#what the FUCCCCKKKKKK | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

captainillogical · 5 years

Text

Devil’s Ballroom ch.2

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with wife @firstofficertightpants

The place actually happened to be like, right on the edge of Little Homeworld. Outside had full glass windows, tall, that reached the ceiling. Inside the lighting was dim, and a bit smokey. You figured it looked alright enough to head in, and gave the bouncer your ID. He nodded and you walked in. It smelt of cigars, and of cinnamon, and it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. A pretty woman in a low-cut red dress was playing the piano on the stage, and it was some contemporary jazz piece. The low murmur of people talking filled the air in between the swells of music, and the place actually seemed busy with people and even gems enjoying themselves. You liked the vibe. It was.. comfortable. At ease. You looked over at the bar, rather than any of the tables, and saw a spot near the end. Perfect. Right by the bathroom. You headed over and plopped down on the stool. There were three empty at the end, so you took the one in the middle, which had the best view of the stage from back here.

While waiting for the bartender to come back down this side, you took the chance to look at the people around you. A couple familiar faces.. small town you know? And some new ones. New gems too. You can see Mr. Fryman sitting at a table with Kofi and Nanefua, and they look like they’re playing poker. You try not to snicker since Kofi looks absolutely blasted, and Mr. Fryman is cursing up a storm because Nanefua is clearly winning. You see her wink at Mr. Fryman. You suspect a rigged game.

Your phone chimes a couple times. You pull it out of your bag, and check to see who’s bothering you. Ah. The group chat.

Alex: ughhh you guys my gmas killing me

Alex: no seriously mexico fucking blows rn

Alex: i cant step outside without feeling like my balls are melting off my body

Alex: and my brother won’t stop listening to the book of mormon soundtrack

Alex: im going insane

Your friends are so melodramatic. You type out a couple of replies.

Y/N: You should be used to mexican summers by now, you go every year.

Y/N: And for the record, your brother is valid. Book of Mormon slaps.

Alex: what the fuck youre supposed to be on my side u ass

Alex: i thought our special thing was wicked. OUR SPECIAL THING, Y/N

Y/N: I’m allowed to like multiple things. Including musicals.

Alex: never. fuck you. also what are you even doing rn come play minecraft with me

Y/N: Yeah as much as I’d like to, I can’t.

“Y/N! So you finally came to see what this place is all about! What can I get ya?” you hear a familiar voice ask. Turning around to face the voice, you see Bismuth wearing her usual overalls and a rather nice looking bow tie.

“Hey Bis, how’s it going? I like what you’ve done with the place. It’s nice. And uh, I’ll just take a hard cider for now.” You smile at her and set your phone down for a minute.

“Thank you! After we finished Little Homeworld, I had to find something else to focus on in my down time.” She explains while grabbing your drink from the fridge under her side of the bar, and opens it. “So tell me,” She sits the drink in front of you and leans on the counter. “What brings you out here today?”

You take a rather long sip from your drink before meeting the large gems eyes. On the stage, a tall, beardy man replaces the woman that just finished her piece. He immediately starts this jaunty, irish tune. He’s singing loudly, and it’s not bad. A couple of people are clapping to the tune.

“I just really needed to get out.” You replied, taking another sip from your drink. “I was kinda hoping I’d meet someone new, maybe get another friend to hang out with, since my friends wanted to ditch me this summer.” As you’re saying this, more people join the clapping. It’s getting a bit rowdy. “Or maybe at least get drunk enough to forget how lonely I feel.” You add, shrugging.

“Well, I can supply the drinks, and at least a bit of company.” Bismuth winks, and turns to the patron 6 seats up waving her over.

You check your phone again, and there’s more from Alex. AND Harper? She must still have phone service wherever she’s at. Alex: what are u fuckin doin that so important that u cant play minecraft with ur best friend

Harper: yeah, Y/N. the heck. Also alex, get lost, she’s MY best friend bitch

Alex: u had ur chances but u left us so we’re a duo now. u can go

Harper: excuse me!? I WILL end you.

Y/N: Oh my god, chill. I’m just out right now, so I can’t okay?

Y/N: And nice of you to join us, Harper.

Harper: fuck you I miss you okay. And I miss constant wifi :(

Alex: OUT!? What do you mean OUT. its night. u play games with ME during this time

Alex: for real what the fuck are you doing

Harper: yeah, you don’t go out without us. Wtf are you doing?

Y/N: I’m at a bar!! Alex: WHAT

Alex: dont tell me its the one place that just opened

Alex: Y/N do NOT betray me you TOLD ME you were gonna go with me!!

Y/N: I was. But I was also bored and you’re both gone, soooo.

Alex: wow

Alex: i cant believe youve done this to me

Harper: hmmm. ;)

Harper: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ;)

Y/N: What.

Harper: you tryin to find girls again?

Harper: like that one time you went to empire city just to peruse the mall?

Alex: LMAOOOOO

Y/N: No.

Alex: LMAOOOO Y/N GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND A GF LOLL

Y/N: I’m not trying to find a girlfriend you fucks. Christ.

Y/N: Also Alex, you’re one to talk. You can’t KEEP a girlfriend.

Alex: ur just mad i have a passionate and intimate relationship w/ my hand

Y/N: And it will probably stay that way.

Y/N: Besides, so far, no one cute here. So it’s a bust.

Harper: a bust. Lmfao u just outed yourself :)

Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

You put your phone down before seeing whatever Alex attempts to reply back with. It sounds like the current boisterous song is coming to a close, and really, most of the people here are clapping along with this guy. It’s fun. And despite the playful ribbing from your shit-talking friends, you’re starting to have a nice time. You finish your drink, and nod over to Bismuth who catches your eye and nods back. You look over onto the stage, the man having cleared the piano, and see Lapis wiping down the piano and seat. Guess he spilled his drink while playing. Lapis, unlike Bismuth, actually dressed up a bit for the job. Her hair was pulled in a cute, small bun, and she was wearing what looks like a tailored tux with no jacket. The vest fit her quite well. She seemed.. happy. Good for her.

No one had taken up the stage again yet, but the place was still lively with chatter. You see someone out of the corner of your eye move towards the stage, but Bismuth comes over again so you tear your gaze away.

“Another cider? Or do you want something else this time, Y/N? She asks, cleaning a glass with a rag, and moves on to the next one.

“Ehh, yeah, give me another cider.” You say as you pull out your phone again. Bismuth sets down the drink in front of you.

Harper: what a goddamn disaster. she got that from me i think

Alex: no, youre both disasters separately

Y/N: Fuck you guys. Give me a break.

You hear the piano start to play again, and someone pulling the mic forward. You look up to see pink hair.. And someone kind of familiar. She’s wearing black slacks, a white collared shirt, and suspenders. The shirt is partially open, and you see part of a pink gem showing through on her chest. It looks like she’s got mascara running down her face.

And then.. she starts to sing.

It’s lovely. It’s slow and a bit sad, but she seems to be enjoying herself. She’s definitely done this before. Quite a few of the people around quiet down some, so you can hear her pretty clearly. You drink some, and text your friends.

Y/N: Guys, I lied. There’s a cute gem here who can sing.

Alex: holy fuk

Alex: what

Y/N: She looks kind of familiar though? I can’t quite place it though.

Harper: dude theres like near 100 gems now in little homeworld lol

Harper: you’ve probs seen most in passing? :P

Alex: are you serious Y/N? cant flirt with human women so u turn to aliens? lmfao

Y/N: Ohhhhh my god. Die.

The gem on stage sings the chorus with gusto - man she’s really getting into this. You’re kind of taken a bit with her performance. It just pulls you. But also.. She really seems familiar now and it’s bothering you.

Y/N: No I’m serious she seems really familiar and not in that In Passing kind of way.

Harper: what does she look like?

Alex: yeah a description would be nice

Harper: TAKE A PIC

Alex: holy shit YES

Y/N: I can’t take a pic. She’s too far away, it’ll be blurry.

Alex: literally just zoom in lord almighty

Y/N: Okay. Hold on a sec.

You turn on your camera app, and face the stage. Looks like the gem is actually finishing up her song. Perfect, you’ll snap a pic once she stands up. She finishes, and most of the people are clapping for her. You zoom in, and it’s grainy, but decent enough to make out most of her. You snap the pic.

The flash was on.

A couple people turn to look at you, and you try turning away quickly, horrified, and see the gem looking in your direction before walking off into the crowd of people. You cannot imagine a worse scenario.

Y/N: FUCK FUCCCCKKKKKK.

Y/N: (image sent)

Y/N: I GOT YOUR FUCKING PIC BUT THE FLASH IS ON.

Y/N: I’M PRETTY SURE SHE SAW THAT IT WAS ME THAT TOOK THE PIC.

With shaking hands, you take another sip of your drink and wait for a reply. Why is life like this.

Harper: uh.

Harper: ummm.

Alex: wait

Alex: one fucking second

Y/N: WHY ARE NONE OF YOU CARING ABOUT MY PLIGHT.

Y/N: I’M TRYING NOT TO COMBUST ON THE SPOT HERE.

Alex: shut up for one second

Alex: harper isnt that

Harper: uhh. yeah i think so.

Y/N: WHAT!? WHO IS IT. WHY DOES THAT MATTER AT THIS POINT.

Alex: lmao i cant believe i have to tell u this

Alex: bitch do u remember that shit that happened last summer

Alex: where half the town almost died from that gem shit

Alex: that’s her Alex: that’s the bitch who almost killed like, the entire planet

Harper: you know that night your dad almost died??

As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

#spinel #spinel x reader #spinel su #steven universe #spinel self insert #my fic #devils ballroom

116 notes · View notes

weareladyknight · 5 years

Text

Lady Knight's Drow Arcane Archer Is Taking Some Paladin Levels!

Thought you guys would be interested and excited to hear this! It got long so everything is under the cut. Also, playing in 5e so following those rules.

So we’re playing in the Forgotten Realms. My character, Aryana, isn’t aimless but she’s not super emotionally invested in the story rn. She has A Quest and she doesn’t want Acererak (very powerful undead wizard) to destroy Faerun for the very Peter Quill reason that she’s one of the assholes that lives there. And so does her entire Drow House and her whole thing is that she will do anything for the benefit of her House to the detriment of herself and people not in her House (she is def Lawful Evil). But you know, she could go off on her own and do those things.

So Aryana walks into the Yawning Portal Tavern with the party while investigating the disappearance of the uncle of the party’s Druid (the uncle is a former PC btw). This human woman glares at Aryana. And she’s like “what? I’ve never seen you in my life” and the woman’s companion is like “oh, she just hates you because you’re a drow.” And Ayrana finds bigotry hilarious (it’s just been a few assholes weaker than her being mean so she can laugh at it). She starts antagonizing the human woman like “come on, let’s fight, you got beef, let’s take this outside, come on, I wanna fight you, let’s do this.” And this makes the human real mad. She stands up and her form changes...

It’s Ayrana’s commanding officer, her mentor and she’s pointing an automatic crossbow at Ayrana’s heart and yelling “YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!!! YOU DESTROYED OUR HOUSE!!! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE RIGHT NOW RIGHT HERE!!!”

And Aryana is just like “What the fucccckkkkkk?!?” She doesn’t have gaps in her memory and she hasn’t been back home for ten years or so. But this is her CO, her captain, so she’s open to the fact that she might have. Fight breaks out. The captain’s companion teleports out. Ayrana runs outside because she def does not want to be on Durnan the Bartender’s bad side and this really can be settled outdoors. One of the spellcasters knocks the captain out (bad saving throw on her part).

The Druid wants to take her to the party base for further interrogation because the captain is a Drow and there was drow poison found in her uncle’s house. Ayrana wants to take her captain to the guards because while she is evil, she is lawful and she wants this done properly. But practically speaking, she wants her captain under watch so she can do other shit.

A five minute argument ensues because out-of-character I was having connection issues and didn’t know about the Druid’s Uncle (we were playing over Discord) and in-character Aryana is so worked up she forgot why they were at the Yawning Portal in the first place. She’s not really... Emotionally invested in her party members and their problems. But that may change as things go on. She eventually decides that going along with what the other party member wants is best.

They go back to their base, which is in a cliffside cave outside of Waterdeep. And fucking Acererak is there and he wants to talk. But he wants to see how this will go down first and even though the party is pretty eager to know why he’s here, they don’t want to fight him atm so they’re all just like “whatever.”

They tie up Aryana’s captain, cast zone of truth (she fails the saving throw, Aryana chooses to pass). Aryana kneels in front of her captain and says “I don’t know what I did, but please tell me. If I did do what you say, I will fling myself off this cliff, I swear.”

And so much shit is revealed.

1. The captain claims that “Aryana” came back home, asked for some help with her quest and she got a squad of 400 soldiers. As they’re making their march “Aryana” leads them into an ambush. Seventy-five of Ayrana’s comrades die including her best friend. The captain loses an eye in the fight. The only reason they’re not all slaughtered is that their Drow Mother is able to intervene.

2. Aryana’s like “I do not remember any of that. Also, we live in Faerun, that was probably a doppelganger, or I was mind controlled or any other thing.” Her captain is not hearing it though and they keep arguing and the druid is really eager to get back to the matter of her uncle.

Tired of this, Acererak is like “omg, fine, it was me. I disguised myself as Aryana and tricked the soldiers into the ambush.” (The lowest INT character in the party guessed this btw BUT the player is in med school and a real smart cookie). Aryana stands up, gets in the lich’s face and is like “I will destroy your phylactery, and then I will kill you. I will not rest until you are gone from this universe.” He’s not impressed.

3. Anyways, the druid is still pretty keyed up about her uncle and Aryana’s captain admits that it was her and her partner (the guy who peaced out at the Yawning Portal) who kidnapped the Druid’s uncle for the Red Wizards ( some more seriously bad dudes working for Acererack) and he’s probably in Thay (the city the Red Wizard’s control) right now. I s2g if our princess is in another motherfucking castle...

4. Acererack “threatens” to leave and the party is like “whatever, we don’t actually want to talk to you or for you to be here.” But before he teleports out, Aryana puts down her weapons and unties her captain and starts beating the shit out of her screaming, “You thought it was me!!! You fucking thought it was me!!! How could you!! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” and Acererack’s like “WORLDSTAR!!!”

5. When Aryana is done (she stops before her captain is killed or even permanently injured). Acerack finally says what he wants. He wants to trade his phylactery (the thing he keeps his soul in) for The Black Opel Crown, an artifact that’s key in a ritual to destroy the world. And the party for so many reasons says “no way in hell, fuck off!” And before they can fight him and take the probably-fake phylactery just in case (the guy we’re talking to is definitely a clone not the real deal and the party is level 14 so they can probably take him) he teleports out, counterspells the warlock’s counterspell so he’s gone. Bummer.

I don’t think that’s the order it went down in but i’m trying to make it easy to follow here so.

So the druid and another PC who also has a missing relative that was in the past campaign’s party are fucking chomping at the bit to go to Thay. But Ayrana’s like “no, we are not going in unprepared this time. We’ve done that too many times and our luck is running out. We need to go... To The Library.”

More miscommunication ensues.

Once that clears up, the party hits up our most powerful available contact, Syndra Silvane. She gives us a contract for us to sign basically giving us the authority to do whatever it takes to bring down Acererack. Being trigger happy, vengeance fueled adventurers who really like living in Faerun, we sign it. Don’t worry, there are lines we probably won’t cross. Like torture. Doesn’t work anyways. And if we do commit war crimes, I trust the DM to have it bite us in the ass.

The warlock tells us everything he knows about Thay (he used to live there but since he was only in the poor/merchant districts and he biffs his History check... we don’t learn much). THEN we go to the library to learn everything we can about Thay and the Red Wizards. We realize that we need to fucking go, so Silvane hooks us up with one of her guys that we know and trust to stay behind and do research and send reports to us.

Then the DM looks at the clock and is just like “this is going to go on forever, we’re gonna stop here and you guys can think about your next move and start planning properly next week.” I am very sad but very excited.

So yeah, before she heads out to Thay, Aryana is going to go down into a cave (preferably with running water for the Sheer Purpose of Drama) and swear an oath to Lolth that she will take down Acererack and avenge her House and get the two PCs with kidnapped relatives to witness her promise and bind her to it. Then when the time comes, paladin levels.

Ngl I was a little hesitant to actually multiclass bc Aryana’s an archer and divine smite is melee-only. But she has sickles (stated as short swords) and the idea of the last thing Acererack sees before he dies is Aryana’s hate filled eyes while she’s smiting the shit out of him with the Divine Wrath of Lolth is too good to pass up.

So, so much credit to the Dungeon Master @blackbeanswithdice for making a great session. I am thrilled about what’s coming next!

#Dungeons and Dragons #paladin #forgotten realms #acererak #dnd #session recap

42 notes · View notes