#wheel of time reread 2k25

[veliseraptor]

so you've got your twelve least favorite coworkers who you would dearly like to see die. fast forward three thousand years of extradimensional prison and you're in a post-apocalyptic wasteland where the only people you know are still your twelve least favorite coworkers. half of them are career academics.

and only one of you can be the universe's next top model.

[veliseraptor]

sometimes the women in wheel of time are like "sex?? [blush] i could not possibly...be so forward..." and the other half of the time the they're like "i'm going to fuck him through the mattress"

[veliseraptor]

this has got to be a wild experience for this seanchan spy, though. you're just hanging out a bar and some guy is like "the princess of wales is going to walk in and claim me" only you didn't think these people even knew there was a united kingdom. weird moment for sure

[veliseraptor]

also honestly love that by book two rand is already showing latent signs of suicidal tendencies because like. that didn't take long did it

icon of chosen one dysfunction. nobody's doing it like him and by that i mean 'already dwelling on his own death as a solution to problems'

[veliseraptor]

rand in chapter 53 of lord of chaos like

[veliseraptor]

honestly love that as of the great hunt you can catch verin outright lying but the reveal of such is separated by several hundred pages from the exact wording and it happens before the explicit reveal that the black ajah isn't bound by the three oaths. and then this doesn't come up again for ten books.

[veliseraptor]

i still think that the book of translation is possibly the wildest bit of worldbuilding in the entire wheel of time series and it just gets dropped in book eleven as a minor detail. the ogier have a magic book that can transport their entire species between worlds? planets?, which they have done before and will do again. this is never elaborated upon.

[veliseraptor]

you know what i think? i think min and aviendha should've drunk hooked up when elayne was fucking rand after they bonded him. hits post.

[veliseraptor]

i was curious so i decided to make a chart of forsaken survival duration during the third age. counting the date of their release from the start of the series (which may or may not be accurate), and using the calendar/timelines from a combination of websites/encyclopedias

aginor: 1.5 months (as aginor), 4 months (as osan'gar)

balthamel: 1.5 months (as balthamel), 7 months (as aran'gar)

ishamael: given wakeup date of 982, about 17 years (as ishamael), timeline of moridin resurrection unclear but max 26 months (dating from moridin's first on-page appearance, 2 months)

be'lal: 13 months

rahvin: 17 months

asmodean: 17 months

lanfear: 17 months (as lanfear), max 15 months (as cyndane)

sammael: 19 months

graendal: 25 months (as graendal), survives (as hessalam)

semirhage: 25 months

mesaana: 26 months

demandred: fuzzier because branderson wasn't as strict on timelines but between 28 and 31 months

moghedien: survives!

obviously moghedien wins the prize here for living through the whole series without dying once though sir not appearing in most books demandred did pretty good himself. pretty sure aginor/osan'gar wins the no-prize for shortest total time alive (5.5 months in total).

in conclusion:

[veliseraptor]

if rand, mat, and perrin have their "[x] is so much better with women than me, I don't know what I'm doing" then nynaeve, elayne, and aviendha have "[x] is so much braver than me, I'm such a coward"

[veliseraptor]

god I love mat. what a guy. the 'say one thing, do another' energy is truly on some kind of a level

[veliseraptor]

mr. jordan! sir! i know that subtle you are not but isn't this a little too on the nose

[veliseraptor]

small thing in the wheel of time reread that makes me really sad: the part in lord of chaos where rand scares the shit out of the two rivers gals.

I think it's both the vibe of creating more of the increasing distance not just between him and the people he used to know (the you-can-never-go-home-again of it all), but also adding to the increasing number of people he used to know who see him as a what instead of a who.

[veliseraptor]

rand:

also rand:

[veliseraptor]