#what's an upcoming new year without a few existential crises directly beforehand i guess
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realizing that the average person in your family lived to about 65-70 years old, with several years of intensive mental + physical deterioration before that, and then realizing that you're nearing middle aged at only 25 years old as a result. that's. something.
#what's an upcoming new year without a few existential crises directly beforehand i guess#like yeah i know i have a genetic condition that will cause my body to degrade + lose functionality over time#but realizing that im already halfway through my approximate timeline before my body kicks it into high gear#seeing my mother when i spoke to her last at only 45 years old having every medical complication possible left and right#mine#rambles#delete later
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