#what. what are you fucki mf saying

[checkadii]

I WAS NOT AWARE GBAT LAYING DOWN MAKES THE SWIMMING HEAD FROM ALCOHOL THING WORSE

[fillinforlater]

It’s that time of the year again. What are some of your favorite smuts released in 2023?

Monday of Appreciation: Part 104

Hello everyone, Smite here!

2023 is coming to a close and it's been quite the year, a mixture of "this is a bridge year for greater things to come" and "WE LIVIN' NOW MF!" What is a bit different this year is that the highs weren't as high and the lows weren't as low compared to previous years---maybe that is just me getting older, maybe it's hindsight. Either way, I'm good and this year was good.

But some things are more than just good. I'm of course talking about these writers and their stories that I have featured today. All of them deserve special mention, but I want to focus on two of them specifically.

In a year of great, fantastic and already legendary fics, these two stand out.

Without further ado, let's dive into the final MoA of this year:

-1-

@fanfiction4sooya: Can't Save You Now ft. Chaewon, Kazuha, Sakura

I- I- I just read the damn tags and new I one day had to give this a shot. ff4sooya has crazy ideas, futa galore, different dynamics and kinks, which is SO MY THING. This has Mommy and Daddy involved in an absurd (and absurdly hot) threesome that I couldn't take my eyes off.

Now I definitely need to read more and you should too because I bet there are a bunch of Masterpieces in that long Masterlist!

-2-

@iznsfw: Drunken ft. Olivia Hye

Is it really a Monday of Appreciation post without IZ?

Seriously, what this genius is able to cook up in a commission or in the currently ongoing (HYPE) IZ DAYS OF CHRISTMAS is absolutely incredible. We have long stories with in depth characters and love drama that ends not only smuttily but sweetly. Who the fuck needs books, when you can just binge IZ?

With "Drunken", they have once again hit it out of the FUCKIING park. There is never enough Daddy kink fics, yes, but mine seem like nonsensical cringe porn compared to this beauty of a piece. I love how it plays with my heart, no I'm not crying---okay, now that is hot.

Let me change that: there is three very fucking special stories today!

(I think this might even be better than Levi's Hyeju, wtf)

-3-

@cataboliac: Enkindle ft. Wendy

Firstly: I LOVE YOU CATA, BIG QT!

Secondly: "Enkindle" feels a bit like coming home, like a day in Paradise, like the one person that shines so bright in your life that you don't want it to go. And you know, that is the great thing: this might be Cata's final fic, the farewell, but not only is his life gonna be great and he'll be super happy - we also get to read this again and again, and I'm sure I will one day.

Thank you, Cata, for hanging around!

Thirdly: I'M GONNA KISS YOU, CATA!

-4-

@writerpeach: Delectation ft. Wonyoung, Yujin

1.000 Notes, and it's still not enough for what is my pick for fic of the year (FOTY? FOOTY? There is a scene like that, yep). IZ*ONE truly never dies, but it is IVE and these absolute super stars, bomb shells with flawless faces and different, yet irresistible bodies that have us in a frenzy.

Talking about frenzy, all those 30,699 words are a frenzy. I thought Peach would set it up with a long and painful tease that has us edging the entire time BUT NOPE this has so much fucking smut, so many lines of neediness and horniness, it is impossible to finish in one try or two tries or... I dunno, seven-hundred tries?

It's detailed, it's straight forward, it's sex from every fucking angle, I can never get tired of this. I will go so far and say this is Peach's magnum opus, the GOAT fic by the GOAT writer. At least for that day, I can say this without a doubt.

Peach, you are crazy and thank you for that <3

#PeachPavedTheWay #AnnyeongzForDaddy

[bylertruther]

Denise PLEASE elaborate on trans will!!! I will protect you against the fools that don’t get it with my own mortal body

first please allow me to assume my position which is cowering behind ur mortal body 🩷 ahem!

"he's not like you. he's not like me. he's not like... most." aka... gay n trans will is #real

"it's just, she's so different from other people, and... when you're... when you're different, sometimes... you feel like a mistake." do i even need to explain. a mistake... because he can't be what everyone expects him to be? because none of what he is fits within what is acceptable for boys? perhaps bc what's inside doesn't "fit" with what's on the outside, at least not in the way that people say it should? hm.

if no trans when why always grouped with, paralleled to, assuming commonly female tropes, and taking the side of the ladies? why confused for his sister who also has a fucky gender? 🧐 hm??

if no trans then why did he keep his long sleeves on in the desert even though he was miserable, aka perform the ancient ritual tht all trans kids do bc they'd rather suffer a heat stroke than take off tht mf jacket? what, didn't want to bc he would've felt uncomfortable with his chest so "exposed"?

he shoveled two grains of sand both bc he's a lazy gay and also bc i hear ur not supposed to do hard labor while wearing a binder. just the facts and the rest of the guys understood this.

will loves dragons. dragons come from eggs. will is also an egg (respectfully), has dragon imagery all around him, has dragons in his room, and draws them all the time. 1 + 1 = 🥚 = trans.

people make fun of will's clothes. they're too tight. st literature states he gets hand-me-downs from both joyce and jonathan. his sister also borrows his clothes. depending on what your trans hc is, maybe he prefers his brother's clothes, maybe he prefers his mother and sister's. maybe he likes a baggier fit that hides his body, maybe he likes it when things are more form-fitting. what does he want to emphasize? what does he want to obscure? does he feel better in certain colorways, patterns, or cuts? is that part of what people make fun of? you could do a lot here and it works any which way.

trans will can be anything and anyone. genderqueer? sure. ftm? sure. nonbinary? sure. agender? genderfluid? demigender? whatever floats your boat. he's different, cannot help being different, and always has been. even amongst his fellow freaks, amongst his loved ones, he's still... different; a mistake. in ways they aren't and can't understand. and still, he perseveres. he holds onto his sense of self, clings to it like a lifeline, even when those closest to him try to tear him down. he isn't like anyone else—he's just will. 🏳️‍⚧️

disclaimer: AHT !!!! AHT AHT AHT do NOT twist this into me erasing the importance of will being a gnc cis gay man in canon. this is not that. this is just me having a silly goofy time coming up with trans will headcanons and things one could use to "support" that and weave into tht hc if they so wanted, seeing as gender and sexuality can influence each other & will's gender is an important and inextricable part of his characterization. no harm or erasure is intended with these hcs so please put the cancel gun down!!!

[rainbowgod666]

Dr. Stone headcanons cause that is what ive been watching these days

Tsukasa has been having a perfectly hidden breakdown and only told senku when the fighting stopped, unfortunately they had to freeze his ass like, 3 months later??? Idk i didnt get to that part of the anime

Senku has so much shit wrong with him its amazing. I get too close to him he starts talking like CJ Duchamp. He sleeptalks about things and chrome started recording those... uuuuuntil our fennel haired boi started saying something about gen's butt. Using science-themed dirty talk.

Also every time he met tsukasa was some death note shit. He with the red being like "yessssssss... come to my kingdommmmm >:3 >:3 >:3" and tsukasa was like "this dude is fucked up, fr"

Suika is a cryptid and has scared thousands. Little gourd-headed girl why are you making the mushroom meme from here on tumblr sound mid. Why do you know every secret of all kingdoms. Why did you dream the fucking end of the world to nuclear hellfire-

Chrome is the only normal one except that he likes rocks a lot

Going back to our boy senku, he got drunk once and the shit he said would make a 4channer go pale. And thats coming from someone who searched THIS

-and instead got Real Raunchy "art" of what i assume was a REAL GUY saying insults that were privably meant to be in russian and not in english (look i have issues of my own ok)

Also one more thing. By The Autism what the actual fuck is kinro on. One time senku made (incredibly light and basically placebo) combat drugs, and... he did all of them. Result? Mf jumped at tsukasa like an animal and scared our boy Kars From Wish.com for a moment. Defeated him. And was like "guys seriously i know my ideal does sound kinda fucky wucky but uh. Are you guys ok? Is senku treating you well? Im willing to stop all fighting before-" but alas it was the time i was visiting so senku started talking like a boondocks charachter. Idc what did he mean by "whats really good", that is a fade that cannot be ran, cause tsukasa never breaks a statue without actually thinking about it, but uuuuuuh with senku the issue is that hes kinda always ready to scrap amd by that i mean reduce YOU to scrap

Also seriously suika you are a child what the fuck are you talking about "the birth of a new god" and "green-blue flames cleansing this earth of ignorant savages" and "your name will be naught but a footnote tsukasa-kun =)" GET THIS MANDELA CATALOGUE ASS CHILD OFF ME DAMN MULTIVERSE I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH IRL MOOTS LIKE THAT AAAAAA-

[tw1stedthicket]

After work today I was feeling proud of myself for getting a lot done and found out my old job is currently serving the BEST ice cream flavors (pumpkin and mocha) rn, so I drove to my old job and visited with my dearly beloved friend there and we caught up and chatted for like 3 hours! I love that lady. :') On god, I think I may just get a teeny tattoo somewhere (add it to the list lol) for my time at this farm job, because it has meant so much to me. I also got to see another one of my friends which felt really good and I desperately gotta see them for a hangout sometime. Today was so long but honestly really good. The connection I had was awesome.

Gotta take a moment to say... sometimes we got shit and we all sigh and dread and moan and beg the lord to take the mf wheel already but like. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. I am alive. School is everything I hoped it would be and more. Just a couple years ago, I was terrified of it, but I've never had something *click* like this. I had a job performance review the other day. It wasn't perfect. Not dropping the ball on anything, but room for improvement, so they say. I wrestled with it a little bit. But you know, I had a good, fun conversation with my assistant office manager today while I was up there working by myself since my coworker was gone. And we had a good time. And I though hey, I like who I am. I don't have to be the most stellar, incredible employee they just are so eager to be proud of, I'm just gonna do my job the best I can and let the rest of the bullshit fuck off, and you know what? I have good conversations with people. I can laugh with em. People around the office know me as being really sincere and good-natured. And that means so much more than anything else to me. I try to go to bed on time, man. I try to make time for the people I don't feel weird with, the people I never doubt for a second if they're being real, or honest, or just... *there* with me. Showing up as themselves, regardless of our tiredness and depression and shit because yeah that shit can suck but I love em and what would life be without each other at the end of it, you know? I remember how bad it felt, but I love to see them so much no matter what and the fact they show up makes me feel like I could fight a dragon, and I wish I could for them and their shit.

I sometimes don't notice how I'm places I never thought I would be. I read the posts of those people I knew from church that have also left the church, the very few ones I know, and their commitment to integrity is fucking insanely awesome and inspiring, and it inspires me to write out my own thoughts in my journal that I read over and think, damn. I'm pretty smart to have come up with those words to capture something so deeply just... weird and wirey and fucky. It's pretty cool to come from that at all, and I comprehend even more now the way both of them have this deep rooted regard for ethics reflected in his nursing job and her counselor job. They're really real like that.

And I think about that and think about how I was eating a coffee ice cream today that 2 years ago when I took the first bites of I felt riddled with guilt, and now? Fuck! It's so tasty!

I think about how hobbies are slowly re-entering the picture. I fuckin' love these detective games. I fuckin' love reading and journaling, and I'm entertaining these thoughts a lot different than I ever used to. I have plans to finally do what I wanted to do back in January and buy a bass guitar in a couple weeks.

I want to meet up with these friends. I want to meet up with the couple cool people I've met so far at school.

I found some glittery watercolor paints on Temu and like, yo! I've been lookin' for those! I'm so excited that my little sis is coming here in a bit. We're gonna have a good time. I wake up in the morning and you know what's crazy? I don't hate showering in the morning. It actually feels kinda refreshing. I stop in at the shell and buy some monsters and look forward to seeing the cashier. I eat my frozen microwave meals on lunch break and savor the taste. I play Disney songs and it's fun as hell to sing with my friend and know she's not judging me for it. I sit inside myself and think about how I felt when I saw that one person I only know of really, and it brought up the same bubbling of love in my heart, the way I wish I could love her and hold her, and in another life, I would... I would.

And it hit me again, the way it KEEPS hitting me. The pages are turning, man. I am gay, and it's fucking crazy to me sometimes I ever got here, because how the hell did my Mormon ass ever get here, lol? Jesus. I wish I could slap myself in the head so much, and for once I don't mean in the I-have-deep-remorse-and-shame-for-that-unfair-person-I-have-to-unlearn-to-be, but in the, goddamn you dummy, it really took ya til you were an adult to realize that for you, huh? I just wanna tell that part of me, "Go sit down." Lol. Lordy.

I realize so much how fuckin' haunted living feels sometimes. I know when I start dreaming about certain people and unfinished business again that I need the love of connection again. I've been feeling that, not knowing where my path onward leads with certain people, people I once couldn't imagine a future without, and dreaming oddly enough of my old ex. It's so weird how my brain remembers that feeling of loving and wanting to be loved, and the vulnerability in a relationship knowing you're the only one they're sharing some parts with, and as shitty as it was - I valued being a safe space for him, even to be safely broken. As much contempt as I feel, I also wish him to be incredibly well. Those feelings resurface in my dream of my sadness and unfinishedness, and the way I want to be loved by people who don't seem like they can. But man. We're gonna be okay.

The fact I'm out here now is proof of pushing forward and moving onward, and the fact that I find connection and connection finds me again in new ways all over again, is proof that the nature of life is to not only take, but also to give. Like the sentiment that if life is endlessly cleaning our dirty rooms and having to cook ourselves food every damn day, then that means life is also about the delight of a clean room and having homecooked meals. Like that post, good things come and go. But they come! They do.

I suppose I say all this to say, I'm grateful. Thank you for every new thing I learn. Thank you for every time I feel my disillusionment return, I remember what I must do, and most of the time it's that I gotta sleep as much as I can, and tell myself I'm doing okay like I'm a kid, and do some adult shit, and hey, I know the adult shit only ramps up in intensity. There's stuff now that's haunting me. But that's okay. I'm glad to be here. I'm happy to be here. I'm singing my favorite song again, and I feel it. I feel the salty waves come in, I feel them crash against my skin, and I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win. Hell yeah. They won't.

[league-of-kiiboy]

The Great My Hero Academia vs Homestuck Debate ™️

so full disclosure this is just about what's more toxic/problematic. it's not meant to be taken seriously and is a dumb thing that i didn't want to subject everyone in a group chat to.

ALSO NOT EVERY FAN OF HOMESTUCK OR MHA IS LIKE THIS. MY HOMESTUCK/MHA FRIENDS I LOVE U.

AIGHT ANYWAY

so homestuck vs my hero academia yeah

on the homestuck side, we have the horror stories of people trying to dye themselves gray in sharpie baths, getting face paint everywhere, and generally causing mayhem by defending their problematic faves (cough cough vriska cough)

on the my hero side we have tales of problematic ships, fetishization of characters/relationships and general immaturity.

SO WHAT'S UP WITH THAT. WELL YOU'RE IN FUCKIN LUCK BECAUSE AS SOMEONE WITH REAL EXPERIENCE IN BOTH FANDOMS WE CAN DEDUCE THIS TOGETHER. now kai, kai you might say, but there's problematic material with both fandoms; isn't it hard to judge?

AND YOU ARE RIGHT. BOTH FANDOMS CAN KINDA SUCK AT TIMES BUT HERE'S THE TEA.

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH BOTH FANDOMS HAS BEEN DIFFERENT.

homestuck, being one of my first fandoms and the first one i cosplayed characters from, offered a community of individuals who generally just wanted to have fun, meet other people who also had the same perseverance to read this monster of a webcomic, and maybe play spin the faygo with other cosplayers. not the worst.

however online you get people defending VRISKA SERKET and sure she is a complex character but HOLY SHIT SHE MIND CONTROLS TAVROS OFF OF A CLIFF. shipping those two kinda sucks, but from my memory it's also depicted as. kind of sucking. not a thing to romanticize at all. (that gets into the whole deal of kismesis vs lovesprites but I DIGRESS)

now my hero academia. oh my fucking god my hero academia. absolutely UNHINGED. and NOT IN THE GOOD WAY. i had to watch as two YOUNG TEENAGERS walked into hot topic on dog leashes as deku and todoroki doing clear ship stuff. my hero academia fans are the most disrespectful mfs i have ever met. THAT ISN'T TO SAY THERE AREN'T GOOD ONES i absolutely love the friends i made in that community but holy FUCK random my hero cosplayers or fans will come at you at cons and completely forget what human decency is. random my hero fans will come at you and pick you, a STRANGER up into the air and twirl you around for fun. granted, part of the reason for these actions are because they're usually fucking young and just getting into fandom spaces, but BOUNDARIES. THEY GOTTA EXIST IN AND OUT OF CONS.

anyway online my hero fans aren't much better.

there's a lot of fetishization of lgbtq ships because it's 'cute', and it's not inherently wrong to lile an lgbtq ship but there's a point where it's... yeah. there's some great content out there, don't get me wrong, but there's a lotta weird shit that comes out of that fandom. please do not ship all might with any of the students omg.

there's also the issue of mha pandering to shonen demographics; we get a lot of fan service with momo/invisible girl (somehow???) and a few others. we also do not fucking talk about mineta i do not care he is a shit character. it encourages the audience to be weird to the characters and it shows because my hero fans are so. fucky. at. cons.

while this only scratches the surface of these two fandoms and is absolutely not applicable to all fans of each franchise, my final vote is that my hero academia is the worse fandom because of it's younger fans' lack of boundaries and the willingness of the fandom to be a bit freaky in the bad way and in public.

final note, homestuck generally appeals to older gen z individuals and millenials; therefore the type of fan you interact with often has more life experience, knowledge, and knows what is and isn't appropriate. there's still bad apples and there's still younger fans, but nowhere near mha. mha is full of teenagers, and that's not inherently a bad thing but it has become MUCH harder to enjoy that fandom space as an adult.

[thesolotomyhan]

ramon arellano felix as a dad would include

a/n: heyy mis carinos youre favorite clown is back with something none of you guys asked yet here i am sharing this with you all i was soft but also because i havent written anything for my arellano boys in a minute and i got inspired wow anyways i hope you guys enjoy my desmadre

taglist: @fandomnerd16​ @visintaes​ @sheeshgivemeabreak​ @artemiseamoon​ @umvirgo​ @redhairedace 

let me know if you want to be tagged! 

ok right off i want to mention ME MUERO imagining ramon with the mini versions of himself

like he would be the fun dad thats always playing with his kids and always wanting to be around them constantly :(

but also my heart hurts imagining this ball of emotions being so happy about having kids with you

like i cant with the thought of him in the very moment you tell him youre pregnant-

like this soft ass moment where hes just in disbelief,, holding your face- “embarazada? de verdad princesa?”

i just- him being so excited,, wanting to hear you say it again and again before he picks you up from so much excitement :((

wow would not even hold back before hes already walking you both over to announce it to all his siblings :(

and like enedina would be the most excited because you know she would :( and i just have a feeling dina is going to go all the fucking way to be the consentida aunt :((

wow? um she definitely gives me the vibes of her always being around you to make sure your ok,, making sure you and her little niece/nephew have everything available to you within arms reach-

because she adores you with mon :(

but also ramon being constantly worried about you when hes not with you even tho he knows youre the safest person breathing in mexico

and because he knows dina is there with you all the time puts him a little at ease-

like omg if something,, even the slightest look,, happens to you or your kid, he would shoot up all of tijuana becasue no one touches his familia- his overprotectiveness goes through the roof- i

i am crying at the thought of him always kneeling down and talking to your stomach,, like that is a daily thing he does all the time-

like :(( imagine him doing it right after you told him your pregnant or something :( i-

no but also because the very fucking moment he knew about his kids existence in you,, he would give up his crack usage :/

todo porque he wants to be the best dad figure for his kids :((

like he vows to that shit even more once he had his kid in his arms- excuse me let me go cry,,

im sorry this is supposed to be a dad hc yall im starting to get carried away-

BUt WOw i cant even explain the way i go soft imagining this cabron as a dad with his kids :((

because you know what i thought of that first came to mind?

UM NIEVE DATES WITH HIS KIDS ANYONE???

where he for sure would always give into them whenever they ask if they can get some ice cream for breakfast or something-

he would probably have his kids pinky promise to him to not tell you anything about skipping meals just to have an ice cream cone :((

and like having them happily eating their ice cream while he picks them up and sets them on his hip :((((

i am sorry,, but you cannot tell me park visits are not a thing right after having ice cream:(

like the thought of him pushing his kids on the swing set :(( or going on the slide with them is breaking my heart- :((

but ramon also being extra af with protectiveness with his kids :(

like him making sure everything and anything that could hurt his kids in anyway,, hes moving his kids away from them-

:(would make sure his mens guns and his own guns are away from his kids sights-

and moving a whole bunch of dangerous things away like in hard to reach places so his babies dont even get the glimpse of danger :((

all because he would never forgive himself if something he could have prevented hurts his ninos :(wow

:((((( AH he would love styling his kids hair all the TIME

omg i fucking cant at the thought of him having a daughter and loving to braid or putting his daughters hair in these little pigtails??? :(((

like him sitting her on his lap in the morning,, the both of them watching some kids show on the tv as hes just gently as fucking possible brushing her hair out :((( why do i do this to my s e lf

and he would like,, give her a little kiss to his ninas head like “mi princesa hermosa,, la mas guapa de la casa” :( WOW

or if he has a son,, the mini fucking version of him and dressing him up in those pinshis camisas :((

im just- holding in my tears imagining ramon being the dad that would love to bathe his kids :((

and like him having all these toys for them too,, playing with them all the time just to make his kids laugh-

fuckk- he would definitely do that cute shit where he would gather bath bubbles in his hands and place them on top of his kids hair :(( no one look at me

him def being the dad to like,, burrito wrap his kids in towels after their baths :(( carrying them around the house while they dry :(((

bro? picking out their clothes?? for them to wear?? because he has style??? :((((( im sorry

would always be seen walking around with his kids sitting on top of his shoulders when theyre old enough-

like my mon is a toll bby and his kids love getting upsies from him beacuse of that :(

wow would this one loving blowing all his fucking money if it means his kids have the best birthday party in all of mexico even if its like their first birthday loL

just christmas and birthdays especially being a mf highlight for him because he buys so much presents for them to have

decorating the house from top to bottom,, every year it’s somehow better than the last-

ok but also him buying everything and anything for his kids when he’s out with them

like before his kid even finishes their sentence that they want some car toy on the shelf

his ass is already shoving it into the cart because his little angels will get ANYTHING their little hearts desire ok?

i laugh because you probably scold him at times that he’s spoiling them too much

but he’s always on defense like “mi amor,, dime como les puedo decir que no a estas caritas preciosas????” :(( like low key tho he loves consintiendo his kids because he cant help it :(

oh my god??? you know what just attacked my mind that it made me start bawling??

the fact that mi ramon would love dancing nortenas with his kid/ daughter :((((((((

OR THE FACT THAT HE WOuld love taking you to bailes-

dancing with you all pegaditos to banda or nortenas,,, tu by los elegantes de jerez anyone??

AND HAVING HIS FUCKING KID IN BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU :(((

im definitely not in the club crying my soul out at the thought of him kissing the top of his kids head and then you-

his stupid smile and heart eyes as he leans his forehead on yours and tells you “como te adoro princesa, por darme la mejor bendicion de mi vida” :(( someone pls come hug me

no :( i swear all i do is hurt myself because get this-

like do you guys remember when miguel angel killed off mi amor gueritos family?? holy shit could you imagine the way ramon would go fucking frantic to make sure that doesnt happen to his own family :(((

i kid you not he would go through anything to make sure you and his kids dont even get a single little piece of hair touched-

like im almost positive ,, family man ramon would fucking THREATEN to the max if miguel angel even looks or breathes in tijuanas direction-

wOW like when all the plazas got together and left in s2

and miguel angel saying some shit like “con cuidadito eh,, dicen que en tijuana anda bien peligroso,, no quiero que nada le pasa a esa hermosa familia que tienes, ramon”- ALL FUCKI NG SMUG WHILE MIGUEL THREATEN S HIM AND THE TJ BOYS FOR LEAVNI G-

good god- and ramon not hesitating for a second to try and pull his gun out,, all heated- im sorry for bringing that thought up

but overall just such a soft, overprotective family dad whos always going to be there making you and his kids as happy as possible :((

[mull3ts]

(HEY HI HELLO YEAH GIRLIES IM SO SORRY I JUST SAID GIRLIES WELCUM 2 LATE NIGHT TALKS AT 11 PM WITH CAM BECAUSE THIS IS NOW A THING PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TREAT IT LILE A SLEEPOVER THIS IS NOW A SAFE PLACE TO HAVE WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A MENTAL SPIRAL SO I MIGHT NAME THIS SERIES THE SPIRAL SLEEPOVER WITH MS. CAMCAM OK YEAH LET'S START. )

The Spiral Sleepover with Cam, part one

THIS INVOLVES LOTS OF TYPOS AND A BUNCH OF UPPERCASE WORDS SO HERE WE GO, WELCOME TO ME POURING MY HEART OUT 2 THE INTERNET FUCKY DUCKY OK LET' START WITH THE OBJECT TECHNICALLY PERSON OF MY INTEREST LET'S NAME HIM KANNON BECAUSE WHY NOT SO KANNON AND I BARELY TALK WE LIKE TALK EVERYTIME WE HAVE SUM STUDENT COUNCIL ACTIVITIES AND THEN WE'RE THE BEST OF FRINDS. RIGHT? RIGHT. AND SO ALL OF A SUDDEN, OUT OF THE BLUE HE STARTS SAYING HI AND SMILING @ ME IN THE FUCKING HALLWAYS AND IM LIKE SHEEEE DAWG UR SMILE IS MIGHTY FOINE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF PLIS STAWP LOOKING @ ME LIKE TAHT YOU MAKE ME HURT INSUDE AND MAKE ME GO HOME AND RETHINK IF ITS OK TO BE SINGLE IN WHCIH IT TOTALLY IS AND IM JUST BEING SOUPER FUCKIN LONELY. ANYWAYS YEAH HE ALSO REMEMBERA SOUPER MINISCULE THINGS ABT ME THAT I PROB FORGOT YET HE FORGETS TO TEXT ME IM OK IM OK BUT WHAT THE FAWK I'D LIKE TO VERY VERY VERY INDIRECTLY SHOOT MY SHOT BCS THIS BITCHASS PLAYS CHESS TOO AND IS LIKE MEGA SMARTY PANTS IN WHICH HEY IG I AM TOO BUT ITS NICE TO SEE A BITCH WHO'S ALSO A BURNT OUT GIFTED STUDENT. HE ALSO HAS TONS OF SISTERS FOR SUM REASON WHICH IS LIKE A TOTAL GREEN FLAG IN mY BOOK AND HE'S ALWAYS LIKE LADIES FIRST LIKE NOT EVEN JOKNGLY LIKE I TRY MY HEARDESTBLIKE MY VERBVERY HARDEST TO MAKE HIM GO FIRST BUT HE'S LIKE OMFG CAMILLA GO FIRSR ALR AND WE WERE WALKING 2 COLLEGE ALGEBRA AND I WAS WALKING W HIM AND HE SLAPPED MY HAND SO HE COULD OPEN THE DAMN DOOR AND NOW I THINK I'LL JUST SOB. HE HAS FRECKLES. UGHHHHHH FUCK KANNON. ALSO FOR SUM FUCKIN REASON I'VE GOTTEN BACK INTO LORE OLYMPUS BCS I ONLY GET INTO THINGS SOMETIMES BCS I THINK SOMEONE'S HOT. LIKE THE INLY RESON I WATCHED TWILIGHT WAS BCS ROBERT PATTINSON WAS IN IT AND I WAS LIKE SHEE MF U A TOGAL HOTTIE. SO LIKE SAME CONCEPT VUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT HADES FROM LORE OLYMPUS WAS THE HOTTEST BITCH AND HE STILL IS BUT MAYBE I JUST HAVE DADDY ISSUES AND HE'S SOUPER DAMN HOT LIKE BRO IF U WERE REAL, IF HE IS REAL HMU LIKE PICK UP THE PHONE N DRAG ME TO THE OITS OF HELL W YOU LIKE HOME SKILLET LEMME B UR EVERYTHING. BUT NO I DO THINK PERSEPHONE AND HIM R THE CUTEST THO.

Anyways, that was really long and no one's prob going to read it, but if you do..plis feel free to dump your recent emotions into my ask box because I will give you some of the best advice I mught ever give. Also, if you have indirect flirting tips, let me know. Thank you ans happy Cam Cam Sleepover slash Spiral night. :)

[drakey-wakey]

yall keep screming crying shitting yourselves about outsiders not understanding certain kinks but do zero (abosulety 0%) effort to educate the mfs. MAYBE if youd say more about WHY kinks arent bad ppl would stop for a sec.

Not all, of course. Some of them are beyond saving from the twitter/tumblr/anti/purity brainrot.

like i see you and get where yr coming from but man i don't have the time or energy to pour my soul out justifying my right to exist as the human i am into the things im into just for some baby 15 year old to say "whatever pedo" and callout post me anyway

like yeah i could write up a big thinkpiece around the psychology of kink, and how it helps people relieve stress and work through traumas and emotions in a consensual helpful way Every Time i see some post talking about how being into x kink (cnc, ageplay, ddlg, hypno, furries but a little /too/ animal like) makes you a pedo groomer worthy of burning alive. but you know as well as i do 99% of the time theyre just going to ignore facts in order to launch harassment campaigns against other queer people online. I shouldn't have to explain myself to every single puriteen mob looking to skewer a degenerate freak. it isnt my responsibility to educate people and putting the onus on someone being harassed to do better education instead of the people harassing strangers over their private bedroom preferences doesnt really fly imo.

there are a lot of discourse blogs that DO educate others and try to be informative and help people! i dont think it's fair to say that we as a group do 0% effort to educate people because i follow a lot more bigger and well articulated accounts that do exactly what youre describing. expecting every single person to take up the cause when we're just here for a good time is kinda fucky, man. i only come online for laughs not to defend my right to exist against kids who should be my peers

trying to educate these people usually just paints a target on yr back and im not really about it tbh!

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon1]

Okay I am not reafy for this I dont think i will evet be It is 5:54 am and i am about to watch tge vampire diaries final episode ever.

Damon marrying steroline was the only good thing about that wedding tbh Vicky fucking doneven No No BONNIE IS NOT DEAD FUUUUUUUCK NOOOO ELENA NOOOO ENZOOOO FUCK THAT WAS INTENSE

OH MY FUCKING GOD ELENA IS AWAKE

FUCKING KATHERINE

HELLO BROTHERS FOR ME TO KNOW and FOR YOU TO… 😂😂😂😂 She hade THE devil wrapped around her fingers katherine pircse, katarina fucking petrova

Forbes house 😢 They are back in the scooiooooil FUUUUUCK i am just enjoying this too god damn much No damon is not dying no Oh Ric She is saying goodbye to caroline isn’t she ? FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE STEFAN OR DAMON WHY DID DAMON JUST COMPEL STEFAN??? WTF IS GOING ON OH MY FUCKI G GOD IF MY THEORY WAS RIGHT? WHAT IF DAMON ACTUALLY DIES OH MY FUCKI G GOD IN THE TRAILER ELENA WAS AT THE SCHOOL THEN THE OTHER TRAILER SHE WAS IN THE HOUSE WICH TURNED OUT TO NOT BE LENA OH MY FUCKING GOD IF HE DIES??? HE WONT DIE HE WONT FIE HE WONT DIE HE WONT DIE HE WONT DIE WHAT IS MATT DOING IN MF ??? GRAMS FINALLY TGE DEAD WITCHES DID SOMETHING GOOD WHERE IS DAMON BONNIE DIED? NO STEFAN DIED O LEXI I CANT STOP CRUING DAMON AND CAROLINE TYLER AND VICKY OMG GEREMY. OMG IS THAT LETTER FROM KLUAS

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Song of my life

I hate Jay, but I still think about breaking the moral code just to get them/he back.

I don't like their idiotic, bratty, ass, controlling, wimpy, diary of a stolen boyfriend, terror tactics, microsoft nerdy ass, clymphomaniac (Cliff Huxtable Nymphomaniac), military guerrilla style, bronchitis bitchass who snorrrrrrrttttttttssssss so fucking loud in the morning like a kerosene chemical bomb is stuffed up her fucking nose and into her black, gothic, lights her fingers, witch candles and fake dick complacencies all bundled in for an asshole she can't stop from seeking other people, with their own financial insecurities. But yet you steady roasting me??

I hate that I can't just get up and go get a job today. My ass is literally struggling just to pay attention on an application, then when I get frustrated that I can't find anything I'm even fucking qualified for, I get horribly upset about me not being able to do anything about it an just start wanking off for about 2-3hrs of porn just to get a high because I can't smoke weed anymore, and whenever I can't do that, I go to the store to buy processed food and sweets and pop that I don't need but I need to fulfill this need of a high with a sugar craving, and then I kick back into circulation because then I start thinking about how much of an asshole Jay and Jay gf was and then it repeats all over again.

I think too much.

I sneak drinks from my parents special alcohol because I can't even afford buying me some alcohol enough to drown my poisonous thoughts in. But then it gets worse if I drink too much, because then I think about hurting myself and the ptsd kicks in from my momma, dad, jay, that bitch, and everybody else that ever said any mean, rude, sarcastic, and judging me for not being able to grow up like a proper adult. When the truth is, I don't even want to?

And I mean the type the adult my mother and father became...

The corporate job, that you don't even like going to, but you do it because you gotta pay bills, wash your ass, cook, clean, and pay at restaurants because you wife likes to be dined out and took on trips every so often to feel loved and appreciated. Then there's the kids and their automatic dysfunctions to wanting to chip in or help out. All the while, when you come home, you're so tired and worn the fuck out, you can't even build on the dreams or the projects your ass retired to think about doing outside of work because your wife made you cut your hair and be somebody you weren't before you met her.

That's why I don't like marriage. Because I hate being controlled. But I know I need to if I want to settle down and at least have one freaking kid (which I admit took me a long time to even adjust to the idea of having kids at all, until much recently) because kids need to grow up within the first 8-10yrs with 2 parents to grow up with a secure attachment style. And I'm starting to fear, I don't wanna end up a workaholic like my mom who barely even had enough time for me working all the time to cover the household, and then now my dad is the one taking over that role and I see the difference in my sisters now, the lack of their father being able to emotionally support them, like he used to do with me. Cause when mom wasn't there, he was, and I'm glad he was. But now, I keep thinking that maybe if I didn't feel so fearfully attached to my mother to where I became anxious-avoidant, maybe I would have had a healthier relationships with my more feminine relationships and I wouldn't have started to feel like a low life about her not loving me, kissing me, or hugging me enough as a child, like I needed her to be there. It wasn't just me looking for attention or just whining for no reason, I remember crying to myself at night sometimes because I was afraid to call her to my room to help me. Because she was always at work.

And now you think I'm overthinking, but this is just an example of what my brain starts thinking within a whole hour and I just woke up. And by the way I hate the idea of being a depressed mother, postpartum-depression, my mother had it, but I've seen other mothers with it and how it affected the children to see their mothers sad and they became overpleasing, overworked children who blamed their mother's conditions on the reasons why they can't stop people pleasing and stop being too nice all the time, because they grew up in a southern background with biscuits, rice, and eggs that taught their children to serve and serve the mother and father as part of the household.

Sounds like slavery right?

What bout teamwork, cooperation, fairnesss. Not tyranny.

And that's where the loop starts all over again. Because I just came out of situation/unofficial relationship/bdsm-sex-slaveship/non-giving-a-fuck-cgl/toxicship/friendship that was ran by a tyrannist and a colonist working and then not working me to death, putting me on hold, expecting me to wait without a collar of endearment or commitment, and then getting mad when I leave to go find real love, but then my heart keeps fucking beeping like the little reservation alarms from Outback that HEYYYY BITTCHHHH YOUUUU FEEELLLL SOMMMMEETHHHIMGGGGGG THEERREEEEE FORR AAA REEASSSONNNNNNNNN! FUCKING STUBBORN YOUTH BITCH, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THEMMMMM!

And this is when I get into a fight with myself, because it doesn't even fucking matter because clearly the Co-Captain, Jay, doesn't wanna be involved with us, nor do we know if they were actually playing a role to please HITLER or they really are an abusive, retarded, bastard who doesn't deserve shit, because you know why....

YOUU RANNNN AWAAAYYYYYY TOOO AVOIIIIDDD HEARRRING THISSS DUMBB MFFFFF SAY GOODBYE TO YOU IN PERSON AND NOW WE DONT HAVE ANYYY FUCKKKKINGGG CLOOOSSURREEE AND YO ASSS ISSS STIIILLLL GETTINGGG BLOOCCKKKEDDD

And I hate when I delegate with my personalities, yes, I said personalities, but they mostly feel like masks, because it was an imaginary coping mechanism that my young version of me did to adapt to school, my house, my friends in FL, My friends in MS, and then of course my friends here, I'm always changing and customizing myself like a GTA character in the shop, ready to just take a fucking shower and lay in bed alll day to exhaust my engine, because I downloaded too many computer programs and learned too many parts about someone else's vagina that I wasn't just about to get ready to eat and now Im switching as I talk......

See what I mean. I go from writer nostalgic rant, to aggressive, over freak that just wants to get down, get nasty, get drunk, get high, and go see other people so I can just get over this fat jerk, that (we dont know if they even love us, but nancy drew wants a straight up confession not controlled by their institutionalized gf that hawks their phone and their mind everyday. THEY REEEKKKK OF THEIR FUCKING GF INFLUENCESSS. THAT MANIPULATIVE ASSS FUCKIING WHHOOORREEEE), but most obviously (school Ky talking) this person absolutely does not love me or her enough to respect both women, but especially me, as they disrespect me the most, block me to abandon me, an treat me like a sexy can of green beans to eat later in their storage cabinet, so yes they just see you as a casual sex option to go, no longer respects you, your mind, your body or whatever your opinion is.....because their off marrying the wicked witch of the Midwest as we speak....it could be any day now.

(Mad ky) Why the fuck haven't they got married yet? 2yrs is wayyy too fucking long to be engaged to somebody if they're saying they're gonna get married at the courthouse. Like wtfff just do it already, I can't hold this fat ass bitch any longer from running back to this mf house. Like Ky, leave this nigga alone, damn! We can find a finer ass nigga, with a better job, and a better heart, emotionally available to love you and respect you the way that you need to be treated, fuck that mf.

I hate this bitch (Love Ky) but why don't we just go over there and see if they'll talk to us.

HELLLLLL NAAAHHHHH I DONT EVEN FUCKING TRUST THAT HOE AND FUCKING HITLER ASS GF SO FUCKING PETTYY SHE MIGHT EVEN TRY CALLING THE COPS ON YOU CAUSE SHE DONT EVEN LIKE YO ASSS AND SHE FAKKEKKE ASSS FFUCCKKKK LIKE A MF KARENNNN YO

Forget that hoe, we out mf.

We can't even tell this mf that we even moved in between grand rapids and Flint because mom tried to push us down the stairs and had to live with our grandma who don't even want us there so now she keeps making up excuses because she has OCD and likes her house a certain way, her and her only.

Its been a month since I even got into it with her about a fucking hamster, now my ass is still in flint. Not even wanting to go see grandma till I have a fucking job, cause she always yelling at me about stupid little shit and I only got to stay there for a month. She even got on me about some canned collard greens, man do I highly dislike that mf mother too. Sorry, grandma but you a pain in the ass to live with too.

I hate my life rn....

And its so hard to stay positive. My life sounds like a cartoon that I didn't even write. My looney toon ass need a psychiatrist, but I can't even afford therapy until I find a job with actual healthcare insurance.

Cause my first ever therapy session was $188 that I haven't even been able to pay off yet, because a mf aint got no job, Tommy.

Like wtffff

I need a vacation. From my brain. And my body. My family.

Then there's that good ol' American Television called escapissmmmmmmmm