#what to you mean eustace.... who the fuck is eustace WINNER ?!

[transgaysex]

not their names

[timothylawrence]

ok i was gonna make a final review of aai2 once i got to the end instead of numerous ones but i already cried so . here we go im mid episode 2 with some thoughts already

this was so fucked up like i actually started crying wdym he keeps his father's plaque above his office wdym he didnt change the office's name wdym he literally refers to him as miles so fast what do you mean he still talks to gregory every day and reports to him about his day what do you mean... i literally had to cry for a little idk that got me so bad i already liked eddie but finding this out . my fucking god is this game gonna kill me?? that is your uncle eddie bro oh my god (also sorry thats some gay shit for eddie to be doing 20 yrs after greg died)

also obligatory:

are y'all fucking serious.... EUSTACE WINNER? HELLO??? WHO IS THIS GUY??? GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!!

uhh uhh i love the new judge lady !!! she seems really fun and crazy im excited to see more on her. also where was this prosecutor committee when fucking godot showed up with a 'perfect' record in the court room do these people do their jobs....

needless to say im having a lot of fun i just miss franziska and lang do they show up soon... please ... i beg.... i miss them... wheres their international interpol investigation game...

[sammywolfgirl]

Well shit this ace attorney au case whatever thing has a rough outline.

Frick.

Well I’ll get down what I got now before I forget when I get back into the persona zone:tm:

This is beyond just like playing with giving Bobby a niece this turned into a future fic sort of situation so uh yeah imma ramble

There will be spoilers for AA5 below soooo

So this would be another time skip game which takes place roughly 8 years post duel destinies (spirit of justice is acknowledged I just haven’t played/watched the game in a while so all that matters is Apollo is off doing his own cool spinoff game adventures)

Our protagonists are Athena Cykes who’s mentoring the newest attorney to join the wright anything agency!… currently unnamed guy who I’ve been calling Pathos because I kinda want that to be his last name.

I’ll list down themes and the general vibe I want this ‘game’ to have since uh at most it might be a future fic.

‘Gameplay’

For all intense and purposes this is the closest we’re getting to Athena cyckes ace attorney, depending on how the writing goes it might actually just be my pitch for the game but some ocs are here because I’m normal about them. The pov would swap between Athena who’s come into her own as a lawyer (it’s been 8 years) and is mostly trying to do her best to mentor the young attorney who sought her out specifically because of her psychology specialty.

And then there’s Pathos, who since Apollo isn’t here is the new punching bag straight man! I’m still developing him but he’s a more serious/level headed attorney, who’s biggest flaw is he can’t be as unbiased as he wants to. Like it or not he’s swayed by his own emotions more than he wants. Pathos’s ability is that he can read peoples expressions and tell if they’re hiding how they truly feel/if their expressed emotions don’t line up with their words/can pick up if someone is trying to smother theirs emotions. Idk the specifics might change but my idea is it’s like an investigation version of apollos lie detection and Athena’s mood matrix, but instead the contradiction you point out is if their emotional response doesn’t line up with their words.

Pathos grew up in a situation where learning to read if someone was about to snap was how he survived, he learned this skill as a means of survival, it’s not something he was born with.

Aaand that ties into the overall theme.

Emotions.

How they’re expressed, how they’re smothered, and how they drive someone.

Listen if the main mentor is Athena there’s gonna be a lot of emotion talk, I’m thinking her mood matrix is primarily for the court room while Pathos’ thing is for investigations primarily, but they can cross over.

Uh anyways what’s the big case:tm: for this ‘game.’

That fucking spy orginization duel destinies can’t just drop that and NOT ELABORATE so I will and am. The past case is that a few years ago a deal was made with the phantom that got interpol names and locations of the phantom’s handler and others who worked for the unnamed spy orginization. A raid was done and many criminals and spy agents (assets??) arrested, however not all were captured and importantly in this story, the phantoms main handler (and trainer??) wasn’t caught. And the background story is that Simon is working with Interpol to track down those stragglers.

Notably, Poppy Fulbright (who’s a detective now that’s she’s grown) has also been helping but she’s uh… kinda been doing her own investigation. She wants Justice for her uncle and isn’t afraid to get involved in stuff she shouldn’t to that end. Sure hope that doesn’t get her in trouble haha!

Uh anyways other notable things I’m turning over in my head-

The main prosecutor is Eustace Winner/Sebastian Debest. Because I love him and I’m biased. I think at this point he’s come into his own as a prosecutor but he very much isn’t the best around. He still gets hung up on his words or how to say what he means, but he searches for the truth and always aims to do his best on every case he works. I just think the prosecution team being goofballs who genuinely want to find the truth would be a fun contrast (plus with Pathos being more serious the side characters get to be more goofy as a treat)

The assistant to pathos is a school friend who I think is studying to be a judge? Idk she’s planning to go into law at least, she’s also only a little younger than pathos (lawyer oc is 20 while assistant is like 19) I’m still figuring out her personality dynamic but leaning towards she’s the middle ground between the serious Pathos and energetic and bubbly Athena.

I love the judge but I don’t think he can survive another time skip, he can retire, therefore Juniper Woods is the new judge in this essay I will- (I’m not against judge Courtney who I’m forgetting the new offical localized name of being the judge either but listen listen lesbians. Gay people if you will. Plus it’d be funny for pathos to witnes his mentor and the judge lady flirting outside of court he’s just ????? It’s great)

Pheonix is around but at this point is very much letting Athena handle things, wt most he gets a few camios, this is Athena’s ‘game’ he’s off with his husband edgeworth or something. Trucy is also around and I think is doing well. If she doesn’t show up say she’s on tour for a magic show or something and pheonix is so proud.

Apollo is mentioned only at the start and it’s a framing device for the introduction as Athena is writing him to tell him about the newest rookie she’s going to be mentoring. Again, he can be off doing his own spin-off adventures.

Honestly it’s a running gag that pathos keeps getting thrown off by how many people poppy has claimed in her weird found family thing, she calls his mentor auntie, prosecutor winner uncle (playing with the idea Eustace and Bobby are half siblings for my au stuff so bringing that in here), the scary samurai lawyer uncle, some dead detective is her uncle, and it keeps getting weirder and pathos just is so lost. (And a little jealous she’s got such a connected support network)

Also. The fate of the Phantom is kept vague until it’s revealed for certain towards the end of case 4 leading into 5. Because it was a bit of a touchy case internationally a lot of things were kept tight lipped about the phantom and wether they were executed or not. Officially, the phantom was executed for their crimes after giving all the information they could.

Unofficially, they cut a deal to work with Interpol to take down the spy organization they came from, and any future ones (though they are essentially working off their sentence)

Honestly idk if the phantom would have a ‘true face’ at this point or has claimed one that looks suspiciously like Bobby Fulbrights idk this would tie into some investigation game thing with Simon and also au stuff and I have not thought about that too much just yet. This is all vaugly thought out and subject to change.

If it wasn’t clear the lead detective is Poppy Fulbright. Though Emma could show up for forensics idk I’d need to double check what she’s up to post spirit of justice

There’s either a new youngest Payne brother or the first case prosecutor is the son/nephew of one of the Payne brothers. I’m undecided if it’s funnier if there’s just more brothers that keep spawning and becoming prosecutors or if this has become a family occupation the next generation of Payne’s are continuing. Dealers choice.

Uh… ok final note

I’m still really vague on the cases of this game but I want an underlining theme to be emotions being surpreased/hidden causing harm.

Like a disgruntled wife finally snapping, or secrets being held for the sake of feelings causing a bigger blowout than if things were communicated, someone hiding their true feelings under a mask of indifference that sort of thing.

Ties into the theme and means I can justify mood matrix scenes because fuck you I love that gimic a lot and I’d this is ‘Athena’s game’ the fic then I get to shove in all the court therapy!!!! Nobody can stop me!!!!

Uh anyways yeah that’s what I got so far, any comments or questions are appreciated.

Like I said I won’t be working on this seriously for a while I got other writing projects I wanna finish/plan out before sitting down to work on a fic that has at least 5 to 6 mysteries in it when I’ve only written like TWO at this point.

So yeah ramble over hope you enjoyed ^_^

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: November 2020

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of November 2020 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Nobody was expecting Donald Trump to concede defeat gracefully, but bloody hell, between the completely batshit insane conspiracy theory bollocks from himself and the rancid Trump offspring to Rudy Giuliani making complete fools of themselves even before he had to give a press conference from the parking lot of a landscaping firm as nobody checked which Four Seasons it was, before threatening to outlaw Twitter because people made fun of his little table (yes, that sentence does make sense), nobody could have expected just how tempramental toddlers are now thinking it's a bit much

...although somehow the Tory government managed to have an even worse response, because not only did posting a boilerplate jpeg to congratulate Joe Biden for his victory the laziest response possible, but then it turned out that they only had a celebratory jpeg for a Trump victory and hastily edited it on Paint so that Biden’s name was on there, but did a cack-handed job of it even though a.) Common sense dictates you have one for each candidate ready in advance, and b.) Given they had several days to accept which way the wind was blowing, the fact they did the most cack-handed job says everything you need to know 

Smirking cretin Priti Patel has bullied Home Office staff and, having initially tried to bury the report, the best the Tory government could come up with to try and make this go away was claim that she was bullying her subordinates by accident while proven liar Boris Johnson claimed she had done nothing wrong, numerous members of the Tory government either said that as they hadn’t seen her bullying anyone she must be innocent or tried claiming she was “accused” of bullying instead of found guilty of bullying, and to top it all off we had Michael Gove’s wife Sarah Vine accused anyone calling Patel of being a bully racist while Alison Pearson said Patel can’t be a bully as she isn’t tall enough. Also, did I mention this came out during national Bullying Week?

...and just a thought for Jess Phillips after she decided to weigh in, considering it’s on record that you bullied Diane Abbott (and have gleefully said how you told her to “Fuck off” on various occasions) it's not a good idea for you to try and act as you’re above bullying as you will get called out for your hypocrisy

Murderer Amanda Knox thought it would be a really funny joke to suggest that, no matter what the election result, the next four years couldn’t be as bad as the four years she spent studying abroad.  You know, those four years where she murdered Meredith Kercher and got away with it

So it turns out that the moral compass of the Tory government says that it is fine for Dominic Cummings to be happy to sacrifice the elderly if it protects the economy during a pandemic while displaying that he doesn’t know how herd immunity works, purging 21 MPs from the party for not buying into his No Deal Britait Jonestown, siphoning hundreds of millions of pounds into the pockets of his mates in various dodgy contracts, or flagrantly violating the lockdown rules by driving several hundred miles to Durham (where he owns a house he doesn't pay council tax for) after testing positive for Covid - but as soon as he calls Carrie Symonds “Princess Nut Nuts” he’s out the door...for a staged photo op, even though he is remaining in his job until December, which is when he was going to leave anyway

...and we should mention Laura Kuenssberg bullishly stating that Cummings was going nowhere in the wake of Lee Cain being told he could leave when his contract is up in December but they want to make it look like he is being fired, but within twelve hours saying that Cummings would always be leaving in December as a blog post in January stated, which not only asks if anyone has checked the archived version of that blog in case any edits were made in mid-November, but also how she can justify her £290k a year salary if she can get a story that badly wrong that Cummings’ blog disagreed with her

There’s a reason why Lindsey Graham isn't popular in the Senate and it isn’t because he questions if Biden won the election, it's because he’s telling people to “misplace” the votes for Biden which they are counting so that Trump could claim that he won Georgia instead of losing Georgia, demanding a recount, then losing Georgia

Once again proven liar Boris Johnson demonstrated that lockdown rules apply to the little people but not to him or his inner circle, as he met with fellow Tory MP Lee Anderson in person rather than via Zoom as the lockdown rules state, didn't wear a mask as lockdown rules state, and clearly didn’t social distance as a picture of him with Anderson taken during the meetings shows they are not two metres apart as lockdown rules state, which means that he had to spend two weeks self-isolating as a direct result 

Has anyone told Keir Starmer that The Board of Deputies weren’t on the ballot for Labour leadership?  Because by his performative act of refusing to restore the party whip to Jeremy Corbyn after his performative suspension, which he did after the BoD stamped their feet and demanded the whip not be restored, he’s not doing a good job of demonstrating leadership

First of all it was news that Steve Bannon uses Twitter, as surely he should have flounced off for Parler years ago.  But secondly, the real news is how he used his Twitter account to call for Anthony Fauci to be beheaded - at which point he suddenly couldn’t use his Twitter account anymore

According to Iain Duncan Smith putting the UK into a second lockdown is “giving in to the scientific advisors” as if during a pandemic, which the last time I checked was a scientific matter, you should instead be listening to Julia Halfwit-Brewer, Dan Wootton, Alison Pearson or Isabel Oakeshott rather than people qualified to talk about what to do in the face of a global pandemic 

Nice Guy Rishi Sunak proposed a return of Eat Out To Help Out for Christmas.  You know, the thing which has been directly linked with causing a spike in Covid numbers in August?

Tory arrogance was neatly summed up by George Eustace casually saying that, if Lurpak didn’t want to incur the massive price hikes of Britain crashing out of the EU without a paddle, all they have to do is move their entire base of operations to the UK

The fact that Disney have been trying to justify their refusal to even issue royalty statements to Alan Dean Foster for his novelisations of the Star Wars and Alien franchises and have simply been pocketing the revenue made by the books continued sales by claiming they only purchased the license and not the liability, which is a particularly unique interpretation of copyright law

It was only a matter of time before The Daily Mail started trying to create dirt about Marcus Rashford because he has the sheer gall to say that feeding children is not a bad thing, which they did by reporting the horrors of him...buying a house for his mother

Twitter troll Ben Bradley had a stellar month, first by standing up in Commons and asking why there isn't a Minister for Women while also showing a terrifying inability to understand what equality is, and soon followed that up by quoting Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech by claiming that it was about equality - only for Bernice King to tell him that, no, her father’s speech was about eliminating racism from our society

I think that it's time for The Daily Express to admit that, when they're running articles saying that it’s Remainers who are to blame for Trump getting dumped onto the street, that maybe they have a problem

The Streisand Effect still hasn’t reached WWE judging by their continuing to double down on demanding their employees independent contractors stop earning money via third-party platforms manifested in their releasing Thea Trinidad from her contract in spite her Twitch account always being under her real name and not her WWE moniker of Zelina Vega

It was a coincidence that the Jewish Labour Movement decided to hold their annual conference on the Palestinian Day of Solidarity.  Of course it was...

This month it was Fin Taylor who demonstrated just how far from satire HIGNFY has strayed with his “Bomb Glastonbury and kill all Jeremy Corbyn supporters” joke in response to Joan Bakewell lying about Corbyn breaking the law - and, afterwards, Taylor was generally being a smug twat about it on his Twitter - which also serves to show how Tim Davie is fine with booking comedians whose acts have plenty of questionable content contained within it if it guarantees the Tories escape criticism

This month’s example of Steve Baker making himself a walking punchline with no self-awareness came from him howling that further lockdown measures would be a violation of terms set out by the European Convention on Human Rights - yes, the exact same convention that Baker has a.) Repeatedly accused of meddling with British affairs and is an example of the EU nanny state, and b.) Frowns upon things such as Steve Baker repeatedly voting against allowing child refugees to be reunited with their families

Nothing says “worker happiness” quite like GameStop running a competition for their stores to post Tik Tok dances where the store which is voted the winner receives prizes such as an Amazon Echo, a Visa gift card, and the privilege of working an additional ten hours during the week of Black Friday.  Wait, did I say “worker happiness”?  I meant to say “Dickensian shithousery” where employees are expected to compete so they can work more hours

Of course the “We’re not racist”s of Twitter had an issue with Sainsburys Christmas ad because it didn’t appeal to white men due to having a black family, in much the same way that Compare the Market’s ads don't appeal to white men as they’re not Russian meerkats

Professional victim Laurence Fox thought it would be a good idea to get into a slanging match with The Pogues while lying that Fairytale of New York would be banned from the airwaves.  It went about as well as could be expected

It wouldn’t be Remembrance Day without The Sun or The Daily Mail exploiting it for some obvious ragebait, and this year was no exception with both “papers” posting a photo of Extinction Rebellion posting with a banner in front of the Cenotaph protesting climate change - a photo taken two days earlier, but they held off on posting it until the day itself to get the rage flowing, because they needed something as neither Jeremy Corbyn nor Meghan Markle were within a mile of Whitehall

This month it was Ernest Cline who demonstrated a lack of understanding of the Streisand Effect by ordering DMCA takedowns on anyone who posted an excerpt of Ready Player Two online, which mainly served to help the internet realise which the actual excerpts were and which the parody versions were - because it was pretty hard to tell them apart otherwise...

“I’ve been silenced”, shrieked Suzanne Moore in an interview with the Telegraph, fatally undermining her argument in the process.  Funny how the people who have been “silenced” keep doing that, isn’t it?

Because we haven’t heard anything idiotic from Jake Paul in a while, Jake Paul decided to say Covid isn’t real and flu has killed just as many people.  So I give it a week before his older brother Logan feels he has to one-up this and say the Holocaust was fake...

And finally, not for much longer, is Donald Trump and his complicity in trying to organise a coup - but not a very good coup, as his minions at Fox News had to exaggerate how many people were actually protesting about him losing an election and crying about it - which was further undermined by his inability to tell Michigan and Minnesota apart