#what's with SJM's obsession with abuse against women

[extremely-judgemental]

Nesta explicitly stating she broke it off with Tomas because he wouldn't have gone to the wall with her looking for her sister in ACOTAR, and two books later the sexual assault plot to be included to turn it into 'Feyre was right all along' is the kind of character butchering and erasure I expect form SJM.

[nikethestatue]

Azriel is not some maladjusted incel, who's never been loved by anyone in his life, who doesn't understand the concept of a family, whose only concern is how to get mated, preferably to an unavailable woman, who just sits there obsessing over his scarred hands and suffers from extreme self-esteem issues.

Canonically, Azriel loves his mother and has a good relationship with her. She had a loving adoptive mother, a family and 2 brothers since he was 11 years old. He loves them and is very loyal to them, and he loves the three Archeron sisters, having accepted all of them right away, without any issues. He is liked by Feyre and by Nesta. They trust him, depend on him, and when he speaks, they listen to him. The Priestesses trust him and accept him and aren't fearful of him.

He knows perfectly well that he is handsome, imposing, and that women, and probably many men (hello Helion) are sexually interested in him. He is not some awkward weirdo who doesn't know how to speak or doesn't know how to handle a female. Again, in canon, it states that he's had lovers throughout the years, only he maintains discretion and doesn't flaunt his relationships.

He is canonically polite, well-mannered, well-spoken, and knows how to dance, not to mention is extremely respectful to people, especially women, and is very careful with how he approaches them and doesn't cross any boundaries with them. He doesn't tolerate the slander of females, and both Eris and Tamlin know that very well. By Nesta's own admission, he never spoke ill of her, never raised his voice to her and was the one person who said that it wouldn't be appropriate to keep her sword-making abilities from her.

He is not overly emotional (like Cassian), reckless (like Rhys and Amren), or irrational, like so many people around him. When he says 'no, this shouldn't be done' there is a reason for it. It's not because he wants to stifle anyone's free will, but it's because he is cautious and smart. If he says 'do not go there' or 'do not say that' or 'do not do that' they listen. And he is usually right. (Which makes me wonder why he still doesn't trust Amren. But that's a different discussion. )

The fanon version of Azriel, who needs 'fixing', who is a complexes-ridden weirdo, so doesn't know what he wants, who is lurching from one woman to another, who needs Gwyneth Berdara of all people to 'heal' him, who needs to come to terms with his 'internalized racism'? against the people who abused him and his mother and a ton of other people, is just...wrong.

I don't know what book some people are reading, but it's not what SJM is writing.

#freeAzrielfromhisGAfans

[ae-neon]

TW: SA

Disclaimer: this is about fiction and narrative, which are based on rhyme and reason, every action a character makes is a deliberate choice by the author so unlike with real life, it's possible to question the motive of these actions

I'm legit asking btw, please tell me if you know

Besides switching the narrative from Tamlin to Rhysand (going from Amarantha's dark obsession with Tam to her habitual abuse of Rhys) what did sjm gain from making Amarantha a rapist?

Character wise, she was already evil, with an actually interesting backstory so why?

In the "original" storyline, inspired by the Ballad of Tamlin, it makes sense for Amarantha to want Tamlin, ultimately the story boils down to a heroine saving the hero from the fairy queen. Therefore the idea of her assaulting him once she finally has him is in character and in alignment with the story

But in the context of final product, what was the point of Amarantha's sexual abuse of Rhysand? It only ever matters once, and that's so Rhysand can skirt the responsibility of his own actions against Feyre.

So why not just have Rhys not assault Feyre? Have him be cruel but specifically forgo the sexual element

Ianthe, at least, seeks power in every possible way. It makes sense that she would go to such lengths, especially with how bloodlines hold magic etc

But Amarantha? What's the point? She could just as easily enslaved Rhysand or held someone hostage or made a bargain.

My personal opinion is that sjm has a twisted, but unfortunately common, notion of sexual interest - whether reciprocated or not - being a badge of honour, for women but especially for men.

She thinks she's showing us how desirable and literally irresistible the character is by making them a victim

[0lk0s]

rhysand ramble, idk if i make sense

i absolutely despise rhysand. like i need stronger word than hatred to convey my feelings regarding him.

BUT IM EVEN MORE PISSED ABOUT THE WASTED POTENTIAL OF HIS CHARACTER!!!

in the first book he was sort of interesting character and I was actually looking forward to learn more about him. because he was actually giving morally grey character, but of course sjm had to make him the good guy while still using his 'moral greyness' as a shield against all the heinous things he did. she took a sort of morally grey character and transformed him into goody two shoes who can't do no wrong and all he does is make the world better place. like???!?!

if he was presented as 'yes, i did those terrible things and no, i don't feel remorse, because i FEEL like i had to do them' then maybe i wouldn't hate him. because i don't hate him for the things he did, more so i hate him for not being able to admit that he did them and it's wrong. and im talking about UTM, illyrian women, CoN women and children, his abusive behavior to Feyre, his weird vendetta against Nesta. all of those are wrong. period. there should be no debate, readers should be able to say 'oh, what he's doing is wrong' but instead we got rhys/feysand stans arguing that he is 'morally grey' and he had to do it blah blah blah. is sjm to blame for presenting it this certain way? yes! but also you as a reader should think about what you're reading and not parrot what is written on the paper. because news flash i can write 'color red doesn't exist' and from my pov it might seem like it really doesn't exist, but you know that is not true.

but back to his potential. his character could have gone so many interesting ways. we could have gotten redemption arc because he wanted to be a better man(fae male?) for feyre. we could have gotten corruption arc and feyre having to fight him. or he could have stayed in the morally grey area for all i care. it would also be interesting to see how his power troubles him and the question of what is okay and what no to do with it. his trauma could have been also addressed and discussion about how it manifests in his obsessive need to be in control would also be nice. but no we got this PERFECT 500 year old male with some nightmares who did bad things but only to protect the people he loves, but other than that he'd NEVER done anything bad in his life.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that all the nuance surrounding him disappeared because sjm had to self insert herself into feyre lmao.

im down to have civilized discussion but idk if it's possible in this fandom.

[novissa]

ok not renegades related but i see you have something against sjm and i live for the drama so what are your opinions on her? personally i love her writing but i understand she's kinda problematic and i also just like hearing other opinions lol

okay so this is probably going to end up being way too long but basically i do really like her writing but yeah she is problematic. i used to be really obsessed with tog and acotar and i even used to have a sideblog for it (even though i didn’t really use it). and anyway i appreciate how great her characters and worldbuilding AND plot are and not only are all of those three things really good, it’s also really hard to have all three at once. but there’s all that stuff about just how much she separates females and males and how that Territorial Male Bullshit is toxic, and obviously the fact that the character of color, whose kingdom has been so oppressed by adarlan, has to die so that the white main character can save them is :/ and of course what i was talking about in the previous ask. she started out with very minor characters being queer, like those two fae husbands in hof, and then she heard people wanting more representation. so... you probably know about the problematicness of mor’s story, but i’m going to rant. it’s really toxic that mor’s the only rep we have for wlw that’s major, and she’s spent her whole life hiding it. and i don’t remember much of the details but this also really hurts azriel’s character, too, because now it’s suddenly being portrayed as her being so terrified to come out to him (not saying that she can’t be scared to come out. just that it’s written in a way that suggests that he’d be angry??). and there’s also this. and i actually do like manorian, but it’s annoying that manon, a witch who constantly talks about hating men, is straight. (obviously she’s bi anyway, but that’s not the point) because i really don’t mind manorian that much but it’s annoying that the two main fan ships that are queer (malide and chaorian) have every character paired off into a straight ship. also it kind of feels like she just... took dorian and manon and made them a ship to disprove malide and chaorian?? and more of her treatment of poc is terrible, and most of her ships are kind of abusive. and i don’t think she like... just randomly decides to be like “i’m going to be racist!” because that’s seriously what some anti sjms are like but all of this doesn’t just come out of nowhere. just because people say that it wasn’t meant that way doesn’t lessen the harm it causes. it’s clear that the way she describes women like ianthe and amarantha is coming from a place of internalized misogyny. but i do acknowledge that her writing IS good, and i respect everyone who loves her books, and honestly i feel like a lot of anti sjm stuff gets really immature. ((kind of off topic but i find the books people think are better in the tog series really interesting? because you’ll get a lot of people saying that the first two books are the best, but you’ll also get people saying that they’re boring until the third book. my opinion is that they’re each better than the other in completely different ways?)) and anyway i know i’ll go insane when nesta’s book comes out and there were so many things about acotar and tog that still make me go feral. just... i know the rattle the stars quote is very much overused, but it’s still !!!! also some things about tog are just so powerful, like the slave uprising?? and the fact that in the end, when aelin faces maeve she doesn’t have her power. she’s just herself. and i cried a lot in kingdom of ash even though i don’t cry much when reading books (sidenote: why did the one group of characters i actually cared about* have to die??). and the “you were the one who let me out” quote from acotar (i really can’t remember the exact wording of the first part) is just so !!!!!! but anyway her writing isn’t as terrible as everyone says it is but i don’t stand for all the problematic parts of her writing

*that’s a lie, obviously. i cared about most of the characters actually fdjskhfj

[sarah-bae-maas]

Why do you like Sarah J Maas' books so much?

So I do just love a good story, but I have reasons beyond that. If you want to read them, the abridged version is below the cut. Get ready to get personal anon, and just remember, you asked for it 😂

So I’ve been writing and reading since I was very young. I have notebooks filled with stories from the ages of 4 onwards before we all had laptops and computer time at school that contain all the tales I used to write for myself. Reading was my favourite thing in the world, and although I loved writing I had yet to realise how much I needed it. 

I grew up with an incredibly abusive father. It didn’t start really effecting me until I cut him out of my life (I haven’t seen or spoken to him in over 6 years) but none the less I have to acknowledge his role in what my life became. 

The first signs of my eating disorder came at a very young age. I would say around 7. These signs only escalated until I was 12-13, which is when I first started having bouts of binging and self-starvation, which was on top of an already hazardous diet. I was a competitive athlete by the time I was 9, in a sport where we were weighed. You can imagine what this might have done for my psyche. My coach didn’t understand that, and looking back I feel sick at the way he treated me, a child, when he was a man I was meant to look up to and idolised. 

When I was 14, my family and I were homeless. For 2-3 months, I shared the floor of my grandmothers study floor with my older brother, the divorce that was so desperately needed between my parents was so bitter that my biological father refused to let us have the money we needed from my childhood home to buy a new one, even if it meant his children had no where to live. During this time, our car, full of our possessions, was robbed. This, although a small event, made me feel violated in a way I hadn’t before. That day when I went to school, my teacher gave me a detention for being late, and after (in tears) when I explained why, he made me walk through the bustling school with the roll to give reception. He shamed me, and made everyone watch. Again, a small event that I will never forget.

I was 13-14-15 when the depression hit me hard and I started experimenting with self harm. I also developed pretty severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Books were still my safe space, but by the time I was 16 I had completely abandoned writing. Anyway, my mother found out, and I was sent of to a psychologist. This was the best thing for me, and I will always be grateful that I was extended the help by my psychologist at a time when I desperately needed it. She helped me start to overcome by issues with my body, what I would say I still struggle with most today, and helped me through my depression. I was diagnosed with OCD, depression an anxiety. She still to this day doesn’t know the full extent of my eating disorder, and even now, as an adult who is incredibly open and well educated, I feel it’s my burden to bear. As for my anxiety, she wanted me on medication but with the amount of medical forms I had to fill out for school I didn’t want to have to explain myself, so I always refused. My OCD was bad, and luckily I had a really understanding doctor who prescribed me the steroids I need to fix the skin I had ravaged in my routines. 

My older brother, who I love dearly, so, so much, is on the spectrum and has depression. Living with him is incredibly difficult. His bouts of violence clashed harshly against my own mindset. My mother, as you can imagine, has PTSD, which was also something I just couldn’t deal with. My baby brother is a lil cutie pie and so pure of heart it makes me melt. The only time he’s an issue is when he plays those bloody online streaming games. He’s uses up all the internet and he turns into a bastard 😂 But he’s a teenager so I’ll forgive him. 

I know what you’re thinking. Zoe, what the hell does this have to do with SJM? Well, friend, I read her books when was 16 or 17, i can’t remember, and I was reading about these amazing, strong, fierce independent women and I was like holy hot damn I love this. 

Reading Throne of Glass and A Court of Thorns and Roses made me want to write again. 

And if I had never started writing again, I never would have recovered. Reading Sarah’s books ignited a long burnt out flame in me. I started creating characters, creating worlds, and I started writing fan fiction for her which led me to this community. I started taking pictures of myself again, which I know wounds bizarre, but from the ages of 12-18 the only photos of me are mostly my school photos. There was a period of about 3 months were I couldn’t walk from a surgery gone not to well, and instead of falling into a slump about losing the use of one of my legs, I was fine. Because I had Aelin, I had Feyre, and most importantly I had my own characters and my own story. I recovered, thankfully, but I still have chronic pain in that leg, and you know what? I don’t care. If Elide can get through life with it so can bloody I. 

Because of Sarah’s books, I’ve started to really love myself. 

I haven’t got flaws, I have interesting character traits. 

I never would have done my university course if it had not been for Sarah’s books. Hell, I might not have graduated high school at all (first girl to on my biological father’s side to do it, my older brother was the first boy). I never would have been accepted into academic societies for my grades, I never would have been able to rub my success in the face of those who didn’t believe in me. I never would have received a place at a university in London nor gotten grants to do it. I might never have had the guts to move out at 18 and start my life in the city, being a young, powerful, finically independent woman. 

So Sarah’s books could turn to shit. I’ve critiqued them before, I have no problem continuing to do so, but I will always, always been grateful, and they will always have a special place in me. I will always support the author who has no idea how much she supported me. 

People often tell me I’m wasting my potential as a writer - I have the grades to to law, science, medicine, and the brain to back it up - and I always respond with one this. Culture, art, literature, is as integral to society as those things. And I am happy to say I’m a writer, proud even, and thrilled to be where I am now. 

Even if London’s weather is shit and I don’t have a buff fae male to keep me company 😂

[booksapphic]

Opinions/Analysis of ACOWAR’s Queer Characters

Considering that I have been vocal about queer rep for this fandom, I wanted to discuss the four queer characters that we got in ACOWAR and go through the good and the bad for each. Please note that, especially in regards to Mor, I approach this from a representation standpoint, how the way queer characters and queer identities are discussed in relation to how queer readers will interpret them. Trying to discuss queer identities and characters from the character’s perspective would make this monster even longer than it already is, and I would prefer to leave those discussions to those from more abusive/homophobic backgrounds than my (healthy, more heteronormative than homophobic) background. @illyrianazriel has been discussing this pretty consistently, and I highly recommend this post in particular for a discussion of Mor’s queer identity as a character. Finally, please realize that I am only one person, and while I have tried to take into account the opinions of others I have talked to, it is impossible for one bisexual to speak for all bi/gay/pan people. This post is meant to be part of the discussion of queer rep, and I welcome other queer people adding your thoughts and opinions. (If you’re straight, please make sure that all engagement is respectful.) 

I didn’t really have any issues with Nephelle or Thesan. They were both highly respected, in loving same sex relationships. Nephelle in particular was viewed as a hero, an idol, whose actions are meant to be emulated and upheld by both the heroes and the reader. My only issue with either of them was the use of “lover,” particularly in the case of Thesan. I find “lover” to have a very sexual connotation which is uncomfortable when queer people are so often simplified to just what they do in bed. I realize that “lover” was also used in regards to straight relationships, but because of the sex-obsessed view of queer people, it still makes me feel uncomfortable. Though Nephelle’s “lover” eventually becomes “wife,” I was uncomfortable that Thesan’s “lover” isn’t referred to even as “partner,” which takes away the solely sexual connotation. They mentioned that their relationship was ignored UtM for what Amarantha would do to him, and so it is understandable then that he isn’t “consort” or “husband” yet, but in the spin offs that are after ACOWAR, if he’s brought up in that, I hope that one of those other terms will be used. Additionally, it bothers me that in the ACOTAR universe, there is still no mention of same sex mates. The mating bond in this world is very heteronormative, but it would be awful for SJM to make a world in which all Soulmates who experience True Love are heterosexual. If anyone has any additional information from something she said on tour, etc., please hit me up. 

While I (and many others) adored Helion, he very very narrowly escapes the “slutty bisexual” trope. Even our first contact with him in ACOWAR, the letter he sends accepting the invitation to the High Lord meeting–what should be solely professional correspondence–is said to be readable “between all the innuendo,” (293). Though he is mostly professional in the meeting itself, it isn’t long when meeting personally–without the “’swagging prick performance’” (450)--that he brings up sex. His sexuality is described to Feyre by Rhys as “Helion favors both males and females. Usually together in his bed” (450-451). While this alone would be enough to make him part of this negative trope, I believe it is avoided for a mix of four reasons. First of all, there are multiple other queer people in this book who are not viewed negatively (as above, with Nephelle and Thesan). Secondly, his sexuality, while joked about, isn’t insulted and is treated in a similar fashion as the jokes made about Cassian’s sex life in ACOMAF (this isn’t really possible to prove, per say, but it personally read as similar teasing to me). Thirdly, we are given proof of him being in love with, of having feeling and emotion for, a single person. It would have or could have been a true monogamous relationship if it was up to Helion, but the Lady of Autumn “’chose to stay’” (455). This removes part of this trope by showing that bisexuals can have romantic feelings for people and care about things other than sex. Finally, Helion is highly respected in the narrative/by the readers, perhaps only second to Rhys. This is shown multiple times. During the meeting of the High Lords, it is said that only three of the current High Lords were present for the last war against Hybern, being Beron, Rhys, and Helion (436). This in of itself sets Helion equal to Rhys in terms of experience, knowledge, and (at least political, if not magical) power. After the meeting, it is written in the narrative that “[Helion’s] muscled body was only a mask–-to hide the cunning mind beneath. I wondered if Rhys had picked that up from him” (452). Our Hero has this same trait–-a trait that the readers love him for–-and he learned it from Helion. Helion taught things to the Hero. I think that speaks for itself. Additionally, Helion is treated as a friend, invited to have dinner with the Night Court, as Kallias and Vivane are (459). Very specific battle plans are discussed between the Night Court and him, and he is intelligent and largely professional at the meetings. Then, in the final battle, it is said that “If Rhys[’s beast form] was a flying terror crafted from shadows and old moonlight, Helion was his daytime equivalent…. Together, my mate and the High Lord of Day unleashed themselves upon Hybern” (645-646). Once again, Helion is set as an equal to our Hero. Once again, this speaks for itself. Now, with all four of these factors at play, I would say that Helion avoids the damaging “slutty bisexual” trope. If one of these four were removed, I would argue he falls into that trope. As such, fandom should make sure that in the way we talk about Helion in the future does not remove the respect and complexity canon gives him. (I personally haven’t really seen anything that has made me uncomfortable yet, but if I do see an issue, I will call that person out on it.)

Now, on to Mor, by far the most controversial of the group. Her sexuality is told to Feyre as “I do find pleasure […] in both…. But I’ve known, since I was little more than a child, that I prefer females. That I’m… attracted more to them over males. That I connect with them, care for them on that soul-deep level” (589). I know there is currently a debate going on in the fandom over whether she is gay or bisexual, but I would like to say that this reads as bisexual to me. In fact, this is the only part of Mor’s queerness that I thought was well done: I, along with many other bisexuals I’ve talked to, identified with this description of her sexuality. I know that this is how I feel about my own attraction, and past that, it can be appreciated that there is a bisexual in media who is not viewed as “50/50″ like so many are, that can like both while still having a preference one way or another. Obviously this is a discussion that should be had among the bi and gay girls in this fandom but: people have called her lesbian. People have called her bisexual homoromantic. For the number of self-identifying bisexual women in this fandom who have said their attraction matches what is described here, I would call her bisexual. Though there are people who find the split between romantic and sexual orientations helpful, and there are bisexual homoromantic women in this fandom who identify with Mor’s description of her sexuality, I think that calling her bisexual homoromantic ignores the fluidity of sexuality that many bisexuals (myself included) feel. The discussion of labels is something that the fandom should continue to have, but in the fandom, if you are not bi/pan/gay, tread carefully when trying to name her sexuality. 

That description was the only good thing about Mor’s coming out. Everything else was, as my gay friend and I said while discussing it, A Heterosexual Mess. 

The scene starts off with Mor deciding to tell Feyre because Feyre got angry at her and Mor felt bad. That’s gross. No one should have to come out because their friend was shitty to them. No one should have to come out as a form of apology. No one should be coerced into coming out. And this might be a nitpick, but there is a line from this moment: “[Feyre] reached for [Mor’s] hand, prying it off her arm” (589). I know this was meant to be comforting, but a light caress on her hand to see if Mor was okay taking it would be a lot better than a straight person trying to force comfort on a queer person because They Are Understanding and Accepting. Later on in the scene, Feyre specifically says, and Mor agrees, that “’Rhys wouldn’t care–I don’t think anyone in Velaris would’” (592). But Mor continues to stay in the closet for the sake of Azriel’s happiness.  All of these things put straight comfort and happiness over queer health. All of these things make it seem as if queer people owe something to straight people. And we don’t. 

And then, at the end of the scene, Feyre says to Mor, 

“I’ll stand by you no matter what. Until then… Your secret is safe. I won’t tell anyone–even Rhys.” “Thank you,” [Mor] breathed. I [Feyre] shook my head. “No–thank you for telling me. I’m honored.” (592)

A queer person thanks a straight person for not outing her, which would negatively impact at the very least her mental health and relationships, if not her authority and power over her past abusers. The straight person replies that she is “honored.” Honored for what? That her friend has been hiding herself because of a homophobic society for 500 years and can only admit who she is to someone she’s known a matter of months? (I know some people find it easier to talk about these things with people they know less rather than more, but it shouldn’t be a big enough deal for Mor to be scared about it in the first place.) Honored that straight people have to be told that people they know are queer because otherwise they’ll assume everyone is straight? Coming out is not “honoring” someone. It’s telling someone, anyone that you trust to not hurt you, something about yourself. Coming out is a product of a heteronormative society. 

The fact that Mor has been hiding it for five hundred years is also disgusting. Considering that Helion’s, Thesan’s, and Nephelle’s queerness are all accepted, this would suggest then that the Night Court is homophobic while other courts/societies are not. There is no reason to make any place in fantasy homophobic. If you can write about a bunch of hot people with endless magic, you can write about a society where homophobia doesn’t exist. I was reading another meta about Mor earlier today by @my-name-is-fireheart, where she says that, with the Court of Nightmares being what they’re being, they would have made Mor’s life worse for her being queer. I don’t disagree. But then she says:

Realistically, I don’t know how Maas could have avoided Mor’s painful backstory given what we know of her family. The only answer is that Maas could have written Mor as out from the beginning, and…then what? Had the court of nightmares, in all its patriarchal glory, be okay with her as bi? Be fine with her preferring females? Be happy with a daughter who was LGBT? Sure that is all wonderful but…not realistic given who Keir is. So…the only way to really change Mor’s backstory is to change who her family is.

Yes, she could have written Mor as out from the beginning. She doesn’t need to change her family to do this. I’m not suggesting that Mor come out to her family while they still had physical power over her, but once she was in the Court of Dreams, she very well could have. It would just add another layer of hatred and resentment from her family towards her, her power over them, and her freeing herself from them. Also, you can come out to one group of people and not another. She could be out and free to the Court of Dreams, Velaris, and Prythian and not out to the Court of Nightmares. How would they find out? It’s not like she’s going to bring anyone she’s dating with her on her job (not until “dating” becomes “possibly engaged” or “married/mated” at least). Would she sit on the throne and make a proclamation of her sexuality? Maybe I’m the outlier in this community, but that’s certainly not how I did it. 

And I know, I know that coming out is hard. And that, as Mor says, you want to keep people from “shaming me, hurting me about this one thing that has remained wholly mine” (590). But by doing that, you are still putting fear above happiness. You are still putting straight comfort over queer health. And I really wouldn’t want a young version of me seeing this rep and doing that. Because I did it for a long, long while, and it nearly destroyed me. I don’t want it destroying another young queer girl, just coming into her sexuality. The scars and the pain of being queer fade generation to generation, but I will do everything in my power to end that pain altogether. And that means starting here, making sure that the media that failed me does not fail others.

With everything, I fully expect one of the spinoffs to be about Mor, her coming out to everyone, and her finding happy queer love. With all the pain Mor has gone through, she cannot pushed to a subplot as part of one of the other books–or worse, be pushed to the side to make room for a heterosexual ship. (And honestly, if this scene is gone back on and she ends up with Azriel, I will throw a fit. Because all that says is, “if you try hard enough, you can be happy with a man!” which is even worse than not having this at all.) If you are going to spotlight a queer character’s pain, you need to spotlight their happiness as while. And for future books and future queer narratives, the best way to prevent this would be to create a world in which homophobia does not exist, or doesn’t exist enough to force a queer character to stay in the closet. Because while coming out is a product of a heteronormative society, queer pain is a product of a homophobic society. Queer people aren’t tortured about their sexuality because of their sexuality, but because of how others view it. Yes, homophobia is something that needs to be worked through, but as a straight author writing about writing narratives of queer pain and homophobic societies in a fantasy book, you are perpetuating the very thing we are working to get rid of. You are contributing to the problem, instead of helping to fix it. And you are the one who is going to have to look yourself in the mirror every day and determine if you can live with that. 

*All page numbers taken from the US Target edition hardback.

[nikethestatue]

normally I’m not really bothered by male characters getting lashings but people compare azriel to tamlin, saying he’s going through his tamlin fase and even call him illyrian graysen. like? sjm hates tamlin and graysen en ADORES azriel. i don’t know just say u don’t like him or don’t like elriel instead of comparing him to abusers. they do all this and then still ship gwynriel because gwyn is perfect for him even tho they compare him to tamlin (who is a violent man) and gwyn has extreme trauma also bc of violent men and isn’t even comfortable around all men yet? like if azriel is so horrible why would you want him with gwyn? not one person ever made sense to me and they never will

I know it's been a while since I got this question, but I feel like it's pertinent right now again.

It's perfectly fine not to like a character. Just like when we don't like every person we meet in RL, not all characters are made for every reader. A perfect example is in the books, actually, and it's Nesta and Rhys. They can't stand each other, and it's cool. They don't jive. No explanations or long-winded research is needed to confirm their mutual dislike. We move on and that's that.

Now, personally, I am a stickler for the text when I write or read any theories or analysis. So if something isn't supported by the text, then it's just your own personal ramblings, to which you are entitled, but then it's not research--just an opinion piece. When someone comes and argues with your opinion piece, you can't have a histrionic reaction and say 'I am right, and you are wrong!'

So, let's say you compare Azriel to Tamlin. Most of what we know about Tamlin comes from observations (mostly Feyre and Rhys), his relationships with women and his friend(s), aka Lucien. We also saw how he treated this people and his obsessive adherence to antiquated practices.

If you are going to try to compare him to Az, there is absolutely nothing in the books that's even comparable--we've never really seen Azriel with women, beyond a non-relationship with Mor and attraction to Elain. He has never lost his temper with them, he never growled, locked them up, debased them, almost struck them, kept info from them, locked them up, etc. He never pushed them into a relationship with him, he didn't betray his friends or his people and hasn't sold his loyalty to an enemy over his need to possess a female. The same goes to his friendships--all of which are genuine and he may not be terribly emotional, but he won't treat them like crap, even when he disagrees with them.

He lost his temper ONCE, not against a woman, or a friend, but against someone whom he perceives as an enemy. Tamlin lost his temper every other page. Azriel recommended twice in 5 books that someone doesn't put themselves in unnecessary danger--Mor and Elain. Both times he had significantly more info about the level of danger that they would be subjecting themselves to. (If a friend of yours recommended that you dont wander the streets in a shady part of town at midnight, is it being controlling, or being a good friend?).

It's all disingenuous.

It would be easier to just say, hey, I ship Elain and Lucien, and hence I don't want Elain with Azriel, because it ruins my ship. And I'd like him with Gwyn, because I like Elain and Lucien, and if Azriel is interested in Gwyn, there won't be a conflict.

Writing giant metas about Azriel being a dangerous potential abuser and then saying that he is totally fine with a r*pe victim who'd never lived outside a temple, is fucking weird and illogical. Just say 'I don't like the character'--totally valid--or, 'he screws up my ship, so I'd rather have him with someone else'.

There is no evidence for any of these behaviours in the books, simply because he is not written as an abuser or some dangerous, short-tempered psycho. If you will insist on that, it's just your your own prejudices and headcanons talking, not actual text.

(Finally, for one moment, let's try to bring logic back into this--would Azriel be permitted, as a character, to train abused women in an equivalent of a women's shelter, by SJM, if he was dangerous to women? If he had a bad temper? If he couldn't control himself, and was naturally violent? The words she used to describe him are 'gentle and unwavering' and 'solemn and patient', as well as 'aloof'. Tamlinesque much?)