#what is this thing im scared
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ipad broken so you already know I'm drawing garak traditionally and taking a picture of it in the dark with an android camera 🔥🔥
#what is this thing im scared#my art#elim garak#ds9#star trek#star trek deep space nine#deep space nine#ds9 fanart#garak fanart
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i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy
#and also. am a ilittlel kitty :3#mine#cats#brain empy. felt tip cats ONLY#we were promised snow today n then they decided actually :) rain all day for u#i bought new wool for a cardigan today im SO excited its gna be so colourful#i was going to do some sort of Thing on the back like a heart or something but im still too scared to do colour changing stuff#maybe....maybe next time#i think i will try a patter w like. an actual grid with it first rather than just rawdog it#bc i . do not know what im doing :3
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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The tac net crash chapter is one of my favorites so far~
Ah and. Guess what. I just discovered that including this post, I made 50 pieces of fanart for Mistakes on mistakes until.. I’m so sane and normal about this story can you tell👍
#maccadam#transformers#fic fanart#momu fanart#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#considering the speed and the amount of fanart#….yeah I can see why tumblr thought I was a bot lmao#also#I mostly read during night and then drawing from memory during day so uhhhhh the accuracy is questionable haha#mainly I feel like half of the time I don’t know how tf Jazz looks. The guy switching between his looks so often jdjfjfj#IM. SO GLAD THEY RESOLVED THEIR DRAMA EHEHBJGJ#The scene in medbay was so damn cute#oh my goddddd#the scene of the tac net crash#muah#loved it~#you know the thing is - I'm a biiiig fan of mutual feelings and actions#the scene of the kiss was absolutely great but it was a bit one sided#Jazz cared about Prowl but Prowl was far more concerned about information safety and strategy and stuff#but this?? mmmm~ Them caring for each other#Prowl using his last moments of consciousness to ask Jazz if he is mad at him#Prowl actually deeply caring of what Jazz thinks about him now when he knows Prowl killed his friends#i don't know how to explain#kisses are great but this (points) this is my favorite five star meal right here#also there is something so funny about Prowl slowly discovering fow fucked up Jazz is and just accepting it#but being so scared when Jazz discover how fucked up he is. Only for Jazz to be like “boo I knew about your fuckedupness from the start”
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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if magneto knew what the internet was then he would post to r/aita as often as possible and all his posts would be the top posts of the year. thats the kind of drama hes going through. he also gets permabanned from r/mutants for advocating violence
#.din#.txt#marvel#x men#GD I FORGOT HOW OFTEN XAVIER USED HIS GO GO GADGET PTSD ON MAGNETO IN THIS SERIES. JESUS CHRIST.#im scared of getting gwenpool'd into the marvel universe cause thatd be the first thing id think of if i met professor x#and like what if he hadnt used his go go gadget ptsd telepathy yet in that universe?#would i be responsible for teaching him how to give magneto war flashbacks?#would he be offended that i thought about it? might be worse if he wasnt honestly.#that would be my first five questions but my hand would be covering my mouth so hed be reading my mind.#< as in the go go gadget war flashbacks would be my first five questions i mean
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my personal fave "luffy holds a mirror up to someone's soul" moments. aka the whole point i think
#guy who is really good at identifying the things you want but are too scared to admit to yourself. hi luffy#its literally the whole point though. i am so charmed by the he wont help until you ask thing. or until you say out loud what you want#ive been ticking them off in my head but i remember getting to sanji's in the anime like HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS#one piece#oh god now i have to tag every girl he did this to and sanji. he does ALSO do it to momonusuke but i didn't screen grab that#in a way. i think he does it to ace too but im not ready for that#monkey d. luffy#cat burglar nami#op nami#nico robin#op rebecca#op sanji#black leg sanji#nefertari vivi#alabasta#dressrosa#whole cake island#enies lobby#arlong park
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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GRAHH REDRAW JUMPSCARE
@/marsipain's cyberpunk ninjago au!!! im sure we all know it okay time to yap if any morro enjoyers remember alll the way back in january 2023 i did something for this au and i think around a couple months ago i was like yk what ill do it again. cause the one back then really was not the vision like i tried my best but i just did not have the skill
LOOK AT THIS??? i did end up ditching the mic but i kept the stickers at least. not sure how i feel about them but they were too iconic to scrap. also the perspective kind of wasnt working out for me i didnt really get the fisheye look i was aiming for but we ball. i actually started the whole thing end of AUGUST and then i completely revamped it look at what i had before
its a vibe lowkey i like it but unfortunately it was again. not the vision wasn’t dramatic enough. i redid it last sunday and worked on it nonstop for days what was i on
PROCESS
#obligatory morro enjoyers do you rember. im back happy morrotober#what a year and 9 months does to a mf#hii marsipain how are you doing#your designs are still banger even after all this time#almost 2 whole years#im scared to tag if they see it they see it#this is a for me kind of thing anyways i just wanted to redraw and see how it would look#WE ACHIEVED THE VISION 🗣🗣 SOMEWHAT#didnt really know what to do with the background#at first i was gonna have the giant morro sort of like a projector light and it was gonna shine on top of his face#but then i couldn’t figure it out so i scrapped it#also the way i did his collar slash sleeves i realized too late his sleeves would have to be like detachable but whatever#o i just found it i spent 17 hours on this what#it felt a lot less than that#i just watched the timelapse my first couple tries are actually embarrassing#don’t let the first second and third draft discourage you guys#ninjago#lego ninjago#morro ninjago#ninjago morro#morro wu#ninjago cyberpunk au#jellos scribbles#yyippee
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ewww yuck nastyy
#cw blood#cw gore#osc#osc fanart#object show community#object show#object show fanart#object show fandom#objectified comic#objectified comic fanart#objectified sunny#cw scopophobia#kips art#this drawing is soo experimental but i like it#i feel like this is too much/messy andu cant tell whats going on but i think its fine#this is the only thing il draw relatinf to pale horse#im going back to drawing ww n sunny fluff#my boy.......#pale horse is actually one of my favorite episodes so far despite everything#rn tho i am too scared to reread it because i am a weak weak person
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I deleted that last post because frankly I got embarrassed. But ultimately, I really would like to know if the new journal pages are suspicious on purpose.
Them being fake pages made by Bill is a theory I believe quite heavily in, and in my opinion there's a decent amount of evidence for it. It feels percentage-wise very few people agree. But I guess I just want to say, it's not that I'm just out here grasping at straws to discount a book I didn't like. What we know Ford to be like, what we know Bill to be like, and most importantly what we know journal 3 to be like, those are what the theory is driven by.
When I first looked at TBOB for myself, I got to the second page of the journal pages and the perception that I was reading pages written by Ford himself was shattered instantly. It was not repaired through the entire rest of the pages. When I was sitting around at work later, the next day after I had finished reading, I was struck in my mind by a bit in Ford's final message. "He's making it all up as he goes along." I know people have different readings of the meaning of that line, but for me that's what made me feel like maybe there's something to all this.
Suddenly it wasn't just "This book sounds nothing like Ford..." But rather "Maybe this book sounds nothing like Ford... because it isn't supposed to." And I started realizing stuff. Like "Hey... wasn't Ford drawn super incorrectly here?", or "Could this part really have happened?", or "Does this page make sense to even exist?". "What is it that creates such a strong sense of dissonance to these pages?" I have kept digging into more and more of what felt wrong ever since.
If you read through them without feeling like anything was off, or if there was it wasn't something you felt to be important, it makes sense my theory would not be for you.
But I believe in it.
And if I had my own chance to ask Alex, I would.
(Update: if you haven't seen the additions I made to this post, I ask you read them too)
#this one will probably get deleted too#who knows#bob investigations#explaining things is hard for me because its not that i think my idea is wrong#but rather- if i explain it in a way that isnt good- im ruining the ideas chance of being taken seriously and explored#like my failure to speak words properly is at fault#and im scared if i do a bad job explaining then ive like- killed it#i know that pressure isnt actually there and its a childrens book but thats what goes on up there#book of bill spoilers#the book of bill spoilers#long post
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@mcyt-yuri-week Day 5, Rose/Thorns I never stop thinking about SL episode 8 never ever
#gempearl#pearlgem#shinyduo#shiny duo#trafficshipping#I tried to word it a few different ways but I feel like its still so easy to interpret this as negative but noo its positive#because the thorns here are referencing the scarlet persona that Pearl's embraced. being left with nothing but it - the thorns#But it's not that Gem likes her just for her scarlet persona. She likes her for her. Pearl's not just thorns#Gem doesnt really care about the “thorns” or the petalless rose stem. she cares about Pearl. She thinks Pearl's cool (thumbs up emoji)#Pearl changes into her scarlet fit like she has many times before with the purpose of scaring people & leaning into her feared witch thing#but Gem's just like “omg slayyy” and its the best. And to Pearl it's like whoag#Gem never saw how she changed. Never saw her be ostracized and the aftermath#But she thought that the Pearl she did see in SL was cool and so easily accepted her when Pearl herself though herself so unacceptable#she got love from the Mounders and BigB and that warms my heart but Gem being a newcomer immediately embracing Pearl is just#it hits different#whoa jimbo way too many tags hghghgh#mcytyuriweekvalentines#at first I thought about smth like “where the others saw thorns you saw a rose” but I thought it was more fitting this way#I guess you guys be the judge of that haha idk what Im saying#tubby art
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i had a dream last night that i organized a tumblr meetup and we all agreed to go to a local bar together. so i go to the bar but it was a really busy night and i didn't want to ask every stranger "are u here for tumblr reasons" bc that's embarrassing and i'm shy. so i just got a drink and felt very awkward & hoped someone would approach me. tried to look inviting and like i was from tumblr but not like i was "from tumblr". when i left some girl stopped me to ask if i was there for the meetup but i was too shy and asked what's tumblr?
in the dream i went home to make a post about how nobody showed up to the tumblr meetup but my entire dash was people saying they'd gone to the bar but were too fucking shy to admit to being on tumblr so we'd all just had a drink and gone home
#i have very vivid usually very logical dreams due to my ptsd#i'm skipping the part where i was really nervous about what to wear bc i didn't want to wear the wrong thing#also the drinks were all pink & with umbrellas . also after this in the dream there was this guy#who had been there in a chicken costume and was ''funny'' but then he was always outside my window#down the street . in the store. etc.#just standing there . moving like he was drowning. he kept signing that he was choking#and i was too scared to help while his feathers .... floating and bloated in the dry air#.... while he begged me with his weird puffy wings. silently. choking and choking and choking. his toes barely touching down#and meanwhile im like sorry dude i gotta jump on tumblr to talk about this bar experience#dream me: okay the drowning on dry land chicken guy is fine. but i draw the line at social anxiety
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halloween fic idea: the strangers au where it’s actually feixiao, moze and jiaoqiu on halloween night scaring you to death outside of the rental you’re staying in because they’re all strangely obsessed and extremely possessive of you.
thoughts are being thinked
#✦ ( misc. )#✦ ( scribbles. )#( like jiaoqiu turns the corner and stares directly at you and you’re like ??? what in the world )#( and then he walks straight past you. )#( realistically im sure he can hear you quite well with the ears because fox ear anatomy hearing good reasons )#( moze is the silent brooder that ALWAYS seems to be in the right place at the right time )#( watches in the shadows. springs out of nowhere and scares the shit out of you )#( number 1 manhandler will grab you and drag you about )#( and feixiao… ohhhhh… she knows you. )#( ringleader of ALL of it. )#( set the whole thing up. posed as a friend for YEARS just for this very moment )#( this idea is lowkey haunting me i can’t do this anymore )#( ‘who wants dinner!!!’ the stranger that walked into your house says as you’re being roughly restrained to the dinner table )#feixiao x reader#moze x reader#jiaoqiu x reader
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page full o' hobies 🎸
top pose inspired by @spectra-bear
process pics under da cut ↓
#mine#spiderverse#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#spider punk#well YEEHAW im finally finished with this#after 3 trips to the craft and dollar store to buy stuff i needed#this page is FINALLY done good lord#its been... 3 weeks? since i 1st started this?#needless to say im sick of looking at this thing#im simultaneously kinda scared to post this bc im not 100% happy with it#but at the same time im like… so ready to just post this thang and be DONE with it#never lookin at this again jfc im sick of it#i love hobie dont get me wrong and i love drawing his face#but geeze louise#me doodling this while crying: hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hATES CONSISTENCY 😭😭😭#thats my excuse for not really uhhh getting his face down 100%#also god yeah i didnt get his skin nearly as dark as i wanted cuz uhhhh#ya boi was workin with shitty dollar store crayons#im ngl i kinda.... miss my alcohol markers :/ but whatever ig i did what i could lol
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DHMIS doodle pages that I managed to cut and paste together and color! I personally like them a lot haha.
2nd doodle page is sorta inspired by @mariaisshiki ‘s piggyback trio drawings.
B/c it reminded me of the time I tried to carry my baby cousin on my back and I am SO short that even though I got her body off the ground,both her feet were still firmly on the floor. That memory was so horrific I had to project it onto the smallest one.
#dhmis#dhmis duck#dhmis yellow guy#dhmis red guy#dont hug me im scared#i really think he'd try it lol. he would be indignant at the idea that he couldnt#like HEY. I AM NOT WEAK AND IM ALSO A GREAT FATHER FIGURE I COULD CARRY HIS YELLOW ASS FOR MILES ILL SHOW YOU ALL RIGHT NOW#then it would just be. the saddest thing anyone has ever seen.#which is what it was exactly when it happened irl to me amen#top ones just a doodle page that i liked a lot honestly looool#there was a comic in there too but um. i made a lengthy sequel to it it got away from me real fast man. you guys will see soon lol#me art#my dhmis postings
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