#when All That Stuff happened i put al on the shelf and then it was so hard to think of what to draw

[skunkes]

i get worried about how irl Love would affect my art since the entirety of my art is copium fantasy... like ok hello boyfriend number 3

[gregorygerwitz]

[ ID: tags that read ‘#i have so many questions about the scream AU #i just have no coherency to ask them #or want to know things that would give away the plot #like if this does get written #will the party be described? #how does the killer get unmasked? #and more questions that i cant figure out how to put into words yet’ /end ID ]

tags are from @tealmoonlight

[ scream au moodboard ]

So, here’s the thing... I’m equally as incoherent about this AU, so we’ll be fine. If you come up with anything else, just ask. I’ve already told a few people who the copycat is I just want to yell about my kids and all the trauma I’m putting them through (I swear I love them I just also love horror films! so I’m combining my loves)

If I had the time I’d be working on this right now and I wish that was more of a joke than it is

warnings: death, canon-typical violence, horror film-typical violence

Under a cut because I’m so excited about this concept and this is gonna be long thank you for asking even these I will try to make sense 💜

If this gets written, the party where the Cozy Trio were attacked would be like... the prologue, so to speak? It would be partially described, or at least the scene that Trudy, Voight, and Al find would be described. I have to start right off the bat with Mouse covered in blood and suffering and protecting two kids - for reference, he was 17, while Jay and Hailey were 15, and the attack happened at his party he held while Thelma and Gregory were at a fundraiser and therefore not home. He absolutely feels partially responsible for everything that happened that night, because if it wasn’t for him, that many people wouldn’t have been in one spot for Knox and Disco Bob to easily find, and there would have been less carnage, at least, if not none at all.

So the way they’re found - locked in a bathroom with no windows so there’s only one entrance to guard, Jay bleeding from a few knife wounds (alive but clinging to it), Hailey scared and sitting on the tile floor next to him with less serious injuries but still plenty of blood on her hands and clothes, Mouse with a dirty cop’s gun raised and ready to fire at the door while he’s shaking too much to actually pull the trigger (again, because he already shot Knox to save Jay less than an hour ago). That would be described in the prologue, as an introduction to this universe and what, exactly, readers would be getting into. Just these absolutely terrified kids who survived something horrible and have to somehow move forward from that. The rest of the party and that attack might be described in flashbacks, later? Like when the copycat starts killing and the similarities are obvious to the Cozy Trio and the people who worked the original case? Things that would tie back a little bit more organically than just dropping all of it at the beginning.

The original killers get unmasked kind of anticlimactically? There’s not a lot of mystery in the original case, in a way. Knox is a college kid who crashed the party and no one there actually knew very well. At most he helped them get alcohol, but it’s the Gerwitz house so there was probably more just whatever they had laying around - wine, fancy expensive beer, top shelf liquors, stuff like that. And then Bob conveniently shows up shortly after the first kill, in uniform, claiming that a neighbor complained about the noise. They’re both people who are not supposed to be there, people who stand out in the small crowd of the party, so when the attacks continue throughout the night, there’s a moment of “wait, where are those guys we don’t know???” that kind of gives them away.

The copycat killings and attacks are the mystery, and therefore the focus of the fic, if it ends up happening. There are four attacks made by the copycat that lead up to their reveal:

an attack on a teen Halloween party, which alerts the team to what’s happening and sets them on the case and sets up the three red herrings

an attack on Jay, which clears [red herring 2] of suspicion

an attack on Mouse, which clears [red herring 1] and [red herring 3]

an attack on Hailey, where the real copycat(s) is/are revealed and taken down

This is like... over planned. Maybe I’ll write it for Halloween this year or something 😅 we’ll see. But until then I will happily babble about it and go on and on about all my plans (with the red herrings and copycat(s) redacted most likely) so as soon as you have more coherent questions, or if anyone has any questions (coherent or otherwise), absolutely feel free to send them!

[some-stars]

for no particular reason other than im making it right now, here is my family recipe for Spaghetti and Clam Sauce From a Can (But Better)

what you need:

1 lb spaghetti, get de cecco or another good italian brand if you can

1 reasonably generous bunch of parsley. if your supermarket sells those teeny tiny bunches get 2

4-8 cloves of garlic, to taste

1 can white clam sauce (cento is best, delallo is fine)

2 small cans chopped clams (NOT minced)

olive oil (not the super expensive stuff, but not the absolute bottom shelf $4 bottle either, it adds a lot of flavor)

fresh ground pepper (also salt but that’s obvious. do NOT skip the pepper)

a 12-16 oz bag of frozen vegetables to serve it over (i like broccoli florets bc the heads soak up the sauce)

Steps:

1. Get the water boiling for the spaghetti. When it’s boiling vigorously, add plenty of salt (like a 1/4 cup, double that if you’re using large-grain kosher salt) and add the spaghetti. Cook until al dente and drain. Ideally this happens right as the sauce is done but it’s fine if it sits around in the colander for a few minutes.

2. While waiting for the water to boil, chop the garlic and the parsley. You don’t need to pick off the leaves, just cut off the bottom few inches of the whole bunch before you wash it, then pick out any really thick stems and chop the rest.

3. Drain the liquid from the canned clams into a bowl.

4. In a large pan, heat enough olive oil to fully cover the bottom and maybe a little more. When it’s hot, add the garlic and sauté for 1-2 minutes. Do NOT let it burn or you’ll have to wipe out the pan and start over. Slightly undercooked is fine here (but golden is best if you’re confident you won’t burn it).

5. Add about a third of the parsley to the pan and sauté for a couple minutes until it’s all wilted and darkens in color. Then add the clam liquid that you set aside and turn the heat up high so it boils.

6. Let the liquid in the pan reduce by half, then add roughly 2/3 of the remaining parsley and continue cooking for 2-4 minutes (-ish). You want to get this parsley also dark and wilted, and the original parsley even softer and to the point where it starts to slightly lose its color. Don’t stress about it though.

7. This is a good time to put the frozen vegetables in the microwave.

8. Add the clam sauce to the pan, cook until it reduces slightly (once there are actual clams in there you don’t want to cook too much more or they get tough). Then add the drained clams and cook just until they’re warm, then add the remaining parsley, stir to combine and slightly wilt it, and remove from the heat. At some point during this step add several to many grinds of pepper and some salt (maybe 1/4 to a 1/2 tsp? idk, eyeball it. Don’t go crazy bc your pasta will be seasoned from the salty water).

8a. It’s a good idea to set aside about a half cup of the pasta water right before draining the spaghetti, so that if your sauce ends up too loose you can add a couple spoonfuls of starchy pasta water and stir over medium heat until it thickens.

9. This step will be easier if you transfer the sauce from the pan to the empty pot that held the spaghetti. Then mix in the spaghetti and serve on top of the vegetables with lots of Parmesan. I use some fresh grated for the flavor and also some from the green can for texture, but follow your heart.

Ta da! Delicious meal with green vegetables and minimal effort, and it microwaves well too. You can also use garlic from the jar or garlic paste if you only want to chop one (1) thing—just use more if it’s jarred because it’s less strong than fresh, and maybe add a pinch of garlic powder to round out the flavor. There’s not really any protein but you have two other meals to take care of that.

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 26.6.24

Dream 1: I was at school, wandering around and doing random stuff like it was recess. I felt like a little girl. I went up to a teacher who gave me a frozen iced dessert and sandwich to give to NM (a co-worker). While doing so, she asked me how I was going and I gave a fake sugary sweet answer like, Yeah things are going great. After I walked around trying to find NM to give the food to her but couldn't find her. I ended up having to circle back to where I had just been and saw the same teachers from before. Their demeanors had changed, since they were just talking to each other now and it seemed like they were mad about something. They were upset about how the students didn't have any menus or options to choose from. They saw me but continued since they were absorbed in their conversation. The general gist is something had happened where the students had deserved better.

Dream 2: I was at 'work' but actually we were in one of those portable classrooms in a school. It was an empty classroom, just MN and I. I was going about things as usual, as if I really was at work, when SM appeared to start his shift. It's the first one since he'd gotten back from his overseas trip, I haven't seen him in a month. I am trying to sus what the vibe is. I had kind of assumed that it was going to be a return to the pointless low-vibe limerence thing and I felt done with that so I don't say anything, I don't even look at him. I noticed his voice sounded a little different. He is having a conversation with MN, the usual 3D blah blah and I suppose I was feeling a little left out, or put off. Then they started talking about something to do with working overtime. MN said to him, We'll talk about it once we get to the 12th. I took this to mean that he was allowed to do overtime then, but not at the moment. I had my back to him, my head was in a shelf. Maybe I was putting stuff away. Then he said hey to me finally and I couldn't really find my voice, I just mumbled hey back. My voice was really croaky as if I hadn't used it in a long time. I didn't bother asking him about his trip. He said something else to MN and came back to me and said, Come on you can't be like that, in a jovial tone. He smiled and the energy between us instantly changed and opened up. It was affectionate and open. The connection was back, we were exchanging energy. He was 'there'. He touched my cheek playfully, almost like a jab, as if to say, Hello are you in there. He said something about the seal noise that we do sometimes which is a funny high-pitched laugh/inside joke we share with AL. Then MN cracked some jokes, mentioning something about a kid earlier who had said something odd. We all laughed.

Dream 3: So irl, the other day a yoga studio messaged me out of the blue trying to get me to go back and use their introductory pass which was 'still on my account'. It's something I paid for a year ago but never used. In the dream, the owner of the yoga studio messaged me again about it, and it was repeatedly. She was using more personal tactics this time, to try and get me to come back.

[keefwho]

June 05 2024 - Wednesday

10:24pm

5/10

This morning I wiped down my mirror/sink and shelf that holds most of my bathroom stuff. I also cleaned each individual item so it was all spotless. For breakfast I made a breakfast sandwich with rice and it came with 2 slices of cheese instead of 1.

For work I warmed up with what I attempted to be quick color studies of bedrooms. Then I completely finished the next commission, nearly putting me a day ahead. AL was being weird in stream today, clearly emotional about something but luckily I didn't have to intervene.

After stream I hopped on desktop VRchat while I looked for the songs sampled by a lot of the vaporwave I listen to. There were a few good ones I simply couldn't track down but I got a few. As usual in chaotic public VRchat lobbies, there were a lot of teens trying to be edgy/funny. For lunch I made tuna spaghetti.

Real quick, theres a lot of small things that happen that I just don't talk about and I think it's because I think it's embarrassing that they are even notable enough to write down. It makes me feel like I have so little going on that *this* was a landmark of my day. I also think I really didn't care about a lot of these small things I did so I don't want to talk about them like there were important to me because they weren't. They mostly stick out because of how unsatisfied I was with what I was doing but its what I DID so thats all I have to talk about. Id rather stick to documenting things that were actually important to me.

In the afternoon I did today's request and hopped into VRchat again to continue a painting "from life" I was doing. The world I joined had some guys in it, all mid-teens I think. They were an edgy little bunch aside from the 1 guy that stayed after the others left. We conversed for awhile, and by that I mean I asked him a billion questions since he didn't seem to know how to keep a conversation going. They a couple more of his friends joined to talk. It was decent company while I painted.

I hopped off to focus on working on my pony avatar. I took a few minute break, at a cookie, and got to work. I did some weight painting and attemped baking some ambient occlusion on it to see if it would be an improvement. I think it'd be better if I manually painted on any shadows/details I want.

After work I took a short desk nap while watching FLoB stream. I was mentally tuckered out so that helped. Then I joined BR's server to watch them play Minecraft for a bit. I also got whitelisted for their server so I can hop in when I'm ready to start. Then I hit up DS to chill.

We watched a furry con vlog and poked fun at some of the interesting people we saw while discussing other topics. She was gluing pieces of her fursuit foot together but had a lot of trouble with it and had to put it off until tomorrow. Before she headed upstairs, we perused this scent oil website to see what would be best to make a spray for her fursuit. I was sold on one called "secret garden." Also put some thought into what I might smell like, I think something associated with 'brown' like coffee or a kind of nut.

In bed we did puzzles and chatted some more. We talked about what it means to be evil and what it might take to be someone that works with dead bodies. After she went to sleep I browsed around everywhere before my nightly routine, nothing in particular.

I had the same bad thoughts and feelings as usual today but I am just staying aware of them and thats it. Its helping in the sense that I still maintain at least some degree of mental clarity separate from whatever is going on in my head. This is defusion at work.

[on-a-lucky-tide]

hey i'm so excited you've opened your requests! Would i be able to get #14 and Lambden? np if not :)

14. A kiss good morning

[One warning: reference to drunken sex the night before. It was enthusiastic].

Lambert was in a strange bed.

This wasn’t unusual. In fact, it happened to him a respectable amount, thank you very fucking much. But he didn’t really remember getting into this one. Not at first. His consciousness stirred with all the energy of a salted slug. The throb in his temples and the twinge in his hips brought with them bleary recollections of the night before.

Cards. Dice. Yeah, that was pretty standard. Ale, some cider—oof, yeah, added some Gull to that, which explained the thumping headache.

Lambert shifted on the lumpy pallaise and a dull, familiar ache throbbed in his pelvis. Oh, oh. Yeah. He remembered the size of the dick that had kept him company into the early hours. But the face attached? Nothing. Fuck, where did Aiden go when he headed off with Mystery Dick? Probably scored a decent tumble with one of the serving girls.

With a groan, Lambert rolled out of the bed and onto the floor. The woodgrain was coarse under his plans and he took a moment to steady his head before he looked up.

Huh. Aiden's swords were propped up in the corner like they were when they shared a room for the night. It was cheaper, you understand. If they weren't allowed in the communal room and were forced to shell out for a private one, then doubling up just made sense.

His bags were there too...

Lambert flopped onto his rear to sit against the edge of the bed and put his hand on a shirt. Not his shirt. He lifted it close to his face and the familiar woodsy spice of Aiden's scent curled through his senses. And even without it, Lambert would recognise that shoddy stitch work anywhere.

A memory hit him like a brawler's fist. A vivid physical recollection that sent sparks through his entire body. His palm on Aiden's chest, Aiden's at his waist. Then his lips tingled. Lips. On his. Aiden's... Aiden's lips.

Lambert's eyes blew wide in panic. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He'd slept with his best friend. Broken a golden rule: don't ruin a good thing by making it messy. And stuff tended to get messy when either his dick or heart were involved, and...

The door creaked open and familiar bootfalls drummed on the creaking floorboards. "Morning, sunshine," said the equally familiar drawl. "I brought fuel for the fire in your pa--what's that look for?"

Lambert was staring at Aiden with wide eyes. "I..."

"Oh, oh no," Aiden dumped the paper bags on a nearby shelf and knelt down at Lambert's side, "no regrets, not letting that happen, I promised you last night."

"Did you? Because all I remember is how good your dick and lips felt," Lambert blurted out, and then scowled at Aiden's triumphant grin. "So, now what?"

Did their friendship end? Did it all fall apart? Did Lambert fuck up the one good thing in his life?

Aiden considered Lambert with a tilted head, one thumb stroking over that unkempt beard. When Lambert's chin tilted into his palm, he smiled. "Now," he stood and collected their breakfast, flopping back at Lambert's side, "we eat breakfast."

"Aiden..."

"Lambert," Aiden said as he pulled a fresh bagel from its grease paper and passed it over. "We play the game as the pieces fall. Not everything needs to be planned meticulously down to the finite detail. I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here, for as long as you want me, and hell, even beyond because you have the finest ass I've ever fucked."

Lambert punched Aiden on the shoulder and then took a large bite out of his bagel so he didn't say something stupid like 'good, because I love you'.

Unbeknownst to Lambert, he had already said it. Tears brimming in his eyes; a drunken, emotional confession. And Aiden had said it back. He would probably remember halfway through the day as his brain pieced last night together. The hard part was convincing sober Lambert that his heart was safe, but Aiden could be patient. Lambert was worth it.

Aiden leaned over and placed a kiss on Lambert's stubbled cheek, before digging into his own bagel. He pretended not to notice the wide, bewildered eyes trying to absorb every inch of him.

[quillfeather21]

Genshin Characters as Stupid Things I’ve Done

Amber: sprained my ankle but continued to run on it anyways because ‘it’ll stop hurting in a little bit’

Aether: put a tin cup in the microwave

Albedo: mixed all of my old paints together to create ‘Franken-paint’ and accidentally drank the paint water as I surveyed my creation

Ayato: impulsively bought a fox squishmalllow because ‘I was sad’

Ayaka: started to cry on the beach when I realized my bucket was too small to carry all the shells I wanted to take with me

Beidou: drank a month old soda I found in my room because I was thirsty

Bennett: held a paper towel over a candle and was surprised when it caught on fire

Barbara: fell down the stairs after my solo in the church Christmas program

Chongyun: squeezed myself into the corner of my closet to take a nap and shut the door, causing my family to lose me for several hours

Childe: Threw my cousin off of the top of the playhouse and nearly caused him to break his leg. I then convinced my grandma that he had fallen and that I had nothing to do with it

Diluc: took too many pain meds at school and passed out in my study hall due to having over half of the lethal dosage in my system (I had just had foot surgery)

Diona: hissed at a man after he called me ‘girly’

Fischl: Yelled at a boy because he forgot that Lewis Carroll wrote The Jabberwocky (he thought the teacher just made the poem up)

Ganyu: took really nice notes only for the teacher to tell us it would be a ‘no notes’ test

Gorou: Won a capture the flag game single-handedly by putting the flag in my mouth and booking it through the woods towards my base

Heizou: told the teacher ‘the wind hit him’ after I hit a boy for taking my toy away before I was done playing with it

Hu Tao: chased my cousins, laughing maniacally, with a pair of tongs going ‘snappy snappy’ as they screamed in horror

Itto: Got chased by a dust devil after my grandma sent me out into the cornfield to go get the dogs

Klee: hid an aerosol can in my dad’s burn pile to see what would happen

Kaeya: refused to take off my jacket in 80°F weather because ‘it completes the look’

Kokomi: took three weeks to organize my bookshelf because I had to find another book shelf

Kujou Sara: Made a Junior in high school call me ‘Ma’am’ after yelling at him as a 7th grader

Lumine: got hit on by a lesbian in front of a Barnes and Noble

Noelle: watched in horror as a little boy stuck his finger into the cake I decorated for the fair, which was meant to go to the state fair a week later

Paimon: ate an entire bag of chips for the sole reason of so my father couldn’t have any

Qiqi: left my phone on the counter and started to cry because I couldn’t find it

Rosaria: dropped my Bible in church and said ‘Damn it’ audibly loud

Raiden Shogun: Ate an entire cake by myself in two days

Shenhe: threw a pencil at the back of a boy, aiming for his skull with the full intent to cause him harm

Shinobu: Did an entire presentation by myself because I didn’t trust my group to do it

Thoma: cried as a cradled a kitten because it put its paw on my nose

Venti: drank a six pack of ginger ale and then wondered why my stomach hurt, so I drank another one to settle it

Xinyan: forgot the words in the middle of a song, so I made random stuff up until I got to the chorus

Xingqiu: Made my friend snort salt and laughed when he started to cry

Xiangling: Ate an entire bag of dehydrated marshmallows and then started to cry because I felt sick

Xiao: smacked a boy across the head with an empty Pepsi bottle because he was annoying me. The teachers watched and did nothing

Yae Miko: Told the freshman class of my school that “Caesar thought he was the best too and look where that got him” and made them cry after they got open campus taken from the High School for a month.

Yelan: Had a deal with several boys in my class that I would supply them with wire and other hardware if they wouldn’t tag me during games of tag. I reminded them every time they tried that if they tagged me, they would get any more washers or copper wire to mess with

Zhongli: Co-taught my senior year history class with the history teacher because no one else paid attention to him

[ladyloveandjustice]

I posted 3,484 times in 2022

That's 707 more posts than 2021!

1,786 posts created (51%)

1,698 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kurozu501

@ladyloveandjustice

@kilruas

@dingdongyouarewrong

@badnewsmouse

I tagged 3,453 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#sailor queuepiter - 878 posts

#awesome fanart - 869 posts

#fanart - 866 posts

#nev reads 7 seeds - 199 posts

#nev watches the demon girl next door - 178 posts

#nev watches the aquatope on white sand - 178 posts

#nev reads girl genius - 157 posts

#gifs - 150 posts

#art - 132 posts

#nev watches glitch techs - 128 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#it's especially funny with better call saul in comparison because it takes jimmy a lot longer and he tries to hold himself back so much more

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

one thing I think is underrated about FMA is that while May’s search for the perfect shoujo love interest, is while it is played a bit for laughs, it’s not like “her quest is stupid and she’ll never find a guy like that! girls and their stupid romantic fantasies!.”

 No it’s that she’ll absolutely find a guy like that! and it’s Al. Ed isn’t remotely qualified, but Al is Fully Qualified to the be the Perfect Wholesome Shoujo Love Interest, May zeroed in on that immediately,and she was fuckin’ right and got what she wanted. She found herself a guy who’s gallant (yet troubled! They’re a bit starcrossed!), pets and kidnaps stray cats and believes firmly in being a gentleman. Arakawa was like “yeah one of my main characters is an ideal shoujo love interest. I want to stress that”. May isn’t ultimately punished for having a shoujo romance mindset in a shonen manga, she’s rewarded and Arakawa forces the reader to realize one of their leads would be pretty cute love interest in a manga aimed towards girls. I enjoy that. Delightful.

(It also forces readers, if they care to think about it, to realize Al has a pretty romance oriented mindset too, that the gag comics don’t come out of nothing. Because of all the other stuff that’s going on and the neverending horror of his life, it’s limited to little asides like “man i wanted to find a gf before I died :/” and stuff like that, but he would love to be in a shoujo romance too. He’s there already, he just got fucking sidetracked by all this other nonsense. That’s what I’m thinking is missing from the “Al was supposed to be the mc”. He is! But he’s not a shounen mc who got derailed. No, in Al’s world he’s the lead guy in a shoujo who got derailed, goddammit).

1,493 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

#4

Gundam having a girl react to this line by calmly saying “yeah we all knew it would be tight get over it” rather than getting flustered and angry and in denial over the horror of being flat chested...this show truly is breaking barriers in anime.

2,201 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#3

See the full post

2,866 notes - Posted August 17, 2022

#2

Rewatching FMA also reminds me like, what a failure it is that My Hero Academia had that episode where Deku realized the huge emotional strain that him hurting himself  and not including her in his decisions has put on his Mom and resolves to do better, but as far as I can tell the narrative completely,,, fuckin’ forgets that?

When the same basic thing happens in FMA, as far as Ed and Winry go, Ed NEVER FORGETS IT. “I will not do things that hurt Winry, and when I don’t value myself or communicate it hurts her” never stops being a thing in Ed’s mind. He still sometimes acts recklessly but then literally thinks “I fucked up better fix this I promised not to make my girlfriend cry” She is genuinely always in his thoughts.

like other shonen action manga try to replicate this but don’t do the followthrough. It’s just a one episode thing and then it’s like BYE CIVILIAN FEMALE CHARACTER BACK TO THE SHELF WE’LL NEVER THINK ABOUT YOUR NEEDS OR THE EMOTIONAL LABOR YOU DO AGAIN but Winry’s needs and the moral of valuing her emotional labor and getting her up to date on what’s happening are present throughout the whole narrative. She’s not an action hero yet she has an arc?? She’s important? this STILL is never present in all the shonen I’ve seen that have come out since, like somehow arakawa still stands out for grasping this simple concept, we haven’t gotten past this yet.

Can other shonen action manga learn about follow through please.

Edit: Did an entire article about this! Here it is!

2,977 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Love how Loid is like ‘my wife, a supposedly average woman, is demonstrably better and stronger than me, a top spy who trained to take out multiple people at once, in hand to hand combat, and in our briefest encounter where she was drunk, I was sure she was going to kill me, thank god she passed out” and then continued on his merry way without suspecting a thing, like what were his thoughts??? “Guess she really learned a lot in that self defense class she said she took! Impressive as always, Yor”???

3,043 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[polyhexian]

So a few years ago me and Al decided to stop double buying, so if he got a robot I wouldn't also buy it, and we've been meaning to fully consolidate our collections so that we pick what we are keeping and selling from doubles but we don't live together right now (for reasons) so it's not been a priority. Al tho doesn't actually care about displaying his whole collection and only puts up a display that rotates between a few at a time, while I like to have everything out, so I'm planning on buying myself a few new bookcases for my birthday this month to have more room for women. We decided once I have the shelves we will have a fun robot day at his house and go through all the bins to collect all of his girls (and mark on the spreadsheet of course which ones are "his" and which are "mine" tho we just borrow each other's robots all the time) and take them all back to put on my shelf until he wants to borrow them back to display, but they're basically in storage on my shelf. But like. Jsyk. When that happens. My girl collection is going to fucking skyrocket. It's going to get so fucked up. There are so many girls I haven't bought because Al already had them. He pre-ordered the ENTIRE titans return line. I didn't buy any titans return figures because Al already had them. The wfc girls? Most of the cyberverse girls? Several beast wars toys, generations, third parties, a ton of stuff. If I had to guess, it will probably be like. 30-50 new ladies for the shelf. Cannot wait to take pictures of the upgraded shelf for y'all.

I had a silly pipe dream at one point of releasing a collectors guide to girl transformers, but I'm terrible at doing layout and stuff like that, but I like toy photography at least.

[mywritingonlyfans]

i like the idea of thomas for the dad/christmas fic 🥺

heeey!!! thanks for comment on it again!!! once again, i'm sorry for not writing that one with the person 'we' mentioned first😅 hope u like it!

-> dad!thomas raggi x reader

prompt: in which, dad!thomas is bit late for xmas to see his little girl! bonus. he teaching his little girl how to play the guitar!

warnings: none, just the good stuff today!! oh, we actually talk more about the 'finals' holiday than xmas itself on here so i hope it doesnt be too awkward for people who don't celebrate it.

-------------------++++----------------

You closed the fairytale book, putting it in its place on the shelf, and then tidied the blanket to cover Alice better. One of her arms was on her new guitar, which Santa Claus had left for her at Thomas's mother’s house; and by Santa you meant Thomas. She was so happy at the moment that you couldn't wait to show him the video. 

 Despise this, the smile on her face hadn't lasted long, you didn't know if everyone could see that she looked sad or if it was something maternal that warned you about it. She was asleep, and even though you could tell she was heartbroken, her long eyelashes rested under the freckles of her chubby face; appearing to be all agitated - she had not cried, but you knew she had held back her tears while you put her to sleep. You didn't blame her, you missed him, too. 

 You hugged your torso, wanting to stay there with her, you didn't feel like going to sleep knowing that he wasn’t home for Christmas. When you looked at her again, with her sad little face, you suddenly felt bad for not thinking about letting her sleep with you; since she liked it when you let her stay in Thomas’s side of the bed when he wasn’t around.

“I love you, angel,” you whispered, brushing her hair away from her face and placing a kiss on the prominent freckles on her nose. She mumbled something you couldn't understand, and smiling silly at your girl, you took her purrs as your cue to make your way to the kicthen.

You hummed one of Thomas’s band songs to yourself after you checked that there was no messages or new call on it. He promised he would at least contact you, and as long as you are together he never was one to broke his promises; so what you could do was wait. 

 It was the first Christmas after you had Alice that he hadn't been able to come back home on time. And as much as you told him that you understood and that everything would be fine, which was true, you couldn't deny how much you missed him.

You kept the leftovers Alice had begged her grandmother to give her on the frigde, remembering how she had planned on eating it with Thomas when he got home. Glad pleased, you could imagine how happy he’d be that she thought about doing it for him. Just when your mind was ready to get lost in a scenario where Thomas would be home for the Holidays, the vibrations of your phone interrupted you.

“Hey, babe. Merry Christmas!” You said excitedly. It was him, he wouln’t forget of you. It was late at night and you had no idea what time it was for him, but still he called. 

“Merry Christmas, babe,” He said in a slurred, almost inaudible voice. He looked a bit sapped and busy.

“It's not a good time, right? I can call you later if you can’t speak right now or are feeling too tired,”

“Nah, it’s fine,” He assured, a bit breathless, getting clearer over the phone. “How was your day? How’s Alice? God, I missed you,”

“It was good,” you sighed, thinking about being cheeky and adding that it would have been better with him, yet you were afraid that it might make him feel worse. “Alice is fine too. She loved the guitar, you will love to see it. I filmed everything, she didn’t stop jumping with it in her arms, telling your parents how it was just like the one his dad have. She misses you so much, Thommy, and I think she’s learning how to deal with it.”

“She’s learning...” he repeated. “I wish she didn't need to learn to deal with me being away from her,”

“Don’t say that, I made a bad choice of words, you know she loves you and she loves even more the way you love her extra when you’re back. She understands, Thomas,”

“She’s 5 years old, Y/N,”

You let the silence fill the chasm between you. You felt how sad he was, he had been away for a long time because of the turns before, still he always managed to return for the special dates - just as he had promised when Alice was born - but this time, well, this time it wasn’t possible.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured and you visualized in your head his eyebrows furrowing as his hand ran agonizingly through his hair, just as he always do when he‘s feeling in low spirits. “You’re right. I should be focusing on the good things, soon I’ll be home, I’m gonna teach her to play the guitar, show her all my love and be the best dad in the world,”

You laughed at his abrupt change in mood mixed with a hint of himself. “I know you will, babe,”

“I’m gonna be the best boyfriend too,” he would give continuity to his words when a loud noise of something falling stopped him abruptly.

“What was it?” You asked. You made it clear that you were suspicious, and by his nervous laugh he knew that. After all, what would he say about the noise that seemed to have come from the room next to where you were? “Oh my god, Thomas, that can’t be you.”

He didn't even need to answer, the sound of your steps going on his way was enough for him to know that you knew he was there, making him curse himself for being so clumsy. And just like in a flash, you were in his arms. He dropped his bag on the floor, giving you al of his attention as he squeezed your shape to his body.

“You’re here,” you bured your face on his chest, letting the feeling of comfort fill your nostrils, and then soul. “You’re really here.” You added in a breathless sigh.

Relief taking over his body as you snuggled into his frame, he grinned, “I promised that I would try my best to be with you all the special dates, didn't I?” He asked, holding your face so he could look at you properly. “Are you crying?”

You nodded at his soft voice. “I’m sorry,”

He laughed, a nasal sound that you missed so much. “It’s ok, 5 months is a long time,” He said, tracing kisses across your face. “I promise I’m gonna love you extra now.”

——————-

It was already possible to see the sun rissing outside, yet you refused to close your eyes and lose any moment with Thomas.

You rested your head on the pillow, waiting for him and thinking of how lucky you were that he managed to catch a last minute flight to spend the New Year at home. He was scheduled to return only after the first day of the year, somehow things would have worked out better than expected and he managed to get back sooner.

“She looks like an angel sleeping so calmly.” He spoke, lying beside you under the covers.

“I thought you were going to wake her up, she'll go crazy when she sees you.”

“I know,” He smiled, proud of himself. He knew she was the definition of daddy’s little girl. “I will wait until she wakes up. I'm dying to fill her with kisses and hugs.”

Still with his charming teeth and cute dimples on display, he pulled you to his chest, trying to wrap you in the blanket next to him. “She loves you. She doesn't care about the time you spend away, as long as you come back to her.” You nuzzled into his neck, squeezing him tighter as you said that. It was likely that this would happen more often, letting Thomas blame himself for that wouldn’t do him any good.

He bobbed, kissing your forehead, enlacing you with the same intensity. “I know, babe,”

“How was turn?” You asked, looking at him, making sure that he was fine. He was thoughtful, but it wasn’t the end of the world.

He told you about his gigs around the globe and you were happy feeling his body soften on your arms. His voice almost lulled you to sleep, but you were sure you would never tire of hearing him talk about what he loves. You showed him the video of Alice receiving the guitar, seeing his eyes fill with water after she said that she‘d be just like her father made your chest almost explode with love. In the best possible way, of course.

“You can sleep if you want, babe.”

“No, I want to spend more time with you.”

“I’m here, I am not intending to go anywhere.” He patted your hair, rubbing his nose through your hairline, and the last thing you remembered was feeling his lips on your temple.

When you opened your eyes again, he was no longer there. You rubbed your eyes tight, trying to adjust to the light, wondering if there was any possibility that it might have been a dream, but then a sweet chuckle brought you back to reality.

Alice was standing in front of you, with the guitar resting awkwardly on her shoulders. Her eyes went from you to Thomas, as if asking him if everything was all right. You smirked lightly at her features that looked the same as Thomas's.

She started playing something, which looked incredibly bad, Thomas wrinkled his nose in an attempt not to laugh so as not to discourage her. He should have spent a lot of time helping her, and she looked like she was trying. Her lips was between her teeth as she concentrated to play her less than a minute of song was so cute that as much as you didn't understand a thing, you couldn’t help but feel proud of her.

“It’s Vent'anni,” Thomas mouthed, waving his hand in a way that would get your attention but not hers. “It’s Vent'anni.”

“Oh my god!” You opened your arms for her as she finished playing, watching you with her excited eyes. “It’s Vent'anni.”

She grinned from ear to ear, handing Thomas the guitar, and then jumping into your arms.

“Did you like this?” She asked happily, making ‘this’ sound like ‘dis’. “It’s not perfect but I’ll get better, right dad?”

“Yes, better than Damiano trying to play It!" Thomas confirmed, stroking her back as he approached you. “Good mornin’, love.” he kissed the top of your head.

“I love you,” you kissed his cheek, wishing he could feel how much you love him. “And I love you too, little one,” you mumbled, pinching Alice’s nose, which eyes was stuck on the two of you.

She laughed, her gaze still on you and Thomas. She looked like a completely different person from the night before.

“Dad said you look cute when you're tired.”

You knew that you looked tired, the day before wasn’t the best and you had barely slept. You bit the inside of your cheek, looking at Thomas who had a silly smile playing on his lips and felt your cheeks get hotter. The reason you still felt that way when he complimented you was a mystery, you liked it anyway.

“You are a gossip little thing,” Thomas joked, poking at her sides.

“No, I’m not.” She laughed, trying to run away from him flawlessly, letting him hug her as she recovered her breath.

“I love you too, both of you,” she pointed a finger at both of you. Thomas's smile was priceless, you could live in there forever. “but can we play more guitar now, please?”

You agreed and Thomas got up to sit upright, putting her between his legs. He looked at you, his face still radiant, you could easily imagine him talking about you with Alice - just like you did talk about him with her as well. He positioned her tiny hands on the guitar, guiding then with his own fingers. His gentle, patient voice teaching her things that both knew she would soon forget and he would have to repeat it all over again - and you knew Thomas would do it without a problem - was lovely to watch. Her head was resting on his chest and whenever she hit a note and heard Thomas praising her, she would turn to you and say "see mom, I did it.” And you swear that you couldn't be happier to have found the meaning of the word home in two of your favorite people in the world.

[issela-santina]

a Filipino girl's random thoughts re the Josh dela Cruz era of Blue's Clues, so far

NOTE: I will continually come back to edit this post because if I just reblog this to enter new thoughts, you won't get the whole thing.

Josh is brown as heck and whenever I look at it, he puts Filipino mass media networks to shame. We're used to seeing Western-pretty light-skinned people more often than not; if you're Filipino and you have one white parent and glowed up abroad, Filipinos would flock to you easily. Josh was Dubai-born and grew up in NJ yeah but still, seeing a brown-skinned, full-blooded Filipino on that screen, especially getting to know that Steve, Angela, &al picked Josh for his energy instead of his race, was refreshing to say the least.

Josh came in and told everyone at his audition that he's 5'10" (sorry @ everyone who was misinformed that he was 5'5"). In case you're curious, our word for describing tall people is "matangkad". I'm 5'1" so in my POV, matangkad si Steve. Mas matangkad si Josh. Pinakamatangkad si Joe. You get the idea.

I asked about the pineapple bibingka when resident lola/granny Carolyn Fe posted about her BC&Y! rep on FB's Subtle Asian Traits group. The responses were sparse but they have admitted they like their bibingka with mango or peach as well. It's not the first time I've heard of fruit bibingka since at least in fiction there's Deuce Bigalow's white dad who admitted that he loved the Filipino mom's raspberry bibingka. The reason I'm curious is because where I live, bibingka toppings are savory like salted egg or cheese. Moreover, I'm used to watching people bake it in clay pots over a fire around Christmastime. Masarap talaga, promise.

WHEN JOE SAID YUM OVER THAT BIBINGKA PRESENT MY BRAIN CHEMICALS EXPLODED. THAT'S IT. THAT'S WHY MY BLOG HAS BEEN FLOODED WITH DONOVAN PATTON MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

Carolyn greeted me on my 25th this year on Twitter with a link to the bilingual Happy Birthday video and it's the best thing that happened on that day. She might also influence my singing. Who knows. But I want to cover her when I have the energy. (Check out Carolyn Fe Blues Collective!!)

The way Josh looks, he looks like the grown-up version of a children's book character I used to pick off a university press or book fair shelf and then secretly read. I forgot the author(s) or the character's first name but the character's last name was Dacanay. He lived a provincial/small-town life somewhere in Pangasinan(?) and dreamed not high, but deeply.

Josh's superpower is making a guitar suddenly appear whenEVER he needs it. Fully strung and well-tuned. As a musician, sana all.

Josh-wolf from the Halloween specials haunts me so much because we have the aswang, aka this giant snowballed convolution of concepts all of which cannot just be encompassed by translations like werewolf or vampire. Fan fiction based on this would kill me.

Blue's looks in the original were nice but the reboot looks are my kind of cute. She's fuzzy. I could pet her and Magenta all day.

Steve's episodes have been the ones I look out for with the most hype. Not only his appearances as a character but also when he writes, directs, and produces. I kinda want one where he leaves clues himself.

I read from an interview with Josh that Joe/Donovan is writing and directing BC&Y! stuff too, and I'm anticipating what he brings to the table in that department. After trolling us into playing Joe's Clues and making us guess a mystery present, I think he'd make a wicked gamemaster.

Joe and Josh need to have a skidoo adventure together. Please.

Considering that someone tweeted about Blue's Clues crossing into gothic horror territory after introducing Joe (who also eventually embraced his inner kidcore goth by wearing purple as standard), the tradition continues with Josh: dressing up as a beholder at one point like the previous two hosts and as a wolf multiple times, able to conjure an instrument out of nowhere, and of course, his skidoos emit spirals like it's happening in a Junji Itō storyworld.

Steve and Joe wear their colors brighter now compared to their original series wardrobes. Josh is as blue as the early morning twilight sky.

There's a ghost in the living room because the resident who, as a child, summoned an unworldly hound out of a book one cold winter's night had said so. What else can Steve do?

It's really nice that retail workers get some representation with Joe but my gosh having a tall hot pallid middle-aged kidcore goth with cheekbones that can cut through glass suddenly appear every few episodes to give a side quest makes me weak. I would adjust my spending habits just to see him more often. (Editing to realize that there's been a song written of this kind of sentiment back in 1993.)

Trader Joe's. HAS NO ONE NOTICED—

Headcanons: Marlee goes to Joe's present store to buy gifts on occasions. Joe barely has time to himself because of the shifts but when he does give himself a break he wants to sit in the library and read. Steve frequents a small restaurant that Miranda runs; after a long day at work the two sometimes take the opportunity to talk about life and their dogs.

I'm hoping more cultural holidays get a deep dive the way Chanukah got it with “Festival of Lights”. Start with Kwanzaa since I remember it getting touched upon back in the old series.

When did I crush hardest on Josh? The moment he operatically got an email.

He hears a strange whirring sound, and proceed to find clothes strewn all over the bedroom. Song Man realizes that he forgot that he's doing the laundry. After playing Blue's Clues. He hears a strange whirring sound.

Josh's handy dandy notebook is a writer's/artist's wildest dream. It's as thick as a fricking novella. And the smartphone on the back cover? Warms your pages. I don't know if you like that but I do. Having Steve and Joe on speed dial is a bonus.

Can't say if this era's takes on the old tunes are better because the beat breaking the flow before the last words of the line gives those last words more emphasis: a redeeming factor since the flow is jagged and syncopated compared to the old version which more easily follows the beat. Yes I am a nerd.

„Isang Araw Kasama Si Plum“ („Un Día con Plum“ pero Tagalog imbes na Español)? Pwede ba?

The amount of eye bag on the boys but especially Josh is a mood in and of itself.

DONOVAN PATTON × CAROLYN FE COLLAB WHEN?

“I'd go anywhere with you!” Josh, I'm a homebody, pero sige.

So does Blue have her own handy dandy notebook or does she borrow it from Josh just for the song?

I'm kinda here for the fact that this school canonically managed to employ 2 different teachers named Marigold.

“My favorite part of school is snack time.” BRUH.

Drinking game: take a sip for every rainbow you see in this franchise.

[ratcourtjester]

What the hell do you even get rich people for Valentine's Day? Hal thought turning the little stuffed bear in his hand. The eyes were off center and it was holding a bright red heart that had the phrase 'I love you BEARY much' embroidered on it. Definitely not. He shook his head and put the poor thing back on the shelf before he decided to do it the favor of putting it out of its misery. He wished someone would have the courtesy of putting him put of his already. The store was packed with last minute shoppers and all the good stuff had been picked over already. Hal wouldn't of bothered if his boyfriend hadn't invited him out to dinner that night. A freaking Valentine's Day dinner. What was this, high school???

...Okay that felt a little harsh. Honestly, Hal didn't have anything against the Holiday. Free candy, quick hook-ups and half priced chocolate the next day? Honestly what wasn't to love? But he was actually in a relationship this year. And not with Carol who practically expected him to screw up on Valentine's Day (harsh but not exactly unwarranted) but with the goddamn Batman. To be fair, he probably also figured Hal was going to screw it up. He still wasn't 100% sure how this had all happened, really it was a blur of arguments, very close calls and some absolutely fantastic sex and then boom! He was meeting the guy's kids (officially) and they were living together (unofficially). 

It hadn't been all bad actually. Bruce was just as difficult as one could imagine when dating a bat-themed vigilante but if the man had Hal this stressed out about a commercial Holiday as nauseating as Valentine's Day than it was pretty safe to say Hal lov-

Lo-

...had strong feelings for him. After all, Bruce wasn't Batman all the time, though one would be hard pressed to get the billionaire to admit that. He was caring and tender when he felt safe enough to be. And alright he had a decent sense of humor. And he was fucking gorgeous to boot. And rich. Very, very rich. That had never really been a factor in what Hal found attractive in people but it certainly didn't hurt. It also, apparently, limited options when it came to getting them gifts.

He sighed looking at his cart filled only by two five pound bags of mixed candy and relented, taking the bear back off the shelf and tossing it in. Cass would like it at least.

-----------------

Two hours later, Hal was no closer to figuring out what the hell to get Bruce and was running dangerously close to being late, the chances of him getting laid that night getting slimmer and slimmer with every tick of the clock. He ran his fingers through his hair, gelling it back and looked himself over in the mirror, inspecting his face to make sure he hadn't missed any spots shaving. 

"Not bad, Jordan, not bad at all…" He hummed to his well dressed reflection. He wore a deep red button up and his nicest dress pants. Red wasn't normally his color but he figured he might as well be festive. Even if he didn't have anything to give. He sighed again deciding the flowers he had grabbed were going to have to do as put his cufflinks on. They had been his father's and he only really pulled them out for special occasions. He paused. In fact, the last time he had worn them was at Jim's wedding. It took him a second to let that sink in. As much as he had been telling himself it was just a date, he had almost subconsciously grabbed something he hadn't worn in almost a decade. Maybe this was more important to him than he let on. He looked over to the roses taunting him and groaned.

He was such a bad boyfriend. 

-----------------

Surprisingly, Hal arrived in Gotham just in time. Despite spending most of his off time in the Manor these days, he had opted to go back to his apartment when he got back on Earth just before he got the dinner invitation. If it bothered Bruce, he hadn't mentioned it in the few days in between. Letting the construct that made his suit up drop he landed within walking distance (but out of sight of prying eyes) of the manor and made the rest of the treck on foot. Alfred answered the door with a look that practically demanded to know why he even bothered knocking anymore at this point which he just answered with a grin.

"Hey Al, happy Valentine's Day." He said, fishing the tulip bulb from the bag of goodies he had brought the family. He figured the butler would enjoy the addition to his garden. 

"To you as well, Master Jordan." He took the plant with a small thank you. "Master Wayne will be down in a moment he's taking a call in-"

"Hal's here!" A shout from the staircase interrupted the family butler and him and Hal looked over just in time to watch the oldest launch himself over the railing and land with all the grace of an acrobatic cat before bounding over and enveloping Hal in a hug.

" Master Grayson ." Alfred hissed looking thoroughly unimpressed with his actions. Dick grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he let the older man go. 

"Sorry Alf, guess I just missed him."

"You saw him a week ago." Duke snorted coming out of the den but gave Hal a grin anyway.

"Are these for us?" Steph grinned, suddenly at Hal's side and going through the plastic bag as Alfred rolled his eyes and took his duffle bag for him. She pulled out the little monstrosity of a bear and her eyes lit up. "Oh, I love this guy. He for B?" She teased.

"For your girlfriend actually. Figured she'd like him more." He said, snorting as Cass took the little bear from the blond and gave him a small smile. "You're welcome, kid."

It wasn't long before the rest of the little bats tore into the bags of candy he had brought with the exception of Jason, who was out with Roy, and Dick, who left for his own date with Wally shortly after greeting Hal, and ran off. It was another ten minutes before Bruce came down, looking slightly irritated. However the look softened once his eyes landed on Hal. "You look nice." He commented.

"You look pissed." Hal countered and got an eye roll in return.

"Nothing you did." Bruce said, placing a hand on his hip and a kiss on his cheek, taking the offered flowers before pulling away smirking. "For once anyway."

"Hilarious, Spooky." He snorted and looked the other man over. He looked fantastic, no surprise, wearing a suit by some designer he definitely couldn't pronounce the name of. God this man was out of his league. He was ushered out with mentions of a reservation and a shout from Tim to 'have him home by midnight' soon after.

---------------------

In the months since dating Bruce Freaking Wayne, Hal had been treated to restaurants where he was sure the food cost more than his rent. Tonight was no different. Marble floors, molded walls and food that he couldn’t pronounce with his high-school level French, no expense was sparred. Hal still wasn't sure if these restaurants made him feel out of place or not but it definitely didn't make him feel any better about not getting B anything for the holiday. Spooky didn't have to be the world's greatest detective to pick up something was wrong.

"We can go somewhere else." He offered, sipping at the water the waiter had brought him. Hal shook his head.

"Its not that." He said and sighed when Bruce raised an eyebrow, clearly wanting him to continue. "I got you flowers."

"Yes and they were lovely." 

"No. I only got you flowers." Hal said in frustration. Whether he was frustrated with himself or Bruce's knack for being intentionally obtuse. "Not even from a real flower shop. I got them from the store because I didn't know what the hell else to get you. Because what do you get a billionaire? You could just buy anything you wanted-"

"Hal-"

"And its not like I could have taken you out somewhere instead anyway. Can you imagine the headlines in the gossip rags if you were caught slumming it with me somewhere-"

" Hal ," Bruce said a little firmer this time, stopping Hal from putting his foot in his mouth any further. "I didn't realize how much my financial status bothered you." And that tone was much too close to Batman for Hal's liking.

"It doesn't." Hal said firmly, trying his best to be reassuring. "I just...I didn't get you anything." And Bruce stared at him, calculating, forming his next plan of action. That look made Hal squirm in away that should of been uncomfortable. Especially since he just knew that was the look he had while wearing the cowl. Finally he spoke.

"You did. You got me flowers and you came here with me. I only asked for one of those things." And weirdly enough, that made Hal relax. The weight of expectation lifted from his shoulders. "Besides," Bruce continued, smirking over his glass. Hal raised an eyebrow and the smirk widened knowing he had the pilot's attention. "You can make it up to me on the way home."

Hal choked on his wine.

[upside-down-uni]

Hey! Idk if this is too much t9 ask, but could you rec me 2, 19, 20, 45, 55, 63, 69, 71, 72, 75, 86, 104, 111, 116, 131? sorry if it’s a lot but thanks in advance if u can rec me some! :)

Hi, you're in luck! I have an essay to procrastinate on and this ask is just the right thing to distract me! Here you go, I hope you'll find something that you like:

2. a book with a blue cover

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. When i read it for the first time I was just on the brink of going to uni, still figuring out what I even wanted to study and this book just wrapped me in a warm blanket and said "it's going to be okay". I love the main characters Frances and Aled, their arcs and especially the really nice and quiet queer rep in this book.

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

The Knife Of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. When I start a book I generally have the feeling that I can't put it away until I have finished it. With The Knife Of Never Letting Go my problem was that I did want to read it but it didn't fit my mood, so I couldn't bring myself to read it but also beat myself up about not reading it until I put it back onto my shelf. So, I basically pushed myself into a reading slump over this book.

21. a book with a red cover

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers. I enjoyed this book so much but probably not for the reasons most people would think I enjoyed it? The wlw romance was definitely nice and I really liked them being dramatic but also kind of mundane? What really got me though was the strong theme of found family of young adults and queer friendships, that really yanked the yearning hours wide fucking open for me. (I also liked that in the end the book wasn't as much about romance as it was about finding yourself after surrendering yourself to academia for ages and working through your issues.)

45. a book featuring the friends to lovers trope

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. I adore this book. It's so long and there's so much incredible world building and history in it that it made reading an untter delight! Coming in it was a bit hard to acclimate to the slow paste but after a while I just settled in and enjoyed the ride. It's a breathtaking story in a breathtaking universe and afaik there's a second part coming!

55. a book with a satisfying ending

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi. Yolk doesn't really have an ending in the sense of a "happily ever after" but I really loved where the author chose to leave the characters and how she did it. The book is quite different from what I usually read, tonewise, but especially that ending made me leave the book with a warm feeling. (also the cover is yellow and really really gorgeous)

63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud

I would've reccd Red White and Royal Blue but judging by your url you've read that already...sooooo, it's Snapdragon by Kat Leyh! Super cute graphic novel, with a weird and adorable storyline and such lovable characters!

69. your favorite mythological retelling

I haven't read a mythological retelling in ages, so basic Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan will have to do.

71. your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

now that's just rude how am I supposed to choose?? I'll say it's Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire and Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and Loveless by Alice Oseman. I feel very strongly and very distinctly about all of them, if you can get your hands on them my only comment is READ. (and maybe make sure you're okay with gothic sci-fi horror for Gideon The Ninth)

72. a book with a gorgeous cover

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. It's her adult gothic horror debut after The Miseducation of Cameron Post and not only is the hardcover just stunning in black and red, it also got illustrations inside!! (And all teh women are queer and it's deliciously fucked up!)

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope

I think the closest I can come to that is The Lady's Guide To Piracy and Petticoats by Mackenzi Lee. The main character has to unlearn a bunch of stuff really fast if she wants to get along with the only other people that will help her. We have road trips in the 16th century, kidnapping and asshole husbands to be, piracy of course and friendship!

86. a book with an insane plot twist

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand. Sawkill Girls was my first touch with horror and I have to say I have no idea whether there was heavy foreshadowing. I think I remember thinking that there was something else to come but when the shit hit the fan I just sat there with big questionmarks over my head because I had read the book in a frenzy in one evening and truly did NOT anticipate it. As someone who did not read horror or thriller before this I have to say I was already insanely confused and disgusted by a bunch of stuff that went down. But then...uh. the thing happened and I was just lost. (In a good way though.)

104. a fluffy sweet read

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann. It's been a while ever since I read it but it's essentially a cute summer story about Alice who's a disaster bisexual when she sees people she finds cute. Which is a little inconvenient because the new guy at her job is really, really, really extremely cute and she ceases to function around him. There's best friend drama, eating pizza iirc and figuring shit out!

111. a book writing a book

I assume it's either "a book about writing a book" or I am literally supposed to rec a book that is writing a book...I'm going to rec a book that is about books! (because I can.) It's The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury and it follows a young woman called Juliette wo gets sucked into an old bookseller's world of life saving, life changing books. A really quiet, really cute book.

116. a book with multiple povs

the Reckless books by Cornelia Funke! Simply divine stroytelling, a vibrant world and amazing characters! I have to say that I only know the German original so I don't know what the English translation might be like.

131. recommend any book you like

um. so knife gang members and people who follow my main, you'll once again be subjected to me being a mess because of lesbian necromancers in space! I've mentioned it before, it lives in my head rent free, it is the one, the only Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! It's an insane sci-fi horror fantasy blend where Gideon has to play cavalier to Reverend Daughter Harrowhark I-love-being- an-absolute-pain-in-the-ass-to-Gideon Nonagesimus to help her become an uber-necromancer (like Harrow needs motivation to become even more of a nerd and shockingly good at necromancy) for the Necrolord Prime/Undying Emperor. There's BEAUTIFUL WRITING sprinkled with MEMES when you least expect it. There is incredible toxic codependency and repression. There's MURDER. There's fancy necromancy theorems and DUELS. There's enemies to begrudging allies to ??? Staple your socks to your feet or this book will blow them clean off!

[yes-feratu]

Do you have any headcanons for usuk omega verse…and nesting? I think Alfred’s jacket would be the first item Arthur would steal for his scent. In fact I think Alfred would have two jackets that he wears for this purpose.

I also think Arthur would always be a little oblivious to what he is doing and not realize the nesting instinct is happening, but Alfred does right away because he finds it amusing and also his most worn clothes go missing right away.

Meanwhile Arthur finds some way or excuse to get the clothes, like he might remember a hole that needs to be sewn so he takes it and doesn’t put it back. He’ll get a random urge to read a book but more comfortably and start fluffing up pillows and stuff, tidying up certain areas. He’s be so invested in tidying up and running around that he’s not aware of what he’s really doing meanwhile Alfred is sitting nearby trying to conceal and smirk and…low key excitement because he knows his omega is going to be begging for it in the coming days. But now he’s totally oblivious.

Anyways I didn’t mean to say all that but id like to know your take on nesting.

THIS IS SO CUTE ANON 😭😭🥺💗

to be honest i never really had any specific nesting hcs? i kinda go w the hc that homes tend to be built w an specific nesting room, so like. when the omegas gonna go into heat, they know immediately bc they'll be drawn to go to the nest room. but AHHH going off of this i think its so adorable 🥺

i rly like the idea that arthur isnt like. always so in tune w his omega instincts? like he's a little oblivious to the things that are just classic omega behavior and so he'll get clingy and nuzzle into alfred and he doesn't realize that hes asking to be comforted and specifically scented in that moment.

if hes oblivious to the nesting instinct that kicks in, i think itd be cute for alfred to watch him gathering things for his nest and he's like yep. i know what this means. so he'll just silently start going to the linen closet and pulling out the blankets and pillows from the very top shelf and start holding them out for arthur grab and arrange, and he'll help to fluff them out and stuff. all the while arthur isn't really aware of what he's doing, he's so caught up in his handiwork and "alfred that does not go there" that by the time the day is done and hes snuggled up next to al in the completed nest he's like. oh.

I think Alfred's rly good at picking up Arthur's scent changes, like its a Jones family thing to have a pretty sharp nose so he can smell how he's getting slightly sweeter in the coming days, so he just goes along w it and waits till Arthur realizes himself that his body's getting everything ready for a heat to come soon.

also the image of arthur's nesting instinct kicking in while al's at work and him coming home to find arthur curled up in his jacket on the nest, or arthur drowning in that one specific shirt of alfreds that he always wears in the days leading up to his heat cause of how soft it is and how much it reminds him of al. alfred just. WAH loves him sm 🥺

[wintrcaptn]

It’s You Ch 2 | Chris Evans 🖤

Summary : moving to a new place, not knowing a single person, wasn’t what you had in mind. But wanting a fresh start was the main goal. Little did you know, you were now living next door to none other than Chris Evans.

A/N : I am glad you all enjoyed the first part! It really means the world to me! I don’t know where Chris lives or if he even has nearby neighbors but it’s called fan fiction for a reason. Lol. Please don’t be afraid to leave feedback! Good or bad!

Also, sorry if there are errors. I’m writing on my phone and I’m too lazy to proof read my stuff 😩 I do this to myself. Anyways, ENJOY!

Part One

It’s been months since you moved into your new house, and thingns we’re finally coming together, just the way you wanted it.

Moving to Boston was something you were nervous but also excited for. You were tired of your hometown, tired of seeing the same faces and being reminded of past loves who only ended up hurting you.

So you wanted to start a new chapter in your life. Find passion in yourself again and just be happy with being alone. Something you haven’t felt in such a long time.

But then Chris came along.

As hard as you tried to focus on your life, you couldn’t help but constantly think about him. Think about the way he licks his finger after playing with the rim of his cup when he comes over for coffee on your days off. Or about the way he sings off key to Disney songs when you both get drunk and have a marathon at his place.

Your feelings were growing deeper and deeper and it was beginning to scare you. But of course, your mind would start to work overtime, and you would begin to overthink everything. Wondering why he would waste his time with someone like you when he could literally have any one else. Maybe because you were there? Living next door, made it convenient for him?

Whatever it was, you tried to enjoy it either way. Before it was over.

Chris liked spending his time with you.

Sure, he thought you were attractive but actually getting to know you, made you even more attractive.

Being with you wasn’t hard. It wasn’t scripted or felt forced.

It was as if he had known you all his life.

Then out of nowhere, one day when he was over, spending a casual Saturday at your house, he finally realized this was more than just platonic....

“Okay, so it’s my turn to cook for you!” You exclaimed, walking over to your kitchen.

Chris followed in pursuit, watching you with a soft smile on his lips.

“I don’t think I want to die tonight.” He teased.

You stopped in your steps and turned to face him, with your eyes so big, trying hard not to laugh.

“Excuse me, I’m one hell of a chef. Thank you very much.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He walked over to the sink, to wash his hands. “I’ll help—“

“Nope! I got this.”

You scrunched you’re nose at him before turning your back to him once again. That little banter was one of the things Chris loved.

Even though, it had been months of hanging out with Chris, it was still so surreal to be around him. Around the guy you had loved watching on movies, and hoped to one day meet.

Your life was a literal fan fiction, but you didn’t seem to mind.

Even though it all felt too good to be true, you wanted to bask in every moment of it.

You looked over the recipe and grabbed what you needed, except for the salt.

Chris thought it would be funny to put it on the top shelf in the cupboard every time he came over, so you had to climb up on the counter to get it.

Letting out a sigh, you looked at him and all he could do was smirk.

“I’m tired of this shit, Chris.” You chuckled. “Come over here and get the damn salt.”

His soft laugh, the one that was barely loud enough but still able to reach your ears, always made you swoon.

“Wait, are you asking me for help? Is this really happening?”

“Chris, you know damn well that if the salt was in the right place, I wouldn’t have to ask.” You muttered, pulling your hair up into a messy bun. “Now please, walk your giant ass over here and put it where it belongs.”

Chris had a rag in his hands to dry off the water from washing his hands. He tossed it over to the other side of the kitchen, before walking over to you.

Once he was by your side, he caught your attention. “You said you got it—“ he muttered as he placed his hands on either sides of your hips, forcing your breath to hitch to the back of your throat. “So get it yourself.” He whispered.

Before you knew it, your feet were off the ground, and You were now able to reach the salt. With Chris holding you up, you knew at this very moment, you were screwed.

The way his fingers curved around you, and how your body leaned against his, it was almost like torture.

You were fighting yourself from giving in. Fighting to keep your fantasies to a minimum and not let any emotion show.

Once you grabbed what you needed, he carefully put you down, not taking his hands off you. But you were so close to each other, you swore you could hear his heart beat.

His gaze held yours, making you feel like he could undress you with those eyes of his.

It was beginning to make you hot just by the thought.

You were able to snap out of it, and clear your throat, breaking the tension between you.

Chris realized he made a tricky move, something that could have made things worse.

He took a step back, to lean on the counter and control his thoughts of you.

‘Keep it together’ he repeated to himself.

“Now stop moving my shit around.” You forced out, glancing at him.

Chris nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Yes ma’am.” His voice was low.

‘God damn it. Keep it to-fucking-gether!!’

A few hours had passed. You were both laughing once again, not letting that moment from earlier ruin the night.

Things were back to normal again.

Scott decided to join the two of you, which he did almost every other weekend, even if Chris couldn’t make it.

He became someone you could trust. And that was hard for you.

“I swear Chris had no secrets with our mom. He literally ran home to tell her he lost his virginity.” Scott cackled, before taking a sip of his beer.

“I was excited!”

“Aww that’s so cute! You were such a mommy’s boy.” You teased.

“Were? He still is.”

Scott looked at his phone and couldn’t believe the time. “Shit, it’s already midnight!” He exclaimed. “I have to wake up in a few hours for my flight.”

With that, he propped up to his feet and gave both you and Chris a quick hug, before walking back to Chris’ house.

“I didn’t realize it was that late.” You yawned, walking the plates over to the sink.

“Guess you lose track when you’re having fun.” Chris said, helping you with the dishes.

You stopped and looked over at him, your eyes slightly bloodshot from exhaustion and the alcohol.

“I need to get this off my chest because it’s been killing me.” You muttered, feeling a bit delirious.

Chris cocked his brow, and focused his full attention on you. “Is everything okay?”

This was it. Word vomit. The thing you did when you had no control over yourself and acted before you thought it through.

“I’ve read fan fiction about you.” You confessed. “And I know that makes me sound like a stalker or whatever, but I promise you that I never in a million years thought I’d be living next door to you.”

Chris stood there, baffled and slightly amused as you went on.

“Yes I think you’re attractive, but I didn’t buy this house because of you. I honestly didn’t even know where you lived!!” You said. “I’ve had shitty relationships and shitty friends and—I just needed a fresh start. My job was able to transfer me out here and this was the second house I looked at and just fell in love—I promise—“

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I believe you.” He chuckled. “I have never thought of you as a stalker or creepy. Weird? Yes but that’s okay.”

You could tell he was trying to lighten up the mood.

But once the realization of what you had just said, dawned on you, you were mortified. “I can’t believe I just told you that.”

Chris belted our into laughter, as he pulled you into him. His arms curled around your waist while you laid your head on his chest.

This was the place you loved being in. Being in his arms, it felt like nothing could ever hurt you again. And it was honestly exactly what you needed.

“So—“ he drawled out. “Do you still read fan fiction about me?”

You took a step back to lock your gaze with his. “Out of all the things I said, that’s what you cling on too?”

“I’m just curious!” He chuckled. “Were they dirty stories? Or—“

“I’m NOT telling you! It’s bad enough that I embarrassed myself telling you I read anything at all!”

Chris could only laugh, clutching his hand over his chest.

You playfully swatted his arm, trying hard not to laugh with him.

“I hate you.” You said, hiding your smile. “This stays between us! If you tell anyone, I swear I will kick your ass!”

“Can you even reach my ass?”

“Are those fighting words, Evans? Because I can throw hands, real quick.”

He took a short step closer to you, his eyes looking darker than usual, with desire. He glanced down at your lips, then back up and locked his gaze with yours.

“I’d like to see you try.” He whispered.

‘Is this really happening?!’

You wanted to kiss him right there and then. To grab his collar, pull him in and taste those plump lips of his that you had been craving to taste.

But you were frozen, lost in his trance.

It wasn’t until The sound of Chris’ phone going off, you were finally able to snap out of it.

It was a text from Scott, asking where he had put the suitcase.

“I got to go.” He muttered, looking slightly bummed about having to leave. “I’ll come over tomorrow to help you with your new book case.”

You swallowed hard, and nodded. “Sounds good. Give Dodger a kiss for me.”

“Will do.” He pulled you in for a tight hug, which lingered longer than it should have. “Good night Y/N.”

Chris turned on his heels and started toward his house, leaving you speechless yet again. He always knew how to do that to you.

“Dammit Y/N.” You mumbled to yourself. “Why don’t you ever learn to keep your mouth shut.”

As Chris walked into his house, all he could think about was you. And even after blurting out everything, it didn’t seem to faze him.

“Oh damn.” Scott said, catching his brothers attention.

“What?” He asked, confused.

“Nothing, I’ll tell you when the times right. But for now, please help me find that damn suitcase! This is what I get for packing last minute!”

——

Chapter Three

[albino-whumpee]

To me, you are...

This is a heavy one so please go carefully. It deals with a lot of dubious heavy stuff like slavery and the relationship between captor and captive. And, to answer the anon who asked what Zarai saw Albus as, if more as a pet or a friend, here´s your answer.

I´m a bit behind schedule, so I´ll be posting them in the next few days. 

Taglist:  @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @giggly-evil-puppy @cowboysrappin @haro-whumps @burtlederp @neuro-whump @comfortforthepain @whumps-the-word @whole-and-apart-and-between @broken-horn @ashintheairlikesnow @rosesareviolentlyread @starnight-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @as-a-matter-of-whump  @whumpasaurus101 @grizzlie70 @twistedcaretaker

CW// box boy blanket TW, pet whump, bullying, defiant whumpee, noncon touch (non sexual), conditioning, discussion of ownership and fucky views about slavery, intimate whumper, diffuse line between caretaker and whumper, lima syndrome, self sacrifice, collars, grief and anxiety attack.

Lunch breaks were the best part of the day for the albino. He would meet up with Sasha and Tony at the food truck down the street, settle down on a bench together and order two crunchy tacos Zarai would disapprove of, saying they weren´t real tacos, but the boy would gobble them up regardless. Lunch breaks were the only times of the day he could relax, after all. Even just a bit. 

The atmosphere at the office had just started to get somewhat calmer after Zarai´s intervention. Albus’ cheek had a fading yellow bruise when he went back to the building with Sasha, talking excitedly about Sann´s progress with sign language.

“Thank you for spending the last Saturday with us” the albino said, smiling as they passed their cards over the scanner and moved to the elevator “He has been nonstop studying since then” he passed a hand to his neck, feeling the collar under his clothes “I’m starting to get worried I won´t be able to follow him someday”

 “Why´s that? We can always practice at lunch” Sasha signed perfectly after punching the buttons to their respective floors. Slowly so Albus could watch her movements perfectly. 

“I mean, yeah, but-” the boy flinched when Sasha lifted her finger and shook it in front of him. The boy sighed and put his hands up “I´m just afraid I won´t understand him” he signed even slower, mouthing the words under his breath.

“You´re doing your best, Al” she signed using the white gesture. Albus cheeks flared up remembering Sann´s words when he gave him his sign name.

The other pet had put his extended hand over his chest and then pulled away as if taking a pinch of salt. Sann had told him it was like taking a part of your heart and giving it to the other person. A sign for kindness that meant white, perfect for someone like Albus, the other boy had said smiling at him.

Sasha elbowed him back to reality “Trust yourself you can do it, ok?” she signed with a gentle gesture on her face that made him smile as they came out of the elevator and walked through a hallway to Zarai´s office “Also he learns too quickly, it´s quite scary! I couldn´t have learnt to read and write all by myself at all, so trust me. You´re doing just fine and normal” she finished signing with a pat on his back the boy winced to before patting himself. “Just try to watch your mouth when you sign and…wiggle your eyebrows more, yeah? Gotta emphasize” she said walking away.

Albus groaned as he straightened up “I still do that?” he shouted across the hallway. Sasha nodding with an apologetic face. He sighed before he signed bye to her, already turning on a corner. 

 He then took a deep breath and stepped into the large room and walked with eyes cast down to Zarai´s office, feeling too many eyes nailed on him. He just had to get used to the piercing glares and low murmurs in the air. He couldn´t make a scene again. 

 However, Albus jumped away when he felt someone get too close and heard someone laugh as he recomposed. 

 “Sorry, what´s it Jeremy?” the albino said looking at the blonde blocking his view from the other people as he stepped forward. He blinked amused when he saw Jeremy standing between him and the door.

 “Sorry, Sir. But, uh, Mr. Glass is inside the chief’s office” he whispered just low enough for both of them “Should I tell him to go, Sir?” Jeremy asked with genuine worry in his voice that warmed Albus’ heart. 

 In the last weeks, he had stood up by his side and tried to not leave him alone. That got him some side eye from other coworkers, but he didn´t seem to care and he was still as efficient as always, just slightly more tired though. Maybe he thought he didn´t realize, but he was deeply thankful to find a kind person among the cutting edges the office had turned into. 

 “Thank you for telling me, Jeremy. But I´m ok, go take your break” He said with a forced smile. Jeremy opened his mouth but closed it and stepped out of his way. He settled his hand on the handle and stepped inside to find Robert Glass with the framed photo on his hands, leaning against the desk. “Mister Glass”

 Robert´s eyes lifted up to see the albino closing the door behind him, smiling as he set down the photo back on its place. 

 “There you are. I wanted to speak with you” He said, lifting himself from the desk and walking closer to the albino. “Oh? What happened to your cheek?” he said lifting a hand to stroke him, amusing himself when the albino flinched and he had to grab his chin to force him to look at him “Hey, hey, didn´t they taught you not to move away?” Robert said, feeling the pressure he was putting on his jaw underneath his fingertips. 

 “Yes, from my owner. Not you, Mister” The albino said through gritted teeth. Robert let go with huff. Albus tried to shove down the disgust and replace it with his usual poker face. Couldn´t be too hard to force it up again. He had been doing it since he stepped out of the box after all. 

 The albino breathed in as he saw the man walk away, passing his hand through the stuff scattered around his desk. All of it lined up exactly like Zarai wanted to. 

As the albino saw his hand hover curiously around his things, Robert fixed his eyes upon another painting on the wall. 

 “That´s not what you said with Jefferson was it? I mean-”

 “You´re not here to talk about me are you, Mister?” Albus interrupted him, his chest brewing with newfound anger. “Sann is absolutely fine now, if you wondered”

 “Oh no, I came to talk about you exactly” Albus frown grew deeper, eyebrows tightening when he put his hand up. “Don´t worry, I won´t touch you. I only came to talk” he giggled, picking up the stress ball over the shelf and bouncing it on his hands side to side. 

 “You know? People think Pets aren’t people anymore. More like animals or objects” he started, stepping closer to the stiffening albino. A smile formed on his lips “I know some refer to their own pets as it, but do you know why I don’t refer to Sann or you like that?” He said in front of Albus. Lifting one arm up to trap him between the wall and himself. “Because you’re a person, of course” he giggled. Before he simply stared at him from above. Like a hawk above the trees just waiting for the perfect moment to dive for its prey. “Doing to you what you couldn’t to any other human… that’s the thrill of owning a box boy” He whispered to his ear, a freezing chill ran through his spine at the sickly sweet tone of his voice “Zarai knows that too”

 “There’s info she has been hiding from you” he began. Sweetly noticing the confusion in his face “A boxie can buy back their freedom if they pay for their contract”

 It hit him so hard, Robert was enjoying seeing his eyes widen with each word. He kept his grimace hidden and continued to explain to the dumbfounded albino.

“Of course, it is almost impossible to buy something when you’re not even allowed to be paid in most cases…unlike you” 

 Albus breathed in deep. Processing the new info and checking if it was info he should believe or not. 

 “Is that really possible? I-I-I could really…I could even-” Robert knew by the way his eyes widened that the question he had come to install on him had settled. Already knowing which words would come out of his mouth after that. 

 “However” the man interrupted him “It´s a one-time chance thing. Only one contract each” he noticed the drop of sweat going down the albino´s face as his smile widened “If I were you I would think it more thoroughly, Albie”

 —-

 After her meeting was over, Zarai walked to her office and thought it was odd people stared at her. She opened the office’s door to find Albus talking with Robert.

 The boy turned his head to see her and then back at Robert “Goodbye, Sir” he said with clenched teeth before opening the door. Zarai caught his arm before he walked away and pulled him closer.

 “What’s going on here?” She whispered.

 “Nothing really, princess” Robert interrupted their conversation. Albus closed the door with a short sigh. 

 “Then what did you come all the way here for? You should know by now you´re not welcome here” She said with fire in her eyes. Robert made his jaw work but hid it with a smile.

 “Zarai, darling, when were you going to tell him that he could buy his own liberty?” Zarai’s eyes widened slightly before she recomposed. “You let him win money, but you didn’t give him an object to spend it on. Doc Martin from Marketing would be really disappointed with you”

 “Albus, go outside and wait for me at the rooftop” she ordered the boy who quickly set off. Silence sat in the room as Albus closed the door “What are you playing, Glass?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

 The man snorted and whistled “I was being honest with him. Might want to do that more often. Do you even know what he said when I told him?” His hands shot up in a dramatizing gesture. “‘Is that really possible?’ With eyes all sparkly and hopeful! You might wanna help him understand that even if it is possible, he shouldn’t be showing that emotion” Robert kept talking but when he noticed she was quiet he talked again “Were you planning to even tell him Zarai?”

 The woman avoided his eyes, “…eventually” Robert laughed.

 “Well, would you have told Sann about it?” She exploded.

 “Don’t get confused princess. I didn’t give Sann the means to buy himself out of this. That’s all” he shut her down immediately. Robert gave her a sympathetic smile. “You are so lonely, so desperate to have someone on your side, you are forcing the only one who can’t displease you, to stay with you” Zarai inhaled hard “It’s alright though. I understand you better than anyone” he said stepping closer.

“Nobody wishes to be left alone, after all. Animals won’t help loneliness as much as a human would, so we buy pets for our broken hearts and call it love when they laugh with us” Finally Robert towered over her before talking into her ear the few words she didn’t want to hear ever “but they won’t ever be the family we lost, Zarai. No matter how much they look alike or how much they need to be cared for, they’re not Sirius, nor Jarred, Charlie or Fran”

 “He´s not a replacement, Glass. I´m not like you” she battled the tears prickling behind her eyes.

 “I know, he’s not that kind of replacement” he leaned to whisper on her ear “I know we are not playing the same game Zarai” he said stepping back as the woman’s head spun and pulsed with how hard she was clenching her teeth “You never wanted a secretary to help you. No, you never needed him to be your secretary” his lips twisted into a smile “You aren´t made of ice. You could´ve taught them just like you did with him. But you never would´ve been so patient with anyone that could leave would you?” he said enjoying the small frustrated gasps coming out of her.

 “¡Suficiente!” She yelled pushing him away. “If you are so sure of it, why did you keep Sann? What was the point in that huh?” Robert finally shut his mouth for a second. “If Sann is just a fake why keep him around?”

 “For the same reason as you. We’re so lonely we bought ourselves company” he admitted. Making Zarai burst into tears.

 “Vete” he stayed still “AHORA, Glass! FUERA!” she screamed before the man walked out of the office with a grim face. 

 “You know I’m right”

 She slammed the door closed on his nose. She waited a while, trying to calm herself down, but the violent tremble wouldn´t stop.

 Suffocating and sweaty and feeling too heavy on her chest, she stepped out of her office and didn’t even bother to cover the furious tears rolling on her cheeks until she let it out on the elevator to the rooftop.

 She passed to the bathroom to put herself together.

 When was the last time she hid in a bathroom to cry like she was? College? No, a year after the accident. When she came back to work and all of the sudden after one of her meetings, she just couldn´t stop herself from tearing up. Then she went back home to cry on the kid´s beds clenching their clothes before she fell asleep. No, wrong the last time had been a few weeks before Albus came. 

 She heard the water run as the realization roamed in her mind and concentrated on breathing in and out, in and out. Since he came to her life, she hadn´t had an anxiety attack.

 Every day for the last eight months, she woke up to homemade breakfast and a good morning, she went to work and had the exact thing she needed on her hand without asking, she went to sleep and her fingers lazily unbuckled the boy´s collar before he wished her good night.

  For the last months she had glanced back over her shoulder and found the albino immediately turned attentively at her. 

 Her breathing hitched as tears rolled down without being able to stop them. 

 For the last months, she always had someone on her side making her company.

 Just like she requested on the WRU form.

 “Ha ha…I really am a monster” she whispered to herself with a sniff “A lonely…lonely monster, just like he said…”

 It took a long time before she recomposed herself and walked to the rooftop garden where Albus was waiting for her.

 His hair had grown a bit and had gained some weight. He was not the dirty, malnourished box boy on a crate anymore. He was the best assistant she had ever had, and a simply adorable and promising kid. Her hands fell on the handle and doubt overwhelmed her for a second.

  In the end, Zarai opened the door and Albus turned to see her with mild surprise. Fixing his posture and face when he recognized her and followed her movements. 

 If she asked him, if she let him buy it…what would he do?

 She had no other way to know than asking and her heart broke when the boy widened his eyes and sulked on the plastic chair in the roof, rounding his thumbs one over the other, before he breathed out and looked up at her. 

 “I made a promise to you, Ma´am” the boy said calmly, crimson eyes looking at her as he wetted his lips “And I intend to keep it. But…I had enough time to think about it here” he looked around the roof, seeing the whole city under him but eyes fixed on the ocean beyond the beach. He turned back to see her with a light frown on his face, looking too young all of a sudden “I´ll make a request, and this will be the only one I´ll ever ask from you, Ma´am”

 As the breeze carried his words to her, she froze. She saw the way the albino smiled at her, a bold pleading on his eyes she couldn´t refuse. After a long silence, she agreed. With a big smile to hide the sadness underneath, Albus thanked her.

 The reason for their agreement would be completely secret from the other two, no matter what happened, both vowed not to tell either Sann or Claude about their deal. 

 At night, her hands had trembled when she was supposed to loosen up his collar to sleep like every night. And the albino had looked at her with those big crimson eyes that softened as he settled her hand over his collar and she finished the task.

 “Good night, Ma´am, Mister” he had said before walking through the door. 

 “Goodnight, Albus” she had replied back and curled closer to Claude. 

 She would wonder later, why she had agreed to it. Why didn´t she stop him or offered the backup way she had planned to give him from the beginning, but she quickly found her answer when she looked over her shoulder and found, always found, the albino trailing behind her.

 She agreed, because for her, Albus was company that wouldn´t ever go away.