#what if we were narrative foils and intellectually attracted to each other :blushes:

[zimtdraws]

love me a courtroom romance ✨✨✨

[faemen]

ace attorney??? more like really fucking gay attornies who are SO THICKHEADED i am going to kill them

why couldnt this just be a fandom thing like i thought it was before i played. why cant they just make these canon. why must we suffer so

i dont even want them to be canon cuz yknow normal reasons, i just want the fu kdingnf PINING TO STOP cuz its SO MUCH WORSE EVERY TIME

wrightworth? killed me. not bc of their cuteness or normal ship reasons, nooo instead you change your entire major for a guy you knew for 4 months when you were 9 and book a private jet cuz you thought the guy was dying and gain unnecessary feelings and have that man shine brilliantly in your eyes and share a deep dark secret with the exact same girl who just confessed her love to a guy and being great partners and trusting in each other to find the truth and enjoy biting into apples because theyre red and

klapollo? dont even get me started. once again, not because of normal ship reasons, but because they make me so infuriatingly mad. but yknow being used to getting inspected by the ladies but feeling that way for the first time with a man and calling each other cool while blushing and treating your guitars like lovers instead of smashing them on stage and singing a song about your boyfriend being the prosecutions witness and taking care your heart isnt stolen away and wiping pretty smiles off your opponents face and pulling the darkness out of him and being dazzled and literally asking him out to dinner is all normal and straight dude stuff

lanamia? girlfriends? really? i cant believe you thought that going to law school together and being both a detective and prosecution at the same time she was a defense attorney and being close enough to her you had to push her away and break contact when you got involved with a murder and dying at the hands of the man that blackmailed her and her being the first person you tried to contact when you were in trouble and being attracted to her (intellectually) could possibly mean anything not straight at all.

franmaya?? wtf are you on about??? wdym you saw acts of lesbianisms when two women admire each others strengths for being so strong in her own way in the exact same situation as herself and when theyre narrative foils and when one of them avoids whipping the other despite not doing this for pretty much anyone else and when she spends all night on a freezing cold mountain doing something extremely difficult to make sure the other is okay and out as soon as possible?

faraskye? HA dont make me laugh. why are you even telling me about how theyre literally a detective and thief which fits the trope perfectly and about how they investigate together and about how they worry about each other and how they both have big dreams about their careers in the future which theyre super passionate about and have entirely planned until something comes in their way?? this is all heterosexual behaviour???

blackmadhi? you mean having opposite designs that are black + edgy and white + holy while having the complete opposite personalities to their outfits and calling each other sad monk and reverse panda while fiercely going off against each other because neither of them can bear to lose and putting up facades to keep others away from their true selves but still caring about their younger siblings and doing anything for their sakes? yeah i dont see it.

junithena? youve got to be kidding. playing together in the woods as children and growing up to still remember each other even when others dont approve and being determined to help her find her true self and being worried that shes anxious while remembering what happens when she does even though its been years and getting mad at anyone who bothers her and sobbing because she gave you an orange and promising to defend her no matter what and taking a risk so that she doesnt get in trouble in court and calling each other nicknames and getting jealous that two people are fighting over her love while calling her a bunch of compliments and being supportive but sad when she gets a crush on a guy for some weird forking reason doesnt mean anything at all.

asoryuu????? whaaaat??? cant believe you ever thought that being certified besties and taking a huge risk so that said bestie wouldnt lose their dream and calling each others partners like every line and that thinking hes the pride and joy of your university and not sleeping in the same bed so you can go into the closet and teasing each other while still showing your unbreakable bond is homosexual activity.

tldr: theyre straight /s and i hate them