#whatever im just gonna focus on how much i need this money bc i spent soooo much last weekend lol

[raevenlywrites]

Ramble incoming

I know I'm not the only one who looks back on their youth and sees the hypocrisy. But now with some distance I can see that all those "only here for an MRS degree" chickies, we were not so different you and I. On a surface level and even a motivational level yeah, we had wildly different goals. But I could not put an ounce of focus on classes my first freshman year (yes I had two) bc 100% of my attention to was on my love life.

I was just thinking today how different that year might have been if smart phones had come along just a hair sooner. I missed classes specifically bc I felt so isolated from my friends that I prioritized staying at home on the laptop and chatting with them over AIM or Yahoo if they were around. I don't know if I would have paid any attention in class if I'd had messengers I could take on the fucking bus with me (phone plans still charged by the text back then), but at least I would have been in attendance.

But like, more than that, I knew on some level I was just going to school bc that's what you did. I had no interest or motivation in my gen eds bc I didn't see any path between taking this class and making enough money to live. The economy was already starting to seriously crash.

What I could see was how important figuring who my Person was would be. Whatever else time was gonna bring, I Needed the right person or persons by my side to make it through it. Not bc marriage was also just a thing you did, but bc I'd spent way too much time alone in my own head and I knew I needed an outside force to help balance the bullshit that is me

(in fact, one of my potential Persons breaking up with me included the phrase "you don't want to be in love you just want someone to help you with the burden of being you". Like yeah, I do. I want to help you with the burden of being you too, asshole, that's part of what love is)

I never have a tidy way to close these kinds of thoughts out (who does?) but I guess if I have a point it's that sometimes Queer is a verb. I queered the normative "went to college to find a husband" narrative even though on the surface it looked the same. And not just bc I wound up in same sex marriage (in fact we didn't even get married until we'd been together for over a decade) but bc the whole process was simply not the same. I wasn't checking off boxes, I wasn't looking for someone to complete me. I was putting my effort into the one area I felt could make a difference in my quality of life and wellbeing. School was the normative backdrop to a very queer metamorphosis going on inside me. On some level I knew I was arming myself with the people who would help support me on furthering my journey.

Without the support of my polyamorous triad, I wouldn't have had the strength and foundation and support to choose something other than the path that had been laid out before me. Without my mentor in kink, I wouldn't have developed the internal fortitude to be my own master. Without the unconditional love of my wife, I wouldn't have had the courage to explore my own gender and figure out how to shift the pieces around so I wasn't so miserable in my own skin. The people in my life have been so much more important to me than whatever education I missed out on by skipping class to hang out in AIM.

Could I be wildly successful and wealthy by now by that American Dream Bootstraps story by now if I buckled down and studied hard? Maybe, but most likely not. That dream is a lie and almost no one is actually a "self made man" - they all get help from networking. Well guess what? I was doing my own networking at the time, and Im rich in things money can't fucking buy.

Still wish I didn't have all that stupid student debt tho :/

[hhawkeye]

working a 9 hour two person opening shift tomorrow and im not trained on half the stuff i need to do so im definitely gonna be yelled at by customers and probably my supervisor as well  🤪🤪🤪 gonna be a fun time!

[mieczyhale]

because tumblr is the way that it is i have no idea what you have/nt seen?? so i guess here’s just all the recent TUA-related shit ;snklfd @hellomyguru

it sure would be nice of them to notify people about notifications wouldn’t it??

my tags on this post:: #y e s #okay like i love the lil klaus they gave us #for sure#but klaus has curls?? and bby didnt really?? and like it makes sense bc considering reginald's.. everything.. he would have done whatever he#could to tame them / keep them under control yknow?? he doesnt like different and he doesnt like things that arent prim and proper#which is what he'd consider curls to NOT be#esp. with how wild those curls woulda been like#and i mean i know adult klaus's hair was more mess & not really curly but towards the end of the season you could def see his hair rebelling#so #anyway #here's wonderwall 

my tags on this post::   #klaus and dave#even if you play it with dave being 30 too instead of 40 this is still fucking funny#i can imagine this interaction perfectly and it kills me sfhkdjccj

a post on my change in how i tag my original TUA posts

a question you asked that i answered

a post on klaus, reginald, and medicine

a shitpost about dave

my reply to a reply on my broken jaw post

my reply to your reply on my broken jaw post

my tags on this post:: #does klaus know what he threw out tho?? like he barely glanced at the stuff he pulled out of the box before throwing it away#he clearly thought that whatever it was wasnt important - i mean he also wouldnt have cared bc gotta get them drugs baby but still#and at what point would he have told five that he threw out some of their dads shit?? like.. at which interaction would that have made sense#the dumpster?? not really. five immediately declares he doesn't care what klaus is doing and then klaus is distracted by the opportunity to#get some money in an easier way than normal and then he bit into a dumpster bagel and five was leaving. he left.#OH and now that im thinking more about it - klaus refers to the stuff from the box as 'priceless crap' / 'priceless shit' so there's a#chance he A. really didnt pay attention to what he was throwing away - which makes sense considering his desperation#or B. he forgot. drugs arent known for being great for your memory and then a lot of shit went down really fast so..#the lab?? also wouldnt have made sense for a few reasons but mostly bc at no point did they talk about anything other than fake eyes and#relationships. during the family meeting that five appears in the middle of?? maybe. but five had a very narrow focus and the others#talked a lot and over each other and the whole time klaus is off to the side sick - very clearly having a hard time focusing and staying#upright and again - a lot has fucking happened - so there's no way he would've even considered the papers from 10 months ago as being#relevant. IF he remembered them at all.#oh and then he didnt even really acknowledge the apocalypse thing until episode 6 and he spent all of episode 4 being tortured#and he came back and spent episode 5 just trying to adjust to being back - having just lost dave and left a warzone - and he just.. has his#grief to deal with so nothing else is even on his radar#what im saying is#there's a lot going on and there never would've been a time to bring it up even if he did know/remember what he threw away#in my big dumb pan opinion#i know this post isnt that serious but i read it and had to word vomit#anyway #sgkskccj #carry on y'all

my tags on this post::   #oh shit fuck!!! this!!!!!! im always here for emotions and powers being tied - ESPECIALLY when people dont know it#including the person who has the powers like... everyone being oblivious fucks#which is kind of why i agree with and support klaus's powers being tied to his emotions. 1. people just out here being completely oblivious#and ignorant towards klaus and everything related to him and 2. klaus being just as oblivious like.. between over half a lifetime of#substance abuse and addiction?? that happened in the first place bc klaus was terrified of and hated his powers?? there is so much that he#can do. i personally believe he's incredibly powerful and the longer he stays sober the more everybody is gonna see that#and none of them will expect it. tbh also?? i firmly believe - despite his alien status and knowing things - that not even reginald#had any fucking idea. bc i mean he clearly had no real idea of how klaus's powers worked. his training decisions proved that. his#experiments proved that. is there anything in canon to support any of this hc - you ask - why yes. yes there is. in my opinion of course. i#know not everyone sees things the same way. but 1. klaus returning from vietnam. he beat up the suitcase p well but while it sparks?thats it#and throwing it isnt - on its own - going to make it explode. thats just not believable. its a time traveling briefcase. that shits STURDY#and if im remembering right - it didnt explode right away. it didnt happen until klaus screamed and i dont think thats a coincidence#he does have telekinesis after all. and 2. making ben corporeal in the last episode. that did not seem like a conscious decision. he ran#into that room. got shot sat. ducked. and then suddenly he has glowing hands and bentacles was seen by all. it all happened in a matter of#seconds and it would've freaked anyone out but with his powers klaus wanted ben there - he wanted ben to help - even if he didnt know it#himself. in one second he had elevated emotions - elevated anxiety and possibly fear and he wanted to do something just.. ANYTHING. he#wanted to not die and he wanted his siblings to not die and he wanted to help but he alone couldnt and ben is his closest#brother - sorry not sorry - and then also sorry not sorry but ptsd?? from vietnam and guns?? yeah. so everything just.. fell together and#it triggered his powers. and i can see that happening a lot. he's having a hard day and he can see dave and talk to him but he#cant be held by him and it just makes everything worse and suddenly dave is THERE there and klaus doesnt know how he did it but w.e#he's just so happy he did. and he accidentally conjures patch while he and diego are talking about her and diego thinks klaus did it on#purpose. to hurt him? idk. but he's pissed and klaus is just confused - not really registering the heartache he had been feeling for diego#when she suddenly appeared. im leaving this with 2 examples only bc imma run outta tags otherwise fkdmdnd BUT give me klaus levitating for#the first time when he's sitting cross legged on the floor of the living room or standing idk but he's content and sleepy ans suddenly#there's confused voices and shouting and he opens his eyes to find he's in the same position but now he's five feet off the ground and#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK yknow?? oooh and more on his telekinesis?? unintentionally launching shit at people when he gets pissed. luther takes a#little gardening shovl to the face. the others keep treating him like shit - like he hasnt changed - and he snaps during a meeting and a#vase JUST misses somebody's head or smth?? it would be great. and dont even get me started on the Not Fucking Dying aspect bc thats a whole#other rodeo. but even that.. i think its emotionally tied and how long he stays dead depends on how he felt when he died. he can control it#from the other side yknow?? anyway i def need to do an actual post on this i think later bc im outta tags lmao

[monotype-on-phantom]

i didnt want to say this before but man.. Danny kind of.. sucks, at least in the heart of canon. i get that he's young and learns "Those Valuable Lessons" and but people dont acknowledge most of this douchebag's shitty antics cause he's a cute boy or whatever. although Danny has a very excellent premise for a character, he is sincere sometimes, but overall its not executed well. he falls into too many awful high school tropes

i guess im glad people are making use of his character premise by reading too closely than the show intended, or by making content of their own interpretations. but we cant ignore that he is quite a goddamned piece of hell shit who i fucking hate in the real show sometimes. i feel there’s just too much emphasis on a character and show that wasn’t well crafted and well managed to begin with. its kinda sad when all the hate is somehow directed towards other characters like Sam.

it feels like most people are praising him and the overall show for what they imagine it to be instead of what it actually is. srsly this awful goddamned fuckboy sells stuff garage lab items he aint supposed to just to buy some fucking clothes??? uses ghost powers to spy girls in their locker room?? he fuckin destroys ghost writer’s writing and then doesnt feel sorry about it just cause it’s christmas-related and he’s so pissy about it.

so.. yeah. i dont get why people think he’s literal kid Jesus and always wants to protect this little fucker. he puts himself in alot of mess. the “D” on his suit stands for “dick”, bc that’s what he is.  i want to beat him up sometimes

Okay.

Normally, I delete all character hate on sight, because the point of my blog is to focus on the show’s strengths and how the weaknesses could’ve been done better. I get critical sometimes, but I like focusing on a characters’ strengths rather than their poor writing and garbage like that.

This was so long, detailed, and harsh that it’s really hard to ignore. Maybe I should. Stick to my guns and not let some anonymous rant change how I work. You came to me, though, so if you want to debate this, then alright. I’ll bite.

First off, who in the fandom is portraying Danny as a kid Jesus? Maybe it’s just the circles I’m familiar with, but one of the most reblogged posts that pops up in my notifications is one with a ton of additions arguing why Danny totally deserves to suffer. The majority of the fandom loves tormenting this kid. Even those that do say he needs to be protected never claim he has no flaws. Far from it. They just acknowledge he has it hard for a kid and he deserves a break sometimes.

Second, have you ever…met a 14 year old? As someone who spent most of his career life working with kids and who is the oldest of 5 (with one brother who’s turning 14 this November), lemme tell you that the main trio are saints for their age.

People talk about the terrible twos, but 14 year olds are so much worse. I’m not slamming them, because it makes sense. They’re in a tough transition period between childhood and adulthood. Adults tell them to act more mature, but refuse to acknowledge their voices in serious situations. Middle school and high school are cutthroat places, and one mistake can ruin the entirety of the four-six years you spend there. They’re pressured to get good grades or they’ll fail, they have to be part of the cool crowd or they’ll fail, and people are more likely to blame them for whatever goes wrong in their lives than anything that goes on around them.

Doesn’t change the fact that they can be little demons sometimes. With all the hormones and drama, young teenagers can be really emotional and make problems bigger than they seem. They can be harsh and judgmental, because that’s the environment they’re being exposed to. They need guidance, but they don’t want it. They argue with adults and to some, it seems like they want to make their own lives miserable. They can be tough to work with unless you’re willing to take them as seriously as they take themselves, and most people don’t want to bother.

There are shitty things Danny does in canon, but that’s true for literally every fourteen year old. And heck, are you telling me you didn’t do some ridiculously stupid stuff at that age? I actually stole money from my folks to buy something I wanted. My group of friends frequently set stuff on fire in their backyards. And fuck, nobody can prove Danny was spying on girls in the locker room. While I think the scene is shit and refuse to accept it as canon, all we see is Danny coming out of the locker room. He could’ve been just looking to see what it was like in there. Nothing says there were actually girls in there. But I’m so sick of talking about that shit scene, so I’m gonna leave it at that.

Danny has flaws. He can be selfish and petty and inconsiderate. But really? You wanna beat him up for that?

Are you forgetting that he canonically already does get beaten up every single episode? Whether it’s by ghosts, bullies, his own goddam parents, or whatever, getting beat up is something he’s familiar with.

The reason some fans cut him some slack is because, hey, yeah. He is a kid, and you know what? He’s entitled to be a dick sometimes. He loses sleep every night, almost dies on a daily basis, has his dreams ripped away from him often, and is picked on at school. Despite all of that, he still fights ghosts to keep his town safe, and he’s under no obligation to do that. He saves lives, even when people hate him for it. He puts himself in danger, even for those who are cruel to him. He tries to use his powers for the right reason more often than not, and he’ll take the high road against his bully because he feels like he shouldn’t stoop to his level.

We acknowledge that canon can be shit. We acknowledge that sometimes, Danny’s writing makes him out to be a dick. At the “heart of canon,” though, as you so eloquently put it, he’s the kid who risked his life for a little girl he barely knew that nobody else would miss. He’s the one who saves the lives of his own bully, the teacher who used to be so hard on him, and the parents he fully believes would cut him open if they knew what he was. He’s the one who could so easily be Vlad, but instead he tries his best to be a hero.

You’re under no obligation to like him, and you don’t have to ignore the shitty parts of canon like some of us do. I do it just because I enjoy thinking about what the show could’ve been, not what it was. You don’t have to do that, though.

But really, are you going to march into your nearest high school and beat the shit out of the first kid you see messing up? Seriously? You honestly think that the mistakes Danny makes outweigh the good he’s constantly trying to do enough that he deserves that? Even when he already gets beat up in every single episode already?

Well, fine. That’s your pessimistic opinion. It’s not fact, though. How many cartoons do you watch? You gonna beat up Timmy Turner and Jimmy Neutron, too? They can be right assholes. What about Jake Long? He’s a shallow, obnoxious, irresponsible kid a lot of the time. Sure, he’s just 13, but why should we show mercy to kids who mess up? Serena/Usagi from Sailor Moon? Yeah, let’s ignore all the people defending her and just focus on the fact that the show makes her a dumb kid who doesn’t have enough backbone to immediately become the savior of the galaxy. Come to think of it, where’s your rant about Dash Baxter? Or is he not popular enough for you to rag on?

Perfect characters aren’t the ones who are the most upstanding. They’re the ones who are realistic and flawed. So Danny sells his parents stuff. So he sneaked into the girls’ locker room. So he took out his anger on an innocent person.

I’m not saying any of those things weren’t wrong, what I’m saying is that kids make fucking mistakes. And sometimes, they’re huge ones. Sometimes, kids get curious and break into a house. Sometimes they get hungry at the store and shoplift. Sometimes they lie and cheat and make fun of each other. Sometimes they can be perverted little leaches.

So fucking what? We’ve all been there. We all need to learn and grow.

And seriously, if you’re going to be one of those people who gives Sam a break, don’t turn around and start criticizing Danny for the same shitty writing he sometimes gets. That hypocrisy is exactly why I so adamantly defend Sam.

I don’t know what you wanted to accomplish with these asks. Maybe you just wanted to vent. Maybe you were looking to stir up drama. Maybe you don’t know what you wanted and you just sent these asks randomly without any real reason.

Regardless of what you think, I’m still gonna enjoy my fucking fictional character, even if I don’t always agree with how he’s written. I relate to him, his struggles, and even his mistakes. You have fun ripping on characters people like because you don’t think they should be allowed to make mistakes, but let the rest of us have our fun, too. You’re not helping anyone with this, so maybe just fuck off, m’kay?

Being stupidly nice is kind of my thing, but I’m tired of putting up with this self righteous crap. Let characters fuck up. Let fans rewrite things they don’t like. Let people enjoy their fucking cartoon, because they aren’t hurting anyone. I’ve yet to find a single phan who considers the DP cartoon to be completely canon anyway. They enjoy it for the fan content or the few really spot on episodes. We’re already aware that there’s shitty stuff in there, and we don’t need you to tell us.

If I ever get any asks like this that rip on characters for stupid, petty reasons again, I’m deleting them on sight. That was my initial plan anyway, but I really needed to say my piece here.

Tumblr, maybe stop being such judgmental pieces of fucking shit, okay? You’ll accomplish nothing good by being so harsh toward anything that doesn’t fit your standard of “perfect.”

[stopbreathego]

no one pays attention to me here or really knows me in rl, so im just gonna type out my feelings for a little bit bc it’s been a year and i feel like it. so i’m 25 now. i’m halfway to the 30. that feels awful knowing i’m still only halfway to my degree and i can’t ever take any classes bc they interfere with other things like my job that actually pays pretty decent for not having a degree. plus i’m married now. we’ve been married for a whopping six months, but i think knowing each other for 13 years kinda ruined the whole honeymoon thing for us. i do really want to spend most of my time with him, but i’m just clingy and constantly aware of how much i took advantage of him when we dated in high school. also he’s in jail rn. yay. so fun. love it. some stupid irrelevant probation violations in october, and we just finally had the court hearing last friday. honestly, i think they would have just let him go with a slap on the wrist, bc he didn't really do anything wrong, he just didn't get proper approval on a couple things, but they listed all the violations he’s had in the past 5 years of being on probation, and yeah, i understand. he just didn’t care for the first couple years. we weren’t really talking during that time. fun story the last time i talked to him before he got in trouble, he was telling me he didn’t love me anymore, that he’d finally moved on and was doing well living in san antonio, doing the musician thing. and i tried really hard to pretend lk idrc bc i was in a relationship, but i had this weird addiction to him wanting me. i ran back to him so many times after we broke up for good jr yr, but idk, i was dumb. hearts are so fickle. whatever. so yeah we’re married now. someday our kids will be so confused by our love story, but whatevs, hopefully they just learn from our mistakes. until then, ill worry about how to get them to shorten his probation that was just extended another 5 years bc i don’t want to have kids while hes on probation, and i also don’t want to wait until we’re 30. i’m doing surprisingly well considering i’ve been living on my own for the past week. i will be moving back to parents’ for the remaining 82 days he’ll be gone to save some money and give him peace of mind bc we live in a sketchy neighborhood. thankfully my dad owns the building we’re living in, so i can do whatever with our stuff here. it definitely sucks, but it could suck worse. when we first started talking again in 2014, it was only a month or so before he was back in jail bc a stupid technicality, which was really his po’s fault in my opinion, but who am i? and that time he was here in county for an unknown amount of time before they sent him to a facility in dallas. none of the time here counted towards the 90 days he had to spend there, so he was gone about 5 months by the end of it and i only got to visit him once when a friend and i made the drive to dallas and had to say we were his common law wife and adopted brother. whack. so he’s staying here in town this time, which means i can see him twice a week. it still sucks, but it could def suck worse. emotionally, the first couple days were hard, but really, i’m doing okay. just staying busy. we just went through a second downsizing at work, so my workload has doubled, so that’s been good for passing weekdays. rn i’m working on cleaning and getting ready to move, so weekends and evenings are covered for now to. we’re trying to focus on weeks/visits left, rather than days. it’s easier that way. only 12 more saturdays until he’s home. that’s not so bad. and really, i think this is good for me, i’m realizing how much i depended on him for really dumb things. i still haven’t gone to the grocery store by myself. he always makes me breakfast every morning. i didn’t even realize until monday morning came and i was like wtf i need to get breakfast. soo dumb. i’ve been making myself breakfast and really just being a normally functioning adult. no small potatoes, i’ve really spent a lot of time trying to press into God and figure out where He wants us, bc we’ve been on this train of mediocre contentment, and really it hasn’t been fun. and i also realized how co-dependent we really are. i still have avoided a lot of social things, but more so for the sake of money and not really wanting to answer when people ask me where he is. not really bc i just didn’t want to go. plus i really have been busy. i’ve started watching parks & rec from the beginning again before bed bc we were watching the office and he’d be upset if i kept watching w/o him. i forgot a lot of things, so it’s been fun. i really love p&r, and anything amy poehler does in general. hm. idk i guess that’s it for now. ima go get spruced up bc visitation is in an hour. lucky for him, my husband looks hot in yellow and his hair just does what he wants. this mess takes some work.