)

so. as you were the main conduct to the string of thoughts that originated within my brain regarding miss peregrine (and as youre my only friend who actually knows this character), i am here to ramble about yet again my trans hc for her <3

im unable to stop thinking about how such a narrative would untangle itself around the concept presented firstly through a comment shes made on the movie in which "ymbrynes are all females", bringing up very interesting matters: what would alma feel when first discovering either her own identity or her powers as an ymbryne ?

because to a certain extent, both bring very intriguing questions and are on their own concepts to be already very well formed/constructed, as both lead to the same innevitable path (a gender crisis lol), and are able to be maintained stable and solid enough through most of what could be developed as a properly represented/depicted narrative (given the time period and other additional factors to discrimination in this very universe as well).

i literally cannot stop thinking over this concept, and to imagine a scene in which alma finally is able to put the pieces together and understand the sayings of which she has had engraved oh so deeply into her brain all the way through the process of her life and developing of the environment (and system) around her. that moment in which the out loud exclamation of that very much common "oh" when you finally understand everything that has ever happened before, and the many things that lead to your very own being at this moment.

the sense of frustration followed by the upsetment thats dawns inside of her for recognizing the patterns that she desperatly tried to ignore in a place where all used to put their absolute faith in, and believed to trust and call their home; the hardships of living inside a place where no matter how much you try to ignore, keeps on making that insufferable feeling of unpleasantness creep in.

but also. theres hope. hope that one day this would be over. that all she needed was freedom to actually do what she has been yearning for this whole time: time.

and the way in which, even if through such a tragic happening, she really does earn that. alma is finally able to come to terms with her current reality, mend the broken pieces of her once lost self, and to finally find solace and peace to work through such struggles - albeit in the most unlikely of places. the place that now houses the most peculiar and esquisite children, is lead by the most interesting of them all, seen by some as a derogatory title, but to many others as a honorary one. the woman who, from such a bitter and difficult past, managed to pull herself together and with such grace (well. we both know she is basically a mess on the inside, but just roll with the surface telling of a legend ppl tend to spread amongst themselves lmao) to stand in glory as a survivor not only of the very system they all ymbrynes partake in, but also the many other external forces that go agaisnt herself and her own children.

(this kinda contradicts with a theory of mine in which i definitely do include in a x reader type of scenario a nonbinary mc who actually pursues the same path or has the same kind of peculiarity as her. and by not being a woman much less a completely static gender, their introduction to alma would really set a very peculiar and interesting dynamic between not only both of them, but the children and how they view such an autority as alma - before and after meeting the mc, smth i wanna talk more about, but it would take ages to explain, so in a more general way, regarding status, roles, the projecting of young and impressionable/influenciable figures onto a greater person (aka an adult), the way in which role-models may not always know the truth about even such personal and deeply rooted things - be it on their own mind and body or into the very system they've lived in - but may also lie not only to others who they love and care about but themselves, and the capability of change and learning of new things within an environment that alma had tried to prove unable of such things)

(or well. that whole "clashing of realities" could also just be thrown away if we just end up to hc alma as nonbinary too lmao)

i didnt really think about the whole physical transition part, or the amount of information the children would have over this specific matter, but even given the fact that she might have transitioned rather early in order to actually be classified as a capable person to work and serve whatever is in charge of this whole loop thing (which ill be totally fucked if it ends up being just a huge community, with no actual system behind it. tho it does open the path to more carefree ways of developing her social transition which would be awesome too ngl), but to imagine her slowly coming to terms with her identity and grows as a person while already in the house with the children, letting them also aid and support her through such a process would be so wholesome and actually a really healthy development :") (tho again it would completely butcher the already estabilished relationship the children have with her, and her usual cold, stoic aand cynical personality towards them in a daily routine - as the last scenes from the movie are very extreme and could bring out emotions even from someone liek enoch lmao. and the way that she is represented as generally the type of person to keep certain things (most things, really) to herself and how she likes or is more comfortable in dealing with situations considered more personal and delicate on the company of no other person would definitely not enable for smth like this to happen)

but. uh. anyway !! i. hope you were able to understand at least a bit of these thoughts haha ^^" they have been inside my mind for quite some time, and i just think it would be. nice to share them with someone that seemed to like this concept of mine.

they are obviously not even close to being coherent or complete but ill surely go for more once im able to organize my thoughts better, in a more proper time or really any other time that isnt like. 3am (also, as im sure im gonna find more meaning behind her very perculiarity and alternate form - more specifically regarding birds and feathers, as well as search a bit more about the actual environment in which she lived in, if. thats even a thing. and also take note of some more ideas that may complement this story and concept in general haha)

sorry for any grammar errors btw i just really need some sleep rn lol

(also praying to nature this actually sends as a whole and not like. being cut in half or smth)

Bonsoir, mon cher Jupey. Comment allez vous?

Also...listen, I've been trying to figure out how to answer this with my own five mile long paragraph but I couldn't and so all I can say is honestly

Yes.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Away for a Moment

Here’s a smattering of feelings. It’s self indulgent af and sad. So yeah. No specific race or gender of reader. 

Calum didn’t think missing you would hurt this much. 

Find Part 2 Here

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You weren't gone gone. Calum could pick up the phone, tap on your last message to him and pull up your number. He could call. He could lay in bed with the phone pressed up to his ear and wait for your voice to float in through the other line. It would be easy, so damn easy. 

But he knows if he did you wouldn't be able to answer right away. It's barely evening. The sun has just started to caress the horizon through his windows. But you hadn't sent another message to let him know that you had gotten back to your apartment from training. Calum figures that maybe you spent a few extra hours out to get some work done and doesn't want to disturb you.

It's just not the same anymore without you. His bed isn't full like it used to be without you. His kitchen isn't full of music and dancing, and cooing at Duke like it used to be without you. And it's entirely selfish Calum knows the way his fingers ache to craddle your face and the way he wants to tell you to stay with him.

Staying with him would make him miss you less. Staying with him would ensure that the house never feels empty. But having you stay doesn't ensure your dreams. Staying with him means a very real possibility that all the opportunities that you had worked so hard to find would pass you by. Calum can't ask you to stay, but he wishes he had spent more time memorizing the way your shampoo smells fresh from a wash. He wishes he had recorded more of your breakfast concerts.

Still working hard or hardly working? Calum hits send on the text, sitting up on the bed. Everything in him wants you to come bursting back through that door. Everything in him wants to kiss your lips one more time and savor the taste of your fruity gum--a habit you picked up to replace the nervous nail biting.

Everything in him wants his goddamn phone to buzz. But it doesn't.

Calum pads into the music room and office. Duke's still on the couch and Calum's not sure when the old man wondered into the room or why Duke hadn't traveled away from the couch just yet. As he gets closer to the couch, Calum sees what Duke's curled up on--your sweatshirt from your alma mater. The one you couldn't find as you were unpacking boxes and sorting out your closet.

Calum reassured you that you had packed up most of your clothes and that it would turn up eventually. Attempting to move anywhere in a weekend always seemed better in theory, but when training got moved up--you had to get into high gear. Packed to the hilt in his SUV, Calum and you set out for a cross state trip. It was only a few states over. Only put you an hour ahead of him. He could pick you up or you could take the train or a plane for cheap back to LA.

He had already planned to visit you. He said it jokingly to you, but he had cleared his schedule for early October to come visit just for a weekend. He planned that for most of it, you'd be holed up studying or grading papers, but at least for a few hours in the small blimp in time the two of you could sight see and just get fucking lost for once without worry.

Calum snaps a picture of his old man curled up on your old sweatshirt and sends it. I found where that sweatshirt went. I think I'm going to have a hard time convincing him to let me ship it you.

Calum settles onto the rolling chair, staring at Duke and out the window beyond. How could he miss you so fast? It was only a week. Just a week ago he was rearranging sofas and building bookshelves and unfolding your clothes while you put them all on hangers. Just a week ago you were navigating him to the Wal-Mart, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Best Buy, Burger King, Chipotle, and Chilis laughing as you confused your right and left for the millionth time.

Just a week ago when you tapped on the wrong Wal-Mart because it was the first one that Maps showed you. Just a week ago the two of you were laughing, curled up under your new bedsheets. "You're gonna leave me for two years, and I can't believe it," he whispered. You had fallen asleep, the fan in the corner of your bedroom blowing a constant stream of cooler air onto the both of you.

And how could Calum say that he couldn’t believe you were leaving him when he left you all the fucking time? How much of a fucking hypocrite could he be to say that? 

He tried to reason with himself. Even though Calum left, he always knew he’d be coming back to you. He knew you’d always be there. And now, his home is across state lines. His house doesn’t feel like his house anymore because he had built a home in you and now you’re not here anymore. This physical building doesn’t really mean jack shit to him anymore with you. And sure it was only two years; it was only two years in total that you’d be away from him. And sure the degree was practically paid for, and sure, Calum couldn’t keep you from chasing your dreams. 

But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss you while you were out there soaring. 

Was this how his mum felt when he left at sixteen? Did she have a strange bubbling mixture of sadness and pride? Because that’s surely what’s brewing in the pit of Calum’s stomach. That mixture is what makes his fingertips ache. 

There’s still no new message from you. Calum drops his phone to the desk with a clatter, burying his face into the palms of his hands. “God, I should’ve moved with them,” he mutters into the open air. 

The two of you had this conversation a thousand times over. You didn’t want him to move because what would the other guys to music wise while Calum was with you? And what about Duke? And would Calum sell his house or keep it while renting something else for those two years? Your life was a little easier to uproot, since you knew you’d be coming back. This is just a step into the world that you wanted and you didn’t know where it was going to take you from there, but Calum couldn’t be his life on pause.

It’s like bile in his throat. The way the tears are stinging his eyes and his throat starts to burn. The tears are silent. Just the upturn of his lips and the sting of hot and salty water down his cheeks. The amount of things that can change a week are unbelievable and Calum’s not sure how he’s going to make it another eleven months and three weeks. 

His shoulders shake. The heels of his palms don’t do a damn thing to hold back the tears. You’re not gone. He can pick up his phone, tap onto the last message he sent you and pull up your number. He can call. He can sit in this office chair with the phone pressed to his ear and wait for your voice to float in through the other line. 

Calum’s phone finally shakes, it buzzes for a long interval, stops, and then starts again. He’s quick to wipe his hands onto his sweatpants and flip over the device. He taps to answer the call and his phone chimes, the video of you bouncing down a sidewalk fills the screen. “Hey, Cal. Sorry, I hung back to chat with some other student teachers. I think I could shit a brick right now. But I hear a certain old man’s hogging my favorite sweatshirt.”

Calum sniffles, wiping underneath his nose with the back of his hand. “Yeah, that would be Baby Grandpa snuggling up with it.” He’s relieved to see you, to hear the chirp in your voice when previously you cried into your dinner just a week before moving because of the nerves and anxiety. 

Calum’s praying his voice isn’t too croaky, that it doesn’t give him away. But he knows it well. And when your pinched brows and concerned flooded eyes land onto the screen, Calum knows you know. 

“Babe, you alright? Looks like you’ve been crying?”

“I’m-yeah, no, I’m okay. I’m happy to see you.” If he can change the subject he doesn’t have to explain why he keeps sniffling. He doesn’t have to explain why his eyes are no doubt red. 

“Angel, please don’t do that. Tell me what’s wrong.” The white cord of your headphones bounce and he can hears your harsh exhales. And it only reminds him that you’re not here. 

“I miss you.” It’s just one sentence; it’s only three words. But it makes his chest feel like it’s been punched in. It feels like someone’s pulling his spine out through his diaphragm. 

You pause, taking in his red eyes and the wobble of his chin. And you know. You know he didn’t want to admit it, but there was no way to hold it in anymore. “I’m sorry, Calum. I miss you too. I miss Duke. I miss you grumbling that I’m too happy at seven in the morning.”

Calum exhales a little, a small bit of laughter following after it. “Breakfast sucks with you. And I know this is what you have to do for yourself. I can’t stress how proud I am of you for doing this. But fuck, I didn’t realize it’d be this hard.”

People pass you by. Calum can hear them, the muffled parts of their conversation coming through your mic. You are so far away and it’s killing him. Two years. Two years of the two of you building up a relationship in tiny corners and through handwritten letters and stolen kisses and in text messages. Two years and you had cracked the defenses Calum had and he didn’t want to let you go. 

“I’m coming back, my love. There’s weekend trips and school breaks.” 

You get it though. There was a year where Calum was just gone. He was bouncing between time zones and when he did come back home he was prepping for the next leg of a tour, the next leg of promotion, the next part of something. And it’s so hard to create a new routine initially. It’s hard to regulate who you are on your own. 

“I feel like a hypocrite. Because I left. I don’t know. I feel untethered.”

You nod. “I understand that. It’s an adjustment, a huge one. It’s okay to feel a little unraveled.”

“And I don’t want to add onto your stress. I know it’s not easy.” 

“I’m here for you. You know that. Who’s answered your calls at 2 am before?” Calum doesn’t respond. Can’t as another wave of emotion rocks his core and he rolls his lips over his teeth to swallow back down the emotion. “And who do you think is going to be there to answer your call again at 2 in the morning? Or 3? Or 6 in the morning? At noon? At 6:37 in the evening? It’s gonna be me no matter what.”

Calum reclines his head into the cushion of the seat. It’s always been you. You’ve always been there when he needed it. And even if you are miles away, you still responded. You still called back. 

“Thanks,” Calum says. His chin still wobbles. He blinks back the rest of the tears. “So tell me about it. What did you do today? We can talk after you have some food.”

The world continues on about you. More people pass you by and you watch Calum. His eyes are still painted red. But his voice doesn’t break like before. It’s a bit of a breeze so you settle onto the bench for the bus even though you can hear it coming down the street. A strong breeze creates static in your mic for a moment before your voice comes in clearer. 

“We went over one of the assignments in depth that we have to teach. Met some other student teachers. I talked to my faculty mentor about my course schedule and work schedule and they said that I probably should let myself go easy this first semester.”

“So you did drop a class?”

You nod at Calum’s question. The bus rolls to a stop in front of you, but you don’t look up from your phone. “I did. I was scared to because I really wanted to take that class. But I heard it’s also offered in the spring, so I enrolled for it then.”

“Is it with a different professor? Or the same one?”

“Different one.”

The conversation flows until your bus comes back around again and you know you have to take it this time. But you keep Calum on the line. And he’s just watching, with his elbows on the desk and his head supported by his palms, he watches you. And it’s nothing glamorous as the bus rattles and shakes. Your phone lays in your lap, cradled in your hands. Occasionally, you glance down to cross your eyes and stick out your tongue at him and he hums his laughter. 

It’s the little things. Like watching the way your head reclines into the window or how you just know when to pull for your stop. And as you walk down blocks and stop to wave at a dog as the owner jogs past. And Calum knows he’s not there with you. He knows that you’re not walking up to his door, but maybe all he needs are the little things with you. 

“What’s for dinner?” he asks as you step into your apartment. 

“Literally it might be hotdogs because I’m mentally exhausted.”

“You need a veggie too.”

You laugh, keys hitting the counter. “I won’t forget a veggie. I’ll call you back in a bit, yeah? After I eat and get some homework done.”

“Okay. Can that be a daily thing? Just so I know you get back home safely.” It’s soft as he asks, unsure if it makes hims sound overbearing or not. 

“Sure. Once I get my schedule set, I’ll let you know and we can do that. Make sure to send me more pics of Duke though, since know he owns my sweatshirt now.”

Calum stares down at the black screen. You’ve long hung up, no doubts scarfing down the hotdogs you mentioned. And while the ache has subsided, Calum still feels you in every inch of him. He feels the yearning. The sun’s slipped behind the horizon, the last feathers of light won’t last long. And before Calum’s thinking his fingers are slipping over the frets. He bent over the bass, thinking maybe, just maybe the notes will make sense of the feelings in his gut. 

Your phone chimes, pushing rubrics and sticky notes to the side, you pick it up. A notification from instagram, from Calum. The video’s completely dark and it’s just him bent over the instrument as its throaty cries swell. Post you blues, it reads. The caption is tiny, almost missable if you’re not careful. But you see it. If you had any other choice, you wouldn’t have left. If it wasn’t your dream, you wouldn’t have left. 

I love you. Even across miles and interstates and timezones, I love you. 

Calum wants to tattoo the text message to his eyelids, so when he goes to sleep at night or when he closes his eyes to keep form crying, he can see that you’re not gone, just away from a moment. 

______

@5-secondsofcolor bc my Sunshine asked me to tag her so she could read it after shleeps. 

[wittyvitale]

Names (A Trepha-Focused Castlevania Drabble)

Summary:  Sypha is expecting her first child and has a conversation with Trevor about possible names.

Author’s Note/Warning:  So in addition to some fluff, there's also mild discussion about sex/penis spells and some graphic violent imagery consistent with the series. I also included some of my OC Belmont and Belnades ancestors. Enjoy!

Sypha, who was 7 months pregnant, curled up on Trevor’s lap and rested her head in the crook of his neck.

“We still need to talk about names, Trevor,” Sypha started. “I know you want to name our child after one of your Belmont ancestors. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Trevor looked up and hummed in thought. “Yeah, I have been thinking about that. If it’s a boy, I’d like to go with Christopher, after my great uncle.”

Sypha frowned. “Wasn’t your Uncle Christopher the one who had trouble getting an erection and constantly needed to use the penis spell book?”

“No no, that was my Uncle Frederick. He was kind of an asshole. Never stopped talking about his bloody limp dick, really pissed off my Aunt Marie. No, Uncle Christopher was the one who single-handedly defeated 3 water dragons and barely got a scratch. A true Belmont warrior.”

“Well in that case, I like the name Christopher. How about for a girl?”

“Sonia. Definitely Sonia,” Trevor said with no doubt in his voice whatsoever. “After my Grandmother, who we all called Nana Sonia.”

Sypha smiled. “Sounds like Nana Sonia was very special to you, Trevor. I would like to hear more about her.”

“She was special, all right. One of the toughest women I ever met in my life. Hell of a monster hunter. She took me out on one of my first hunts when I was about 10. We were ambushed by a fire drake, and since I was still new to the hunts, it took me off guard. He knocked the short sword out of my hand and slammed me against a tree. I remember going in and out of consciousness and seeing the fire drake towering over me. I really thought I was done for. But here comes Nana Sonia, and do you know what she did?”

“What, what did she do?” Sypha asked, completely invested in the story.

“Nana Sonia took out her short sword and sliced the fire drake’s dick off. Just cut it clean off like the way you chop a carrot. And that wasn’t all. Nana Sonia took that severed dick and shoved it right into the fire drake’s throat. He screamed for a long time, tried to breath more fire, but the dick was lodged in too deep. Eventually he choked on his own dick and died. And that was when Nana Sonia became my favorite family member. That was also the day I learned that I should never fuck with Nana Sonia.”

Sypha’s mouth hung wide open in amazement. “My god, what a story! She sounds like quite a woman. Were all of the women in the Belmont family that skilled with weapons and combat?”

Trevor nodded. “Even if the Belmont women decided that monster hunting wasn’t what they wanted to dedicate their lives to, they were all trained on how to use the whip and the sword. That’s Belmont tradition, regardless of gender. The Belmonts never believed in that whole “traditional gender roles” bullshit the church put out. Our women were just as strong as the men, if not stronger. I mean, Nana Sonia could cut off your dick for Christ’s sake.”

“The Speakers feel much the same way about gender,” Sypha started. “The church believes that women are inferior to men and therefore must be subservient to men. Speakers believe that all genders are equal. We even have a few in our ranks who don’t use a gender at all.”

“Speaking of, are there any names you have your heart set on, Sypha?” Trevor asked. “We’ve only been taking about the Belmonts. How about the Belnades clan? You said sometime ago that you wanted to raise at least one Speaker magician.”

Sypha looked up thoughtfully. “When Speaker Magicians marry outside of their tribes and reproduce, there’s only a 30% chance that the child will possess any magic power. The mother can feel the magic in the womb as early as 3 months. This child I’m carrying now… I don’t feel any magic power. This child is more Belmont than Belnades. It doesn’t mean we’ll never have a child with magic power, but that is not the destiny of this little one.”

Trevor hummed thoughtfully. “We’ll have a little Belnades eventually. It may take a few tries, but I’m up for it if you are.” He said the last sentence with a grin. Sypha grinned back.

“Well of course! We’re definitely having more than one child, and one of them will be a Speaker Magician, I know it already!”

“So what names are you thinking of for our little Speaker Magician?”

Sypha shifted her body so she could lay on Trevor’s lap. “I’d probably name our child after my parents. My parents had beautiful, lyrical names. Alma for a girl and Lorenzo for a boy. I could also name a boy after my grandfather, Mateo. Our Belnades baby would be an amazing magician just like their mama. And they will practice their magic by setting their papa’s hair on fire while he sleeps.”

Trevor gave a low chuckle and began gently stroking his wife’s swollen belly. “Honestly, I’ve been woken up in worse ways.”

Sypha reached up to comb her fingers through Trevor’s hair with a yawn.

“But no matter what the baby’s gender is or what they grow up to be, I know they’re going to be amazing.” Sypha said in a contented purr.

“Because they’re ours?” asked Trevor.

Sypha closed her eyes and continued smiling. “Because they’re ours.”

[casuallyimagining]

Percy Jackson x Gender neutral reader College AU? Maybe it’s them meeting at orientation or they could be roommates and have a couple classes together. I’m an incoming college freshman and I just really love wholesome college AUs. I don’t have a specific preference for whether it’s a headcanon or imagine, it’s up to you🥰

Hi anon! College AUs are my favorite. And actually, I work in higher ed (and next week is orientation I’m fine everything is fine no one’s panicking what are you talking about??? hahahah please send in more requests y’all I’m so stressed it hurts), so this is like.... very relevant to my life. 

Also, let’s pretend that the college in New Rome doesn’t exist, okay? Okay.

Also x2, the only college experience I have is from my ultra-small alma mater where I also currently work, so apologies if the experiences in this aren’t like... super universal (although it’s fiction, so 🤷🏻‍♀️)

You first noticed him when you were moving into your dorm. His room was at the beginning of the hall near the stairs--you had to pass it to get to your own. You couldn’t help but peek in while he and his mom were carrying in some boxes. It was very blue. 

You saw him again at the orientation activities your RA basically forced you to attend. Because you lived in the same hallway, he was in your group. It was a video presentation, though, and then a tour of campus, and because of the nature of the auditorium and how you were standing, you ended up on opposite sides of the row.

The boy was cute, sure, and that was certainly a plus. But also he looked friendly and just slightly more lost than you felt. You had always been good at making friends, so you thought that at the very least, he could be a fun acquaintance until you made more friends in your classes.

When he shows up in your first class that Monday, you can’t help but think someone is pranking you. It wouldn’t be a very good prank, but you had seen him literally everywhere all weekend. As he entered the room, he was looking around, trying to figure out where he wanted to sit. He saw you sitting about halfway back the far left row, he headed straight toward you. Unfortunately, the professor started class before you could say anything to him. And when class was over, he was up and out the door before you had a chance to react.

Your jaw almost hits the floor when you walk into your second class that morning and he’s sitting in the back of the lecture hall by the windows. You catch his eye as you make your way across the row of seats and he laughs. You sit in the seat beside him. “I’m beginning to think someone has a sense of humor,” he says, introducing himself. 

After class, you head to the dining hall together. You compare schedules while you eat. You weren’t the same major (he’s undeclared right now,) and you didn’t have any more classes together that day, but in addition to the two gen eds you had together on Monday/Wednesday/Fridays, you somehow managed to also have Greek Mythology together on Tuesday/Thursdays and astronomy together on Wednesday nights. 

Through sheer proximity, you and Percy become very close very quickly. He’s your dedicated study buddy. You eat all your meals together. And you spend quite a bit of free time on the weekends in his dorm when his roommate goes home. By fall break, you’re confident in calling Percy your best friend.

Percy doesn’t go home often, but when he does, he always invites you along. You’re happy to go when you can, mostly because Sally is an amazing cook and she always sends you both home with plenty of leftovers. But also because his baby sister is adorable. And not at all because you just really like spending time with Percy. Not at all.

This is getting a little long, so I think I’m going to stop here. I would love to write more of these if you’re interested. Like I said, I love college aus. Feel free to request more with other characters (Nico would be fun, amirite?) or a continuation of this one. I’d be more than happy to oblige.

[wutbju]

Prominent Christian evangelicals prayed for her destruction, while others say Virginia Ramey Mollenkott saved their lives.

Raised in an evangelical household that disavowed her lesbianism, Dr. Mollenkott became a scholar of the Bible whose books on feminist and gay spirituality offered an expansive, inclusive theology that embraced not just women as equals to men but gay, bisexual and transgender people, too.

She pointed out that Adam, for instance, was male and female before he got lonely. She noted biblical passages that argued for the eradication of all sorts of categories like race, class and gender. And she wrote about how gay people could use the experience of oppression to find compassion and empathy for those who might be hostile toward them.

Dr. Mollenkott often said that she had been radicalized by the Bible. Yet she remained an evangelical.

“Although many right-wing Christians despise what I have done with the keys they put into my hand,” she wrote in an essay  in 2004, “the fact is that the same Bible that deeply oppressed me has also been the most vital element in setting me free.”

Dr. Mollenkott died on Sept. 25 at her home in Pompton Plains, N.J. She was 88. Debra Morrison, a longtime friend and former partner, said the cause was respiratory failure and pneumonia.

Dr. Mollenkott had already made a name for herself in evangelical circles in the 1970s as the author of five books about feminist theology when her sixth, “Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? Another Christian View,” appeared in 1978. It quickly changed the conversation around gay people and evangelicals and helped usher in a new era of gay spirituality.

The book, which she wrote with Letha Dawson Scanzoni, a feminist author of religion and social issues, patiently works through the myriad ways that, the authors found, the Bible does not support the conservative Christian credo that homosexuality is a sin. It also examines the trauma that gay Christians and those who love them have endured because of those teachings.

The book’s arguments — theological, exegetical and ethical — were not original to the authors, but they were eloquently and compassionately articulated and “woven together into a uniquely compelling whole,” William M. Stell, an ordained minister and a Princeton doctoral student whose research focuses on evangelical gay activism in the 1970s and ’80s, said in an email.

The book’s publisher at HarperCollins, Clayton Carlson, declared the book “a counter-market publication” — publishing lingo for a book that won’t sell very well — but said he was proud to be publishing it anyway.

“If one Christian gay person, because of this book, experiences a new sense of self-respect and self-acceptance, a sense of his or her acceptability in the eyes of God, then the book will have been worth publishing,” he said in introducing the book at a symposium in San Francisco, just a few months after the city had passed an ordinance banning discrimination against gay people.

Over the years, Dr. Mollenkott and Ms. Scanzoni heard from many gay Christians who said “Is the Homosexual My Neighbor?” had saved them from suicide; they also heard from evangelicals who felt that the book was heretical and that the authors were not real Christians.

The Year’s ObituariesRemembering Ruth Bader Ginsburg, John Lewis, Kobe Bryant, Chadwick Boseman, Kirk Douglas, Little Richard, Mary Higgins Clark and many others who died this year.

In a letter written in 1989, Bob Jones III, who was then president of Bob Jones University, Dr. Mollenkott’s alma mater, said he was ashamed that she had attended the school and taught there. He described her as a devil for “writing favorably about lesbianism” and said that he believed “it would not be unfit to pray for her destruction.”

The authors had set out to write a book on Christian ethics and social issues. But that changed when Dr. Mollenkott, who was not out publicly, told Ms. Scanzoni that she was a lesbian. As they described the moment in the introduction to the book’s reissue in 1994, Ms. Scanzoni was shocked. She had never met a gay person before, though she had written theoretically about homosexuality. In a painful exchange of letters, the women realized that they would have a very different book on their hands.

In one letter, Dr. Mollenkott wrote, “it was a terrible thing to be a person who has news to tell that can drain the blood out of a good friend’s face.”

Virginia May Ramey was born on Jan. 28, 1932, in Philadelphia, to Frank and May (Lotz) Ramey. Her mother was a butcher and a grocery store owner.; her father was a chiropractor. The family belonged to the Plymouth Brethren, a fundamentalist ministry that met in a storefront. Her father left the family when Virginia was 9.

When she was 11, Virginia fell in love with a 21-year-old woman, and when her mother discovered the relationship, she sent her daughter to a Christian boarding school near Orlando, Fla. There the administrators chastised her for her lesbianism, using the Bible to “clobber her,” as Dr. Mollenkott often said. At 13 she tried to drown herself.

At Bob Jones University, a professor told her to “cure” herself of her homosexuality by marrying a man. Dutifully, she married a fellow student, Fred Mollenkott. After receiving a bachelor’s degree in English, she stayed on to teach English at Bob Jones while her husband completed his undergraduate studies.

Dr. Mollenkott earned a master’s degree in English at Temple University and her Ph.D. at New York University. Her dissertation was on John Milton, the 17th-century English poet who wrote “Paradise Lost,” and her deep dive into his work liberated her thinking about the Bible. She began to read it more critically, as a literary as well as sacred text. In studying Milton’s writings about love and marriage, and about divorce over incompatibility, she found the resolve to divorce Mr. Mollenkott in 1973.

Dr. Mollenkott was a professor of English at Temple and chaired English departments at Shelton College, in Ringwood, N.J., and Nyack College, in Nyack, N.Y., before joining the faculty at William Paterson University in Wayne, N.J. She taught there for three decades, retiring in 1997 as an emerita professor of English.

She married her partner of 17 years, J. Suzannah Tilton, in 2013, after the United States Supreme Court overturned a law that denied federal benefits to same-sex couples. Ms. Tilton died in 2018.

Dr. Mollenkott is survived by her son, Paul, and three granddaughters.

She was the author of 13 books — all written in longhand on a yellow legal pad — on social justice and feminist theology as well as on gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues. She also lectured and led retreats.

Dr. Mollenkott grew accustomed to hate mail and death threats, Ms. Morrison said, but would often say, “There are some things worth dying for.”

In 1999, Dr. Mollenkott received a lifetime achievement award from Sage, a nonprofit group that supports older L.G.B.T.Q. people, for “challenging homophobia in Christian institutions.” In 2001, she received a Lambda Literary Award for “best book in the transgender category,” for “Omnigender: A Trans-Religious Approach,” which explored nonbinary experiences in Christian and other religious traditions in early biblical texts.

She envisioned a society in which people could be free to define their own identities, saying in an interview published in 2018 that she considered herself “bi-gender, inwardly identifying myself with males as well as females.”

In the interview, with David Weekley, a transgender minister with the United Methodist Church, she discussed crimes against transgender people and how scholars might do their part by writing about intersectional oppression and its psychological underpinnings.

“Ultimately there is no solution except to learn healthy self-acceptance and mutual support with those who are unlike — or perhaps too similar — to ourselves,” Dr. Mollenkott said, adding, “John Keats said that ‘sympathetic imagination’ — the ability to imagine what someone else is feeling — is the basis for all morality, and I agree.”