#what’s crazy is that it feels like there’s more life in the stalag than there is in the men on base

[thatsrightice]

“Bucky Cleven, the impervious, the invincible, was gone. If he couldn't make it, who could? His good friend, Bucky Egan, didn't talk much that night.”

“The loss of Bucky Cleven over Bremen and Bucky Egan over Münster seemed to have cut the heart right out of the the 100th. Without them the 100th was a shadow.”

"What I can't really handle is that when Cleven and Egan were still around, the men were happier. With them gone, the heart of the 100th has stopped beating."

“It wasn't only that my friends were gone. The spirit was gone. The laughter. Ham, Brady, Warsaw, Crankshaft, Solomon, Murph-always good for a laugh-were gone. Under Dart Alkire and Chick Harding as Group Commanders, anything went with the 100th and it did. When Bucky Cleven and Bucky Egan were setting the tone of the 100th, there was dash. There was derring-do. Flying the war was an adventure.”

— Harry Crosby in his memoir, A Wing and a Prayer

[whirlpool-blogs]

whirlpool's personal MOTA fic recs!

I've actually been dying to put this together for a while now...today is as good an excuse as any! I might not know everyone's tumblrs vs ao3 names so I will NOT be offended if you tell me to correct something!! <3

the big list = going alphabetical order in my folder because YES I do download my favorites, it's like having your own little bookshelf!!

non-clegan fics:

nine mothers' sons by @reallylilyreally (truly beautiful, breathtaking, and **THE** John Brady bible for the fandom so make sure you pray to it every night)

at your heels by @reallylilyreally (this one is Ev Blakely, another really beautiful story that helps you understand just why Crosby's memoir speaks of Blakely with such love and affection)

clegan (or gale-centric, or john-centric) fics:

A Direct Solution by @sweaterkittensahoy (Gale & Marge proposition Bucky...so cute and so hot)

ain't it easy? by @stereobone (dom/sub with john as the dom but ohhh man it's so much more than just that!!!!! this fic is so full of FEELS. and it's also HOTTTT. and also the FEELSSSSS.)

all the rest of what I want with you by @london-cowboy (the level of care that went into writing this fic is insane and impeccable. down to its own internal timeline, little egan kiddos, and the ANGST. but it's all worth it, I promise!!)

back home where you're from, that's the measure of a man by wolfhalls (nice little oneshot of the bucks, I love the back-and-forth of their dialogue in this one, it really does feel like two people who know each other well)

bittersweet between my teeth by @blixabargelds (post-war adjustment...love when the two majors are a little messy and a little sad and also john calls gale the prettiest thing he ever saw so there's that <3)

bluebirds singing a song by ourdarkspirits (Marge jumps Bucky's bones. Then Gale joins. Super fun, super hot!)

Close and Yet Closer by Anonymous (LITERALLY THE MOST!!!!!! FIC OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! Gale is a little bit mean and John is a lot bit sweaty. Like all the time. it's amazing and you should read it and it WILL change your life.)

Corpse Song by birdwif (oof. john is miserable in the stalag he's scratching at the door he's gnawing his own leg off.)

deep breath baby by @defnotanarc (um FISTING. yeah. intense and delicious. side note sometimes the world isn't fair and people who are really talented and amazing at drawing are also really good WRITERS too LIKE WTF!!)

DOG DINNER by @wompire (super interesting writing style, extremely poetic and striking. hits you right in the gut.)

everything and the kitchen sink by @swifty-fox (YEAH THIS ONE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE TOO. modern au where gale is a professional dom and john is a journalist who hornily consents to both (1) fucking around, and (2) finding out. in top ten fics of the decade in general tbh)

Freed From Desire by @feyd-meowtha (yoooooo such a fun and free and sexy fic!!! such a great writing style and such a cool remix of all the characters we know and love!)

He wears his love around his neck by kasugayamaisforlovers (Gale character study, he tries to run his little gay thoughts away which is always so fun to see)

hold me like a knife by storm_warning (tw: self-harm, this REALLY gets into John's self-destructive stalag spiral and it's super visceral and wet and heart-wrenching and written with such, such care and precision)

Hound Within the Heart by Anonymous (fairy-tale esque, gets super crazy and pushes the limits of reality but in the best ways possible)

I Don't Wanna Be Alone Tonight by @johnslittlespoon (cuddling for warmth <3 and then a little more <3 <3 so sweet and intimate!!)

I Like A Bad Boy by @nicijones (modern college AU and bucky is a fratty fuckboy type & in this fic he DOES punch a guy for Gale and it's all very hot and sweet and a delight to read)

i wish you wouldn't tell me (about your hawaiian party) by @whitetrashjj (when the fuckbuddies thing gets messyyyyyy because gale catches feelingsssssss, so delicious and meaty!!)

if that isn’t love, it’ll have to do by @irregularcollapse (ALWAYS such incredible character reads from this author, never misses. also facefucking. also FACEFUCKING <3)

i'll be seeing you by @puffanities (a quick 1.6k oneshot but still packed with some really great characterization and powerful language!! 'when the numbers of planes don’t match...')

i'll find you before the dust settles by butidontreallycare (a Westworld AU!! super cool)

in our bedroom after the war by @stereobone (one of those fics that's just like. a pillar of the community, y'know? iconic. classic. eternal.)

Into the Unknown by Melanie_Mikaelson (big win for john whump enjoyers. BIG win. like 20+ chapters of winning)

it ain't for meatball by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky. Curt puts the dog collar on Bucky....and it's HOTTTT arf arf i'm barking just like bucky is in this fic...)

It's Not Love, but It's Fun by @sweaterkittensahoy (Curt/Bucky, 500 words so it's short and sweet just like Curt ahahahaha, ANYWAY still such an interesting little read regardless!)

judgment by the hounds by @puffanities (PG, very visceral and tender apology after the stalag fight scene <3)

level-off maneuvers by wormringers (sweet little oneshot of the Bucks in London)

little fix by ForASecondThereWedWon (Algeria <3 <3 you just kNOW those two gay pilots were sniffing and huffing and licking each other's sweat.....this author GETS it)

love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse (fics that make you go WEEEEEEEE!!!! every word, every physical action that these characters take is SO precise and well-written. truly like wrapping a soft bathrobe around yourself and also the bathrobe is incredibly sexy and also they're sucking each other off post-game but PRE-shower. also gale's dad!! also margie!! truly such a well crafted AU)

make you feel alive by @sig-nifier (really sweet little oneshot of gale being a little protective of john. and i am ALWAYS a sucker for the 'call off your dog' trope... and it's done perfectly here!)

meet me at the chapel by @swifty-fox (still in-progress and SUCH a creative, inventive universe!! outlaw john you will always be famous to me!!!!)

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by @swifty-fox (swift can really weave a story like no one else. so many lines that pack a punch. and in the end, they make it <3)

my type by @spaceshipkat (this one is SOOOOO well-written, I always go so crazy for the dialogue!!! such a great push-pull dynamic in this fic)

night terror by @antiquitea (hot! and sweet! and HOT! and angsty!!!!! highlights include: gale gives john a literal countdown deadline to get off)

Obligate Mutualism by bowhuntress (Gale-centric story of trying to get John through the stalag, then returning the England without Bucky, a fic very obviously written with a lot of care and love)

obsessions, and other things by @sig-nifier (the Bucks cope. really great pacing and dialogue, and I always love when fics take the care to delve into john's struggle with alcoholism as well)

of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world (he walks into mine) by @whitetrashjj (really fun parallel universe where Buck owns a bar, just a great read all-around!)

Oh, I do, do I? by @defnotanarc (DIRTY TALK, like the most delicious, incredible dirty talk you can imagine, this fic nails it!!)

One of your Girls by @soliloquy-dawn (9k oneshot and it's great all the way through, Gale is jealousssss of John fucking around, don't worry they resolve it <3, definitely captures that innocence of pre-Bremen MOTA episodes)

peacetime like a liminal space by @spaceshipkat (this one is PHENOMENAL. post-war, John goes to New York City and turns out it doesn't fill the emptiness. luckily Gale shows up. <3)

Putting Words to It by @impalachick (YEAH THIS ONE IS REALLY HOT. John is a snoop and reads Gale's letters to Marge <3)

Reunited by Flowersandthings (PG, cute & funny oneshot of the Bucks being reunited after Gale makes it over from Greenland!)

Reverie by @avonne-writes (REALLY creative, well-crafted story. Gale and John are soulmates and can visit each other's dreams since adolescence. INCREDIBLE journey and arc in this story, the stalag part is just wow. truly such a gift to the fandom!!).

Rugire by Anonymous (umm omegaverse-ish but with deer dynamics. messy. and SO good.)

SHOTGUN. by pornogirl (YEAH this one is awesome, it's not safe it's not sane but oh boy it is consensual)

Song of Songs by @swifty-fox (sweaty sex sweaty sex sweaty sex)

Spin, Sit, Roll-Over by @glumbabie (Gale is a little mean to John and it's VERY sexy of him tbh. 'DOGS DON'T TALK'???? 'YOU CAN EAT'???????? yeah. read this.)

the chimneys hardly ever fall down by @redbelles (another Gale/Marge + John, and it's HOT. it's SEXY it's awesome!!)

the hand of a good man by @stereobone (John rewrites Gale's daddy history <3)

the jacket by @dogmetaphors (REALLY great sense of dialogue and characterization even in 1.6k words, also shamelessly horny and SO yummy)

The Major’s Wife by tryingmyhandatwriting (John/Original Female Character but like. give this one a chance, I'm telling you!! I'm always soooo compelled by sex scenes that like. are actually a little bit unhappy. and this one SERVESSSSS.)

this must be the place by @blixabargelds (BIG win for Gale whumpers. broken bone and LOTS of blood and super well-written)

To be alone with you by Damn_Illusive (THIS ONE IS SO, SO SPECIAL AND CREATIVE!! freaky army experimentation gives gale and john telepathic communication. incredible separation arc while gale is in the stalag. really, really unique story that is such a staple in my mind as one of the the most incredible clegan stories ever. I think about this one A LOT!!!)

To the Moon and Back by @rambleonwaywardson (iconic astronaut AU, written with SUCH care and love, it's so obvious!! and BIG win for john whumpers. who said that -)

Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me) by @johnslittlespoon (sooo fun and creative and inventive, Bikeriders-esque!Gale and a sweeter, more innocent John. really well crafted)

trading paper dolls by ForASecondThereWedWon (Alex draws Gale pinup girl style in the stalag.....John swipes it.... super great fic!)

two slow dancers by everywordnotsaid (unrequited love, John for Gale, through their journey. I genuinely, actually sobbed for a long time at the conclusion of this fic. I am always thinking about this fic. I think it really captures something about the experience of watching the show and realizing in that hopeless, lovesick kind of way that there's no way to go back in time and save all of them. I still get teary whenever I think about this story or hear the song. It's one of those fics that's not just good, not just great, but somehow also really fucking IMPORTANT. this story MATTERS. you should absolutely read it and save it and imprint it onto your heart. I know it's imprinted onto mine.)

Un Chant d’Amour by @counting0nit (really intriguing take on the interrogation center time frame!)

unicorns, and other extinct animals by @spaceshipkat (really, really incredible reading experience. something that actually touches other aspects of my life, even now. I see planes overhead and I think about this fic. I see letters on a table and I think about this fic. just. this author GETS IT, you know? just absolutely nails every aspect of this kind of fic: post-war adjustment, the pain, the LOVE. this fic will make you FEEL it. let it happen.)

Up In Our Bedroom by @steeseman (ICONIC. really one of those pillars of the community type fics, y'know? it's funny and it's sweet and it's painful and the hot parts are HOT. clearly written with SO much care, and SO much love, and SO much precision. every single word packs a punch. absolutely one of my top reads of all time, across time, across fandoms)

When the bones are good by @aramblingjay (a really incredible post-war fic, such a beautiful, rich writing style!! isn't afraid to dig at the hard parts - john's relationship with alcohol, their nightmares from the war. stunning visuals -- the author uses setting and place and motion in such a tangible, real way. I can still see the little hideout spot in my mind's eye, even now. one of those fics that's just. such a treasure to the fandom.)

your dreams, whatever they be by @drylite (this one is super new, and it's just SUCH solid writing!)

You're A Dog (I'm Your Man) by @johnslittlespoon (one of those fics that's a pillar of the fandom for SURE!!! definitely a classic)

[therealslimshakespeare]

Oath to the Spunk Wall

A Dear John💌 stalag flashback fully authored by my brilliant @stylespresleyhearted

Bucky was fucking dying in the stalag.

Figuratively and literally - he could feel life and the will to live seeping out of every pore in his body as they spent day in and day out stuck with no chance of escaping. And Buck, Buck, Buck - Buck who had been his driving force to get here in the first place. They were on completely different ends of the spectrum.

Bucky wanted to act now. He wasn’t sure what the guys were waiting for. Did they think things were going to change? Were the Krauts gonna suddenly start treating them like real fucking people? He didn’t think so. Bucky had abandoned ship, almost killed a pair of kids, had nearly been beaten to death, and tasted the brains of a man who got his head bludgeoned and all of it was feeling unnecessarily unimportant.

The one person he wanted to save the most - Buck - didn’t want to make a move. He didn’t even want to try. And Bucky, he had made a promise before embarking on his mission, a promise to try to live and see the girl of his dreams in her white, frilly, silk sleep set and he had made a promise to himself to get his best friend home safe but none of that was happening. He was stuck. Unmoving. A hollow shell of the man he once was. Imprisoned.

Now Bucky wasn’t an idiot. He could see it in the faces of his guys all around him - the way in which they eyed his every move or were careful with their chosen words when speaking to him like he was a rabid dog who would bite at any given second. Bucky was supposed to be a leader but in light of things he’d become nothing but a burden to the boys who looked up to him. A waste of space and a waste of a bunk if you asked him. He’d be more useful dead. At least then his boys could have his jacket and his beanie and his gloves and blanket and take everything so they could stay warm and alive until the day came. Not that he could voice it. He didn’t want to deal with Buck’s sad eyes or more of Brady’s prayers or DeMarco’s crazy fucking look everytime they locked eyes.

I’m still trying, he thought but had no hope of Julie Jean listening on the other side.

There was no contact between them. Every couple of weeks mail came but none of it was from her. There’d been letters from his momma, of course - his momma was a saint - but while he would die for his mom he suddenly didn’t feel the will to live for her. She would only end up disappointed in him too. Her son was a rake. Useless. Dirty. No marriage, no children.

He was no good to his sisters either. What example was he setting?

His Jeanie was who he ached for and who he missed. She’d been the one keeping him together before here and to have her suddenly ripped away was like cutting off one of his legs and signing him up for a marathon. It was senseless to be without her. For years he hadn’t gone more than a handful of days with no new letter and no new photo. She was real selfless that way.

Africa had made him restless but when he returned there had been two letters and five new photographs waiting. He had mailed out his own explanation the next morning but another letter had already arrived: worried for him. He was important to her and she never made him doubt it. Thoughts of Jeanie helped center him, made breathing feel easier, and tempered his moods but none of it lasted for more than a couple of hours.

John Brady was a good kid. Catholic, brave, and a damn stone in Bucky’s shoe. He was a great leader to his crew, the most even tempered man in the entire 8th Air Force, and a talented pilot. Brady never questioned Bucky, he was always quick to initiate what their Major wanted done and more times than not Bucky caught the young guy watching him. One time Bucky had overheard him mouthing off to new arrivals who had said Bucky was no more than a ‘fun-time. Surely he couldn’t be a good leader.’ Brady hadn’t liked that and only after the new arrivals had left red-faced and close to tears had Bucky whistled to announce his presence.

“You don’t need to waste your breath defending me, Brady,” Bucky had told him, swinging an arm around his lanky shoulders as they exited the officer’s club. “All I need from you is to keep doing what you’re doing up there.”

“Major all due respect - I will never sit back and let someone who don’t know squat about being up there mouth off about you or Major Cleven. How you choose to soldier on, that’s your business, sir.”

Little brother Brady, Buck referred to him as. Bucky’s little brother that is. Apparently it wasn’t news to anyone on base that Brady was always sticking up for him, or popping his collar like him, or implementing rules Egan had set when he was Air Exec. He wasn’t anymore but Brady insisted his way was the correct way and so his rules stayed.

And no, Brady never questioned him but still - the kid was always the first to see through Bucky. Before the mission he was aware Bucky had no intention of returning without Buck and still he let his Major co-pilot. He never questioned any of Bucky’s requests or standard but when he didn’t agree there was always a witty remark or dry look that had Bucky’s face turning red. Like when the kid had been adamant to jump only after Bucky.

Or, more recently, how Brady created The Wall of Hopes and Dreams, - a wall solely for Bucky’s hopes and dreams that had multiple photos of Lana Tierney plastered - and his worry for his Major had him grabbing Bucky’s hand and physically dragging him to the wall.

“Come on now, Major Egan,” he worriedly bit on his lower lip, hands on his thin hips. He wasn’t blind; his superior officer had been far from okay the last couple of days. Lingering too close to the gates. Provoking guards. “We come to the Wall of Hopes and Dreams -”

“ — also known as the Spunk wall — ” Demarco.

“ - present Major John Egan who has come to pledge his promise of life and sanity to his girl, Miss Lana Tierney, also known as A.C.O.R.N.. Major, if you please.”

Bucky sighed. He spared a glance to Buck who was seated at the table also looking resigned to what was about to occur. They all must have been really worried if no one was trying to intercept the filthiness that was gonna be uttered and sworn under God and every man in their cabin.

Bucky shrugged; wasn’t the first time and his men would feel better. Brady did look real worried.

“Julie Jean,” he began, refusing to call her anything but her true name. The name she signed all her letters with. “First and foremost I promise to uphold my promise of life to you. That includes not doing any of the stupid things Buck and Brady warn me against. Under their wise guidance I shall return safely to you.” They should be proud - he barely allowed any sarcasm to seep in.

Buck was still watching, no hint of him shying away yet.

“And what else, Major?” Brady was incessentantly tapping a foot and chewing on a thumbnail.

Bucky felt guilty. He was really doing a number on the poor guy.

“I promise to return home with my own two hands so that I can help you hold your rack and take the ache off your back.”

And there it was. Gale’s blush. But when Bucky turned his head to check, he still hadn’t looked away.

“I promise to remain safe in my entirety and protect my - uhh - little major so that you can assist in keeping him warm and wet for me.”

DeMarco coughed to hide a laugh. The Wall of Hopes and Dreams was something that Brady held strongly about so out of respect for him the guys played along. Even though sometimes trying to contain their laughter ended with choking on their saliva.

“Julie Jean I will uphold my promise to you of keeping you satisfied and full of my spunk - ” DeMarco was having a hard time dealing tonight if his chortles and coughs were anything to go by “ - and give you all those babies I wrote about in my first letter.”

“Jesus, Bucky, the first?!” DeMarco exclaimed, laughing.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at him but Brady’s touch to his elbow reminded him he still had a couple of more oaths before he could walk away.

“I hereby promise to give you that good pounding I mentioned in letter 23, section 2 - so kindly arranged in numerical order by Biddick, may he rest in peace.”

A few of the guys chuckled at the antics but all of them were sure to nod in their agreement. All the men they had lost stayed with them. One way or another - in the sky, in their hearts, where their bunks lay, and they were even brought to the spunk wall.

“What else, Major?” Brady insisted, still on a mission to finish this. All the guys may have found it a joke but Brady was sure it worked. Only a couple of hours but he would take it. Those hours gave his Major hope again so he found this tedious antic worth it because so.

“And I promise to fulfill A.C.O.R.N to the best of my abilities once I’ve returned home -”

“ — maybe she can sit on your face and straighten your huge nose — ” that was Crank jumping in.

“I also promise, Julie Jean, to kick all of these guys asses as soon as we escape this hell hole for making me say all this filthy shit and I will knock any of them out if they even imagine any of this with you.”

All the guys were so happy at the Major getting some of his fight back into him that they didn’t tremble (too much, that is) at the threat. Since her first photo arrived their balls had been under the threat of their Major so it was also nothing new.

“I, Major John Egan, solemnly swear to uphold these promises to the best of my ability by staying alive, staying safe, and all in all, not being a mopey son of a bitch. Thank you.”

He turned with a smile, he couldn’t fight it off any longer and was met with the cheers and hugs of his men.

Brady let out a sigh of relief as the oath was finished. Tomorrow would be a better day.

Buck was still seated at the table but like Bucky figured, he was too prude to make any eye contact with the guys.

“You didn’t stop it,” Bucky shrugged, sliding back into his bunk with an air of faux innocence and ignoring Gale’s glare. He laughs, wholeheartedly.

Turning his back to the guys, he slides his photo from under his pillow. The one of her that he kept on the sole of his shoe for every mission. Of her smiling bright, a shoulder of her gown sliding off, a peak at the goods but not enough to be explicit. She radiated happiness and that’s why he chose it as the one he kept with him.

From his time on German ground, his time in the water and the forced march through town it’d been discolored and wrinkled and the colors had begun to fade into one another but it’s all he had and he refused to give it up.

He could still trace the radiance of her smile. The shape of her hair and the swell of her breasts. She would be a foot shorter than him - possibly not even reach his shoulder - and in his bunk, trying to find sleep Bucky thought of other things instead.

He’d be able to curl her into his chest and wrap his arms around her completely. She could hide in him and feel safe. She was often telling him she had only felt truly safe when he began writing to her. And even though they had never met she had claimed his lap to be her designated seat once they were in each other’s presence.

“We could make room for everyone else,” she was so helpful.

He presses the photo to his nose. Imagining he could smell her. Kiss the pout of her lips or the chub of her cheeks.

“I’m gonna marry you,” he swears, ignoring the chatter of the boys behind him and pressing his lips to her distorted image.

If I make it home is left out because Bucky’s aware that Julie Jean would want no association with the possibility of him not making it back. For her it wasn’t an option.