#what is the in-between there? IS there an in-between there?
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What if we were three girls and we were all bisexual?
#kpop demon hunters#kpdh#rumi#zoey#mira#polytrix#ad25#I loved the dinamic between Celine and Rumi#like i don't think there is any queer subtext but that exaclty what growing up in a hophobic household is like#like i love you but not if you are gay#you are not gay right?#i love you but don't behave that way when we go outside#i love you but i didn't know you'd be like that#i love you but dont dress like that not because i want to protect you but because i'm ashamed of what the other will think of me as a mothe#you are not gay right#i love you but we have to fix you#i love you but not enough to overcome what they taught me#i didnt raise a monster#you know normal stuff
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It should be more difficult to argue for mischaracterization in fanfiction, because a fanfiction is divergent from the source material in the first place. The moment The Character is written to say "Hey how's it going" versus "Greetings, allow me to introduce myself" is already some distance from the source material either way, even if one voice is arguably more similar to the canon of That Character than the other. What I think readers can sympathize with is the process between parsing the source material and running the simulation that is the fanfiction version of The Character, but that's largely a mystery. The process is not going to be in the text itself.
unless they specifically asked, you donât get to tell a fanfic writer you think they mischaracterized the character by the way. because the second someone writes a fanfic about a character, that character becomes the writerâs own version of the character. canon is only a suggestion, but whether or not an author will follow it / how much of canon an author will take is entirely up to them. you donât get to stick your nose in their world and tell them âhey this is not to my liking therefore I think youâre doing it wrongâ when you can simply leave quietly and move on to something else you may enjoy
#I'm thinking of how the Persons 3 fan comic Persona 3FTW had such a chad sense of comedyâ#âso it was as out on character as a crackfic or summarized badly meme is meant to be#meanwhile the Jason McConnell who lives in my head sometimes sounds like Neil McCormickâbecause I'm experimenting with style not character#but if that's mischaracterization then yes I'll take it because I can sense the characterization drift too#But most of the time it's something in-between or a secret third thing.#OOBC Jason McConnell was cast and directed to be kinda jerkfaced from the first moment...#...but fanfictions that describe him as heroic/kind do make more sense (or else Peter Simmonds comes off as really stupid for liking him)..#...so that's not MY characterization but it IS somebody else's good characterization (Dalles Wilie's) (...Jason Hite's too a lil bit)#Aaron Tveit's Gabe Goodman versus Jack Wolfe's Gabe Goodman: wildly opposite but I understand why some fans like one over the other...#...and BOTH are Canon Gabe!#I disliked BTM Peter so much that my internet handle is named for him. But I have read some meta that listening to BTM P's vindictivenessâ#âis cathartic and your know what? Good for you. This version was staged and accessible. Eat well.#So if canon can do that with big name Broadway stars involved & ticket pricesâthen why not free fun hobbyists fanfictions by fans?#heck Andy Mientus's Hanschen touring back in like 2007 versus Andy Mientus's Hanschen in 2016 were not the same guy#despite being exactly the same guy playing the same guy.#...Is it just the medium? Are television shows or novels more restrictive about The Character because there is only one definitive version?#(naur can't be; I watched a bootleg of Bare in which Peter and Jason were STRAIGHT)#(as in they flinched away once the lights went up on Matt at the end of Best Kept Secret like ewwwww i kissed a boyyy...)#(when Jason was dying Peter pointed & laughed. These are not The Character. They're actors beefing with each other backstage & it shows wtf#fanfiction
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KilIin' It Girl!
Synopsis. Heâs a 10 but when he says âjustâ the tip - itâs never just the tip.
Pairings. [SEPARATE] Higuruma x Reader, Gojo x Reader, Ino x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Geto x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Toji x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem!reader, âjust the tipâ, they go feraI, manhandling, spĂtting, chokĂng, rough s, PĂSSYDRĂNK MEN, theyâre big, tummy buIges, pressing down on it, Gojoâs powers, creampĂes, cĂşmplay, implied marathons, true form Sukuna, dp, matĂng presses, p talking, p sIapping, trying to hold himself back (failing), pet names, swĂŠaring.
A/N. This song is saur good omg-

⥠TOJI FUSHIGURO - The pull-out game
Oh- Toji doesnât think heâll make it out of this alive.Â
Heâs clawing desperately onto the sides of your thighs, toned hips crashing against your shivering front with a gruntââJust the tip nowâŚatta girl, just- just take the tip.âÂ
So hot and raw.Â
Because truthfully, Tojiâs never let himself slip inside you without that stupid lilâ piece of rubber- and now that he wasnât wearing one, itâs not like he couldnât handle it - he swears! Heâs just taking it nice nâ slow for your sake, watching just how your eyes roll cutely back at the curve of his mushroom head burrowing between your swollen folds.Â
Your mouth waters at the way his veiny tip was filling up your gooey walls, and you find yourself bucking up with a whine. âBut why j-just the tip, Toji?â
His tone is rough. Rugged. ââJustâ the tip if you want to be walking out of this bedroom, mama.â
He was ready to ruin you.Â
And that really doesnât help because it only makes you arch your back with a carnal craving for more, more, more. Clenching-
âFuh-fuck.â Heâs spitting between clenched canines, nose crinkling with something that sounded like a growl before Tojiâs teeth sink deeply into the junction at your neck. Heâs muffling out his gravelly lilâ whimper at the way your walls were tugginâ him even deeper inside.Â
Repeating to himself- his head was spinning. âJust- just the fuckinâ tip- ngh- sâall you get. Just the tip-â
Jittery legs wrapping around his slender hips, you dig your heels into the base of his spine to hold him hostage. âBut I want more than jusâ the tipââ
Gasping, âOh. Yer killing me, doll-â With a hiss, heâs shoving two bulbous ends of his fingers past your drooling maw to shut you up. And then stuffing your other pair of lips with just a few more solid inches of his ravaging cock, so big.
So thick that the pure circumference makes you want to scream. His fat, strawberry-colored crown wedging sloppily against one of your sweetest spots, âK-killing me- fucking killinâ me-âÂ
Cockdrunken smile on your face, youâre bowing upwards with your lewd pussy to let his veiny shaft pry your walls apart even deeper-
And that makes something inside of him burst. âN-noââ
CRACK!
Tojiâs slamming his open palm down on your wooden headboard enough to make it splinter - dark brows furrowed in restraint, temple beading with sweat, he digs his capped knees into the mattress and drills out a solid, feral thrust.Â
âOh god-â A mistake. Because just one taste of your hot, saccharine pussy and heâs shuddering viscerally, beefy biceps flexing above you as Toji holds onto the bedframe for dear life and attempts to pull back. âNo- no no I-â
Toji snakes his other calloused hand down like he means to guide his bulky hilt back- before thinking better of it and giving your saturated cunt a good spank. Gruffly grouching out, âAny deeper and I wonât be able ta- haaah- pull out.â
As if to prove what heâs babbling out, Tojiâs rolling his v-line back expertly. And your cuntâs rubbed all raw with the ravenous drag of his hips, the way his dark happy trail was massaging your clit.
Itâs just so mean- but if you asked him, heâd have prattled out that you were being meaner with your sopping wet pussy. The way you have the audacity to pout as heâs shallowly driving his fleshy tip inside you, swiping teasingly down your outer cunt with his vein-covered underside.Â
Gritting his teeth, shuddering, trying for all the world not to let a voice crack seep into his meaningful words, âAny deeper and yer getting pregnant, mama.â
âN-nghhh fuckââ Youâre swervinâ your hips restlessly at each clammy slap after slap of his swole pelvis. The way he was just so lengthy, heâs easily probing a good bruise into each of your favorite spots and you can feel your poor body twitch- âMaybe I donât mind.â
âEasy. E-easy there, girl. No talkinâ out of that ngh- pretty pussy, mâkay?â Tojiâs trying to curl his scarred lips up into something that looks like his usual sleazy smirk but you can see through your bleary pupils just how much his maw quivers.
The buttony curve of his thumb glissades down your wet slit, âYou just hafta take it-â Breathless, heâs stuffinâ you like a madman with just his bulging tip. Swabbing your pussylips so-very-open, âHafta take- take it all.â
Oh.
And the big, bad Toji Fushiguro almost falters - almost gasps. That pussydrunk little slip-up making his weepy cock jolt in interest, nâ heâs seeing that hungry look in your eyes and oh-
Sputtering, the repeated thrashes of his length only grow harder as if to fuck the prior few seconds right out of you. A tendon in his neck popping at the swirling circles he was pounding your eyes into, âI mean- fuckâŚI meant take all of my tip, doll, donât-â
âMhmâŚâ Youâre batting your lashes in subtle victory, a primal shrill ripping from your throat at the way Toji then plunges his slick-glazed fingers out of your mouth. âAll of it?â
Rovering straightly down to push on the puffy cylindrical outline of his cock rummaging inside of you, âSh-shut up.â Resting his weight just on your hips to let his bawling tip pinpoint your g-spot, feeling you squeeze-squeeze-squeeze. And fuck- he presses down on that tummy bulge, already knowing he was in trouble. âThisâŚthis is still just the hah- tip.â
âIt is?â
Thumbing apart your puffy lips, smearinâ them with a lecherous sluuurp. Toji canât stop the drawling groan that escapes his mouth as he watches your bawling hole take in even more of him.
âFuck yeah, just the tip. Just- just fourâŚâ And then heâs swiping across your treacly cunt so that he can shove his thick thumb in, fingering your elastic entrance enough to slurp up more of his plumpened cock. âNo- five inches past the tip.â
Youâre thrashing your limp body, âP-please-â His size felt simply heavy between your sheeny thighs, reaching a hand of yours up. âHck! Toji, oh my god youâre-â
Oh, before you know it, before you can even register, heâs lugging up his rude right knee to pin down your wrist onto the dampened mattress. Pulling you to him- âDonât you fucking-â Hard. â-run now.â
And you can hardly even flinch when Tojiâs got you manhandled into such a pliant position, throwing your legs on top of his shoulders to bend doooown as the cherry on top.
A mating press.Â
A mating press that renders your brain stupidly mushy, a throaty hiccup leaving your mouth when you swear youâre feeling the dull thud! of his red, split-ended tip scrape all the way to your cervix. His heavy balls meeting the target of your pussy with a stinging smack, Toji finds himself grinning.Â
Fuck- he doesnât even know how he got here.
Your rickety headboard already shattered, meaty thighs twitching against yours, cock buried balls-deep.Â
And now Tojiâs no longer holding himself back, drawing out a cute lilâ cross on the area just above your womb. Just where his thick, heated cock was throbbing as heâs bottomed-out and still rutting himself deeper and deeper.Â
âX marks the spot now, mama.â
⥠NANAMI KENTO - The overstimulator
âFuck- ngh, fuuuuck, Kento.â Your body thrashes where Nanamiâs fucking his thick, lengthy fingers into your core.Â
Swabbing straight down the textured insides of your pussy, heâs nudginâ your g-spot with his cold, cold wedding ring just to hear your cute moans pitch even higher. Panting, âYouâve got this- haaah- youâve got it. Cum fâme, my love.â
And you can only babble out a few broken sobs in response, bucking through your nth high of the night and feeling your pussy still ache for his cock.
Itâd been a few hours since your husband had come back from a long day at work - stern, rugged. And times like this, you knew it meant that heâd had a stressful day, times like this it meant you were casually slithering your hands to caress the fat, throbbing length between his sculpted legs.Â
Mumbling out needily, âWant- hck! want this, Kento.â
And heâs gasping, heâs heady.Â
Rubbing vertically down the line of your slit with his geysering tip, so wet that itâs letting off such a loud squelch. âBut what if Iâm tooâŚâ Rough. After all, he did have such a looong day today.
âPlease?â
The thin lines of his lips part, âOh, how can I ever say ânoâ to my wife?â Pecking you softly near your temple, but the way that Nanamiâs tannish-red crown twitches where it lay across your thighs told you a wholly different story.
Flipping you over to ride him, heâs easily letting gravity sink in the nub of his cockhead just past your folds, feeling his exerted breath hitch at the way your sappy walls were clenching. âCome on-â Muttering, you blink your hazy vision down just in time for him to hold up a strong, veiny forearm for you. âCome on come on- bite on it, darlinâ let me-â
Fit.
Even if it was just the tip, it was such a tight fit - and Nanamiâs fingerpads drift down to your waist to squeeeeze. Bruising. Ravaging.
The only thing you can do is muffle your whimpers into the heated skin of his arm and take it.Â
Heâs fucking himself into you with a strangled moan, in short, rapid half-thrusts like heâs torturously holding himself back. âJ-just a bit more-â The fatness of his tip squeezes past your hole with a wet plop! and he hisses, âThereâŚthere we go.â
The circumference of his girth lodges between the first ring of your entrance and makes you keenââN-ngh- You can put in some more.âÂ
And Nanami groans like heâs geering up for a thorough thrust - before hunching his heavy body over and waiting. And letting the slippery globe of his cockhead slide-slide-slide across the roof of your pussy, âDo youâŚknow what that would hah-â His cock throbs. â-mean, darling?â
Tantalizingly, youâre wriggling your pretty waist further down, trying to get his glazing tip to scope your deepest innards. âPlease, Kento?â
âFuh-fineâŚâ
âOh?â
âFine- Why donât we ask hah- her first, my loveâŚâ And you swear youâre seeing his lips flap away a thin line of drool, swivelling his blond head up to face your glistening pussy. Lovingly, Nanami glissades his damp thumb down your slope and coosââHow about it- think you can take-â Another coo, another rut- â-it all?â
âFuh-fuck! Yes-â
But itâs not you heâs answering to - itâs the lecherous, loud slurp that emanates straight from your cunt.Â
Nose crinkling in amusement, âDonât talk to me in ngh- that tone. Sâgonna make me want toâŚâ
And you donât have to beg for the tail end of that sentence - because Nanamiâs planting his feet firmly flat on the surface of your bed and giving you a solid drilling.Â
âFuck.â Lengthy shaft grazing your insides, Nanami feels the way your gushing pussy clamps down on him and itâs enough to make him shudder. To make him furrow his brows, breath evaporating, tensing his core- âToâŚmoreâŚâ Deep baritone now so airy that you can barely even make out what heâs prattling-
âYes-â Your head spins at the complete nâ utter stretch of having him sensually probe your cunt open, hips turning in a lewd figure-eight. âYes yes yes yes- just like that-â
âIf you want it all then you fucking beg for it.â
Was this really your gentle, endearing husband?Â
You canât even fathom the sensual man thatâs clinging onto a good chunk of your left ass cheek, using his practised strength to tug you right down onto his cock.
To take control after each spank of his hips- âBetter learn how to ask n-nicely-â Heâs spitting at your cunt now, tone reaching octaves higher. Shattering. âCouldnât stop thinking about this pussy all fucking day and- ngh! and I tried to be nice. Tried to make it easy, my love, but you make me soooâŚâ
âS-so wh- fuck!â
Youâre cut off with a sudden, slamming crash of his v-line against your thighs- so sudden, so rough that it makes him gasp, too.Â
Eyeing the way heâd left his own clammy skin all red and raw with friction, the way the melty insides of your pussy felt bruised all âround his size. âFuck- didnât mean to-â And heâs motioning himself to pull out, but the only thing heâs doing is sloppily draaagging his cock down the lining of your pussy and making himself buck.
Battling against his senses.Â
Pounding up and up and up-
âW-wasnât supposed to go in this deep- oh-â Groaning at the sight of your slick-glazed folds slipping nâ sliding down his pulsating length. âWas supposed to be just- just the tip-â Nanami pushes his foggy glasses further up his handsome nose bridge for a much better look. Scrambling, âWas supposed to hold back andâŚâ
At his trailing off, youâre forcing your voice out evenly. Gripping purchase onto his broad shoulders, âAre you okay, Kenâ?â
âOf course, my love, Iâm fine- Iâm-â And yet, the only thing he can do is let his mouth hang filthily ajar as he perks his hips off the mattress to give your cunt one good pummel.Â
All the way from tip to base this time. Until heâs buried oh-so-deeply inside of your wet pussy that itâs making you drool, that itâs making you whine, making the back of your throat sting with sobs at the sheer raw stretch.Â
And he groans, âMâsoooo not fucking okay, my love.â Molted gaze dead locked on you- âAnd you wonât be either after this.â
⥠GETO SUGURU - The mean.
The silver, studded circle of Getoâs tongue piercing draaaags sloppily down your cheek. Lapping up every salty bead of tears you were cryinâ out, âWhy- please. Want more, Suguruââ
âMore?â His raven lashes flutter in faux shock, and itâs so-very-agonizing once heâs tugging his teasing cock out of your hole even further.Â
Just enough that heâs stirrinâ your entrance with the line of his slit, pumping in a lazy back and forth. âYou want more here, gorgeous?â Heâs panting, licking up the glittering ribbons of saliva that fall out of you with each scrape across the roof of your pussy. âOr here? Orrrââ Each lecherous motion. Making such a big show of twisting his free thumb down to press on your clit, â-here?â
âN-noooââ Mewling, your mouth drops into the cutest pout as youâre bucking your hips up. Trying to close your trembly legs over his muscular hips, âI want you here.â
âWhere?â
Youâre damn near sobbing, âHere- oh, fuck!â
âOh no, I lost track-â The rosy fringes of his mouth quirk up into such a mean smile- and before you know it, Getoâs pushing you into a pliable mating press nâ fucking you with just the pretty, red-hot crown of his tip.
Over and over.Â
Grabbing onto your tits with one hand, pinning your hips down with the other. Grumbling, âSeems this ngh- cute cunt had me a littleâŚdistracted, gorgeous. Where? Say that alllll over again where you want me?â
You feel your ragged throat rip out with a desperate cry - a plea.Â
His steaming hot cock was only twitching with each cockdrunken blabber you could let out. Rovering your insides with direct hits just below where your sweet spots were, Geto leaves you wanting more without even trying.
And the only thing you can do is tug on his broad shoulders with the heels of your feet, just begging for him to go deeper than just drilling into you with his thick, mushroomy tip.
âHm? âThickâ, is it?â Fuck- only too-late are you realizing that youâve babbled that out loud. Driven crazy by the mouth-watering gyration of his cockhead burrowing between your folds. Stirrinâ you all over.Â
Geto leans over until his inky hair forms a curtain around you two, mouth prattling away with the smuggest smirk permanently plastered across his maw. âIf itâs soooo thick I wonder how youâre gonna- hah- take it then.âÂ
âI-I will-â
âNot you, gorgeous.â He wasnât even talking to you. Heâs talking to your puffy, pert pussy - letting your cunt paint such a mess of slick drivelling all over his length. âWonder if she would- hah- fit- let me see-â Making an even bigger mess just by snaking down one hand to smear open your folds with his ringed fingers. âOpen up wide, say âahâââ
Almost on cue, your oversaturated cunt lets out the most filthy squeeelch by the time heâs fitting in his lengthy middle finger, the chilling band of his ring pushinâ deftly against your walls.Â
âHmpf- thaâs more than an âahâ.â Geto titters from above you, and the way heâs stroking your elastic entrance open is just so mean. Deliberately scouring for where his plummy tip was hitting you in hard strikes, swabbing you into each nâ every spot to open you wiiiide open for his cock.
âSh-shit-â Youâre gasping, eyesight shattering with a few more of your pearly tears. âYouâre actually going past the- ngh- tip, Sugu?â
Gruffly, âWanâ me to pull out, gorgeousâ?â
âN-no!â
âThought it was about time to reward my hah- good girl.â Heâs spitting out smoothly - but you can feel the way that Getoâs heavy cock was flinching with each rovering inch youâre swallowing up.
The way his high cheekbones flushed with a stain of rouge, the way heâs gritting his ivory white teeth and rutting. Like he canât even hold himself back the way he wanted to.Â
Like he canât stop himself from gluing a thigh to the side of your hips and lifting his weight to push down on top of yours.
To pin you down. To make sure that his prolonged, throbbing length reaches spots oh-so-deep. Getoâs plunging the weepy divot of his shaft straight into your g-spot and thereâs nothing you can do about it but sing out a few whinesââThere- there- sâwhat you were begging for, right?â
And heâs doing this because your needy pussy had been asking for it. Heâs doing this because of you - and not because of the way his cock ached every split-second he wasnât inside you.Â
No- definitely not because heâs shuddering. Panting.Â
Dampened voice almost breaking with a whimper once your gooey wet walls clamp down âround him, âRiiight?â He drawls out, sounding almost maddened, way past âjust the tip��� right now.Â
âY-yes- ngh, yes.â You hiccup out after every slash of his swabbing cockhead splitting your insides, he was just so long that the rigid length of his cock damn near reaches your lungs. Tugging him close with a hand on Getoâs firm chest. âB-but I wantâŚâ
âWhat?â
You blink your teary lashes up at him in a way thatâs devastating, âWant it inside inside, too, Sugu.â
Oh.
Oh.
Inside inside - you wanted him to stuff you so full your poor hole couldnât even remember what it felt like without him dripping out of you.Â
You were going to be the fucking death of him. Geto could feel it.
Geto knew it - âjustâ the tip his ass - heâs hunching over your restless body with an animalistic growl. Bottomed-out so deeply that the nub of his shaft digs into your cervix, his balls thwacking against your cunt, pre pouring out in a froth.
So hot nâ wet- itâs making his amethyst irises flash with the carnal desire for your sopping wet pussy to be filled up with something else.Â
âOh.â Pumping his ringed index inside with a wettened noise, Geto fills the corners of his lips twitch in sensual amusement as he watches the glaze drip off of him. Snaking it up to lick off every ounce of your beaded sheen of slick, âSay âahâ then, gorgeous.â
⥠CHOSO KAMO - âP-pussydrunk-â
Itâs the first thing thatâs slipping out of Chosoâs mouth the very second he finds his red, bulging tip poking through your puffy pussylips.Â
Dark chocolate eyes flashing with a thin sheen of tears, âI-Iâm so pussydrunk-â Heâs admitting to you out loud, head throwing backwards once heâs softly bucking his toned hips back nâ forth. âHow am I- nghhh- pussydrunk already, baby?â
âMmâ I dunno, Cho.â A rhetorical question, but youâre answering anyway - mainly because the mere sound of your voice is enough to make your boyfriendâs aching cock twitch deliciously inside of you. âSâjust the tip, too, right?â
Panting breathlessly, âYeah- yeah, just theâŚâ
âTipâ?â
âFuck! But just donât say it like that-â Keening out in a ragged voice that makes him sound devastated. Ruined. âIt makes it so, so hard to keep my hah- promise.â
Ah, yes - the promise that it would be just the tip.
Youâd already found it so cute when heâd admitted that for his first time, all the way up to the tip was the only thing that heâd be able to handle. And you were more than happy to let Chosoâs blushinâ cockhead shyly scrape past your hole, just tasting the saccharine feeling of your pussy.Â
But right now he was thumping his hips up into yours like he was anything but shy.
Like he was trying to mold himself to the rubbery texture of your sweet, sweet cunt. Over nâ over nâ over in stirring motions that slip his crowned shaft further past your fluttering entrance.Â
Youâre gasping out a few slurring slews of swears at the fleshy rub of his flared ridge, scouring in easily even deeper- âCho! Baby, what happened to just the tip?â
âO-oh right.â Dark brows furrowing in concentration, he pokes his tongue between his teeth and tries to get his hips back into his steady, rhythmic cadence. Back to âjustâ the tip beinâ swallowed up by you whole- âThere. There, is that-â
And it was just as he promised - for all of six strokes before Chosoâs plumped tip finds itself wedging back down your walls. âChoso.â
âSânot my ngh- fault, baby.â Heâs whining out, grabbing onto one side of your ass cheeks to pin you close to him. And Choso was just so inhumanly strong that he was treatinâ you like his own personal doll, âNot when you say my name like thatâŚâ
Meaningfully, the apples of Chosoâs cheeks scorch with a bright blush. Continuing to whisper out like his life depended on it, âAnd not when youâre just so, so preeetty.â Arching his slender hips in a slooow, aching swivel to reach a spot deepest inside of you, heâs feeling the way your gushing walls clench and itâs making his mahogany irises well up with tears. âA-and when youâre this- ngh- wet-â
âAre you blaming me, Cho?â Youâre teasing- only to have your big, strong boyfriend whimper.Â
âNo-â And the precise moment your hips buck into his, heâs grabbing ahold of you - clawing down the sides of your restless body, crushing your front to his washboard abs. âNo no no-âÂ
Chosoâs stopping your non-existent escape in an instant, pulling you back with an uncharacteristically mean hand at your throat. Just so pretty when heâs needy like this - temple trailing with a thin line of sweat, vision narrowed at you, rosy mouth babbling. âNever blaming you- never- fuck- I actually-â The tips of his ears flame oh-so-red, â-like itâŚwet.â
âO-oh.â
And heâs fucking into you like an animal - like he canât even remember that pretty pink line of his tip he was supposed to stop at.Â
Honestly- if you asked Choso right now, his fuzzy mind genuinely wouldnât have been able to remember.
âMâgoing in past the tip.â Your boyfriend puffs out, eyes widening cutely once his stupidly melted brain realizes. âIâm going in past it- ngh- a-actually reaching your pretty womb, babyââ
The only thing on his mind right now being the way your squelching cunt kissed his tender cock, the way heâs able to pry apart your walls and glue his bawling crown somewhere near the back of your cunt. âY-you feel this, baby?â
And you donât know whether he means the squeeze of his ringed fingers claiming your throat, or the feeling of his damn cock. âWhat do youââ
Or the way he nuzzles his tight, aching balls up against your sheeny inner-thighs, âFeel how badly I want you-â Strangling out a few moans, Choso thwacks his ridged cockhead against your g-spot and watches you squirm. âHow hard I am, ngh-â And watches your velvety walls gush out in pearly beads of slick to surround his hilt, to make it easier for him to hike up a thigh and push himself even more, more, more. âHow deep mâstuck inside? You hafta take hah- responsibility, okay?â
âR-responsibility?â
And Chosoâs just so pussydrunk that heâs slobbering all down into the crook of your neck, manhandling your knees up until theyâre striking your tits.
Ears oh-so-popped that heâs barely even registering your question - only the deep, dull thud! of his plump mushroom tip being lodged into the base of your cunt And then Choso sees white-
âOh, sâdripping out of you.â Heâs muttering to himself, all that dripping hot mess of his cum. Cumming - just from bottoming out. Line of sight sparking with ivory-hot pleasure, Chosoâs voice shatters. âO-oh, mâcumming inside. Really, really inside?â
As if to make sure, you can only watch in sinful awe once heâs scooping up a generous layer of the frothy sap covering your cunt. Seemingly about to stuff his seed back in- before thinking better of it and thumbing out a swoopy âCâ between your swollen folds.Â
Heâs tittering to himself as the creamy layer smears across and perfectly outlines his initial.Â
You canât help but gasp, boneless thighs quaking with each splattering wad of cum that knotted up your insides. ââCâ? What doesâŚâÂ
Oh, but it wasnât just a âC.â
With a dopey grin, Choso draws out a lingering âHâ then an âOâ, âSâ- before firmly pushinâ down on the button of your clit as he finishes off the final âO.â
âSâmine now, baby. And mâfuh-fucking pussydrunk.â Thereâs something so dark seeping into his tone that makes goosebumps skitter across your spent body.Â
And Choso Kamo stares at you dead-on, mouth salivating with each speckle of cum he feels spill out of you until he looked feral. Looked ruined once his hips are pulling back for a mean thrust, âSo donât blame me for whatever happens.â
⥠RYOMEN SUKUNA - The biiig stretch(es)
All three realms would quake the day that Ryomen Sukuna was caught off-guard by something - anything. As if there was a single person in existence that could- oh, fuck, he can feel his hands tremble where theyâre sliding down the insides of your sheeny thighs.
Laying you out across his chiselled front in a full nelson, it felt like the room itself was spinning.
And the way youâre grindinâ yourself back down cutely onto his matching, bulbous tips makes the king bite back a gruff snicker. âAww, look at those pretty human thighs shaking so much. Heh- think yer gonna swallow me whole before ya even know it.â
Youâre whimpering, feeling the points of his dark black nails dig against the flesh of your legs. Heâs stuffed you so full that it takes you a second to catch your breath from the sheer stretch, âI- I can-â
THWACK!
The only thing youâre getting is the mean swat of one of his hands slamming down onto your teary slope. Sukunaâs voice booming, âNooo ya fucking canât. Youâre getting just the tips tonight, mama.â
âB-but Kuna-â
âB-b-but-â Another spank, and another teasing glide of his veiny lengths. Just enough past his swabbing cockheads to give you a mere taste of his veiny shafts, but not enough to satiate your drivelling, needy core.Â
There was something so addictive about the way that Sukuna could doubly pry your walls open, and the idea of his thick veins massaging your insides made your mouth water.Â
Something his multiple crimson eyes takes lecherous note of, a brow raising priggishly. âSee?â And you donât know what he even meant until a second of Sukunaâs clammy palms knocks your ajar mouth closed, holding back the slippery wads of spit from escaping. âTch- canât even keep spit inside- how are ya gonna take both my cocks, brat?â
âI can.â Perking your back into a perfect curve, Sukuna himself has to bite back a groooan once heâs bucking up into you. The mouth on his stomach salivating at the way your ass cheeks jiggle against his pelvis-
Deeper.
âWanâ more-â
âYou think you deserve more?â
And itâs not that he thinks you canât handle it - well, maybe he didnât want to split your poor pussy open so early in the night - but it was just so fun teasing you.Â
To watch the way your hazy eyes fluttered with tears, mouth falling into a cutesy pout. âBut I want itâŚâ
So irresistible that Sukuna canât help but lurch his monstrous head over and plant a wad of spit straight between your kiss-swollen lips. âThere.â Then finally your cunt. âThere. See if you can keep that inside, mama.â
And before you can complain, heâs pumping out every remaining gust of air left in your lungs with a loooong drag of his twin cocks. Just once. Before meanly keeping it there, letting the fat circumferences of his tips throb-throb-throb against your cervix. âHappyâ?â
With a stubborn mewl, youâre trekking your hands up to clasp onto his tattooed thighs below you. Nails digging into his clammy flesh as youâre trying to bounce your exerted hips backwards- âMore.â
âSpoiled brat.â
And if this was anyone else - for anything else - the king would have made a fresh example for all to see what happens when one doesnât follow his orders.Â
But this was you. And the more youâre trying to suck his solid, swollen inches up, the more heâs feeling a restless sort of instinct take over him. The more heâs feelingâŚferal.Â
Pre spurting out enough to drench your weepy slope, âFine. Fuck.â One of his hands wraps around your throat, the other latches onto one side of your hips. Two more spread your trembly thighs widely agape- and before you can register a thing, before you can even breathe, Sukuna has his bulging cocks sinking inside your hole in one, fluid motion. âFine.â
Hard.Â
Rough.
Repeatedly.Â
Itâs so much. Enough to make you throw your lolling head back into his collarbones and squeal as you cum- mouth blabbing constantly, âIâm cumming- c-cumming? Ngh- Kuna-â
âDonât even know when youâre cumming.â Heâs rolling his eyes. All the while youâre just bucking and whining at the peaks of your high. âTraining firstâŚh-heh. Canât blame me fer biiig stretch when ya asked for it- can you even say it? âBiiig stretch?ââÂ
âB-bigââ Youâre seeing an utter white flash behind your closed eyelids, thighs twitching each time the lines of his veins aligned with your g-spot. âBig- nghhh stretch-â
âHm, close enough, heh.â
Slow. Agonizing.
If you wanted more than just his tips, then you were going to get it.Â
But at his pace first - one that left your eyes pathetically criss-crossing with each lazy intrusion. That left your waist squirming for more, and Sukunaâs teeth gritting with the utter sensation of your velvety walls tugginâ down on him.
Trying to milk him dry-
âM-milk youâ?â Youâre blinking up at him with those pretty, pretty eyes, and he swears he can feel your saccharinely wet pussy only grow wetter at those words slipping out.Â
So gone on the feeling of your cunt that he didnât realize they were slipping out. Sukunaâs eyes widen, breath hitched nâ rawââWellâŚâ
If anyone else could see the soundless, almost shy Ryomen Sukuna right now then theyâd simply drop into a faint.Â
Because you swear the pointed tips of his ears were slowly staining red, the slimy edges of his second mouth sleazily grinning behind you. Rovering the tip of his massive tongue down to glissade down your slit.Â
And somewhere near the base of your treacly cunt, the curve of his heavy balls twitch-
Sukunaâs picking up the speed of his vulgar strokes, just so your fuzzy mind wonât hear the crack in his deep baritone. âIf ya donât milk me dry then mâbanishing you, mama.â
⥠INO TAKUMA - The ruined
âF-fuck- mmm, Taku-â
âWhat was that?â The breathy tone of Inoâs voice fans across your features - right where heâs keeping his forehead plastered to yours, lips pulled back into a feral grin. Voice octaves higher- âWhat was thaaat?â
And heâs rubbinâ the roughened end of one thumb between your pussy folds, trying to get you to let off those pretty noises once more.
But fuck-Â
Fuck.Â
The only thing heâs managing to do is make you throw your head back and clench your sloppy cunt âround his pinkish girth. âFuck- oh.â The dewy wet walls of your channel are squeezing him so tight that heâs the one who whimpers out in needââF-feels so good.â
Rovering the globular crown of his shaft to knock against your pussy repeatedly, Ino swipes a buttery line of pre down the sides of your walls and moans once he feels you overspilling with slick.
The measurement of his puffy length so long that your folds struggle to take him all in, âAwww, sweetness, look at you.â Grinning, âLook so pretty takinâ just my hah- tip.â
He squeezes the pulpy top of your clit, tawny bangs falling over those greedy eyes of his. Heâs locked his dilated pupils on you, and the way that Ino was pounding you into the mattress was restless.
Short, jerky thrusts of his hips - heâs so messy with it, just barely teasing your hole with the fatness of his girth on one stroke, pushing all the way past his tip in the next-
âJust the tip, remember?â Huffing out a slight cloud of laughter at the crestfallen look on his face, youâre echoing his own words from just before.Â
And Ino feels his cock twitch animalistically inside of you at the mention of those very words, âF-fine.â Grumbling, as if he wasnât the one that decided he wanted to agonize your poor pussy tonight. With aching, shallow strokes that rub the flare of his ridge against your hole. âJust the tip- just the- oh, fuck.â
âDidnât do anythingââ Youâre keening out, knowing fully that the slight grinding gyrations of your hips were enough to drive Ino mad.Â
His half-lidded eyes follow the movements of your waist in circles. âS-stop squirming.â And before you know it, heâs got a hand clinging to your neck. Blocking off your breezy airway, he holds you still and wedges the plumpness of his tip inside your cunt, sensually. âYou know what youâre doing, pretty.â
âFuck- nghhh-â You find yourself bawling out, lips twitching into a smile despite yourself at just how hypnotized your beloved boyfriend was. âBut youâre the one putting it- ngh- even more.â
âTh-thatâs notâŚâ Ino flushes, and instead of answering directly heâs planting a wet thwack! of his cockhead to glue against the tender insides near your g-spot.
Youâre feeling the calloused end of his thumb smear apart your bloated folds and the friction was incredible. As if to confirm for himself, he swipes away the mess on top of your slope to watch how your hole quivers with each slip nâ slide of his tip.
Torturing himself just as much as he planned to torture you.Â
Just about to prattle something pussydrunken - maybe how it was actually your pussy thatâs making him stuff in even more of his cock. Maybe how you were actually begging him-
But no. Oh, Ino sees the pornographic struggle of your tight rim aching to swallow him all up and gasps.Â
Instantly jolting his head up as if heâd just been electrocuted, instantly clawing at the matted strands of his hair before realizing that he didnât have his ski mask on to hide away.Â
To stop himself from looking down again nâ again. To stop himself from replaying that exact scene inside his melted mind as heâs mindlessly pushing you into a mating press, âO-ohâŚjust let me-â Swallowing, Inoâs words ring hollow even to his own ears. âLet me justâŚâ
Trailing off, the only thing you can do is yelp at the complete nâ utter stretch.
The way he was ruining you on his sopping wet cock, mazing in the point of his tip until he presses a firm smooch to your g-spot. Your cervix. âOh my god- mm-â You tilt your head up in amusement, squeezing his throbbing cock on purpose. âWhaâs that about just the ngh- tip, Taku?â
âYeah, about thatââ With a slight pout, Ino stares you dead in the eyes as heâs scouring his mushy cockhead past your hole. Letting that circular lilâ divot press deep, deep, deep- âForget I ever said that, sweetness.â
Youâre cracking a smug grin, mouth opening to gloat-
SMACK!
Before weak, trembling fingerpads harshly slap the side of your waist, âT-tch youâve already got me- ngh- ruined- what more could you want?â Sleek brows furrowed, heâs looking at you like heâs begging. âAnd mânot losing it- Iâm justâŚjustââ
Just wrenching off the hand holding your throat to guide your own hand, of course - right up to squeeze his own neck. To make you choke him.Â
Ino gnaws down on his plump lower lip to keep himself from whimpering once heâs letting his cock wreak havoc on your cute innards. Scouring and scouring deeply, just smushing the velvety end of his pre-glazed tip on your cervix.
Safe nâ sound. All snugly inside.
He babbles, âDâyou want me to beg, pretty?â
⥠GOJO SATORU - The Strongest.
âCâmon- again.â Gojoâs raspy tone trembles, gnawing down sensually on the shell of your ear from behind. âAgain. Promise itâll be just the tip this time. Just the- haaah-â
And he canât even finish his sentence - doesnât have the ability to. The sanity.
The patience to just sit there and fuck you with the curve of his mushroomy tip- to not just pump nâ pump out masterful strokes that have your silvery slit splattering out in ribbons of white.Â
To him, it wasnât enough. It would never be enough.
His large, bulbous tip twitches where heâs taking you in a mean doggy position - throwing his fuzzy head back with a moan the very second he feels sappy ivory cum slip down into a frothy ring âround his hilt, âI said mâsorry, sweetheart. This time I ngh- promise sâjust the tip.â
âB-but you said that ngh- four rounds ago.â Youâre whimpering into your splotchy pillow, saliva seeping from your maw like an open faucet.Â
Gojo rounds his lengthy fingertips down past your soaked panties and feels the leaky line of your slit, âBut my sweetheart.â Cooing, every tiny pummel of his cockhead had your toes curling in pleasure, hands fisting at your damp sheets. âMy girl. My wife-â
The cum-glazed fingers of his fingerpads break off from your pussy with a squelch, instantly being pushed between his plump lips.Â
And Gojo doesnât feel even an ounce of hesitation as he suuuucksâtasting himself, tasting you. The wet pants of his breath are sweltering down your arched back, âMmâ the love of my life.â
He was just gone.
Six Eyes working overtime without him even realizing- heâs seeing the sparks of arousal that light your veins and lets himself grin. Giving your treacly cunt another easy slide of his shaft, âDoes that mean I can stuff ya nghh- full again, my girl?â
Your husband swabs the rubbery insides of your pussy with his probing cock, and he was just so thickly swollen that the circumference of his tip leaves your walls damn near indented.Â
Knees shaking weakly on top of your creaky bedsprings- âI-I didnât say that, Satoru-â He almost flinches at your words, before the mere sound of your voice makes the bawling orifice on top of his length splurge out pre. Bucking your hips gingerly backwards, âYou wonât ngh- keep it just the tip I know it.â
âBut sweetheartââ Your cunt was still so sensitive, and just the slightest graze of his prominent veins leaves your lips all wobbly. âThis pretty pussyâs just haaah- beeegging fâme. Look at her-â Your head perks up in shock at the sound of Gojo Satoru giggling, âLook-â
At the sound of him smiling dopily, letting his ravenous cock fuck your hole open until you were stupid.Â
Heâs relentless - just lingering, sloppy slashes of his hot tip protruding your wet insides. And juuuust when he could see your brows furrowing, mouth falling into a cute pout at the realization that he was way past the tip- heâs pulling back.
âWh-whoops.â Gojo flicks his dexterous index down to toy with your poor clit, tutting. âNaughty girl, oh- youâre sucking me in past the tip.â
Youâre grumbling, âM-me?â
âNot you, my sweetheartâŚâ The way his thumb rubs your pussylips open is enough to make you see stars, and Gojo pushes his fleshy thighs up against yours. â-mâtalking to her.â The perfect excuse- heâs lecturing your dripping wet pussy, reeling your cute hips back until the slope of his cockhead nuzzles allll the way near your g-spot. âTch, how daaaare you take in more than the- ngh- tip, h-heh.â
And you swear youâre feeling Gojoâs reddened skin buzz with slight cursed energy as he laughs at his own joke.Â
âYouâre doing it, sweetheart, y-youâŚâ Trailing off, your entire body feels like itâs been shocked in the most sinful way as Gojo thumps his strawberry divot on the target of your favorite spot.
And soon enough, he canât even bring himself to tease you.
Soon enough, heâs incredibly past the pinkish line of his slit marking the end of his tip. With the veiny underside of Gojoâs shaft stuffed deeply between your folds, again nâ again he spanks your g-spot wetly.Â
Youâre shivering, mentally counting that heâs now nearly bottomed-outâso fully that the cobwebs of his cum from hours prior splosh around inside of you. âT-Toruâ oh!â
Only for your plea to be cut off, for your entire body to hit back against his toned pelvis with a resounding pap! Heâd hauled you backwards by the flimsy fabric of your panties and it was making you moan, âSay that again-â
âWh-what?â
âSay it.â Repeating, Gojoâs now fucking you like he hated you. Like he couldnât stand a single split-second that your perfect pussy wasnât filled up by him. Licking up the droplets of tears that trickle down your cheeks, âSay it again- ngh- say- fuck.â
The bottom of your stomach stinging with that familar twitch, you find yourself shrilling out- âToru- fuck fuck fuck- Toru, IâmâŚâ
Close.
But he could already tell.
His Six Eyes already knew- and he wasnât even trying to activate that gift of his. Barely even has to to feel the squelching squeeze of your sappy pussy, the way youâre jolting after each forceful thwack! of his cock pummeling into your ready cunt.
Gojoâs fingertips pinch âround your cutely swollen clit, and he finds himself drawing his fucking name right on top. A nice, neat S-A-T-O-R-U that makes your head spin, âYâknow who my- faaaaat- fuckinâ cock belongs to, sweetheart?â
You babbleââWh-what?â
But Gojo doesnât mind that you didnât answer, he doesnât mind - he barely even registers it. So far gone that heâs nodding along to the lewd slurps and squelches given off by your treacly cunt, âYou.â Chuckling, hitching, ruttingââYou you you- all yours.âÂ
The sculptured lines of the strongestsâ hip bones pull back ever-so-slightly- only to come pressurizing back with a final, hard drilling thrust. âSo it only makes sense that youâre gonna take it allll, right~?â
Every inch, and every splattering wad of cum heâs emptying out.
Youâre hit with the waves of your own high, legs giving out underneath you until Gojo wraps an arm underneath your front and pulls you up. Plastering you against the slick, glissading curves of his abs- âFuck- fuck fuck fuck- nghhh- mâcumming.â
âI know.â
Clawing down the clammy flesh of his forearms, your head lolls back against Gojoâs collarbone with every squirt of frothy white cum he was stuffinâ into you. Eyeing down those cute lilâ beads of sap that glue your inner thighs together, âA-and youâre in so deep- fuck, Toru!â
âI know- heh.â
Gojo made sure to pound you through every single peak of your high, right where it made your body erupt in the most bliss- as if he had a sixth sense.
And heâs making sure to let the sticky ring of slick nâ seed drench his happy trail, cock fucking those thick dollops of cum inside until youâre seeing white. Until you can feel nothing but the way his bulging tip reaches up to your cervix and throbsââPromise itâll be heh- just the tip this time, my girl.â
⥠HIGURUMA HIROMI - The lawyer?!
âJust the tip hck! remember?â
âYou say just the tip butâŚâ Your husband tilts his head down at you with the most lecherous grin, fat thumb lazing between your pussylips to spread your hole wiiide open for him. His other hand was busy still tugging off his work tie, barely home from the office and hungry. â-this pretty pussyâs saying otherwise, angelââ
And oh- he was right.Â
But Higuruma had been working overtime for months just for an upcoming trial early tomorrow, and you knew if you let him slip in anything past the tip then it would end in another type of all-nighter.
Youâre softly smacking his broad deltoid, and heâs only lifting your flimsy nightgown with a chuckle. âAh ah- donât shoot the messenger now. Mâjust hear to do as my wife asks, sugar.â
Easily slap-slap-slapping his red, bulbous tip to slip nâ slide past your first ring of muscle. Higuruma croons at the way your legs fall instantly open for him once his throbbing cock siiinks in, enveloping his bulged tip.Â
The sensation is enough to make his stern lips fall open with a sighââAnd right now- fuck- sheâs telling me she wants a lilâ more.â
Filling you up with just a few inches up to his ridged crown, the line of his slit scrapes the roof of your pussy and you have to force yourself to speak over the loud sluuurp. âI-Iâm not falling for that- ngh, Hiromi.â
And oh- that makes him pant.
That makes him shudder, that makes his jaw tick with a slightly feral twitch. Squeezing in the slimy end of his hot cock until youâre seeing stars, âOh- say that again, angel.â
âHiro-â
âLouder.â
âHiromi.â
And that makes him dig his knees deeper into the springy mattress and rut-
âFuh-fuck.â Like some fucking animal. Heâs gritting through snarled teeth, that bitter sting the only thing keeping him from fully plunging his rotund crown inside of you and fucking you stupid already.
Higuruma throws his head back, usually-groomed raven locks falling over his line of sight. Heâs as unruly as he can be and fucking you just as much, letting the curve of his tip thump and thump your walls repeatedly.Â
âYeah- yeahhh there we go.â Youâre flinching once you feel the knobbly pads of his fingers reach for your pulsing clit and pinch. Mean. Tugging. Letting you scream yourself hoarse every time his pre-glazed tip juuust skids down your walls, âBetter say my name hah- louder, sugar- canât hear you over that cute cunt begging for more.â
Youâre whining, âNgh- f-fuck youââ
âYou are, my wife.â
And itâs just agonizing - Higuruma knew how to time his jackhammers just right so that heâs never fully scraping your textured g-spot. Never fully past his drooling slit - and it was driving you wild.Â
Driving your hips upwards with two hands thrown âround his clammy neck, your fingers disappear into the depths of his dark tresses and make him sigh. With you mewling, âNâ what if I hck-â Fuck, heâs swervinâ his creamy cock over to slash oh-so-close against your g-spot. Making your lips wobble prettily, â-what if I said I wanted more now?â
Fuck.
A killshot - enough to make the bottom of your pussy seep through with a gooey pool of his precum.Â
And Higuruma likes to think heâs all sensible, he likes to think he can handle it- until his damn baritone voice cracks just as soon as heâs trying to sound stern for you. âM-maybe I wonât listen then- since you haaaah- wanted just the tip so badly. Wonât give you the rest of my cock until youâre acting proper, angel.â
âReally, Hiroâ?â
âN-no.â
So gone on your pussy that the lawyer canât help but tell you the truth.Â
Oh, youâve broken him.
And the only thing that tough, uptight Higuruma Hiromi can do is wedge his feet into your ancient bedsprings and slam a mean kiss against your cervix.Â
The spheroid of his cockhead slaps the base of your pussy, and his palm slaps the top. âYou-â Talking to your fucking pussy, â-just like her, sweet thing. Gonna make me fuckingâlose it.â Youâre speechless with utter cockdrunken need whilst Higuruma pounds away his honed inches.
No rhythm. No method. Maddened.Â
Targeting the thrumming area of your g-spot, slipping in a zig-zagging line straight down to strike the door to your womb.
Feeling so good that his flinching orifice splurts out a few beads of heated white- cumming early, just from how long youâd been teasing him with that damned âjust the tip.â
âFuck-â Your hips buck upwards to chase what youâve been yearning for for so long, thighs shaky with every needy web of seed slithering between your pussylips. âYes- right there mm, feels so fucking full, Hiroââ
âYeah? This what you wanted for so long, sugarâ?â Cooing, Higuruma gives your slick-glossed cunt another sweet spank to get you squelching from between your legs once more. Just flooding the sticky sheets with all your sap every time heâs planting such sloppy drags of his cock, just so hot. So stuffed. The creamy knots of his cum stick to your thighs like adhesive, âIf you wanted me to fuck you stupid so- hah- so badly then you shouldâve just asked, yâknow?â
Blubbering through your tears of bliss, you whimper once heâs catching your lips in a ravenous kiss. âB-but you have that trail so early in the morning tomorrow nâ you need ngh- sleep.â
âWell then-â Ah, his grin answering is feralâ and you suddenly get the feeling that you wonât be making it to tomorrow walking - or alive. â-better cum fâme eight times before tomorrow morning, angel.â
A/N. CUZ YA KILLINâ IT GIRL-
Plagiarism not authorized.
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The Trump administrationâs decision to publicize something like Alligator Alcatraz is not just a useful weapon that they can now threaten their enemies â and Elon Musk â with. Itâs also a distinctly new form of propaganda. Something they seem to have picked up from the video tours of Centro de Confinamiento del Terrorismo (CECOT) in El Salvador. The concentration camp reimagined as a hype house. A place to make content, both real and AI-generated, that glorifies the power of the state. What Democratic super-poster Will Stancil described this week as âpornography for Trump's sadistic base.â But also content that desensitizes you. That normalizes state violence and, most importantly, turns it into a meme. Trumpâs administration knows that most effective propaganda of the 21st century is viral, ephemeral, and, crucially, stupid. Something CNN hosts can joke about on air, distracted by how idiotic the name is. How goofy the T-shirts are. Completely removed from the human misery happening behind closed doors.
Trump's big, beautiful gulag
This is what Republicans voted for. This is what they wanted.Â
Donât let anyone tell you they didnât vote for this, they actually voted for [low taxes | strong defense | the party | the price of eggs| some other bullshit], and now they are horrified. They never wanted masked thugs to terrorize and kidnap an innocent mother while her children watch. They never wanted masked vigilantes to terrorize entire communities and beat fathers bloody in front of their families.Â
They never wanted any of this, they tell us, and maybe they didnât want it, but he promised it, and his base held up signs celebrating it. He promised to inflict this terror and this sadistic cruelty on as many people as he could, and that even if they say they didnât want this to happen, his repeated promises to do exactly this certainly werenât enough to stop them from voting for him.
So many people who voted for him like to pretend that they arenât Nazis; itâs the MAGA extremists who are the Nazis. Itâs not this guy who lives in the middle-class suburb! This guy goes to church and takes his kids to soccer practice! He was appalled by January 6 (though heâs rewritten almost all of it in his head into something less violent). He doesnât support those MAGA people; in fact, heâs embarrassed by them!
Deep breath. Okay. Hey, buddy, I have some news: there is no difference between you and them. Youâre just as deplorable, and you do not get to pretend you didnât vote for this like they did. You may dress nice and check all the âgood neighborâ boxes, just like a lot of Germans did in the 1930s, but you donât fool me.
Whatever justification you invented to feel good about what you did, doesnât matter. Itâs the result of your vote that matters, and you voted for terror, suffering, and incompetent malevolence aimed at the heart of our Constitution.
I will never forget this. I will never forgive you for the suffering you enabled.Â
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older â nam-gyu, squid game.
during keys and knives, nam-gyu takes the opportunity to chase after his noona to show her just how much he missed her, using the magic word to get everything he wants. cws: nsfuu, yandere!nam-gyu, dubcon smut with plot, high nam-gyu (mention of drugs), fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), auralism, begging knk, mentions of knives and murder. proceed with warning! a/n: one dirty little secret of mine is that i'm so in love with obsessive little freaks :-P yandere lovers rise!! !11!! 1!
your lungs and thighs burned as you sprinted down a corridor, your side hitting against yet another wall as you took a sharp turn, stumbling over your feet momentarily before bolting once more. "keep running!" you heard him shout from behind you, making the hairs of your arm stand in utter fear. the feeling of being preyed on pushed your adrenaline to exceed your physical limits.
you were on the unfortunate side of the game, a blue ball deciding and sealing your fate of inevitable death after many members of the red team refused your pleads and reasons to switch. not even half an hour later, you were now facing what you liked to think was your karmaâbeing chased by none other than nam-gyu, a person who you foolishly considered to be your teammate just three days ago.
looking back, you saw him still in pursuit within a lengthy distance, his cackles of amusement making you curse under your breath in a high-pitched, disconcerted tone. you saw the very end of the corridor giving you the option to turn left or right, as if mocking you by giving you the choices with the unknown chances of one leading to another continuous corridor, or a dead end: life or death.
before you got to decide, a body rammed against yours half-way through the corridor through a green door that opened. you both crashed against the wall before falling to the ground on your back with a grunt. you cursed loudly, taken aback at the sudden break of momentum. you turned to see a red-vested body on top of yours, making your eyes widen and a shiver go down your spine. you pushed yourself up, attempting to kicking the man in the process.
"shit, shit!" you exclaimed. "get off, fuck!" you kicked at his knee, but his hand found its way to grip at your ankle, pulling you to lay flat on the ground underneath him.
player 296 stood and hovered over your figure, a sinister grin forming on his sweaty face. "finally." your widened eyes stared up at him, chest rising and falling too quickly. furrowing your eyebrows, you lifted your leg to kick him in between the legs with a grunt.
the man bent over in pain, his hands covering his crotch. you scrambled backwards, attempting to lift yourself up once more before making eye contact with him until he let out a shout and jabbed his knife towards your head, which you avoided by a few inches with a gasp.
you made a fist with your hand and immediately jabbed at his jaw, making him stumble to the side upon impact. he reached for your neck using his knife, which you blocked using your forearm, the contact of the knife against it making you scream.
"you fucking shit!" you then heard nam-gyu shout behind the man in front of you. he turned to look, giving you the opportunity to take another punch at the side of his face, making his body hit the other wall of the corridor.
player 296 was pulled from on top of you, nam-gyu's bloodied face scrunched up in anger as he stabbed his abdomen in one swift motion. "she's mine!" he shouted, pulling the knife out before plunging it deep once more.
you crawled backwards in fear, your injury scraping against the hard floor making you groan out in pain. as he twisted the knife in player 296, nam-gyu turned his head to you, his ears perking up at the sound. "noona, hi," he breathed out, letting go of the murdered man and making him go down with a harsh thud. he took a careful step forward, approaching you with fear of scaring you off, as he would with a cat.
nam-gyu dropped to one knee, the palm holding his sharp knife pressed down, a clanging sound echoed as it hit the ground while he creeped towards you. you moved backwards slowly, your eyes never leaving his blown-out pupils. the contact of the open wound on your forearms against the rough floor made your eyebrows knit as you whined loudly. nam-gyu gazed at your injury before stilling at your sweaty, bloodied face, a fevered expression on his face.
his face darkened, the grip on his knife tightening as he gulped at the noises you made. his heartbeat quickened, eyelashes batting at you. "please, noonaâ" he called, his free hand reaching for you.
you pushed yourself up from the ground and sprinted to the end of the corridor, taking a sharp left. "noona!" nam-gyu whined from behind you, his calls falling on deaf ears as you ran to make distance from him.
he thought back to when your group was completeâwith you and se-mi teaming up to banter with thanos and gyeong-su, and him finding out that the deceased girl wasn't really older than them, but you were, as minsu said. nam-gyu grinned to himself, using his free hand to run through his hair as he recalled your conversation with him.
nam-gyu stared at your retreating figure, kneeling fully with an amused, frenzied look on his face. a grin found its way to settle on his lips as he panted from the rush that he felt from killing, running after you, and from hearing you moan in pain while you kept eye contact with him.
he took a sharp breath in, nerves shaking at the excitement he felt, and how great it was to hear you.
"are you really older than me?" he asked, taking a bite of the food given to the players for the evening.
you glanced at nam-gyu, his expression seemingly bored, before focusing on your food, "does it matter if i am? we're all going to die anyways." you said, making him look at you for a moment before laughing out loud.
"this is great!" said him, inching closer to where you sat. you raised an eyebrow at his suddenly excitement. "i like my women older. so sexy," he added, making you roll your eyes with a groan, muttering as if before moving seats to sit beside se-mi and minsu. nam-gyu stared at your back, grinning to himself. "you can't run from me, noona!"
he had stuck himself in between you and thanos in the following games, pulling you towards him during the mingle game in each round, and passing you a portion of his food with him being a picky eater as an excuse.
you found his attachment quite endearing, and found yourself looking at him in a certain way, too. he called you his pretty noona and bickered with se-mi whenever she mimicked his nickname for you, to which you roll your eyes at his fake and playful possession of you.
that was until the drugs and thanos' death took a major toll on his mental state, scaring you off. but he was always there for you, looking out, staring.
despite being high out of his mind, nam-gyu sat by your bed at the corner of the room before as the lights flickered, easing your verbal worries towards the nearing lights out, telling you to stay put and wait for him to come back and leaving your side with a hand to your thigh and a kiss to your forehead, to which you responded with a swift kiss to his lips.
your relationship with nam-gyu was blurred in between the lines of acquaintances, and friends, and enemies, and partners, and lustful touches. it confused you, considering the situation with the games, and you didn't want to stick around to wait for him to betray you for an increase of a couple million won to his name.
nam-gyu went back to your bunk without you there, and the next day saw you on the other end of the big room, furthest away from him.
nam-gyu looked down to the knife on his hand, gripping it tighter before throwing it up in the air and catching it with ease as it fell. he whooped as he stood, his voice echoing in the corridors while he rose to run after you yet again, a wicked grin wide on his face.
you had your back against the bloodied door, hiding inside an empty, dim-lit room to rest momentarily from the chase. you held your forearms, your blood staining against your thick, green uniform. a gasped left your lips as you felt another sharp pain from your wound, a curse leaving your parted mouth in pain.
you panted, wiping the sweat off your forehead using your shaking, bloodied hands. you took shallow breaths, groaning softly in utter exhaustion. you blinked away the forming tears, clenching your hands into fists to remain focused.
then, your body jolted at the sudden impact pushed on the door you were leaning on, making you squeal in surprise. "there you are," nam-gyu's voice was low from the other side of the door. your expression turned hectic, grounding your feet against the floor to angle yourself to keep the door from opening. a few loud knocks thudded against the wood, making it shake. "noona, can you open this for me, please?"
you took deep breaths, thinking of ways to run past him once more when he gets inside. you felt overwhelmed at the thought of nam-gyu using his strength to push his way past. his strength was undeniable, and it was horribly unfortunate for you.
nam-gyu hissed at your silence his hands running from his face to the locks of his bloodied hair. "noona!" he shouted, using the back of the knife to bang against the door. "noona, please, come on," he groaned at your lack of compliance. "noona, noona! open up!" he called over and over again.
"nam-gyu," you whined, body jolting at the impact of the thuds.
"noona!" he exclaimed, eyes widening as his palms pressed against the wood, excited to hear your voice. "there you are, i knew you were there." he said, trying to push the door open but frowning upon the feeling of weight against it. "hey, let me in, please?"
"n-nam-gyu, stay," you ordered, fear laced into your words.
nam-gyu's frown deepened, his head fuzzy from the drugs and honestly confused to why you're resisting. "stay?" he echoed, "what, here outside? noona, come on, just let me in already. i miss you," you heard him say.
"no, you need to stay outside, nam-gyu." you said, attempting to using his fucked-up state to your advantage.
despite not seeing him, nam-gyu shook his head as he pouted. "come on, let's play. i really, really missed you," he said, pushing his shoulder against the door to use force, successfully opening it a few inches wide before you slammed your body to close it.
he dragged out a whine before shouting. "fucking open this door already!" a bang came, then another, until its frequency got too much for your body weight and exhausted state alone to fend off. nam-gyu pushed using his shoulder, nearly opening the door halfway.
you turned and pushed your forearms against the rough material of the door, making you cry out in pain at the contact with your wound. nam-gyu's breath hitched, his pupils widening at the sound. "please, pleaseâplease! let me in, please, pl-please," he whined, "i need you, noona."
a tear fell from your eyes, whether from fear or the ache you felt in your chest at his voice, you didn't know. with one final bang, nam-gyu kicked the door open, making you stumble backwards and allowing the door to open just enough for his tall, slim figure to slip in. before you had the chance to compose yourself, you heard the door slam shut. you looked up in fear as nam-gyu now stood in front of you, his stance sluggish.
splashes of blood scattered around his entire body, the color crimson nearly covering his face in dots. the lack of words exchanged between the two of you as you maintained eye contact with him made the atmosphere feel heavy and clouded.
nam-gyu took a step closer, making you mirror his actions by taking a step back. he then took another, and another, all in silence until you felt the painted stone wall press against your back. your eyes never left his, both of you eyeing each other's panting figures, careful to make a move.
"noona." nam-gyu finally said, stray hair covering the corners of his eyes. he took a deep breath, as if sobering himself up. "why'd you leave me, noona?" he asked.
your eyebrows furrowed as you shook your head slightly, eyes looking down at your blood-stained shoes. "i-i don'tâ"
"you left me!" he shouted, the hand holding his knife shaking at his words. "i came back for you, and you left me. why?"
your eyes glossed, the feeling of hopelessness heavy on your chest. "nam-gyu," you called out, hesitantly holding a hand out in front of you to keep a distance.
nam-gyu looked at your outreached hand and held it in his rough ones. "don't you like me, noona? didn't we have fun playing?" he asked, interlacing his fingers with yours. "i liked you."
tears streamed down your eyes, your voice getting caught up in your throat in a hic. nam-gyu reached his hand holding the knife, turning it safely to wipe your tears with his knuckles. "you're so pretty, noona." a sob left your lips as you turned your face away from him in fear. nam-gyu frowned, before a lazy smile found its way to his lips, "hey, play with me again, noona."
you looked up at him. "play?" you echoed in question. nam-gyu nodded his head eagerly, taking another step towards you.
"play," he repeated, using the tip of his knife to press against the waistband of your uniform. you shook your head in response. "c'mon, just once, please?" nam-gyu then held his knife by his side, a drop of blood falling against the brightly-colored floor of the room.
you looked back at him with widened eyes, a flush creeping up your face at his dark expression. you shook your head once more as he let go of your hand and took a few steps forward, finally closing the gap between the two of you. he hung his head low, eyes focused on how his free hand played with the strings of your pants, with the other holding the tip of the knife against the side of your arms.
"noona, i'm gonna make you feel so good, you won't believe it," he said, hand slithering down your stomach to make its way under your outer layer of clothing. "i'll make you say my name again with your eyes behind its sockets, noona, i know you like that," he added.
his eyes bore into yours as his bottom lip settled under his teeth with a grin on his face. your trembling hands found its way to hold the wrist holding his knife, your eyes looking up at him in desperation. "won't you hurt me, nam-gyu?" you asked.
nam-gyu shook his head frantically, eager to please you with his answer. "no, i'd never hurt my noona," he said. "remember how i ate your pussy out before? i'll do just that, noona, please let me," he groaned at the feeling of dampness as he pressed his middle finger against your underwear.
his mouth gaped, feeling his saliva slowly pool in his mouth. "please, please, noona, i'll make you feel so, so good, please," he begged, eyes big in desperation.
you looked up at him in uncertainty, opening your mouth to say no but found your cheeks squished up as he squeezed it with his hand, the knife pressed flat tightly against your cheek.
nam-gyu closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss your lips hungrily, sucking on your bottom lip as a way to convince you to agree. he turned his head, the edge of his knife cutting his skin slightly as he continued to kiss you deeper. you held his bright red vest in your hands as a way to ground yourself.
pulling away, nam-gyu suddenly felt the slight sting from the new cut on his cheek. he giggled, muttering a curse under his breath. he threw the knife behind him without looking, making it land at a distance with a high-pitched clang.
"noona, please," nam-gyu held your face again, making your eyes look into his as his finger found its way in between your clothed folds. "i'll make you feel so good, noona," he added.
you panted at the press of his fingers, your hands finding their way to hold on to his arms like how you did before. "i'll make you squirm and moan, and cum so much," he lowered himself to whisper into your ear, tongue licking against your lobe before nipping at it.
his fingers were now pressed against your bare flesh, his nails scraping lightly as they slithered down in between your pussy. "you're wet, noona." he stated, a grin visible on his face.
"please let meâyou'll let me, right, noona? please?" he pleaded, eyes deep and lost into the colors of your eyes, awaiting for permission. you nodded, and nam-gyu's expression immediately lightened up. he leaned in again to kiss your lips with hunger and relief. "thank you, thank you," he repeated, lips trailing down your neck as his finger circled your clit in a slow pace. "thank you. you won't regret this, i promise, we'll have so much fun like before."
you squirmed and closed your eyes shut as nam-gyu roamed your body with his mouth, light pleasure blooming from the touches. he then inserted his fingers inside you, making you gasp in response. nam-gyu straightened his posture to meet your eyes with a smile before kissing you again. his hand rocked against your crotch in a rhythm, in contrast to the hunger he had while kissing you.
"nam-g-gyu," you moaned in between your kiss, making him pull away to look into your eyes again. his pupils were blown-out once more, his mouth swollen at the desperation of the kiss.
"oh, yes, noona," he said, halting the movements of his hand and pulling them out of your pants.
"nam-gyu," you whined at the loss of contact. nam-gyu groaned at your calls before giggling to himself, feeling the hardening of his cock at every breath you take.
his hands found their way around your clothes, stripping away your bloodied vest and hoodie, revealing a sweat-soaked, nearly-transparent white shirt that displayed your number in green letters that stuck to every curve of your body. licking his lips, nam-gyu fiddled with the hem of your shirt before pulling it up and off of you in a rushed manner, throwing it in the same direction of his knife from behind him.
"you're so pretty, noona," he whispers, mouth kissing sloppily at your breasts and making his way to your stomach, eyes nearly heart-shaped as they looked up at you.
nam-gyu knelt, your pants being lowered to your ankles by him as well. nam-gyu leaned to press his face against your clothed cunt, breathing in your arousal with a deep moan as his hands held firmly on your thighs. "oh, noona, iâ" he cut himself off, taking a kitten lick at your underwear and kissing the skin of your lower stomach after. "noona, please, please," he pleaded.
your hands found their way to his hair, pushing them back from his face as he looked up at you with gleaming eyes and a small pout. "noona, let me, please? i need," he gulped, "i need to taste you. please let me. won't you let me, noona? please," he pleaded.
you tucked his hair behind his ears, every inch of your body burning at the sight before you. "do you think you deserve it, nam-su?" you teased.
nam-gyu stuttered over his words, rising and falling as he bounced lightly from his feet. "gyu, nam-gyu! yes, i do, i deserve it, noona, nam-gyu deserves it, i do," he answered immediately, a feverish expression all over his features. "please, please, fucking let me already," he whined in impatience, fingers hooking at the hem of your underwear and sliding it down without permission.
"just see, you'll feel really, really good on my tongue, noona," he said, as if it was a promise for him to keep.
nam-gyu's hands gripped on your ass to pull you closer by the hips, his mouth latching on to your cunt and immediately got to work in finding your clit in between the wet slick of your folds. he moaned loudly against you at your taste, eyes closing as his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.
your fingers intertwined with his hair as he poked and pressed his tongue against your pussy skillfully, hums from his throat heard. you moaned when he sucked on your clit before moving his tongue in circular motions against it, his eyes opening wide to stare up at you with your mouth gaped and cheeks flushed. "you feel, ah, good, noona? am i making you feel good?" his voice was slightly muffled.
you whined and nodded lightly at his question, pulling on his hair. nam-gyu felt his cock twitch at your whine, continuing to lap at your folds. his hand made its way to settle on the plush of your thigh, while the other slithered in between your legs to tease you entrance as he continued gasping for breaths and diving back into you. "please, please," he pleaded once more, his fingers poking you. "please let me, noona," he added.
you groaned, eyes shutting in pleasure. "can i please, noona? let me? please, fuck, i just need to," he paused his words and pressed his tongue against your clit as he pushed his fingers in with ease.
you let out a high-pitched gasp, a moan dragging immediately after as he kept a pace. nam-gyu got another moan to leave your lips as he pressed his fingers against the walls of your cunt, rubbing at them. "haah, nam-gyu!" you exclaimed, head pressed against the wall as your fingers scratched on his scalp. he let out a moan, head moving from left to right while his fingers buried inside of you.
you bit your lip in an attempt to stop your moans. "noona?" nam-gyu called, eyes staring up at you before frowning, "no, no, please, noona," he pleaded. "don'tâno, please, let me hear you, pretty noona, please." he said, tongue moving quicker in an attempt to make you moan louder. "fuck."
nam-gyu's ear perked at the slipped whine from you, adding to his eagerness to make you moan more. "yes, yes, there it is." he sucked harshly, "that's right, noona, all for me," he said, adding another finger inside you, making your face scrunch up in pleasure.
his drool mixed with your slick surrounded his mouth, a few streaks dripping down to his neck. "i missed this cunny, i missed you, thank you, noona, don't leave me, okay?" he babbled, squelches loud as he ate you out, his other hand palming at his erection as he looked up at you.
"i missed you, noona."
#fanfiction#nam gyu#nam-gyu#squid game#squid game x reader#x reader#nam-gyu x reader#player 124#namgyu x reader#nam gyu x reader#thanos squid game#se-mi squid game#minsu squid game#gyeong-su squid game#squid game season 3#squid game season 2#netflix#namgyu smut#nam-gyu smut#yandere namgyu#yandere nam-gyu#yandere#yandere au
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This!!!!! have people never experienced the beauty and variety of love? true love and appreciation and respect between parents and child or friends? Reducing love to only partners is such a sad thing when loves comes in all shapes.
Love doesn't equal to only romantic love and I wish more people knew and respected and shared this!!!!
"friends don't look at each other like that" well okay you coward you do whatever you want however i WILL look at my friends like they're the most important thing in the world. i love them with my whole heart and i will hold their hand and stare at the stars not because i wanna fuck them but because they mean the world to me and i care about them. fuck you
#about love#kinda bothers me that for example now the kdh fandom is reducing the friendship between the three hunters to a romantic polycule...#but what if they are âââonlyâââ real best friends? the kind you find and hold on tight to because those are precious and hard to find?
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he leaves you out like a penny in the rain (p.3)

Pairing:Â Zayne Li x Non MC Reader
Summary:Â You spent years orbiting Dr. Zayne Li, but when a careless comment shatters the fragile bond you thought youâd built, you walk away. Only then does Zayne realize what he's lost.
Warnings: FLUFFFF. Zayne being a simp. A man who yearns is a man who EARNS!
Word Count:Â 5.7k
Disclaimer: Also, to all the lovely folks in medicine finding this, I am not a medical professional yall, so plz ignore any errors lmao.
A/N: Huzzah, last part! I just want to thank everyone who interacted with the last two parts. I loved reading every comment and reaction. I hope you liked how I wrapped it up.Â
I will be doing lads x non-mc reader fics for all the boys, so lemme know if you wanna be tagged for those, and who you'd like next <3
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | AO3
It had been months since the fallout with Zayne. Months of cold silences gradually warming, and old wounds scabbing over with routine kindnesses. He had chipped away at your anger with persistent thoughtfulness, but you were no fool. Whatever had cracked between you had re-formed into something more⌠professional. Friendly, at best.
And that was fine. You werenât delusional enough to believe in fairytales. You took his gestures for what they were: The generosity of a colleague. Nothing more, nothing less.Â
Regardless, the cardiology interns didnât deserve to suffer the effects of your grudge any longer. You hadnât stepped foot on their floor in months, and poor Dr. Greyson had taken to dramatically moping around in your office every other morning, as if his soul were leaving his body due to âmuffin deprivation.â
So today, in a rare act of mercy, you stopped by the bakery across the street and picked up a basket of assorted treats, carefully chosen according to the spreadsheet you kept tucked away in your phone, listing every known allergy, aversion, and guilty pleasure of the hospital staff. Maybe it was ridiculous, but it mattered to you. People should be known and remembered.
You arrived at the cardiology nurses' station just as the lunch lull set in, and Nurse Yvonne spotted you first, her entire face lighting up.Â
âGuess whoâs back?â she announced, looking at you like you were some benevolent snack deity.
You were nearly tackled by a flurry of white coats and clipboard-toting chaos as all nearby interns surged toward you. You waved them off and laid out the spread carefully.Â
âOh my godâ!â
âNo wayâ!â
âDr. Muffin! You live!â
âShe returns!â
You grin at their greetings, feeling warmth spread through you. âPlenty available, worry not. Everyone gets one. Except Brian. You get half until you finish your progress notes."Â
The intern, Brian, groaned. âI wouldâve stayed home today if I knew I was going to be picked on.â
âThen you wouldâve missed lemon poppy seed,â you remarked, handing him his with a raised brow. âAnd I know for a fact you love lemon poppy seed. Donât lie to me, I have the receipts.â
âOkay, stalker,â he muttered fondly. âThanks, Doc.â
âMaple walnut for Freya, blueberry crumble for Theo,â you continued, handing them out like a fairy godmother in scrubs. âNo nuts for Amara. And yes, Liz, I remembered the vegan chocolate one for you.â
You looked up to see wide eyes, crinkled noses from grinning too hard, and a chorus of thank-yous that made your chest ache familiarly.
âWell, well, well, if it isnât the sugar fairy.â Dr. Greyson was watching the spectacle with great interest. âTook you long enough. Weâve been surviving on vending machine despair and broken dreams.â
You snorted. âSounds like your interns couldâve used a better attending.â
âI tried feeding them,â he promised solemnly. âBut someone replaced my protein bars with ketchup packets and a single stick of gum.â
âBrian,â three interns chorused in unison.
Brian held up his hands. âNot me!â
Greyson shook his head in mock sadness. âAnyway. Iâm filing a formal complaint with HR. You vanished for months, and morale plummeted. You owe us seven monthsâ worth of baked goods and emotional support.â
âOh, please, you just missed having someone to complain to.â
âThat too.â
The mood was buzzing with laughter and stolen bites, and even though youâd told yourself you were done chasing after external validation, you realized you enjoyed this feeling of being welcome and a part of something.
You were so engrossed with the enthusiasm around you, you didnât even notice the subtle glance one intern threw toward the glass corridor behind you.
Zayne wasnât expecting the commotion outside his office. Such sporadic bursts of conversation werenât exactly uncommon at this hour, but what made him pause wasnât the noise. It was the scent.
Vanilla, with just the faintest hint of cinnamon and sugar. It tugged a thread in his memory.
He stepped out of his office, expression impassive as always, until he saw you standing at the nurses' station, laughing.Â
Actually laughing.
Your head was tilted back, your hair catching the light as your lips curved in a grin he hadnât seen in months. You were flanked by your two interns, Clara and Nam, both helping you manage the leftover baked goods, but all Zayne could see was you. Your smile settled something in his chest, and completely upended something else. Something that somersaulted in the hollow beneath his ribs.
He cleared his throat, and the sound was enough to make everyone freeze like theyâd been caught stealing vials from the laboratory.
"Do I get one?" he asked, deadpan.
A sudden shift fell over the group. Interns brushed crumbs off their coats, straightened their backs like soldiers standing to attention. But you just looked at him with a teasing grin.Â
âOf course." You held up a brown paper bag. "Canât have our head surgeon deprived of his sugar fix.â
Zayne stepped forward as you handed it over, and when your fingers inevitably brushed his, he swore his heart skipped a beat. Perhaps he ought to get himself checked for arrhythmia.Â
âWhat is it?â he asked, busying himself with his treat to avoid looking at you.
âSomething new. Thought you might want to try.â
Before he could respond, one of the cardiology internsâBrian, if he remembered correctlyâlet out a wistful sigh and groaned through a mouthful of muffin.
âIâd marry you for these,â he mumbled, eyes rolling skyward. âJust say the word, Doc.â
The entire station burst into raucous laughter. Except Zayne.
Clara and Nam stepped in front of you like bodyguards, crossing their arms with theatrical flair.
âAs if you could keep up with our magnificent doctor,â Clara jeered.Â
âYeah,â Nam chimed in. âShe wouldn't marry a guy who still confuses systole and diastole.â
âIt was one time!â Brian protested.
The bickering rose in volume, but Zayneâs eyes stayed on you. He didnât miss the way you humoured their teasing, or how your eyes flickered toward him briefly, unreadable. If it were anyone else, they would have shut down the jibes already, but the interns were comfortable enough to joke around with you because you treated them like friends, not your underlings.Â
âCâmon, Doc,â someone teased. âYou are married, right?â
âHa,â Clara cut in with a smirk. âSheâs practically married to her job, so the rest of you better get in line. Her attention is already spoken for.â
âOh,â Brian piped up. âSo like Dr. Li.â
A hush fell over the groupâhalf amused, half awkward.Â
Zayne didnât move, but he raised a brow, appraising the young man carefully. âIs that supposed to be a joke?â
Brian flushed. âUhâno, I just meant like you know. She's dedicated. Married to the work. Like you.â
You snickered, diffusing the tension by tossing Brian a napkin. âRelax, youâre not the first person to make that comparison.â
Not knowing what else to do, Zayne took a small bite from the pastry youâd given him. A mild citrus glaze hit his tongue. It was not something he wouldâve chosen, but it was surprisingly pleasant, and he wondered how many more things he didnât even know he liked until you handed them to him.
Brian, likely in a desperate attempt to redeem himself, addressed you again. âI mean, it makes sense, right? You and Dr. Li. Two of the most overworked doctors in this hospital. Same brutal hours. Same merciless expressions when someone makes a dumb mistakeââ
ââsame self-destructive perfectionism,â Clara added, looking between you and Zayne like she was connecting yarn on a conspiracy board.
Nam grinned. âSame tendency to pretend they donât need sleep.â
âSame inability to remember where they left their coffee, or who took it.â
You rolled your eyes at that. âThat was one time, Clara.â
Zayne shook his head. âTwice, actually.â
You turned your glare to him, but then, right on cue, Dr. Greyson interrupted.Â
âI must say, it's awfully nice of you to rejoin us, Doc. I was starting to think Dr. Li scared you off for good.â
Zayneâs eyes narrowed. âThatâs notââ
âDonât worry,â Greyson cut in again. âWe all know his effect on most people. Itâs a miracle you still visit our floor at all.â
âPretty sure itâs the interns she visits,â Nam pointed out.
âObviously,â Brian agreed. âWeâre the fun ones.â
Just then, Nam leaned in conspiratorially. âAlright, alright, before we let you get back to work, we need to know some important stats. How well do you know each other? You know, good colleagues who work together must know each other's habits to function cohesively.â
You frowned. "Nam, what are you even saying?"
Clara clapped her hands together. âYes, excellent idea! Rapid-fire round. Dr. Li, what's her favourite late-night snack? Go.â
You opened your mouth to tell her that there was no way he'd know that, but Zayne responded before you could. âSubpar takeout from the establishment down the street.â
You pursed your lips sullenly. âYou don't have to emphasize the word subpar.â
He gave you a blank look. âYou get the same thing every time you're on-call. Even when you should be prioritizing nutrition over price.â
"I am supporting a small business! That is significantly more important."
Meanwhile, Brian pointed between the two of you with a dramatic gasp. âYou watch what she eats?â
Zayne didnât respond, but the twitch in his jaw suggested he realized heâd walked right into that one.
âYou never notice what the rest of us eat, Dr. Li.âÂ
âIâm not responsible for your questionable caffeine intake, Brian,â Zayne replied.
âOkay, okay,â Clara said, grinning. âNext one. Worst habit?â
You smirked. âDr. Li hoards pens. A concerning��number of them. Once I borrowed one and he acted like Iâd stolen a kidney.â
âThey were organized,â the man grimaced. âYou put them back in the wrong slot.â
Brian sniggered. âSo youâre saying heâs a pen goblin. Thatâs fine. What about you, Doc?â
Zayne answered for you this time. âShe volunteers for too many shifts. Even when sheâs dead on her feet.â
The teasing paused for a beat. You glanced at him, surprised by the concern in his voice.
âThatâs not technically a bad habit, Dr. Li,â Clara argued.
âIt is, if it means she runs herself into the ground.â
Brian cleared his throat loudly before it could get awkward again. âSo⌠you both donât sleep. Great foundation. Now, last one. Dream vacation spot. Go.â
You both hesitated, then, spoke at the same time. âSomewhere quiet.â
Clara leaned into Nam and whispered audibly, âOkay, but if they donât already live together, Iâll eat my stethoscope.â
Greyson, who had been observing everything with the satisfaction of a man watching a very slow car crash, finally interjected. âGod, you two really are like a divorced couple who never filed the paperwork.â
You pinched the bridge of your nose. âAlright, Dr. Greyson, if you're done assembling your case file for imaginary conspiracy theories, I'm going to go steal some gloves from your supply closet.â
Zayne glanced at you. âOut of gloves again?â
"You know how it is." You shrugged. "Kids love getting things sticky. Paint, glitter, jam, bodily fluids. Itâs a fun surprise every time I enter a room.â
Nam made a face. âWhy would you say jam and bodily fluids in the same sentence?â
âBecause itâs true." Clara nodded sagely. âWeâve seen things. Sticky things.â
âAnd suddenly, Iâm not hungry anymore.â Brian set his muffin down.
âYouâll get over it,â you said dryly. âItâs your favourite.â
Zayne, meanwhile, looked faintly amused in that imperceptible way of his. His eyes softened, and the edge of his mouth twitched. âIâll have a box sent over this afternoon. You don't have to raid Greyson's supply.â
That earned a round of wiggling eyebrows and mischievous looks, but the two of you chose to ignore them.Â
âIâm going back to work, as should the rest of you,â Zayne said curtly, turning on his heel and walking off, but you swore the tips of his ears had turned an endearing shade of crimson.
After that day, the interns of your two departments formed a coalition of sorts, although you weren't sure what their end goal was.Â
It started subtly at first.
Whenever a shared consult with cardiology came up, Nam would look at the patient chart, let out a theatrical sigh, and say, âOh no, Iâve just remembered Iâm needed in the NICU,â before fleeing with such urgency you didnât have the heart to stop him.
âGuess Iâll have to deliver the updates myself,â youâd declare, trudging reluctantly toward Zayne's office. Enough time had passed that you weren't avoiding him like the plague anymore, and you had fallen back into a friendly routine of bringing him his favourite macarons while he brought you whatever stationery you were currently in short supply of.Â
The good doctor himself never looked surprised to see you, but then again, he never looked anything. Except when your hand accidentally brushed his while handing over a file, and he watched you like he was trying to solve a complex equation. One he didnât yet have the formula for.
After that, the interns got bolder.
You once spotted Clara scribbling something into a notebook, and when you asked what she was doing, she yelped and slammed the book shut, claiming it was just her clinical notes. But you could have sworn you saw the words accidental hand touch: 2 points?
It only escalated from there.
Your coffee order was mysteriously doubled every morning as well. Whenever youâd go to pick up your usual, you'd find two drinks waiting, one marked with your name, the other with Zayneâs initials, forcing you to drop by his office.Â
On rare free afternoons, when you went to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite between shifts, you would often find your regular table occupied by whichever interns were available at the time, and most surprising of all, Zayne. And every time, there was only ever one empty seat between him and the wall.Â
You could have probably just taken lunch in your office, but you were curious as to what the interns were trying to accomplish, so you played along. Besides, if it got Zayne out of his office and actually eating on time, who were you to complain?Â
One evening, you and Zayne were reviewing overlapping patient files in the cardiology break room when a slow song suddenly started playing from someoneâs phone left on the table. The music was loud and awkward, and you promptly burst out laughing.Â
âIs that⌠is that Careless Whisper?â
Zayne looked irritated, especially when a chorus of muffled giggles could be heard from the hallway beyond the slightly ajar door.Â
You sighed. âWe should probably put a stop to their antics soon?â
"Probably," Zayne agreed, pointing to the whiteboard behind him. "Have you seen Brian's latest artistic endeavour?"
You had to choke back another undignified sound when you saw the exceptionally detailed doodle of a heart monitor graph with exaggerated spikes. The words underneath spelled out your name along with Zayne's.Â
"There's a spreadsheet too, apparently."
You nearly fell out of your chair. "There's a what?"
Zayne slid his laptop over to you, showing you an elaborately set-up document titled Dr. Li's Compatibility Study: Ongoing Observational Data, with columns labelled âShared Preferences,â âMutual Glances,â and âChemistryâDebatable.â
"Why do you have access to it?"
"It was shared accidentally, I am told."
Your mouth dropped open as you examined it further. âTheyâve graphed it.â
"The Pearson correlation coefficient is impressive.â
You buried your face in your hands. âIâm going to kill them.â
âYouâll have to take a number."
However, he didnât seem as annoyed as youâd expected. In fact, someone with his disposition would have shut down the little project a long time ago, and it was almost as if he was letting it continue on purpose. You told yourself not to read into it too much. Perhaps he, too, was amused by their antics and wanted to see what their end goal was.Â
And the next day, you caught him deliberately slowing his steps when he saw you walking into the hospital courtyard, matching your stride like it was muscle memory. He didnât say much, but he didnât have to. Not when Nam, Clara, and Brian were watching from the second-story windows with binoculars and wildly jotting into their notebook.
It all came to a startling conclusion the following week.
It began innocently enough, almost too innocently, in retrospect.
First, Clara asked to borrow your pager in the morning, drumming her fingers on your desk with a perfectly casual smile. âMineâs been glitching all day. I want to compare the alerts side by side.â
You barely looked up from the patient charts you were reviewing. âSure,â you allowed, sliding it toward her. âJust bring it back in a few minutes.â
She chirped an âOf course!â and breezed out the door.
You didnât think much of it after that. You had rounds, consults, a half-eaten granola bar and a cold coffee to finish before midnight. A typical day.
It wasnât until mid-afternoon that Nam groaned from the nurseâs station, holding his lower back like an actor in a bad soap opera. âI think Iâve aged three decades today,â he groaned. âDoc, could you grab more bandages from the supply closet? Iâll owe you my life.â
You narrowed your eyes. âWasnât that your assignment?â
âAlas, I am but a shell of a man,â he moaned. "I can barely move, let alone brave through that maze of dust bunnies."
âFine,â you muttered, taking pity. âBut only because I donât want you fainting from sheer dramatics.â
That was mistake number two.
You made your way to the old supply closet near your office, the one you loathed. It was narrow like a crawl space, shelves stacked dangerously high, and perpetually dim because no one ever fixed the overhead bulb. Youâd sent several maintenance requests, but never received a response.
You pulled out your phone, switched on the flashlight, and carefully picked your way through the tunnel of medical chaos. And there it was, balanced idiotically on the top shelf like it was mocking you. You glowered up at the box of bandages, already placing your foot on the bottom-most shelf to use it as a stepping stool, dignity be damned. You were not in the mood to hunt down a ladder.Â
Just as you had hoisted yourself up a considerable distance, you heard footsteps outside. You turned your head sharply, opening your mouth to warn whoever was approaching. âCareful! Donât let theââ
But your warning came too late.
The door swung open, and Zayne Li stepped inside. His shoe landed squarely against the cardboard box youâd wedged in the frame to keep the old door ajar, kicking it clean out of place. You watched in dismay as the door swung shut behind him with finality.Â
âNooooââ
Zayne blinked. âWhatâs wrong?â
You groaned, smacking your forehead lightly against the metal shelf. âThat door is always getting jammed. And you just kicked away our only means of escape.â
Your intruder regarded the discarded cardboard box with an expression of mild guilt. âOh⌠I am sorry.â
The space was dim and dusty, lit only by your phone on a nearby shelf, casting eerie shadows on the walls. Zayneâs face, half-illuminated, looked too serene for someone who had just ruined your day.
âWhy are you even here, Dr. Li?â
The man held up his pager. âWerenât you the one who called for me?â
You narrowed your eyes. âWhy would I ask to meet you in a closet?â
âWho am I to question your cryptic summons? You said it was urgent.â
âI donât even have my pager on meâ" you interrupted yourself with a grunt, "âCLARA!â
â...Ah.â
You groaned again, your head thunking against the shelf with more feeling this time. âI knew something was off when she asked to borrow it. I shouldâve known she was up to something. I canât believe Iâve been outwitted by an intern.â
âTheyâve grown bold. Greyson found a tally sheet on one of their clipboards last week. I believe there are betting brackets involved.â
âOf course, there are.â
Then Zayne squinted up at you, as if just realizing your precarious position. âWhy are you climbing the shelves?â
âBecause I hate my life, obviously."
âThatâs an occupational hazard. You should probably get down.â
You cast a look down at the narrow space between you. You would definitely have to descend directly into his personal space. Like⌠very personal. Chest-to-chest proximity.
You gave a forced little laugh. âMaybe, uh⌠maybe Iâll just stay up here and call for help. Pass me my phone, please.â
Zayne rolled his eyes. âYou are being dramatic. You canât possibly make a coherent phone call while perched up there."
"It is surprisingly comfortable up here, actually," you countered.
"Let me help. I can't simply stand by and watch a colleague twist an ankle.â He moved toward you, standing in front of the shelf with his hands raised like he was expecting you to faint into his arms.Â
âAre you seriously going to spot me like Iâm a toddler on monkey bars, Dr. Li?â
âYouâre the one climbing a shelf. The metaphor makes itself.â
You glared down at him. âDo not drop me.â
âI never drop the things I value.â
His voice was too serious, and your pulse quickened at the insinuation behind it. But you shook the delusional notion out of your head as soon as it entered. No, he was simply just being a helpful coworker.Â
âThat was almost too poetic," you teased. "Are you sure Dr. Greyson didnât write that line for you?â
He let out a huff. âCome down, Doctor. Please.â
With a sigh, you acquiesced, placing your foot on the shelf below the one you were on. Then, for one distressing second, you slipped, but Zayne was at your side instantly, one hand at your waist, and the other catching your flailing one as you stumbled.
Your heart stuttered.
âSee? I told you it was a hazard." Zayne's voice was hoarse despite the forced levity.Â
You swallowed thickly as he helped you all the way down, hyper aware of the minimal space between you now. His hand hadnât moved from your waist, even after both your feet were firmly on the ground, and your faces were far too close.Â
You wondered if you imagined the subtle shift in his chest, the faintest hitch in his breathing. His jaw was clenched, his brows furrowed, and his usually unreadable expression seemed almost unsettled.
Was it discomfort? Frustration? You couldn't be sure, and that uncertainty made you uneasy.
You took a slow, calming breath and offered a placid smile, the kind you wore when trying to diffuse tense parents or scared patients. But strangely, it seemed to make matters worse. Zayneâs gaze only darkened, his mouth tightening like heâd eaten something sour. Yet he still didnât move, or let you go.
You cleared your throat. âIâll just go ahead and make that call now.â
When you reached toward your phone, his hand shot out and wrapped around your wrist before you could touch it.
You froze. "âŚDr. Li?â
His name came out quieter than you meant, the intensity of his grip startling you. It wasn't painful, just firm. You couldn't decide if he was trying to anchor you or himself.Â
You watched his throat bob, his eyes darting across your face like he was searching for something.
âIs it reallyâŚâ he faltered. âDoes it not bother you?â
His breath ghosted over your cheek, and you instinctively craned your head backward, trying to give him space, unwilling to make him uncomfortable. It took you a moment to register what he meant, but then, realization flickered behind your eyes.
âAh⌠The interns and their jokes? No⌠it doesnât really bother me. I mean, medicine is a gruelling field. If they find little ways to have fun, even if itâs at my expense, wellâŚâ You shrugged. âI suppose it doesnât really mean anything, does it? All in good fun.â
You tried to keep your tone light, like none of it affected you. Like the implication that you and Zayne could be anything beyond colleagues didnât sit heavy and half-formed in your heart each time someone said it aloud. If you turned it into a joke, then it wouldn't hurt as much when everyone else did too. If you pretended it didn't matter, then it didn't.Â
When Zayne didn't respond, you winced at your own thoughtlessness. Of course, it irritated him. He wasn't the type to put up with such jokes. Maybe he loathed the idea of being with you in any capacity beyond a fellow staff member. Maybe he was just waiting for you to put a stop to it.Â
âI'm sorry," you apologized. âI didnât realize it bothered you so much. Iâll tell them to stop if you like. Iâm sure I can convince them to set their sights on Dr. Greyson and that radiologist heâs been pining after all year instead.âÂ
You chuckled nervously at the end. A peace offering.
But Zayne didnât return the gesture. He didnât even blink. His fingers were still curled around your wrist, and the look in his eyes wasnât one of amusement.
It was something else entirely.
 "All in good fun," youâd said.
Zayne nearly laughed aloud, except nothing about this felt remotely funny. Not when the only thing separating the two of you was his own desperate willpower. Not when he could feel the heat of your skin beneath his ice-cold palm, and your pulse fluttering wildly under his fingers.
Good funâwas that truly all it had been to you?
Because to him, it had been torment. Every single joke the interns cracked, every knowing glance and coincidental moment engineered to bring the two of you closer had driven Zayne to the edge. At first, he thought he could ignore it, like he did every other distraction in life. He was good at ignoring things and bottling up what shouldn't be felt.
But then came the little things. The way you brought him his morning coffee and favourite macarons every week. The way he had begun to anticipate your presence in his department. And worst of all, you'd laughed through it all. Every ridiculous setup, offhand comment about your compatibility, or synchronized schedules, or some other nonsenseâyou laughed.Â
You smiled as though none of it mattered. As though he didnât matter.
Meanwhile, heâd spent the past week like a man walking a tightrope over a fire, the heat rising, the air thinning, and the fall inevitable. All while you watched from the sidelines, unaware that his heart was blistering.
And now, here you stood, telling him it didnât mean anything.
Zayneâs hand tightened slightly on your waist, grounding himself. Your flashlight, perched a few feet away, cast the softest glow upward, catching on your lips, your lashes, and the curve of your cheek.
It was unbearable.
He wantedâno, he neededâto kiss you. To cup your cheek, press his forehead to yours, and tell you how maddeningly bright you made his life. How much he thought about you when you werenât there. How much he missed your stupid stickers and the smell of your shampoo when you leaned over his desk. And your eyesâgods, your eyes. He could drown in them.
Zayne had always prided himself on control. His life was a sequence of precision and calculation. He had no room for chaos.
But you were chaos. Beautiful, compassionate, infuriating chaos.Â
You were the only variable he hadnât planned for. The only person who could walk into a room and make his carefully built world tilt on its axis. And now you were looking at him with that sheepish expression and apologizing for a joke he would spend the rest of his life chasing the hope of.
How could you stand here, just inches from his mouth, and smile, and ask if he was the one who was bothered? How could you say none of it mattered when he was unravelling, just trying not to tell you heâd been in love with you longer than heâd even allowed himself to realize?
âBecause of you, everything is spiralling out of controlâŚâ he managed to utter. âHow can you pretend youâre not affected?â
Your heart thundered against your ribs, but your eyes were resolutely focused on some point behind his head. âIâm not sure what you mean, Dr. Li.â
Zayne let out a strangled noise of frustration. âI donât know how much clearer I can make it for you.â
You scowled then, irritation lacing your words. âI suppose youâll have to spell it out for me. Iâm not in the practice of assuming other peopleâs feelings for them. You can imagine how messy it could get if I infer wrong.â
The silence between you was razor-sharp. Then, Zayne leaned impossibly closer, one hand braced on the shelf behind your head, the other still on your waist.
âThen perhaps I will spell it out for you."
"Best that you do."
He scoffed at that. You were aggravating as always.Â
âI think about you constantly," he confessed. "When youâre not there, I look for you. I find myself listening for your voice in every room you do not occupy. I have the sound of your footsteps memorized. Every time someone mentions your name, I canât help turning my head like a fool. And when you stopped coming around⌠it felt like someone had taken a scalpel to my lungs.â
He met your stunned gaze head-on, eyes so raw with sincerity you forgot how to breathe.
"You were brilliant back in medical school. You are brilliant now. And Iâve been in awe of you from the moment I met you."
Your mouth opened and closed like a fish pulled out of the water, and all you could give him was a hushed, "Oh."
"You do not need to give me a response, or even return the sentiment," he added hesitantly. "I just needed you to know. I didnât think I had the right to want someone as exceptional as you, but I do care for you. Deeply. More than Iâve ever known how to say."
Your response was not what he expected. ââŚAre you feeling alright, Dr. Li?â
He scrutinized you, trying to assess whether you'd gone mad or were mocking him. âWhy would I say all of that if I wasnât?â
âI donât know. Maybe youâve come down with a fever. Or had a lapse in judgment. I justââ You paused, your throat tight. âZayne⌠are you being serious right now?â
He didnât flinch when you dropped the formalities. If anything, it made him soften, and he reached up to brush a stray strand of hair from your cheek. âI have never been more serious about anything in my life.â
"Oh."
âI know I said terrible things," he continued, almost desperately. "I know I hurt you. And I will regret it for the rest of my life. But none of that was a reflection of your abilities. It was my own incompetence talking, and my inability to handle things."
You stared at him, wide-eyed, and all the pieces of the past few monthsâhis clumsy efforts, the apologies, the devout offeringsâslotted into place with a painful clarity.
But still, your heart throbbed with old bruises. âYou made me think I meant nothing to you.â
âI know.â Shame rippled across his face. âAnd I hate that I did. But youâve meant something to me for a long time. I just never had the courage to say it, and for that, I will always be sorry.â
You pressed your lips together, trying not to cry, but your ribs ached with the effort.
âI missed you,â you finally whispered. âSo much. I thought we were at least friends, and then you went and...â
That was all it took for the tension between you to shift, something tender taking its place. His hand was still resting lightly against your cheek, and his thumb brushed beneath your eye, as if prepared to catch a tear before it could fall.Â
âYou donât have to forgive me. Iâll wait as long as you need me to.â
You looked at him for a long moment before dropping your forehead to rest against his shoulder, avoiding his gaze. âIâm still mad at you.â
âIâd be worried if you werenât,â he murmured, a wry smile tugging at his lips.
You closed your eyes, enveloped in the scent of himâclean and sharp, like antiseptic and pine and something vaguely citrus. You inhaled it like it might tether you to reality, though part of you wasnât entirely sure you wanted to stay grounded. This couldnât possibly be real.
It felt too surreal. His hands steady at your waist, the hushed heat of his breath against your skin, the look in his eyes like you were something precious he was finally allowing himself to reach for. You werenât sure what to think.
Maybe you were dreaming. After all, how many times had you imagined something like this during med school? Embarrassing little daydreams you'd never dared to speak aloud. You were just a giddy, overworked student back then, half in awe, half in love with the smartest boy in your class. The boy who let you sit beside him during study sessions, and always remembered your coffee order.Â
So what were the odds that youâd end up here? In a tiny supply closet, no less. Whispered confessions. Flushed cheeks. Breathless tension. This was either your most vivid delusion yet or...
You pinched his arm
Zayne hummed in response, sounding offended. âWhyâd you do that?â
âIâm checking to see if youâre real.â You blinked up at him, dazed. âIf this is all real.â
âDonât people usually pinch themselves in those situations?â
âI suppose⌠but this seemed more reasonable.â
A fond chuckle escaped him, and it warmed the air between you like sunlight bleeding through storm clouds. âFeel free to report me to HR after all this, if you wish," he stated eventually.Â
There was a beat of silence before, to his surprise, you giggled.Â
âIs that truly what you think I would do?"
"Wouldn't you?"
You shook your head, your lips twitching. "You're wrong, by the way."
"About what?"
"When you said I wasn't affected. You were wrong."
"Oh."
It was Zayne's turn to look bewildered at your revelation, the realization dawning that maybe you had been teetering close to the very same edge he'd been trying to rein himself back from.Â
âYouâre staring again,â you pointed out after several moments, half-teasing, but far too gentle for the joke to land.
Zayne didnât waver. âIâve wasted enough time not doing it.â
That made your mind fuzzy again, and you felt your throat grow dry. It was suddenly too hot in this cramped space, and there was only enough light for you to see the tension in his jaw. Then he shifted, close enough for his nose to brush yours, but still giving you every opportunity to pull away.
You didnât.
When he uttered your name, it was a confession on his tongue.Â
âWould it be⌠completely inappropriate if I kissed you now?â
The question nearly broke you, because in all your aching, sleepless nights of imagining this moment, you hadnât once pictured him asking so gently.
You didnât answer with words, instead closing the sliver of distance and kissing him.
It was tentative at first. Your fingers found the front of his coat, and his trembled where they cradled your jaw. But then he exhaled like heâd been holding his breath for years.Â
He kissed you like he was making up for every second he hadnât, like he, too, couldnât quite believe this wasnât a dream.
When he reluctantly pulled back, his voice was a low rasp. ââŚWas that alright?â
âYouâre about several years late, Dr. Li.â
His lips twitched. âIâll work on my timing.â
Hope I didn't miss anyone â¤ď¸
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#icarus ignite writes#love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace zayne x reader#zayne x reader#zayne li x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#lnds zayne#l&ds zayne#zayne x non mc#loveanddeepspace#love and deepspace x reader#li shen x reader#li shen#love and deepspace fanfic#love and deepspace zayne fanfic
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The Crimson Pact | Part 4
Characterizations | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5
SoulBond!AU
Pairings: Yandere!Saja Boys x F!Reader
Synopsis: You were never supposed to remember them.
Four hundred years ago, a pact was madeâa blood-soaked bond tying five demons to one human soul: yours.
Theyâve waited lifetimes for your reincarnation, cursed with obsession, tethered by fate.
And now that youâve returned?
Theyâll burn the world before they let you go again.
Warnings: Soul bond with the Saja Boys, Yandere themes!, obsessive behavior / possessiveness, romantic psychological tension, mentions of implied past death / reincarnation, intense emotional fixation, yearning, dark romance, hurt/comfort
A/N: Another chapter for my lovely readers! Thank you for the support! I hope you enjoy this one. <3 I'll also be cross-posting to AO3 now that this chapter is written.
âââââââââ ŕźşđŕźť âââââââââ
The Saja boys are all demons.
They are wrath and ruin. Jealousy and death.
And yet, before her, they kneel.
Because she is the Heart. Because her soul is what keeps them from unraveling into true monsters. Because they were bound by her love and her curse.
They donât just crave herâthey depend on her. Without her presence, their minds deteriorate. Their bodies decay. Their hunger becomes unbearable.
Only Y/Nâs touch tames the demon inside.
ââââââââââ â ââââââââââ
Part 4:
What They Would Give
The dream was silk and shadow.
Gold candlelight flickered across paper walls. A bipa hummed in the distance, low and mournful, each note a whisper from another life. Your bare feet pressed against cold stone floors, hem of your hanbok brushing the ground as you moved silently through the eastern wing of the palace. You knew this place. Knew every turn, every tile, every secret door the nobles thought you were too stupid to notice.
But you werenât stupid. And he always knew that.
âYeobo,â a voice breathed behind youâlow, reverent, broken. You turned.
Jinu stood beneath the moonlight, hair tied back, royal silks stained with dirt. His face was youngâso achingly youngâbut those eyes held lifetimes. They always had.
He reached for you, and when you didnât flinch, his hand cupped your cheek like you were something made of music and prayers. âYou shouldnât be here.â
You smiled, teasing, like always. âNeither should you.â
He laughed softly. God, that sound.
âDid they find out?â you asked, voice quieter now. âAbout us?â
His silence was answer enough.
The dream shifted. You were in his private room now, tucked between scrolls and incense and the scent of him. He knelt beside you, watching as you dabbed the scrape on his hand.
âIâm not worth the blood you spill,â you whispered once. And he had looked at you like youâd torn open the sky. âDonât say that.â
âThen donât let them hurt you for me.â
Another shift. Rain pounded against palace tiles. The smell of smoke. The wail of women in the distance. He held you against his chestâhis heartbeat frantic as yours slowed.
âStay awake,â he begged.
But the poison was already in your lungs. You tried to speak, to tell him you werenât afraid. That it wasnât his fault. But all that came out was blood. And he had screamed your name like it would call your soul back.
The dream cracked.
You stood in the palace courtyard now. Alone. Wind howling. Your breath fogged before you. A mirror rippled in the darkâa still pool once used by concubines for beauty rituals.
You stepped forward. Looked in. And saw him.
Not Jinu.
Not exactly.
His face was his, but darker. Skin a cold hue of purple or blue- you couldnât tell. Patterns twisted across his neck and flawless face like vines. They glowed a faint violet. His eyesâblack and gold, molten and endless. Clawed hands. No blood on themâbut you knew there had been. His silks were gone, replaced by flowing black garments that moved like smoke.
He looked up at you. And he smiled.
You screamed.
And woke up. Gasping, drenched in sweat, your sheets tangled around you like vines. Your breath came in sharp bursts. Faint morning light filtered through the blinds, soft against the sheen on your skin.
What the hell was that?
The memories werenât yours. Couldnât be yours. Youâd never worn a hanbok. At least, not since you were a little girl. Never kissed Jinu beneath the stars or held his trembling hands in a candlelit room. So why did it feel more real than anything else in your life?
You sat up, pressing a shaking hand to your chest. Thenâ
Knock, knock. Your head snapped toward the door. A voice. Gentle. Familiar.Â
âY/N?â Jinu.
You swallowed, heart still pounding. âI⌠Iâm fine,â you said. Too fast. Too high.
Silence.
Then, âAlright. If you need anything⌠Iâm right outside.â
You exhaled. Slowly. A beat passed. Your hand stayed pressed over your chest. But your thoughts drifted backânot to the kiss, or the palace, or even the blood.
No.
They stayed on that reflection. The patterns. The eyes.
Was that Jinu?
And more terrifyingâ
Why arenât you scared of him?
ââââââââââ â ââââââââââ
You padded into the kitchen wrapped in silence and Jinuâs hoodie.
The boys were already thereâsome seated, some standingâbathed in morning sunlight and the smell of eggs and something sweet. Pancakes maybe? Abby was at the stove, flipping something with surprising delicacy. Baby lounged in the corner seat, head resting lazily against the glass. Mystery sat curled up in his seat like a housecat, eating fruit with his fingers. Romance leaned against the counter, cradling a mug like it was a stage prop he was dramatically rehearsing with.
And Jinuâ
Jinu sat at the head of the table, reading a folded newspaper like he hadnât held you for hours last night, lips pressed against your forehead while your body trembled in remembrance. Before sleep had taken you into that haunting dream.
His eyes flicked up when you entered. âMorning,â he said softly.
You nodded. âMorning.â
You could feel itâthe heat of their gazes, the air shifting around you like invisible fingers brushing your skin. There was a gentleness in their posture. A quietness. But also⌠something else.
Caution.
They were being careful with you. Too careful.
You sat down in the seat Mystery scooted out for you. His cheek brushed your arm and he inhaled like he was starved for it. Your heart did a small, weird flutter. You avoided Jinuâs eyes.
Did they know? Did they see? They were demons. They probably felt it. The bond. The kiss.
Your face burned as you accepted a plate from Abby, who set it down with too much force. His eyes flicked to your neck for half a second before looking away. You could feel the tension rippling through his shoulders.
Oh god. They did know.
Romance was the first to speak. Of course he was. âSleep well, sweetheart?â he purred, voice warm and slippery. âYou look flushed.â
âIâm fine,â you mumbled, stabbing your pancake with unnecessary aggression. âJust hot.â
âHmm,â he said with a smirk, âI bet you are.â
You flinched. They definitely knew.
Your thoughts spiraled. One kiss. Just one. You didnât even mean for it to happen. But nowâ Were you supposed to kiss them all? Were they expecting that? Were they mad?
A clatter drew your eyesâBaby had dropped his fork. He didnât pick it up. Just stared at you, elbow on the table, jaw resting against his hand. His black eyes flicked down to your mouth.
You quickly looked away.
âI didnât meanââ you blurted, then froze. âI mean. I⌠I donât know what Iâm doing. With any of this. With you. With the bond.â
A pause. And then Jinu spokeâgentle, but unshakeable. âYou donât have to do anything.â
You blinked.
âYou donât owe us anything,â he added, folding his paper. âThe bond⌠itâs not a leash. Itâs a thread. You pull when youâre ready.â
Mystery leaned against your side, nuzzling your shoulder. âWeâll wait,â he whispered, voice soft. âWe always do.â
Romance tilted his head, smiling faintlyâbut there was something sharper beneath it. âWeâll be patient. But not passive. We still want you to choose us.â
Abby sat beside you, jaw tense. âYou donât have to split yourself up,â he muttered. âYou donât have to kiss anyone until you want to. Really want to.â
You stared down at your plate. Your hands shook. âI donât want to hurt anyone,â you whispered. âItâs just⌠too much. Too fast.â
âNo oneâs hurt,â Jinu said. âWeâve waited four hundred years. We can wait a little longer.â
âYouâre not gonna disappear again,â Mystery whispered, holding the edge of your sleeve like he was afraid you might.
âAnd when you do come to us,â Romance added with a sly glint, âweâd prefer it if itâs because youâre burning for us. Not because you feel guilty.â
You swallowed. Babyâs voice was last to join, quiet but absolute. âWeâve already had your soul. We want your heart now. The rest⌠can come later.â
You stared at them. Five monsters. Five men. All of them impossibly patient. All of them aching. And still willing to wait for you to fall in love again.
Your throat tightened. You nodded. âThank you.â
Romance lifted his mug. âAnytime, darling.â
Baby smiled faintly. Abby grunted. Mystery purred. And Jinu just watched you with the softest expression youâd ever seen.Â
You took a bite of the pancakes Abby had stacked on your plate and paused. Your eyes widened. âWait⌠these are actually good.â
Abby raised a brow. âWhat do you mean actually?â
Sheepishly, you stabbed another forkful. âI just didnât expect a demon to know how to make pancakes.â
He scoffed, flicking batter from the spatula. âIâve been alive for centuries. You think I wouldnât know how to scramble an egg or flip a damn pancake?â
Romance leaned in, chin on his palm. âHeâs particularly good with his hands, if youâre wondering.â
You choked. âIâm notââ
âI have a very diverse skillset,â Abby interrupted smugly. You rolled your eyesâbut your smile faltered. Because just then, the warmth of the kitchen, the golden sunlight on the tile, the smell of syrup and coffeeâit all fell away.
You remembered silk. And blood. And a flicker of something with glowing eyes staring back at you in a polished palace floor. Your fork paused halfway to your lips. âHey⌠can I ask you something?â
All of them stilled. Jinu looked up from his mug. âOf course.â
Your voice dropped, uncertain. âLast night. I saw something. In my dream. It was⌠dark. I think it was you. But not you.â
Jinuâs fingers tightened slightly around his cup. The others were still. Tense. âI think⌠I saw your demon form,â you said softly.
Romanceâs smile vanished. Mystery immediately tucked himself tighter against your side. Baby stared at you, silent and unmoving, his gaze like ice.
You looked around the table. âI just⌠What are you? What do you look like?â
For a long moment, no one spoke. Then Jinu sighed. âWeâre not hiding anything from you.â
âWe justâŚâ Abby scratched the back of his neck. âWeâre not exactly cuddly in those forms.â
âSheâd still like me,â Mystery mumbled into his fruit.
âYou donât know that,â Abby grunted.
âI do.â
âWe literally glow purple and get creepy marks all over our faceââ
âShe thinks theyâre cool!â
âYour eyes turn gold like a cursed cat, bro.â
âShe likes cats!â
âBoys,â Jinu said firmly, not looking up from his tea. They went quiet instantly. He turned back to you. âWe will show you. In time.â
Romanceâs voice was softer than usual. âYouâve already seen us in your dreams. But dreams are hazy. Romantic. Weâre⌠not.â
âWe donât want to scare you,â Jinu said.
âIâm not scared,â you said too quickly.
Five sets of eyes landed on you at once. You shrank a little in your seat. âOkay. Maybe a little.â
Romance smiled sadly. âWeâd rather you see us when youâre ready. When the bond is strong enough that you feel what we are before you ever have to see it.â
Jinu reached for your hand gently. âWhen youâre ready,â he said again. âAnd when you are⌠weâll show you. All of us.â
You swallowed. Nodded. And returned to your pancakes, even though they didnât taste quite as sweet anymore.
After breakfast, youâre slipping on your coat when a warm hand wraps gently around your wrist. You turnâand Jinuâs already pulling you into the hallway beside the kitchen, just out of view of the others.
âJinu?â you ask, heartbeat stuttering. His touch isnât rough. But it isnât something you can ignore either. He says nothing for a moment. Just watches you in the soft light. His gaze flickers to your lips, then to your throat, then back to your eyes.
âI heard you wake up around five,â he says, voice low. âYour breathing changed.â
You blink. âYou⌠heard me?â
âI always hear you.â His thumb brushes over your wrist, tender. Like heâs memorizing the pulse there. âEven in my sleep.â
Your cheeks flush, and for a second you look downâbut Jinu lifts your chin with two fingers. âYou didnât come out of the room,â he says. âDid the dream scare you?â
You hesitate.
âItâs okay,â he adds, gentler now. âYou donât have to tell me. I just⌠wanted to see you before you left.â
âIâm fine,â you whisper. âReally.â
His eyes narrow like he doesnât quite believe youâbut he lets it go. For now. âI just needed to know,â he murmurs, stepping closer, âthat you didnât regret last night.â
Your breath catches.
Jinuâs face is barely an inch from yours now. His voice is like velvet wrapped in steel. âBecause if you did⌠Iâd find a way to make you forget the regret. Iâd replace it with something else.â
You donât move. Canât.
His hand cups your cheek, thumb brushing your skin like itâs sacred. âI know I said Iâd go slow,â he says, head tilting, âand I will. But when you kissed meâY/N, Iâve waited four hundred years to feel that again. If you ever change your mind⌠just know I wonât stop you next time.â
Your heart slams against your ribs. And thenâhe leans forward. But he doesnât kiss your lips. His lips graze your forehead, soft, reverent.
A mark. A brand. A promise. When he pulls back, his smile is smallâbut thereâs fire behind it.
âBe careful out there,â Jinu says, brushing a loose hair from your face. âDonât talk to anyone who looks at you too long.â
You raise a brow. âIs that a threat?â
âNo,â he says softly. âItâs a warning. For their sake.â And then he lets you go.
But as you step out the front door, you feel it: his gaze burning into your back like a tether. Like heâs already counting the seconds until you return.
ââââââââââ â ââââââââââ
The morning air nipped at your cheeks as you walked beside Abby down the sleepy Seoul street. The hem of your coat brushed your knees, and your fingers were wrapped tight around the coffee Abby insisted you holdâeven if you were about to clock into a cafĂŠ that sold twenty variations of the same drink.
âI still donât get why you have to work here,â Abby muttered for the third time this morning, tugging the strap of your bag higher on your shoulder like it offended him. âYou should be sleeping in. Eating fruit someone peeled for you. Or being worshipped. Like a normal girl.â
You glanced up at him. âA normal girl?â
âWell, a normal soulbound girl. Obviously.â
You snorted. âNot helping your argument.â
He didnât laugh. Just walked closer, his frame blocking the wind like a personal fortress.
At the cafĂŠ, he waited until you stepped safely inside before crossing his arms and glaring through the glass like the windows were one sneeze away from shattering. You pretended not to notice.
By midmorning, the scent of caramel and burnt espresso clung to your skin, and the line was a manageable trickle. Mystery had popped in an hour ago to leave a pack of honey biscuits on the counter (âIn case you didnât eat enough.â) and Baby had passed by tooânot entering, just lingering outside like a ghost in the reflection of the glass. You couldnât be sure, but you thought he was watching your manager. You tried not to think about it.
Then, of course, there was Romance.
He swept in at 11:47, in sunglasses and smugness, murmuring something about how coffee tastes better when you're watching the love of your life make it. Youâd rolled your eyes and told him to sit in the corner and stop causing a scene. He winked and obeyed.
Everything was going smoothly.
Until it wasnât.
The bell above the cafĂŠ door jingled sharplyâand something inside you prickled. The new customer wasnât odd at first glance: young, tall, dressed like a college student. But there was something off. Something in the way he looked around the cafĂŠ, not like a customer, but like he was searching.
You stiffened. Then he looked directly at youâand smiled. Your stomach dropped.
He walked to the counter, but didnât order. Just leaned in a little too close. âY/N, right?â he asked.
You blinked. âDo⌠do I know you?â
âNah,â he said. âBut I know you. Been seeing your name around. Cute face, too. Youâve got fans, you know.â
Something about his voice scraped at your nerves. You took a small step back. âSorry, youâll have to order something if youâre not here toââ
âYou smell different than I expected,â he said suddenly, nostrils flaring. âSweeter. Almost... too sweet.â
Your blood ran cold. He wasnât human. Before you could say another word, a deep growl split the air. And then Abby was there.
You didnât see the door open. Didnât hear him enter.
But suddenly, your coworker was shoved behind the counter, Romance was standing from his corner seat with eyes glowing faintly goldâand Abby had the stranger by the collar, slammed against the nearest wall with a crash that rattled the syrup bottles.
âYou have five seconds,â Abby snarled, voice low and rumbling, âto explain why a low-tier, trashborn demon thought it was smart to walk within ten feet of her.â
The stranger choked on his breath, writhing under the hold. âI didnâtâI was just curiousâ! The scentâsheâsââ
âYou looked at her,â Abby snapped. âYou spoke to her.â
âShe doesnât even know what she isâ!â The air changed. Abbyâs eyes darkened. Not just with anger. With promise. He leaned in, and his voice was a whisper made of knives.
âThen let me teach you what I am.â
The cafĂŠ was silent. Your coworkers frozen. Romance stepped between you and the others like a shield, hand on your lower back.
âClose your eyes, baby,â he murmured.
âAbby,â you calledâpanicked now. âAbby, stop.â
And maybe it was your voice that pulled him back. Or maybe it was the fact that the stranger was already whimpering, nose bloodied, eyes wide with terror.
Abby let him go. The demon crashed to the floor, wheezing. âLeave,â Abby said. âBefore I finish what I started.â
The demon scrambled, vanished out the door with supernatural speed. And still Abby stood there, fists clenched, chest heaving. His eyes scanned your face. âAre you okay?â
You nodded, throat tight. âYeah. I think so.â
Romance brushed your hair back, but didnât smile. âYouâre not supposed to be seen. Not like that. Wordâs spreading.â
âIâm⌠sorry,â you mumbled.
Abby looked like he wanted to punch something else. âNot your fault.â
Romanceâs jaw tightened. âWeâll talk later.â
But something was clear now. Crystal clear. You werenât safe. Even here.
And the boys? Theyâd burn the world to make sure you were.
ââââââââââ â ââââââââââ
The boys donât notice them, but Huntrix watches.
Perched across the street from the cafĂŠ, tucked behind a rusted bus stop, Zoey chews on her gum like itâs the last sin in Seoul.Â
They see it all. Abby bursting into the cafĂŠ without a sound. Romance standing from his seat like a prince with knives in his mouth. Y/N, frozen in confusion and fear, wide-eyed behind the counter.
And then it happens. Abby slams another demon against the wall so hard the menu board rattles. Miraâs hand twitches toward her weapon on instinctâbut she doesnât move.
âSheâs⌠still with them,â Mira says tightly, eyes fixed on the scene.
âNot just with them,â Zoey mutters. âTheyâre protecting her.â
âNo,â Mira says, trying to convince herself. âTheyâre using her. Shielding their asset.â
Zoey shakes her head, frowning. âThen why did he just attack another demon? That guy wasnât even hostile. Just sniffing around.â
âSheâs human,â Rumi says softly, still watching. âIâve scanned her three times. Sheâs not cursed. Not altered. No patterns. Sheâs⌠just a girl.â
âSo why are five demons orbiting her like sheâs the goddamn sun?â Zoey exclaims.
None of them answer.
Inside the cafĂŠ, the tension breaks. The intruder flees. Abby stays between Y/N and the rest of the world like her bodyguardâor her beast. They watch Romance reach for her shoulder.Â
Theyâre not acting. Theyâre not pretending. This isnât manipulation. Itâs something far more dangerous.
âThey care about her,â Rumi says finally. âOr⌠they think they do.â
Mira scoffs. âDemons donât care. They hunger. They cling to whatever theyâre trying to own.â
Rumi stays silent. But her hands are white-knuckled inside her sleeves, fists clenched so tight they tremble. Because sheâs seen something the others havenât. A memory she wasnât supposed to find.
Tucked deep in the bottom of a chest meant to stay lockedâa yellowed letter, written in ink faded with age and smudged by something darker. She found it years ago, back when she was still trying to piece together who her mother really was. A letter written in a language sheâd never been taught, yet somehow⌠understood.
A demonâs handwriting. The words bled longing. Grief. Worship. She remembered reading the last line over and over: âIf I burn for you, let me burn.â
Celine never talked about it. When Rumi asked about her mother, Celine only told her the same thing every time: âShe was a hunter. A good one. Until she got too close to what we kill.â
Back then, Rumi believed her. She had to. Celine saved her. Raised her. Trained her. Taught her to never trust a demonâs smile or a monsterâs promise. But nowâŚ
Now she watches Abby hover by Y/Nâs side, tension rippling under his skin every time a customer raises their voice at her. She watches Romance hover near like heâs her loyal shadow. She saw Jinu the other dayâcalm, regal, protectiveâglance at the girl like sheâs a prayer heâs still waiting to be answered.
It doesnât make sense. Demons donât protect humans. Demons donât get soft eyes and careful hands. Demons donât love.
Except⌠maybe they do.
Jinu once told herâin one of their secret meetings, just the two of them, when she let her guard slip for one secondââDemons feel. Some of us wish we didnât.â
She thought it was a line. Another ploy. But watching him now⌠watching them⌠She wonders if it was the truth. And if it isâif demons can really feel like thisâthen maybe her mother hadnât been weak. Maybe she hadnât been tricked. Maybe sheâd been in love.
And maybe what terrifies Rumi the most is the look on Y/Nâs face when the boys are near. Because it looks like recognition. It looks like longing. It looks⌠mutual.
And for the first time in her life, Rumi is unsure of everything she was taught to fight for.
ââââââââââ â ââââââââââ
Back at the apartment, the mood was sharpâtoo sharp.
The moment the front door closed behind you, the air thickened like static before a lightning strike. The boys didnât say anything at first. They just stared. Watched you kick off your shoes, shrug off your coat. Watched the way your hands shook slightly when you went to pour water into a glass.
Then Romance stepped forward. âYou need to quit,â he said.
You blinked. âExcuse me?â
âYour job,â Jinu added, arms crossed. âItâs too dangerous now.â
You laughed, but it came out awkward and dry. âYouâre all being dramatic. It wasnât that seriousâAbby handled it. I was fine.â
Abby stiffened beside you, jaw clenched. Jinuâs expression didnât move.
âItâs the second time,â Mystery said quietly from the corner, curled on the windowsill. Your stomach dropped. âWhat?â
âTwo days ago,â Baby murmured, arms folded and expression unreadable. âThere was demon scent on the cafĂŠâs back door. We didn't tell you. We thought it was just a scout.â
âI confirmed it,â Jinu said. âHe was watching you. You never saw him.â
Romanceâs eyes darkened, gold flickering like candlelight. âAnd now one tries to make contact in broad daylight. You think thatâs nothing?â
You looked between them, suddenly very, very aware of how much you hadnât been told.
âYouâre not safe there,â Jinu said firmly. âNot when we canât be around every second.â
You bristled. âOkay, but you are around. Literally all the time. I feel like Iâve got an army shadowing me every shiftââ
âBecause you do,â Baby said bluntly. âAnd itâs still not enough.â
You blink at him. âSo I just⌠give up my life?â
Romance softens instantly, like heâs pulling back on a leash. âWhat he means isâwe donât want to see anything happen to you. That cafĂŠâs a risk. Youâre vulnerable there. You donât need to be.â
You hesitate. And thenâclickâyour mind makes a connection. Their protectiveness. Their control. And something that never quite sat right with you.
You lift your eyes. â...What happened to Jae?â
The question silences the room. Romance doesnât miss a beat. He smiles gently. âAh. The guy from the club?â
âYeah,â you say. âHe was weird, but you didnât have toâwhat did you even do to him?â
âNothing permanent,â Romance says smoothly.
Your gaze sharpens. âRomance.â
He smiles too easily, all charm and warmth stretched over something colder. âI offered him a very friendly warning. Abby may have been more⌠direct.â
You narrow your eyes. âIs he okay?â
Romance tilts his head, fake-thinking. âHe probably wonât remember anything. A touch of glamour and a sprained wrist. Maybe a dislocated ego.â
You stare harder. âThatâs not funny.â
âBut itâs true,â he counters, smile curling. âAnd effective. He wonât bother you again.â
Thereâs a glint in his eyeâsomething too smooth, too polished. Manipulation wrapped in silk.
âYouâre lying,â you murmur. The air shifts.
âI told you,â Abby growls, stepping forward. âHe touched you.âÂ
You glance at his clenched fists. âWhat did you do to him?â
âHe doesnât matter,â Abby says flatly. âHe was going to hurt you. I saw it. I felt it.â
âThatâs not your call to make!â
âEverything about you is my call,â he growls. âBecause Iâll do what you wonât. Iâll cross the lines. So you donât have to.â
Your breath catches. You suddenly realize how close Abby is and the intensity of his stare.
âOkay,â Jinu says tightly. âEnough.â
Romance straightens his collar. âLet Abby calm her down. Sheâs overwhelmed.â
Jinu doesnât argue. He just nods once at Abby and you sigh, letting Abbyâs large frame usher you to your room. You wanted to have a word with him in private anyways.
Once the door was firmly shut, the four shared a knowing look with each other in the livingroom.Â
âShe wonât quit on her own,â Romance says.
Jinu doesnât respond. Heâs staring out the window, pensive.
âShe thinks itâs her choice. Thatâs adorable,â Romance continues with a bitter smile. âBut this situationâitâs pulling demons to her like flies. Theyâve always been curious, but now that they know where she is and that sheâs real.â Romance sneers. âTheir curiosity is going to kill them. And every one of them is a threat.â
Mysteryâs eyes narrow. âYou want to scare her.â
âNo,â Romance says smoothly. âI want to guide her. Nudge her toward the life she deserves. One where sheâs surrounded by people who love her more than air.â
âAnd youâll decide how that looks?â Jinuâs voice is quiet. Dangerous.
Romanceâs expression darkens just slightly. âYou saw her a minute ago. Sheâs already cracking. All Iâm doing is accelerating the inevitable.â
Baby finally speaks, voice a low echo: âWhat do you want us to do?â
Romanceâs smile returnsâcold and wicked. âNothing direct. Just⌠let the pieces fall. Let the cafĂŠ fall apart.â
Jinu sighs and turns. âNo fire.â
âNo blood,â Mystery adds. âShe wouldnât like that.â
Romance raises a hand, smug. âOf course not. Iâm not stupid. Sheâll leave on her own. And when she doesâŚâ His gaze sharpens. âSheâll see that weâre the only constant.â
ââââââââââ â ââââââââââ
Abby shuts the bedroom door behind him. Not with a slamâbut with finality.Â
You donât resist when he gently guides you toward the bed. He doesnât say much at first. Just pulls you into his arms, into the warmth of his chest like itâs instinct. You donât know if he means to, but his grip is tight. Fierce. His hand curls around the back of your head, like heâs afraid youâll vanish if he blinks too long.
âI donât want to fight with you,â he mutters.
âI know,â you whisper. You gaze at his arms that were wrapped tightly around you- the ones heâd use to inflict whatever violence necessary for your sake. Your eyes trail up his muscled limbs to his broad shoulders. There was a moment of silence before you spoke.Â
âI donât get it,â you whisper. âWhy are you like this?â
âLike what?â
âThisâŚâ You wave your hand vaguely. âOverprotective. Overbearing. Intense. Itâs like you canât breathe unless Iâm under lock and key.â
âI canât,â he says. Your heart skips. His voice is quiet. No teasing. No growl. Just truth. âI canât breathe when youâre not safe.â
You stare at him.
âI donât know how to do this slow,â Abby says. âI try, I swear I do. Jinu says wait. Mystery whines when I get too close. Baby glares like heâll gut me if I scare you. But I see you, and all I wanna do is keep you close. Wrap you in my arms and keep every bad thing away. Rip this world apart if it even thinks of touching you.â
You donât know what to say, so he keeps going.Â
âI wasn't always like this. Wasnât always... this thing you see now.â
You shift slightly in his arms, but his hold keeps you anchored. He exhales sharply and looks away. Not because heâs ashamedâbecause the memory still burns. Your heart tugs at the expression on his beautiful face. Tortured. Pained.
âTwo hundred fifty years ago,â he begins, âI was a general. Loyal to the court. Feared on the battlefield. A war dog for men in silk robes who never dirtied their hands.â You feel his fingers twitch against your back, like heâs gripping a blade only he can see.
âI bled for them. Killed for them. And the moment I became inconvenient, they left me to die in the mud. A spear through my gut. My men gone. My name forgotten.â His jaw tightens. You can hear the snarl heâs holding back.
âI wouldâve died. But I begged. Not to the heavensâbecause the heavens never answered me. I begged whatever thing was listening in the dark.â He turns his face, voice like ash. âAnd Gwi Ma answered.â Heâs silent for a beat. Your breath catches.
âI didnât die,â he says bitterly. âBut I wasnât human anymore either.â You feel his body tense beneath you as he continues, slower this time. âI wandered. Fed on pain. Destroyed anything that looked like mercy. Until I collapsed outside a village. Thought maybe Iâd die for real.â
He goes still. âAnd then you found me.â
Your heart stutters. His voice goes softer. Fragile, like something made of glass. âYou were a healer. Young. Too good. Too gentle. You knew I wasnât right. You saw the glow in my eyes, felt the heat in my skinâbut you stayed anyway.â
Your throat tightens. âYou stitched my wounds. You made me soup. You made me laugh. And I didnât even remember how.â
His voice breaks. âYou reminded me I used to be human. I think⌠you made me want to be one again.â
You say nothing. Just hold onto him tighter and let him tell you the story of how he came to be this way. You wished you remembered- like last night with Jinu. You wished you could share his pain.
âWhen bandits came, I snapped. I didnât even think. I justâprotected you. The village. Everyone.â A pause. âBut I lost control. The fire⌠it spread.â
Your blood goes cold.
âYou died in my arms, Y/N. Crying. You told me you werenât afraid. That you knew I tried to protect you.â He swallows. âBut that doesnât matter. Because I still killed you.â
You feel his hand press flat against your back like he could memorize the shape of you all over again. He tilts his forehead to yours, voice raw and trembling.Â
âIâd die a thousand times before I ever let that happen again.â Abbyâs voice is barely a whisper. âAnd so Iâm sorry⌠if you think Iâm too much. I justââ He swallows hard, jaw trembling. âI canât bear the thought of failing you again. Of standing by while the world takes you from me a second time.â
His hand moves to your cheek, thumb brushing under your eye like heâs memorizing every freckle, every blink. âIâve spent centuries reliving that moment,â he murmurs. âCenturies regretting every second I didnât hold you tighter. Protect you harder. Love you more.â
You feel the weight in his touchâthe devotion that borders on madness. Heâs looking at you like youâre the only thing anchoring him to the world.
And maybe you are.
His arms are still wrapped around you. His heartbeat loud against your ear. You feel his chest rise and fallâdeep, like heâs trying to calm a storm. Thereâs a long silence before he speaks again, voice low against your hair.
ââŚThereâs something I want you to know,â he murmurs. âMy name. My real one. From before.â
You lift your head, eyes searching his. He looks almost⌠shy. Noâvulnerable. Like this is the final part of himself heâs never dared to offer.
âI wasnât always âAbby.â Thatâs just a stage name. I find it kind of funny actuallyâ He chuckles lightly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.Â
You nod gently, your hand resting against his bare chest. âSo tell me,â you whisper.
He swallows. âIt was Haneul,â he says. âThat was my name, when I was still human.â
Haneul. The sound lingers on your tongue like silk and smoke. You let it roll in your mouth before saying it aloud:
ââŚHaneul.â
He shudders.
Itâs so soft, the reactionâso raw. His grip tightens around you instinctively. His lips part like you just breathed life into him. âSay it again,â he whispers. âPlease. Say it again.â
You lean in, brushing your lips to his cheek. âHaneul.â
A sharp breath escapes him. His eyes flutter shut, lashes trembling. You kiss the corner of his eye, your voice barely audible.
âHaneul.â
He exhales like heâs unraveling, hands fisting into your waist to keep himself steady. To keep you close. Like the name is both breaking him and putting him back together.
You kiss the other cheek, so softly he nearly flinches from how much it hurts. âHaneul.â
And thenâjust before your lips meet hisâyou say it again. For him. Only him. Â
âHaneul.â
He snaps.
AbbyâHaneulâsurges forward and devours you in a kiss. Itâs not gentle. Itâs not tame. Itâs a claiming, centuries in the making. His mouth slants over yours with aching hunger, hands pulling you into his lap like you belong there, like youâve always belonged there.
You do.
And he kisses you like your voice saying his name was the only salvation left in the world. And maybe⌠maybe it was. He groans against your mouth, like the feel of you hurts.
His hands tremble as they cradle your face, your neck, your backâas if he still doesnât believe youâre real. You feel his restraintâbarely holding himself back, like if he slips for even a second, heâll ruin everything. But itâs all so gentle. Worshipful. Like heâs afraid youâll vanish if he loves you too hard.
His shirt comes off in a rush of movement, as if it was the last thing keeping him distant. You press your palms to his bare chestâwarm, solid, steadyâand he shudders beneath your touch.
He lowers you both to the bed again, but this time youâre tangled together. Your legs brush. His skin grazes yours and he gasps like it burns in the best way.
He leans in, lips brushing your throat. He murmurs your name there like a prayer. Like a curse. Like a lifeline.
âIâll never let anyone touch you,â he whispers, breath hot. âI donât care who I have to kill. I donât care if the world calls me a monster. If it means keeping you safe, Iâll be all of it.â
You feel your heart trip over itself. It should scare you. But it doesnât. Because when he looks at you, when he touches you like this⌠it doesnât feel like obsession. It feels like truth.
Your fingers slide into his hair, clutching like heâs the only thing holding you together. He leans into your touch like heâs starving for it.
âSay you forgive me,â he chokes. âSay Iâm not too late.â
You meet his gazeâand itâs everything. Burning. Desperate. Holy. And so full of ruinous love it steals the air from your lungs.
âYouâre not too late,â you whisper, voice cracking. âIâm here.â
And Abbyâno, Haneul.
Haneul lets out a sound youâve never heard from him before. A small, broken thing. A sob and a breath all at once. Then he kisses you againâdeeper, slower, like the worldâs ending and this is the only moment that matters. His hands press into your waist like heâs grounding himself there. Like you are his redemption. His punishment. His salvation. And for the first time in centuries⌠Haneul lets himself believe he might deserve to hold you again.
Your fingers ghost over his chest, and he shivers. The planes of his body are carved like stone beneath your hands, warm and trembling under your touchâas if youâre something sacred, something he never thought heâd feel again.
Your lips part from his only to trail down the sharp line of his jaw, to the tense muscle of his neck. You kiss him softly there, and he lets out a hiss through his teeth. Itâs the kind of sound that curls heat through your spine. You donât stop. You kiss lower, slow and reverent, letting your lips brush the warm skin of his throat. He tips his head back, helpless.
âHaneul,â you murmur, pressing your lips to his collarbone.
He groans. His entire body bows toward you like heâs being pulled by gravity. Like your voice is the only anchor in a world he no longer trusts. You trail your hands down the ridges of his chest, the faint scars of old wounds hidden beneath his skin. He watches you, eyes wild with devotion.Â
âI dreamed of your hands,â he whispers hoarsely. âI used to wake up clawing at my own skin because I missed the way you touched me.â
You kiss the center of his chest and feel his heart stutter beneath your lips. His hands slide beneath your shirt now, palms warm, reverent as they explore your waist like heâs memorizing the shape of you. He ducks his head to your neck, brushes his lips down the slope of itâand then kisses the spot where your pulse flutters.
You gasp. And thatâs all it takes.
A low growl tears from his throat and he bitesânot hard, but enough to claim. Enough to make you gasp again, and this time his name spills from your lips like itâs the only thing you know.
His breath is ragged now, and his control is slipping. âSay it again,â he begs, lips against your throat. âJust once more.â
âHaneul,â you moan, and the way he shudders beneath you is almost violent. You feel the darkness curling at the edge of himâthe demon just beneath the surface, the possessive, desperate thing that would burn kingdoms for you. But he holds it back.
His forehead presses to yours. Your breath mingles. Your chests rise and fall in perfect sync. His thumb brushes along your cheek as he cradles you like youâre made of glass and starlight.
His voice is low. Gravel and longing. âIâll wait,â he breathes, fingers curling possessively around your waist. âAs long as you need. But donât think for a second I wonât claim you. One way or another, youâre mine.â
You stare at him. At the burn in his eyes. The way his body shakes beneath your touchânot from fear, but from restraint. Centuries of guilt. Of hunger. Of aching to be close and never having the right.
âI do want you,â you whisper, lips brushing his. âJust⌠not all at once.â
His eyes flutter shut. His jaw clenches like heâs holding back something feral. âThen Iâll take what you give,â he murmurs, lips brushing your temple. âAnd Iâll make you crave the rest.â
He kisses your cheek. Then the corner of your mouth. Then rests his forehead to yoursâyour breath, your warmth, your heartbeat the only thing grounding him. And in that silence, in the hush of your skin against his, you feel the bond ignite againâhotter now, needier. A thread wrapped around your ribs, pulling tighter. Claiming.
No more running. Not from him. Not from this.
Just you. In his lap. In his arms.
Exactly where heâs always known you belong.
TO BE CONTINUED
âââââââââ ŕźşđŕźť âââââââââ
A/N: Huahh Abby or (Haneul) got his turn! I wanted to give them each real names and not just stage names. I chose Haneul for Abby because it means âskyâ or âheaven.â Itâs poetic, gentle, and deeply symbolic. It's meant to tie into Abbyâs protector nature â someone who once soared high as a general but fell and now claws his way back for the one he loves. His love is vast, all-encompassing, eternal â like the sky. And thereâs an irony too: he fell from grace (heaven to hell), yet his name remains a tether to what he once was.
Let me know if you guys enjoyed this one! Comments, Likes, Reposts, I see them all and really appreciate all the support! Till Next Time!
Willa x.
âââââââââ âď˝ĄË âď¸ Ë・â âââââââââ
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#saja boys x reader#saja boys#kpop demon hunters#kpdh x reader#jinu x reader#abby x reader#mystery x reader#romance x reader#baby x reader#yandere#yandere saja boys#kpdh#jinu kpdh#kpdh x you#reverse harem#kdh#fic#The Crimson Pact
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After You - Satoru G.



about. after a devastating accident pulls you back to tokyo, the last person you expect to see again is gojo satoru â the man who shattered your heart a year ago. You swore you'd never forgive him. But heâs showing up in quiet mornings and rainy afternoons, offering everything you used to love. And no matter how hard you try⌠you still notice him.
pairings. Gojo x Fem!Reader
words. 12.69k
content. angst, exes to lovers (maybe), slow burn, heavy emotions, crying gojo, yelling reader, emotional breakdowns, single tulip at your door, âdonât touch meâ, âoh, toruâ, soft flashbacks, hospital scenes, self-sabotage, character growth, gojo on his knees, regret-filled apologies, comfort scenes, pacing in a hotel room, rainy confessions, âi miss youâ, sleepless nights, soft touches, holding back tears, emotional tension, love that still lingers
notes. stay up for part two??? winkwink, yll deserve a treat after this.
They say when something awful happens, time slows down.
But for you, it didnât.
It struck fast and cruel, like the sharp snap of a branch underfoot.
One moment you were rinsing toothpaste from your mouth, scrolling mindlessly through notifications, and the next, your phone was shaking in your hand, someone on the other end barely holding their voice together.
You donât even remember what they said exactly â only that he was in surgery, and it didnât sound good.
That was enough.
You were already grabbing whatever clothes you could find, already booking the next flight to Tokyo, already letting your vacation days burn for something that didnât feel like a break at all.
It had been a while since you heard his voice. Longer since youâd seen his face. But the second you heard the words accident and critical, something inside you collapsed without permission.
You hadnât cried yet.
Not really.
There wasnât time for it â only motion, only urgency, only movement that felt like survival.
The grief hadnât hit.
Not fully. But something close to it was blooming beneath your skin, a cold, buzzing panic that had followed you all the way from your apartment to the terminal to the cab ride now speeding toward the hospital.
You try not to think about who else might be at the hospital.
You havenât asked.
You couldnât bring yourself to.
The name lingers at the back of your throat like smoke â like a wound youâve trained yourself not to touch. Even now, even after all this time, even after all the healing youâve faked in Kyoto, you canât say it.
Not even in your head.
Not without feeling your jaw clench, your pulse kick up, your entire body remembering the sting of something you were never supposed to feel.
You wish you could say youâve moved on.
That the distance between then and now had softened the memory.
That you donât still flinch when certain songs come on, or when someone with white hair brushes past you too fast on the street.
You wish you could say it doesnât still live in you â that night, that voice, the sound of betrayal dressed in a whisper.
But it does, and it haunts you every damn time.
And thatâs why you donât let yourself say the name.
Not here.
Not yet.
Not when youâre this close to the hospital, this close to seeing him â the one who didnât hurt you. The one who never left, even when you did.
Suguru.
His name doesnât sting.
His name doesnât tremble when you think it.
He was steady, kind. Always there in the background, holding pieces no one else noticed youâd dropped.
The thought of him lying still in a hospital bed makes your stomach twist in ways you donât have words for. Youâve known him since your first year of high school â back when the world felt too big and the future felt too far. He was the calm between louder voices, the one who made space for you when everything else felt like too much.
You owe him everything. So when the hospital comes into view â tall, gray, humming under fluorescent lights â you square your shoulders and remind yourself why youâre here. Not for ghosts. Not for memories. Not for names you canât bring yourself to say.
Youâre here for the boy who never let you fall alone.
Youâre here for Suguru.
And if something else is waiting for you inside those walls?
Youâll deal with it when it finds you.
The hospital lobby is too bright. Thatâs the first thing you notice. Too white, too sterile, too cold. The kind of place where time moves weird â where minutes drag and hours vanish and the people sitting around you are all waiting for answers theyâre scared to hear.
Your bag hangs heavy off your shoulder as you step through the sliding glass doors. The air smells like bleach and something metallic beneath it. You donât look around. You just head to the front desk, voice barely steady as you say Suguruâs name.
The nurse gives you a room number and tells you gently, âThe surgery ended half an hour ago. Heâs stable for now.â
You nod, but your chest doesnât unclench.
They tell you youâll have to wait until the doctor clears visitors. So youâre directed to the family waiting room â tucked in a quiet hallway at the end of the cardiology wing. Youâre almost afraid to open the door.
But you do.
And the second you step in, you see her.
Shoko sits in the corner of the room, hunched forward with her elbows on her knees, a tissue clutched loosely in one hand. Her eyes are red, but her face is still. Blank. The kind of blank that only comes after hours of holding it in.
She looks up when she hears you enter.
And for a moment, she doesnât say anything.
Neither do you.
You just cross the room and kneel in front of her, the lump in your throat rising the second your eyes meet.
She was the one who called you.
Shoko hadnât always been part of your circle. She came halfway through high school â quiet at first, almost cold, until she wasnât. You didnât expect to grow close to her, but she stuck. A sharp tongue, a good heart. You shared notes, lighter moments, hungover mornings. Somehow, she became someone you trusted. And now sheâs here, holding herself like sheâll fall apart if she breathes too hard.
You reach for her hand, and her fingers curl tightly around yours.
âI got the call at 2AM,â she says. Her voice is hoarse. âThey said it was bad. That there was⌠blood. And broken ribs. Andââ She stops. Her mouth opens, then closes again. âThey didnât tell me if he was going to make it.â
You squeeze her hand. âHe will.â
She lets out a breath, shaky and half-laugh, half-sob. âYou donât know that.â
âI do,â you say, even though your voice cracks. âBecause heâs Suguru. Heâs stubborn as hell. He doesnât know how to leave.â
Shoko nods, but her lips are trembling now, and when her eyes meet yours again, whatever strength she was holding onto snaps.
The tears fall quietly. No sound at first â just her face crumpling as she leans forward and buries herself in your arms.
You hold her. Tight. The way you wish someone would hold you. Your hand finds the back of her head, and your other arm wraps around her shoulders as she finally breaks. Not loud. Not dramatic. Just broken.
You try to whisper something â Itâs okay. Youâre not alone. Iâm here. But your own voice wavers, and before you can stop it, your cheeks are wet too.
You donât even know who youâre crying for.
For Suguru, who didnât deserve this.
For Shoko, who held everything together alone for hours.
For yourself, for everything you left behind and everything youâre being forced to feel all over again.
You cry quietly, tucked into each other like the world outside the waiting room doesnât exist. Youâre not ready to face anything beyond these walls â not the doctors, not the machines, not the possibility of seeing him.
But for now, you donât have to.
You have Shoko. And she has you.
And maybe thatâs enough, just for this moment.
The waiting room stays quiet after that. Just soft footsteps from nurses in the hallway, the buzz of an old TV on low volume, and the occasional sniffle from Shoko as she tries to get her breathing under control. You donât say much. Neither of you need to. You just sit beside her, shoulder to shoulder, hands wrapped around bad vending machine coffee that tastes like burnt water and anxiety.
You checked your phone a few times, but thereâs no point. No missed calls. No new updates. Just time dragging its feet, and your knee bouncing without rhythm. At some point, you both gave up and wandered down the hall to the little hospital kiosk â bought crackers you never opened, a bottle of tea, a rice ball you didnât touch. The cashier didnât ask questions. You looked too tired for small talk.
The hours stretched thin after that.
Shoko eventually closed her eyes for a bit, curled up awkwardly in one of the waiting chairs, her lab coat draped around her like a blanket. You didnât sleep. You couldnât. You just sat there, chewing your lip raw and staring at the hallway.
And then â finally â the door opens.
You shoot up before your brain catches up. Shokoâs eyes snap open too, and you both stand at once when the doctor walks in.
He looks tired, like heâs been on his feet for hours, but thereâs a calm in his posture. A professionalism in his voice that makes you cling to every word.
âHe made it through surgery,â he says. âThere was a lot of internal bruising, several fractured ribs, and a ruptured spleen. The bleeding was significant, but we got to it in time. Heâs stable now. Still unconscious, but responsive to touch. Weâre keeping him under observation for the next twenty-four hours.â
You nod too quickly, almost like itâll make the information easier to digest. Shokoâs breath hitches beside you.
âYou can see him,â the doctor adds. âBut keep it short, please. He needs rest.â
You thank him, voice barely audible, then follow the quiet sound of his footsteps down the hall. The fluorescent lights feel too bright again. The tiles echo under your shoes.
When he stops at the room, something in your chest twists.
The doctor opens the door, gives a polite nod, and leaves.
You step in.
The beeping is the first thing you hear â soft and steady. Machines monitoring a rhythm that, hours ago, almost stopped entirely. The lights are dimmed low, and the smell of antiseptic clings to everything.
Suguru looks... small.
Not physically. Heâs still tall, still long-limbed, still very much the person you remember. But thereâs something in the way heâs lying there â skin pale, an oxygen line resting under his nose, his arm bandaged and strapped with IV lines â that makes your heart lurch into your throat.
You take slow steps to the side of his bed. Shoko hovers beside you, her hand covering her mouth like sheâs trying not to break again.
Thereâs a chair near the headboard, and you take it.
âHey,â you whisper. Your voice feels too loud, even though it barely comes out.
His eyes are shut. Thereâs a bruise just beneath his cheekbone, faint yellow mixed with violet. You wonder if he even knows youâre here.
Shoko steps closer, brushing a hand over his hair, like maybe thatâll wake him. She doesnât say anything either. Just stares down at him like she still canât believe itâs real.
You swallow thickly and rest your hand near his â not touching, but close enough that heâd feel it if he shifted.
âYou scared the shit out of us,â you murmur.
Still nothing.
But heâs breathing. Thatâs enough. For now, thatâs enough.
You lean back in the chair and press your palm to your chest, trying to quiet the chaos inside you.
Heâs here. Heâs alive.
And as long as he is â you can keep going.
Youâre not sure how long you sit there in silence, just watching the slow rise and fall of Suguruâs chest. His skin looks pale against the sheets. His lips are chapped. Thereâs a machine next to him that lets out a soft hiss every few seconds, and the sound digs under your skin like a pin.
Shoko stands near the window, arms crossed, eyes unfocused. She hasnât cried again, but you can still see the weight in her face â like somethingâs pressing down hard on her shoulders and sheâs too stubborn to fall under it.
You speak first, voice low. âDo they know what happened?â
She blinks, like the question had to filter through layers of static. âYeah,â she says. âYeah, the cops called me after I got here.â
You wait.
âThey said it was a truck. Some delivery driver lost controlâsnow slicked road, poor brakes. It was too fast. Hit Suguru on the driverâs side.â She swallows. âThey said he probably didnât even see it coming.â
Your fingers tighten in your lap. The thought of Suguru alone in a car, unaware, unable to stop what was comingâsomething about it twists in your stomach and wonât let go.
âThey said if the ambulance came two minutes laterâŚâ Shoko doesnât finish.
You donât ask her to.
The silence after is full. Not empty â just packed with things neither of you want to name. So you stare at the beeping monitor instead, and try to focus on the rhythm. It helps. A little.
Then Shokoâs phone rings.
She looks down, already irritated before she even sees the screen. But when she does, her lips press into a thin line. Her jaw flexes.
You donât need to ask.
You already know.
Itâs like your whole body freezes. Like your bones remember something your mind worked so hard to forget. You feel your pulse spike, chest tightening, the cold creeping in from somewhere deep inside.
âI should get this,â she mutters, eyes flicking toward you.
You donât move. You canât even nod. But sheâs already turning away, already answering.
âWhere are you, Satoru?â she snaps, low and sharp, the words like glass.
And just like that, itâs back.
His name.
Said out loud for the first time in a year. Like it never left the earth. Like it hasnât been rotting quietly in the dark corners of your memory. It lands heavy, sharp â like someone carved it straight into your skin without asking.
You inhale too fast. Look away. Pretend to focus on Suguruâs hand.
Shoko paces a little, voice hushed now but tense. âNoâdonât pull that. DonâtâSatoru, you shouldâve been here hours ago. He couldâve died.â
You bite the inside of your cheek. Hard.
Not now. This isnât about him. This isnât why youâre here. You came for Suguru â because heâs your friend. Because heâs family. Because he never broke you.
But you can hear Shokoâs voice still, even as she walks toward the hallway, trying not to disturb you.
âYeah. Sheâs here. What the hell do you expect me to say to her?â
Itâs too much.
Your chest tightens, and the room suddenly feels smaller â like the walls are pressing in, like the airâs been sucked out. You stare at Suguru harder, like maybe heâll wake up and give you something to cling to. A joke. A complaint. A tired smirk.
But heâs asleep. And he is coming.
You push your chair back, quietly. The scrape of the legs on the tile is soft but enough to break Shokoâs focus for a second. She glances back, still holding the phone against her ear, and your eyes meet.
You donât say anything.
You just need to leave before you fall apart.
You need air. You need to walk. You need to remember how to exist without his name ringing in your ears.
Because four years ended on a Tuesday.
Just like that.
And now heâs coming back into your life like the silence he left behind wasnât loud enough.
You wonât break.
Not for him.
Not again.
You donât wait for her to come back in fully.
Youâve already grabbed your bag from the floor, fingers fumbling for the zipper, pretending youâre not moving too fast, pretending your heart isnât crashing against your ribs like a trapped thing.
Shoko steps into the room slowly, her phone still in her hand, like sheâs trying to approach you without startling you.
âY/Nââ she starts, but doesnât get the whole sentence out.
Youâre already swinging your bag over your shoulder. âI need to check in. I havenât⌠I havenât rented anything yet. I need to figure that out.â
She frowns. âWhat?â
âI mean, I was thinking of staying somewhere for a few weeks. Like that Mimaru place in Ueno East. The one with the little kitchen. I think I saw a listing still open. I need to book it nowâwhile I still can.â
Youâre not making sense. You both know it. But your voice keeps pushing forward, carrying you through the panic, through the fog, like if you just keep talking, none of this will catch up to you.
Shoko steps in front of you before you can reach the door. âY/N.â
You wonât look at her.
She exhales hard, trying again. âHeâs coming. Satoruâs on his way.â
Your eyes snap up. The name, again. Spoken like it doesnât hurt. But it does. It cracks something inside you, sharp and instant.
âI know,â you say flatly. âThatâs why I need to go.â
âY/N, waitââ
âI came here for Suguru,â you say, louder now, your voice starting to shake. âNot for him. I didnât ask to see him. I didnât want to see him. I canât.â
Shokoâs expression tightens. Her eyes soften, but her jaw sets with a kind of stubborn kindness only she could pull off.
âThis isnât about you and him right now.â
Your laugh is bitter, short. âNo? It feels pretty damn close.â
âIâm still mad about it,â she snaps. âDo you think I forgave him? I havenât. I still want to punch him every time I remember what he did to you. But this isnât about him. Or about you. This is about Suguru. He needs both of you here. Whether you like it or not.â
You shake your head. âI canât be in the same room as him, Shoko.â
âThen donât talk to him.â Her voice is quieter now, but firmer. âDonât look at him. Just stay. For Suguru. Thatâs all Iâm asking.â
You stare at her, trying to find something to fight with â a reason, an excuse, anything that doesnât sound like Iâm scared, because thatâs what it really is. Youâre scared. Of how heâll look at you. Of how your voice might betray you. Of the way your heart is already acting like it remembers him â and it shouldnât.
Shoko sees it. All of it. You donât say a word, but your silence screams.
She takes a step closer.
âThis is the first time Iâve seen you in a year,â she says quietly. âA whole year, Y/N.â
Your lips part, but nothing comes out.
âI missed you.â
Her voice is so soft, it lands right where your defenses are thinnest. You look at her â really look â and you see it in her face: everything sheâs carried, everything sheâs held together without you. You werenât the only one who lost something when you left.
The room stays still for a long beat.
And you?
You just hold your bag a little tighter. Because youâre not sure what else you can hold onto right now.
Youâve been staring at your phone for the last twenty minutes, screen dim, thumb barely scrolling. Youâre not reading anything. Not really. You just need something to look at that isnât the door. Something to occupy the space inside your chest thatâs been on high alert ever since Shoko stood up and said, âIâll go get him.â
You didnât ask her to.
But you didnât stop her either.
Suguru hasnât moved. His breathing stays slow, steady, the beeping of the monitors calm like heâs just napping after a long night. Every few minutes, your gaze drifts from your phone back to him. You wonder what heâd say if he were awake. You wonder if heâd be pissed or grateful. Maybe both. He was always better at reading people than you were.
You check the time again. The hallway outside is too quiet.
And then â footsteps.
Two pairs. Light, but unhurried. The sound of them makes something cold unfurl in your stomach.
You donât lift your head. You donât need to.
Heâs here.
You knew he was. You felt it before Shoko even said she was going to meet him at the entrance â probably so the nurses wouldnât assume he was some random six-foot-two man barging into the ICU like he owned the place. Because thatâs what he looked like. Always did.
Even now, when Shoko opens the door and walks in first, your spine goes stiff.
And then he enters.
You donât raise your eyes at first. You feel it instead â the way the air in the room shifts like it always used to. The weight of him. The gravity. It always demanded your attention.
And slowly, inevitably, you look up.
The same white hair. Tousled, like he ran his hand through it on the way here. No blindfold. No sunglasses. Just those eyes â the ones that used to soften when they looked at you, like you were something holy.
Theyâre just blue now. Plain and clear and impossible to forget.
You donât mean to stare.
But in that second, you remember everything.
The way he used to walk you home, flicking your forehead and laughing at how dramatic you were. The way he used to kiss the top of your head like it was second nature. The night you fell asleep in his lap while he crammed for a test he never studied for. The four years of being so stupidly, completely his.
And then â the night you werenât enough.
The night he told you everything and cried while you sat there, feeling like something hollow and discarded. The night you walked out of his apartment with a suitcase in your hand and everything else in pieces.
Your eyes drop back to Suguru, and you donât look again.
He almost says something. You hear the breath catch in his throat, like heâs reaching for your name.
But Shoko is faster.
âDonât talk to her,â she says under her breath, cutting her eyes toward him like a warning. âGive her space.â
A beat. And then he exhales â long and quiet, like it knocked something loose in his chest.
You keep your eyes on Suguru.
Because you came for him. Not for this. Not for him.
Satoru bites it back. Sighs, low and tired. Rubs the back of his neck.
Because sheâs right.
You donât owe him a damn thing. Not a word. Not a look.
He hurt you â ruined everything â in one night.
And now?
Now youâre sitting there like the four years he loved you never happened at all.
But youâre still the most beautiful thing in the room.
And heâs still the one who destroyed it.
You hadnât meant to remember.
But sometimes, when the room gets too still â when the hum of the fridge starts to sound like silence, when the chair beneath you feels too familiar â it creeps back in. All of it.
The mornings first.
You used to wake up in a sun-drenched room that wasnât yours, pressed beneath heavy sheets and even heavier limbs. Satoru always slept like he was trying to pin you to the mattress. A leg flung over yours. Arms around your waist. Sometimes his face buried in your shoulder, breath warm on your skin as he mumbled nonsense in his sleep.
He was terrible at waking up.
Always five alarms deep, groaning, dragging himself out of bed like gravity only worked on him. But for you? He made coffee. Every time. Milk and one sugar. Sometimes he forgot the sugar and tried to kiss it back into your mouth later, laughing when you told him he tasted like regret and half-burnt toast.
You used to study together â or at least, you tried to. Satoru got bored easily. Youâd be neck-deep in notes while he stacked highlighters into towers or played with your hair, asking what you thought youâd name your future dog. Somehow, you always let him distract you.
Some nights you sat in the tiny ramen shop near the corner of your dorms, sharing pork broth and teasing him about getting extra noodles when he was already full. He never listened. Always said, âIf I die, at least itâs with miso in my veins.â
He was loud in crowds, but soft with you. Always softer with you.
Fingers brushing yours under tables. A kiss to the side of your head as you walked. His hand resting on the back of your neck when you leaned forward â like he needed the contact, even in silence.
He took pictures of you when you werenât looking.
And then laughed when you caught him.
You fought sometimes. Of course you did. Over nothing and everything â who forgot to text, who didnât show up on time, what he said that came out too sharp. But he always came back. Always found you.
The rooftop of the engineering building. The lawn under the cherry blossom trees in spring. That 24-hour diner you hated but he loved, with neon lights that made your skin look like paper.
He made you laugh until your ribs hurt.
He danced with you in the hallway once, music playing from his phone speaker, swaying clumsily in socked feet on polished floor. Told you, âThis is what people mean when they say forever.â
And you believed him.
God, you really did.
You memorized the shape of him â the curve of his grin, the dip of his collarbone, the little mole near his jaw he always forgot about.
He was your first home that wasnât a place.
And for a while... it felt like enough.
It felt like always.
You didnât just love him.
You chose him.
Again and again, even when it didnât make sense. Even when everything else told you not to.
It wasnât just coffee in the mornings and laughter under cherry blossoms. It wasnât just the warm way heâd look at you when he thought you werenât watching.
It was the night he drank too much after bombing a midterm he swore he didnât care about. You were halfway through your own exam â thirty minutes in, pen moving furiously â when your phone started buzzing in your lap. Over and over. Shoko. Then Nanami. Then finally, a stranger.
The bar managerâs voice was sharp. Impatient. âIs this Y/N? You need to get down here now. Heâs making a scene.â
You didnât finish the test.
Didnât explain. Didnât even grab your jacket.
You just ran.
All the way to the cheap bar two blocks off campus where Satoru was slumped in a booth, laughing too loud, eyes glassy, one arm hanging off the edge like he was too big for the world. People were staring. A manager was yelling. Telling you they should call the cops. That he wasnât your problem.
But he was.
He always was.
You apologized until your voice went hoarse. Helped him up even though he was twice your size. Held his hand like it could shield you both from the embarrassment burning up your cheeks. Got him home, into his room, into bed, and stayed by his side the whole night while he muttered half-coherent regrets into the pillow.
You missed the exam.
Your professor didnât let you retake it.
Your parents didnât understand either.
âYou're throwing your future away for some boy?â âHe can take care of himself, Y/N â why is it always you picking him up?â âHeâs not your responsibility.â
But you loved him.
And that made it worth it.
At least back then, it did.
He had this way of holding your face when you cried. Like nothing else existed. Like your sadness deserved reverence. His thumbs would brush under your eyes, soft and steady, and heâd whisper things like, âIf it hurts, Iâll make it stop. You just tell me how.â
He made you believe he could fix anything.
That nothing could go wrong as long as you had him.
Heâd show up to your apartment with cheap takeout and a new playlist, saying, âYou looked tired in your texts. This is recovery food and sonic healing.â
Heâd kiss your knuckles in the middle of arguments, just to calm you down.
Heâd carry your backpack after class even when you said it was fine. âItâs not about weight,â he said once, âitâs about letting you know Iâm here.â
And God, you let him be there.
Even when it cost you sleep.
Even when it cost you grades.
Even when it started to cost you you.
Because being with Satoru made you feel like you were bulletproof â like nothing could touch you, not the world, not failure, not loneliness. He filled your days with so much light, you didnât realize how dim you were becoming just to keep him shining.
You gave him everything.
Even the ugly parts. The selfish parts. The ones youâd never shown anyone else.
You gave him the parts of you that you now wish youâd saved.
Because at the time, you thought heâd keep them safe.
And for a while⌠He did.
It had been raining that week too.
Not softly. Not romantic or warm. Just endless, grey, and cold â the kind of weather that felt like it was leaking through the cracks in your life.
Things had been rocky for a while. A month, maybe more. Missed calls. Short replies. Less eye contact. More space between your bodies in bed.
You told yourself it was stress. Finals. His internship. The late nights, the shift in his tone when you asked where heâd been. You told yourself not to spiral.
Until the night he came home at one in the morning.
The dorm was dark. Just the little desk lamp you kept on while studying, your notes spread out in front of you, highlighter ink staining your fingertips. You were barely awake. Shoulders tense, eyes sore.
You didnât even hear the door unlock.
You only noticed when the floor creaked â and then there he was, dripping rainwater on the hardwood, wiping his shoes half-heartedly on the mat.
He looked exhausted.
But not in the way you did.
You stared at him for a second.
Then said quietly, âYou didnât text.â
He ran a hand through his hair, didnât look at you. âI figured you were busy.â
âI was. Still am.â
And when he finally turned his head, you saw it.
Just a flicker of it. Half-hidden beneath the line of his jaw, peeking out from the collar of his hoodie.
A kiss mark.
Faint. But real.
You froze.
He didnât notice â or maybe he did. Maybe he thought you wouldnât say anything.
But you did.
ââŚWhatâs on your neck?â
His mouth twitched.
âWhat?â
âYour neck,â you repeated, voice thin. âWhat is that?â
He didnât answer.
And you knew.
You knew.
You pushed back your chair. Stood. Let the question fall again, louder, uglier, something in your throat already cracking:
âWho was it?â
He scoffed.
Like it was ridiculous.
Like you were.
âSeriously?â he said. âYouâre going to start this now?â
âStartâ? Are you fucking kidding meâ?â
âItâs not a big deal,â he muttered, already walking past you toward the kitchen. âGod, I was drunk.â
Your chest burned.
âDrunk?â You followed him. âYou let someone put their mouth on you and youâre calling it not a big deal?â
âIt wasnât. I didnât mean for it to happen, alright?â
Your voice splintered.
âSo it did happen.â
That made him pause.
And when he turned around, something in his face was wrong. Not defensive. Not even sorry.
Just tired.
Like this conversation bored him.
âLook,â he said, âI was overwhelmed. You donâtâ You donât understand what itâs been like lately. Everythingâs too fucking much, alright? I canât breathe around you anymore.â
Your stomach dropped.
âWhat?â
âYouâre always hovering,â he snapped. âAlways checking in. Always making things heavy. You act like Iâm your responsibility or something. I didnât ask you to give up your classes for me. I didnât ask you to pick me up from every shitty bar or cover for me with your parentsââ
âI did that because I loved you,â you choked.
âYeah? Well it doesnât feel like love. It feels like guilt. Like pressure. Like I canât mess up without you holding it over my head.â
You stared at him.
And you realized something, in that moment.
He didnât just betray you.
He resented you.
Everything you did â the nights you skipped sleep, the classes you missed, the way you fought for him harder than you ever fought for yourself â he hated it. He hated being held up like that. He hated the version of you that refused to leave, even when he gave you reasons to.
And he hated how small it made him feel.
âThen why didnât you just say it?â you whispered. âWhy didnât you just tell me you didnât want me anymore?â
Satoru looked away.
He didnât answer.
He didnât apologize.
You waited for him to say something that could undo it. Even now, even bleeding â you waited.
But all he said was:
âI didnât think it would get this far.â
That was the moment something inside you died.
The part that still believed in him.
The part that thought maybe you were different. That the four years, the late-night confessions, the mornings wrapped in each other â that it all meant something solid. Something real.
Instead, you stood there in a room full of shattered promises, rain pounding against the windows like it was trying to drown out the silence between you.
You grabbed your coat.
He didnât stop you.
Didnât reach for your hand.
Didnât chase you down the hallway or beg you to stay.
Because you werenât his anymore.
Not after that.
Not ever again.
The hotel room is too quiet.
Youâre curled into the corner of the couch, knees drawn up, a cup of coffee resting warm between your palms. The city outside your window is buzzing â lights flashing, cars passing â but in here, itâs still.
Still enough for old ghosts to come knocking.
Your laptop sits forgotten in your lap, the screen dimmed out minutes ago, maybe longer. You donât remember what you were typing. You barely remember what you were thinking. All you know is that your brain hasnât stopped spinning since the hospital.
Since you saw him.
It wasnât the face that undid you â though even now, you can see it in the reflection of the black screen. White hair. Blue eyes. The shadow of a man you used to love more than you loved your own future.
No â it was the memory.
It came back fast. Uninvited.
One minute you were standing in that sterile room next to Shoko, pretending you didnât feel him looking at you. The next, you were back in that tiny dorm, the rain against the window, his voice in your ears again like a curse.
"I didnât think it would get this far."
That.
That was the part that still makes your throat close.
Not the cheating.
Not even the kiss mark on his neck.
But the way he made your love feel like an accident.
Like some burden he didnât ask for. Something you did wrong.
And you hate him for that.
You fucking hate him.
You hate how those words still live in your chest like splinters. How even now, a year later, after therapy and silence and pretending youâre healed, the memory still makes your coffee taste bitter.
You stare down into the mug.
Itâs lukewarm now. You should get up. Reheat it. Do anything other than sit here and replay what broke you.
But your body wonât move.
Because thereâs a part of you â the part you thought you buried â that still wonders what you did to deserve it.
That part is quieter now, sure. Duller. But itâs there.
It whispers things you donât want to hear.
That maybe you were too much. That maybe loving someone that hard was suffocating. That maybe if you had justâ
You stop yourself.
You swallow it down.
Because no. No â fuck that.
You didnât break the promise. You didnât kiss someone else. You didnât turn four years into a footnote just because things got hard.
He did that.
He chose that.
And no amount of blue eyes or half-hearted apologies will ever change it.
You press the coffee to your lips, even though itâs cold.
Even though it tastes like memory.
And somewhere in your chest, the hate sits quietly â not burning, not loud. Just there.
Heavy, unmovable and earned.
The hotel room was too still.
Too quiet without Shoko's tired sighs or your footsteps moving from the kitchen to the bathroom. No clinking mugs, no charger cords stretched across the bed, no rustling of your oversized hoodie as you curled up with your laptop. Just... silence. And the heavy hum of the air conditioner that sounded too much like guilt.
Satoru leaned back against the headboard, still fully dressed. Jacket unzipped, shoes on, fingers twitching at his sides like they were looking for something to hold onto. But there was nothing left to hold.
You were gone.
And he felt it â finally, in full.
He stared at the bedside lamp, too dim. The walls, too blank. His chest, too fucking empty.
It had taken him a long time to realize what your absence meant. Months, maybe. At first, he called it space. Told himself he was giving you room to âcool off,â to âthink.â As if you were the one who needed to apologize.
But then a week passed.
And another.
And then⌠it hit him.
Not in a dramatic way. No thunderstrike. No collapse.
Just little things.
Like how no one reminded him to eat before heading out to meetings.
How his keys were always missing now, and you werenât there to laugh and say âLeft side coat pocket, dumbass.â
How his apartment stayed cold all the time. How the bathroom floor was always wet. How the playlist in his car kept skipping over the songs you used to sing quietly along to â not because he removed them, but because he couldnât bring himself to listen anymore.
And then it hit harder.
The way his laundry piled up. The way his calendar never got updated. The way he showed up late to everything, forgot birthdays, left unread emails for days.
You used to handle those things. Not because you had to.
But because you wanted to.
Because you loved him.
And Satoru hadnât even realized.
He hadnât seen how much of his life you filled â how much of his chaos you softened with a simple glance, a kiss to the shoulder, a quiet, âHey, itâs okay, Iâve got this.â
He took it all for granted.
Your steadiness. Your small routines. The way you made his favorite tea when he was too exhausted to lift a finger. How you made to-do lists for him and stuck them to the mirror in neon pink sticky notes that always ended with â⼠please donât forget.â
He remembered the time he was sick for three days and you stayed up, head foggy from your own fever, just to make sure he drank water. The time he failed a certification test and you said nothing â just let him lay in your lap and cry, fingers stroking his hair until he fell asleep.
You never asked for thanks.
You never asked for anything.
And he gave you everything but loyalty.
Now, sitting in this goddamn hotel room with the overpriced minibar and the empty second pillow, he finally saw it.
He wouldâve given his blood, his name, his stupid pride â anything â just to hear you laugh again.
That soft, slightly breathless laugh when he said something dumb. The kind that made your nose scrunch and your eyes soften like he was the only boy in the world.
And now it was gone.
You were gone.
And heâd never hated himself more than in this moment â not when you cried, not even when he walked out of your apartment for the last time.
It was now, in the silence.
In the knowing.
That he let something extraordinary slip through his hands â and he did it thinking heâd still have time.
He thought he could fuck up and still be loved.
He thought youâd always come back.
And he was wrong.
So devastatingly, gut-wrenchingly wrong.
Thereâs a knock at the door.
Sharp. Twice.
Satoru doesnât move at first. He doesnât want to deal with anyone, let alone a hotel staff member asking if he wants fresh towels. But then the door handle turns, and only one person on earth would be both ballsy and polite enough to knock before breaking in.
Nanami.
âYou look like shit,â he says bluntly, stepping inside.
Satoru doesnât respond. Just stares ahead at nothing, still slouched against the headboard, still in yesterdayâs clothes, still silent.
Nanami doesnât expect a hello. He just sets down the takeout bag in his hand and walks over to the chair by the window, shrugging off his coat.
âYou havenât left this room in two days,â he says. âShoko told me.â
Satoru exhales. A bitter, tired sound.
âIâve had worse.â
âI donât doubt that,â Nanami says, crossing one leg over the other. âBut this is pathetic. Even for you.â
Satoru finally shifts â just enough to glance over.
âYou came here to insult me?â
âNo,â Nanami says coolly. âI came here so youâd stop marinating in your own regret like a dying poet.â
Satoru snorts.
Then falls quiet again.
A beat passes. The air is thick.
Then, without looking over, Satoru mutters:
ââŚYou think sheâll take me back?â
Nanami doesnât answer right away.
He leans back in the chair. Eyes him for a long, quiet second.
âNo,â he says, flatly.
Satoru flinches. Just a little. Like he was hoping for something softer, even from him.
But Nanamiâs never been one to sugarcoat truth.
âNot now. Maybe not ever.â
Satoru rubs a hand down his face. His fingers twitch in his lap.
âShe wonât even look at me,â he says, voice low. âAt the hospital, she just sat there. Like I was invisible.â
Nanami nods.
âShe should.â
Satoru glances at him, brows drawn.
And Nanami continues, tone calm but cutting.
âShe loved you like you hung the stars. Gave you her time, her future, her energy â all without asking for anything back. And you... what? You broke her. Because what â you got scared? Bored? Tempted?â
âI fucked up,â Satoru says, almost choking on the words. âI know that.â
âDo you?â
âDonât do that,â he snaps. âDonât act like I donât careââ
âIâm not saying you donât,â Nanami cuts in. âIâm saying caring doesnât undo what you did.â
Satoru looks away.
Silence again.
Until finallyâ
âI miss her so much, Nanami.â
And this time itâs not snark. Not deflection. Itâs raw. Soft. A wound speaking directly.
âI canât sleep,â he says, eyes glossing over. âI keep checking my phone like sheâs going to message. I keep thinking Iâll bump into her at that stupid bento shop she likes. Iââ
He breaks off. Exhales shakily.
âI remember everything. The way sheâd wake me up by pulling the blanket off. The way sheâd tie her hair in a lazy bun and still look prettier than anyone else. She used to hum when she studied. I used to hate that sound but now itâs the only thing I want to hear.â
Nanami stays quiet.
Lets him spill.
âI didnât think sheâd really leave,â Satoru says, quieter now. âI thought⌠no matter how bad it got, sheâd stillââ
âBut she did,â Nanami interrupts. âShe did leave. Because she had to.â
Satoru clenches his jaw. Stares at the floor.
And Nanami softens â just a little.
âShe loved you,â he says. âMaybe still does. But donât confuse love with forgiveness.â
Satoru doesnât reply.
Nanami leans forward. Folds his hands together.
âIf you want her back,â he says slowly, âthen fix yourself. And not for her â for you. Because the man she loved wouldnât have done what you did. And right now, sheâs mourning him.â
Satoruâs throat tightens.
And in the quiet that follows, he finally understandsâ
You didnât just walk away.
You grieved him.
The version of him that held you up when the world got too loud. The boy who remembered your drink order, who studied your face like scripture, who promised you forever and meant it â once.
And now, if he ever wants you back...
He has to become him again, or lose you forever.
It started small.
The morning after Nanamiâs visit, Satoru was out of bed before nine for the first time in a month.
No excuses. No dragging. He just got up.
He shaved. Trimmed the chaos that had started taking root under his jaw. Cleaned out his inbox. Replied to four different emails that had been blinking red for a week. Caught up on overdue reports. Folded the wrinkled laundry that had been thrown over the back of his couch since god-knows-when.
Old Satoru wouldnât have done any of that.
Old Satoru wouldâve rolled over, groaned, and told the world to wait.
But the old Satoru didnât have to see you in the hallway every morning with your clipboard and your unreadable face, your footsteps quick and careful, your eyes never lingering for long.
The old Satoru didnât know what it felt like to be invisible to the only person he still cared about.
The first few days passed slow.
Suguru still didnât wake up. Shoko said it was normal â healing was complicated. But Satoru started showing up every evening, sitting quietly by the window, watching you from across the room as you read or dozed or just⌠stared.
You never acknowledged him.
He didnât expect you to.
But that didnât stop him from hoping.
On the third day, he brought coffee.
Two cups.
He walked into the room like it was casual, like it didnât mean anything, even though his heart was fucking racing. He held out the one you liked â same brand, same custom syrup pump you always asked for â and waited.
You didnât even look at it.
Just reached into your bag, pulled out your own drink, and set it next to you without a word.
Satoru stood there for a second, awkwardly holding two coffees like a dumbass.
ââŚYeah, okay,â he muttered, forcing a smile. âI mean, Iâll take both. Thatâs fine. Iâm kind of sleepy anyway.â
You didnât respond.
Didnât even blink.
He sat down in the corner and drank both.
It was bitter. It stung. But he drank every drop.
Later that night, he got back to his apartment and opened up his calendar for the first time in ages. Started color-coding deadlines. Deleted all the mindless things that used to fill his days â the parties, the after-work bar crawls, the late-night games that ended in blurry mornings and hangovers.
He started doing things differently.
Up early.
Work first.
Texting Nanami back on time. Saying thank you to the admin assistants. Actually sitting in team meetings without slouching and zoning out.
He didnât tell anyone why.
Didnât say your name.
But they all noticed.
Even the higher-ups. The ones who used to roll their eyes when he sauntered in late with sunglasses and a grin.
âAbout time you cleaned up,â one of them muttered when he handed in a project two days early.
Satoru didnât react.
He just nodded.
And went back to work.
Then came the rain.
The kind that turned the city into a blur of umbrellas and blurry headlights.
He was already waiting near the hospital entrance, standing under the awning, sipping a warm can of coffee from the vending machine when he saw you coming from the crosswalk â no umbrella, shoulders hunched, phone pressed to your ear.
Instinct moved him before logic could stop it.
He jogged forward, umbrella open, arm already outstretched as he stepped into your path.
âHere,â he said gently. âLet meââ
You looked at him.
And then walked faster.
No words.
No hesitation.
Just a sharp, desperate speed-walk that ended with you darting under the building overhang, water dripping from your sleeves.
He stood there in the rain like a statue, still holding the umbrella, watching your back disappear into the building.
And he swallowed it.
Didnât chase. Didnât speak.
He just walked back to the vending machine.
And bought another can of coffee.
Because even if you didnât want his help, even if you didnât want to be near him â he did want to be better.
Not just for you.
But because he hated the version of himself you had to leave.
Back at work, things changed more.
He started showing up to staff meetings early. Left detailed notes for people who missed presentations. Picked up projects he usually wouldâve pawned off. He even reached out to Suguruâs old team â offered to help cover while they waited for him to recover.
He said it was out of obligation.
But everyone knew.
It was guilt. It was hope.
It was you.
A week passed like that.
With silent coffees. Awkward hallway glances. You ignoring him in every room. And Satoru not asking for more than that.
He didnât deserve it yet.
But he was trying.
God, he was trying.
He was halfway through a meeting when his phone buzzed.
He didnât even glance at the caller ID. Just grabbed it, eyes still on the spreadsheet his coworker was rambling about â until he heard her voice.
âHey,â Shoko said. She sounded⌠different. Lighter. Like something huge had just cracked open.
âHeâs awake.â
That was all she needed to say.
Satoru didnât respond â didnât even bother with a âthanksâ â just stood up mid-meeting, shoved his laptop shut, and practically ran out of the office with his blazer flapping behind him and a half-apology to Nanami trailing off in his wake.
The drive felt like a blur. Like time didnât matter. The whole world melted around the edges, and all he could think about was Suguru. Awake. Breathing. Alive.
By the time he pushed through the hospital doors, his pulse was racing.
And when he reached the roomâ
He stopped.
You were already there.
And for the first time in a year, he saw it.
Your smile.
Not polite. Not forced. Real.
It was soft, crooked, slightly teary â the kind of smile people only made when they thought theyâd lost something for good and finally got it back.
You were leaning over Suguruâs bed, whispering something that made him grin, bandaged and groggy but alive, eyes warm even through the haze of meds. Your hand was resting near his â not touching, but close enough to feel like home.
And thenâ
âLook what the cat dragged in,â Suguru muttered with a hoarse laugh.
Satoru blinked.
And then that grin â the old one, the bright, obnoxious, Satoru fucking Gojo grin â stretched across his face.
âWell, well, well,â he said, stepping inside like he hadnât just been holding back tears in the hallway. âTook you long enough, Sleeping Beauty.â
Suguru snorted. âYeah, yeah. Whereâs my kiss, then?â
âOh, donât tempt me.â
âYouâre not my type.â
Satoru laughed. It came out louder than he meant, unfiltered and boyish and almost too much â but Suguru chuckled too, and suddenly, it felt like college again. Like rooftops and vending machine snacks and stupid inside jokes that never really left them.
They bantered for a while â something about Suguru's gross hospital food, how Shoko would definitely milk this for free drinks, how Nanami probably scolded the surgeon about punctuality. You giggled under your breath once or twice.
And thenâ
He looked at you.
And this time, you didnât look away.
Your eyes found his.
And you smiled.
Small. Hesitant. But bright.
Like maybe⌠maybe this didnât have to be permanent.
Like maybe, just maybe, there was still something left.
Something worth rebuilding.
Satoruâs breath caught in his throat â just for a second. Just long enough for his chest to swell, full of something warm and familiar and just a little bit fragile.
Because after all the silence, all the avoidance, all the cold hallway glances and slammed doors in the rain â
You were looking at him again.
And smiling.
And for the first time in over a year, Satoru felt alive.
Shoko and you had already gone.
Just one visitor at a time, per the doctorâs rules â the earlier exception was rare and temporary. So now, it was just Satoru and Suguru. Quiet between them. The hospital room had dimmed, the sun finally starting to fall behind the skyline, painting the walls soft orange and grey.
Satoru sat by the window, legs stretched out, fingers loosely linked in his lap.
Suguru cleared his throat, careful of the soreness still in his ribs.
âShe smiled at you.â
Satoru blinked. Looked up. âHuh?â
Suguru smirked faintly. âJust now. You didnât notice?â
He had.
Of course he had. Heâd been thinking about it since the moment it happened.
âI noticed,â Satoru murmured.
Suguru looked at him for a moment longer. Then, without preamble, he asked, âYouâve talked to her at all?â
Satoru sighed. Shook his head.
âShe wonât speak to me,â he said, voice low. âBarely looks at me. Iâve tried. Not with words, not yet. But... Iâve tried.â
Suguru raised a brow. âTried how?â
Thatâs when Satoru leaned back in the chair, ran a hand through his hair, and really spoke â for the first time in what felt like years.
âI stopped waiting for her to forgive me,â he said. âStarted working on being someone who deserves it. Even if I never get it.â
He paused. Swallowed thickly.
âI started showing up to work early. Got ahead of deadlines. I picked up your old assignments, handled team rotations, replied to every message Nanami ever complained I ignored. I havenât touched a drop of alcohol since the day she ran in the rain to avoid standing under my umbrella.â
Suguru blinked.
âShe what?â
âYeah,â Satoru laughed once, bitter. âI waited at the hospital entrance like some fool with an umbrella, and she just looked at me⌠and ran. Didnât say a word.â
Suguru tried not to smile, but it tugged at his lips anyway.
âIâve been bringing her coffee sometimes,â Satoru added. âDoesnât take it. She brings her own now. Same order, but not from our place.â
Another pause.
âI know I donât deserve her,â he said. âAnd I know what I did wasââ He stopped. Breathed. âIt was more than a mistake. It was selfish. Cowardly. I broke something that took four years to build just because I didnât know how to sit with my own fear. She gave me everything. Even when she was tired. Even when I didnât thank her. And I...â
He trailed off again. This time, when he looked up, his voice cracked a little.
âIâd give anything to hear her call me Toru again.â
Suguru looked at him for a long time. The kind of look only someone whoâs known you your whole life can give â layered with exhaustion, history, love, and disappointment.
âI hated what you did,â he said plainly. âStill do.â
Satoru nodded. âYeah. Me too.â
âBut,â Suguru added, âIâve also never seen you like this.â
Satoru blinked.
âI mean it,â he continued. âYouâve always had your charm, your talent, your big talk. But this... this quiet version of you, the one who's finally earning things instead of expecting them handed over with a smile â she wouldâve loved to see this.â
âIâm too late,â Satoru said, rubbing his thumb against the corner of his lip. âSheâs moved on. Or worse â sheâs numb to me.â
âI donât think sheâs numb.â
Satoru looked at him.
âI think sheâs scared,â Suguru said. âYou broke her, Satoru. And people donât just bounce back from that. But I also think... if she didnât still feel something, she wouldnât have come back to see me.â
âYou think so?â
âI know so.â
Another beat.
âYou want her back?â Suguru asked.
âWith everything I have.â
âThen donât rush it. Donât corner her. And donât try to be the man you were before. Be the man she shouldâve had all along.â
Satoru exhaled shakily. âWhat if I donât know how?â
âYou do,â Suguru said, with a tired, certain smile. âYouâve already started.â
And for the first time in months, Satoru didnât feel like he was drowning in regret.
He felt like maybe â just maybe â he was finally learning how to swim.
You just needed five minutes.
Five minutes away from the machines and the disinfectant, the humming lights, the weight of watching Suguru sleep like if you looked away, heâd disappear again.
So you stepped outside. Coffee in hand. Hoodie pulled up. The sky above Tokyo already dimming into something slate grey, the kind of quiet that warns you rainâs on its way.
You were halfway down the path to the little hospital garden when it happened.
A stranger â tall, in a rush, barely looking â bumped into you shoulder-first. Your hand jolted. Coffee sloshed over your sweater, hot and bitter and ruining the one piece of comfort you had on your body.
âOhâ shit, Iâm sorry,â the guy muttered, already walking backward, not even waiting for you to respond.
You stood there, stunned. Chest heaving just slightly. Coffee dripping down your sleeves. Fingers clenched. And not because of the spill â not really.
It was everything else. It was the year that gutted you. The ache that didnât leave. The fact that you still woke up thinking about someone who ripped you in half like it was an accident.
And then, of courseâ
âYou okay?â
You froze.
Your heart didnât. It stuttered like it remembered something you didnât ask it to.
He jogged the last few steps toward you, eyes flicking to your shirt, the wet stain already starting to cool against your skin.
âIâve got clothes in my car,â he said, breath a little rushed. âI can grab you something, a hoodie orââ
âNo. Forget it.â
He blinked.
You didnât mean to sound so sharp, but it just came out. Too fast, too raw.
âI was justâtrying to helpââ
âWell, donât.â
Silence.
You hated this. Hated how his face fell just slightly, like he thought this was going to be the moment. Like he thought a fucking coffee stain was his chance.
You looked at the ground. Then at your hand. Then at him.
âStay away from me. Okay?â
He didnât move.
You clenched your jaw.
âI mean it.â
The wind picked up then â brushing past both of you, pulling your sleeves tighter against your arms. A low grumble of thunder rolled in the distance.
He looked like he wanted to say something.
But he didnât.
Just stood there, watching you like you were the last thing in the world he had left.
You turned around.
And walked back toward the hospital doors.
And behind you, the rain started to fall.
Youâd been back and forth from the hospital so often the nurses started to smile at you with tired recognition. Suguru was awake now â groggy, healing, but talking. That alone gave you something to hold onto.
But not enough to block him out.
Because lately, Satoru didnât hide anymore.
He used to linger. Hang back. Leave a coffee on the bench like it was some apology in disguise.
Now?
Now he waited.
Held doors open for you. Walked behind you in the hallway â not too close, not enough to make you speak, but just there.
The day after the coffee spill, he showed up to the hospital with a bag of clothes.
Not from his car. Not his oversized hoodies or a stupid t-shirt you used to wear to sleep.
New. Folded. In your size. With a little tag still clipped to the collar.
âI didnât know what color you liked anymore,â he said, holding the bag out. âSo I got black. That was always safe, right?â
You didnât take it.
Not then.
But when you left for the day, it wasnât in the trash. It was sitting beside the hospital chair, and somehow â somehow â it made its way back with you.
Two days later, it was raining again.
You forgot your umbrella that time. Too distracted. Rushed out.
He didnât speak when he met you at the exit, already holding his over your head.
Didnât smile either.
Just walked beside you.
Both of you quiet under the small circle of plastic shelter, boots splashing through puddles. You didnât say thank you. He didnât ask for it.
That night, you sat at your hotel desk and stared at the wet umbrella in the corner like it was some kind of ghost.
By the third day, he started showing up with food.
He remembered your old orders â which you hated him for. Because it meant he remembered everything else too. Where you used to sit in cafĂŠs. How you hated olives. That weird way you always had to drink something cold with something hot.
He knew all of it.
And he used it.
Not to manipulate you. Not to beg.
Just to be there.
You tried to ignore it. You did.
Youâd leave the food untouched sometimes, let the hospital staff take it, or give it to Shoko. You acted like it didnât bother you.
But it did.
Because it meant he still knew how to take care of you.
And part of you hated how much you noticed.
The dark circles under his eyes. The way he didnât laugh like he used to. The way he looked at Suguru â with real warmth, like he was scared to blink and lose him â and the way his gaze would flick to you after, like he was already bracing for heartbreak.
He didnât flirt. Didnât joke.
He just⌠showed up.
Every time.
And it was getting harder and harder to pretend you didnât feel it too.
Not forgiveness.
But the ache.
The memory of what he used to be â what you used to be â before it all shattered.
And the quiet, unspoken truth that he was trying now, when it might already be too late.
You werenât expecting anyone to be there.
Not outside your door. Not after a long, emotionally draining day at the hospital, not after hours of trying to convince yourself that you were fine. That ignoring him was working. That time was doing what it always promised to do â make things easier.
But there he was.
Leaning against the wall outside your hotel room, like he had nowhere else to go.
A single tulip in his hand.
Your favorite. The kind you used to tell him reminded you of quiet mornings and fresh starts. Of spring.
He looked up the second your footsteps approached â like heâd been listening for them. Waiting.
You froze.
He straightened up. Didnât smile. Didnât speak.
Just held out the flower.
You blinked at him. Your fingers tightened around your hotel key.
âWho told you I lived here?â you muttered, mostly to yourself.
He didnât answer.
Didnât need to.
You stepped closer to your door, ignoring the way your heart slammed in your chest. You tried to brush past him, to get your key in the lock, butâ
âItâs just a flower,â he said quietly. âItâs not a promise. Not a trap. Just something you used to like.â
You stilled.
Just for a second.
And then, slowly, without looking at him, you took the flower.
Walked inside.
And tossed it to the floor.
Didnât even look to see where it landed â just stepped over it, like it didnât mean anything. Like he didnât.
You didnât expect him to follow.
But he did.
The second you turned around, he shut the door behind him, slow and careful like he knew you were ready to kick him out the second you had the breath to do it.
You stared at him.
He stared back.
âThe fuck are you doing here?â you snapped, voice sharp, brittle.
He didnât flinch. âI justâ I needed to see you.â
âYou have been seeing me, Satoru,â you said, stepping back like his presence alone was suffocating. âHospitals. Hallways. Coffee stands. I told you not to talk to me.â
âI havenât said a word.â
âBut youâve been everywhere.â
Your voice cracked. Just barely. But enough to make you hate the way your throat tightened.
You looked away.
He stepped forward once. Hesitant. Like he was moving through water.
âYou deserved more than a quiet apology. More than coffee cups and umbrellas. You deservedââ
âI didnât ask for anything from you,â you snapped, eyes burning. âI didnât want flowers. I didnât want closure. I wanted distance.â
He looked like he was holding himself together with thread.
âYou think showing up with my favorite flower is going to fix anything?â you laughed â bitter, breathless. âYou think being visible makes up for what you did?â
His mouth parted like he wanted to argue.
But he didnât.
Because you werenât done.
âI came here to forget. I came here to make sure I never softened againâ and all youâve done since Suguru opened his eyes is push yourself back into places you donât belong.â
âI never stopped belonging to you,â he said.
The room went still.
You stared at him. Heart thudding. Eyes hot. Rage swallowing you whole.
But somewhere, under all of it â you noticed the way he looked at you like this was the last time.
Like every second he stood in that room hurt, nd you hated it.
Because no matter how hard you tried â You still noticed, and that was the worst part.
You didnât mean to scream.
But it ripped out of you like it had been clawing at your chest for months, desperate for air.
âGet out of my fucking life, Satoru!â
His eyes widened â but he didnât move.
âI donât fucking need you,â you yelled, your voice breaking, fists shaking at your sides. âI never will again.â
He didnât believe it. You knew he didnât. Not with the way your throat closed mid-sentence, not when your eyes were already stinging.
And that only made it worse.
âYouâre so fucking stubborn,â you spat, pacing the small room, barely able to breathe. âWhy canât you justâjust stay away? Why canât you let me go?â
Your hands shot up to your forehead, wrists pressed to your skin like you could hold the emotions in if you squeezed hard enough. But it didnât help.
Nothing did.
Because you were crumbling.
âI donât want to feel like this again,â you gasped, pacing tighter circles now, stumbling through your own grief. âI donât want to be soft again, Satoruâdonât you get it?â
You turned to him, eyes wide, heart pounding, tears now streaming down your cheeks.
âI didnât want to notice anymore. I didnât want to see you and remember how good it used to be. I didnât want to feel that pull again. Because I know myselfââ
You sobbed. A sharp, guttural sound that broke through your teeth.
âI know Iâll always have something for you. Even after everything.â
He stepped forward â slowly, carefully, like he wasnât sure if youâd let him.
But when his hand reached out toward youâ
âDonât fucking touch me!â you shrieked, jerking back like heâd burned you.
He froze.
âYou donât get to do this,â you cried. âNot after what you said. Not after what you did to me.â
Your voice cracked again, trembling, wet, filled with everything you swore youâd never let him hear.
âYou canât just fucking bring me coffee and expect Iâll forgive you,â you hissed. âYou donât get to barge into my life again with your sad fucking eyes and think Iâll forget what it felt like to be nothing to you.â
The yelling stopped, but your sobbing didnât. Your arms wrapped around yourself as you stumbled back against the wall, as if holding your own body together was the only thing keeping you standing.
âYou know how hard I love,â you whispered, voice shaking like glass. âYou know itâs hard for me to say no to you.â
Your head fell forward. Shoulders trembling. âWhy are you doing this to me?â
He didnât answer.
âWhy are you still coming back into my life,â you choked, âwhen you already tore it apart?â
You looked up at him, vision blurred, throat aching.
âYou werenât the one who gave everything only to realize our relationship was a fucking accident.â
He flinched at that.
âYou werenât the one who carried that.â
You shook your head, tears slipping down your chin. âYou knew how to get me. You always knew. One sorry. One fucking flower. One âplease,â and suddenly Iâm right back where I started.â
You laughed through the tears â bitter, hopeless.
âThe resentment. The hatred. It justâgoes quiet. Like my whole world starts spinning again, just because you showed up.â
Your hands dropped to your sides. Exhausted. Done.
âYouâre a fucking jerk, Satoru.â
And he just stood there.
Soaking in the wreckage.
Because for the first timeâ
You werenât holding back.
You didnât expect him to move.
Not at first.
He stood there, staring at you like youâd just ripped open his chest and finally saw what was left inside. His jaw clenched. His lips parted, then shut again â like he didnât know where to start. Like he knew anything he said might make it worse.
But thenâ
His voice.
Soft. So soft it barely made it past the space between you.
âI didnât know how empty I was until you left.â
Your stomach twisted.
He took a step forward. One foot, then the other â careful. Heavy.
âI thought I could handle it. That if I gave you time, maybe Iâd stop missing you. That maybe it would hurt less.â
He shook his head.
âBut it never did.â
You stayed still.
He looked down. Fingers twitching at his sides, knuckles pale.
âI tried to be better. I tried to become the kind of man youâd be proud of. Not because I thought it would fix thingsââ His voice broke, barely audible. ââbut because I needed to believe I could still be someone good⌠someone worth the way you loved me.â
Your chest tightened.
He looked up again, blue eyes shining under the weight of his own shame.
âI used to think I was the strongest man alive,â he whispered. âAnd then I lost you. And Iâve never felt weaker.â
The first tear rolled down.
He didnât wipe it.
Didnât flinch.
His lips just pulled into that soft, pouty line youâd seen so many times â when he was tired, or sad, or trying not to cry. His mouth trembled.
âI miss you.â
He said it like a prayer.
âI fucking miss you.â
And then â slowly, quietly â he sank to his knees.
Like his body couldnât carry the weight of it anymore.
He knelt in front of you, looking up with eyes red and full of longing. His hands limp in his lap. His head tilted up, lips trembling, tears streaming down now â silent, steady, shameless.
Your heart cracked in half.
He was beautiful like this. Broken, yearning, soft in a way only you ever got to see. No bravado. No charm. Just the real Satoru â the boy who used to cling to your pinky finger in public like it made him braver. The man who used to fall asleep with his head on your lap, mumbling how he didnât know how to love right, but he was trying for you.
You didnât realize you were reaching for him until your thumb wiped the tear from his cheek.
He flinched, just slightly â like he couldnât believe you touched him.
And still, he kept talking. Barely holding his breath between words.
âI think about you every morning I wake up. Every time I order coffee. Every time I hear someone laugh the way you used to in the car when I played stupid songs.â
He shook his head, more tears slipping out.
âI donât want anyone else. I never did. Even when I fucked upâgod, even thenâthere wasnât a second I didnât regret it.â
You stayed standing.
But your hand⌠lingered.
Fingertips brushing against the skin beneath his eye, now damp and warm.
He didnât move.
Didnât reach for you.
Just knelt there.
Crying for you.
âPlease,â he whispered. âPlease, Y/N. I know I donât deserve it. But just⌠donât hate me anymore.â
And you could see it in him â every single piece of him cracked wide open, still loving you, still begging you to love him back.
You didnât speak right away.
You just stared down at him â knees on your hotel floor, eyes wet, face flushed, holding back nothing for once.
It wouldâve been easier if he stayed the Satoru you hated. The one you left behind. The one who shattered you.
But he wasnât.
He was this Satoru. The one crying at your feet like his entire world was on pause, waiting for your voice to bring it back to life.
And suddenly, the fear that had kept you cold for so long â the armor you wore so well â began to crack.
You opened your mouth.
It didnât come out strong.
âIâm scared,â you whispered.
His head lifted â just enough to meet your eyes. His bottom lip quivered. The quietest breath left his mouth.
âI know.â
You let your hand drop from his cheek. Watched it hang at your side, useless.
âIâm scared of losing myself again,â you murmured. âOf giving everything and watching it fall apart like it never mattered.â
He shook his head quickly, kneeling taller, hands still trembling in his lap.
âI swear to you,â he said, voice hoarse, âIâm not that man anymore. I donât want anything else. I donât care about perfect or easy or clean. I justââ
He looked up at you like you were oxygen. Like he was afraid to blink.
âIâm half a heart without you.â
You exhaled â sharp, shaky, gut-deep.
âAnd Iâve been walking around like Iâm fine, like Iâm whole,â he went on, voice trembling, âbut Iâm not. Iâm fucking not, Y/N. I havenât been since the night I left your doorstep.â
You bit down on your lip, eyes stinging.
âI think about it every day,â he whispered. âHow cold you looked. How strong you were for letting me go. And Iâd give everything just to go back and make you feel safe again.â
Silence.
You let it linger between you.
And then, with the gentlest breath â a thread of sound caught between sorrow and love â you said it.
âOh, ToruâŚâ
The moment it left your lips, his hands found your waist.
His arms wrapped around you like muscle memory, like prayer.
And he pressed his face to your stomach, forehead resting against the fabric of your shirt as he sobbed â not loudly, not violently, just finally.
Your hands trembled as they threaded into his hair.
You held him.
You held him like you used to â with everything you were. With love and hurt and history all tangled in your fingers. Your thumb stroked the nape of his neck. Your other hand stayed pressed gently to his crown.
Neither of you spoke.
You didnât need to.
Because something heavy â something unspoken and unbearable â lifted from both your shoulders.
It didnât make it simple.
It didnât make it right.
But it made it real.
And in that moment â knees to floor, arms wrapped tight, breath stuttering between you â love didnât feel like weakness anymore.

dividers by, @cafekitsune
#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk imagines#jjk angst#jjk oneshot#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen oneshot#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen angst#gojo#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo ff#jjk ff#gojo angst#gojo oneshot#satoru#satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru angst#satoru oneshot#gojo satoru#gojo satoru ff
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seven days of dan and phil - some fave gay moments [4/7]
phan service / giving the people what they want
#all this just to gif the jacket anecdote again cause the way he was hyping it up makes me laugh sm <33#and then had to sandwich the actual gtpwtw vid + tour in between for Symmetry#tw flashing#cw flashing#7dodnp#7dodnpgay#dan and phil#phan#amazingphil#phil lester#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#danandphilgames#dpgdaily#dnp gifs#my gifs#compilation#Giving The People What They Want#dnp liveshows#interactive introverts#Halloween Baking - MONSTER POPS!
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tell us more about abused wolf hybrid reader please (your writing is so good!!! <3)
You got it, boss!đŤĄđ
So, wolf!reader isnt acclimating to the team well, in soaps opinion. Ur constantly tense, eyes darting around any room you enter. Ur ears are never pinned back, but they are so still in a neutral position on Ur head that its obviously a forced facade of calm. You just seem....scared. scared, definitely. But of what soap has no idea.
Hes cant help you, everytime he tries to you seem to withdraw further. Hes tries to do anything he can think of, barking and snuffling and play-fighting, but nothing works. The others try too. Gaz gives you treats all the time, though you never seem to eat them. Ghost gives you awkward head pats and warm praise, but it just makes ur tail tuck. Price tries to talk to you, but anytime he enters a room ur already out the other exit. You seem to dislike him the most.
It all comes to a head when you take a bad fall during training and get a nasty cut on ur back. Price tries to send u to medical, but you outright refuse. He cant just let you fucking bleed without at least getting someone to look, though. So he tells you to either go to medical or choose on of the guys to check it.
...you choose gaz. Hes about your body weight, you feel decently confident in being able to fight him off. Either way, he insists on going to ur den bc it will be the most calming place for an obviously stressed wolf. Gaz expects a small den, sure, but he doesnt expect to see the mattress intended for the den completely barren. Instead you have a small, mangy pile of fabric in the far corner of the room, sandwiched between the wall and where you pushed the dresser out.
He doesnt say anything, just let's you lead him to the empty mattress. He talks you through what he plans to do before starting, then warns you before each action. Ur tense and jumpy, ears pinned flat and tail tucked openly. You dont try to hide ur discomfort, though you nod when gaz asks if he can continue. Still, you jolt and whine when scissors press against ur back, cutting open the shirt. Gaz has to hold his breath for a moment at what he sees.
In stark, puffy and raised keloids, 'MUTT' is carved across ur shoulder blades. Right below it, hardly noticeable compared to the bold letters is another word carved into ur skin, this one seemingly alot neater. You old teams code name, clear as day.
#remenber when i said reader was only lowkey abused? yeah i lied sorry guys im a whump machine#cod#cod angst#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#captain john price x reader#johnny soap mactavish#platonic 141 x reader#platonic gaz x reader#platonic soap x reader#platonic price x reader#platonic ghost x reader#hybrid reader#cw abuse#cw ed implied
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To Love The Burning Sun


Wc: 21.8k+ (woops) Summary: You were promised to him as a child. You were raised within temple walls, trained to serve, to revere, and to love the god you would marry. But love between a mortal and a god was never meant to be easy. Especially when he never showed up. Cw: God!Phainon x Fem!Mortal!Reader, Alternate universe, Semi-smut, OOC Phainon, mentions of blood, slight 3.4 spoilers, MDNI, hurt/comfort (I ain't Shaoji). Notes: This is my first time writing (somewhat) smut + something this long, pls be nice (ââ¸â)

CHAPTER I
You sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day, your gaze fixed on the horizon beyond the templeâs arched windows. The sunset bled across the skies of Okhema in a soft orange and gold. You could see the view of the city from afar as people began lighting up their burning lamps. The view should have brought comfort and peace to your restless soul.Â
But it only made you angrier as the color of the sky reminded you of him.
You closed your eyes and inhaled slowly as you tried to still the tightness in your chest. You lifted your elbows from the cool marble sill and turned away from the window, the warmth of the sunâs dimming rays brushing your back as you made your way across the quiet bedroom. You collapsed onto the cushioned couch near the hearth, arms folded. Soon, the temple maids would come, their polite voices chiming in another reminder for dinner.Â
Another formal, joyless meal at the long table meant to seat two â yet always ended with you alone at one end, the other left hauntingly empty. What was the point if your supposed husband never came home?
You tried to remember the string of events that had led you here.Â
It began twenty years ago, during the last days of the Black Tide.
Your father, General of the Okheman Knights, stood on a battlefield soaked in blood and shadow, surrounded by the groans of the dying and the monstrous. His comrades, once proud warriors, now lay lifeless or worse â corrupted into twisted, grotesque abominations, their bodies overtaken by the force of the Black Tide.Â
Smoke and ash choked the sky, painting it red. His vision blurred as the stench of rot and scorched steel filled his lungs. He sank to his knees, despair clawing at every inch of his body. It was then he whispered, eyes clenched shut.
âOh⌠God Khaslana, protector of Okhema⌠Save this city. I will give you the greatest gift I can offer â My firstborn, to be yours, body and soul.â
Khaslana, the Worldbearing God, was known among mortals as the Deliverer, an eternal flame against the crawling darkness. He was radiant like the blazing heart of the sun and has long shielded the human kind with his light.Â
From the heavens, fire rained down. Meteors streaked through the sky like divine spears, crashing into the earth with fury. The monsters of the Black Tide screeched, then fell silent beneath the weight of the stones.Â
The battle was won, and the city was saved. The army cheered, thrusting their swords and shields upward as your father roared out a victory saying that Khaslana was with everyone.
When your father returned, he was hailed as a hero. He told the people of Okhema of the divine intervention â how the god himself had descended to save them. What he did not speak of, however, was the vow whispered on the battlefield, the promise made from a man to the divine.Â
It had been a desperate, spur-of-the-moment plea. Yet breaking a vow to a god? It was unthinkable. Especially when the god had answered so grandly, only his family and the priests of Okhemaâs temple knew the truth. When he confided in the high priest, he was met not with comfort but with pressure.Â
âA vow to a god must be honored. To break it would only invite ruin,â the priest said.
That night, your father returned home. You were only a babe, swaddled in white linen, cradled in your motherâs arms. He watched the two of you quietly. His wife smiled, not yet knowing what burden had been placed upon their daughterâs shoulders.Â
You were raised in the temple, trained as a priestess to serve the god who had spared your city. Your father hoped that by living among the sacred â tending to the shrines, memorizing the old hymns, and praying beneath Khaslanaâs ever-burning flame â you would grow to love the god who would one day be your husband.
You tried. You really did.
Now, you stand as a woman of the age when they became brides. Your time had come.Â
But your wedding was not like those you had seen in Okhemaâs gardens or among the white-stone courtyards where laughter and music would echo. No streamers were fluttering in the wind, no tables heavy with food or jugs of honeyed ambrosia. No children dancing. Nothing.
Yours was a private affair. It was quiet, solemn, and shrouded in ceremonial gravity.Â
Only your family and the temple clergy were in attendance. You were dressed in a flowing white chiton, its fabric soft as breath, trailing behind you. A circlet of gold leaves rested atop your head. Golden cuffs adorned your wrists, broad and gleaming like sunlight pressed into metal. Your ears bore the weight of gold, your neck cradled by an intricate collar, etched with celestial symbols.Â
You climbed the stairs alone to the templeâs highest balcony â a sacred circular platform open to the skies above. The wind was gentle, brushing against your skin. You swore you felt a hand brushing your cheeks, the touch hidden in the gust of wind.Â
You stepped into the center of the platform as the archbishop began to pray.
You knelt, head bowed, hands clasped in practiced devotion. You said your vows, promises of loyalty, of faith, of love, offered not only as a worshipper, but as a bride. You spoke the vow youâd rehearsed a thousand times.Â
Then, light emerged from below you.
A brilliant, blinding glow burst from the platform, golden and radiant. It was more intense than anyone had ever seen. The wind surged around you, lifting your robes and tussling your hair. The archbishop froze, priests shielded their eyes. Even the people in the marmoreal market turned their eyes, wondering what miracle had occurred.Â
You closed your eyes against the brightness, heart thudding at your chest. But then, it was over.
The archbishop announced that your vow had been accepted. You were now the wife of Khaslana.
There were no cheers, only whispers, nods, and quiet awe.
You stood, shoulders stiff, eyes lifted into the sky. You breathed in deeply, calming yourself.
That night, you packed your things in silence. The carriage was already waiting for you at the gates of the temple. You said your goodbyes under the night sky. Your little brother, Atlas, clung to the hem of your dress, though you had never been close. His small hands trembled as you soothed his head with gentle pats.Â
Your mother embraced you next, brushing your hair behind your ear and murmuring her pride through teary eyes. Your father hugged you last, his was longer than the others. He didnât speak first. Just held you.
âIâm sorry,â He whispered.
You forced a smile, âItâs all right. Iâm lucky, arenât I? Anyone would want this.â
You werenât sure if you believed it.
As the carriage wheels creaked into motion, you stared out the window, watching your family grow smaller in the distance.
When you arrived at the temple atop the hill, the sanctuary where they said Lord Khaslana often rested, you couldnât help but pause at the sight of it. It was⌠vast.
The marble pillars stood tall like pale tree trunks, disappearing into vaulted ceilings. The halls echoed softly with every step you took. Looking around, you realized there were a few staff members in this temple compared to the temple you stayed in, Okhema City. You later found out that only a few priests and priestesses served here â trusted ones who had long devoted their lives to silence, prayer, and sacred duties.
The elder priestess who guided you eventually stopped before a towering set of doors inlaid with gold and sunstone. Looking back, this place was separated from the temple, yet still connected by the long corridor. Your head turned back to the priestess when you heard a slow creak of the doors.
âThis is Lord Khaslanaâs chamber,â she said softly, âIt is yours now as well.âÂ
You stepped inside and gawked at the sight of the room. The bed alone was large enough to hold your entire family, heck, maybe twice over. The ceilings soared high, so distant that they would definitely fade into shadow if not for the chandeliers. The furniture was grand and oversized, built for someone not quite mortal. It really did feel as if a giant was living here.Â
You bathed in silence, the temple servants having prepared a warm bath perfumed with wildflowers and sweet oil. You dressed yourself in soft nightwear, brushed your hair, and sat carefully at the edge of the bed.
You even tried to make yourself look pretty.
You heard whispers about what a wedding night should be like. Servants at your old temple murmured things when they thought you werenât listening. Stories passed between maids like secrets. Surely, this would be the same?
Right?
You flushed at the thought â embarrassed by where your imagination wandered, especially toward a god you had worshipped all your life. But he was your husband now, wasnât he? It should be fine to think of him that way⌠shouldnât it?
You didnât even know what to call him. Should you call him with the honorifics still? Would âKhaslanaâ be too familiar? Would âmy lordâ be too distant? Could you ever say his name like a wife should?
You covered your face with your hands, trying to quiet your flustered thoughts. Still, you waited.
Would he descend in divine form, or would he look like the murals? Golden-dark wings stretching wide, with hair like woven sunlight, and eyes that could pierce souls. You told yourself it would be enough just to see him. To hear his voice. To feel that you werenât alone.
Minutes passed.
Then hours,
The moon rose high above the temple, then it drifted past its peak.
Still, he did not come.
You stayed awake as long as you could, eyes fixed on the empty half of the bed. But eventually, exhaustion took you. You fell asleep with your body curled to one side, the silken sheets untouched beside you.Â
When morning came, nothing had changed. The bed was still smooth, the air quiet, the god you had been bound to in sacred ceremony had made no appearance, left no message, cast no shadow on the marble floor.
Was it supposed to be like this?
You told yourself he must be busy with the divine duties that kept him from descending. Gods moved differently through time than mortals did.
But as you sat in silence, a pit formed in your chest.Â
Were you not worthy of his presence?
Had you done something wrong?
A soft knock at the door startled you. A priest stood in the hallway, politely informing you that breakfast had been prepared. You forced a smile, thanked him, and got dressed. As you walked the corridor, you felt hollow. There were too many thoughts swirling in your chest.
Was this what marriage with the divine looked like? Was he disappointed in you? Displeased? Disinterested?
Still, you didnât see him that day. Nor the next. Each night, you lie in the vast bed alone, heart aching a little more. The heart ached, pushing you to eventually gather the courage to speak to the Archbishop.
After morning prayers, you lingered near the sanctum until he approached. You explained your worries as delicately as you could â stumbling over words as you worry about how much was appropriate to say.
The Archbishop listened to you with patient eyes, âAll things Lord Khaslana does,â he began gently, âAre done with purpose. Continue your devotions. If you wish to speak with him⌠speak through your prayers.â
Thatâs just their way of saying âI donât know.â
You nodded and left the room. Nonetheless, you followed his advice.Â
The next day, you waited until the templeâs roofed balcony was empty. You stepped onto the stone platform, the one that overlooked the city below. The sky stretched endlessly above you, behind the round glass roof, the clouds painted with soft morning light.
You knelt on the cold marble, hands folded. At first, you whispered the usual verses. Then, you opened your eyes slowly. You looked up.
Hesitantly, you spoke.
âGreetings⌠husband,â you said, wincing at the awkwardness of it. When thereâs no response, you felt your cheeks burn. But you still continued.Â
âI⌠I just wanted to say hi. UmâŚâ You trailed off. You had no idea what you were doing.
âI hope youâre doing well. Iâll take my leave now!â
You stood abruptly, flustered beyond belief, and walked away with your heart pounding. But that soon became your routine.
Each day, you woke, ate a modest breakfast in the quiet dining hall, wandered the temple, sat in the garden with a book, prayed, ate lunch, wandered again, returned to your room, wrote idle thoughts on parchment you never sent, ate dinner, and finally prayed to your unseen husband.
Sometimes youâd say nothing, sometimes youâd ask him how his day was, even though you knew you werenât getting a response. You smiled less. Spoke less.Â
Days blurred into weeks, weeks blurred into months.
You were now in the present, sitting alone at the long dining table, spooning a lukewarm breakfast into your mouth. The temple was silent, as always. Only the soft clink of metal against porcelain accompanied you â a small, hollow sound swallowed by the high ceilings and marble walls.Â
Once finished, you rose, gathered your plate, and made your way to the kitchen. A servant greeted you with a respectful nod, which you returned with a tired smile. You handed over the dish with a soft âthank youâ before turning to leave.
Your footsteps echoed through the temple halls, vast and empty. Each corridor felt like a labyrinth of silence, lined with tapestries that did not stir and statues that seemed to watch but never speak. As you passed one of the open arches, you paused, drawn toward the view outside.Â
The city of Okhema lay far below, nestled among rolling green hills and sandstone streets warmed by the morning sun. From here, the people looked like ants, moving about in the rhythm of daily life.
It had been a long time since youâd last visited.
You remembered how excited you were the first time you asked for permission. The Archbishop had granted it, so long as one of the priests escorted you. You nodded and followed his orders.
You had tried to enjoy it. Truly, you tried.
But it wasnât the same.
The entire excursion felt performative. You werenât free to walk where you pleased, only allowed to greet your friends briefly. The visit to your family had been short and formal. They had asked you how you were holding up and if you were happy, but you could only answer with a bitter smile as you lied about your happiness. Your family smiled back, glad that you were okay. Though your father had watched you with wordless guilt in his eyes.
You had returned to the temple more tired than when you left. You didnât feel like going through all that again, so you scratched the thought off. You exhaled and rubbed your temples as you continued to walk back to your chambers in silence.
You passed by the sacred balcony, the platform where you had once knelt and whispered greetings to a god who never answered. You didnât even look toward it.
You had no intention of âtalkingâ to him today. What was the point?
You had spoken your thoughts into the wind and silence for moons now. Whatever patience the priests spoke of, yours was running out. Whatever marriage this was, you were beginning to wonder if you were the only one in it.
You pushed the doors to your room and let them shut softly behind you. The air inside was still and faintly scented. The high windows poured sunlight onto the floor, casting long golden stripes across the stone.
You didnât bother changing out of your temple robes. You simply crossed the room and slumped onto the bed, the mattress dipping beneath your weight. The other half of the bed? Still untouched, pristine, as it had been every night.Â
You curled to your side, your cheek against the cool pillow. Outside the window, birds wheeled lazily through the sky. You watched them, envious of their freedom.Â
A bitter smile tugged at your lips. You werenât even sure if you remembered what that kind of freedom felt like.
Your mind begins to wander, a thought crept in â quiet, sharp, and unbearable.
Has he⌠abandoned me?
You closed your eyes and let the silence answer.

CHAPTER II
You wandered the gardens again, your steps trailing along familiar paths. The air was warm today, soft with the scent of blooming flowers and freshly tilled soil. Sunlight filtered through the trellises, casting latticed shadows on the stone walkway. You passed by the same clusters of dianthus and wild hyacinths, now fully in bloom, their petals trembling slightly in the breeze.Â
The gardeners sure are diligent. Their work showed in every vibrant stem, every carefully clipped hedge. But even the beauty of the flowers couldnât shake the dull ache in your chest.
You haven't prayed since yesterday. You knew you should haveânot because you expected anything to change, but because that had been your one way to pretend someone was still listening. But the silence you would receive in return had grown too loud, too painful. You couldnât bring yourself to do it again. Not now.Â
So instead, you let your feet carry you aimlessly through the gardenâs winding paths. Eventually, your steps slowed, and you lifted your eyes toward the sky, letting out a quiet sigh.
âItâs so lonely here,â you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, âI miss my family⌠my friends⌠the sound of the busy marketâŚâÂ
The words slipped from you without a thought. The truth of them made your eyes sting. You hadnât realized how tightly the loneliness had been coiling in your chest until you said it out loud. It was homesickness, plain and simple.
The temple, for all its golden beauty and perfection, was a cage. Not one built of iron bars, but of duty, silence, and unanswered prayers. You were its reluctant bird, fluttering from one empty hallway to the next.
As you returned inside, your footsteps echoing along the polished floors, you passed by a few servants carrying bundles of fresh linens. They paused to dip their heads respectfully, and you returned the gesture automatically, your mind still lost in the haze of longing.
As you passed them, you caught fragments of their conversation.
âThe town is already setting up for the festival⌠the one for HysilensâŚâ
Your breath caught. Of course. Today was the first day of the fifth month â the Month of Joy. The festival of Hysilens, goddess of the sea.Â
Your footsteps slowed to a halt.
You remembered how, back in the city, this day would transform the streets into rivers of color and sound. You remembered the rows of market stalls selling sugared fruits and roasted meats, the performers dressed in sea-colored robes dancing in the square, the laughter of children chasing painted ribbons through the air.Â
You remembered attending those festivals with your friends, pockets full of wages saved up over weeks, spending every coin on treats and trinkets and memories that lingered long after. Those had been the brightest days.
But now⌠You were up here, alone. Watching the world move on without you.
For a moment, you thought about asking permission from the Archbishop to attend the festival. But the thought quickly left your mind. You already knew how it would go. Even if he said yes, he would assign you an even stricter chaperone. You would be led from one designated stop to another, rushed. It would feel less like a visit and more like a ritual of appearances.Â
It wasnât worth it.Â
Then a thought struck you. It sparked suddenly in your chest like a match struck in the dark.
What if you didnât ask? What if you just⌠Snuck out?
Your heart skipped.
Could you even do that?Â
It felt like madness, but the idea had already lodged itself into your mind, refusing to leave. There were guards posted at the gates. Clergy walking the halls at all hours. And yet⌠the idea of slipping past them, of blending into the crowd of festivalgoers, of tasting freedom even for a day â it was too tempting to ignore.Â
You couldnât make it to todayâs celebration, that much was certain. But maybe, just maybe, if you prepared carefully⌠next week could be different.
Over the next few days, you turned your casual walks into reconnaissance. You watched the guards from a distance, searched the halls for blind spots, watched the rhythm of the servants, and mapped the quietest corridors. You draw a poorly made map of the temple, scribbling notes on the paths you could take.Â
With your newfound determination, youâre sure youâll be able to go to the festival this week.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
This temple was built like a damn fortress!
Every entrance was watched. Every path accounted for. You returned to your room one afternoon and slumped into your writing chair, burying your face in your hands. The frustration burned in your chest.Â
Curse those who assigned the layout of this prison temple.Â
You ran a hand through your hair, fingers tangling in frustration. With a sharp exhale, you stepped out into the quiet halls of the temple. It was nearing the hour of evening prayer anyway, so you stormed through the quiet halls of the temple, the sound of your hurried footsteps echoing faintly against the stone.Â
When you reached the prayer chamber, you kneeled at your usual place. You clasped your hands together. When you opened your mouth, the words you uttered were not soft-spoken, but they were razor-edged. You followed the usual form of prayer, though this time, there was fire in every syllable, a simmering fury that made the priests nearby stiffen and steal worried glances.
They had never heard you pray like this before. Were you praying to Khaslana, or were you threatening him? They didnât know. The priests dared not interrupt and kept their heads bowed.Â
After your evening prayers, you passed by the front gate. You didnât intend to do anything, just watching.Â
But then you saw it.
Two of the guards had stepped away from their posts, moving with practiced ease as they swapped shifts. You lingered nearby, pretending to observe a flowering vine on the stone wall. Five minutes later, they returned.Â
It wasnât much â just a narrow window, a sliver of chance. But it was something.Â
Your heart raced as you walked back to your chamber.
If you timed it perfectly, if the halls were quiet and no one was watching, you might be able to slip through during a shift change. It wouldnât be easy. But it wasnât impossible. Still, you had doubts lingering. You knew how unpredictable the temple was. There might still be wandering priests in the halls. You would need more careful timing.
You would need luck. Even divine intervention.
The thought made you pause. Would your husband notice? Would he stop you? Would he⌠care?
You considered praying to him, you know, just enough to tip fortune in your favor. But how could you make such a prayer without revealing your intent?
You tried keeping things vague: requesting protection, for clarity, for guidance on uncertain roads. But even so, guilt festered at the back of your throat. You were a mortal trying to outwit a god.Â
You sighed deeply as you sat back at your desk, fingers absently brushing over your ink-stained parchment. Your eyes drifted to the row of old temple scrolls. One of them, worn at the edges and bound in cracked leather, mentioned Cifera â goddess of trickery and hidden paths. For a moment, you considered turning your hopes toward her instead. Surely she would understand. She was the patron of secrets and silent rebellions.
But even that felt dangerous. Gods did not always answer as mortals expected â and Cifera, for all her wit and charm, was as unpredictable as the ocean. One prayer could lead you to freedom.
Or straight into a trap.
You sighed, walking to your bed, planting your face into the pillow, carefully planning the escape.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
When the night finally came, you looked outside your window and gathered your courage. You had prepared everything in secret, every detail planned with precision over the past few days. Your belongings were already packed: a modest satchel with your saved coin, you wore a simple linen dress, and a travel cloak with a deep hood to hide your face.Â
Just before sunset, you told the priestesses not to disturb you for dinner, claiming that you were unusually tired and would be resting early. They seemed concerned but didnât question you further.
You waited until the temple fell quiet. According to what youâve overheard, the Archbishop had summoned all the priests and priestesses to a meeting. Something about receiving a message from Lord Khaslana himself. That timing couldnât be more convenient.
It was almost suspicious, even.
You almost laughed. Whether it was divine providence or coincidence, you didnât care. You were determined to leave.
With your cloak slung around your shoulders and your bag secure at your hip, you crept through the dimly lit corridors. You kept to the shadows, heart hammering in your chest as the last golden rays of sunlight bled over the hills. You arrived at the edge of the temple grounds, ducking behind a stone pillar near the front gates. Just as you had predicted, the guards began their shift change.
Now.
You sprinted across the open courtyard, your breath catching in your throat as your sandals pounded against the stone. You muttered a desperate prayer to the West Winds, begging them to carry your footsteps quietly. Reaching the outer wall, you climbed with surprising ease â the muscle memory of childhood sneaking and tree-climbing in Okhema still alive in your limbs. With one final push, you vaulted over the gate, landing softly on the other side with a thud muffled by grass.
You paused only a moment to catch your breath, casting one last glance back at the towering temple. Then you ran, cloak fluttering behind you, hair whipping in the wind as you tore down the hill toward the city below. Your feet burned and your lungs ached, but you didnât stop.
For the first time in months, you felt free.
The gates of Okhema loomed ahead, golden lights from the festivities already glowing like stars fallen to earth. Laughter, music, and the clatter of wooden wheels floated on the breeze. Your heart pounded.Â
Not from the run this time, but from exhilaration.Â
You were finally here.
You made your way to the familiar district where your family lived. When your mother opened the door, her eyes widened in disbelief.
âBy the gods⌠what are you doing here?â she whispered, pulling you inside.
Atlas, your younger brother, shouted your name with delight and rushed into your arms, wrapping himself around your waist. You smiled as you held him close, heart clenching at how much he had grown.
âI was granted permission to attend the festival,â you said, the lie tasting oddly natural. âJust for tonight.â
Your motherâs eyes searched your face, clearly unconvinced, but she didnât press. âYour fatherâs out of town,â she said after a pause. âThere was an urgent dispatch from the southern front.â
You nodded, choosing not to ask for details. âWill you come with me to the festival, then? Just for a little while?â
She shook her head with a tired smile. âNo, Iâm too old for those crowds now. But take Atlas. Heâs been begging me for days.â
âPlease, Ma? Can I go?â Atlas clutched your sleeve eagerly.
Your mother sighed, then gave you a look that was part blessing, part warning. âCome back safe.â
âOf course,â you said with a grin.
Moments later, Atlas returned with a small bag of coins and excitement bursting from every step. He grabbed your hand and began pulling you toward the heart of the city.
The festival was more dazzling than you remembered. Lanterns strung across the streets bathed everything in amber light. Stalls overflowed with spiced meats, honey pastries, roasted chestnuts, and painted masks. Atlas dragged you from one corner to the next â watching dancers spin to the beat of drums, laughing at jugglers dropping flaming torches, squealing at the scent of fresh honeybread.
He remembered your favorite food. You hadnât even realized heâd been paying attention all these years.
âSis, look! Thereâs a play! Letâs go watch!â Atlas tugged on your arm, pointing toward a crowd gathering near a stage.
âAtlas, slow down,â you said, laughing as you tried to keep up with his darting steps.
You ended up at the back of the crowd, barely able to see over the heads in front of you. Atlas strained on tiptoes, pouting in frustration.
âCome on, Iâll lift you,â you said, crouching.
He blinked. âAre you sure? Iâm not that little anymore.â
âIâve carried heavier,â you teased, and with a grunt, lifted him onto your shoulders.
His hands settled on your head for balance, and his smile widened as he finally got a good view of the stage. For a moment, everything felt perfect. It felt as though you had slipped into a pocket of time where none of your duties or fears existed. But that moment was broken when you felt something shift behind you.
Your bag. A rustle.
You turned quickly, but it was too late. A man was already sprinting away, the coin pouch clutched in his hand.
âThief!â you shouted, quickly setting Atlas down before darting after the man.
You pushed past onlookers, dodging carts and barrels, the thief just ahead, weaving between alleyways. Then, suddenly, someone stepped in.
A tall, white-haired man blocked the thiefâs path, moving with fluid confidence. Before the thief could turn, the man seized him by the collar and effortlessly lifted him off the ground. The thief writhed and kicked, but the stranger didnât flinch.
âNow, now,â the man said calmly, his voice smooth as still water. âLetâs not ruin the festive mood with petty crime.â
He held out his other hand, palm open. The thief groaned and quickly handed over the coin pouch. Without another word, the stranger dropped him to the ground. Guards rushed in from the crowd and dragged the man away. You arrived just as the commotion died down, shielding Atlas with your arm on instinct.
The white-haired man approached, holding your pouch. âYours, I believe,â he said.
You stared at him, not just out of gratitude, but out of something else. Something you couldnât quite name. His presence was overwhelming in a quiet way â like a hearth fire in winter, steady and warm but impossible to ignore.
âThank you so much, sir...â you hesitated, unsure how to address him.
He seemed to catch your pause, his gaze briefly flickering with something unreadable before he smiled. âPhainon.â
âSir Phainon⌠I canât thank you enough.â
âThank you for helping my sister, Sir Phainon,â Atlas said with an adorable bow.
Phainon chuckled, kneeling slightly to ruffle Atlasâs hair. âIt was my honor.â
You clutched the pouch to your chest. That was all the money I had leftâŚ
You found yourself staring at him; his striking white hair, his eyes the clear blue of the high heavens. He looked unlike anyone from Okhema. Had you met him before? Surely youâd remember a face like his.
You shook your head and composed yourself. âThen⌠let me repay you. Iâll buy you something from the stalls.â
He raised a brow, considering. âAnd if I decline?â
âThen Iâll insist,â you said with a half-smile.
He sighed with mock reluctance. âIn that case, I trust youâll choose wisely.â
The three of you began walking together, passing through the glowing streets of the night market. You watched him out of the corner of your eye as he lingered in front of a stall selling grilled meat skewers. You chuckled softly, stepping forward to place your order.
You handed one skewer to Atlas, then another to Phainon. As you held it out, your fingers brushed. A strange heat rose up your arm â not burning, not painful, just⌠familiar.
Phainon looked at your hand for a moment before taking the food from you, then offered a slow, easy smile.
âThank you, pretty lady.â
You turned away quickly, cheeks warming. That same feeling fluttered in your chest again, unnameable and unfamiliar.
The festival lanterns were beginning to dim, their golden hues paling against the indigo sky. The evening air had cooled, brushing against your cheeks with the gentle scent of roasted spices and trampled flowers. You hadnât intended to spend this much time with Phainon. In truth, you hadnât expected to spend any time at all. But something about his presence was disarming. He was steady, grounding even. He had a calmness that settled like silk over your nerves. Atlas adored him; that much was obvious.
Still, as you glanced up at the clock tower at the center of the city square, you knew time was slipping from your hands. If you donât return soon, someone might notice your absence.
You turned to Atlas, who was still licking honey off his fingers from a fruit skewer. âItâs time to go home, Atlas.â
He frowned, lower lip jutting out like it used to when he was a toddler. âCanât I stay with you a bit longer?â
You hesitated, your smile softening with guilt. âIâll try to visit again soon,â you said, crouching to ruffle his hair. âPromise.â
You guided him home, Phainon walking silently at your side. When you reached your familyâs doorstep, your mother opened the door, her eyes widening at the sight of a stranger beside you.
Her eyes flicked to Phainon. âWho is this?â she asked, ever the vigilant matron. âI donât think Iâve seen you around these parts, young man.â
Phainon bowed slightly, his voice smooth. âPhainon, maâam. Iâm from out of town. Recently relocated here.â
Your mother tilted her head. âI see,â she murmured, her gaze turning to you for explanation.
You cleared your throat. âHe helped us earlier. A thief tried to steal my coin pouch.â
Her eyes widened in alarm. âA thief?!â she gasped, her hand flying protectively to Atlasâs shoulder. âOh, by the gods... thank Khaslana you were there, Sir Phainon.â
Phainon gave a modest smile. âI only did what anyone would.â
Your mother turned to you, concern etched into her face. âI shouldâve known trouble might stir while your fatherâs away. With the general gone, they think they can take liberties.â
You offered a faint nod, placing a hand over hers. âIâll pray for your safety every night, Mother.â
She squeezed your hand gently. âAnd what about you?â she asked, more quietly. âIs your... husband treating you well?â
You froze, a familiar ache returning to your chest. The words caught in your throat, and you looked away. Phainon, standing just behind you, didnât say a word. But his gaze was steady and unreadable.
âI have to return now,â you said, dodging the question. You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around your mother. âPlease send father my love.â
She held you tighter than usual. âBe safe, my child.â
You pulled back, your throat tight. Atlas tugged at your cloak and hugged you around the waist once more. You turned away, waving goodbye to them, your motherâs expression sad, but you tried to reassure her with a bright smile. Phainon silently followed as you walked down the lantern-lit streets, heading toward the cityâs edge. The path grew quieter as you left the bustle behind.Â
âIt seemed like you hadnât seen them in a long time,â Phainon remarked softly from beside you. âWhy not stay longer?â
You exhaled, pulling your cloak tighter around yourself. âI canât. My husband is... strict.â
He stopped walking for a moment. âStrict?â he echoed, with a frown. âReally?â
You glanced at him, raising a brow. âHeâs a loving husband,â you said, sarcasm dripping from your tone. âSo possessive that I need permission just to walk the streets. Even then, I have to bring a chaperone like Iâm a child again.â
Phainonâs frown deepened, but he looked down, expression unreadable. âMaybe heâs just... worried. About your safety.â
You laughed bitterly, the sound carrying a note of pain. âIf thatâs the case, he has a strange way of showing it.â
He didnât reply to that. The silence between you grew heavier as the temple walls came into view in the distance.
âI can walk you back,â Phainon offered after a pause.
You looked at him. There was sincerity in his tone, no trace of insistence â just concern. âI live somewhere... unusual,â you said carefully. âNot many are allowed near it. Itâs better if I go alone.â
He nodded slowly. âThen let me walk you to the gates, at least.â
â...Alright.â
The rest of the walk was quiet. You tried to find something to say. Small talk felt foreign now, like a language you hadnât spoken in years. You glanced at Phainon from time to time, noticing the way the lantern light softened the sharp edges of his face.Â
Before you realized it, you were standing at the main gates.
You stopped and turned to face him. âThank you again, Sir Phainon. For everything.â
He smiled, tilting his head. âThank you, too. You were good company tonight.â
An awkward pause stretched before you. You cleared your throat and stepped back.
âWell... I should go. Farewell, Sir Phainon.â
âSafe travels, my lady,â he said, his voice just above a whisper.
You began to walk, the gravel crunching beneath your feet. But something tugged at the edge of your thoughts. You stopped and turned around.
âI never told you my name, did Iâ?â
But he was gone.
The street was empty. Lanterns swayed gently in the breeze. Not a shadow, not a trace of him remained.
Your shoulders slumped, a sigh escaping your lips. Still, a strange warmth lingered in your chest.
Maybe you would see him again.

CHAPTER III
Ever since you went to the festival, things have gotten⌠strange.
You hadnât expected the guards to make it easy for your return. In fact, youâd spent most of your walk back from the city wondering how youâd sneak past them again without getting caught. As you neared the outer wall of the temple, your pace slowed, eyes scanning the shadows. Your heart was pounding as you drew closer to the main gate.
Thatâs when you heard it â a low, rhythmic sound. You stopped in your tracks.
âŚWere those snores?
Your brows knit in confusion. That couldnât be⌠right?
But sure enough, when you rounded the corner, there they were: the two guards slumped against the wall, fast asleep while still standing on their feet. Their helmets were slightly tilted forward. The gate was ajar, just enough for someone your size to slip through.Â
Thereâs a weird feeling in your stomach. This wasnât normal.
Had someone broken into the temple while you were away? Were the guards faking it?Â
You hesitated, then began to move cautiously as you moved your feet against the stone path. You slipped through the gate, wincing slightly when it let out a small creak. You paused, eyes flicking back to the guards.
They were still snoring; if anything, it was louder.
You exhaled softly. You admit this situation was a bit odd, but you didnât want to think about it right now.
The temple grounds were unusually quiet. You wouldâve expected at least one priest or priestess wandering about at night. But there was no movement, no sound. There was only a gentle breeze and your own groggy footsteps.Â
Your unease grew, but you pushed it down. Worry about this tomorrow!
For now, you just needed to make it to your chambers without being seen. Not that it mattered, there was no one patrolling the halls. It was as though the temple had fallen into a temporary slumber.Â
You slipped into your room unnoticed. Changed your clothes. Lie in bed.
Sleep came quickly that night.
The next morning brought no answers; it brought more confusion.
You were halfway through your breakfast, your thoughts still adrift in the memory of last nightâs strange silence, when the Archbishop passed by. He gave you a warm, grandfatherly smile and patted your shoulder.Â
âWhen youâre finished, come to my office. Iâd like a word.â
Your stomach dropped. You hadnât thought heâd found out, but now, your mind raced.Â
Youâd explain, you told yourself as you walked toward his office. Youâd apologize, say you just wanted to see your family, that you had no ill intentions. Maybe even pretend to weep if needed.Â
You knocked gently. âCome in,â came his voice.
The Archbishop was at his desk, scribbling notes into a scroll. He looked up, eyes bright behind his glasses. He gestured for you to take a seat across from him. You sat down and braced yourself.
âHow are you feeling?â he asked casually, quill still in hand. âThe priestesses mentioned you werenât well yesterday.â
Your breath caught. Then you blinked.Â
What.
âAh, yes. I was just⌠tired,â You said, quickly recovering. âA little rest was all I needed.â
âGlad to hear it.â He smiled, setting his quill down and folding his hands. âWe wouldnât want you falling ill, would we?â
You forced a polite laugh, tension still clinging to your spine. He laughed with you, then leaned back in his chair.
âOne more thing,â he said, removing his glasses and setting them aside. âLord Khaslana has spoken to me.â
Your heart jumped into your throat. âHe⌠did?â
The Archbishop nodded, his expression unreadable. âHeâs permitted you to visit Okhema. Whenever youâd like.â
You sat there, stunned. âTruly? I can go alone?â
âYes. You may leave the temple without an escort.â
Your face lit up with disbelief and joy. âThank you,â you said quickly.
âThere is one condition,â he added gently. âYou are expected to return by parting hour, and you must âtalkâ with him every time before you go.â
You tilted your head. The Archbishop noticed your confusion as he let out a laugh.
âYes, I was taken aback by his last condition as well. I take it that you havenât been talking with him lately?â He asked.Â
You looked away, âI⌠may have.â You answered sheepishly.
âHaha! Maybe he just wanted a bit of attention from his dear wife.â The Archbishop stroked his beard.
Him? Wanting attention from you? Last time you checked, he was the one ignoring you!
âRight⌠But I will accept those conditions,â you replied.Â
He smiled and nodded. âThen that is all I wished to share.â
You stood to leave, already imagining the market stalls, the smell of roasted foods, and the distant music echoing through the streets. But something tugged at you â a bitter feeling in your chest.
You turned back at the doorway. âArchbishop?â
âYes?â
You hesitated for a few seconds. âDoes⌠my husband speak to you often?â
He furrowed his brow slightly, as though surprised by the question. âHmm⌠I wouldnât say often. But from time to time, yes. Usually, when he has something he wishes us to know.â
The ache bloomed again, sharp and cold inside your ribs. âI see. Thank you.â
You left the office quietly. Your footsteps echoed in the corridor as your thoughts spiraled. You were sure that your new freedom was because your husband had probably heard you talk with Phainon yesterday, he knows you snuck out, and he lets you. You were now sure that the guards and the gates were all his doing. He heard you and yetâŚ
Why wonât he speak to me?
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
True to his word, the templeâs gates no longer kept you captive. The priests, once hovering shadows at your every step, now bowed and let you pass unaccompanied. No more chaperones, no more restrictions, no more surveillance. For the first time since your marriage, you were free. And you felt it.Â
You began to spend more time in the city. You walked with Atlas to his school, sneaking in conversations with your friend at the bakery and other shops. Of course, you couldnât tell them the truth. You simply said youâd been promoted and reassigned to a more âsacredâ temple. That word tasted bitter on your tongue.Â
Even so, the temple staff noticed your glow; how your prayers grew longer and how you seemed to have more to say to your husband in the roofed balcony when you thought no one was there. Because now, you have something to talk about. Even if he never answered.
You ran into Phainon again one sunny afternoon, just outside the antique shop. This time, you introduced yourself properly.
âA beautiful name,â he said, and before he could follow up with something else, you gave him a stern look and reminded him that you were married. He only laughed, completely unbothered. It annoyed you and, somehow, made you smile.Â
He began showing up more often after that, just accompanying you wherever you go Heâd tell you about the fake antique he saw, and how he managed to convince someone from getting scammed. Sometimes youâd share a meal with him after you pick up Atlas from his classes. Atlas was more than happy to see him, talking about what he learned from school and even bragging about his grades.Â
The little traitor even stopped pulling your hand during festivals and started dragging Phainonâs around instead. The tall man always hunched a little so Atlas could reach him properly, grumbling playfully and shooting you half-hearted looks of betrayal. You only chuckled.Â
And now, here you were, seated on a bench near the festival square on the last day of the festival. The lanterns above cast flickering gold against the deepening dusk, music drifting from a nearby corner. You both sat with tired feet and half-eaten honeyed bread in hand, watching Atlas run off with some boys from school. You and Phainon started talking as usual.
You hadn't meant to bring up your troubles. But the words slipped through anyway.
âHe never talks to me,â you muttered, biting into the sticky bread. âNever comes to see me. Sometimes I wonder if Iâm invisible.â
Phainon cast a glance at you, his usually bright face dimming. âYour husbandâŚ? Maybe heâs⌠busy,â he said, cautiously.
âThatâs the thing,â You cut in, a bitter laugh escaping. âI know heâs probably busy with⌠whatever heâs doing, but donât tell me he doesnât have time to even see me? No need to talk for hours, just⌠see me.â
You shouldnât have underestimate what gods do. For all you know, he could be busy protecting Okhema from unseen threats. But you were pissed off, itâs rational for you to think this way.
Phainon looked like he wanted to say something, but swallowed it down. You stared off into the square, the sound of flutes drifting in the air.
âMaybeâŚâ Phainon began carefully, âMaybe heâs afraid.â his voice was too steady for someone just speculating. It made something tighten in your chest.
You blinked and turned to him. âAfraid? Of me? Iâm his wife.â You flail your arms, âHeâs faced monsters and armies. He has helped many people as well! He has all that powerâ I mean skills, and yet heâs afraid to meet his wife?â You scoffed.
Phainon sighed, letting out a soft, breathy laugh, âTo be fair, you are terrifying,â he mumbled.
You widened your eyes, looking at him with mock offense, âWhat did you say?â You asked, tone offended, though the smirk on your lips said otherwise.
Phainon raised his hands defensively, âWhat? I didnât say anything. Wow, the West Winds sure are strong nowadaysâŚâ He said, looking at his surroundings as if to check the wind.
You tried to hold your scowl, but it cracked at the edges as you let out a laugh, âYou defend him a lot for someone whoâs never met him.âÂ
Phainon smiled sheepishly. âLetâs just say⌠I can imagine his side of things. From one man to another.â
You let out a small huff, rolling your eyes with a fond smile. âHow about we just enjoy the festival tonight and leave our troubles behind, huh?â You said, rising to your feet and extending your hand to him.
Phainon hesitated for a moment, his gaze lingering on your outstretched hand. Then, without a word, he took it.Â
You gave his fingers a reassuring squeeze before gently tugging him upward. As he stood, you released his hand and turned, stepping forward with your newfound energy. Behind you, Phainon followed, your touch still lingering on his skin.
And the evening continued â gentle, golden, warm in ways you hadnât felt in a long while. You didnât notice the way Phainonâs gaze lingered. The way he watched you not with curiosityâŚ
But guilt.Â
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
It was the sixth month nowâ the Month of Everday.
The days were blazing, the sun bearing down on Okhema like a merciless spotlight. You had stopped visiting Okhema City as often, worried that too much time outside would leave you sun-drunk or worse, sick. So you remained within the white-stone halls of the temple, living in routine and resignation.
Oh, and of course â you still hadnât met your husband.
Still, you had a growing suspicion. Your prayers, though unanswered in voice, felt⌠heard.
Whenever you complained about the stifling heat, a gust of wind would roll in from the hills, brushing sweat from your brow like an invisible hand. Whenever you wandered into the gardens, that familiar loneliness clawing at your chest, youâd find yourself quietly joined by a bird perching near your feet, a butterfly settling on your shoulder, and a stray chimera curling beside your bench, purring softly.
Were those coincidences? Or was it his doing? You didnât know. You didnât want to know.
Today, the wind had picked up again. Cool enough that you decided to visit the temple library. The templeâs archive of fiction was surprisingly robust. Romance novels nestled among sacred texts, hidden like small rebellions. The priestesses pretended not to notice them, and you didnât ask questions.
If escapism was a sin, then you were already damned.Â
Oh well, at least youâll have your divine husband to save your soul later.
When you stepped inside, the doors were already open. The scent of parchment and lemon polish drifted in the warm air. Ah, the priestesses mustâve been cleaning. You walked down the rows of bookshelves until you reached the fiction corner. You were just beginning to trail your fingers across a row of colorful spines when hushed voices caught your attention from behind the adjacent shelf.Â
You didnât mean to listen. You werenât trying to eavesdrop. But thenâ
âItâs been a while since Lord Khaslana visited, huh?â
You froze.
âYeah⌠I miss when he used to talk about the stars with us,â one voice sighed.
âHe was so kind. Just⌠glowing. I always felt so calm around him.â
âEver since the wedding, though, heâs stopped coming. I wonder why?â
Your blood turned to ice. The ache in your chest, the one youâd been nursing in silence for six months, splintered. So he had been coming before. He could come in human form. He had been visiting. He laughed, talked, and spent time with the others.Â
Just⌠before you came.
You turned on your heel, left the shelf, and made your way to the Archbishopâs office with purpose burning in your steps. You didnât knock. You didnât need to.
The Archbishop startled in his chair, lifting his gaze. âChild, whatâsâ?â
âDid Lord Khaslana used to visit the temple?â You asked, your voice low but shaking.
He blinked. âYes⌠regularly, in fact. He often stayed in his chambers. He enjoyed visiting in his human form. Shared stories with us. Just casual talk.â
You swallowed. Your mouth tasted bitter. âWhen did he stop?â
The Archbishop exhaled slowly. âHe⌠hasnât visited since the wedding.â
You nodded, almost mechanically. âThank you,â you said, though your voice barely carried. You turned before he could say anything more.Â
You walked. Fast. You didnât know where you were going until you found yourself back in your chambers, your hands already gathering your cloak and satchel. You didnât greet the guards at the gates like usual. You barely acknowledged them at all.
Their concerned glances followed you, but you didnât stop.
You ran.
You ran through the dirt roads, through the burning streets of Okhema, your breath heavy and ragged. You didnât care about appearances anymore. You didnât care if people stared. You just needed to see someone who loved you.
You reached your parentsâ home, panting and soaked in sweat. Your hand trembled as you knocked. When the door opened, your motherâs eyes went wide at the sight of your tear-streaked face. She didnât ask questions and pulled you inside. She held you like she did when you were little, brushing your hair back and murmuring.
Your father was home too; he had just returned from his campaign. His rough soldierâs hands clenched into fists the moment he heard your sobs.Â
You sat between them on the couch, your words tumbling all at once. You told them everything. About the empty bedroom, the silence, the prayers that never answered in words, the dinners eaten alone.Â
The months of hoping for something â anything.Â
âI hate him!â you choked, collapsing into your motherâs arms. âI hate him.â
She stroked your hair, whispering, âDonât say that, sweetheart. What if he hears you?â
âI donât care! I want him to hear me!â You screamed into her shoulder. âI hate him! I hate him! He left me! I donât want to go back!â
Your father stood in silence. Then, in a voice like thunder, he said, âIâll kill him.â
You pulled back from your mother in shock, breathing still ragged, âWhat?! Fatherââ you sobbed, âhave you lost your mind?!â
âI mean it,â He snapped. âGod or not. No one does this to my daughter.â
âDearest, calm down. Donât say that,â Your mother gasped, rising to stop him. âYouâll get yourself killed.â
He paced, shaking. âI do not care! It is not impossible to kill a god.â He muttered, âI offered her over, thinking that he would protect her.â
You looked up at him, tear-streaked, heart pounding. The sight was enough to stop him. Then slowly, he knelt beside you.Â
âForgive me⌠I shouldâve neverâŚâ He trailed off, gritting his teeth, âThis is all my fault. Forgive me, my daughter.â
You wrapped your arms around him, nodding on his shoulder.
The rest of the evening passed quietly. Atlas had just come back from school. Thank the gods you had already washed your face. You greeted him with a smile as he told you about what he learned in school. Your mother ushered Atlas to take a bath and to change. He nodded and went straight to his room.
Everyone was at the dining table, your mother bringing out your favorite food. Your father, still trying to calm himself, began recounting silly stories from his latest travels, with Atlas asking him hundreds of questions every time your father said a sentence. The sight made you smile. It was warm and familiar.Â
But eventually, the moment had to end.Â
You declined their offer to stay the night, thanking them both for comforting you. You promised to return soon. Your mother pulled you into one more hug. âI love you, sweetheart.â She whispered, her voice helpless.
âI love you, too, mother.â
You stepped back into the streets of Okhema. The warmth of home faded behind you. You wondered if Phainon would appear tonight. But he was nowhere to be found. Maybe it was for the best, youâre not exactly in a condition to talk to anyone right now.Â
You arrived at the temple just as the sun began to dip below the horizon. You told the priestesses not to wait for you at dinner, informing them that you had already eaten with your family. In your chambers, you changed out of your clothes, washed your face, and leaned against the window. A drop of water hit your hand, causing you to look up.
â...Rain?â you whispered. The sky above was darkening quickly, a deep grey settling over the hills. A crack of thunder rumbled in the distance.Â
You watched the rain fall, slow and steady. You didnât know why, but something about the rain felt⌠different.
You closed the window and walked towards your bed. The sound of rain tapping the glass and thunder rolling over the skies above rocked you into sleep.

CHAPTER IV
The first time Khaslana heard your fatherâs prayers, he was sitting alone beneath the wheeling stars in the Vortex of Genesis. His throne was carved from marble and fiery amber, but tonight, his eyes were downcast, quiet.
The voice of a mortal reached him. It was frantic and raw. A father, kneeling in bloodied armor beneath a broken sky. He had offered his daughter to the Worldbearing God in exchange for deliverance. Not her life, but her fate. Her soul. To be entrusted to him. To become his.Â
Khaslana didnât speak, nor did he descend. But he heard and he listened.Â
With a wave of his hand, the heavens cracked open. Meteors streaked through the red sky, cleaving through the monsters of the Black Tide with divine precision. Screams of terror turned into shouts of awe.
Your fatherâs voice rang out among the crowd. But the god had already turned away. There were other matters to attend to.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
Time passed differently for gods; A year for mortals was a blink for him. Yet when he returned to the mortal plane in his human form, the earth had changed again.
His hair was now snow-white, his eyes the piercing blue of high summer skies, and he walked through the halls of his personal temple, blending in like any other human. The Archbishop welcomed him warmly, inviting him into his study. The scent of honeyed tea and spiced bread filled the room. Though Khaslana had no need for food anymore, he accepted it out of politeness. Human cuisine always stirred something faint within him, perhaps it was a memory, a warm feeling.
âIt seems the time has come for your wedding, Lord Khaslana,â the Archbishop began.Â
The god paused, a piece of pastry untouched in his hand as he raised a brow.
âThe one with the Generalâs daughter,â the Archbishop clarified. âSheâs of age now. And, if I may speak freely⌠sheâs become quite the beauty.â
Ah. That exchange..
âHas the time come already?â he murmured with a quiet laugh, more to himself than to the priest.
âYes,â the Archbishop replied, watching him carefully. âThough I must admit, I didnât expect you to accept the offer.â
Khaslana didnât answer immediately. His gaze lingered on the teaâs surface, where the reflection of his own face shimmered.Â
âThe law of Equivalence,â he said at last, voice low. âAs old as the breath of the world.â
The Archbishop remained silent.
âWhen a mortal offers something of true value, something that wounds them, the heavens are bound to answer. The greater the sacrifice, the deeper the prayer carves its way into us. And a daughterâŚâ He looked up. âA daughter is no small offering.â
âSo you accepted⌠not out of desire?â the Archbishop asked softly.
âNo,â Khaslana said. âI accepted because it was owed.â
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
The wedding day arrived.Â
Seated upon his throne, Khaslana watched. The ceremony unfolded beneath him like a sunlit dream.
You stepped onto the temple balcony, dressed in white and gold, the light catching the silk of your dress like water running over moonstone. Every moment, the way you walked and the way your fingers clutched stirred something ancient in him.
And when you lifted your face to the sky, full of resolve, something inside him ached. You were radiant. Perhaps⌠too bright for a god like him.
Aglaea has blessed her, he thought. Iâll have to ask her about this later.
He could not descend. Not yet. So he sent a warm, soft, laced with summer and sunlight, breeze to touch your cheek in place of his hand. And when you spoke your vows, so simple yet earnest, he smiledânot as Khaslana, the bearer of worlds, but as a man. A soul. Phainon.Â
As you pledged yourself to him, he answered. Not with words, but with the divine. The stone beneath your feet lit with a celestial glow. The covenant is now sealed.Â
As the ceremony ended, he immediately left the vortex, but not to you.
His mind raced with questions: How does one protect a mortal wife? How does one hold her without harm?
He went to Castrum Kremnos, seeking the advice of Mydeimos, the God of Strife, and also his closest friend. He had led his people to many victories. He was battle-hardened and unshaken. His people look up to him for his protection, and almost all of his people were warriors or warriors-to-be. Surely, heâs the one best when it comes to protection, right?
That was his first mistake.
âWhy ask me such stupid questions?â Mydeimos grunted, arms crossed. âTreat her like any subject⌠just more important.â
Khaslana frowned. âDo all Kremnoans speak in riddles?â
A vein bulged in Mydeimosâ forehead. âJust get her guards! When she goes outside, someone follows her. Feed her. Protect her.â
Ah. Khaslana nodded slowly.
And just like that, he returned to his temple, appearing in the Archbishopâs office in his mortal form. The old man barely flinched â already used to his godâs sudden appearances. Khaslana gave his orders, guards, routines, and what was expected. The Archbishop was a bit puzzled, but he obeyed.Â
That night, Khaslana stood again in the Vortex of Genesis. Stars spun above like galaxies caught in breath. But his gaze was fixed below.Â
On you.
There you sat in your new chambers, at the edge of his bed, alone. Waiting.
Aglaea, the Goddess of Romance, made her presence known behind him, âShouldnât you be down there with your wife, Deliverer?â She asked, voice gentle and curious.Â
Khaslana turned to her, about to ask what she had meant. Then his breath caught in his throat.
Ah. The wedding night. Where couples would usually consummate their marriage.
He turned back to your room. You had changed from your temple robes into more delicate garments. You sat at the edge of the bed in silence, tugging at the edges of your sleeves.Â
âYou fear her,â Aglaea murmured, stepping beside him.
âI do not fear her,â He replied too quickly. Then after a moment, âI fear what I no longer understand.
Aglaea tilted her head. âSheâs human.â
He closed his eyes. âI was, too, once. I remember what it was to love, to burn, to yearn with a heart that beat for another. But now⌠I remember only the shape of those feelings, not their weight. Like remembering the warmth of a fire I can no longer feel.â
His eyes drifted back to you, âI know what she hopes for. I know what I should do. But what if I fall short? What if I hurt her without meaning to?â He turned to look at Aglaea.Â
âShe wants with no fear. Speaks freely. Cries and smiles and hopes. How am I supposed to touch that⌠without breaking it?â
Aglaeaâs face softened. âSo the god who bears the world is afraid of breaking a single girlâs heart?â
He gave a dry smile, âBecause I have broken nations without meaning to. What damage might I do⌠when I mean to touch?â
She shook her head, smiling faintly, âHearts donât shatter from being touched, Khaslana. They break from being left waiting.â She turns to leave, her voice fading with her steps.Â
He stayed silent, watching as you curled up in bed. Alone.Â
He took a deep breath before he descended in silence.
He appeared in his divine form, the chamber awash in starlight and wind. You lay peacefully, fast asleep. So small compared to him. His hand hovered near your cheek, trembling slightly.
You were⌠fragile.
He could cover your entire face with one palm. If he tried to touch you, would he shatter you like porcelain?
He withdrew.
Then disappeared again, leaving you in the quiet of the night.Â
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
Khaslana had watched your daily life unfold with quiet diligence. From the celestial cradle of the Vortex of Genesis, he observed everything. How you rose with the morning light, how you bathed with graceful efficiency, how you chose your robes each day with a frown of indecision. He even listened in on your earliest prayers, chuckling softly to himself at how bashful your voice became when you "talked" to him aloud for the first time. Something was endearing about the way your voice trembled.
He watched as you walked through the streets of Okhema with a chaperone trailing behind you, weaving between markets and festival stalls. He felt assured that you were safe, that you were protected, as Mydeimos had advised.Â
And yet, he never answered your prayers with words.
He could have. He had the power to appear at your side in an instant, to offer his voice in response. But a part of him hesitated. What if you asked why he hadnât come to you? Why hadnât he appeared on your wedding night? Why hadnât he even seen your face-to-face since the vow? He wasnât ready to answer that.
It was now the Month of Joy, and for the first time, your prayers carried a different weight. No longer just requests for health or protection.Â
You began to whisper your loneliness.Â
At first, he was puzzled. You were allowed to leave the temple grounds. Why didnât you simply request permission through the Archbishop? A chaperone was all it took.
But then, he noticed something⌠odd.
Your behavior changed. You lingered in corridors longer than necessary, watching the guards with sharp eyes. Your gaze flitted from corner to corner when you thought no one was watching. You studied the templeâs layout as though trying to memorize every hallway, every path.
Suspicious. Curious. Restless.
Was this normal behavior for humans? Khaslana tried to remember how he had acted as a mortal. But his memories, though vivid in form, felt distant in emotion.
And your prayers changed again. They still asked for his blessings and guidance, but now they sounded⌠sharper. Each line was laced with the fire of frustration. Threats, almost.Â
Ah⌠those suspicious behaviors and those oddly vague yet threatening prayers⌠You were trying to sneak out. That amused him more than anything.
Cute. He thought, lips curling with dry humor.
Then came the night of your escape.
Khaslana had already planned ahead. He contacted the Archbishop using the stone tablet etched with his sigil, the divine channel between the Vortex and his temple, asking him to gather the priests and priestesses for an urgent âdiscussion.â The Archbishop, ever dutiful, obeyed. When the clergy assembled that night, expecting celestial orders, Khaslana simply asked how they were doing. No divine proclamations, no rituals. Just⌠small talk.
With the templeâs attention occupied, he turned his gaze back to you.
There you were â walking the cobbled streets of Okhema in the moonlight, your younger brother trailing behind you, eyes full of wonder. A smile tugged at Khaslanaâs lips.
But then⌠a thief. Quick hands snatched your coin purse and darted through the crowd.
Before Khaslana could think, his body moved. In an instant, he teleported down to the mortal plane, hidden behind a tree in the cityâs plaza. The thief was already headed his way, and without effort, Khaslana caught him by the collar, lifting him off the ground like a child.
He retrieved your coin bag and turned toward the sound of your footsteps. You had run after the thief, breathless, face flushed, and worried. Khaslana approached you with a quiet composure, holding the pouch in hand.
âYours, I believe,â he said, voice steady. Though his pulse mightâve been racing.
âThank you so much, sir...â you replied, dipping your head politely. His breath caught slightly. Your voice sounded so much clearer now, spoken directly rather than through the haze of prayer.
Then you looked at him expectantly.
Oh. You were waiting for a name.
He blinked once before smiling with effortless charm, âPhainon.â
âSir Phainon... I can't thank you enough,â you said again, gratitude glowing in your eyes.
Your little brother approached, too, grinning up at him and offering his thanks. Khaslana reached out and ruffled the boyâs hair, warmth blooming in his chest.
He shouldâve left then. It was safer that way. Butâ
âThen... let me repay you. I'll buy you something from the stalls.â
He paused. Considered it. âAnd if I decline?â
âThen I'll insist.â
There it was. That smile. How could he say no to his wife?
So he agreed, reluctantly, but with a small twist of amusement. You led the way through the colorful rows of vendors and festival lights, your brother bouncing ahead. It had been centuries since heâd stood in a human celebration like this.
His eyes lingered on a stall that sold meat skewers. Oh, those looked heavenly.
Suddenly, you stepped in front of him and ordered two skewers. Without hesitation, you handed one to him, the other to your brother. His hand hesitated as he took the skewer from yours, your fingers brushing his in that brief contact. Warm. Real. He held onto that sensation like it might disappear.
âThank you, pretty lady.â He smiled.
Your cheeks turned crimson.
Khaslana â no, Phainon â felt something loosen in his chest.
He stayed with you longer than he planned, drawn into the simple joy of watching you laugh, eat, and enjoy yourself. He noticed how your smiles here, in the mortal realm, were fuller than the ones you wore inside the temple.
He wanted more of that.Â
But then he saw your expression shift after looking at the clock tower. You quickly offered to bring your brother back home. Ah, yes, it was getting late for a youngster like him. He followed you back home, greeted your mother, and stayed silent after. Just watching you interact with your family.Â
After that encounter, he had tried to dissuade you from leaving so soon. Really, it was fine if you wanted to stay longer. He could just tell the Archbishop to turn a blind eye for tonight.
But then, something you said made him stop in his tracks.Â
âI canât. My Husband is⌠strict.â
His brows knit together. Him? Strict?
âStrict? Really?â He hadnât meant to sound so offended.
You looked back at him, an eyebrow raised.
âHe's a loving husband,â you said with dry sarcasm, the same tone Mydeimos would usually use on him, he notes. âSo possessive that I need permission just to walk the streets. Even then, I have to bring a chaperone like I'm a child again.â
Phainon frowned, visibly stung. That wasnât possessiveness? It was protection. But⌠maybe heâd misjudged what that protection felt like.
âMaybe he's just... worried. About your safety,â he offered gently.
âIf that's the case, he has a strange way of showing it.â
The words landed like a stone in his stomach.
When he walked you to the city gates and watched you disappear into the night, a heaviness settled in his chest. He sighed, teleporting back to the Vortex, where the stars coiled like a divine storm above his head.
The Archbishop was still in his study. Through the sacred stone, Khaslana reached out once more and delivered new instructions â gentler rules, freer movement, and no more chaperones. The Archbishop, though clearly confused, agreed without question.
He owed you that much, at the very least.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
Truly, revising the templeâs rules had been the right decision.
You had begun to bloom.Â
Your voice in prayer softened from its once-frustrated edge to something warmer, more sincere. Each time you entered the temple sanctuary, he could sense it: a calmness in your posture, a gentler rhythm to your words. You spoke to him now not as a distant stranger, but as someone familiar.Â
You told him about your plans before venturing into town, where you might go, and what you hoped to find. And when you returned, youâd come to the roofed balcony and recounted everything to him. From the people you saw, the food you tried, to the new book you discovered tucked away in a corner stall.
It had become your ritual. And though you didnât hear his answers, he listened to every word like scripture.
Your frequent visits to Okhema meant he could now meet you â not as Khaslana, the Worldbearing God, but as Phainon.
Still, a quiet fear gnawed at the back of his mind.
What if you came to prefer Phainon? What if the smiling stranger with the white hair and blue eyes, the one who could laugh and tease and walk beside you, eclipsed the unseen god to whom you had been bound?
But those fears melted the day he tried flirting with you in the middle of a market stall, only for you to straighten and remind him, quite firmly, that you were a married woman.
He had laughed, not because of the words, but because of the quiet, overwhelming relief that swelled in his chest.
You still remembered him.
Not just the idea of a husband, but him. Khaslana. The one cloaked in divinity, hidden behind stars and clouded sky. You still held space for him.
After that second encounter, meeting you came more naturally. Your conversations grew longer. He no longer felt the sting of hesitation when you smiled at him, or the jolt of nervousness when your fingers brushed again. And in your evening prayers, you started mentioning Phainon with a kind of amused fondness that made him laugh in the Vortex.
It was adorable hearing you try to hide how much you enjoyed his company.
Whenever you visited the city, heâd always find a way to cross your path. Never too obvious. Never too frequent. But enough. Enough to hear your voice, to see you light up when Atlas tugged on his arm, to walk beside you, even if only for a little while.
He cherished those fleeting moments more than you could ever know.
And when you were back in the temple, fast asleep in your chambers, he would sometimes return in his divine form, a silent shadow bathed in starlight. He would stand at the foot of your bed, watching your chest rise and fall, listening to the soft sighs you made as you dreamed. In those quiet hours, something stirred in his chest â something foreign and familiar all at once. A tenderness and longing he could scarcely name.
You had gotten closer. Perhaps that was why your words on the final night of the festival struck him so deeply.
You had laughed together that evening, walked through bright-lit streets beneath strings of lanterns. But when the topic shifted to your marriage, about the husband you had never seen, your smile dimmed. Your voice cracked, wrapped in quiet sorrow.
You confessed how confused you felt, how hurt you were. How you didnât understand why he â Khaslana â hadnât come to see you. And in a low, guarded voice, you asked aloud if he even cared.Â
He listened, seated beside you as Phainon, heart heavy with guilt. Each word was a knife, though you didnât know you were placing the blade in his hand. He had wanted to speak. To explain.Â
To say I do care. I watch over you every day. I listen to every prayer, every breath. Iâve never left your side.
But instead, he defended Khaslana as if he were someone else entirely.
A stranger.
That night, when he returned to the Vortex with questions running through his mind. Should he tell you the truth? Reveal the name behind the face you now trust? Or would it ruin everything you had come to build between you?
No, heâd just have to keep it a secret. Just for a little longer.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
When the Month of Everday rolled in, Phainon had begun answering your prayers more deliberately.
When you sat alone in the gardens, shoulders hunched, eyes faraway, he sent soft-pawed animals to sit with you; a curious chimera here, a fluttering cluster of butterflies there, chirping birds above. Gentle companions â not enough to startle, but enough to soothe.
When you muttered beneath your breath about the suffocating heat, he stirred the air with his fingers, sending winds to cool the sweat from your brow. You never seemed to notice the small cloud that followed you whenever you stepped beyond the temple gates, shielding you from the sun like a loyal servant.
He watched you and thought, Yes, this is enough.
The days had been steady. Almost peaceful.
Until he heard your sobs.
At that moment, he was in the midst of an argument with Mydeimos, a spirited bet over who could lift an entire mountain range faster. Their fists pounded the cliffside as they compared strength like war-hardened brothers.
Your sounds reached him like a whiplash.
It was soft at first. It sounded fragile, but unmistakable.Â
Then, loud sobbing.
Phainon stilled.
His head jerked slightly, listening. Mydeimos raised a brow at the sudden silence.
âWhat's the matterâ?â
But Phainon was already gone.
He reappeared just behind your parentsâ house. The sky above was bright, a contrast to your emotion. And through the walls, your cries tore through him like thunder splitting stone.
âI hate him!â
He froze, eyes wide, and his breath caught in his throat. The words struck like a blow to the chest, and his pupils trembled.
âI hate him.â
No.
No, no, that canât be right.
He stepped closer, pressing himself against the shadows of the wall, every muscle in his divine body locked in place.
Then your motherâs voice, soft and warning: âDonât say that, sweetheart. What if he hears you?â
You didnât hesitate as you answered, âI donât care! I want him to hear me!â
The air around him cracked.Â
âI hate him!â
His heart stuttered.
âI hate him!â
Stop... pleaseâ
âHe left me!â
No. No. Iâm right hereâ!
âI donât want to go back!â
That sentence hit harder than any divine weapon ever had. For a moment, time twisted. The world stilled. Your voice echoed in his head on a cruel loop, every syllable sharper than the last.
I hate him.He left me.I donât want to go back.
He could no longer hear the muffled protests of your father or the sound of your motherâs arms pulling you in close. None of it registered. All he could hear was you.
The pain was unfamiliar. Foreign and all-consuming.
Why?
Why did you feel this way?
He had given you everything: comfort, safety, freedom. The power to come and go as you pleased. He answered your prayers. Protected you. Watched you. Even the smallest desire, he met with quiet, invisible care.
So why did you hate him?
He vanished once more, light splitting the space where he stood.
Back in the Vortex of Genesis, the stars above spiraled violently, distorted by the storm brewing in his chest. He hovered in the silence of the divine plane, your cries still ringing in his ears, over and over.
The look on your face. The tears that spilled down your cheeks. The grief in your voice.
It was all because of him.
Even when he kept his distance to protect you. Even when he tried to be careful. He still hurts you.
And he didnât understand.
Phainonâs â no, Khaslanaâs â breathing ragged, he fell to his knees. Divine form trembling, hands clenched so tightly the stone beneath him cracked. His heartbeat thundered like war drums in his ears. Mydeimos' spear had pierced his chest once in battle, but it hadnât hurt like this.
This... this was heartbreak.
Tears welled in his eyes, burning hot. They fell freely, only to sizzle and vanish into steam the moment they touched the sacred ground beneath him.
âYou hate⌠meâŚâ he whispered.
You hate me. You hate me. You hate me.
He repeated it in his mind like a curse, and the storms began to brew.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
Okhema had been ravaged by storms for over a week.
Thunder rolled through the heavens day and night, shaking rooftops and soaking the earth with relentless rain. The fields were drowning. Crops began to rot beneath the mud. Work halted, streets emptied, and the people whispered of divine wrath. It was the worst weather Okhema had seen in generations.Â
High above, Aglaea watched the storm with a quiet frown. The Goddess of Romance was no stranger to divine tantrums; gods and mortals alike threw them when love faltered.
But this one had become⌠excessive.Â
Not only had Hyacinthia, Goddess of the Sky, blistered her ears with complaints about the ruined blue of her canvas, but one of Aglaeaâs golden threads was trembling. Dangerously so. Nearly fraying at the edge.Â
A divine-mortal bond. Now that was rare.
Aglaea leaned closer, fingers brushing the glowing weave, noting its resonance. This wasnât an ordinary thread, tangled from passing crushes or whispered longing. This one pulsed with something ancient and sacred. A thread that should never have been this brittle so soon.
She hummed, amused. âNow⌠who do you belong to, I wonder?âÂ
Without another word, she vanished from her realm.Â
In a breath, she stood within the Vortex of Genesis. Stars swirled in slow, infinite spirals, like pain spilled into the void. She walked with grace past the twelve thrones of the Twelve, each grand in their own way.Â
And there he was.Â
At the edge of the vast platform, Khaslana stood alone. The Worldbearing God, cloaked in shadow, stared outward into nothing. His broad wings, once radiant with power, now hung heavy behind him. Their gold and amethyst plumage dulled like tarnished glass. The eternal flame of his hair, normally burning like a solar flare, flickered dimly above his brow. Even his halo had lost its luster.
Aglaea paused beside him, her presence warm, âI see Okhemaâs having quite the weather â on the sixth month, no less,â she said lightly, her voice breaking the hush.
No response.Â
She tried again, more pointed this time. âHyacinthia has come to me to complain that a certain Worldbearing God has been painting over her skies with stormclouds. She says they look like⌠hm⌠what was it that she said?â She tapped her chin with a playful smile, ââa muddy, sulking bruise.â Quite poetic, donât you think?â
Khaslana didnât so much as flinch. His eyes remained fixed on the stars, or perhaps⌠beyond them.
Aglaea folded her arms beneath her chest. âSo⌠nothing to say about the storms, then?â
Still silence.
Her eyes narrowed, studying him more closely. His face was drawn, the sharp lines of his jaw clenched tight beneath his dim halo. Everything about himâfrom the slouch of his wings to the rigid set of his shouldersâradiated tension.
âThe crops are dying,â she said more gently now. âThe streets are flooded. The people of Okhema are starting to wonder what they did to anger their precious god.â
At last, his jaw shifted.
ââŚLet her complain,â he muttered, voice low and rough as crushed stone.
âOh, she is,â Aglaea smirked faintly. âBut I didnât come for Hyacinthia.â
She raised her hand, and with a glimmer of divine threadwork, a golden string appeared. It curled in the air between them, one end wrapped around Khaslanaâs divine presence, the other trailing far downward, through the layers of the world as if reaching for someone below.Â
âThis thread,â Aglaea said, letting it swirl around her fingers, âhas been trembling all week. Do you know how rare it is to see a bond like this? Between a god and a human? This isnât just affection. Itâs something sacred. But right now,â her eyes narrowed, âitâs falling apart.â
Khaslana said nothing, but his brow furrowed deeper. Then, finally, he spoke.
âShe said she hated me.â
Aglaeaâs eyes softened, a quiet breath leaving her lips. âAh.â
âI did everything for her,â he said, and though his voice was calm, there was a bewildered ache behind it. âI protected her. Gave her food, shelter, and freedom. Everything she could want. And stillâŚâ He looked down at his hands, clenching them slowly. âShe said I left her.â
âWell,â Aglaea said carefully, âdidnât you?â
His head snapped toward her, but she didnât flinch.
âYou gave her your temple, your guards, your blessings. But not you. You let her see her family, her brother, but not her husband.â
âI was there,â he said sharply. âI watched her. I listened to every prayer. I shielded her when no one else could.â
âBut did you hold her?â Aglaea asked softly.
Her words landed like thunder on Khaslana. He didnât answer.
âShe is human, Khaslana. Mortals arenât fed by silent devotion. They need to touch, they need voice, and presence. She needs her husband. Not just her god.â
Khaslana looked away.
âI never wanted a bride,â he muttered. âI only answered a prayer⌠one too steeped in blood and desperation to ignore.â
Aglaea raised an eyebrow. âThen cast her off. Let her go.â
The thread shimmered between them, its glow dimmer than before. He didnât speak, his jaw tensed, and his fists trembling.Â
âI canât,â he said at last, voice cracked.
âEven if I never asked for it, I canât let her go. I donât know when it happened, but I canât imagine the temple without her steps echoing in the halls. I canât remember what silence was before her voice filled it.â
âShe was a burden I never meant to carry,â he whispered, âbut now⌠sheâs a weight I donât know how to set down.â
âThen carry her properly,â she said. âBecause if you donâtâsheâll tear herself from your hands just to feel free again.â
Khaslanaâs voice turned hard. âYou speak as if I could have simply walked into that room. As if lying beside her wouldnât risk shattering her ribs or scorching her skin.â
Aglaea tilted her head. âIs that truly what you fear?â
He was quiet. Then, softly:
âMy form isnât what it used to be. Iâm not some soft-lit statue. My body is lined with cracks. My shoulders are spiked. My hands are claws. I have destroyed armies with the weight of my breath.â
His claws curled against his palm.
âIf I touch her⌠I would ruin her.â
Aglaea was silent for a long breath.
Then she said, âSo instead, you let her ruin herself. Wondering what she did wrong. Believing she was unwanted.â
Khaslanaâs expression faltered. Barely. But enough to show the storm beneath.
âShe hates me.â
âShe was lonely,â Aglaea replied, her voice quiet.
He turned from her, âYou wouldnât understand.â
But Aglaea only stepped closer.
âI understand love,â she said, her voice gaining strength. âAnd I understand what it means to show up, even when itâs terrifying. Iâve seen mortals risk heartbreak, war, even death, just to reach each other.â
She placed a hand on his shoulder, steady and warm, âYour body may be forged from flames, Khaslana. But your soul still longs.â
She stepped back.
âIâll leave the skies alone for now. But if you let this thread break, the world may not end... but something inside you will.â
And then, like the soft falling of starlight, she vanished, leaving Khaslana alone with his thoughts.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
You stood by the window, worry etched into your features as you gazed out at the endless downpour. The storm still hadnât passed.Â
For the past week, the rain had come in vicious cycles. It would rage from Lucid Hour to Parting Hour, winds howling, thunder deafening, and rain lashing the windows like angry fists. Then, it would slow to a drizzle during Curtain Fall Hour, only to begin again at Entry Hour the next day.Â
You were grateful that the corridors connecting your chambers to the temple were covered. Without them, even the simple act of fetching food would have been an ordeal.Â
Now, wrapped in a blanket, you remained cooped up in your chambers, your fingers curled around the warm fabric to help shield you from the cold. The sound of rain pelting the stone walls had become constant, almost maddening.Â
Then came a knock at your door.Â
You blinked, startled, and rushed to answer. Standing in the doorway was the Archbishop, his robes damp at the edges, his face weary but composed.Â
âForgive me for coming so suddenly, my child,â He said gently.
You stepped aside without a word, allowing him to enter. He moved with care, as if unsure whether he was intruding.
âYouâve never visited me in my chambers before, Your Excellency,â you said as you shut the door behind him.Â
He gave a small nod, his hands folding behind his back as he walked a few steps in. âIs something wrong?â You asked, sending a weight in his silence.Â
He stopped at your question and drew a deep breath. When he turned to face you, his expression was troubled.Â
âI believe this storm is Lord Khaslanaâs doing.â
Your brows furrowed. You stepped closer, clutching your blanket more tightly around your shoulders.Â
âWhat makes you think that?â You asked, your voice low.
The Archbishop looked down, hesitating before he met your gaze again. âThis has happened before, there would be raging storms and our prayers would take more effort to be heard. And right now⌠He has not responded to our prayers,â he said, voice subdued. âNor has he answered any of our calls to commune with him.â
You blinked, silence stretching between you. There was a heavy feeling in your chest.
âThere are reports from the city,â he went on, âthat the flooding is getting worse. The crops are dying. Food stores are spoiling faster than we can replenish them. Children are falling ill. Transportation has all but stopped.â His shoulder sank. âI fear we may be approaching a crisis if this keeps up.â
His eyes reached yours, weary and pleading. âHave you tried praying or talking to him to stop this storm? Did he answer?â
You let out a soft scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. âForgive me, but asking me is pointless.â
You took a step back, your voice tightening. âHeâs never responded to me. Not once. He has never spoken, has never appeared. Even if I did pray, he wouldnât respond.â
The Archbishopâs expression fell, but he didnât argue. Instead, he stepped forward and gently took both of your hands in his.Â
âYou are his wife,â he said, his voice steady despite the desperation behind it.Â
You looked away, your jaw clenched. âOnly in name.â
He held your hands a moment longer before releasing them. âTry,â was all he said.Â
Then, with a small bow, he turned and left you standing alone. The silence that followed was deafening.
You bit your lip, frustration burning behind your eyes. Was this storm his answer? Did he hear you that night at your parentsâ home, shouting your anger at him?Â
You let out a low, bitter sigh and dropped onto the edge of your bed. It didnât matter what you felt. People were suffering, the city drowning, and your family â your people â were in danger.Â
You had no choice now. You would have to swallow your pride for the sake of Okhema.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
It was useless.
No matter how many times, in however many ways you tried, your prayers were met with silence. You had offered devotion, tears, your voice hoarse with pleading. And still, nothing. Lord Khaslana remained absent, and with each passing storm-filled day, your anger burned hotter beneath the weight of your helplessness.
How could you not? Heâs acting like a child throwing tantrums!
Youâve had enough. If the passive approach didnât work, you need a more aggressive approach.Â
You left before dawn. The thunder, for once, had settled to a distant murmur, like a beast sleeping fitfully beneath the clouds. You threw on the thickest cloak you owned, but the rain had already soaked you through the bone before you reached the temple gates.Â
The guards cried after you, the priestesses stepped into your path in panic, but you didnât stop. You shook their hands off your arms. Your boots splashed through rising pools of mud as you walked with purpose â not to the city square, not to shelter, but to the hills. To the highest point you could reach, far from protection, far from anyone who might stop you.Â
Your fingers trembled with cold, your soaked cloak clinging to your back like a second skin. The rain was relentless now, an endless sheet drumming down from the bruised sky. The winds howled against your face, strong enough to nearly topple you off balance with each step.Â
But you pushed through it anyway.
Wet hair whipped against your cheeks, sticking to your skin. Mud pulled at your feet, but you climbed higher. The temple had long disappeared behind you, and now only the city lights flickered below, blurred by the mist.
By the time you reached the hillâs summit, your breath came in shallow gasps. Every muscle in your body ached, screaming at you. Your lungs felt like it was burning from the cold, and your teeth chattered uncontrollably.
Yet you stood there against the blackened sky. Your chest heaved as you felt the air was heavier.Â
âLord Khaslana!â You screamed, the name ripped from your lungs, echoing into the storm. You paused, but no reply came.Â
The rain struck harder now, angry needles against your skin, âIâve prayed!â you shouted, louder. âIâve waited, Iâve begged! But you â you arrogant, absent god! You stayed silent through it all!â Your voice cracked under the weight of months of abandonment.
âYou bring storms to punish the people of Okhema just because I said what I felt?!â
Lightning crackled overhead, illuminating the sky for a breathless moment. You didnât flinch. You glared into the storm as if daring it to answer.
âOh, send your thunders then! Strike me down if it pleases you!â Your chest rose and fell rapidly as the words poured out in rage and desperation.
âJust stop hiding and face your wife youâ youâ!â You clenched your fists. Your body trembled from a final, reckless kind of defiance.
âCOWARD!â you screamed with all the force your soul could muster.Â
A blinding light shattered the sky. Thunder cracked loud enough to split stone. Then came the strike.
A bolt of lightning split the earth just ahead of you. The blast threw a gust of wind so strong it forced you a step back, shielding your face with your arms. But when the light faded and the roar quietedâhe was there.
He stood tall, towering over you by more than triple your height.
Radiant and terrifying.
Golden wings streaked with violet unfurled behind him like a storm split in half. His body glowed like cracked marble, lines of molten gold spilling from the fractures across his limbs and chest. Spikes jutted from his shoulders, golden and sharp, and his hair blazed like the sun.
His clawed hands flexed at his sides. And those eyesâthose burning, golden eyesâpierced through the veil of rain like twin suns, fixed solely on you.
You staggered back in awe, your breath hitching as his presence filled the air like a pressure too great to bear. But before you could speak, the storm around you softened. A dome of warm, golden light shimmered into place above your head, shielding you from the wind and rain. The world fell quiet, save for the sound of your breathing.
You dared a glance upward.
He hovered just above the ground now, slowly lowering himself to stand before you. The closer he came, the more you felt it; his power, his sorrow, his presence pressing against your skin like something tangible. You opened your mouth, but no sound came. Your fury had carried you here, but his silence stole the words you had prepared.
With trembling breath, you forced yourself to stand firm. You could feel droplets of water dripping from your hair, your wet clothes heavy on your body. The wind no longer reached you, and the weight in the air still crushed your chest.
âStop this storm,â you managed, voice rough. âPlease.â
Khaslanaâs golden eyes locked onto yours. There was no flicker of warmth in them, no spark of the god you once dreamed of meeting. His voice when he answered was low, almost cold.
âYouâre asking me? The god you hated?â He said,
The sound of his voice rooted you in place. It was the first time youâd heard it, and yet something about it was painfully familiar. A memory brushed the edge of your thoughts, but the coldness in his tone and the tension in your spine prevented you from figuring it out.Â
âOh for goodness sake,â you hissed, rolling your eyes as your chest heaving from anger, âYou never responded to my prayers! You never even looked at me! What was I supposed to think?â
Khaslanaâs eyes narrowed, the gold in them flaring like the sun. âI did respond,â He said, âYou just didnât notice.â
You blinked, caught off guard by his words. âWhatâŚ?â
âI sent you winds when the sun was too harsh. I made the guards fall asleep when you returned late from sneaking out of the temple. I changed the temple rules after your complaints. I sent you critters to accompany you in the gardens. I was there, every moment, watching. Protecting.â
Your breath caught in your throat. A thousand little things that never made sense now returned like puzzle pieces falling into place.
âBut you werenât present,â you said, frustrated. âThey said you stopped visiting after our wedding. You never came to see me. Never⌠touched me. Never spoke to me.â
âI did,â Khaslana said, quieter now. âJust⌠not in this form.â
And in a quiet, golden shimmer, his divine shape began to fade. The crackling marble softened into flesh. The halo dimmed. The claws became gentle fingers. The glowing eyes, still golden, now carried something moreâvulnerability.
Phainon stood before you.
You gasped, eyes widening as the realization hit you like thunder, no wonder his face and voice was familiar. âPhainon⌠You were Phainon this whole time?!â
He frowned, looking away.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â you asked, voice breaking. âWhy didnât you say anything?â
âWhen we first met,â Phainon murmured, âthere were too many people. I didnât plan to talk to you for long. Then... I panicked.â
âPanicked?â you repeated, hurt blooming in your chest like fire. âYouâre a god, and you panicked?â
âI did,â he answered, a note of defensiveness creeping into his voice. âAnd the longer I stayed quiet, the harder it became to fix it. You smiled at Phainon⌠but you said you hated Khaslana. How could I show you I was both?â
âThen why didnât you just visit meâlike youâre supposed to? As my husband?â
âBecause I was afraid!â he shouted as a sound of muffled thunder cracked from behind him.
âI was afraid,â he said, quieter now, almost desperate. âAfraid that if I touched you, Iâd break you. My true form⌠Itâs wrong. Itâs all jagged edges and burning weight. Iâm not like you. I remember what it was like to be human, but I donât understand those memories anymore. I donât understand those feelings.â
His voice broke slightly. âI didnât want to hurt you. So I kept my distance. I thought if I gave you the world, you wouldnât come looking for the god you were promised.â
Something snapped in you at those words. Your hands curled into fists, trembling. And then, before you even realized it, you struck him in the chest.
He didnât flinch. He didnât stop you.
You hit him again, your voice ragged with pain. âI never asked for the world! I asked for you!â
You hit him once more, sobs escaping you now in messy gasps. âI waited. Every day. I waited for you to come. To say something. Anything. And instead, you watched me from your sky like someâsome coward! I thought I was the problem. I thought I wasnât worthy of you.â
Your fists weakened, falling limply against his chest as your legs gave out. You collapsed against him, burying your face into his shoulder.
âI was so lonely,â you whispered, brokenly. âSo alone.â
Phainon didnât speak. He stood still, hands trembling slightly at his sides as you sobbed into his shoulder, your pain crashing into him like waves. Each crack in your voice struck something tender in him â deeper than any spear, sharper than any blade. And though he tried to stay composed, he couldnât stop the single tear that slipped from his cheek.
It fell onto your hair with a soft hiss, evaporating before it touched your skin.
Then another fell. And another.
You heard it, the faint sizzle of heat, and slowly, you pulled away to look at him.
His brow was furrowed, his mouth parted in a quiet breath, and his blue eyes were wet and aching. The tears continued to fall and vanish into vapor, but he didnât hide them. He let you see every drop of sorrow, every fracture of regret written into his face.
âForgive me,â he whispered, voice hoarse.Â
Unbeknownst to either of you, the storm outside the golden shield had eased. The sky was still bruised with clouds, but the wind had softened, and the thunder no longer roared.Â
You wiped your own tears away with a trembling hand, then reached for his face. With slow, deliberate care, you brushed the tears from his cheeks, fingertips cool and soft against the heat of his skin. The contact made him flinch, not from cold, but from the gentleness, the grace of being touched by you in kindness after everything.Â
You took a deep, shuddering breath and looked away for a moment. Then, voice raw but steady, you spoke.Â
âYou hurt me,â you started, âSo much that⌠there were nights I thought about leaving you.â
A bitter chuckle slipped from your lips, dry and hollow. When you looked back at him, you expected anger or indifference. But what met your gaze was something far more fragile.
His face was stricken. His eyes were wide, devastated, like a child who had just broken something precious and didnât know how to fix it. Your words had pierced him in a place not even divinity could shield.Â
âDo you want me to leave?â you asked, quieter now. âIf being married to me is just⌠a burden to carry, if Iâm something that makes you uncomfortable ââ
âNo!â Phainonâs voice rose sharply, full of panic, as he stepped forward and caught your arms, holding them firmly but not harshly. His grip trembled, as if afraid youâd vanish if he let go.Â
âIââ he faltered, eyes searching yours.Â
âI never asked for this marriage, no. But meeting you as Phainon⌠being with you that way â it changed everything.â
His voice the softened, almost trembling as he continued, âYou made me feel something I hadnât felt in centuries. You made me imagine a life where we werenât bound by pacts or divine duty. A life where we were just two strangers who met by chance and fell in love slowly without fear.â
Phainonâs smile flickered, touched with ache and hope. âYou made me feel human again.â
âSo no,â he said, firmer now. âI donât want you to leave. Not now. Not ever.â
You stared at him, stunned, then slowly your expression softened. A new tear slipped down your cheek â not from grief, but relief.
âI seeâŚâ You murmured.
Phainon quickly released you, noticing your flinch too late. âIâm sorry,â he said. âDid I hurt you again?â
You shook your head. âNo,â you whispered. âIâm⌠relieved.â
Above you, the sun began to pierce through the clouds, golden light filtering softly across the hill.
Phainon let out a shaky breath of relief. âThenâŚâ he began, voice tender, âcan we start over?â
You hesitated only for a moment before nodding. âLetâs start over. No need to rush.â
Then, with a faint smile and glistening eyes, you reached out your hand to himânot as a formality, but as an offering. Your fingers were cold, wrinkled from rain, yet steady.
He blinked, taken aback by the gesture. A handshake?Â
But the moment he took your hand, it no longer felt like just a handshake.
You gently curled your fingers around his and pulled his hand to your chest, just above your heartbeat. âIâm your wife,â you whispered, your voice warm and trembling. âItâs nice to finally meet you⌠truly.â
His eyes softened as he lowered his head, pressing a reverent kiss to your knuckles. His lips lingered there a moment longer than expected, like he was trying to memorize the feel of your skin, the texture of this promise, the shape of a new beginning.
When he looked up, he smiled.
âIâm Phainon,â he said gently.
You tilted your head. âNot Khaslana?âHe held your hand a little tighter, âKhaslana bears the weight of the world. But when Iâm with you⌠Iâm not holding the world. Iâm holding you.â

CHAPTER V
When he heard you sneeze on the hill, his expression shifted instantly to worry. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you firmly against his chest. In a blink, the storm vanished from your senses. There was no more wind, no more rain, only the sudden warmth of your chambers and the soft scent of cedar and rose oil clinging to the walls.
You blinked in surprise, barely catching your breath as he guided you gently toward the washroom.
âTake a hot bath, quickly,â he said, already unfastening your soaked cloak. âYouâll catch a fever like this. I need to take care of a few things firstâHyacinthiaâs going to have my wings for the skies I ruined.â
And with that, he vanished.
Just like that.
You stood there in silence for a long moment, the empty space where he had been already cold. The pain that flared in your chest was sharp, instinctiveânot as deep as before, but still a ghost of the hurt you'd carried for months. You pressed a hand to your heart.
No. You had made peace with him. You had seen his tears. His heart. You had both made a choice to begin again.
StillâŚ
You sneezed againâsharper this time.
You sighed, stripping off the damp layers clinging to your skin. Your fingers moved quickly as you turned on the hot water, steam already beginning to rise around the marble basin.
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
Phainon returned to your shared chambers not long after Parting Hour, the quiet hum of his powers still clinging to his presence. His expression was soft but worn, likely from appeasing Hyacinthia and announcing his return to the temple priests. You heard from the priestesses earlier that the temple had rejoiced, and the Archbishop was moved to tears when Phainonâs voice finally answered the ritual prayers.Â
Inside your room, the air was warm. You had just finished towelling off your damp hair, your night robe loose around your frame as you combed your fingers through the tangles. The sound of the door opening behind you made you turn slightly.
Phainon approached with a tentative smile. âSorry for making you wait,â he said as he made his coat vanish with a shrug of his shoulders, the materials disappearing into soft golden dust.
You arched a brow and gave him a small, teasing smile. âOnly half a year. Barely noticed,â you said with a playful roll of your eyes before turning toward the bed.
Phainon let out a breathless sigh, following behind you with a dramatic pout as you perched at the edge of the mattress. He sat beside you, close enough for your knees to brush.
After a short silence, he cleared his throat. âSoâŚâ he said as his eyes nervously flickered between you and the bed.Â
âWe donât have to rush anything, Phainon,â you said before he could get too tangled in his own nerves. âBesides, Iâm not spending the night with someone I barely know.â
His lips parted as if to protest, but you lifted a hand before he could. âAnd donât argue that I know you because of the times we spent together. I know Phainon, the human versionâthe friend. But you? As my husband?â You gave a soft shrug. âThatâs a whole different story.â
Phainon looked a little deflated at first, but then he smiled. It was a quiet, grateful kind of smile. âThat sounds fair. Getting to know each other properly⌠That sounds nice.â
And so you talked. For hours.
The two of you curled into the bed, at first upright against the pillows, then slowly sinking into the comfort of the covers as the conversation stretched into the night. You told him about your childhood. You spoke of your fears, your petty dislikes, and your odd preferences.
Phainon, for his part, opened up in ways you didnât expect. He told you about the earliest memories he had when he first became human, how he used to live in a place called Aedes Elysiae, which was surrounded by fields of wheat as far as the eye could see. He described his affinity for antiques and how he had a hobby of collecting them back then.Â
You laughed, cried a little, and at some point, you both lay facing each other under the shared blankets, your fingers tracing idle shapes against the fabric between you.
In the days that followed, life began to bloom around you again.
Phainon kept his promise. He was no longer just a god hiding behind the sky. He became a presence, warm and tangible. He walked with you through the temple gardens, sat beside you during meals, and occasionally dragged you just to lie in the sun.Â
He asked you questions often, about your dreams, your moods, your thoughts on every little thing. As if trying to memorize you in real time.
He formally met your parents again. This time, not as a stranger cloaked in mystery, but as your husband. You nervously explained everything to your family, how Phainon and Khaslana were the same person, and how things were different now. Your parents exchanged looks, and your brother seemed to be more excited, but overall, they were overjoyed to see you smiling again.
Your father did apologize for threatening to kill him once, though Phainon simply laughed and said, âI genuinely donât remember what you said. I was too busy panicking.â
There were still days when he was called to perform his duties as the Deliverer, but every night, without fail, he returned to you. Sometimes late, sometimes exhausted, but always with the same gentle smile and whispered âgood nightâ against your hair.
Tonight, he returned to you in his divine form.
Though he carried himself with his usual solemn dignity, there was no denying the weight on his shoulders. His movements were slower, the glow of his halo a little dimmer, and the golden lines within his fractured marble skin shimmered less brightly than usual.Â
Phainon rarely used this form in your presence, always quick to shift back to the human face you had grown familiar with. But when he moved to do just that, his hands already glowing with the telltale light of transformation, you stopped him with a hand on his arm.Â
âWait,â you said gently. âStay like this. I want to see you⌠Really see you.â
His glowing eyes flickered with hesitation, but after a long breath, he nodded and let the light fade. Then, without a word, he lowered himself onto the floor, sitting cross-legged so that he could be closer to your eye level. Even so, his form was enormous, vast in its presence.
You reached forward, both hands rising to cradle his face. You have to admit it took you effort to do so. The moment your fingers made contact, Phainon closed his eyes. His expression softened, almost like he was savoring the contact.
You marveled at the texture of his skin â it was pale gray like the statues in the public garden, but far warmer beneath your touch. Your fingers traced one of the fine, golden cracks that ran along his shoulders.
âDo the cracks hurt?â you asked.
Phainon opened his eyes halfway, a breath escaping him.
âNo,â he replied quietly, âThey donât.â
âAh, okay. Thatâs good.â You murmured. âThey kind of look like they did.â
Your touch wandered, now to his fingers. His claws were long, sharp, and metallic gold. You turned his palm upward and traced the ridges along it with your thumb. He watched you in silence until a soft chuckle broke free from his chest.Â
You looked up, narrowing your eyes at him. âWhat?â
His smile was small but sincere. âNothing. Itâs just⌠Itâs endearing â you asking if the cracks hurt.â
You huffed and looked back down at his claws. âIâm comparing you to a human body. If a human cracked like that, theyâd be in excruciating pain.â
He hummed in amusement, eyes glinting with affection. You let your touch travel again, to the base of his wings. They were breathtakingâwide, arching structures of gold and violet. From afar, they looked feathered, but up close, you saw the sharp, blade-like edges to them, each feather-like sliver layered with precision. They shifted slightly under your hand, fluid despite their rigidity.
He noticed you staring and shifted awkwardly, eyes flicking away for a moment.
âAm I⌠scary?â he asked, voice low, uncertain.
You smiled at him, fingers tucking a strand of glowing hair behind his ear.
âWhen you appeared to me during the storm? Absolutely.â You laughed softly. âBut now? You look absolutely divine.â
He stilled under your touch, eyes widening slightly as you leaned forward. With careful intent, you pressed a kiss just beneath his left eye.
Phainon froze.
He blinked as you pulled back, your cheeks warming as you began to mumble an apology. âSorryâI just couldnât help myseâwhoa!â
He tugged you gently forward, hand firm around your wrist. You gasped at the sudden closeness, your face just a breath away from his.
âDo it again,â he said. His voice was quiet, but filled with something desperate and hungry. His eyes searched yours, filled with longing and disbelief, like he didnât think he was worthy of what youâd just given him.
Your heart raced. Still blushing, you leaned forward again and placed another kiss on the other cheek.
âAgain,â he whispered, his grip steady.
So you did. You kissed his forehead. Then the bridge of his nose. Then the top of one of his ears. Each touch was soft, reverent. You moved slowly across his face, offering gentle affection like a balm over wounds unseen. As you kissed the curve of his jaw, you swore you heard his wings flutter.Â
You stopped just short of his lips, both of you breathless now. His eyes were locked onto yours, wide and filled with quiet pleading. Your gaze dropped to his mouth, then back to his eyes.
And with a quiet courage, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his.
It was quick. Soft. Awkward in the way all first kisses are. You pulled back, your cheeks burning, and your hands covered your face.
He chuckled.
You peeked between your fingers to see what he was doing, but before you could say anything, he moved forward, his voice brushing your ear like wind across a harp string.
âMy turn.â
In a blink, you felt the world around you shift.
You barely had time to gasp before you felt yourself being cradled by the familiar softness of your bed. The linens cushioned your fall as your back met with the mattress. And above you, Phainon â still in his divine form â hovered.
His immense body caged you gently, one hand braced beside your head, the other reaching up to brush your cheek with a touch so impossibly careful, it made your heart ache. His golden eyes were darkened by something deep and unreadable as they scanned your face, searching every inch like he was trying to memorize you all over again.Â
You swallowed, your breath catching when he tilted your chin up with his clawed finger, nudging your gaze to meet his, and then he leaned in and kissed you.Â
It was different now.
Even though he was careful, his lips dwarfed yours, overwhelming and unfamiliar in their shape and weight. You tried to match him, but it was clumsy, the angles imperfect. You shifted under him, trying to adjust, but it only made your nerves more jittery.
Phainon must have noticed. With a soft hum of understanding, he shifted course. His lips trail down the curve of your jaw, then to your neck, his breath warm against your skin. You gasped when you felt his mouth on the delicate spot just beneath your ear.Â
He kissed slowly, reverently. That is⌠until your reaction changed him.
Your gasp made him pause, then lean in again, this time with more intent. His lips pressed firmer, then parted. His tongue brushed your skin.
And then, he bites.
It wasnât harsh, but it sent a sharp jolt of pleasure through your body, so unexpected it drew another sound from you, softer this time. Phainon exhaled against your throat like heâd found something precious. And then he began again, mouth moving along your neck with a hunger that wasnât just physical; it was need, longing, the weight of months unspoken and untended.Â
But he was heavy. His divine body, though restrained, pressed down on you with weight you hadnât realized until now. Your arms trembled beneath him as his kisses grew more intense, and you could barely catch your breath between the sensations.
âP-PhainonâŚâ you managed, your voice small, but he didnât stop. He was lost in you, in the way you sounded, the way you felt under him. His mouth grazed lower, teeth brushing your collarbone.
âW-wait!â you finally gasped, louder this time, your hand pressing gently against his chest.
He froze immediately. He pulled back with a worried expression, his clawed fingers rising hesitantly as if afraid heâd broken you.
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked, voice quiet, eyes flicking between your face and the red marks blooming along your neck. âDid I hurt you?â
âNo, Itâsââ
âThen⌠do you not want toâŚ?â He asked again, voice careful.
âNo!â you said quickly, your cheeks burning as you turned your face away in embarrassment. âI just⌠I mean, itâs not that I donât want to⌠Itâs just â your sizeâŚâ
For a moment, he didnât understand. Then, realization dawned in his eyes. He blinked once, twice, and then looked down at himself, still in his celestial form.
âOh,â he murmured, âForgive me.â
In a pulse of golden light, his form shimmered and then shifted.
Where divinity once loomed, now sat Phainon. He was still radiant, still beautiful, but wholly human. He was shirtless, his skin glowing faintly from the residual of the transformation, the muscles of his chest rising and falling with each breath.Â
There was a flicker of nervousness in his blue eyes as he glanced at you.
âBetter?â he asked softly.
Your gaze had wandered without permission, drawn to the definition of his chest, the lines of his collarbone, the familiar face now so close. You met his eyes again, your breath catching in your throat, unable to hide the flush on your cheeks.
Phainon picked up where he had left off, his touches reverent, slow, as if trying to memorize every inch of you through the warmth of his hands. His fingers traced along your sides with care, learning the curve of your waist and the rise and fall of your breath.
He leaned in again, placing kisses along your collarbone before slipping the fabric of your nightgown off your shoulders.
You felt the cool air brush your skin, but it was his mouth that truly made you shiver. He pressed his lips to the swell of your chest, then just above your heart, each kiss more deliberate than the last. His mouth moved lower, a soft sigh leaving your lips when his tongue flicked across your bud teasingly.
Your fingers slid into his hair, gently tugging when he bit down with a soft pressure. Your breath hitched, a quiet moan slipping free, but you instinctively held back.
Phainon noticed.Â
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his expression pinched with confusion, and just the faintest trace of a pout on his lips. âWhy are you hiding your sounds from me?â he asked, voice low and tender.
You averted your gaze, cheeks flushed. âI just⌠I donât want to be too loud.â
His frown deepened. âWhy?â
You hesitated, then whispered, âWhat if someone hears?â
Phainonâs gaze softened at your words, though there was still a flicker of amusement behind it. He leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on your lips.
âThey wonât,â he said with a chuckle. âWeâre far enough from the temple for that. And even if someone didâŚâ He gave you a teasing look. âThis is my temple, isnât it? Shouldnât I be allowed to do as I please in my own domain?â
You opened your mouth to argue, but before you could, his hand had dipped lower, fingers skimming along the soft flesh of your center. The sudden sensation caught you off guard, and a moan escaped your lips, sharper than before and unrestrained.Â
Phainon paused, smiled against your cheek, and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.Â
âThere it is,â he murmured. âThatâs the sound I wanted to hear.â
He didnât stop. His movements now grew more assured, guided by every breathless sound that escaped your lips. Each time you gasped, his gaze flickered to your face, watching your expression. When your body would jolt, reacting to a particularly sensitive spot he had touched, Phainon would smile softly. A feeling of pride bloomed in his chest as if he had just uncovered a secret.
He leaned down to drown your voices in him, and slowly, he pushed his fingers in. His fingers moved with a paceâlong, steady, and unrelenting. Each touch sent a pulse of warmth coursing through you. One had gripped his arm, while the other found its way into his hair, fingers curling just enough force to draw a low breath from him. He leaned closer, welcoming the contact as though your need anchored him just as much as his touch unraveled you.Â
âP-PhainonâŚâ You whined, and he answered with a kiss to your forehead.
âHm? Does it feel good?â He asked, still pushing his fingers in at a slow pace.
You nod your head, âIâI need, mmh, moreâŚâ âMore? Are you sure?â Phainon asked as he adjusted his position, resting on his side while his other hand lay beneath you, hugging you closer.Â
âYes, p-pleaseâŚâ You managed to voice out.
Phainon let out a breath before inserting another finger in. Your body arched towards his chest, and a high-pitched, strangled moan escaped you.Â
âDoes it hurt?â He asked, planting kisses on your face.
âIâm okayâŚâ You huffed, âKeep going.. Just⌠go slowâŚâ You said.
âOkay,â he whispered, following your directions.Â
He moved his hands slowly and sensually, carefully checking your reactions to see any signs of discomfort. Then, after a few minutes, you nod your head.Â
âOkay⌠you can go a little faster.â
With that, Phainon picked up the pace of his fingers, curling them when he was deep enough. The rhythm of his fingers sent warmth blooming to your core, a rising tide sensation that left your breath stuttering.
You could no longer hold back the soft, broken sounds that spilled from your lips. Your fingers clenched tighter around his arm, nails digging into his skin in a desperate bid to stay grounded.
But Phainon didnât flinch. If anything, he leaned into your closeness, entranced by the way your face contorted with unguarded pleasure.Â
With Phainonâs quick fingers, your body finally gave in to the building tension. The knot inside you snapped with a wave of release, your breath catching, his name escaped your lips in a cracked whisper. He watched you ride your high, his gaze filled with wonder, as though your unraveling was the most sacred thing heâd ever witnessed.Â
As you came down, your lashes fluttered open. Phainon leaned in, peppering your cheeks with gentle kisses, his hair brushing your skin and drawing a quiet giggle from you.
âI take it you had a good time?â he asked, voice playful but laced with affection.
You rolled your eyes at him fondly and reached up to trace his cheek with your fingers. âI did⌠thanks to you,â you murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth.
Phainon moved to hover over you again, deepening the kiss with growing need. His hips moved slowly against yours, his breath growing heavier. You gasped as he pulled back slightly, eyes searching yours.
âDo you want to continue?â he asked, voice thick with restraint.
You nodded, more than ready, and pulled him close once more. Somewhere in the haze of kisses and wandering hands, you noticed him fumbling with his pantsâan amusing contrast to his usual effortless elegance. But before you could comment, his body pressed against yours in full, his form settling into yours with a heat that stole your breath.
He paused, eyes locked with yours. âAre you ready?â
âYes,â you whispered, heart pounding.
Phainon leaned in, resting his forehead to yours, breathing with you, grounding both of you. He finally pushed his hips forward slowly and measured. You held onto him tightly, overwhelmed by the stretch. Phainon let out quiet sighs against your neck, he pulled out before pushing back into you.
Your tightness around him was heavenly, and heâd been to heaven before.Â
As he rocked his hips into yours, youâd open your eyes to look at him. Small flickers of golden light danced around the corner of your vision. Every now and then, his divine form would slip through â his eyes would shift from sky blue to golden ones, even as far as only turning golden in one eye.
Soft golden flames would appear on his shoulder every time he reached a certain spot inside you, his hair would pulse from his usual white ones to his blonde ones. His voice, once deep and steady, faltered into quiet groans and murmurs of your name. Praising you, telling you how good he felt.
You kissed him again, anchoring him to you. âI love you, Phainon.â
His breath caught, but his hips still moved. When your eyes met, there was nothing hidden in his gaze. Just awe.Â
âI love you too,â he whispered, voice almost breaking.Â
With another kiss, he quickened his pace to chase your highs. The world around you blurring into quiet gasps and muffled moans, until nothing remained but warmth, closeness, and the stars flickering in his eyes.Â
¡ ¡ â ¡âśÂˇ â ¡ ¡
It was unusual to wake up to Phainon still beside you.Â
His body was warm against yours, his arms resting loosely around your waist in a quiet embrace. Before this, you would open your eyes to find him already sitting at the edge of the bed or by your desk, greeting you with a quiet âgood morning,â already dressed.
But not this morning.
This morning, the golden sunlight filtered softly through the curtains, touching his bare skin like a blessing. The light kissed the curve of his shoulder, the gentle line of his jaw, illuminating the peaceful rise and fall of his chest. You took in the sight carefully, as if afraid that moving too quickly would ruin this rare moment.
You turned on your side to face him, your body still aching from last night. You gaze across the angles of his face. His lashes were long, shadowing his cheeks with each breath, and you caught yourself smiling, well, perhaps a little jealous of how effortlessly beautiful he was.
Your fingers reached up, slow and gentle, to tuck a stray lock of hair behind his ear. The softness of his hair against your skin made something tighten in your chest. It was the feeling of the weight of everything it took to reach this moment. The silence, the missteps, the months of loneliness, of sleeping on this very bed with nothing but questions in your heart.
And now, here he was. Real and warm. Sleeping beside you like he belonged there all along.
His brows twitched slightly, and then, with a small breath, his eyes fluttered open.
Those familiar blue eyes looked at you now with a different softness. They locked onto yours, and he didnât say anything at first, as if trying to convince himself this wasnât a dream.
From where he lay, the morning light behind you framed you like a painting. Your hair was still tousled from sleep, your eyes a little puffy, the wrinkles of your smile faint. To him, there was no sight more divine than this. Nothing could rival the simple beauty of waking up to you.
âGood morning,â you whispered, your voice soft.
âGood morning,â he replied, his voice still hoarse with sleep but still laced with the same tenderness he had shared with you last night.
You reached for his hand beneath the covers, and he met you halfway as he curled his fingers around yours without hesitation.Â
The silence stretched between you, but this time, it was warm. It was the sound of reconciliation, of finally being seen.Â
You rested your forehead against his and closed your eyes. You know there are still roads youâll need to go through in the future. There would still be moments of misunderstanding, of learning how to love each other more. But now, you werenât afraid of the road ahead.
You had found him, and he had stayed.
For now, that was enough.

Šsalmonmakiii, do not steal my work or feed it to AI.
#Honkai: Star Rail#HSR#HSR Phainon#Phainon#Phainon x reader#Phainon x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#Phainon fluff#Phainon smut#Amphoreus#Makii's Pen
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The Education Of James Buchanan Barnes

pairing | post!tfatws!bucky x fem!reader
word count | 4.2k words
summary | after a hot date night, you decide itâs time to introduce bucky to the world of sex toys. but as he watches you come undone under a vibrator and dildo, curiosity quickly gives way to jealousyâand before you know it, the lesson turns into a possessive, desperate claim with his cock buried deep inside you where, as he puts it, you belong.
tags | (18+) MDNI, unprotected sex, p in v, sex toys, vibrator use, dildo use, edging, orgasm denial, reader gets absolutely railed, jealous!bucky, possessive!bucky, rough sex, desperate sex, âThat Should Be Meâ energy, mutual orgasms, praise kink, clingy post-sex bucky
a/n | based on thissss request. said I'd post on tues and here it is. enjoy, you little freaks <3 you don't need to read the previous chapters to read this one
taglist | if you wanna be added to my bucky barnes masterlist just add your username to my taglist
likes comments and reblogs are much appreciated â¨â¨
á´á´Ęá´ á´É´á´ - á´á´Ęá´ á´á´Ąá´ - á´á´sá´á´ĘĘÉŞsá´
divider by @cafekitsune
The door slammed shut behind you, a little louder than it needed to, the echo sharp against the dim hallway light of your apartment.
Your laughter was still spilling out into the room, low and breathless, caught halfway between amusement and anticipation.
You barely got two steps in before Bucky was on you.
His hands found your waist firstâfingers slipping beneath the hem of your jacket like he needed skin contact nowâand his lips were on your neck, pressing warm, open-mouthed kisses against the sensitive curve just below your ear.
You let out a soft gasp, the sound immediately turning into a laugh as you stumbled backward into the wall, your shoulder hitting it with a dull thud.
âJesus, Barnes,â you teased, tilting your head to give him better access, your hands coming up to tangle in his hair. âAt least let me take off my shoes before you start undressing me.â
He didnât answer. Not with words.
His mouth trailed lower, teeth grazing along your throat as his hands slid down, over the curve of your ass, gripping like he already forgot how to be patient.
You could still taste the wine on his breathârich, red, something expensive you pretended to know about during dinner. Heâd been charming, quietly smug, his hand on your knee beneath the table the entire time. But now, that cool confidence had turned into something hotter, something needier.
âCouldnât stop looking at you all night,â he murmured into your skin. âEvery time you smiled at me like that, I wanted to take you home andââ
You cut him off with a slow, satisfied hum. âAnd what?â
He groaned. âDonât make me say it.â
You leaned forward, lips brushing the shell of his ear. âYouâve already got your hands on my ass, Barnes. The hard partâs over.â
He laughedâsoft and lowâbut it came out like a growl against your neck.
You pulled back slightly to look at him. His pupils were blown, his cheeks flushed, hair slightly messy from your fingers. He looked like someone undone by wantâand he hadnât even touched you properly yet.
You gave him that smileâthat one. The cheeky, up-to-something smirk that always made his brows furrow and his jaw tighten.
The one that meant you were about to make him feel something he wasnât prepared for.
âDown, Sergeant,â you said sweetly, placing your palms flat on his chest and gently easing him back.
He groanedâmore out of protest than painâhis grip tightening on your hips as he let you push him away, but just barely. His fingers didnât leave you, still clutching your waist like he wasnât sure if this was a tease or the start of something serious.
âWhere are you taking me?â he asked, suspicious, eyes narrowing as you started to backpedal toward the bedroom.
You shrugged, still grinning. âNowhere dangerous.â
âSee, itâs the smile that says otherwise.â
You took a few more steps back, tugging him with you by the belt loops. He followed, slow but curious, letting you lead him through the doorway. His fingers skimmed under your dress again, thumbs brushing skin like he was trying to anchor himself.
You stopped at the edge of your bed, then stepped aside, letting him take in the view behind you.
Thatâs when he saw it.
His eyes widened slightly. You caught the flash of confusion as he looked down at your mattressâlined neatly with a few very intentional things: a sleek vibrator, a wand, a slim, curved dildo, a bottle of lube, and your favorite black satin restraints.
He stared for a second.
Blinking.
Then blinked again.
âWhatâŚâ he started, voice lower now. Rough. âWhat is all this?â
You leaned in close, lips brushing the shell of his ear.
âA surprise.â
He turned to look at you, brow raised. âIs this a setup?â
You smirked. âHave you met me?â
Bucky stood still, eyes sweeping over the bed againâover the glossy black wand, the lube glinting under the soft light, the silicone toy shaped far too perfectly for your body.
Then he looked at you, expression stuck between scandalized and turned on.
âDid you rob a sex store?â
You rolled your eyes, stepping closer to him. âYouâre being dramatic.â
âI mean, thatâs a lot of equipment.â
âItâs two toys, a bottle of lube, and a wand, Barnes. Not an armory.â
He didnât move when you tugged him forward by the waistband of his jeans, but his jaw flexedâvery slightlyâas his knees bumped the edge of the bed.
You raised a brow, smirking. âWhat? Donât tell me you didnât see toys when you were on your little porn discovery mission.â
He coughed, averting his eyes for a split second. âYeah, wellâmaybe. But Iâm more of a, yâknow⌠hands-on kind of guy.â
You leaned in, lips brushing his ear as your hands slid up under his shirt. âOld fashioned, huh?â
His fingers twitched against your hips again, not quite meeting your teasing with a response.
You pulled back just far enough to meet his eyes, grinning.
âFunny. That 69 we did with your hands tied says very otherwise.â
His breath hitched. You werenât wrong.
And from the way his cock was already hardening beneath his jeans, he knew it too.
You rose onto your toes, hands sliding up his chest, nails dragging lightly through the fabric of his shirt. He was still tenseânot resistant, but processing. Curious. Hesitant. Turned on out of his goddamn mind.
So you leaned in slowly, brushing your lips against his.
Just a light kiss. Then another.
And another.
Tiny pecks that softened him, unraveled that edge of caution from his shoulders.
âYou can still be hands-on,â you murmured between kisses. âJust⌠with toys in your hands.â
Another kiss, slow and lingering this time. You felt him exhale through his nose, felt his lips finally part and press back into yours.
You smiled against his mouth, coaxing.
âYou donât even have to do anything complicated. JustâŚâ You let your fingers trail down his arms, tugging his hands to your waist. âUse them. Use me. Learn what works.â
He groaned, barely audible, as his hands settled firmly on your hips againâlike just the permission alone was undoing him.
You pulled back, just a breath away.
âCâmon, Sarge. Letâs see what those old-fashioned hands can do with some new tools.â
His jaw clenched again.
You stepped back from him slowly, feeling the heat of his hands lingering on your hips as your fingers curled around the hem of your dress.
Buckyâs eyes followed every movementâglued to your hands, to the slow shift of fabric, to the smug little grin on your lips that told him you knew exactly what you were doing.
And then?
You pulled.
The dress slipped over your hips and down your thighs in one fluid motion, pooling around your ankles like water.
Buckyâs breath caught.
You stood there, spine straight, head tilted just slightly to the side, watching his reaction as your body was revealedâdeliberately chosen lingerie in inky black lace, sheer in all the right places, hugging every curve.
The bra pushed your breasts up just enough to tease, the fabric a whisper against your skin, while the panties sat low on your hips, lacy edges framing your stomach and dipping between your legs like an invitation.
The sheer mesh left little to the imagination.
Your stomach was bare.
Your thighs.
The delicate rise of your hips.
It was⌠artful, really.
And you knew it.
âYou wore that to dinner?â Bucky asked, voice low and wrecked already.
You grinned. âTechnically, I wore it for dessert.â
His eyes dragged over you, slow and reverent and hungry.
And then you stepped back again, toward the bed.
âPick one,â you said, nodding toward the toys. âWhichever you want. Try it on me.â
He didnât move right away. Just looked at you.
Like you were the most dangerous, beautiful thing heâd ever seen.
And the most willing.
You climbed onto the bed with slow, fluid confidence, the mattress dipping under your knees as you crawled back into position. Leaning on your elbows, you propped yourself up, legs spreading easily, openly, like it was second nature to put your body on display for him.
And maybe it was. For him, it always had been.
Bucky followed like a man in a trance.
His eyes roamed over youâdown your torso, between your thighs, lingering at the edge of the lace still clinging to your hips. He was silent, almost hesitant. Until his gaze flicked toward the toys spread across the sheets.
You watched as he reached out and picked up the vibrator.
The sleek little device looked almost comical in his broad, calloused handâlightweight, pastel-colored, clearly not made with 1940s masculinity in mind.
He turned it over slowly, brow furrowing, mouth slightly parted like he was reading a tactical blueprint.
âThere are settings,â you murmured, voice soft and teasing. âLow, medium, high.â
He looked at you, and something about the way his mouth twitched made you narrow your eyes.
âStart on low, Bucky.â
He didnât answer. Just clicked it on.
The low hum vibrated between his fingers.
And then?
He clicked it again.
High.
Before you could stop him, he pressed the tip of the vibrator directly onto your clitâstill covered by your lace panties.
The jolt that tore through your body was instant and violent.
Your back arched, a yelp escaped your throat, and your leg snapped out so fast you nearly kicked him in the face.
âJesusâBUCKY!â
He dodged your foot, arms up in surrender, laughing as he dropped the toy onto the sheets.
âWhat? You said there were settings, I was justâtesting.â
You shoved at his shoulder, breathless, glaring as you tried to catch your breath.
âYou tested high?! Right on my clit?! What the hell kind of logicââ
âI didnât think itâd be that strong.â
You gave him a look that couldâve curdled milk, still panting, your thighs trembling slightly from the aftershock.
He was still laughing.
And blushing.
âYouâre gonna kill me,â you muttered, reaching down to adjust your panties like your clit hadnât just been sniped by Stark-level technology.
He raised his hands. âOkay, okay. Letâs try that again. Gently this time.â
You laid back again, eyeing him warily.
âTry it again,â you said. âAnd if you blast me like that a second time, Iâm switching to the dildo and you can just sit there and watch.â
His grin vanished.
âYes, maâam.â
Once your breathing evened outâonce your pulse stopped thundering in your earsâyou gave him a small, warning nod. Not exactly forgiving him yet, but willing to let him try again.
Bucky reached for the vibrator, a little more cautious now.
âLow,â you said again, firmly.
He smirked but obeyed, clicking it on to the lowest setting. The hum was soft this time, barely more than a buzz, and you could already see the change in himâhis shoulders relaxed, his gaze sharpened. He wasnât playing anymore.
He moved closer, crawling between your spread thighs, settling onto his elbows like he was preparing for something delicate. His metal hand slid over your thigh, holding you open with care as he brought the toy down, brushing it gentlyâso gentlyâagainst the lace over your clit.
You inhaled sharply. A good sharp.
His eyes flicked up, watching your face.
âHowâs that feel?â he asked, voice low and steady.
You let your eyes close, lips parting on a slow, breathy exhale. Your body relaxed this time, no violent kicksâjust heat curling low in your belly, spreading like fire.
âNice,â you murmured, a small smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. âThatâs⌠really nice.â
He made a quiet, pleased sound.
Then did it again.
Slower this time, moving the toy in gentle circles over the fabric. Not rushing, not pushing. Just watchingâthe rise and fall of your breath, the subtle twitch of your thighs, the way your fingers curled in the sheets when he hit just the right angle.
Your hips arched, just slightly, chasing the motion.
He smiled. Almost smug. But underneath itâsomething tender, too.
Like he couldnât believe he was the one doing this to you.
Making you feel like this.
Your breath hitched as he moved lower, eyes flicking to your panties.
âLet me see you,â he murmured.
His fingers hooked the edge of the lace and drew it aside with careâso slowly, like he was unwrapping something sacred. His gaze dropped to your bare, glistening core, and the little sound he made in his throatâhalf growl, half groanâsent a fresh rush of heat through you.
âFuck,â he whispered. âYouâre so wet already.â
You smirked, lazy and indulgent. âWell, you did almost blow my clit off.â
He shot you a look, one brow raised, mouth twitching with that cocky little smirk you were quickly learning to associate with danger.
âYeah,â he said. âAbout thatâŚâ
He brought the toy back downâstill on lowâand touched it directly to your clit.
Your whole body jolted.
But this time, there was no kicking. Just a soft gasp, your hips lifting off the bed, thighs twitching as pleasure rippled through you like heat lightning.
He moved it in tight, slow circles.
You whimpered.
He leaned in close, voice low and full of intent.
âYou remember edging me?â he asked.
Your eyes blinked open, hazy with heat. ââŚBuckyââ
He clicked the toy off.
You whined.
Your hips bucked, searching for friction, desperate and denied.
His grin widened.
âYeah,â he said, almost to himself. âThatâs exactly what it felt like.â
You reached for himâmaybe to swat him, maybe to drag him down onto youâbut he dodged easily, clicking the toy back on and touching it just to the side of your clit this time, not giving you the full pressure you craved.
You moaned, head falling back onto the sheets.
He was toying with you.
Teasing, circling, pulling you to the brink and pulling back just before it broke.
âFeel that?â he asked softly. âHow close you are?â
You nodded frantically, thighs trembling.
He lifted the toy away again.
Your whole body arched, a strangled noise escaping your throat.
âGood,â he said, smug and composed and ruthless. âNow letâs do that a few more times.â
He edged you once.
Then again.
And again.
Each time pulling the toy away just as your body reached that shattering precipice, just as your thighs began to shake and your moans turned to pleas. Your voice cracked somewhere between curses and whimpersârage and lust and raw need colliding in your chest.
âFuckingâBucky! I swear to Godââ
He pressed a kiss to your inner thigh, smile far too calm for someone committing such heinous crimes against your orgasm.
âYouâre doing great,â he said, maddeningly sweet. âAlmost as pretty as when you edged me.â
âBucky, I will end you.â
âOh, I know,â he said, clicking the toy off again. âBut firstââ
You whined. Actually whined. Fisting the sheets as your entire body trembled with pent-up release.
Then you saw him reach for the next item on the bed.
The dildo.
Smooth, curved, a little thicker than averageâhis choice.
He looked at it, looked at you.
Then leaned forward again, eyes gleaming. âCan I try this?â
You couldnât even speak.
Just nodded, gasping, your whole body tight and twitching with denial.
He ran the toy through your folds first, slicking it with your arousal. Then, slowly, he pressed it inâinch by inchâwatching your body stretch around it, his lips parted, his breath caught in his throat.
The groan that left you was wrecked.
He pulled it back.
Then slid it in again.
And again.
His strokes were smooth, unhurried, his gaze fixed where your body took it, sucking it in with every glide.
You felt his focusâtoo much of it.
âStop looking at my cunt like a science experiment,â you muttered, voice wrecked and trembling.
He didnât even blink. âYouâre fascinating.â
You let out something between a sob and a laugh, hips canting up, thighs trembling as he thrust the toy deeper, angling just right and watching as your mouth dropped open in a silent moan.
âGod, youâre so fucking wet,â he whispered, almost to himself.
And you? You were seconds from detonating.
Buckyâs focus sharpened to a pointâyou, spread out and glistening, shaking under his touch as the toy slid in and out of you with steady, unrelenting rhythm.
His hand never faltered, wrist rotating just enough to give the dildo that subtle curve each time it pushed deep, brushing against the spot that made your back arch off the mattress.
His other hand was braced on your thigh, holding it open, thumb stroking gently as your moans got louder, less controlled.
He was breathing harder now, jaw tense, the veins in his forearm visible as he picked up the pace.
Not just fasterâdeeper.
And every time he drove it in, you let out a sound that made his own hips twitch, his cock straining against the fabric of his jeans.
You were writhing, hands tangled in the sheets, eyes barely able to stay open as you looked down your body at himâwatching him watch you.
âOh my god,â you gasped, head dropping back as the pleasure built and built again. âBuckyâfuckââ
He bit his lip.
His strokes grew faster, rougher, the wet sounds obscene in the quiet room, your arousal coating the toy, your thighs trembling as your moans rose in pitch.
âYou hear yourself?â he rasped, voice dark now, tight. âSo fucking loud. So good.â
Your hands clawed at the sheets, your mouth falling open in a gasp as the toy slid in hard, again and again, your body so close to the edge you could taste it.
And stillâhe didnât stop.
âSay my name,â he said, fucking you harder now, jaw clenched as he watched your hips lift to meet every thrust. âSay it.â
âBuckyâpleaseââ
His rhythm stuttered for a second.
Then he leaned in closer, eyes burning.
The sounds coming from between your legs were obsceneâslick, wet, relentless. The dildo slid in and out of you, faster now, your thighs twitching with every thrust, your moans ragged, needy, broken.
And Bucky? Bucky was watching.
Watching you come apart, shaking on the edge, and all he could think about was how it wasnât him.
His jaw clenched as his hand moved, wrist flicking with practiced rhythm now, and still it wasnât enough. Not for him.
He stared at where the toy disappeared into your body, at how easily you took it, at how you moaned his nameâand something just⌠snapped.
The moment you let out a wrecked little gasp, your legs clamping around nothing as your orgasm finally hitâyour whole body clenching around that silicone?
He yanked it out of you, fast.
You whimpered, high and startled, your hips chasing after it instinctively. âBuckyâwhat the fuckââ
But he was already tossing it across the room like it had personally offended him.
âThat should be me,â he growled, low and tight. âThat should be my cock inside you.â
Before you could say anything else, he was on youâmouth crushing yours, fingers dragging your panties down your thighs, then ripping them the rest of the way off with one impatient pull.
âHeyâ!â you yelped against his lips. âThat was new!â
âDonât care,â he muttered, his voice gravel and heat. âI couldnât fucking stand it. Watching you fall apart like thatâon thatââ
You were still gasping when he shoved his jeans down just enough, cock springing free, thick and flushed and angry, and thenâ
He thrust into you in one long, rough slide.
You cried out, your head falling back, the stretch sudden and perfect.
âFucking hell, Buckyââ
He groaned, forehead pressing to yours, voice breaking.
âBetter,â he breathed. âSo much fucking better.â
Your nails dug into his shoulders, your laugh half-moan, half-disbelief as he started to move.
âYouâre ridiculous,â you panted.
He thrust deeper, harder.
âYouâre mine.â
You didnât argue.
Because fuck, it felt right.
Bucky didnât hold back.
His thrusts were deep, fast, franticâhis cock slamming into you like it was the only thing grounding him to reality. Every drive of his hips sent you upward on the bed, your hands scrabbling for purchase, your thighs locked tight around his waist as he rutted into you like a man starved.
You were both sweat-slicked and gasping, your mouths clashing in messy kisses between moans and curses, teeth grazing lips, breath mingling.
His hands gripped your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer, angling you just rightâand fuck, he knew what he was doing. He angled every thrust to drag against that spot that made your vision blur, made your nails dig into his back, made your cries rise to screams.
âMine,â he snarled, over and over, like a mantra. âYouâre mine.â
âYours,â you gasped back, helpless under the weight of him, your whole body coiled tight, heat building fast again after the cruel cycle of edging. âFuck, Buckyâdonât stopâpleaseââ
He groaned against your neck, his voice almost breaking from how good it felt, from how tightly you squeezed around him, from the way your body arched into him like you couldnât get close enough.
You werenât just taking it.
You were meeting himârocking your hips up into every thrust, nails dragging down his back, your voice a breathless chant of his name.
You whined, the sound pure filth, your orgasm charging through you like lightning, your body clamping down around him as your eyes rolled back.
Your whole body was already a live wireâtrembling, hypersensitive, soaked from everything heâd done to you. So when he finally drove into you with that punishing, possessive rhythm, it didnât take long.
Not after being edged so many times you forgot what release felt like.
His cock filled you perfectly, every brutal thrust driving you closer to the edge youâd been denied again and again.
Then he said it.
âGonna fill you up,â he growled into your skin, teeth grazing your jaw. âSo deepâfuckâwanna keep you like this. Full of me.â
The growl in his voice. The strain. The desperation.
And that was what did it.
You came hardâviolentlyâyour orgasm tearing through you like your body had been waiting for permission to shatter.
You screamed his name, your back arched off the mattress, thighs locked around him as your walls clenched down on his cock in rhythmic waves, dragging him deeper, holding him there.
Bucky groaned, choked on the sound, hips stuttering as he tried to keep fucking you through itâbut your body was relentless, milking him, coaxing him to the brink with you.
And then he lost it.
He slammed in one last time, cock twitching deep as he came with a raw, broken sound, burying his face in your neck like he could hide from how wrecked he felt.
His cum flooded youâhot, thick, and so much, mixing with yours, seeping down your thighs as you both stayed locked together, trembling, undone.
You were shaking under him, breathless, mind blank.
And stillâhe didnât move.
Just held you.
Because he couldnât let go. Because he didnât want to.
Your breaths tangled into each otherâharsh, broken, shared between barely-parted mouths.
You couldnât tell where you ended and he began.
Bucky was still inside you, still buried to the hilt, his chest pressed to yours, his forehead against your temple as the sweat cooled on both your bodies. The only sounds were the deep, ragged inhales, the soft exhales, the occasional, stunned fuck whispered against your skin.
Neither of you spoke.
There was nothing to sayânot yet.
Just the feeling of himâwarm, solid, trembling slightly as he held you like if he let go, the world might pull you away.
Your fingers curled into the damp strands at the back of his neck. His hand slid down your thigh, possessive even now, thumb stroking the inside like he still needed to touch you everywhere.
You breathed into his mouth.
He breathed into yours.
And it was perfect.
But then, slowly, your body relaxed.
And your hand drifted from his hair to his shoulder, giving him a light shoveânot really pushing, more like reminding.
He groaned, still reluctant to move.
You gave him another nudge. âYou owe me new lingerie.â
His head lifted slightly, enough for you to see the lazy smile that spread across his flushed, post-orgasm face.
âAs long as I get to pick it out too,â he murmured.
You snorted. âIf you pick something crotchless, Iâm setting you on fire.â
His grin widened.
âYou really are the most dangerous woman alive,â he muttered against your lips.
Just when you thought he might finally pull out, Bucky shiftedâ
Not away.
But closer.
Suddenly, you were bombarded.
Soft kisses.
All over your face.
Your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your lipsâsmothering, insistent, rapid-fire pecks between breathless murmurs, like he couldnât kiss you fast enough to keep up with what he was feeling.
âBeautifulââ
Kiss.
âMy girlââ
Kiss.
âSo perfectâmineâmineââ
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
You burst out laughing, squirming under him as he grinned like an idiot and kept going, hands bracketing your head like he had no plans of letting you escape.
âBuckyâstopâget the fuck out of my faceâ!â
Your voice was sharp but your smile was wide, cheeks flushed, eyes bright, lit from the inside.
He didnât stop.
âNever,â he whispered against your cheek. âYouâre mine. Iâm keeping you forever.â
You rolled your eyes, laughing breathlessly as your arms curled around his back, pulling him in anyway.
âGod, youâre such a menace.â
He just kissed your nose again.
âYeah,â he murmured. âBut Iâm your menace.â
And honestly? You wouldnât have it any other way.
Bucky Barnes Taglist:
@princeescalus @s-sh-ne @winchestert101 @n3ptoonz @jeongiegram @thealloveru2 @avgdestitute @lilac13 @fayeatheart @Leathynn @solana-jpeg @person-005 @muchwita @ruexj283 @jarnesbames108 @iheartfictionalmen1 @daddyslilbrat962 @bucky-baby-barnes @bonnietate26 @1lorenzo-lover1 @heymydearheart @peanutbutt3rcup @doilooklikeagiveafrack @loganficsonly @taylorann2013
those who couldn't be tagged are in bold :(
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#james buchanan barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes smut
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i had about 2 chapters of a BB fic written in past tense when i spend 99% of the time in present tense and i spent those chapters confused about whatever the hell past tense i was supposed to use. because is this part simple past? past perfect? whatever the english equivalent of imparfait is, idk, i only know english grammar through french grammar
You should only write in present tense with extreme caution.
not because it's bad or anything but because if you do it even once you're going to be editing the bits where you shifted tenses out of your writing for the rest of your life
#my justification for why my wol switched between talking in past & present tense aloud is because PEOPLE do that#i learned french before taking like an english grammar class#or i'd'nt taken once since elementary school#but anyways now i don't know what the english words for grammatical structures are i just know the french ones#if anyone wants to explain what the pluperfect is in french terms that'd be great
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â ENHYPEN & what theyâre into !



⸠18+ mdni.
| pairing. bfs!enhypen x fem!reader
| warnings. daddy kink, allusions to sub/dom dynamics, rough sex (nothing intense but still), squirting, idk very cute stuff overall ngl lol.
| a.n.: in my normie era pls i love it. let me know if i should do more <3 (i probably will anyway)
HEESEUNG â dry humping
having you close to him, still in your clothes, desperately humping each other turns him on to another level. he loves the friction it creates, especially how your clothed pussy rubs over his hard cock back and forth. the extra layers of clothes might be a bother to other people, but to heeseung, it's what makes everything ten times better. it makes you needier, so eager to reach your high and he's happy to help you, grinding his bulge harder against your cunt until you cum. you're always so frail in his arms after, shaking like a leaf, holding tight onto him. then comes his favourite part where he looks at the state of your panties, all soaked in your wetness, pulling them down your legs and revealing your sticky folds that he doesn't wait to push himself in between.
JAY â fingering
if there's one thing that jay loves more than making you cum around his cock, it's making you cum on his fingers. he has you in his lap, legs spread open for him, freely moaning into his ear to go harder, faster, and to please, let you cum. he doesn't let it happen until he's certain you're completely ruined, drunk on his fingers thrusting inside of you and repeatedly hitting your sweet spot. "were you a good girl to daddy, today?" he asks, wanting you to comply to all of his demands, to say yes just because you need to cum so badly. you dumbly nod your head, promise jay that, yes, you were good to him today and he makes sure to reward you, letting you cum around his fingers while he kisses down your neck.
JAKE â hair pulling
it goes both ways; you gripping his locks tightly as he eats you out or him holding your hair as he pounds into you from behind. he thrills on the feeling of your fingers pulling on his hair when the pleasure is too much. you have to grip something, anything, and the first thing you reach is his head of black hair. he always hisses through his teeth when you accidentally pull a little too roughly, but he doesn't mind it at all, he loves it. it's the same thing when he has his cock into you, his hips slamming into your ass, having a fistful of your hair and shoving your head into the pillow to muffle down your moans or bring you in for a messy kiss.
SUNGHOON â anal
he's really obsessed with anal since always. if his porn search history isn't enough to tell, sleeping with him is. the first time he's with you, he's already talking about it; "what do you think about it?", "would you like to try?", "is it something you think you could enjoy?", and because you're as perverted as your boyfriend, of course you like it. he knows it's a process, but he's willing to do all that it takes to finally be able to fuck your ass. it doesn't stop there, thoughâsunghoon wants to eat your ass, too. there's just something about your moans, how melodic they sound, and your legs thrown over his shoulders, licking your rim while he circles your clit with his thumb. or the sight of your ass dripping from his cum, your poor cunt neglected as it clenches at the pace of your heartbeat. saying he's obsessed is an understatementâhe's in love with it.
SUNOO â head
oral sex is simply sunoo's thingâyou could even say he's an expert at it. making you feel good with his tongue is what he loves the most, really. there's nothing better than the sweet taste of your pussy in his mouth, licking and sucking like he would when kissing you. he doesn't use his fingers a lot, he prefers to make you cum solely with his mouth, but when he does, it always ends in a big, big mess. so that's why when he brings out a towel and places it underneath you, you know you're in for something intense. he loves to make you feel good, almost euphoric, because you praise him so much and you're so grateful to him after. sunoo's surely not against receiving eitherâafter all the love he gives to your pussy, it's only fair you do the same for him.
JUNGWON â hickeys
he's a biter, and what's his favourite thing to bite? you. you always feel so soft against him, so small and perfect, he just has to bite you and leave his mark behind. your thighs, your breasts, your neck, your arms... he needs to suck on every patch of skin he sees on you. you're his girlfriend and he loves youâit's his way of cherishing you. but as much as he likes to mark you in love bites, he literally melts under your touch. jungwon's so whiny when you kiss him down his neck, so needy as your kisses turn into bites. they're sweet and soft like you, it tickles, and you're so cute trying to leave hickeys on him. he always pushes your hips down when you're straddling him, making you feel his hard cock through his clothes, tilting his head to the side to expose more of his neck to you.
NIKI â making-out
it may sound boring or simple, but to niki, making-out is the total opposite of that... it's hot, wet, desperate and his favourite thing ever to do with you. he loves foreplay before anything, he could honestly only do that instead of sex and he'd be just as satisfied. you get so grabby when you're kissing; your fingers passing through his long hair or clenching around his t-shirt. niki gets as equally touchy, if not more. he's bold enough to sneak his hands under your top, even into your pants. you don't mind itâon the contrary, you like it so much. when his fingers ghost over your clothed pussy, you inevitably whine into his mouth, pressing your body closer to his if it's even possible at this point. niki loves to feel the heat of your cunt against him, and it's even better when he has his tongue in your mouth, his teeth biting your lips. he wants to be in charge, be the dominant one and guide you, but he quickly loses track of his thoughts once you start grinding your hips against his.
â-
a.n.: i still don't write for sunoo but i wanted to include him in this anyway <3 pls let me know what you think about these, should i make more for other groups?? again, i'd appreciate it so much if you could reblog/comment or send an ask, wtv you're the most comfortable with. it might seem short but it really took me a lot of time to write lol!! ty <33
#â â starring enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen imagines#enha x reader#enha smut#heeseung smut#jay smut#jake smut#sunghoon smut#sunoo smut#jungwon smut#niki smut
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