#what makes U happy... not how other ppl want/expect u to be....

[seventh-district]

several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold

[lovscb97]

bang chan recs (18+)

key: !!! = personal favourite, s = smut, f = fluff, a = angst

add. notes: hai :3 i know i said i would make a skz recs list but the minute i scrolled thru my likes n started saving from chan onwards, i realised i had Too many recommended fics for him (this list is like 40 fics/drabbles long....) so i decided to just make member separate posts instead!!! i tried not to have repeats of authors to give u guys a broader scope to choose from n also sorry in advance that i yapped so much abt them it's just like . these r my all time fav authors so it's expected. anyways i hope u guys love these works as much as i do bcs they r from some of my absolute fav creators n plz give them lots of love n always make sure to appreciate these ppl <3

. . .

hopelessly devoted to you — @changbunnies (!!!, s, a?)

this was literally a 11/10 fic like i am not even joking rn. i luv greaser chan n even tho he messed up, the way he makes it up to mc is so so soooo sweet. the fact that he's so gone n pussydrunk while eating her out, the sweetness in how he holds her n fucks her is all too mindnumbing n i hope u continue writing bcs u r amazing at it!! i will always come back 2 this when i need a pick me up fr

2. bad idea — @hyunsvngs (!!!, s)

JUNOOOOO my lovely baby.... i adore u n all ur work always but this fic. This Fic. it changed the trajectory of my life. like not even kidding but i was a different person when i started reading this n when i finished it i was Changed. life is worth living now, the grass is greener n the birds always sing 2 me which i firmly believe is bcs of u n this beautiful yummy fic. i fucking LOVE stepdad chan sm like there's smth so gross n nasty abt fucking ur mom's bf n even tho mc is a menace, i still loved it. never stop doing what u do!!!

3. 1095 days — @luvyeni (s)

EX INMATE CHAN RAHHHHH!! i have akshewally been following ur work for so long n i LOVE!! the way u write :3 thank u for always churning out ur work so fast n being so good at what u do. im obv a sucker for daddy kink considering i eat it up every time n it's so fucking good i love how chan cares for mc n the way he gives it to her once he's back. mark my words i will EAT this man up n this fic whenever i stumble across it

4. milk and honey — @straykeedz (s, f, a?)

user straykeedz u have to stop... ur work too addicting n perfect.. ur depiction of chan too real n crazy (/pos)... they're gonna get u... but seriously i love bffs2lovers so bad n the way u always characterise chan n make him call mc so many cute pet names melts my heart :( i've also been following U for a long time n even tho everything u write is so so soooo good, this has to be one of my faves alongside ur inexperienced chan fic. i hope u don't pressure urself too much to update n jus do what u have to do :D

5. my wife — @chrizzztopherbang (s, f)

ngl i Think this is my first fic from u cus i followed u bcs of it n that's a given honestly cus newly turned husband chan?? eating his wife out metres away from his friends n family on the other side of the door n fucking her within an inch of her life right after they're pronounced husband n wife?? i love it i loved their bickering over who's a pervert n i just love the idea of mc finally calling the love of her life hers forever. i hope they r always happy alongside u

6. sweet nothing — @frenchkisstheabyss (!!!, s, f, a)

this fic actually changed me as a person too not even kidding. i EAT UP exes to lovers n the portrayal of it was so good here bcs there's so much unspoken tension between the two n then chan begging mc to not leave again n her promising she won't bcs all she wants to do is be his at last?? AWOOGAAAAA i need him so bad it's jinja michin (i am so cringe sorry..) ANYWAYS!! i hope u know tattoo artist + ex bangchan is a crazy combo n that the makeup sex was HOT HOT HOT!!! plz keep writing i adore u <3

7. pick you up — @moonchild9350 (!!!, s)

see idk if this is tmi but sex where ure being picked up n fucked is downright nasty in the best possible way n i fear i need to get railed like that by chan so u writing abt is literally u making my fantasies come true. this fic was a delicious mix of cute w chan telling mc he only works out so he can pick her up (based off of his bbl texts obv) n hot w him Actually fucking her within an inch of her life. i love all ur work tee bee eich so keep doing what ur doing!!!

8. spring has sprung — @cbini (!!!, f, s)

miss ems where do i even begin with u.. (u probably Do Not Know me but i know u smirk emoji. soz that was weird erm but ya i am the binnie anon who said u deserve changbin LOLZ) this fic was the perfect mix of cuteness w raw passionate fucking i love the idea of chan getting hard bcs ur dressed so preciously in a pretty dress i think it's rooted somewhere in his slight corruption kink which comes out def when u r all dolled up for him. anyways u never miss n i hope u know that <3

9. walking in on rooomate!chan / pt. 2 — @kacciidubs (!!!, s, f)

going 2 be very honest here i do not even remember what happened in part 1 bcs part 2 of this roommate chan fic actually blew my mind away like Seriously user kacciidubs u r insane!!! all ur work never misses n i am always so eager whenever u post bcs i've been following u n loving everything u put out for so long. ofc ur chan work is my favourite as u can tell but this fic... this fic was crazy the switch between daddy n sir oh my god what if i cream my pants rn. plz never stop writing <3

10. last nerve / pt. 2 — @cb97percent (!!!, s)

user cb97percent let me just preface this by saying whatever u write is INSANE. like i already knew u were a great writer but this fic? changed me as a person not even joking rn. the way mc n chan banter n how chan's an asshole who is pissed off how he can't get it up anymore unless he fucks mc is so funny n how the raw passion between them results in the best sex Ever. n ofc the ending w minho took me out n Yea i just . i have no words plz never stop writing to u as well

11. hush — @petrichor-han (s)

sucker for exhibitionism n sucker for chan so what better way to comemorate this occasion than by reading abt it? this entire scenario was so hot like honestly i can totally imagine chan's bitchass doing this bcs he's so cheeky in nature he would lose himself from the thrill of almost getting caught. u r amazing as always thank u for churning out so much content for kinktober may god or whoever u believe in bless u with eternal inspiration

12. daddy!chan helping you shave — @hyunjins-orange-slice-too (!!!, s, f)

i sent u an ask already talking abt how much i love u n everything u write but THIS. this made me weak in the knees bcs i have imagined this very scenario so many times if im being brutally honest. there's smth so sweet n domestic abt the act of helping ur partner shave n with daddy chan in the mix? kill me now plz. the way he asks if he can play w mc once he's done n how he sternly instructs her to be safe like omgkjdfjhjdfgjhhjg need him in ways that give the pits of hell a run for its money w how hot n nasty im abt to be fr

13. one last time — @baby-yongbok (!!!, s, a?)

like i said, i am a sucker for the exes to lovers pipeline alongside husband chan so while this isn't Either of those things entirely it still scratches the itch in my brain very very well. the way mc n chan exchange snarky remarks n how chan only says he's satisfied once they're done fucking OHHHH MYYYYY GODDDD... need this man carnally like i would dump him just so he can fuck me the way he fucked mc in this fr (that is a lie we r locked in 4 life). u r brilliant as always i always look forward to ur work so next time u r questioning if this is worth it just know lovscb97 on tumblr has ur back fr

14. chan ask drabble #1 — @skzms (s)

maymay.. my eternal luvr... the genius behind smrsmf minsung... ofc u were bound to eat this up n end up on this list. idgaf if it's just an ask answer or drabble bcs the way u write is so . so Elegant. i love how u always use ur words to describe the emotion lingering between ppl in love n the way u do it here w chan n mc, the way he reassures her afterwards n how he promises her he'll give her everything later while fucking his fingers into her ohhhh mannnn.. i can just imagine him in his suit thank u for bringing the vision to life fr

15. you're right, baby — @chlorinecake (s, f)

soft dom chan who is ur fiancé fucking u n claiming u bcs he's a lil pouty that u forgot ur ring?? n then going so far to say he'll cum in u to make sure everyone knows who u belong to?? RAHHHHHH HE NEEDS ME!!! this was written so deliciously i loved the way mc n chan cared for each other n also the ending was so cute LOLZ hope they r happy in every universe n that their wedding goes great fr u r an awesome writer user chlorinecake

16. silence — @valkyriexo (s, a)

make up sex make up sex make up sex!!! i love it so good even tho it hurts so bad when mc realises chan forgot to show up :( but the fact that he makes it up to her by begging her to not leave him n making her cum as many times on his tongue as possible for her to forgive him?? INSANITY!! the longing in their eyes n words n actions from how much they've missed e/o when he finally touches mc n oh man.. u ate this up

17. corruption — @goquokka00 (s)

STEPBRO CHAN RAHHHHH i am a sucker for him (in more ways than one iygwim eheheh.. soz) i loved the sinister blackmail u added into the story n how he fucked mc bcs of her bad grades by making up some shit excuse abt learning how to please someone like y/n u can't be this dense girl!!! (i'd do it too if he asked me #Tbh) ANYWAYS. idk how this didn't have more notes bcs it was hot asfk i hope u keep writing more stuff to come :3

18. chef's kiss — @hyuniepies (s, f)

the tenderness of mc n chan's love mixed w the nasty dirty talk ohhhh hyuniepies u r a GENIUS!! this is exactly how i imagine domestic life w chan would be like; him coming back home to u cooking a dinner n then fucking u absolutely silly on the countertop bcs he just can't wait after getting a look at ur figure n bcs he's missed u so much. i too would be obsessed w bangchan if (read: when) he becomes my husband teehee

19. chan ask drabble #2 — @miupow (!!!, s)

USER MIUPOW UR FUCKING BRAIN!! HOW DO U CARRY SUCH A HUGE BRAIN IN UR HEAD!!! DOES UR BACK NOT HURT FROM HOLDING UP THE DELICIOUS IDEAS OF BCHAN SIZE KINK!!! like i told u yst i love ur writing n i love U so bad. u always eat w every request or idea u come up with n i absolutely adore that for u i hope u truly never stop writing bcs u have a serious gift n i hope ppl keep telling u that constantly bcs i sure as hell will <3

20. pretty mouth of yours — @jeongin-lvr (s, f)

need to give chan head like . Yesterday. but OHHHH MEINNNN GOTTTT fiancé channie w mc sucking him off so pretty u know exactly what im a sucker for u dont u user jeongin-lvr? ur writing is tooooooo good i swear i have read so much of ur work n granted this is one of my fave chan works from u icl i love the jeongin ones even more but i'll add those to my innie recs list later :3 ANYWAYS!! plz never stop writing u r awesomesauce (cringe.) n i love u hope u r having a great day today

21. daddy issues — @hwan-g (!!!, s, a)

HELLO THIS FUCKING FICCCCC... it is so good so delicious so fucking beautifully written that it brought tears to my eyes no joke. i still remember the first time i stumbled across it n like wow.. i think i dmed u on my side reading account too to express how much i liked it bcs i rly Did like it truly was a piece of art n sometimes i can't believe ppl like u just write stuff like this for free?? u should be getting paid good money bcs all ur work ALWAYS eats <3

22. closing the distance / pt. 2 — @thefantasyden (s, f)

ik long distance relationships r tough n it's awful when u can't spend time w each other physically or touch either but hear me out . it would Not suck w chan bcs he'd do everything for u the way he does everything for mc in this fic. from how he shows up n is too nervy to kiss her to them finally touching each other for the first time n then she moves back to him?? ohhhh man i love love n i love U for making this ur work always eats n trust that i'll always come back to this fic when i need to rmb how much i love chan

23. riding chan's thigh/knees — @faeryacha (!!!, s, f)

i love daddy chan so bad im sorry im not even gonna hide it anymore n i love the way he was written here too, from the way he asks if mc wants to play to the way he has her fuck herself on him to get herself off like i'm not even into little space like that but the minute he refers to himself as daddy n speaks to me all soft n protective im on my knees on the floor ready to suck him off like my life depends on it. u ate so bad w this plz continue doing more amazing work in the future!!!

24. steamy desires — @notsoangels (s)

shower sex w chan mngnghfhghgh.. need him so bad id let him fuck me anywhere as he pleases but in the shower?? w the hot water cascading over us w just us in our little world like omgomgomg NEED. i love the simplicity in ur writing too n how it paints a picture in my mind bcs i can vividly imagine all of this happening like him making u squirt on his cock n then rinsing u off so u can spend time wrapped up with each other on the bed like plz. One chance plz.

25. the fuckboy next door — @seospicybin (!!!, s, a)

miss seospicybin.. how do u always do it? how do u always come out w the most mindbreaking jawdropping amazing insane array of fics without even breaking a sweat like hello? this series is so fucking good from the smut to the angst that hurts so good. i love the development of the plot n that chan tries So hard to be true to mc so he can be w her n the way she tells him to do it for himself like :( they deserve each other sm i am very much looking forward to part 4!!!

26. pussydrunk chan — @aeliuss (s, f)

mngngngngjghgh i love pussydrunk chan so bad n i love the idea of him being so infatuated w mc that he just Had to drag her away n eat her out. i also love that he's there to support her in the end n how turned on he gets from her just being herself like that is a real man!!! n the way it's so reflective of how chan is irl too? i feel like this is how exactly how he'd behave— needy but so so soo in love with u too

27. kitty — @bandgie (!!!, s, f)

no joke this fic made my pussy throb. i need him 2 do this to him so bad bcs i need Him so bad. the way u wrote the subspace drop n how immersed mc was in her role n the way chan guides her thru everything n then the aftermath of it like hngnngnfgddjghjgh... i always have loved ur writing but this particular piece rly got to me along w ur kinktober series i hope u continue to do writing bcs u seriously so so SO good at it fr!!

28. angel eyes — @temptaetions (!!!, s, a)

this fic. this fucking FIC. bro this is actual evidence of the fact that literary geniuses exist bcs the way u wrote so beautifully not just the actual smut but the whole storyline?? u r a godsend fr like u should be getting paid to put out work of this degree. not only r u a PHENOMENAL writer but i hope u never stop writing bcs this was actually so so lovely n amazing to read i wish i could revisit the first time i read this T_T

29. just (fucking) friends? — @snowyquokka (s)

HELLOOOO i love possessive fwb chan almost as much as i love ur writing!! the way he's so annoyed at how she said they're just friends so he takes out his anger on her but then at the same time asks her what her color is to make sure she's still okay WOWZAAAA.. need him Bad. n in the end when they both agree they don't wanna be just friends like chan.. i don't want 2 be just friends either.. come 2 me plz... anyways very yummy work fr

30. american whiskey — @straywrds (!!!, s, a)

this fic... how do i even begin w this fic... the way u write is actually so . so otherwordly yk? u rly pour all ur passion into ur writing n the way u describe everything like every emotion every detail every feeling it's so raw n real that it touches my heart. i can Feel what each of the characters go thru n the SMUT... the smut is so so delicious ofc. i've read ur other work n u r such a good writer plz keep going with what u do i will always support u fr

31. free use w/ soft dom chris — @hwanghyunjinenthusiast (s, f)

the dirty talk in this.. hngnngkgjjdgjjh. i need free use w daddy!chan just as bad as i need to reread this fic ten times until it's ingrained in my brain n any telepath w the ability to read minds out there is disgusted by how many times i think abt it (idk what this analogy was i am sorry). the way he eats mc out n the way he fucks her omgfkjdgjhjhgjh NEED HIM RAHHHHH u did so well w this

32. play tight / pt. 4  — @roseykat (s, a)

squirting w chan squirting w chan SQUIRTING!! W CHAN!!! the way he makes mc do it once n then immediately goes "yea i need to feel that on my dick" n fucks her within an inch of her life like ohmygodjkdjhsfghj i did eat up the angst too but the way u wrote them fuckinig was so nasty n delicious I ENJOYED IT SM!! this entire series is such a good read even tho it's not chan centered idk if there r more parts to it but if there r plz link me to them!!

33. dream you — @charmercharm3r (s, f)

ok i know we r discussing smut n all n trust that i will get to that but THIS!! this was so cute n precious ohemgee the way he loves mc n takes care of her n banters w her at the start so lovingly is so so precious to me i want him so bad :( the smut was also very delicious w chan switching to hard dom mode n making mc suck him off before ravishing her like oh my god PLZZZZ FUCK ME PLZPLZPLZ u did so well on this plz continue writing more for me at the least <3

34. brat-taming w/ chan — @blurboki (s)

this damn drabble was so.. hngngjfjghjhdgjh. i want 2 be a brat to chan so bad n act out just so he'll snap n put me into my place which is exactly what u wrote n i LOVED IT!!! it's so short n simple (not a bad thing at all btw) yet it's so powerful too? i love the characterisation of chan cus i firmly believe this is how he'd act in bed w a fussy bratty s/o like wow. Just wow. i love u and ur delicious mind i hope u r having a great day just for this :3

35. tell me all about it.. — @chnsbm (s, f)

hngnfjhdfsjghgjh the idea of chan making u forget all about ur stress n playing with u to help u sleep is so gfjfjjjffjhgjhjh HOT!!! the way he lovingly reassures mc like u don't need to worry abt it now just let me take care of u n how he's such a fuckin TEASE!! w the way he's touching her is so so hot u ate w this idea n i will forever die on the hill that this is really smth chan would do— tease u n make u talk while he's doing ungodly things to u just to see u stutter over ur words

36. be that guy — @daizymax (!!!, s, a)

i have said it once i have said it twice n i will say it one more time bcs i don't care how many times i need to reiterate it needs to be said: EXES TO LOVERS W CHAN IS TOP TIER!!! the smut in this was so delicious but the LONGING chan had for mc.. the way he felt the twinge in his chest for letting her go oh man.. i'd take him back if he so even looked at me but maybe im just crazy. BUT ANYWAYS!! this is possibly one of the hottest chan smuts there ever is so thank U for this delicious gift fr

37. more than just friends — @kwanisms (!!!, s, f)

werewolf chan my luvr... my big strong baby who will knock me up w his knot n fuck me until the sun rises RAHHHHHHHH!!! this was so so SOOOOO good n yummy like from the way he pinned mc to the wall to the way he ordered her around n how his self restraint snapped the moment she called him daddy like why's that so Me behaviour HELPPPP anyways user kwanisms u fucking ATE w this i hope ur pillow is cold every night u go to sleep <3

38. connected — @j-0ne25 (s, f, a)

let me just start this by saying I FUCKING LOVE U USER J-0NE25!!! ur interactive stories esp megaverse r so fucking good how r u so bigbrained my dumbass could never like actually JSDHJFJHGJH. anyways i rmb reading this very vividly n oh boy.. "baby patience, or do you need me to teach you a lesson?" Brother my panties r drenched n off dont even start w me rn. anyways this was so so delicious plz never stop writing i beg u

39. chan ask drabble #3 — @hyungszn (!!!, s, f)

saved the best for last but CLOVER.. (u dk me but i am ur biggest fan hai :3) "your mouth is saying no but your body is telling me a different story, mrs. bang." GRRRHJDJSDFJHKJSFKJSFKJGJ... I NEED HIM SOO FUCKING BAD!!! the way they banter even while having nasty sex n just love each other so bad n hello my breeding kink went feral w this. when mc asked him to not eat his cum out of her pussy n he was like "and why is that?" cus he wanted to hear her say it GRAHHHHH I WILL EAT HIM!!! on a side note, u r so so soooo amazing i have been reading ur work for so long i think since american pie n i can safely say u r one of the best skzblr writers i have ever seen along w so many other ppl like plz keep up the good work bcs i will ALWAYS support u for it !!!

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add notes: thank u very much to all these amazing writers fr. if ur work wasn't featured here now do not fret!! i probably (most definitely knowing my dumbass) just missed it cus i didn't scroll Very far down in my likes (there's like 2k+....) so trust that u will most likely end up on the next recs list!! i love u all very much regardless if u r here or not n as always a very big thank u once more for all ur amazing hard work, u r all doing so well n i hope u guys know that <3

[merakiui]

we know and love our breeding obsessed tweels .. but there’s an obvious candidate whom I haven’t seen given much attention.. and it’s our favourite apple <3

back in harveston, it’s been mentioned how there isn’t much youngins around .. apart from epel and his cousin .. but in terms of ppl his age??? 0 … so it’d be easy for his family to talk him into stuffing you full and getting you pregnant when you come visit one day… you don’t know that epel secretly introduced you to his family as his wife .. and that the analytical eyes they give you and your body was bcs they wanted to see just how many kids you could handle birthing naturally at a time… truly terrifying how they put this much thought into the time you need to rest before being full with his baby again .. bcs they don’t do hospitals but instead the women in the family use their knowledge (midwivery) to advise you </3

aa just the thought of epel and his family peer pressuring you into giving them kids and continuing the family line has you feeling all guilty </3 like it doesn’t matter what u want bcs you’d be doing it for the betterment of the village! how they convince u that eventually, when u become a mother, you’d find happiness that comes w it .. (silly reader … your choice and wants never even mattered in the first place! bcs if you showed resistance they’d just drug u and put u to sleep w epel’s unique magic and get u pregnant anyways </3)

truullyyy terrifying! beware of dear grandma’s sad puppy dog eyes knowing u refuse to give her great-grandkids! (lies … she knows what she’d doing </3)

also! can I be epel felmier anon? 🍎💜

OMG THE SOMNO POTENTIAL WITH EPEL'S UM........ how could I have missed it,,, it's literally called Sleep Kiss. T_T uuuwaaaa Epel wanting to practice his UM and you agree to let him practice it on you because surely it won't have any negative impacts, right? But he puts you to sleep and somno ensues...... or he puts you to sleep and the other first years are around as well. >_< you're like a practice pussy for them......

If anyone's going to gaslight and manipulate you into having children, it's all of Harveston. ;;;;; and most of them do it unintentionally. They just think it's so darling Epel has a best friend (read: wifey) like you who is the sweetest thing they've ever met. You and Epel make such a cute couple (of hopefully expecting parents). All of Harveston dotes on you, showering you with affection every time you visit. You're practically part of the village by now. Whenever you come to visit, whether for a holiday or a break, Marja always welcomes you with open arms, as does the rest of Epel's family. But it's Marja who is especially pleased to see you. She checks you over, asks if you've been eating well at NRC, asks if Epel's been looking out for and taking care of you, and so on.

I feel like the entire village would throw such a huge celebration when you finally become pregnant. They make such an event out of it; it startles you at first, but Epel explains this is just because there are so few children around and everyone, especially the elders, are so very excited to finally see the village grow and become more lively with young folks! You'll have everyone's full support before, during, and after your pregnancy! They are just so fond of you and are always encouraging you to eat lots (of foods that improve fertility, but you don't need to know that...).

[pensbridge]

This is going to be my only post I ever do THIS. It needs to be said (if even only for me). Be warned. (& I'm totally being a little funny & unserious with my words, but I also mean it). but really I just need to be so silly for a moment..

I've been in some fandoms and every fandom goes through this, but...There's no fandom on earth that quite literally walked in with no changes to the picture of the Community meme like the Bridgerton fandom. yayyy! we made history again We are the exact same picture, because it wasn't that bad! I can nearly guarantee you, people noticed the quality change, but it literally wasn't bad like you say! Some of us truly stumbled in here like wtf, and still haven't gotten the answer. Stumbling into Part 1..was stressful, but Part 2 was actual insanity!

like, I honestly don't think some people watched it all the way (i saw something about ppl finishing in 2 hours)! If they even went back, who knows?! But the takes are just literal fables!

I actually think the blind trolls coming back from the dead & thin air for part 1 have deluded some of you into thinking that part 1 was bad (it wasn't; it was good), and as a result made you think that part 2 was worse than it is. I totally respect your differing opinion, but you're wrong!

There are 2 real "issues" with this season and the other stuff is artificial grass.

#1 The lack of happy couple moments that get replaced by boring side plots (part 1 was actually enjoyable to me, but this one I actually almost fell asleep watching Benedict before I was awoken by his bi awakening). But to be frank, it's always been an ensemble, and I find it funny that people forget: People bitched about polin season 2; they bitched about Penelope since season 1.

The fact that they don't get a full episode 8 of being happy in love was criminal (but i will admit my wrong expectation, because this is Bridgerton (what else is there to expect, lol). However they are cute! Naysayers, deny it all you want, but they are literally perfect! They are literally a cute engaged couple, the moms including Lady Danbury cannot help but squeal over them, and the only thing holding them back is that this conflict is seemingly dragged on, BUT it doesn't even go on long! (perhaps it felt that way because there were only 4 in this batch of eps). And I get you can be upset, but stop the bullshit because "WE WERE ROBBED." You are lyyyyinnnnnggggg.

He finds out in 6! Anthony was with her sister for 6 eps ... Simon....avoided her til she had to make the move at the end. If we're including Queen Charlotte, George got the most cohesive story, but we'll chalk that priviledge up to the fact that he got only 6 eps; and also don't lie, the recycle-rinse-repeat episode was boring(!!!!) minus the last scene & the visitation of his trauma (u can disagree w/this, but I was bored the first time watching and didn't ask for the copy & paste same episode).

#2 is the pacing (really the last 1⅓-ish episodes is the problem)- because I wish they made up by the end of 7, which is really more of the same of what I said about them being happier in the final one. However, (which brings me to my point) if they'd shifted him finding out earlier... (again they only had 1 episode prior to do this in (because there was no way it was happening in part 1 even if the 2 part split never existed), ...it could have fixed most likely all of this: if everything was moved up an episode (+ they switched Cressida's reveal + Colin finding out), they'd be fighting in 7 but united for Cressida's lie, then they'd make up by the end, and they wouldn't still be struggling with differences between them in the first part of episode 8 at all, thus there would be the happy couple moments from my point #1.

And I newly realized how this aspect of polin's season arc compares to the others. The conflicts of the other 2 seasons have been more heavily external obstacles preventing them from really getting together, while visiting some internal demons later after the drama; but this season is pretty much just them with internal conflict between them (if not for all of part 1 then for the entirety of part 2! (i personally think that the Debling stuff is less love-trianglry than what they've done in the past & fr he is in 2 eps really and not even fully courting her for majority of it)! Enemies to lovers does have internal conflict between them in the beginning, but it's not something actually between them that's "preventing" them from riding into the sunset (other than fake fighting like they hate each lol i say w/love 4 the characters & E2L). But since Colin and Pen's conflict is actually her (Whistledown) it maybe feels like they are more at odds than what is truly going on under the surface. Because they are established to love each other already unlike the other couples, who you are seeing the journey and getting to the end. While Part 2, you are seeing the unraveling of an established couple even though the love is there and the only important reason you need to get how they can work it out. We won on complexity and realness harder than the people w/bad takes can fathom, they have to make stuff up!

The other (kind of related for some) stuff:

The sex scenes: I get it! They lied (lol)! I hope we get them! But we know why it's lacking; they're deleted scenes; they exist! But the carriage scene - HOT. The mirror - HOT. The 30 second scene (lol) - HOT. But again: K*nthony got 2 spicy scenes their season! S*phne got a montage but it kind of sucked looking back (i'm not seriously hating but you know that it was too much, literally even then i think ppl knew) but plz don't start the ship discourse again & PLZ DO BE LOUD ABOUT THESE SCENES THO, I NEED THEM (lol)

But the love confession.....sssssssss. There were so many!!! *that book one is not good, i'm sorry (i'm being lighthearted here; you can disagree w/it but I do kind of hatttte it!)

"They didn't include..." don't know if you know but the writers make the story. Their story is not the book. You knew what you jumped into. (you can be sad but..) [i am not touching the conversation on Fran. But if we're really being real that side shouldn't wanna be grouped w/the side of The Departeds who are forever the head of online harrassers....by - now causing official pages to disable their comments (you don't have to tell me it wasn't all of you. I know 😔). it's actually kind of funny how I did not know like 95% of the actual discourse those first couple days (and there's a lot of discourse to see). but, anyway my main concern this whole post are my top 2 mcs. [ps the Departeds I meant traveling; i'm not that mean]

The misinterpretation of Colin: if you hate him, then go away! Thnx 4 the record-breaking views!

The baby? Cheers to 2 years in the future w/baby No Name! *lol* I'm not gonna say you shouldn't be upset about the name. For me, it was fine, because I knew they'd be back for s4. Also, preparation guys, I doubt we will even see the child that much if Daphne is any indication.

This show has never been comparable to your favorite Oscar-worthy film (literally obviously!), but the show is not terrible like some very widely popular of what's out there (and i'm not even talking about bad shows that everyone knows are bad). There is some depth to the characters and some ingrained-trauma to living in a male-dominated society with no autonomy, and traumas to the men as well. Re: the choices and drama every season. It's... a drama show! People need to go re-read the fantasy books if they want happy, lack of conflict all the time (and men yanking their wives by the wrists)... Go read fanfic if you don't like the show and a certain couple. Bridgerton is escapism and in some crazy overtaking of loud voices in the fandom, this fandom has been one of the least escap-ist fandoms ever. Because people will be like "*suspending my disbelief*" every 2 secs, but ...babe that's not doing what you just said. There's embellished "Based on a True Story" documentary fans that do this better than you tbh (i'm being a lil funny here, but honestly)

And I simply need to say this, regardless that it won't change, I need the acknowledgment jokes and the mental cleanse. if u don't want to read × The fandom...bro. I'm not even upset, I actually laughed at some of this - like, there's 3 types of people:

#1 offended people responding to op posts, because they don't like what they said; lol, the hypocrisy! The amount of people in my comments in this past month alone if I said something positive...abt the show, abt the characters...anything (new posts, old post) is more hatred than ever ever. The good polin fans are sensitive, but any and every bad typists in the comments are so easily offended...over positivity. Why.are.you.bitter?

"I'm bitter cause.." I literally don't care

#2 people reblogging things they hate to say what they hate. thnx for the notes??? bro, some comments on other ppl's gifs (rants on what they didn't like, crying abt a character/why they hate a character, and sometimes it has nothing to do with the scene gifed).

#3 "I'm allowed to be upset." why are you fighting for this? You can! Go in peace. Some people had no issues with what you say, but you are fighting this because you are determined to make people agree with your negativity no less. If you cared about the courtesy (i know that you don't) you'd let some ppl bask in what they weren't disappointed in & were excited to end the journey with (*and i expect nothing from the haters, but some of this was coming from inside the house lol). The reason you were wrong for this is because YOU WERE WRONG! There are ppl that liked it. You have no control; I get it. dw i'm sure you'll be fine.

Anyway, if anyone even read this far, you rock 4 that. If you got it, we're healing from this dumpster fire together; and if this even made 1 person laugh or feel better, it's worth it. I'm actually good now but it was rough that first stepping into the chaos and I had so many thoughts at first, so i wrote a lot from the initial shock those moments, [and now i'm in the laughing about this bullshit phase] so if u get it u get it (and can maybe have a chuckle) >>> This is literally just your neighborly (if ur nice here) joke!post *we're laughing thru the pain* / w/e to you (if you're not because i need to & this stuff isn't new & that one goes for all divisions of the fandom not just the main contented one of this post)

[wispscribbles]

hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha

i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart

ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!

but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship

these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy

but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33

((sorry for rambling))

Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD

Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.

I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.

It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!

I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.

But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.

Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.

Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3

[sweaterface]

IM LITERALLY SO SORRY I HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS… some are asked by my friends and they’re using me as a pipeline to u… ❤️

TONI HAS LORE?? what is he.. i mean i expected it but what exactly IS his lore??

noticing tonis style change from when he was in his band to his job, what happened?

my friend thought toni was trans, w no spoilers… is he implied to the topic of gender questioning

what is the disaster based on?? i personally thought it was 9/11 but i didnt want to take drastic measures

has lawrence been depressed before the disaster

is there a reason to why toni is so godamn happy

is lawrence a teenage girl internally

does lawrence have any other disorders other than cptsd and depression

GIVE ME MORE DOG MOM AND CHILD STUF… THEY ARE SO ADORABLE I ❤️ UR CHARACTERS..

would they listen to the talk tuah podcast/j

what are their aesthetics

AGAIN SO SORRY I PUT SO MANY QUESTIONS IM JUST SO CURIOYS IM SORRY… ty for your patience ❤️

hi! and no worries, i love answering any questions that im able to

1. more shall come to light eventuallyyyyyy but all i can rlly say is that hes my favorite out of him n lawrence

2. same answer as b4 ^ but in college he was in a band before getting hired to work in entertainment . theres more of an internal character change in between him in college and him now, i stated on twt but ill say here that the next big ewlat thing im working on rn will focus on toni a little bit more than lawrence, since my film had to be more lawrence centric

3. when it comes to my charas or stories i never give like solid yes or no answers when it comes to anyone being trans , unless something is explicitly stated . i am a subtext enjoyer… but i believe a characters gender is always up to interpretation if this makes sense . it always makes me happy when trans ppl tell me “ur character looks like me!” so if u see any of my characters as trans , go right ahead!!! :+)♥️ 🏳️‍⚧️

4. the disaster is based off of a lot of things, but yea, my parents telling me about 9/11 and how im gonna have to tell my kids about things like covid influenced my film a lot

5. my boy was born depressed

6. yes :)

7. absolutely heather mason was actually a big inspiration for him

8. yeaaaaa but i havent worked out any specifics just yet, but cptsd and depression are the biggies

9. OH i never thought of making more mom and dog stuff! they are very cute so maybe theyll pop up again sometime soon!

10. NO

11. hmm. this is a tough one ill come back to it eventually bc its kinda broad

OFC i hope my answers were of substance

[simpinberry]

Hii xx

could you do bella ramsey hcs where reader is jealous of bella because shes with other girls but then they end up together in the end 🫶

heyyyy, i’m backk. i tried to make this as healthy as possible while also adding a bit of spice to it. i hope i interpreted this correctly <3 should i also write jealous!bella hcs? hehe lmkk

established relationship, jealous!reader, kisses and cuddling

bella is fine as hell (we all agree, can i get an amen) so naturally lots of people want them. bella is very much in the public eye and has got promotional duties as an actor. she has to go to lots of events like fashion shows, premiers, award shows and interviews. they’re gonna meet lots of ppl and you’re usually extremely proud and happy for them! u pride yourself on not being the jealous type.

usually bella doesn’t text when she’s working/at events, mostly because she gets too overwhelmed and would rather be focused and present where they are. so you decided to go on twitter and check up on how it was going. unfortunately smth about a video of bella with a bunch of girls at a fashion show didn’t sit right with you. they were surrounding her and getting too close. bella didn’t do anything wrong and was being super polite as usual but the girls were all extremely pretty. they were all so elegant and looked so incredibly cool. it was both dumb and understandable at the same time. you trusted bella for gods sake. you shrugged the thought away and tried to go on about your day.

you ended up calling your best friend to rant about the whole situation because you couldn’t get it out of your head, “listen it’s not like i wanna go to these events and it’s fine that she talks to other girls i just ugh, i’m so jealous and i hate it”. your best friend told you exactly what you expected her to, “bitch just talk to them istg, you’re overthinking it too much”. ofc you spent another 30 mins ranting about it but you knew you were gonna do the healthy thing at the end of the day.

“honeeeyy i’m homeee” you hear bellas mocking american accent before you even see her. she finds you curled up on the couch binge watching willow. with a quick kiss to your forehead she heads upstairs to take a shower after such a long day. god, u have to talk to them about this.

by the time bella gets out of the shower you’re already settled into bed, comfy as hell tbh. crawling her way into bed, they lay next to you, facing you. “babe, you awake?” “MHMMM” you had to make your move now. “how was the fashion show today?” bella being the cutie she is, tells you everything. talks about her favorite looks, a fit she took a picture of because they thought it would look good on you and how she ran into her past costars. as much as you love hearing about her day you’re overthinking and trying to find the perfect moment to talk to her abt ur jealously and all the girls and how pretty they are and how you’re scared and worried and god so so jealous and how you feel- “can i confess smth?” bellas face drops and she’s full of concern. “DID U EAT MY LAST MUFFIN CUZ ISTG” oh, that’s what they’re worried about. “no, not this time….. i’m, i mean i was, kinda super jealous today. cuz like you were with all these pretty girls at the show and they were surrounding you and god- ik how fine you are and how lucky i am but i just felt,,,, like rlly jealous”

iwl bella was a bit shocked by your sudden outburst. you’re rarely ever jealous so this was a first, maybe a second. “mhmm i understand, i didn’t think you were the jealous type but i get it” she takes your face into her hands, you snuggle into her touch. “i know it’s hard dating someone in the public eye, i’ve actually embarrassingly asked pedro for advice on this before. thank you for telling me though, my love. a little bit of jealousy is normal. in myyyy expert opinion it means you need some reassurance and lottts, lottts and lottssss of kisses”

this idiot. they always know how to turn smth like this into a good thing. “yeah sure i mean those girls were nice and everything but at the end of the day i only want you and i’m just as lucky to have you darling” they bring you into a sudden kiss. melting into the kiss, you tangle your legs together to be as close as possible. It was a tense, reassuring and urgent. she poured a lot into that kiss and you gladly accepted it all.

i’d like to think she’d make an extra little effort in the future to make you feel more secure. whether that’s with physical affection, words, time or gifts. bella is yours and they wanna make sure you always remember that.

[chlorinecake]

I just saw what that anon said and I can really really relate I feel like there's no way I can like them cuz I'm black I feel like. Weird for having a crush on Ni-ki cuz I'm black and even though I know there's no chance anyway cause he probably doesn't date fans obviously lol It makes me ashamed especially because people are always saying "what if / he probably doesn't like black girls/people" and it makes me feel like I'm less beautiful because I'm black and even if he did date fans I mean I'm like SOOOO ugly like atrocious but it makes me feel like even if I was a little bit more pretty he wouldn't like me or would dismiss me cause I'm black or like I wouldn't be good enough or he'd be disgusted or disappointed or weirded out because I'm black and a fan /has a crush on him and besides him it makes me feel like enhypen wouldn't talk to me or treat me the same cuz I'm not Asian or white like I couldn't be a fan or wouldn't be as important or pretty or cool or even just they wouldnt want me as a fan or like me or even look my way cause im black its gotten so bad that people dont evn have to say that anymore (they do but they dont have too) for me to think that way. Like I know we all saw that pretty engene video with that girl with the glasses and i couldn't help but make it about race like thinking would they look at me like that or would I be ugly abd weird cause I'm black ? Or if she was black would they still think she's pretty? Or would they even put the camera on her if she was black ? Anyway I'm rambling but being black is something I struggle with even without people saying the group I like or the guy I have a crush on (Niki obviously) wouldn't like me or would hate me for being black . Or they would be uncomfortable or disgusted with me because I'm black so it's just hard to even see myself meeting them or *even to imagine myself in reader fanfics even if the reader's supposed to be black because I've convinced myself that the only way I'd be pretty or attractive or they'd be friends withe or date me in Ni-kis case is if I was white or Asian* (*just talking about from a fanfic standpoint for this one* but yeah) but yeah it sucks and

Okay, I REFUSE to sit here and let you talk down on yourself like that. I don’t care how true you may think it is, YOU ARE NOT UGLY, Mirah ~ You’re beautiful, from head to toe, melanated skin, curly hair and all. Black women are beautiful, it’s disgusting to me how society has brought some of us to a point where we feel insecure, undesirable, or unworthy of affection from others. My words might not do much to encourage you, because finding confidence (esp as a black girl) takes time. But I really urge you to understand that you can’t expect other ppl to accept you when you don’t even accept yourself. Wish I could give you the BIGGEST hug rn, bc this actually hurts to read :(

Another point, I’ve seen plenty videos of Enhypen (along with other kpop groups) connecting with colored fans in the same way they do with their supporters of a fairer complexion, but I won’t share any of those videos here bc I don’t want you to seek “proof” as a way for you to feel better abt yourself.

On the flip side, let’s say that some ppl in the kpop industry DO have a prejudice (which I’m sure some do): your life and happiness isn’t dependent on their validation.

Let’s not even get started on how a lot of Ni-Ki’s favorite artists are black (Riki Jackson ? Bro would’ve never called himself that if he was racist)… but anyway, colored people like any other group of individuals can b really amazing once they get past their insecurities and embrace the way God made them. Jst know that u can always come to be if your struggling with something or just want to vent <3

[momo-shut-the-fuck-up]

So i ve done the main story in infinity nikki and im gonna stop playin now, before i squeeze the game dry of content and have nothing (new) to do on release.

Time for a lil review/thoughts post

I m not gonna review every single mechanic in the game, simply things that stood out to me or that i wanna talk about. I also wont add more images, i kinda want ppl to see the world for themselves... i ll share more when the game comes out tho.

There s a lot of text under this. Tldr, i like the game i think it's a solid, enjoyable experience with a good gameplay loop, the story isn't for me, and i'll keep playin of course. And u should try it too if ur device wont blow itself up tryin to run it.

Dress up

The bread and butter of Nikki games... it's good as usual. Game doesn't shy away from long skirts or coat tails or complicated ballgowns just cuz nikki can run and jump and dash now and i'm very happy bout that. There's some clipping issues once in a while, but it's nothing major and the clothes we do have in the game are lovely. There s an evolution system for some of the sets, which makes em a diff color.... usually they can evolve once, but i saw Three extra evolutions for one of the UR sets and that scares me. Bcs to evolve them u have to craft the suit again. So u have to pull 4 copies of a suit to max it out..

Combat

Game's definitely succeeding in its quest for being cozy. There's no real stakes, combat isn't difficult in the slightest but i do welcome it- super simple but it's pretty fun regardless. The boss fights were surprisingly creative and fun for what they are, it's just unfortunate that you have to do them more than once or twice (crafting mats)- but they do change what the boss does so it's different depending on what mat u are farming for... and u can claim double or triple or however much stamina u got-le of the mat after u complete it once. So that s rly nice.

Exploration

I actually think it's really really good. Again this isn't a difficult or complicated game, not yet i guess... but with the major goal being "get new clothes" and "take pretty pictures maybe", the open world feels actively engaging to participate in. There's collectibles everywhere, little challenges you can do that are diverse but quick, styling battles, collecting everythin from animals fur to bugs to fish, and allll of this brings u closer to that never ending goal of woo more clothes.

However even if a challenge doesnt give you a blueprint, it's still just. Really Nice to exist in this world. It's very whimsical, as expected of Lilith, and the world has a combination of realism and cartoon artstyle that is just soso appealing to me. It's genuinely how i would've imagined miraland to look in 3d. Shame it's not the same miraland we know..

Story

Hmm... silly is one word i could use for it. Cute also. The story isn't doin anythin bad per se, and i did start skippin dialogue near the end w the pieceys because i want to keep at least Some part of the story for the game's release... but i get the gist of it, and it s just not my thing.

It feels like a story made for children, and it definitely would get a G rating. Easy and simple to follow, there's moments of tension or sadness sure but with the antagonist bein a literal babie lookin cutey fairy with a grown man's voice, or the creatures that i'm interacting with are a bunch of. Fuckin weird lookin big eyed balls of fabric that look closer to plushies than somethin Alive... it's all so silly and dramatic sometimes i can t help but cringe.

Part of it is a me problem, if u just open ur heart and free urself from the cringe the story is fine. It's just a little too kiddy for me and i so desperately hope it won't stay like this forever. My prayers might be answered though, there's a whole war beyond the borders and we have refugees around... shit's lookin bad for Umbrosa.

Other things i noticed that i liked:

The effect on nikki's skin when it's raining, she actually has water dripping down her face... its so cool

Momo capes are actually kinda neat ngl. Especially cuz the fucker follows u around everywhere, at least i can bedazzle him

Npc models look really good im a fan. They do suffer from "everyone is very beautiful" syndrome, which makes some of the npc villains look/sound ridiculous, but they have kid-teen-adult-elderly versions of models (i never see teen models in these games! Its cool!) And some body variation. The grandmas look so lovely i cry

The dark skin tone is really dark, and it looks quite nice and natural.

The lighting engine in this game is just rly good in general. God bless UE5

The edges of the map where there s forest, which u obv cant go thru, the forest is made to be darker, thicker.... i m a huge fan of this idk y. It's not just *invisible wall in front of an open field* nopee cant go there lets explore that area later tee hee. And it looks good to boot.

Camera function is p robust, has more options for changin brightness/saturation/contrast etc which i feel Shining Nikki lacks.

Some of the creature designs are so good man i looove themm <3.... the pieces are awful tho. Ok creature design is a hit and miss sometimes but the stray hatty? Peak. All the weirdy fashionable animals? Peak.

Bein able to quick switch thru ur saved sets while in the overworld is real neat

Oke that was it. Bye

[celestie0]

🪷 girl fuck these people I'm really sorry you're getting so many messages bitching about no smut in ch10. Like who even cares? Does a story or chapter have no value if the characters aren't going at it like rabbits and fucking and sucking on each other?

At this point if you're so disappointed about no hanky panky just go read one of those pornhwas where the characters start screwing at the drop of a hat.

I would've loved that chapter with smut or without smut idgaf it doesn't even matter to me (and the same is for most of your readers too, I'm sure of it). We've all stuck around with your work for so long, and we have faith in your direction as well as your decisions regarding the pace of the plot. It's never that serious, especially not to the stage that bozos feel the need to weep in a writer's asks and swamp them with negative messages. Go jack off or play dj with your hello kitty and go to sleep like the rest of us.

Again, no matter what you do with your work it's entirely your choice. Ofc we as readers can have our own takes and how or why we interact with the work can vary, but it shouldn't reach this stage. I've seen this same story of bullying and pestering authors on tumblr too many times with other authors whose work I enjoy, and many have left their blogs because the harassment made them lose interest in writing and sharing their pieces. It's fucking heartbreaking. Pornhub dot com is right there for y'all to be doing entirely too much in the asks of these writers who are already overwhelmed and write and share all this FOR FREE. If you have so many qualms about it pick up that bic and get to writing bitch!

I'm sorry babe take care! We love you🫂

AHHH LILYPAD ANON I APPRECIATE U SM THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME 😭😭 you’re always so kind to me i sobs

yeahh sigh :( i was just a bit upset that ppl were already finding fault w a chapter i haven’t even released yet just bc it doesn’t have smut in it 😭😭 like i obviously know by now that i can’t make everyone happy, but it’s not right to subtly pressure me into a certain direction for my story (ik this is a normal thing authors/writers have to deal with, i am just a weakling unfortunately 💀💀 my therapist wld agree)

i know it’s not most of my readers though :”) everyone is so sweet n kind n patient, i just don’t understand the some few that think that just bc they tell me they’re disappointed there’s no smut, that i’m somehow gonna go back to my 80pg dissertation of a chapter n make it 100pgs just to add some for them 😅…like no. what it DOES make me feel is icky n sad

frankly it’s really uncomfortable to make an author feel bad that there’s no explicit sexual content in a story 😅 your horny brainrot is showing. like, i AM def planning to write smut in kickoff, there will be multiple smut scenes to come. but even if i suddenly chose not to include them anymore, that’s my right to do so.

and yes, if they want smut, they can write it themselves. why do i need to be the one to write it for you? i don’t owe anyone anything.

i totally agree w you. honestly, i feel bad sometimes setting these boundaries, but you’re SO RIGHT in that SO many authors leave their platforms bc of hateful asks/pressuring comments etc, i’ve seen it time n time again. bc it’s true that it DOES get to people, especially when creating art is already a very stressful thing. i don’t have to passively tolerate rude strangers on the internet just because i’m trying to protect n pursue my passion

thanks sm for trusting my direction :”) and YES absolutely!! i love it when my readers disagree w character actions or emotions, bc characters have flaws n i’m intentional about those flaws, so it’s exciting to see opinions my readers have, even if they’re in disagreement, because it’s interactive w my work. not that i expect anyone to interact ever. i understand that i post on my own accord, so readers can choose whether to interact on their accord as well.

but something about pressuring me into writing explicit sexual content into a story that i’d like to think is a lot more than just smut, is really disheartening.

- ellie 🐸

[quendiviner]

what's the universe of cynosure like?? the involved corporations etc, what do they do / what are they famous for, what's the level of technology like, how would you describe the universe's aesthetics? 👀

OUGHHH THANK U FOR ASKING HEHE <3

Cynosure happens in late 2200's and obviously the world has. well. changed a lot! But not that much and they even still have like, actual phones and some even still use wire headphones.

I think I said something about it being a soft scifi story with cyberpunk-ish vibes which kinda explains it? Well. The technology isn't that much different than ours due to some big problems Earth had to deal with first before getting back to making consumers suffer fulfilling individuals' needs. They have more cleaner energy now, and space travel, and stuff like that, yay! But the state of society has also started to go in a not-that-good direction, causing inequality to rise again little by little, while the power struggles have also caused the corporations to gain more control over what's happening in society and politics, which also makes them (maybe a bit too violent) rivals.

This turned out very...um...long. So I divided it into parts that are

Technology (+ side tracking to societal reasons)

What to expect if you were to live there

State of society in late 2200's

State of society in late 2200's but this time it's about corporations

Happy reading 🤍

Technology

Since I mentioned phones and all, I should probably start with technology JFBNGBFBFJFN UM. It has developed a lot, but the technical development (especially during mid 2000's - late 2100's period) have largely been concentrating on things that are more community/society related than on individual consumer items like phones and shit like that. One of the biggest breakthroughs was finding a specific mineral in space that functions like an extremely big solar panel and has thus advanced the clean energy sector. No one wants another climate catastrophe hahaha. ough.

The phone network is now everywhere, so there won't be a "oh no there's no signal in these woods" moments. or will there. and why is it so necessary anyway, hm 🤨 Public transport is thriving but so are the cars and bikes for some reason. Bikes and electric scooters have obligatory sound they make so people will get less driven over by them and vehicles will be less prone to not notice them and drive over them. No flying cars for consumers but ppl like paramedics and firefighters have helicopter-car combos that are 1) quick and 2) capable of carrying tons of stuff.

Another thing they've learned is quick space travel. Earth has many colonies in different parts of space, though some are actually ex-colonies (like Mars). This doesn't really show back on Earth in any way other than "hey my friend's friend's uncle's cousin's etc moved to x planet". Many people seem to want to move away bc there's this idea on Earth that the colonies are doing much better (they're not in most cases). People moving back to Earth is very rare and is viewed as, well, very weird.

Now, you may wonder why did I phrase the network part like that. Well! Like I kinda mentioned, there was a climate catastrophe. While people did manage to get to safety (some also just moved to the first colonies on other planets, either bc they wanted to or. well. bc they were chosen to 😬) and survive, what followed was chaos because of all the danger and new things that everything started bubbling over. Tons of crises at different parts of the world, and the inequality going sky high. A united planetary board was created, which then managed to allocate resources in a way that would calm the population and solve the problems. They made sure that from now on the budgets corporations and institutions get for their research will be based on how important their idea/innovation could be for the people, which then led to actually rebuilding the whole Earth society into something more united and more healthy.

One of the other things said board decided on, though, is the surveillance. Every person has a little device in a wrist (of non-dominant hand), containing their personal information, ability to pay, and also working as a small data disk. Peiple can choose what info they want to make public (for example, name and pronouns and stuff line that), and also share files with each other. While most opt to use their phones/tablets/laptops etc to confirm payment or see the data they have, later on people developed a modification that allows a small hologram of "screen view" to appear after a specific finger tap sequence. A small minority even manages to do their work stuff somehow... ANYWAY where was I. Right. That sounds somewhat easy, right? Yeah, well. The thing is, whenever you walk into some public building, the scanners at the door scan the device to identify who's inside or who left. It can also, in some situations (legally) be used to pinpoint a person's location when they, say, break a leg on a forest walk. I say legally bc while that was originally the idea, by the time Cynosure happens things are a bit different. :))

As for individual, consumer use related tech, companies started to pay attention to developing it again starting mid 2100's when things got much better again. Personal devices like computers and phones were made more durable due to the directives the Board had set, and also started to have even more powerful processors/graphics and larger amount pf data storage. Of course, most of these upgrades hit the markets much later after the institutions & corporations had them for years, partly bc solving world problems requires devices more stronger and powerful...

Cybernetics are not popular, but aren't rare either. They're expensive as hell and are mostly available through needs based programs (in which situation the government pays for the most of it). Most are health related, and other popular ones are more like devices that monitor person's health and medicine use etc. Health influencers are also big fans of these.

Later on (~early 2200's) some big corporations started to offer some special cybernetic implants for their workers, like hormone and medicine controllers to be more productive. Or things that will give advantages in *looks at notes* violent work encounters. Those are mostly offered to people who work a lot with other corporations or who have a higher risk of getting assasinated.

Unlike cybernetics, what actually are popular are new solutions to change certain parts of one's looks, like hair color, eye color and height (this one requires expensive cybernetic implants though :/). You can now have pink hair without going to the hairdresser every month.

Other things still seem almost same as nowadays, though there is more "smart" tech available. As in, the "your fridge knows you're running out of eggs and you planned to make an omelet for dinner. it has taken its liberty to order new pack of eggs. the grocery shop bot will be there in a moment."

OH THAT REMINDED ME! there are in fact robots and androids in there, most of them also used as some kind of employees. They're usually used at places with possible danger to humans, but some places have also started to use them as waitresses/baristas/customer service, alongside actual human workers. AI is highly regulated and it is illegal to make an actual, human-like intelligence paired with a very human-like body. G*ner*tive AI (censoring simply bc i don't want this to show up in search 🤪) is mostly forbidden, not counting occassional smarter chatbots.

There's also fun plasma guns and specific non-lethal weapons. People find a way how to make them lethal though.

What to expect if you were to live there

There are some things that are better! All education is now free (unless you want to/your parents make you go to some fancy university that thinks it's hotter than others) to make sure that people will have a lot of knowledge to have better chances at getting by in their life. The Earth Board has also made a directive of universal social security, additionally with some special needs based benefits. Cities/towns are walkable and mostly connected by public transport. Cities also tend to sprawl into big areas to make sure there aren't too many people living in the same area. There's also lots of parks and many trees and plants planted in the middle of the streets.

Despite the social security and knowledge, there's still inequality, and it started growing even more since early 2200's due to the local political power slowly sliding to big corporations. :/ They tend to pay more but also tend to choose people from more prestigious universities and schools, often also having preference on people's earlier careers. That leaves most people to work in smaller corporations or public institutions. While robots or androids do many blue collar jobs, some people also choose to work there, and their salary is very good due to the nature of such jobs.

Farming and overall agriculture has become popular, too, due to tech that makes it even more easier :)

While most of the climate catastrophe problems have been solved, there's no denying that weather has changed and became more extreme. Where Cynosure happens, it is a normal thing to have rainstorms at least twice a month, some very severe and often resulting in people having to stay at home. Summers are hot but quite humid, making them not so bearable. There's no "snowy winter" anymore, and many of those who's lived there since their birth have never seen snow in their life.

Pets are still allowed! But, well. You need to take a course of pet care practices to get a license to do that, mostly to prevent pet abuse, illegal/unethical pet adopting practices and easy spread of animal-borne illnesses.

Schools tend to have additional classes that teach children and teenagers about adult life (to make sure no one ends up not knowing how to do x bc their parents didn't/couldn't teach them etc). Many hobbies are made more accessible, though some parents still find a way to get their children into more expensive ones that require a lot of time and tend to be more professional...

Dealing with officials and bureaucracy has never been easier. Is it the fact that your personal info is always with you or is because customer experience is a number one priority for them? I don't know, man.

Health care is more accessible and doesn't cost a lot, but the "downside" is high progressive taxes. There's still enough money to live well though, most of the times. Big corporations tend to have better health insurances and thus their workers are able to get more higher quality med care than others. Some even have their in-house doctors. Some non-big corporate entities try to fix this by having their union give discounts on those for their members.

People tend to be more liberal about sexual & gender identities, partly because Earth doesn't want people to mass move to Mars bc of its more progressive views. HRT and surgeries are available, some corporate headhunters even try to get some young people come work for them by promising full coverage of those + paid leave for gettting better.

Alcohol and weed are available for sale to people over 18. Nightclubs and bars are popular, some streets being just full of them. Working for a corporation in a stressful environment? They might also prescribe you some other stuff if they think it would help productivity/worker's wellbeing. Public sector workers don't get that due to strong regulations.

Media is a big part of how people spend free time. There's tons of tv shows and movies, comics, books and video games. People also love talking about them. Fast food is also still a thing and all. The food is almost the same too hehe

um nothing more comes to my mind rn so. well. maybe i'll come back or y'all can ask abt something u want to know :]

State of society in late 2200's

Before I go into actual state I need to explain how government works probably? Like I already mentioned there's this United Planetary Board (aka the Board) that's made up of different specialists from different scientific fields who represent their own field for 2 years (chosen by scientists in their field and brings whatever said field comes up with on their own meetings). The Board's idea is to decide on the main points & directions for Earth's development and sometimes make up law directives which is probably the only practical thing they do that ppl should care about.

Then we have national governments that basically function in a night-watchmen state-like way to see that the laws work etc etc. They also make some specific laws sometimes that overrule local governments' decisions.

Local governments are more, well, local, and decide about things of a specific area. Due to their importance and heavy effect on basically whatever is going on in the territory, some big corporations have started getting their own representatives there, and also mayhaps pay the other representatives to support their ideas as well.

Like I mentioned before, despite all the social security/nordic welfare state stuff, inequality is starting to rise again bc some people just want more for themselves and manage to charismatically get into local governments., making social security services poorer and lowering taxes etc etc.

This then shows a bit in the crime rate. Crimes haven't been that visible for a century, but are now resurfacing back to the streets. Gangs and organized crime is also getting more and more foothold and starts to be visible. Some big corporations also tend to (unofficially) support some of them bc they help each other. Homicide rate is still a bit lower, but a somewhat big part of it happens between corporations or in corporations...........

Corporations in 2200's

Remember when in the beginning I said that the Board decided to fund those institutions and corporations that pay attention to Earth problems that need to be solved? Yeah, well. Bad idea in the long run.

This decision led to certain corporations becoming awfully big and power hungry, allowing them to throw their competitors off the market and also become incredible lobbyists.

Most of the big ones specialize in biotechnology, defense, pharma and energy, or a mix of those. There are smaller ones that hang out in such fields, too, but they're not that important. Public institutions also still do research but they're not as popular and often looked down upon as "less important".

Obviously back in mid 2000's the Board also made rules that help people see how exactly does a corporation spend money, but century and a half later most of the transparency has been lost and corporations are back on their secretive path. This also means that things like anonymous whistleblower channels are also often forgotten or not paid attention to in big corporations, or they're just not that anonymous. Lucky ones who manage to contact media to bring something up are often left with ruined career and barely any safety. Corporates have their own "investigations" for a few months if not years, and they mostly end in favor of the corporate or the worker who has more friends there.

I gotta admit I need to work more on corporations bc I only have one (1) planned out a bit. Will probably do some kind of intro for them later hehehe <3

[explorevenus]

hi everyone !!!

so happy ppl are enjoying the new chapter but i just wanted to get something off my chest if u don’t mind ;w;

i appreciate that everyone has differing opinions on how they want something permanent to end, but please understand that i already have the ending planned and it’s a little concerning/frustrating to have people commenting about how upset/disappointed they’re going to be if it doesn’t end the way they want it to.

i’ve noticed a sudden influx of people commenting that they want a “happy ending” and for one, i’m not even really sure what that means given the contents of the story, and for two i just personally don’t feel that a supposed “happy ending” would make sense with the world i’ve built. i think it would be jarring, immersion breaking and out of left field for something permanent to have a “happy ending.” of course i welcome criticism and discussion, but this isn’t about criticism and discussion, it’s about people very blatantly telling me what to do with my own story and i just don’t like that.

at the end of the day, something permanent is my brain child and it means a lot to me that thousands of people have been reading it and engaging and becoming invested, but i shouldn’t feel worried that people are going to riot and hate me over the ending that hasn’t even happened yet. i never expected it to blow up the way it did and i would just really appreciate it if everyone could respect that i am going write it in a way that i’d like for it to be written, and i hope that’s enough for people.

while the ending is still a number of chapters away— i tentatively plan to end it at 15 chapters— i just needed to get this off my chest because it’s starting to make me nervous that it’s going to be controversial and quite frankly i just don’t think it’s that serious. this is a fanfiction written entirely in my free time and purely out of love. of course i love to hear what my readers think but there is a massive difference between discussion/questions/comments/criticism and… threatening to riot if the ending isn’t what you wanted it to be.

i don’t say this to be rude but there are dozens of other stories similar to something permanent that do provide that “happy ending” and you are welcome to read those if that’s what you’d prefer. without spoiling what i have planned, all i’ll say is that if you’re looking for a happy ending, you’re not going to find it in this story and i don’t think it’s fair to get upset with me for writing what i want to write. i’m not here to morally grandstand about kidnapping and abusive relationships— if you need a fanfiction author to tell you those things are wrong, i don’t know what to say to you.

lastly i’d just like to note that this is not directed at anyone in particular, it’s just in response to a trend i’ve noticed among my comments on tumblr and ao3 recently.

thanks for reading my little vent/rant, enjoy the new chapter and i’ll catch you guys later <3

[thesimulacrasimp]

Ah shit, here we go again!

HAZBIN HOTEL EP 5-6 SPOILERS WARNING‼️

Ok i literally was waiting so much to see Lucifer n Lilith being a really happy and cute maried couple and now yall telling me that THEY DIVORCED??????? IM LITERALLY CRYIN WHAHT??? 😭

and OMG LUCIFER. HES SUCH A BABY, SWEETIE, SCRUNKY, CUTIE PATOOTIE!!! HES SO SILLY, I WISH I HAD DAD LIKE HIM. JUST LOOK AT HIM OH MAI GAHD

And his voice is really cool too! Not really what i expected him to sound like but still good! N the way he speaks is really funny too:

"Oh the applause! Oh please, thank u, thank u.. oh gOD WHO AM I KIDDING, THIS SUCKS!!"

"Daughter callin-- Da-DAU-DAUGHTER CALLING??? OH---"

"TAKE THAT, DEPRESSION!"

"Oh my golly!! You like girls!! SO DO I, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!!!!"

Hes ABSOLUTELY my 2nd fave character after Vox. Hes such a sweetheart i cant---

Also can we talk about how Alastor said "Fuck you" to a KING OF HELL? LIKE I KNOW THAT THIS KING IS NOT REALLY KINGING BUT STILL I WOULDNT HAVE BALLS TO SAY THAT TO LUCIFER HIMSELF.

Also the fact that Alastor was immediatly so pissed when Luci just steped into hotel is really strange. Maybe something happened between them that we dont know so far? Cuz purposely making Luci mad literally 5 secs after u met each other is really weird.

AND OMG THIS SONG IS TOTALLY NEW FAVOURITE BY NOW, THEY LITERALLY DID AN ELECTRO SWING SONG LIKE HELL YEAH!!! N THE FACT THAT LUCI OUT OF NOWHERE STARTS PLAING VIOLIN AGGRESSIVELY AND THEN SHUTS ALASTOR UP WITH AN ACCORDION IN THIS IS THE BEST TGING EVER.

i dont know how i think bout Mimzy rn. All i gotta say is she have a really cool singing voice!

And this shot is really adorable

Ok we actually now know from Husk that someone actually having Alastors soul! Just think about it: someone have AN OVERLORDS SOUL. Not ex-overlord like Husk, AN ACTUAL OVERLORD. Is this even possible??

This last song made me cry (again). I feel so bad for Luci, he was abandoned by heaven n he just doesnt want the same fate for his beautiful daughter, cuz she is the only thing he live for (i want him to be my dad so much omg..)

Also when Lilith took little Charlie away from Luci, it was sad, but it actually made me think, what if Lilith will be an antogonist? What if she will be the bad person? Maybe the main vilian even. I think if that will actually happen everyone will go CRAZY. But thats just my lil thought.

Ok, 6th ep! I actually didnt expect that we will see heaven so soon!

Ok but sir Pentious is GOT CRUSH ON CHERRI BOMB??? WHA??? THAT WAS SOMETHING I REALLY DIDNT EXPECT

Also i expected heaven to be much more strict place with many rules, where noone is alowed to swear. But turned out that its actually just a hell with better people and more rules, thats all. And its actually really strange that u can swear in heaven. Im not talking about Adam n Lute, cuz theyre exterminators and clearly just awhul ppl, this guy infront of heavens gates actually said fuck. Maybe im just wrong, but isnt swearing unacceptable in christianity?..

Also HELL YEAH we nailed it! We were right about Vaggie being a fallen angel. But the reason why she fell.... She was an exterminator and literally just didnt kill one child (which is really shows us that she have a kind heart) BUT SHE WAS EXPELED FOR IT IN SUCH HORRIBLE WAY.

I JUST DONT HAVE ENOUGH RAGE TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I HATE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS. I REALLY HOPE WHEN HEAVEN DECIDES TO REDEEM PPL FROM HELL, THEY BOTH WILL GO TO FUCKING HELL FOR ALL THOSE VILENCE THEY BROUGHT TO WORLD, THAT WOULD BE FUCKING HILARIOUS.

Also Cherri Bomb is being kinda toxic friend to Angel n i dont like that.

ALSO ANGEL STOOD UP AGAINST VAL!! HELL YEAH, SLAY SPIDERBOI!!! IM LITERALLY NOT SCARED OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HIM WHEN HE WILL GO BACK TO HIS JOB!! IM NOT SCARED AT ALL!!!!

Ok this last song WAS SO EPIC!! ESPECIALLY WHEN CHARLIE N EMILY DID UNO REVERSE ON ADAMS SONG FROM EP 1!!

AND THAT PART WHEN ADAM REVEALED THAT VAGGIE IS AN ANGEL WAS SO EPIC TOO I LITERALLY GOT CHILS

and Charlies reaction to that was actually really heartbreaking

And everything ended up with Adam winning. I really hope that justice will overtake in this whole situation and Charlies plan will work. And im really interested to see Charlie n Vaggies relationships after that reveal. I honestly think that Charlie will forgive her, but its still really interesting.

Wow, it took me long enough to make this post.. I really like direction this show goes, n i can not wait for the next 2 eps!!

My thoughts/review on eps 1-2

My thoughts/review on eps 3-4

My thoughts/review on eps 7-8

[ninicaise]

I love your posts so much! I’m curious, what do u think would be Laurent and Damen’s thoughts on open relationships, do u think it’s something they would try?

interesting question. i've made it into a joke already in this post and also there are these fantastic tags from @/not-a-coral-snake and it's the best thing ever so true so funny so them.

it's quite evident laurent has no interest in being with anyone other than damen. furthermore we don't see damen being interested in anyone ever again after he has a night with laurent + it makes both of them very jealous when they see or think about the other with someone else. so at least in the universe they're in i doubt they'd be genuinely interested in that kind of relationship. know that if they ever tried it they'd be miserable, and in an easy happy peaceful world they wouldn't even think about it.

unfortunately these people do not live in an easy happy peaceful world. it's inevitable that they at least discuss the possibility. however the only way i could see them having an open relationship agreement is through some sort of misunderstanding of each other's needs.

there's the fact that at least akielos is a culture in which people and esp nobles are expected to have multiple lovers/a harem. laurent goes above and beyond and a bit too much when trying to compensate for something he did (trying to die for damen for example) and i think for a certain period of time he would be respectful of akielon culture to the point of being too much. forcing damen's own culture onto damen himself, kind of thing.

it's likely damen has had open relationships in the past (jokaste anyone). he knows how they work, he grew up knowing it to be a natural thing, he knows that as king he is expected to have a variety of lovers. and likely in any other circumstance he would. he just isn't interested unless laurent is involved. damen hates the idea tbh but he will give laurent what he wants bc he thinks well. maybe laurent wants to explore his sexuality a little more with more people who aren't damen after years of repressing it (he doesn't) and if he is insisting so much then he must have a good reason (objectively he doesn't).

plus, and i think this one is the most likely, laurent knows he's not exactly an easy lover. ppl overestimate the amount of both self-respect and self-confidence laurent has wayyy to often. laurent is canonically insecure about anything sex related and a future-oriented control freak, so he'd try to have control over any affair damen might have if at some point laurent stops being enough by ensuring he will be able to claim that he knew all along, that laurent was the one who allowed it, laurent was in control the whole time. kind of like with th i know who you are damianos thing. i've known all along. i know you'll get tired of how complicated i am eventually i know everything i am prepared for every possible outcome you can't catch me chaos of this world etc etc.

it's not that he can tolerate the idea of damen being w other ppl, it's just that he thinks he has to tolerate it bc 1) he doesn't deserve a say 2) the alternative (damen getting tired, feeling trapped and leaving altogether) is way worse 3) he thinks it will happen eventually anyway and this is the only way he can remain dignified. or so he thinks. lol. this mindset is of course unhealthy. so he should work on that.

[mosswitch219]

Some thoughts on Bad Batch Season 3

SPOILERS

First off I want to say this is going to be a very unpopular opinion and if you liked the szn this probably isnt the post for u, but I feel I have to speak my mind.

Overall after watching season 3 I honestly feel let down and unsatisfied with the events and especially the ending.

1. Techs death is probably the biggest thing that frustrated me because when you kill a character off you should either have your other characters morn and grieve them and learn to accept the loss or bring them back.

However they didn't either of those, instead they pretty much forget he existed they barely reference him and only say his name like twice, it would be fine to show characters in denial about someone's death but it's more like the show is in denial. This is why many bad batch fans were expecting tech to come back, if you don't morn a characters death than the story arch feels incomplete a ppl will wait for it to "end".

Not to mention techs story didn't seem over he left on weird unfinished terms with Phee and it seemed like they would touch on it again but nope.

Also they introduced CX-2 and made it seem like he might be tech, such as having the same build and teasing the identity like it's important and like it will mean something and then at the end for CX-2 and all these super soldiers to mean absolutely nothing.

2. So many unfinished questions, I can't believe this is the end of bad batch and apparently the last clone show. Especially when we still don't know where tf Cody is and all we're told is that he's gone AWOL (mentioned like it will mean something in the future) and then we never see or hear anything about him again.

Then there's Wolffe obviously we know he's in Rebels but what happens between then and now?

Then there's Echo same as Wolffe what happens to him as we never see him fighting alongside rex in Rebels.

Then ventress she was introduced back and then she leaves and we never see or hear about her ever again, she didn't rlly add much they revived and went "look ventress is back" for one episode and then that's it she's no longer important all she did was say "yup omega has a high M count" and then left.

3. Omega and the other force sensitive children could have patched up the plot hole of "somehow palatine is back" by saying using omegas clone DNA that can sustain high levels of a M count and a force sensitive child they were able to figure out how to clone palatine or smth but no it all meant nothing and we never rlly knew what the tests where for even when they had a golden opportunity to reveal it when Rampart forces Nala se to tell him everything abt the experiments

Honestly season 1&2 were great and so I went into season 3 expecting the same amount of quality but I didn't get that. They usually tie everything together and I never felt unsatisfied or confused in szn 1&2 but I did in szn 3. I kept waiting for things to start to tie together especially when the had so many moment where it seemed like the scenes where there just to make things make sense but no they were all there for nothing.

I walked away from szn 3 thinking it must have been rushed or gotten a new writers team bc wtf was any of this, it was so out of character for the writers to make such bad decisions.

I understand if other people like the ending bc we don't usually get somewhat happy endings but this was more like a half-assed happy ending to me, I would have preferred a well written devastating bad ending but this is what we got instead and I am so disappointed. All I could think of szn 3 was about how angry, let down and confused I was and that it was a lame and made me feel meh.

[infiniteorangethethird]

hey! sorry if this is weird but would u mind explaining what being "loveless" means? like in the way people say "loveless aro" or "loveless apl" etc

Heya there, not a weird question at all! However I do wanna preface this by saying that other ppl in the community might have different experiences with the term than I do, different reasons for identifying with it, so just keep in mind that as almost everything, being loveless is a spectrum and others might have slightly varying definitions of it.

I'll give a shorter, more generic reply, and then a longer explanation of my own relationship with the word, hopefully it'll be enough to paint a picture to anyone new to the term. (If not, feel free to ask follow-up questions! I love talking abt this stuff lol)

In general terms, loveless is pretty much what it says on the lid. The LGBTQIA+ wiki describes it as someone who "is in some way disconnected from the concept of love, does not feel love, may doubt that they feel love, or rejects the idea that they need to experience love". Basically, someone who doesn't feel love, or feels it in a way so disconnected from how other people seem to experience it that calling it love would feel disingenuous, wrong. Ppl who identify as loveless are usually reclaiming a word that has been used against them so many times - essentially saying "actually I don't feel love (the way society expects me to) and that is okay".

In terms of my personal experience: from what I can have seen, when people say they love someone, what they mean is an emotional desire to be with someone - to spend time with them, to talk to them, to make them happy, make sure they are safe and well. You get the gist. The important parts to consider here are the fact that it is an emotion, and that it is directed at a person/concept, not the actions surrounding that person/concept. It doesn't matter what you do or what the other person does, you want to spend time with them, even if it would need you to do or try things you otherwise wouldn't even think about doing. (The trope of "going to see a movie you hate but your loved one loves" comes to my mind.) You don't desire the actions, you desire the person, so to speak.

And this is exaclty the thing I don't experience. When I spend time with people, I do it with the expectation that I get something out of the interaction - a good time, help or support, a listening ear to my current brainrot, whatever, which I "pay back" by offering my support, my help, my listening ear when the other party needs it. I am not drawn towards people but rather experiences - and if those experiences involve or are made better by involving others, it matters little to me who those others are, so long as the experience itself is not ruined. It's always so strange to me when people go into things they don't really enjoy just to appease someone they love - if you don't want to do it, then why do it when someone else wants you to? And even more so: why do you want to spend time with someone when every interaction you have with them makes you unhappy, makes you suffer? ("They sometimes treat me badly but I can't just stop loving them" is a sentiment I hear a lot and don't understand at all.)

But most people don't view relationships as exchanges of goods and services, and have an expectation of this emotional drive from the other party. This emotional drive is what I'm missing, and this lack of drive is the reason I choose to call myself loveless. It might be tempting to assume that I choose to not feel love, that I am deliberately distancing myself from people, but trust me: I've tried for many many years to force myself to love others, but emotions don't exactly work like that. Me calling myself loveless is accepting that there's an emotion others experience that I don't, and that it's okay to not be able to feel love. It frees me of the expectations I have been putting on myself for so long.

I hope this helps answering your question 😊 other loveless ppl feel free to add onto this, the more thoughts shared the merrier!