#when developing Faolán i looked at wolverine and said: i can make him worse. and gayer.

[snackara]

The juxtaposition between the “tragic backstories” of the protagonists of my current wips is fascinating.

Because on one of end you have Asha. She had a relatively normal life until she was 14, with a loving father and community. And yes, she did have to step up and basically support the entire Hamlet after her father disappeared and developed an eldest sister mentality of sorts, she was still supported by her community and had Sabino to look after her.

And right after Sabino dies and she feels like she’s lost the last close relationship she had, Earendel comes to her, and is nothing but kind to her. And later she gains a partner in Flazino. She goes through rough things all throughout Upon A Star, but overall she turns out okay and most importantly feels positive about who she is as a person.

Faolán never got any of that.

He was whisked away from his homeland before he could even remember it, and constantly had to deal with people looking down on wildborns. He was raised by a military officer, Clara Montgomery, to become a weapon. He was basically a crude experiment to try and show the government wildborns could be used beyond slavery, as a force to wield against foreign nations. He was trained like a dog would be for the fighting ring. Constantly told to release the monster inside him, viewed as a weapon first, and a person second.

But Faolán wanted to prove them wrong, he really did. He wanted to be better, especially when he became a teenager. That’s why he took a few other wildborns he had grown close to and fled to a small village. And Faolán thought he was freed. He thought he had proved, even indirectly, that he wasn’t the monster everyone wanted him to be. That he had won. Life was tough, yes, but he was happy. Though deep down, there was still a lot of resentment and hatred towards Montgomery and how she had raised the boy.

Then the other villagers found out about his friends and killed them. Faolán didn’t know how they knew. But regardless he blames himself, even years later. Maybe if he had just been there with them, if maybe he had taken that shortcut home, he could have saved them. But he didn’t.

Faolán snapped.

And all of that rage, all that resentment, all that hate came pouring out.

He slaughtered the whole village. Not just the men who had killed his friends and lover, but everyone. Men, women, neighbors, acquaintances. No one was safe from him. He burned the whole place to the ground. It’s possible they could have overpowered him, if circumstances were different. But he had been trained for this. Forged in blood and flames to become a killing machine.

And when all was said and done, when Faolán finally saw the carnage he had brought, he knew Montgomery was right. That deep down, he really was a monster, just as everyone had said. What kind of man does what he had? And from that day on, Faolán promised to never grow close to anyone again, to protect them from being hurt by him, by the things he’s done. And every time he’s met with kindness or compassion, he feels nothing but guilt and shame. In his mind, he’s best left alone.

But like his namesake, he’s a pack animal. And eventually, something’s gotta give.