#what is writing virgils POV?

[stormsthatrage]

It bugs me that so many people's default example of published fanfic is 50 Shades of Grey.

What about West Side Story, a famous modern AU of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet?

What about Dante's Inferno, a self-insert RPF if I've ever seen one?

What about Wicked, a pre-canon AU of The Wizard of Oz?

Hell, what about Percy Jackson? There's definitely an argument to be made that that's a modern AU of various Greek myths.

Humans have been writing fanfic as long as they have been telling stories. In about the year 20 BC, our dear Roman poet Ovid wrote the Heroides, a series of aggrieved "letters" from the female characters of famous myths to their respective male heroes. Are you telling me that Ovid, writing a letter from the perspective of Queen Dido to Aeneas -- Aeneas, whose fantastical adventures were put into poem by Virgil -- wasn't writing an outsider-POV fic? A fic that is, in fact, translated in Latin classes world-wide today!

There is so much famous fanfic out there, but people tend to forget that it is fanfic once it becomes mainstream enough. And as a consequence of that, people who aren't into fandom don't see how beautiful fanfic is, and some members of fandom feel shame associated with writing and reading fic. But fanfic is beautiful, and it is something humans have always done, and it is nothing to be ashamed about.

So if you ever find yourself in a situation to give an example of published fic, think outside the box. Remember that published fanfics hide in plain sight; once they're famous enough, we no longer think of them as fanfic. And never forget that fanfic is a very, very old human tradition, and your ancestors who partook in it would not have wanted you to feel ashamed of it.

[idontknowreallywhy]

Resurface 17 - Redraw

Previous bits

Writing art is not my forte but Virg doesn’t have access to a piano right now so he insisted. I hereby blame any clumsy wording / inaccuracies on this being Scott’s POV so… yeah it’s the flyboy’s fault.

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It had been a little over 48 hours since Scott had last been in the same room as Virgil. While at one end of the feed a brother was happily chatting away to his invisible-to-everyone-else best friend, the unseen brother at the other huddled on the couch, curled protectively around his tablet lifeline and was politely rebuffing anyone who hovered with offers of irrelevancies like sustenance and reassurance. And company.

He felt bad about that. He had a nasty suspicion John was berating himself for revealing those details about the past and at some point very soon Scott was going to need to fix it. But it wasn’t now. The rest of them needed to concentrate on Virgil anyway.

Speaking of which…

Virgil had got fidgety and was stretching his arms behind his head in an achingly familiar way. Gordon, who was on duty again, was heavy-napping on one of the other beds and didn’t stir. The squid had taken the brunt of his brother’s care upon himself and he needed the sleep and so this was fine. Kayo and John were distracting Alan. Scott was keeping watch and could raise the alarm if the patient got out of bed. He didn’t though, merely shuffled his pillows around a while before appearing to notice the sketch pad and new set of pencils that had been left on his bedside table at his big brother’s insistence. Scott felt a little rush of justification as Virgil seized the pad and opened it to a fresh page, tapping his chin thoughtfully with the end of a pencil.

Scott watched as his brother began to sketch some light sweeping strokes across the page. The tension in Virgil’s expression melted away and Scott felt a little of himself beginning to thaw too.

After a few minutes, the artist laid the pad down beside him while he reached over to to select a different grade of pencil from the tin. Even upside down Scott recognised the sketch as the beginnings of one of Virgil’s many sky backgrounds - rays of sun peaking through soft clouds, the hint of a light wind mysteriously depicted through graphite on white. So many things could emerge next - a cityscape, a portrait, a whale leaping from the ocean… It could be an abstract of a solar eclipse or a detailed study of one of their ships. Perhaps a flock of birds over a silhouetted volcanic island. Whatever his eventual intention, Virgil so often began with the sky and everything else followed.

He picked the sketchbook up again and proceeded to add something smaller and more detailed. Scott entertained a hope that it might end up being Two and One flying home side by side - had three of those displayed in his suite - one watercolour, one acrylic, one mixed media collage and he was more than happy to add a pencil version too if Virgil allowed it. The eyebrows of intense concentration had been deployed and Scott had begun to smile at the familiarity of this when the merely concentrating look hardened into something else.

Virgil started to add much heavier lines, the knuckles of his right hand white as he held the book steady and the left almost a blur as he dug the pencil in hard and dragged it rapidly to and fro across the page. Scott wondered how the paper could possibly withstand such a ferocious onslaught of carbon - he half expected it to catch fire if his brother didn’t gouge a hole straight through it first.

Scott watched in helpless dismay as his the look of distress on his brother’s face deepened and was on the point of calling Gordon to wake him when Virgil seemed to run out of steam and slumped back into the pillows, sketchpad clutched to his chest. He closed his eyes and took a couple of breaths before propping himself up again and gazing at what he had drawn. He didn’t move at all for several minutes. Scott unconsciously leaned sideways as if he could change the angle of the security camera to see what it was then swore to himself. This was wrong. He should just be able to go and ask… he always asked and Virg always showed him… maybe somewhat shyly but he’d always show him. He didn’t dare defy Grandma, not when he was so clueless about all of this, but his gut told him she was wrong - Scott should be there by Virgil’s side.

This was wrong. She was wrong.

He had to try again.

He stood and started towards the stairs to go and reason with her when another movement from the screen caught his attention. Without removing his eyes from the sketch pad, Virgil leaned over to the bedside table and patted around until his fingers closed over a large eraser. He spun it in his fingers for a few moments then appeared to remove something then added some small detail, his expression intense but unreadable, even to the brother who knew him best.

Some small noise must have alerted Gordon who suddenly flung himself on to the bed and enveloped Virgil in a hug.

The sketchpad slipped to the floor and Scott slowly sat back down again.

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[gumnut-logic]

Armour

For @sofasurf because of this post.

Only a short thing and not really addressing the challenge as I did a little research and in 700AD there wasn't plate armour and most stuff in Ireland was light. Plus our boys fly dragons, so instead we have padded leather armour. I also stuffed up the removal of even that.

Scott demanded POV even though I wanted to write Virgil's and the scene suffers from his lack of coherence.

But anyway, we have 500 words of something Thunderdragons. I hope you enjoy this tiny bit.

-o-o-o-

“Scott! Scott, look at me! Look at me!”

His brother’s eyes shone from a grotty and blood smeared face.

“Virg…” It was an exhalation, almost a last breath.

“Scott, you stay with me. Stay!” His brother knew how to yell, his deep voice echoing in Scott’s head, back and forth, back and forth.

He realised he was being carried. “Put him down here. I need boiled water and cloths.” Hurried footsteps darted out of the tent.

Something came up behind him and his body sunk onto a hard surface. A wad of soft fabric was tucked under his head as the room spun.

“Brother? Flaith!” His helmet was removed as a hand held his jaw. Scott opened his eyes to find dark eyes glaring at him. “Keep your eyes open, Flaith.”

Curse, Virgil only called him Flaith when he wanted to piss him off.

But it worked. Scott struggled to pull himself together. He had been on the battlefield. There had been an attack. Óen had been beneath him…

“Flaithri!” He sat up, his muscles working on memory before informing him that there was injury, the reason why his healer brother was now yelling again.

Virgil’s voice was so loud!

But arms caught him and lowered him back down to whatever it was he was lying on.

“Scott, please.”

It was his brother’s soft hiss that slammed reality home.

He was injured. But…”Flaithri?”

Virgil’s eyes answered him without words.

So, their grandfather was taken by the Scourge from across the Western Sea.

“Father?” Their father would now be Flaithri. Please.

There was a tear running down Virgil’s face. “The Flaithri has instructed us to prepare to retreat.”

“We are fleeing?” Scott struggled to sit up again, but Virgil held him down.

“You are injured, Flaith. I have been instructed to make you ready for transport.”

“Virg…”

“Please, Scott.” Again with the whispered plea.

When he didn’t respond, Virgil let go of his shoulders and began removing his flight leathers.

Scott swallowed as Virgil gently tugged at the ties at his throat, unlacing his padded armour. His brother’s breathing was tightly controlled, but that tear was still tracking down his cheek.

“Virg…”

His brother wiped his face on his sleeve. “You have injury. We need to clean-“

“Virgil.”

But his brother was looking away as he called for assistance, and the healer’s attendant hurried in, lugging water and cloths. As they removed the leathers from his side, they caught in clotted blood, leaving Scott gasping and barely hanging onto reality.

As if taking the opportunity, hands then poked and prodded and placed pressure on the source of so much fire.

The warmth of his brother’s hand on his cheek slowly drew him back from the edge. Sweat was beaded on his temples; his lungs grabbing for air.

He was bare-chested, still lying on a healer’s pallet. Virgil’s worried eyes still hovered above him.

“You will heal. But you need time and rest.”

“I have neither.” His father would need him.

But Virgil grabbed at his shoulders, again preventing his rise.

And there was something in his brother’s eyes, more than just Scott’s injury.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

Virgil’s eyes closed and his head dropped.

“Virgil?”

Something shuddered through Virgil’s frame and when he looked up, Scott could only feel fear.

“What is it?!”

“Mother was taken also.” The words rasped across his brother’s lips.

Time froze.

“No.”

“I’m sorry, Scott.” There were tears in Virgil’s voice.

“No.”

Virgil closed his eyes again.

Please, no.

-o-o-o-

[faithinchances]

Baby Jamie dukes it out with VVD

@bluestone-dragon

You have stumbled upon practically the only idea amongst these which is brief, self-contained, and that I actually might get around to writing one of these days.

Jamie has no issue with Virgil van Dijk (yes VVD is Virgil van Dijk and that is actually what my document is titled but apparently I shortened it when it made the jump to tumblr).

This fic is written from VVD's pov and takes place during Jamie's debut for City in October, 2018; he is 21 (a little old for a debut), snarky as all hell, and the emergency replacement for Riyad Mahrez and Leroy Sane, both of whom have a mysterious case of the food poisoning (this isn't foreshadowing, it's me lampshading, so don't you go accusing Jamie of giving his teammates a norovirus on purpose).

Jamie gets to play at Anfield (confusing the fuck out of Big Virg, who can't figure out why someone would give a debut away at Anfield), rile up Jordan Henderson (doesn't seem like it would be that hard, I say that lovingly), and get fouled at least twice.

He loves every minute.

There's honestly not a whole lot here, it's pretty short and sweet. I'll stick a snippet in my queue!

[oatmealdaydreams]

*pulls up to the drive thru window* yeah can i get auhhhh whats the fic your working on abt!!!! (or ur fave one if you're like me and growing a whole garden of them) and also a Are there certain tropes you really like to put in your fics?

Of course, let me get that for ya!

*demonic screeching & a bunch of crash/clutter sounds come from the background; along with me shouting "NOT TODAY, ANGST-NO-COMFORT" in the back with a battle cry*

*I reappear, looking like I just battled various creatures of unspecified origin*

Okay, so here's Current Fic I'm Working On/Fave WIP; it's a combo deal, ya see.

I have an entire meadow/flower field of drafts I'm working on (think acres long of stuff). One of them I'm currently working on is something for my MLP blog; it's a hurt/comfort drabble with Twlight Sparkle (main protagonist) and Spike (main protagonist's family/friend). To me, Twilight is like the big sister and Spike is like the baby brother. Sanders Sides related? I'm working on a drabble called A Wilting Flower that's based on a post one of my other moots talked about (@/askfurrysides). It's platonic Roceit, hurt/comfort; Janus comforting a very hurt Roman. One of my faves? Oh, they're all my darlings... one good one is this Dukexiety MLP au with cracked-horn unicorn Remus, flightless pegasus Virgil, earth pony Janus & Patton, and unicorn Logan. There's some "gotta find my missing brother" type of stuff. Janus and Roman have a kinder, less angsty friendship in this au. It mainly focuses on Dukexiety and Creativitwins.

Oh, and here's that Certain Tropes I Write for ya!

What's funny is I was going through and moving around old Wattpad drafts from those ol' days, and found a lot of common tropes I still kinda write. In list form bc I can :3 For My Human AUs > making Patton & Emile cousins > making Virgil Italian > making Janus French/speaks French > making Logan and Thomas adoptive brothers, usually with Thomas being the lil kid brother > making the twins have a complicated sibling relationship with each other > making Remus and Janus besties always > making Roman and Janus have a less angsty friendship/relationship > writing everyone's POV that isn't Patton's > making Remy an older sibling to the twins or to Virgil In General > giving Remus separation anxiety and abandonment issues, especially when it comes to Roman > giving Roman so many insecurites, omg, the ANGST, I'm not sorry >:3 > making Virgil and Janus figure some form of reconciliation or putting their shit on the back burner in favour of the Others/Thomas > complicated siblings/doomed siblings Creativitwins > hurt/comfort always, except when it isn't > touch-starved Sides finally getting the support they so desperately need > Logince (Logan & Roman) where it's them being representations of Thomas' executive functions & what happens when burnout/brain fog/creative block happens > chosen family, my beloved <3

There's more in stock somewhere, I don't want to overfill your order.

Enjoy!

[just-a-fander]

What you don't see | fear

This is the second chapter. I'm writing this with @ghost-guard-13 the book version is on wattpad

Wc: 1678

Cw: smoking, fighting

-------------------------------------------------

6 am, Monday

Virgils pov

The suns rays disturbed my fitful sleep, earning a groan at the realization that I had never really left. I'm still here, I thought, in hell.

Sighing miserably, I slowly sat up, looking at the wings that weighed me down like the onslaught of responsibilities I held. I knew I had to put them on. They sat there, across the room on a stool, it felt like they were mocking me, saying I'm free but always keeping me in place.

I finally stood, striding to the bathroom connected to my room, glancing at the calendar hung on my wall and allowing a small smile to shine through. It was Monday, meaning I got to eat breakfast.

Under it said meeting, in bold letters. Great, another useless meeting about some stupid thing, I thought. Maybe it would be exciting this time, or as exciting as it could get.

I leaned down and turned the handle, cold water pouring down from the faucet. I cupped my hands under the water and felt it pool in my hands, I then brought my hands up and splashed my face to help wake me up. I then started to brush my teeth after I went out and got the wings, I took off my sleep shirt and threw it on the bed, its not like it mattered if the bed was a mess, it fit the rest of my life.

I picked up the wings and walked over to the angled mirrors, grabbing the screw driver. I carefully turned, watching the mirrors as I screwed the built in screws in the little holes of the over-sized door hinges that held them. Immediately I felt the 20 pounds of that wing alone hold me down, then the other. They pulled my shoulders down, forcing me to have good posture.

I sighed and looked at the time

6:20

I then walked over to the dresser and opened it, looking for the one shirt that was made to fit me with my wings.

No one pov

After Virgil put on his shirt as well as his belt.

He walked over to his bedside table and picked up his ring, it had a black band and a purple gem. He slipped it on and turned to walk out, glancing at the clock.

6:24

He left his room and walked to the meeting room. He reached for the door nob, hesitating before finally opening it, walking in. Everyone was already in their seats. Nameless faces as far as he was concerned. He walked over and sat down, feeling the weight of his wings on his back, his shoulders where pulled down, he know it should hurt but he wasn't able to feel it, he couldn't feel really any pain other then on his back even then he hardly allowed anyone the chance to be behind him.

He looked ahead, his father finally speaking, "your late, as usual."

Virgil kept eye contact, looking down would be a sign of weakness, he couldn't show weakness. As much as it made him uncomfortable, he had keep eye contact, he nodded. "My apologizes, my wings are quite heavy, its hard to put them on."

His father dismissed him and started talking, Virgil didn't really pay attention to most of it, until he heard his name. "Virgil, you will be tasked with capturing Phoenix. I assume you will have no trouble with doing that, correct?"

Virgil nodded "of course not."

"Good, you may go get ready"

Virgil nodded, standing and walking out, heading for the kitchen, there wasn't much to eat, he made some toast and ate it as he began to plan. Of course he wouldn't be the one going after him at first, he had to find Phoenix's limit. He couldn't go after Piper, one of the two other hero's that were usually seen with him, the last time someone went after Piper and hurt him the rest of the hero's went after them. Piper did seem to be the one that everyone protected.

It would be stupid to appear randomly and go after him, Virgil himself hardly ever appeared, it would suspicious. He decided on sending a lesser villain out to do what he wanted. They usually rushed for the chance to get noticed by him or his father, everyone wanted to be on their good side.

He decided on Blade (amateur name, minor villains name themselves). He picked up the phone and called him. "Hello Blade~ your going to do something for me"

9:00

Just as Virgil was getting bored watching this child play with his butter knives, his target finally appeard. "Hola villano, who might you be? I was kinda in the middle of something."

So he has a life.

Virgil watched as the lesser villain, in that tacky ninja mask, announced himself (honesty making a fool of himself) "they call me Blade"

Virgil tried not to cringe. "Thats a bit on the nose, don't you think?" Phoenix stated, for once he had to agree. Virgil watched closely, taking notes.

He was quite high up, watching from a fire escape. He left his wings at the base so it'd be easier to wear his black jacket. As much as he hated wearing black on hot days, it made it easier to hide in the shadows and watch.

"Like yours is any better, Phoenix."

"Well at least I'm creative! Blade."

Virgil rolled his eyes, they sounded like children bickering.

"Now now, what do I always say about name calling." An unfortunately familiar voice said, Piper. He groaned, the one person he didn't want to be here, great.

"Piper, nice of you to join the party!" Phoenix said excitedly.

He grabbed the phone at his side, quietly walking away. Blade was going to need back up. The metal creaking slightly. He slipped inside of the building seconds after. Hearing Pipers voice "well I couldn't leave you alone now, could I?"

Virgil came back only a few minutes later hearing one of the other villains voices, "I had a feeling you were going to need back up." Frost said, Virgil slightly smirked.

He saw that Blade was already loosing, honestly, what he expect?

Virgil sat back down, watching the fight from afar, taking notes.

Frost jumped down from staue of some forgotten person, landing gracefully on the ground.

"Well if it isn't Frosty the snow man." Phoenix teased.

Frost raised a brow, "you seem to forgetting that I've won the last few times we've met up, sparky."

"I beg to differ."

"Then go on, beg." Frost smirked. Virgil sighed, of course Frost had to risk his life just for some action. No wonder why he was single.

"This reunion is nice and all, but unfortunately we have places to be, so let's wrap this up." Piper said, Virgil raised a brow.

Phoenix smirked at him, "I'd hate for you to melt."

"Aww how considerate of you~"

Virgil groaned, were they seriously going to flirt the whole time?

Piper unclipped his pan flute. Blade shouted and attacked Phoenix from behind, Frost sighed. Ice appearing, separating Blade from the heros. "I don't have time to babysit you, I have a job to do." Frost stated. Virgil was silently grateful for him being work focused though, he would never admit it.

"That makes two of us."

Ice inclosed the two, Virgil sighed. He supposed he would only get to see the end. On the inside of the circle Frost stared at Phoenix, "I'm here for you."

Virgil heard the sweet and almost calming song of Pipers pan flute.

Phoenix punched the ice wall, only going half way through, cracks spreading. Phoenix tried again. Frost spoke up, "I know you too well, sparky. I can't afford to get distracted by your friend." The spot the was originally damaged repeared itself.

"I think you've forgotten just how much we've faced each other snowflake." Phoenix replied.

"And everytime you give me a reputation with the boss, and get new access to things I didn't have before." Frost said calmly.

Phoenix placed his foot down, flames erupting against the ice wall. Frost glared at him, not wasting any time as he started to climb. He shot ice near Phoenix, hoping to get him off balance and make him fall. He wasn't allowed to kill him after all.

Frost watched as Phoenix climbed over the wall, dropping to the ground. Frost made an archway for himself as he walked over, "you're making this harder then it has to be Sparky."

"Can you mix it up a little? Sparkys getting old, popsicle." Phoenix replied. Virgil watched, slightly smiling, so he wants something new?

"Oh don't worry, Sparky, we're just getting started." Frost smiled at him.

"Thats what you said the last tem times, helado!"

Virgil spoke into the earpiece, "I've got enough for now, you can back out."

Frost laughed, backing up. "Leaving so soon?"

"Oh Sparky, this is nothing like the past. Its a shame this may be last fight for us though."

Virgil watched as Frost backed up, a mini blizzard appearing around him, as he slipped away. "Come back you coward!" Phoenix yelled.. Virgil quietly got down, meeting Frost.

"You did good, better the new boy." Despite being smaller then him, Frost still feared the man.

Frost nodded, "thank you, its always a pleasure working for you."

Virgil smirked, "the pleasure is mine."

He turned and walked away, finding the scene, slipping into the crowd. He watched Piper and Phoenix arrest Blade, he didn't care. Blade had proved himself useless.

Finally he watched as Phoenix made his grand exit. Flames erupting around him. Virgil managed to get near where Phoenix last was, trying to find him.

He walked over to the alleyway, looking down it. He saw nothing but crates, still he decided to stay near it, just incase.

He leaned against the wall, lighting a cigarette. Breathing in the smoke. He knew it was unhealthy, he just didn't care, he lost everything already, so why should he?

-------------------------------------------

Please let me know if you like this

[hebuiltfive]

Fandom Creator's Self-Rec Game!

Choose five favourites from your own creations (and tell me why, if you like!), then pass on to at least five other people. I'd love to hear what you're proudest of.

Thank you for the tag @forest-falcon!

This is slightly easy (slightly difficult) as I don't have many published works still, so here we go:

Hope Was A Fragile Little Thing

This was the first piece that I put out there, so naturally it has a special place in my heart. It's a short work following Jeff in the Oort Cloud. He reflects on life and love and loss.

International Rescue, We Have A Situation (Part of The Long Game fic)

This fic is currently on an unofficial hiatus because I got stuck on it (mainly because I didn't plot it properly but that's a whole other story), but the opening chapter is still one of my favourite pieces.

This is from Virgil's POV and is set in the aftermath of Jeff coming home. Tensions are rising in the Tracy household and Virgil, once again, is the one having to try and smooth things over.

Up From The Depths/Lost

I submitted this for Gumnut's FabFiveFeb challenge earlier this year, and somehow it ended up having two titles in my drafts.

This is a short drabble piece following Gordon and his struggle with survivor's guilt.

Aliens in Control? Who really leads International Rescue? (Part of the Tabloid Trash series)

This one has probably been the most fun I've had writing a piece of Thunderbirds fiction (that's been published anyway). It was spawned from wondering what kind of ridiculous headlines that tabloids would write when given the topic of The Tracys. The title, I think, is pretty self explanatory on which topic this particular article is about.

It features a 'journalist' who would be better suited to fiction, a conspiracy theorist who might be a reoccurring OC in this series, and a little cameo from Alan and Gordon at the end.

Haunted

Wayne Rigby's muse caught me one night when I couldn't sleep, so I decided to indulge it and this was the result. I do have some more ideas going forward for this, even wrote a little more after I posted this specific one, but I'm not sure if they'll pan out. We'll see.

But this is a very short piece where Rigby is being haunted by the events of his past. His anxieties are keeping him from much needed sleep and, lost in his thoughts in the dead of night, he's becoming lost in endless worries over things he cannot change.

I'm not sure who to tag so I'm tagging anyone who sees this, who wants to do it but who hasn't done it yet!

[edupunkn00b]

Re: WIP Ask Meme:

3) What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it? 5) Which wip your most likely to finish or update next? 9) What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Found this very-delayed response to a WIP Ask game in my drafts. (And I thought I only did that with work emails!) Thank you so very much, Sharon, for the Ask!

Tags and Warnings

There are two WIPs from the Happily Ever After main universe (Logan-Janus-Roman-Remus series) that I don't know if I'll ever share. They both take place post What Might Have Been. One is called Joy, the other is untitled. Each of them would require Major Character Death tags, as well as a healthy dose of unreliable narrator. In Joy, the unreliable POV is Remus'.

In the untitled (post-apocalyptic) story, the unreliable narrator is a six-year-old Joy. (OC, sorry, not sorry, hafta read What Might Have Been to find out who she is :D)

Which WIP is Next?

Meus ex Machina is finally getting a proper publishing. I made some big changes that required a lot of editing (and an additional chapter) so it's taking a bit of time, but it's coming. New chapters are going up here on Tumblr and on AO3 each week.

Story I'd Love to Write But Haven't Started Yet

Oh, I have several in mind. Honestly, I think Thrall, the final story in my vampire series, Beside Me - Dee - Ours - Thrall. There was no way we could leave so many open questions about thrall (and Logan's about to see just how easy it is to enthrall someone you don't intend.)

[mysisypheannightmare]

No Hugs, Please - Chapter 7

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6

Word Count: 2058

Warnings: the barest food mention, typical angst

Notes: It's been quite a while, hasn't it? Sorry that there's been so much delay on this story, but I can assure you it's definitely not abandoned. This particular chapter had, like, three different versions since I first started writing it, but I think I've settled on this one. Hope it's alright!

(btw, this is back to Logan's POV, with a brief moment of Virgil's POV but the switch is obvious)

--

He hadn’t meant to react so harshly that night at dinner.

Logan usually spent so much time properly preparing his responses and keeping his reactions under control, so the unusual amount of unwarranted affection throughout that day had quickly become difficult to navigate, resulting in his horrendous outburst towards the others that night, followed by mortification and sulking in silence in his room well into the evening hours.

He should have better prepared or created some sort of contingency plan for himself when it came to such extreme situations, but he hadn’t. So instead, he ran away, as he had been prone to doing as of late.

Straightening his tie, Logan took a deep breath.

He had spent the majority of that night and the next day in his room, collecting his thoughts and diligently developing yet another newer, better system to regulate his stress and reactionary behavior in regards to situations like had been exhibited the evening prior, but he genuinely regretted having spent so much time avoiding everyone when he had just made the promise that he would cease doing so.

Every step to the door, every motion as he made his way downstairs to the common room seemed excessive and heavier than usual. He assumed it was the guilt of his actions, and upon seeing the other sides sitting and watching television together, he could confirm that was exactly it.

No one looked over at him as he entered the commons, not even as he hesitantly paused behind them on the couch before making a beeline for the kitchen instead. He wasn’t supposed to be hiding anymore, but he needed something to do with his hands before he began tugging aimlessly and unnecessarily at his tie or his collar, therefore displaying his nervousness.

He wanted to be sure to improve himself before ruining more of their evening activities, so it should be the best course of action for the time being, even if it only left him full of guilt.

Further misbehavior would be worse, after all, he told himself.

One glance back into the common room and catching the slightest movement of Virgil turning his head, likely taking notice of him.

He’d told Virgil the other day that he would not avoid him like he had been. Surely, there was some better compromise for this situation…?

He owed them an explanation, didn’t he? He should be expected to apologize for his actions, considering what happened.

Setting a kettle to boil on the stove, Logan forced himself to calm down and think out an adequate introductory phrase for the conversation.

Hopping right in with an apology would be efficient, but the others often preferred to deliberate on a topic before moving on. Well, he surmised, so long as this wasn’t a matter of debate, he should be able to get right to the point and then briefly explain his aims to improve before leaving them to continue on with their evening in peace.

--

“Patton. Roman. Virgil. May I speak with you all for a moment?”

Succinct. To the point. He reminded himself to keep this conversation efficient, for their sakes.

All three turned to him, then all looked at each other. Or, rather, Logan noticed it seemed more like Roman and Patton both looked at Virgil, who then nodded and they all stood to face him. He wasn’t entirely sure what that was about, but he figured it was something to deduce at a later time.

He held his hands together in front of him and spoke.

“I promise not to keep you long. I merely wanted to apologize for my behavior last night at dinner. It was reprehensible and for that, I am sorry,” Logan paused, keeping his voice steady and calm, to let them know he was serious. “I’ve already taken some time to reflect and have determined the most beneficial preventative measures for any future debacles, so you have my word that it shall not happen again.”

There. That should do the trick, he thought, as the saying goes.

Logan watched as Patton and Roman both shared a look and then stared at Virgil again, as if waiting for something.

Logan was well-aware that he rarely apologized, for a variety of reasons, so he expected the others may have been caught off-guard with his statement, but he hadn’t anticipated what Virgil would say in response.

“Oh, don’t worry about all that, Lo.”

Virgil had dismissively waved his hand in the air. Logan blinked, finding himself confused.

“It’s not fine,” he retorted, trying his best not to sound argumentative. “I should not have been so disruptive or gotten upset–”

“Seriously, Logan, it’s fine,” Virgil insisted, cutting him off. “Everyone has their bad days, so it’s okay.”

Virgil looked over at Patton, who was wringing his hands in front of him nervously. When Patton caught his eye, his eyebrows shot up with recognition, suddenly turning back to Logan and agreeing with Virgil.

“He’s right, Logan! We completely forgive you and don’t want you to worry, okay?”

Virgil then pointedly looked over at Roman, who then feigned a cough and simply added, “What they said.”

Logan said nothing. He wasn’t sure what was happening here, but something was wrong. Despite their positive responses, this outcome didn’t seem satisfactory at all.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything else you’d like me to do?” he asked inquisitively.

Patton shook his head enthusiastically and then smiled at him. Logan didn’t like something about this, but was it perhaps possible the lot of them were still emotionally affected and needed more time to process the situation? That wasn’t exactly something he fully understood, so it could explain why the outcome seemed odd.

“Very well.” Logan took one last look at all three of them. While he was unsatisfied, they had responded with positive words and claimed to forgive him. He should accept that and not expect anything more.

“Again, sorry for interrupting your evening,” he quickly added. “I’ll be off to my room now. Good night.”

He sank out before the others had any chance to change their decision on the matter.

--

“Virgil, please, I need a hug after all that–!”

Patton had barely held out long enough for Logan to sink down completely before he’d turned to Virgil and wrapped his arms over Virgil’s shoulders.

“We really did mess this up, huh?” Patton pouted into Virgil’s shoulder.

Virgil sighed, patting Patton on the arm he had wrapped around him.

“It’ll be better soon, Patton. Just remember what I told you.”

Roman sighed,

“Are you sure this will work, though? I mean, I know I can control myself just fine, but it’s clear Padre over here isn’t going to last as long.”

He walked over to pull Patton off Virgil and into a proper hug. Virgil rolled his shoulders, trying not to seem bothered.

“This will work, Roman. Just keep the hugs between us for now and everything will be fine.”

Patton frowned, but nodded into Roman’s shoulder.

Virgil turned away from the other two, silently hoping this plan he’d thrown together would actually work. Logan didn’t want anyone touching him, so finally getting the other two to back off should fix everything…right?

God, he hoped so.

--

Logan was hard at work throughout most of that night. Motivated to find a proper solution for his outbursts against the other sides, he researched and narrowed down the best options to try. He had accumulated many preventative measures, but had yet to research their true efficacy within any case studies nor test those methods for himself.

By morning, he’d determined his first course of action in adjusting his behavior would be to take on more direct observation and document his findings. Journaling was a tactic that had often helped those struggling to express themselves, so perhaps notating what behaviors or thoughts may need further attention and research was a good starting step. He wouldn’t be changing anything too drastically, as to not affect the others or wildly alter his routines, but it would be a benefit if the method helped him to better reflect on his own behavior and his responses to others - for further analysis, of course.

And, as he had noted yesterday, he still wanted to fulfill his promise to Virgil about spending time with him, so he decided to give this new plan a trial run. He scheduled momentary breaks throughout his usual routines to document any observations or findings that may occur that day.

Notebook tucked under his arm, he left his room and headed back towards the common room downstairs. Given the early hour, he was most likely to find the others in the kitchen or living room, preparing breakfast or already partaking in it.

And he was right. Patton and Roman were talking to each other animatedly across the dining room table and Virgil was slouched over in the chair between them, head in his hands as he tiredly stared down at a small stack of waffles, only half-eaten by then.

He kept quiet, spoke when spoken to, and made sure to document anything notable as he continued on with his daily routine. Everything that he often would determine as typical behavior now felt more fresh and possibly foreign with this new plan enacted, causing him to alter his perspective a bit as he observed the other sides throughout breakfast and on into the rest of the day.

--

Notations and small phrases soon turned to full-length pages of notes as the day went on. He especially filled many pages after watching a bizarre argument break out in the hallway upon returning to his room that afternoon.

He wasn’t sure what to think of the whole scene that had transpired. But it was probably worth writing down, given that it was part of his new plan, right? He could research more about it later but could document specific details right now.

As the day went on, he noted similar moments happening with the other sides, whether he spoke with them directly or simply observed them from afar. He continued to note everything down, only seeing the emerging patterns after poring over his notes later that evening.

The others seemed to be avoiding him.

Not exactly new behavior, as this sometimes happened after a particularly egregious argument or for a brief period after Logan had reviewed another side’s contributions a bit more harshly than they anticipated. It was understandable, especially considering he’d experienced his own desire to avoid the others before he had determined a solution to his outburst the night prior.

However, he opened his notebook to spot repeated details that supported an emerging theory.

Roman seemed so quick to comfort Patton throughout most of the day today, and Patton was doling out hugs quite a lot, too. Virgil seemed to keep his attention on Roman and Patton, and occasionally Thomas whenever he requested it, but these observed actions lacked a known motive.

Like he’d already concluded, the avoidance was not necessarily new behavior. And, considering Logan’s outburst the other night, it was very possible their hasty forgiveness of his disruption may have been merely an excuse to avoid him until he could be truly forgiven.

But he had asked them directly what more he could do, and they had said nothing. If they wanted more from him, why hadn’t they just said so?

And then there was the matter of the argument he’d stumbled upon that afternoon. Virgil and Roman exchanged some sharp words as usual, only for Virgil to go a little too far after Patton asked them to stop. Virgil ceased their discussion and promptly apologized. Noble of him to do so, but once Patton and Roman told him it was fine, Patton asked for a hug and Virgil acquiesced, seeming uncomfortable at first, but then fine only moments later.

He’d written down what he saw because something about the exchange had seemed notable. It wasn’t until now, as he was reviewing it, really thinking it out, that he realized why.

It was completely different from his apology yesterday.

Sure, the severity of the situation was vastly different, but the casualness with which Roman and Patton issued their forgiveness remained the same. In fact, there was only one major difference Logan could determine.

His forgiveness had involved no hugging.

--

(Thanks for reading, even after all this time!)

Taglist: @angels-are-beautiful @falseh0od @illogicalthinking @malqueeb @honeybee125 @rizzyluke @pricklyfish777 @kingbinoftrashland

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

for the fanfic ask game: 7, 12, and 25? Plus one you'd rlly like to answer if you want :0 (from @virgeandhis-pocket-protector)

@virgeandhis-pocket-protector

7. Post a snippet from a WIP

When Virgil was a small child who had two parents that were very much alive (and not decaying in a grave somewhere six feet under the earth) he used to sneak into their bedroom late at night as children are wont to do when distressed or feeling unwell. -Gibbous WIP

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them

It depends. For most one-shots, it's a free-flow of consciousness unless I get stuck or I can't finish it in one sitting, then I jot down a few quick notes of where I want to take it. For longer projects, I definitely try to lay down a bullet point outline. I often do end up straying from the outline because as I'm writing I find a different way to take the story. This is what part of my outline for Gibbous Chapter 10 looked like:

Logan is sick in the werewolf sense (Full Moon, well technically)

He's worried about Virgil and unable to keep away from Work

Contemplates speaking directly to Virgil (Maybe flashback to Remy and Logan's talk?)

Patton shows up, "I'm not mad, just disappointed" (Bit of an argument)

Someone knocks (Virgil: "Logan, I have a package"), Patton opens the door

Virgil is obviously unwell.

Virgil to Patton: "Logan, are you wearing one of Patton's hoodies?"

Virgil faints

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Would you laugh if I told you it was everything but the writing process? Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy when I get in the groove when writing the rough draft, but I find it more fun to take a rough draft, tear it to shreds and then rebuild it back up to be better than before. Worldbuilding/brainstorming is easy, putting it on paper in a semi-coherent fashion first try is not. At least for me haha.

Bonus Question: 24. How do you choose which POV to write in?

I kinda shot myself in the foot when I decided to write Gibbous/Howl Verse in multiple POV. It's not necessarily a bad thing but since Virgil is kinda the focus/main protagonist, I try my best to keep the focus on him even if it's not his POV. Which is sometimes a hard balance to strike since I want to delve into the others' stories as well. As to deciding what POV to write, it's basically whatever POV I think is the juiciest to write in. I personally like it when readers find out things from Character A that Character B doesn't know about, because it adds some tension as to how Character B will react finding out (although I'm picky at times about this lol)

As to By the Pricking of My Thumbs verse (Heard No More/Spoke No More), I intentionally challenged myself to write only in limited pov from the perspective of Virgil. It was really challenging at first but it does give me the benefit of doing some plot twists since Virgil is unaware of a few things.

Fanfic writing asks!

[kidflashimpulse]

I need to write about Bart but idk what to write

where do i even start… LOL there’s just so much you could literally start anywhere and that would be totally fine :D

you could write about him going about his day as a civilian/at school for example, that would be totally interesting!!

him hanging out with literally anyone i think could make a totally cool story! Sometimes I think about him hanging out with Virgil or Cassie and just come up with anything and it would be pretty amusing.

a fic about a mission? post mission?

a Zetaflash fic? cause why not lol

Outsider (like the other ask, i don’t necessarily mean the heroes Outsider i mean just an external perspective lol) POV on him? Could be from a complete stranger

You could write about his original timeline? Whilst many fics touch upon it and make allusions to it, there r not at all many that address the specifics on how his world was like and what type of experiences he may have gone through.

About his relationship with his parents? His cousin Jenni or half brother Owen?

a fic about the mandatory yearly mental health check up that Jeff makes all the heroes have ?

His thoughts on living in the present time? What it’s like being Kid Flash, taking on the mantle etc

hope these give u some ideas :) i’d love to read what you come up with !

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

So! Re: director's commentary shsksjsj. Melliferous is literally like always on my mind and it's just shsksjsks so good. Bls whatever crumb you're willing to give us about the fic, I will very much enjoy. Plus!! The Thomas and Virgil buried alive fic!!!! So good! I am kissing you on the forehead for that one so ye. Whenever you're up for it I am basically vibrating for the director's commentary for those.

Here's some odd thoughts on both of them, just for you!

melliferous

So one of the things I'm really careful and insistent about in my writing is POV. You might have noticed it. I'm meticulous about this, both in reading and writing: the point of view of the narration has to be both consistent and recognizable. If it's from Virgil's POV, then that must be distinguishable from anyone else's, and we aren't getting insight into another character's head or thoughts as long as we remain with Virgil, and so on. Usually I stick with one character the whole way through (Virgil in Chessboxing, Thomas in Pick A Side, the OC in the Inception AU) or I switch POV from chapter to chapter (Eucatastrophe with its rotation through the full cast, Syzygy goes back and forth between Thomas and Janus).

Melliferous is the anomaly here, because it doesn't have a defined narrator or point of view. It's an omniscient narrator, which I usually shy away from on principle, but I did this on purpose. I wanted the whole story to have a kind of drowsy, dreamy feel of unreality to it, and narrowing things down to a single narrator would have taken away from that. It couldn't be Thomas (my go-to when I'm writing ensemble cast stories like this) because Thomas is dead and not there. It couldn't be any one of the Sides, because that would be elevating them to protagonist, and Melliferous is, at its core, about the group.

So instead you get a narrator reminiscent of folk tales and fairy tales, who knows more about the world than you do, patiently tells you what you need to know, and speaks with pretty words and a kind of knowing resignation, because they know exactly how it's going to end before it's even started. It's the only way this story could be told, I think.

A lot about Melliferous was carefully calculated to be disorientating and strange. It's not a normal Sanders Sides fic, and I knew that going in. Things like: the story opening on a conjunction and in medias res, never explaining exactly how the Sides are alive when Thomas isn't, never explicitly saying 'Hades is a Bee, Seph is a butterfly, also Seph is Persephone' - leaving that all up to implication, albeit very obvious implication - and of course the fact that the strangeness of everything is barely questioned by the people inhabiting the story. The TSS canon universe should not be one that supports concepts such as Greek Gods And Bee Hell without question, but I never wanted that to be in question, just like I wanted everyone to be as in-character as I could manage the whole time.

I feel like that's what makes good surrealism. The familiar tempered with the wholly absurd, in a way that it takes you a minute to go 'wait, why am I just accepting it?' - melliferous is definitely one of my more successful wanders into that sort of storytelling.

lying in a box with a lid on it

This fic was born out of a very specific set of thoughts I had, which I will now roughly try to recreate, in order:

there are a certain bunch of fic tropes that I really enjoy, involving characters being put into Situations, often much to their distress. however, I only really see these specific tropes in certain types of fandoms, like Marvel and the Witcher, occasionally Doctor Who.

Whenever I do see them in Sanders Sides fics, it's usually in the context of an AU (not always my thing) or in the context of Canon-ish Imagination Adventures (again, not always my thing)

I don't think I've ever seen a canonverse fic wielding the Buried Alive trope, have I?

(related thought from a completely different train, arriving almost simulstaneously at the station with the last one) the only way you could get Virgil to discuss his problems with Thomas is if you locked them both in a box and kept them there for hours.

hey wait a second

I like writing unique stories, stuff you couldn't find anywhere else. And there was just something really novel to the idea of Thomas and Virgil getting trapped somewhere together in his brain that I liked the idea of. It felt fresh and interesting, and also something that hopefully would stay a oneshot instead of turning into a multi-chapter epic.

Virgil and Thomas's dynamic is one of the more fascinating ones to me, because of the coexistence between 'we are friends and i love you' and 'you are literally my anxiety and as much as i love you, you occasionally hurt me as a part of your existence'. Someone in the comments of this fic described it as the Hedgehog's Dillemma, and fuck, that's exactly it, isn't it? Shoving them into an enclosed space ratchets the mental health issues up to a million, because they hurt each other. But it also makes them talk it out, because they don't want to be hurting each other.

Was this fic also just an excuse to force them to cuddle? Maaaaybe. Maybe that was my secondary motivation. That happens to be a favorite trope of mine, too.

[idontknowreallywhy]

Resurface 7 - Reject

A little more Virg POV following on from all this.

He is… somewhat confused and very much peeved.

💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙

Virgil hadn’t felt this furious in a long, long time.

Normally things that made him angry required practical action - stemming blood flow, ensure an injured brother was safe from the threat, if not, get brother away from the threat. Then there was the task of watching over them as they recovered, monitoring stats.

He would quietly mourn the souls they couldn’t save, making a note of names and dates. Calmly write engineering reports that would ensure particular persons found themselves unable to take such risks again. Maybe go on a design binge with Brains to find ways of making next time better.

The remaining rage he couldn’t expunge through practical, constructive solutions he threw into art or music, forcing the bitterness and pain out through his arms on to canvas or keys before collapsing, empty and exhausted, into bed in the small hours.

But this… this anger had come out of nowhere. It had, he realised been lurking there for years, unacknowledged, perhaps even unnoticed. It filled his veins with a bitter, stinging substance and he had to battle to keep it in check. He was the calm one. Scotty needed him to keep his head.

Scotty needed him.

“Can I come in, Virgie?”

Virgil glanced at Scotty who was no longer happy and smiling and didn’t show any sign of having heard what Dad said. He had gone quiet and was fiddling with some of Shadow’s switches with a worried expression on his face. So, even though he wasn’t the pilot in charge, Virgil answered for the both of them.

“There isn’t room. We’ve gotta go.”

“It’s ok, you’ve… you’ve got plenty of time. Look I’m just going to slip in here so we can chat alright?”

His father had clambered into the pilot’s seat before he could shout at him not to squash Scotty and then… no. NO!

“Where did you send Scotty? Dad! Please, no, don’t let him leave without me. Not this time!”

His blood was fizzing violently and he knew his voice was shaking but he tried not to shout. He mustn’t shout. Dad shouted when he was cross. Scott shouted when he was cross. Virgil was the calm, logical one. Virgil made it better.

“Um… Virgil I think… uh… Scotty is needed inside, for uh, a briefing. Ok? Can… can you come too? I’ll give you a lift down?”

Dad sounded oddly unsure of himself and Virgil knew he was lying and he… he couldn’t be calm Virgil anymore. Everything burned.

“You’ve upset him and he’s run away! How can you not see what you’ve done to him? All these years you just won’t stop asking and asking. He’s killing himself trying to please you Dad and I can’t make him see. I can’t make him stop. He won’t stop. He… can’t stop. Because of YOU! But this would have made him happy, if he can save his friends and I was going to make it work for him! You can’t just waltz back in here and take over and send him away! Not again!”

Those blue eyes, so very much like his brother’s, were wide and sad and… scared.

Dad was never scared.

Dad was scared… of him?

Virgil didn’t know what to do with that because people shouldn’t be scared of him because he was the calm kind one. He felt dizzy and sick.

With an effort he unclenched his fists, closed his eyes and pressed his face against the cool plexiglass window, trying to find his balance, trying to bury the confused but overwhelming memories of when he’d last been so angry that he’d hurt his father.

Everything fizzed and buzzed and burned but then something scratched his neck and the fizz started to become fuzz and there was a voice and he strained to hear but couldn’t make out what Dad was saying anymore…

[gumnut-logic]

Virgil & Cass

@shirubie​ I have written a couple of bits and pieces playing with the Virgil/Cass dynamic. Unfortunately, I have not finished most of them ::headdesk:: I have to say that writing a romance takes a lot of work, and I am a bit of a hit and miss lazy ass at times. But I thought I would list the few fics I have written that involve these two.

Long Term - a definite attempt to lead into something serious. Follows on from Getaway. Didn’t get past two chapters. I keep thinking I should fix that.

Useful - the scene I posted a couple of nights ago was from this fic. It is a five and one, and that chapter stands alone.

The Tattoo - Virgil is very much about chances lost in this one as I killed her off...oops.

Infirmary Bros - Tippy and I blended universes in this one and Cass has caught Virgil’s eye, but only off screen.

Untitled - this was the one I had a decent plotline attached to. Cass gets her own POV and everything, but I haven’t finished it. It is a sequel to Inferno, and explores what could have happened to a rescue operative who was hit by a falling elevator and it isn’t pretty. Again, incomplete, but there are five thousand words of whump, Cass, and Penelope.

I do like this pairing. Virgil has a new friend, at least, so things could stay that way or delve into much more. Lots of fun stuff to explore, and considering she has kids, opens up a whole dimension of Virgil character exploration as well :D

I think for Untitled, I had built a back story where Cass’ husband was another emergency worker, who lost his life on the job - adds a pile of drama should Virg and Cass decide to take things a bit further.

Anyway, I think these are all the fics I have featuring these two together? Maybe, maybe not?

Does anyone else have any Virg & Cass or Virg/Cass fics to recommend?

Nutty

(vacant of memory most of the time)

[whatgaviiformes]

For elemental writer asks, could I request psionics please? "How do you get into the heads of your characters?" Thankyou in advance!

Of course you can request it. <3 I guess they live in my head isn't a decent enough answer? I kid, I kid. Gordon is the easiest, naturally by what I posted the past few years. Or, at least my version of Gordon. If he's my home base pov/voice, there are things I intentionally do to switch to the other brothers. For Virgil, I focus on sounds and sights in a more focused way - things he sees and hears and the itch of his hands to build or fix. For John, there's usually a concept or fact I am playing around with, which leads me into needing to research the thing. By nature of being in that inquisitive space, I can usually find John. He's always been a blend of the science and art for me, so I don't write him *all* science but the research helps. I really enjoy getting into his headspace. For Alan, I think I pretty much write Gordon but a bit more youthful, but with an intelligence like John's. He's pretty hard for me to write, actually, so he doesn't show up as much in my natural writing.

Then for Scott, I get a little more straight forward, a bit more direct, and I think I just write "big brother." It works most of the time.

Hopefully they sound different on the page, and sometimes Gordon or John will get super arty and I sit there going - shhhh Virg, that's not how your brother would describe a sunset - but in the end those sometimes become my favorite parts. Life would be boring if we all defined ourselves and our actions only under one lens or facet. So if they stray, I tend to let them and then I think about why they are in that space.

Otherwise, I have playlists. I do have one for each brother, but I can't write overtop of those. They might intro me in, and then once I sit down to write, I prefer to play music based on the tone I am going for. Thanks for the ask. Hope all that made sense!

[oatmealdaydreams]

Nothing is Mine

First Person POV? Damn, it's been a while. Let me know if you wanna be added on or taken off the taglist.

Pairing: none

Trigger/Content Warning: neglect mention, suicidal thoughts, being ignored mention, fear of being alone, fear of being forgotten, fear of being unneeded, hurt no comfort

Description: Logan ruminates about how he's treated, all alone in his room.

Extra: First Person POV, in Logan's POV; back from when I used to write in First Person. It's been a while since I've done that, lmao.

[Masterlist] | ao3 link

[read under the cut]

Alone in my room, sitting at my desk. My papers and pens are scattered, and some have managed to litter the floor. My lights are low. My room feels cold and stale. I don't remember the last time I kept it decently clean.

How can a room feel so empty?

It shouldn't feel that way, right? I'm in the room. There's things in here. It's not empty. It's not supposed to feel empty.

Confusion figuratively holds my heart. I'm not good with emotions. I'm not supposed to show them, either. The others have made that clear every time I interact with them.

They just love to ignore me, shut me up.

No one wants to hear my facts, my input, my knowledge. I even made myself less invasive for the Redux video situation, but I was still skipped over. Silenced. The others didn't even listen to 'logic' when Janus took over and impersonated me. They thought it was me. It's like they rather listen to emotional turmoil than actual logic and fact.

Maybe Janus would be a better logic. He certainly cares about Thomas the way the rest of us do. He's Self-Preservation, after all. Not just Deceit. Not a 'villain', like Roman likes to say.

Maybe it'd be better if I 'ducked out'. Am I holding Thomas back from taking healthy breaks? From moving forward? Is that why no one listens to me? Why no one wants me there?

Maybe I should 'duck out', even just as an experiment. I wonder how'd the others react, if they would even notice. I don't think they would. Maybe Janus and Virgil. Maybe even Patton, but I doubt Roman would. Or Roman would notice but decide to ignore it. Maybe he'd enjoy having me gone. Maybe they'd all enjoy me being gone.

Would Thomas notice?

What would happen to him if I were to just disappear for a little while? Would he still feel my influence?

What if he didn't? What if me 'ducking out' killed him? What if it hurt Thomas?

What if I 'ducked out' and was replaced before Thomas could get hurt? A new Logic, a better Logic. A more interesting and 'fun' Logic.

Maybe Janus would take over, temporarily. He seems to know enough facts and knowledge to play the part. He can get people to listen. He can get Thomas to listen.

He can do his job right.

I can't.

I can't seem to do my one purpose right. I just fucking can't. Am I really necessary?

I want to be necessary. I want to be needed. I can't stand being alone and forgotten. I don't want the others to forget me.

I want Thomas to listen to me, to need me.

What if he doesn't need me anymore?

The others ignore me all the time. They don't want my input. They shut me up for a reason. Maybe a good reason.

What if the others don't need me anymore?

What do I do then? Just waste away in my room? Maybe make way for a better Logic? Maybe... maybe let myself turn into something else. Something to better serve Thomas and the others.

Maybe I should.

I can't handle being constantly ignored anymore.

Why do I feel so... empty? Sad? Upset?

Mad?

Betrayed?

...Lost?

Patton would be able to better explain the feelings swirling around in me. He is Thomas' heart, figuratively at least.

All I can do is sigh and sit in my desk chair. At my messy desk. In some sort of solitude.

Why do I feel so... bad?

What is wrong with me?

I wish...

I wish I got my own thing, for once. I share an emblem with Patton. I didn't even get to tell Thomas my name. Patton did. I didn't get the chance to show Thomas I trusted him on my own. Patton took that away from me.

Things are always getting taken away from me.

My voice, my name reveal, any attention I can grab before another Side figuratively steps in.

I don't... I don't understand. How come it's just me?

Patton skipped over me.

Roman implied I was still being 'invasive'.

Virgil... I don't know.

I don't want to think about this anymore, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Why can't just one thing be mine? Why can't I be listened to? Just once?

Is it really too much to ask for?

Am I... not necessary anymore?

Perhaps I should rest for a while. Janus himself advocates for self-care, and he is listened to more. I should just lay down, take some time away.

If I am truly needed, they'll look for me.

Hopefully.

Taglist: @lost-in-thought-20 @thegoldenduckie @not-sure-what-im-feeling