#what kaeya means: I wanted to see if you want that too asklfsd;jfkd

[howthesleeplesswander]

Given his ability to keep up with Kaeya to an impressive degree, Ryunosuke's fumbling in this moment spoke volumes. Kaeya could always find a way under one's skin if the desire struck; he could always read another well enough to turn the tide in his favor. Observation was one of his greatest strengths. Nothing escaped his notice.

Thus, in the moments after his calculated strike, the impish Captain caught the hitch in Ryunosuke's breath and the astonishment widening dark eyes. As his companion slowed to a stop, Kaeya's steps followed suit: keeping them locked in that orbit, dancing end-over-end in this game of cat and mouse. In the midst of his scrutiny—studying and memorizing every response he earned—Kaeya was struck by how charming Ryunosuke looked in his fluster. The mischief in his grin grew more pronounced the more he floundered.

"Hmm, well...Technically all of it was," Kaeya said with an easy shrug. "Surely I don't need to remind you that we're not, in fact, a couple." And while he didn't verbally acknowledge it, the gleam in his eye as he glanced down at their interlocked hands seemed to challenge that statement as much as the gesture itself.

"As I said: the main reason was to ensure the extension of our evening together. The second reason..." and he trailed off purposely, relishing in the drama, the anticipation of the pause— "...was to fluster you." Kaeya dipped inward with that admission, drinking in the swath of crimson that painted Ryunosuke's cheeks. "I'd say that was a resounding success.

"But if you want the truth?" Before that truth was even offered, those words felt foreign on his tongue. Bitter. Kaeya swallowed the taste; he wouldn't back down now. "I wanted to see how you would react. Onlookers have certain expectations when they think two people are a couple. If I were to speak about you that way, or touch you that way..."

Uncharacteristic for a man whose heart had long since fractured into shards of ice, his hold on the bend of Ryunosuke's fingers was gentle—even tender. Kaeya used it to tug him nearer. He stepped into his space, his opposite hand daring to cross that distance to settle at the curve of his waist.

"I can discern almost anything about anyone from the briefest conversation." His voice too had lowered; hushed not out of respect for the late hour, but for the preservation of this moment. Only for Ryunosuke to hear. "But I'm afraid that matters of the heart are where my talents find an abrupt end. I couldn't predict how you'd react."

Kaeya's thumb stroked over his knuckles—unconscious, almost hesitant. A coy smirk attempted to hide that uncertainty. "You still look like you want me to mean it. Am I wrong?"

And so, Ryunosuke would learn the hard way how big of a difference there was between expecting something… —and being fully prepared for that something.

Credit where credit was due, if not for his propensity to make foolish mistakes every now and again, he’d be somewhat at a stasis in his learning curve, now wouldn’t he? There always had to be people—or simply just things, events, misfortunes—keeping him on his toes, reminding him often that he couldn’t relax at the first sign of success. Because that “something,” no matter how expected it might be, would unremittingly knock him down more than just one peg.

Kaeya was the “something” of this equation. A man Ryunosuke had known long enough now to understand what frozen tendrils wove him together—brittle beneath an impressively convincing veil. He knew what to anticipate in his behavior, knew the refrain to almost all of his songs, had memorized his patterns both from his own attentiveness and a genuine, heartfelt curiosity to see what lay beneath that mask of his—or in his case, “eyepatch” would be more apt. Ryunosuke knew.

Circling back, however, none of that added up to his being able to steel himself this time around…

Physically, his feet stopped first. A hand reaching out to him caught in the corner of his eye seconds before brushing against his cheek. Then, it was his breath again snagging in his throat the very instant he locked his gaze on that impishly glimmering blue. Ryunosuke would fervently and passionately argue that he was certain his heart also stopped as that solitary digit curved beneath his chin… would that not have a much more devastating result if it were true.

Rather, he would attest to it skipping a couple beats. Stumbling over itself as one stumbles when missing a step on the stairs. And teetering there on the edge of the gently churning whirlpool that had become his insides.

Not a bad feeling, mind you. Expected. Yet for which a newly flushed lawyer was unprepared.

“Y-you… What?” Unhelpful, as responses went. Perhaps if he had given his brain more time to process where in the conversation they had left off, he could’ve taken those extra few seconds to manage something passable. Better late than never. Which had him standing rigid there in front of Kaeya while blinking a befuddlement he puzzled through. Kaeya was implying—

“Captain—!” he blurted on a weighted breath, eyes snapping wider with a (perhaps embarrassingly slow) realization. Then, as if also realizing they were still out on public streets—regardless of the hour—Ryunosuke lowered his voice even further, only after he brought his own hand up to gingerly grasp Kaeya’s and remove it from his chin. “Very well, then.” He didn’t let go, though. “Precisely… how much of that back there was a performance?”