#when girls in the audience are sad bc their boyfriends broke up with them and are crying in the audience

[ifyoulovemeletmebinge]

Why do you hate Joey? And please don't spoil beyond season 2 for me.

hi! 

this is my first ever ask so this is kinda cool alrighty get ready bc this is going to be a LONG post. i’ll try my best to avoid spoilers. 

why i dislike joey potter from dawson’s creek: 

ok so I think what my growing hatred for Joey Potter mainly boils down to is just the fact that she is the type of character who has no personality, she is simply empty. when she does want something it’s because it helps her only, and she’s very selfish. this is hard to explain in the context of s2 which is where you are, but i am almost done with the last season and i feel this is where her character has turned to focus on over the course of the entire show. 

i will say, i completely respect other’s opinion of joey, mine is just that she’s not my favorite by any means in the show. i actually think she’s my least favorite. so i’ll try to explain that! 

let’s start with s1: 

- i actually enjoyed joey a lot in s1, i thought she was fun! she’s sassy and her “im beautful yet unaware of it” thing kinda worked. this aspect of her only works in the beginning though (since she’s young and that’s the entire point of being beautiful and young) and something i find aggravating about later seasons is this continued theme of unawareness that doesn’t fit with her character anymore. by that point, SHE SHOULD KNOW SHE’S HOT OKAY. 

- another s1 point is her relationship with Dawson. i was a strong shipper until ~certain future events~ happened because i liked them together. Girl Next Door is in love with Best Friend who’s oblivious to it, it’s a cute trope! i think for the first season, their focus on Joey’s suffering from just recently discovering her feelings for Dawson and trying to navigate them made for a good complex storyline for the Lead Female of the show. there was an exploration of female sentiment there that i personally haven’t seen a lot of, so i was interested. her relationship with Dawson in s1 was overall pretty good bc it set up excellent foundations character and plot wise for the show. 

- my only criticism (more like character-choice-to-eye-roll-to) for her relationship with Dawson in s1 is her treatment of Jen because of it. we all know Dawson falls for Jen super quick and that’s not his fault or Jen’s or Joey’s yet she chooses to blame Jen and antagonizes her the whole season because of it. basically, she was a bitch to Jen. now, that’s not to say that it didn’t make sense because it did, and i think it worked well since we need some Conflict here, but thinking back on it now after watching almost the whole show, her choices and behaviors towards Jen in s1 shift from a childish jealously funny thingy to outright unlikeable aspect of her character that is only built upon as the seasons continue. i would argue this is the beginning spark or preview into the Bitch she will eventually become. 

moving on to s2: i personally don’t remember much about joey from s2 bc my brain is Pacey Witter centered and he really shined during s2 so i apologize if i get something wrong, i’m outside my lane here teehee

- i feel that joey’s character in s2 starts it’s shift into Bitch Land and also Lost Land. this is where i feel they started to lose control of her, but something i find interesting about that is that the loss of control is extremely subtle up to the point where when you finally look back in retrospect, you can find those seeds being planted as early as s2. 

- let’s tackle her relationship with Dawson in s2. there’s a lot to unpack here, but let’s start with the fact that it started REALLY WELL!!! our queen was getting the boy of her dreams!!!!!!!!!!! and good for her, but ofc, because this is a tv show and they need drama for the ratings (i’m guessing :)) everything falls apart very quickly. i would also argue that the choice they made to break Dawson and Joey up in s2 was very definitive and formative for her character for the rest of the series; the seeds were planted when they broke up. 

- her reasons for breaking up with Dawson were understandable **at first** in my opinion, there wasn’t much reason at all to break up with him. yes, she needed to find herself (just like any young person does), but that doesn’t mean she couldn’t do it with Dawson. i actually thought they would do great at discovering her together, because i think Dawson is supportive and sensitive enough to help her. her excuse that she can’t do her art while dating Dawson was bullcrap. i could go on and on about why that is, but the best evidence of it is the fact that she hopped from Dawson to Jack with no hard feelings and continued with her art the same as before. her art didn’t get any better when she switched boyfriends so she really can’t use it as a scapegoat to explain breaking up with Dawson. 

- this break-up and then her romance with Jack is what really gets me about her in s2 though. i think Dawson actually commented on it: she wanted to be alone to find herself, but then she started dating Jack almost immediately after that decision. this is where Joey first starts contradicting herself. this is where she first starts her ever-running theme of not knowing what she wants from her life at any point in time. for inexplainable reasons, her character is confused and she has to lead everyone else along and confuse them with her. honestly, poor Dawson. she both Wants and Doesn’t Want things, and her inability to stick to one is annoying to watch. and it only gets worse! 

- her mistreatment of Jen continues, but what really gets me about her treatment of other characters in s2 is her relationship with Jack after he comes out. Jack has become one of my favorite characters in the show and his coming-out arc is (in my opinion) done extremely well for a gay character at that time. we don’t even have arcs like those THESE DAYS OF THE 21ST CENTURY WTFF!!!!!! it’s also a very important arc to me. i can’t cite all the evidence, but her friendship with him after he comes out is so messed up. she constantly acts like that weird Straight Girl Who Needs a Gay Best Friend. fucked up. she always apologizes and goes back on it after Jack has to snap at her multiple times, but it still makes her unlikable and inconsiderate to anyone but herself. Joey starts showing through her relationship with Jack that she only cares about herself. when she was dating him, she did it to feel good about HER art not because she really truly liked him, and when he came out, she wanted him to be a Stereotypical Gay Man for HERSELF, not because it was what Jack wanted, and he outright told her various times. she’s selfish. she doesn’t care about breaking Dawson’s heart and using Jack, she only sees her own benefit when she’s playing with these boys as if they’re not real people with feelings. this is another running theme that worsens her character throughout the seasons. 

- by the end of s2 i think her and Dawson are back together (i’m honestly not sure i was invested in Pacey <3) but then the whole thing with her dad happens and that was really interesting to me. her decision to breakup with Dawson in the s2 finale after what he did.... MADE SENSE. i was kind of sad about it, but it was right!!!!! she had to do that!!!! she went through a lot of trauma bc of it and being with Dawson would just remind her of it, it wasn’t fair to her!!!!! i thought, hmmm this is the cataclysm of their relationship here again. this would allow her to finally find herself after being lost all of s2 and then she can be with Dawson again. it was all set up to match together perfectly. s3 proved me wrong :) but that’s for another post. 

Joey is, at her core, an empty shell of a character. she starts off well and full of personality, but either bc of writing choices, or the audience reaction at the time they made this show, those aspects of her character start chipping away and she just becomes this unattainable sorcerer of men, who’s too good for any boy, but never good enough to be by herself. this is not the type of woman i personally enjoy watching, it gets tough watching her break everyone’s heart one by one just bc she “doesn’t know, isn’t sure.” it’s repetitive and makes for crappy drama effect. it’s frustrating. 

i’m sorry this is so long, i hope this makes it clear why she’s my least favorite character in Dawson’s Creek. again, i respect all opinions of her character. hey! if you love Joey Potter, then cool for you!!!! she’s just not that character for me, and looking just at s1-2, these are my reasons why. 

[ohtheseboysilove]

Unwanted feelings  [Ben Hardy x F!Reader]

Words : 3, 900 K +

Warnings : angst, fluff, sad joe hours

Summary : Joe fall for Ben’s girlfriend. And obviously, it hurt.

Note :  Poor baby Joe !!! I wrote these two parts in only few days bc i was super inspired for this request, thanks again @gardenjungle ! There a part 2 almost done to finish this story bc it would been too heavy in one part, tell me what you think lovies !!

☀ Masterlist ☀ 800 followers celebration !!!

Joe never meant to feel something for (Y/N), he was aware how wrong it was. Ben and (Y/N) were together for five years now and, recently, they get engaged. Joe’s heart broke at the new but he had no right to feel sad or jealous, she wasn’t his and she never will. But feelings weren’t something that Joe or anyone could control, they were here and there weren’t much Joe could do expect waiting for them to fade away.

Ben introduced (Y/N) to him and all the bohemian rhapsody cast during the shooting of the movie and at first, it was just an innocent crush for Joe. (Y/N) was a beautiful girl and even a blind man could see that. She had the prettiest and most charming smile he ever saw, his heart fluttered heavily in his chest every time. He also really like her doe-eyes, full of happiness and excitement each time she went on set, making Joe weak on his knees. Yes, she was absolutely a true beauty.

But things went down when they became friends and saw each other more and more, Ben was very happy that his girlfriend and his new friends were having fun together so he brought her everywhere. Joe felt himself falling harder. She was also a really fun person, always giggling at his jokes, even when they weren’t funny, she was definitively a good audience. Always a witty comment to tease back Joe, catching him off guard most of the time because he was noticing how similar they were and how much he wanted to know her more. Without Ben. But it was awful thoughts to have so he kept his mouth shut. Ben used to call (Y/N) sunshine and Joe never more agreed in his life, she was a literal ball of pure joy, in an eternal good mood and the red hair knew they could had been such a good match. He was just five years too short, life could really be unfair.

The other thing which wasn’t helping Joe about forgetting his feelings was how much (Y/N) was a touchy-feely person. She loved hugs and cheek kisses and everything that was friendly and totally innocent but it made Joe shivered every time. The other day, she cheekily pressed a finger on his nose, making a boop noise and Joe almost chocked at the gesture. She didn’t seems to notice how much this simple and childish act had make her friend blushed, Ben had just entered the room and nothing else existed anymore. Usually she only did the nose-boop to her boyfriend, loving to tease him and after that, Joe had think about the meaning, why she was suddenly so friendly ? Did that mean something ? Was he overthinking a stupid think ? He didn’t have the answer and wasn’t sure if he wanted them.

Joe knew he was too deep in with (Y/N) to not fall in love with her, after a year or so, during shooting, trying to repress his feelings for Ben’s girlfriend, it was worse than at the beginning. But during the seven next months, he saw her less, him and the cast were promoting the movie around the world and he didn’t think about her too much. He just knew she was with Ben in Italy for the shooting a new Netflix movie and he honestly thought that he was finally free of these stupid and forbidden feelings for (Y/N). He was so piss off with himself because Ben and (Y/N) were such dear friends to him and he could ruin everything if someone knew his real thoughts about her.

So when Ben invited everyone to celebrate his engagement with (Y/N), Joe was rather confident, his feelings were weaker and almost none existent at this point. Life was good again and he could hang out with his best mates without fearing to spill his feelings for (Y/N). But life wasn’t that easy. He should have know that. As soon as he stepped into the brand new house of Ben and (Y/N), he felt weird. Especially when Gwilym and Rami were doing bets about when (Y/N) would get pregnant. ‘In the next six months!’ Rami seemed very sure of himself and Joe’ stomach twisted uncomfortably. And then he saw her. Well, not really at first because she literally jumped on him, hugging him tightly and rambling about how much she had miss everyone. Her lips pressing in a loud Mwah! on his burning cheek and then she screamed for five minutes straight with Lucy about her engagement ring. The two girls gushing excitedly about how beautiful the jewellery was, looking at it in every angle of light possible, bouncing on their feet like kids in front of a candy shop.

Allen and his wife snorted loudly when Lucy sent a knowing glance to her boyfriend, Rami swallowed nervously at the silent meaning ‘what are you waiting to ask me the same question dumbass ?’ He could swore she actually mouthed the word dumbass.

Joe felt even weirder when he hugged Ben, who was telling him how happy he was to see him. Then the red hair looked back at (Y/N) and the guilt and shame were now very clearly the reason he felt weird. His feelings for (Y/N) hit him like a brick in his stomach, coming back even stronger than before. She was also prettier than he remembered or maybe it was just her glow from her recent engagement that was making her so breath-taking, she was literally shinning. The rest of the evening was blurry for Joe, he drank much more than necessary but it was the only thing he had to survive that night. Especially when Ben and (Y/N) stood up, his arm around her waist as he raised a toast at his future wife, telling everyone how much he loved her and how excited he was to spend the rest of his life with her by his side. The words of Ben weren’t the most painful for him, not even when he talked about having kids with her, no. The worst was the way (Y/N) was looking at him, her head raised toward the blond, eyes glossy and a smile of pure adoration on her features, like he was the only person in the room at this moment. It was love, pure and raw. Ben bowed to give her kiss and she beamed at the gesture, her fingers caressing his cheek so softly that it felt too intimate for Joe to watch. He wanted to do nothing else than go home and cry. And that what he did. After saying he was feeling sick, and it wasn’t a lie, only it wasn’t from the alcohol, but he kept this detail for himself, he left in a Uber and sobbed during all the way back to his place.

Joe made his best to avoid the couple during the next months, he was so ashamed of himself, he was supposed to be happy for his friends, not stupidly jealous. But he didn’t want to raise any suspicion and so he found excuses to not go mostly when (Y/N) was around, focusing on going out with only the boys. He even had a girlfriend! Her name was Molly, she was cute and adorably small and Joe liked her very much, she was really a nice girl. But she wasn’t (Y/N). He felt horrible because he was desperate to have a date at (Y/N) and Ben’s wedding, he couldn’t go alone, he would just break down. That why, when he noticed the way the waitress from his favourite café was looking at him, he asked her for a date. And from there, they started dating, making forget the pain in his heart for few moments.

Exactly eight months after the engagement party, it was the wedding day. Joe was sick, truly sick. The thought of watching the woman he was deeply in love with, marrying one his best friend was making him almost throw up. And he was the best man of Ben, like his life wasn’t enough of a joke but he couldn’t have said no to his friend. Despite being in love with the bride-to-be, he was happy for his friends, it was a bitter-sweet feeling.

“I’m so fucking nervous” Ben breathed as he watched himself in the mirror, straightening his vest for the million times. “What if she don’t come ? Maybe we planned our wedding too fast, maybe she is already far away and I’m gonna end up alone at the altar and–“

“Ben, relax, it’s just the wedding nerves which are talking” Joe put a friendly hand on his shoulder, smiling at him. “She loves you, it easy to see that mate, you and her belong together, she will come today, I promise you that” The red hair added with an emotional voice and Ben shook slowly his head, giving him a grateful smile.

“You’re right, she loves me and today we are going to get married” The blond took a deep breath then a sip of his neat whiskey – to calm his nerves but he was careful to not get drunk either – and readjusted his bow tie with shaky hands. He noticed how Joe discretely wiped his watering eyes and gave him a tight hug. “Don’t start crying now mate or I’m gonna cry too, I can’t go to the altar with puffy eyes” He joked with weak voice, making his best to swallow back his tears.

“I’m just so happy for the both of you” Joe replied with a sad smile. It wasn’t completely the reason for his tears but he wouldn’t never say the truth to Ben. “Let’s get you married, Jones”

"The future bride want to see you, best man" Lucy’s head popped up by the door and smiled fondly at Joe and Ben’s embrace.

"I’m coming" The red hair nodded and patted Ben’ shoulder. "I see you at the altar" He winked at the blond who chuckled lightly, still trying to shake out his nerves.

Joe followed Lucy in a long hallway until (Y/N)’s room. He took a deep breath before entering after the little blond, a bit anxious to see her in her wedding dress.

She was peering at the window, watching the guests walking to their seats for the ceremony. Joe’s breath itched in his throat at the sight. Now he was certain she never had been so stunning. Her white wedding dress was hugging her perfectly and wasn’t too classic, it was a true reflection of (Y/N) personality. She had a light makeup because I’m going to cry anyway! she had say to Lucy with an already glossy gaze. The little blond had left to check if everything was ready for the most important day of her friend. Joe had no idea for how long he stayed quiet, looking at her with pure wonder and so much fondness. The way her brows were frowning just a tad and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth were showing that she was nervous.

"You are beautiful" Joe breathed suddenly like he couldn’t keep it for himself anymore. (Y/N) jumped at the voice and turned around with a light giggle. "Absolutely perfect" It was probably the only day he could give her so deep compliments without seeming too desperately in love with her.

"Thank you Joe" She blushed and made a twirl on herself, making the red hair clapped. "You look good too, very nice suit" She smiled widely, her voice was sweating with excitement.

"Lucy said you wanted to see me ?" In a cheesy romcom it would be the perfect moment for (Y/N) to confess that she couldn’t marry Ben because she was in love with him instead. He would run away with her without a single hesitation, he didn’t care how mean that sounded, he would do it in a heartbeat.

But of course, that wasn’t the reason she called for him. Ben was the reason, her future husband and the love of her life.

"Is he okay ? Still want to marry me, right ?" Her fingers were fidgeting together as she sat on the sofa. "I’m so nervous"

"Ben is in the same state as you (Y/N). He is and I quote so fucking nervous that my ass is literally sweating, Joe, my ass is sweating!" The bride-to-be let out an airy laugh echoed in the room, her eyes glittering with adoration. "So yeah, he is nervous but he is very eager to marry you" Joe murmured, his gaze exploring every inch of her beautiful face, he didn’t want to forget this image.

"That sound like my Benny" She replied with a honey coated voice, her finger playing absent-mindedly with her engagement ring. Soon to be exchange for a wedding one. "I’m so excited Joe and so damn nervous too, what if I tripped on my way to the altar ? Oh my god, this is totally something that could happen to me !" She clasped her hand on her mouth with a loud gasp, her mind racing at the thought.

"I’m sure Ben would still marry you anyway" Joe chuckled and handed her a glass of bubbly champagne. She thanked him quietly and took a little sip, savouring the taste on her tongue. "I never saw you so stress before, you have no reason to doubt about your marriage" He gently rubbed her arm and she sighed deeply, her leg bouncing on the floor.

"I...I’m just...scared" She whispered, her eyes glued on the drink. "Sometimes I feel like Ben shouldn’t be with me, he is a freaking famous actor now and I’m still...me, the old and boring (Y/N)" She sniffled quietly before taking a bigger sip. "I’m afraid, one day he will notice that too, he could have any beautiful model or actress in the world but no, he is still with me and I know he loves me but...he could go for so much better" Her voice broke at the end of her sentence as well as Joe’s heart.

The red hair shook his head and grabbed her shoulders.

"(Y/N), look at me. This is bullshit okay ? Ben is crazy about you and in few minutes he will be waiting for you at the altar, you can’t think like that" She nodded slowly, her chest panting a bit with anxiety. "You are...I don’t even know how to describe how perfect you are, you’re funny and smart and incredibly caring, always brightening the room every time you step inside. And you are so beautiful, I wish you could see yourself the way I — the way Ben see you. He is madly in love with you" (Y/N) froze, blinking furiously and she wasn’t sure if Joe was really speaking about Ben anymore. The look in his eyes...she was sure he didn’t look at Lucy that way.

"Joe..." She didn’t know what she wanted to say or to ask, she was too confused right now.

Joe locked his gaze with her and saw the surprise in her eyes, he could see how she was wondering about his words, almost discovering his dangerous secret. And he never wanted to kiss her so badly before. Her pretty lips, covered in a light shade of pink, shinning and terribly inviting, seemed to call him. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. Instead he cleared his voice and stood up, placing his trembling hands deep in his pockets.

"Sorry I already took too much of your time, I need to go, Ben’s probably waiting for me" He gave her a fake smile and hugged her quickly. "You’re absolutely perfect for each other, stop doubting yourself, okay ?"

She nodded and watched him leaves, her mind clouded with questions. But Lucy came back right after, followed by (Y/N)’s dad and marrying Ben was the only thought floating in her mind.

The ceremony had been beautiful, in a little, cosy garden coated with flowers everywhere. It was like looking at a Disney movie and the bride and groom-to be were definitively looking like a prince and princess at the altar, both of their gazes glossy before the start. When (Y/N) had appear, Ben had gasp loudly, lips pinched together as he tried to shake away the tears. The first row of guest had let out a collective Aaww, all of them melting at the flustered Ben. The wedding symphony was echoing through the garden as (Y/N) walked slowly, her arm crossed tightly with her father’s, an adoring smile only destined to her future husband. Her cheeks were already soaked with tears, happy tears obviously. Joe, as well as Ben, didn’t look away from her for a split second, he couldn’t stop. For a minute it felt like she was walking to him, her glittering eyes looking at him and he smiled sadly, a shaky breath leaving his parted breath because he knew it wasn’t the truth.

That was almost the only thing he remembered from that night, booze helped him forget the rest. The vows had been so deep and sweet toward each other, promising eternal love then the kiss, loving and sweet one, sealing their union and putting definitively Joe out of the game. Which was a stupid thought really, because he never had been in the game to begin with, it always had been (Y/N) and Ben. He was just the idiot who was in love with the last person he should. He watched them all night, twirling together at the rhythm of the music, gazes locked with each other and smiling so widely, it was painful to watch for Joe.

"You’re okay Sweetheart ?" Molly plopped herself in his lap, throwing an arm around his neck as Joe was sitting alone, watching the others danced. He swallowed back a grimace at the nickname Sweetheart. He didn’t like it. The only time he loved it was during a drinking game, when (Y/N) and him were married —meaning they had to drink as much as the other did — and she had a lot of fun calling him Sweetheart during all the evening. Now, in Molly’s mouth, it just sounded stupid.

"I’m great" He replied before stealing another glass of champagne from a waiter. 

"That was a lovely wedding, wasn’t it ?" Molly sighed as she watched the bride and groom sharing a sweet kiss, both of them giggling like kids. "They look so happy together" Ben made (Y/N) twirled on herself before catching her and pushing her flush on his chest, rubbing their noses together.

He hummed in agreement and gave her a light peck on the lips, knowing she was waiting for that. She smiled and blushed before resting her head on his shoulder sighing softly. Joe knew he was very selfish in his relation with Molly, she was clearly into him and, well, him...was trying to forget (Y/N), it wasn’t nice from to not be honest with her but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth.

**

Joe needed to forget about his feelings, it was an emergency now. Ben and her were freaking married, it had to stop. He was decided to. That why he didn’t understand how he could have made the biggest mistake of his life during that evening.

"(Y/N), your tan look so good on you ! I’m super jealous !" Lucy gushed when they all arrived to Gwilym’s new place. "And no bra mark ? Someone had been cheekily topless during her honeymoon" She grinned at (Y/N) who blushed a bit but smirked anyway.

"Believe me or not, most of my clothes disappeared as soon as we arrived in Bali" she giggled and shared an intimate glance with her husband who wasn’t far, listening to the conversation.

"Was too hot for clothes, sunshine" The blond replied and stole a kiss from the newly bride who happily deepened it, making there friends whistled. "And with tits like yours, wearing a bikini top would be a total insult to your body, too pretty for that" He playfully smacked her ass as she gasped loudly, throwing him a shocked look which quickly turned a soft one when he kissed her again and murmured a low I love you.

"Well, I guess your honeymoon went more than great" Gwilym smiled affectionately at the couple, taking a sip of his beer.

"It was perfect" (Y/N) gushed with dreamy eyes as they all walked in the little garden. The weather was really nice and the sky clear, they all sat in the garden chairs, drinks in their hands. Ben made grabby hands toward his wife and she rolled her eyes but sat on his lap anyway. "Silly" She chuckled and nested her head against his neck.

Ben told everyone about the honeymoon, how the place was a real little paradise and Joe was pretending that everything was okay. But it wasn’t. He was ashamed but he couldn’t forget Ben’s words about (Y/N)’s nipples. His thoughts were going wild and it was fucking wrong, his gaze wandering few times on her top, which she was wearing without a bra, letting the shape of her tits visible. Joe swallowed nervously at the sight, cursing himself.

Most of the night went like that, good mood, few drinks and Gwilym ordered pizzas for everyone as they all told each other the last gossips of their respective life. Joe felt lonely. Gwilym was with his fiancée, an arm around her shoulders, Lucy and Rami was cuddling in the bench and (Y/N) was still on Ben’s lap, his arms wrapped around her waist. And Joe was all by himself as Molly had other plans for that night.

Before it was time to go, Joe was in the bathroom, not feeling great. His heart was broken, spending all the evening with the sight of (Y/N) and Ben glued together was painful. And he also had way too much drinks. Spinning head, slurred words and twisted stomach. Pathetic.

"Oh, sorry!" (Y/N) exclaimed when she opened the bathroom door and found Joe, bended above the sink, looking pale. "You’re okay Joe ?" She frowned her brows and entered the bathroom, taking a closer look at her friend.

"Fu...fuckin perfect" He hiccuped before splashing water on his face.

"Someone is very drunk" (Y/N) shook her head with a little smile. "Come on, let’s order you an Uber. We’re all leaving anyway" She slid an arm around his waist when he almost tripped on his own feet, trying to take a step forward.

They slowly walked on the long hallway and Joe was sweating, she never had been so close to him for such a long time. He could feel her breath on his neck and there faces were only few inches from each other.

"Wait, I...give me a minute, m’ not feeling great" He laid against the wall, his eyes closed and took deep breath, doing his best to not vomit. "Fuck, my head" He whined, everything was spinning around and he hated that sensation.

"Joe, are you going to throw up ? Should I get Gwil ? You look really pale !" She bowed her head a little, reached eyes level with him and looked at him through her eyelashes.

"I just need a second" Joe protested, his heart beating furiously in his chest at the closeness with the woman he was in love with. Her pretty eyes was making him weak on his knees and the butterflies in his stomach were going crazy, suddenly he wasn’t feeling so sick anymore.

"You’re sure ? You don’t look—" Joe couldn’t take it anymore and in a very stupid and drunk gesture, he grabbed her neck and crushed his lips against her.

**

Tag list :  @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows

[planetjeon]

i’m not her. | mingyu [pt.1]

inspired by / alt. ending to fake dating mingyu by @saythename17scenarios - read it here bc i just had to add angst to it- p.s. i hope you don’t mind me doing this, i just really loved the series!!!

part two masterlist words: 2.8k genre: angst. i live for heartbreak. summary: you continue to fake-date mingyu, your best friend you’re actually completely in love with but he’s found someone else.. for real now.

ever since the kiss he’d surprised you with at the spring festival, you’d been itching at another kiss but so far, it’d just been light kisses on cheeks, noses, foreheads in doorways of classes or in the halls for people to see.

one day while at the coffeeshop he worked at, you sat in front of your books, twiddling the pen in your hand distractedly. you’d tried studying but your eyes kept flitting to your “boyfriend” making drinks - his arm muscles tensing as he grabbed the full milk jug from the fridge, the look of intense concentration plastered across his face while he skilfully created a heart with foam over a customer’s latte.

after he finished a particularly long line of drinks, he leant over the counter where you sat to rest, trying to read your notes upside down. his face inches from yours, you could see a clear sheen of sweat across the back of his neck and forehead and you reached out to wipe it for him with your sweater sleeve.

he looked up as you did that, grinning cheekily. “thank you, darling.” he said, emphasising the pet name he’d given you as your “boyfriend”. your cheeks flushed slightly and you could feel your heart rate picking up, wishing he meant it.

unable to help yourself, you pushed yourself up from your seat slightly to press your lips onto his, catching him by surprise.

just as fast as you’d initiated it, you ended the kiss, a little afraid of his reaction, mentally slapping yourself for being so outright with it.

you cleared your throat awkwardly, picking up your pen again and pretending to study. you glanced up a little to see his eyes wide, shocked and confused. you jerked your head subtly to the back of the cafe, where a few of your schoolmates sat. “they were looking.” you lied, not knowing if they actually were.

his eyes softened at your words. “right, of course.” he seemed to believe it and went back to work.

the moment his back turned to you, you let out a sigh and a small smile as you recalled the feeling of his soft lips on yours. 

as weeks passed, soft kisses on the lips became a more normal occurrence. you would exchange looks with him whenever people you knew were nearby while at the mall, at the coffeeshop, at school and both of you would lean in, sickly, loving smiles spread stupidly across your faces as your lips met for never more than three seconds, followed by silent laughs in each other’s shoulders when your audience had left.

there really wasn’t a need to prove your relationship anymore, but you loved the idea of kissing mingyu so much that you tried to keep it going and he just played along. deep down, you wished he was doing it because he wanted to kiss you as well.

the blissful pretence of being mingyu’s “girlfriend” was cut short one day when he ran up to you excitedly after class and didn’t plant a small kiss on your cheek like he had been doing since the whole thing began.

“i just met this amazing girl.” he said, slightly out of breath from excitement.

the six words sank into you and your smile dropped a smidge - still there, just unfeeling. “you.. what.. who?”

“i bumped into her outside the dorm, she’s new, she was lost and gorgeous and so funny and i walked her to her class and she’s just-” he let out a sigh at the end, grinning like a lovesick fool, unable to even finish his sentence.

you felt your heart rate pick up just as it had every time mingyu and you kissed but this time, it was for a different reason. a lump formed in your throat and your neck and ears burned in anticipation of what was going to happen next. 

as the two of you walked to his workplace, there was an annoying bounce in his step. your hand was wrapped around his, something you’d done purely out of habit and you realised his was loose, not holding onto yours. 

embarrassed, you quickly let go of his hand. he seemed to notice the loss of contact and looked down at you but you turned away, pretending to be interested in whatever was on your phone.

if he had anything to say about it, he didn’t, and the rest of the walk went on in painful silence. 

as you watched your best friend whom you were undoubtedly in love with walk into the back kitchen of the cafe, still smiling like an idiot, you realised you’d lost him. it hadn’t struck you properly that the last few months had only been pretend. you’d let yourself get so lost in fake-dating mingyu that your delusional mind had allowed yourself to believe that it had become real.

you met the girl he was so completely smitten for the next day when she came to visit him at work. lana. she’d sat next to you on the counter seat that was essentially yours before, considering how much time you spent there. the entire time he was working, mingyu kept stealing glances at her, completely overlooking you.

people were starting to whisper about him possibly cheating on you and as much as you wanted them to believe you were still with him, having those rumours circling your best friend wasn’t what you wanted either.

when you could finally pull him aside and have a proper conversation with him, you suggested a staged breakup to put him in the clear before he could start actually being with lana.

“okay, so how do we do it? stage a fight? at the cafe?” he asked.

“no, that would mean we wouldn’t even be able to stay friends. we could just have like a mutual break up. sit across from each other, look sad, suggest a breakup and agree to amicably part ways and remain best friends because we just no longer love each other.”

as you looked at mingyu, you realised he was barely paying attention, instead exchanging silly faces with lana who was seated next to your usual counter seat, her bag on where you usually sat.

“mingyu.” you called for his attention back.

“huh? yea. why don’t you plan it and i’ll come by later to work it out?” he asked, still not fully with you.

you sighed, nodding. “yea sure, come over at-” 

“yea, yea i will, see you!” he didn’t even let you finish your sentence before rushing back to behind the counter, closer to lana.

you squeezed a napkin tight in your hands as you willed yourself not to cry in front of everyone. standing up to grab your bag, you glanced around you to see a few pairs of eyes belonging to your schoolmates, looking at you, then at mingyu and his new girl, then back at you again.

you sighed. you had to end this before mingyu got the reputation of a cheater.

as you exited the cafe, you turned around to wave goodbye to mingyu but he didn’t look once in your direction, too focused on serving lana. giving up, you turned your back and went to your dorm.

the moment you entered your room, soullessly dumping your bag on the ground and leaping into bed face-flat, your roommate knew you’d done it.

“broke up with him already?” she asked, a kind undertone to her voice so as to not upset you.

you shook your head into your bedding, letting out a scream of frustration as you pounded your arms on either side of your head. 

“then what’s happening?” 

lifting your head up to look at her on her bed, you let out a sigh. “i’m supposed to stage the breakup and let him know how its going to go.”

“did you think about my other suggestion?” she prompted.

you glared at her from behind your matted hair falling in front of your face. “i’m not going to tell him how i really feel, (rm/n). not an option.” 

she lifted her hands up in surrender. “i’m just saying, he could have been harbouring secret feelings for you all this time and just never voiced them to not ruin your friendship.”

you sat up, grabbing a pillow to squeeze. “yea but me telling him how i really feel could also ruin our friendship. it works both ways and i’m not risking losing him completely.” thoughts of mingyu practically ignoring you to talk to lana flashed into your mind. “if i haven’t already.” you added.

your roommate sat still for a brief moment before standing up and heading to her desk in the corner of the room to grab a pad of paper and a pen. “write down what you would’ve said to him if you’d confessed.” she said simply, placing the pad and pen on your bed in front of you.

you glanced up at her confusedly. “trust me.” she said. “i’m a psych student, remember? one thing we learn as humans, not just psych students is that you should never keep anything bottled up or you just might explode.” she said, returning to her own bed. 

jerking her head to the pen and pad, she made a writing motion with her hands. “write down how you feel and burn it afterwards. might make you feel better.”

sighing and rolling your eyes at the ‘homework’ she had given you, you reluctantly picked up the pen and paper and began writing.

kim mingyu:

how long have we known each other? long enough to know exactly what the other person would order in their subway sandwich, long enough to know exactly how many freckles paint the other person’s face, long enough for me to know so much about you that i fell in love with my best friend.

it’s been an amazing couple of months playing house with you, getting to pretend someone as amazing as you could overlook the best friend label of lil ‘ol me and see me as someone you would want to love. it was an amazing feeling - being yours.

i never actually imagined the day would come when you would have to leave the nest we built with each other and join someone new. a stupid thought, i know. how dense can i get? 

lana seems great. she laughs at all your stupid jokes while i just roll my eyes and call you an idiot. she brings you cookies while you’re at work while i eat half your lunch before you even get a chance to stop me. she makes you happier than i ever could and while it pains me to see that i could never be how she is to you, i am eternally grateful to her for making you smile.

i want to be able to tell her to be patient with you while you’re in an experimenty mood with your cooking because the third time is always the charm. i want to tell her to excuse your sweaty palms and strangely sweaty ears and that you’ll love it if she would run her fingers through your hair while you lie on her lap and listen to the stomach noises that she probably doesn’t have. i want to tell her to make a stack of blue pancakes with strawberries and mango only every year on your birthday and to always remember to take the olives off your pizza. i hope she supports your dream of becoming a model/singer/dancer/rapper/chef/soccer player-extraordinaire. i hope she never misses any one of your auditions, games, performances.

but i’m sure she’ll learn all of these things soon enough, and you won’t need me to do them anymore. i’m glad i could be of use to you to chase off all those other girls until you finally found one you liked. and i’m sorry that was all i could do for you.

i’m not sure when exactly i knew i loved you, it could have been after you kissed me at the spring festival or it could’ve been way before that when you decided a tall, multi-talented, miraculously clumsy boy could be friends with an equally-clumsy, less talented, not-as-tall girl.

(rm/n) said writing this would make me feel better but it’s really not. i wish i could say all of this to you, see your reaction, then rewind time to when i didn’t say it just so i could save myself a lifetime of wondering ‘what if’.

but i just have to accept the fact that i no longer will be, never was and never will be, yours.

“you put down the pen and paper and threw yourself back against the headboard, sighing in defeat. 

“done with it?” your roommate asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. you weren’t sure what would qualify as being done. were you supposed to spell it right out - ‘i love you kim mingyu’?

“yes, that’s exactly what you should do.”

rolling your eyes once again at her orders, you reached for the pen and wrote in big bold letters at the bottom of the piece of paper. 

I LOVE YOU KIM MINGYU.

-(Y/N)

you brought the piece of paper up to show your roommate. “better?” you asked sarcastically.

she grinned and nodded. “much. now, do you wanna come with me to get the cheesiest pizza in the world to drown your sorrows?” 

you couldn’t help but perk up a little at her suggestion. she always knew how to make you feel better. “definitely. just let me take a shower, i reek of heartbreak.” you joked.

it was her turn to roll her eyes. “alright, shower. i’m just gunna drop off my thesis at the staff building and i’ll be back and we can go, okay?”

you hummed an agreement before retreating into the bathroom and letting yourself sink under the loud, roaring water, wishing for the ache in your heart to be washed away. your shower playlist blasted through the speaker you had perched on the sink right outside the shower and you allowed yourself to get lost, away from what seemed like the most unfair reality.

if you’d been paying attention and listening hard, you would have heard the vibration of your phone on the sink outside the shower. you would’ve seen mingyu’s name pop up on the screen, showing he was calling you. you would’ve seen three messages from him:

can i come over now?

hello?

i’m coming over nowwwww.

if you’d been listening hard, you’d have heard the lock to your room turn and the door open.

while you were showering, mingyu had used the key you’d given him for your dorm to unlock the door and come into your room. when he heard the shower on, he decided to make himself comfortable on the bed and wait for you to be done like he’d done so many times before.

as he carelessly threw himself on top of your many pillows, he heard the crinkle of paper and rolled over to check what it was.

his eyes immediately fell to the large, bold words at the bottom of the paper and he faltered slightly at the sight of his name within that sentence, as well as the signatory below it.

it felt wrong to be reading what had to be your deepest secret but he couldn’t fight temptation, especially when he knew it was supposed to be addressed to him.

by the time he read the last line, he was trying to convince himself you’d left that out there for him as a joke, knowing he was going to come over and read it.

when you stepped out of the bathroom in one of mingyu’s shirts that fell down to slightly above your knees, and a towel in your hair, you were surprised to see him sitting on your bed.

“oh yea, i forgot you were coming over.” you hadn’t noticed the piece of paper sitting in front of him just yet, moving to the other side of the room to pick up your hairdryer. “i’m going out for pizza with (rm/n), wanna come and we can discuss the ‘breakup’ later?” 

silence.

you turned around to see why you didn’t receive a reply and your eyes finally caught sight of the slightly crumpled piece of paper lying in front of mingyu. the glaring words that summed up your confession were obvious enough to read even from where you were standing and you froze, almost dropping your hairdryer.

“m-mingyu, i-” 

“this is a joke, right?” he forced out a laugh but his expression was dead serious. worried, even.

you were torn between laughing it off with him and pretending you’d set the whole thing up and coming clean so you wouldn’t have to struggle to come up with lies to cover this one up.

when you didn’t say anything, he pushed himself off your bed, smoothing down his clothes. 

“i have to go.” he said, his voice soft. 

you didn’t dare to lift your head to look him in the eye.

“e-enjoy your pizza.” he said before leaving you faced with a closed door.

-