#what if two car salesmen were gay and in love and had a nice weekend and there's no karate anywhere

[billhader]

thrift shopping

they both love a good secondhand store, but not for the same reasons.

anoush gets deadly serious about vintage furniture. he finds a genuine formica table and chairs in a forgotten corner of an antique mall and he almost cries. he's gotten into a verbal altercation over a handmade sideboard at a flea market. he has a vague dream that if he ever gets a house with enough space, he'll start restoring/rehabbing old woodwork, or perhaps he'll build some furniture of his own to pass down to his children.

(but once he really does get the space, in some not-too-distant future, he'll just plan projects, then sit back comfortably with a little drink. the projects will give louie an excuse to play around with dangerous power tools in the backyard. when anoush keeps him busy, he stays out of trouble.)

speaking of louie, his favorite pastime at any antique mall or flea market is to unearth the most useless hunk of junk in the whole place. he has a knack for it. the first time anoush brings louie out to a so-called vintage store, he's pretty sure louie will be bored within a few minutes, but he just has to pop in and ask for the price of the writing desk in the window. anoush goes to find a store employee, and when he returns to the front louie's vanished. anoush finds louie in the maze of displays twenty minutes later, sitting on a scratchy old couch from 1972. he's rummaging through a board game box that looks like it's about to fall apart.

"my brother got this shit for christmas once." louie doesn't even look up at anoush. "crossbows and catapults. our set looked just like this. i used to take the little guys outta the box and make 'em go to war. smashed 'em up pretty good."

he holds up a small plastic figurine. anoush can hardly make out what it's supposed to be at first. a fierce scowl, a sword, a helmet with horns. here and there, a fleck of red paint hanging on despite everything. it's easy to picture a tiny louie sending his miniature viking army into bloody battle. anoush takes the plastic warrior and sits down next to louie, ancient springs creaking beneath him. he leans on louie's shoulder.

"how do you play?"

"beats me." louie shrugs. his arm slides behind anoush's back, rubbing between his shoulders. "i never did the actual game. i just stole the pieces and used this catapult thingy to shoot rubber bands at tony."

anoush picks through the contents of the game box. "there's no instructions." he places the viking back with his brethren and slides the dusty lid back on top. the box art is faded, the cardboard flimsy and brittle. it would look horrendous on their professionally restored antique coffee table. he glances at louie and catches the soft, sad look on his face.

"should we buy it and try to reverse engineer the rules?"

"sure. hell yeah." louie grins. "but if we can't figure it out, i'm gonna shoot rubber bands at you in your sleep."