#when i remember how to write it's over for you hoes 😭

[here2bbtstrash]

so do we...... literally all have horrendous writer's block rn

[h4m1lt0ns]

HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.

episode ten :: MADNESS, BADNESS.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴lewis hamilton x y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔lewis + y/n = combination

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ excessive cussing, none.

☆ IMESSAGE with : LEW <3

y/n: lew are u awake

lew <3: yeah i’m up

y/n: wait did i wake u up

lew <3: no no dw i couldn’t sleep

lew <3: why are you up tho doll?

lew <3: it’s almost two in the morning

y/n: i couldn’t sleep either <3

y/n: remember the demo lyrics i showed you like three days ago??

lew <3: the one you began writing on the boat?

y/n: yeahhhh that one

lew <3: yeah ofc

y/n: can u help me finish it?

y/n: if you’re not busy ofc

lew <3: never too busy for you doll

lew <3: plus i’m not really doing anything rn

y/n:

lew <3: you and those memes lmfao

lew <3: how can i help you doll

y/n: oh

y/n: i was actually hoping you’d come over

y/n: i’m just chilling in my home studio

lew <3: studio you said???

lew <3: you don’t even have to ask twice

lew <3: putting on my shoes

y/n: omg oh my god okay omg

y/n: y/n x xnda????

lew <3: whewwwwwww 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

lew <3: let me cook alright

y/n: get in there lewis

lew <3: omw !!!

y/n: pls bring roscoe

lew <3: dw i will

lew <3: i said your name once and he immediately woke up

y/n: 😭😭

y/n: i miss him sm

lew <3: on our way doll :)))

y/n

♡ liked by lewishamilton, yukitsunoda0511 and 7,204,108 others.

y/n it’s just me and you

tagged: roscoelovescoco, lewishamitlon

592,495 comments.

username Y/N’S IN THE STUDIO ALERT 🚨

username BITCH IS THAT ROSCOE???!?!?????!?!?

→ username IT IS SHE TAGGED THE ACCOUNT

→ username ROSCOE MUSICAL DEBUT???

→ username producer tag is woof woof

username y/n???? and lewis??? in the studio???? i’m excited????

username YESSSS NEW MUSIC SOON PLS 🔥🔥🔥

username LET HER COOK LET HER COOK 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

username YES GOD PLS

username Y/N AND XNDA????

→ roscoelovescoco y/ns ands roscoe

→ username HOE YOU AINT SLICK

→ username LEWIS DROP THE SONG IMMEDIATELY

→ username OKAY SO THIS JUST CONFIRMED IT

→ username WORLDS COLLIDING????

→ username IM SOOOOOO NORMAL ABT THIS

username LEWIS AND Y/N IN THE STUDIO????

→ username i personally, am frothing at the mouth.

→ username real

carlossainz55 babysitting duty?

→ y/n third wheeling duty actually

→ lewishamilton i was the third wheel 🙋🏾

→ username OHMYGODOHMYGOD

→ username Y/N X XNDA WHEN

[liked by lewishamilton]

username OMFGGGGGGG

roscoelovescoco i’s missed yous y/ns 🐾

→ username i once again say, hoe you ain’t slick 🤨

username there’s so much going on i don’t know where to look.

username LEWIS WAS THEREEEEEEE

username BRO IM BOUT TO EXPLODE

y/l/nestate glad you’re in the studio but please get some sleep 🎀

jensonbutton another banger album coming?

→ y/n maybe 🤭

→ username HUHHHHHH

username FATHER JENSON

→ username ANOTHER ALBUM????

→ username MA’AM YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AND DIP

→ username Y/N COME BACK 🔪

→ username AYEEEEYOOOOOO

→ username SCREAMINGGGG

→ username BWOAHHHHHH

→ username Y/N I SWEARRRRRR

☆ IMESSAGE with : BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

princess george: so y/n

y/n: jesus christ

princess george: wrong

honey badger: lmfao

y/n: oh this feels like a threat

yukino: it is 🔪🔪🔪

PIERRE GASLYYYY: ^^^

y/n: OH???????

princess george: you and lewis huh 😏

y/n: don’t ever use that emoji ever again omfg

my baby lando: look at her trying to dodge the topic

babygirl alex: no bc literally

chili!: what were you doing in the studio w a boy in the middle of the night young lady 🤨

y/n: papa????

chal eclair: answer the question bae ❤️🔪

wifey lily: yet another man trying to steal my wife i see

angel carmen: no bc has he no self respect? frolicking with a married woman?

girlfriend kika: my wife specifically??

y/n: oh my god 🤭 babe i’m blushing

alabono: bro answer the question

y/n: 🙄🙄🙄🙄

y/n: he helped me with a demo i’m working on

y/n: we wrote a song together is all

yukino: a part of me wants to believe you but the other says you’re hiding shit 🧐

y/n: omfg yuki how dare you

chal eclair: oh so you just hung out?

y/n: yeah man

PIERRE GASLYYYY: “yeah man” right.

PIERRE GASLYYYY: you liar

PIERRE GASLYYYY: roscoe was still at your house this morning when kika facetimed you so lewis is also probably still there

yukino: SO YOU ARE HIDING SHIT???

y/n: wAIT

babygirl alex: LIARRRRRRRR

angel carmen: HOW COULD YOU

y/n: HOLD AWNNNNNN

honey badger: CAN WE EVEN TRUST YOU MATE

chili!: ^^^^^^^

y/n: OKAY

y/n: LISTEN

my baby lando: 👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼

y/n: roscoe is at my house bc i’m babysitting him today, lew is busy and i’m keeping an eye on him while in the studio

chal eclair: LEW?????

chal eclair: HE HAS A NICKNAME NOW??

chal eclair: I WAITED TWO YEARS TO GET A NICKNAME AND HE GETS ONE EASILY?

chal eclair: THE BEST I GET OUT OF YOU IS SHAL LEGLEG AND HE GETS A CUTE “LEW”?

chal eclair: no.

chal eclair: tell him to pull up

babygirl alex: relax u can’t hurt a fly even if you wanted

yukino: it’s okay charles i’ll hurt him for you

y/n: neither of you is hurting anyone

my baby lando: i smell a potential father figure

y/n: omg shut up

honey badger: she says as she giggles and kicks her feet

y/n: STOPPP

wifey lily: OH SO YOU ARE GIGGLING KICKING YOUR FEET

yukino: down MISERABLE

y/n: NO IM NOT

princess george: what did he do that has you kicking your feet 🤨

chili!: ^^^^^^

babygirl alex: ^^^^^

yukino: ^^^^^^^

honey badger: ^^^^^

y/n: we didn’t do anything oh my god

alabono: we didn’t ask if YALL did something

alabono: we asked what did HE do

alabono: exposed ur self dummy

wifey lily: i’m so proud of you for clocking that babe

alabono: 😌

my baby lando: WAIT

honey badger: YOU TWOOOO DID SOMETHING

yukino: y/n, spill or i crash into lewis next race

y/n: listen. good fucking god.

y/n: i’m literally powering off my phone after this.

y/n: we kissed in the recording both

my baby lando: HUHHHLDOWIFIW

wifey lily: WHATTTTTDOYOUMEANKISSED

chili!: KISSED??? LIKE MWAH MWAH

alabono: MWAH MWAH IS KILLING MEEEE

PIERRE GASLYYYY: Y/N ANSWER THE PHONE

babygirl alex: THEY KISSEDDDDKDOSK

girlfriend kika: LOOOOOOSING IN MY MIND

honey badger: BITCH COME BACK HERE

angel carmen: MY KNEES ARE WEAK WDYM KISS

princess george: YOU DID WHAT WHERE

chal eclair: HE STILL GOT A NICE ENOUGH NICKNAME BEFORE ME MATE.

y/n added to their story!

☆ IMESSAGE with : LEW <3

lew <3: today was as long as a mf

lew <3: i got home and wondered why i couldn’t hear any barking

lew <3: forgot my boy was with u lol

y/n: oh fuck u seem rly rly tired

y/n: it’s okay i’ll drop him off dw

y/n: lol at least one of us got work done

lew <3: was ur day not good?

lew <3: what happened doll

y/n: roscoe is soooo fucking adorable :(

y/n: i literally couldn’t pay attention to anything that wasn’t him

y/n: he’s so so so cute it’s was so distracting 🥹 and the problem was that i had him on my lap the entire morning and when i stopped cuddling him he started whining and crying n i felt like a monster

lew <3: awww

lew <3: ur so cute

lew <3: i feel terrible knowing i can’t take him everywhere with me

y/n: he’s so babie i love him soooo much

lew <3: more than me?

y/n: yes obv 🙄 know ur place

lew <3: lmfaoooo

lew <3: come over already doll

y/n: aw man ur taking roscoe away from me :’(

lew <3: i miss my son

lew <3: and i miss my doll too

y/n: making me blush lew

lew <3: if not me then who will

lew <3: btw ur staying for dinner

lew <3: u don’t have a say in this :)

y/n: yes sir!!

lew <3: oh?

lew <3: sir huh?

y/n: 🫢🤭

lew <3: come over.

y/n: omwwww

lewishamilton added to their story!

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Four — Azriel x Reader

Summary: It’s Solstice! Reader decides she should probably be honest with Azriel about some stuff. Things don’t quite go to plan.

Oof. Okay. This could be uncomfortable reading for some. There are some hints and depictions of domestic abuse and also of alcoholism, so if that’s something that might trigger you, please, please do not read this. The last thing I want is for my writing to be harmful to anybody. Read with caution. Take care and put yourself first. Lots of love.

Also, please don’t hate me for this 😭we know I’m a hoe for angst and it wouldn’t be one of my fics if there wasn’t some sprinkled in there lmao.

Word Count: 5k.

Warnings: Depiction of abusive behaviour. Heavy drinking. Some violence.

On a brisk winter morning, when the sun hasn’t yet graced the sky, the last place you wish to be is at the Windhaven crèche, watching over a group of tired, grouchy younglings. Every second thought that passes through your mind is a longing one, lamenting on how desperately you wish to be back in your bed.

But alas, you owe your friend, Vegha, a favour, making you the sole minder of ten restless little girls, all annoyed that their brothers get to join their fathers for training, while they have to stay back and be…girls. A downfall, according to most Illyrian males.

You’re supposed to be watching over them for a couple of hours while Vegha runs an errand. And that time is going very, very slowly.

You’re in the middle of reading a storybook — and, yes, doing all the voices — when the door opens behind you. You feel a glimmer of hope that perhaps Vegha is back earlier than planned, but when you swivel on the child-sized chair you’ve perched yourself on, it’s Azriel who looms in the doorway.

And you…your heart does a silly little thing in your chest.

“Don’t let me interrupt.” He says. “I can wait.”

Your eyebrows flick up in amusement. “Come take a seat, then. It’s story time.”

His lips twitch, and he goes to reach for one of those infant chairs — which you’re not at all sure can handle all his muscle — but this sparks a flurry of complaints from the girls, who all insist that they want to sit with Azriel the most, and within seconds, he’s cross-legged on the floor with the children somehow managing to settle around him without bickering, and they’re all able to command his attention at once.

Happy mediums, and all that.

Your gaze lingers on him as he does all the right things; leaning his head down so he can appear less…huge, while listening with rapt attention to one of the girl’s chattering; steadying another one as they climb over him to get themselves seated; gently telling them all that they have to be quiet if they want to hear the rest of the story. That, of course, achieves immediate near silence.

And thus begins an entire performance of you continuing the tale, and the girls — and Azriel — responding in all the right places. They howl when they’re supposed to make the sound of a wolf, and roar when it’s a mountain cat, and you don’t miss that Azriel helps the tiniest of the girls to remember which animals make what sounds.

Most males in this gods-forsaken place are an intimidating presence to these children, frightening them into silence whenever they’re around, because girls are supposed to be seen and not heard. But Azriel is always gentle, always kind, and they adore him for it.

It’s a combination of all these things that force you to face a truth that’s been rapidly snowballing inside your mind and heart for the past four days — something has changed. Shifted. Has been shifting and changing for a while.

You laid awake for hours that night in the dormitory, listening to Azriel’s breathing as he slept deeply, happily sated from the pleasure you’d given him. Your mind had been too much of a war zone for you to drift off.

Nine years, you’ve called this male your closest friend. Ever since the very first day you’d met him, when a group of males had pushed you to the floor and kicked mud at you, and he’d jumped in and defended you for no other reason than that he’s good to the bone. Nine years, you’ve been by each other’s sides, and it’s been comfortable and familiar and just…right.

But now — now, you think you may have jeopardised that all by going along with Azriel’s request for help. Help with kissing. Touching. Experiencing.

You’ll always want to help him in any way that you can, of course. But you didn’t quite anticipate the predicament you now find yourself in. That you want all of those things and more, not just under the ruse of building your friend’s confidence. You want to explore more with him, feel more with him. You’ve been able to think about nothing else for days.

And it might make you a total wretch, but you want Kaeda to be a distant memory. The thought of Azriel taking what you’ve shown him, shared with him, and putting his all into somebody else…it sours your stomach. Makes you feel sick.

Makes your heart hurt.

And, well, you’re fucked, really.

It’s a kind of hurt that won’t go away on its own. It isn’t avoidable nor ignorable. And so your only option is to confront it, be honest about it. Whatever the outcome may be.

The story comes to an end, and the girls are calmed and sleepy enough that they look ready to curl up on the floor and doze off. Azriel peels himself away from the cluster of clingy children and stands up, strolling over to you.

“Well that was fun.” He comments quietly, taking the book from your hands. “Who knew I was so adept at doing animal impressions?”

“One of your many talents, I suppose.” You smile, drinking in the sight of him. He looks tired this morning. Tired, but beautiful. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

His expression sobers slightly, and he tells you, “We’re leaving this morning. For the training exercise.”

Immediately, your stomach churns. Being away from your friends sets you on edge. Windhaven is a lonely, lonely place to be without the love of Rhys, Cassian and Azriel to warm you. And not even Rhys’s mother is here to make it a little more bearable.

Az immediately recognises the bleakness that passes your face. He steps closer, his hand a gentle brush against yours. “I’ll be back for Solstice.” He reminds you yet again.

“I know.” You attempt to force an easy, breezing smile. “What’s the plan for Solstice, anyway?”

Normally, Rhysand’s mother would cook a meal in the cottage. You wouldn’t be able to attend, given that you’re always stuck at home with your father, but by the time he would pass out drunk, you’d sneak out and make it to the cottage just as the games were starting. Some of your happiest memories are of being curled up on one couch with Az, Rhys and his mother on the other, and Cassian stood in front of you, making a terrible attempt at playing charades.

But it’ll be different this year. With the High Lord keeping a tight leash on his pregnant mate in Velaris, there will be no meal, no charades. You, Azriel and Cassian would most certainly not be welcome at their intimate family celebration.

“Rhys will spend the day in Velaris.” Az tells you. “Cass and I will be getting drunk. There’s a celebration being held at the dormitories in the evening, so I suppose we’ll all end up there.”

You dip your chin. “I’ll come and find you there, then.”

His responding smile is a gentle one; one that says he sees right through you, right through to the panic that’s eating away at you, and he understands.

There’s no way he sees everything that you’re feeling, though. Perhaps that’s a good thing.

Your body goes slightly rigid as he dips down and presses a kiss to your forehead. His hand squeezes yours, and then he’s pulling away. “See you on Solstice.”

He bids a quiet goodbye to the dozing girls. It’s as he’s heading for the door that you find yourself stepping after him. “…Az?”

He turns, hand on the doorknob. “Yes?”

“There’s…something I need to talk to you about, when you get back. Something I need to tell you.”

Okay. Shit. You’re really doing this.

Azriel’s eyes rake over you, and then he smiles. “We’ll talk on Solstice.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Your head’s not all there today, as you stare out of the window of your father’s forge. Azriel and the others have been gone almost a week, and you’ve spent every one of those days thinking about how you’re going to tell him…whatever it is you’re going to tell him.

You’re not even certain, yourself.

Just that…that things are different. That you know, to begin with, that this was about him and Kaeda — but it’s shifted in your brain at an alarming rate, and now that you’ve shared something so…so meaningful, with him, you’re not sure you can go on acting as though it was all just a favour.

Yeah. That should do it.

And it’s a huge fucking risk, of course. There’s every chance he won’t return the sentiment, and then a giant wedge of unresolved feelings will exist between you.

But you need to — perhaps selfishly — confront this before things between him and Kaeda progress. In case there’s a slight chance that it’ll alter the path it’s heading down.

And you haven’t thought any further than that.

The snow has started again, and you watch the flurries sweep past the window and join the thick layer on the ground. You’ve become so accustomed to the noise of the forge that you hardly notice it anymore — not the constant clanking, nor the heat that the fires swathe the shop in. You used to beg your father to teach you his craft, to allow you to get stuck in and get your hands dirty, but he’s always stubbornly maintained that it’s a male’s job, and that he needs you for the bookkeeping. You’re surprised he trusts you with that.

You breathe a soft sigh, your thoughts once again flitting back to Az. To what he might be doing, thinking, feeling. Whether he misses you as much as you miss him.

But before those thoughts can take a hold of you and sink you deeper into your predicament, the door opens, the bell above it ringing and a gust of cold air momentarily biting you.

It’s rare for females to come to the forge. Very rare, indeed. Which is why, for a second or two, you just stare.

That — and because she’s incredibly beautiful.

Her eyes — the colour of emeralds — sweep the workshop, before landing on you, and she smiles. She has the telltale tanned skin of an Illyrian, but instead of the dark hair that’s so typical around here, hers is red — not orange, not auburn, but blood red. You’ve never seen a shade quite like it.

And if that’s not enough to completely bowl you over, your gaze rakes over her clothing, and you stop, stunned.

Females around here wear homespun dresses of simple brown shades. A few, like yourself, favour basic tunics and breeches. Clothing is just a necessity, not something you lend much thought to.

But this female wears Illyrian leathers. Never, in your life, have you seen females wear Illyrian leathers. It’s simply not a done thing.

But she looks resplendent in them.

They cling to supple curves and accentuate a figure that you don’t think you’d ever be able to achieve with any amount of training. And perhaps the most shocking thing of all — and the most enviable — is the presence of brilliant, beautiful wings at her back. Unclipped. Untouched. Unruined.

How your wings might have one day looked, had your father not destroyed them.

You’re not entirely convinced that an angel hasn’t just stepped into your father’s forge. Or perhaps this is the Mother that everyone worships. Part of you wants to worship her, too, and beg her to bestow upon you her blessings—

You snap yourself out of it before you can fall head-over-heels in love with her. She’s just a customer.

A very, very beautiful customer.

“Good day to you.” She says, approaching the counter. Her voice is like pure music.

You incline your head in greeting. “And to you. Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m interested in having some gifts made for my father and brothers. For Solstice.”

Once again, you’re gawking.

Another thing that’s unheard of; females liking their family members enough to have gifts made for them.

You clear your throat, blinking out of your thoughts. “What…what kind of things were you looking for?”

“Personalised daggers.” She answers, and then she grins in a way that makes you want to tell her your life story, and leans closer. “A male can never have too many daggers, right?”

You breathe a laugh. It doesn’t sound natural. “Absolutely.”

“I’ll be needing three. One for my father, and one each for my two brothers. Can that be done in time for Solstice? I can pay extra…”

This female has beauty, leathers, wings, a relationship with her family members, money. She’s magnificent. A few exchanged words, and you’re awed by her.

Who is she? How have you never seen her before?

“It can be done.” You tell her with a flustered smile. “I’ll just need to sit with you and get some details of exactly what you want made, and then my father will get straight to it. I imagine they’ll be ready for collection by Solstice Eve.”

Her eyes light up in a way that reminds you of sunrise. “That’s perfect.”

There’s a second or two where you just…can’t help staring. Her beauty has knocked you speechless.

But once again, you snap yourself out of it and try to retain some semblance of professionalism.

“Can I take your name down?” You say, and clear your throat again. Gods, you hope you’re not blushing. “For the order.”

You grab a piece of parchment and a pen, hoping you’ll remember how the fuck to write.

“It’s Kaeda.” She says, and the pen nearly slips from your hand. “Kaeda Baralas.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Solstice morning sweeps in just as abruptly as the fresh onslaught of snow that once again batters the camp.

It’s going to be a rough one. You can feel it in your bones.

You dread it every year, but this year is made even worse by the constant stream of thoughts that have been plaguing you over the last week. About whether telling Az about your feelings is a good idea. Not just because of what it could do to your friendship, but because…

Because you can’t deny that since seeing Kaeda in the flesh, you’re doubting yourself more than ever.

Of course, you can see why Azriel would want her. And why he’d want to be good and experienced for her. And you…you’ve been facilitating that. You’re the practice dummy. Kaeda is the real thing.

At least the chaos of Solstice keeps you busy.

You wake early, and from the noise and foot traffic outside your bedroom window, you know Az’s unit has safely returned from their training exercise. Your relief is short-lived, replaced by the dread of your father hitting the bottle.

Every year is the same. You spend the day trying to focus on your preparation of the huge meal you’re expected to cook, while your father knocks back drink after drink and gradually gets rowdier. You tell yourself that the more he drinks, the better — he’ll fall asleep eventually, and you’ll be out of here.

But then the front door bursts open.

It’s four of your father’s friends who pile into your cramped home, singing at the tops of their voices and reeking of booze. You’re only just able to stop one of them knocking a pot of potatoes off the counter with a careless, wayward wing. They barely acknowledge you, filing through to the sitting room to greet your father. Their voices get louder, and an ache is building behind your eye.

Day bleeds into late afternoon. You try to ignore them, to focus on the task at hand. Cooking is usually enjoyable for you, but with an unwelcome party happening in the next room, you find yourself getting more and more stressed.

By the time your father bustles his way into the kitchen and begins sniffing around the food, you’re close to losing it.

“Isn’t it ready yet?” Your father rudely demands.

You stare out of the kitchen window, at the dwindling light of approaching evening, clenching your jaw. “It is. I’m waiting for your friends to leave.”

“They’ll be eating with us.”

You whirl on the spot. “We don’t have enough food for that.”

“I told you we’d have guests.”

No, he absolutely hadn’t. This is a power play. He does shit like this all the time. Backs you into corners.

“I bought food for two people.” You snap, unable to stop yourself. “Not six.”

Your father’s nostrils flare. You know that look on his face a little too well — the one where his cheeks redden and his eyes turn cold. It’s always, always made your stomach lurch.

He steps closer, and you press your back against the counter, trying your utmost not to look intimidated.

“You’d better rectify that, hadn’t you?” His tone is deceptively gentle. “Be a good girl and find a way to make the food go around six people. You wouldn’t want to ruin Solstice.”

It’s a veiled threat. One you’d be wise not to ignore.

So you stare at him and he stares at you. And when he eventually nods and leaves the room, you turn and try to work out how to make a meal for two a meal for six.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

The mountain of a male beside you jostles your chair so violently that you almost fall out of it.

His hand grabs a roast potato from your plate. He shoves it into his mouth, chews, and grins. “You weren’t going to eat that, were you?”

The entire meal has been like this.

Perhaps it’s your ice-thin temper that has you staring him right in the eye; a thing many Illyrian males consider a great disrespect from females. “Would it matter if I was?”

He swallows and swipes the lone, remaining potato you hadn’t planned to touch. “Not really, no.”

The dinner is usually the only part you enjoy of Solstice. A meal that you spend hours perfecting, of slow-cooked meat and roasted potatoes and a colourful array of different vegetables that are cooked to perfection. It’s the one part of the day where you can just sit and breathe, because even your father doesn’t usually have a bad word to say about the meal you’ve presented.

This one has been pure, unadulterated hell. 

To accommodate your unwanted guests, you’ve skimped on your own food, barely affording yourself a couple of mouthfuls. Wine and ale has been spilled across the table, and the conversation around it has only grown more and more uncomfortable — and vile — as the night has worn on. You want nothing more than to get out of here and find your friends, but your father and his cronies show no signs of slowing down. 

You sit, staring emptily at the plates, the little remaining morsels of the meal you spent all day cooking. You try to block out the laughter and jeering, the disgusting comments, the blatant disrespect, but it’s all getting to you, riling you up. You’re not sure how long you’ll last without snapping.

Your answer comes when your father looks at you. And he snaps his fucking fingers at the finished plates. 

“Clear this up, Y/N.” He says. 

You know your father. You know what he can be like, the damage he can do. Your ruined back is evidence enough. And you know the wisest and safest thing is for you to comply and rant about him to your friends later.

But you’re far beyond that point.

You meet his gaze, and your jaw ticks as you shoot back, “Why don’t you clear it up yourself?”

You regret it the second the room falls deathly silent. All the noise is gone in an instant. Every face is looking your way.

But it’s your father’s face you’re concerned with.  The expression that tells you you’ve made a grave, grave mistake. 

“What was that?” His voice is quiet. Too quiet.

You look away. Wish you could cram the words back down your throat. “Nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing.” The male beside you sneers. “You speak to your father like that, girl? If you were my child, I’d string you up by the remains of those wings you never should have been born with.”

“I’d do a lot worse than that.” Another one remarks, a sickening laugh in his voice.

Throughout it all, your father is staring at you. Saying nothing.

“Did it hurt, anyway? Having them ripped off like that? I bet it did. I hope it did.”

Your final straw is when the pig at your side has the audacity to reach around and touch your back. You tense immediately, and you’re shooting up from your chair, knocking it over as you do.

“Don’t ever lay a finger on me again.” You will your voice to be stronger, firmer, but it won’t comply. You shake as you gather the plates up in your hand. “I’m cleaning this up.”

That’s met with a chorus of laughter, a pelting of comments. You tell yourself to block it out, block it the fuck out, balance as much as you reasonably can in your hands and book it into the kitchen. You dump the plates onto the counter and grip onto the sink basin, trying to draw in deep, slow breaths.

But then there are footsteps behind you. And the kitchen door closes. And you know that’s not good.

“Y/N.” 

Your eyes shutter. You release one of those useless breaths before you dare to turn and face your father. 

And when you do, his face is…soft. Eyes filled with concern.

But you’re not stupid enough to buy it. 

You’re taut as a bowstring as he approaches you, stopping inches away. He drinks in the sight of you, tilting his head. You wait for him to tell you that you look just like your mother — a fact that only contributes to his vitriol. As if it’s your fault that she abandoned him, abandoned both of you. 

He thinks it is.

His hand touches your cheek, his thumb sweeping the skin there. You swallow, hoping he can’t feel the way you tremble beneath him. 

“What’s gotten into you, my girl?” He asks quietly. “What did I say about not ruining Solstice?”

You swallow. Lower your gaze. “I thought it would just be the two of us.”

“Do I not have the right to invite my friends into my home?”

“I’m just saying that a little bit of warning would have been appreciated. I didn’t spend hours cooking a meal just for your friends to come along and ruin it.”

“Your attitude has become insufferable. Perhaps it’s those three males you’ve been spreading your legs for. Giving you too much of an ego boost.”

You almost want to laugh in his face — laugh at his cluelessness. But your anger wins. Maybe you’re more like him than you ever thought.

“Or perhaps, father,” you snap, “it’s an accumulation of anger and desperation after twenty years of living with a repulsive, sanctimonious—”

He strikes you so hard that for a moment, you’re simply stunned as to why you’re suddenly on the floor. But the thwack of his hit rings in your ears, echoes through the kitchen. 

And then the metallic taste of blood is coating the inside of your mouth. It’s streaming down your chin, and you’re not even sure where it’s all coming from, only that it hurts and your eyes are stinging. 

Your father stares down at you. And in that moment, you realise that the eeriest thing of all is that he never glares at you. You think you’d prefer that.

He always stares with that emptiness. That icy vacancy. It makes his actions more unpredictable, more dangerous. 

He lunges down so suddenly that you flinch, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. Your legs don’t want to comply as he shoves you towards the door.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” He hisses at you, ripping the door open. “Go on. Fuck off, just like your mother did.”

And then he’s shoving you into the snow, a plume of it erupting around you. You hardly notice the cold. You’re too stunned.

Not stunned enough, though, to refrain from biting back at him. Just like a threatened animal would. 

“Fuck you.” You sneer, the words contorted by a mouthful of blood that you spit onto the snow. “Fuck you, father.”

The bastard laughs in your face. Just as he’s always laughed in your face. And then he kicks snow at you because he can and steps back into the house.

When the door shuts behind him, you push to your feet. You’re trembling all over. It might be the cold. It might be the shock.

There’s only one person you want to see right now. So you wrap your arms around yourself and head towards the dormitories.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Halfway through trudging across the camp, your shoes sodden with snow, your lip still bleeding, the emotions begin to hit.

You resent them. You resent feeling anything at all towards the male who is your only blood relative in this hollow, hollow place. The one who took your wings. The one who has tried to keep a firm grasp on the control he has over your life.

But you do feel things. Hurt and rage and humiliation and — bizarrely — betrayal. As if some small slither of hope had followed you from childhood into adulthood — that your father would one day miraculously awaken as a different person. A family member worth holding onto.

He never would.

No, your true family has always been the small, loving group that crams themselves into a cottage across the camp; a place of warmth and welcoming.

Rhysand and Cassian and Azriel. Rhysand’s mother, too. They are your family. They have always cared, since the moment you met them.

It’s for that reason that you persevere with your walk, even though you’re frozen to the bone. You think you might be crying. You’re not too sure anymore. Your friends will make it better. They always make it better.

The dormitories glow in the distance; a welcome sight, for once. You kick through the snow with desperation, and you’re definitely crying, definitely shaking all over, but the sounds of the celebrations coming from inside are a relief. Playful jeering and someone strumming a lute and off-kilter singing.

You push your way through the door. Inside is as crowded as you expect it to be, but you don’t even care. Anywhere is better than at home.

Your eyes — not really taking in much at all — scan the corridors, the common area, looking for any of your three closest friends. You see none of them, but a hand lands on your shoulder, and you turn to find Vegha there. Her eyes widen immediately at the state of you. You dread to think how bad you look.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” She blurts. “Why are you bleeding?”

“Fell over.” You know how stupid it sounds. “I…I need to find Azriel. Have you seen him?”

“Oh, I think he skulked off to his room a little while ago. Everyone knows he hates big parties like this—”

Perfect. You’ll hole up in his room together and block the rest of the world out. You’re already turning and pushing through people. You’ll apologise to Vegha for your rudeness later. Right now, you just need Azriel’s comfort, his love. The conversation you planned to have with him tonight is now a distant memory, an issue to confront later. You just…just want him. He always makes everything better.

You don’t notice the drink that gets spilled on you, or the disgruntled groups of people you have to shove through. None of that matters. Azriel is your family. He matters.

Finally, you make it to his room. The soft glow of faelights shine beneath the door — an indication he’s inside. You almost sob with relief as you grab the handle and burst in.

Two faces immediately look round at you.

Azriel’s.

Kaeda’s.

Kaeda lies on top of him, hands either side of his head. Her lips are swollen and inches from his. Azriel is palming at her waist, holding her against him. They’re both fully clothed, but…but you get the sense they wouldn’t have been for much longer, had it not been for your interruption.

Azriel drinks in the sight of you, his chest heaving. He blinks. You…you’re rooted to the spot.

And you fucking wince as Kaeda sits up slightly. Az’s hands fall back to his sides.

The beautiful female eyes you, tilting her head. And you want to get out of there, to fucking run, but you can’t do anything but stand and blink as something shatters inside of you.

“The shop hand from the forge.” Kaeda states in surprise, as if it’s ludicrous to consider that you might sometimes venture outside of your father’s workshop. “What happened to your face?”

Azriel is finally springing into action, then, sitting up and scooting out from beneath Kaeda. “Y/N…”

You cannot bear the gentleness of his voice. It may just finish you off.

All of this might. Staying here a second longer might.

So you, for some reason, shake your head and back slowly out of the room. Azriel lurches up, but you’re grabbing hold of the door handle firmly.

“Sorry for interrupting.” Your voice is all wrong and fractured. You quickly shut the door before it can morph into a sob.

You think Azriel might call after you, but it’s probably wishful thinking. You don’t know. Don’t know anything. Don’t know what to do next.

So you simply walk away.

You suppose you’ve taught Azriel everything he needs to know.

azriel tag list: @hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @jjlevin @smitty-werbenjagermenjenson @spikertrash @kindagoldylocks @barbiezambie @kht1998 @soupghoul @nyctophiliawitch @gracie1234567891011 @gaymistakeboi @luvmxo @rinalouu @microwaveallthedemons @starlightshowdown

[kazutora-kurokawa]

i saw your headcanons about Bonten!Mochi x Younger!Reader so i was wonder can you do older!izana (idk maybe he didn't die and join boten😭?) X younger!reader? sfw and nsfw please?

Bonten!Izana x Younger!Reader

♡ SFW + NSFW, fem reader, fluff, exhibitionism, public sex, spanking, Izana is 30/reader is 22, drinking, soft!Izana but also jealous!Izana, au where Zana survived and formed Bonten with Mikey ♡

note: I love my baby Zana 🩷 gotta write for Tora (my other baby) soon

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

SFW

🎴 Buys you anything and everything you want, spoils you rotten like a sugar daddy

🎴 Always offering to help you get dressed, whether it's zipping up your dress or slipping your shoes on your feet

🎴 No one in Bonten knows about you except for Mikey and Kakucho, he jokes and says that you're his little secret wife but he's actually just jealous at the thought of any other members talking to you

🎴 The age gap isn't that noticable because he damn well doesn't look like he's 30

🎴 Gets jealous easily and makes impulsive decisions

🎴 He doesn't drink often, but when he does he gets really emotional and you have to comfort him and hold him all night (only time he'll let you be the big spoon lol)

NSFW

🎴 Punishes you whenever you do something he considers wrong, usually talking to other men without his permission

🎴 Bends you over his knee and spanks you, makes you count the spanks too

"How many was that darling? If you can't remember then I'll just start over."

🎴 Loves fucking you in public, he doesn't care about the risks and only does it to claim you further

"I really didn't like the way that guy was looking at you, maybe I should bend you over the table and let him know who you belong to~"

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @manji-hoe

[e-dubbc11]

LAST ANGST, I SWEAR.

"am I too late?" + "I did care, I used to care" with this hoe:

After this it'll all be sunshine and rainbows 😭😭😭

Hello my lovely friend!

Ok so I know you didn’t ask for this but the prompts you sent in finally inspired me to write a second part to another Matt fic I did called Unforgiven so I’ll leave it linked HERE.

Thank you for sending in a request for this hoe 🤣 I hope it’s ok and thank you for being a part of my follower celebration. You’re a wonderful friend and I love you to pieces.

Unforgiven Part 2

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F! Reader

Warnings: Angst, couple of swear words, mentions of smexy time (18+ please)

Word Count: 3.2K

Summary: Matt had vowed to win you back after you had told him to leave. A new man is one of the obstacles in his way.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

Your body temperature had immediately risen when you uttered those four words. “I don’t forgive you.” Matt could feel the heat radiating off of your body and your heart forcefully beating inside your chest. You weren’t sure you had ever been that angry, that hurt, or had your heart broken that badly.

He knew he had hurt you with his lies and secrets but in his heart, he was just protecting you, keeping you safe, and making sure that his nighttime activities weren’t spilling into his everyday life as an attorney, a friend, and a boyfriend.

Although you made it very clear to him that you didn’t want to see him anymore; he was no longer your boyfriend and he could continue to be The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen without having you as a distraction but his secret would be safe with you.

When you told him to go, you tried your best to hold it together, to not let your voice crack or have your tears fall but as soon as he disappeared that night, your tears spilled over and streaked down your cheeks as fresh sobs fled from your throat. Remembering how acute Matt’s hearing was, you knew that he had probably heard you crying while trying to keep your balance as you carefully walked over to close the window Matt had left open.

Your knees gave out just as you reached your bed, you could already feel your eyes start to swell from the tears as you buried your face into your pillow and cried yourself to sleep. You saw Matt in your dreams that night. The man with the kind hazel eyes, soft brown hair, the adorable dimple on his cheek, and red tinted glasses suddenly morphed into the masked vigilante they called The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. His face was close to yours, a black leather glove caressed your cheek as he apologized over and over again for lying to you but even in your dreams you didn’t forgive him.

However, in both the waking world and the dreaming one, it broke your heart to tell him goodbye. You loved him too but some mistakes are not that easy to forgive and you wondered if you ever could forgive Matt or trust him again.

**********

Each day that had passed and you didn’t think about Matt was better than the ones where he rudely invaded your headspace but as the weeks passed, you had more good days than bad ones, and you even started seeing someone new.

But anytime The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen was in the news, you wondered if Matt was ok, how many scrapes and bruises did he go home with this time, and probably the one question that had been on your mind the most…Was he seeing anyone new?

It wasn’t supposed to matter. You were seeing someone else so why shouldn’t he? Was he honest with them about his little “side job?” Why were you still thinking about him?

Finally, enough time had passed to where you barely thought about him even if the Devil was mentioned on the news. It passed quickly and you were able to go about your day without Matt lingering among your thoughts. Your relationship with your boyfriend, Nathan, was going well; you were…happy.

At least you thought you were.

And not only did the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen keep his city safe, Matt was keeping you safe also. He never stopped worrying about you walking around the city at night even though you had grown up in Hell’s Kitchen, just like he did. He followed you, listened to your phone conversations, and it broke his heart to hear you were seeing someone else.

The night you made him leave your apartment, he told himself that he didn’t care how long it was going to take because he needed you back in his life. Matt never got the chance to explain to you that no one in his life knew he was the masked vigilante, not even his closest friends.

Every time a criminal was put behind bars whether it be from following the law or breaking it, Matt thought it was one step closer to everyone he loved being safe in the city he cared so much about.

But he quickly realized that when you cut the head off of a snake, two more grow back in its place and he sometimes questioned if it was all worth it or he wrestled with his conscience about the moral obligation and that if he could help, he should help.

Matt continued to do everything he could to ensure your safety and just like every weeknight, he waited patiently for you to get home from work. Nathan had a key so he let himself in so he could wait for you too. Matt could hear your boyfriend on the phone telling the person on the other end that he was going to…propose.

Completely shocked, Matt gripped the fire escape tightly so he wouldn’t fall over. He continued to listen to Nathan’s conversation.

“Yeah, I’m meeting her after work for dinner tomorrow night. I was gonna do it then…of course I’ll let you know how it goes. Plan on being my best man…alright, yeah I’ll talk to you soon. Later.” He said.

Matt drew in a sharp breath and a frown darkened his expression as he choked out the only word he could manage to get out, “No…”

It killed him to know that someone else was the object of your affection, that Nathan made you laugh, and your pulse quickened when you saw him. It also made Matt’s blood boil knowing that Nathan was the one who was kissing you, touching you, and pulling sinful noises from you when he wanted to be the one doing those things.

Nathan said he was meeting you for dinner tomorrow night so Matt decided he would meet you first and it would be the first time that he was on time for a date.

**********

Nathan was meeting you at the same restaurant where Matt had stood you up for the final time. It felt a little strange being there again and you thought the restaurant patrons and wait staff were staring at you like last time, even though they weren’t.

As you sat at the table enjoying your wine, you were looking over the menu when the server told you that Nathan was running a little late but he would be there soon. He texted too in case the server forgot to let you know. He was always very thorough.

Continuing to stare down at the menu, you felt someone sit down across from you. Without looking up from the menu, a slight smile stretched across your lips and you said, “Thank god, I’m starving, I ordered you a glass of wine.”

A voice you hadn’t heard in a long time replied, “Well I prefer whiskey but wine will do.”

You knew that low gravelly voice anywhere. When you glanced up from your menu, Matt had a slight smirk on his face.

��Hello, angel.” He said.

Narrowing your eyes, you clenched your teeth together and replied, “Oh now you decide to show up for dinner, Matthew? What the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s nice to see you too, sweetheart.” Said Matt.

As you angrily sipped your wine, you forcefully closed your menu, and wished Matt could see how furious you were but he knew without seeing your face. He detected changes in your breathing, how your pulse quickened, he was even close enough to inhale your scent but it wasn’t your perfume.

Seeing him again brought back a flood of emotions…anger, humiliation, sadness but also you were reminded of how attractive he is, the soft sexy tone to his voice, and just the way he made you feel inside.

How could he still have this hold over you? Maybe you never really gave up that hold in the first place.

“You know you can’t just flash that dimple at me and I’ll fall at your feet, Murdock. It doesn’t work that way. Besides…I’m with someone else now.” You said, sternly.

Looking quite nervous, Matt adjusted his glasses, licked his bottom lip and finally asked, “Am I too late?”

“Matty, I just said I’m with someone else now.” You replied, immediately regretting calling him by his nickname.

It took a long time for you to become emotionally stable after Matt left. There were a lot of tears and sleepless nights and it wasn’t because you didn’t love him.

You loved Matt more than anything but he was the one person that you trusted the most and he had been lying to you from the very beginning of your relationship so how could you be sure he wouldn’t do it again?

“But he didn’t ask you yet.” Matt said assertively.

Confused, you replied, “Ask me what? And how do you know Nathan is gonna ask me something? Have you been spying on me?!!”

The tone of your voice went from confused to angry.

“You can’t marry him, sweetheart.” Said Matt in barely more than a whisper as to not draw any attention to your table.

Again, confused, you replied, “Ok first of all, I’m not marrying anyone and second, I know you know something Matt because you wouldn’t have said that, otherwise. You weren’t honest with me before so you either answer my questions truthfully NOW or get the hell outta here. Understand?”

Firmly, Matt said, “I understand, y/n.”

You started your interrogation.

“Have you been following me, Matthew?”

“Sometimes.”

“Do you spy on me with your bionic hearing when I’m at home?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever been listening during any…intimate moments?”

Matt’s body tensed and bit back what he wanted to say.

“Do you need me to repeat the question, counselor?” You asked.

“Only once and as soon as I heard what was going on, I left, ok?” He finally said.

You tried to stop yourself from smiling and enjoying yourself but you couldn’t.

“And in your opinion, what did you determine based on what you heard?”

A devilish smirk stretched across his lips and he leaned in closer so you could hear him better.

“That he doesn’t make you come nearly as hard as I do.”

Forcefully clenching your thighs together, you bit back a strangled moan as you remembered seeing stars each time Matt pulled an orgasm from you. He had never been selfish in bed;you would give him that.

You had to pull yourself together as you still had more questions for him.

“Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me about your extracurricular activities?” You asked.

“I thought it would be best if you didn’t know and I could keep you out of harm’s way. I thought I could keep it separate from my regular life. No one knew about it, sweetheart…not Foggy, not Karen, no one.” Matt said.

You said, “Is that supposed to make me feel better? That no one else knew? People care about you, Matt. You shouldn’t keep secrets from your friends, that’s why they’re your friends. Or from the person you love.”

“That’s why I came to you that night because I wanted to tell you first. I did care, I used to care about keeping everyone out of that life. I didn’t want anyone else to carry that secret but it kept getting harder to separate the two and I didn’t want to push anyone else away.” He said.

“You can only walk into a wall so many times before we start to question things, Matt.” You said.

He smirked again and replied, “Well I am blind, angel.”

One side of your mouth curled into a slight smile. Matt always knew how to get you to smile.

Over the past several months, you learned holding onto the anger and hurt you felt after Matt left wasn’t good for you, mentally or physically. You had to forgive him and let it go. You would never forget what he did but you could forgive him for it and understand why he did it.

“I am sorry, y/n. I tried to prevent you from getting hurt but I hurt you anyway.” Said Matt.

He turned and tilted his head slightly, listening intently at something only he could hear.

“What? What is it?” You asked.

“Your boyfriend is coming; I hear him talking to the host and yes he is going to ask you to marry him. I heard him on the phone yesterday telling someone about it.” Matt said, quickly.

There were so many thoughts overwhelming your brain. Obviously you still had feelings for Matt and they never truly went away to begin with. This was also the first time you had thought about Nathan since Matt sat down at your table and now he’s telling you about a proposal.

What were you going to do?

“All I ask sweetheart is that you really think about it. Shit, he’s coming. I gotta go. I love you.” Matt said as he grabbed his cane and walked away before you could respond.

“Who was that?” Asked Nathan.

You shrugged and replied. “I don’t know. But he’s blind and was asking for help back to his table.”

**********

You could never go back to that restaurant again after what you’ve experienced there.

The first time was when Matt had left you to sit alone waiting for him to show up but never did and the second time was telling Nathan that you couldn’t marry him.

Overstimulated was an understatement compared to what you were feeling and didn’t feel like walking home so you called an Uber. The ride home let you decompress a little which left you emotionally and physically drained. The stairs up to your apartment seemed to multiply with each step you took and all you wanted to do was take your shoes off and drink a glass of bourbon.

As soon as you opened the door, a gentle breeze pushed the curtains away from the windows and hit your cheeks as you dropped your keys into the bowl by the door.

You didn’t remember leaving the window open or leaving all of the lights off.

“Matty?” You called out, holding your can of pepper spray.

His unmistakable gravelly voice answered you.

“Hey sweetheart. You can put your pepper spray away.” He joked.

Matt removed the black hood from his face as you flicked on the lamp and he walked over to the couch to sit down.

“You wanna drink? Or are you ‘on duty?’” You asked.

Matt smirked in your direction.

“Can I just have a sip of yours?” He asked.

“Very funny, Matthew. I need a whole glass tonight so you either have your own or none. What’s it gonna be?” You asked in a semi-scolding tone.

He chuckled.

“Ok, then pour me one too, angel.” He said.

Hearing him call you “sweetheart” and “angel” again gave you butterflies like it always did to hear him say those words.

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I said yes?” You asked.

Matt chuckled again.

“Well, if you had said yes, I don’t think you would be here…alone.” He said.

Matt always knew how to make you smile and frustrate you at the same time.

You grazed his fingers as you handed him his glass of whiskey. The same thick talented fingers he used tirelessly to work you into a frenzy, that had you begging him to fuck you until your vision went white and you couldn’t see straight.

Matt wasn’t wrong when he said that Nathan didn’t make you come as hard as he did. And what he didn’t know was that Nathan never did. Sure, he got the job done but it was never the way it was when you were with Matt.

Obviously, it wasn’t just about the sex. And it wasn’t that Nathan was a bad guy; he just wasn’t…Matt.

“Then you would be correct, counselor.” You said, taking a sip of your bourbon as you pulled your feet up into the chair you were sitting in.

Matt’s eyes were wide and you could hear the trace of desperation in his voice when he asked, “I want another chance, sweetheart. I know I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“But you did, Matt! You’ve been lying to everyone!” You shouted.

Matt pressed his lips together and shook his head.

“And what would you have me do, y/n?! I didn’t want you to get hurt.” He snapped back.

“And maybe you should let me make my own decisions, Matthew.” You replied. “Everyone seems to want to make my decisions for me! Just let me choose! I know what I want.”

“And what do you want, y/n? You want to have to look over your shoulder when you walk down the street?!” Asked Matt.

“I’ve done that my whole life! All I want is YOU!” You blurted out. “It took me a long time to try and get over you and I don’t think I could do it again. I love you, Matt. I never stopped.”

Matt’s hand gripped the glass tightly and his breathing became rapid. He licked his bottom lip, searching for the words he wanted to say but you didn’t give him the chance to say anything.

All in one motion, you set your glass on the coffee table, the amber liquid moved from one side of the glass to the other and back again, and you walked from your chair, over to him. You removed the glass from Matt’s hand, set it down on the table behind you, and crawled into his lap.

His body was a warm cradle for yours as he snaked his arms around your waist and buried his face into your chest. A long exhale escaped his mouth as his warm breath hit your bare skin and your fingers tangled in his soft brown hair.

Being in his embrace again felt like you had never been apart, his fingers danced up and down your back sending restless shivers down your spine just like they had always done, and he pressed his full lips to your throat like he had a thousand times before.

“I love you too, angel.” Said Matt, gently wrapping his fingers around your throat like a necklace.

Inching your face closer to his, you brushed his stubble with your thumbs and softly planted your lips on his as your eyes closed in relief, a blur of a smile stretched across your mouth as he continued to kiss you, and his name fell from your lips over and over again.

Matt covered your mouth with his own while gently winding strands of your hair in his fingers, his tongue stroking against yours as he told you he loved you over and over again.

There was a lot of uncertainty at the moment but the one thing you were sure of was that you loved each other and you never wanted to be without him again.

One way or another you would figure it out but tonight he was yours and all was forgiven.

Tag List: @munsonownsmyass @gijos @chezagnes @elgrandeavocados @freshabogados @matt-erialgirl

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @k-marzolf @hellskitchens-whore @jvanilly @she-likesorchids

Thank you for reading, I appreciate it! I’ve only tagged a handful of people. If you liked it, you can tell me, I don’t bite. I know I haven’t written for Matt in awhile, no pressure

[sungbeam]

𝐆𝐎𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐗! — eight

viii. is that my shirt ?!

2.1k written (omg im sorry)

in which sungchan's so-called plan includes a dash of jealousy, a pinch of friendship, and ... jisung's shirt??

park jisung x f!mc ; humor, mentions of alcohol, swearing, uhm ur wearing jisung's shirt at some point so if u think that's uncomfy...

« prev · m.list · next »

a/n: surprise 😭? ik u all probably don't even remember what's going on cuz it's almost been TWO YEARS since the last update,, im sorry btw 😭 anyways, it's only this long bc i was stupid when i outlined this and i had to write more to make my stupid idea not sound as stupid

You could already tell that Mark was given speaker privileges when you pulled up outside the house and you felt the bass pulsing through your car. Your brother Mark had a few different aux cord modes: bass boost, lo-fi hoe, Celine Dion, and just plain stripper. You didn't particularly enjoy the latter because that was your brother (gross), but all of the others were quite enjoyable.

Chaeryeong told you earlier she would be coming with her dance club friends, so you had coerced Sungchan to carpool with you. Well, you actually hadn't needed to do any persuading. He somehow just… asked you. Huh. Weird.

"I didn't even realize I stole this shirt," you told him as the two of you hiked up the front lawn of the house, narrowly dodging a couple giggly boys stumbling down the street. You wrinkled your nose at the distinct "Beatbox" logo written in charmingly messy bubble letters on the front, signifying that one charity event the boys hosted a year ago. The back had been decorated in more pen inked doodles and a scrawl you guessed was close to Mark's. Or maybe it was Jeno's… either way, Sungchan had found it tucked among the rest of your t-shirts and you threw it on with no further complaints.

Sungchan shrugged, holding the door open for you as you both entered into the throes of the party. "You didn't realize you stole my pen that one time."

"A pen is different than a whole damn shirt though."

You glanced over at him to see if you had lost him to the crowd, but you should have known better since he towered almost everyone here. He seemed to have gotten a text from someone, but he was quick to tuck his phone away and search the crowd. "Who're you looking—"

He slung an arm over your shoulders and steered you toward the living room. "No one. C'mon, Mark hyung just asked me to bring you over to the DJ booth. Something about cashing in a song suggestion."

That immediately drew your attention. "I can't believe he remembered."

(And Sungchan couldn't believe he just got away with that. He looked over his shoulder toward the hallway where he saw Jisung's face appear in the crowd, then caught his eyes. Sungchan grinned to himself. It was time to get started.)

When you and Sungchan finally reached the DJ booth, Mark greeted you by handing you his phone. Mark and Sungchan exchanged looks over your head—everything was going perfectly.

"Hey, I'm gonna get us some drinks," Sungchan told you with a reassuring pat on your shoulder. You nodded to him as you scrolled through your song choices, but Sungchan was practically gone.

Not even a few steps away, Jisung appeared before him, his dark bangs hanging in his eyes. "Oh, hey."

Sungchan chirped back at him, "'Sup, man."

Jisung narrowed his eyes just slightly, head cocking to the side. "Is Yn here?"

Sungchan almost laughed at how well this was going. "Yeah, she's back with Mark. I was actually just gonna get her a drink—"

"I can get it," he said, and his eyes widened as if even he was surprised he just said that. He cleared his throat, cupping the back of his neck. "Uh—I mean, I can get all of us drinks. I was actually gonna ask if Mark hyung wanted anything."

Suuuure, Sungchan wanted to say. But he could respect this guy's quick thinking. "Oh, cool. Thanks, dude. I think Mark hyung says he's okay, so it's just Yn."

"Cool." And then he was gone.

As Sungchan turned back to the DJ table, he realized Jisung hadn't even asked Sungchan what you wanted or liked to drink.

When he returned to the DJ table, you threw Sungchan a confused look. "I thought you were getting drinks?"

He shrugged helplessly. "Jisung said he'd get them."

"Jisung?" Now, why in the world…

As if your brain had magically manifested him, you spied Jisung carefully maneuvering through the crowd. In one veiny hand, he clutched the necks of two bottles of some mystery liquor, most likely beer, while he raised a little can of ginger ale into the air over his head as if scared the bodies around him would spill it (yes, spill a sealed can of ginger ale).

You couldn't help but eye his attire—the white tank top beneath a dark bomber jacket, paired with a pair of black jeans. There was a silver chain link choker around his neck, and Sungchan even raised his eyebrows at the way your eyes made a generous sweep of the newcomer's form.

You hated him, huh?

Jisung set the beer bottles on the cleared off space on Mark's table, his eyes meeting yours first. He passed you the ginger ale, "Hey, for you."

You accepted it with a hasty nod. He must have asked Sungchan what you wanted.

"Oh, thanks." You took the bottom hem of the Beatbox T-shirt you wore and swiftly swiped it over the rim of the can, before cracking it open with a satisfying click and hiss.

Jisung clasped the back of his neck instinctually, but when he saw the shirt you wore, he thought offhandedly that you and he could've matched. Not that he wanted to match with you. Definitely not. Why would he want that?

You were probably wearing one of your brothers', but he could've sworn the little doodle on the corner of your shoulder looked… familiar.

Wait.

Wait a goddamn second.

Jisung's eyes widened in alarm.

Sungchan held back a snicker. "Uh, you good, Jisung?"

Jisung coughed, glancing over at Mark in case he had caught him staring, too, but the older Lee brother had already turned the opposite way to speak to Vernon from the SVT fraternity. Jisung popped open his beer bottle, then passed the other to Sungchan. "Yeah, ahem, I'm great. Hey, Yn, is that Mark's shirt?"

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you ducked your head to look at the shirt. "Actually, I'm not really sure."

"Oh really? 'Cause… I… I think it's mine."

You sputtered a laugh. "Good joke."

He grimaced. "Can you… turn around?"

"Turn around? Why?"

If Sungchan's eyes weren't deceiving him, he was certain Park Jisung was blushing.

Jisung sighed, a stressed sound. He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead as he inspected the shirt you wore closer. “Because I would've written my name somewhere on the back,” he mumbled with a wince.

You could feel your face and neck warm after he stated his reason, and in an effort to get this matter solved so he could stop staring at you, you turned around. After a moment of silence, you twisted your head over your shoulder to peer back at Sungchan and Jisung. “See? Not your shirt.”

“Except, it definitely is his shirt, Yn,” Sungchan said, lifting his free hand up to cover his grin.

“What?”

Jisung had gone quiet, eyes widened like twin saucers. Not a thought passed behind those eyes as you attempted to look at your back to confirm exactly what both Sungchan and Jisung were telling you. It was impossible—how in the world could Jisung's shirt appear in your closet?

“Sungchan, is it really his shirt?” You asked your friend, pleading for him to tell you this was all a huge misunderstanding.

Sungchan had the decency to look sheepish. He reached over and gently grabbed your shoulder, pulling a part of the T-shirt edge so you could see. This brought you and him closer together as he pointed out Jisung's name to you.

The movement did not go unnoticed by Jisung, who watched this interaction with a wariness he didn't know what to make of. You were wearing his shirt, and somehow looked… good in it…? His eye twitched—why weren't you as friendly with him as you were with Sungchan? He could totally be a good friend—

Acceptance, swiftly followed by immense embarrassment, swept over you. It seemed it wasn't just Jisung who had gone quiet; neither of you could look the other in the eye.

After stepping away from you, Sungchan's eyebrows arched high as he sipped his beer and his gaze flickered between the two of you. “Well, this is awkward,” he mused unhelpfully.

That was enough to snap Jisung out of his daze. He clasped a hand on the back of his neck. “Would you be more comfortable in one of your brothers’ shirts? I can go grab one for you to change into—”

“Oh, uhm, yeah. I can just go upstairs and raid Mark's closet or something. I'm sure you'd like your shirt back.”

“No—I mean,” he sputtered, “yeah. It's no worries, really, if you don't wanna go through the trouble.”

Sungchan suppressed a screech akin to a pterodactyl. He hadn't thought you two would be this awkward around each other. It all played out a lot differently in his head, but… wait. Where the fuck did you go?

He realized quickly that you and Jisung were no longer right in front of him. Sungchan's head swiveled around nearby to search the crowd for you and Jisung, but it seemed that both of you were nowhere in the vicinity. Maybe you were headed up to swap shirts after all; that made his life easier.

As soon as you'd changed out of Jisung's Beatbox T-shirt and into one of Mark's Justin Bieber tour T-shirts, you prepared to step back out into the party. When you opened the door to Mark's bedroom, you found Jisung right where you'd left him, stationed outside while nursing his beer and holding your can of ginger ale.

“Here's your shirt,” you said to him, drawing his attention to you.

“Ah, thanks.” He traded you his T-shirt for your drink, but still, neither of you could hold eye contact.

For a moment, you racked your brain for something to say to loosen all this tension. “Uhm, you did great at the showcase, by the way. Your performance, I mean.”

Jisung's head perked up. “Oh, you stayed for it?” There was an intonation in his voice just now—you’d actually stayed and you also complimented him? He didn't understand why his heart was rattling around in his ribcage like a stampede of galloping horses, but he guessed it had something to do with the fact that he was pleasantly surprised. Something like pride filled his chest.

You gave a small nod, and if he wasn't mistaken, it almost looked shy. “I did end up staying. The thing I thought I had planned…” you trailed off and you filled the silence with a nonchalant shrug.

“Well, thanks for watching and I'm glad you thought I did well,” he said with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Was he finally getting through to you? Were you warming up to him at last?

He couldn't help but search your face then in the dim hallway light. Were your eyes always so pretty? There was a small smudge of silver glitter on the side of your cheek that glistened like diamonds, and he recognized it from somewhere on his shirt. It must have gotten into your face while you were changing.

He raised a hand, then froze. “Uh, you've got a little—a little something—” He pointed to his own cheek to tell you where it was.

“Oh!” You used the back of your hand to rub at it, but because glitter never listened the first time, it stayed put. “Is it gone?”

He winced. “No, it's, uhm—right… right there…”

You tried again, and he awkwardly tried to point it out without actually touching your face.

On your fourth attempt, he huffed. “Here,” he muttered, lifting his hand and gently brushing the glitter off.

When he was done, his hand fell back to his side like a dead weight as reality came crashing back. He coughed. “It's gone now.”

You averted your eyes. “Oh, cool, thanks.”

“Anyways, I should probably go put this away,” he said, gesturing down the hall toward his room with the shirt in his hand.

You gave an eager nod. “Right, yeah. I'll just—I’ll see you back down at the party then?”

Jisung bobbed his head in agreement. “Yeah, for sure! See you down there.”

Like two rats, the pair of you scurried away from each other in opposite directions. Even as you were descending the stairs, you threw a look back at Jisung, who was opening his bedroom door at the end of the hallway. Unbeknownst to you, Jisung had tossed you a glance just milliseconds before.

You swore you could still feel the brush of his fingers against your cheek, but it wasn't like it meant anything, right?

« prev · m.list · next »

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @meosjinn @hyunjaespresent-deobi @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @littlestarjasmine @bless-311 @justanotherkpopstanlol @w3bqrl @kangfication @dior-15 @pxppxrminty @thesunsfullmoon @haechansbbg @moonyswolf

gc taglist: @kae-t-eee @kookiedesi @yeppeudau @spiderrenjunfics @dreamenvi @neo-teenkidz @l33j3n8 @justalildumpling @ahnneyong @jeongintwt @asteriaskingdom

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

What You Need

A/N: too many au fantasy fics where Jordan is the fine ass neighborhood weedman consume me lately. Someone help! 😭 Also, I hope its clear when I refer to J as they or he and she. They when I or a character is vaguely talking about them in general; he or she to help differentiate between their ability to transition or whoever your being intimate with at the time. I hope that makes sense. Just wanted to put my own flavor on my stories but still respect the proper pronouns. I'd love feedback on my Jordan li fics. And please remember, these fics can take a long time to write so pretty please don't flag them as your content consumption is your responsibility. Anyway enjoy!

I step out my brand new stark white BMW, rolling my narrowed eyes as I scan the immediate vicinity. Not payin no mind to the group of dudes starin my way a few cars down, I realize Jordans ass aint nowhere to be found. Too many times over the years of em bein my connect, this mf done made me walk up them damn rickety stairs to grab my sack when they lyin ass specifically promised to be in the lot.

I'm already inna rush to get to my date with Dre. That's why was tryna get a little relaxation; I really didn't wanna show up all tense and hit him with all this attitude at once. A little me time to calm my nerves would do my ass some good after this nightmarish day. And maybe if the date goes well enough, Andre could gimme a hand with that too. Though its impossible to deny if the plug wasn't such a fuck boy, I'd be tryin to give them this work instead. But in no way am I finna compete with any of the hoes on their team.

Bending to reach into my ride, I snatch my cell from the cup holder and slam my car door. My nails click clack across the screen as I text Jordan. I'm already teetering on the edge of insanity so I'm not in the mood to be late or deal with their cocky ass attitude. This was so not supposed to be one of my usual pick ups that lasted over half an hour cause of their antics.

Me: you told me you'd be in the lot when I pulled up.

Not more than 10 seconds go by before I get a response.

This Fuckin Guy: my bad cutie, jus cum up here.

Me: i already let you know I had plans and to be down here this time.

This Fuckin Guy: ik but I had to serve last min. damn.

I roll my eyes as I read the word 'serve'. Yeah, they probably up there servin some lil bitch on her back. For some reason that thought got me on 10.

Me: cus you always wastin my time boy. but fine, i'm comin up.

Me: and my shit better be ready too.

This Fuckin Guy: whatchu need again?

This Fuckin Guy: nvm, Daddy knows exactly what you need..

This Fuckin Guy:

Nibbling my bottom lip softly, I stare at the pic of they fine ass way longer than I'd ever admit to em. Fuck, they just don't realize how many times I've woken up from random scenes of them starin at me like that before diggin me out. Panties and sheets be so fuckin drenched with my juices when I slid my fingers between my lower lips and replayed em back in my mind over and over.

It's so fuckin Jordan to be on standby waitin for some snarky ass remark back, I'm sure of it. But I dont give them the satisfaction, continuing to climb the stairs carefully in my dainty heels.

And I'm absolutely proud of the way I ignore the pounding and slick building between my thighs as I head up the last step and briskly walk to Jordan's apt. Damn I feel a bit pathetic from gettin so horny from a photo that wasn't even a shirtless, nude or dick pic.

I don't even get a chance to knock on the door as an attractive slim blonde with a messy bun and black skin tight leggings opens it. Her expression a bit shocked at first as we briefly stare at each other before she gives me a small smile and quickly walks towards the staircase. Of fuckin course they have some damn bimbo on her way out as I'm coming up. Typical fuckin Jordan. Can't even deny the girl was kinda bad though; that lil fact gone get Jordan popped fa sho.

"Really? Tryna fuck me right after you jus slid in sumn? Nasty ass.." I throw insults at them as soon as I step inside, slamming the door in hopes the lil hoe hears.

"Fuck you on about now?" Jordan's voice is bored from her spot on the couch as she rolls up, not even bothering to look my way.

"I'm speakin on the fact that you tryna hit right now but you got some broad leavin as I'm comin up. Like, the fuck?"

These hands rated E for everyone and they know that. I put a hand on my curvy hip and stare em down. Smoke is finna start steamin out my ears at Jordan's nonchalant behavior. Walkin up to the couch I flop down on the opposite side, full lips pressed into a thin line. Unfortunately my gaze melts more into eye fucking than the daggers I was jus hittin em with as I notice how attractive they are, so damn focused rollin the perfect blunt.

"I ain't fuck her." Tone of voice resembling one to use with a child; clearly she think I'm playin.

I follow the line the tip of her tongue makes as she finishes rolling the blunt. Damn, how I need to feel them doing that allover my fuckin body. I pray Jo ain't got super senses too, like I would just die inside if she could actually smell how wet I was for them right now.

"That right? Then why shawty hair was messy? And why you lookin relaxed as fuck, like you just took a load off? Talkin bout literally.."

"Ion know.. Why you ain't ask her? Told you, I had a order. And maybe I'm calm cause I'm always chill. You needa relax too, princess. Let's smoke."

Always tryna smoke ass; not sure how there's ever any left for them to sell. I roll my eyes at her slick ass, leaning back and folding my arms. Jordan finally looks up at me, dark brown eyes trailin down my frame slowly as she openly ogles my fit.

"Spark it then. But I can't stay long. I told you: I got plans tonight."

"Yeah, you said that. But you ain't say what you got planned the night."

"Cause that's nun ya concern-" my mouth is quick to slam shut at the penetrating stare I get before I can finish my thought.

I've seen that look before; would kill for a view of it while Jordan digs me out actually. (I almost whimper out loud as I envision just that. ) My attitude is immediately extinguished as she checks me without a sayin a fuckin word. She holds my gaze for a few seconds before casting her gaze back down, givin the blunt one last light lick. Clearly amused and feelin triumphant with how I'm put in my place, she openly grins. The silence only lasts half a minute be I speak again.

"Gotta date tonight." I say quietly, absolutely hating myself for how weak my voice comes out.

I expect another death stare but only receive a frown and flared nostrils as Jordan continues to look down. And then more silence. So I speak up again.

"You mad?" Tone a bit stronger this time.

That gets me someneye contact.

"The fuck you think?"

"Well, you shouldn't be since you just-"

"Why you so worried if I'm fuckin when you clearly tryna get ran through tonight?"

The question is like a whip across the face. My cheeks heat as shame flushes through me. My mouth open and closes a few times, struggling to respond. Jordan waits for my response with a confident smirk, transitioning before pulling in a big hit.

"I'm not- I.. That's not why-"

I'm interrupted as he leans over to my side of the couch, grabbing my neck and pulling me in. Sexy ass taking advantage of my lips parting in shock at his grip to blow smoke into my mouth. I take it in without a thought, immediately becoming pliant for him as I inhale. It feels so fucking intimate I want more in an instant.

"Who's the date with?" His fine ass asks me softly, hand still lightly grasping my throat. His thumb rubs my skin there lightly as he takes this moment to assess my fit again.

"Andre." I answer on an exhale, mesmerized by the way he licks at his pretty pink bottom lip.

That makes him pop his gaze back to me, his hold a bit firmer as he reconnects with my y/e/c eyes.

"You not fuckin goin, ma. We clear."

"We're clear."

My response is instantaneous and I have no idea who've I've become in this moment. What I am painfully aware is that he's gettin hard, silver basketball shorts doin nothing to hide his yummy fuckin girth.

Clearly my pussy is way more interested in gettin piped by Jordan than Dre; our close proximity has my desperate empty cunt clenching nonstop. I feel like I'll combust if they don't touch me soon.

"What a good fuckin girl you can be. Who knew?"

The praise has the softest of sounds bubbling from my lips as he takes a longer drag, leanin forward to give me another hit. Since this one's bigger, it has my mind a bit hazy as I exhale. I close my eyes, arms droppin to my lap as I enjoy the high and his big palms wrapped around my neck. A shiver of arousal runs through my frame as he moves to whisper at my ear.

"You like when I tell you how good you are for me? Cause you are honey." I moan an affirming 'mm hm' as Jordan licks and kisses at the sensitive spot behind my lobe. "In fact, can fuck my good girl like she need. Is that what you want? Huh? Itchin for Daddy to slide in them guts? I can.. And I will princess. Gonna get that lil pussy creamin round my cock in no time."

I should be shamed in how my head nods rapidly without my permission, mouth opening to say yes but moaning like a whore instead. I'm completely in shambles, loving the way my welcoming high enhances my craving for his cock.

"Lay back then. Show me how pretty that pussy is." He demands, releasing me and gesturing to the carpet with one hand as he takes a hit and sets the blunt down in the ashtray with the other.

Normally I would at least try to be sensual, make a show of it but I'm too tense right now. I don't even bother to undress as I lay on my back as quick as I can manage, swiftly slippin of my heels and throwing them aside. I'm so thankful for the access the deep slits my fit provides. I only need to spread my thighs and pull my salmon colored thong to the side.

"Damn that lil kitty.. So beautiful, look how she flutters at me baby. Think she want Daddy to come play in it."

Those dirty words make me hungry; fuckin pulsating at how he talks to me. I watch lustfully at the way Jordan stands and strips to his snug black boxer briefs. He smiles at me like he knows something I don't. Get goosebumps from how he stares down at me like he wants to wreck me.

I'm salivating when he pulls his long cock out through the opening and starts shows off. He strokes from tip to the base slowly, starin between my legs like hes inna trance. Dark brown eyes intently focused on the way wetness starts to stream from my slit to my juicy brown ass. I'm so jealous of the way he milks drops of precum on every upward stroke, consistent little grunts of pleasure spilling from him; I want that pleasure.

"Come on Daddy, I'm so ready for it." I goad him.

"Mmm. Fuckin lil slut for me know that?" He groans as he gets on his knees between my legs.

"Yeeees, I knooow." I moan out to his fine ass. "Wish you'd do somethin bout it already."

Grippin the base of his dick, he swipes back and forth through the excess moisture leakin from my slit while grabbing the blunt to take another hit.

"Aight, bet. Legs: shoulders."

I stall for just a moment at his simple request before obeying, setting an ankle at each of his shoulders slowly. My tummy clenches at the thought of the deep fuck I'm about to receive.

Jordan grunts lowly, slidin through once more before slappin my clit thrice with his twitching length. My wails are fuckin thunderous, dramatic ass fuck as an intense sensation swirls in my pulsing cunt. Too damn sensitive, soggy little button throbbing ferociously, I miss the descent of his cock to my drenched hole as the sensations flow throughout my overwhelmed frame.

"Damn you so noisy, baby. Ooooh fuck, Daddy gone enjoy this shit."

He moves forward, tip of his dick pushing at my opening as I groan in absolute peril at his thickness. Gripping and yanking at the plush carpet, breath punching out as his mean ass pulls back and thrusts into me sharply. The deep rumbling moan in his chest has a warmth lickin up my spine as my lil puss struggles to strangle the first few inches of his fat cock.

"Waitwaitwait. Pleeease Jo, please! Sobig, too much. Juswait, juswait.." I whine, releasing the carpet to slap and push at his toned chest and abs.

"No." Jordan snaps, snatching my wrists together and bringing the blunt back to his lips with his free hand.

"Do what you need to take this dick cept that. Do that shit again and it's up." He says, thick smoke billowing from his nose as he gazes at me ferally.

His pace to start is fuckin lethal. I'm already cock drunk when he pulls out and stabs in half way repeatedly, hastily dropping the blunt back in the ashtray. My toes curl at the feeling of him fucking me so roughly. Each thrust gives way for the next, helps make me even slicker so he can slide in further. It's happening too quick, he's digging me out faster than I can breathe. My freshly waxed eyebrows pull together as I yank at his grip on my wrists.

"Oooh shit, that feels sooo good. Yeeees, y/n. Can't believe I'm in these guts. Mmmmfuck, don't fight it. You wanted this shit, right?" He asks, serving me powerful precise jabs.

I realize now that my lids are shut tight, eyes rolled back; my mouth open wide as I sob at the intense fucking I'm receiving. For the sake of satisfying him I offer two jerky nods to his question, pussy walls fluctuating sporadically around his prick.

"Not even in all th-the way. Gone let me all the way inside ma?"

I wish I could've stopped the involuntary 'nooooo' that I moan but at this point my brain is becoming mush. It should be illegal for how fast Jordans reduced me to an incoherent mess.

"Ahhhhh y/n, thas not nice. Why you so mean to me all the time?"

Jordan's teasing damn near falls on deaf ears as he takes my right ankle and adds it with the other. Freeing my wrists he places a thumb on my clit and rubs quickly, holding both legs over his left shoulder. My hands quickly find their place back into the carpet, yanking handfuls as he sadistically unravels me with pure amusement on his face.

It's a surprise I don't deafen us both with the shrieks being forced from me. His frenzied pace increases as he spears me over and over, staring intently at the way I take his cock. My orgasm is so dangerously fuckin close to the surface and I hope he's ready.

"Oooh my go- shit! Ain't neva had a pussy so tight, so fuckin weeeet round my shit. Gone let me keep her all to myself? Huh ma?"

"Yesyesyesyes!"

My crazed chants is the best I can do at this moment as he molds the shape of his dick to my walls. Overwhelmed and overstimulated would be an understatement; finna have me gushin his dick in under 5 and that's a fuckin record for me.

"Good giirrrl, pretty. Ah, ah, this- aahhh God.. This my pussy now y/n. You mine now. Got it?"

Fuck me all these questions don't help my scrambled mind. This a fuckin quiz or something? My response is a garbled jumbled mess of high pitched keens.

"I said do you fuckin understand?" He growls out with one brow raised, passionately drilling my pussy faster.

"YesJo, yeeees! 'M sorry, 'm sorry. SosorryDaddy- please!" I keen in hopes of some type of mercy.

But I get none. Tears track done my cheeks like a heavy rain on a stormy night from being subjugated to this all-consuming pleasure.

"Awww, you look so cute when you cry on my dick baby. Thas it, take it just like that for me. Uhhhfuck, gonna give my perfect princess a big ass nut. Know you want it too y/n; gonna make you leak wit it."

Thanks to his persistence he actually slides into the hilt. I wonder if he can see his long fat cock in my tummy. He's so fuckin big that I wouldn't be surprised. A chuckle reaches my ears as I feel the dam about to burst.

"Mmmm.. Naw ma, wish I could see my fuckin dick in ya tummy-"

Christ, I didn't even know I was voicing my fried ass thoughts. Such a fuckin shame it's at that moment I come and unfortunately miss the rest of his sentence. My cunt compresses the dick that's hell bent on unraveling me from the inside out. The pleasure spikes and my back arches as I fight to accept it. I shake like a leaf as he fucks me fiercely, fingers speeding on my beating little button. A clear stream splatters against his lower body as he praises my efforts.

"Did so good for meeeee, ah ah ah fuck! Mmm, hell yeah y/n! Pleeease gimme my reward! Earned it didn't I? Need it so bad, so fuckin bad! Cuuum baby! Good girl, good girl! GOOD. FUCKIN GIRL!"

I give him two more squirts as he punctuates his words with searingly deep stabs before a heavy warmth blooms in my achy abused little puss. Fuck me, the sensation of Jordan filling my cunt like he owns me is addicting; so damn soothing to the battering I just received. Almost feels like a soothing balm applied to a sore limb. And God damn if he ain't so damn loud as he comes to his end, complementing my poor over used lil puss over and over.

He ceases rubbing my clit to grip both of my legs in a bear hug and creampie me till his nut begins to leak out generously from around his dick. Daddy leaves kisses up and down my calves and legs as he roars out the last of his pleasure. Wish I could snap a pic of the way he tosses his head back before dropping it forward, puffing out heavy grunts of my name; his hips giving stuttering circles as he drains the last bit of his cream into me.

Finally, I'm able to gulp in some air as he hips halt their sweet torture, both of us huffing like we just finished a marathon. Jordan sits back on his haunches, palms sliding down to pull my ass into his lap with both hands. He stays just like that, big dick slowly beginning to soften within me. Daddy looks so fuckin handsome: so damn flushed and sweaty, long damp strands of hair fall into his face; pretty eyes low from smoking and all the work he just put in as he gazes at me with a endearing expression. I press a shaky hand to his chest, feeling his heart race just as fast as mine.

"Get what you need, ma?" He asks, smile dazzling the fuck outta me.

"Yes Daddy."

[blackshadowswriter]

*heavy breathing* OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING IM-🫨⁉️

Alright I'm going to be so loud about this so page break

First off, bestie, the fact that you not only remembered my bday but also wrote a fic??? For me??? WHEN I TELL TOU I SHRIEKED IM NOT KIDDING HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING AMAZING AND SWEET AND THOUGHTFUL AND JUST SKDHDJAJKD IM CRYING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GIRL THANK YOU FOR THIS YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND ON THIS PLANET 😭🖤🖤🖤

Also pls don't apologize for being late when I'm almost a MONTH late, I swear I saw it when you posted (RAN when I got the notif), but I GOT SICK AGAIN 😭🤧 for like the second time in three weeks, and I was so miserable, and this was totally what I needed to get me excited again. And then FINALS hit me so fucking hard this year (istg they get worse every year), and I have been UNDER SIEGE fr, but today is legit my last day WHICH IS SO FUNNY BC IT'S ALSO TAYLOR'S BIRTHDAY TODAY SO IK I HAD TO COME BACK TO THIS

BUT LIKE GIRL HOW CAN YOU DOUBT THIS MASTERPIECE? I LOVE this so much I’m legit speechless, like you spent two days writing this?? FOR ME???? I am so honored like what 😭 what did I do to deserve you, you are the most amazing human ever ilysm 😍🖤🖤

like not only did you give me the cutest fluffiest fic ever but also the effort you put in with the Taylor references? ILYSM MARRY ME BESTIE 😍 I love how we both keep feeding each others obsessions and this was a fucking feast because let me tell you, I thought this was going to have references from New Years Day which is one of my favorite reputation songs but when I started reading and realized it was FULL of ALL the Taylor references I- 🤭 simultaneously have no words and am screaming inside rn

I legit pulled up a doc to write down all the references as I read and started pyscho-analyzing every single line for them, I'm going so crazy over this omggg

Also I'm so sorry if I miss any references, bestie, I'm scrawling this down and giggling like a mad woman (😉) while blowing my nose and coughing every ten seconds.

Starting off with the “once in a lifetime” it’s legit like you know how reobsessed I’ve been with Speak Now and I fucking love Timeless so much so this opening line had me legit gasping out loud like a dramatic hoe😭

“Those stupid love songs on the radio and the endless romantic stories of your friends’ dating lives, however, fueled your need for the same kind of connection only a few songwriters know how to put into words” TAYLOR KNOWS

"But deep down, you craved to find someone who wouldn’t be afraid of sticking around, someone who would never leave you because life tends to get hard." I'm not sure if this was intentional, but this right here just screams The Archer to me like it's totally giving "who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?" and I LOVE IT

The combination of "burning red" and "golden like daylight" PERFECT. Okay for a second I thought "burning red" was from Red and then I remembered the line in Daylight with "burning red" in it, and I'm not sure which one you mean, but I never thought about how those two songs compliment each other so well, BUT IT WORKS, so you're a genius for this one, bestie 🙌

"A love fighting for" 🤝 "tells me this love is worth the fight" AFTERGLOW I LOVE THIS

"So perhaps that is why you chose to lock yourself away and live in delusion instead." OMFG right where you left me is one of my favorite evermore songs everrr, and I love that line "did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion" SO MUCH

"Truth be told, when you’re your own worst enemy and have an inner saboteur...In an attempt to erase all the problems, you became the problem." Anti-hero babyyyy, but also LITERALLY US LMAO

"chasing ghosts that stayed long in the past" Omgg this line reminds me of "chasing shadows in the grocery line" for some reason

And "only came back to haunt the living shit out of you" I'm not sure if this is meant for Haunted, but I love that so so so much, and I'm hallucinating with a maybe fever rn so I kinda think it is

"Blood rushed to his cheeks" SO SCARLET IT WAS MAROON

"you knew that you’d somehow been enchanted to meet him" this is totally feeding my reobsession with Speak Now and I LOVE YOU FOR THAT BESTIE.

"It is possible that the song playing over the speakers in the café right before you bumped him played a part in how you perceived the interaction. You’ve never been one to believe in coincidences. Nothing is ever accidental, and neither was your meeting. It couldn’t have been." MASTERMINDDDDD I LOVE THAT SONG SMM

"Summer that year was cruel" 😎😎

"you didn’t have it in you to put a label on whatever delicate thing was starting to build" 👉 we can't make any promises now, can we, babe 😭😭

"Love is a fragile thing" IT COULD BURN OUT (no because I've always heard "thing" in the song until I checked the lyrics of I Know Places and realized it's "flame" and it blew my mind)

"He let out a grunt. Your name passed his lips. He sounded so weak" maybe I should go to bed bc I'm a little delirious, but I started giggling, "your name on my lips, tongue-tied, free rent living on my mind" and it totally doesn't fit the vibe, but this just reminds me of it 😂

When he woke up to you hovering over him, he groaned. “I’m sorry,” was all he said. “I’d understand if–” This part totally made me laugh because poor Matty, my baby just woke up from passing out and he's still apologizing, bless his heart omg 😭

"coffees over empty takeout containers" this is making me want to go back to your Is It Over Now fic and reread because girl, I'm still not over it 😍

"kissing in the rain" The Way I Loved You is one of my favorite Fearless songs omg, I'm so happy it made it into the fic

"He is the best thing that has ever happened to you." You are the best thing that's ever been mine 😭 bro I'm so in love with how in love we are with Matt, like HE DESERVES THIS LOVE

"You saw something in him from the moment you met that no one can ever take away" you're on your own kid 🥺

"taste of heaven" UNTOUCHABLEEEE 🖤

"You are sunshine, even on your worst days, and he’s midnight rain. But you love the rain. You love him." UGH THIS LINE IS EVERYTHING. Not just the Midnight Rain reference, but I love how in love these two are omg. ALSO this might be me analyzing too deeply, but like I love how you took the original lyrics where it's like "midnight rain" and "sunshine," that they're opposites and that's why they didn't work, but HERE, the rain and sunshine are them complementing each other so well and being so sickeningly sweetly in love 😭

"He took your hand and asked you to dance" Fearlesss and Matt being so sweet, I can't with him 🥰

"You want more of those nights" Ahhh New New's Day!!! I WANT YOUR MIDNIGHTSS 😍

"You want him and all the strings attached to him" THIS IS MAKING ME THINK OF INVISIBLE STRING, I LOVE THAT SOMG SMM

"You want to wear his initial on a chain around your neck, in Braille...“I know I don’t own you,” he said to you, “but I love you. And I know you. I want you to carry me close to your heart the same way I’ll always carry you close to mine.” LOSING MY MIND AT THIS, MY FAVORITE LINE FROM CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT, "not because he owns me but because he really knows me" 😍 I am OBSESSED with this line, and with Matt is so perfect omg 🥺🖤

"All the girls he loved before don’t matter because he’s got you now" Another one of the songs I'm so obsessed with, like All of The Girls YOU LOVED BEFORE is one of my favorite songs ever and it fits so well with Matt, i love this sm

"All those memories replay in sudden flashing sequences" ooo this reminds me so much of Love Story and I feel like it goes perfectly with reader and Matt like they are so fluffy, Love Story just makes such perfect sense for them bc it's so sweet omg

"Matt Murdock is kneeling on the floor before you, the glitter, confetti, and sticky champagne" MORE NEW YEAR'S DAY REFERENCES OMG, I WAS WAITING FOR THIS 🙌 also CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS AHH 😍 wait this is so perfect bc New Year's Day and champagne problems have such similar beginnings, so mashing them together is PERFECT. Idk if I'm right, but the confetti is giving Long Live "confetti falls to the ground" but maybe I'm just hallucinating (I just finished finals, and I'm like half dead)

"You would marry him with paper rings, that much is true." I LIKE SHINY THINGS BUT I'D MARRY YOU WITH PAPER RINGS, but reader is so real for this, I would totally marry Matt NO RING AT ALL JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE MATTY PLS

"He sees right through you. You see right through him" WAIT I might be overanalyzing again (the advanced comp this year really did that to me) but this just feels SO PERFECT to me, with the reference to The Archer bc at the beginning it was that line like "who could ever leave me but who could stay" and now we've come a full circle to the "do you see right through me" and YES, them seeing through each other in the best way and it's just 🤧i'm way too emotion rn but this is so cute im gonna cry

"Even in your worst times, you were there for each other" AHHH I LOVE THE REFERENCE TO DRESS I LOVE THAT SONG WITH ALL MY HEART

"You don’t need to tell him that you would do it a million times over because he knows" OMFG IS THIS FROM ILLICIT AFFAIRS (and a little from I Think He Knows?), MY FAVORITE FOLKLORE SONG ILYSM BESTIE

"And he will never be just the stranger that you bumped into" please dont ever become a stranger whose laugh I would recognize anywhere 🥺🥺 AND THEY WON'T BE, I LOVE THIS SM

"Maybe that was your plan all along. Maybe you are the mastermind he knows that you are. None of it was accidental." AHHH MORE MASTERMIND REFERENCESSS YESSS

"And now, Matt Murdock is yours. Forever and always." PULLING MY HAIR OUT, this was so fucking sweet 😭😭

Bestie, TYSM FOR THIS. I could never have expected this tooth-rottingly fluffy masterpiece, and the TAYLOR REFERENCES, I might be going crazy rn, but the effort you put in to include all of them and for me??? Like, how tf do I have such an amazing, talented best friend??? Thank you so much for writing this for me, this is seriously one of my favorite of your Matt fics now and that's saying something bc I love ALL OF THEM. THANK YOU BESTIE, YOU'RE THE BEST BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 😭🥺🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

(also I know im so late to Taylor’s birthday BUT in my defense it’s still 11 pm here so TECHNICALLY I MADE IT)

New Year's Day | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: You recount your history with Matt and the highs and the lows of your relationship.

Warnings: Fluff, descriptive writing & lack of dialogue, mentions of blood, but this is mostly very tame

Word count: 2.5k

A/n: This One-Shot is dedicated to my bestie, @blackshadowswriter. I'm a bit late, and I'm sorry for that. It took me a bit to finish. I just want to tell you how much I love and appreciate you. I also know you love Taylor, so I thought "why not write a fic and use as many song references as possible? She's going to LOVE that!" You're my favorite person in the world and you deserve this. I love you. I'm all out of words because I'm anxious as hell about showing you this. It took me two days to finish. I wanted it to be as good as I could make it. I'm still not 100% sure, but I never am when it comes to giving gifts. I hope you like it <3 (This is also why I'm not tagging anyone else because this is a gift for my best friend and I intended it as such)

From the moment you bumped into him on the corner street of your favorite café, you knew that he was the kind of chance that would only come around once in a lifetime.

It wasn’t like you, at least not back then, to buy a stranger a coffee. And it was even less like you to give him your number afterward.

You had never been big on dating at that point in your life. You used to take things exactly the way they came to you, and dating never really seemed to fit into that narrative.

You preferred to lose yourself in your own world, a world where no one could touch or hurt you the way you’ve been hurt so many times in the past by people who claimed to care about you—people who claimed to love you, and in the process, you lost sight of the fact that there are still a handful of good people out there.

No one can blame you for thinking like that though. Your heart has been broken one too many times, and not just by broken relationships. 

Deep down, you craved to find someone capable of understanding all of you, not just the pretty parts. You almost felt pathetic for pretending you didn’t need it and still thinking that way.

But deep down, you craved to find someone who wouldn’t be afraid of sticking around, someone who would never leave you because life tends to get hard.

It seemed nearly impossible to find a person like that without breaking your own heart, so you decided to retreat into your shell. Better to keep your heart safe and protected than put yourself out there and be broken all over again, right?

Those stupid love songs on the radio and the endless romantic stories of your friends’ dating lives, however, fueled your need for the same kind of connection only a few songwriters know how to put into words.

You wanted to fall in love, find the right person, and heal. You wanted to figure out why love wasn’t like the burning red of sex and passion but golden, like daylight. A love living for. A love fighting for.

You felt so stupid, secretly pining for an innocent childhood dream that eventually got crushed after years of heartbreak, but that is what happens when someone becomes chronically lonely. You turned to daydreaming because at least in your head, your life could be perfect. Not just good, not just livable, but filled with love and happiness.

Truth be told, when you’re your own worst enemy and have an inner saboteur set out to destroy everything that could be remotely good for you because you truly believe you don’t deserve it, it’s hard to allow yourself to be open. So perhaps that is why you chose to lock yourself away and live in delusion instead. Not facing reality became standard procedure in your way of life.

You tried blaming it on your past, your broken relationships, and disappointments, and while that played a big part in your trauma, you also slowly started to realize that you might have been hurting yourself so you wouldn’t have to open up ever again.

In an attempt to erase all the problems, you became the problem. You became your worst enemy, someone chasing ghosts that stayed long in the past and only came back to haunt the living shit out of you. But that’s a survivable condition. 

You tried therapy, you tried turning your life around and starting anew, and while that helped you find a job you love, find a nice group of friends, and make peace with what’s been broken, nothing else seemed to change. 

You had barely started putting yourself back together again when you bumped into him. You were late for a meeting, so your focus was on your phone instead of the street before you.

It was your fault. He was just trying to make his way over the sidewalk, his cane tapping in a steady rhythm to make his way forward, and you stepped right in the middle of it. 

You remember him grabbing your arm, catching you before you could fall. He wasn’t even irritated. When you looked up in shame, seeing the red glasses and the came, you begged for the floor to open up and swallow you whole. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said. “I wasn’t looking. Are you okay?”

But before you could go on a rant about your stupidity, he cut you off, and in the silkiest voice possible, he said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. Are you?” 

“What?”

“Are you okay? You seem in a bit of a rush. Don’t want you to accidentally bump into a car next.” He chuckled, adjusting his glasses. Blood rushed to his cheeks. “That was a bad joke, sorry.”

You just about melted. “It’s okay,” you found yourself chuckling. “And so am I. I was too focused on my phone. That was my fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself. It happens,” he said. He was so calm about it, unlike other New Yorkers you’ve met before.

Maybe the fact that you found him extraordinarily attractive and easy to be around compelled you to ask if you could buy him a cup of coffee to make up for bumping into him, completely abandoning your plans to make it to your work meeting five minutes late.

He introduced himself as Matthew. A lawyer. Not one of those rich defense attorneys who simply do it for the money. No, he does it to help people, and you fell for him right then and there. 

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was destiny, or maybe it was just dumb luck, but that day, when you got home after work, his number in your phone and a stupidly giddy smile on your flushed face, you knew that you’d somehow been enchanted to meet him. 

You never believed in love at first sight until you bumped into Matt Murdock, but the second you did, your life flipped upside down and changed in ways you could have never predicted. 

It is possible that the song playing over the speakers in the café right before you bumped him played a part in how you perceived the interaction. You’ve never been one to believe in coincidences. Nothing is ever accidental, and neither was your meeting. It couldn’t have been. 

You found each other when you needed someone, anyone, both of you, and it stuck. Thankfully, it did. 

Summer that year was cruel with New York drowning in an excruciating heatwave. You’d been meeting up with Matt for a couple of weeks, but you didn’t have it in you to put a label on whatever delicate thing was starting to build between the two of you. You didn’t want to wrap your hand around it and accidentally shatter something you could see growing into something more in the future. 

He was unlike anyone you’d met before, and he treated you in a way that made you believe, finally, that you are worthy of love. Not just giving but receiving because Matt himself struggled to see his worth after years of being disappointed and being there for everyone but himself. 

Love is a fragile thing though, and you have never been quite good with fragile things.

After a night of drinking away your sorrows at a nearby bar, you made your way to his apartment. You took a cab, too wasted to find your way there by yourself. You remember that you were crying; you were miserable and loathing yourself for several reasons that didn’t even make sense to you then.

When you arrived there, you knocked on his door. You didn’t get an answer. Just as you started to turn around and make your way back outside, you could hear a thud from the other side of the door. Panic settled in. You didn’t even hesitate before you opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked, and made your way into the dark interior of his apartment. 

Finding your blind, catholic not-boyfriend in a pool of his own blood, wearing a leather-clad suit with the horns of the devil had not been on your to-do list until that night. Reality hit you just as fast and knocked sobriety back into your senses as the adrenaline started to take over. 

He let out a grunt. Your name passed his lips. He sounded so weak, so fragile, and you just stood there, your heart pumping too much blood for your body to handle. 

“What the fuck?!” you said. You didn’t yell, you didn’t snap, you simply didn’t know how to process this information. 

You were well aware of the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen parading outside at night, beating up criminals and giving them a good fright—Matt did not fit the picture you had of the guy until you saw him lying there, obviously injured. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” he said hoarsely. He tried to roll over, but the pain turned out to be too severe. 

Needless to say, he passed out on you without a proper explanation, and you somehow had to use what little you could remember from first-aid to help this bleeding mess of a man. You feared that you would lose him that night, and that was when you realized that, on top of falling for him, you didn’t care who he was, you only needed him to live.

When he woke up to you hovering over him, he groaned. “I’m sorry,” was all he said. “I’d understand if–”

“Don’t talk,” you cut him off with a finger on his lips. You wouldn’t let him push you away. Not after everything you’d been through.

He tried to sit up. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“It’s not exactly something you lead with on a first date. I get it. What I don’t get…”

“I didn’t lie,” it was his turn to cut you off. You remember looking up at him, and you heard him out. You had to. In your mind, there is an explanation for everything, and you were once again proven right at that moment.

He bared his life story to you, how he survived through tragedies no human should ever have to face. How he turned blind, how his senses heightened, and how he lost the one person he could always count on. When his father died, something changed in Matt. He tried to go straight, to do his father proud, but he couldn’t ignore this desperate need for justice forever. He felt cursed. So, he became someone who could make a difference, and not just as a lawyer.

He expected you to walk out, but you didn’t. You saw him for who he was, and you accepted him.

“I think I’m falling for you, and it scares the hell out of me,” you blurted out that night.

He stared at you, his unfocused eyes bewildered, his lips moving soundlessly as he tried to find an answer.

Just when you thought he would break your heart after putting your trust in him, he let out a shaky sigh and he kissed you.

He wasn’t ready to say it back just yet, but he spoke to you through actions that made you feel confident in what you were growing again.

You somehow already knew back then that Matt Murdock would be the man you one day would marry and spend the rest of your life with. 

The truth is, you two have been through a lot throughout your relationship. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing, but you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t worth it. 

From the moment you met him to the countless dates, sharing coffees over empty takeout containers, kissing in the rain, Daredevil, fighting over the beautiful women in his life that almost broke you, and fighting over his desperate need to push those away who only want what is good for him because he is own worst saboteur.

It all led you down a journey that turned out to be harder than expected and not at all the love story you envisioned, but it still turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you. He is the best thing that has ever happened to you. 

You used to run away from happiness out of fear of getting hurt, and Matt did the same. He feared to admit it, but then he met you and he finally realized that running was of no use because you were more than ready to stick around through everything. Through every disaster and heartache—through every broken bone, you stuck around.

You saw something in him from the moment you met that no one can ever take away. You got a taste of heaven from the devil himself, and even though he was darker than the sunshine you wished for in your life, you managed to find a way to bring some light into his life. 

You are sunshine, even on your worst days, and he’s midnight rain. But you love the rain. You love him. 

Your first kiss happened in the rain. He took your hand and asked you to dance, and you did. You danced to the sound of the raindrops pattering against the asphalt beneath your feet, and it was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen—Matt engulfed in the soft moonlight, his hand in yours, and a big smile on his irresistible lips. 

You want more of those nights. Even the nights you’ve had to patch him up or hold him as he broke down from all the weight he often enough carries on his shoulders, you want more of those. You want all of them.

You want him and all the strings attached to him, no matter how painful because ever since he can remember, people have walked out on Matt and hurt him in ways you can only fathom. You don’t want to be that person. 

He opened up to you. He decided to be vulnerable. He stood with you through everything and fought for you when you thought you two wouldn’t last.

He gave you his best smile and his tears, and he laughed with you every night that you waited up for him to come home safely. He quickly became the moonlight to your sun—it is a different kind of light, but it is a light that sustains you nonetheless. 

You want all of his laughter and never miss it again. You want his smiles. You want his tears. You want to spend every waking second with him. You want to miss him and welcome him back home after an agonizingly long night of worrying. You want to cheer him up in court and be his lucky charm. You want to wear his initial on a chain around your neck, in Braille, because he got it for you on your birthday. 

“I know I don’t own you,” he said to you, “but I love you. And I know you. I want you to carry me close to your heart the same way I’ll always carry you close to mine.”

And his, you are. You’re no one else’s but his, and even if that sounds a bit territorial, you don’t care. You want all of it and more because it’s Matt you’re talking about, no one else. Not a stranger but the man you love so desperately it hurts sometimes.

All the girls he loved before don’t matter because he’s got you now. You forgave him more times than he probably deserved. You held on when he barely had any strength left. In return, he has shown the same kind of devotion to you time and time again. How can you ever say no to any of that when you are so in love? 

All those memories replay in sudden flashing sequences right in front of your inner eye. You love him more than anyone has ever loved him. You pulled him out of a very dark hole. You saved his life. And he saved yours. 

As he’s kneeling in front of you now, your hand in his and clutching the small, velvety box in his other, your life passes by before your eyes. Your life alone and your life together. You recount every memory in a millisecond, too shocked to even comprehend what is happening. But it is happening. 

Matt Murdock is kneeling on the floor before you, the glitter, confetti, and sticky champagne someone spilled earlier most likely leaving a stain on his good dress pants, but he remains unwavering in his decision to open that little box and show you what he’s been hiding for a while. 

It’s a diamond ring, something he probably took months to save up for. It’s small yet elegant, and it’s staring right at you. He’s taken his glasses off to try and do the same. You would marry him with paper rings, that much is true. 

Matt says your name oh-so-softly. “Will you marry me?” Four words that stop your heart and restart it at the same time. 

He sees right through you. You see right through him. Even in your worst times, you were there for each other, and now he’s asking you to spend the rest of your life with him. Together. To give him all of your days and nights and he will give you all of his in return. He is asking you the question you’ve been wondering if he would ever ask it, and he did. 

The fireworks go off in the distance, in your stomach, everywhere. The new year has rounded the corner. People are cheering and celebrating around you, but you don’t pay attention to them. 

The clock strikes midnight and with the softest smile, you say, “Yes.” You don’t need to tell him that you would do it a million times over because he knows. He knows your heartbeat, and he knows that you would never lie to him. 

He doesn’t waste time to pull you into his arms and kiss you softly, passionately, as if both of your lives depend on it. 

It’s a bit cliché, to get proposed to on New Year’s Eve. To start the new year with the man you love and a ring on your finger. But that only means that you will still be together on New Year’s Day, and all the days after that. 

Matt chose you. You chose Matt. You chose a life together that is as unpredictable as they come, but at least you have each other to hold onto. 

And he will never be just the stranger that you bumped into in front of your favorite corner café ever again. You have him now. Maybe that was your plan all along. Maybe you are the mastermind he knows that you are. None of it was accidental. 

And now, Matt Murdock is yours. Forever and always. 

[valkyrayn]

had a bit of a tot break BUT IM BACK BITCHESSS gosh i missed u and tot

how r u doing love ?? :3 hope everything's good w u

either way, i want to write something for marius again but idk what :( i've been so uncreative recently i hate it lmao

but anyway no negativity today, IM QUITTING MY CURRENT JOB AND I FOUND A NEW BETTER ONEEEEEE

anyways as for fics, i'm thinking abt picking up that one hc i once sent u ages ago, idk if u remember but it was the one where this delulu woman would prance around pax and claim she was marius's gf while you were actually his fiancée and all that; which he just watches initially before he too steps in and kicks that woman out after finally announcing y'all's engagement and when ur home he fucks ur brains out for being so possessive over him and he just found that so adorable and cute of you hehehehhehe

babeeeee omg you’re back!!!! i missed you too!! 😭 i’m good. exhausted but horny as usual lmfao

congrats on getting a new better job bby!! proud of youuu 🥹

omggjfhfhdhd PLEASE i need it. i’m in need of some possessive marius fics. he’d be an absolute menace, just so rough mmmmm i would love to see the reaction of the delulu hoe when he announces he’s engaged 😌

[inaworldlikethis52]

2023 survey lol.

1. How many bruises on you right now? None

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? No

3. Have you stayed in a hospital? Not over night

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Yes

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? I don’t think it counts

6. What are you excited for? To heal

7. What happened tonight? It’s not night yet

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Yes, guys and girls

9. Is confidence cute? It can be

10. What is the last beverage you had? Tea

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Lol none.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Yes

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Working, probably dinner with ex coworkers lol

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Soap lol

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? I was 😭

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Hopefully

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Liz, but I’m not trying to talk to anyone anymore.

18. The last time you felt broken? Today

19. Have you had a soft drink today? no

20. Are you starting to realize anything? yes

21. Are you in a good mood? Nope

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? nope

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? i think his are a lil lighter

24. What do you want right this second? To make things right

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I’d be hurt

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Yes

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Lol no?

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? The challenge

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? yes.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Not everyone but second changes should happen

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Not at all, I couldn’t.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yes.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks water? No lol used to not drink water

34. Listening to? Nothing atm

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Lol I don’t remember the last time I did

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Home? Maybe work? Maybe being a hoe.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? not sure

38. Who did you last call? Liz

39. Who was the last person you danced with? Selvon but maybe my Zumba fam.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? bc I’m weak and let it happen

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Maybe my birthday?

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no we don’t do that

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? All the time

44. Do you tan? Are the beach lol

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? I wish it was with him when he was sober. But no.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No lol

47. Who was the last person to call you? Liz

48. Do you sing in the shower? Sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car? sometimes

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Once at the fair

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? lol no idea

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? sometimes, but they’re fun

53. Is Christmas stressful? As of late yes.

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yeah

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple or coconut custard but I don’t care for

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Physical therapist or teacher

57. Do you believe in ghosts? yes

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes

59. Take a vitamin daily I try

60. Wear slippers? yes

61. Wear a bath robe? Sometimes

62. What do you wear to bed? Boxers and t shirt

63. First concert? maroon 5

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target

65. Nike or Adidas? Nike

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Lol neither

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Love story or idk she has jams

69. Ever take dance lessons? Eh not fully lol

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Lol nope

71. Can you curl your tongue? yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee? No

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes

74. What is your favorite book? Not sure, I read a lot but not sure which one could be my fav

75. Do you study better with or without music? without. I need to focus. But if I’m doing homework I can listen to music

76. Regularly burn incense? nah

77. Ever been in love? I don’t think it was

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Celine Dion

79. What was the last concert you saw? Back street boys

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Both

81. Tea or coffee? Tea.

82. Favorite type of cookie? soft choc chip or oatmeal but not a fan of sweets

83. Can you swim well? not at all

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah? But it’s hard

85. Are you patient? Nope. I need to work on that.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ

87. Ever won a contest? i won tickets to a meet and greet

88. Ever have plastic surgery? nah

89. Which are better black or green olives? black.

90. Opinions on marriage? It’s scary for me

91. Best room for a fireplace? living room

92. Do you want to get married? not sure

[elettralightwood]

200 pages ✨

Like, he’s pretty sure he’s straight. Sure babes 🫶 Straight people, he thinks, probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves they’re straight. Lmao 💀 No cause Alex falling face first because he was having horny thoughts about Henry is top tier 🫡 "Prince Henry is a biscuit,” Nora says, “let him sop you up." NORA OH MY GOD ☠️ "He likes you. He’s freaking out." I wanna cry myself to sleep 🙂 Jealous Alex is so hot pls 😮‍💨 Amy my beloved 🫶 His suit is black, smooth, elegant. Perfect. Alex wants to rip it off. Honestly, same 😌 His footsteps stutter, as if he’s thinking of making a run for it. Alex is not above a flying tackle. I would pay real money to witness this 💀 Henry, the prince. Henry, the boy in the garden. Henry, the boy in his bed. Poetry ✍️ There’s something about the two of them, the way they ignite at different temperatures, Alex’s frenetic energy and Henry’s aching sureness. Idk why i love this sentence so much 👏 Alex is living for it, watching Henry come undone, letting him be whatever he needs to be while alone with Alex behind a locked door. No cause the "be whatever he needs to be" got me crying 😀 Henry rolls over onto his back. Alex’s body wants to follow and tuck into his side, but he stays where he is. DUMB BITCH 🤺 His eyes flicker down to Alex’s hip, where it’s bared above the sheet, and he says as much to himself as to Alex, “I am very, very gay.” HORNY JAIL 🚨 he throws his head back and laughs, and it’s only him, the nerdy, neurotic, sweet, insomniac rich guy who constantly sends Alex photos of his dog, and something slots into place. Y'all i feel tears coming 🙂 "people are writing fan fiction about y’all" so real 💯 I absolutely loved how panicked Alex was during and after the polo match 🤭 OH WE GOT BUTTERCREAM INVOLVED ALRIGHT 🧁 Alex’s heart goes so fucking weird that he has to put his head in his hands for a full minute. Just like me reading this book 🤝 Henry my baby 🥺 All on board the Remus is gay train 🚂 Aw Alex being proud of his sexuality 🥹 binds Henry’s wrists to a hotel bedpost with his own necktie OH DAMN ALRIGHT 👔 "I did get both of the gay kings,” Henry points out. “There’s a prophecy for you.” Another iconic line 🙇‍♀️ BABY 😭 I'm literally gonna protect Henry and Bea for the rest of my life 🫂 also Alex and June 🫂 and Alex wants so badly to see the shadows of expressions moving across his face, to be able to touch them with his fingertips STFU 🤧 June really said "babes u really thought u were hiding it well?" 🫵 You have so much in you, it’s almost impossible to match it. But he’s your match, dumbass. 🥹 it’s not my fault he’s a mysterious and retiring young royal and you’re the tempestuous ingénue that caught his eye Speaking nothing but the truth 🫡 Shaan sweetheart 🫶 "Say good morning to your strumpet, Henry.” “Good morning, strumpet,” Henry says, glancing away from the road to wink at the camera. That's a powerful bottom right here 🫵 Alex feels calmer knowing somewhere in Wales, Henry got a decent night’s sleep. Crying and screaming 👹 I'm sorry what happened to Rafael 20 years ago??? 🤨 Hoe Dameron 💀 Cash 🥹 Come back to me when you’re done being flung through the firmament, you lost Pleiad. STFU??🤧 I’ve already been in the royal box ALEX PLS 💀 Philip is such a dickhead, i hate it sm 🤬 I'M SORRY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???? RAFAEL???

THE RED ROOM SCENE AND THE ONE RIGHT AFTER Y'ALL OH MY GOD I'M HYPERVENTILATING

“I’m going to die,” Henry says helplessly. “I’m going to kill you,” Alex tells him. “Yes, you are,” Henry agrees. I just love them so much 🫡

Reading the emails giggling and kicking my feet and then remembering they get leaked and i find myself crying and sobbing 💃

Henry sinks to his knees on the white marble and looks up at Alex with big, blue, bottomless eyes, and Alex doesn’t know a word in any language to describe it. He forgets they don’t spend the night. So, they do. He discovers Henry sleeps curled up on his side, his spine poking out in little sharp points that are actually soft if you reach out and touch them, very carefully so as not to wake him because he’s actually sleeping for once. In the morning, room service brings up a copy of Le Monde that Alex makes Henry translate out loud. They're keeping it casual guys!! No feelings involved!!

But Perfect Stoic Prince Charming laughs when he comes, and texts Alex at weird hours of the night: You’re a mad, spiteful, unmitigated demon, and I’m going to kiss you until you forget how to talk. And Alex is kind of obsessed with it. Keeping it so casual!!!!

GUYS THE PHASE "NO FEELINGS INVOLVED" IS OVER, I REPEAT, THE FEELINGS ARE VERY MUCH INVOLVED 🗣️

Was the phone call where they talk about Bea and Henry's dad and Henry and Alex's childhoods written specifically to shatter my heart in millions of tiny little pieces or what?? No cause it worked.

He looks down at the magazine and feels the corner of his mouth tug upward. “He looks so different,” he says after a long minute, gazing down at the baby Henry on the page and his easy, unfledged sureness. “I mean, like, obviously. But the way he carries himself.” His fingertips brush the page in the same place they did when he was young, over the sun-gold hair, except now he knows its exact texture. It’s the first time he’s seen it since he learned where this version of Henry went. “It pisses me off sometimes, thinking about everything he’s been through. He’s a good person. He really cares, and he tries. He never deserved any of it.” I really don't have anymore tears you guys please :D

THE KARAOKE SCENE AND WHAT HAPPENS RIGHT AFTER??? AND THE SLEEPY CUDDLES??? AND THE MORNING AFTER???? Y'ALL 😭😭😭

The moment you first called me a prick, my fate was sealed. O, fathers of my bloodline! O, ye kings of olde! Take this crown from me, bury me in my ancestral soil. If only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when American boys with chin dimples are mean to him. HENRY OH MY GOD 💀

Reading Red White and Royal Blue and reacting every 100 pages ❤️💙

[heeseongism]

Can you do a mutual appriciation post pls?

Love your works ! Slay bestie 💪🏻💜✨

Ooh okay !! Im rlly bad at writing sappy messages tho so bare with me 😭 also im going thru my following list as im writing so this isnt in any particular order <3 also ty @sluttyenha for re-sending this ily

@foxdaisy MY PRECIOUS DAISYYY 🥺 notice how i said my daisy? Thats bcs shes mine so all of u hoes better back off, daisy should srsly have the Guinness world record for most adorable person in the world bcs my god shes the cutest 🤧 always so so supportive of all her mutuals and never has anything bad to say abt anyone, shes rlly reminds me of this one mutual i used to have on my old acc and it just made me feel so at home on this new blog <33 daisy rlly just deserves the world, she's just that one friend that you can always count on to brighten up your day 💕 i always look forward to the asks that she sends me and ngl i feel my eyes watering sometimes by how adorable she is :( we’re always active at different time but whenever we do interact it makes me rlly appreciate and love her <3

@sunghoonalter raven, oh god where do i start. raven first and foremost is my bae so everyone back off bcs she is MINE MY PROPERTY 🔪 yes i have claimed both raven and daisy deal with it (i may claim some of my other mutuals so beware) shes also my no 1 angst writer even tho i hate reading it bcs it crushes my heart but I'll read it for her ✋😔 honestly raven deserves way more than shes getting on this hellsite BCS WHY TF ARE YALL SLEEPING ON HER DAMN GOD GIVEN WRITING SKILLS?!?!?!? WAKE UP AND APPRECIATE HER FFS shes the cutest girl in the world with her bambi eyes and might i say beautiful lips 😩 also her humor >>>>>>> it makes me love her even more than i alr do. We may disagree on some stuff (her being bambi and sunghoon having tiddies) but i still love her nonetheless ! I hope ive made her tumblr experience just a little bit better just like she did with mines ❤

@hee-pster - jan my fellow girl boss and lifeline is by far THE LOVELIEST person ive met on this site and im not even over exaggerating. She was the first person i properly interacted with and she immediately made me feel so comfortable on her and ilh for that 😭 she rlly deserves all the praise and love that she recieves bcs shes just such a kind, funny, and bubbly mutual who im proud to call my friend :( shes also hilarious and i love how we can both match each others energy, shes such a beautiful person and i just know shes beautiful on the outside too 😔 we wouldnt be able to handle a face reveal 💔 i rlly do love her, so much that words cant explain how much she means to me, I'll always try my best to be her supportive moot 💕 I hope she always remembers to take care of herself bcs life can be an ass sometimes <3

@jaylaxies aria aka the president of coochie clenching smuts AKA MY QUEEN 😩 WHY IS NOBODY ON THEIR KNEES BOWING TO HER FEET RN??? She is just so so hardworking and i rlly admire her for her perseverance despite all the obstacles she faces on her blog. Shes such a gorgeous person inside and out and shes still so humble even after gaining a massive follwoung which makes me love her sm more. Shes just one of the ppl who im extremely proud to call my friend bcs its not every day you meet someone as amazing aria, shes a rare gem fr 💕💕 I want to give her the world and to protect her from all the hate but sadly im merely a 19 yr old with multipe deficiencies and couldnt fight for my life without shattering my bones. However i hope that my love and affection can help her even if its in the tiniest way possible. Shes honestly one of the sweetest ppl ive met on here and i always look forward to her posts and when we interact :(

@end-hyphen MY LITTLE 5'2" GENIE IN THE BOTTLE 🧞‍♀️ ik alot of ppl say this but genie rlly is just like a big bundle of sunshine and she never fails to make my day whenever i see her in my notifications :( literally a free package of positivity like WHAT DID I DO IN MY PAST LIFE TO DESERVE BEING BLESSED BY SUCH A WHOLESOME HUMAN BEING ??? We haven't been mutuals for very long but i rlly hope our friendship can last for a very very long time bcs tumblr would be so lifeless without her, the happiness would literally be drained out of my tumblr experience ngl 😭 im always looking forward to when we interact and just seeing her interactions with other ppl on my dash makes me so happy that theres still sm positivity despite all the hate anons ew,, genies rlly is just a beautiful person both inside and out and i wish her all the happy things in life!

@jaysbiceps amy or should i say my angel in disguise and by disguise i mean KINKY LEATHER CORSET,, i legit never wouldve expected someone as sweet and GORGEOUS as her could be this sexy but im loving it. Amy is probably the person i dm the most on here, and shes just the cutest most adorable mutual i could ever wish for. Shes so supportive and is always checking up on me which i appreciate vv much, whenever i say i love her i rlly do mean it. I love our talks whether its abt being horny or screaming abt random drama she never fails to make me laugh even if im having a rough day :( She deserves all the love and happiness in the world and i hope she doesnt have to deal with nasty anons anymore bcs or else i will personally go to their house and drain the happiness in them and then gift it to amy.

@shu-ramyeonz shu is... chaotic to say the least... BUT SHES MY CHAOTIC BAE (another one added to the list hehe fight me if u object) I love how she always acts so friendly with ppl even if its the first time they've interacted she acts as if they've know eachother forever nd have gone thru 5 divorces together 😔 I admire her sm for her confidence and positivty despite all the haters in her inbox who hve nothing better to do. also she looks exactly like a pinterest girl THE ENVY UGH 🤧 anyways i love her sm she's always hyping me up and complimenting me for no reason whatsoever which never fails to cheer me up 💕

@hwxnghyynjin BILLIE MY HANDSOME BOY, firstly can we just appreciate how god damn sexy he is bcs the fact that there isnt a billie visuals appreciation day where we all cry over how hot he is doesnt sit right with me 🤨 billie is a mutual of mine from my old acc so we go WAYYY BACK and i can't think of any other mutual i would rather have find this acc (well technically i told him but who cares) he is the cutest bean ever and his smile is so so so so precious it just lights me up inside hes so cute sjakhska :(( someone stop me im fangirling anyways billie is just the light of my life rlly and we dont interact much nowadays but i still feel so comfortable with him which is a huge thing for me. I just love him 😭

@lunarxsun luna is the cutest most adorable most precious person to exist istg words cant explain how hard working she is, i rlly hope one day she gains the recognition she deserves bcs her ocs are SO GOOD 😩 shes always so positive no matter what the haters say and i love that abt her. She's always coming into my ask box to give a little hello and i rlly appreciate it so so much, she's always thinking abt those around her and u can tell she genuinely loves her mutuals, shes such a good person and im manifesting with her that she meets her future husband at the COOL club ;)

@clelevanters tala is an angel that was sent down by god for being too horny and i will stand by that statement 😤 she rlly was blessed by god with those stunning visuals and stunning voice too?? Apparently she sings and im crying bcs i haven't heard her heavenly voice yet 😭 shes such a positive bundle of energy and i love when she randomly pops into my ask box simping over enha or the dark moon characters sjsjsksj tala also shares my pegging kink ugh could she get any better. Shes yet another one of my mutuals who i just wanna protect with all my might and also the fact that shes younger than most of us makes her so babie :( enhablrs babygirl me thinks

@polalvsjy MAE IS THE HUMAN PERSONIFICATION OF COTTAGECORE ISTG SHES SO SOFT AND CUTE except she listens to chase atlantic- shes one of the most beautiful person ive seen im not even joking. She gives off HUGE golden retriever vibes and its so adorable 😭 literally jakes soulmate in my opinion. She's also extremely talented LIKE FIRST SHES AN AMAZING WRITER AND THEN I FIND OUT SHE CAN SING LIKE AN ANGEL, DRAW LIKE PICASSO AND DANCE?!?!? God truly does have favorites 🤧 i always look forward to seeing her on my dash and in my inbox <33 i feel like it’d be rlly nice to just have a picnic with her and talk abt anything bcs shes so easy to speak with <3

@forjongseong NANA IS LITERALLY MY SOULMATE ATP HER MUSIC TASTE IS CHEFS KISS SHE ALSO LISTENS TO MAYE TOO SO LIKE 😍 once again a very very very talented mutual of mines,, her carmesi series OH MY GOD SHE MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SECRETARY!JAY AGENDA. We actually dont interact as much as it feels like we do bcs i just feel so comfortable with her and i love that abt her, i love how shes such a kind inviting person and also extremely pretty too might i say 👀 shes adorable and her love for jay is even more adorable skjndk i always look forward to seeing nana on my dash and i hope we can become even closer!!

@drunkjaked SAX IS ALSO MY SOULMATE STFU she introduced me to kehlani and i’ll always love her for that 💕 we also havent interacted much but it feels like shes a lifelong friend whenever we talk with eachother! Shes such a talented writer and im proud to be mutuals with such a sweet and funny person such as her. I hope that in the future we can become closer friends and i hope she takes care of herself <33

@donghoonie-3 AVERY MY LOVE istg describing how precious they are is impossible, i always love seeing them interact with other ppl on my dash, and HE ALSO SHARES MY LOVE FOR SUBBY HOON 🥹 the best sub!hoon blog on here imo. I dont have much to write bcs we dont interact much but i truly do love and care for them <33

@hee-pot @vivvys @robyncore @4hsng @thots4hee @softforqiankun @amourhee @svnoohe4rts @muffinminnie @criceofpain @blond4enha @sluttyenha @taekookstiddiemilk @nyanggk @valley-of-lies @2minbin @heetro @pandorasblogbcuzican @tfwheeseung @yunskies @jinfie-lvr ILY GUYS I RLLY DO BUT WE HAVENT INTERACTED ENOUGH FOR ME TO WRITE ANYTHING 😭 but i srsly do love u all equally and i hope we can interact more in the future mwah <33 also if i missed out any moots the same goes for you guys

[greenorangevioletgrass]

Omg I’d never thought of pornstar!haz before but damnnnn now I’m imagining it 🥵🥵 I think he’d actually really care about his scene partner and idk if you’ve ever seen love actually but those scenes where they’re filming a sex scene but it’s really cute and awkward that’s how I imagine it 😂 but THEN haz starts the scene and he’s so rough and hot and 🤤bahsjdmskdkdk

I NEED THIS 😭

[finishing hoe for haz asks]

That is EXACTLY my inspiration!!! omg okay i need to write this meet cute now!

cw: pornstar!haz, pornstar!reader, breakup sex but not really, but smut (oral - f, fingering, edging, face slapping, unprotected sex), fluff

***

"Hi, I'm Harrison," the cute boy warmly greets you, offering his hand.

It's kind of strange to shake hands in this state of undress-- well, your state of undress; his blue jeans and white t-shirt can't compare to your soft pink bodysuit.

"Hey, Harrison. I'm Y/N," you return his handshake and his smile. He's cute and surprisingly courteous --didn't break eye contact from you once even to glance at your generous cleavage, and you think,

Huh. That's new.

"Alright, guys. Are we ready?" the director, a veteran porn star in her late 40's, gathers them up for the final briefing. A walk-through of what's about to happen. Make out here, finger there, fuck on this mark, change position on the second mark...

And before you know it, it's time to start the scene. With barely any time to make small talk.

You're on your mark, sitting on the side of the bed, while Harrison stands just out of frame.

"Camera rolling and... ACTION!"

"Well. That's all of it." Harrison stops in front of you, motioning at the box of his belongings in his hands.

"Great! Don't let the door hit you on the way out," you deadpan.

"Great."

"Cool."

But neither of you move. You just glare daggers at each other. And it’s not that difficult to feign that lingering attraction; Harrison is very pretty to look at. His baby blue eyes harden with the rest of his features, and you can see his defined jawlines flexing as he stares you down. Strong hands gripping the handles.

So it feels completely natural for you when you cave in and say,

“Obviously this is gonna be a huge change for both of us. So...” you cross your legs, fully aware he’s watching. “How about one more fuck for the road, hm?”

He laughs mockingly. “What, you miss me already?”

“Ugh, wouldn’t dream of it,” you scoff. “I’m just giving you something to remember me by. ‘Cause you know I’m the best damn thing you’ve ever had, baby.”

The intrigue finds its way into his frown. He puts down the box and bends over you until you had to scoot further up the bed. He leans in so close, his nose nearly touching yours.

“You fucking wish you were... baby.” he sneers on the last word, leaning in for a winning kiss as he gets the final word.

Except he doesn’t.

You shove him away with a condescending smile. “I said one last fuck, not one last kiss.”

He bites the inside of his cheek. “Alright. Suit yourself.” he shoves you into bed and pulls you in by your thighs, yanking your panties aside.

He licks you with all his might, sucking your nether lips and clit like he's thirsting for it. So he's good at what he does, you note. He's got you gushing into the bed in no time, catching your juices with his tongue and fucking it back into you.

"Fuck--" your hand flies into his hair, trying to grasp his sandy curls, but he catches your wrist and pins it down.

"Nah. If I don't get to kiss you, you don't get to do this either." he chuckles darkly.

That wasn't in the script, but you're too fucking hot and bothered to care. And he seems to catch on. Harrison slides a finger inside your sopping, gaping hole and sends you squirming underneath him. He pumps it in and out, in and out, and decides it's not enough.

Soon he's properly fingerfucking you, making a moaning, gushing mess out of you. And he lets you grind into his pretty face for a while. Indulge.

Up until the very last moment.

He feels you inching closer and closer to your first orgasm and he pulls away. Completely. Until the only place he's touching you is on each kneecap, just to keep you spread open.

"No, come on. What the fuck?!" your words hold no weight in a pathetic little whine.

"You were saying, baby? Hm?" he mocks you some more, frustrating and infuriating the shit out of you.

"Go fuck yourself," you snap at him with every bite left in you.

"Oh, I will," he replies defiantly as he unbuckles his belt.

"AND CUT!" the director calls out. "That was great, guys. Let's move onto the next shot."

And just like that, as the camera and lighting crew moves around, Harrison relaxes and approaches you courteously. Respectfully. "Hey, you good?"

"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine," you shrug off, still a bit dazed from the edging. And quite frankly, a tiny bit disappointed that you didn't get to see his dick because you're very intrigued now. "That was really good. Where the hell did you come from?"

"Surrey," he blushes. "You?"

You open your mouth to answer, but a PA steps in to hand you a bottle of lube. So you go on about your hometown as you lather a generous amount of lube between your legs.

"So yeah. I worked in Chicago for a bit, but now I'm here," you conclude your little story.

"Chicago? Nice. What's that like?"

"Cold," you answer immediately, making him laugh.

He doesn't set off your weirdo alert. On the contrary, he puts you completely at ease. You feel even more ready to take on the scene now that you have a decent person (so far) for a partner.

"Everyone ready?" the director calls out to the room.

"Just let me know if I'm being too rough on you," he quickly says before right before you hear ACTION!

Harrison unbuckles his belt, tears his t-shirt off and stands up to step out of his jeans, cock springing proud. All lengthy and pretty and veiny like his arms, and your newfound excitement is easily concealed as familiar lust between a long-term couple.

He crawls into bed, hovering over you and grabbing your face with one hand. "You want me to go fuck myself? Alright. Why don't I fuck myself into you, how about that?"

The tip of his cock nudges your entrance and you spread your legs wider to let him in. But you maintain the scenario and spits out, "Fuck you," right to his face.

His hips snap towards you and in that one swift motion, he sheathes all of himself inside you. You gasp at the sensation, eyes watering up at the delicious stretch he's giving you-- he's a lot longer and thicker than he looks.

He looks at you, trying to read any signs of discomfort or resistance, but you remember that this is still a performance. A job.

"Stop fucking staring at me." you slap him on the cheek and snapping him out of his daze.

"Yeah?" he starts thrusting into you hard and deep. "Well, stop being a fucking brat."

You slap him once again. And again and again and again. He picks up his pace every time your palm lands on his cheek and it feels like heaven. The throbbing between your legs is tantalizing, and the wet, filthy kisses he leaves down your neck and all over your chest is... simply incomparable.

"CUT! The lighting's not quite right, guys..." The director all but jumps out of her chair to give orders to her crew, adjusting the setup.

Meanwhile, Harrison slowly pulls out of you, his whole face and body language softening once more. "You good?"

"Uh-uh." you breathlessly nod as you sit up. "I wanted to say you fuck like a porn star, but uh... You already are."

He laughs openly --and God, what a lovely laugh he has. "I don't know about 'star...'"

"I'm serious!"

"I'm just starting out," he adamantly brushes it off, a (super adorable) bumbling, British mess sitting cross-legged in front of you.

"Well, regardless, you're doing great so far-- so far. Don't get cocky." you nudge him lightly with your knee. "How did you get into the business, by the way?"

"Well, I started out as an escort and... some clients suggested it --like, I started hearing it from a bunch of different people and so, you know, I gave it a shot."

You hum intently. There's no doubt Harrison would make it in porn; the guy is as handsome as a god. And from what she's seen and experienced so far, he's only gonna get more popular from here on out.

The lighting adjustment takes a while, but it doesn't matter. The two of you are perfectly comfortable chatting and getting to know each other, trading stories of your experience in the industry.

It takes you a whole 5 minutes to realize that neither of you were wearing anything-- that your pussy is still throbbing from his cock, and that very cock is coated with your own arousal. He simply moves the conversation along, making a stupid joke about lubes that send you keeling over in laughter, and you decide,

You like this guy. You're gonna get on like wildfire.

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

A couple of things I loved from chapter 7:

Jace and Alec

I’m so happy Alec had someone to help him sort through the density of his emotions. Just figuring out that he is valid in how he feels but he doesn’t need to punish himself anymore, that he fucked up but knows how to fix it. To really trust himself, listen to his heart and trust in the love he and Magnus shares.

Clary (and Andrew) being thirst trap dealers

The unofficial hero’s of LRHWY. Hoe annie watch yourself.

Alec and Zara

LOL. The thing this single minded man will do for love. I know Magnus lost his mind when he saw that video from Raphael. I’m glad Magnus’ friends made him do that, showed him he needed to realise he couldn’t just have automatic access to Magnus. Reminded him that Magnus has some pretty fucking loyal friends who will always love and protect him too (so much so that they are willing to help Alec make Magnus happy again)

“Let me do this for us.”

I’m glad Malec realised they have to meet in the middle, even when shit gets tough. That they can’t give up on each other and just run away from their problems. That he hurts so much more to let the emotions fester and eventually make us sick. That reconciliation scene was so lovely, Alec taking care of Magnus, not getting jealous over his ex, booking a separate room, apologising and making Magnus admit he didn’t feel comfortable with them in the same bed. It was so important for them to have that space to slowly come back to each other. To find that trust and home within themselves again.

Arrow

I love this little cupid so much. Forcing Alec to get out there and be social, cuddling him when he’s feeling down and making him feel less lonely. We love Chairman but Arrow gets just as much love too 😻

The love triangle

Okay wtf, so many things. Like Magnus hates public proposals, would never cheat, broke up with Imasu and slept with Alec. All in one chapter? The 1 Alec simp? LOL chaotic as fuck. It’s clear there is something off with him and Imasu that he was probably trying to tell Alec but got distracted and then Alec just shutdown. I mean think about it, Alec finally felt at home again laying across Magnus only to have all that ripped away from him. His bubble being so aggressively burst when he had been avoiding that pain for more than a year. I know he was hurting but I wish he just took a moment to listen to Magnus. I just don’t ever see Magnus being that heartless to sleep with Alec when he’s committed to someone else (tho I suppose he kinda did lol). I know that they will work it out but fuck, the painnnnnnnn. Alec just can’t catch a break, I hope he doesn’t run away and do more dumb shit I swear. Magnus definitely has some explaining to do, he kinda created this mess? (Not that Alec is making it any better lol)

Such a great chapter! Hope these silly boys actually talk with voices and not with tongues and moans next chapter 😭🙈 (Although they can do that too, just clarification of feelings first please)

Hope you’re feeling better. I know you had a tough week 💖

Special place in heaven for readers who leave comments on their favourite paragraphs skshsksk that’s you btw Mia.

I know a lot of this chapter was overshadowed by the ending (which is fair cause that was some whack ass shit I wrote) but the middle parts were my favourite. I really really liked writing Malec’s reconciliation scene(s). I think they were very much needed. And also Alec stupidly asking Magnus to get married was just *incoherent screaming*

I think communication issues are something that never gets resolved. Like, I don’t think it’s something you work on for 6 months and then you’re perfect at it. It’s stuff that people have to keep on learning and trying every single day. And sometimes it can get exhausting. These little shits will talk about everything soon. Just remember that Magnus and Alec always try to do good. But sometimes even they make mistakes.

[smol-and-grumpy]

Hi love!! How you're doing?? I just saw you saying about Afterglow not receiving as much attention as the others and I'm just here to say that I haven't started that one for one simple reason: I'm OBSESSED with your writing and I can't start reading your stories until they're finished bc once I start I genuinely CAN'T STOP IT! Like, I need to read ALL at once bc otherwise I'll just be curious 24/7 until the next chapter is released 😭😭 Your stories are just that good! But I'm so anxious about it and can't WAIT to start reading that one, I'm 100% it'll be just as awesome as the others (and about not having much smut, I really couldn't care less about that part because I absolutely love the way you write about the characters feelings in general and THAT'S what catches me the most in your stories!!). Thank you for always sharing your incredible work with us, it makes my weeks and days better!! <3 xoxo -🎃

Dear 🎃

I’m posting this late because I took my time to read this message over and over again. You made my eyes sweat happily. Honestly, I get why you don’t want to start a story. A lot of people only start my series when it’s finished (looking at you, Mel 👀), but I do admire your patience. I wish I could write faster and use less words to express what I want to say so the series would be done sooner 😂

Thank you, cutie, for sticking with me and the stories I come up with in my head. And that you’re not only reading stories for the smut as it’s really not doing a lot to the plot, yet I know some of my readers are horny hoes and need it, hence why I still write it, but I try to balance it out. I always say that I really want to be remembered for my world building (or AU building) and the emotions of my characters rather than the smut I write. To see that I managed to do that (at least with you) brings me so much joy! 😍

So, again. Thank you for taking your time to send me this. You made a girl very happy ❤️❤️❤️

[astrxlis-archive]

Figured out that maybe i would just send in short asks for now 💪 it's pretty relaxing and doesn't take much time lmao 🤭

"hewwo 🍰 uwu" ok this is so cute fox 🥺 it is really cute 🤭

I do lowkey like getting accurate results... Or those calling you out especially on uquiz because you can't view other results unless you got it (unlike in quotev) :(( getting an accurate result feels very rewarding to me 😍

Since i have done the irodori quest + archon quest quiet a time ago already and it's not the heated topic of these days now, i would just recall on what i can remember ! 💕 They're like so random 😭

— my thoughts for the irodori: i like it. Lowkey detective game. I love how the characters may seem random but would make sense once you played through it all. Albedo's the ideal kind of person everyone wants to be. Me too. I want to be him. And i hate him for that. Klee and Yoimiya interaction is so cute. I love the book they made. The illustrations are really cute. Yoimiya is so sweet :3 As a Kazuha liker, i know i am not fond of Scaramouche. But this event really made me... Not like him more xD i am sorry to every scara liker and apologist, but i do not condone his actions and i wanna kick and smack his ass HARD if i could. Albedo is a genius for helping Xingqiu with stamping signatures. I love Albedo's illustrations, now HAND IT OVER!!! THIS IS A FOOKIN ROBBERY MY MAN IM STEALIN YOUR ART POWER!! Kazuha is really lovely and beautiful. I like the splash water -> make illustrations appear using this magic ink. I forgot about talking about Venti, hold on 😭 I apologize. He's a funny guy. The way he slowly looked up to Sara when his way was blocked bc he is sus. I really like the side quests. The itto and thoma one was wild. HE'S ALLERGIC TO BEANS oh No! I was thinking what if Yae is the general of Tenryou forces instead of Sara, i bet he'd tremble a bit on the battlefield. Kokomi and Yae penpals so cute. He's also still acting his role as a general of watatsumi bc he expressed his concern for the region's agriculture when making an exchange for the novel books for scientific agriculture ones. Ayato is truly a great mastermind in the background. I love hoe we get to interact with each and every inazuma character here :D

— Additional thoughts for Irodori Fest but the minigames edition: the theater mechanicus is disappointing this time. Theater Mechanicus is actually my favorite minigame (except this time). I Love the flower arrangement event !!!!!!! That's my favorite. The clash of lone blades' parry gameplay is really unique but i suck at it 😎 taroumarou beat my ass so hard and left me sobbing that a dog defeated me. I also LOVE the poem minigame!!! I like how they let you choose what lines to put etc etc. But what is not ok is making me take photos of so many random stuff then finding out that i havent taken the photo of this certain item to unlock the last poem lines.

— my thoughts for the Archon quest: hello Dainsleif it's been a while my man. I actually don't remember anything now omg. I like Halfdan's hair. It breaks my heart that Dain had to lie to him to make him pass away in peace. What a beautiful comradeship. The hilichurl suffering is so... So twisted. I don't remember if Lumine(my abyss twin bc i chose aether) really agreed to let this happen and not save the hilichurls bc she was seen offering the Inteyvat flowers. But it breaks my heart how they find the place to rest and accept their death :((( i actually thought we'd have more time to spend with Halfdan but. :( Okay this is sad. I really think it's just very short if not for me struggling to climb the floating buildings 🤣😭

Ok that's all 👏 thank u

— 🍰.

i started writing this reply when i recieved this ask, on may 19th, and then my life derailed. i’m sorry. there have been many more events since then, but i tried to the best of my ability to provide an answer to this one.

-

hewwo 🍰 :3c

i’m gonna keep using the hewwo then because that’s how i greet my friends honestly 😂 i’m glad you think it’s cute 🤭

me too! results that call you out are 🔥. now that you mention quotev, the last quiz i took there was probably an A/B/O one years ago 💀 do you try to get other results just to see what it says on uquiz?

ah, don’t worry about that!! i actually hadn’t done the archon quest by the time you sent this ask because i didn’t have the time. i actually finished it like three days before 2.7 was released 🫠 then i spedrun itto’s story quest because i had a feeling it’d be a requirement for the new one and i was right 😮‍💨

thank you for sharing your thoughts!! i’m sorry you feel jealous of albedo, but honestly, i can relate. mf is pretty and a genius and talented and good on pretty much everything we’ve seen him do – for some reason that makes me fear even more for his future… yoimiya really is sweet 🥹 as both a scara and a kazuha liker…. i think i’ll keep quiet on this one 😂😂😂😂 venti showing up was honestly the highlight of the event for me, maybe because i’m starved for more venti content… i’m still waiting for his second story quest…

itto. oh man, itto. istg every time thay man shows up on screen i’m automatically smiling. i have zero doubts he goes bug thoma when he can, and thoma entertains him because they’re friends 🫶 the way thoma felt responsible for him when he had the allergic reaction was so nice to see; he really is a caring person, through and through.

dude, gorou and kokomi showing up was literally the least expected thing for me. it was funny to see how they all interacted with miko. and yeah, kokomi and her being penpals was so cute!! i wonder if they only talk about book… gorou absconding the second he saw yae tho 😂😂😂 my man had war flashbacks non related to the actual war. he’s also incredibly selfless. i appreciate him a lot more now.

honestly, i don’t know who i was expecting to be behind the whole story chashing thing, but for some reason i wasn’t expecting ayato – maybe because in my head he’s always so busy, he wouldn’t get this involved… i don’t know. it was nice seeing him though.

i wish i could share my own thoughts about the minigames because honestly, they seemed pretty fun if i had had the time to enjoy them. i spedrun everything to get the rewards 🥲 but listen, taroumaru was a very hard fight. i remember fighting him more than once bc he kept beating me up. you’ve fought well 🫡 the picture taking also made me angry because of that – like, at least tell me the pics i need to take!!!! 🤬 i like having all options!!! but i’m not gonna keep going back to take more pics!!!!!

as for the archon quest, dude. i was so pissed to see dainsleif. like, mf has the balls to speedrun into the portal lumi disappeared while knowing i’ve been searching for her and then months later reappear into my life like nothing happened????? no. just no. i did the quest complaining the entire time until it gave me more lore lmao and then it broke my heart in half by confirming the whole “hilichurls are khaenri’ahn citizens” theory. i’m pretty sure lumi was informed of what would happen to them once she activated the bell, but i think she was trying to reverse the curse? it was pretty short, climbing and fights aside. it took me a little longer because it was a painful quest to do… i keep visiting the place where she left the inteyvats for the hilichurls, hanging out for a minute and then moving on.

as for halfdan… i wish we had more time with him too, but i understand why we didn’t. it’s not like he was really there, you know? the only moment we got to truly talk to him was at his end, and even then, he needed to know the citizens were okay. i was not okay.