#what the living do right at the end. so perfect.
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after 5 years of running this blog, i've made the decision to open up a patreon!
my life circumstances are changing, and patreon will greatly help me make ends meet and pay rent. nothing about this blog will be changing - i'll still be posting a cat doodle every day, same as i always have.
i have a $3/month tier and a $6/month tier - both work as tip jars, with the latter being if you feel especially generous and can afford it.
right now i have transparent and/or higher-resolution PNGs of certain catcrumbs that i've used for redbubble up for members, if anyone wants to make emojis or such. i'll also be taking requests for drawings to be transparentized and/or put on redbubble. in the future i may start offering additional rewards - bonus art, requests, maybe physical stuff - but my life needs to settle down a bit before i do anything like that.
your money is of course yours to do with as you see fit (and there are many many good causes out there that i urge you to donate to), but i hope that if my little drawings have given you joy over the years and you have the room in your budget, you'll consider supporting me!
i also have a kofi and redbubble if you'd rather support me that way!
no matter what - i genuinely appreciate all the kindness i have been given. i try very hard to keep catcrumb a self-driven art exercise - just one cat a day, doesnt have to be perfect or even good, just has to be a cat - but i couldn't have kept up the hobby without so many people's joy. it's been a genuinely incredible experience for my silly little scribbles to have positively touched people's lives - in-jokes between friends and partners, a gentle reminder, tattoos and baby clothes, something to look forward to... it's really been a flood of human kindness.
thank you all so much for all the joy - here's to more! :~D
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#sincaraz: have you got it in you?
#my hand slipped and i accidentally made a 2.5 min long edit ummm...#like sorry this song is so perfect for them what was i meant to do?? NOT be insane??#anyways moving on#i'm actually not sure if i got the subtitles at the end right... if i didn't DON'T TELL ME. let me live in PEACE.#mine#tennis edit#tennis#atp edit#sincaraz#jannik sinner#carlos alcaraz#sincaraz edit
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YES! YOU GET IT!!!
The angst of it all is just perfect, honestly.
the back and forth between his kids ending up as robins or vigilantes in general.
the fear of finding them dead like he did Bruce.
the fear of not returning alive to his kids like Bruce did.
But seeing younger him in them when they fight to be robin or anything else-
the same way he used to fight Bruce.
and he knows he can't keep doing it alone, knows Gotham needs a light he can't give to them now that he's Batman, something that only Robin could give.
but that fear is so deeply rooted that he feels stuck in place, unsure of what to even do.
I have some notes i wrote down back when i was brainstorming the au-
Jason wants to be a hero- he wants to fight alongside Dick. He wants to help Crime Alley- his home, and better it.
Dick's heart seizes in fear and he absolutely forbids it, a hard no. His foot is down. "I can't lose you too, Jason. I can't lose another family member, I can't watch someone I love die to crime another time. Just... grow up a normal kid. Please."
Jason is angry at this answer, his hands clutching into his hoodie as he shouts with tears in his eyes, asking Dick how he thinks he feels watching Dick go out all alone as Batman and coming back looking like a damned corpse? If Dick dies... then Jason is all alone again. He's afraid of another parental figure dying.
Dick is left reeling as the young boy storms off, his heart dropping into his stomach, stuck between a rock and a hard place, feeling like the weight of everything was finally crushing him.
But he doesn't take back what he says. It hurts, but he doesn't want to see Jason ever get hurt. He doesn't think he can handle it. He doesn't think he could survive it.
He's lost enough already, hasn't he?
And then one night, Jason steals Dick's old Robin costume from his early days from the display case, wrinkling his nose as he dawns the pixie boots. Because pixie boots, really Dick?
And he's sneaking out once Dick has left for patrol, long after the young boy was supposed to be asleep.
the suit is ill fitting but he feels light as air as he stumbles his way across rooftops, using his skills he'd learned while living on the streets to prowl unseen by Batman.
Or, at least he thinks he's being sneaky, until Dick is snatching him up by the bright yellow cape, and in a loud angry voice he's never had directed at him from Dick, the older male lets his anger gets the best of him. Yells at him on some random rooftop, all the emotions and fears he's kept bottled up for so long spilling out as he sees Jason in his old Robin suit.
He says things he doesn't mean, things he immediately regrets as he see's Jason's heart break and tears bead up in Jason's eyes.
watches with dread as the young boy just breaks down in a way he never has before right there on the rooftop, and before Dick can even apologize, the boy has run off, quick as lightning.
It takes two excruciating hours before he finds Jason hidden somewhere in Crime Alley, still sobbing and curled up, tucked away in some hidden corner, soaked from the rain.
Dick collapses in front of the boy and just draws him tight to his chest, covering the shivering boy with his cape and warming him up, his back against a wall and the tiny boy cradled in his lap, his head tucked beneath his chin.
they don't speak for a long while, silent as they both try to process their own emotions, as Dick tries to navigate something he never thought he'd have to.
"I'm afraid of losing you like I lost him." he admits, quiet in the wind as he holds the boy closer, almost desperately like he's afraid he'll disappear if he doesn't. "I just finally started living again... and i can't lose the one light I have."
its silent for a while once more, Dick weighing his options on what he should do,
Jason speaks up next, speaking of the way crime alley needed help, help that Batman couldn't give on his own. Things that he just couldn't understand without growing up there.
Dick listens to his son, listens to the passionate way he speaks, listens to how Jason opens up about Catherine, and about the gangs and how its barely livable there anymore.
Dick can't deny him anymore after that.
He breaks and gives in, a small, wet laugh leaving his lips. "There's no one else I'd rather be my robin." he whispers.
They don't discuss it anymore that night, Dick carrying the boy back to the manor.
They both end up with bad colds and Alfred scolds the both of them, but he doesn't leave the boy's side the whole time, trying to make up for his mistakes. for all the hurt he caused.
Once they're better, Dick lays out the rules, trying to find solutions to make them both happy.
School will be Jason's number one priority, and Jason can only do short patrols on weekdays, longer on weekends.
He would not go out until he had a few months of training, except to keep watch for Batman.
Dick would take him on patrol through crime alley, and they would work together to figure out what they needed to do to help.
He was not allowed on missions or to fight any super dangerous fights- no matter how much he wanted to. not until he was on the field for a long time, thank you very much.
Jason hates some of the rules, but he finally relents after a long time debating over it, knowing that Dick had some good points, even though he's never tell the man that.
Dick lets Jason redesign the robin costume to suit him better, and the first thing Jason does is add pants. he was really fucking cold in Dick's outfit and he didn't like it.
Jason becomes crime alley's Robin, recognized as one of their own. It starts to slowly blossom under his guidance, bit by bit over the years.
(one day I'll actually write this fully fleshed out as a fic and not just 3 am rambles, lol)
(and one day i'll write about the other kids too, i just haven't written past like, Jason and Tim meeting for the first time bc i'm brainstorming chapter by chapter oops.)
Lying awake at 5 am thinking of the au I planned out where Batman dies before Dick ever becomes Nightwing, so Dick becomes Batman and he ends up adopting all his siblings instead.
19/20 year old Dick Grayson staring down at a like 10-13 year old Jason Todd trying to steal his tires and understanding why Bruce took him home that day at the circus.
Dick Grayson staring at Jason who brought home a young Tim and feeling like he can never let Tim go, or maybe him finding the young boy taking photos one late night.
Dick finding out about (baby!) Damian and stealing him. That's *his* son now.
Him finding Cass and just accepting he has a daughter too. Doesn't even fight it anymore.
Duke? He just sighs and wraps the kid up in a blanket. Alfred's already got a room set up for him by the time they're back at the manor.
Eventually, Tim and Steph date and break up (she gets to finally have a good time as Robin PLEASE) but Dick gets said when she stops coming to family dinner. She starts coming again bc she can't stand the puppy dog eyes. She's his unofficial daughter.
Barbara and Alfred just watching all this go down and staring to place bets on when they think another shows up.
Dick but he just inherits his father's adoption problems.
Ft uncle Clark and aunt Lois with (baby!!!) Kon and eventually a baby Jon.
Ft an unholy amount of angst almost every damned chapter.
#batman#dick grayson#dick grayson as batman#dc#dc fanfic#rambles#cryptidbear writing#dc jason todd#jason todd#batman fanfiction#batfam#dc au#canon divergence#single dad!Dick au
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I am so so so so sorry if this is too close to nsfw (in my head it's very fluff/comfort but I apologise if it makes you uncomfortable bc I'm not sure), but thinking about Sevika w/ a partner who's been pressured by their ex's into doing things like sexually and her just reassuring them that like no baby I wanna hold you what r you talking ab I've been here all of 15 seconds I'm not tryna fuck calm down
And her partner who is so so surprised wdym ??? You just wanna spoon me isn't this the part where you grope my chest and Sevika is like BABY NO
I don't know I'm using her to cope this is so self indulgent I just wanna hear your thoughts on it
i love this idea, thank you for the request anon...and shitt this one was so personally relatable to me 😔
things i wanna say to you
content warning(s): mentions of trauma from past relationships, angst, hurt/comfort
"there's things i wanna say to you, but i'll just let you live like if you hold me without hurting me you'll be the first who ever did."
~~~
“Your beauty…it’s a blessing.”
It’s a sentence that returns and returns to you. It’s a truth you hold in your hands, or wear on your shoulders like a mantle you can’t take off. You have heard it, in one form or another, from the lips of lover to lover. They whispered it to you in the heat of sex, like a special confession only for you, and then vanished like a vapor.
Your body is like a hotel, you think—a pretty room that people pass through and love only in the moment. When was the last time you were held without the other person’s hands hungrily seeking your breasts? When was the last time you were kissed without their hands roaming your body like an impatient, starved animal?
Once, you had worked up the courage to confront them. You told them, “hands off.” You don’t exactly remember how the conversation went. But you know that it ended in them laughing in your face, suggesting you work at Babette’s if you wanted compensation for your body.
When they were gone, you stood in the silent room and wondered if they were right. You wondered if it was your fault. If your body was the only good thing, the only worthy thing about you. If you were nothing more than a pretty face and a blank canvas waiting to be ruined. If you were asking too much when you asked for even just a shadow of respect.
You stopped speaking after that.
~~~
Shortly after you began to work for Silco as his record scribe, you met his henchwoman, Sevika. Immediately you knew she was different. She didn’t look at you the way others did—in fact, she barely looked at you at all. When she spoke to you she looked down at you over her hooked nose, her handsome, perfect nose, in a way that made you feel both insignificant and the only woman in the entire world. She didn’t give you flattery about your appearance, spoke bluntly when you made mistakes.
Still you caught her staring at you from time to time when she thought you were too immersed in work to notice. But her face betrayed nothing. Her brows were always drawn together as if everything in the world annoyed her. You assumed she was only scrutinizing the way you worked. You wondered if Silco had ordered her to monitor you, assess your performance. You worked harder as a result, feeling oddly gratified to be watched for a reason other than your appearance.
So one could imagine your shock when Sevika strode up to your desk one morning and said, “get your coat. Walk with me.”
From that day on, you were hers.
~~~
The first night you moved into her apartment had been a hard day at work. You had been at the desk all day without a single break, trying frantically to keep up with the endless flow of Shimmer shipment records and orders. Sevika had been on her feet from dawn to dusk—you hadn’t seen her for two consecutive minutes even though you worked in the same building.
The night had deepened, the sky outside dusted with faint stars. You were undressing for bed. If you were tired, how exhausted must Sevika be? You paused in front of the mirror before you slipped the nightshirt over your body. Maybe she would want to let off some steam. Maybe she expected it from you. Hesitantly, you put the nightshirt on. You didn’t want to, but you felt like you owed it to her. Like she deserved it.
Sevika came in, her mechanical arm detached and water glistening on her face from a quick wash. She smiled slightly when she saw you waiting on the bed. “There’s my girl. C’mere.”
She sank into the bed you now shared with her, and obediently you crawled over and folded yourself into her embrace. Her right arm curled around you protectively. Her warmth, her strength, the tautness of her muscles against your skin. It was heavenly.
She sighed into your neck, and it made you shiver slightly. The question tiptoed to the end of your tongue: can we…can we maybe just stay like this?
But you feared she would say no. You feared she would be mad. And leave you.
You waited for her to make the next move, to start pulling the shirt over your head, or turn you around so she could grope between your legs. When several seconds passed and she did nothing, you realized that maybe she was waiting for you.
Reluctantly, you pulled yourself away and began to take off your shirt.
Sevika sat up, confused. “What are you doing?”
You freeze in your movements. Your shirt falls back down over your chest. “I—you don’t want to…?”
She shook her head, lips curling in a bemused smile. “Baby, relax. I’ve been here fifteen seconds.”
Slowly, you returned to her, and she pulled you close once more. Sevika felt the shudder of relief that went through your body. Though you didn’t see it, her face creased with concern. She had noticed the apprehension in your eyes, nearly bordering on fear. And she made a mental note to herself to find whatever fucker had hurt you and made you so scared.
~~~
#song: cinnamon girl by lana del rey#sevika#sevika arcane#sevika x reader#sevika x you#sevika headcanon#sevika imagine#soft sevika#fluff#hurt/comfort
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"I hate Caitlyn because of the system she represents. I'm so tired of people acting like we can'thate her for that."
Let's have a long, hard talk.
This argument IS made in direct comparison to the oppressive systems we see in real life, so let's first talk about how Caitlyn compares to real world oppressive systems, her faults and the ways she fails the people she serves, and then let's talk about how you're just fucking wrong about her and how you hate the wrong character.
Caitlyn is an enforcer. Stating the obvious. She is a member of a larger system she chose to be a part of, because she wanted to serve the people. She was ignorant of the system's corruption as we see throughout season 1. Her initial intentions with becoming an enforcer are because she wants to fight injustice, defy the stuff politics of Piltover that she was raised under, and have her own identity.
At the end of season 1, several things happen to Caitlyn. She is abducted naked from her home, held hostage for at minimum 24 hours, during which time an array of things could have happened to her but of which we know for certain left her TERRIFIED of the young girl with blue hair she was abducted by. She watches that same girl fire an explosive that kills her mother. Preceding this, she has been witness to the ways Silco has harmed the people of the undercity and how he had the enforcers in his pocket in order to do it. Ekko explicitly tells her this. He tells her how Silco has ruined lives and how the enforcers were the manpower that let it happen.
Caitlyn walks away from season 1 changed in many ways. She is brokenhearted and traumatized, but still holds a strong desire to protect the innocent people of both cities. Because of who she has been up to this point, her belief is that she can rectify the wrongs by using the power of her position to do good instead of aid corruption. Her asking Vi to become an enforcer to do as much is in bad taste, yes. Which she later apologizes for and takes ownership for. That doesn't remove the good intention behind it. And it doesn't negate that Vi can later see the logic behind it. Being able to take control of a bad situation and use that power to do good instead of abusing that power to do bad, is an incredibly shaky but important position to be in. And the whole point of Caitlyn's character is how she navigates that--can she use her position to do good? As per GOOD WRITING, she's not going to get it perfect until she learns and grows.
We can acknowledge the moral ambiguity of using the grey, how it does harm, while also acknowledging the WAY it was used and for what purpose was both smart, economical, and GOOD. Doing bad things for good reasons. That's what the use of the grey was.
I'm not going to get into the memorial much, but all I will say for that, is it's an excellent example of people twisting Caitlyn's words and underselling the pain she's going through. If you can't acknowledge the right Caitlyn has to be upset at the people who just violently disrupted a memorial for mourning the loss of loved ones, I don't think you care to have a conversation about the humane treatment of others. And using Caitlyn's anger and grief as a "see?? She hates Zaunites!!" is so fucking stupid I'm not going to entertain an argument for that.
Caitlyn's setback is her trauma, her ignorance, and her heartbreak. She still isn't a fully realized character throughout most of season 2. She's learning and growing and unfortunately that is at the expense of the people she lords over while enforcing martial law. But if we acknowledge that, we also have to acknowledge the ways she changed the system so that needless suffering and punishment didn't happen. Confronting Ambessa when violence is used unlawfully. Improving the prison food and banning the use of the most inhumane cells in Stillwater. Bare minimum? Yes. But still ways she showed that she saw the Zaunites as humans and not as flesh covered problems the way Salo does. Not as problems to get rid of the way Ambessa does.
If the reason for your ire is because Caitlyn is a figure in a corrupt system, then your hatred is misdirected. The point of Caitlyn is to show the ways the system needs to change, and how the people within it who want to do good can often be misguided, but that doesn't mean they aren't good people or that they can't do good within their position.
If you fundamentally disagree with that, there isn't much of an argument to be had, but I will say that your ire is still misdirected.
I never see you guys discuss Salo or Ambessa.
Salo represents true bigotry in the system. It's a position he maintains all the way up to when his mind is commandeered by Viktor and the hexcore. Salo is the type of person who functions on confirmation bias--he already has a prejudiced view of Zaunites, and will use any opportunity to say "see? Told you so! We should put them down." Compared directly to how Caitlyn talks about them, asks Vi to help fix the system, fights against the system going too far, actively makes adjustments to change the way the system treats Zaunites, the claims that Caitlyn is a bigot don't hold up.
Ambessa IS the system. She IS the oppressive force that indiscriminately will take and take and take and sees violence as a tool and not a consequence to be avoided at all costs the way Caitlyn does. And for some fucking reason, no one who criticizes Caitlyn gives any weight to Ambessa's actions, ever. They don't discuss the way she manufactures the attack on the memorial to manipulate public opinion on Zaunites, as well as manipulate Caitlyn. They don't discuss how she sets Caitlyn up to be pressured to take the position of Commander and uses her grief, promises her justice, in order to warm Caitlyn to her and keep her as an ally, a pawn she can use. They don't discuss how she sent Maddie to be a spy, to be in Caitlyn's bed and to be as intimately close to her as possible, to make sure Caitlyn still was behaving the way she needed in order to see her plan through.
When discussing the manipulative, exploitative, and violent nature of oppressive systems, Caitlyn has become the scapegoat, when it is people like Salo and Ambessa who deserve your blame and your ire.
You wonder why people don't take your complaints about Caitlyn seriously? That's why. Because the show gave you very bold examples of oppressive individuals in control of the systems you hate, and you ignore both of them for the sake of hating on a beloved lesbian character, who is beloved because she is flawed and good natured and whose journey we enjoy because it's all about learning what to do when you're within a system that pulls you at every direction to do evil, and you still find a way to do good.
Do some more think pieces on Salo and Ambessa. Then maybe we can have nuanced discussions on Caitlyn.
#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#arcane league of legends#caitlyn arcane#arcane discussion#arcane analysis#arcane ambessa#ambessa medarda
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CLEAN, PT 2
summary: after rehab, you reunite with thanos, sharing love, passion, and a fresh start together.
parings: thanos/choi su-bong x f!reader
warnings: mention of addiction, swearing, smut, oral (both receiving), fingering, handjob, unprotected sex (don’t be an idiot), p in v.
part 1
Three months ago, Thanos had dragged you—kicking, screaming, and cursing his name—into the same rehab facility where he had gotten clean.
Today, you were walking out.
With no family to pick you up (Thanos didn’t even know if you had any who cared), he was the one waiting.
Three excruciating months apart. He spent every day wondering if you hated him, if you were okay. But no calls from the facility meant you weren’t doing too bad. Meanwhile, you had spent those months drowning in withdrawal, fighting everyone who tried to help, refusing therapy—until eventually, you gave in. And for the first time in years, you felt normal. You started to remember the girl you used to be before the drugs took her away.
Then came the shame. The time lost. You should’ve graduated from art school by now, but instead, addiction had dictated your life. You regretted cutting off your family, pushing away friends until you had none left. You regretted how you had treated Thanos when all he ever did was try to save you.
And now, standing at the door, your hands trembled. Would anyone even be waiting for you?
Then—
“Y/N.”
You blinked.
Thanos.
You didn’t think. You just ran.
Throwing yourself at him, you hugged him so tightly it knocked the wind out of him. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, voice shaking. You pulled back slightly to look at him. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t thank me,” he murmured, brushing away your tears.
“I didn’t deserve your help,” you admitted, pulling away completely. He caught your hands, grounding you. “I was so awful to you. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I know what it’s like to be an addict,” he replied. “Everyone deserves help.”
Sniffing, you wiped your eyes as he led you to his car.
It was strange. You had known Thanos for nine months, lived with him, had sex with him, and yet… you didn’t really know him. Your brain had been so fried on drugs you barely retained any information.
And Thanos was the same. He had taken care of you, paid for your rehab, seen you at your lowest, and yet he didn’t know who you were.
Maybe it was time to change that.
The car ride was quiet at first. You were still getting used to the feeling of sobriety, of being aware. But as the city passed by through the windows, you glanced at Thanos.
“I used to paint,” you blurted out.
He looked at you. “Yeah?”
You nodded. “Before everything… I loved painting. I was good at it, too. I was supposed to graduate art school a few years ago. Art was my dream.”
Silence settled for a moment before you continued. “I had a good life. A good family. My parents weren’t perfect, but they cared. I had a future. And then I got caught up with the wrong people.” You swallowed. “I let it ruin me.”
Thanos tightened his grip on the wheel. “It’s not too late.”
You let out a small, breathy laugh. “You sound like my therapist.”
“Well, your therapist is right,” he said, glancing at you. “You’re clean now. You can start again.”
You didn’t reply, just watched the city blur past.
“What about you?” you asked. “How did you get into rapping?”
Thanos smirked slightly. “It was either rap or go to jail.”
Your brows furrowed, but you stayed quiet, waiting for him to explain.
“I was a street kid,” he said. “Grew up bouncing between different family members. No real home. I got into some bad shit—gangs, drugs, fights. Ended up locked up a few times as a teenager. But music…” He sighed, tapping his fingers against the wheel. “Music was my way out. I started writing lyrics in juvie. Got out, kept at it, got lucky. Somehow, I made it big.”
You stared at him, realizing this was the first real conversation you’d ever had. “Do you love it?”
Thanos was quiet for a beat. “Yeah. I do.”
You smiled softly. “I’d like to hear your songs sometime. Really hear them. Not just in the background while I’m high out of my mind.”
His lips quirked up. “I’d like that too.”
And for the first time in a long time, you both felt like you were finally getting to know each other.
Thanos had loved you before—loved you in your worst moments, through the chaos, the anger, the addiction. But this version of you? The version that was bright-eyed, passionate, full of life again? He loved this version even more.
As he stole glances at you in the passenger seat, he really saw you for the first time. Your cheeks had filled out, your skin looked healthier, your eyes were wide and alert instead of hazy and half-lidded. And that smile—soft, genuine, real.
You were beautiful.
He pulled into the driveway, and you blinked, tilting your head.
“This isn’t the place I remember,” you said, glancing up at the massive mansion in front of you.
Thanos shrugged. “Bought a new house while you were gone.” He put the car in park and looked over at you. “Wanted to leave the bad memories behind and make good ones here instead.”
You let out a small laugh. “House? More like a mansion.”
Thanos smirked, pushing open his door. “Being rich and famous has its perks.”
You stepped out after him, following him inside. The space was opulent—high ceilings, sleek furniture, stunning artwork lining the walls. You turned in slow circles, taking it all in.
“I’ll donate them to charity,” Thanos said.
You glanced at him, confused. “What?”
“The paintings,” he clarified. “I’d rather have your art on my walls.”
Your cheeks burned, and you ducked your head, kicking at the floor. “I haven’t picked up a paintbrush in years,” you admitted. “Not sure I even can anymore.”
Thanos smiled. “I bet you can.”
Before you could argue, he took your hand and led you up the grand staircase, past a few closed doors, before stopping in front of one. He pushed it open, revealing a bedroom with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the entire city.
“This is your room,” he said simply.
You stepped inside, breath catching. It was beautiful. Warm-toned, cozy, welcoming. He walked over to the closet and pulled open the doors, revealing racks of neatly hung designer clothes, tags still on them.
“I even got you a new wardrobe,” he added.
You stared at the clothes, shaking your head. “Thanos, this is too much,” you whispered. “After everything I put you through… You shouldn’t have to take care of me anymore.”
He turned to you, gaze steady. “I want to.”
His words sat heavy between you. No hesitation, no doubt.
For the first time in a long time, you felt happy.
Real, genuine happiness. The kind that made your stomach flip and your heart race.
Or maybe it wasn’t just happiness. Maybe it was something deeper, something terrifying in its intensity.
You stared at him, eyes brimming with tears. “Thank you.” Your voice was barely a whisper, afraid that if you spoke any louder, the moment would shatter.
Thanos met your gaze, unwavering. “You’re welcome.”
You stepped forward hesitantly. “I don’t remember a lot from when I was using,” you admitted. “But I remember you.”
His brows lifted slightly. “What do you remember?”
You swallowed hard. “I remember you force-feeding me when I refused to eat. Flushing my stash down the toilet. I remember screaming in your face, kicking holes in your walls.” A tear slipped down your cheek, but you kept going. “I remember sleeping with strangers, with your friends—right after you told me you loved me.” Your voice cracked. “I was horrible to you. But that wasn’t the real me. I swear.”
Thanos nodded, watching you carefully. “I know,” he said simply. “But there were good times too, right? You remember those?”
You did.
You remembered the way he’d tuck you in at night, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. The way he’d run a bath for you after you got sick all over yourself, holding you steady as he cleaned you up. The way he kissed you like he was willing to set the world on fire for you. The way he touched you, loved you, even when you were too far gone to truly feel it.
“I remember how you made me feel,” you whispered, stepping closer.
His lips parted, his breath hitching as your fingers traced up his chest.
“I remember your hands,” you murmured, voice turning sultry. “Your mouth. Your tongue. Your fingers.” Your hand slid lower, brushing over the hardening bulge in his jeans. “Your cock inside me.”
Thanos inhaled sharply as you pushed your palms against his chest.
You had spent weeks thinking about this—about fucking him sober. About feeling everything for the first time.
“You made me feel so good,” you purred. “So fucking good, Thanos.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “My real name is Su-bong,” he muttered, his voice hoarse.
You smirked. “Well—Su-bong…” Your eyes darkened with intent. “Let me make it up to you. Let me show you how good I can be.”
That was all it took.
His lips crashed against yours, hungry and demanding, his hands gripping your waist as he backed you toward the bed. You gasped as the backs of your knees hit the mattress, and he wasted no time pushing you onto your back, peeling his shirt off in one swift motion and tossing it to the floor.
You sat up slightly, dragging your fingertips down his toned abdomen, your mouth practically watering at the sight of him.
He was already hard for you.
And this time, you were completely, devastatingly sober.
You dragged your nails down his chest, feeling the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch. His skin was warm, firm—real. For the first time, you were feeling him, not just through a hazy drug-fueled blur, but with a clarity that sent a shiver down your spine.
Thanos—Su-bong—looked down at you with dark, hooded eyes, his lips parted slightly as he took you in. “You’re teasing me,” he murmured, voice thick with desire.
You smirked, trailing your fingers lower, letting them ghost over the waistband of his jeans. “Maybe,” you mused. “I owe you, don’t I?”
His hands slid up your sides, rough palms skimming the soft fabric of the shirt he had given you months ago—the same one you had walked out of rehab in. Slowly, he peeled it up and over your head, letting it drop to the floor.
His gaze roamed over you, drinking in every inch of exposed skin, every little mark and scar. You weren’t the frail, hollow version of yourself anymore. You were whole.
“You’re beautiful,” he muttered, his fingers trailing over your ribs, then up to cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples. You let out a soft gasp, arching into his touch.
His mouth found your throat, lips pressing firm, open-mouthed kisses along the column of your neck. He sucked lightly at your pulse, dragging his teeth over the sensitive skin, making you shudder.
“Su-bong,” you breathed, threading your fingers through his hair.
He groaned at the way you said his name, his hands sliding down your body, squeezing at your waist, your hips, like he was memorizing the shape of you.
You tugged at the waistband of his jeans, undoing the button and pulling the zipper down, your fingers slipping inside to brush against the hard length beneath his boxers. He let out a sharp exhale, hips jerking forward slightly at your touch.
“Fuck,” he hissed, his forehead dropping against yours. “You really want this?”
You wrapped your fingers around him, squeezing just enough to make him curse under his breath. “More than anything,” you whispered.
His lips crashed against yours again, hungrier this time, his hands gripping your thighs as he pushed you back onto the bed, positioning himself between your legs. You gasped as he kissed his way down your body, his mouth hot and insistent against your skin.
When he reached the waistband of your jeans, he hooked his fingers into them, glancing up at you for permission.
You lifted your hips in response, breath hitching as he dragged them down, taking your panties with them, exposing you completely to him.
His eyes darkened, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. “Fuck, baby,” he muttered, his voice thick with lust.
Then, without hesitation, he leaned down and devoured you.
His tongue flicked against your clit, slow and teasing, sending a jolt of pleasure through your core. Your fingers twisted into his hair, hips jerking instinctively, but he pinned you down with a firm grip on your thighs.
“You’re so fucking wet,” he groaned against you, his breath hot, his voice thick with hunger. “Missed this pussy so much.”
A whimper slipped from your lips as he flattened his tongue and licked a long, slow stripe up your slit before sucking your clit into his mouth. Your back arched, thighs trembling, but just as the pleasure built, just as you felt yourself spiraling, you pushed at his shoulders.
Thanos pulled back, his mouth glistening, brows furrowing in confusion. “What?”
You took a shaky breath, trying to clear the haze of pleasure from your mind. “This is about you, not me,” you murmured, pushing yourself up on your elbows. “I’m paying you back.”
A slow, wicked grin spread across his face. “If it’s about me, then I should get to do what I want,” he countered, voice low, dangerous. “And what I want to do is fucking taste you.”
“Jesus Christ,” you breathed, heat surging through your body.
Before you could protest further, he dove back in, his tongue circling your clit while two fingers slid inside you, curling just right. A strangled moan tore from your throat, your hips bucking as he worked you open, relentless and precise.
It didn’t take long—he knew exactly how to unravel you, exactly how to have you gripping his hair and gasping his name. Your orgasm hit fast and hard, your body shaking as he held you down, licking you through every wave until you were panting, overstimulated.
Only then did he pull away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, looking so fucking smug.
“Fuck,” you muttered, still catching your breath. “I forgot how good you were at that. Feels even better sober.”
His smirk widened. “Unforgettable, baby.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the smile tugging at your lips. Pushing him onto his back, you straddled his hips, hands sliding up his chest, fingers teasing over his nipples before raking down his abs.
“My turn,” you whispered.
You kissed down his body, taking your time, nipping at his collarbones, sucking marks into his skin just to watch him tense beneath you. When you reached the waistband of his jeans, you tugged them down, freeing his cock, your mouth practically watering at the sight of him—thick, hard, already leaking.
You wrapped your fingers around him, stroking slow, teasing. His breath hitched, his head tipping back against the pillows.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his fingers curling into the sheets. “You gonna take care of me, baby?”
You leaned down, pressing a kiss to his tip, then dragged your tongue along his length, watching the way his stomach tensed beneath you.
“Of course,” you murmured, voice dripping with promise.
And then you took him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as he let out a deep, guttural moan, his hands flying to your hair.
Your tongue worked him slowly, dragging along every inch of his length, teasing just to hear him groan. You hollowed your cheeks, taking him deeper, letting him hit the back of your throat, moaning around him just to feel the way he twitched in your mouth.
“Shit, baby,” Thanos growled, his fingers tightening in your hair. “Missed your mouth—so perfect, so fucking good for me.”
The praise only made you more eager. You bobbed your head, stroking the rest of him with your hand, slick and messy, making sure to keep your eyes on him. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his jaw clenched, his muscles tense as he fought to keep control.
But you didn’t want him to be in control.
You pulled off him with a lewd pop, kissing up his abs as you moved to straddle his waist. His cock was hard, flushed, throbbing against your soaked folds as you rubbed against him, teasing both of you.
“Hey,” he hissed, gripping your hips. “Quit teasing.”
You smirked, leaning down to kiss him, slow and deep, your fingers threading into his hair. “You always take care of me,” you whispered against his lips. “Let me take care of you now.”
Without breaking eye contact, you reached down, guiding him to your entrance before sinking down onto him in one slow, delicious slide. Both of you gasped at the sensation, your walls stretching around him, molding to him perfectly like you were made for this.
“Jesus,” Thanos groaned, his head tipping back, fingers digging into your hips as he tried not to lose himself completely.
“You feel so good,” you breathed, placing your hands on his chest, rolling your hips slowly, savoring the way he filled you so perfectly. “So fucking good, Su-bong.”
His eyes snapped open at the sound of his real name on your lips, dark and wild with lust. He sat up suddenly, wrapping an arm around your waist, his mouth latching onto your neck, sucking bruises into your skin as you continued moving, grinding against him, taking him deeper.
You moaned, clinging to his shoulders, kissing him desperately, your tongues tangling, the pleasure building between you like a fire. “Thank you,” you whispered against his lips, rocking faster, harder. “Thank you for saving me. For never giving up on me.”
A low growl rumbled in his chest as he flipped you onto your back, keeping you pinned beneath him, his hips snapping against yours, hitting deeper, harder.
“You’re mine,” he muttered between kisses, his voice rough, possessive. “Always fucking mine.”
“Yours,” you gasped, nails raking down his back, legs wrapping around him to pull him even closer. “Only yours.”
His pace turned desperate, his thrusts brutal yet somehow still so full of love, his forehead pressing against yours, his hand slipping between you to rub your clit, determined to drag you over the edge with him.
And when you came—hard, clenching around him, gasping his name like a prayer—he followed right after, burying himself deep, groaning into your mouth as he filled you, his entire body shuddering against yours.
For a long moment, neither of you moved, tangled together in the aftermath, your breathing heavy, your hearts racing in sync.
Then Thanos kissed you again, softer this time, lingering. “I still love you,” he murmured against your lips. “I always have.”
You smiled, brushing your fingers through his damp hair. “I think I love you too.”
And when he pulled you into his arms, holding you close like he never wanted to let go, you knew—you meant it.
You lay there for a while, tangled up in each other, your skin slick with sweat, his breath warm against your neck. The weight of him felt comforting, grounding, like you never wanted him to move.
But eventually, you stirred, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before slipping out of his arms.
“Where are you going?” Thanos mumbled, his voice thick with exhaustion.
You giggled, running a hand through his messy hair. “Relax, I’m just grabbing a towel.”
You padded to the bathroom, your legs still wobbly, but you didn’t care. You cleaned yourself up before wetting a towel, you returned to the bed, settling beside him as you began to clean him up, running the cloth over his stomach, down between his legs, gentle and careful.
Thanos watched you, his expression soft, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your thigh. “You don’t have to do that,” he murmured.
“I want to,” you replied, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Let me take care of you for once.”
He huffed out a small laugh, letting you do as you pleased, though his hands never stopped touching you—gliding over your arm, your waist, like he needed the reassurance that you were still here.
When you were done, you tossed the towel aside, crawling back into his embrace, peppering kisses along his jaw, his cheek, the corner of his mouth.
Thanos smirked. “You’re in a good mood.”
“I think you fucked the happiness into me,” you teased, making him chuckle before he suddenly rolled you onto your back, hovering over you, nuzzling into your neck.
You giggled, your hands slipping into his hair, tugging him up so you could kiss him properly. Slow, lazy, sweet.
After a while, you pulled back just enough to look at him, brushing his damp hair from his face. “Thank you for the room,” you said softly. “But… I think I’d rather share a bed with you, if that’s okay?”
He pressed a lingering kiss to your lips, his thumb stroking your cheek. “That’s more than okay,” he murmured. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
You smiled, burying your face in his chest, and for the first time in years, you felt home.
You still had a long road ahead—staying clean, rebuilding bridges with your family, reenrolling in art school. But those were worries for another day.
For now, you stayed wrapped in Thanos’ arms, making up for lost time, showering him with the love you should have given him all along.
#choi subong smut#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader#thanos smut#thanos x reader#thanos#player 230 smut#player 230 x reader#player 230#squid game
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ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕗𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖
𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 : 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧
summary: Gianna has been best friends with Terry Richmond since they were in primary school. While she pursued higher education by chasing the title of Dr. he became a force on the field. When life smacks her friend in the face, Gianna does what she can to help.
word count: 1k
Fulton County Courthouse - 0845AM - Smith v Richmond
Judge Matthews had taken his seat as Gianna watched as Terry's shoulders straightened. She couldn't see his face, but each time she saw his side profile it was tight lipped and tense. His eyes were hard and she was glad she wasn't on the receiving end of them.
I don't like my time being wasted. He said, while shuffling papers in front of him. So I thank both pirates for making this straightforward. Sliding on his glasses, the judge lifted the one paper they were all here for. In the case of paternity of two year old Carter Smith, Mr. Terrance Richmond, you are…….NOT the father.
"NO!"
The judge pointed a hard look to the plaintiff, Keisha Smith, Terry's ex-girlfriend. A few months ago Terry had discovered Keisha had cheated on him and the little boy he had grown to love and adore was not his. Gianna saw Terry's shoulders slump forward and the defeat in his eyes wasn't missed by her. She knew her best friend.
"Ms. Smith,' the judge sighed, "the next time you come through the Fulton County court system it had better because the right person is on the other side of this court room. I implore you to think carefully in the future."
Judge Matthews then turned his head towards Terry.
"Mr. Richmond,' he states cooly, "I can see that you are attached to the child as expected given the circumstances and it is up to you what your next steps will be, but as I've told Ms. Smith, I implore you as well to think carefully in the future."
When the gavel slammed down, Gianna jumped. As soon as the judge left, Keisha shot up from her chair, nearly knocking it over, and tried to make her way over to Terry's side.
"That test is a lie!" She screamed, the life she had become used to was gone, for good now. "He's your son! I don't care what that test says!"
Terry worked his jaw and stepped around his lawyer. The last thing he wanted to do was face the camera and reporters out front so he had asked her to find another way out. The alley in the back was perfect. Gianna went ahead of him as he spoke with his parents.
Terry's Penthouse - Noon
Gianna stepped out of her room to a dark house. The curtains were drawn shut and the interior lights were off. After court they had gone for a quick breakfast. He ate and she tried to make sure he knew she was here when he was ready to talk. Instead, he drove them back to the apartment and retreated to his room. She caught herself up on a class assignment then took a nap, setting her alarm so she didn't sleep the day away.
The large living room was devoid of the warmth that used to be in it. The toys Terry had bought were gone. She didn't have to go check what used to be Carter's room to know Terry had cleaned it out already. Pulling her phone from her hoodie, she placed an order for takeout to be delivered so they had something to eat.
"Terry,' Gianna called as she walked towards his bedroom.
Before she could get to his door her phone buzzed multiple times. Most were from his family asking if he was okay because he wasn't picking up the phone. They knew she stayed with him and would go through her to get to him when needed. Gianna knew they just wanted to be there for him, but he wasn't talking. Keisha had called him several times trying to guilt him into caring for Carter. Eventually, she told him it needed to be through a lawyer if he decided to stay in touch with him. She always asked if he wanted that headache, because she wasn't going to make it easy.
Pushing open the door to his suite, Gianna found Terry awake in bed, watching previous season tapes. It didn't look like he had slept and the used tissue beside the bed let her know he had been crying.
"I ordered take out from Sharks. It should be here in about thirty minutes."
Instead of replying, he patted the bed. Maybe he was ready to open up. When she was settled against the pillows he turned down the volume of the TV.
"Would it be wrong if I walked away from Carter."
"I can't-'
"Just answer honestly. Would you still,' he says, frustration laced in his voice as he tried not to give into his emotions again. "Be there?"
"It would be hard,' she replied. "Keisha isn't going to make it easy, Terry. If you agree to stay in Carter's life, you're not going to be able to walk away."
"So you would walk away." He says.
Gianna sighed. "It's not about what I want in the end. "You had your relationship and son taken from you over the past six months. You're not in the right headspace to make that decision."
Her eyes flicked to the TV. The new season was about to start and as his best friend she often helped him out during. Pre-season was no joke and he thanked her each time the season went smooth. They were Superbowl bound this year and nothing was going to stop them this time. She was beginning her doctoral program at Clark and had a bit more leeway as she was diving into her thesis research. She wanted to create a profitable thesis and what better thing to study than football? Specifically the various teams and their cultures, however, she framed it through the lens of literature paralleling plays to stage plays.
"Right,' he sighs. "Leave it to you to be reasonable."
"One of us has to be."
Gianna was always the grounded one. The responsible one of the two. He came to her with everything and she felt more like a manager than a friend at times. This time to the season stressed him because it was all eyes on him again. This time there was an expectation he would lead the Falcons to a Superbowl win. That was pressure.
"Whatever you decided I'm here for you."
Terry looked at Gianna and took her hand. "Thanks, Gigi."
taglist:
@nayaesworld @peachbuttetfly @heauxvibez @avoidthings @mymindisneverhere @eilujion @heytaewrites @insidefeelingofanadult @captainwithoutmakingitlove @kindofaintrovert @jimmybutlrr @beenathembo @virgomess @theereina @randomhood @ash-ketchumzzz @megamindsecretlair
@wabi-sabi1090 @iterum-incipi @liquorlaughslove @eilujion @taureanstargirl @mzv11@Disc0fair @prettyfilmz @simplyzeeka @heytaewrites vivaalenaa theogbadbitch
Insertcatchynamerighthere writingsbytee pocketsizedpanther
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the concept of intentional boredom/tedium in video games is very much a "your mileage may vary" kind of thing and i go back and forth about it in different situations. where does it work? where does it feel earned/worth the mental toll? why am i gonna play a game that is trying to make me miserable?
i can understand this not being the case for everyone (ymmv, after all) but for ISaT i was so fucking fully on board with the repetitive tedium of it all. rubbing my grubby little hands together and going yesssss, yesssssss, make my immersive gameplay experience directly emulate the exact frustrations and anxieties and mind-numbing breakdowns of the player character. remind me, at every turn, the toll this would take on the person living it. make me live their inner monologue before it's ever verbalized on screen.
how strong you feel, compared to the party you're inevitably leaving behind, how weak they seem now. how annoying it is to cut down these same enemies again and again, always pointlessly getting in your way (oh, how convenient that Siffrin feels the same way so intensely that you can get an item that lets him scare them off by sheer force of will before they attack you!). since when was the King's battle--so terrifying, so impossible before--so easy? can't this go faster? you've heard this all before.
let me skip ahead, loop around, treat my character my body Siffrin as disposable, take the fast and easy way to reach the next goal when you're on the verge of an exciting breakthrough, this loop doesn't matter anyway. but ohh, this next loop might be The One, better do this one right and follow the script to perfection. make all the jokes and say all the right things to get the lovely bonding dialogue so you can carry the Best Version of Everyone through to the end. that'll give you the Good Ending, right? can't hurt to try, right? you don't really believe it but this time will fix everything, right?
how generous and wonderful to have so many shortcuts at hand! dissociating zoning out to skip repetitive dialogue, splitting your head open on a rock slipping on a banana peel in the town to loop right to the floor you need, suuuuurely all of this stuff is purely for the Player's Convenience and won't have any psychological impact on our dear protagonist such that it gets slammed back into the player's face as a stomach-dropping reminder that someone's moment-to-moment experience in this time loop still matters, still carries over, still gets riddled with scars even if they can't be seen!
i've played & watched enough games that trivialize/hand-wave game mechanics that it's pretty easy to detach myself from the minutiae of video game decision-making. "this input gets the Good Response" -> "i will continue doing this input." "this option will be more efficient" -> "might as well save some time then." but this game would not let me stop thinking about consequence.
picking Siffrin's favorite food makes them happy! :) it's also the option that makes Bonnie the happiest! yay! -> i keep picking their favorite food -> Siffrin gradually grows sick of something that once brought him joy -> oh. right. that...makes sense, huh.
okay i asked the King what i needed, mann there won't be any tears after the fight is over so i'll have to do the whole ending scene again and that takes a while and i reeeeally wanna talk to Loop, maybe i'll just lose on purpose this time -> OH. RIGHT. THIS IS MAYBE THE MOST PAINFUL WAY FOR SIFFRIN TO DIE BOTH PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY HUH. -> never gonna do that again actually!!!!! the ending isn't that long!!!!
banana peel time! we've got places to be and mysteries to solve! -> (you're a living comedy sketch.) (you wonder if you'll ever be able to smell bananas again without wanting to vomit.) -> i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
it's always cute to see Isabeau's reactions! pick the options that make him blush :3 -> (disgusting. manipulative. it's no wonder he thinks he likes you, you made him feel that way.) -> i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry siffrin NO he liked you before any of this happened please don't think of yourself that way--
maybe it won't hit the same for every player (what game can expect to do that?) but holy fuck it hit for me. the way the mechanics let you fall into familiar gamey rhythms but constantly, constantly remind you that this is Siffrin's life you're playing with. the way you end up perfectly in step in the worst ways. muscle memory and habit built up so well that you both stumble when something changes. devastating and delicious
#isat#mypost#long post#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#cw sui mention#cw sh mention#love when a game is a story that could never be told as anything but a game without losing something of its impact#when it makes the player complicit in its story through their choices whether they mean to cause harm or not#putting my head in my hands.
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The Nested Universes Theory
and the high chance of a very literal bitter/sweet ending…
Yes, Will and Mike will end up together, but their ending may be both happy and tragic simultaneously.
(This theory may explain why the cast and Netflix executives were crying heavily when informed of the show’s ending…)
I'm warning you guys, take care of yourself while reading this. This isn't an easy read.
CW: CSA, sex, drugs, HIV/AIDS, period typical homophobia, death
Framed Narratives/Stories
Framed narratives are basically a story within a story. Common examples of this are the movie “The Princess Bride” and “Titanic”. Both stories have the story of the narrator and the story within.
Another example is Stranger Things itself. When we see the boys playing Dungeons and Dragons, they are creating a story within a story.
Sometimes, framed narratives are nested, meaning multiple layers of storytelling. An example of this would be the movie “Inception”. In that movie there are dreams within dreams within dreams… It’s a complex but fascinating way to tell stories.
Now, I do think Stranger Things is also a nested narrative story. Meaning, there may be a layer of a story that hasn’t been revealed to us yet (or more than one).
Basically I’m saying: the show itself may be a story created by some of the characters.
I’m guessing two characters in particular. Which two characters? The two most associated with creating stories. The writer and artist. Two of the characters that have existed since the show’s inception.
Mike and Will.
Multiple Universes
I do think there are multiple timelines/universes within Stranger Things… but it’s not exactly what you think. It’s not parallel universes/timelines. They do not exist parallel to each other, they exist within each other.
This is the reason for the “memory within a memory”, “play within a play” references.
It’s a story within a story within a story.
While Mike and Will are creating their DnD campaigns, there is another version of Mike and Will creating the story we see within the show.
Let’s break it down:
Inner layer: Mike and Will’s characters existing within a DnD campaign
Middle layer: Mike and Will within the show creating the DnD campaign
Outer layer: Mike and Will creating the story of the show
Mike and Will’s story within the frame (the outer layer) likely does share a lot in common with the story within the show, with one major difference:
There’s no Upside Down, and no supernatural elements. No superpowers, and no superheroes. There are still monster(s) and heroes, but these monsters and heroes are real.
Living on as “Heroes”
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Ever notice the association between characters being referred to as “a hero” after facing their demise?
We have seen this time and time again. It’s not a coincidence, it’s a pattern.
Love for horror and escapism
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@threemanoperation has a great post on Will’s love for horror.
It makes perfect sense for a boy like Will to enjoy horror. It can be a great way to process trauma and grief.
We also know even from the earliest descriptions for Mike and Will’s characters that they both love to “escape” into fantasy. They do this together, through DnD.
Gods/Puppet Masters/Creators
Within the show, there are many subtle nods to Will and Mike somehow controlling/manipulating things. These hints have lead to many interesting theories about Mike and/or Will having powers. In a sense, they both are absolutely right! But if this theory is correct, their influence over the show is mainly due to them creating it. They’re the authors, so in a way, they’re both “Gods”.
Solving the “Letter to Willy”/Lettergate puzzle
"Letter to Willy" is a song that plays over three different scenes within ST4. Each scene involves regrets, and survivor's guilt.
Max mourns Billy and reads out her letter "before it's too late" aka before she dies too.
Mike and Will have a heart-to-heart and Mike expresses guilt over El leaving, thinking there was more he could have done. This occurs while they are burying a dead man's body.
Dustin tells Eddie's uncle that Eddie died a hero, despite what the town thought.
This all leads back to Mike and Will within the story's outer layer. This also connects with the writer's incomplete letter they posted years ago on Twitter. I'll get back to this.
A father infecting his child
Oh boy. I hate this part but it requires context so…
Hopper admits to indirectly causing the death of his daughter, Sarah. He had been exposed to Agent Orange which led to his daughter developing cancer at a young age. He has remorse and has been grieving Sarah this whole time.
Now, Hopper is a decent guy and father, and is written as an almost “fix it” version of Mike and Will’s own fathers. He isn’t perfect, but he’s a man who strives to grow and improve himself.
Papa, is not a decent guy, and we also see him injecting El and Henry with needles.
So, what I’m saying is that this may be a hint to what happened to Will (in the 99/100 timeline). Lonnie is hinted to be a drug user, and it wouldn’t be far fetched to say he may have used IV drugs. Exposure to IV drugs is a way to transmit diseases, as blood may be exchanged through contaminated needles. Also, Lonnie has been hinted at, through subtext, to be a horrible monster. (<- click that link for a post about him.)
The “1/100” Timeline
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The show itself is the 1 out of 100 timeline. It is the only one where Will was not kidnapped by his parent/guardian (Lonnie).
This means, it is the one where none of the tragic stuff ever happened, specifically to Will and Mike’s story at least. They may encounter challenges, but nothing they cannot overcome together, as a team.
1983: The Demogorgon got Will. He survives the horrors done to him in the Upside Down… but barely. He is taken to the hospital and heals from it all, including flu-like symptoms (cough, nausea/vomiting).
1984: Will suffers from flashbacks. He is also plagued with the nickname “Zombie Boy” and suffering from the Mind Flayer’s possession of him. But with the love of his family, and Mike, is able to return back to his reality.
1985: He then begins to struggle with the pressures of growing up, and having to move away. Plus the Mind Flayer returns and reeks more havoc.
1986: He then moves to a pleasant place. Where things are sunny and warm. Things on the surface seem happy and “normal” but there’s a looming threat hidden beneath the surface. Henry/1/Vecna. This opportunistic threat preys on the weak and begins to take over Hawkins.
1987-1989: Will is back in Hawkins and his ties to the Upside Down increase. He can’t shake it off as easily as before. He also can’t shake off his love for Mike, who grows even closer to him. One thing leads to another and they become lovers (they have sex). They eventually are able to stop the contamination of Hawkins, and save everyone. Will also realizes that he has developed superpowers from his time in the Upside Down, through his blood. Mike also develops superpowers, given to him by Will.
Okay… you might understand where I’m going with this but I still must warn you before reading the next part. It’s devastatingly tragic.
The “99/100” Timeline
(I’m probably wrong on some of these details but this is what I theorize thus far):
1983: Lonnie “got” Will (CSA). Will survives the horrors done to him by his father… but barely. He is taken to the hospital and heals from it all and from flu-like symptoms (cough, nausea/vomiting).
1984: Will suffers from flashbacks. He is also plagued with the nickname “Zombie Boy” and suffering from the flashbacks of his father’s possession of him. But with the love of his family, and Mike, is able to return back to reality.
1985: He then begins to struggle with the pressures of growing up. Plus the memories of Lonnie return and reek more havoc.
1986: Things on the surface seem happy and “normal” but there’s a looming threat hidden beneath the surface. HIV -> AIDS. Opportunistic infections slowly begin to prey on Will.
1987-?: Will can’t shake off colds and infections as easily as before. He also can’t shake off his love for Mike, who grows even closer to him. One thing leads to another and they become lovers (they have sex). Will soon discovers he has HIV/AIDS, which he had transmitted to Mike. Devastated by the news, they do everything they can to fight it together. They cope through creating a DnD campaign together to process everything they’ve gone through. They play DnD in Mike’s basement until Will’s condition becomes critical. Will is forced to stay in the hospital, while Mike is unable to visit (strict rules about visitation due to the disease and because they aren’t/cannot be considered legal partners). So, Mike does the only thing he can do: he writes letters to Will and continues the story. Mike eventually loses Will, for real this time. He’s devastated, and plagued with grief, depression, and survivor’s guilt. He didn’t complete their story in time. But his family and friends support him and encourage him to finish the story. To change the ending before his time runs out too. He completes their story himself, and reads his final letter to Will’s grave.
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“anyway I think you’ll like [the ending]. sorry I couldn’t get it done [on time] but you mean so [much to me] and it’s been [so hard being without you] hope this is [enough to] last until [we meet again]. Love, [Mike].”
Attached to this letter is the full campaign. The full story of the show itself, which started on November 6th, 1983. He successfully turned back the clock, and changed their ending. They became superheroes within their story, saving Hawkins with their love. Mike dies soon after and we are met with…
Mike and Will reuniting within their own story. Blue meeting yellow at a gate, one final time, that leads “into the west”.
They continue their story and it’s a never ending story… Living on as heroes, forever and ever.
Some thoughts:
To simplify things, I didn’t include other characters much here but they likely all play an important role in the story. Many characters likely only exist within the mid layer (the 1/100 timeline).
I do think their story likely will be published, and this will be done by another character (my guess is Lucas). Their story will impact others profoundly, perhaps completely altering perspectives. This will lead towards positive change, and increase pressure for the development of a “cure”.
Lonnie obviously dies too, but we won’t see it. He’s significant but irrelevant. We don’t need to see him. Perhaps he rots in jail.
If characters like Nancy, Jonathan, Joyce, and Hopper all exist within the outer layer (the 99/100 timeline) in a similar way, they too may be inflicted with HIV/AIDS. Remember, it wasn’t just gay men, everyone was affected by this awful epidemic.
The time period is super relevant in this story. There’s no way that HIV/AIDS will not play an important role. Think about it… it revolves around two gay boys growing up during that time. This epidemic was widespread and terrifying. Had they been born a decade later, there would have been treatments/“cures” accessible to them.
The biggest reason why I strongly believe this theory is because… this is basically the ending of Stranger Things season 1, on a much grander scale. Think about it. Mike changed the ending of the DnD campaign so Will could be a hero, not a victim. This was further established in the comics.
While Mike and Will within the outer layer (99/100) have a tragic ending, Mike and Will within the show (1/100) do not. They beat the odds. Although it is undeniably a tragic end, remember that somewhere out there Mike and Will are still playing DnD and Nintendo for the rest of their lives.
Free Will and Writing your Own Ending
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Free will has always been a reoccurring theme within Stranger Things; meaning we can choose our own destiny, fight chance, and beat the odds.
Do we truly have free will though? Obviously, we don’t know. The point is, we should still live life as if we do have it. To take control where we can, and not let external forces dictate who we are and what our destiny is. I think that’s the message there.
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hey so thinking about stalker!quinn so bare that in mind when you click that handy dandy read more. i rambled hard core but whatever
he sees you in a book store in downtown Vancouver. your hairs just below your shoulders, you have on what looks like a black skirt and a pair of tights with black converse to match and he can’t read whatever’s on your hoodie.
all he can do is stare as your flip book after book, flushing as you read a random page before grabbing the book and holding it close.
he’s following you around the store, just grabbing random books to make himself not look like a weirdo. he needs more. needs to know who you are.
he overhears you ramble your phone number for rewards, replaying it in his head while you finish your transaction. as soon as he steps foot into his apartment, he’s googling.
he’s finding you one way or another. he learns you just graduated from Michigan State (and he cringes a little), and you just moved here for a job at the hospital. you’re 23, almost 24. you’re a pisces he’s learned, you really like music that screams in his year and taylor swift. it doesn’t make sense to him but that’s okay. he can live with it.
he finds out you live in his building. he sees you walking into the mail room and opening up box 117, that’s the floor below his. he’s learned you leave every Monday through friday at 5:30am and get home at 6:30pm. he hasn’t talked to you yet, just left flowers and dinners at your door.
he was getting out of his car when he saw you park yours. perfect, he’s thinking. he makes himself look busy while he waits for you to get to the elevator. making sure no one else is around, he’s walking to your car and sticking an air tag under your car. he’s gotta make sure you’re okay.
that following friday, he sees your at work still and against all better judgment goes down to the front desk and talks his way into getting a spare key to your apartment. he apologizes profusely to the desk, “i’m sorry my girlfriend didn’t leave hers under the mat and i’m supposed to surprise her tonight.” and who’s gonna say no to the beloved teams captain? no one.
that’s how he ended up in your apartment, placing cameras in hidden spots. he needs to learn your daily routine. what makes you tick. what you sound like when you moan.
once he’s found his way to your bedroom, he notices a pile of laundry on the floor. messy, messy girl. his eyes set on a lacy pair of underwear closer to your bed and he’s grabbing them before his brain even has time to stop him.
he made it home just in time. as soon as his doors closing, he gets a notification yours opened.
he’s pulling the cameras to see your pulling your top off and walking towards your room. his hands moving down to his sweats, trying to push them down enough when he hears your voice say his name.
“Quinn. yeah that’s the upstairs guys. no i haven’t talked to him much at all. yes he’s cute. very cute actually. but i don’t stand a chance. his face is fucking on the side of an arena dude, all i need is 10 minutes.” followed by some laughter.
baby, you’re getting more than 10 minutes.
he’s banging on your door before he knows it. as soon as your open the door, robe covering your top half, he’s pushing his way in.
“close the door.” he can see your face flushed and the anxiety all but falling from your eyes.
“you wanted 10 minutes? you can have 10 minutes but as soon as those 10 minutes are up? you’re mine. mine to use, to watch, to brand, to have, to do whatever i want with. isn’t that right? been practically begging me for months now. so why don’t you get on your knees and prove your worth?”
#qh43#quinn hughes blurb#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes headcanon#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes x reader#quinny my beloved🫶🏻#quinn hughes smut#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x you#dark!quinn#dark quinn
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There's been a lot of discussion lately about when will Eddie come out and when Buddie canon will happen. I think a lot more people are feeling optimistic that it actually will happen now so the conversation has shifted into people being worried how this is all going to play out. I've seen people saying that if Eddie comes out and Buddie is fully confirmed this season (i.e. they confess their feelings/ there's a kiss) that would be way too fast. I have some issues with that line of thinking though.
For starters after Buck came out in season 7 we had a lot of new people join fandom (even more join during the summer hiatus), which I'm glad for all the new people who have found 911 particularly because the majority are now rooting for Buddie. Still I feel like a lot of the newer fan's opinions (on this topic) are being heard over some of us who have been in fandom for years.
I'm not saying if you're a newbie that your opinions on the show don't matter but I do think you should take the time to listen to those of us who have been around longer. The fact is if us long time Buddie fans hadn't been rooting for this ship for years we wouldn't even be as close to them becoming canon as we are. Buck likely wouldn't have had his bi awakening if not for us either. We've supported the show and pushed them for years to give these characters the storylines they deserve. That should matter when you're talking about something like how and when Buddie canon will happen.
I understand that people want Buddie to get together in just the right way but I think we all need to realize there is no one right way this will happen. We need to make peace now before it happens that there will be things about them coming together we won't expect even things we may not exactly like. All that matters is they finally get to take their relationship to that next level. That both Buck and Eddie get to realize their person their soulmate has always been right beside them. The other mains have had their person for years it's beyond time for Buck and Eddie to (consciously fully) have that too.
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I've seen people say that Eddie deserves a long journey to figuring out his sexuality and he needs to work on his mental health before being with Buck. And while I do think Eddie deserves more focus and screen time I don't see 911 doing a long drawn out thing with him. 911 typically does smaller 1-3 ep arcs for their characters. There's also the fact that they've been dropping hints for Eddie's coming out these past two seasons. Ones I'm positive they will connect back to other things throughout the series, like why it never worked out with him in his relationships with women.
I'm also personally not a fan of the logic that someone needs to do all these things to change themselves to be ready for love. Buck and Eddie have seen each other through their best and their worst. The show has literally made it a point to tell you that's what love is on numerous occasions. They said that love is about stepping into someone's mess with them. Why is it that Bobby didn't need to be a perfect person before he was worthy of Athena's love? Go back and watch season 1 Bobby was not in a good place when they got together. He was getting better but he was still struggling and up until the end of the season was still thinking about ending his life. But we see Athena "step into the mess" with him. She starts by going to church with him and we see them in s2 (early on in their relationship) talk about his past at different times.
I just feel like this fandom sometimes holds Eddie to unfair standards. He's been struggling for the past couple of seasons but I honestly think we're going to find out in 8b that it's connected to him having not felt able to live his truth. We saw in 806 that Eddie is starting to embrace joy and taking steps to fully be himself. That he's starting even in small ways to take ownership of what he wants and doing things for himself not because he feels obligated to.
I think him going back to Texas is not just to get Chris but the shows way of giving him a rebirth of sorts. They're bringing him back to where he's from and it's where I think Eddie is going to realize who he is and what he wants (Buck) and that him and Chris don't belong in Texas they belong in LA with Buck and the rest of their found family. And this time Eddie will get to make the decision to leave not based on fear or desperation or running away from his life but based on knowing where he truly belongs.
I know there's also a worry that if Eddie comes out in 8b it will feel rushed but the length of the story being told shouldn't be the main concern it should be how well the show tells it.
They could have him realize his feelings for Buck (because I do think him figuring out his sexuality is going to be tied to that) while he's still in Texas. That could be one whole episode just Eddie (like they did for Bobby in s7) or have it play out over a few eps. Then Eddie comes home and Buddie canon happens by the end of s8. I also feel like people are forgetting we have quite a few eps for 8b left to go so it's not like Eddie coming out and Buddie canon are both going to happen in 1 or 2 eps right after the other. It's very likely Eddie realizing his feelings will happen earlier and Buddie canon will happen in one of the last eps of the season.
Also even if they have Eddie come out in one ep that doesn't mean it's the end of him ever talking about his sexuality or facing any struggles with it. We haven't seen Buck facing much struggle when it comes to his sexuality but I think it will be different with Eddie. Even if Buddie officially get together in s8 in s9 we could still see things like Eddie having mixed feelings over being out especially when it comes to stuff like pda. Maybe we could even see Eddie talking to the priest again. Eddie coming out and Buddie canon happening doesn't mean it's the end of Eddie's sexuality journey it's just the beginning.
Like I said before we need to make peace that every part of these stories isn't going to make everyone happy but I think the last thing we should be doing when Eddie comes out and Buddie canon happens is look for reasons to criticize the show for how it happens. They will inevitably receive hate from bummys and people who will accuse them of making the show too gay. We can't add to that by complaining that a storyline didn't happen in a perfect way. If they actually finally go there with these characters we need to celebrate the show and be louder with our praise than any bs they'll get.
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On the subject of Buddie I've seen people say that if they confess their feelings for one another by the end of 8b it will feel rushed that the general audience won't get what's happening because the show hasn't set the groundwork for their relationship. I feel like I'm seeing this argument more from newer fans which I guess makes sense because to you it probably does seem like everything is moving fast. But for those of us who have watched Buck and Eddie's relationship develop over years and years this has all been a long long time coming in fact it's beyond overdue.
Some of you need to remember that Buck was supposed to come out in s4 (the shooting was likely to be the catalyst to him realizing his feelings for Eddie) and Eddie in s5 which means Buddie canon was likely to happen that same season. How can s8 be too soon when they were supposed to get together three seasons ago? They have literally been through almost everything Madney and Bathena have been through or some variation thereof. If Buck and Eddie were a straight couple they would have been married already. Buck and Eddie have spent 7 years building their relationship. Building a life and family together. Them finally admitting they're in love with each other is simply the natural progression their relationship should be taking from best friends (that have always been more than friends) to lovers. I think another reason people question if it's too fast for this to happen in s8 is because a queer couple like this has never happened on a show like 911 before. There's been plenty of slow burn straight couples. Which is why I'm positive if Buck and Eddie were a guy and a girl there wouldn't be this big debate over if it should happen now, people would be saying what the hell is this show even doing? Why haven't they kissed already?
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A big point about all of this that I feel like is being left out of the discussions is that 911 is made in the US and is first and foremost made for US audiences. I bring this up because as someone who is from the states it's very apparent there's a huge uprising of anti lgbtq rhetoric and legislation here right now. I know it probably seems unfathomable to some people that the US government could do something like ban lgbtq people from TV but there's already been pushes to ban things like lgbtq books on a state level so it could happen. But what is more likely is networks and companies have already started to capitulate to trump to protect themselves and their money. We have no way of knowing how bad things will continue to get with trump and how a network like ABC will behave in the future. We don't have the luxury to sit back and say let's wait until s9 or 10 for Buddie to officially get together when there's no certainty of what will even be happening in the US by the time those seasons are made.
Connected to that same topic of what's going on not just in the US but in other countries too. This attack on lgbtq rights means it's more important than ever for Buddie to finally be together. I know that 911 has always had queer characters and ships and they should always be respected for the important representation they've given on the show since day one (particularly characters like Henren and their family) but Buck and Eddie are ground breaking in a way we really haven't seen on TV before. Two men who are best friends and who have come out later in life. Who have fallen for each other over years of building their relationship. Who have spent years raising their son together. Who are an interracial couple. Buck and Eddie in a loving relationship together as a family with Chris is vital representation the world needs to see right now. That lgbtq people need to see. We need to see more depictions of queer joy in the face of all of this hate.
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I see people keep pushing back the time frame of when Buddie should officially get together when we were in s7 people were saying s8 now I've seen them say s9, I've even seen some people recently say s10. I need some of you to realize 911 is a network TV show and that this isn't the golden age of TV anymore. TV shows get canceled left and right sometimes for no reason at all. 911 itself was canceled from Fox after s6 not because no one was watching it but because Fox felt it was too expensive to make. 911 is a super successful show one that will likely go on to it's 9th season and that's an amazing thing when a lot of shows now barely even make it past like two seasons. But because 911 is so many seasons in and is so costly not just to make but also for the cast that means there's always a risk that it could get canceled again. I hope that 911 goes on for at least 10 more seasons but we can't guarantee that at all. The more we push Buddie back the more we run the risk of them not happening at all.
The other thing is I don't want Buddie canon happening at the end of their last season. I want to see how Buck and Eddie's relationship develops and changes once they're officially together. I want to see all the good and bad stuff they go through like moving in together and telling everyone (especially Chris). I want to see how their parents react. How that changes things for them at work. They deserve to have an epic love story just as grand as any of the other main couples have had.
To add to the point of us not knowing how long the show may go on for we also have no idea how long all of the actors plan to stay with the show. I'm not sure how long the contracts they've all signed are for at this point but they've all been with the show a very long time. It's clear they all love working together and I can't see any of them giving that up right now but that could change. We're lucky that Oliver and Ryan have continued to stay with the show after this many years but we can't guarantee they will stay forever. Eventually they could want to go off and work on something else or just get tired of playing the same character. The fact is everything is in the right place at the right time for Buddie canon to happen now. It has to happen now or it may not happen at all.
Also as much as some of you want them to drag out Buck and Eddie getting together I think you underestimate how long the fanbase is willing to hang on for. Like I said some of us have been waiting for Buddie to happen for years we're tired. I almost stopped watching the show after s6 I was that fed up with how they handled things. I'm positive if something doesn't change by the end of s8 that there are people who will stop watching.
I know some have said they want to see Buck and Eddie realizing their feelings and going into s9 pinning. I don't think the show needs to drag out their will they/won't they any longer. I've seen some people say well Buddie hasn't really had a will they/won't they because it wasn't explicit in the show. Buck and Eddie have never been written as just friends. Go compare them to Chim and Hen's friendship. There has always been more there between them always. Again if this was a straight couple people would be complaining constantly wondering why they weren't together yet. They don't have to be kissing for it to be a slow burn. They've done everything but though. I mean what do you call that scene in the kitchen in 3x09? Eddie literally put Buck in his will. He told Buck he trusts him above anyone else with Chris. Buck sobbed when he knew Eddie was going to be okay after he was shot (he's never reacted that way over anyone else on the show getting hurt). Eddie counted the seconds when Buck wasn't breathing. These two men love one another they just haven't admitted it yet.
We don't need more time to tell this story. 911 hasn't always gotten it right (see the weird Vertigo story) but when it's good it can be fcking amazing. The shooting eps are some of my fav eps of tv ever and not just of 911. I have faith in Tim and the show. Tim has wanted to put Buck and Eddie together for a long time and I know he knows he only has one chance to tell this story and get it right. I have faith that him and the actors and writers will do the story justice however it gets told. I know they know it means a lot to so many people. And you know the truth is we're lucky that our ship is even at this point. That we can all debate about how Buddie canon should happen because we're all so sure now that it is in fact happening. Cause the show was very close to ending on a finale that had Buck and Eddie ending up with other partners. Buddie would have only been able to continue to live on in fanon. Instead I truly believe we are months away from the show making history.
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His Mistress | CS 55
carlos sainz x fem!reader
warn: mdni, possessive, harsh carlos, cheating
please do not read it uf youre not into dark fic!
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Carlos Sainz had it all. The last name, the wealth, the looks, the charm. His family owned one of the largest automotive empires in the world, and Carlos? He was their golden boy—successful in his own right, running his own business in the same industry. Everyone loved him. The media adored him, his parents were proud, and people saw him as this picture-perfect man—humble, respectful, and effortlessly charismatic.
And now, with the news of his engagement to Rebecca, an insanely gorgeous and world-renowned model, the public’s obsession with him only grew stronger. Power couple, they called them. A match made in heaven. Everyone was convinced Carlos had the perfect life.
Everyone, except one person.
Y/N.
Because unlike the rest of the world, Y/N knew who Carlos Sainz truly was.
And she knew, because she was the secret he kept locked away.
No one else knew about the luxurious house tucked away in the hills, far from the noise of the city. No one else had ever seen the woman who lived inside. A woman so stunning, so unreal in her beauty, that Carlos had never been able to let go. He met her years ago when she worked as his personal assistant, and from the moment their eyes met, he knew. There was something about her—something addictive, something he wanted to keep to himself.
So he did.
Y/N hadn’t stepped out of this house in years. Not because she couldn’t, but because Carlos wouldn’t let her. No one else got to see her. No one else got to have her.
She was his.
—
Carlos stormed into the house that night, his jaw tight, his patience worn thin.
He had just come from a family meeting—one where his parents and Rebecca’s team had gone over details for his wedding. His future. As if he even gave a shit about any of it. He hated the idea of marriage. Hated feeling trapped.
And now? He needed an escape.
Needed her.
The moment he saw Y/N standing there, he crossed the room in three long strides, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into him. She barely had time to breathe before his lips crashed onto hers, his hands gripping her like he needed to remind himself that she was real. That she was still here, still his.
And she let him. Because what else could she do?
The room was silent after. Only the sound of their heavy breaths remained, mingling in the space between them. Carlos was still lying beside her, his arm draped lazily over her bare waist when his phone buzzed on the nightstand.
Rebecca.
He exhaled sharply, grabbing the phone and unlocking it.
She had sent a series of messages, asking for his opinion on which wedding gown to wear.
Carlos barely glanced at the options before passing the phone to Y/N. “Reply to her,” he muttered.
Y/N hesitated, staring at the screen.
“Now.” His voice was sharp, leaving no room for argument.
Her fingers trembled slightly as she typed out a response, picking a gown at random.
Moments later, Rebecca called.
Carlos didn’t even hesitate before answering, his voice soft, sweet, nothing like the man who had just pinned Y/N down minutes ago.
“Hi, cariño,” Rebecca’s voice chirped through the speaker. “I’m so happy you picked this gown. It’s my favorite too.”
Carlos forced a small chuckle, eyes flicking to Y/N. She was staring at the ceiling, trying not to react.
After a few more seconds of Rebecca’s excited chatter, the call ended.
The second the screen went dark, the temperature in the room shifted. Carlos turned his head, his gaze dark, sharp, cutting straight through Y/N like a blade.
“What gown did you pick?” His voice was eerily calm.
Y/N swallowed, then slowly showed him the picture.
Silence.
Then, “Why did you pick that one?”
She hesitated, then spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s… beautiful.”
Carlos let out a dry laugh. A humorless, mocking sound.
His fingers tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Did you pick it because you like it?” His voice was lower now, almost a whisper. “Did you think about yourself in it?”
Her breath hitched.
“Did you think,” Carlos continued, his grip tightening, “that one day you could wear a dress like this?”
Y/N’s lips parted, but no words came out.
A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, though there was no warmth behind it. He leaned in, voice dripping in something cold, something final.
“Never.”
His thumb brushed over her bottom lip, almost gently. Almost.
“You don’t get to dream about that, cariño. You don’t get to think about a life where you wear a dress like that.” His voice was sharp now, biting. “You belong here. With me. And only me.”
A single tear slipped down Y/N’s cheek.
Carlos watched it fall, his expression unreadable.
And then he kissed her again—slow, deep, claiming.
As if sealing a promise.
As if reminding her—
That no matter what, no matter who the world thought he was, no matter how perfect he seemed—
She would always be his best-kept secret.
#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 fluff#carlos sainz x reader#f1 x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz jr#cs55
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My ideal sequel to The Hobbit (ignoring LOTR, the OTTrilogy can continue being perfect forever as a completely separate concept) is a vaguely slapstick groundhog’s day style redo where every time Bilbo dies he’s sent back to the day Gandalf arrives to invite him on an adventure.
It starts off enthusiastic because Bilbo is going to do everything right this time, he’s going to tell Gandalf immediately so they can fix everything and save everyone and stop Sauron.
But Bilbo keeps dying and everything keeps going wrong in new and incredible ways. They try the whole eagle thing. They try going with a massive army. Bilbo tries sneaking past Shelob, so many times.
He dies to orcs, spiders and old age. He dies falling off horses, tripping off cliffs and on one memorable occasion of a heart attack.
He lives through wars and councils and losing everyone over and over again.
And eventually Bilbo is a defeated hobbit with too many deaths in his memory to count and nothing left in him to give. He wakes up after his latest failure and decides to just go on the stupid quest to Erebor because if nothing else it worked last time.
He finds himself enjoying it, enjoying spending time with these dwarves who are confused by the tiny little war veteran in their midst. He’s weirdly laissez faire about dying and surprisingly good with a sword considering he’s a hobbit.
They get attached and work together to stop their little companion from walking into oblivion and Bilbo slowly remembers what living felt like and is starting to get his motivation back. This time with the desperation that this time will work out specifically because he loves these dwarves and no other versions of them will ever be the same. He has family now and he doesn’t want to leave them behind.
Bilbo’s learnt a lot over hundreds of life times and he uses all of that knowledge to get them through safely.
Facing off with orcs, brow beating stubborn elves and whipping the gold sickness straight out of dwarves.
He comes to the end of the journey, his dwarves are safe, Erebor is reclaimed with shockingly minimal loss of life and he has the ring and the willingness to try again for Mordor - when Bofur’s like, “what do you mean Mount Doom’s the only place it can be destroyed? Sounds like you just need lava. Follow me laddie.” And takes him down to the deepest and darkest parts of the mines under Erebor where dwarves have dug the deepest and uncovered great chasms at the bottom of which flow molten rivers of magma.
They drop in the ring.
It floats on the surfaces for a moment before it cracks and dissipates with an unsettling scream.
In the distance to the east a tower falls and orcs and goblins watch with horror as the eye melts and shatters.
Down the depths of Erebor Bilbo lets out a great sigh of relief.
“It’s almost four Bilbo, we should get you some tea before that stomach of yours starts a revolt.”
And Bilbo goes back up into the sunlight to settle in for a nice afternoon visit with his dwarves in the garden they built for him on the slopes of Erebor.
#the hobbit#what if#groundhog’s day#but way more depressing#slap some benny hill music over the top#bagginshield#bilbo baggins#fanfic#fatalist Bilbo gives limited shits#I just want to see thranduil face some verbal slap down#dwarves learn to fear the hobbit#and then learn to fear for the hobbit
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Ignore how this is my first hc in like…awhile
IM A LIL RUSTY PLS HAVE MERCY
So hi <33 it’s nearing Valentine’s Day which means “omg what would the ts lis do for Valentine’s Day??”
These are far from perfect but I hope you enjoy !! :D
Valentine’s Day In Eridia
Warnings: Rustyyy, a lil suggestive in some of them but nothing too bad, Ais is mentioned to be a lil depressed,and Probably ooc !!
Notes: Gn reader, fluff!
Mhin
Starting with my favorite hshshshs
Mhin isn’t one that usually celebrates things—they don’t see the point. They’re living in an apocalyptic world they need to survive not waste time on chocolates and the stress of making the perfect evening.
But then there’s you…and they end up doing a lot of ‘unnecessary’ things for you even subconsciously.
Despite their grumblings, they do end up finding out how to celebrate.
STAR GAZING !!!! Duh !!
Simple and sweet, just putting aside time for you two to be close and gaze at the night sky.
Butbutbut !! I had an idea !! That may be just utterly silly but I’ll try to make it coherent.
Imagine this okay !
Mhin goes to visit you, shoulders hunched as they try to avoid getting pushed around by the massive crowd. The music is loud, boisterous, too much.
And you realize that when you find them trying to withhold murderous rage in a dark corner.
You had wanted to try out dancing, but you know the crowd in the Wet Wick is going to make that impossible to enjoy. For either just Mhin or both of you if you also don’t like crowds.
So you go to your favorite spot instead. the place you usually watch stars at.
And idk ?? I always pictured that happening on a freaking roof because I personally want to hang out on a roof but you can imagine something different if you want.
The music can still be heard from below, but it’s far more muffled and bearable.
SO !!! okay if this is cringey spare me please LOOK AWAY !
Hem hem…dancing on the roof !!
The music is loud enough for it to not be awkward hshsh-and the moon is out, the stars are clearer than you’ve ever seen them
And it may be silly but it’s the good type of silly okay. The 3 am sleepover type goofy.
You’re having pointless fun. Dancing in a world that’s dying more each day. You’re both cursed beyond a known cure. But you, and surprisingly even Mhin, forget that for a night.
OKAY THAT WAS SUPER LONG MY BAD
Can you tell who my favorite is
Leander
the absolute OPPOSITE of Mhin
He goes ALL out. This is not everyone’s holiday anymore. This is YOUR holiday. His and yours. This day is about only YOU two now.
You open your door and his stupid face is already there with arms holding a mountain of presents.
“Omg how did you afford all this??”
HES RICH !!! STUPID RICH BOY
The presents range from chocolates to a new wardrobe. Especially couple outfits. Especially VALENTINES DAY SPECIFIC couple outfits.
If you’re not comfy with that tho he’d be okay with that too. “As long as people know ur mine it’s fine with me ☺️” *smacks him*
After presents he wants to carry you downstairs. (If ur taller than him you can carry him downstairs. Actually if ur smaller you should still do it. Leander scarf.)
The bloodhounds withhold their dread for the day ahead because he is DOWN SO BAD
Heart shaped breakfast
Pink drinks (don’t drink them)
Love poems
KISSES !
When it’s evening the bloodhounds bust out the violins and candlelight. (When someone goes out of key Leander smiles at them like: 🙂” and they get pulled from the stage.)
Then to finish it all off, he shows off his magic by conjuring a trail of rose petals that lead upstairs.
You wake up the next morning and Leander is like “): you still love me right? Even tho it’s not Valentine’s Day anymore right?”
Ais
Ooooo this is tricky
Ais is very emotion-driven, but he’s not great at expressing those emotions.
He may try to do something classy for you (by Ocudeus’s command because I love that vision)
But it’s obvious he’s uncomfortable and unsure, so you have to tell him you’ll figure out how to celebrate (if you even want to) this day your own way and not what is socially expected.
He mainly just wants you. He wants time with you, to feel you, to hear you and most importantly, relax with you.
You quiet his mind, and so all he really wants is your presence.
Mainly all you do is cuddle, eat together, have a romantic sparing match 🥰✨ and maybe even take a nice bath together.
He loves having his hair washed by you—maybe he even forgets to do it sometimes due to those unseen battles you know he has—and ahh frick I forgot we have cursed hands.
Maybe you wash his hair with your toes idk.
Or wear like those !! Rubber gloves !!
Point is
It’s way more natural with you guys. A domestic routine that you slip so easily into.
It’s a day without any stress, and focused solely on the two of you taking care of each other.
And of course, you don’t forget to get Valentine’s Day treats for all the soulless <33 (especially for Princess because duh)
Kuras
Another toughie!
I can’t decide if he has a hard time because he busies himself with work or since he’s had so many relationships since he’s immortal he knows to set aside that time
To make it easier for me let’s just say he busies himself.
He’s extremely hard on himself so I can picture him thinking he’s undeserving of even celebrating in the first place. (If we’re ignoring him making a cake for Mhin shshsh)
And maybe his heart is just tired.
He’s had lovers, he’s watched them go, and with you? You’re different to him somehow.
He doesn’t know if he should indulge in these feelings. If he can handle the heartbreak again.
Luckily you know Kuras well enough by now to see the guilt and doubt before it digs itself too deep.
With help from Ais, Mhin, and Leander (he inserted himself but also he’s a peacemaker between Ais and Mhin lmaohshs) you manage to convince Kuras to leave the clinic in those there’s hands and just focus on you two.
I like to think Kuras starts out more somber. He’s quiet. Only a small twitch to his brow warns of any building anxieties.
To set the scene more I kinda picture him like ?? As a calmer Julian Devorak in this situation ahshshs just in the way he’s like ‘do I deserve this?’
At one point you take his hands, “Kuras, Talk to me.”
He tries to deny it, to hide it gently and inconspicuously. But you know him. And the Angel can no longer hide his fear from you.
You take him somewhere quiet, where you can sit down and just enjoy each other’s company. Maybe you watch the sunset and like ?? You remind him that you aren’t going anywhere. Not now.
He spends more time just kinda cupping your cheeks, memorizing your face with caresses and soft touches.
When you get home, he wishes to memorize the rest of you too. If you have to become a memory one day, he wants it to be one that consumes him.
Vere
Thought this was gonna be tricky because vere is my ENEMY when it comes to these but !! I actually have a few ideas !!
Doesn’t see the point in sappy old VALENTINE’S DAY
What? You expect him ? A GOD a DEITY to lower himself to a pointless little human tradition?
“You can celebrate me everyday 🙄 why wait ?”
But you know it’s really just because he’s uncomfortable with the idea.
Similar to Ais, he’s more of ‘actions instead of emotions’ and this is a sign of commitment! And he’s still very unsure how to proceed with that sincerely.
And maybe even the day hits some sore spots—if the theory he had a past lover is correct —
He’s just scared. And hiding it by being snarky.
So just give him time to adjust. He does come around. Especially when you don’t start with anything too deep.
You write him small notes. Nothing too sappy but loving. Maybe you add a few puns you know he’ll laugh at.
But then…*evil laugh* after he’s been used to this, and is more comfortable in the relationship—
He spoils you soooo bad
Maybe he even goes overboard with it lmaoshshs.
He turns it into a whole week of just celebrating you. (Not as loudly as Leander, though. He wants to keep it secret so ya know—the Senobium doesn’t ruin it)
Spa day but inside, he wants to see you with any part of his clothes on. He’s far more touchy—he rubs his face on you like a cat HSHSH
And just a looot of time in bed. Doesn’t even need to be sexual, he just wants you close. His treasure. His his his his.
Im becoming a vere girlie and I’m so unwell
OKAY WE’VE REACHED THE END WOOO !!
I hope you enjoyed <33 if this was cringey….🥺 pls don’t murder me I’ll give you ten dollars
#touchstarved game#touchstarved x reader#touchstarved headcanons#touchstarved fanfic#touchstarved#touchstarved mhin#touchstarved vere#Touchstarved Kuras#Touchstarved Leander#Touchstarved Ais#mhin#Ais#vere#Kuras#Leander
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𝜗𝜚 the breaker | mattheo riddle
warnings: toxic!mattheo (like extremely), psychological abuse, drug use and drugging, corruption, blackmail mention, manipulation & coercion
THE BREAKER. usually it’s the heartbreaker, but you know better than that. at the end of the day, mattheo is nothing more than his father’s son. we all know how toxic he can get, sometimes people might like the toxic fantasy. but what if it got worse? more dangerous than that? would you still want him then? he’d make sure you would.
THE BREAKER. a man who’s dangerous and cunning, who knows how to get a job done when he’s ordered. and when his father ordered that he get information out of you? the pure and innocent girl who had been wrapped into dumbledore’s schemes? well, it was almost too easy for him. so in pure mattheo style, he had to make it fun. not fun for you, oh no. just fun for him.
THE BREAKER started with a clock. a ticking clock. act one of his plan was to get you to trust him, to fall in love. he’d make you feel special, like you where the only girl in the entire world. astrology dates, picnics at lunch, sneaking off in the middle of the night for nothing more than a simple hangout. he was insatiable for you, there was nothing that could go wrong. right? he’ll give you the time of your life in any way you can imagine once he has a hold of you, taking all of your firsts so nobody else could have them without you thinking of him. dancing in the kitchen? he’s pouring wine. your first kiss? already perfected his lips. any intimate moment? already crafted careful and sweet just for your tastes. tastes he doesn’t care too much about, but he’d need in the long run.
THE BREAKER who has fun playing with you once he truly gets you. you’re already too far down to notice that he’s slowly manipulating you. he’ll isolate you from friends. lie to you about things. lovebomb and blackmail you. you’d question everything about anything, whether he truly loved you. surely he did, right? he did all of those nice things. so why would he do this? surely this wasn’t the mattheo you knew. did you deserve this treatment? and anytime you’d try to leave? he’d play a game of chase, always in the woods where you end up back in his arms and your mind fuzzy with the after effects of amortentia. maybe somewhere down the line he fell for you too, though you would never truly know.
THE BREAKER who slowly starts to control your entire life. friends? gone. food? fed directly by him. classes? he could easily threaten the teachers into his bidding. clothing? all chosen by him now, pink and dainty just like a porcelain doll. he liked the innocence you had about you, wanting to preserve it in any way he could.
THE BREAKER who stole a bit of your magic in your sleep to enchant chess pieces. they represented his control over you, every move bringing him farther and farther into your mind until you had no choice but to obey everything. and once you did? you’d become his entire world. something that could follow orders and listen to commands aimlessly, something that he started to admire for those qualities. you had finally won over his affection, which only pulled you in deeper and deeper. you’d tell him secrets about everything, do anything that he asked. and when you were asked why? it’s nothing more than just pure love!
THE BREAKER who broke you so far you can’t recognize yourself in the mirror anymore. you’ve changed, a living doll for his amusement. but that didn’t matter anymore. only he needed to see you now.
#wisty’s aus#mattheo riddle x y/n#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo x you#mattheoxreader#mattheo x y/n#mattheo riddle#toxic mattheo#toxic mattheo riddle#slytherin boys#the breaker au
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I know I keep going on about this, but I really do think that the majority of the Buffy fandom downplays the importance of Buffy's relationship with her mother to, at times, an almost ludicrous extent. Obviously it's not a perfect relationship (if you think Buffy has a perfect relationship with anyone on the show you've really not been paying attention) and indeed at times it's a very strained one, but it's a central part of understanding who Buffy is and why she says and does things that a lot of writing about Buffy on this site just ... pretends isn't there.
There are more or less extreme examples of this -- I saw a "Giles should have adopted Buffy!" post a couple of years ago that didn't even acknowledge that Buffy had a mother who might have objected -- but so much analysis of the show seems not to engage seriously with the thought that Buffy might care about her mother as a person or worry about her mother's opinion of her. And really, the show is very, very clear about this. There are multiple episodes in the high school seasons where the emotional stakes only make sense if you accept that 'demons from hell might end the world' and 'Joyce might think her daughter is getting into trouble at school' are two roughly equivalent problems for Buffy to navigate.
I recently saw a post about Season 5 that listed Joyce's death as just one of several different reasons for Buffy's burgeoning depression that season -- along with Riley leaving and her having to drop out of college -- but .... that's not right, is it? Those aren't three isolated and independent issues at all. All of those factors go back to Buffy's mom. Riley leaves her in Into The Woods because he decided the fact she's too worried about her mom getting sick to spend time humoring his fragile ego means she doesn't really love him. Buffy drops out of college in Tough Love because her mother died and she has to take care of her sister ... which, when you remember that Dawn is explicitly presented as a stand-in for Buffy ("she's more than [my sister]," Buffy tells us in The Gift, "she's me"), can only be read as Buffy dropping out because she has to take care of herself. "Who's going to take care of us?" as she asked Dawn in Forever.
Buffy's depressive spiral in Season 5 happens because her mother dies. There are aggravating factors, sure, but this is surely the heart of it. It's not because her crappy boyfriend left or she suddenly remembered she was a Slayer. It's because her mom gets sick and dies, and Buffy Summers -- who is afraid of hospitals, who blames herself for every death in Sunnydale, who has been trying to protect her mother from the supernatural for years, who hates the very thought of there being problems in the world she can't solve, who loves her mother more than she can say -- doesn't know what to do about it.
"I don't know how to live in the world [...] if everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish my mom was here," she tells Giles in The Gift. It's Buffy who turns to the door to let the shadow of her mother back inside in Forever, and Dawn who has to break the spell that brought her back. In Season 6, Buffy is trapped by a demon in a fantasy world where she was never the Slayer and her mother is still alive, and it's that image of her mother, telling her that she's strong and urging her not to give up which allows her to break free. When Giles comes back to England that season, and offers Buffy a temporary reprieve from all her new financial worries, the highest praise Buffy has for him is that this uncharacteristic generosity on his part is "a little like having Mom back".
There are people in the world Buffy cares about as much as her mother (but not as many as some of you think), and there are perhaps a dozen characters who appear in the show more or get more speaking time than Joyce Summers, and there are certainly lots of characters the writers obviously care much more about as people in their own right. (Like many of you, the writers seem pretty dubious about the idea that middle-aged women could ever be interesting.)
But there is nobody in the world who means more to Buffy than her mother, and I think trying to analyze the show as if there were is going to give you a very strange impression of what's actually going on. Ideas like, well, maybe Giles should have adopted Buffy.
#btvs#PSA: this post is about the fictional character Joyce Summers#I promise that it is not in any way about your mother#nor is this an invitation to complain about her or project her failings onto Mrs Summers#if you have any issues with your own mother you'd like to share with the group then maybe do it in your own fucking post
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