#what the fuck is a newhart

[femslashspuffy]

It actually does track that I would only recognize the wwdits rosemary's baby reference (classic horror movie) and not like.... notorious crime film and old ass sitcom finale

[pollackpatrol]

what did ur mom think about the what we do in the shadows finale

she said she had low expectations but they were met LMFAO. she says she knows a lot of ppl were disappointed that nandermo didnt go canon but she was never expecting that to happen bc she wasn't expecting any kind of depth or sincerity from it. also bc mommy too smart for queerbait (neither of us think its forreal queerbait. our shared opinion of 'they're all gay/pan but the guys you want to fuck aren't fucking')

she thought the multiple endings were cute. she thought the newhart ending was funny (+ the most canon she thought nandermo would get) (her description of this is very funny BTW) and a fun callback (she watched newhart as it was airing so this was fun for her).

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

Why do you claim to enjoy sitcoms so much? You seem like an extremely cynical, jaded person in general, so I don’t really know what about the very fun, comedic nature of sitcoms would appeal to you. Not that you even really talk about the ones that you enjoy or have admitted to specifically liking that many to begin with, GOD KNOWS some poor person found that out the fucking hard way. But still, you have made a pretty big deal about how much you supposedly enjoy them very broadly in that past. It’s just very hard to really believe that considering what a toxic, miserable bitch you evidently quite enjoy being, at least most of the time!

Like, I REALLY am trying to imagine YOU of all fucking people sitting down to watch Gilligan's Island, Alf, NewsRadio, Newhart, or any other sitcom and just laughing your ass off at how funny they all are. . . . . .but I just fucking can’t! Because that is just NOT you, at all, in any fucking capacity, going by anything that you’ve EVER fucking talked about on here or on Youtube!!

My favorite parts of sitcom anon having a meltdown without direct cause is that they say like 9 things I could make fun of and all are equally valid

I think for this one I’ll ignore the 900th pants shitting about my supposed negativity (despite me gushing about most things I watch and enjoy and only speaking negatively about things I’m specifically asked about) to point out that fella couldn’t name a sitcom made after the 80’s

Like…big dawg I’m 24 years old no shit I’m not watching Alf I’m watching The Nanny like I did when I stayed up late and got sneaky access to Nick at Nite reruns

Speaking of god I adore that show Fran Drescher is still a national treasure. Genuinely one of the funniest women to ever grace the silver screen with her charms I’d run through a wall for her. She makes me want to be a better man.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (853): Thu 18th Jul 2024

My first day of mandatory overtime at work. It’s absolute bullshit that were forced to do this it should be voluntary like joining the army or wiping your arse. Every year they give us the same shit about how we need to pull together to exceed customer expectations but I'm not sure how that would even work. In order to MEET customer expectations we would need to get their order delivered on time which is what every buisness aims to do anyway so EXCEEDING customer expectations would be getting their items delivered on time and giving them a complimentary handjob…which I have to say i would do instead of having to walk up and down the factory all day on my fucking day off. Before first break I had sweat more than the England team did during the entire Euros and by the end of the day I could barely walk. As tough as this was it was just a preview of the Hell I will have to go through at Christmas again when I have to do an extra day for six cunting weeks but we'll cross that bridge when I jump off it. As shitty as today was for my feet, £184 for ten hours work. Not too bad, that will pay for another tattoo or perhaps some spending money for Greece. As soon as I got in I stuck on last night's Dynamite and was treated to a near hour long battle between MJF and Will Ospreay over the International Championship. As usual these two had their working boots on and kicked the living shit out of each other for almost sixty minutes (They almost looked as exhausted as me after finishing my shift) with MJF coming out victorious after whacking Ospreay with the Dynamite Diamond Ring. Sometimes it's necassary to force something in wrestling and MJF going back to being a heel was definitely a must after the wet fart ending to his angle with Adam Cole Bay Bay. In an ideal world the reveal of Adam Cole as The Devil would've led to a six month feud between the two but tragically both men were injured and The Elite were already doing their evil powerhouse faction at the time so The Undisputed Kingdom just got lost in the shuffle. Who knows what that rivalry would've been but regardless I'm glad that they've hit the reset button on MJF because babyface MJF without a Cole feud would've been completely hollow and pointless. I was sad to learn that legendary comedian Bob Newhart had died. His album Button Down Mind is still one of the all time great comedy albums and I think Newhart is one of the few, along with Woody Allen, Mort Sahl and Lenny Bruce, who can lay claim to having invented a new method of doing stand up. Bruce was unapologetically offfensive, Sahl showed that you could use comedy to mock key political figures, Allen introduced the idea of monologue stand up instead of joke after joke and Newhart basically invented character stand-up i.e acting out situations during a stand up routine in sketch almost in the form of a sketch. I'm sure at the time none of these fine comics thought that they were doing anything revolutionary but rather they were just delivering their jokes in ways that were most comfortable to them but you can certainly see how their choice of delivery / subject matter has influenced everything that has come since them. Newhart also seemed like a really lovely guy who didn't care that much about his place in the comedy food chain but rather just seemed happy that he was part of it. I would have liked to have seen him live but sadly I would've had to have been born fifty years earlier than I was and gotten myself a ticket for the Royal Variety Performance 1964 because that was genuinely Newhart's only UK gig so he clearly held a grudge against the Brits because of what we did to the Americans during World War 3. Either way he was a funny fucker and he will be missed.

[beansprean]

fics needed on my desk monday morning:

superhero adventures

coffin fucking in the subterranean lair

multiple newhart nandermo aus

what they actually do in the shadows (i.e. out of view of the cameras)

thank you and goodnight

THIS FINALE HAD EVERYTHING

made me cry twice each time, got meta about endings, gave us referential fever dreams that worked within the format, and centered nandor and guillermo's relationship at every turn?? i truly love a finale that isn't an 'ending' but an understanding that the characters lives continue after the show ends - esp good for a mockumentary style show like this one. and GOD the hypnosis fever dreams were very fun and i filled out several bingo slots aaaaaaa

im gonna miss this show so so much but i feel grateful that we were left so much room for creative works :')

[theycallme-thejackal]

Could you do something with this, please? In 1958, 'Nice Girls with Filthy Mouths' Midge and Lenny are at the Gaslight when Joel does Bob Newhart's act.

Pairing: Lenny Bruce & Midge Maisel Rated T Warnings: Spoilers for Nice Girls with Filthy Mouths

They sit toward the back of the Gaslight with Susie.

Lenny's arm is stretched across the back of the booth behind his wife as they watch weird act after weird act get up and...be weird.

"Okay, next up," says Jackie at the microphone. "We've got a comedian. Everybody welcome to the stage Joel Maisel."

Midge's head jerks up toward the stage, eyes widening in surprise. "Did he just say..."

Lenny looks at the stage as well. "Yep," he confirms.

"So many of you may have read the book The Hidden Persuaders. It's about Madison Avenue's marketing men and how they create the public personas we all learn to know and trust and vote for."

Midge furrows her brow. "Does this sound..."

"Familiar?" Lenny finishes.

"Yeah!" She stage whispers back.

"Have we seen him perform before?" Lenny whispers back.

"No, I would definitely remember that," Midge insists. "I would remember watching my ex do stand up."

"Right, with the shawl and the stove pipe hat and the string tie. You don't have the shawl?" The audience laughs except for the trio in the back booth.

"Seriously, where have I heard this before?" Midge asks again, growing frustrated.

"Christ, you call yourselves comics?" Susie groans. "It's Bob Newhart's act." Lenny snaps in recognition as Midge flails, swatting her manager's shoulder.

"Ow," Susie deadpans.

"That's it!" She hisses, turning to Lenny. "Why is my ex-boyfriend doing Bob Newhart's act?"

"You dated that schmuck?" Susie asks, making Lenny snicker. "The Sal Mineo looking fuck who has a perfect script and can't even do it right?"

"Yeah, it's not fast enough," Midge agrees. "The momentum's off. Bob does it better."

"Yeah, because he's Bob fucking Newhart," Susie points out.

Joel starts to wrap up his act, and Lenny scoots out of the booth, letting Midge get up. She smooths her dress. "How do I look?" She asks.

"Like you're too successful for this dump," Susie drawls.

"I like performing here," Midge reminds her. "Going back to my roots. It's a safe space to try new things."

"'til Peluso shows up," Lenny points out. She gives him a look, and he smiles. "You look great," he tells her honestly.

"Thanks." She looks back toward the stage as the audience applauds for Joel's stolen set.

Jackie takes the mic. "And now, a very funny lady. One we're proud to call our own. Ladies and gentlemen, Midge Weissman!"

Midge looks at her manager one more time. "Tits up," Susie says.

"Tits up." She smiles and heads for the stage.

Lenny leans over to Susie. “You ever gonna tell me what that means?”

“Nope.”

[adultswim2021]

Sealab 2021 #13: “Swimming in Oblivion” | May 5, 2002 - 11:45 PM | S02E03 

Okay, so Sealab did pull out a handful of post-season one episodes that I like alright. This is one of them. In this one, we are granted a behind-the-scenes look at the making of Sealab 2021, here depicted as a serious drama and not a comedy show. There’s not much of a plot so much as there is just a premise that eventually runs out. It takes it’s inspiration from the film Living in Oblivion, an independent comedy that I remember quite fondly about the making of an independent film. That movie is structured in a particular way where each act is revealed to be a dream, telescoping outward like the The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, making it more like 3 stand-alone short films with the same cast of characters. You can draw a parallel to Sealab pretty easily in that respect. The whole, standalone/lack-of-continuity thing, I mean.

There are a number of jokes and references to other things, such as the endings to Newhart and St. Elsewhere, though weirdly enough that last one is misidentified as a Citizen Kane reference. Speaking of identification, there’s a weird thing in this episode where the writer and director of the episode, here portrayed by characters from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids, are weirdly swapped. Adam Reed plays the director of the show, but Dave Willis, credited as John J. Miller, plays Adam Reed, the writer of the episode. It’s a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, a phrase that’s a reference to something that I’m not even sure is the original origin. How could I get so sloppy? I mean, you saw me casually reference Buñuel towards the end of the last paragraph, didn’t you? Damn. I fucked up!

Anyway, this one has problems, and isn’t THAT funny, but it’s better than what we’ve gotten out of season 2 so far, so I’ll take it, baby!

MAIL BAG

Anonymous writes:

Did you know the voice of Stormy is a long time Fox News correspondent. Looking good, stor-may!

I remember they made an animated thing where Stormy was a pundit as a DVD extra. I just googled it and apparently they just used audio from his radio show or TV show or whatever it is he does. So that means my dad has seen my guy! Way to go dad!

Kon writes:

The ATHF end credits slideshow with the Lincoln and the Egypt was so momentous and almost magical when it first showed up; Idk how many times I freeze-framed through it in slow-motion back in spring 2002. It eventually became wallpaper, to the point that it's jarring when you watch the first 5 and it's not there. I kinda had to force myself to appreciate it again.

They were mental, mate. But yeah, you’re very right about the wallpaper thing, because every episode that didn’t have it I thought “wow, no lincoln yet!” but when they did start up again I didn’t even make note of it at first, it was just correct. Let’s hear it for them credits

[lachlann-macnab]

Task #16 Jukebox Musical/TV or Movie Soundtrack: come up with a playlist of at least 10 songs, write a scene summary to go with each one. Disclaimer under the cut.

Disclaimer: I, once again, decided to abuse the system. Nowhere on the prompt does it say that the scenes have to be related to a character I have, that's why I present to you: "The prompt, but short stories done with characters Jean would love to write but doesn't have the time to actually have".

Also, weeb rights.

*King  (English cover) -Will Stetson John Kingsbury 

Watch your back no warning warning Taking all my stress there's only just one thing to do Brace yourself for all my love's attack now Left side right side Bear your fangs it's time to fight Pa - pa - pa parade in shame tonight Left side. Right side. Bear your fangs and come alive Pa- pa - pa, Hah! You are king!

Mother always did like Richard best. 

Screw that, everyone always did like Richard best, even John liked his brother more than he liked himself. Even so, when he had been declared MIA during a mission with The Order, John quickly became the first option (the only option) for everyone -he was on cloud nine.

His new comrades didn't quite like him, but John didn't quite mind since he'd make sure that by the end of that year they'd be kneeling to him. Just  like he'd make sure that Richard never, ever came back, even if that meant making allies with a certain policeman and some Magicks whose information he'd make sure to erase from The Order's databases.

Pa, pa- pa Hah! He was (finally) King!

*La mer - Julio Iglesias cover  Basil Rathbone 

Mrs. Judson would have never expected to hear Julio Iglesias, of all things, coming from the flat. It was a strangely cheerful song for someone like Basil to hear, being the snob (not only musical, but general snob) he'd always been.

She was unsure about whether she really wanted to open the door, suddenly afraid of what she might find on the other side. Sometimes Basil would be immersed reading files upon files upon files, sometimes he would be languishing on the sofa while staring blankly at the roof, sometimes he would be walking around while talking to himself in a very obvious bout of mania -he was a wild card, that Basil, and the fact that she simply couldn't guess what he'd do next always worried her.

Worried as she was, she opened the door.

She found Basil staring at the portrait that hung just above the chimney, just...watching it. 

"I have always quite admired Le Carré's works" Basil merely said, without even looking at Mrs. Judson and instead keeping his attention on his own personal Karla while the song went on and on, silently hurting in all of the right places.

*Everybody loves me - OneRepublic  Kuzco Apaza

Get down, Swaying to my own sound Flashes in my face now All I know is everybody loves me Everybody loves me

Kuzco was on a roll. 

He felt the stares as he made the street his personal catwalk and kept (very loudly) chatting with his lawyers on the other side of the phone. The sun was shining surprisingly strongly that day (surprisingly for that side of the world, that is), it's rays hit his jewelry and clothes and made him shine almost as strongly as the star itself.

There was no way anyone could ignore him. And he couldn't blame them -he was fabulous! A gift of the gods themselves, almost as brilliant as the sun and twice (no, thrice) as charming!

...and he was shouting his plans to build a waterpark on Atlantis Lake. And, sure, people didn't seem to love the idea quite yet, but...?

At least they were staring. And they'd eventually learn to love him.

*Dramaturgy (English cover) - Will Stetson Hans Westergård 

All alone now no one’s looking, act out in greed deceiving all their eyes But there’s no real me that You’ll find if you believe and I can’t find a single role that showed what’s really there to see

He caught the eyes of his reflection by accident.

Hans had tilted his head and his eyes had almost immediately found his own reflection against the showcases, making him forget about his date (what was her name again? He couldn't, for the life of him, remember that but he certainly did remember how much her net-worth was and which medicines she needed to take at what hours of the day, just like her previous beau had needed to do before the "accident" had happened) and focus instead on his own eyes.

The thing is...he couldn't find anything in there; The baby blue went on and on but there was nothing beyond- behind it-

-when he moved his gaze, however, he found that he was smiling even if he didn't felt like it. And that his carefully selected clothes looked as they had been designed just for him to wear (and they had), and that his globed hands were still holding his date's recent purchases inside the yellow bag even if he found every item utterly tacky and a ridiculous expense.

He was smiling and looking good and doing perfectly. So why did finding his own gaze him the same effect as placing a mirror in front of another, creating a ever going loop of emptiness?

Was he not playing his part correctly? What could possibly fill that void?

*My Neighbor Totoro/Azumi Inoue Music Box ver - R3 Music Box Totoro Seishin 

Totoro decided to take a nap under the sun while Chu and Chibi were busy playing with some squirrels. It was a sunny day and there was no place he'd rather be but outside, basking and feeling the grass under him.

At one point, however, he felt some extra weight on him. He didn't feel like moving or particularly offended by something deciding to lay on him, it was just amusing.

He couldn't be bothered to open both eyes, so he only opened one, finding a sleeping girl against his chest as if that was the most normal thing to do.

He smiled, closed his eye and decided that was quite fine by him.

*Delusion Girl - Oktavia Cover (TW Suicide and Mental Illness) Bernard Newhart

Every hero knows when they’re needed, so, that’s just what he’s born to be A man who manages throwing out his hand, Who doesn’t care if his own life is spared Such a feat like that, it’s a selfless act only completed in dreams And it stays like that for me With a crash I’m trapped back in reality

Bernard wanted to help, he really did. He just...didn't always know how. Nor did he know if it really matter.

His partner always seemed to be five steps ahead and the Australian she'd taken a fancy to was just like her, if not a couple of steps ahead of even her. And it made Bernard feel like a third wheel, to question if he was really doing something worthy, if he had done something, anything sufficiently good ever and-

-he caught the girl's cellphone before she ever noticed it had slid out of her hands. And soon enough he was getting hugged and receiving many 'thank you's and- and maybe that was enough?

*The Lost One's Weeping (English Cover) - Will Stetson (TW   Depression) Martin Ambrosius (Merlin)

And no matter how much time passes us by, We’re drunk on sweet and hypnotic lies. With all our sources of hardened pride We try to erase and hide now

Martin would always act indignant at the question, and would always reply with a 'I am under no obligation to use my magic to explain or prove anything to the likes of you'.

He was Merlin's blood, for fuck's sake! He didn't have anyone to prove anything to save for maybe the Once and Future King himself!

Oh how he hoped, deep, deep inside, that he would never wake, that he would never ask any questions, that he would never do anything but keep dreaming his mythical dream and let him live his unmagic life.

He was a showman, he loved smoke and light and mirrors, he could fool anyone, anytime -but he knew that wouldn't be enough if (when) the time came, that the Once and Future King would need an actual advisor, an actual wizard.

He prayed that day never came to pass.

*When you're evil - Aurelio Voltaire Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

It gets so lonely being evil What I'd do to see a smile Even for a little while And no one loves you when you're evil I'm lying through my teeth! Your tears are all the company I need

"Ah, Perry the Platypus! Don't shake too much or you'll make the laser sharks angry and- no, hey! the insurance doesn't cover laser damage to the roo- yeah, that's better thank you. You might be wondering what this is all about- you see, noone has decided to play ME so far so- BEHOLD, THE HEINZ DOOFEN-INATOR! (patent pending) WITH THIS DEVICE I SHALL HIJACK ONE UNLUCKY ROLEPLAYER'S DRAFTS AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY CONSUME THE WHOLE THING THEN THE OTHER POSTS ON THE DASH, THEN THE WHOLE BEING DISNEY PAGE, THEN- HEY! HEY, DON'T DO THA- I'M NOT DONE WITH MY EVIL MONOLOGUE!"

*DEAD HAND - anakin ft. IA English (Ferry Cover)  (TW  Nuclear Warfare mention) Major Francis Monogram

Oh this is overwhelming, time for the iron curtain call The panic is seeping through the fractured border wall My livid heart powers this reactor core “Oh this is all wrong” but I don’t mind at all Turn up the volume, execute the protocol You know it’s M.A.D. and it’s all about to blow What an unfortunate way to end this show I shed a tear as you vanish in the snow

Francis had zero interest in dealing with anyone's shit (save for his own or his son's, that is) ever again; He'd done his time and the whole thing during the fucking Cold War had done a number on his nerves.

He still could remember how all seemed lost, an adequately mad situation (of Mutually Assured Destruction, that is) had come to pass and everyone in the HQ was losing his mind and running around like a bunch of headless chickens-

-until he very calmly pressed a couple of buttons and the thing was ok once more. Some people cried, some people laughed, some people shouted.

(Dramatic bitches, all of them. They didn't have to cause a scene just because of the fucking coffee machine)

That was one of many situations that made him love his retirement and not want to let go of it.

*Gasoline - Halsey (Captain) John Silver

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

'Phantom limb pain' sounded way cooler than it actually was. Silver would rather call it 'a pain in the ass' any day, but that'd be a misnomer since what hurt was his stupid (lack of) arm and not his ass and he was not risking some smartass trying to make a joke about his butt, thank you very fucking much.

Like, fuck, 'phantom pain' could be a sick name for a metal (heh) band. And hiding things inside his prosthetic was one of the few perks the whole thing offered, just like the fact that he could smack people with the thing without having to bother about hurting himself or dealing with that pain.

However, during that cold night he couldn't think of any possitives about the damned thing and cursed his rotten luck, his (lack of) arm and the thoughts that came along with them.

[acrossdeeprivers]

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

When we think of women in the 1950s, particularly American women, we think about their very distinct aesthetics, the pop-y pastel-colored dresses, the carefully structured hairdos, and that honey-glazed, always enthused manner of presenting oneself. Personalities brighter than the sun. That’s a postcard image of a 50’s woman, a pop culture cliché.

Of course, not all of them talk and walk like dopey dolled-eyed damsels in the television shows and movies. They were real people living in a post-war era, later known as the ‘Golden Era’, accommodating the challenges of the new age. But stereotypes don’t write itself. There must be a smudge of everyday truth in that square image. Maybe a paint bucket. I don’t know, I wasn’t alive yet at that time.

But there is one woman, on the Upper East side, in New York City, during 1958, who stomped on that cliché when she stepped one foot in inside the world of stand-up comedy. And yes, she living fictionally in Amy Sherman-Palladino’s head. About a month ago, I finished watching Amazon’s best new series, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and I cannot shut myself up thinking or talking about it. It was that brilliant!

I first heard about the show when it won the 2018 Golden Globe’s Best Television Show - Musical or Comedy and it’s lead who won the Best Actress category. Rachel Brosnahan played Miriam ‘Midge’ Maisel, a Jewish housewife and mother of 2, who discovers she has a natural aptness for comedic stage performances after a sudden separation from her husband. Brosnahan just breathed life to Midge oh so magically!

I’m not going to summarize what happens in this series because I deeply believe everyone should watch it. Well, not everyone. With the exception of underage little people and Antisemites. No, see, I think the latter should definitely check it out.

What I wanted to impress upon on is, why this show nestled itself into the urban jungle of my psyche and why it will probably stay there for more seasons to come. Shall we?

1. The Comedy Is Real. It’s a well-written, well-acted and over-all well-produced Chocolate Babka of a show, and it’s fucking hilarious! Embarrassingly, it’s my third time now (and counting) watching it and every time I discover some cheeky little dialogue or catchphrases that was even funnier this time around. And to my surprise, it comes from the supporting characters. That’s when you know the script is golden. Schmolden.

2. A Funny Woman In A Man’s Funny World. With all the good things happening in regards to the women’s movement and fight for equality (Women’s Marches, Impact10x10x10, Times Up, etc.) these past few months and years, this show couldn’t be more concurrent.

Midge is a 50’s women. Fictive Fact. The fashion sense, the plush lifestyle, the marital & maternal status, she lives as a privileged 50’s woman. Yes, she subscribes to the collective norm on how women’s social decorum should be. Until that is.

Midge started to notice and learn about the “absurdities” in society and the silliness of the expectations on her gender or, most of the time, lack thereof. Then, she speaks about it. And makes fun of it.

I think her character development is the highlight of the show.

3. The Jewish Culture. With Laughs. Obviously, a lot of the amusing statements and jokes that is particular to being Jewish, I wouldn’t get. But I got so invested that I research most of it and learned. And I laughed some more. Maybe except for that Adam and Eve bit, I did get first-hand information regarding that one. We, kind of, share the biblical once-upon-a-time reference.

4. The World Of Stand-Up. It wasn’t my first introduction to stand-up but I did enjoy its pick-behind-the-curtain narrative into that seemingly scuzzy yet profoundly enlightening and intelligible world. What does it take to be a comic and all that jazz. And I learned about Lenny Bruce!

And Bob Newhart, Mort Sahl, Joan Rivers and many more.

Yes, old school comedy might be my new thing now.

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

Could you just give me a list of sitcoms that its okay to talk about you than? Because I really thought that, as pretty much the only media you have ever expressed any enjoyment of watching, talking about one of the most popular ones out there would be at least a slightly more positive experience than talking with you about literally ANY fucking other piece of media. But since apparently the list of acceptable sitcoms for you to watch is ALSO pretty arbitrarily restricted by you (Great job on that diverse media watching by the way, really showing those people who like fantasy shows I guess). Could you just GIVE me a list of ones that would be slightly fun to talk about you with?

Okay, so definitely NOT Everybody Loves Raymond, I know that now. But what about Seinfeld? The Bookie? King of Queens? That 70s Show? The Jeffersons? The Brady Bunch? Sabrina The Teenage Witch? Bewitched? Madame’s Place? Maude? Newhart? The Addams Family? The Munsters? ANY of those sounding appealing to you at all???

Man, someone is feelin the winter lonelies, eh sitcom anon?

Uh, to answer this I think Seinfeld is alright, I like Everybody Hates Chris, My Wife and Kids isn’t very good but I’m nostalgic for it, Parks and Recreation, 2 Broke Girls, Mr. Belvedere, The Nanny, George Lopez but kind of ironically, and Fresh Prince. I’m sure there’s more but those are the non big bang theory ones I’ve seen and enjoyed off the top of my head! Hope this helps and thank you for your continued interest! 💖

[sgtsavoytruffle]

Love is nothing more than a combination of lust, necessity, and location. That’s it. Nobody is ‘meant’ for anybody. Any fool can procreate, and will. Probably a lot. It’s nothing more than a grand finale sex move that gives you a god complex, and children that you complain about more than anyone wants to hear. Yes, everyone knows what you did. Congratulations. Hit the spot. Thick as grits. Oh, she knows. Blah, blah, blah. Nobody wants to hear you bitch about it, now. Hope it was worth it. And unless you’re really rich or really poor, you probably won’t be able to afford it. So the majority of people really get fucked. Security can be a fascinating subject, but only if you’re being paid to listen to the whole ordeal. Pay the shrink; pay the lawyer: and go do it again. Picture Bob Newhart’s face any time you’re bitching to someone about your kids. What’s “wrong” with your kids? Well, “Adult,” thanks to your smart phone, you have become an actual avatar of yourself, and your 4 year old has one, too, because the other 4 year olds all have one... Gee, what could the problem possibly be? You can blame society if that’s comfortable for you, because any kind of real truth, in the cosmic sense, is beyond your comprehension and is going to be very uncomfortable for you. Even if you were shown this real cosmic truth, it’s just that: beyond your comprehension, and mine. You could see it for yourself and still not believe it. But “immaculate conception,” or, perfect sex, lol... sold! ‘Hell, is that what that means? Gotta get me some a that.’ You worship some kind of deity, in your mind. You are a brainwashed fool that can’t think for yourself, so the deity that each of you creates in your mind thinks for you. Santa Claus for adults. You know, bullshit. To paraphrase Morgan Freeman, “people want to play the lotto, eat cheeseburgers, and watch tv.” And that’s the GOOD GUY in Se7en. Our reality, right now, is the stuff of science fucking fiction, but it is now our reality. They stopped being “phones” a long time ago. You know exactly what they are, now. Wink, wink. Porn for men, shopping for women, and vice versa. And mindless games. Mindless being the key word. “Phone” is only one syllable and a lot easier and more comfortable to say than “handheld computer.” People are idiots. People sell their souls for nothing. People are weak. And people despise hearing the truth. Especially when it goes against what they have been brainwashed to believe since birth, or have even convinced themselves to believe over time, due to that comfortable and all-familiar group mentality. No, I don’t give a fuck about your webcam and toys and the free pass. Lol, just shut the fuck up, if you are a real person. Try the next sucker. I’m beyond any of that bullshit. I’m only the messenger. I know everything and nothing. You’re an errand boy.. sent by grocery clerks... to collect a bill.

sgtsavoytruffle

[analogskullerosis]

Jay fully snaps and explains to Mike that they've been doing a show for 10+ years. None of it has been real and he's never noticed OR the dementia made him forget. (The most recent HitB on Snow Falls had Jay say, "I don't even know what this show is anymore!" Mike's response was, "Show?")

Mike and Jay never existed. They were just Mr. Plinkett's imaginary friends but he doesn't actually care that they're there. One day, they started living lives of their own and just got really into talking about movies for some reason.

They end the show on July 11th, 2023, with the reveal that the show was just them documenting the death of Hollywood cinema. That day is also the day Boyhood came out in 2014, which would be an important day because on that day Half in the Bag will have existed for twelve years! Mike and Jay then make a joke that Half in the Bag took twelve years to make and they joke about it forever after that.

A mega corporation buys the Half in the Bag property from Mike and Jay. The final episode is Mike and Jay reviewing an episode the shittier, corporate version of Half in the Bag.

Mike says "Fuck movies!" one last time and just quits and leaves. Jay waits for five minutes for him to come back only to realize he's not coming back. Jay then has an existential crisis before just checking his phone, drinking a beer, and then leaving the Plinkett house for good.

Mike and Jay actually fix Plinkett's VCR and they all watch Newhart together and laugh and enjoy each other's company one last time.

Mike falls off his chair and turns to dust. Jay just explodes into blood and guts.

Mike and Jay officially quit Half in the Bag and say they're going to do work that's really important and beneficial to society... before auditioning for Best of the Worst.

Mr. Plinkett just shoots both of them in the head and they never make another one ever again.

mike's indignation about only four people caring that the last half in the bag might have been the very last one was so funny. it made me think like, what do yall think would be the funniest and/or best way they could end the show?

[imekasf]

5 Things (+5)

Five Things I Am Obsessed With (plus 5 honorable mentions) that I think you should check out.

1. Television: Fleabag (BBC/Amazon) The hype is real. Series one of this show is very good, but series two is actually perfect. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s writing, at times, literally took my breath away. There were moments that I out-loud sobbed for how brilliant her words were. And don’t even get me started on Hot Priest - sweet baby Jesus. (Incentive: Series two is the show’s last - making this very easy to binge in a weekend.)

Honorable mention: Schitt’s Creek (CBC/Netflix) You have to kind of push your way through the first season of this Canadian show (it’s not bad, per se, it’s just a bit rough compared to the subsequent four seasons) to really see what all the fuss is about. Daniel Levy is the heart and soul of this show - as writer, Executive Producer (with his on-screen and real-life dad, the legendary Eugene Levy) and star. Bonus: Catherine O’Hara is a goddamn gift, and her turn as family matriarch Moira Rose is perhaps her best role to date. Note: The upcoming sixth season will be the show’s last.

2. Music: Juice, Lizzo If you are not on the Lizzo train yet, I don’t even know what to say to you right now. This song is a mother f-ing JAM. While you’re here, please enjoy this clip of Lizzo playing the flute while twerking on a very confused-looking Jack Whitehall.

Honorable mention: Faraway Look, Yola This song is a throwback in the best way. Lush, melancholy, and absolutely stunning. Looking forward to more from Yola. What a gift.

3. Podcast: Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, Earwolf Conan O’Brien is going through a bit of a career shift, it seems, as his late night show is down to only 30 minutes, while the majority of his content really resides online. If you haven’t yet seen his travel segments (Conan Without Borders is on Netflix, but much of the content is also on YouTube), I cannot recommend them enough. (Haiti is a particular highlight.) He recently started a podcast that allows him the opportunity to interview his show guests in a longer format (under the premise that he needs to make new friends). You can start from the beginning, or you can dive into one of my favorite episodes so far: Bob Newhart. 

Honorable mention: Friendly Fire, Maximum Fun Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I love this podcast that is just three dudes talking about war movies. Do I love war movies? No, not really. But this podcast is wildly entertaining, often funny, sometimes touching, and even a little informative. I found it because two of the hosts have another podcast I listen to called The Greatest Generation (NOT a war podcast - a Star Trek podcast). If this all seems wildly out of character for me, well, perhaps it is, but I highly encourage you to check this one out, if you are looking for a podcast that is not about all the ways in which the (offscreen) world is on fire. Start with one where they discuss a film you have seen - or if you want a rec, check out episode 59: Heaven and Earth.

4. Book: Less, Andrew Sean Greer I finally read this one while on a recent trip overseas and found it to be the perfect travel book. Beautifully written, this book about a gay man coming to terms with his age and legacy while traveling around the world is fantastic summer reading. I wanted to take a highlighter to some of the wonderful passages. (Alas, I was on an airplane sans highlighter, so did not deface the book).

Honorable mention: When the Emperor Was Divine, Julie Otsuka This short but powerful novel offers a unique look into the Japanese Internment Camps during WWII. An unfortunately timely book.

5. Film: Always Be My Maybe (Netflix) It is hard to articulate how totally fucking exciting it is to have faces that look like mine in mainstream American media. And while it is true that there is still no prominent Japanese American actor making waves, the idea that we have gone in just a few years from pretty egregious whitewashing to multiple Asian-led films is something to celebrate. Is this film cheesy and predictable? Yes. But it wouldn’t be a RomCom if it wasn’t those things. Ali Wong is phenomenal, and I am so, so happy that she is getting the due that she deserves. BONUS, the exteriors were (mostly) filmed on location in my hometown, San Francisco (the exterior Chinatown scenes were clearly filmed in Vancouver).

Honorable mention: The Last Black Man in San Francisco (In theaters) Speaking of films made in my hometown. This is a poignant and absolutely breathtaking film about family, and belonging in a city that is being rapidly and heartbreakingly gentrified. It also portrays San Francisco in all its unvarnished glory. Unlike the fairy tale version you get in most movies set here, including the above-mentioned Always Be My Maybe - this is a more familiar San Francisco that still manages to be stunningly beautiful.

[dreaddymercury]

Day Twenty One - Relationship Transformation - Unworthiness Unearthed

You think you are tired of this shit.  Well, I am done, tired and buried behind my stupid vapid and ignorant emotions dealing with this relationship that shit the bed over a year and half ago.  

My good friend sent me the famous Bob Newhart video where this woman goes in Bob’s office to ask him for some life advice and every time she asks him a question he yells, STOP!  Meaning, whenever you are doing something that you really do not want to do or behaving in a way that does not serve you, just stop. Well.....

I tell my emotions to stop and they tell me BITCH PLEASE, I am about to fuck your shit up!!!!  LOL.  

Anywho, yesterday I was listening to Jen Sincero’s “You Are a Badass at Making Money”.  In this book, she gives exercises for the reader to get in touch with how they are sabotaging themselves when it comes to getting rich and making money.  She asks the reader to meditate for five minutes and see what negative beliefs come forward.  Then she asks that the reader to dig deeper and dialog with this part of the self.  

Well, when I embarked on this exercise, I realized that I feel I am unworthy of making money because I do not know how to live.  Are you playing the world’s smallest violin for me yet. It gets better, though...

Because I do not know how to have fun, (really literally, things that are fun to other people are not fun to me, such as drinking, dating, being social, shopping, going to amusement parks, etc...).  I have found anything involving strange people - other than learning non-math things - absolutely insufferable.  

I honestly do not know how to have fun. I don’t even know how to decorate properly.  I can dress my ass off, but lately it has been all yoga pants and Air Max’s. My apartments have always been filled with hand me down furniture and dishes, bare walls, unmatched pillow cases and sheets. Anything that requires work - other than working out -  I shun like the plague.  

I literally fear doing these things.  Because it means I have to take responsibility. Responsibility is exhausting.  It is no wonder that after all these years I had to go back home and live with my mother.  I am a lazy irresponsible and bitter bitch with two children who whole earthly existence depends on me getting my shit together. 

However, I would LOVE to learn how to like doing all those things.  But, because I do not know how, and convinced some part of me that I do not like those things, I feel totally unworthy of making money.  Well, Jen would tell me to go out and do all those things.  [She would also tell me to stop being a snarky judgmental bitch to myself]. 

The irony: I NEED MONEY TO DO ALL THESE THINGS...or so I believe. 

I am so tired of feeling this way.  This hamster wheel of unworthiness can lead to a slow painful death of unrequited love, misbehaving children, self-inflicted poverty and hardened arteries.  And the catch is:  I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATING ALL OF THIS.  And I am so fucking pissed at myself I had to scream in my pillow this morning.  How pathetic.  LOL.  

How the fuck do I get out of this and get motivated to further excavate my greatness?  I am a fucking awesome clairvoyant and energy healer who continues to help people get in alignment with how to live their best lives; while my ass sits on the sidelines vicariously living through the nutbags on Bravo. WTF.  Should I kill myself now???????????????

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #142 - The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines

Spoilers below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: I don’t think it’s ever been shown in theaters, so no.

Format: DVD

1) From the very beginning you get a sense that this film has embraced the more fun filled and adventurous aspects of its world and concept (where I felt the original lacked). The Utah setting, bright color palette, sweeping camera, it all just works to set up the tone for the film! I attribute this to the change in directors, as Jonathan Frakes (of Star Trek: The Next Generation fame) directed the second and third Librarian films to resounding success.

2) So the opening of this film features Flynn securing the Crystal Skull, which can show you the future. I kinda like that idea more than aliens...

3) Flynn getting distracted by a Sioux arrowhead in Utah (where there should not be a Sioux arrowhead) gets to how he cares just as much about history as he does saving the world (if not more so). To him an artifact of historical significance is just as important as an artifact of power and I love that.

4) I think the comedy/wit of the series is improved upon in this film, personally.

Flynn’s Aid [after he explains they were able to jump into a river and survive because the average depth of Utah rivers in March is such-and-such]: “But it’s April.”

Flynn: “April? Really? We should’ve been smashed like pancakes. I guess we got really really. [Beat.] April...”

5) Erick Avari appears in this film in a rare tough guy role.

Avari is a character actor most known for his roles in The Mummy, Stargate, and a brief appearance in the beginning of Independence Day. He usually plays intellectuals from what I’ve seen. Heads of museums and research facilities and such. So to see him as the brutish villainous General Samir is a surprising yet welcome change of pace from his standard work.

6) Excalibur is given even more personality in this film than before, coming off as a playful pet more than just a personified sword. I like that.

7) Somehow Bob Newhart as Judson is even funnier in this film than he was in the last one. I’m not sure how that’s possible, but it is. I think he’s got a bit more to work with maybe, a bit more of a secretive side is seen of him (not telling Flynn about his father, for example). Anything that allows Bob Newhart to show off his skills is something I’m happy with.

8)

Judson: “Sometimes you have to give up what you want for the greater good.”

That’s kind of a shitty thing to say to someone who can’t tell his family and friends about his job, who constantly risks his neck to save the world, and who does save the world on a regular basis. It seems a little unfounded. Flynn has never appeared to be a selfish guy. When he lost the arrowhead he lost it. He didn’t go back for it, he focused on the skull. He has his priorities straight. So that was...it sets up a conflict later in the film but is a little uncalled for.

9) Me too Flynn. Me too.

Flynn [after he falls into a surprise party]: “Oh my god I’ve died and gone to hell.”

10) The added conflict involving Flynn’s father (how he never really knew him, how he died when he was Flynn’s age) and the presence of Uncle Jerry creates some GREAT personal stakes for Flynn. I’m a big sucker for personal stakes, for family issues to come into a big adventure film. The first film didn’t have that and that’s fine, but I think this film improves GREATLY because the filmmakers decided to give Flynn more of an emotional arc throughout the movie. I love that.

11) Most of the time I’m Flynn. In this moment, I’m Judson.

Flynn [about King Solomon’s Mines]: ��That’s just a legend, isn’t it?”

Judson: “Hello!”

12) And I’m back to being Flynn.

Flynn: “That whole, ‘I’m off on a mission, I’m probably going to die feeling,’ never goes away, does it?”

(GIF originally posted by @superheroinejewel)

13) Flynn, although more socially adjusted in this film, is still a huge fucking nerd. I love that. I love his giddiness and his crappy Humphrey Bogart impressions/references when he finds himself in Casablanca. That is totally what I would do. Probably. If I had the self confidence to do so. Which I don’t. So I guess I wouldn’t do that. Um...

Moving on!

14) Can I just say: I love Emily Davenport.

For one thing, there’s no femme fatale “this woman is sexy and we want you to know that’s her defining trait” intro for Emily when Flynn meets her (not that I dislike Nicole because of that), and she is able to hold Flynn off on her own both intellectually and physically. She matches his brains, his wit, his advances with her own. She is his equal in so many ways it is amazing. Actress Gabrielle Anwar is able to play Emily’s rough edges with her heart and passion brilliantly, while also having some off the walls chemistry with Wyle (both of the romantic, comedic, and bickering sense). The pair really work well together and the film is stronger because she is in it.

15) The Honeymoon Safari scene is hysterical to me, if only because Flynn and Emily are so uncomfortable.

And then of course it is made worse because Deborah - Flynn’s botched date from the first film - shows up!

And we get an excellent cameo from director Jonathan Frakes!

It’s very funny and just a great moment.

16) I. Love. This. Humor.

Emily [upon discovering a man buried in the sand from the neck down]: “Are you alright?”

Jomo [frankly]: “I’ve been better.”

17) Did I say I love the humor?

Jomo [to Flynn, after they save his life]: “I am indebted to you. You will come with me to my village. There you shall be showered with food and women and treated like a king.”

Emily: “Well I saved you too -”

Flynn: “SHHH! Can’t you see the man is talking! I’m sorry, you were saying something about a king. How many women was it?”

Emily [later]: “‘How many women?’!”

Flynn: “You heard the man it’s his custom!”

18) Emily’s passion about the Queen of Shiva, potentially one of the most powerful women in history, helps develop her very well. She’s still a child at heart, in love with the same story she read then that she is now, and it drives her. It drives her career, her heart, her path in life, and how determined she is about it shows off who she is beautifully.

19)

Flynn: “I think I found the breasts of Shiva.”

Subtle.

20) The fact that Flynn ends up just running into his Uncle Jerry overseas would be sort of a stupid coincidence if the film didn’t set it up for a useful twist in the back half of the film, which I like that they did.

21) Awww, nine year old Flynn stories!

Uncle Jerry [about a book signing he took Flynn too]: “It was Stephen Hawking! A nine year old does not argue with Stephen Hawking!”

22) Jerry is sort of your typical Nice Guy™ turned bad guy. He was a “good guy” so he “deserved” to have Flynn’s mother and that life and King Solomon’s Mines, because - you know - he fought for his country and yada yada yada.

The twist of having him be the big bad of the movie is a nice one I think though. It increases the personal stakes Flynn has for the film and makes things all the harder as we get to the end. I mean because Jerry knows Flynn he is actually able to tempt him to use the Book of Solomon, to go against everything he is as a Librarian and use the artifact to bring back his dad. And he goes through with it! It is only because Emily can reach him and remind him who he is that Flynn stops! In my opinion, that’s some pretty damn good writing.

23) I like that Flynn doesn’t get the girl in this film. That he and Emily have a very Casablanca goodbye where she choses her career over the guy she just met. She’s obviously kinda sad about it, but everything we know about her character means this decision makes sense for her. I’m so glad they decided to go with that instead of the typical, “guy gets the girl,” ending.

(GIF originally posted by @mrsdecaestecker)

24) Ah, this ending.

Judson [when Flynn asks about the near death vision he had with Judson in it]: “...magically appearing in a vision on a beach flying a kite is not one of [the incredible things I can do].”

Flynn: “I didn’t say anything about flying kites.”

I personally think The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines is a great improvement on its predecessor. The additional personal stakes for Flynn’s character makes the story all the more interesting, the acting is as good as it was before (and at times better), and the addition of Emily Davenport makes it all the better! I really enjoy this film. It’s a whole lot of fun and if you liked the first Librarian movie or just adventure films in general this is right up your alley.

[mtlmrk]

This encapsulates some of my issues with people using the Chris Pratt as Mario news as a way to call out voice actors being put out of a job (but then going and using like people like Charles Martinet, Rob Paulsen and Maurice Lamarche as examples who are all still millionaires.)

But I still take issues… like Robin Williams as Genie gets way too much a misinterpretation . Bob Newhart me Eva Gabor we’re big delals when they were in the rescuers in the 70s and Kurt Russell, Sandy Duncan and Corey Feldman were in the Fox and the hound. Prior to Aladdin Robin Williams was in Ferngully and he was in animated film afterwards like Robots and Happy Feet. What made Genie work is that just fucking rolled with it. I remember when I started noticing more actors doing voice work it was like Bebe Neuqirth in the Aladdin animated series. A bunch of Star Trek people in Gargoyles and the cameo laden Disney’s Hercules animated series.

Also you have cross overs like Mark Hammil , Hank Azaria, Keith David and Phil Lamar.And then some of the GOATs of voice acting like Mel Blanc and June Foray both got their start in Radio when it was a medium.

And THEN there was like the opposite of what happened with the Mario movie when Square Enix showed their pretty high pedigree voice actor cast for their avengers game and the actors got fucking ridiculed because ‘who re these guys’. Like I think sometimes it is really is HD both ways.

I also think it’s the combination of the space Chris Pratt takes in pop culture versus the space Mario takes up in pop culture has something to do with it. Like if you swap him with any other of the male leads like if he was donkey Kong and Seth Rogen we Mario there wouldn’t be as much reaction.

But the other issue with it is just how predictable itseems… like aside from Chris Pratt doing goofy every man, if they have a Yoshi in the game there is limits certainly going to be a Jurassic world scene where he channels Owen., Luigi is going to do a manic trek out. Bowser is going to sing, tod is going to freak out in a manic falsetto voice, Black Nerd Comedy on YouTube basically previewed how Seth Rogen’s lines sound most likely.

You could also probably take any celeb heavy animated movie and it would change little, like Sing or Shrek or Lego Batman movie, whichever one would be seen as a serviceable cast for the endeavour.

...I'm seeing a lot of people saying that only Voice Actors should do Voice Acting and that is absolutely missing the point entirely.

Like aside from the fact that Voice Acting is acting, it's not about putting on voices, it's about performance; that sort of typecasting does nothing to help voice actors. Most voice actors do also take on live-action roles too.

Voice acting has unique challenges that a lot of film actors underestimate, but the same is true of the differences between stage acting and film acting. The challenges can be overcome, and many actors easily switch between the different styles.

The problem with the casting we're seeing with Mario is twofold.

The first is that the original/current voice actors have been pushed put the roles they've spent years in, that they're iconic in, in favour of new actors in this high-profile adaptation. And while the games will go back to Charles Martinet and Jennifer Hale (yes, Commander Shepard is Princess Peach), this takes the opportunity away from them of playing their characters on a much bigger stage.

The second is more general to theatrical animation: it's stunt casting, plain and simple. They're not casting who's best for the role, they're casting actors specifically to make headlines and draw attention.

Now, you can do stunt casting well, I don't think anyone begrudges Robin Williams for Aladdin, but the problem is when you have your entire cast be stunt casting, the end product can end up lesser for it and it pushes out smaller-name actors and voice actors who could have done the role just as well.