#when I first re-rescued it I actually had it in my room lol. but then the smell of the soil was bothering me

[tonyglowheart]

also shout-out to my zz plant. survived accidental neglect in a dark garage for uhh many months. not only survived but now it's even putting out new growth! good job dude!!

[mamawasatesttube]

ok i put a longer post abt tim's Emotional State in drafts for when my brain is less melted but re: tim and going to college im just gonna get a lil silly with it. hear me out.

i have this whole vague story in my mind for tim's college days moonlighting as red robin as he tries and figures out what he wants out of life. (it's a while after rr leaves off and all because he's like. Super Depressed for a hot minute and then has to drag himself through actually bothering to get his GED and applying to college, etc., but eventually lucius is like hey. you're great with gadgets, and you clearly love tinkering. i'd hire you for r&d in a heartbeat but you need at the least a bachelor's of engineering. i know you have a lot of the technical skills, but you need a degree. so tim goes ugh fine i'll get a goddamn engineering degree how hard can it possibly be.)

anyways. i think it's a universal experience that if you go to college and you hang with the STEM crowd, you will unfortunately get to know at least one Fucking Guy. it's like brentwood arc; tim does make friends, but there is just this One Fucking Guy he cannot stand and will never stand. this Fucking Guy is in the common room playing his guitar at midnight. he's drunk and yelling and laughing really loud when people have exams coming up. he's convinced everyone adores him. there's also a detective/supernatural plot going on. the subplot is just that tim hates This Fucking Guy.

at some point, there's a story beat where he as red robin has to rescue That Fucking Guy from a real dicey situation, and That Fucking Guy is really shaken and grateful to him, and he's like okay. maybe. maybe we are making progress. but then the next time he encounters This Fucking Guy as tim drake, the guy is just like. "ohhhh hey drake you missed it last night, it was AWESOME!!! i had to save red robin from a KILLER ROBOT. he's pretty cool though i guess. i bet you wish you could be more like him huh??" and tim is just. I Will Not Grind My Teeth About This. I Will Not. his life is a fucking joke. he dismantles the toaster oven in the common room kitchen to cope. it's definitely to cope and not just so that That Fucking Guy won't be able to heat up his pop tarts in the morning.

at another point, This Fucking Guy looks at street mode, lowkey, unremarkable Normal Car-looking redbird and goes, aw, dude, i thought your dad is loaded?? he only got you a generic-ass sedan?? that sucks lol, if you want we can take my car down to the game instead. and tim is just Say One More Fucking Word About My Baby I Dare You I Fucking Dare You One More Fucking Word.

(also i like to toy with the idea of this being a university in metropolis - he's out of gotham, but not too far. keeps him from getting antsy about what if he's needed because he can get right back over there. and in the meantime, he can hang out with kon and kara a lot, and occasionally enable and be enabled by lois lane and her snooping habits. there's another subplot in which tim and lois get up to shenanigans. at least once.)

it's sort of an introspective thing of him trying to come to terms with the way he no longer wants a fully normal life the way he always used to assume he would - he has the option to walk away from the cape now, like he always thought he would one day, but he just can't give it up anymore. he's fallen into the same black hole he watched dick and bruce dive headlong into. it's also about him finding joy in tinkering and working with his hands and getting to spend more time as tim drake first and foremost. and it's about him venting to kon about That Fucking Guy while they have a lil picnic on the green while kon loses his absolute shit laughing. all against the backdrop of a little mystery or something. <3

OH and also, most importantly. zoanne wilkins is there and laughing at him for assuming college would be easy. and kon gets her into wendy the werewolf stalker. My City Now.

[msnihilist]

you know about the fanfiction thing you said I remembered that I always wanted a long fic about ben which is about him disappearing and getting captured and and when while everyone think he's dead all the people who care about him come running to his rescue and kind of like help him to cure his mental or physical wounds but never really saw anyone writing it actually and I'm not that good to write something like this :( so I just wanted to know does anyone like something similar to this story lol

Well, anon, there are two sure-fire ways to get what you want: do it yourself, or pay someone else to do it. (I happen to take commissions, and I'm currently working on a Ben 10 one right now!)

I think you can do it yourself, though :) You already have an idea, and passion is the perfect starting point! Why not open a document and just write a scene that you think would be cool? You don't have to share it with anyone. Everyone starts somewhere.

I've actually got a WIP that's pretty similar to your idea that I'm about 8.5k words deep in. It's about Ben going missing and the lengths his friends go to in order to bring him home.

While I work on that, here's some already-posted Ben-whump fics to keep you busy, anon. And remember: leave comments if you want to foster a community. If you enjoy any of these fics, please let the author know!

These three are all oneshots.

Old Wounds, New Bruises by lenin_it_to_win_it

After seeing some of Ben's scars for the first time, Rook is determined to protect his partner from further injury. However, Ben's emotional wounds prove harder to manage.

Only Fools Would Love Me by Yalvaberry

"Ben, Ben, please, please, please no, I don't-" A sob.

Kevin looks back. His mind feels jumbled, split into two - Morgg is getting away! - but his feet don't want to cooperate, they seem to have a mind of their own as they carefully lead him back up the tunnel he came from.

"Ben, what do I-"

Kevin listens as he trudges back. The dirt crunches beneath his feet. Curiosity pulls at him, pushes him forward, morbid, because somehow, somewhere in his head, he thinks he already knows what he's going to see.

Set during the episode "...Nor Iron Bars a Cage" in Ultimate Alien. What if Kevin accidentally kills Ben inside the mines?

You Can Hold Him (Just Not Too Close) by MashpotatoeQueen

Ben puts the Omnitrix back on, and she stares at it in hatred- only for a moment though, just one moment- and wishes that her cousin had never found it. Because now Ben isn’t a fan of being held, not anymore, and the reason for it lies in that stupid watch.

(That stupid watch that saved the world, that makes Ben feel safe even as it puts him in danger.)

But she says nothing, nothing until late one night Ben calls her, and his voice is shaky and a little too high to be normal, breathing coming too fast and jokes falling a little flat, and she remembers the conversations at three AM in the old Rustbucket and this time she gets them for what they are.

She hums, says quietly, “Ben, you’re okay, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

And Ben laughs, except it sounds a bit like crying, and he’s murmuring about how sorry he is, about how he usually calls Grandpa Max, but that Grandpa Max is gone and he doesn’t know what to do-

“It’s fine.”

It’s not- her kid cousin being too terrified to be alone in the dark in his own room will never be okay- but she doesn’t say that. Just hums again, quietly, and says, “It’s fine, Ben,” and prays that it will be soon.

Here are some of my own fics that deal with Ben-centric hurt/comfort:

Nothing Left to Say

Gwendolyn makes the executive decision that Ben needs to be emotionally vulnerable for a day. The fastest and easiest way to achieve that is with a truth potion. It seems like a good idea on paper, but it soon becomes clear why the formula is a forbidden one.

Some things, it seems, are better left unsaid.

Meteor Shower

With the aftermath of Captian Nemesis’ escape from prison and Jennifer Nocturne’s alleged kidnapping, Kevin realized that he had some mending to do with his teammates. [Episode continuation of “Catch a Falling Star.”]

Put Your Strength Down

There's blood smeared on the doorknob when Sandra gets home. Her stomach clenches with worry, but it doesn't rattle her the way that it used to.

Every time she does this, Sandra reminds herself that it could always be worse.

Choose

The timer starts at fifty-nine, and it immediately begins counting down.

Kevin only has a minute to make a choice that he'll regret for the rest of his life.

Overload

Overloading the Omnitrix should be near-impossible, but as faulty as the Ultimatrix is, Ben really shouldn’t be surprised that it blows up in his face. Literally.

01001001

The Omnitrix had long-since been, well, attached to Ben’s wrist. Unfortunately, Ben didn’t anticipate just how far it would go to always be a part of him.

The World Grows Green Again

When Ben's life is saved by a masked stranger, it offers Ben and Rook a glimpse into a horrible future.

Diamonds Are Forever

A year after Petropia’s re-creation, Ben and Rook are assigned a deceivingly simple job on the planet — overseeing an "official yearly Plumber check" to ensure that societal development and reassimilation with the galaxy is going smoothly.

With Tetrax acting as their guide, it soon becomes clear that not all is as it seems. Digging through conspiracies and figuring out who can be trusted, they find that the glittering surface of the planet is covering a horrible plot against the Petrosapiens, which may hide roots closer to home than any of them realized.

NOTE: This is definitely the fic where I hurt Ben the most! Emotionally, psychologically, and especially physically. He leaves this fic permanently disfigured. Ben gets stabbed, passes out from blood loss, watches his allies get killed in front of him, is experimented on, fed through a tube, is betrayed again and again, and much, much more.

There's also a section of this fic where Ben is kidnapped and Rook, Gwen, and Kevin must work together to rescue him.

I tagged DAF with blood and gore, body horror, major injuries, and I'm not fucking joking!!

Anyway, anon, I hope that provides some reading material/writing inspiration :) Good luck! I believe in you!!!

[adorpheus]

Taking a Chest of Drawers I Rescued from the trash and making it rainbow!!

Hello, tumblr family. Below is a repost of an article originally posted on adorpheus.com, and is being shared here for archival purposes. Original post date: July 23, 2022.

Several years ago, I think it was 2014, I was driving around my hometown and I came across a chest of drawers someone had left on the curb for trash day, apparently throwing it out. At the time I was in need of a dresser pretty much exactly like that - my bedroom was small and I was hoping to get a chest of drawers that was taller than it was wide so it wouldn't take up too much room.

Bless this mess, lol

Originally, the dresser was a blonde wood color with blue knobs. It was also pretty beat up - the back of it was scuffed and it was missing a knob. Even still, I jumped at the chance to get the chest of drawers I was looking for FREE, have fun repainting it, and get to upcycle some trash at the same time.

When I first got it, all I did was spray paint it white. I had ideas for things I wanted to do with it, but that was the first step in getting it ready to paint. Then I didn't do anything with it for like 7 years or something, lol. Then this year, since I have been re-doing my room anyway, I realized it was time to finally get this project finished.

I love pastel rainbows, so I decided to go with that for my theme. For the paint, I went to home depot and after looking over all the paint chips, I picked out some colors I wanted and got paint samples for all of the different shades. I used matte for the drawers and semi-gloss for the white part (the spray paint job was not very good to begin with, so repainting the white base was a must). All the paint is samples of the type of paint you would use on a wall. 

After I finished painting, I felt the drawers needed an extra glaze of some kind to give them a bit of sparkle. The matte was a cool idea in theory but I wanted it to pop a bit more. I had a bottle of craft glitter clear glaze lying around so I decided to go with that. The bottle was half empty, so there wasn't much glitter left in it (plus a bunch of it chose to clump into an unusable blob at the bottom because the bottle was like 15 years old lol) but it did the job well enough. I love when I get to use up craft supplies I've had sitting around for a while.

Once the painting was complete, the last step was to figure out the knobs. Aside from the fact that I hated the original spherical knobs anyways because they were hella awkward to grab, the dresser was missing a knob sooo new knobs were an absolute must.

My original plan was to use rose shaped knobs, but the reviews I saw for those kind said the rose knobs were a bit sharp on the edges. I truly hate when things randomly have sharp edges, and last thing I need is getting pricked in the hand every time I need to grab a pair of socks. So those were ruled out.

After spending way way way too long looking at knobs, I decided on these crystal knobs (above) on amazon and decided to get them. I actually originally wanted a fancier, more expensive set, but those got sold out before I got a chance to buy them so I went with the cheaper set above. The photos didn't look quite as pretty as the ones I originally had my eyes on, but I had already spent so much time obsessing over fricking KNOBS I decided to just go with them. I'm actually really happy I went with these. The pictures don't begin to do them justice, they are way prettier in real life.

To protect the surface, I used my sewing machine to create this lavender lace altar cloth / runner type thing for the top. 

Although the drawers are a little sticky sometimes (which they were to begin with, lol) I'm pretty happy with this furniture flip!! The exact kind of dresser I was looking for fell into my lap and I was able to make it cute.

Some other happenings in the adorpheus multiverse...

I recently became a Twitch affiliate after years of trying!!! Emotes coming soon, feel free to follow me on Twitch to see when I go live! This month I'll be playing the new cat game STRAY along with some other fun titles!

Speaking of cats..!

I also adopted a new cat!! It's MEOW time!! Say hello to Artemis aka Arty for short! She is best friends with my sisters cat Luna!! I am sharing photos and videos of her and Luna on my instagram and they also have their own tiktok!!

I hope everyone is having an amazing non-binary hot gurl summer!! Have fun and stay hydrated!!!

[lividria]

i swear every time i get into a game that has an actual community it'll feel like i just woke up on mars because i usually dig really deep into a game's lore, history, trivia, unused content, etc. and THEN i'll find stuff from the community and i don't even mean for that to happen it just works that way and it always plays out the exact same way without fail besides for when there is no community

like, a week or two ago i remembered OFF exists, watched a whole playthrough of it, have been listening to it's OST an unhealthy amount (I'm doing it right now, Unreasonable Behavior is so good), i go onto tumblr, first OFF post i see once i add it's tag to my feed is someone's art for an AU where all the characters all like hang out at a cafe together or something and everything is chill, which is like the antithesis of everything i had just experienced related to the game and i couldn't help but laugh in confusion once i realized what i was looking at

i go in the discord server for iconoclasts after obsessing over the game for like a year and annoying the fuck out of my friends about it, literally the only fanmade character i have seen is a chemico contra member who's also a phlebotomist, i had to google what a phlebotomist is and like... i didn't look into their lore by ctrl-f-ing or whatever so i'm probably missing something, but how do you come to this conclusion (actually i think i know, they mentioned they actually became one at some point after making this character which is really funny actually)

i start watching videos about pikmin after finally beginning to slowly come off one of the most intense hyperfixations i've had in my entire life to the point i had played through all 5 games in the series and dedicated weeks and entire days to trying to figure out the lore before giving up because it's nintendo lol and spending a roughly equal amount of time trying to come up with intentionally terrible ideas for more games in the series only to accidentally get WAY too into it (see my alph wraith post lol), i am greeted with Fiddlebert, and a later a dub of an AU where the player character is actually a wraith and is hiding it from the rest of the rescue corps (this post is still probably one of the funniest jokes i've ever seen) and the entire thing scarily resembles the type of shit i'd write if i was given this premise to work with down to the mention of an innocent child being consumed that's first brought up with a doodle of them saying "Oh boy I sure do hope being alive!" while holding The Goo THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I TREAT HORRIBLE EVENTS IN MY STORIES WHEN I'M TALKING ABOUT THEM

i look at the tag for ultrakill on tumblr and feel like i just got sent to hell myself with the punishment of being stuck in a permanent state of confusion due to the sheer contrast to the source material all the fanart has, same goes for most of the posts about it in general actually, i go in expecting like blood & violence and instead i'm greeted with gabriel & v1 making out. drawn by 50 different users. (i don't even need to link anything here just check #ultrakill you'll see)

and this isn't even touching on all of the ships i've seen that are utterly incomprehensible to me because. like. why magolor and the snowman enemy? why kingsly and puddle??? i thought alph didn't like louie? wait also what do you mean at least two people's headcanon is that louie is trans? (ok i couldn't re-find some of the things in this paragraph and i'm too tired to conduct an in-depth search but you could probably find it if you looked)

i'm not hating on anything i brought up here it's just a bunch of funny examples i think about a lot now that i've seen them, you guys go do whatever you want even if i don't get it go have fun lol, i just love the feeling of pure confusion when i walk into the room and get punched in the face with a complete subversion of my expectations because it feels like i'm missing SO MUCH CONTEXT and i never get used to it i love it i love the internet

[violetnotez]

Haaaaiiii! I don't know if you've done this before, but can you do a headcanon with Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kaminari (separately) dating a slim thicc reader who's waaaaay to kind to everyone for her own good? Sorry if that was specific lol. It just suits my life.

HC: Slim Thicc + Overly Nice Reader | BNHA

Music Genre: Pop | BNHA

Characters: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki

Warnings: cursing, suggestive content

Music Collection | Tip Jar | Requests!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Shop Owner Note: The fuq how did you describe me in four words lmaoooo-I really liked this idea alot!!!!! Also I only did Bakugo, Izuku and Shoto caus emy brain got fried, so hope thats okay!

Midoriya

THIS GIF ISNT APART OF THE HC AT ALL I JUST FOUND IT AND NOW IM FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAYYYY😳😳

Midoriya most definitely drink his respect women juice

He was raised by his mother after all

BUT

doesnt mean the boy cant be a little perverted-

He just loves your body!!!!!

How can he NOT love everything about it, from the way your school tights slightly squeeze your thighs to the point where he feel like he cant breath

Or when you wear his shirts and its tighter around the chest and flowy around you waist

Mmmmmm lets not forget your hero suit- this man would probably kiss the shoes of the person who made your suit

Cause DAMN they really made it as tight as possible and he just loves it sm

Lets be real this dude has probably popped a boner by accident just thinking about your hero suit 😶

ANYWAYS 💀💀💀💀

He is very much respectful about you and keeps his raging hormones horniness to himself

He is ALWAYS making sure you feel comfortable in your relationship, whether its from holding hands to cuddling, he will always make sure you give your consent

Now, when it comes to your kindness, this is something Midoriya probably loves the most about you

But he does find it really concerning when he notices you say “yes” to everything somebody asks you to do for them

And running yourself down, not looking as energetic as yourself

He is very observant, so he notices little things that signal you are little overwhelmed 

Like your clothes arent as perfectly ironed as they used to be, you seem to be forgetting your own things while remembering to bring everybody else’s, your smile seems strained, and you just look stressed

He is so incredibly empathetic- it pains him to his s/o look so distraught 

It does anger him a bit that these people can so easily take advantage of you, and not even care that you arent feeling your best because of what they asked of you

But he swallows down the anger, offering to help you with whatever you need at your dorm room

He tries to make it as stress free as he possibly can, bringing your favorite snacks and playlist of music to calm your mind

But at some point hed give you a very gentle talk,,,,

He knows you havent been feeling too great, whether you deny it or not, and he wants you to know that its perfectly okay to not say “yes” to every person

He knows you mean well and you want to help everyone out of the generosity of your heart, and he loves that about you

But you as a person are important, and you come first over anyone

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Bakugo

Like Midoriya, just LOVES your body

Like cmon, how can he NOT

Dude is a ass+boob man change ma mind 

At first he deifnitely denies it-

Him??? Stare at your ass??? Pshh he was looking at the oven baka, if anything your ass was blocking his view-

You would know you caught him red handed cause he face would get redder than Momo’s hero suit and he would actually stutter—-

Which would make him extrmeely annoyed and he’d be cussing a storm+be in a grumpy mood for an hour or two

But once you two get more comfortable in your relationship-

NO HOLDING BACK

He will have use every opportunity to just be meannnn

And by mean

I mean turn slapping your ass into some sick game

Like if you dont yelp and cuss him out whats the point?

Once he slapped you so hard he legit left his big ass hand print on your butt cheek and you were about to slap his smug ass back....

But off a 50ft building  🙃

Also a big softie too

Like when you to cuddle he loves cuddling into your chest 🥺🥺

To him it’s just so comfyyyyyyyyyy

Honestly, Bakugo can’t understand at all how you can be so nice to people

It confuses him???? But he finds it really....nice???

Like half the stuff you do for people Bakugo wouldn’t ever dream of doing

He knows he’d either give that person an intimidating, dirty look or just laugh at them, cause yeah right he’d waste his time with their stupid problems

Ouchhhhhhhh

But you are totally different than him-you had a lot more patience and sympathy than he had, always coming to everyone’s rescue it seemed like

He finds it attractive and to him, it confuses the hell out of him how he does

But what bothers him is how much time you spend away from him

He won’t ever admit it, but he feels lonely when you’re not around

And what’s even worse-is by the time you do hang out with him, your too tired to even properly pay attention to him after running around and doing everything for everyone else

Bakugo the Attention Whore

One day this dude would have enough, as he’s been getting the bad end of the stick for a good couple of weeks——

He just barges into were ever your at, and doesn’t give to shits what so everrrrr

Bakugo has one mission in mind: getting his s/o back

Wouldn’t acknowledge anyone but you, grabbing your wrist and yanking you out of the room even if your protesting with him

“The hell are you doing Bakugo, let go-“

“No 😠”

“Pleaseeeeeee I was in the middle of working on something-“

“I said NO 😠😠😠”

Angry Pomeranian Activated

Once stop dragging you until he locks you in his room, forcing you to hear him out

He HATES being emotional or open, but at that, he starts spilling his guts through gritted teeth and choppy sentences,,

Saying that you waste too much time in thise “extras”, that they don’t deserve as much time as you give them, and that you have more “important” things than do all their work for them

*cough cough him being the more important thing

But hoenstly, you feel a little bad for him,,,,,

So you compromise with him and promise you’ll spend more time on him

He’s pretty happy with that,

but now he takes it one step further to make sure you deifnitely have enough time to hang out with him

If he’s around when someone asks you for help, he’ll cut them off and lie straight theough his teeth, saying you two have a “date” and squeezing you close to him with an iron grip

“Wait-Bakugo-we didnt have a date planned-“

“Tsch, now we do-“

Shoto Todoroki

I have said this timeeee and timeeee againnnn

But Shoto really is the definition of innocence

So really, it wouldn’t ever dawn on him on how killer his s/o’s body is

He’s just kinda like....yeah I know they have a butt and chest? Doesn’t everyone?😶

This poor Boi someone help him

It only really sets it after a few months of being together that he’s actually really, really in love with your body

Like how did he never notice how good you look in leggings?

Or how soft and comfortable your chest is?

And why does he want you to squeeze him with your thighs? 😳

Hormones are ragingggggg

And also veryyyyyyyy protective over you

Shoto is very observant and quiet in social situations, usually opting to check out his surroundings instead of trying to be sociable

So he’ll catch from time to time classmates commenting on you and your figure, and it never sits very well with him

At first when these incidences happened he was very conflicted, not understanding this intense jealousy and need to protect you

But after a while of contemplating his feelings, he understood it was because he was protective of you

And ohohoohohoh

This man is PROTECTIVE

He does little things you would never reallly notice until you actually do

Like when he takes you home after hanging out or a date, he lingers a little longer outside your door to make sure you’re inside safely

Or when you’re walking together he will make sure your walking inside the street and away from the cars

Also has a tendency to grab your waist or your hand when a group of men come your way

He just gets paranoid okay 🥺🥺🥺

And because he’s so protective, he doesn’t practically like that you’re being taken advantage of sometimes because of your kindness

Especially when it comes to other men

On a few occasions Shoto has spotted you in a sticky situation with a guy who was being a little too close for comfort

It would make you uncomfortable of course, you had a boyfriend you already loved a lot-

but you felt kind of bad just being a total bitch to this guy who desperately wanted a chance

So you’d just awkwardly laugh and smile with their stupid pick up lines, trying your best to be polite but also show you weren’t interested

But Shoto at this point has radar for when your in trouble, and just pops out of nowhere 💀

He’s not the type to flaunt his relationship by impulsively kissing you or anything like that, but he’ll show it in subtle ways

Like calling you “dear” or wrapping his arm around your waist

Honestly, the look of pure relief and comfort in your face shows more than Shoto could have ever done,,,

And that Shoto was deifnitely someone that was more than just a “guy fiend” and soemthing like that

Also Shoto would give them a look that could kill and that instantly scares the shit out anyone lmao

These dudes faces would deflate like balloons real quick, cause at this point everyone knows who Shoto Todoroki is

And how the hell can they compete with that

Instant “oh shit my bad” type energy

After those incidents, Shoto locks down way harder

He practically has you glued to his side, and he doesn’t let go

Like at all

Get used to it cause for the rest of the day Shoto is gonna be following you around like some body guard 💀

© Violetnote 2020

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

[someobscurereference]

I just read one of your old fics, Where We Began, and honestly I'm so in love with it? If you don't plan on writing more do you have any other abstract ideas about it? Like about how the Nohrians would try to calm them down or which of the trio decided to trust them first or just anything like that? I just really like it a lot and it's entirely fair if you don't have any other thoughts about it, it's an awesome concept but you wrote it years ago, I just thought I'd give it a shot

(referring to this fic) Firstly, I'm so glad you enjoy one of my older works! I write a lot of FE, but I enjoy my early stuff as much as my more recent stuff, so I'm glad you enjoy it too!

Secondly, I don't plan on adding more to the fic itself like as a sequel or anything, but I always welcome questions about any fic I write!

Re: The Nohrians calming the kids down

The Trio definitely get rounded up after Severa gets caught in the barn, lol. The only hope they had was running away, and Camilla caught Severa. Owain & Inigo aren't going to just leave her behind, and Niles is probably hot on their tail. So there goes that escape attempt. They'd probably get herded back to the castle pretty soon after, but that just means they're (very clumsily) trying to whisper escape plans to each other once get they stuck in a (windowless) room. So the kids are probably panicking less outwardly at that point but still Freaked. Even if this is post-war, it's a big, dark castle full with Bad Vibes. Why wouldn't they still think this is Plegia?

Re: Gaining trust

This is harder because you have to convince a bunch of 12 year olds whose last memories are of the apocalypse and who have been taught anything that resembles Plegia is probably on the side of Grima that hey, you're in another universe, you don't remember coming here, you're actually adults, we didn't know your real names before a second ago and the aesthetic is Ominously Dark Here but we promise it's cool, we're tight. Like, even for a kid, that's not going to fly

Ultimately, this would come down to how much the Trio have revealed about themselves to their lords, I think. Because you need at least one (better if at least 2) of the lords to say, "Hey, your mom's name is _____ and you told me about this secret memory from the time you were _____ and ____ happened, which I never could have found out unless you told me yourself."

It would not require all the lords/retainers to do this because if Inigo or Owain were both like "Hm, that is true, the only way you'd know that is if I trusted you enough to tell you myself," that would sway Severa not to freak out entirely, I think. (And vice versa; if Severa & Owain both were convinced Leo/Niles & Camilla knew them, that would convince Inigo even if Xander didn't have anything to offer just then, etc.)

However, they're not all the same levels of trusting. Inigo would be the easiest to sway, Owain would be medium distrustful even if Leo/Niles offered good evidence bc Imagination Running Wild (although that also means he's the easiest to convince they hopped dimensions/time traveled too), and Severa would be hardest to convince about anything in general, even if she didn't have any other way of explaining how Camilla or Beruka knew X about her otherwise. Severa is jaded at age 12.

Inigo probably compliments Camilla & Elise even more so than in canon but he gets Visibly Flustered every time they talk back to him because Tween Vibes. (I elaborate a bit more on this down below).

I think Severa would actually butt heads with Camilla because Camilla is so doting and motherly (and a flyer!), and Severa at this age has a lot of Angst and Mommy issues that she has yet to work through. Also, it's up in the air how soon aver Cordelia's death this would be for her. So this would be a tough dynamic for both of them to adjust to, and Severa would probably avoid Camilla until/unless something changed.

I can't remember if this was an ask in regards to this fic or something else, but I remember a long, long time ago having the thought that a de-aged Odin/Owain would actually be more drawn to Xander and Camilla rather than Leo, simply because of the fact Xander has such a cool sword and Owain canonically admires Camilla's armor. Leo is a dark mage, which is also cool, but not quite as Immediately Cool to a 12 year old who Loves Swords and doesn't yet use magic. I think this would actually make Leo jealous and exacerbate his inferiority complex, lol. (*Niles voice: Green isn't a good color on you, milord*) But all it would take is Owain seeing Brynhilder and hearing about it for him to Flip Out over that too, so I think the problem would solve itself then, lol

As a side note, here is a short blurb I wrote years ago in a scenario where Leo is there when Odin de-ages instead of Niles. Also, here is another ask about young Inigo's behavior with the royals. In summary for that, I think he'd actually be a bit shyer than he is in Awakening (when he's late teen age, I hc) because at 12-ish he's reached the "always smile, no matter what" stage of his facade but not the 100% "fake it 'til you make it" approach, so he's still really nervous around anyone and everyone. (Espcially royalty. Especially Extremely Tall, Very Handsome/Beautiful Royalty. For reference, Lucina may not intimidate him at this age because they've known each other since forever and That's Different, but I think people like Chrom (assuming this isn't Chrom! Inigo) and Emmeryn (were she alive) would get him flustered still. But maybe not Lissa because she may be more Owain's Mom to him than princess just because of the way she acts (though he may avoid her out of fear of getting a frog in his shoe or something) (But he'd still be flustered if she complimented him bc Nervous!!) Anyway!! That's too long! Inigo at this age, even after he's calmed down and knows what's up, would be shyer than his canon self, I think. He's still growing up

EDIT: also an additional old ask found here about this fic. However, I mention the kids being 13/14 in that ask rather than like 11/12 like I mentioned here. I don’t have any concrete ages written for them in the fic, so just assume they’re whatever age that seems best (and their ages probably vary anyway). However, if they’re on the younger side I think the Trio are still absolutely Okay with fighting (even though they wish they don’t have to, they fear the Faceless too much to be comfortable when one comes close bc Risen Vibes), BUT the age difference between 11 & 14 does mean its even harder for them to fight than it might be as slightly older teens (although they still do probably have pretty good teamwork, despite not getting along) and without rescue there’s a good chance they’d still lose

[nolabballgirl]

Skam: Ranking the Sana Seasons

So in light of Skam España’s upcoming Amira season, I thought I would watch all of the existing Sana seasons (Skam OG, Druck, Skam Italia, and Skam France) and give my rankings, coming from the perspective of a cis Muslim woman of color from the US. 

Overall, none of the seasons lived up to their potential, and none really explored Islamophobia or racism is any meaningful way. They definitely could have benefitted from more Muslims (if any at all) in the writer’s room. For example, most of the remakes (Druck did the best here) miss the mark on approaching the main conflict between Sana and her non-Muslim love interest. They even have most Sanas asking a parent or Googling why a Muslim man can marry whoever he wants but a Muslim woman can’t, so I’m not sure if they are trying for some backdoor feminist angle. First, that’s not accurate. Scripturally, a Muslim man cannot marry an atheist or an agnostic either, which is how the Sanas’ love interests are generally coded. Second, for me, the actual question is more of interpretation of faith. Seeing a five-times per day praying, hijabi Muslim woman grappling with following the scripture and then *wanting* to be with a non-muslim knowing that not only does it go against her faith, but that he wouldn’t participate in a huge part of her life (e.g. imagine the loneliness of fasting all of Ramadan by yourself year after year) is the drama and love and heartbreak I want to see examined.  

Tbh, I thought Amira N.’s guest appearance on Lucas Rubio’s YouTube channel gave us a more in depth dive than pretty much all these other seasons combined, but anyway, here we go:

1. Druck S4 (Amira M.) - I really love Amira M. (her spunk, attitude, and incorporation of faith into her life). But, they completely shortchanged Amira by giving her fewer episodes and essentially turning it into the Mia and Hanna show by the end. However, across the remakes, I thought Amira’s story arc and confidence in her Islam was the best depicted so far. 

Amira M. and Mohammed have the best Yousana chemistry. The romantic tension is so palpable. Plus, Mohammed standing guard and not having her Maghrib prayer interrupted was such a thoughtful touch! (in the other remakes, there are always people making out or barging in when Sana is trying to pray). 

All the remakes have shown the Sanas praying, but here we have scenes with Amira reciting her prayers out loud for the audience to hear (not the usual mumble-core), and Tua has such a nice reciting voice (qira’at) :)

Druck didn’t ruin the Girl Squad for me (even though they pretty much gave Kiki a personality transplant to get there!)

But, Druck played this season super safe and did not engage in any *real* conversations with the GS surrounding racism and Islamophobia, so major missed opportunity there! We only had snapshots of Amira dealing with racist third parties here and there, but no cohesive resolution.

Omar and Essam’s storylines really went nowhere. They could have done so much more with these characters and their struggles fitting in to German society. Although I do think the “house party/left behind bottle of alcohol” scene fit better with Essam and his friends vs. having it be Amira trying to fit in with another group of girls.

Like with Skam Italia, it feels like something is missing when one of the Girl Squad members is MIA (here, Mia/Noora), but Druck overcompensated and not in a good way.

2. Skam OG (Sana B.) - Sana is the OG bada$$. I’ll admit it took me a little while to get warmed up to her, but I love how this season showed her vulnerability. I also thought she and Yousef had great chemistry. Plus, Sana and Even friendships are pure gold :)

However, I didn’t like:

the characterization of the Girl Squad and how Sana was essentially pushed out in favor of the Pepsi Max girls (come on Girl Squad - do better!)

the Noora/Yousef flirtation/make out - unnecessary other than to give Noora more screen time. And not a fan of wrapping up storylines with text message exposition...

the Sana/Isak bench scene. Yes, there were some good moments but I didn’t like putting the onus back on Sana to be the one doing all the work and answering all the dumb questions. It’s so exhausting.

the cyberbullying story, followed by Sana messaging William behind Noora’s back - left a sour taste in my mouth RE: Sana’s motives without any great or meaningful resolution (sidenote: props to Skam España for moving this to Eva’s season - makes a lot more sense!) 

3. Skam Italia (Sana A.) - So despite my misgivings with SkamIt due to its casting issues, I was excited coming into this season because I saw a lot of hype on social media. But, it turned out to basically be a carbon copy of the Skam OG season, so it left me disappointed overall. 

Sana and Malik are cute, but...

I really didn't care for the Girl Squad this season, and the treatment felt even worse than the GS of Skam OG’s season 4. The dynamic was really all over the place - they pushed Sana out in favor of the BCU girls and essentially let them badmouth her and accuse her of sabotaging their vacation house. But as soon as Silvia is the one who gets insulted, then all of a sudden we’re a Girl Squad again? Where’s the kindness and understanding? Where are my Sisters Forever?! 

It’s always weird to me when one of the Girl Squad members is MIA (here, Eleonora/Noora was gone for most of the season), so it just feels like something is missing.

Gay conversion therapy storyline - yes, this is an important topic that affects religious households, but there was no in depth treatment to it, like at all. And do I hate that they gave the intolerance storyline to a Muslim family and imam when there’s already rampant Islamophobia in Italy? Yes! But, more so it takes away from Sana’s story. It was more of an excuse to incorporate Martino/Niccolo into S4 instead of developing Sana as a character and having Skam Italia deal with racism and Islamophobia head on. Also, it was a case of another character (Sana) speaking for Luai instead of having Luai speak for himself about his experience and trauma. 

Sana taking off her hijab in Filippo/Martino’s apt - lol...it’s just not realistic.

4. Skam France (Imane) - The worst. Do I need to say more? Okay, I will. 

The casual, unchecked racism jumps out. 

The casual, unchecked Islamophobia jumps out.

Um, Girl Squad - look at what you’re doing, look at your choices. Seriously, talk about ruining characters and ruining a Girl Squad.

Dragging out Sofiane and Manon’s relationship. Totally undercuts the Imane and Sofiane chemistry compared to the other remakes. Yousef/Mohammed would never.

Followed by the Manon and Charles show. *roll eyes*

Someone please rescue Imane. Girl, go hang with Jamila and Lamia. You’ll be so much happier. 

Someone give the Bakhellals their own show far away from here. 

[league-of-thots]

For You, mae amare

Pairing: Shouto x reader

Warnings: sensory deprivation (mild), little bit of food play, nipple clamps

Word Count: ~3.3k

A/N: This is a rather late bday fic for the wonderful @burnedbyshoto im sorry its late!! I really wanted to get shouto as well as i could so i may have re-written it a few times LOL. in all seriousness im so happy to call you my friend and i hope you enjoy!!

         It’s a normal day when you decide to ask your boyfriend to try a little something new in the bedroom

“Hey Shouto,” you start. He looks up from his book, the hand that had been stroking your leg gently stopping as he quirks an eyebrow at you. “I’ve been thinking about something, and I’d like you to hear me out before you decide on anything.” You’re a little nervous at what he’ll think, given its outside the normal range of your activities, but mostly you’re excited to see if he’ll agree to it.

         “That’s something you say before you suggest something that is probably dumb, or something I’m not going to like.” He says with a pout, and you have to crush the urge to reach out and brush the longer strands of his hair above his undercut back into place.

         “Shouto, how was I supposed to know that the ropes would snap, they said they were quirk proof!” you say exasperated, having been over this multiple times. “You’re too hot baby.” You smirk at him and he groans at your words.

         He sighs, “Fine. I’ll listen to it, but I swear if it’s anything else where I’m off the ground I’m putting my foot down.” You knew he meant it, Shouto was a man of few words, but one that stuck to them. You remembered how long it took to convince him that changing his hairstyle would not drastically alter his fighting. Midoriya had been close to tears by then end when he’d finally decided that he wanted to spite his dad more than he cared about miniscule changes in his fighting style.

         For a pretty quiet guy, he got his point across when he wanted to and was oddly stubborn about certain small things.

         So, you’d explained to him, a couple times having to reassure him there was no chances for him to fall, your idea. To your surprise, he actually seemed interested in it, you could tell from the way he bit the inside of his cheek and the slight quirk of his eyebrow.

         People that thought Shouto Todoroki didn’t show his thoughts with his body were wrong, you could read him like an open book. Right now, that book was telling you that he found the idea of you much smaller frame dominating him and taking away his senses and movement was extremely interesting to him.

         You knew that you had him on board with you even before he gave his verbal consent, and you were exhilarated at the possibilities that would be open to you. You sit up straight and pull him over by his shirt to give him a quick kiss in your good mood and immediately got back on your phone to start doing some more in depth research on what you could do to him, and what you should possibly stay away from.

         Something that was intriguing to you was how easily you’d be able to incorporate kinks that the two of you already had and fulfilled quite often. Apparently, it would also feel different for Shouto, who during the time would be deprived of a few senses, which was something else to consider. You wanted to use the familiarity Shouto would have with the normal motions to calm him through the sensory deprivation so he’d enjoy it, but if it would also feel new to him, you didn’t want to overwhelm him.

         Another thing stressed was that aftercare had to include slowly and carefully giving him back his senses and to make sure he was well comforted afterwards. That wouldn’t be a sweat for you, you liked to think that you gave damn fine aftercare and you feel like Shouto would agree with that.

         After research and planning, you decided to check if you still had ample supplies for your ideas, which was a good idea because you realized you were low on lube, candles and sauces. You wanted to stick to only touch based ones because you wanted to take away his sight, and didn’t want to startle or turn him off with harsh sounds. It was also the reason you decided to only do it with his eyes completely covered, you know that Shouto prefers being eased into new ideas in the bedroom, one of his own personal requests that you always make sure to follow.

         You don’t have time during the next few days to actually head out to the shop and restock on supplies and buy a few new things. It makes you impatient and Shouto can tell and it amuses him to no end.

         “I mean I could just fuck you normally? I know it’s not as, ah- thrilling?, as your idea. But I’m not a bad lay.” He nearly hides the laughter in his voice but you catch it, and give him an unimpressed look. But you take him up on the offer anyways, not being one to turn down sex with your amazing boyfriend.

         It also made you a lot less antsy to get your idea rolling, you decided to just go with the time would show itself when it was ready. Besides, having it come about naturally would be way more fun for the both of you. So, you placed some order online instead of rushing out and waited.

           Just over a week later, you came home to your house with a package sitting on your front porch. At first, you’d forgotten what it was, but were quickly reminded when you thought about it, and you jogged up to your door with some pep in your step. Shouto wouldn’t be home until later that evening, had already told you not to wait up for dinner, and so you’d have time to prepare.

         You knew it’d been a few tough weeks on him, so this was bound to be a way to relieve some of that pent-up frustration. He did the same for you after all. Until then though, you had a few hours to kill, so you ordered some Thai take out and sat down to watch some Netflix on your couch.

         While you were eating you got a few texts from Shouto saying he almost got out early, but there was an emergency that he had to go help with. Sending back a quick “Stay safe, I love you,” you turn off Netflix in favour of the news, trying to see what was going on that had taken him away from home.

         You turn it on to see that a villain had caused a truck to crash with a gas station, creating a large explosion and setting fire to the surrounding buildings. You saw some sheets of ice going up to cover the building and you knew that was why your boyfriend had been called in to help. He had a good quirk for helping to contain the damage and helping to rescue civilians from the buildings.

         Part of you wanted to watch it, but part of you hated seeing your boyfriend throw himself into dangerous situations. You couldn’t turn it off though, you had to watch as he saved person after person, teaming up with his sidekicks to make sure that the most unstable zones were taken care of first.

         Luckily, everything seemed to go fine, and the news eventually switched over to something else. You tried to relax, easing your mind with the fact that you saw the entire thing taken from an emergency zone to a relatively stable situation. You give him a quick text, telling him you saw him on the news, asking him if he was all right. He quickly shoots you back a quick thumbs up and a “be home as soon as I can”. Sighing in relief you go to grab a drink from the liquor cabinet, craving some alcohol to calm the rest of your nerves. Gin is the way to go tonight, you think, quickly draining a first glass and pouring yourself another.

         By the time Shouto comes into the house, you’re mildly tipsy and you run up to greet him as he hangs his jacket up in the front closet.

         “Shoooou-!” You throw yourself into him and he reacts with reflexes befitting a tired pro hero, quickly turning and catching you. “Missed you, babe!”

         “Yeah, I missed you too- wait, are you drunk?” his eyes narrow in concern.

         “No, hun, just a bit tipsy.” You bring him down and start kissing him intensely, the excitement, anxiety and love you felt today just tipping over into your actions. He responds easily to you, pulling back only when he needs to breathe.

         “What’s gotten into you tonight?”

         “Just missed you today, I was stressed about you, and excited ‘cause the toys came in. You’ve had such a hard week and I’m so excited, I think you’re going to love it Shou, I really do!” you’re babbling a bit but he follows your words, eyes never leaving your face as you talk.

         “I’m sure if you thought of it for me that I’ll really enjoy myself, love.” He presses his lips sweetly to yours, and lets you take control. You lick into his mouth, he tastes like strawberries – he must’ve had some before he got home – and you slowly guide him to the bedroom. Your lips never leave his until you’ve gotten him onto the bed.

         “You trust me, right?” You know he does, but you want him to verbalize it.

         “Of course.”

         “You’re going to tell me if you need to stop then, alright?”

         He gives you a look that clearly says ‘let’s get on with this, then’ and you roll your eyes.

         “Fine, fine, I’m getting the stuff now. Get your clothes off.” You hurry over to where you’d kept them all put together.

         “I thought you’d want to rip them off given you’re being the dom tonight, babe?” You can hear the teasing tone of his voice and you ignore him, slowly turning around.

         “Get them off. Now.” Your hand is on your hip as you glare at your boyfriend from across the room. You see him take a deep breath, eyes taking you in. His pupils are dilated, betraying his excitement he’d tried to hide with his teasing.

         You toss the things onto the bed as he scrambles out of his clothes, you slowly taking them off as you walk towards him. You’re wearing the pale blue that happens to be his favourite. Sitting down in front of him on the bed, you grab the rope from beside your body and you crawl over him. You kiss him deeply, hands grabbing his as the two of you get lost within each other. You pull away panting when you’ve managed to maneuver his hands above his head, grinning down at your dazed boyfriend.

         You quickly tie his wrists together, tying his wrists to bedpost behind him as you go back down to kiss his neck, slowly, sensually. He groans, trying to grind his hips up from underneath you. You move to sit down above his hips so he can’t do anything, the tent in his boxers obvious.

         “You don’t get anything yet Sho, don’t be impatient.” He whines a bit at that, but stops wiggling around. You go back down, pressing open mouthed kisses to his chest, leaving marks every few kisses and he grunts in approval.

         After marking him up a bit, you ease off of him, looking to get the thick and soft eye mask you’d gotten and turn to him.

         “Ready?”

         “Yeah, let’s do it Y/N.” You love how dishevelled he looks just from the small make out sessions the two of you had, his cheeks red and breathing thinner than usual. You carefully ease the blindfold over his eyes and kiss him gently. You admire your handiwork and stroke his hair. You can feel him shudder beneath you; he loves it when you stroke his hair.

         “Feels ok, Sho?” He nods once in assent. “Alright then let’s see how this feels then.” You begin working you way down his body, hands smoothly going down caressing the taught muscles of his sides. You leave marks all down his body and he groans in pleasure at the sting of the bites. You love to mark him almost as much as he likes to mark you, and you love the way the red and purple bites look on his pale skin.

         When you reach his boxers, you’re unsurprised to find them stained with precum, his length still straining against the fabric of his clothes. You slowly wiggle them down and his cock springs up to slap his stomach. He lets out a sigh of relief that turns into a stifled moan as you like a stripe from the bottom of his cock to the tip, teasing the tip with swirls from your tongue.

         You take the head into your mouth and he bucks his hips upwards, trying to get you to stop teasing him. You pull off completely and he groans in frustration.

         “Be good and just sit there Sho, or else I won’t let you cum at all, how’s about that?”

         “No, don’t do that, I’ll stay still. Just please get on with it, it feels so good…”

         “Don’t make me stop you again.” You warn, and he shakes his head almost frantically.

         Taking him once again into your mouth, still slowly, you notice he’s straining so hard against his impulses to fuck upwards into your mouth. Seeing him do this for you fills you with power and lust, and you suddenly take him deep in your throat, your nose tickling his neatly trimmed pubes.

         “Fuck!” he shouts out in surprise. “God you feel so fucking good babe, you’re so good to me!” Bolstered by his praise, you continue to bob your head, quicker than before. You feel your own slick dampening your panties and you hear the noises he’s making, loving how wrecked he sounds. You look up to see his head thrown back and your hand goes up to play with his balls.

         He must like that, because he cums without warning, leg muscles tensing up as thick ropes of cum shoot down your throat. You swallow it all with a little difficulty and pull off of him. He’s breathing heavily, his dick now soft again, but you know with what you have planned, that won’t be the case for very long.

         “That’s just the start Sho. I have a bit more for you.” You say, grabbing the nipple clamps from beside you. You circle the cool metal around his nipples until the pebble up and you clamp the first one down, which he takes stoically. The second one however, elicits a soft whimper from him. “Ah, but you’ve done this a few times before, babe. Does it feel different now?”

         “Better,” he chokes out. “It feels better.”

         “Well that’s what I was hoping for, so that’s good for me to hear.” Having said that, you grab the chocolate sauce you’d gotten and click open the cap. “You know what I have, don’t you Shotou?”

         “Something in a bottle, I don’t think its lube?”

         “It’s not.” You then start to pour some of the sauce down his stomach, putting some up by his collar bones and neck. “Keep your mouth closed.” He nods once more as you pour some of the sauce onto his lips. Leaning down, you start kissing him, tasting the sweet chocolate, and he takes that as an open invitation to open his own mouth and get a tast for himself.

         You stay there, making out with him, the sweetness making it more fun, until you pull back and start licking away the sauce on his neck.

         “Ah, your tongue shouldn’t be allowed to move like that! How am I supposed to stand a chance?” His voice is pitched low with arousal. You smirk against his skin, but don’t answer, continuing to enjoy the sweet moans – and sauce – as long as you could.

         However, after moving down to his stomach, his noises, cut off. You look up and see the reason why, he’s bitten his lip to keep from crying out anymore. That won’t do.

         “Shouto, I want to hear you, pretty boy. Stop biting your lip please, or else I won’t ride you like I planned and you can use your hand.”

         “No, no. Alright fine. You’re picky today.”

         “I’m going to do you a favour and ignore that one.” You slip off your panties, seeing as he’s hard again as you straddle him. You loved riding him, it was so fun to set the pace and make a mess of him.

         You line yourself up, and ease yourself down slowly. You wince a little from the stretch, so caught up that you’d forgotten to prep yourself, but with a few rolls of your hips you got him completely inside you. The vein on the underside of his cock felt as good as always, and you teasingly clenched your muscles and Shouto let out another set of curses that would have his PR team in tears had he said that in public.

         Laughing slightly, you begin to bring your hips up slowly, and slam them down all the way. As you set a pace, Shouto catches on and starts bucking up into you as you slam down, hitting deep into your pussy, and you let out a cry of surprise and pleasure.

         “Shit, Shouto! Just like that!” you can feel yourself clenching in pleasure around him, the entire situation and the stimulation of your clit slapping against his hips bringing you closer and closer to your own orgasm.

         Shouto must sense this, because as you falter, he thrusts up into you harder, grunting at the exertion, having to do it without much help with his arms. He manages to hit that spot inside you that has you seeing stars and crying out his name as you clamp down on his cock and cum. With a final thrust deep inside you, Shouto comes as well, releasing once again and then sinking into the mattress.

         You ease yourself off, whispering sweet nothings to your boyfriend and lying down beside him, running your fingers through his soft and silky hair. You feel blissed out from you orgasm so you forget that he’s tied up and can’t take off the blindfold.

         “Hey, Y/N? I do love having you snuggled against me, but I think it’s way better when I can actually hold you.”

         “Oh my god, I’m sorry Sho!” you quickly scramble up, untying his wrists from the bedposts and each other. You hold his much larger hands in your own, kissing at the slightly irritated skin that came from the bindings. You do the same thing, showing lots of love and care to his chest as well after removing the clamps. Throughout this, you hear sighs of satisfaction and pleasure from your boyfriend.

         You slowly take off the blindfold as look into his eyes. He grabs your face gently, guiding you in for a kiss that’s all sweet and slow. You sigh as he pulls away, and you set your head down onto his chest, looking up at his face. He stares back at you, lovingly.

         “So? Yes, no, maybe?”

         He chuckles. “Yes, way better than the swing.”

         “When are you going to drop the damn swing already?”

         “Hey, I didn’t drop it, it dropped me.” You groan and stick your face into his chest. “In all seriousness, it was really different. But in a good way.”

         “I’m glad. You feeling a bit more relaxed?”

         “Yes, but I’m sure I’ll feel even more relaxed if we can clean up and cuddle a bit.” You laugh at the rather pointed suggestion.

         “Alright, princess. Let’s go get us all cleaned up then.”

[randomactsofpigeon]

Now I am all riled up about my experience with a batshit crazy animal rescue, so let me tell you about the “great” care they took of my cat, Luca, before I adopted him:

1. My husband found him in a pet shop.  This by itself isn’t weird; many shelters and rescues will put their cats in comfortable displays in pet shops to increase visibility to potential adopters.  What was disturbing, however, is all Luca did was was pace endlessly, and I mean endlessly, back and forth along the length of his space.

2. Batshit crazy shelter lady told me he was going blind.  This seemed substantiated by the obviously unhealthy look of one of his eyes.  My spouse and I had a lot of discussions about how we could care for a blind cat, and decided to move forward.

3. BCSL told me in our next phone conversation that her reason for believing Luca was going blind is that he wouldn’t leave his crate during active time.  (Two things from this: The rescues cats lived exclusively in crates, and Luca had apparently not left his crate for at least four months, based on his history.  It apparently did not occur to her that this might have other causes or wasn’t healthy for Luca psychologically.  But more on that later.)

4. The first WEEK we had him, the eye began to discharge green mucus, streaked with some red fluid.  Obviously we were extremely concerned. I took him to a new vet because they could see us that day (which led to me finding this incredible vet practice, but that’s another post).

5. I took Luca and all his paperwork from the rescue to the vet.  The vet told me that not only were both his eyes badly infected, he also had a viral infection and a tapeworm.  It was plainly obvious to us both that he had not been receiving the level of vet care advertised by the rescue, but had been neglected for some time (particularly in light of the “he’s going blind” rather than “he has an infection that needs treatment” which any vet could have spotted easily).

6. The physical ailments were treated and cleared up quickly once, you know, actual medical care was involved.  The psychological issues, on the other hand...

7. Luca is the most skittish cat I’ve ever known.  He was like this from the first time we met him in the shop.  We followed every possible best practice for introducing him to our home and other pets (and he actually loves other cats).  But EVERYTHING makes him nervous.  Close a door?  He will be pacing frantically outside it because he can’t be closed off (see above re: too much time in a crate).  Open a window, and he’ll realize the house itself is a very large box and likewise pace frantically in front of it.  Loud noise outside? He’ll be an anxious wreck for the next half hour.

8. If he’s in a room, you have to loudly announce your presence as you enter, before you get close to him, or he will absolutely freak out.  He was sleeping next to me yesterday, I moved my leg, and he jumped three feet in the air.  I spent the next five minutes calming him down.

9. I want to note at this point that his only history is being with a foster family for his first four months of life, and then at the rescue until he was nine months.  There was no indication given to us that he had been abused at the foster, or had any trauma symptoms, which is why I’m 1000% sure he picked up these habits at the rescue.  I also want to note that we had two other well-adjusted cats at the time of his adoption, and again followed best practice, so I don’t believe our care exacerbated his issues.

10. He has gone through times when he refuses to come downstairs for unknown reasons.  He’s the reason we have food, water, and litter upstairs now.

11. He craps outside his clean box from time to time.

12. He’s afraid of heights, and his play is awkward, like he wants the toy but he’s also a little afraid of it as well.  He is our only cat that has no interest in bird or squirrel watching.

But this shelter has the fucking AUDACITY to put in their contracts that THEY can randomly check up ON ME and TAKE MY FUCKING CAT if they believe I’m not “living up to their standards”. It’s not about protecting animals.  It’s about animal hoarding and enjoying control over other people.

I am happy to say that we’ve seen some real improvements in the past year.  We’ve now had him for three years.  In 2020, a pair of kittens fell into our lap, four weeks old at the time.  We started out fostering them and ultimately decided to keep them. 

Luca loved these kittens from when they first entered the house.  When they were quarantined, he’d sit outside their door, not pacing, but monitoring, interacting with them through the door, and making sure to alert us any time we were near that there were kittens in there.  When they were slowly introduced, Luca was the one who made sure they were bathed and cuddled and cared for (he did not believe humans capable of doing this properly lol).  

Now that the kittens are almost a year old themselves, they are his best buddies.  They adore him.  And one of the kittens in particular is very social and outgoing, and has done a lot to bring Luca out of his shell and make him finally feel comfortable.  It’s the best thing that could have happened for him. 

But yeah.  Fuck these kinds of rescues and fuck the people who run them.  They should be in jail.

[knivesandwives]

Can you give an excerpt (is that the word?) or a pic from the book about Hannibal and Clarice's little date thing? I'm intrigued lol

Oh lol I'm honestly still reading it! Thank you for facilitating my venting though, and I will gladly share my incomplete knowledge. I haven't even finished this scene, which continues into another chapter. I had to take a break and cool my head because it makes me want to gag like I was a 5 year old with an aversion to kissing scenes (which is not usual for me. I just. I don't know about this). I could take the time to finish reading it in the time I'm writing this buuuut I'm too heated to do so atm, even though it would spare me the embarrassment of having very incomplete context. I don't even know whether Thomas Harris intends for the reader to want them together, but his treatment of Hannibal Lecter has generally verged on salivating over him, imo, so. I'm gonna take it as implied that I should like this a bit more than I do. I could be very wrong. Under the cut because it is a Rant

-----

I’ve got the fun wacky stuff first because this book is Wild. Bonkers. Then I have semi serious stuff and Thoughts thoughts in the second half 

-------------------

WACKY FUN STUFF PART

it is So over the top corny. Highlights so far:

-Hannibal is playing the harpsichord when Clarice walks out. In other scenes he’s played his theremin. He is insufferable

- the piece he's playing is called ‘If True Love Reigned’ and was composed by Henry VIII, which is a red flag if ever I heard one

-he dresses up in white tie for her and spends FOREVER decorating the house *just so* and inspecting the dinner table from various angles to check whether the Aesthetic is right, because the house he's rented out is only so-so and he's gotta make up for it:

I mean. He decides to add a shit ton of flowers to make it intimate and create a hanging gardens effect, realizes that this looks bad, and decides that the solution is More flowers. Maybe he’s right, but I think with the rest of the decorations this is probably looking like a mess right now.

-Uhhh if I remember correctly from the Freudian Daddy Issues chapter (hhhhh I want to have a word with Thomas Harris), the reason he makes the peonies in the flower arrangement “white as SNO BALLS” is because she has some sort of (dad-related) childhood memories about these fucking Hostess twinkie-level snacks. There are Levels to his floral arrangements

-Similarly, the cocktails he prepares for them have orange slices on the side because it’ll remind her of her father slicing oranges and Hannibal wants to be daddy

-The landlord he’s renting the house from (where he’s keeping Clarice and holding Date Night) has a fixation on Leda and the Swan, to the point that he has four statues of it and eight paintings of it in that one house alone. Hannibal likes the horniest one with the best “anatomical articulation.” Make of that what you will. There was indeed a reason for Bryan Fuller including such a pussy out painting in the set for Hannibal’s dining room. Hannibal covers the other Leda statues and paintings that don’t live up to his standards

- He brings her clothes to wear?? Special Fancy clothes for Date Night. Ugh. And I thought it was pushy and anal in SOTL when he gave her tips on how to improve her fashion

- Hannibal wears an ascot over a white shirt. No jacket. I don't know if I trust the taste level of this man. I like Freddy from scooby doo but his look seems like a stretch in this context

-he uses candelabra like he's the phantom of the opera and has this incredibly fucking extra mirror in his rented house:

-he tells her his goals for the evening in one of the trademark Long Confusing Hannibal Monologues we’re so used to seeing in the show, then asks Clarice if she understands, and her response is: no I don’t so I hope your food is good at least

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actual Serious Thoughts about it  (content warning: some vaguely psychosexual things involving characters’ family, drugging and non-sexual consent issues)

I think my reaction is definitely influenced by the context that's been presented so far for their relationship in this book, which includes (briefly):

--Hannibal has a fixation on Clarice as a potential replacement for/idealized version of Mischa, his dead sister. The moment he lays eyes upon her again in this book he starts having uncontrollable flashbacks that directly associate Clarice with Mischa and overlays their meanings and iconography. So... that's something. It shows up constantly whenever we get a glimpse into his POV. I have thoughts about what Hannibal finds appealing about Clarice RE as an idealized version/teacup reversal of Mischa; the book tells us he admires her courage and her spirit as a warrior despite having been victimized, and so Clarice is in some ways a version of Mischa that was capable of surviving despite the odds. That was (crudely) my working theory, anyway. Might have to reevaluate that now because I'm less certain now about Hannibal's intentions and how much his appreciation for Clarice is really *respectful* of her potential, versus how much he sees her as some sort of vehicle to replace Mischa and be some sort of walking talking idealized doll that he crafts into his dead sister. I wanted it to not be *as* weird and psychosexual as I thought it would end up being, but this book definitely leans into some weird sexualized Freudian shit, and I'm concerned that Mischa and Clarice are part of that despite my best efforts to rationalize it in a way that I would have preferred. Really, who fantasies about their lover being a reminder of their sister?

--Freudian hell part 2: Hannibal has rescued Clarice from the Verger farm (after she rescued him, which was quite dramatic) and has her drugged at his house and undergoing the type of hypnosis we see suggested with Will and Miriam Lass in NBC!Hannibal. Hannibal suggests things, she follows those suggestions with apparently little agency of her own. He probes into her history and traumas and causes her to see things. Among his goals here is to have her make peace with her dead father in some way (in a scene which strongly resembles Abigail's therapy with GJH's corpse as seen in the s3 flashbacks), and to give her some form of control over her memory of him. This is accompanied by some very squicky speculation from Hannibal about Clarice having taboo sexual associations with her father, which she projects (among other things) onto other father figures in her life like Jack Crawford or her fallen FBI partner. I didn't know before I got into this book whether it was going to legitimize the Electra complex angle on Clarice this much, and maybe I'm wrong to accept Hannibal's viewpoint as sacred, but. So far, that seems to be the take.

----

So that's the context for the leadup to this romantic dinner scene. Hannibal has decorated his house specially for this date night type thing and given her a slinky, fancy dress to wear in his fancy house. Clarice has been heavily under the influence of drugs so far, and this night is no exception. This chapter so far has been a treasure trove of the more romantic dialogue repurposed for NBC!Hannibal, but I kind of can't stand it here in this book as anything remotely romantic. It's almost entirely him talking *at* her and it seems like this is more about him and his idealized fantasy of her than it is actually about her. The text does refer to him as "the monster" more frequently in this chapter, and it calls him out directly for his vanity and self congratulation, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm even supposed to like it, but. Anyway. You asked for excerpts! This particular scene is probably the densest part of a very dense chapter (the highlights are a mess rn):

There's a lot of interesting stuff in here, some of which really raises my hackles in ways I wasn't anticipating. Clarice has just emerged in the outfit he chose for her to join him. Clarice's first question to him is to ask about how much he's invaded her privacy without her knowledge, and he has a very bullshit answer where he pretends that this situation he's manufactured, in which he drugs her and creates a fantasy world for them, is okay because it exists outside of reality. It doesn't. It's an interesting idea but it's bullshit. This is not his memory palace, this is reality and it does exist as a part of time that Clarice has had to experience (or not, as the case may be for her level of consciousness throughout this). And he turns around from this question about him being intrusive to reiterate his attraction to her. Squick at that. Her plain (possibly curt?) answer to his compliment, even though it's a thank you, causes him annoyance. This is where I really, Really start to have, like, flashbacks to Jessica Jones and the playing house plotline. Real strong flashbacks to that. Clarice's (apparently unintentional) failure to meet his standards and reciprocate in the exact way he wants her to makes him Annoyed. Clarice identifies this and holds her ground, interestingly enough, and Hannibal has a moment of awe at her stubborn individuality, but immediately falls back on self congratulatory wanking at his choice of woman. Then, there's more talking at her, to which she eventually says that she basically doesn't know what the fuck he means but she hopes he plans to make dinner worth her while. I appreciate Clarice holding her ground so well here, especially given the circumstances, and I don't know quite where this is headed, but I guess the gist of it is that in this context I just really want to slap Hannibal about and see him burn

[peterstanslizzie]

Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 2 Episode 7)

Episode Title: Benson and the Beast

Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers.

1. The past few episodes have been starting out with flashbacks huh? Well, this episode is no exception; We travel back one year into the past and we see Benson climbing down into a deep den with baby Dave in his backpack. He’s there because he wants to get his cassette player back from two giant bat mutes. However, they catch him red-handed and tell Benson they need the player to build an alien communicator to reach out to the aliens. 

2. Baby Dave then molts rapidly across one entire cycle and stops at his toddler stage. This makes the bats think that he’s an alien. Why are they so sure that he is though? Lol. So afterwards, Benson and Dave were able to escape with his cassette player. 

3. We are now in present times and it picks up where things left off last episode; Full Mega Jaguar Kipo is chasing after Scarlemagne who has her mother, Song aka the Mega Monkey under his mind control. One of the Nobles tries to shoot Kipo with an arrow but he gets taken down by the three scientists with a paralyzing dart. 

4. Kipo goes on to attack them and Dr. Emilia retaliates by shooting the darts at her. Luckily, she’s stopped by Wolf and Benson then tries to calm Kipo down and remind her who she is by showing her, her family photo. However, Zane points his arrow at Kipo, which startles her and accidentally bumps Benson to the ground in the process. He tries again one more time and Kipo manages to turn back into a human. Wow, that sure was suspenseful!

5. The scientists immediately recognize she’s Lio and Song’s child (I think) and they try to act like they know nothing about her parents. I think they are gonna try to kidnap Kipo themselves to experiment on her. They claim to be part of the human resistance that’s against Scarlemagne and they plan to wait till the Noble whom they just took out snaps out of his mind control state in order to extract information about Scarlemagne’s plans. 

6. It looks like Benson has dislocated his shoulder; Poor thing! Dr. Emilia tries to trick them into following them back to their headquarters but Wolf is highly suspicious of them. We also know that the scientists were actually looking for Kipo for 13 years! Okay, so they definitely know she’s Lio and Oak’s daughter. Also, they secretly plan to use Kipo as their weapon and dispose of her afterwards. Yikes! That’s evil! Anyways, despite still having reservations about them, Kipo and the others agree to follow them because they really need for Benson to get medical help. 

7. Another flashback!; This time, we go back to the time when Song decided to stay back to answer the knock on her and Lio’s apartment door. As I’ve predicted, the same scientists were the ones behind the door. Song opens it and Dr. Emilia immediately calls her out for lying to them about being able to isolate the mutagen. 

8. If I’m not wrong. there’s two sides here. The first side, which Song and Lio belong to are the ones who want humans and mutes to live in harmony with one another and that’s by genetically modifying humans to become half-mutes in order to survive on the surface world. And as for the other side, which the scientists belong to, they just want to take mutes down and turn them back into animals so that humans can go back to being the dominant race again. 

9. Dr. Emilia tells Song that she’s going to find Kipo and take her away; Song tries to resist them but accidentally falls off the balcony. Luckily, she transforms into the Mega Monkey just in time. That was a cool scene I must say. 

10. Back at the scientists’ HQ, Dr. Emilia is able to fix Benson’s dislocated shoulder. She then gives them a tour of their offices and we see more scientists busy working on plans to rescue the mind-controlled humans in Aurum and they have a tunnel that can take them there. We also get introduced to some of the things they’ve created to use against the mutes like a pheromone proof room and their Sonic Emitter, which emits sound waves that can only bother mutes. 

11. However, the sonic waves unknowingly wakes up the two mute bats. Are these bats supposed to be good or bad? We discover later on that the mind-controlled human they managed to capture is actually Troy’s dad, Roberto! Finally! After 6 episodes, we get a mention of Troy again. I miss him. And so does Benson hehe. Lol, look at Dr. Emilia’s face in this picture. 

12. Dr. Emilia now wants to train Kipo to control her powers and Benson wants to come along since she needs her anchor. Before leaving, he asks Wolf if she could make him look good in front of Troy’s dad. LOL! He still gotta impress his boo’s dad even during a time of crisis. Well, he still has a date set with Troy after all! I hope we get to see this date by the end of the season!

13. During the training, Kipo is finding it difficult to go back into her full jaguar form again. By the way, Dr. Emilia is INTENSE! Benson tries to talk to Kipo to figure out where her head’s at and Kipo tells him she’s afraid of hurting him or anyone again. Well, that’s a valid fear to have.

14. Meanwhile, Wolf is re-telling the story about how Benson and Troy had set up their date to Dave. Suddenly, Roberto wakes up and Wolf explains to him what happened, including letting him know that Troy is safe with the Timbercats, thanks to Benson. Roberts asks them who these people are to which they explain everything to the best of their ability lol.

15. I appreciate Dave for trying to talk Benson up to Roberto lol. I mean, that’s gonna be his future father-in-law. Zane and Greta discover that Roberto is awake and asks him to explain Scarlemagne’s plan during his future coronation; He reveals that Scarlemagne plans to gather all the humans in the arena to mind-control them. Benson, Kipo and Dr. Emilia joins them and Roberto tells Benson he’s impressed with the heroic things he didn’t do, thanks to Dave. 

16. Suddenly, the mute bats barge into the building and fortunately, they’re not evil/mind-controlled but they are really obsessed in trying to find that “alien communicator” they so desperately want. They (Geli and Jibralta) start rummaging through the place and attacking whomever in standing in their way. Kipo tries to stop them with her two jaguar arms but it’s not enough. 

17. Because Benson recognizes these two, he tries to lure them to him by telling them that the sonic emitter is the communicator. However, they think he is an alien whisperer and they grab hold of him and take him away. Aww, Dave is upset that Benson’s gone. Finally, Kipo is able to trigger her transformation into her full Jaguar form. 

18. The crazy bats take him to their den and ask Benson to use the “communicator” to make contact with the aliens. Kipo, the full jaguar then jumps into the burrow and starts to chase the bats. Wow and she’s giving them a beating for sure lol. As Kipo is about to attack them some more, Benson manages to calm her down by showing the family photo to her again. Phew! I’m glad that she’s able to transform back again because you know how some shows will try to make it more dramatic by not allowing its characters to do something for some random reason. 

19. But they still have to deal with Geli and Jibralta and it turns out, Kipo is able to transform back into a jaguar again without any problems, in order to scare them. Wow, I’m impressed; She’s getting good at this. Afterwards, Benson gets on top of Kipo and they head off. 

20. They reunite with the others and Kipo impressively turns back into her human form once again. She’s happy that she’s able to now control her powers and she’s confident in taking down Scarlemagne without hurting the humans. However, Dr. Emilia wants Kipo to use her powers to specifically take down the Mega Monkey. But Kipo doesn’t say anything. Why can’t she tell them that the monkey is her mom? It’s not like Kipo was given the impression that the scientists already knew of her or her family. 

21. Awkward moment alert! Roberto tells Benson that he should date Wolf because she’s been saying nice things about Benson to him. LOL! His plan backfired. Benson decides to tell the truth and Roberto immediately gets the hint and it seems like he would be happy for his son, Troy to be with Benson. Phew! For a minute there, I thought Roberto would be that homophobic parent we all hate tbh. But considering the fact that the show’s setting takes place very much in the distant future, I’d like to think that gay relationships would be much more normalized by then. 

22. Kipo is facing a dilemma because she might have to fight her own mom, who is mind-controlled. Benson, yet again, comes up with a plan to get Kipo and Roberto to sneak out in the middle of the night and Roberto navigating through the tunnels to get Kipo to reach the place where her mom is being kept. She goes up to the surface to immediately find her mom who is asleep but it looks like she’s tied to a giant tree? 

23. OMG look at that face; I just want to cry. Song wakes up and they share an emotional reunion. However, Kipo gets grabbed by a flamingo and is dropped onto an empty clearing in the forest.

24. She is then greeted by Scarlemagne and her mind-controlled father. So she has no other choice but to hold herself back from attacking. The episode then ends here. 

25. That’s the end of my review of episode 7. Thank you guys so much for having read my review/reaction. I really appreciate your support. Please check out my review of episode 8 for when it will be out tomorrow. Till then, bye!

[go-ldy]

Riverdale 3x01

Next on my Riverdale rewatch was 3x01 Labor Day. Yes I am watching out of order. I am an anarchist and agent of chaos. I do what I want in these carona time.

Plus I just love this episode it is like putting on a warm blanket on a cold fall day:

How cute are Betty and Jughead? I KNOW, I KNOW. THEY ARE ALWAYS CUTE. But like if your heart doesn't burst out of your chest with warm feelings when Jughead puts his beanie on Betty’s head and promises that they are partners in life, serpents everything then there is something wrong with you and I cannot help.

I just love that scene - the fire, the aforementioned beanie, Jug’s cheesy little speech, but also I think it is emblematic of just how well he knows her. Has Betty been as open with anyone else in her life about her self-harm and fears about her darkness? And Jughead! He is so good at reaching her when she is spiraling and so gentle at bringing her back. Honestly the people now trying to describe this relationship as "toxic" is just laughable to me. It is a very incorrect opinion and I will keep saying it.

I have never thought Riverdale gave Betty enough room to breathe and come to terms either with her father being the Black Hood or with his death at the end of season 3. We have to infer that a lot of her grieving process happened offscreen. We know in 3x01 that she is forging Adderral prescriptions, which was actually a really interesting plotline to me, but it was dropped basically immediately because of course it was. 

I inferred that one the reasons she threw herself into Archie's case (other than wanting to help her friend) was to give herself something to focus on other than her father, and to feel like she was accomplishing something.

Anyway in my head canon, Jughead was like, incredibly aware throughout that summer that Betty was maybe one beat away from a nervous breakdown and I like to think he was constantly hovering behind her in case it happened (in a sweet way, an I'm-here-for-you-way) and his support went a long way to keeping Betty grounded over those months.

This wasn't even a particularly bughead focused episode, I just get side tracked easily.

I did re watch trying to look for BA crumbs. Were we supposed to take Betty's dedication to helping Archie's case as romantic? Or a clue that she still had unresolved feelings for him? And even with 4x17 fresh in my mind, it is not portrayed that way at all? There are no longing looks between them, no lingering glances that would suggest romance. And the Core 4 as a whole are pretty tied into Archie in 3x01 so it is hard to single out Betty's effort. I mean, Jughead arranges for Archie to receive a Serpent tattoo to protect him in prison which ultimately proves to be useless but it is a nice gesture I guess.

There's a weird plotline where Penny steals Hot Dog and the Serpents have to go rescue him and honestly the gangs and turf wars in season 3 went mostly over my head like it all seemed so disjointed and confused.

I have said before and will say again that I don't understand the legal system that operates in the lawless hellhole that is Riverdale but Mary Andrews acting as her own son's defence lawyer is such a huge conflict of interest and I can't handle it? Lady, how can you give him proper objective advice, he's your SON. And can you imagine the closing argument from the Prosecution: "My friend will tell you that Archie Andrews is innocent. Of course she will say that. She is his mother." Boom. Destroyed.

Archie deciding on that plea deal in court on the spot without talking to his lawyer or anyone else about it is first was a very impulsive and dumb and a very Archie Andrews thing to do.

The end where Betty sees Juniper and Dagwood floating above a fire in the backyard and then has a seizure??? honestly the most unexplained plotline in the history of this show. I know in the next episode, Alice and Polly were just like: “lol Betty, you crazy.” And MAYBE? It was a seizure induced hallucination? The thing is we will literally never know what was happening in that scene and we all just need to accept and be okay with that.

I think I will return to re watching season 1 again. OR WILL I. I am an unpredictable rebel who cannot be contained.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #328

okay i’m going the fuck to bed now. @_@

Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No; the only time I ever will will possibly be my wedding, if even then. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I'm capable, but I don't believe it will happen. Who’s the last person you video-chatted with? My therapy group via Zoom. Do ski lifts make you nervous or do you like them? Never been in one, but they seem cool. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. Nice combo. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Please explain to me how ANY tattoo inherently equates to being "trashy." I actually love sleeve tats. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? No. I experienced a few crushes my freshman year of high school, but they weren't just anybody. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I may or may not get a tattoo of Darkiplier doing his i c o n i c debut smile somewhere, but idk. I already have one tattoo related to Mark and would kill for another with his handwriting, so having three would be a bit... wild, haha. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? Usually. Can you remember what you last clapped for? Yes; everyone in group clapped for one of the women taking a big step against her agoraphobia. Is your hair damaged? No, it's actually super healthy. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? The litterbox and my room in general. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? No. Most interesting place you’ve ever visited? Chicago was a big shock to me. I am FAR from used to cities that incredible and stocked. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I don't groom them, so they're on the thicker end. Do you always wear a bra? Not at home and if there's no company. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Yeah, a few times. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Who says I'm marrying a man? But whatever, no. Keep that behind closed doors. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? No more than two. I usually don't even have two. Have you ever had sex outside? No. Have you ever been outside naked? No. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. You ever like someone who liked you back, but didn’t want a relationship?: That's pretty much where I'm at now. Have you ever fallen for someone who didn’t feel the same? No. Are you financially stable? No. Mom can barely afford rent right now; I had to pay it last month with gifted money. Are you emotionally stable? hunny Do you think kids these days are growing up too quickly? I kinda think so, yeah. It's funny how different kids are now compared to when I was whatever age they are. I try to be open-minded about it, though; times change, and I don't expect my generation to be the only "right" way to have grown up. I just think kids are chasing the power of "maturity" with much more vigor. Are you a rebel? Not really. Do you like when people use proper grammar on the Internet? Yeah. I like conversing with people who type just how they talk, like me. Have you ever driven or been a passenger on a motorcycle? Neither. I don't want to ride one. Do you use standard time, or 24 hour time? Standard time. Do you enjoy NASCAR? "HE'S MAKIN ANOTHER LEFT TURRRRRRN!" Lol no, I really don't. Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met? Probably Sara, honestly. What amazing adventures have you been on? What's this "adventure" you speak of? What would you do if had enough money to not need a job? Lots of traveling with my camera, still selling art anyway. What TV series do you keep coming back to and re-watching? None. What would your perfect vacation look like? Y'know, one of those glass dome ceiling cabin... things in the mountains with Sara would be so, SO cool. So much nature for us to explore. What are some obscure things that you are or were really into? Most of my interests honestly, haha. The strangest is probably "vulture culture," in which the remains (typically the bones) of a naturally deceased wild animal are basically recycled for some sort of artistic purpose. You could consider my roadkill photography an example. What are some things everyone should try at least once? I dunno, man. Depends on what you're into. What would your perfect morning be like? Cuddles with an s/o watching some funny videos or something like that to get in some morning laughter. What are you always game for? Video games, haha. What do you do to unwind? Watch YouTube. What’s your favorite piece of furniture you’ve ever owned? I don't have a fave. What would be the best city to live in? I don't want to live in a city. What would you like to know more about, but haven’t had the time to look into it? Time isn't an issue; I just haven't. There's lots of stuff. I'm a very curious person. How have you changed from when you were in high school? I'm less depressed, but more confused, scared, and much less motivated. Imagine a chicken wandering around with its head chopped off. Where is the most fun place around where you live? Nothing, really... Where would your friends or family be most surprised to find you? Like, a strip club or something. What’s expensive but totally worth it? This depends on what's important to you. For me, a quality DSLR camera. When do you feel most out of place? Whenever I'm some place fancy. What��s the most recent thing you’ve done for the first time? No idea. What small seemingly insignificant decision had a massive impact on your life? Accepting Jason's friend request on Facebook because I thought it was a different Jason I actually knew. What did you do last summer? Nothing, just stayed indoors trying not to melt into a sizzling puddle. What are you most grateful for? My mom. What’s the most essential part of a friendship? Trust, maybe. When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Many, many years ago when I used to walk outside for hours with my iPod. All modesty aside, what are you better at than 90% of people? It doesn’t have to be useful or serious, it can be something ridiculous. 90% is a lot, man. Maybe bonding with animals? What’s the strangest phone conversation you’ve ever had? I don’t know. What do you like but are kind of embarrassed to admit? If I'm embarrassed by it, I have no interest in sharing it. What skill or ability have you always wanted to learn? Even just a smidge of social skills. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had? Probably the spicy shrimp fritas at Olive Garden. I adore those sooooooooo so much. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a kid? The zoo. We didn't go often at all, but I would frequently nag Mom about going. What’s something that most people haven’t done, but you have? Fed a freshly severed rat to a vulture. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I wanna go back to that bird rescue... What says the most about a person? How they treat others. What machine or appliance in your house aggravates you the most? The dryer. It can take a few rounds to fully dry something. What places have you visited that exceeded your expectations? Chicago, that I actually remember. Disney World probably did, but I was just a little kid and only have faint memories of the trip. What’s the worst advice someone has given you? I don't know. Besides your home and your work, where do you spend most of your time? People leave their houses? What are your top 3 favorite things to talk about? Mark, meerkats, and video games. When you were a kid, what seemed like the best thing about being a grown up? No one could tell me no for "stupid" reasons. What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? Strange way? I haven't got a clue. What’s your favorite band NAME (not necessarily your favorite band)? Maybe Cradle of Filth. Badass metal name. There are a lot of good ones, though. What’s your favorite thing to do outdoors? Take pictures of flowers or animals. How often do you dance? Silly/ironic dancing counts. Essentially never. Who besides your parents taught you the most about life? Jason, I guess. What’s been the most significant plot twist in your own life? The breakup that I thought was physically impossible, entirely unfathomable. Where did you take family vacations to when you were younger? We didn't really go on vacations. If you could instantly receive a Ph.D. in any discipline including all the knowledge and experience that goes along with it, what would your Ph.D. be in? Biology. What are the top three social situations you try to avoid most? Anywhere where I have to speak publicly; parties/get-togethers involving people I don't know; anywhere that is extremely crowded. Just social situations in general, really... What friendship you’ve had has impacted you the most? My friendship with Sara. What’s something you’re interested in that most people wouldn’t expect? Uhhh I don't know, really. What’s the hardest you’ve worked for something? My recovery from the breakup. What took you way too long to figure out? The only person who had any right to control my happiness and will to live was myself. What nicknames have you had throughout your life? If you include online ones as well, there's Britt, Britt-Britt, Twinkie, Bee, Flower, Ruby, Mozart2, Ozz(y), Alessa, and uhhh... I wanna say that's it? What do you do differently than most people? I deconstruct my breakfast biscuits to eat one part at a time... haha. Where’s the last place you’d ever go? Prison. What fact floored you when you heard it? That my dad did some hard drugs before us kids were born. I was entirely speechless. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah, it doesn't bother me. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. It smells awful. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? Air dry. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like the idea of catching wild animals just to pick up and check out. That poor critter is terrified. I'd rather just take pictures of it and let it go about its day. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? I want my next tattoo to be a big'n. How many pills do you take every morning? I absolutely do not want to count. A whole lot. What was the last parade you went to? /shrug What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? If I was hypothetically having kids, let's see. A son, absolutely dinosaurs. A daughter, maybe meadowy with baby animals. My baby blanket was full of baby animals, so it'd be kinda cute, that connection. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Not because of gender norms, but by personal choice, pastel pink. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. What is the last thing you missed out on that you wanted to go to? Hm. Who do you wish were your best friend? I am perfectly happy with who already is my best friend. Who do you wish you could go on another date with? She knows. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? I'm not sure, but my high school friend Megan is due to have her daughter Persephone soon! She won the naming game. Like damn, how badass would it feel for your name to be Persephone. Do you have a favorite M&M? Just the classic ones. Is it easy to make you cry? OHHHHH YES IT IS. Have you ever snuck out? Nah. Who was the last person to comment you? On Facebook? My friend Lyndsey commented on a photo I shared. What song reminds you of being in middle school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by A Day To Remember is the anthem for going through puberty in school and trying to figure yourself out. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. What’s something really basic that you’re terrible at? Cooking. Are you pale or tan? I'm very pale. When’s the last time you were kissed? On the lips, like two or so years ago. Do you like the movie Grease? Never seen it, actually. What’s your favorite Jim Carrey movie? The Mask, probably. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? I think a fawn. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? I meeeaaan... Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? Yes and yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? Well, it's complicated. I don't, but I also want to be a freelance photographer, so I kinda would. I like the idea of having an office in my house purely for productive activities to prevent becoming lazy because I'd be at home. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am one.

[vagrantblvrd]

Superhero/supervillain AU where Jeremy’s power is shapeshitfing something along the lines of Mystique.

Pair that with his incredible ability to mislead/lie/etc., and there’s an amazing AU of superhero!Jeremy who is recruited by government agencies/superhero teams for undercover work and so on.

Spends 99% of his adult career in the superhero field as someone else - guy has henchpersoned for the most vile superheros on Earth (and other worlds, because why not) and all that?

Maybe his bosses take advantage of his skills/abilities - God knows younger Jeremy wasn��t super bright - and maybe he’s responsible for a few injustices. (Wrongfully convicted people that begged him to think about what he was doing and he just thought they were trying to flip him?)

And you know at some point one of his bosses is sekritly a baddie and frames Jeremy for some horrendous incident.

A bus of nuns chaperoning orphans on their way to adopt kittens and puppies rescued from breeding mills that featured in a news segment with  Sarah McLachlan in the background because someone on the news crew forgot to put their phone on silent and it’s their ringtone because they love sadness or some shit, idk, but it makes Jeremy look awful, okay?

He has to go on the run and the only one he can turn to is, you know, this supervillain type in Ryan?

Former superhero0ish government agent/whatever Jeremy was who got burned the same way and fakes his death to come back as a masked supervillain.

He was supposed to be Jeremy’s next assignment but Ryan got a new head henchperson in Gavin instead, and just.

Yes.

The three of them working together to expose the baddie who framed Jeremy because common enemy/goals?

And Jeremy realizing how he’s been used all this time.

Ryan is like.

Obviously doesn’t trust Jeremy, but he knows what it’s like to be in his position? But he can’t go easy on Jeremy so he and Gavin basically haze him?

Send him off to do the grunt work when something like that needs doing. (Lol at him over the cameras they’ve got watching him as he has to slog through the sewers looking for an entrance to some facility or other they plan to infiltrate. One not on the blueprints - and doesn’t actually exist because someone gave them bad intel and the knew that? But they don’t let Jeremy in on it until he returns to the base/lair and is like no success, guys.

AND.

Sparring sessions with Gavin on the sidelines on his laptop or whatever and Jeremy and Ryan really going at it?

Ryan intentionally provoking Jeremy, needling him about all his past missions and how many times did he do the baddie’s dirty work for him? How many lives has he ruined and so on until Jeremy mcfreaking snaps.

Has been trying not to think about that until they stop the baddie and he can wallow all he wants? But Ryan won’t let him.

Ryan totally lets Jeremy pin him, this close to actually killing him in his anger?

But then Gavin’s there, calm and cold and ruthless with this knife or what have you at Jeremy’s throat and a polite, “Perhaps you should rethink things, Jeremy,” or “I don’t think so,” or something else super cool sounding my brain won’t cough up right now, but like.

The first time Jeremy sees Gavin as the threat he is and not just this somewhat bumbling henchperson?

Also.

He looks at Ryan and the isn’t gloating like he thought he would be? Hes just. Got this look on his face that’s a bit satisfied because you know the same thing happened to Ryan before, something that made him take a good long look at his life and the things he’d done thinking he was in the right and just, idk.

Then that whole sequence of Jeremy really re-evaluating his life up to that point. All the shit he did as a government agent/superhero/??? and how everything went wrong when he was framed.

Even the way he’d been looking at Ryan and Jeremy as temporary allies, useful in the moment but no real reason to give a fuck about them once everything was over? (Except there was this part of him that had grown to like them, even if they were bastards to him at first?)

While this is going on one of his old bosses finds him and offers him a deal - help them put a stop to the baddie and they can clear his name. Reinstate him, promote him, whatever, because they’re desperate and think Jeremy’s just going to fall in line that easily now. (Oh, and when Jeremy mentions Ryan and Gavin he’s told they  have to be stopped as well because supervillains??? Duh, Jeremy.)

Anyway, Jeremy tells them he’ll think about it and goes back to the base/lair.

Ryan has this look on his face like he knows something happened, but he doesn’t mention it. Turns back to Gavin who’s briefing him - and other henchpersons - about some new intel they got while Jeremy was gone.

Gavin glances at him, and Jeremy has the feeling he knows something is up too, but like Ryan doesn’t bring it up.

This intel that will help them get the baddie for sure this time and everyone works on some plan to that end.

Jeremy feeling guilty as hell the whole time because on one hand he could have his life back, get a damn promotion he should have gotten ages ago in the bargain and all that?

And all he has to do is betray Ryan and Gavin and the others who took him in when his life got all fucked up.

He keeps getting these looks from Ryan and Gavin - and like. Other henchpersons, but no one says anything.

The sparring sessions and whatnot continue and one day Jeremy’s like oh, fuck me, because Ryan and Gavin are going at it in the training room, right?

All Ryan’s power and strength up against Gavin’s speed and agility and it’s the cliche of it looking like they’re dancing rather than fighting?

Because, look.

There’s probably some history between them too, you know?

Former agent/superhero Ryan and this absolutel fucking bastard in Gavin who’s some internationally renowned thief/assassin and their flirty/sexual tension-filled encounters over the years?

Gavin being the one to help Ryan when he was betrayed by his bosses/whatever and all this trust and the whatnot, and of course they know one another’s fighting style forwards and backwards and all that.

Anyway.

They’re having a fucking blast, trading quips and pithy one-liners and it’s like. Jeremy doesn’t even know because it goes so far beyond the oh, no, he/they’re hot thing into something completely else.

And then!

The day of the Final Battle and the three of them at the forefront and Jeremy being forced to choose between getting his old life back, or....not.

Baddie’s been stopped/killed by his own hand because of course, and now it’s this one last choice on Jeremy’s part.

Ryan took a bad hit in the fight and Gavin protecting him with his body and -

He’s not even giving Jeremy a pleading look, with Jeremy standing there and choice to save them or destroy them in the pal of his hand (to be all fricking poetic about it), no.

He’s just watching Jeremy like hey, no, he gets it, he does, and also after all this, what’s your decision gong be, hmm? like he’s expecting Jeremy to betray them.

So of course Jeremy gets angry, fucking pissed, because he didn’t do all this personal growth shit for nothing, you know?

Turns his back on the people who went to him for help, expected him to fall in line like a good little sheep or whatever and tells them to fuck off.

Causes a distraction and calls in some of the henchpersons for a emergency exctraction and they hightail it to a sekrit bunker or whatever Ryan ha set up somewhere.

Jeremy sticks around long enough to make sure everyone’s going to be okay and then gets the hell out of there. (Guilty as hell and thinking he’s more than worn out his his welcome with Ryan and Gavin and it’s just better this way?)

Roams aimlessly around for a bit, does acts of superheroism and whatnot when he runs into a bad situation and then moves on.

And then, of course, there’s this time he superheroes his little heart out abd gets abducted by these henchpersons?

Doesn’t know who they work for because nondescript clothing/armor, and gets taken to some base/lair and put into your standard interrogation scene?

Uncooperative as hell with the asshole using the voice modulator asking him all these questions? (Kind of thinks this is it, this is how he dies in some assholes hidden base/lair/bunker like a loser.)

But then!

One of Jeremy’s answers is just an incredibly creative way to tell someone to fuck off an die? And the asshole with the voice modulator fucking loses it, starts laughing like an asshole and the modulator gets turned off or something because after a moment Jeremy recognizes the laughter.

Fucking Gavin.

Wheezing and squeaking until he turns the PA or whatever off, and the enforce type in the room with Jeremy sighs.

Looks up at the observation window that goes does cool high-tech shit to go from foggy white/reflective mirror to see-through glass and Gavin waves down at them, stupid grin on his face and still laughing.

The enforcer type sighs again and reaches up to pull off the mask/helmet/whatever and of fucking course it’s Ryan.

Him and Gavin looking all over the damn place for Jeremy all this time.

Well, okay. They gave him a few months to get his shit together, but when he just went on with his moping and it stopped being productive/whatever, they decided enough was enough.

Which is how they got to this little point in time.

Ryan sits down across from Jeremy and just. Looks at him.

Jeremy who hasn’t been taking the best care of himself and all that and just.

“You’re an idiot.”

Which Jeremy knows full well?

Doesn’t get the feeling Ryan and Gavin are going to kill him, because nah, but. There’s probably some yelling in his future.

Which, yes?

But also smooches.

First though, long involved talk. Awkward flirting with Jeremy  - fucking finally - realizing Ryan and Gavin are all oh, no, he’s hot about him and have been for a while. Didn’t do anything about it before now, because no way to know if he’d turn on them or not, and best not to complicate things further?

Once Jeremy picked them/their side over getting his old life back they thought it might be okay to test the waters and see if he was likewise interested in them?

But then he ran, and they were like, well okay, thinking that was as good as an answer? (And then they found out he was just. Getting himself in deeper and deeper in all the moping and going nowhere good, and just. Yeah.)

But now!

Awkward flirting and awkward dates and someone being daring enough to kiss someone goodnight on the cheek and all the dumb idiots in love shit I love.

And then the smooches and the whatnot.

Also the three of them being ~supervillains and the whatnot, because yes.

[buckysoldierstories]

Not Ready For Love

1/?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Latina!reader, Javier Peña x Latina!reader (love triangle) 

Summary: Set after Endgame. You’re the newest addition to the Avengers. After being a Hydra guinea pig, you are left with tattoos and piercings done to you during your time with the corrupted organization. What happens when a certain super soldier seems put off by your appearance and your lack to follow directions?

Warnings: Bucky is kind of an asshole at first, angst, so much smut to come but it’s slow burn for now, enemies to lovers, lots of jealousy to come, mature language, talk of torture, violence...

I made reader Latina because we need more love, damnit! LOL 



“Remember, mija. You are no one’s door mat. You are no man’s toy. And you are certainly not to bite your tongue to please people.”

You sat up on your bed, remembering your mother’s tough yet loving words as tears filled your eyes. You had no idea when you had fallen asleep but the sun was shining directly into your room and you had almost forgotten why you were laying in bed in the middle of a work day.

Oh, that’s right. That horrific meeting you had just endured. You had remembered all your teammates’ faces when harsh words were thrown at you. Sam’s, Scott’s, Clint’s, and Bruce’s. The humiliation you were stabbed with when the one person you’ve tried so hard to like you stood there and spat venom at you. 

“He didn’t mean it. He never means it.” Sam’s words ring in your head. But this time, it went somewhere it shouldn’t have.

Ever since you were rescued from Hydra and were recruited by Sam as an Avenger, everyone had accepted and loved on you like you’ve been with them forever. Everyone except the Winter Soldier. Especially if you weren’t covered up in hoodies and sweatpants. You were experimented on, tortured, and every other horrible thing imaginable... and your body showed it. 

In some places, you had odd piercings, around your back and thighs, you had tattoos and carvings of Russian words that you never learned the meaning of, and on the back of your hand, you had the infamous Hydra emblem; the hideous skull octopus that constantly reminded you of what happened if you cut off one head. Two more will take it’s place. A horrific quote said to you as they drilled the marking on you while a group of vile and corrupted men promised you that there was no escape.

Your memories were interrupted when you heard a knock on your door and you were brought back to reality. You wiped the tears you didn’t even know had escaped your eyes when you heard the one voice you wanted nothing to do with right now.

“It’s-it’s Bucky. Can we talk?” 

“Listen, Sam, I can do it! Nat taught me all she knew, I know I can get the intel, and I’m not a bad flirt!” You argued as Sam, Clint and Scott nodded in agreement. “Plus, she’s gorgeous!” Bruce enunciated, Clint laughed as he stretched his arms out as to make you the center of attention during the small mission briefing. Sam laughed and opened his mouth to give approval of you going on the assignment when in chirped someone who had a habit of ‘picking’ on you way too much.

“Eh, her face is okay-ish but the rest of her, the jury is still out on that one.” Bucky said, re-reading the assignment for the thousandth time and never looking up at the small group, feeling like this meeting was the biggest waste of his time. The four men stared at him in annoyance, knowing it wasn’t Bucky if he wasn’t picking a fight with you at some point in the day.

“Dude...” Scott said and you just rolled your eyes, trying your best to ignore the ‘harmless joke’ as you brought your attention back to Sam.

“Barnes, I wasn’t talking to you, pendejo! C’mon, Sam! I got this-“

Bucky dropped the assignment on the table and stood up, unamused by the Spanish curse words you spat at him daily and grabbed his coffee mug as you felt his eyes seeping into your back. 

“Nobody wants you flirting with them! I mean what’s your game plan, doll? None. You can’t show off your figure without showing men... you know...” Bucky’s hand motioned to your body as he took a long sip of his coffee and you swallowed hard, feeling humiliated as he very verbally pointed out your biggest insecurities and flaws. “... Not gonna cut it. Get Wanda to do it.” Bucky said before turning on his heel as he mumbled something about being late for another briefing.

“Dude, why is he being such a dick?” Scott said as he and Clint cursed out Bucky but you weren’t paying attention to anything around you anymore. Sam squeezed your hand and told you he’d kick his ass once the meeting was done but you just rolled your eyes and shrugged it off, telling him it didn’t matter.

You stayed quiet and dug your nails into the palm of your hands, hoping Bucky would just leave so you wouldn’t have to hear his voice for the remainder of the day. The silence was short lived when he spoke up again. 

“Um, well... Sam said you backed out of the assignment. Just thought that was odd. It’s not in your nature to actually back out of a miss-“ You stopped listening and stood from your bed, anger and embarrassment washing over you once more. 

You walked towards the door and opened it, Bucky almost losing his footing as you backed up to look him over. His long locks framed his face and his usual ocean eyes seemed lighter than usual. Did he actually come to apologize? For once he wasn’t frowning your way.

“The fuck do you want, Barnes?” You crossed your arms, disgust plastered on your face and you tried to think back when did you two started hating each other.

He always passed up on sparring with you, training with you, hell, you even overheard a conversation where Bucky told Sam to make sure your room wasn’t near his when you first moved in. It hurt, all of it but you would push through and be the first one to put him in his place. Wanda said it was engraved in you to be hot blooded. 

A part of you wondered if he just didn’t trust you; the latest recruit with the Hydra tattoos who was quick to call people out on their bullshit and the first to run into enemy fire.

“I already asked you, why the hell did you back out of the mission?” Bucky mimicked you and crossed his arms over his thick and defined chest, being a good height difference and towering over your frame as to intimidate you into answering. He knew it wouldn’t work, there was too much fire in you.

“Not that it’s any of your damn business but I gave it to Wanda. Why the fuck do you care?” Nobody got your heart to race as hard as Bucky and you hated that. Or maybe it was just him you hated. 

“Well, A, it is my damn business because whether you like it or not, Sam isn’t your only boss and whatever reckless decision you make, I need to be in on...” You rolled your eyes and mouthed, ‘Here we go again’, knowing well that it aggravated the shit out of him when you did that.

“Stop calling me reckless, Barnes! I haven’t been reckless on our assignments!!”

“You’re ALWAYS reckless, y/n! What the fuck are you talking about?!” Bucky yelled right back, your hands going up towards him like you wanted to strangle him. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I’VE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUALLY COVER AND SAVE YOUR ASS!” You screamed and you felt your face getting hot as he took a step towards you, meeting you in your heated blow out.

“I NEVER ASKED YOU TO! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY! YOU’RE A FUCKIN’ LIABILITY TO ME AND I DON’T NEED YOU DISTRACTING SAM OR ANYONE BY BEING YOUR FUCKIN’ BABY SITTER!” 

Is that what the team really thought of you? If Bucky thought you a liability, surely they must’ve voiced their opinion as well. It hurt. Everything all at once. 

Before you can open your mouth, FRIDAY’s voice rang out in your room, causing a sigh of relief to escape his lips.

“Miss Y/n, Mr. Barnes, a last minute mandatory meeting is being held in ten minutes by Mr. Wilson.” 

You looked down at your hand where the Hydra tattoo was and rubbed it subconsciously as the AI spoke, feeling Bucky’d eyes boring holes into you as you waited for him to leave.

“Tell him we’re on our way.” Bucky said, turning and immediately leaving your room, not bothering to close your door.

Fuck, his words stung. You wondered if Bucky just enjoyed breaking you apart. If he really believed you were still Hydra or if he was just that disgusted with you.

You wanted to hurt him. Badly. But you knew there was nothing you could touch him with. Physically, he could overpower you. Emotionally, he was guarded. You’d find Bucky Barnes’ weakness one way or another. Even if it killed you in the process.

TAGS: @hyperesthesias​ @fvckingavengers​ @buckywiththegoodglare​ @xetoilerouge​ @yanderespaghetti-os​