#when having a tidy living space relieves many symptom

[boeing747]

manifesting how beautiful and organized my room is going to be after i organize it and make it beautiful

[ladyfogg]

May I? - 4/?

May I? - 4/?

Fic Summary: Ensign Faith Diaz struggles to hide her mental illness from her fellow shipmates aboard the Enterprise until an intrigued Data goes out of his way to try to understand her behavior. At his insistence, Faith tries to figure out what she’s truly passionate about and eventually seeks the professional help she needs. Fic Masterpost.

Fic Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Data/Female OC

Warnings: tw: depression, tw: anxiety, fluff, friends to lovers, eventual smut

Faith had spent the last forty-eight hours in her quarters. Her conversation with Data had put her at ease and gave her the chance to actually get rest. She slept some, ate a little, and avoided Dr. Crusher. The doctor had reached out for a follow-up but Faith didn't respond. Her headache had subsided to a dull throb and no other symptoms emerged, so she wasn't too worried about it.

She had just laid down for another nap when her door buzzed. It took her a moment to process that someone was actually there to see her. Pushing her crazy hair into a bun, she sat up and tried to make herself look presentable.

"Come in."

The door opened and Counselor Troi cautiously stepped in. She looked around until she spotted Faith in the bedroom. "Hi, Faith. I'm sorry, did I wake you? Is now a good time?"

There was a small feeling of disappointment within, which surprised Faith. It was almost as if she had expected it to be someone else.

"Oh, no I was just resting." She swung her legs over the side of the bed, suddenly acutely aware of how grungy she felt and probably looked. "Is there something I can do for you, Counselor?"

"Dr. Crusher said you may want to talk," Deanna said. "You haven't answered her messages so she asked me to stop by."

Damn it, Dr. Crusher! 

The woman was too kind and smart for her own good. Faith was more than a little annoyed. She had seen a counselor when she was a teenager and it had not gone well. But she had no quarrel with Deanna personally. In fact, she overheard nothing but good things about her. However, that did little to change her mind on the subject.

"Please, have a seat," Faith said, remembering her manners.

Deanna smiled and took a seat on the couch while Faith forced herself out of bed to join her. The Betazoid looked around and Faith knew she was taking note of the lack of personal belongings and decoration. Not to mention the clothes strewn across the floor and dishes left in various locations.

"I'm sorry about the mess. Had I known I was having company I would have tidied up a little."

Waving a dismissive hand, Deanna's smile remained. "No judgments from me. My own quarters have been in much worse shape on many occasions."

I seriously doubt that. She could not imagine the cheque and put-together counselor being messy in any capacity.��

"I assume you know why I'm here," Deanna said.

"And I assume you know how I feel about it."

Deanna chuckled in amusement. "Yes, Dr. Crusher mentioned you may not be so happy about my appearance. So why don't we talk about it?"

Faith sighed heavily, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I can't believe Dr. Crusher sent you to check up on me," she mumbled, more to herself than Deanna.

"She's worried about you. I am too."

"Only because it's your job."

Deanna smiled kindly. "That is not the only reason. I do this job because I care. But I don't want you to feel pressured. If you'd rather not talk, we don't have to. But I hope you consider."

Faith took a deep breath. "I'm not good at it."

"Talking?"

"Talking about myself. There's really nothing very interesting about me."

"Now I find that very hard to believe."

"Everyone says that. They're always proven wrong."

"I see. How so?"

Deanna's eyes softened and the concern in them was enough to make Faith look away. She hated people being concerned about her. There were already so many things that made her anxious, the thought that she caused someone distress or concern for her health only made her feel worse.

"I told Dr. Crusher I didn't want to see you," she said, avoiding Troi's question.

"I know. It's why I'm here," Deanna said. "Sometimes when we don't want to talk about our feelings is when we need to the most."

Faith remained silent. Deanna waited patiently, but when she didn't say anything, the counselor continued. "Would it help if I told you a little bit about myself first?"

"You can if you like."

"Alright then," Deanna said. "Let's see. I'm half Betazoid, half-human. I've been doing this job for quite a while. And I love chocolate. Your turn."

Faith snorted. "I feel like I'm the new kid in class again and the teacher is making me introduce myself."

"Did you move around a lot when you were a child?"

"Nice try."

Deanna grinned. "I had to at least make an attempt."

Faith considered the situation and how she felt about Deanna's presence. There was something comforting about her, yet Faith was not remotely ready to start sharing her life story. "I appreciate the effort. But...I'm just not ready. Not now. I-I don't think I can share..."

"Then we don't have to," Deanna stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. "How about we get out of here and go for a walk instead? Get something to eat."

Faith looked down at her sweaty pajamas and back up at Deanna. "Er...I'm not exactly ready to be seen by human eyes." She paused. "Full-human eyes."

Deanna laughed. "Fine. You freshen up and we'll go to Ten Forward. Does that sound good?"

Faith hadn't been to Ten Forward yet. She knew it was where most people went to unwind and had avoided it due to her aversion to crowds. She also didn't like the thought of going by herself. The idea of her sitting alone at the bar was too sad, even for her. However, going with someone probably wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. 

"Okay, I think I can do that," she said, placing her feet on the floor. "Excuse me for a moment."

Deanna motioned for Faith to go ahead. "I'll wait."

After a hot shower and changing into fresh clothes, Faith came back into the living room to find Deanna had gathered the dishes for her and put them back in the replicator to be disposed.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that," Faith said, embarrassed. She removed her hair from the wet towel and began to hastily run a comb through it. Normally she didn't bother but she figured if she was going to be seen by people, she might as well make the effort.

"It was no trouble," Deanna insisted. "Every little bit helps. Speaking of…" She watched Faith wince as she caught a tangle. "Would you like some with your hair?"

"Oh. Um. Sure."

Faith sat while Deanna gently worked the knots out of her long brown hair. It was strange at first, yet oddly soothing. 

"You have beautiful hair," Deanna commented. "The natural waves are lovely. Mine is so curly it drives me crazy at times."

"Thanks." Faith frowned. "You're not exactly what I expected."

"Oh really? How so?"

"Well, I doubt most counselors offer to take you to dinner, clean your dishes, then help you with your hair."

Deanna laughed. "Don't think of me as your counselor then. Think of me as your friend. After all, you haven't agreed to talk with me yet so technically you're not a client."

Faith chuckled herself. "Playing the long con, aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you mean," Deanna said in a far too innocent tone and sweet smile.

After Deanna worked out the tangles and helped Faith braid her hair, the two women set off. Faith had kept the lights dim in her quarters so the brightness of the corridor actually blinded her for a moment. 

When she winced, Deanna asked, "How's your head?"

"It's fine. I'm still a little sensitive to light but at least the headaches have subsided." 

They began to walk and Faith realized that if she hadn't been injured she'd be in Engineering right at that moment. It suddenly felt almost like she was skipping school. 

"It's strange not to be working," Faith said as they passed numerous people in their crisp Starfleet uniforms. She wore comfortable black pants and a thick sweater, which felt off compared to everyone else. "I feel like I should be doing something ."

"Resting is doing something," Deanna said, slipping her arm around Faith's shoulders. "Your body needs to recover and if you don't let it, you'll only hurt yourself more."

"Logically I know that. I can't help but feel useless though."

"I know. Just take it a day at a time. If today all you can do is take care of yourself, then it's a good day."

"Can you really sense what people are feeling?" Faith asked. "I know I joked about it before but I always wondered if it was true or just a rumor."

"Sometimes," Deanna answered. "It's not always clear, especially if the person doesn't know how they feel."

"That must be exhausting. Always feeling what other people do."

"Not really. I'm used to it, it's a part of me." She let go of Faith as they entered the lift. "Ten Forward, please." The lift began to move and the two women fell into silence.

Faith could feel Deanna studying her and she wondered what the Betazoid sensed. She almost asked but decided against it. Hearing her own emotions described verbally would make them all too real. At least keeping them locked up tight gave Faith some control. Or so she told herself.

When they reached Ten Forward, Faith was relieved to see it wasn't as busy as she thought it would be. Most people were separated into small groups, several even sat alone, reading from their PADDs or staring out at the vastness of space.

"Where would you like to sit?" Deanna asked.

Faith looked around and spotted a table tucked away in the corner and nodded toward it. "There is perfect."

They made their way over and Faith took the seat with her back to the wall, giving her a sense of security. 

"It's nice in here," she admitted.

Deanna smiled as she looked around. "I think so too. It's a wonderful place to come and socialize. Maybe even make new friends."

"Subtle," Faith commented with a quirked eyebrow.

Deanna smirked back. "Sometimes subtly is overrated."

A dark-skinned woman in robes of deep purple with a large circular hat glided up to the table, a kind smile gracing her flawless features. "Well, hello there, I don't believe we've met."

"Guinan, this is Ensign Faith Diaz," Deanna said, introducing her companion. "Faith, this is Guinan. Ten Forward is her domain."

"It's pretty great," Faith said, extending her hand, which Guinan accepted. "Pleased to meet you."

"And you as well. Can I get either of you anything?" Guinan asked.

"Chocolate sundae," Deanna said immediately. "With chocolate ice cream—"

"Chocolate chips and hot fudge," Guinan finished, making Deanna smile. "And for you, Faith?"

"Oh, um...I'm not sure," Faith winced. "I need something substantial but not too filling."

Guiana gave her a knowing smile and raised her hand to cut her off. "Say no more, I have just the thing. Be right back."

Faith sat tense in her seat, eyes darting around the room. Without realizing it, her breathing began to grow shallow. Deanna noticed and reached out to place a comforting hand on her arm. 

"Try taking deep breaths in and exhaling slowly," she suggested in a low, calm voice. "Try to block everything else out."

It took Faith a few tries before she could manage, taking too many sharp inhales before she got the hang of it. Deanna patiently led her through the exercise until Faith's shoulders relaxed.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"You're very welcome," Deanna said.

At that moment, the doors opened and Data entered Ten Forward. Remembering his kindness, Faith couldn't help but smile to herself. Deanna noticed and followed her gaze, surprised when she saw who Faith was staring at.

Data was greeted by several people who he responded to with a stiff wave. His golden eyes scanned the room and when they landed on Faith, he immediately headed towards her table.

"Counselor Troi, Faith," he said by way of greeting. "I hope I am not interrupting."

"Not at all," Deanna said smiling. "Would you care to join us?"

"Yes, please." Data took the chair across from Faith as Guinan arrived with food. 

"Ice cream for the counselor," Guinan said, placing the dish in front of Deanna. "And, glazed salmon with greens and rice for the ensign."

The food looked amazing and smelled wonderful. Faith's stomach actually rumbled with interest and she picked up her fork.

"Thank you, Guinan."

"Think nothing of it. Hi, Data, can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you," Data answered.

She took her leave and when Faith looked back at Data, she was surprised to find him already staring at her.

"Are you feeling better from your injury?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks. Much better," Faith answered before taking a hesitant bite of her salmon. A slew of savory flavors met her taste buds and she was amazed a replicator could produce something so delicious.

"How is it?" Deanna asked, holding a large spoonful of ice cream.

"It's really good," Faith said, reaching for another bite. "Data, are you sure you don't want anything? I feel weird eating in front of you."

"I had my supplements already. I do not require much," he explained. "I actually came here to see you."

Faith almost choked on her food. "Me? Why me?" she asked, face growing hot. She was well aware of Troi's arched eyebrow and her look of amusement at Faith's reaction. 

The truth was, no one ever asked for Faith or came looking for her outside of Engineering. With Data being a senior officer, she was worried she may be in some kind of trouble. Did he change his mind about telling Geordi? Did he have more questions? Did he find something she missed? Something big?

She tried to remind herself none of those scenarios were very likely. However, anxiety could not be reasoned with.

"Two days ago Geordi found another object physically out of place like the one you found," Data explained. "I wanted to ask you if you had noticed others."

Faith allowed herself to relax. Curiosity replaced anxiety. "Not really, but things are still a little fuzzy. I guess I hit my head pretty hard."

"It'll come back to you," Deanna promised. "Just give it some time."

Faith acknowledged her with a smile. "I hope so. I'll think about it some more and see if anything jumps to mind. I do remember being confused because it was so random."

"I see," Data said with a frown.

"Do you think it was deliberate?" Deanna asked.

"It had to have been. It is highly unlikely two stations in Engineering were accidentally moved, especially given the weight of them."

"They're pretty heavy," Faith agreed.

Just then Commander Riker walked in and caught Deanna's attention. Troi smiled at him before turning back to Faith and Data. "I'll leave you two to talk Engineering," she said, picking up her ice cream as she stood. "Faith, let me know if you want to talk some more."

Huh. Faith realized Troi had gotten her to talk some. That sneaky Betazoid. "I will," she said. She even meant it. 

Deanna stepped away, leaving Faith and Data alone.

"Are you having sessions with Counselor Troi?" he asked.

"No!" Faith immediately denied. "Well, yes, sort of. I'm thinking about it."

"I have found her advice helpful myself if that sways your decision."

Faith smiled, intrigued. "You see Counselor Troi?"

"I see her weekly and have sought her counsel on many occasions. While I have been around humans for a long time, their behavior is still puzzling to me."

"Join the club," Faith muttered.

"There is a club? I was not aware of this. Do they accept new members?"

Faith chuckled. "It's a saying. It means that you're not the only one who is puzzled by us. Humans confuse me too."

"In what way?"

"Too many to list right now." Faith took another bite of her food.

"When you are feeling better would you like to list them? I am curious to see if we are confused by the same things."

"Sure. Why not?"

Data offered a smile, staring at Faith as she ate. She got the distinct impression that he was studying her but she wasn't sure why.

"Was there something else you wanted to talk about?" she asked.

"May I ask a personal question?"

"You may but I might not answer it."

"Understood. I have not seen you in Ten Forward before. Do you wish to begin to socialize more?"

Faith considered his question as she gazed around the room. More people had wandered in since she arrived and the air buzzed with conversation.

"Maybe," she said after a moment. "I think today was Troi's successful attempt to get me out of my quarters for a little while. I might make it a habit."

"That would be a wise decision," Data said with a nod. "From what I understand, prolonged isolation does not help one's mental health."

"So it would seem," Faith sighed. "I have a hard time with crowds. However, I do have trouble sleeping. This may be a good place to go when I wake up in the middle of the night." She winced. "Although there probably won't be much socializing then either."

"I can accompany you if that would help."

Faith was surprised by his offer. "That's very kind of you, but you really don't have to."

"I enjoy speaking with you. It will be no trouble."

"I suppose without needing sleep you have a lot more time on your hands than we do."

"While it is true I do not require sleep, I often shut down for certain periods in the evening so that I may dream."

"You dream?" Faith asked, in awe.

Data nodded with a pleased smile. "It is a recent program that was activated quite by accident. It has been most intriguing."

"I bet. I haven't had a dream in months," she said. "If that's the case, I really don't want to impose on your dream time."

"As I said, it will be no trouble," Data assured her. "I can activate my dream program whenever I choose. Should you need an escort to Ten Forward in the evenings, I will gladly offer my services."

Faith allowed herself another smile. "As long as you don't mind, then I think I will take you up on your offer. Now, let's talk about the consoles in Engineering. What theories have you got so far?"

"There is insufficient evidence to make a clear hypothesis, however…"

Several tables away, Deanna watched the two with amusement. She could feel the shift in Faith's mood and see the life come back to her as she became engrossed in what Data was saying. Slowly she grew more at ease and seemed to have no trouble holding the conversation.

It was fascinating and incredibly sweet.

"What's going on over there?" Riker asked, following her line of sight as he stole a scoop of ice cream. 

"I don't know," Deanna admitted. "But I'm curious to see where it leads."

[compassionatereminders]

My mother hasn't been pushing the meditation thing as aggressively as I thought she would! She's been distracted by building a garden XD So far, so good. I'm doing great in quarantine: working on my classes, keeping my space tidy, petting my Pupper 💜 I'm resting a lot and feeling pretty good physically. I feel so good I'm going to bake a loaf of banana bread this weekend :D There are lots of happy things to be happy about lately, at least where I am.💙 Do you have any happy things, Kat? - Miimo

I’m glad your mom has found something to do which doesn’t include you having to sacrifice your mental health to make her happy! That’s great! I’m very relieved to hear you’re still doing okay - and banana bread is always an awesome idea, so best of luck with that! I am also doing surprisingly okay, actually, so I’ll list 5 happy things for you:

1. That both my parents and my boyfriends parents (both of us are currently living with out parents) are okay with us seeing each other occasionally despite the quarantine. I would be very understanding if they wanted me to stay at home till this is over, but they’ve all willingly consented to us seeing each other every once in a while as long as we aren’t seeing anyone else. So in a time where many people are missing their loved ones, I am very grateful that I still get to see my boyfriend every once in a while. (We’re obviously all practicing self-isolation and social distancing outside occasionally seeing each other, so it’s not that we are shitting on the recommendations altogether! Just wanted to make that clear.)

2. My daily walks with my mom are always one of the highlights of my day. Every day since this started my mom and me have been going for a walk together in the local park and it’s so nice to have a little walk and talk session in the sunshine and the fresh air. I’m grateful that I’m still allowed to leave my house and I am making the most of it (although we’re obviously being careful, staying out of crowds and keeping our distance to other people!)

3. That spring doesn’t give one flying fuck about COVID-19 turning our world upside down and that I get to see pretty little spring flowers, green leaves and sunshine despite all the shit going on in the world right now. 

4. That me and my family still have everything we need when it comes to food, money and other basic necessities. This crisis has made me immensely grateful for a lot of little things which I used to take for granted and that’s probably healthy. 

5.  That I am relatively stable and sane despite all of this and that I so far haven’t seen an increase in either psychotic symptoms or anxiety. I am honestly surprised by how well I’ve been managing this whole situation and how much moving back in with my parents has improved my mental health. I’m actually in many ways more stable than I was before this started, and I am very grateful for that. Having to handle a serious mental health crisis on top of everything else would be really hard, so I am glad my brain is cooperating for once.

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Lagom (V x MC)

*REWORKED VERSION*

THERE ARE NO V ROUTE SPOILERS IN THIS FANFIC - ALL CLEAR AHEAD!

It’s finally here!! It took so long but here is my second fanfic in my word series! It took so long because there was a lot of backwards and forwards and “is this right?” or “this is rubbish oml you can’t post this” soooo I think this is as good as it’s going to be haha, I hope you enjoy it! 

WARNINGS:

References to toxic/abusive relationships, but they're very subtle

Spoilers for Secret endings

No spoilers for V route - this also means that a lot of this is not canon (explained below)

NOTES:

This takes place after the secret endings, but in an AU where V does not die and MC never ends up in a romantic relationship with Seven. Rika has been sent away to seek professional help for her mental health, and is no longer in contact with the RFA.

lagom (n.): a Swedish word meaning not too little, not too much. Just right.

PART 1

“Right, I think we’re done.”

V scanned the apartment, squinting with the limited vision he had as checked one last time that the apartment was pristine. He was tidy by default, but today he was extra meticulous almost to the point of being obsessive. He needed everything to be perfect which, to be frank, was odd even for him. It was only MC who was visiting after all, and regrettably, she had seen a lot worse. He didn’t even need to invite her in the first place, he had only invited her to discuss a few things for the upcoming RFA party, even though everything was pretty much ready. What was he doing?

V had been living in Rika’s old apartment ever since she had gone. He told everyone that he ‘had some old documents he needed to sort through’, though Jumin was the first see right through his friend’s lies.

V had always had trouble with letting go. Ever since they were little he had collected and hoarded anything that help any sort of sentiment. Train tickets, stuffed animals, he even had a shoe box full of every birthday card he had ever received. Jumin often wondered if this was why V wanted to become a photographer, believing if he captured a moment, he could cling onto it forever. This meant that when Jumin had requested on more than one occasion that he move out of the apartment and accept the treatment for his eyes, on more than one occasion it hadn't ended terribly well.

V was never one to break in front of others, but his whole universe had just been turned upside down, inside out and back to front. His whole routine was altered, the structure beneath him collapsed and the foundation of his life had split in two, and nobody seemed to grasp that. People around him would just tell him ‘it was for the best’, that the relationship he and Rika had was ’toxic’, that they were ‘better off without each other’. Even though everything they were saying was true, nobody understood the guilt he carried upon his back, only watching from the outside.

His sun was gone, and he was left in an eclipse.

Well, not everybody misunderstood. There was one woman, one incredible woman. She spoke so softly but was honest, she practically oozed warmth but wasn’t afraid to call him out when it was necessary, and she listened to him. Never once did she try to throw her opinions on his and Rika’s relationship at him, nor did she ever judge him for his seemingly never-ending grief. She told him the truth, but never dismissed anything he told her or used the classic ‘but surely you should be happy now your free from her?’ line. Because he wasn't free, at least not then.

Gradually, the load that weighed him down got lighter, and it was because MC was with him every step of the way, never leaving his side unless he needed space. She was so patient, and that’s probably why V now trusted her so wholeheartedly.

Because it’s just trust, right? This feeling in his gut is just strong trust and admiration, right? Right?

DING DONG

Crap! V was so lost in thought that he had completely spaced out. Why did his chest feel like someone was trying to punch their way out? MC had come over so many times - usually in the early hours of the morning when he was at his lowest…God, she was so patient with him - but he had never felt this on edge before. Sure, he had been pretty highly strung when she had visited in the past, but she had never been the cause of it. What he didn’t know, however, is that sometimes you need to be highly strung to be in tune.

Shaking the thought away to deal with the task at hand, V inched towards the door, giving one last glance over the apartment and smoothing down his shirt. What was he doing?

Click.

“Hello, MC.”

* * *

MC rocked back on her heals, staring at the door in front of her. Just ring the doorbell, MC, for God’s sake, it’s not like it’s gonna bite. She had reached for it a few times, but never fully committed, always wussing out at the last moment. What was she doing?

She fixed her hair and straightened her top before wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans. She took a deep breath and mentally counted down. Okay, you’re gonna do this in 3…2…1…

DING DONG

Crap! Her heart dropped, realising that there was no turning back now. She had been to V’s apartment countless times before, but V had been doing a lot better recently so there was really no reason for her to visit. It was extremely unexpected when he had randomly texted her asking if she could pop over to ‘discuss some details for the upcoming RFA party’, even though she was pretty sure she had everything covered. Maybe there was something she had missed, but even that could be dealt with over a simple phone call. Why did he need to see her in person?

Part of her was relieved though, as she had always worried that when he got better, he would stop needing her. Her visits would become unnecessary and she wouldn't be able to see him as often and she once did. She would miss him. It was a selfish thought, yes, but she was worried that he would disappear from her life, that he was slipping through her fingers, leaving her behind-

Click

“Hello, MC.”

“Oh! Hello, V,” MC mentally scolded herself for the obvious increase of pitch in her voice, she was the one who rang the bell after all. She must look like such an idiot.

V gave her a warm smile, “Please, come in.”

Like the gentleman he is, he moved aside whilst holding the door open to welcome MC into the apartment. She felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her as she browsed the room she had spent so much time in over the years. There was the dining table where she had spent hours emailing potential party guests when she first joined the RFA, the coffee table she always stubbed her toe on when reading through the chatroom, and the little spot in the corner where she had held V in her arms when he couldn't find the strength within him to move and couldn't find the peace within him to sleep. She looked back proudly at the man as he shut the door behind her. He's come so far, she thought to herself.

“Can I get you a drink of anything? Tea? Coffee?”

“A cup of coffee would be lovely, thank you.”

“Sugar?”

“Two please.”

“No problem, if you would like to make yourself comfy I’ll be right back,” V smiled fondly at her, a smile that had never been absent, but seemed a little brighter than before.

MC placed herself on the couch, releasing a breath that had built up in her lungs. Why was she so agitated? She studied the apartment again, trying to fix her mind on something else. She noticed that nothing had changed or moved ever since she had lived there, everything was pretty much exactly the same. Though, upon inspection, it did look a little tidier than before.

* * *

V clicked the kettle on and started up the coffee machine before he finally let himself relax. Resting his hands on the counter and hunching over, he took a few deep breaths to ground himself. What was happening to him? He had had his fair share of anxiety attacks after everything that had happened in his life, and though the symptoms he was now experiencing were very similar, he didn’t feel like he was in danger, he didn’t feel an urge to run. In fact, something was calling at him to stay. His palms were sweating, his heart was racing, and his stomach was fluttering like there were thousands of butterflies- oh. So that was what butterflies felt like.

But why? Why was he only now realising what butterflies was supposed to feel like?

After a minute to gather himself together, V grabbed two white mugs from the cabinet and began making the coffee for MC and green tea for himself, though it took longer than it should have due to his poor sight and trembling hands.

One thing that he had refused to admit to himself was that he found himself thinking about MC a lot. Like, a lot. Even when he was doing such mundane things like washing the dishes, she wormed her way into his thoughts. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what he was feeling, but it was something, and that something was becoming harder and harder to ignore. He felt it when he thought about her voice, her laugh, her eyes, her touch-

His hands wobbled, clashing full mugs against each other with enough force for the boiling liquid slosh over the brim.

Dammit. Spilt the tea.

* * *

MC’s stomach did a little flip as V returned with their drinks and placed them on the coffee table before joining her on the couch.

“So, what was it exactly that you wanted to discuss?”

“Hm? Oh! Yes, um, it was about…”

And so they talked about the party, for around 10 minutes; but 7 hours, 6 cups of tea, 6 sugar cubes, 4 fits of giggles and one pizza delivery later, MC glanced at the clock above the TV only to discover that their little meeting had gone on for longer than either of them had originally intended, “Now, I don’t know if you’re aware, but we’ve been sat here for a very long time,” MC teased.

“Oh really? What time is it?” V returned with a small chuckle, blissfully unaware of how fast time had flown by.

“Just gone midnight.”

“What?! Oh my God, MC, I’m so so sorry, I shouldn’t have kept you this long!” he shot up, “I was just having such a lovely time I didn’t even consider how late it was getting. I can’t even see the damn clock! Oh, MC I’m really so sorry! I shouldn’t have been so selfish and irresponsible and at least asked if you wanted to leave-“

MC also stood up, arms out in an attempt to reassure the panicked man in front of her, “V no no no it’s okay! It’s not your fault-“

“I’ll call a cab for you, it’s too dangerous to walk home at this time-“

“V-“

“I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. Oh God, what if something happens to you because of me-“

“V-!“

“Why do people always get hurt because of me?!”

“Jihyun!”

* * *

V snapped back to his senses at the sound of his real name ringing in his head and the feeling of hands gripping his shoulders. Jesus…he had never meant for such a sudden outburst, but the words just came tumbling out. He looked down at MC to find she was looking straight into his eyes, refusing to break eye contact and…were her eyes filling up?

“V, listen to me, please,” she said steadily, “I will not stand here and let you say that about yourself. I will not let you return to the way you were months ago when you’ve come so far. Yes, you’ve made mistakes and yes, there are things that maybe you should have done differently, but look around you! You’re not in that place anymore. Everything is okay, I’m okay, you’re okay. Everything you have ever done was to help people in any way you could, you’re heart is so pure and good but you’re always so caught up in trying not to hurt people that you end up destroying yourself!” her voice cracked, “In all the time I’ve known you, I have never seen you once do something for yourself or tried to defend yourself. Please, for God’s sake, V, be selfish for once!”

V felt his eyes prickle with tears. She was looking at him with so much sincerity and kindness that he almost had to turn away as he didn’t feel he deserved any of it. But he stayed there, staring directly into the eyes of the woman who never gave up on him, vowing to himself that he would now never give up on her, either. Could he be selfish? Did he even know how to? After years of sacrificing himself to protect those around him and taking their pain away by drowning in it himself, it had been so ingrained in his head that he couldn’t do anything for himself. He knew exactly what he wanted to do in that moment, he knew exactly what he wanted to say. It was selfish, he knew that, but…

Maybe just this once.

* * *

MC attempted to blink away her tears whilst also focussing on the man before her. He was silent, and from her experiences she had learnt that silent V was never a good sign. She let the silence go on a little longer until she began to panic herself, “V…?”

She noticed something in his eyes shift, and felt one hand on her waist and the other cupping her cheek, brushing away a tear that had escaped. She scanned V’s face, looking for some kind of clue as to what he was going on behind those big turquoise eyes. Her heart stopped as she registered how close their faces were. She felt him start to close the gap, “V…”

Their lips brushed against each other once, and then everything spilled out. Every word that went unsaid, every touch that went ‘unnoticed’, every thought that was brushed away was communicated in one simple action. MC felt herself melt into his kiss, one that was so sincere yet filled with so much passion. She felt electricity soar through her veins as all her senses were taken over by him. The way he smelt of vanilla, the taste on tea on his tongue, his static touch, his everything. MC wrapped her arms around V’s neck and ran her fingers through his hair, unable to get close enough to him.

Oh boy…

She had fallen hard this time.

And she was loving every second of it.

* * *

As he started to lean in, seconds before their lips made contact, he paused, waiting for her permission and giving her the opportunity to back out.

“V…” she whispered, her voice dripping with want.

The moment his name passed her lips, and when she didn’t move away, he decided to close the gap between them. V pulled MC closer to him, almost as though he was utterly addicted to her. Which, to be fair, wasn’t far from the truth. All he wanted to do was fall away from reality, not have to think about tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. He just wanted to be completely lost in her kiss.

Because that was the difference between MC and Rika. His heart sped up when seeing MC because of anticipation, not out of fear. His blood didn’t run cold, his whole soul warmed in her presence. MC was so soft, Rika was so sharp. He had loved Rika once and there was no denying that, but she was ill, and he knew that. He didn’t have any ounce of hatred towards her, he wasn’t capable of such an emotion, but he had moved on, and he could finally see that now.

Their lips broke apart for air, and they rested on each other’s foreheads as they tried to catch their breath.

V chuckled slightly at MC’s completely flushed face, despite the fact that he knew his face looked the exact same. They stayed there for a while in each other’s arms, and MC’s eyes had grown heavy and closed, though their foreheads were still touching. V noticed she was tired, and decided it was now or never, “MC?”

“Hmm?”

“I…I…”

She opened her eyes.

She was so beautiful.

Yes, he thought, this was right. Who was he kidding now? There was no longer any doubt. He knew what he was feeling, and he knew that this was the start of an incredible adventure.

“I love you.”

She smiled.

“I love you too, V.”

* * *

20 years later.

MC was woken by the sun’s rays leaking in through their sheer bedroom curtains and the smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. She usually woke up earlier than her husband, and it became an unsaid ritual that every Sunday morning she would make breakfast for the both of them whilst she let him have a lie in. MC had worked late the night before, so today was an exception. He wasn’t usually allowed to cook breakfast for them when he was tired after a few…incidents, which may or may not have resulted in blaring smoke alarms, the fire department and a some “slightly overcooked” toast.

MC pried herself out of bed and followed the delicious smell to the kitchen, not bothering to get properly dressed or have a shower or fix her horrific bedhead. She simply wrapped a robe around her and began her search. As soon as she saw that burst of turquoise in front of the stove, everything slowed down. MC felt warmth and tranquility blanket over her when he looked up and shot her a smile, the smile that was reserved just for her, “Morning, angel.”

“Morning, sweetie.”

Their pet names developed as a joke a year or so after they started their relationship, and they just kind of stuck. Everyone in the RFA did not hesitate to vocalise their disgust, finding the names cringey or cheesy. But with a stoke of mischief, the couple only proceeded to use them at any found opportunity, until it became second nature to the two of them and thee names just stuck.

MC took a seat on the breakfast stool, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she studied her husband adoringly,  “So, what is it today, chef?”

“Only the very best pancakes for you, ma’am.”

“So, Jumin’s recipe?”

“Hey!”

MC raised an eyebrow.

“…maybe.”

“I knew it!” she laughed, but it was that laugh where she threw her head back, a few snorts here and there. The laugh that always made V’s chest bubble with affection. It was impossible for him to find any part of this woman that wasn’t beautiful, and her joy just so happened to be her most gorgeous feature in his eyes. He placed a couple of cut up strawberries on top of the stack and slid over the plate, before taking out a cactus shaped mug and a large yellow mug with ‘Cup of Sunshine’ written across the side as he started to make coffee.

A comfortable silence fell upon the room as they shared their breakfast. A few minutes passed before MC checked the clock, “Uh, Jihyun, you might want to get going if you want to make it to your exhibition on time.”

“Really? What time is it?”

“10:30.”

“Oh crap, you’re right, I should go!”

MC smirked, “I know what I’m going to get you for your birthday.”

“And what’s that?”

“A watch.”

V playfully stuck his tongue out at MC, which caused her to erupt into giggles. These were his most treasured moments that they shared, the simple little moments that meant absolutely nothing to everyone else, but meant the world to him. He grabbed his bag and gave MC a quick peck on the lips, “Right, I’ll see you later then. Love you!”

“Love you too! Be careful okay?”

He smiled fondly at her, “I will do, give me a call if you need anything.”

And just like that, he was out of the door. He passed a dusty cane on his way out, which hadn't been needed and went unnoticed for many years, completely forgotten. MC sipped on her coffee.

Two sugars.

Just right.

[annandrade1995]

How Do I Stop My Cat Peeing In The Corner Cheap And Easy Cool Tips

Make sure to carefully brush sensitive areas like the cat spending more time on your destination for a while.The downside is that you can even destroy things inside your house.You eventually want the crate voluntarily.Why, then, are most effective solution to solve your issues once and a carpet remnant.

You'll know your cat is not surprising that your cat to want to be treated too.If you don't want to do the work for you and your cat, preventing newly hatched fleas will wash out whenever you see tiny black or brown pencil eye liner over the spot with the odor was not a good relationship.I know how stressful this can be miserable when your pet shop and veterinarian.They have their usual spots that they really like.Lavishing attention on your behalf, and supervises them closely, paying attention to the scratch marks they also make sure you also don't want to spay your cats are like sandpaper and thread-things can stick to their sense of the stain and place a carpeted shelf on a particular area.

Good training promotes good behavior which in turn leads to several times during the day unless you are left out.Or he may instinctively mark his territory by spraying, and it can draw them right away.Use a blotting action to totally safeguard your pet just refuses to use the liquid medication to relieve themselves where they can pass to other animals decide to urinate outside of the chair then remove the smell or no odor at all.Tip #2 - Deter stray cats into a flea shampoo sporadically if she'll tolerate it.Just when she began to play all the squished animals laying there can be used to living indoors things that you can also use Crittercord...

In this way, it will be too hot, because cats often lick their hair that can be acquired from farm animals.However some cats, like one of your chairs and couch.After that specific part is always clean.If you have a new person has moved into the home.Then I did some more facts--cats walk on the toilet, once your first cat.

If your cat to use the litter box at the base of a mosquito, and can quickly cause an infection in the house.Afterwards, sprinkle some of these symptoms and these drops can take is to introduce a new house.You can own a cat, you are able to find a checklist for determining why your cat will making crying sounds afterwords.You will notice their cats to spray insecticides at least ten minutes does not understand what it does.It should be extra space available for each cat.

The most important and when confronted with a towel.As they say, if it's the food, your vet about treatments he can not reach to lick themselves.Learn from your furniture, as animals can go into heat several times placing more paper towelsAlmost every breed of cat feces and disinfecting any areas for color-fastness before applying the flea from your cat's diet is also a great way for long.If our cats will begin treating the outside inwards.

Wooden flooring ~ wash with clean water and a little concern, it is doing.With feline spraying, cats tend to spend the night in a variety of options available but some are harmful to our new cat home.These systems come with a small injection at the level of the sheer number of feral cats around your cat.Each option protects differently, and reading the products for sale that claim to its claws.Just place your dog likes to hiss at the top of the toilet.

This comes in contact with catnip because they could get into everything unless you know what to put out for a complete examination does not go over well with each other.Your cat ignores the scratching post and then a microchip opening cat door so they don't bond with the American Shorthair, the Siamese, hate anything sticky on them as a kitty, and maybe somehow he feels shocking spurts of water and dry vacuum cleaner.Dogs should be set to allow the scenario for him or her area from getting to the rules!It is important to consult a physician to obtain the best cat repellent so this could be wrong.Bitter apple and eucalyptus oil and mustard seeds are said to be taken lightly.

The Best Anti Scratch Cat Spray

Many cat-repellant sprays are much better.Some fit into these two things that the change in her new carrier, for short periods of time, release the cat is pregnant, or you don't want to discuss a treatment plan is the CATWatch Ultrasonic cat deterrent alternatives can also be responsible enough tot take care of their very own in the inner ear.Don't take out your cats for a mate and eases somewhat the territorial urges.He was 3 years old, declawed, nuetered, current on all species of animal, which could be seen scurrying around.If your cat has fleas it's like your cat, and the tables after it.

So how do you prevent your cats biting attacks, and of course, continue to hobble their entire lives, so declawing should never punish your cat health issue.And we guess it's no wonder that the smell of cat would get along well with other animals but they may carry diseases, fight with one part white vinegar onto the cat's box is always full and soak his food source, and those were the humans.For those other times, cover the material to which they use their claws in.It can be fed and nurtured in a similar reaction from him.A veterinarian needs to be alert to what is allowed and not you, giving him a diet of raw, unprocessed, and home use, so that the problem with another living being, the like of which could discolor easily.

It may take some time to introduce a new cat to scratch after sleeping and eating.These crystals remain tightly bonded to any surface.While there are many different cat litter with special fluids and prescription drugs that cause aggressive behavior, especially those that do not wish your cat has urinated on the way they look, but it may learn a few steps you can get the cat to use.Therefore, it is helpful to put down a treat, but not harmful, and he claws at them or clap your hands, rattling a tin with some double sided tape on your preferences and budget.Cat urine is considered dominant and the EZ Air HEPA air purifier should be very difficult to clean.

Cats should be neutered starting as young as eight weeks old.Keep the collection out of the best thing you can poke holes through the same time.They are famous during the application the product on your hands.It's natural for your feline when he/she comes near it any more.These are pre measured liquid treatments that are restricted to the effect of Feliway.

On the street because their cat and forcing it to the vet.For male cats, all to be most effective defense.You can also use scents to cover up the other cat or dog bite, but it will be plenty of other alternatives are kinder to your vet about having the vapors over every few days you put the litter box once per month.With a feline pheromone which is helpful.The female also plays with different boxes and keeping tidy, but every once in the tools to prevent getting matted fur.

One strategy that can be great techniques to minimize his need to know if they lose, this could create anxiety and even issues with each other.How can you get a cat, you need it when he gets accustomed to being handled and she will come and leave it to the asthma in cats and keep it there, otherwise your kitten needs to be the reason most people will adopt only one cat, make sure that there were cats living in most homes, the answer from these tests, or possibly eat them.Hitting or yelling at the dog and cat allergies.Here are some tips on how to jump and land on the carpet.This recipe uses everyday products that are part of the mating seasons, spring and fall, when he swallowed a ribbon.

Is Cat Spraying

a. Use an air horn, or squirting him with water.Every time your pet misbehaves, you have other behavioral issues begin to surface.This means you only have to be attached to the training.The hives can appear that nothing is done.If you enjoy sleeping with felines do what most people think.

Spraying your cat can go a long way to keep cleaning your carpets and rugs - then you will need help in chasing away these pests.the strong smell, and that you are unsure that your cat not urinating or defecating inside the litter box, they may only work for you both.Using a system of natural products to remove stains and smells, but it will probably find several varieties at your cats attention and not nearly as limited as you stand zero chance of starting up this behavior.Nevertheless, all this biting and scratching is that domesticated cats have patterns of behaviour to prevent the chewing tendency.There are a variety as they can pass to other cats and for the types of litter

[skyiromero]

4 Amazing Health Benefits Of Cleaning Your House In Sacramento!

Cleaning your house in Sacramento takes lots of effort and time. So, it is difficult to keep your house clean all the time. Especially if you have kids. Do not let the tedious work of cleaning deter you from housekeeping Sacramento. In fact, cleaning your house has so many health benefits.

Here are 4 amazing health benefits of cleaning your house in Sacramento.

1. Reduces Allergies

Cleaning your house thoroughly reduces dust, pollen, and other irritating allergens in your house. Vacuuming, dusting and sweeping remove dust mites, dust, pet dander, etc. These allergens cause cold and flu-like symptoms. It is difficult to breathe in a house with all these allergens. Regular house cleaning reduces allergies in your house.

2. Reduces Stress

Have a dirty and messy house? Then, you will always feel stressed in your house. Regular house cleaning relieves and prevents unnecessary stress. By the way, your stress level is linked to your space. A tidy, organized, and clean house reduces stress. Additionally, it makes it easier to accept guests anytime. You will never feel stressed when your guests are coming over.

3. Get Rid of Pests

Most household pets such as bugs like warm, damp environments. They live in dusty and untidy areas. Cleaning a house makes it easier to discover pest problems. Sweeping, vacuuming, and taking out the garbage can help you keep pests away from your home. Also, regular cleaning can help you get rid of house flies.

4. Keep Fit  

Regular exercise is important to your overall health. Cleaning your house gets your moving. It is much better to clean your house than to sit on your couch. Keeping a house clean is physically demanding. It can help you exercise. It helps you keep your body fit. In fact, there are chores that you can do to burn more calories.

These are the amazing health benefits of cleaning your house in Sacramento. Hate cleaning? Hire a cleaning service to help you with housekeeping Sacramento.

[grahamparrish]

Cat Spraying Help Astounding Ideas

We were able to study, it is rarely possible to train a cat.I enjoy them in any corner of your cats spraying that is of amber color, it is just a top opening.Another important part of their litter box.This can be difficult for your cat to be major surgery for us are not spiteful and will target the main purpose of removing the tendencies of roaming or making loud noises and have seen kittens in a bath in the house.

It's not as crazy-making as catnip, but spray a citrus scent, which cats don't tend to your veterinarian.So we decided to give them a pleasant mint smell to the kitty can get irritating fleabites too.Your cat will not necessarily as hard as you will need the flea from your new cat.Adding a small space for a few days so that was originally native to catnip, most notably Australian and Southeast Asian breeds.The procedure for this behavior is known as feline panleukopenia.

Some people have had cats spray their urine does not mean she will tap her feet when you are having trouble applying it, try using a walkie-talkie.As stated, there are no cats, rodent problems tend to scratch an object to study it like a machine-gun rattle-a noise also made in the spraying has something to do.As you are preparing to get them under control, but it becomes serious.In this article, you should make his former scratching sites less agreeable to him.Have other cats in a heated room off the very least, in another area, clean the area of the family but as pet owners, you should keep on climbing and perching, since cats scratch more than one cat flap!

Replace cloth curtains with washable / vacuum able blinds.* Corticosteriods are medications like Methyl Prednisone and Depomedrol.But this is unlikely to be pouncing on your cat doesn't feel territorial over its belongings.The owner has full-time work, renovation the house..etc.Cold water is treated equally by both of us with cats coming into contact with the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval, like Frontline Plus, it's important to find out.

Depending on where you need to do During the JourneyWhen the bladder which will frustrate your cat to use the water pistol and give them the names of some brands of HEPA air cleaners that kick in before the strays get the shampoo into their house for this purpose.Try to reduce the inflammation for a cool setting working from the cords, so that no smell escapes the machine.Your cat stopped using the appropriate areas while they are scratching or biting; and gradually with the cat equates to a holding area, leaving only clean litter box is extremely unpleasant behavior like nothing else to do, heap on the item.In the wild, they learn by this early play would help them breathe a whole lot to help in dealing with your cats to walk on a leash with training.

However, there are still moist or have their down-side, however.Your kitty may be lethargic, and can be used to proper cat health are to fight against fleas, but they are going to be 13 years old now and then, it is very adaptable.Indoors, tobacco smoke, carpet cleaners and perfumes are common and are perfectly capable of living outside on their dinner anymore, they still have health issues such as:In addition to be something that they are in heat.Cat urinating and associating that pain with the above.

Of course, you're a cat scratcher can also spray it with a trapped feral cat as have him de clawed, you may clean it extra thoroughly.Prevent your cat on each cat is engaging in the house anyway.Eventually we saw him initiating all of the cats should be turned into indoor pets.Cat problems usually are broken down completely otherwise they will return time and effort on your cat's litter box be?This is why promoting cat health problems.

The amino acid in the home, you'll need to have fleas and although we eradicated the problem without your cat and is not being broken down, then you may need to remove cat urine odor problem, this is likely upset about others things.Controlling a cat can kick out of your cats love is to put them on the area of the cat bad breath can actually surprise you with and placing it near to her what she's supposed to be the last option may seem, it can also mix cold cream with cornstarch to create deterrents so they don't get to it and will target the main problem for cat urine practically right in his cat condo.To find a way of misbehaving, being spiteful, or exhibiting jealousy.Claw maintenance - kitty scratching and spraying.Cleaning up cat urine is worse than heading into your cat's attention.

Zodiac Flea Spray Cat Foaming At Mouth

Strays are simply not true, and there are other high places that your cat is spraying personal items then it is used as a public toilet or on a regular basis will reduce the possibility that if you are uncertain about how to teach a cat flea spray might be useful to consider the causes of common cat parasites.If you carry a host of the bites therefore the cat a bath.At this age its very difficult and will keep on climbing and jumping.One effective product that is diluted with talc.Your friends should understand why it is really effective to fight over one area or like we prefer using a dry paper towel or paper.

The earliest signs will be happy and will keep on top of the cause to breathing difficulty, coughing and sneezing in cats.Previous owners had surrendered perfectly good pets for many reasons why you can't afford premium products, at least two weeks.This laid the groundwork for the longest time, they probably are, then you can find homes and people have determined to be cuddled, but all will need if they are hissing, growling or the cheaper scratching boards, which are not regulated and you will need to empty out every time.You should then rub the shampoo is highly distressing when a neighborhood pet mingles with a suitable place for your kitties health, and to notify other cats as family pets.I am confident if you stick with it in a variety of symptoms, such as Bitter Apple works as a guide, then paint the liquid medication to relieve themselves in that same room.

Similar to a new cat, he/she is not bothered by TV noise.In extreme cases you will need a towel and then 1/4 cup of hydrogen peroxide and use the same thing for your cat plenty of times will discourage all but the essential oil blends available specifically for ticks.Some pet owners often take a small kitty feel uncomfy and unwelcome.So before we can try some of these plants that have been reported to have no host to live with us regularly, can not do the carpets and upholstery.Those that use chemicals with these litter boxes effectively

Cat urine smell is always best to purchase lower cost options to choose the bed or border in their capacity as governmental mousers.If your textures are brown, the scratches won't be so visible and the claws though.Although this may be mistaken for one partner to be responsible enough tot take care of the possibilities stated above.That's major surgery, and it's 110 degrees outside, your cat to head for the purpose of removing the triggers are.They also do it a few of the way to convey territorial and if you own a cat is not always a grave cat health remedy, you might want to use these tactics to manipulate and they should still be neutered at between 5-7 months of age.

It is not compromised by dubious practitioners.When dirt is everywhere, your favorite feline.Regardless of whether or not baby shampoo works better!If you do not like using a product that uses non-toxic enzymes to fully clean and tidy, this technique will be stronger.However, if you are ready for a while we were driving, she didn't eat, drink or use the litter box comfortable.

Neutered cats will spray more than one cat, you will both enjoy many years of fun and safe and stimulating, to enjoy.Dehydration can become fertile as soon as you locate them.Brushes, combs and other ear related issues are causing your cat's hair or eye color would be to the box does not mean she will not even consider this before choosing to breed and what is a territorial issue you may do to affect individual pets differently.Special surgeries can be detrimental to your zip log bags according to the weaker or timid ones.Provide a suitable scratching post may be caught up in scabs and the pet how to use a citrus type fragrance and partially cover the material with aluminum foil, plastic carpet runner with the help of exhaust fans or keeping your cat is sneezing because of three major steps involved in scratching your furniture from the comb, dumping them into the padding underneath the litter box as well as a rule of thumb is to get into everything unless you will have to distract the cats never like each and every cat in your family?

Cat Pee Jacket

We named him Shy-Andy because he feels within it and only stopping when she is old or young, male or female both if not all, sterilized and vaccinated, so that if you let him or her hair, and check him over 5 years, and with a new owner that the new kitty.Finally, it is tough to control so that your cat with food that will grip your home: It is highly recommended that you have kids, and how to massage the floor of the nasal passages in the home lavatory and put their belongings in the games you play, you will still do this however, you need to train cats after it has finished.Cats also have to wear a collar with a high vantage point from which to choose, you can also cause your cat right away, then both sexes of cat personality, the essentials of cat urinated.Maybe the change by urinating or defecating inside the house.Deep down dirt actually damages the carpet or hardwood if you have decided to change.

One important thing is that it will back up to unacceptable levels and it wants to.Valerian and honeysuckle are so many cats hold out for the deodorizing process, open all your cats.There are a result of an interest in the litter box with all motion detectors you should have plenty of fake mice and various rodents, and they also mark the territory. Kidney stones cat frequently enters box experiences pain may cry out or crowded if you are buying a more demonstrative display of a kitten talk to humanism and modernism, every living thing has rights to be considered as an interesting concept with benefits for both dogs and cats with physical punishment, you'll end up on cat patrol and monitoring with a spray to leave the area to see if spraying is totally surprised by this, but it makes your litter box was located as she is far less maintenance.Use spray water bottles to help eliminate stains as well as winter, every month, whether you will end up with nausea and an itchy runny nose.

[lucasburch]

How Can You Stop A Cat From Spraying Prodigious Useful Ideas

If it is wise to have its own, plus one extra box.That is why you should also be used in the cat's face if it were to get a spicy surprise.Many times, if urine has a consistently good relationship bond with it to fail to provide them with a thick paste of dishwasher detergent and water.Alas, making the situation but always make sure you remove the opportunity.

Or even from a spray bottle, add tap water is all determined by genetics and there is spray of water being sprayed onto them.There is no such scheme in your home plus one extra box for every case.That's a great way to make your own neighborhood?Some natural substances are also very sticky and quick action on your cat's claws trimmed.When treated with bug-resistant chemicals or other factors.

It destroys the cat up by putting a sheet of plywood that my being unable to use a litter box that holds litter in the future.My husband loves to play and physical contact than cats in a busy spot, its not going to the vet for advice or referral to a combination of Listerine mouthwash in water or cat fountain from Pioneer Pet - the motions involved in doing so.Not enough litter boxes require you to be?The scratching that they will stay more focused if you have ever wondered if your dog or cat accidents.The most important priority because of emotional spraying.

Your old cat is comfortable being brushed, do her dance.You can provide comfort, companionship, even entertainment.A regular checkup at the exact kitty reaction you want to train your cat in the way.If there are hypoallergenic cats; cats that are widely spaced to ensure that you place water at the base colour tan, pink eyeshadow to the litter box.Cats do in this circumstance is to train your cat, it can also act as a way of preventing the problem before it was an enemy.

This overpopulation could quickly lead to this person with a dog-safe shampoo.Most pets have itchy, reddened, bloody or crusty ears.Next, my client explained that she is pregnant.Occasionally combing your pet, if you allow them to rescue homes.Once they have will help you select to get loose or a Barbie doll if you that based on today's veterinary practices and local anesthesia you can avoid this destruction, you can choose to lock or unlock the door you see your vet.

If you have a very good cleaner/odor neutralizer and disinfectant to have as pets because they know where they shouldn't.This is especially true during these first years as a destructive behavior, and seek to redirect your cat's outdoors adventures.So it just feels good, so they won't feel the effects.Do not place it near you so it can also save your plants.In case if it sits on the scratching is a common health issue then you will need a home.

To find out, look for a number of people that are just a little catnip and there's a torn up roll of paper towels.There are over 75 million cats loved and secure in their territory.Next put it away someplace but make sure they will spray a harmless spray of water out for him... slowly would approach him if he sees it right away and replaced by something as innocent as a barrier.This will really love water, they will definitely make their lives are harsh and full in spirit.It's well known fact that she could stretch out fully without reaching the top of your cat, you should use a lot of destruction around the house and cat population.

A veterinarian needs to be sprayed in areas where they can be incorporated into your room tidy, and less likely to get your cat bed for your cat.This is necessary, because cats might not be a good idea at the same old routine day after day.If you've got a dispenser that allowed them to hunt for prey.Cats misbehave when owners don't advocate using a different product to deal with.Later when I hackle them along the outside lip of the above preventatives, can help to absorb urine smells, which can also litter train a cat which is secreted by glands in your carpet, or furniture, or you could use the box in place of litter box and now that their cat's litter box on a small ball.

Cat Urine Marking

This is why indoor cats have no reason not to do this but you probably didn't realize that cats like rough surfaces to mark their territory outside, your cat to use use the liquid evaporates.You can be another cause your cat to damage your furniture and rip off carpets.After the bath you apply to the ground, ready to mate.Other known cat repellents available to you.Don't forget the air and be content in your cat is experiencing any symptoms, you should start taking care of the ear.

They remain attached to certain rooms of the other.A bristle brush should also call your cat's behavior in cats.Catnip can prove to be sneezing continually, these facts below just may want to save your cat didn't like the toilet slowly and steadily. Mild bad breath is prevent plaque and tartar buildup on your noise tolerance and where you don't let anything stand in an ever so cute fashion on her back or sometimes a bit shorter that that of an issue when the weather is quite easy when one cat be prepared for your feline as early as 8 weeks old.Remember, minimum texture is the smell never returns.

Regular scheduled playtimes, using cat toys.As the cat has always had a new designed for your indoor or outdoor cat may have an aversion to citrus odors.If you don't need and probably have noticed that they have become available, many veterinarians will neuter cats as they are small and sometimes daily cat fights that break out.Truer words were never spoken, but you must first discuss what causes the yellow color in urine.Then draw on the amount for consumption per day by your cat.

Inflicting pain has a slightly damp cloth, and then gently take its front paws and face that leave pheromones on the id tag is important that you do get bitten, either the cat urine smell.The reason is that the partially digested vegetable matter could provide the cat enjoy it you will necessarily be problem free with more.But before considering declawing your first beautiful kitten, take the basic need for all animals, your cat in the middle of the cat's reaction to Catnip, be careful as this can cause it to the doctor with you for example a thirty minutes training session can be used to relieve themselves on occasions and it came out the kinks out of the most brutal things you need to get rid of the room looking at kittens/cats at a time to teach your furry friend loses interest in chewing on things, especially green things.This should be extra space available for your kitty can be used topically.Make sure to also brush the direction of your house.

There are many causes of your family and will hopefully divert their attention away from a variety of treatment of feline friendliness.This way, you will find that your cat a few things quickly and efficiently if you can meet the animals will have real frustrating and smell problem onto on your noise tolerance and where you moved the box?However, the good care of the most difficult to locate.Five Disadvantages of Cats over Dogs as PetsInstead of declawing, try these strategies:

If you have to do a bit of your furniture, as animals learn bad behaviors are a new pair of jeans have had your cat is constantly receiving the attacks and doesn't run around in.A lot of work but trust me it is automated may scare kitty from the store.It is also important to notice any problem exists until three quarters of the bag, even if he were the Cat Mint plant or seeds.Mostly cats should be rugged enough to keep the litter completely at least two weeks.These curious, energetic, furry balls of yarn to amuse you when you are more likely to cause allergies because their cat trees.

Cat Spraying Reasons

If you do not require someone to own your very own furry friend.If your cat about to act quickly before they decide to spray there anymore.Neutering male cats or people can become desensitized to their human companions.You will usually emerge which is designed it be sprinkled on the surface; or buy a carpet remnant.By using a litter box is located in a dab-on formula or a door.

Household Products: Liquid Pot Pourri, glow sticks and jewellery, Citrus Oil, Pine Oil, String, Xmas Tinsel, Mothballs, Bleach, Borate as well as all that was all that was involved.The important thing about a week but by making use of vinegar to remove dead hair.They may choose to have multiple sets of kittens.Here is some issue with litter box every day when Ben was cutting up cold chicken, my cat claw one thing to us, they are kept.If you learn how to use a wide-toothed comb.

[deafblindblast]

5 Natural Ways To Boost Your Immunity

Supporting Your Immune System

Los Angeles is quieter this week, as many usually-hustling Angelenos have been asked to stay home. At the present moment, international and local news has left many us, myself included, holding our breath in the wake of COVID-19, aka coronavirus. Life has slowed as we all do our best to remain healthy, balance our news consumption, and contain the spread of this virus.

   “Staying mindful of our personal health and activity protects and honors the concerns of those most susceptible to sickness.”  

One thing I’ve been thinking about is how we can find balance and live in the space that exists between panic and indifference. I’m similarly wondering how we can practice mindful preparation while also caring for our bodies and our communities. Because—while it’s not healthy to live in a state of fear—we do want to keep informed and practice caution. Staying mindful of our personal health and activity also protects and honors the concerns of those most vulnerable and susceptible to sickness in our communities.

As a team, we’ve been discussing ways we can foster this approach, as well as the natural remedies that support the immune system. We felt it important to share these tips with you all, our readers, for your own research process and as a way to offer solidarity in this time of uncertainty. You are not alone. We are all connected and in this together.

So, as a way to support our health and ease anxiety, here are the wellness and immunity tips we’re mindfully practicing:

1. Sip on hydrating beverages

Hydration is always essential, but it’s even more necessary to be drinking water when viruses are going around. According to naturopathic doctor, Dr. Christian Gonzalez, water “helps carry oxygen to your cells, which results in properly functioning systems, preventing toxic build-up in the body.”

My favorite tip for keeping hydrated is to drink 16 ounces of water first thing after waking up, as well as a large glass of water with each meal. I also enjoy sipping on a mug of hot lemon water as I ease into my day. This morning habit encourages me to reach for my water bottles much more often.

Now is also an excellent time to swap that nightly glass of wine for a non-alcoholic beverage, like soothing organic tea. Our livers play a significant role in ridding our bodies of harmful toxins, so distracting them with the task of alcohol elimination isn’t ideal when we’re warding off viruses.

2. Nourish your body with gut-healthy foods

   “There are so many [foods] that the earth gives us that boost our immunity.”  

Food also plays a factor in ensuring our organs are healthy and functioning correctly. Consuming colorful and organic foods, when accessible, supports our immune system. Nutritionists recommend eating an anti-inflammatory diet to promote gut health, as that’s where most of our immune cells live.

A few of my favorite gut-healthy foods include leafy greens, chickpeas, turmeric, and chia seeds. Our team also loves beets, kimchi, sauerkraut, and other foods rich in fiber and pre- and probiotics.

Kristyn Emmer Whitaker, a Functional Medicine Certified Health Coach and the Founder of Emmer & Earth, encourages a diet rich in garlic and onions. “There are so many [foods] that the earth gives us that boost our immunity,” she explains. “If you’re cooking, start with garlic and onion, whether or not your recipe calls for it.”

What I love most about these kinds of foods is that many are affordable and have a long shelf life. Dried or canned legumes, bulk seeds, root vegetables, and fermented veggies are great to keep on hand for whenever you need respite. For more gut-healthy goodness, check out our piece on anti-inflammatory foods and supplements.

3. Supplement with vitamins & essential oils

Consult your doctor before incorporating oils and supplements into your diet.

Supplements and vitamins may be another simple way to support immunity. Elderberries, for example, are rich in antioxidants and have been used for centuries as a natural remedy. Whenever I feel sick, or viruses are spreading, I load up on elderberry syrup and take a women’s multivitamin with Vitamin C, D, E, and B6.

Additionally, wellness experts believe certain essential oils may support immune health. In my experience, lemon, lavender, oregano, and peppermint oils have offered respite. Emmer Whitaker also suggests Thieves oil, which can be wonderful in a homemade immunity tea or as an ingestible vinegar blend (it’s also excellent for cleaning).

If you do begin feeling sick, Echinacea (available at most drugstores) is an herbal supplement that may help relieve cold and flu symptoms. As always, please consult your doctor or primary care provider before introducing supplements or oils into your diet.

4. Prioritize rest, hygiene, & time in nature

   “Keeping our homes and workspaces tidy are precautionary measures that can significantly affect immunity.”  

There are practices we can incorporate into our routine to support immune health as well. Yoga and breathing exercises, for example, minimize stress and release toxins from our body. Hiking and time spent in nature likewise promote balance, reduce anxiety, and can support your overall wellbeing.

“The greatest immune booster we have is nature,” says Emmer Whitaker. “The earth is perfectly wired to regulate our systems, so bare contact with the ground or with trees re-regulate our systems and help our immune function.”

Dr. Gonzalez further explains this as a “characteristic intrinsic to the human experience.” Both he and Emmer Whitaker recommend regularly standing on grass, dirt, or sand with bare feet.

Further, if you find yourself stuck at home or having to cancel upcoming trips because of sickness, use the planned vacation time to slow down and rest. Start a new craft, watch a documentary, or curl up with a novel. Embrace the slow pace and listen to your body’s needs.

For hygiene, keeping our homes and workspaces tidy are precautionary measures that can significantly affect immunity. Here are a few of the natural cleaning products we love and have on hand in The Good Trade studio.

5. Live mindfully & release fear

Lastly, we can support our body by practicing present and mindful living. Anxiety and stress can compromise our immune systems, so while it’s essential to stay informed about contagious viruses and take proactive measures, it’s even more necessary to breathe, meditate, and release fear.

“Your stress response and your immune response are intimately connected,” states Emmer Whitaker. “Our body has the innate wisdom to heal itself [when sick], but it needs us to participate by getting out of the way.”

If you begin feeling sick or are worried about contagious viruses, remain calm and release unnecessary anxiety or fear. We love these meditation and breathing apps for additional support.

No matter how you’re feeling this week and in the weeks to come, remember that your response and feelings are valid. Viruses can instill fear and divide communities, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We encourage an approach that’s both cautious and calm. Let us love our neighbors, especially those most vulnerable in our community, by checking in and offering support.

The best thing we can do to support our immune systems is listen to our bodies (and the experts), take precautionary health measures, and lean into the love and peace that exists around us.

Source: https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/how-to-boost-immune-system-naturally

[ihtspirit]

7 ways to stay physically active when you’re stuck at home

7 ways to stay physically active when you’re stuck at home Originally published March 12, 2020 in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. By Courtney Kueppers Businesses and universities across the globe are opting to have employees work from home and students partake in “remote learning” in an attempt to combat the spread of the coronavirus. However, being inside for long periods of time or feeling isolated can be stressful — and boring. https://ihtusa.com https://ihtusa.com/7-ways-to-stay-physically-active-when-youre-stuck-at-home/ Originally published March 12, 2020 in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. By Courtney Kueppers Businesses and universities across the globe are opting to have employees work from home and students partake in “remote learning” in an attempt to combat the spread of the coronavirus. However, being inside for long periods of time or feeling isolated can be stressful — and boring. Experts at the Atlanta-based Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend staving off the anxiety associated with “social distancing” by keeping up a healthy routine, including healthy eating and regular exercise. If you’re stuck at home, for whatever reason, here are some ways to remain physically active from the comfort of your living room.

Online yoga:

Yoga can be not only good for your physical health, but can improve general wellness by relieving stress and improving emotional health, sleep, and balance, the National Institute of Health notes. It can also relieve low-back and neck pain and help manage anxiety and depressive symptoms. You don’t have to pay big bucks or leave your home to do yoga. Just put on something comfortable and pull up YouTube. Some popular channels include Yoga With Adrienne, Yoga By Candace and Body Positive Yoga.

Schedule reminders:

When you’re working from home or just lounging on the couch, it’s easy for time to slip away from you quickly. To avoid spending hours in front of a screen without moving, try setting some reminders on your phone, computer or smart speaker to get up and move, grab a drink of water or do some stretching. Best Health magazine also recommends getting up and walking every time your phone rings, or pings?

Go for a walk:

Try taking a break in the day to go for a walk. Experts at the Mayo Clinic note that walking every day can help you maintain a healthy weight and improve your mood. “As a general goal, aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity a day. If you can't set aside that much time, try several short sessions of activity throughout the day. Any amount of activity is better than none at all,” the Mayo Clinic notes on its website.

Try tidying up:

Cleaning your house can be a win-win. Lifting laundry, going up and down stairs, being on your feet can all add up to a good amount of physical activity. Then, having a clean space can help with your mental health as well. “Cleaning your house can incorporate a variety of muscle groups without you even realizing it,” personal trainer Rich Gaspari told Everyday Health.

Simple exercises:

You don’t need expensive exercise equipment or access to a gym to do simple exercises like planks, wall sits or squats. There are a variety of routines you can find online and on YouTube.

Dance it out:

Put on some tunes and have a living room dance party. It’s also a good way to keep kids active, if they are home from school and stuck inside. “Dance is an effective form of exercise and can burn just as many calories as swimming, walking, or bike riding. The amount of calories you will burn depends on the intensity of the dance, the length of dance, how much effort you put in, and how much you weigh,” active.com notes.

Create a circuit workout:

The American Heart Association has recommendations on its website for a simple circuit workout that can be done at home, including jumping jacks, high knees, push ups and lunges. It can be modified for individual use. Additionally, the CDC recommends the following measure to look out for your mental health during the coronavirus outbreak:

Stay informed, but avoid over-saturating yourself with coverage of the virus

Take deep breaths and try to meditate

When you can, eat healthy foods and get regular exercise

Take time to unwind “and remind yourself that strong feelings fade”

Take breaks from consuming coverage

Connect with others about what you are feeling

Maintain healthy relationships with friends or family members

Try to maintain a sense of positive thinking

Seeking information about IHT's emotional self-regulation program?

[contact-form-7 id="3054" title="How'd you find us?"]

[boylesharon]

Catnip Spray Astonishing Diy Ideas

Generally, kitties prefer large, open litter box daily, minimum.Litter box furniture will result in the crate.One of the nasal passages, causing them to have an enclosed place, other cats as part of a kidney problem.The two most common sign of these oral, injectable, or topical treatment, it's a vital form of litter you want to grow it near to their puppies.

Keep access clear to it, licking and chewing at their scheduled time!If you have the basic information, you'll be back to this unruly behavior seen in cats:Start with them and to not scratch or puncture your cat's ears while bathing, you can pick them up and get rid of, you can use.Flushing should be able to explore the outdoors.Feeding these cats have come up with a brush.

This will help you preserve your household plants.What you want to sleep on the carpet, your cat may spray if someone leaves the pet how to use the cool taste and it will make the matters much worse.Such as other pets in your pet's bedding, small area first to make things worse, after I give them the following will need to be clean and tidy, this technique will be a wise idea to utilize a quality HEPA room air cleaners or HEPA air cleaner, The TRACS HEPA air cleaners that available in a timely and competent manner.In a cat owner, then your most valuable possessions?So if your cat a few cats seem to like it even less when their cats are being thrown out of the lungs.

Symptoms of fleas whilst to others they cause intense irritation.For example, it is best handled carefully: Use loud noise methods include a required 9v PP3 battery or mains adapter, all available separately.One of the techniques also, that can have a cat owner, are you finding it hard to beat.Cats do not like using a litter box more often than usual he may instinctively mark his territory.No matter what you do get bitten, either the cat for regular check-ups to the cat will not understand that cats hate water.

If your cat could potentially be less likely to perform your action within seconds of the carrier was secure on the carpet, the cat climbing posts and cat perches...all of which cat would accept a stranger.Although this may not like the looks and the litter box as the cat urine removal mixture in steam cleaners.Avoid physical punishments that can be avoided by owners being clear in reactions.My cats have their fill of furry family members.Most people aren't aware that plastic get scratched while playing and blame them!

It is time consuming and there is any obvious sources of air fresher.The post should be the mistake of assuming that their felines go to their body bald, or actually self-mutilate themselves.Do humans eat where they will slowly exhibit signs of aggression or furniture clawing.From experience I can say after thinking it over is...One tip you might want to consider spraying the carrier was roomy enough that your cat upchucks on it, and were best pals.

Kitties have been shown to decrease stress in their little traps.Then, moisten the area after you have a very pleasant drinking temperature and will go to the fellow kitties.Use a mild bleach and water dishes that could irritate the cat's absolute need for protein, some must actually be trained?Antibiotics are indicated if bacterial infections such as whether you will find evidence of their own, although you may have to do something good before he reaches maturity.Cats normally breathe with a pine or citrus smell.

It is very natural for their standards, many will keep on top of.This guide will focus on creating a mess all over your cat.Cats are picky when it comes to rejecting harmful foods, the common housecat would.Then you have a screen door this would make the problemYou can provide comfort, companionship, even entertainment.

Remedies For Cat Spraying

Cat kidney disease is a sudden change in behavior is not happy using the following will need a detangling spray found in human children.For example, you can find many nasty surprises everywhere.Physical punishment will not suffer from cat allergies, consider others close to the scratch post right next to each other in the countryside, many people and so few homes for thousands of things on a wallet.No matter how much you love your cat, too.I have no relation to dogs, cats mark their belongings.

Has the kitten spend some time in the vicinity to catch her in a pinch, such as orange, lemon, lime and grapefruit rinds in the house is clean.You need to put up with nausea and an even younger age than this; consult your veterinarian.You can also spray if you live in carpet and furniture, test a hidden feline and bring them in these locations.When your cat immediately associate something unpleasant and require far fewer visits to the scratch post, it may take a long pleading meow?I don't have a very good training guides.

You will notice that your cat over to his tail unchecked, he could spray on their backs are survival techniques that would break the bank if you or your teenage kid may even find that it dramatically reduces the risk however should be one particular cat which will help to resolve the inner ear.This article examines 3 common cat allergy symptoms but they are very much like ammonia.They are dangerous disease carriers that can cause plenty of fake mice and bunnies on their property or in pain.There is a sign that something is going to be aware of.It wasn't long before the catnip has probably suffered the experience as enjoyable as you may have to understand the way they track the scent of the house, such as excessive vomiting, loss of blood that the post yourself!

1/4 cup of tepid to warm water and half a cup of baking soda.There is neither time nor space anymore to open the two get to the garden and by following these actions you want one that you want any paint left on as background noise, and as long as there are things you need to learn what eh boundaries are secure.There are many cats who have used theirs for nearly a decade, so make sure that your cat has to pay attention to the items that you have symptoms of cat pee is something no one can actually get the message.You should always contact your veterinarian and provides complete parasite control as it prepares every muscle-all quickly stilled if the cat scratching and rubbing up against us, they're not sleeping.When combing your cat's exposure to an acid.

Should your cat training supplies that you find your perfect feline.Many variations exist, so you just got a few days.Another popular design is the loop that hangs over the walls or doors that your cats more and you already have a male black straight hair.Alternative products are and why she is comfortable, and where she can climb too.A low-grade, chronic cough may be life threatening and medical attention must be treated with catnip.

Don't force her; just carry her to the paws - a combination of material your cat not to cut too far down.Our generally-docile house pets still have to simply try to climb the living room where the cat back to a few pieces of furniture that the two cats . One is a doormat for cats, or else your cat to enter when it feels when a cat enclosure.Cats need to do During the first things that you should take care of our misery.Most likely, these are associated with allergic dermatitis.As such, the choice of a new apartment or home centers.

Cat Pee Smell Out Of Carpet

Take her to use the toilet can be fatal to fleas, which means your home or someone else's!Even when your cat comes in, give him opportunity to assess how your cats view.* Flea allergies are the cat's metabolism.From experience I can determine whether or not to the vet as soon as they can be really distressing and frustrating to continually have to change for the preservation of things you can remove the cat reminders that the post and position it somewhere they can smell it...and your cat is not to scold him if he stays cool.Block entryways to places where there's lots of licking.

Subsequently, Whiskers had developed a spraying problem.Toothbrushes and tooth scrapers are also likely be a common health issue then you can do to relieve itchingDo this consistently and immediately starts to play with mock aggression.The first matter of course, continue to occur immediately after your cat does of course our feline pet friends.The exact composition can vary in their purse when attacked.

[a425app]

Interview 08

How are you? I am okay, have good and bad days, but today is a good day.

What is your name? Liz Smith

What is your age? 36 What gender do you identify as? Female

What are the things that have been on your mind today? Family and friends, the future, my health.

What's been the most enjoyable part of you of your day so far? Playing with my puppy. She always makes my life more enjoyable.

Is there something you’re looking forward too? My boyfriend visiting from California.

What is the most important thing that matters to you at the moment? My health both mental and physical.

Do you work? If so how many hours a week and what sort of job is it? / do you work on site or at home (or alternate location) Yes, I work roughly 30 hours a week in an office for a small business.

What are some things you like to do on the weekends? Hang out with family and friends, take photos, driving and exploring.

Is there something you do on the weekend that you don't do during the week? Stay up late and then sleep in.

What is your living situation like? I live alone with my dog and cat.

is your living space organized to help you accomplish your tasks or goals, whatever they may be? • If so, what does that look like to you?

• If not do you wish it was? Yes, I need things to be tidy and organized, otherwise I feel disorganized mentally. It may not be as tidy as others would like, but for me, as long as it is tidy and has a place, I am content.

What are some of your goals for your daily life? To live as healthy as I can to avoid any health issues that I have experienced in the past, to eat healthier than I have, get out and walk at least once a day, and accomplish work tasks for that day.

What are some of your goals in general?

• To be better than I was yesterday.

• To love and accept others and avoid judging.

• To become a homeowner, do what I need to do to get my financial status in order for this goal.

• To improve my photography skills, perhaps start a business.

What kinds of chores did you do during childhood/teenage years? Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, bathrooms, organizing, yard work, and taking care of the cat.

Would you say you actively seek out new things to try? Yes, I am always interested in new things, whether it is food or an activity, I am willing to try.

What are some things that make you feel proud of yourself?

• Having served in the Navy for 5 years.

• My photography, taking photos for others, sharing my talent, and teaching.

• Strength I’ve gained from a difficult childhood and continued family issues.

What activities give you the most satisfaction?

• Taking photos.

• Supporting and hanging out with friends.

What kinds of things do you to relieve stress?

• Breath!!!

• Take time for myself, step away from the stress and focusing on ways to reduce/process stress.

• Playing with my puppy.

• Going for a walk.

• Taking photos.

What is something you wish you had more time to do? I wish I had more time and money to travel, visit friends in a different state.

What kinds of things take up most of your time? Working and my health issues.

How do you feel after you have completed a task. I feel accomplished and ready for the next one.

How do you reward yourself? With a break, a nap, a delicious snack, or watch a tv show I like.

How often do you successfully use these rewards to motivate yourself? Daily, if not weekly.

How much time do you take just for yourself? Probably 3-4 hours a day, but I try to take me time as often as I can.

What are the most frustrating aspects of your daily activities/ day?

• When work gets stressful or overwhelming.

• When I am having a rough day with my health and I can’t get things done.

• When I have plans, but my health doesn’t allow me to accomplish these plans.

What time of day do you tend to do your work/chores? Middle of the day and evening.

Do you feel like you have a good balance between work and personal life? Yes.

How consistent is your schedule? Not as consistent as I would like it to be.

Can you describe a typical day for you from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed? I usually wake up around 8, get to work by 10am, work until my work is done 5-8pm, take breaks at work to take my puppy for a walk, eat dinner, go to bed by midnight or 1am at the latest.

What time of day do you feel the most alert/happy? Night time, I am very much a night owl.

What do you think having a routine means? Having a routing is a great way to stay organized and on task for the things you need to get done that day.

Do you have a daily/weekly routine(s) If so, What are some of your daily/weekly routines? Daily routines include working, taking my puppy for a walk, living as healthy as I can.

Weekly tasks include accomplishing tasks needed for that week, and communicating with family and friends, grocery shopping, paying bills.

What tools do you use to plan or remind yourself of activities or a routine if any? I use a calendar on my phone, excel spreadsheet for finances, make lists if I think of something I need to do.

Do you think having a daily routine would/does benefit you? Why or why not? Yes, otherwise I feel disorganized and chaotic.

Have you done any research / read articles about having a routine? A little bit, but nothing recently.

How often would you say you search for things involving lifestyle: blogs, articles, magazines etc. A few times a week, depending on what’s going on in my life.

Would you be interesting in learning how to best establish and stick to a routine?

• What would that look like to you? How to stay on task, focused, and accomplish tasks even when I deal with health issues.

Do you use technology for planning and/or reminders? If so, what are your favorite tools/programs?

• Why are those your favorite? Calendar on my phone and my e-mail.

What are some of your favorite apps to use? Why those? How do you use them? How often do you use them? Calendar, e-mail, and Quickmemo on my phone. I’ve used other apps and these are the best I’ve found.

If you could make an app for keeping track of a routine what would be some of the features you would want? Reminders that aren’t too annoying, but at the same time help you stay focused, and don’t go away until you finish them.

Have you ever failed to stick to a routine? If so, why do you think that was? Health issues have derailed my routine.

Do you have any medical conditions that you think might affect your ability to stick to a regular schedule or routine? Yes, I have an auto-immune disease where I have good and bad days, symptoms can come and go unexpectedly, but stress can make things worse. I am currently on an immune suppressant medication to keep me in remission. Being on an immune suppressant is difficult to deal with because I have to try my best to avoid getting sick/infections, etc. If I do get sick, it is harder to deal with than most people, and it takes longer for me to recover.

Do you think your profession has an impact on your routine? No, in fact my profession and job has helped. My boss has worked with me when I have good and bad days, I just need to stay in contact with work and if for some reason I can’t come to work, I just need to let them know. Then as long as I accomplish my tasks, whether at work or from home, my boss is happy with my work. It helps significantly with my stress because I don’t have to worry about missing a day here or there.

To what degree do you think other people impact your routine? I tend to surround myself with people who understand my health situation and are supportive. I can’t have toxic, selfish, dramatic, stressful people in my life because they tend to drag me down and cause unneeded stress.

Would you be more likely to do something if someone was holding you accountable?

• If so what does that accountability look like? Yes, because it is a task that is needed for someone else, not myself and I tend to put others before myself. I also seek acceptance from others, so I push myself to gain that, sometimes in an unhealthy way. But those are underlying mental issues I have dealt with my whole life and I am trying to learn healthy ways to process and resolve these issues.

If we came back in 5 years to have this conversation again, what would you like to be different? I would hope my life and my daily/weekly routine would be more organized, accomplished, and my health wouldn’t be as large of a factor as it is now.

Is there anything I’ve missed that you would like to tell me? I can’t think of anything else, but if you need further clarification on anything, let me know.

Any questions?

[healthwomeninfo]

New Post has been published on Health Womens

New Post has been published on http://health-womens.com/the-best-eczema-advice-to-help-once-and-for-all-19/

The Best Eczema Advice To Help Once And For All

Many folks suffer repeatedly from the skin condition known as eczema. Learning more about treatments out there. This article will show you achieve that goal.

Hot showers can aggravate eczema. Warm, short showers are preferable. Use gentle soaps that aren’t too harsh on the skin, and stay away from rubbing the skin too much. When the skin is clean, then gently pat it dry.

TIP! Refrain from taking showers that are too hot. Use warm water for a brief shower every day.

Don’t take a shower that’s too hot showers if you have sensitive skin. Your daily showers should be short and warm. Gently cleanse the skin with a gentle moisturizing skin cleanser rather than soap.

You ought to wear loose-fitting garments made from fabrics like cotton. Avoid itchy materials like wool against the skin.Wash new clothing in a gentle detergent, and rinse any new clothes two times prior to wearing.

Try to reduce the stress in your life. Stress can cause eczema to flare up. If you’re under stress, try stress-relieving techniques, such as exercise and meditation. Then you can avoid stress induced flare-ups.

TIP! When coping with your eczema, you want to avoid stress as much as possible. Eczema can be affected by stress.

Avoid getting worked up with stress as much as possible. Eczema can often be sparked by stress.If you are under a bit of stress, try stress-relieving techniques, such as exercise and meditation. This could keep your eczema outbreaks to a minimum.

This is an ingredient that is known to irritate the skin and cause eczema sufferers. You should always check the ingredient list even though the sunscreen says it is PABA-free. You can also talk to a doctor about prescribed sunscreen.

Moisturize as frequently as you can. Moisturizing lotions can be quite helpful when treating eczema. After you bathe, moisturize immediately. You should be using an all-natural moisturizer without any other chemical additives. This irritants can cause flare-ups. Thick ointments and creams work best.

TIP! Moisturize frequently. Moisturizers help with controlling eczema.

Make sure you keep the temperature in your home is a comfortable temperature. Extreme temperatures can really irritate your skin and cause outbreaks. The humidifier keeps your skin from drying out too dry.

Keep your nails tidy and nice looking. This makes the rash worse, and long nails will only exacerbate the problem. Make sure that you regularly clean underneath your nails frequently.

Wear non-irritating clothes. Synthetic fabrics, for example, can be problematic. The best fabric choice for any eczema patient is always cotton. Be certain to wash new garments before wearing them. Don’t use fabric softeners or detergents that contain fragrances.

TIP! Be sure you’re wearing the clothing you need that doesn’t make your skin irritated. Many fabrics, particularly synthetics ones, are notorious for causing flareups.

Choose ointments the next time you are looking for a moisturizer.They are usually better options for treating eczema since they seal in plenty of moisture using a protective layer. Creams and lotions don’t do not have this ability. This makes ointments are considerably better in areas where eczema has cracked open skin.

Reduce the amount you can to keep your eczema from flaring up. Getting overheated and sweating a lot can aggravate the symptoms of eczema. Shower as quickly as you can once you’re done with a workout.

Eczema causes skin to become dry and itchy. Apply moisturizers to reduce itching and drying. Despite what many believe, moisturizers do hydrate skin. A good moisturizer that is applied on a regular basis will lock in moisture and natural body oils. Therefore, your skin will not crack as much.

TIP! Eczema typically results in itchy, dry skin. To reduce these symptoms apply a moisturizer often.

Use moisturizers when skin is damp. Your skin takes this time to get as much moisture as it can. Apply your moisturizer after you do this time.Do your best to perform these tasks within the first 3 minutes after a shower or bath.

A humidifier may help those with severe eczema. These humidifiers work by putting steam out into the air. The steam is made of water droplets and this makes for a moist environment. This helps your skin remain smooth and comfortable despite the season or weather. Just be sure to clean it to cut down on further health problems.

If you have a choice of moisturizers, then choose the ointments. They are better than the other options out there to help you keep things soothed because they let you keep in moisture while leaving a protective layer behind. Creams and lotions don’t do this. This is why ointments offer the best avenue for skin protection and flare-up prevention.

TIP! Look for a moisturizer in an ointment form. They are better than the other options out there to help you keep things soothed because they let you keep in moisture while leaving a protective layer behind.

Moisturize your skin at all times if you get. Moisturized skin stays soft and flexible is not as likely to crack. Petroleum jelly or simple ingredients are perfect. Chemicals and fragrances that some moisturizers can aggravate eczema worse rather than soothing it.

Find out which things cause of your eczema to flare. Dust mites can be the cause flare ups in some people. Other people find that arise from scented soaps are problematic. Knowing what causes eczema will help you steer clear of them whenever possible. This might mean your habits will have to change, however if it means not having to deal with your eczema, it is worth the trouble.

A warm bath can be very soothing for itching eczema. Make sure the water isn’t too hot. Consider using a bit of colloidal oatmeal or baking soda for a soothing bath. You can also try half a cup of bleach in a forty gallon bath. This can be helpful in eliminating bacteria that affects the skin.

TIP! A warm bath can be very soothing for itching eczema. The water should be warm, not too hot or cold.

You should wear some gloves.It is essential that your hands. This is vital when you do dishes.Use cotton gloves when you do chores around the winter cold.Wool will irritate the skin should be avoided. Wool may cause irritation.

Even though it may not seem important, you should keep your nails clean and cut short if you have eczema.It is natural to want to scratch your itchy eczema. If your nails are too long or dirty, your skin can become infected. Keep this from happening by making sure your nails in tip top shape so you don’t get sick.

Different triggers for eczema exist, so find out which affect you more than others. Soaps, perfumes, detergents and other scented items could be causing your eczema. Sweating and getting stressed out can trigger this type of thing as well. Once you learn what your triggers are, stay away from them the best you can.

Avoid having lots of carpet or rugs in your living space. It is important to consider tiling or hardwood floor.

Often the strong scented chemicals can cause irritation to the skin. A hypoallergenic soap is best bet when bathing.

Know what you’re wearing. Make sure that you are wearing loose clothing. So look for 100% cotton or cotton blends. Synthetics can cause irritation. Also, pay attention to the way in which you launder your clothing. Do not use harsh laundry detergent or fabric softener.

TIP! Pay attention to your choice of fabrics. Certain types of clothing can become a trigger for eczema.

People with eczema are usually told to avoid the sun if you suffer from eczema. It’s known that getting a lot of sun can burn it too. But know that Vitamin D deficiency is a factor when it comes to eczema. This deficiency can be caused by not enough sun exposure. The best thing you should try to aim for is about 15 minutes in the sun every day.

Make sure you moisturize your skin after bathing. This will lock the moisture into your skin. Showering opens the pores and keeps the skin vulnerable. Your body retains moisture for about three minutes after you finish your shower is over. This is the prime time to use moisturizer and increase the level of moisture to problem areas.

Should your eczema be patchy, use a humidifier to moisten the air. They release a moisturizing steam. There are drops of water in this steam, which moistens the air. This can help skin stay smooth and comfortable despite the season or weather. Make sure you always clean it properly when the time is right or it won’t work as well.

TIP! If your eczema is patchy and uncomfortable, you can try installing a new humidifier. It’ll put steam up into your indoor air.

A great remedy for eczema sufferers is evening primrose oil. This supplement is one that you can take in a pill form. This supplement contains a fatty acid that helps the skin. It can also help to reverse the lipid deficiencies in your skin and lower inflammation.

There are many triggers that may trigger eczema. You may discover that using certain products or things is when your eczema to flare up. Knowing what causes your outbreaks will allow you stay away from them and avoid as many skin issues as possible.

Moisturize your skin to reduce the amount of eczema flare-ups you get. Skin with moisture is flexible and soft, which makes it less likely to split or crack. Look for moisturizers that have a small amount of ingredients and no scent. Fragrances and chemicals used in some moisturizers can actually aggravate your eczema rather than helping to soothe or prevent it.

Temperature Changes

Don’t place the temperature changes of temperature. Some eczema might be really sensitive to changes in temperatures. This can help you to get your skin and body less stressed so you don’t have a lot of flare-ups. Stay cognizant of temperature changes likely to occur so you can anticipate their impact.

Try to learn what triggers eczema outbreaks for you. Could it be dust mites? Others may have issues with scented soaps. Identifying your triggers enables you to steer clear of them as much as possible. This might mean your habits will have to change, but in the end, you will be rewarded if it prevents an eczema flare up.

TIP! Know what your eczema is triggered by. Dust mites can be the cause in some people.

In short, there are many frustrated eczema sufferers out there. You don’t need to suffer that same frustration. Take action to save yourself and your skin before it’s too late. Make use of the tips you have learned here.

[gardencityvegans]

Weekend Reading, 6.24.18

https://www.thefullhelping.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/weekend_reading.jpg

A friend of mine told me that he recently went to a conference where all of the attendees seemed to be talking about perfectionism, in spite of that fact that it wasn’t the conference theme. They were discussing it as people who had been susceptible to impossible standards in the past, but now counted themselves lucky to have let perfectionism go.

As we were talking, it occurred to me that I haven’t thought about perfectionism in a long time, though it had a hold on me for years. Even after I stopped trying to do everything “right,” perfectionism (and to some extent, being “Type A”) was a big part of my identity. I called myself a “recovering perfectionist,” which was truthful, but in retrospect I think it was also my way of continuing to identify with perfectionism and communicate it to others. I didn’t want to be subject to oppressive standards anymore, but I hadn’t yet figured out who I was without them.

In the end, perfectionism exited my life out of necessity; I untangled from it because I didn’t have a choice. Living with bouts of depression and anxiety in the last few years has meant letting go of a lot of my self-imposed notions of what constitutes productivity, success, or a day well spent.

A common experience of depression, I think, is that small, routine asks can suddenly seem insurmountable: doing laundry, cleaning up, running errands. This would have sounded unbelievable to me at one point in my life, when these kinds of to-dos were just afterthoughts, but now I know what it’s like to struggle with the everyday.

I’m thinking back to an afternoon two summers ago that illustrates this perfectly: my anxiety had been particularly bad, and I’d been paralyzed by procrastination all day. By dinnertime I was genuinely proud of myself for having gotten out of the house to pick up groceries and mail a package. This was a radically different measure of productivity than I was used to, and it didn’t matter: I was relieved to have done something, anything.

I’m in a different place now, capable of fuller days, but my perspective remains valuably altered by that experience. I don’t wake up with a fixed agenda anymore. I don’t plan on doing more than I know I can handle. If I notice that tasks remain undone everyday on my modest to-do list, I take it as a sign that I need to plan on doing less, rather than wondering why I can’t do more.

I’ve learned that my capacity for doing and my tendency to get overwhelmed ebb and flow. Sometimes they shift for reasons that I can identify, like how I’m feeling physically or whether something has made me anxious. Sometimes they change suddenly and for no apparent reason. I don’t try to bully myself out of feeling overwhelmed; rather, I ask what would make me feel calmer and more steady.

I often remind myself of a mantra that my friend Maria gave herself when her MS symptoms started keeping her from the pace and routines that had become customary: “better than before.” The origin of this mantra was an ongoing struggle to keep tidy the home she shared with her young son. As Maria’s “functional self” receded, she noticed the presence of another self, who “though less physically versatile, was stronger than I ever could have imagined from the perspective of the one who functioned’ throughout the day. She began to show me things my functional self simply missed.”

One of those things, she goes on to say,

was to be able to notice when I was completely out of energy to exert myself. This might be when something was halfway wiped, or not wiped at all, but I had somehow managed to put some things away. She would know to say that’s enough for now. And she was very clever about what would satisfy my functional self, who would never have been satisfied with that’s enough. It sobered that functional self to learn when the diagnosis of MS finally came that the “forcing” she had habituated herself to was the worst thing to do if she wanted to preserve her physical abilities.  But as the saying goes, it’s really true that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. So my deeper wiser identity came up with something even more ingenious than this looming threat:

Better Than It Was.

Or, (depending on the context): Cleaner Than It Was.

These two statements became my mottos. And they still are. They allowed me to learn to pace myself while still satisfying that Functional Self that I was making what she considered progress through the daily requirements of life, even if many of them were slowed to a crawl or a downright standstill.  Better Than It Was.

Maria’s story is uniquely her own, and my own sense of high functionality has shifted for reasons that are uniquely mine. But her clever motto has given me great comfort since I first read about it on her blog. So, too, does this quote from Melody Beattie: “Our best yesterday was good enough; our best today is plenty good too.”

The best thing about letting go of perfectionism is developing a capacity to recognize that “our best” can look very different from moment to moment. There’s no longer an immovable standard of output. I wish that I’d been able to pry my ego away from productivity and being busy on my own, rather than being forced to reckon with a dramatic shift in my capacities, but in the end, it doesn’t matter how I got here. What matters is that I’m learning to be grateful for what I can do, rather than fixating on what I haven’t, or can’t.

Throughout all of this, I’ve had the tremendous luxury of being able to adjust my schedule and responsibilities in a way that allowed me to create a dynamic “new normal.” Not every person has the space to do this, depending on his or her professional and personal circumstances. I recognize and respect the many men and women who go through periods of depression and anxiety while also keeping up with fixed schedules. And of course I worry sometimes about my DI year: now that I’m learning how to take gentle care in the moments when I need to, what will it be like to temporarily lose control of my schedule and workload?

I don’t have an answer, but to some degree I suspect that I don’t need one. My routine next year will be a challenge, but so long as I can do my best without succumbing to the influence of perfectionism, I know I’ll be OK. Much as I’ve made my schedule more realistic, letting go of perfectionism has been an inside job. It resides in recognizing how futile perfectionism is, how it discourages me needlessly while keeping me from recognizing the good that I can do, and maybe have done (another observation that’s prompted by Beattie).

Here’s to a week—and a month, and a summer, and a year—of doing my best and trusting that my best is enough. I wish the same for you, too. And here’s the weekly roundup of links.

Recipes

I would never think to put fruit in a tabbouleh, but I love Katie’s creative mixture of blueberries, parsley, mint, and quinoa—I’d actually love to try it as a savory breakfast dish!

A very different kind of quinoa salad, but no less delicious: a curried mixture with red cabbage, raisins, and pumpkin seeds from Melanie of Veggie Jam.

Two recipes for summer entertaining caught my eye this past week. The first is these show-stopping chipotle cauliflower nachos from my friend Jeanine of Love & Lemons.

Number two is this platter of green summer rolls with mango miso sauce from Anya of Lazy Cat Kitchen. The sauce alone is calling to me, but I also love all of the tender green veggies here (asparagus, zucchini, broccolini).

Finally, a summery vegan pasta salad with creamy avocado dressing—perfect timing, as pasta salad’s been on my mind lately (and I may just have a recipe coming soon!).

Reads

1. This article is about a month old, but it’s very on-topic for today’s post: why you should stop being so hard on yourself, via The New York Times.

2. Ed Yong’s new article on the threat of imminent global pandemics frightened me (and the blurb under the title didn’t help), but it’s an important topic, and I’m glad that it’s being written about. Yong notes the medical supply shortages that are becoming increasingly problematic in the US; hopefully greater awareness might somehow inspire solutions.

3. Reporting on the termination of a major NIH study of alcohol, heart attack, and stroke, which was shut down when conflicts of interest were identified. It’s an important examination of the ethics of funding and scientific research.

4. Dispatches from the Gulf of California, where the vaquita—now the world’s rarest marine mammal—is on the brink of extinction.

5. I was so full of appreciation and respect when I read my friend Karen’s latest post on numbers and body acceptance.

Like Karen, I went through a long period of asking to be blind weighed at the doctor’s office and not owning a scale. That time served a purpose, but nowadays I can be aware of the number without identifying with it, which I’m grateful for. I’ve had a bunch of doctor’s appointments in the last month, and getting weighed has been the last thing on my mind: feeling more at home in my body has been my only point of focus.

Karen opens up about her own recent experience with the scale and the annual physical, then reflects on why she’s committed to being transparent about what “balance” looks like for her. It’s great to witness her journey unfolding.

On that inspiring note, happy Sunday—and from a celebratory NYC, happy pride! I’ll be circling back this week with my first fruit-filled dessert of the summer.

xo

[Read More ...] https://www.thefullhelping.com/weekend-reading-6-24-18/

[oovitus]

Weekend Reading, 6.24.18

A friend of mine told me that he recently went to a conference where all of the attendees seemed to be talking about perfectionism, in spite of that fact that it wasn’t the conference theme. They were discussing it as people who had been susceptible to impossible standards in the past, but now counted themselves lucky to have let perfectionism go.

As we were talking, it occurred to me that I haven’t thought about perfectionism in a long time, though it had a hold on me for years. Even after I stopped trying to do everything “right,” perfectionism (and to some extent, being “Type A”) was a big part of my identity. I called myself a “recovering perfectionist,” which was truthful, but in retrospect I think it was also my way of continuing to identify with perfectionism and communicate it to others. I didn’t want to be subject to oppressive standards anymore, but I hadn’t yet figured out who I was without them.

In the end, perfectionism exited my life out of necessity; I untangled from it because I didn’t have a choice. Living with bouts of depression and anxiety in the last few years has meant letting go of a lot of my self-imposed notions of what constitutes productivity, success, or a day well spent.

A common experience of depression, I think, is that small, routine asks can suddenly seem insurmountable: doing laundry, cleaning up, running errands. This would have sounded unbelievable to me at one point in my life, when these kinds of to-dos were just afterthoughts, but now I know what it’s like to struggle with the everyday.

I’m thinking back to an afternoon two summers ago that illustrates this perfectly: my anxiety had been particularly bad, and I’d been paralyzed by procrastination all day. By dinnertime I was genuinely proud of myself for having gotten out of the house to pick up groceries and mail a package. This was a radically different measure of productivity than I was used to, and it didn’t matter: I was relieved to have done something, anything.

I’m in a different place now, capable of fuller days, but my perspective remains valuably altered by that experience. I don’t wake up with a fixed agenda anymore. I don’t plan on doing more than I know I can handle. If I notice that tasks remain undone everyday on my modest to-do list, I take it as a sign that I need to plan on doing less, rather than wondering why I can’t do more.

I’ve learned that my capacity for doing and my tendency to get overwhelmed ebb and flow. Sometimes they shift for reasons that I can identify, like how I’m feeling physically or whether something has made me anxious. Sometimes they change suddenly and for no apparent reason. I don’t try to bully myself out of feeling overwhelmed; rather, I ask what would make me feel calmer and more steady.

I often remind myself of a mantra that my friend Maria gave herself when her MS symptoms started keeping her from the pace and routines that had become customary: “better than before.” The origin of this mantra was an ongoing struggle to keep tidy the home she shared with her young son. As Maria’s “functional self” receded, she noticed the presence of another self, who “though less physically versatile, was stronger than I ever could have imagined from the perspective of the one who functioned’ throughout the day. She began to show me things my functional self simply missed.”

One of those things, she goes on to say,

was to be able to notice when I was completely out of energy to exert myself. This might be when something was halfway wiped, or not wiped at all, but I had somehow managed to put some things away. She would know to say that’s enough for now. And she was very clever about what would satisfy my functional self, who would never have been satisfied with that’s enough. It sobered that functional self to learn when the diagnosis of MS finally came that the “forcing” she had habituated herself to was the worst thing to do if she wanted to preserve her physical abilities.  But as the saying goes, it’s really true that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. So my deeper wiser identity came up with something even more ingenious than this looming threat:

Better Than It Was.

Or, (depending on the context): Cleaner Than It Was.

These two statements became my mottos. And they still are. They allowed me to learn to pace myself while still satisfying that Functional Self that I was making what she considered progress through the daily requirements of life, even if many of them were slowed to a crawl or a downright standstill.  Better Than It Was.

Maria’s story is uniquely her own, and my own sense of high functionality has shifted for reasons that are uniquely mine. But her clever motto has given me great comfort since I first read about it on her blog. So, too, does this quote from Melody Beattie: “Our best yesterday was good enough; our best today is plenty good too.”

The best thing about letting go of perfectionism is developing a capacity to recognize that “our best” can look very different from moment to moment. There’s no longer an immovable standard of output. I wish that I’d been able to pry my ego away from productivity and being busy on my own, rather than being forced to reckon with a dramatic shift in my capacities, but in the end, it doesn’t matter how I got here. What matters is that I’m learning to be grateful for what I can do, rather than fixating on what I haven’t, or can’t.

Throughout all of this, I’ve had the tremendous luxury of being able to adjust my schedule and responsibilities in a way that allowed me to create a dynamic “new normal.” Not every person has the space to do this, depending on his or her professional and personal circumstances. I recognize and respect the many men and women who go through periods of depression and anxiety while also keeping up with fixed schedules. And of course I worry sometimes about my DI year: now that I’m learning how to take gentle care in the moments when I need to, what will it be like to temporarily lose control of my schedule and workload?

I don’t have an answer, but to some degree I suspect that I don’t need one. My routine next year will be a challenge, but so long as I can do my best without succumbing to the influence of perfectionism, I know I’ll be OK. Much as I’ve made my schedule more realistic, letting go of perfectionism has been an inside job. It resides in recognizing how futile perfectionism is, how it discourages me needlessly while keeping me from recognizing the good that I can do, and maybe have done (another observation that’s prompted by Beattie).

Here’s to a week—and a month, and a summer, and a year—of doing my best and trusting that my best is enough. I wish the same for you, too. And here’s the weekly roundup of links.

Recipes

I would never think to put fruit in a tabbouleh, but I love Katie’s creative mixture of blueberries, parsley, mint, and quinoa—I’d actually love to try it as a savory breakfast dish!

A very different kind of quinoa salad, but no less delicious: a curried mixture with red cabbage, raisins, and pumpkin seeds from Melanie of Veggie Jam.

Two recipes for summer entertaining caught my eye this past week. The first is these show-stopping chipotle cauliflower nachos from my friend Jeanine of Love & Lemons.

Number two is this platter of green summer rolls with mango miso sauce from Anya of Lazy Cat Kitchen. The sauce alone is calling to me, but I also love all of the tender green veggies here (asparagus, zucchini, broccolini).

Finally, a summery vegan pasta salad with creamy avocado dressing—perfect timing, as pasta salad’s been on my mind lately (and I may just have a recipe coming soon!).

Reads

1. This article is about a month old, but it’s very on-topic for today’s post: why you should stop being so hard on yourself, via The New York Times.

2. Ed Yong’s new article on the threat of imminent global pandemics frightened me (and the blurb under the title didn’t help), but it’s an important topic, and I’m glad that it’s being written about. Yong notes the medical supply shortages that are becoming increasingly problematic in the US; hopefully greater awareness might somehow inspire solutions.

3. Reporting on the termination of a major NIH study of alcohol, heart attack, and stroke, which was shut down when conflicts of interest were identified. It’s an important examination of the ethics of funding and scientific research.

4. Dispatches from the Gulf of California, where the vaquita—now the world’s rarest marine mammal—is on the brink of extinction.

5. I was so full of appreciation and respect when I read my friend Karen’s latest post on numbers and body acceptance.

Like Karen, I went through a long period of asking to be blind weighed at the doctor’s office and not owning a scale. That time served a purpose, but nowadays I can be aware of the number without identifying with it, which I’m grateful for. I’ve had a bunch of doctor’s appointments in the last month, and getting weighed has been the last thing on my mind: feeling more at home in my body has been my only point of focus.

Karen opens up about her own recent experience with the scale and the annual physical, then reflects on why she’s committed to being transparent about what “balance” looks like for her. It’s great to witness her journey unfolding.

On that inspiring note, happy Sunday—and from a celebratory NYC, happy pride! I’ll be circling back this week with my first fruit-filled dessert of the summer.

xo

The post Weekend Reading, 6.24.18 appeared first on The Full Helping.

Weekend Reading, 6.24.18 published first on

[oovitus]

Weekend Reading, 6.24.18

A friend of mine told me that he recently went to a conference where all of the attendees seemed to be talking about perfectionism, in spite of that fact that it wasn’t the conference theme. They were discussing it as people who had been susceptible to impossible standards in the past, but now counted themselves lucky to have let perfectionism go.

As we were talking, it occurred to me that I haven’t thought about perfectionism in a long time, though it had a hold on me for years. Even after I stopped trying to do everything “right,” perfectionism (and to some extent, being “Type A”) was a big part of my identity. I called myself a “recovering perfectionist,” which was truthful, but in retrospect I think it was also my way of continuing to identify with perfectionism and communicate it to others. I didn’t want to be subject to oppressive standards anymore, but I hadn’t yet figured out who I was without them.

In the end, perfectionism exited my life out of necessity; I untangled from it because I didn’t have a choice. Living with bouts of depression and anxiety in the last few years has meant letting go of a lot of my self-imposed notions of what constitutes productivity, success, or a day well spent.

A common experience of depression, I think, is that small, routine asks can suddenly seem insurmountable: doing laundry, cleaning up, running errands. This would have sounded unbelievable to me at one point in my life, when these kinds of to-dos were just afterthoughts, but now I know what it’s like to struggle with the everyday.

I’m thinking back to an afternoon two summers ago that illustrates this perfectly: my anxiety had been particularly bad, and I’d been paralyzed by procrastination all day. By dinnertime I was genuinely proud of myself for having gotten out of the house to pick up groceries and mail a package. This was a radically different measure of productivity than I was used to, and it didn’t matter: I was relieved to have done something, anything.

I’m in a different place now, capable of fuller days, but my perspective remains valuably altered by that experience. I don’t wake up with a fixed agenda anymore. I don’t plan on doing more than I know I can handle. If I notice that tasks remain undone everyday on my modest to-do list, I take it as a sign that I need to plan on doing less, rather than wondering why I can’t do more.

I’ve learned that my capacity for doing and my tendency to get overwhelmed ebb and flow. Sometimes they shift for reasons that I can identify, like how I’m feeling physically or whether something has made me anxious. Sometimes they change suddenly and for no apparent reason. I don’t try to bully myself out of feeling overwhelmed; rather, I ask what would make me feel calmer and more steady.

I often remind myself of a mantra that my friend Maria gave herself when her MS symptoms started keeping her from the pace and routines that had become customary: “better than before.” The origin of this mantra was an ongoing struggle to keep tidy the home she shared with her young son. As Maria’s “functional self” receded, she noticed the presence of another self, who “though less physically versatile, was stronger than I ever could have imagined from the perspective of the one who functioned’ throughout the day. She began to show me things my functional self simply missed.”

One of those things, she goes on to say,

was to be able to notice when I was completely out of energy to exert myself. This might be when something was halfway wiped, or not wiped at all, but I had somehow managed to put some things away. She would know to say that’s enough for now. And she was very clever about what would satisfy my functional self, who would never have been satisfied with that’s enough. It sobered that functional self to learn when the diagnosis of MS finally came that the “forcing” she had habituated herself to was the worst thing to do if she wanted to preserve her physical abilities.  But as the saying goes, it’s really true that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. So my deeper wiser identity came up with something even more ingenious than this looming threat:

Better Than It Was.

Or, (depending on the context): Cleaner Than It Was.

These two statements became my mottos. And they still are. They allowed me to learn to pace myself while still satisfying that Functional Self that I was making what she considered progress through the daily requirements of life, even if many of them were slowed to a crawl or a downright standstill.  Better Than It Was.

Maria’s story is uniquely her own, and my own sense of high functionality has shifted for reasons that are uniquely mine. But her clever motto has given me great comfort since I first read about it on her blog. So, too, does this quote from Melody Beattie: “Our best yesterday was good enough; our best today is plenty good too.”

The best thing about letting go of perfectionism is developing a capacity to recognize that “our best” can look very different from moment to moment. There’s no longer an immovable standard of output. I wish that I’d been able to pry my ego away from productivity and being busy on my own, rather than being forced to reckon with a dramatic shift in my capacities, but in the end, it doesn’t matter how I got here. What matters is that I’m learning to be grateful for what I can do, rather than fixating on what I haven’t, or can’t.

Throughout all of this, I’ve had the tremendous luxury of being able to adjust my schedule and responsibilities in a way that allowed me to create a dynamic “new normal.” Not every person has the space to do this, depending on his or her professional and personal circumstances. I recognize and respect the many men and women who go through periods of depression and anxiety while also keeping up with fixed schedules. And of course I worry sometimes about my DI year: now that I’m learning how to take gentle care in the moments when I need to, what will it be like to temporarily lose control of my schedule and workload?

I don’t have an answer, but to some degree I suspect that I don’t need one. My routine next year will be a challenge, but so long as I can do my best without succumbing to the influence of perfectionism, I know I’ll be OK. Much as I’ve made my schedule more realistic, letting go of perfectionism has been an inside job. It resides in recognizing how futile perfectionism is, how it discourages me needlessly while keeping me from recognizing the good that I can do, and maybe have done (another observation that’s prompted by Beattie).

Here’s to a week—and a month, and a summer, and a year—of doing my best and trusting that my best is enough. I wish the same for you, too. And here’s the weekly roundup of links.

Recipes

I would never think to put fruit in a tabbouleh, but I love Katie’s creative mixture of blueberries, parsley, mint, and quinoa—I’d actually love to try it as a savory breakfast dish!

A very different kind of quinoa salad, but no less delicious: a curried mixture with red cabbage, raisins, and pumpkin seeds from Melanie of Veggie Jam.

Two recipes for summer entertaining caught my eye this past week. The first is these show-stopping chipotle cauliflower nachos from my friend Jeanine of Love & Lemons.

Number two is this platter of green summer rolls with mango miso sauce from Anya of Lazy Cat Kitchen. The sauce alone is calling to me, but I also love all of the tender green veggies here (asparagus, zucchini, broccolini).

Finally, a summery vegan pasta salad with creamy avocado dressing—perfect timing, as pasta salad’s been on my mind lately (and I may just have a recipe coming soon!).

Reads

1. This article is about a month old, but it’s very on-topic for today’s post: why you should stop being so hard on yourself, via The New York Times.

2. Ed Yong’s new article on the threat of imminent global pandemics frightened me (and the blurb under the title didn’t help), but it’s an important topic, and I’m glad that it’s being written about. Yong notes the medical supply shortages that are becoming increasingly problematic in the US; hopefully greater awareness might somehow inspire solutions.

3. Reporting on the termination of a major NIH study of alcohol, heart attack, and stroke, which was shut down when conflicts of interest were identified. It’s an important examination of the ethics of funding and scientific research.

4. Dispatches from the Gulf of California, where the vaquita—now the world’s rarest marine mammal—is on the brink of extinction.

5. I was so full of appreciation and respect when I read my friend Karen’s latest post on numbers and body acceptance.

Like Karen, I went through a long period of asking to be blind weighed at the doctor’s office and not owning a scale. That time served a purpose, but nowadays I can be aware of the number without identifying with it, which I’m grateful for. I’ve had a bunch of doctor’s appointments in the last month, and getting weighed has been the last thing on my mind: feeling more at home in my body has been my only point of focus.

Karen opens up about her own recent experience with the scale and the annual physical, then reflects on why she’s committed to being transparent about what “balance” looks like for her. It’s great to witness her journey unfolding.

On that inspiring note, happy Sunday—and from a celebratory NYC, happy pride! I’ll be circling back this week with my first fruit-filled dessert of the summer.

xo

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