#when he went down my heart legit stopped

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

I'll come pick it up after, the end

John Egan X Female! Reader

Sumarry: It's finally their wedding day...

Warning: Historical inaccuracies/ full/ might not be accurate to real weeding speech in the 40s/ use of Y/n/

Word count: 1,2k

The day had finally come, their wedding day. She was nervous, but she was able to go to London to buy a wedding dress, with Daisy and Elodie. Her dress was simple, it stopped before her ankles and it had long sleeves. She didn’t want an extravagant wedding dress, they were getting married on the base, they weren’t Catholics, but the priest on the base was going to marry them, so it’ll be legit. She’d ask Crosby to walk her down the aisle, Buck was the best men, Elodie was the maid of honor and Meatball was going to carry the rings, with the two kids guiding him. Her hair was down, she didn’t have a veil, just a dress and heels.

He was nervous, but he was really happy. He was marring his girl. ‘’You ready for this?’’ Buck asked, coming in the room. ‘’Yeah, I’m nervous, but it’s my girl, I can’t wait to marry her’’ He sign. ‘’Let’s go its time.’’ Corporal says, as he enters the room. ‘’Thanks, Corporal’’ Bucky says. ‘’She’s a good girl, I’m happy for you, Major’’ he says. ‘’I appreciate it, Corporal, thank you.’’ They entered the room, soldiers were sat, some were still arriving. Nurses were there too, almost all the men and woman on the base were there. The priest was waiting for him at the altar. ‘’Who thought we would see Bucky tie the knot?’’ Lieutenant Dye said, even if he went home because he did 25 missions, he came back to see his friend get married. ‘’Yeah, well you did steal my previous girl, I had to find another one’’ he laughed. Right now, he couldn’t even think about Lil, the only woman that mattered to him was his future wife. When Bucky commented about their previous relationship, she bent her head down, ashamed. ‘’Don’t worry, Lil, he’s the better choice for you. I’m happy for your guys’’ He reassured her. Dye smiled to the groom and took the hand of his lady. Lil smiled and took a relived breath.

Once again, she was pacing around the room, Meatball following her with his head. Harry Crosby came in the room, smiling. ‘’Are you ready?’’ he asked. ‘’I feel like I’m going to throw up.’’ ‘’I know that feeling, but don’t worry I can recommend you to an amazing doctor’’ Crosby smiled, she laughed, it calmed her down a little. She didn’t even know why she was nervous, they both loved each other, but she was nervous. ‘’I’m really happy for you. You deserve happiness, Y/n, you both do.’’ They both hugged. ‘’You’re my best friend, Croz, thank you for everything you did for me’’ She whispered in his ear. ‘’Now, don’t make me cry.’’ They chuckled as Daisy came to get them. ‘’It’s time’’ she simply said.

When the band started to play music, Bucky’s heart stopped; she was coming. He turned around to look at his girl. She was magnificent, her dress was simple, but it was made for her. After all, they didn’t have much time to plan their wedding and their budget was small. Harry Crosby was walking her, he was grateful for him, he took care of her when he wasn’t there. When she saw him in his uniform, she started to smile like she never did before, she’d saw him in his uniform before, but he looks wonderful. When Harry and Y/n reached the groom, Crosby wanted to say something. Normally, her father would’ve give her to John, but Harry needed to say words to him. ‘’Take good care of her, just like she took care of you. Y/n smiled, hearing the word his best friend said to her future husband.

When Meatball came down the aisle, with the two boys, the soldiers chuckled. Everyone on the base knew that Y/n and Meatball came as a pair, they were together all the time. When she worked at the hospital, Meatball was there too, he made soldiers smile. The two boys handed the rings to the bride and groom. They recited the vow that the priest asked them too. It was beautiful, making them promise to each other that they will love the other, no matter what. It said that they would always be there for the other and stuff that made some people cry. When it was time for their personal vows, Y/n decided to go first. ‘’Bucky, my love, when I first met you, I thought you were going to be just another soldier that crossed my path. I was clearly wrong because, I’m now in a white dress in front of you. I did not just fell in love with you, I feel in love with your smile, your humor, your qualities and your flaws. I fell in love with each version of you, the one you show when you’re with your friends, the person you are when we are alone, the person that you’re too scared to show me, but did before you trusted me, and I also fell in love with the pilot version of you. Words aren’t enough to tell you how much you mean to me, but I’m so happy that Meatball came to me that day, so I could meet my soulmate’’ She cried, they were happy tears. Bucky was crying too, he didn’t care if some soldiers thought he was weak, that was the most beautiful thing he ever heard. ‘’My darling, my forever, I feel like the luckiest men on earth, because I get to be your husband. When things were rough, I think about you. Your smile, your laugh, your beautiful eyes and your voice. I’m not as talented with words as you are, but I can tell you this, it’s so hard for me to put our love into words, because I love you in ways, I have never loved anyone else, but I promise that I will spend the rest of my life, searching for them. I love you, my darling.’’ If the crowd didn’t cry to Y/n’s speech, they cried at Bucky’s. Even the priest was about to cry. ‘’ In the sight of God and these witnesses, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride.’’

They didn’t have to be told twice, their kiss was full of love and passion. It celebrated their love and said all the words they couldn’t find. The crowd applauded and congratulated the newly weds. ‘’I love you Mrs. Egan’’ Bucky said, looking at his wife. ‘’I love you more, Mr. Egan’’ she smiled.

After the celebration, and almost 4 songs that Bucky insisted on singing, they both pack all their things. Because has a weeding gift, the Corporal gave Bucky the right to go home. After all, he was at 23 missions, he was close to 25. And Y/n made Elodie the chief nurse, because the Corporal also gave her the right to go home. They were going home, they both couldn’t believe it, but it was the case. A smaller plane, that was made for traveling, was waiting for them on the runway. The newly weds were going back home on the same plane as Lieutenant Dye. They hugged their friends, Y/n gave Buck and Croz the phone number at Bucky’s home. That’s where they would live until they could afford a home. When they boarded the plane, they were euphoric. ‘’Can you actually believe we’re going home?’’ Y/n whispered. He shook his head. ‘’The only thing I believe right now, is the fact that you’re my wife, and my ribs are healed’’ he chuckled. She giggled when the decide to steel his watch, putting it in her bra. ‘’Come and pick it up after the flight’’ she teased with a huge smile. It was the beginning of their life together, and they would savor each second, they had together, because they both knew how easily life can change. But it wasn’t on their mind right now. The only thing on Bucky’s mind, was to pick up his watch, just like he did the first time.

A/n: It's the end y'all!!! Thank you for reading this story. I already have more ideas, for other stuff. Love you all :)

[aezuria]

Could you maybe do jason grace x jealous fem!reader? We know that Jason is canonically VERY attractive. He's legit all American boy fr, so obv he'd have so many ppl crushing on him in camp. So reader thinks she's not pretty enough for him or something and jason finds out abt it, and reassures her that's she's perfect :( ahh just some fluffiness maybe?

*ੈ✎ golden boy, can i be your golden girl?

content: jason grace x reader; oneshot

╰┈▸ back cover: part I | part II

warnings: bit of angst BUT it ends in fluff dw

librarian's annotations: IM SO SORRY ANON mitski started playing and i forgot u said "just some fluffiness" 😔😔

sometimes, you could hardly believe that you were dating the jason grace. "the jason grace," as if he was some world-famous football player, which he'll probably turn out to be. every single student knew his name like it was stamped into their brain as soon as they started attending this school. it made you both proud and uneasy, especially when more popular, pretty girls went up to him. you didn't doubt his loyalty, of course, but you often felt that he could have done so much better. any girl would gladly date him as soon as he requested. but he chose a no-name like you, instead. you couldn't count the amount of times your own classmates said "who?" when jason mentioned you.

it wasn't fair, you knew. you could tell he very obviously loved you by the way he handled you with such gentleness it made your heart hurt. his air alone seemed to shine like the sun, illuminating you and everyone around him. but akin to the sun, it hurt to look at him for too long.

and yet, you couldn’t bear to leave his side and offer a better, more suitable partner for him— for you were too selfish. he was all you ever wanted, was it so wrong to hold onto that dream for a few moments more?

(yes, it was)

"you'll be at my next game, right?" jason pressed a kiss to your temple as he cradled you in his arms, your back to his chest. "you're my good luck charm after all."

it was stupid. so stupid, because you knew he wanted you there— he just asked you at that. but it didn't stop the churning in your stomach about how you felt that you didn't belong on the bleachers.

"yeah. i'll be there for sure." you smiled. troubling jason would hurt you more than keeping your thoughts to yourself. you wouldn't let his sunshine dim if you could help it. and that, you could.

your heart was too heavy for you to fall asleep. it weighed you down, filling your lungs so you couldn't breathe. your rampant tossing and turning led you to the moon, shining timidly behind the curtain. you reached out to part it to the side, the moon sneaking into your room and drowning your sheets in a soft glow. it tickled your skin and did away with the uneasiness in your heart, scaring it away into tomorrow. rest easy, now.

but the moon was gone with the night, the sun in its place as it tugged at your heartstrings to wake you up. it's brightness was warm yet harsh, urging you to get ready and see your own golden boy. you heaved a sigh and obeyed, swinging your feet off the side of your bed and getting up. as you picked out your clothes, you caught sight of yourself in the mirror and paused. was this really what he wants? it was hard to believe. you didn't have to look close to see the imperfections etched on your face, your body. put next to jason, it'd only make you seem worse.

"y/n!" jason scooped you into a hug, already dressed in his gear, save for his helmet. the sun does have its quirks after all. his touch burned the most of your thoughts away, leaving only amusement behind.

"you're squeezing too tight!" you croaked out through a fit of giggles only he could make.

he loosened almost immediately, pulling away to look at you with a bright smile, the tips of his ears turning red in embarrassment. "sorry."

you only grinned and pulled him down for a quick good-luck kiss. "play hard, sunshine."

jason's nose wrinkled at the nickname. "sunshine?" he laughed. "whatever you say, beautiful."

his coach blew the whistle for the team to gather 'round, jason waving goodbye before you could answer. beautiful? how was it that he always knew the right thing to say at the right time?

you made your way to the bleachers, sitting near the front where the team's close friends (girlfriends) and family sat. the tendrils of your mind crept up your back once again as you sat near the edge. you couldn't help but feel out of place— many of them were already talking with each other, having been together for the previous years. whenever they'd lean in to giggle at something, you couldn't help but think that they were talking about you. was it because you did your makeup bad today? was your outfit wrinkled? did the wind mess up your hair? the feeling in your gut returned, more persistent than last time.

you forced a bright smile as jason ran up to you once again, a triumphant grin splitting his face. "i won for you!" as he always did. you were happy, truly, and you hoped it showed instead of the emotions you just couldn't seem to get rid of.

"i saw! you did so good, jason!"

okay... something was definitely up. usually, you'd give him a kiss as soon as he came here— where was his kiss? and why didn't your sweet smile reach your eyes? but he knew you wouldn't tell him, especially not with this many people around.

"all for you," he repeated softly, his arm wrapping around your waist as he led you out of the field. "can you come over? i feel i'm in need of your therapeutic cuddles." he looked at you out of the corner of his eye, knowing the only way him to get you in a place he was able to comfort you was by making it seem as if he needed it. because for some reason, helping came so easily to you for the sake of anyone but yourself.

"..alright." you agreed after a brief pause. "is something wrong? or are you just tired?"

ever the angel, your immediate concern was heartwarming. jason gave you a reassuring smile. "just tired."

you came out of his bathroom, changed into one of his shirts. it smelled like him, touched with sunburnt kisses. he was already in bed, half of the blanket folded open for you to slip in.

and that you did, curling up beside him as his arms wrapped you up like a gift. he buried his face into your neck, breathing deeply before he whispered, "you wanna tell me what's going on?"

you froze. how did he know? were you that obvious? you should’ve hid it better! it’s not even a big deal, he shouldn’t have to-

“you know i love you, right?” jason spoke up, interrupting your thoughts. he said it so earnestly there was no other answer but yes. so, you nodded against him.

“only you. did you know you’re my first real girlfriend?” he pulled away, a soft light dancing in his eyes.

“really?” it was a hard thing to believe. with all the girls throwing themselves at him, it would be odd for him to not like any of them. “but, you’re so.. you. you’re kind and smart and talented.. tall and handsome too..”

“well.. i wouldn’t say that…” he chuckled nervously, not expecting to be hit with the side barrage of compliments. “but look at you— you’re smart and sweet, thoughtful and considerate..” he trailed off, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. “and so, so, beautiful.” before you had a chance to doubt yourself, he leaned in and kissed your cheek, before moving his hand and doing the same with the other. soft lips moved to the tip of your nose, then up to your forehead, ending with one to your lips.

“the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen.” he looked at you with such fondness, all your thoughts disappeared, whisked away into the air.

you met his eyes, a smile starting to show. oh, how he missed it.

[redrose10]

I hope this is okay! This one was requested for Yoongi, Namjoon, or Hobi and I went with Yoongi.

#4 I should’ve told you a long time ago

#23 We have to be quiet

Warnings: Angst, swearing, Teen pregnancy

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You felt like you’d just seen a ghost. The man standing in front of you being the same man that broke your heart fifteen years ago when he decided his career was more important than you or your relationship.

“Hi Y/N, sorry to just show up announced. I was back in the area and thought I’d stop by.”, he smiled a familiar heart stopping smile.

Against your better judgement you invited him in. Once the coffee was finished brewing you put two cups down on the table before taking a seat across from him.

“Okay Yoongi, how did you find me and what do you want?”, you spat.

He was a little taken back by your cold attitude, “I got your address from Mia. I just wanted to see you. Make sure you’re doing okay. It’s been a while.” You made a mental note to scold your best friend the next time you saw her.

“Well you can see I’m okay so finish your coffee and go. I’m sure you’ve got a hotel room full of women and booze waiting for you.”

“Seriously Y/N? That’s how you’re going to talk to me? Even after all these years.”, he questioned.

After breaking up with you and once his career took off Yoongi became somewhat of a hard partying womanizer. Always being photographed with a different woman every night or stumbling out of random clubs if he wasn’t thrown out. He’s been married three times, but claims only one was legit and the other two were just drunken mistakes. Sometimes you were glad he let you go. Maybe he did you a favor after all.

“I’m sorry Yoongi. It’s just late and I’ve worked all day. I wasn’t expecting company, especially not you.”, you said.

“I understand. I won’t stay long. I just wanted to check on you and finally apologize for everything.”

Before you could respond you heard the front door open and shut and soon after your teenage daughter appeared in the kitchen.

“How was work baby?”, you asked trying to calm your nerves and appear normal.

“Ugh well I’m covered in grease and pizza sauce, but I’m another day closer to affording a car.”, she replied grabbing a drink out of the refrigerator.

“That’s right Anna. You know the deal, I’ll match however much you come up with so the more you save the better of a car you can get.”

“Alright well then get ready because I want to have a similar one to the Porsche that is currently parked in the drive way.”, she chuckled before looking at Yoongi with wide eyes.

“Anna this is an old friend of mine. His name is Yoongi. And Yoongi this is my daughter Anna.”

Yoongi curiously looked her over before giving her a wave. Anna politely said goodbye before mumbling something about needed to scrub the pizza grease off and running upstairs.

“How old is she?”, Yoongi immediately questioned.

“She is about 15 years old.”, you cringed because you already knew what he was thinking.

“Mmhm I see. And her father is…?”

You nodded, “Her father is sitting at this kitchen table right now.”

He jumped back until he was flush against the wall, “What the fuck Y/N? What the fuck? All these years? All these years and you never once thought to tell me you gave birth to our daughter? To my daughter?!”

Just as fast you ran to him placing your hand over his mouth, “We have to be quiet. She doesn’t know about you or us. Let’s go upstairs and talk.”

He nodded as you took his hand leading him towards your bedroom where you could make sure the door was closed and locked.

Once inside you heard Yoongi laugh. “What is so funny?”, you questioned.

“Oh I don’t know. I guess because the last time you snuck me up to your room it ended with you getting pregnant and me not finding out about for fifteen years.”, he hissed.

Your blood started boiling, “Look, I should’ve told you a long time ago. I admit that. But you’re the one that broke up with me without even asking what I wanted.“

“Because I wanted to protect you. I knew I couldn’t give you the relationship you deserved with how much time and energy I had to put in my music. We weren’t even adults yet. I was young and dumb and didn’t know how to handle all the changes.”

“Maybe I would’ve been okay with that. Maybe I would’ve been okay with what little you could give me instead of nothing at all.”, you whispered hearing your voice become unsteady.

Yoongi still knowing you well knew that was a telltale sign that you were about to cry so he sat down on the bed and pulled you down next to him while while running soothing circles on your back.

“Did you know you were pregnant the day I broke up with you?”, his voice cracking at the end.

Too scared to speak you nodded your head.

“So why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve taken care of you, both of you.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. After you told me that you got an offer from a record label and were moving to the city to pursue your career I didn’t want to be the reason you gave that up. You were so close to achieving your dreams and a girlfriend and a baby would have only made it harder.”

He ran his hands over his face in frustration and maybe a little anger, “Fuck Y/N, I can’t believe you’ve been doing this along all these years. How could you hide this from me?”

“It wasn’t bad. My parents helped when they could. I have friends. We’ve been doing okay.”

“She’s beautiful.”, he said after a while causing you to giggle, “Of course she is. She looks like you in a wig.”

You continued, “She’s really smart and kind. She’s so thoughtful. She has a big interest in music. Just like her father. She’s a big fan too. She’s probably freaking out in her room right now. I don’t know how she kept it together downstairs. ”

He smiled at the thought.

The room fell into an awkward silence after that.

“Well I better get back to my hotel. It’s really late. Maybe I can come back and get to know her more. If that’s okay with both of you.”, he said standing up.

“Yoongi wait!”, you leaned forward to stop him, “Um what if you spent the night? You can have breakfast with us in the morning and we can talk about everything. The three of us.”

He nodded and crawled back into bed making sure to leave a comfortable space between the two of you but reaching for your hand to let you know it’ll all work out in the end.

[sweetsirenscribbles]

Morning After

John Price x Reader

A/N: This is legit only my second fic ever. I don't have anyone to proofread, sorry for any mistakes.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Warnings: smut but not detailed, drinking, a teeny tiny bit of angst, fluff

When you woke up, you didn’t open your eyes. The sheets against your skin felt odd. Your mouth was sour, letting you know you had fallen asleep without brushing your teeth. Taking a deep breath in you stretched your limbs in the bed. You let out a satisfied groan before you realized you were completely naked. That made you stop mid-stretch and open your eyes. The room was dimly light by a floor lamp next to a chair in the corner. You didn’t recognize the lamp or the chair. As you sat up and took stock of the room you found yourself in the events of last night flood your brain. You had gone out to dinner with a friend for their birthday, but you ended up at a bar playing pool. The group had gotten nostalgic over your days as young adults with less responsibilities and better tolerance for alcohol. Which is how you ended up at the bar in the first place. You personally had only planned on staying out for a little while, but your friend had pulled the birthday card on you knowing you didn’t have any real plans the next day. While playing pool your group began chatting up the guys at the table next to yours and learned it was a group of military guys. There had been a guy who was so pretty you had initially thought he was a model. He had been introduced as Gaz. There had been a guy with a mohawk and Scottish accent who went by Soap and a man wearing a black face mask and a beanie who seemed impossibly large that Soap called Ghost. Ghost had been quiet the entire night only communicating in one word answers and grunts. Then there was John. When you had spotted him a zing had run up your spine. He had fixed his steady cerulean eyes on you when your friend had introduced you to his group. John had made a point to shake your hand during the introduction process which had caused heat to rush up your neck into you hairline. You remember hearing your friend snicker next to you while you stuttered out a greeting. The way John’s eyes crinkled around his eyes made your heart skip. You had vaguely thought the he was the only person you’d ever seen that had muttons chops that you found insanely attractive. During the course of the night you had chatted with him while you all played pool and drank. John had been surprisingly easy to talk to and you had soon found yourself chatting and exchanging flirty remarks with the man. You had planned on working up the courage to exchange numbers with him before you left. However, as you friends settled their tabs and ordered Ubers, John had asked you if you’d like to come back to his place. You’d had just enough to drink to be tipsy and agree before too much thought. You sent your friend a quick text and also starting sharing you location, because safety. Once you’d gotten to John’s house he’d pushed you against the inside of the front door and made you cum on his tongue twice before he carried you to his bedroom.

Just thinking about how things had gone down (pun intended) made your skin flush. You must have passed out at some point in the night. The man in question was not currently in the room. You get out of the bed and search for your clothes. Everything was folded neatly on the chair next to your lamp. Thankfully your phone was still in your pants pocket with 20% battery life and about ten messages from your friends asking how you tonight had gone. You dressed quickly and made your way out of the bedroom. Once you were out of the room you could smell coffee and hear movement in the kitchen. You walked down the hallway and found yourself standing in the living room. “You’re awake.” A voice called from your left. You turned to see John standing in his kitchen shirtless smiling at you softly. “Yeah, I figured I’d worn out my welcome.” You rushed, feeling only slightly embarrassed at being caught. “Oh sweetheart, you haven’t worn anything out. I think I might have worn you out last night though.” John remarked with a gleam in his eyes. Heat flushed your cheeks and ears as you opened and closed your mouth, at a loss for words. A dark chuckle rumbled through John’s chest as he made his way to where you stood. “Don’t be shy now love.” John caressed your cheek gently as he peered down into your eyes. The urge to close your eyes and lean into his hand was so strong, but you just stood and stared at him. Your heart thudded in your chest quickly. “Come on, I made us breakfast.” He dropped his hand from your face and turned back to the kitchen. 

You waffled between trying to make a break for the door and sitting down at the kitchen table. You watched John start to make two plates, before you finally walked into the kitchen with a small huff of resignation. You really liked John a lot. He seemed like a good guy, but he was career military and you were under the impression he wasn’t exactly looking for more than a fling. While you didn’t regret having sex with him, because truthfully it had been the best sex you’d ever had, you didn’t really want a situationship.

John pulled a cup out of a cabinet and turned to you. “How do you take your coffee?” He asked turning to the refrigerator. “John, this really isn’t necessary.” He turned back to you with a frown tugging at his eyebrows. “Do you prefer tea? Let me put the kettle on.” He said turning back away from you. “No. John. I mean all of this. You don’t have to feed me. I’d rather not draw this goodbye out longer than needed.” You blurted out. John took a step towards you. “What are you going on about?” He questioned with an unreadable expression. You took an uneasy step back. “T-this,” you stammered. “Who does this for a one night stand?” The edge of the table pressed into the back of your thighs. You realized then you’d been backing away from John and was now stuck between him and the kitchen table. “One night stand? Is that what you think this is?” John crossed his arms over his chest.Your eyes flickered down to take in the way his arms bulged across his hairy chest. When you meet his eyes they had a knowing gleam to them. “I mean I’d like to see you again, but I figured that with your job you wouldn’t want to.” You sputtered feeling like you were being scolded somehow. John grabbed your hand gently and brought it to his lips before softly kissing each of your knuckles. “I might have gone about things out of order, but I very much want take you out on a proper date and get to know you better. I know me being in the military isn’t ideal, but I want to try if you’re willing.” He declared staring into your eyes. His words surprised you and you couldn’t help the goofy grin that formed on your lips. “I’d like that very much actually.” You breathed out. “Good.” John mumbling staring at your lips as he leaned into your space. Your eyes fluttered shut when his lips pressed against yours delicately. John’s tongue ran along the seam of your lips. You pulled back. “John, I have really bad morning breath.” You tried to deter him. “I don’t care.” He growled before capturing your lips again. A whimper escaped your throat and John took the opportunity to tangle his tongue with yours. Your hands come up to his chest to ground yourself. The steady thump of his heart pulses where your hands rest. His hands rested on your hips as he pressed against you. You could feel his length harden when he wedged himself against you. You pull back to catch your breath. John took the opportunity to trail kisses along you jawline and neck. Before things could get more heated, your stomach takes the opportunity to voice its discomfort. John pulls back and lets out a bark of a laugh. “I suppose I should feed you first.” He says pulling a chair out for you to sit down in. “Now then sweetheart, how do you take your coffee?” 

[cutieeva]

Omg, that last fic you just wrote, omg 😭😭, I was like, wowww!! And then the end say 'to be continued', I legit just cried reading that, I need more of this please, you can't stop at that 😭 . Anyways your fic is always good and I love reading it when there is a new update 🥹

Sun

Female reader

Warnings : Love bombing. Manipulation. Bullying.

⌜Aww, thank you dearie for loving my fiction. It's warms my heart to know you enjoy and here, it is the second chapter⌟

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒

Life is full of unexpected surprises and she could had never assumed his approach in her life as well as his lies and motives. Is giving second chance to the same man broken your heart the right decision ?

Cameron and (Y/N) both went to the same high school. Separately not together. There is a vivid difference, they might shared the same high school, same year, same section even shared same desk however they never shared words let alone looks because way before they both knew they will share an romantic bond, one thing was clear to her that he was the sun and is the sun to this day. Before these university students knew him or even met him, (Y/N) recognize him just from his mere name, a name so unforgettable, so different it made people crank their neck and once look at the said boy's face to be beyond satisfied, it lure people in more than they already were like sun does and thankfully she wasn't one of them in her high school time because he didn't wanted to lure her, catch her attention. She vaguely remembers how in the class he didn't spare a glance at her as if she was never present, a ghost of once lived person that's how she was treated by Cameron unlike by other students who knew her, liked her including her friends who she had to farewell to attend in the current university she is in. It was a very bittersweet emotions, full of fear and new possibility to come and one of those possibility Cameron was never even a suspect.

The popular boy, the sun of the school also succeed becoming the heart of campus within a span of months, like each passing person wrapped around his fingers and she could see why, his personality down to earth, no necessary fights, teacher's golden boy and rarely a showoff why would he ? when his causal go to shoes, watches, dress are more than enough to recognize from one look. A independent money maker makes his own brand by money but people born with money are the brand. No in-between she believes yet she never envies or wanted it because as much as she knew money buys everything even happiness because one of the choices it buys is where happiness lies along consequences, misery, stress, fakeness so she is content with her life, walking though her major classes holding books and studying hard to pass like others, blending into faces of others and ever once catching glimpse into the heart of campus boy circled by his friend groups, all laughing, enjoying. Looking genuine picture perfect friendship she yearn back recalling her own tore friendships due to decreased calls, different schedule and distance. In here, she is a loner, studier. Well, to think of the brighter side she has her twenty-four seven hour privacy, assignments submit on time and grades better than one another and on weekends have time to spend with parents.

"Today chapter 8 will be studied.." She tailed off sitting on the first row of her classroom with few more students on their seats, her eyes focus on the chapter they will be studying which she already did and even though it went over her head, at least she is prepared however thinking of the teacher makes her regret seating on the first row. What if he asks her questions ? and embarrass her in front of everyone and be the jester of their cruel joke for a week or two until a new comes ? No, (Y/N) isn't here to be remembered so her hands jumbly grab her spread belongings and went to the last row and sit on the corner where the teacher might have problem spotting her like a shark smelling for blood because of his near-sighted vision.  

A sigh pass her lips, feeling less anxiety. Anxiety ? her mood sombre of how once people grow and shed their childhood lives into adulthood, it also earn new things like anxiety she never had before. What a life. Another sigh pass her lips.

"You are sighing a lot for someone so studious". The sound of his voice, both gentle and jarring made her jump with surprise. Her mind knew who it was to turn her head to face the Cameron she never knew would be talking to her, sparing a glance. Her wide eyes met his daze ones, his head rest on his shoulder on the desk like his sleeping was disturbed.

"I am sorry". She mumble not knowing why she had.

"It's okay, so ?" A yawn escape his lips.

"So ?" Her voice quiet yet the room quieter she was afraid her heart racing could be heard. It was his time to sigh now, slowly sitting up only to lean back in his chair.

"Why did you come from the front to back ?" His gaze lazy and voice husky.

"I thought you were sleeping". Her words escape more than she could allow.

"I was not, only laying". He shrug his shoulders. "Resting". Tiredly he announced making her head nod. "So ?" (Y/N) gulp, licking her lips, suddenly a stranger to talks perhaps the person not be the heart of campus without difficulty she would answer.

"I was scared for the professor to ask me question and I do not want to be embarrassed by not knowing the answer". She doesn't know if his constant nods were for understanding or a show.

"So, even a studious person is fearful ?" A smile tug his lips like the tugs inside her heart. Did she never notice how handsome he is while smiling. Wait, her mind pause for a second questioning how he knew of her existence, yes at first she notice the word but repeating it makes him appear he knows her.

"How do you know I am studious ?" Was the question inappropriate ? laughable ? because why is he chuckling like she said a joke ? maybe he notice her confusion too for him to cough and hide the unhidden blooming smile.

"Everybody knows you. Yes, you think cool kids are popular". His both hand's fingers quote. "But smart kids are also known, where you also fall in that". Oh. Really ? then why no one forward a hand to be her friend she desire to ask but refrained.

"Okay". At her quiet voice he nod his head and her eyes concentrate back to the chapter she left earlier, feeling her skin burn under his gaze. For the entire time until professor Martin came did she felt relief to breath after his watchful gaze was taken off, gulping hard and head decking a little to not caught the professor's eye.

"Good morning class, let's start the new chapter, shall we ?" The students clearly with lack of energy spoke yes in unison satisfying the professor who's eyes scan the page for a minute.

"Here it comes". Her fingers cross, heart ratting against her cage.

"Because this chapter is almost like a squeal of before chapter, how about I ask how much you remember chapter 7 ?" a sadistic smile appear on his lips with his eyes searching a prey to relief his stess of personal life. "Hey you !" His finger pointed to her and her heart paused, breath halted and soul whisk outside of body.

"Yes ! You boy". Huh ? Her eyes narrow slightly realizing the finger is actually pointed to Cameron, not her. How grateful to god she is biting back a smile yet feeling sympathy for him. Cameron smile standing up.

"Explain your feeling of this art movement". The professor asked pointing to the art display on the huge projector. (Y/N) saw the painting and her curious mind desire to know his answer.

Confidently Cameron spoke "It's a revolutionary paradigm shift, sir! It'll unlock the secrets of the human psyche, tap into our collective unconscious, and reveal the meaning of life!" Her jaw dropped and the professor's harden.

"What !" Her eyes stare at his side face.

"It's a style of wallpaper design from the 1970s. You've been reading too much into the patterns". Dryly Martin said. "I asked your feelings about the painting not analysis". The silent class bust out into laughter yet (Y/N)'s ears notice the laughs aren't biting, harsh, even mocking rather the opposite she experienced with her friends if she said a dad joke. A mellow comforting it was just like he is, smiling sheepily as if he isn't even ashamed.

"Mr. Clerk—".

"You know me sir ?" A forced sigh left the professor being cut off.

"Do. Not. Dare. Cut. Me. Off". Slowly he warned, his lips curving to the letters like he wants to slap the young lad with it causing Cameron comically make a zip his lips only to increase the laughter from the students. "Also in collage here is no student or teacher not heard of you".

Professor glaring directly. "So, Mr. Clerk, may I know why a business student is in my art class ? It's a far different class to be lost". Bemused his voice was. Right, (Y/N) realize how never did she met him so close before because their majors are completely different.

Her eyes slide up to flinch meeting his.

"He is staring at me". A strange sensation slit her body inside. The bright blazing eyes of his bored into without the intention of looking away.

The aged voice clearly losing thread of patience. "Mr. Clark, eyes on me". She look down in fear of getting caught.

"Think of it to study with my crush". Her heart skip a beat feeling his eyes still heat her skin abnormally. "Sir". He added finally taking the gaze to the aged man.

Groaning the teacher. "Make sure to not fail". Defeated the older man roll his eyes knowing serious answer won't be earned out of him. Or was it really a serious answer (Y/N) wondered for some reason glancing to see him sit before averting to resume her study like the teacher.

As usual her mind focus, eyes on information to soak and finger holding pen to copy any important notes however what unusual she feels is his occasional asking questions of few things. How distant was she to forget the interaction with strangers ? Or maybe his presence cause her react differently.

Watching his polite, humble and funny side from so close, so near she almost felt she could see the sun directly without being blind as writing a tiny smile curve to her lips having someone beside her, not alone.

"Okay then, see you tomorrow". The professor left holding his belongings looking as if he fought a war and (Y/N)  strech her stiff shoulders and begin packing when a figure towered over her in front of her desk. From below her (E/C) eyes saw the familar black shirt he wore with jacket.

"What is your name ?" Her hands halted as her eyes look at him through her lashes.

"Why you ask ?" She returned with an question.

"Because I want to ask you a favor".

"What is it ?"

"Well, I want to do arts and I am terrible at it knowing my course is business but you know, there is a thing called burned out ? So I wanna try something new yet need a person to help me...". He tailed off, gazing sideways himself and he didn't need to finish when it reach her.

He needs her to be his tutor.

"I am average myself. You should ask the top student". She suggested, zip the chain with a click.

"But I am comfortable with you only". He blurt her and stole her breath. "Also I saw you today, your skills are good, really good". He awkwardly compliment, smiling as he himself, the campus of the heart is shy. How strange, She thought seeing a side she never knew would be towards her.

"Okay". She agree not seeing any reasons not to unaware along opening the gates of her life, she opened her heart too.

They exchange numbers and decide to study at liberty checking their schedule and part ways. Her mood was cherrier, happier feeling a step closer being with someone, knowing a new person regardless of their popularity walking through the halls to reach her next session.

BANG !

Her heart jumped on her throat despite used to hear them everyday, the vivid jerking, banging was usual, a daily occurrence she wish wasn't. Her (E/C) eyes went to the owner of the sound— four boys surround another boy slamming his body like a ragdoll to the metal bars, depriving pleasure from the boy who's blood trickle from his forehead painting a gut-wrenching scene she was forced to look away, walking without a second thought, like a coward, an accomplish.

But what could she do ? she won't be the first to complaint, forward a hand and become next target of the gang, the leader— Adrien, his face flash her mind, sending a sour taste on her lips knowing the information he is one of the many friends of Cameron. Despite never involving with the bullying himself, he never stood to retaliate either however then again the bullying never happen in his prescene always his lack of.

"Was it good to be closer to him ?" Hate the sin, never the sinner. A saying her mother speak frequently which she disagree with also in this case Cameron isn't even the sinner so pushing him, judging him without knowing him isn't it harsh ? Stop. Stop. focus on study. She remind to divert from a dilemma that isn't even hers to choose.

The next classes were at ease as she focus on her studies and went to home only to receive a text message from him reminding her of their beginning of the sessions. A nervous shudder pass her spine and doubts creeping her whether she will reach his expectation making her study extra hard not to disappoint.

Day 1

She smiling, held her book tightly to her chest walk to her period. Her eyes glance at the window to stare at the burning sun and suddenly she thought "How pretty it is". Before flinching.

A deafening unpleasant noise shudder her body as she stop in her tracks. She open her eyes daring to look at the direction of the noise she knew was their bullying however she stopped herself. It's none of her business and she rather like not getting involved walked away as always, this time gulit worse because she feels like a remorseless person left without sparing a glance. Cruel. Cruel and selfish she is so are others she felt.

"It's okay. Study". Convincing herself mentally she went inside the class drowning in studies and like a cool breeze of summer time pass along classes when she stretch her hands finally catching a break when a notification catch her attention.

"Could you meet now to study ?" She didn't had to look who and beyond happiness she collect her belongings walking to the library after typing "Yes". And there she found him sitting turning the white pages of book by his slender pale fingers. The sun's ray behind him like a halo of angel glowed him and in the bluest sky of white birds flew above his head he looked nothing less than a dream, a beautiful dream her heart strings tug hard and fingers twitch to capture the heavenly moment.

"How beautiful he is". For a motal daring to merely look at the sun is a blessing she felt. Unaware it burns those same eyes too. Naïve little girl she could hear her grandmother scold. Beautiful faces have the most wicked hearts a saying her grandmother learnt and passed to her who ignored walking near him and sat earning those onyx eyes on her and a grin on his lips.

"Shall we start ?" She nod happily, teaching him the best she can, answering his each question patiently, clearly even sometimes using visuals to understand the topic more clearly and like a good guy he is, nod, doing as he is told, correcting his mistakes with apologizes and thinking with his brain not his ego. Slipping some compliments too pulling small smiles and chuckle out of her.

Their study session was at ease the buzz of time limit alarmed her because the ticks of clock melt like water in their moments she couldn't realize how much time pass. Seem it surprise even him.

"See, I told you. I am comfortable with you". Grinning he proved a point she didn't even considered.

"I can see". Smiling, her finger pad press the red circle of stop on the alarm. "Also for a beginner you are great. Beyond average". Honestly she said, a lace of envy hidden underneath. How could it not when a beginner like him is better than she was sinking another realization how some people are born genius, exceptional to ace anything.

"No, nothing like that". He was quick to shut the praises, his brows furrow so is hers. She tilt her head.

"Why ? It's brilliant". His shinning onyx eyes bore into hers.

"It's alright". He shrug, still denying the great art he done. A art better than most of her art peers.

"Well.." Biting her lips, her fingers took the sheet of paper. "Yes, it's alright than most of the seasoned artist including me but look at the way you draw it in your first time with the lighting, shading, coloring. I think it's marvelous". She look at him and his thin pressed lips bust out laughing. She remained pluzzed.

He laughs a lot she notice and it was comforting like the rays of sun touching the skin when it's setting down at sunset.

"Alright to others...." In between the soft words slip, laughing before glancing to her. "Thank you. You are funny". She is ? For the first time someone said it to her, even her friends of previous high school do not consider her the clown of their group, she was always the silent type of the group. Well, some people just appear different to other eyes she assume.

"Welcome and thank you". Wider her smile become only to turn pale remembering she is late to her class. "Oh shit !" Grabbing her things she stood up. "I am sorry, goona go". He laughing nod, waving byes. Looking amused.

Day 2

"Sorry, I am late". Panting puff of her heavy breath, she sat down. Rubbing her eyes a little.

"Why ? Chased by a tiger perhaps ?" Her weighted sleepy eyes awaken and hands halted. She look at her him and he smile wider. "Joking. It's to make people laugh". Mellow his laugh vibrate at his own sillyness. Never knew joke was part of his self. Then again she know nothing about him other than at passing glances. Somehow that meaningless moment to him was a flutter to her heart because she was learning about him.

The sleep from her eyes vanish and with sweet feeling she begin forgetting how sour her day was, waking up late due to her alarm clock's battery low and coming to class late and be center of attention of teacher's scornful eyes and almost fell asleep again when the class ended slip away the thought of their session. Like a candy he was, with one taste on her lips the more she savored the tiny thing the sweeter it taste to fresh her mind.

They begin studying and as usual the time melt in back as the pair focus on the important things. With him studying never felt like a chore rather a favorite time of her day where she could share her ideas, methods to someone at the end of day where the other would genuinely listen and he does. Soak her methods and appreciate her.

"So if you ever want to do the shading good you have to—".

Please please please don't prove I'm right ! Please please please don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nic—

SLAM ! Closing her eyes in embrassment she shut the phone down and open to see him hiding his same smile.

"I forget to silent my phone". Sweating nervously, she blurt out, glancing to other few students who seem to be in their little bubble and she silently curse to not make the same mistake she once did. Quickly she message her mother who's personally she tune the song for that she will talk late. She is busy.

"Okay ! So where we were..." Tailling she avert her eyes to meet his despite feeling the weight on her self.

"You like Sabrina Carpenter ?" She wince not wanting to recall the moment ago mistake. Blush red her skin, she knows she is overreacting yet little moments like this keep her awake at darkest of night.

"Can we—".

"It's okay. I am just asking". He pursed his lips. "Because of her sudden hype ?" He cleared his throat, genuine interested in her answer.

"No !" Too eager she deny.

"Then ?" Cameron push a little.

"Well, I liked her for a long time. From the song feather". Expect honesty her whisper voice said.

"And I from nonsense". Drop ! The casualty of his unfolding another part of himself was surprising that she turn to look at him shock.

"O my god ! I never thought you would also know her from that time !"

"Common than you know, like finding people with similar likings".

"Yes ! But not from you" Shit ! Her hands clasp on her lips little late than the words escape causing the tables to turn and his eyes to suddenly wide.

"Really ? Am I that uncool and unapproachable ?" Hint of offense lace in his voice she couldn't hide her blossoming smile. "Wow ! What a girl, you are laughing at me now". Scoffing Cameron playfully glare at her wider her smile too much than her comfort.

"Sorry, I am sorry". Snort overshadowed her apologies that he scoff louder. Not out of offense rather at fun. She shuffle her laugh a little well. "I am genuinely sorry". With her best thin pressed lips she said.

"Are you ?" Skeptical he narrow his eyes.

"No". She bust out laughing so does he. She is laughing a lot she felt, he is contagious she thought. His habit clinging to her. Not good for her heart as she mute her laugh at best.

"It's okay I was joking. I like your laugh". Her heart skip a beat and the blush deepen. Not good for her heart indeed.

Day 3

"I am thinking nightcore should be popular again". Out of blue he commented, the back of his pen within his fingers poke his pink lips.

"Huh ?" She tilt her head, coloring the shade without glancing she could feel his gaze rest on her. Out of blue he likes to say the most random things she ever known. Another unknowm part of his she entered.

"Yes, because I was listening the mix nightcore songs named six pills and seven days by Rosendale". She pause. Look up at him.

"O my god ! He is such a underrated star ! I love his the rose and the king song". Cameron sit straight, a habit she observed when he found something interesting.

"I too ! I like his the neighbors. The way he makes stories turn into songs it just amazing ! He has a talent and need recognization". (Y/N) truly believed that thought.

"Also I do agree your thinking of nightcore needs popularity because you heard the male nightcore version of alibi by underdogs". Cameron shake his head. He didn't and with pleasure she pick her phone that is on silent mode and put the song.

Her fingers then gave him the otherside of earbuds to listen and he took it, his onxy eyes stare at the thumbnail a little. A smirk lift his lips.

"You sure, you didn't click the video by the image of geto from jjk ?" His eyebrows raise at her pause before connecting their eyes.

"Yes, so what ? I am just a girl". Puff her chest she said, pat twice on her chest he flicker his eyes at to her face. Snicker he listen to the song, drawing his heart out and on the other end of earbuds she finish her unfinished works. Both basking at one another's presence. The sunset outside with birds was pretty too.

Day 4

"Class, tomorrow the test results will be in your hands ! Hopefully you all have done well". Professor Martin said, holding the bunch of white sheets and leaving groaning and sighing students behind.

A sigh came to his ear. Cameron turn his head to his seatmate. (Y/N) who is on her shoulder rest her head. At the verge of tears.

"What happen ? Not good ?" She shake her head in his confusion. "Then ? Extremely bad ?" She shake her head again to further puzzle him. "Then ?"

"It was good, great actually ?" He nod, a sign to continue. "And that's worrisome ! Because how can all the questions answer can I know ? There must be few where or many where I will be found wrong ! There is no way I found all the questions revisioned !". A chortle pass his lips as he rest on his shoulder too, facing her on the desk.

"(Y/N), that only means you were brilliant. Not that deep". Soft the edges of his eyes become, staring at her and for some reason a bubble of their own little world came to her, washing away others behind leaving only him and her. Them alone.

His eyes on hers and heat of their hands brushing against each other and knees touch a little. They are close she felt. Closer to where she felt to call him as her friend yet her cowardness was bigger than her courage to say out loud. She was afraid of rejection, deathly afraid. The reason why she never forward hand of friendnship to others first in fear of rejection or played. So, clearing her throat, ripping the tight silent air she sat up, rubbing her lips together.

"Would you like to go to a cafe ?" Breathing she meet his daze onyx, unfear of anything as he layed on the desk. "With me ?" It took her a back at his sudden proposal.

"Why ?" Her voice quiet.

"Because I want to". His simply words assure her afraid heart.

"When ?" Still averting eyes he manage to surprise her.

"Right now".

"Right now ?" Her words louder she quickly dart her sight to find no one. "So suddenly ?" She felt strange. A little funny inside her stomach.

"As I said, because I want to". He sit up. "So will you ?"

"Yes". (Y/N) agreed finding herself few minutes later at a little serene and cushy cafe. Few people drink away their peace, spending their time either in alone or sharing with another. Waiters with genuine smiles serve the orders, enjoying their lives too.

"So how are you liking it ?" His words snap her from her trance, tearing her eyes to look further and focus on him.

"Wonderful. Better than I expected". Truly she expected to be uncomfortable at a bustling or expensive cafe instead of a little cafe like this turn reality from children's fairytale. She didn't even know let alone pass a cafe called 'cutieeva'. Truly a befitting name for the sweetness.

"Glad to know that I did not disappoint you". He sip the drink he order and (Y/N) did too, fond of the aroma and the drink too much. Perfect after a stressful day. "Perfect after a stressful day isn't it ?" Like a magician he said her thoughts out loud. Wide her eyes slightly.

"Yes". Thoughtlessly she said yes, one sip of the drink when a thought pass her mind. A thought she desired to say yet afraid to be false.

"Did you choose it for...." She crease her voice. "me ?" She finished with a breath.

"Yes". His eyes on the tea. "I thought to see you not have winkles on your forehead sooner that's why I brought you here". The little thought touch her body to warm her even in the cloudy whether. To stranger she was, one of the million to him yet he cared of her mind more like a friend. She couldn't help feel special. His kindness win her trust little by little.

Day 5

SLAP !

The noise never fails to fuel her gulit and darkness little by little. Blaming her a part that it was her fault the poor boy was still receiving bullyin— no the word isn't severe enough. Abuse and violence he was getting. Why ? All because one person wants to vent on a living being, the weakest of the group. Her eyes dare look at him. The bloody face, painted in red. Drenched in strench. Plant in shame and laughed in misery. An unfair game it was. Adrien had no right to toy with someone's life, emotions, body. It simply shows he is the weakest of the group. People who can't control their immature feelings. People who toy with others are the worst and they are better off dead she believes because a human heart is fragile even though the thing stays inside hard bones of cage if hit too many times even the hardest cages break to be too late to save.

So, decide to be a braver person, better version of herself she find a white untained napkin in her bag. One step she took, the painful groan fill her ears.

Two steps. Their mocking laughs surround her vision.

Three steps. His face slammed on the metal like a bull.

Four steps. "(Y/N) !" A loud yell of her name tear her head to the direction. The voice of the owner was Cameron. The boy she never thought call her name out in front of all. Because their meetings kept within the walls of library and little glances exchange when met in passing each other. Never did one of them step forward to knowledge the other until now. It surprise her, she will be honest and the others too because Adrian's eyes on her now, a wicked smirk playing on his lips and those knowing eyes seem so odd, wrong.

"(Y/N), I was hoping would you like to go to cafe with me today ?" His proposal taken her a back again, a minute ago when their session finished not a word he utter and suddenly he says misleading words in front of others.

"Uh—". Too aware of scornful eyes of thousand, hush whispers and the light tower over her was so sudden she felt awkward, out of place. Still she said "Okay". Rejecting him in the spotlight would bruise his heart she knew was kind and soft also she adores his gentleman presence.

"Let's go then". Placing a hand behind her back (Y/N) felt was a gesture of comfort. They about to walk away.

A whistle made her turn her head not his. He kept his head straight. "Cameron forget our hangout ?" Another of his friend beside Adrian grin, too wide to be friendly yet too happy to be not. They were all too happy, she felt confusion not shy like she should because it remind her of her friendship where if her crush came near her, the other girls giggles, laugh and create all sorts of silly sounds. That was endearing not this, it felt like a insider joke she wasn't welcome.

But is it even a joke when Cameron wasn't laughing, his face serious. The first time she saw this face in her prescene so unlike of the happy, goofy ones. "I am not going". No looking back he walked, pressing his hand on her back to drag her feet away too.

"Dude ! Enjoy your date". The sentence made her blush yet the biting laugh wince her for some reason. Something feels unreal, wrong. She can't bring to put her finger on.

A nervous laugh she let out to break the tension. "They are funny". It seems to work, because a grin break out.

"They sure are". So he does love his friends, because he won't say that otherwise. They both reach the same cafe, sitting opposite of each other, sipping their drinks.

Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat.

The sounds of water always awaken a happiness within her. The louder the drops hitting the ground, the harder she could laugh, the harsher waters fall the smoother she felt. Perhaps this sterms from her naïve thought that even cloudes need to cry sometimes and that comfort her. That she wasn't alone, the sadness of clouds were there for her. Crying alongside her or simply crying to her, drowning the road away.

"Shall we leave then ?" The cup cleaned empty from how delicious it was and Cameron who always silly, goofy seem gloomy and silent. Maybe cloudy weather didn't comfort him, sunny must do because he looks alive on those days. Happy and charming as if even the sun was glowing for him.

"I would like to stay for few minutes". Tender at the edge his voice was, place the porcelain cup with a light click and continue to stare at the empty cup like thoughts minging inside him.

His face shadowed and the mute colors of the cloudes hid the sun away completely, turning the roads slippery with it's sadness. He looks sad. She thought and for the first time she realize how she comes to not like the rainy day, blaming it for him. When a idea plant in her head convincing her to stand up and go near the waiter.

Cameron for some reason can't stop lowering his gaze. From confusion or hatred he is unaware but he prefers to not meet her warm (E/C) eyes. Those intelligent and honest mirror of hers. The shade of her eyes unconsciously come to be his favorite. "Here". A little shuffle of plastic pass his ears and a cream white bun wrapped in a plastic came to his sight.

"Eat it. Whenever I feel sad. I always eat it, makes me happy. Eating food is a way to relieve stress for me". (Y/N) smiling ear to ear gave him, sit beside him for a support she knew was never said.

Hmm ? Tilt his head, Cameron hold the bun and he look at her finally meeting those very same eyes his heart skip beats for, race fast and he felt like falling in love again. Rainy days never made for him yet the drops of water seem serene with her.

His hand touch her hand, intertwining like pieces of puzzle. Her breath hitched. Intimate the touch felt and caress of his thumb seem an unspoken approval. Her eyes flicker to his lips to his clear eyes where her own self seem far beautiful than she was, as if looking at herself from his view where she is most beautiful of all. The onyx eyes drop to her lips and stayed, her lips part a little and suddenly she felt dry.

Doubts creep in the back of her mind. This is not what she precieve, right ? His face lean a little, the warmth of his hand overshadow the coldness of the rainy breeze. He rest his forehead on hers and gosh, the people, whispers, droplets of rain all went in vain, white noise. She suck her breath, a knot in her throat and funny her stomach felt not knowing what to do. First time she is closer to a boy before in her high school, or middle school only limited to lacing hands.

Does she want it ? The kiss ? He lean more, chocolate breath of his coffee caress her gently and she close her eyes. Scared and uncertain. The knot of her throat more tighten and the funny in her stomach vanish leaving her stomach empty.

His lips about to touch, his warmth about to spread on her lips too when CLASP ! (Y/N) flinch, fear her life turn away and find a waiter accidentally break a glass. Heart racing inside her cage so fast she is afraid it might break out and the knot in her throat become lighter and doubts flee away.

Quitely she dare look at him through her lashes and breath hitched to find him stare her already. Pulses of her beat race faster and before her heart could bust bloody she stood up. "A-actually I reme-mber I have something to do". Stuttering she took her belongings, lay her payment of order and left without hearing his reply. Too afraid, too awkward to hear anything.

Day 6

"He's late". Sitting alone at their library, waiting for him was scary because of how unknown she is to his feelings. She knew him only for days to know if he cross the boundary in heat of moment or genuinely like her in that way. A way she is unsure if she feels the same but if she didn't why let him kiss her ? Strange confusion is feeling. Uncertain both his returning and her feelings.

Leaning back on the chair, peeking at the open window to see the cloudy weather cowering the sun makes her heart ache a little. She liked the warmth of the sun, it's ray kissing her skin and light to her sight. How odd once a rainy lover comes to love the sun too ? Suddenly buzz of her phone startled her realizing their session end and her next period is about to begin.

(Y/N) curl her fingers to fist, dugging crescent moons on her palm. At least the physical pain will divert her from the doubts of him ran away. That he toss her, threw her like a used person or became a coward person to go hiding after attempt to kiss her. She doesn't know which is worse. Perhaps the latter because at least her heart rest to know he liked her enough to try kiss her not for fun.

She waited few more minutes. Watching the clouds thunder.

More minutes to watch the thunders turn to small droplets of rain.

More minutes for the cloudy to cry finally. Rain heavy to soak the earth with it's sadness.

"It's time". She decided glancing at the time. She risked to almost miss her class and now if she hurry enough her class won't be miss so she grab her belongings with reluctant.

TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.

Following loud sounds of footsteps did her (E/C) eyes saw Cameron standing. Panting his breath and little soaked at the sleeve and shoes holding a small bouquet of flower.

"I am sorry. I am late. I miscalculated that how long my class held me so when I went to buy flowers, almost all the shops near were closed so when I went to far I didn't knew what time pass". (Y/N) saw his eyes averting at every second and blush red his ears as his hand forward the daisy in his hand. A symbol of first love for a girl she read one time.

"The reason I went to buy flowers because I want you to be my girlfriend and flowers were my first thought to propose with". Shy his voice was and gaze lowering so many often times she fears he will never look again.

Joyful laughter spread across the empty library causing the boy to look up and met with the scene he almost felt his heart stop. Her lips wide in happiness escaping sounds of joy and eyes almost close in bliss behind her the sounds of rain melt like an painting he swears she is the most beautiful girl.

"I would love to be your girlfriend". Smiling so wide her apple of cheeks hurt she strench her hand to accept the flower when yelp pass her lips and eyes wide feeling his fingers circle around her wrist, pull her to collid the lips they couldn't yesterday. A satisfied sigh left his lips while (Y/N) pause.

A furrow in her brows came when his tongue part her lips to slip and move their lips together, in a rhythm like a melody of a beautiful song that is only made for them. He tastes like chocolate she notice. He taste good, smell good with rain however a sense of unease silt her stomach as his lips hungrier, greedier and pulling their breaths closer than more possible. The soft kiss melt into desire with their teeth mingling and his tongue exploring her flesh, sucking and licking all inside she felt she suffocated and in split of desperation she pushed him, sucking breath to her lungs.

Cameron panting to breath whisper "I am sorry". Holding her body and resting his face to her crook of neck.

"It's okay". She wondered if all first kiss were this passionate and the fairytale kisses were lies.

"Is your class starting now ?" He stare at her. "Are you free ?" The hopefulness in his voice melt her heart that changed even her mind.

As something told her utter out the words she never knew would be uttering. "I do not have any". The smile in his lips was enough to satisfy the lie. A lie she didn't regret telling.

Day 7

"I was wondering something—". Sitting beside each other. (Y/N) continue to say. "—at our first day when professor Martin asked why were you there and you answered to study with your crush. Was that a lie ?" Or truth she left unspoken, fear to be false. His hand on her waist caressing.

"What do you think ?" He returned with a question, she narrowed her eyes playfully as he tenderly smile more.

"Lie ?" She wished for him to correct her.

"Yes. It was". He spoke hiding his face on her neck. Peppering small kisses. She bite her lips and curl her fingers in tense of the sudden affections but she question if he is telling her the truth.

Lost in thoughts she felt him kiss on her neck tailing to her chin and to her lips finally. She pulled away laughing learning how touchy he is. "You are clingy". A little intense too. He laughs.

"How can I not be when I have the girl I like in my arms ?" Flirtatious words deepen her tone of blush very much to the strawberry Cameron likes to eat.

"What a flirt". Pushing him away to have space she lean on the chair. The libray is empty and a relive fill her because she wish no one to see her like this.

"Cameron, What are you doing ?" Adrien voice stuck her in her root. Many other footsteps close the gap when they come from her behind.

"Hey !" He greet her and (Y/N) didn't spoke a word, keeping her eyes on Cameron. She hates violent people and he is one.

"What are you doing buddy ?" Another of his friend, William asked, darting his blue eyes between the couple.

"Date with your girl perhaps ?" Giggling the red haired girl said, Harper.

(Y/N) thought for a second whether their relationship is secret or not and she definitely wanted the latter because relationships are meant to be open and they are in collage so it shouldn't be a problem.

"Yes, I am his girlfriend. Nice to meet you". She said noticing how he is not introducing her nor laughing like he does. He is looking grim.

"Oh ! Girlfriend ?" William smirk, the snicker made her discomfort for some reason. "Nice to meet you too". He forward his hand to shake but Cameron slap it away.

"We will be going". He commented, taking her hand to drag her away from the group. From behind (Y/N) heard the laughter increase and she felt weird. Shouldn't they be upset instead of laughing ? And why is he dragging her away ? Was their relationship meant to be secret ? Is he angry ? Was she wrong to say out loud their love for each other.

"Cameron.." She stopped, that face. The same shadowed face scare her, afraid to snap him. His jaw clench, lips pressed thin and eyes clouded with unknown thoughts. He looks scary. She didn't ask at the end.

Day 8

Life in collage after having a boyfriend didn't change much. The same mundane early mornings, walking through the hallway to classes save for the open abuse. She wonder did Adrian got bored and toss him away, she hopes so for the boy's health going on her day to study. The another change was their meeting at library isn't for study solely rather to spend sweet little time where he is as intense and touchy. Bathing her in pure hearts, bringing foods to fill her hungry stomach, whispering flirtous words.

He is the perfect boyfriend she ever dreamed of. The perfection of the sun she fell for. She is more than happy to do the same that's why she remembers his favorite foods, surprise him with little token of loves, share interest together. Not a single second of their share time was bitter or sour. It was fill with such sweetness a candy couldn't even satisfy now.

She happily even told her parents who were elected to see their daughter dating a good man from the praises she sang of him and they are too happy to meet him if possible which Cameron says he will meet when the right time comes.

"Three".

"Two".

"One !" (Y/N) felt a surge of relieve seeing Cameron came right at time before professor could enter. She wave her hand a little to help him spot her where he smiles and sat next to her.

"Hi". He greets her putting his bag back on the side.

"Hi". She greets him back, smiling in adoration.

"Cinderella".

"Aren't they are the Cinderella couple ?"

"O my god ! That's so cool ! I root for her".

"Shut up ! It's not that serious dating, you idiot !"

"Yes, they aren't actually dating".

Cinderella. (Y/N)'s favorite Disney princess because of how Ella, the real name of her was full of kindness and silent resilient. So, after dating Cameron their relationship slammed into Cinderella felt more like a mock to her.

"What's wrong with people". She roll her eyes thinking are these students from middle school ? Calling a couple Cinderella simple based for the fact they see Cameron as a prince and her a pleasant. (Y/N) wasn't from a poor family, her family fairly wealthy than middle class and they were normal couple. The whispers of the name always follows her.

"It's okay (Y/N), do not pay attention". Calmly his palm pat on her back, meeting her eyes to smile and she returned in a smaller one. She knew Cameron hated it and their dating became so public after they met his friend group yesterday. The one to sprinkle gossip. Talk about rudness yet a relive met her mind at Cameron's openness about their relationship.

Professor entered the class and (Y/N) couldn't help but sneak her hand under his to touch and Cameron glance at her, a twitch on his lips before intertwining to her surprise. A smile couldn't stop blossoming as she lean and rest her body to him peeking to find a smile on his too.

Day 9

"Cameron, you know that I like you for you not for the gifts you give me everyday". Leaving a exhausted sigh she look at the fourth gift of their short relationship. A golden ring for her pinky finger and as much as it's endearing to see it's burdening as she was gifted unwanted and not needed things.

"But I like to seeing you in my things". Lifting the smile she comes to adore he hold the tiny ring and pull her closer to kiss, a slow and soft kiss. A kiss she prefers than those passionate ones when a grasp part her mouth and (Y/N) broke to find him slide the ring on her finger already.

Playfully she glare at him to return with cute scrunch on his face. "Such a silly fox". A fox she is not afraid to love.

Day 10

"Cameron". Gently her (E/C) eyes finds his, "Don't. Not in the library". Stern her voice she push the needy boy to complete the assignment last minute before summiting.

"Cameron !" Yet here he goes again, dragging the wooden chair, screeching the legs of wood against the floor to hold her waist and pepper kisses over her neck to cheek.

Discomfort churn her stomach and fear threat to discover by someone she quickly scan for any yet finding none didn't melt the unwanted touches. "Cameron, please not outside. Not public". Like a exhausted parent she glare at him, their discussion of her not finding comfort in public touch has been talked however he seems to can't keep his hands.

"How can I control ?—" Before any sweet words win her.

"You can control. You just don't". Smiling she spare one look to soak in her work feeling his shoulder slump and in defeat to only lean on her body. The sight of golden bracelet remind her of his another gift today. Giggily telling her it suits her.

In silence she wrote the lines her mind commands listening to the seren breathing of her boyfriend beside. "Hey !" Her pen pause and she look to met Walliam, one of the familiar faces. "Dating in secrecy ?" Amused he let out, eyeing the pair.

She felt Cameron sitting straight, the humor dissolved into seriousness she couldn't fathom.

"Leave". One word and a mystic glint flash in William's eyes.

"Why ?" Challenged he raise his eyebrow and (Y/N) see the palpable tension she wanted to question suddenly because she notice too frequently how the cryptics words exchange in their talks confuse her and when she tries to join, she was quickly pushed aside with a brush. It pained her as a part of her wants to befriend or at least know them.

Another fact that didn't change ick her is she still felt like a outsider to the group and a loner. The laugh—

"Fine. Dude, keep your girl". Snicker he break the tight eye-contact to gaze upon her only to laugh, the laugh she was thinking. A laugh biting and mysterious. They always do whether she merely pass by them or few times wave her hand in courtesy. For odd reason it unnerved her because if bunch of people laugh at one with no known humor in context is strange.

They are strange. The image of their perfect friendship seems to distort a little and Cameron does not seem to tell her.

"Do you like them ?" He look at her sudden question, seeing him leave. "You do not look happy to face them anymore". Her eyes wasn't blind, she never saw him with humor when they face.

"I do like them. It just..." He tailed off, his eyes low and voice sounds distant. "—complicated". Wanting to ask more to bear even a slight of his burden on her shoulder as well. She part her lips.

"Your homework is completed right ?" He quickly smiled, lit up to kiss her swallowing her words inside and she let him dislike to ruin the happiness.

Despite being discomfort to kiss in public.

Day 11

"I know. I know we are only dating for few weeks now. Or more like days but—". Her words halted keeping her doubts at bay to talk straight. "—I am very close with my family. We always talk about crushes, love very freely. My parents even says that loving someone shouldn't feel wrong if both parties are adult and consenting so from very young age I always shares my crushes and few boyfriends to my family who met them to know if the boy is safe for me to date—". She look at those unreadable eyes. "—you know not dating me for bad intentions". He nod and she isn't sure from his blank expression what displeasing thoughts were running in his head. She bite her lips, perhaps pressuring him was a bad idea after all. His comfort comes first.

"I am sorry. You don't have to meet them if you don't want to". She added, sitting silently on his bed in his dorm room and look down almost regretting everything when heels of chair screech across the floor and her sight meet his legs and his hand wrap her wrist and pull her to his lap.

She yelped at the unexpected action, her toes curl a little. He grin. "You know you look like an scared rabbit ?" Cooing her, he lean to kiss the corner of lips, fluttering the butterflies in her stomach. His petal lips light kiss on her lips before turn her body a little to press her against his body.

Her breath hitched, her breast touch his chest and nervousness spread her. It is her another time such close range to a boy and the way his kisses tail on her jaw to her collarbone while those charcoal eyes directly gaze her awaken heat under her skin.

She grasp his sleeves and lean away a little. "Not here. I am not ready". Truthfully she says.

"Why ?" His brows furrow. "Do not worry I will meet your parents. Sooner or later". His smile lift the sensual air, sliding his hand on her back in smoothing manner. "It's alright. Nothing will happen". His hushed voice assure her. She rest her head on his shoulder. Little guilty for stopping him but she doesn't want to be rash for his need. They have rest of their lives to wait. Or at least that's what she thought.

"By the way, be ready. I am taking you to date". (Y/N) smiles, nodding letting his touch stay.

Day 12

"That date was magical". She thought walking to the gates of university when her eyes caught the sight of a small flower shop and his proposal with flowers flash across her mind. "Why not I give him a flower now ?" The idea opened the doors of his surprise expressions so immediately glancing at her phone for the time realizing she has no period pick her pace to the shop.

She choose the simplest. White roses represent pure love, hope and new beginning, the definition of their relationship. Isn't it ideal ? Sniffing the crisp and clean scent remind her of his musky and traditional ones. Closing her eyes in bliss she begin thinking the path to the business hallway to surprise him with flowers. Of course in secret not in front of all.

Holding the little bouquet of white roses she peek to the windows of classes finding him at none. Confusion sink a little.

"I miss my boyfriend". One of the passing girl thoughtlessly shared.

"Your boyfriend William ? Where is he ?" Her assumed friend asked.

"Of course with his friends at the esport facility". The girl replied, sounding upset yet (Y/N) ears perk at the mention of the familiar name and at the place they are at.

"Bunking class ?" She chuckle not knowing he is the type to. Walking fast she look around to find the facility she went only once or twice with her classmates by the teacher for sports practice.

"Where it is ?" Her teeth sink into her bottom lips, standing near a door and eyes searching for the room.

"Hey Cameron, what game are you playing huh ?" (Y/N) jolted slight at her boyfriend's name called from behind and she turn her head to stare at the door behind.

"What do you mean ?" His smooth, soft voice asked. Her heart skipped.

"Stop beating around the bush and say it what game are you playing with that girl ?" A unfamiliar male voice irritated asked and she tilts her head in confuse. What girl ? Which girl ?

"What girl ?" Cameron glare at his friend, Leo.

"That girl you are recently dating from art class". Her heart skipping more feeling intrude into their private conversation yet the desire to hear what he really thinks of her grip her in her roots.

"What about (Y/N) ?" An exhausted sigh echo the room.

"Hey ! Buddy, you know what we are talking about ! Stop playing dumb".  The harsh, horse voice of Adrian add. "We told you the bet was to date that girl and kiss her within five days. So why are you still doing hovering over her ?" The air around her turn cold and her feet and hands felt frosty.

What ?

"Yes, Cameron, are you trying to fuck her too ? That's why you are following her like a shadow ?" William's deep voice joked. Laugh vibrate in his chest and maybe the laugh was contagious because all joined in save for Cameron and Leo.

"Stop it ! The bet was to merely date and kiss her not to make her fall in love ! It's not a laughing matter when someone's feeling is in hand". Leo sounded agitated only to fuel their laughter.

"Leo ! Stop sounding like a fucking saint when you were the one to give the bet". Adrian tsk in irony, looking away from the group to the door.

"I know and I regret it". He answered back, sparing a look to Cameron who's choosing silence the entire time.

"I wondered if she is virgin because why else Cameron wants her so bad ?" William smirk, glint mischievous at earning Cameron's glare while Adrian furrow, making out someone's figure outside of the door.

"What wanna—". Another friend's voice cut off.

"Who's there ?" Adrian's shout causing all to look at the door. "Hey ! You outside !" (Y/N) jumped in cold sweat hearing the footsteps closing to near and near and near yet her body isn't hers to listen anymore.

She watched the door wide open meeting many pairs of eyes however her found Cameron's wide ones. Fear and panic in those onyx ones she only saw bashfull and confidence. Was that also an act to make her fall ?

"(Y/N) ?" His utter break the silence and Leo mutter fuck under his breath. The others forming smile at the new entertainment about to begin.

"(Y/N)" The name roll from Cameron's voice suddenly sounded bitter, distant. Like she was a stranger to him and he was to her. She wonder how she even manage to stood not run away like in the movies she watch ?

"(Y/N)—".

"I know you are dating me for love right ?" Words she didn't ponder to say escape. The white roses in her hand bend a little by her force of fist but she didn't care. She looked straight in his eyes and waited to hear the answer she knew was truth.

He likes her.

She knows. She knows he likes her. The bet must be somesort of joke that turned truth later, she believes he won't betray her trust in that way. She knows she is being dating because she is liked, loved. No way the adoration, love, smiles, flowers were lies. An illusion. An decoration to the prey to sink his fangs.

He must like her right ?

"I am—". She breath in relieve and the boys scoff in disbelief. "—now". Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Why the word now feels foreign, unheard and confuse word. What does he mean by now ? He didn't soak sleeves to propose with flowers for love ? He didn't try to kiss her for love ? He didn't bring her to cafe for her peace of mind ? He didn't call out her name in front of others for love ?

What does that mean ? What they were then ? If not girlfriend and boyfriend ? If not in relationship ? Because the reality of her faith in him was shattered by the single word. Now.

"Do you love me ?" He flinch and she thought why unaware her voice sounded cold.

"Yes. I do now—".

"Did you loved me ?" He wince again and she is thinking why ? When she should be the one in pain.

"Did you loved me ?" The guilt in his eyes should have been the answer but she wanted to prove the illusion wrong that he did loved her.

"Did you loved me ?" She repeated, her voice stronger than better. Harsher than previous.

"No". The root of grip over her body collapse and the trust for him shatter.

"Did you approach me solely due to bet ?" She asked once more, little crack at the end.

"Yes". The honesty she always like stings like a snake bite, poisoning all the reality she believed, lived in only to be shattered and realize how big of a fool she was.

The men in the room laughed a little. That same biting laugh and she realize another thing. They all knew. Not only the men but the others too, all the students knew. She was from the beginning jester to their sick joke. An outsider to the group. When she thought all were laughing with her turns out they were laughing at her.

And the orchestra was done by the one and only person she trusted and come to love. Her beloved boyfriend Cameron. She should have known no mortals are allowed to look at the sun directly. It burns their eyes, flesh and left nothing but ashes of burnt. She should have been better.

She turn her heels and walk. Walk straight to her dorm. Feeling the blaze of sun rays. Today the sun was pretty warm.

She layed on the bed. Unmoved, untouched and unlive too. Staring at the ceiling with her dry eyes. She thought why tears weren't comforting her when her heart was squeezing her to not breath anymore.

Ding !

Ding !

Ding !

Ding !

Ding !

(Y/N) stood up, livelessly went near the phone when the little bouquet of love. The white roses fell to the ground silently. She watched them and in errie slow way she crounched down. The white wrapper around them fell apart, the bunch of roses draft from one another. Her fingers touch the green stem.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The delicate thorn of the stems nicked her finger accompany with the sting of pain and drops of ruby hue fell to the group. As silently as the flowers. Her head title, staring at the errie blood on her fingers, not a hiss left her lips. The pain was for a second, light yet.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Finally the tears in her eyes roll down her cheeks. Quiet salty tears swell up however sudden little whimper form in her lips turning to sounds of pain as she begin crying out loud. Louder and louder and louder the cry become.

"It hurts. It hurts". She whimper and for some reasons it was not the pain in her fingers and she hated to acknowledge the real pain. She wanted to believe in the illusion she thought was her reality.

"It's hurts. It really really hurts". She wail, fat tears one after another falling down and ears plumbing hard to not let her hear anything.

Why ? Why ? Why he played with her ? Why he do that ? She really, really loved him. His smile was sweet, his laugh was louder, the daisy was beautiful, his embrace was warm. He became her many things she liked.

Even if the days they bond was short, the feelings were deeper than the days. Why ? Why did he do all those ? Just for a bet ? If so why was he so honest there ? He could have lied and she like a fool in love believed him. She totally could have. 

Wailling alone. In the cold room despite the sweeping of sun rays. She stare at the white roses. A represention of pure love, hope and beginning along sorrow and regret she forget.

Suddenly the door of the room bust open, she couldn't care. The pain was becoming unbearable by passing second when a strangled grasp left her lips upon the touch of a pair of hands around her frame.

The touch was too familiar it was nausea.

"I am sorry, I am sorry (Y/N) for doing that to you. I am sorry. I am really really sorry (Y/N). Believe me I am". Cameron hug her tighter and she cried harder.

"I am sorry. I love you. I do love you (Y/N)". The special words of love instead of touching her, fluttering her heart turn her stomach.

"I love you. Believe me. You must believe me". He let her go and cup her soaked face, staring into the pained (E/C) eyes. "I love you. Yes, I approach you with motive but believe me I fell for you in the process. Look if I didn't love you then I wouldn't brought you the flowers, get wet in rain, spend half of my time with you and bring you to the cafe". He in desperate voice told her.

"I love you. You are my first love (Y/N), my first and only one. You made me fall for you". (Y/N) sobbing look at the stranger in front and sniff.

"H-how can I believe you ?" Cameron froze. He stare at her, those teary ones, the reason of her pain.

And connect their forehead. "Think about it (Y/N), if I didn't love you so much would I still date you even after we kissed ? If I didn't love you would I have still dated you ? Think about it. If I didn't love you shouldn't I throw you away ? I loved you and took care of you. Always thought of you". (Y/N) sob halted and her numbed mind thought of the sense of his speech.

"If I didn't love you I wouldn't chase after you and hug you so dear to my arm ?" Now she couldn't stop thinking how good he treated and loved her. Yes, late but at least loved her right ? If their relationship wasn't a love story then what ? Of course it was love right.

She loved him a lot. And seeing him in his knee cradling her makes her forgive him, give him a second chance. "Will you be my girlfriend again ?" It was an unspoken break up.

"Yes". She didn't want to lose him so she said yes slipping the consequence of her mistake because even if he loved her, late. The pain and the scars were already dug too deep.

He hugged her tightly in happiness. She really didn't want to lose him but how could she differentiate the lies and truth drop from his lips when it was the same lips approach her with deceit.

Also if he loved her then why did he not notice the drops of blood yet ? Or he doesn't care enough to.

𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅

☾ ─────────

NEXT

[whitedarkmoonflower]

Paris, Pyramids, and Werewolves: Eacon4 Friday evening

Just like last time, I went to the convention with my friend. She still hasn’t watched The Last Kingdom all the way through (don’t ask), but she loved the event last year. Plus, we don’t get much time to see each other, so when I asked her to come along again, she was immediately on board.

We were late. Again. Honestly, Paris traffic is like a personal vendetta against me. I hate it, and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. Somehow, though, we made it—just barely. We grabbed our tickets with about five minutes to spare, bolted upstairs to our room, and I slapped on some makeup like my life depended on it. Quick mirror check, and then we dashed back down for the cocktail party.

We stumbled into the room, still catching our breath, and were promptly shepherded to the last free table. No time for drinks, no chance to collect ourselves—just, “Here’s your spot, good luck!” There were only three of us at the table: me, my friend, and a lady we’d just met. And before we could even blink, the actors arrived, and Jeppe was suddenly at our table.

Let me tell you, Jeppe was a total vibe from the start. He casually mentioned that he’d spent the day exploring Paris and—get this—managed to find a restaurant that served food before 8 p.m. A legit Parisian miracle! We laughed, totally impressed, because, let’s be real, finding a decent early dinner in Paris is like spotting a unicorn.

Then, out of nowhere, he pulled out a box of chocolates. Yes, chocolates. He told us they were from his home country and boldly claimed they were the best milk chocolates ever. They were these cute little chocolate hearts, and we, of course, thanked him and graciously accepted.

Now, here’s the thing: Latvians are fiercely proud of their chocolate. Like, fiercely. We’re convinced it’s the best in the world, and we’ll die on that hill. My friend and I exchanged knowing looks, silently agreeing that poor Jeppe clearly hadn’t experienced Laima yet—our pride and joy, named after the Latvian goddess of happiness. But this was not the time or place for a chocolate debate, so we kept our opinions to ourselves, smiled politely, and thought, You don’t know what you’re missing, Jeppe.

Jeppe asked where we were from, and, as expected, the moment I said Latvia, his immediate reaction was, “Oh, like Arnas?” I couldn’t help but laugh—I’m so used to people mixing up Latvia and Lithuania that it didn’t even faze me. “Nope, not Lithuania. Latvia. Close, though. We’re neighbors!” I explained, and Jeppe was so sweet about it.

He also mentioned that he’s currently performing in Jesus Christ Superstar, which immediately had us all going, “WOW!” because, seriously, how cool is that? But before we could dive deeper into that conversation, his time with us was up, and it was Cavan’s turn.

Now, Cavan came over with this sweet, slightly nervous vibe, like he wasn’t quite sure where to start. Naturally, we ended up talking about Paris again (it was clearly the theme of the day). He mentioned that he’d been trailing Toby around because, apparently, Toby knows all the best spots. One of their stops was the Musée de l'Orangerie, and Cavan was absolutely mesmerized by Monet’s Nymphéas. The way he described it, you could tell it left a real impression on him—he was genuinely moved.

And then Toby arrived, and let me just say—I was not ready. This man is royalty personified. Everything about him, from the way he stands to the way he moves, just oozes regal elegance. And the voice. Oh. My. God. That voice. It’s like dark velvet and warm honey had a love child—rich, smooth, a little mysterious, but still soft and inviting. Honestly, words don’t do it justice. And the way he speaks? It’s like he’s performing Shakespeare by candlelight, even if he’s just answering a question about breakfast.

We asked what he’s working on, and he told us about a new series he’s filming, set to release next year. It’s about an aristocratic family in England during World War II, centered on the Mitford sisters. He was so excited as he talked about the story, the complex lives of the characters, and especially one of the sisters who ended together with England’s most infamous fascist, Sir Oswald Mosley. You could tell he was genuinely invested in the project, and it was impossible not to share his enthusiasm.

I’d love to say I remember everything Toby said, but honestly? I was completely hypnotized by his voice. He could’ve been reciting a grocery list, and I’d still have been standing there, utterly transfixed. No exaggeration—I could listen to him talk forever.

Then came Jacob, and wow, what a difference a year makes! Gone was the shy, uncertain vibe he had last time. He’s grown so much, and you can tell he’s been working on himself—his voice, his stance, everything about him radiated confidence. He walked in like he owned the place, and honestly, it was so great to see.

Naturally, our chat turned towards Seven Kings Must Die and his role in it. Jacob shared that when he first got the part, he’d actually broken his leg. So, while stuck at home, he had nothing to do but dive headfirst into The Last Kingdom world—reading the script and binge-watching the show, immersing himself completely in that world.

He laughed as he told us how he was initially informed that his character, Osbert, was brand new, so he didn’t expect to find any reference to him. Then, while filming had already started, Jacob finally made it to Season 5—and bam! There’s Osbert, walking on the shore with Hild. Except… that Osbert looked nothing like Jacob and even had a completely different accent.

Jacob, being the perfectionist that he is, decided he needed to match that one-line accent for authenticity. Can you imagine? I mean, if someone tortured me, I couldn’t tell you what accent that Osbert had. The level of dedication is both hilarious and impressive, and we all had a good laugh about it.

Next up was Timothy, and again—what a transformation! I still remember how shy and unsure he seemed last time. But this time? Total 180. He was confident, cracking jokes, and he was actually the one asking us questions like how we got into watching The Last Kingdom and whether we’d watched it together. The vibe was so fun and relaxed, and it was clear he felt much more comfortable in his own skin.

Next up was Eliza, and oh my gosh—what a whirlwind of energy and charisma! The moment she arrived, we were all immediately hugged—or more accurately, squeezed—while she bubbled over with excitement about seeing everyone again. She kept gushing about how gorgeous we all looked, which, let’s be honest, made us feel amazing.

We congratulated her on her baby, and naturally, the conversation shifted to kids. She told us her little girl was staying with her at the hotel because she wanted her Last Kingdom family to meet her too. Apparently, she barely got any sleep the night before because the baby had kept her up, but you’d never know—Eliza was absolutely glowing. She raved about how gorgeous her baby was and how thrilled she was to be a mom. Then, with her signature humor, she laughed about how playing Aelswith had given her a crash course in motherhood—and even grandmotherhood—so now she’s just putting all that “acting experience” into real-life practice.

You could practically feel the love and pride radiating off her. We joked about how this phase of parenting is actually the easy part, and how traveling with a toddler is a whole different beast. I even shared a story about how, when my son was two, he decided a shopping mall was the perfect place to play hide-and-seek with me. I thought I’d lost him, but nope—he was just testing my heart health. Eliza cracked up and totally got it.

Then it was Mark’s turn, and I almost didn’t recognize him without the beard! By this point, my head was spinning—from the excitement, the endless conversations, and, let’s be real, the champagne. I hadn’t eaten a thing because, honestly, who wants to risk being mid-bite while chatting with actors? So the mini sandwiches on our table just sat there, silently judging me.

Mark started off asking about holiday plans, which, of course, led to him sharing his own. He’s heading to Egypt for a Nile cruise, and let me tell you, he was clearly excited about it. He asked if anyone at the table had been to Egypt, and as luck would have it, my friend and I had just been talking about it. She’s dreaming of a trip there, and I visited about 20 years ago.

I told him honestly that the pyramids hadn’t left much of an impression on me back then, and I explained why. The route to get there took us through a very poor part of Cairo, where people were literally living in cardboard boxes. Seeing that level of poverty made it hard for me to fully appreciate the grandeur of the pyramids.

I can’t remember the exact order of the guests after that, but Micky was just the sweetest. Seriously, so lovely. We asked him what he’s up to these days and if he has any new projects. He almost looked apologetic when he said he’s not acting anymore but is now teaching acting. Of course, we were like, “WOW, that sounds amazing!” He seemed genuinely happy to hear that and told us a bit about his work as an acting coach. He was super interested in us too—asking where we’re from, what we do, and just being all-around delightful.

And then there was Magnus. I think I might have fallen a little bit in love. He was so easygoing and natural, like he’d just wandered in from a chill pub night. The first thing he noticed? Our glasses were nearly empty. Without missing a beat, he grabbed a bottle and refilled them for us. Naturally, we toasted together, and he laughed, calling this whole setup “speed dating,” encouraging us to fire away with questions.

Except… he didn’t really let us. Turns out he wanted to do all the asking. He wanted to know where we’re from, what we do, and of course, the classic: our favorite Last Kingdom scenes and characters. My friend admitted her favorite was Erik, which he was very pleased to hear. You can probably guess mine, and the other lady at our table admitted to being a Finan fan. Magnus just laughed and said he didn’t expect anyone to name Cnut anyway. His humor and warmth made the whole interaction feel so effortless and fun.

And last but not least Arnas. I have to say, he looked pretty tired. It was such a contrast to last time when he practically stormed over to our table, champagne glass in hand, hugging everyone, making toasts, talking and laughing non stop. Back then, he was like an overexcited puppy, especially when he found out there were Latvians at the table. I still remember how he confessed he’d never been to Latvia, even though we’re neighboring countries. My hands were shaking so much while trying to clink glasses with him that I almost missed.

This time was completely different. He was calm, no big excitement, just low-key and collected. I wasn’t sure if he’d even remember me. Our interactions last year were so sweet, but let’s be honest—he meets a lot of people, and it had been a whole year.

But then he walked up, greeted us, and suddenly said, “Oh, Līga!”

I swear, I just stood there grinning like an idiot.

Arnas: “You gave me that dragon book of yours to sign last time, right?”

Me (finally finding my voice): “Wow, you remember!”

Arnas: “Of course I do!”

He then turned to my friend but looked confused when he didn’t recognize her. She didn’t interact with him last time because she was too busy fangirling over Cristian. We told him how sad we were that this convention is supposed to be the last one in Paris, and then shared our “secret” plan: a 10-year reunion in Bebbanburg.

Arnas pretended to be surprised about the idea of a 10-year anniversary. We quickly declared that Alex would definitely be invited to the party, and the conversation shifted to Alex, who’s avoiding conventions. That’s when Arnas lit up as he suddenly remembered Alex’s grandmother, who had once even visited the set.

He started swooning over how she was the most lovely and charming lady he’d ever met and that he wants to be like her when he’s older. He said something like he would want to have those genes, to which my friend, without missing a beat, suggested the only way to ensure those genes would be to marry Alex and pass them on to their kids. Arnas paused, and then agreed it was a solid plan. We all burst out laughing—it was pure chaos, and it started to feel like the playful energy from last time. You could see Arnas lighten up a little.

Finally, I mustered up the courage to ask him the question that had been bugging me: “So, are you playing a villain in Mutiny?” I admitted right away that I know he probably won’t tell this to me anyway, but I just had to ask.

As expected, he didn’t spill a thing. Instead, he just smiled mysteriously and said, “Oh, you’ll see.”

And just like that, it was over. The group pictures were next, and before I knew it, Eliza had pulled me into another hug and dragged me to her side, yelling, “We’re doing hearts!” So naturally, we all did hearts. It was chaotic and hilarious, as usual with her.

By this point, I was feeling pretty dizzy from all the excitement and conversations—and mildly panicking about the werewolf game. The night before, I had won a ticket to Jacob’s team for my friend, and as the sweetest birthday surprise, she had gifted me a ticket for Arnas, Jeppe, and Cavan’s team. No pressure, right?

After a bit of queuing, we took our seats in a circle set up for the game. Our team was small—just me and four other ladies. Arnas arrived first and immediately announced, “You’re all doomed, you’re going to lose because I’m the werewolf, and I’m getting you all!” We laughed, and I shot back, “That’s not up to you—it depends on the role you get.” He grinned, and to my absolute shock (and slight terror), he chose the seat right next to me, making my heart jump straight into my throat.

Cavan and Jeppe hadn’t arrived yet, and while I was busy internally spiraling—trying to convince myself to stay calm and mentally cursing every goddess of fate for making me say something that probably prompted him to sit next to me—Arnas turned to me and casually asked, “So, what’s your absolute dream book to translate?” I have so much respect for Arnas for genuinely paying attention and remembering the people he meets. Not only did he remember my name, but he also remembered the book I gave him to sign and that I had translated it. Honestly, how does he even do that?

I told him I’m currently looking for a publisher for a beautiful German book for teenagers. I explained how there aren’t enough good books for kids and teens in Latvian, and the few publishers out there tend to focus on profits, which makes it hard to pitch books for a smaller audience. He wished me good luck, which was so sweet, and just as I was about to get emotional, I was saved by the bell—or more accurately, by Jeppe and Cavan arriving and the Nevastalgia girls jumping in to explain the rules of the werewolf game.

In the first round, I got the role of Cupid. My job? Pair up two players as a “couple,” meaning if one dies, the other does too. Naturally, I paired Jeppe and Arnas. Little did I know how lucky that choice would turn out to be. It turns out Jeppe was the Witch, and on the first night, the werewolves (of course) targeted Arnas. Jeppe had to use his healing powers to save Arnas, which kept both of them in the game. Talk about a power couple!

I love this game and tried my best to focus, but my concentration took a hit when Arnas casually placed his arm on the back of my chair. Seriously, how is one supposed to concentrate when that happens? To my surprise, the other ladies on the team were very quiet, so it was mostly me, Jeppe, and Arnas arguing and accusing each other of being werewolves. Jeppe, by the way, was absolutely thriving. He bickered with Arnas the entire time in classic Haesten style, teasing him non-stop. Cavan was a bit reserved at first but got more into the game as it went on.

Unfortunately, both games ended the same way—with one villager and one werewolf left alive, meaning the werewolves won. Poor Arnas didn’t even get to play as a werewolf either time and was eliminated super early both rounds. The final moments of the last game were intense. I knew the other lady was the werewolf and tried to convince Cavan and Jeppe, but while Jeppe believed me, Cavan didn’t. So we lost again.

But honestly? It didn’t even matter. The whole thing was hilarious. The banter, the accusations, and Jeppe’s jokes had me laughing so much that by the second round, I completely forgot about Arnas sitting next to me and finally just enjoyed the game and all the ridiculous fun that came with it.

[eitaababe]

hey i saw ur works and it's all amazing, eyes on you is my fav!! I don't know if u open any request but i have some idea of neteyam😩

umm maybe can i request neteyam x fem!metkayina reader when she is tsireya best friend and she's helping the sully's when they come to aw'atlu village. reader really love animals and the animals love her too, little secret neteyam having a crush on reader but he scares that she doesn't feel the same because she's close to ao'nung and one day neteyam see reader having a 'small talk' with the animals and he's falling deeper to her. then he ask reader to join him to ride his ikran. SO MUCH FLUFF HEHE

i leave the rest to you hehe, thank you so much for seeing my request!!

love, xx

YOUR HAND !

a/n — STOP THIS IS LEGIT THE CUTEST REQUEST EVER OMG?? / also tysm for the kind words ily 🫶🫶

—

You and Tsireya have been close ever since you were little, so of course you were together when the Sully's arrived to aw'atlu. You immediately picked up on your best friend's attraction to one of the Sully's, and so did his brother. You two had shared a look then, laughing quietly together at them.

That's mostly how you and Neteyam's relationship went, friendly exchanges of smiles and waves. You didn't have anything against Neteyam, but Ao'nung did, and while you disagreed with him for it, you were still very close to the boy, almost like a second sister to him.

Nevertheless, you, like Rotxo, were very close with the family and came along to help the Sully children your clan's way of living. Neteyam, you could tell, was very skilled and got the hang of things very quickly. Him and his siblings finally got their breathing and swimming down correctly, and today, you were going to show them how to ride an ilu.

Neteyam, excited to learn how to ride a new creature and intrigued by you, jogged to catch up to you, trying to start a conversation. "Hi," he started, flashing a shy smile. "Y/n, right? We haven't talked much."

You quickly returned his smile with one of your own, nodding. "Yes, you're Neteyam, correct? Lo'ak's older brother?"

He as well nodded, nervously toying with his fingers. "So, you're teaching us how to ride an ilu today?"

"Mhm!" You excited hummed, clearly pleased at the mention of marine life. "Ilu's are wonderful, friendly creatures. They're not like your ikran though, they don't bond with only one rider for life. Oh! And then we have what we call a tsurak, which are more picky on who rides them, and strong riders and warriors usually try to tame them," you paused, clearing your throat and looking up to be met with Neteyam's eyes. "Oh, sorry for rambling."

Listening intently on what you were telling him, Neteyam lowered his head just a little to hear you, since you had such a soft voice and he practically towered over you. "Don't be sorry, I like listening to you talk about the creatures. And you seem to know what you're talking about, so I'll be in good hands."

At the close proximity, you turned away momentarily, hoping he wouldn't catch the faint blush that painted your face. To your luck Rotxo spoke up, walking not too far from you two.

"Ah yes, y/n is our animal expert on aw'atlu, she loves all the creatures and they're all very fond of her as well." He spoke proudly.

"I can see why." Neteyam commented, making you chuckle sheepishly.

Learning how to ride an ilu went fairly easy (at least for Neteyam). Soon enough he was riding his ilu like a natural, and quickly beckoned you over to join him. You and the others rode on your ilus for quite some time, incorporating their breathing skills into the mix.

Neteyam was having the time of his life, getting to see you in the wonders of the ocean. His heart swelled at the way your face lit up in the cutest way when you got to see all the wonderful creatures underwater.

But alas, all good things must come to an end, as day was turning to night, and you all headed back to your own maruis. Neteyam thought about following you for just a second, just to talk to you for a moment before heading to sleep. He was met with a stern glare from Ao'nung though, and knowing the two of you were close, and the respect you held for him, he turned away, following his brother and sisters. He guess he could wait to see you tomorrow morning.

Entering their own marui, Lo'ak spoke up, finding a chance to tease his older brother. "Bro, you have like, heart eyes coming out of your sockets."

"I do not!" Neteyam denied, looking to Kiri for help. "Sister, tell Lo'ak he is delusional."

"I think you're the delusional one for denying it." The girl spoke, paying only half attention to the conversation.

"See! Even Kiri noticed. Seriously, 'I like listening to you talk to the creatures.' Disgusting, honestly. Made me want to barf."

"Don't even start, you want to talk about heart eyes? You look at Tsireya as if she's eywa's finest creation." Neteyam retaliated, leaving his younger brother speechless.

"Whatever, bro." He mumbled, sitting himself down next to Kiri, ready to head to sleep.

As the next morning came, Neteyam was practically up with the sun, hoping to see you today. There were no lessons with you today, but he was still hoping to see you, and maybe hang out with you today, if you'd let him. He woke his siblings up (Lo'ak rather harshly), and they all made their way out, excited to spend their time by the ocean, or with an ilu.

When he finally spotted you, he saw you sitting and talking with Ao'nung. Normally, he wouldn't have cared if you were talking with someone else, but this was Ao'nung, who was notorious amongst him and his siblings for his treatment towards them. So he turned on his heel and went in the other direction, going unnoticed by you.

He was bummed for the rest of the day, it wasn't hard to see. Neteyam was more quiet than usual, keeping to himself and enjoying his soltitude while going on a swim with his ilu. Lo'ak was off elsewhere, probably with his own crush —lucky bastard, and Kiri and Tuk were off exploring the island. Everybody else was occupied, and all he wanted to do was talk to you.

The next time Neteyam sees you is when he gets into a brawl with Ao'nung and some of his friends. You don't come in until after the fight has ended, rolling your eyes and silently laughing at your best friend's stupidity. You escort Ao'nung away, but not before sending a warm smile towards the other na'vi, making him forget all about the pain in his lower lip.

You see the Sully brother's make their way back to their marui, probably about to get scolded by their father for their actions. Meanwhile, you find Tsireya and Roxto, and the three of you scold Ao'nung, telling him how he needs to start treating the Sully siblings with more respect.

"But-" Ao'nung started pathetically, you cutting him off.

"No, I don't want to hear it. I don't care if you don't like them, they are our guests and have to be treated nicely. If you don't stop picking a fight with them, I'm going to tell your dad." You threatened, giving Ao'nung a stern look. He nodded wordlessly, Rotxo and Tsireya almost laughing. You always had a way of getting Ao'nung to listen to you.

"Fine, I'll go apologize to him," He muttered, hissing when you grabbed his arm to take him over to Neteyam. "Hey! My arms bruised, you know!"

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bruised if you hadn't harassed their sister."

So the four of you found Neteyam and his siblings at the beach, and you let go of Ao'nungs arm, ushering him over there. "Go! I'm not going to apologize for you."

He slowly treaded his way over, turning around to look at you three. He gave you all puppy dog eyes, which only resulted in the three of you simultaneously shooing him further with your hands.

Ao'nung finally reached the siblings, clearing his throat. "Uh- hey."

"Hey." Neteyam was the only one to greet him back, Lo'ak and Kiri sending cold glares his way.

"Look, I just wanted to apologize." Ao'nung grimaced at the words, trying to figure out a way to word his apology.

"The fuck is going on?" Lo'ak muttered over towards Kiri, but not quiet enough that Ao'nung wouldn't hear him.

He side eyed Lo'ak momentarily, continuing on. "Y/n gave me a talking to after the fight. And Tsireya. And Roxto," he quietly added, clearing his throat. "Anyways, they told me I needed to start treating you guys better or whatever. So I'm sorry for calling you a freak Kiri. And for pulling your tail, Lo'ak. I'll try to make sure it won't happen again." He practically mumbled the last sentence, the others barely hearing him.

Lo'ak, with a shit eating grin, heard the last part of his apology, but what would it hurt to make him repeat it? "Sorry, what was that?"

Huffing, Ao'nung spoke louder. "I said, it won't happen again."

Neteyam laughed at the two, friendlily grasping Ao'nungs arm. "No worries bro. It's all cool."

"So we're cool?"

"Yeah, we're cool."

Still watching, you, Tsireya, and Rotxo watched proudly as Ao'nung made his way back over. His head was down as he walked, he was certainly was not one for apologies. Opening his mouth to tease him, Roxto was interrupted by Ao'nung before he could talk. "Not a word."

The three of you laughed, following Ao'nung back into the village.

Without a feud between Ao'nung and the Sully siblings, life was much more peaceful. You didn't have to hear Ao'nung complaining about how much he hated them all, and you didn't have to refrain yourself from talking to any of them when with him anymore.

So today you were alone, Rotxo and Ao'nung together, Tsireya presumably off with Lo'ak somewhere. You opted to head toward some ilus, deciding their company would keep you content for the time being.

You sat on the edge of one of the maruis, an ilu showing it's head to you. You giggled at the friendly gesture, patting its head and tossing some food its way. "You know, sometimes I think I enjoy your company better than others."

The ilu made a sound, as if it agreed with what you were saying. "Exactly! Don't get me wrong, they're nice, but just between you and me, Ao'nung talks to much." You chuckled, tossing it another piece of food. You often would find creatures around the island and talk to them when you were alone, finding joy in their company and interactions.

Unbeknownst to you, Neteyam was aimlessly walking around the island when he spotted you talking to- someone? Nosily, he craned his head to get a peak of whoever you were talking to, hearing something about enjoying their company more. His chest tightened at the words, afraid you already had a promised mate.

At the sight of an ilu he let out a sigh of relief, shaking his head with a smile. You were just too cute, and it melted his heart seeing you interact and get along with animals so effortlessly. His head swiveled around to his ikran, an idea popping into his head.

"Hey, y/n!" You heard a voice call your name, your smile growing wider at the sight of your favorite Sully (don't tell Tuk).

You waved in his direction, your ilu friend tilting it's head at the sudden voice. "Hi Neteyam, what brings you here?"

"Uhm- nothing really," he started, looking over at the ilu and laughing at its little head tilt. "I just saw you here and was wondering if you wanted the company?"

You grinned, nodding your head. "I would love that." You pat the spot next to you, inviting him to sit down. Honestly, you preferred being alone when talking to the creatures, but for some reason, you liked having Neteyam around.

And so he sat down next to you, greeting the ilu. "So, who's this?"

"Ah, this is Nyla. She's very social, although most of the ilus are. Nyla, meet Neteyam." You introduced the two, putting some food in the boy's hand.

Shuddering at your touch, Neteyam handed Nyla some food, smiling wide when she responded to his touch. You watched adoringly, eyeing Neteyam.

"I think she likes you."

"I hope so," He chuckled, now turning his attention towards you. "I- uhm, actually had a question. So you know my ikran?" He inquired, holding eye contact.

You shrunk under his gaze, suddenly feeling shy. "Oh yeah- I saw you and your family arrive on them. They're very beautiful." You commented, remembering how big they were and admiring their colors.

"Well I was wondering— since you seem to be so fond of creatures and get along with them so well, if you'd like to join me on a ride sometime today? Mine has been dying to stretch her wings out, and you'd get a lovely view of the ocean."

"Yes!" You excitedly accepted his invitation, quickly getting up and holding out your hand for him to join you. "Let's go right now! I'm so excited to meet your ikran."

Chuckling at your excitement, Neteyam grabbed your hand, leading you over to his ikran. "Alright alright, we can go now. Bye Nyla." He waved to the ilu, and walked over to where him and his family's ikran's rested.

Your eyes widened at the sight of them, looking at them in adoration. Neteyam fed her a snack, calming her down. "Don't look her in the eye."

So you avoided eye contact, but observed the rest of the ikran, taking notice of her long wings. You were speechless, admiring the large creature.

"Easy, girl." He soothed the ikran, making the bond.

Neteyam then snapped you out of your daze, bringing you closer. "You ready?" When you nodded he helped you up first, following in suit.

Once he made sure you were secure he called out, taking off on the ikran. Your hold on his hand instantly tightened, practically shaking at how high you two were. "Oh great mother, I could never get used to flying this high."

Gently rubbing the side of you waist in attempt to soothe you. Neteyam brought up how he got his ikran, hoping to distract you. "You know, when I first bonded with her, she tried to kill me."

"What?" Your head immediately looked up, glancing over your shoulder. Neteyam mentally pat himself on the back, continuing on.

"During Iknimiya, when an ikran chooses you when it tries to kill you. She practically tried to throw me off a ledge," he laughed, seeing your face of disbelief. "She loves me now, though."

"That's terrifying," you commented, sneaking a glance down and seeing the ocean, feeling a little more at ease. "It's cool though. But I think I'll stick with the ocean."

"Honestly, the ocean terrified me at first," Neteyam admitted, explaining when you gave him a questioning look. "There's a lot of creatures underwater, and you have to be a strong swimmer and hold your breath for a very long time to be successful underwater. It was intimidating at first."

"I get what you mean," you agreed, Neteyam's hold on you tightening as you landed back onto the sand. "You owe me a swim now."

"Well then," he spoke as he helped you down, leaving his ikran to join the rest of his family's. "It's still day out, so why don't we go right now?"

You ears perked up, and hurriedly you tugged him to a marui to call for a couple of ilus, hands still intertwined. A smile graced his handsome features at the realization.

Not once did you let go of his hand.

—

a/n — sorry anon this lowk took me forever cause i had to do research on the creatures so reader knew what she was talking about 😭

[teyamsgrl]

Okey u said request angst so here I am! I’ve been non-stop thinking abt the idea that Neteyam left his love behind when the Sullys left for Awa’atlu. So what I’m thinking is he promises her that he’ll return and she waits and hopes, and hopes and waits and one day he appears to her when she visits the spirit tree and it’s kinda fluffy for a minute but then it sinks in that he’s never coming back to her </3

THIS SHATTERED MY HEART WTF 😭 I LEGIT CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS OH MY GAWWWWD

this is also gonna be more of a blurb style in the way of length

when will i see you again? ✧ neteyam

°˖➴ warnings: fem omatikaya reader, neteyam death mentions, to sum it up: sad 🫠 - yawne: beloved

it had been almost 7 months since your mate had left for awa'atlu with his family. it had been hard without him, you wanted to go with them desperately but it was something that was much easier said than done. neteyam's last words to you ring through your head each day that passes, "i promise, yawne, i will be back before you know it to come visit. i promise i will be with you again soon". you couldn't help but wonder what was happening in awa'atlu, you figured it would maybe be 2-3 months before neteyam returned for a visit, but 7 was pushing what you had assumed.

having been down in the dumps all day, you decided a visit to the tree of souls would be a good way to unwind and bring you some comfort. upon settling under the tree you grabbed your queue, examining the tendrils as they began to attach themselves to a section of the tree. your eyes flutter shut at the connection, a sigh falling from your lips.

once connected, you spot neteyam who is sitting on a rock beside a stream within the forest. you smile as you remember that this is where you first met, and he was sitting on that exact rock. your heart swells when a grin creeps onto his face, teeth showing and eyes bright. "neteyam!" you say excitedly... before it hits you. there is only one way that neteyam would be visiting you through the tree of souls; if he was dead. you begin to hyperventilate, tears pouring from your eyes which neteyam always said were sparkling.

"this- this can't be real, no no no!" you cry, hands reaching for the neteyam in your vision. "i'm sorry, yawne. this is the only way i can visit now. i'm sorry i didn't get to give you a proper goodbye before i went with eywa..." he steps closer, grabbing your hands tightly in his own. it is as though you can truly feel him, rough and large hands holding your soft and small ones. you sob more at this action, body shaking from your cries. "no neteyam, no you aren't dead no! no this isn't- no you aren't dead!" you blubber out the words while gazing at his face through your teary eyes. "i'm so sorry, i didn't want you to find out this way. i wish i was really there with you.." he whispers, hands now holding your waist gingerly. your hands grip his shoulders, digging into them as though you do not want to let this vision of him go.

"neteyam-" even uttering his name caused a sob to escape. "when will i see you again?" you whimper as you fully comprehend that you will not be able to physically be with neteyam ever again. you will never get to have his kisses or his warm cuddles through the night or his hand holds as you walk through the village together or hear his jokes or listen to his laugh. all you will have is this vision of him. "ma y/n, you can come to the tree whenever you need me, i will always be here. and when it is your time, you will be able to join me here with eywa. you will always have me, i will always be in your heart. you will never be without me, yawne"

[avelera]

Headcanon: ADHD Hob and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria

So I went down the rabbithole on ADHD and rejection sensitivity dysphoria (and found this lecture that legit made me tear up if you have or think you have ADHD, go listen to it here) and it got me thinking, as everything is wont to do, about Hob Gadling and how if he had ADHD, which I think there's lots of fun in-text hints at that at least allow that interpretation, what are some other ways that could manifest besides his ebullient and never-ending love of life in all its endless variety?

So as sufferers of ADHD know, it's not all fun and games. The flip side of living with a dopamine-starved brain that's always seeking out new experiences and seeing the world through that lens is that other emotions slam us hard too, like rejection sensitivity dysphoria aka, "the most minor criticism can feel like an actual knife in the chest, no I don't mean mildly bummed out, I mean full on fight-or-flight brain meltdown because someone told you a comma is in the wrong place in your manuscript (not that I'm speaking from personal experience yes it's that dumb)".

ANYWAY, so I'm thinking about Hob and RSD and specifically 1789.

Specifically the line, "It's just how it's done," referring to horrific practice of human trafficking and how Hob basically shrugs while, to his minor credit, looking suddenly uncomfortable and guilty, about the fact he actively profits from this industry, and the way he cringes in on himself when called out kinda seems to indicate that he knows it's a vile practice and isn't super comfortable with being reminded of his fact by someone he respects, like Dream.

A couple notes on that little exchange between Hob and Dream:

1 ) The face Ferdinand Kingsley-as-Hob makes in that moment is absolute textbook adult ADHD rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Namely, the point where you know criticism hits you like a knife in the heart, particularly from people you respect, and you just have to cover that flinch of literal physical pain with a careful poker face.

The way Hob's tone suddenly goes cold and with his very genteel, received-pronunciation manners he levels Dream with perhaps the closest he's ever come at this point to lashing out, "You're giving me advice...?"

I'm not saying that canonically it's RSD, or that neurotypical people don't suffer pain and disappointment when receiving disapproval, but to my eyes at least, Ferdie Hob takes Dream's comment very seriously, much more so than the comic counterpart did (who needed multiple nudges before he even realized what Dream was trying to tell him about getting out of the shipping business and still seemed a bit clueless about why Dream would want that or care by the end).

2 ) Going into proper headcanon territory, I personally chart Hob's journey from destitute to wealthy slave trader as the product of someone who stopped giving a shit about others after everything he suffered in the 1600s. To be perfectly clear, this is not a fucking excuse for it, it's an examination of motives.

Because technically, after everything Hob suffered in the 1600s, he could have emerged with more empathy for the plight of others. But clearly that didn't happen. From an entirely human motivation level, that leads me personally to the conclusion that since no one helped Hob when he was at his lowest (not even Dream, though I dearly wish it was otherwise and wrote extensively on what would have happened if he had) that led him to the belief, put simply, that fuck the world so long as he got his. Why should he care about anyone else if no one cared about him?

But to go back to the topic of this essay, RSD, there's an additional element to that theory on why and how Hob leaned into not giving a shit about others, and that missing factor from what's described above is the element of everyone is doing it. Specifically worded as, "It's just how it's done."

Another really fascinating lecture I listened to on ADHD talked about how the most common trauma reaction ADHDers have to their sense of rejection, shame, and guilt that comes the way our brains react to the world is by hiding. And that also got me thinking about 1789 Hob in this context.

Because Hob as we see him in 1589 is loud in his happiness. He's sitting there, bold as brass in the middle of the White Horse, showing off his wealth with a banquet, loudly declaiming about how he pretended to be his own son twice, worked in the Tudor shipyards (what would have been 50+ years before) and just how he spent the last 100 years working his way up to his knighthood. The man does not have an ounce of caution in him. But, he is also by far the happiest we ever see Hob (up until Dream ditches him in the middle of their date).

This is important because to my eyes, Hob is living openly and unashamed and with only the barest hint of caution typified by pretending to be his own son every couple decades. The way he describes his last 100 years sounds like an ADHD dream, basically getting a boat load of money from Caxton's printing press (basically the first tech startup unicorn of the modern era) and then running around wherever his interests took him where he also made money hand over fist, kept climbing, and eventually reached the point where he could purchase the acclaim and regard of a member of the (albeit minor) nobility. All of this after being born a peasant. That's just validation and money and prestige and getting to pursue your special interest and live as your authentic self all over the place. And I do mean authentic, Hob doesn't even seem particularly worried about talking openly in the White Horse about being 200+ years old, a strong case could be made that he's not that careful in his personal life either.

So anyway, Hob has this amazing century literally followed by the worst century imaginable, filled with the sort of horrors that can tear a man's soul asunder. Losing his family, his beloved wife in childbirth with their new baby, his adult son, his home, his money, everything he spent a century building. His title and name are gone too because of the nature of how he lost it with the accusation of witch craft, which also means he can't just fake being his own son again to get it all back because they're explicitly going to notice that this time.

And how did this all happen? Because Hob got noticed. He lived there 40 years, overconfident is his own words. Which is a wild thing to say about a bunch of witch hunters showing up at his door! He blames himself for being drowned as a witch. On the one hand, I imagine he has to think that way because otherwise he has to admit to the sheer brutal randomness of life, so in a way he's trying to take control of the narrative by blaming himself.

But it also smacks of ADHD again because ADHDers very commonly shift the blame onto themselves after years of their unique nervous system response making them a round peg in a square hole of wider society. We learn over and over that the mistakes we make are our fault, because of "laziness" or "apathy" which isn't apathy at all but deep agony over our inability to accomplish tasks in a neurotypical way without the support we need, but I digress. But it sure sounds like Hob may have been paralyzed by grief for literal decades and then blamed himself for not getting the mental spoons together in that context to move on and reinvent his life after losing his wife and child. Which would be a very ADHD thing to do.

So after this absolutely brutal smackdown by reality for living too openly, too loud, too ADHD, getting paralyzed by the powerful emotions he felt (if we follow the headcanon) over the grief and loss in his life, what is Hob's next step?

Hiding.

Blending in.

Not rocking the boat.

And again, not excusing it, there's plenty of other industries he could have gone into to blend in that didn't involve human trafficking. That said, if he went to sea, which we know Hob did on many occasions from the comic, it would be seen by his peers there at sea as a normal way to make one's fortune, and then.... well, we have as evidence that this is his current peer-group the sort-of pride with which Hob announces how he's making his fortune these days in the "shipping business", as if he's expecting Dream's approval.

That to me, reads a bit like the people pleaser/social chameleon aspect of ADHD. Hob is expecting to be praised for being successful by Dream the way he would likely be praised by his peers in the shipping business or among the wealthy privileged men of England. He's so steeped in that world now that he's clearly taken aback when Dream takes the (at the time more radical but not uncommon) stance of, "This is wrong."

And Hob knew it. But he was blending in. He was going along with how things are done. He wasn't rocking the boat. He has other hints at trauma responses too, "salting money around the world" in case there's political upheaval, for example. This is not the loud, boisterous Sir Robert Gadlen untouched by loss or trauma. He has been humbled and tempered and, indeed, made afraid by what happened to him.

This sort of wild swing towards protectiveness? Again, also ADHD. As the lecturer I linked first noted, ADHDers are textbook defenders. They are always defending themselves from the world that can suddenly, unexpectedly, plant a knife in their heart because of a perceived rejection. From a world that wants their brain to work in a way it doesn't, so they have to come up with myriad painful coping mechanisms to fit in, blend in, mask, and function. Hob was forced to protect himself after the 1600s, so he did, with money, and with not caring about other people, and with insulating himself from privilege, and becoming a social chameleon.

1589 Hob tries to earn back Dream's interest, but he doesn't fawn. Dream shows interest in Shaxberd and Hob, already starting to get irritated, tells him no, Shaxberd is crap.

And you can tell in 1789 that Hob is thinking about that day again when he gets Dream's disapproval, because who does he reference? That lad, Will Shaxberd. He's fearing rejection and abandonment again, or at least it's crossed his mind after Dream's admonishment. But this time, Hob is fawning more, very nearly flirting. He's trying to play the game better this time, trying to keep Dream's interest, social chameleoning the subject onto safer topics, things he thinks will interest Dream, as Shaxberd so clearly did, so let's talk about him if that's what you care about. Again, another ADHD social chameleon, people pleaser aspect. We are nervous empaths, we are constantly picking up a bazillion signals both real and imagined. And we're so fucking terrified of that RSD knife in the heart, we become people pleasers to avoid it. After the shipping business brag fell through, Hob pivots to talking about Dream and what, in his experience, Dream seems to like and talk about favorably.

So anyway, many many ADHD-esque rambling words later, there's a few more little details I'd add to the list of "possible ADHD behavior, not just the fun parts" for Hob Gadling. Is it canon? Maybe not. But it does make for a great headcanon, in my opinion.

[keirawantstocry]

hi hi its 💋anon yet again. Many soft kisses again, i legit started giggling so- twas amazing ty ty.

So Ive been having thoughts about how the general consesnsus is that Pac would silently move Tubbo to partner status. So like, Pac would be ecstatic, right? New partner Hell Yeah. I think Fit would catch on pretty quick and just double down. and i believe that Tubbo, while Not Really understanding whats Going on, would not say Anything. Why would he? then they might stop and while its confusing the affection is Nice alright?

Hope youre having a good day :>

oh 💋 anon, how i adore you. i hope YOU'RE having a good day :>

HIS ASS DOES NOT KNOW ITS A DATE 

“You're coming right?” Pac called to Tubbo who was currently slipping steel tipped boots on. 

“Yeah, I'm coming!” he called. Fit and Pac had invitéd him to dinner, it was kind of strange. But, he thought, surely they just wanted to talk and just happened to also be hungry. And they told him to wear a suit just because. 

They both looked him over when he finally stepped out, Fit with a low whistle and Pac with increasingly growing eyes. 

“You look sooooo good,” he said breathlessly and Tubbo flushed looking nervously over at Fit. 

“Haha uh thanks, man.” 

“So good,” Fit repeated and Tubbo burned under the heat of his gaze raking over his body. 

He just chucked to himself. They were surely pulling his leg. It's some kind of joke that they were checking him out like they truly wanted him, like he actually made their hearts race. 

Tubbo looked away. “Let's just go, yeah?” 

-

The restaurant was fancy, it made sense now why they had dressed up. Pac ordered wine for all of them and it came in tall thin glasses. As it was handed to him, Tubbo’s eyes went wide. He laughed softly. “It looks so fragile. I’m afraid I’m going to break it.” 

They both laughed. “Don’t worry,” Fit said. “If my metal hand can handle it without breaking it, I’m sure you can handle it as well.” 

Tubbo looked down at the menu and whistled. “This shit is expensive, I can't pay for this you guys.” 

They shushed him immediately. “We're paying,” Fit insisted.

“It's our treat,” Pac elaborated. 

Tubbo squirmed in his seat. “You guys don't have to do that.” 

“We insist,” Pac said. “You deserve it.” 

Tubbo squirmed under his gaze, remembering when Pac had said that same statement while kissing him silly. He still wasn't quite sure what was going on. How Pac claimed that Fit didn't care that they kissed. He didn't dare bring it up with Fit for fear of getting punched. 

He cleared his throat. “Okay then, let's eat yeah?” 

-

Dinner was delicious, he had to admit that. The wine was fruity and sweet, the meat was juicy and tender, and the talk was captivating. They talked for hours, long after their plates were clear and cleaned. Long after their drinks had been refilled again and again. As they got tipsy, then drunk and giggly. 

They went back to Fit's. Collapsed on his bed together. Pac cuddled as close to Tubbo as he could, fingers wandering all over his torso, legs locked around his. 

A real flush joined the wine drunk red on his face. “Feeling me up in front of your boyfriend? Wowwww.” 

Pac giggled, letting his hands wander even more. “He doesn't mind. Do you Fit?” 

Fit, who was currently standing, taking off the tie he was wearing, with a smile said, “No, I don't mind. With muscles like that I totally understand.” 

Tubbo giggled, drunkenly. “What the fuck,” he muttered. “Just. Let's sleep. I'm too tired to understand what is going on with you two.” 

Fit laid down beside them wrapping his arms around the both of them, and pulling a blanket up over them. “Yeah, let's sleep. Then we can all bitch about our hangovers in the morning, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Tubbo and Pac muttered in unison before Tubbo felt himself being pulled down into the depths of sleep. 

[ragingbookdragon]

Soap was definitely a jeans and t-shirt type of man. Hated penguin suits for the life of him. But when the team saw him come in with a clean pair of dark denim jeans, a forest-green plaid dress shirt, and a dark brown buttoned vest with tan leather straps, they knew something was up; he’d even gotten a new pair of dark dress shoes. He was running a hand through his gelled hair, a little longer than usual, but clean-shaven head and face, the scent of wintergreen aftershave wafting around him, mixing with the smoky, tobacco and cedarwood cologne he was wearing.

Price looked up from his deck of cards, looked down, then back up in shock. “Soap?”

The sergeant blinked, fixing the button of his vest, before fumbling with the gold chain that connected from his button to the watch in his pocket. “Yeah, Cap?”

“Uh…where you goin’, son?” he asked and Soap flushed a little, clearing his throat as he shifted on his feet.

“Got a date.”

Ghost snorted. “With the lass he’s been head over heels about for the last six months.”

Gaz shook his head. “You’ve been dating someone?”

“Won’t shut up about her,” Ghost answered, and Soap crossed his arms over his chest.

“I just wanted to make sure she was legit first. We’re not that serious.”

“Uh huh,” Ghost shot back. “Show us your phone background then.”

Soap blushed and shoved his phone in his pocket. “Fuck off,” he griped and looked at the captain. “I’ll be back by eleven. Call me if anything happens.”

Price waved him off. “Go have fun.” As soon as Soap disappeared, he turned on Ghost. “You didn’t tell me he was seeing someone.”

“It’s not my business,” he retorted.

“Of course, it is. Look at ‘im. He can’t be left alone to his own devices.”

***

The night had gone amazing. The food was wonderful, the atmosphere was even better, and Soap was on cloud nine as he walked with her hand in his down by the water. He felt like a teenager again, his heart beating a mile a minute in his chest and as they came to a bench, she pulled him towards it.

“Can we sit?” she asked, and he nodded.

“Of course, love,” he said and sat down with her. She seemed nervous, fiddling with her hands. “Love? You alright? Look like you’re sweatin’ bullets.”

She sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I just need to tell you something. It’s…really important and I think it might define the rest of this night.”

Now, he was nervous, and he took her hand, gently rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “Love, whatever you need to tell me, I’m listening.”

“I appreciate that,” she answered and took a deep breath, looking into his eyes as she said, “John, I’m not a biological woman.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

She gestured below her. “I’m not a biological woman. I was born a biological male. Y’know…male parts. Boy. Man.”

Soap nodded slowly. “So…you’re transgender? A male to a female?”

“Mhm.” She pulled her hand away, resting it in her lap. “I had my top and bottom surgeries a few years ago, and I’ve been on medication since I was a teenager.” Her eyes seemed sad. “I just…wanted to tell you this before things went farther. I know I waited a little longer than usual but I…I didn’t want to ruin things between us.” Tears gathered in her eyes. “I really like you, John. I mean, I really like you. And I want to keep seeing you, but if you aren’t comfortable with this, I understand a-and I won’t hold it against you if you want to stop seeing me. Some people are okay with dating people like me, and some aren’t. I just…needed you to know.”

Soap was quiet for a moment then he reached over a put his hand on her cheek, turning her face to his, thumb brushing away the tears on her skin, then he took his other hand and did the same before tilting her face up and down, side to side until a startled laugh escaped her.

“What are you doing, John?” she questioned.

He smiled at her. “Looking for all those wrinkles you must’ve gotten from frowning so much thinkin’ o’er how you were gonna tell me this.”

She laughed pitifully, a grimace coming over her lips after. “I once ended up in the ER for not telling a man I was seeing. Not that I think you would do something like that to me, I just, y’know…needed to be sure.”

Soap’s face turned uncharacteristically serious, and he promised, “Love, I will never lay my hands on you. For any reason.” He wiped her tears away. “And whether you are a biological woman or not doesn’t matter to me. I love you exactly for who and how you are. You’re perfect. In every way. I love you.”

She blinked, gaping at him. “You…you love me?”

Soap swallowed thickly, cheeks crimson as he pulled away and scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly stretching like he did when he was flustered. “I mean, I care about you greatly. A great deal. A large extent. Quite a lot.”

“You love me,” she repeated as she nuzzled into his side. “It’s okay, John, I love you too.”

He melted, wrapping his arm tight around her, squeezing her against him. “You make me really happy, love. And thank you for trusting me with this I know it was something important and I’m even sorrier if I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me.”

“John, you make me happy,” she answered, looking up at him. “And I told you this because I trust you. You have nothing to be sorry for.” She smiled. “Do you maybe want to spend the night at my place tonight?”

“I’d love to,” he said. “But do you want me to come over? I understand if you don’t want me to.”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure.” She smiled. “Besides, I want nothing more than to sleep next to you.”

“You won’t be next to me, love,” he said, standing from the bench, and pulling her with him. “You’ll be in my arms where you belong.”

Her smile rivaled the moon above and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “John MacTavish, you are a real catch, you know that?”

“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “You are.” He pecked her lips. “I love you, lass.”

“I love you.”

[sheriffgrimes-archerdixon]

The devil and I

Tw’s: blood, gore, near SA

Request: hey, I was wondering whether you could do something along the lines of where joes group hold rick at gunpoint but instead of it being michonne and Carl it’s the reader, Carl and rick? And they try to hurt y/n. If you’re comfortable with that? Thank you!

I’m so sorry this took me forever- i binged twd all over again so I’ve got inspiration to write this scene… legit my love for Rick is only growing🥲❤️ note: I am not following the scene so words will not be the same and actions will not be the same. Edit: this has been sat in my drafts for ages I forgot to post it so apologies. (Daryl not included in this version sorry!)

A/N: literally if Rick protected me like this I would legit fold. 😭

Safety was always something no one took for granted yet whenever you took safety for granted even for a split second everything went terribly wrong… exactly like this moment. You were now stood with your hands up in surrender Rick stood beside you and Carl in the car asleep. You listened to the cruel man as he began talking, blaming Rick— going on a tangent about how Rick was going to pay with his life. It made you feel sick to your stomach your fearful eyes locking onto Rick who was clearly watching you out of his peripheral one of his hands inches away from grabbing his pistol his other hand raised. “You think you’re all that?” His voice was sarcastic “well let me tell you somethin’ you killed our friend! That means we’ve gotta kill you! Start with the girl…” his cold eyes moved to look at you, eyes scanning up and down your body tongue lightly licking against his lower lip as he smirked “then we’ll kill you.” His eyes snapped back to Rick who looked infuriated to say the least. “It was my fault okay? Don’t- don’t get my people involved” he spat out. “Don’t? Oh you should’ve thought about that before killing my men!” He yelled making you flinch, immediately making his attention return to you as he suddenly turned his gun on you ricks eyes narrowing as he clenched his jaw,

“Hey! Keep the gun on me. On me.” Rick demanded, Joe looking at him with annoyance “you think you have fuckin’ control in this situation? Well buddy you’re wrong. You don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!” Jesus Christ this guy needed to take a chill pill. Your body trembled as the gun remained pointed at you, Rick too being held at gun point by another man as the other men in the group began searching around— the chubby one finding Carl, beginning to sniff him out in a crude horrible way your eyes wide as you watched the man do the unthinkable… this was sick! “Leave him be!” Rick yelled referring to Carl, Joe only laughing. He could’ve stopped his men from touching Carl.. pinning him down but he didn’t. He seemed to find it amusing. You watched with wide eyes until eventually you couldn’t cope anymore, making a drastic decision as you attempted to sprint over to Carl only for one of the skinner men to kick out his foot making you trip as you landed face first in the mud. “Well that was a dumb decision wasn’t it sweetheart!” You breathed heavily hearing Rick struggle slightly “don’t do anything to them— fuck! Don’t touch them! They didn’t do anything. It was all me! Leave them be!” Rick raised his voice desperately but despite that Joe didn’t listen, only mocking Rick further.

That’s when you felt a hand grab you, swiftly turning you over as you watched the tall man come down to straddle your waist— grubby hand grabbing your jaw as he got a good look at you. “Joe she’s a pretty one. Might keep her!” The man laughed out evilly Rick’s cold pale blue eyes glaring straight into the back of the man’s head his hands clenched by his side as he tried to breathe normally the fury on his face clearer than anything. He was about to snap… about to do something wrong… but these men couldn’t just do this. His eyes slid to the fat man who was now loosening his belt, ricks heart dropping into his stomach. “Don’t touch me!” You yelled averting ricks gaze back to you, watching you fight the man off attempting to push him away only for him to grab your wrists and pin them above your head “don’t touch her! Get your filthy hands off of her” he demanded, Joe taking that as a advantage more than anything knowing Rick seeing his people being hurt would cause him more pain… but unbeknownst to Joe it would also spur him on to doing something else in retaliation. “Hey— turn her around so he can see her face.” Joe laughed out, the man holding you down quickly obeying a sick grin on his lips as he forced you onto the floor— Rick now stood where you could see him but because you were laying on the ground he was upside down. Tears clung to your eyelashes as you stared at him in fear the terror clear. “You can take what you want! Just stop it. Stop this!” Rick demanded but it fell upon deaf ears. The men didn’t care. Rick watched as the man holding you began cutting your T-shirt off until you were exposed- leaving you in your bra and jeans.

“Well would you look at that… ya convinced yet?” He spoke to Joe as if asking whether they could keep you now. Joe only smirked and you watched in horror as the man began cutting your bra off, ricks eyes fleeing to look at Carl again the man pressing a knife to the young boys skin ricks head aching, his vision spinning, before he acted in complete panic and need to save you both as he abruptly head butted Joe making a bullet fly into the air— hitting one of joe’s men straight in the head knocking him unconscious immediately. The smell of gunpowder swirled in the air and you quickly kicked the man in the balls, watching him attempt to ease the pain only for him to pin you down again as you struggled barely registering what Rick had done, the familiar metallic scent of blood making you look over at him momentarily as your body continued to desperately fight…. Rick had bitten a huge chunk of flesh out of joe’s neck… clearly tearing an artery… your breath hitched as Rick stormed towards the two of you his beard coated in blood before he roughly stood the man up, shoving his gun onto his chin “give me one good fucking reason why I shouldn’t pull the trigger.” Rick growled out, but didn’t even wait as he pulled the trigger— it was violent… vicious… merciless.. you watched with wide eyes as Rick didn’t even tend to you, yet, instead moving toward the fat man who was now up hands raised attempting to desperately save his own life. You weakly scurried towards Carl, grabbing him and holding him close as the boy gripped onto you, a shadow of terror in his eyes… he was traumatised… you knew what Rick was going to do. He was going to end this man’s life in the most horrific way for touching his son and so you quickly but gently helped Carl get into the car, your head turning just in time to watch a sharp hunting knife be shoved into the man’s stomach— the jagged teeth immediately sinking into his flesh as Rick began dragging the knife upwards… literally gutting the man like a fish.

You watched with wide eyes your breath hitching, Rick keeping the man held up as he stared into his eyes watching how the life drained from him little by little and as the man slumped Rick began violently stabbing the man over and over and over again. Your eyes filled with terror. You hadn’t seen Rick like this before… never… he was so composed but obviously and rightfully so he acted like this correctly. You would too if it was your child. But you were also traumatised from also nearly being sexually assaulted. Your brain wasn’t entirely working and so you shakily got into the car and began comforting Carl your face twisted with pain and other emotions that couldn’t quite be deciphered… you were unsure with what you felt… you were confused… desperate for comfort but you knew Carl needed it more than you at the moment. You silently pulled a blanket over him in an attempt to sooth him, your fingers beginning to run through his hair gently.

—

You weren’t sure how long had passed but it was now daylight, the sun breaking through the clouds. You were sat near the car a numb expression on your face, your head bowed your body covered in blood and dirt hands trembling slightly. You were still shirtless, bra hanging on by only one strap but that was the least of your worries. You barely noticed as the familiar boots came into view, the man soon sitting beside you your eyes catching onto his hands covered in dried blood his wedding ring coated in the crimson liquid your eyes remaining locked on it momentarily before you looked away again. “Are you okay?” Those words left his lips so compassionately yet you could hear the tiredness in his voice. He didn’t need someone else to worry about.

“Fine.” You murmured back tiredly ricks eyes boring into you as he studied you carefully, he was an ex sheriff for gods sake he wasn’t dumb… he could sniff a lie out immediately. But really was anyone okay nowadays? “Hey” he reached his hand out grabbing onto your hand gently his grip tender and you slowly looked at him feeling gross. You could still feel the man’s hands on your body… groping you. “He touched me rick.” You whimpered feeling pathetic but you trusted him. Deeply. You knew you could talk to him without being judged. “I can feel his hands everywhere.” Tears stung your eyes as finally a few trailed down your cheeks leaving pale marks down your mud covered cheeks, Rick didn’t know what to say. What could he say? He however didn’t think much on it, instead giving your hand a squeeze. “I won’t let that happen ever again. Im sorry y/n.” He spoke tenderly and you glanced at him tired eyes locking with his and you only shook your head. “Not your fault.” You assured calmly yet emotionally, Rick didn’t speak for a moment or two before he eventually stood up. You believed he was going to leave but much to your surprise you watched as he removed his jacket, extending a hand out towards you as you slowly and timidly grabbed his hand. He pulled you up carefully before helping you put the jacket on, and once it was over you he leaned down slightly grabbing the ends of the jacket as he zipped it up for you until the zip dangled just below your neck before he stood back up. “We’ll get moving as soon as Carl is awake. Don’t want to risk running into anymore folk like that…” he spoke and you nodded silently, expecting him to walk off which he did at first before pausing turning to look at you “again I’m sorry.” He paused momentarily before walking back to you and much to your gratefulness and surprise he pulled you in for an abrupt hug, holding you for a solid 50 seconds before he pulled away hands resting on your shoulders “we’ll be alright.” He reassured searching your eyes that held doubt and worry and you gulped heavily before nodding. He then pulled away, “Rick” you murmured shakily making him pause as he looked back at you “pinky promise?” You held your pinky out for him watching as he glanced down at your pinky outstretched for his and he smiled slightly before nodding, stepping back towards you his pinky locking with yours “I pinky promise that we’ll be alright y/n.” He spoke whilst looking into your eyes. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you or carl ever again.” The look in his eyes saying that much… he was going to protect you and his family until his last dying breath.

[amazon160]

The Spot/Ohnn x Reader

Reader’s long lost bf just walks up to her apartment after a few months of being announced dead :)

Knock, knock.

Your feet pitter-pattered to the apartment door. It was almost midnight. Something had to be up; no one showed up at your place at midnight. You slid your body against the door to peak through the door viewer. And you have to get a double take of what you’re seeing.

A white man-no, not like racially a white man, A LEGIT PURE BLEACH WHITE MAN-stood just outside your door. He had a pear of sweats, a long sleeve tie dye shirt and a funky looking hat that did a lousy job at covering his lack of a face. The replacement for this lack of face was a large, black, lonely dot. You stared. And you felt that you had a right to stare for this guy thinking to come to your door out of all doors. Why couldn’t the neighbors handle this?? Why’d he have to pick out your door?

At this point, costumed people running around Brooklyn to cause problems was a common sight. Luckily, the problems never occurred, or at least escalated, because of the new Spider-Man. You had mixed feelings on the man after leaving the Spider-hater society that was Alchemax. But, hey, as long as he doesn’t come down to bother you like this loser you were chill.

Speaking of.

The loser was fidgeting with his hands. His whole body radiated awkwardness and anxiety. The black spot on his face seemed to match his mannerisms as it got bigger and smaller. He would straighten up, turn around to see if anyone was coming, then look back at your door and resume his anxious posture as the spot shrank once again.

As intriguing as it was to watch, you had to get this guy out. You wondered if Spider-Man had some kind of “bat signal”, but you quickly discarded the thought. Maybe if you went to bed and ignored the guy, he’d leave you alone.

. . .

He did not.

He kept knocking at your door for half an hour straight. You covered your head with your pillow, fighting the urge to go up to him in person and smack the spot off his “face”. Then it stopped altogether. It puzzled you. But then you heard the floorboards outside your bedroom creak.

You kept yourself perfectly still to try and pretend you were asleep. Not that it would help you, anyway. Maybe if he was there to rob you, and you didn’t witness the crime, he wouldn’t hurt you. But if he was there to hurt you…well, he was already at your room’s only exit. Even if you had the guts to run, you wouldn’t make it.

The man seemed to creep closer and closer to your bed. Your heart beat picked up, your breathing stuttering some. You creased your eyebrows, just a tad, like how--at least in your experience--you’d see someone do when they were in a nightmare. The floorboards stopped making any noise, which indicated that he had stopped. But he stopped right next to your back. You could feel him lean over you and you tried your very hardest not to break into a sprint right then and there. Or just sock him cold. Unexpected.

“I’m sorry, Y/N…” he whispered. Your heart dropped. Was he going to hurt you…?

Nothing happened still. He walked away. How did he know your name? There was something familiar about his voice, but you couldn’t put it together.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there--er, here. I missed you so, so much.” Did he know you were awake? “I know you can’t hear me, but…,” that answered your question. “…I don’t care, I’d like to apologize. I miss you. I miss spending time with you. Not just on the Friday nights, but even just taking a walk around the block. It always made my day just to see you. Even for only an hour or so. I miss the comfort in your voice, the way you stutter when you get angry with me, the times that you just jumped up on me from behind to scare the crap out of me, just for the heck of it. I know I always said I hated it, but. Well, yeah, I did. But now I…kind of miss it. It’s just part of the experience, I suppose. And as much as I miss that experience, I would rather have you think I’m dead than have to see me like this. I would rather have you think we had no chance to begin with than to be stuck thinking we had the chance, but it was taken away.

I miss you, and I love you, Y/N. Maybe I’ll…maybe I’ll see you around…” you heard him approach your bed, then stop. He paused. Then you heard a pop next to the bedroom entrance, perfectly in sync with your realization. As he began to walk towards the exit, you shuffled over in your bed. You couldn’t let this opportunity pass.

“Wait,” you choked out nervously. The man jumped up and his soul left his body momentarily. He yelped and covered his mouth, or where it would be. He stood there, completely still. The only movement coming from him was his hyperventilating you could hear even from your bed. Behind the man was a black…splotch? Just hanging there in the air? You didn’t question it. You shifted again and slipped out of the covers. The man squeaked and started running for the splotch.

“Johnny!!” You blurted out. The man stopped. He turned around slowly. The black dot on his face was runny, in a way. Like it had water droplets mixing in and dripping down his face, like tears.

“What…?”

“Is it..you? Jonathon Ohnn?” Man, that name was such a pain to pull out of your throat. You started getting choked up over your words just from uttering it. “You came over every Friday night and…and-and we set up a-a pillow fort with my iPad in the corner over there for movie nights.” You held up your shaky hand to the corner of your bedroom where there was now a new desk to fill the space.

“A-And you insisted on watching Revenge of The Sith almost every time, but I would..I-I would..”

“You always said that I should watch The Phantom Menace first.”

“Because I’d never let anyone skip to the end of a trilogy. You know how I felt about you skipping the second How to Train Your Dragon.” His voice was low, quiet. It sounded strained beyond relief, but it finally broke into a sad chuckle after hairs last remark.

“JOHNNY!!!” You broke. You had shattered into pieces. You didn’t care how, and you didn’t care why. That man was Jonathon Ohnn. You sobbed and ran to your “deceased” partner, practically tripping over yourself as you wrapped your arms around his torso. His long, lanky arms wrapped around you tightly. Luckily, the man still towered over you. He bent down and curled on top of you, pulling your head into his chest. You tightened your hold and felt your legs start to buckle in. Jon bent down alongside you and suddenly, you two were sobbing messes on the floor.

You laid in Jon’s lap until your sobbing finally calmed down a bit. It was a miracle it did. I mean. The man who was once the love of your life. Had come back from the dead. It wasn’t an everyday truth to be told, but you were grateful for it. You gripped onto Jon as if you’d be ripped part again if you dared to let go.

Eventually, you took up the courage to take your head off of his chest and look up at him. He tried his best to look away, but you grabbed his cheeks and kept him in place for you. You stared at what Jon had become…he seemed so shameful of it, it broke your heart.

“I-I’m a f-frea-eak..” Jon’s voice broke hundreds of times over as he tried to force out those three words. Your face felt hot and steamy from your sobbing, but you brushed it off. You put on the best angry face you could.

“Do you think I give a shit, Jonathon?” You kept a steady grip on the man’s face and tugged him closer to you. “I fell in love with you because of how much of an adorable nerd you were. You were so SWEET. And you are so KIND, and nerdy, and hilariously sassy and awkward. You listen to me in my most annoying hours. You are the one person I feel safe to be around and to truest express myself. I loved your hair. I loved your face. But those were just the bonuses. I love you for your damn personality, Jonathon, and you shouldn’t sell yourself any shorter th-than, you! Than y-you a-a-a-r-rre…” your voice broke once again and Jon gave you another hug.

“I-I thought you-ou w-w-were…GONE..!!” You choked out. Your throat burned. You didn’t want to talk. But you needed to make a point.

You broke the hug once again and kissed Jon’s face just below his inky spot. He jerked back a second then just sat there, taken back at your gesture until he wrapped his arms around you once again. His hands found their way to feel around your back.

“You know I can’t exactly kiss you anymore, right?” Jon coughed up a laugh. You remembered humor being a coping mechanism of his and pulled barely an inch away from his face.

“Does it look like I give a shit, Jon?”

[randomflower-in-a-field]

So it is very much possible to be as oblivious as Adrien Agreste

Example no 1: I met up with a group of friends at a park one time (years ago). As I got out of the car, one of my friends (let's call him Forest) came running up to meet me in a very overexaggerated, goofy manner. I could not stop smiling at him and people told me it looked like I was making heart eyes. But in my head, I was like 'Oh my gosh he's so cute and such a good friend.'

MY HEART LITERALLY WENT CRAZY WHENEVER I WAS AROUND HIM FOR YEARS AND I ONLY THOUGHT OF HIM AS "JUST A FRIEND." I am ashamed to admit those were my exact words at the time.

Example no 2: When I got my first phone I asked for Forest's number, but there wasn't any paper to write it down on and I didn't have my phone on me at the time. So, he dug through his backpack looking for any scrap of paper he could find (even though I told him it was fine), and then proceeded to slowly write each number down legibly and then triple check he wrote it down correctly. Oh and then when he handed the piece of paper to me he kissed it... I legit thought he only thought of me as a friend. (I still have that piece of paper)

Example no 3: His sister flat-out told me that Forest had a crush on me... Multiple times... I didn't believe her because I thought there was no possible way he could like me.

Example no 4: I mentioned I was cold so he took off his jacket and handed it to me. At that point, I had finally realized my feelings for him, but I thought he didn't feel the same way about me... HE HAD BEEN STANDING OUT IN THE COLD LONGER THAN I HAD BEEN AND WAS LEGIT TRYING NOT TO SHIVER.

Example no 5: He flat-out told me he liked me and my first response was "Oh, like as a friend?" THAT IS THE ACTUAL QUOTE!!! AKGNASDKGNERKF

Anyways, I have like a million more examples of my obliviousness those are just some highlights. But yeah, Adrien Agreste level obliviousness does exist and I don't even have the excuse of having a crush on Forest's alter ego.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Im literally high off dance mom/dad bill rn 😪 but imagine like reader forgets her solo on stage but it was like when Maddie forgot hers, like the dance teacher was crying and the other moms where like “When my kid forgot her solo you didn’t cry 👩” OML I IMAGINE HIM HAVING BEEF WITH ALL THE MOMS THERE 💀😭

(oh, heck yeah! Its Bill of course he is. Anyways, enjoy!)

Dance!Mom!Bill Kaulitz

Oh for damn sure he is beefing with every moment

He may have a friend or two but if they say shit about you he cuts them off

He defends every child there when they get torn down

He gives them their own pep talk because the actions of a mother shouldmt be taken out on a child

Especially if a child messes up, they're kids

He always reminds you that if you mess up it's okay

He says do your best and try again and even if you don't, he's still proud of you for trying

He's that type of father and he is very proud of that

He is always proud of you

He knows how hard you worked when practicing your solo but you were under a lot of stress and Bill could very much so tell

He was telling you to take a break but he didn't want to stress you out

He let you be, and still encoueaged you

But when you got on stage he was always watching and so so proud

But then his heart like dropped when you stopped and ran off stage

He was more confused and worried than upset or disappointed

He could never be those to you

He just went to you to see if you were okay and he felt his heart crack because his baby was crying!

He would never want you to cry so obviously he's in parent mode

He's telling you it's okay, and that you did your best and you could try again

Even if they said you couldn't try again his ass is about to throw down for you

But nonetheless, you did try again and let me tell you he couldn't have been prouder from the wings!!

He was so happy for you and he was in awe watching his child dance

But still even after you got off he was so worried if you were upset

Back in the dressing room he was bombarded with being attacked and questions

He saw your dance teacher upset, and maybe even crying which shocked Bill

Then the moms opened their fucking mouth and ruined the moment of your dance teacher saying it was okay and hugging you

He legit wanted to shut them the fuck up

He cares about their children but he couldn't help but snap back at their mothers to shut up

To leave you alone and crap

Not everything is about you ladies

Yeah, he sees it's unfair and he doesn't want that to happen but he can only do so much and he wants you to be stress free

And that stuff stresses you out when they open their mouths

So of course he's beefing

He will always beef with someone if it means you're okay and happy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@billsjum6ie @bigbootahjudy @ilovebill-and-gustav @r3dheadedw0rld @kiwitsune @V4mpyboyy @novaaisstupid @billybabeskaulitz @yas-v @iischafer @dilfverz @ahswhore0 @graciegizmo3184 @sweetpuffy12 @80s-tingz @ryiana @yuriayato5 @bunnysenpai31 @banshailey @bellastoner420 @victryzvv9 @stxngnr @killed-kiss @stilesandjames @m00nzyblogs @sylisan @lyzit @trixiekaulitz @laylasbunbunny @5hyslv7 @limaswife

[deathofacupid]

i love you peter b. parker | peter parker

pure angst. that's it lololol

summary: you knew you wouldn't be around forever, and you wanted to leave a piece of you behind for him.

i had this idea in mind for some time but i'm only now just writing it but fr i legit almost cried writing this

we love delulu peter

tw: sad peter

angst (for me) isn't easy to write, but i tried my best here. did you like it???

he knew you were sick, he knew you would leave. but it never really hit him that you would be gone someday, that is, until you were gone. terminal kidney disease wasn't fun, and it most definitely wasn't easy. it didn't matter though, because as long as you had peter by your side, you were sure that nothing would go wrong. that you'd be able to fight through it, because the love of your life was fighting alongside you.

peter was always used to saving everyone, so he felt so utterly useless when he found out. he tried to make you as happy as possible, and to help you do everything that you wanted to do most, and make the most of the time you had left.

he remembered the day he asked you out, and you warned him about the sickness, that you wouldn't be here forever, and that one day, he would have to leave you. no, that you would have to leave him.

but peter being peter hadn't thought that far into the future. he was only 16. he didn't know that he'd grow so attached to you, that you become the one for him.

no. that thought had never occurred.

you had passed in your sleep, at least, age 19. it pained him so much to think about everything you had in store for you.

everything we had.

a life, a future, just waiting.

for all he knew, you were his life. you were his future. so how would he go on? how would he do anything without you? especially when you were his everything?

peter stood next to his aunt, clad in all black, watching your mother scream and cry into your father's shoulder, repeatedly begging for you to come back. he watched her lean down next to the coffin and kiss your hair, whispering sweet nothings. the boy wasn't sure if he'd be able to look at you, to say his goodbyes. because it didn't feel real to him. you couldn't be gone. how could you be gone?

"go, peter," aunt may whispered. "you'll regret it if you don't," her voice was fragile, and he could her the pain in her voice.

"no, no, no, i-i can't-"

"you'll regret it if you don't," she repeated.

so with shaky hands and a heavy heart, he walked over to the black box. there you laid, and he tried to convince himself that you were sleeping.

just sleeping.

he got down on his knees and and looked at you. your hair was perfectly laid out, nails freshly painted. the smallest bit of makeup was on you, but you were a deathly pale. your eyes were closed, but he'd give anything to see those gorgeous hues again, lit up by the liveliness behind them.

"hi, angel," he whispered softly, a strangled sob rising up his throat. "your mom is crying. you should wake up now. didn't we talk about getting more sleep at night? so you wouldn't fall asleep all the time during the day?"

peter chuckled quietly. "baby, i remember that time you fell asleep in mr. nester's class. and you snored? it was so cute. and funny. but mostly cute. they're soft and quiet, but if you're listening, you can hear it. your snores are adorable, you know that? it's hilarious because you always say you don't, y/n, but you do. always. yeah. you always snore. why- why aren't you right now? y-y/n?" he asked, panic creeping in through his words. "why aren't you?"

"y/n? y/n? angel? b-baby, wake up, wake up, it isn't funny anymore, stop it, j-just wake up now, please. please!" he was shaking you now, making the coffin rattle. "aunt may? s-she won't wake up! may! please, wake her up... she- she isn't..." he went off again, murmuring things to himself, all incoherent. "i love you! i lo-love you, y/n!"

they had to drag him away.

months later, he wasn't any better. he could hear aunt may at night sometimes, talking on the phone.

"it wasn't like this with ben," a pause, "no, dr. winston," another pause, "he talks to himself. stays up all night. talks to himself, dr., and not even in the way you might see a little kid doing... no... y-... he always looks scared," peter stopped paying attention at that point. "yes, thursday is fine. thank you."

no, he thought angrily, he didn't need a doctor. not some psychiatrists or psychologists. he needed you. but when he closed his eyes and saw may's pained face, he thought that he'd give it a try. for her. for you, right?

then, it had been a year. he was doing a little better, but barely. peter ate more. slept more. had less nightmares.

but he still didn't have you.

some nights he would stand on the top of his apartment building, right on the ledge, and debate ending it all. that way, he could be with you. and then he remembered may. and ned. and mj. how they'd already lost you, and how they didn't need more grief. those nights he'd go back into his flat and lock himself in his room, crying the rest of the night.

another year passed, and he stood in front of your house. your parents were finally cleaning out your old room, and they'd asked him to come over and see if there was anything he'd wanted. they let him in, giving hugs and greetings. peter trudged up the stairs and into your room. he closed his eyes and inhaled, remembering your loving scent.

but he didn't cry. he'd already done that. peter had no tears left. he was empty. numb.

as he analyzed the room, he saw many boxes, and noted that the bed was gone. some frames were still up, and many decorations were removed. on the dresser there was a photo of you and peter. your head was thrown up as you laughed, and peter was staring lovingly at you. it was a picture that neither of you knew was taken, but when you saw it, it became your favorite.

he'd told a lame joke, and you'd laughed. no one else laughed at his jokes, which was one of the reasons he fell in love with you. here, you were at the carnival with peter, ned, and mj. it was a blurry, side-angle picture, slightly grainy as the lighting was terrible. ned had taken it, and while it wasn't the greatest quality, you had adored it, repeatedly thanking him.

peter sat down and pulled the nearest box closer to him, taking out the first item he grabbed. a purple... journal? there was "to peter parker, the love of my life" written on the front cover in sharpie.

your handwriting.

your. handwriting.

he carefully flipped to the front page.

never mind. he did have tears left to cry.

entry 1:

okay, yes, i know, this is silly. and i doubt you'll ever have to read this, but if you are, it means i'm not here anymore, or that you're going through my stuff again without my permission. in which case, put this down.

he felt tears cascade down his cheek, and he sniffled softly.

peter b. parker, i love you. i have loved you since the day that you bought me that coke when i was a quarter short. luckily, you loved me, too, and now we're together. i wanted to do this because i know i won't be around forever. and before i die (if i do) i want to give you a piece of me, and this is how i'll do it.

i love you, peter b. parker.

he flipped to the next page.

entry 2:

in a world of endemic sickness, where cruelty is the cause and love the antidote, the patients declare themselves doctors and seal the fate of the world.

i love you, peter b. parker.

so he kept reading.

entry 6:

because your love is so whole, my missing pieces appear. because your touch carries such passion, what was scarred becomes soft once more. because you are steady and patient, my open wounds have time to seal and vanish.

perhaps that is why they say love is such magic, this gift from the universe, this sweet addiction to the man i was born to find. for with my twin soul, the only other born in the same flame as i, we are able to bathe one other in warmth and light as easily as we breathe, immune and oblivious to darkness.

i love you, peter b. parker.

entry 14:

i love you like you're the last of my kind. it is as if you speak the same language as i, yet no other is able. to be around you is like finally not being alone - as if all my life i've been isolated, in a windowless room, in a doorless room...

and then suddenly you walk in as if strolling over a summer meadow. how is that you are so much more than sunshine? how is it you breathe life when no other can? why is it you are my medicine? who could love me more than you? so, my love, know this - while i breathe i am yours in mind, body and soul.

i love you, peter b. parker.

entry 27:

you said that meeting me wasn't like a new song, but like opening a book and finding a language you'd never seen before. i want you know that i feel the same way. your love is something beautiful; meeting you is like meeting an enigma.

i don't know how you exist in this world yet you do. so let me tell you now - i will always love you in mind, body and soul. you are the trap i've been wanting to fall into my whole life; liberty from you would simply be an infinite prison. i am the softness you seek and you are the cradle for my head and heart.

i love you, peter b. parker.

entry 42:

love quotes inspire, golden strands of truth in an age of cynicism. yet for me they can never adequately capture the strands of emotion that tumble through the air whenever my my heart turns to you.

love after all transcends time, distance and even mortality. love is the greatest wonder of our age, weightless and invisible as it is. the wordsmith brings a beauty to the love, elevates it yet sometimes this very pedestal brings us to romantic notions too heady for ordinary life.

i love you like the nascent leaves of spring love warmth; i love you like the ancients loved the night sky; i love you like a cool draught of water on a summers day. love cannot be fireworks for an entire lifetime, though we've had our share. love must flow quietly, peacefully, always remaining strong.

love is nothing like finance, we don't give a certain amount to get something back; we simply give. love doesn't lead us to chide or sulk when we feel the lack of it from our partner. it shows us how to bring life and fire back to their soul, to love them back to their true selves and wellness. so, do i adore quotations of love? i do; but for me love is more... it is the greatest power we can ever know. anything else is a cruel and empty distraction.

i love you, peter b. parker.

he let himself get lost in your words, in your love, paying no attention to anything else.

entry 136:

if any one moment in time anchored my soul, creating a tether to this plane of reality, it was the moment i fell in love with you. i realized that i had a protector born of pure love and how could i not love that? how could i not love all that you are? you are the rope and knot to this vessel now in safe mooring. for that, i will forever be yours. in these words i hope you find your truth.

i love you, peter b. parker.

entry 200:

i love you, peter b. parker.

and that was the last page. he took two things home that day. the photo and the journal.

"i love you, too, angel," he whispered on his way back home, to no one really. maybe to the wind, but either way, he knew you heard it.