#what if theres no limit and im just wasting my time

[risaonda]

gets home from work starts looking into applying for boring office jobs

[ganondoodle]

( totk rant?)

i have talked alot about my problems with totk in detail, as most of you probably know by now- but there really is a vibe of big ambitions but then not committing to it throughout the game

they want to have that building mechanic in it no matter what in a world that isnt in any way build around it, mister "freedom = good, linear = bad" guy wanting to give you ultimate freedom in the game (which imo leads to it being nothing again) but not committing to it and it creates a really toxic loop of things being more punishing than rewarding

you can build a fuckton of weird vehicles, but big parts, ESPECIALLY the glider, is on limited time so you cant actually go anywhere you want; they know giving you absolut freedom will remove any possible challenge- so they limit it by making the glider part timed, but then they cant do that for every single part bc it would be almost impossible to create anything that works well when every part is on a timer and you dont know how much of its lifespan is left bc you accidentally hit a fan once so now its uneven with the other one AND the more parts you have the more it uses battery, it makes sense, so you cant build soemthign super overpowered right at the start and its just kinda logical, but it leads to you being incentivised to build something with the fewest parts that dont have a timer-

then theres the battery power, which they try to limit by putting its upgrades behind multiple different currency exchanges, which is frustrating and leads to alot of grinding and gets overpowered really fast (it works against itself too that said currencies are all placed in the most undeveleoped and repetetive area of the game and are all never involved in anything interesting, its reused old enemy camps and the same mines everywhere, theres not a single reward in the underground that actually feels rewarding imo)

then you get the autobuild thing, so you can skip the building part of the building mechanic that is the main selling point of tha darn game, bc they know it can get frustrating to rebuild your things over and over so they give you a skip button for that if you are one of those players that doesnt like it BUT THEN they cant jsut let you do it for free so they give it a price, either spend the same currency you need for the exchange for the one you need for battery upgrades or spend parts you collected- both of which are things players generally save up and refuse to use (like the -never use any health potions bc what if i need it more at some point- thing is a problem for a reason)

then theres the added thing of the building stuff despawning incredibly quickly, im gonna guess its otherwise a performance problem (that the game is already struggling hard with) but it makes the entire already bad loop of trying to fix a problem with bandaids over and over even worse, you dont want to go too far away from your vehicles bc it will despawn and waste all that you used to build it, its like a leash to you stopping you from actually using it for more freedom- and potentially adds another annyoance bc you might try to bring it with you as far as you can, a monster truck in the depths you spend all your parts on gets stuck on the first bits of terrain you run into and you desperately try to get it out without destroying it, and if you cant you need to spend a ton of resources to build it again, even with autobuild

which is how you get the hoverbike, stupidly overpowered and boring but doing anything else is just less efficient in every way, it uses the least amount of battery, never breaks, is only 3 parts to rebuild

(i know me in particular doesnt enjoy the building in totk at all, for all those reasons and more ...... shiekah ........ and i know you CAN still choose to doing it more creatively, but you never need to, its entirely based around YOU making it fun for yourself, and i dont think its that controverisal to say a game should be fun and challenging without you having to create all the fun yourself and set yourself limit it all yourself)

similar goes for the dungeons, they heard you want the dungeons of old times back, but their strict adherance to freedom (which they themsleves contradict) leads to them being more breakable and less dungeony than even the titans in botw, they cant make it linear, thats BAD, so you can do any puzzle in any order, it cant build on any of the others bc you need to be able to do it when you want (the only one going slightly against that is the lightning one? maybe?), totks dungeons dont even limit that you cant climb them (even the titans in botw recognized that makign it easy to break so they are made of the same unclimbable material like the shrines and other shiekah tech) and the new abilities make them laughably easy to break ( .. im not even gonna mention the water temple one bc ... you dont even need to do anything there to break it to make it easier)

they wanted to cater to people wanting old dungeons, but didnt commit to it, making them WORSE dungeons than the titans with the only bonus being they got different designs and a longer build up to it (that often feels more like artificial filler than actually part of it ... like the missing lore tablet at the zoras and the missing part is a few steps away from it at best)

(ALL THE WHILE they DO limit you in SHRINES, you cant climb the walls again, for some reason, you can climb any other sonau structure though, why not that? idk, but dont limit it enough either bc you can break it all in really cheap and unsatisfying ways with ultrahand and time reversal alone- and they CANT limit those bc those abilities are the main ways to solve the 'puzzles'- botws abilities were .. well, limited in what they could do making them much more balanced, but moving sth with ultrahand and then stepping on it and time reversing it can be the boring solution to any 'puzzle', the best and only really good shrines are the ones that take all you shit bc it wactually forces you to be creative BC ITS LIMITING YOU)

(funnily enough a big possible reason why they removed the bombs from botw is bc of the glitches with it ...... like the new stuff isnt even worse and you dont even have to try lol)

people speculated on there being underground exploration due to the first trailer? people are worried about reusing the surface? ok they put the entirety of the surface map into the game again, but dont commit to it being a full thing, its horribly underdeveloped and filled with either nothing or reused filler material, while also neglecting changing anything substantial about the surface, and then the sky isalnds they even reduced and really there isnt anything of substance on there either besides the tutorial (hey, seriously, if one of botws most defining feature is its wide and empty sky why the hell would you decide to use that same map to put in your sky islands idea in), not commiting to one idea but doing all of them badly

ganondorf? well, they sure put him in there, but really what does he do? fuck all, the entire actual game hes jsut marinating in his own miasma juice for no reason, he doesnt have any presecne in the game, all he gets its a few scenes in the "story" that are told through memory cutscenes in a stupidly mega distant past i dont give a fuck about and all he does is go through the most stereotypical villain checklist of both actions and speech, they want ganondorf in there but dont commit to him ACTUALLY being there (listen i love ganondorf but really calamtiy ganon was more interesting than totk ganondorf ok im SORRY they did him so dirty)

they want dragon zelda and link 'losing' his arm be a big epic sacrifice but then .. again, dont commit to it, they tell you its oooh so irreversible and whatever and then at the end just fukcing reverse it, with no build up at all, and NONE of your own input, it just happens, and its not JUST zelda but also links arm, reversing it BOTH even and you dont even need to have all shrines (that are supposedly to cleanse your arm of miasma, i guess thats a non problem if you just stab the source of it to death instead)

they want it to be a sequel but also its own game, not committing to either and leaving us with this weird .... more alternative universe thing, vague references to botw but also acting like it never happened, slight changes, like zeldas hair, to make her seem different when shes exactly the same (you cant imply waifu zelda would ever age and not look like a little doll) and ignoring anything about her character from botw (no im serious, ooh shes nerdy for 3 minutes at the start and one time in a written thing from some servant of da royals in the past and thats it, interest in the shiekah? whos shiekah?- if anything her character is reversed, really having even less agency than in botw, that one decision to dragon is like, it really doesnt matter and not really her decision bc she didnt have a choice and it gets reversed anyway without her even remembering)

even retreading all of botws points (but doing it worse imo), but then attempting to differentiate itself from it by removing a big thing that made it what it is (shiekah) without giving it any or any sensible explanation among more, not committing to either sequel or AU and so doing both incredibly badly

(not quite the point but what i have been questioning for a while ... they way raurus abilities work ... so do all sonau have those? was it just a normal thing to have? could all sonau just glue shit together and jump through ceilings? he never uses anything of that when we see him? why is it just in the shrines at the start and its like .. he just gives it to you ...?? huh??is it part of his arm .. jewelry??)

(anyway, tin foil hat moment but it just feels like either there was a huge internal fight about everything or they neglected it in favor for something else, like say, a movie that earns them billions and is faster and cheaper to make than a game... or just dont care anymore i guess, idk which is worse tbh)

[etherealkissed88]

i asked you something and you not only were mean, but you are also making fun of me on twitter. i felt so embarrased that i had to delete my account. you made me feel so bad. i did nothing to you. you had no reason to be so mean. english is not my first lenguage so i also have trouble communicating, i understand half of what you post here. karma will hit you so hard.

lets quote what i said “no i dont believe they are possible 🥰 which is why i have a whole page dedicated to manifesting stuff 😍”

this isnt mean, this is sarcasm. you communicate very well actually but heres the thing: i looked at ur account and you repost a lot of loa content. if you read all those posts especially the ones about desired appearance which is what you were asking about, it doesnt make sense for you to ask me “do you believe its actually possible to manifest a desired appearance.”

and do not use your language barrier as an excuse to make me feel bad because i rly dont. if you were so bad at communitcating, you wouldn’t be able to communicate to me both this time and the previous time, plus y would u read and repost loa content if u had an issue w language? i know you understand loa but when ppl keep searching and searching for outside answers and validation, it doesnt get them anywhere. believe me - ive “coached” ppl who repeatedly asked me the same questions over and over again despite my whole account and posts being right there. they still struggle because they only ask questions and never apply.

the same fingers you used to type the question, you could have used those same fingers to scroll thro my page like you did with the other content creators. i get it if you are new to loa (even tho you could have read the content that was already there and even tho u already reposted content answering ur own question) but as someone who creates loa content everyday, its disrespectful from my point of view that i work hard for these posts and ppl dont even look at it and instead ask the most limiting questions ever. its almost like “why would i waste my time w these posts”. if you dont understand this, its bc you arent someone who gets 20 repetitive asks everyday meanwhile their answers being right on my page. it can be stressful and so annoying.

now back to my original answer: “no i dont believe they are possible 🥰 which is why i have a whole page dedicated to manifesting stuff 😍”. if u think this was mean, its bc you knew the answer was yes, it is possible. why else would i have a page dedicated to manifesting if it wasnt possible to “actually manifest a desired appearance”. my answer simply guided you to your own answer and to search my page if you still had (better) questions. what i said was literally not mean😭 and if you still believe so then thats fine bc its never that big of a deal. and i wasnt making fun of u on twitter, i simply said the exact thing i originally answered you with💀

idk if ur a beginner in the law or not but either way, you should know that anything is possible w the law. if u didnt know that, then now you know (and ik you know based on ur reaction to my original answer). and karma isnt real so it will not “hit me hard”🥶

im sorry if you rly have a language barrier issue but from my pov, that was the best, most appropiate reply i could have given. even other loa content creators can agree bc they know how ppl can get in their asks inbox. reread this whole thing if theres still an issue.

and dw u can just make another account like you did just now🤭

[badwithten]

camping with skz hyung line - delulu head cannons

PAIRING SKZ hyung line (Bangchan, Lee Know, Changbin & Hyunjin) x fem!reader

GENRE fluff

WORD COUNT 1.6k

this is very self indulgent but it is 11pm on my 18th birthday when i’m writing this and my mother is sleeping and we are in the middle of no where camping/staying in some cabins with no power or reception so i’m writing this on notes app bc i can’t sleep early so i am just up and i want to be delusional and go camping with skz (changbin but lets give them all a chance ig 🙄) 

in saying that its self indulgent its more of a warning that i’m writing this reader based on me! usually i don’t do this and try to keep everything as neutral as i can (ik i still only write fem!reader but still i try make it as inclusive fem as i can be!)  but for this y/n is def based on how i am camping which happens to be kinda stereotypical girl “omg im scared of bug come save me” which i know isn’t true for all fem people but it is for me and its my birthday so let me be delusional! 

with that in mind, if you still decide to read these i hope you enjoy! might expand onto the maknae line if this is something that is received well? i’ve never really written headcanons so we’ll see!

also also, i know since lee knows camping vlogs theres be a lot of camping with skz stuff but once again, idc bc i am camping now so this is what i want lmao

chan 

chan is definitely the ‘i am prepared, I’ve got you babe’ which quickly turns into ‘omg this fire isn’t staying lit and its cold af right now”

like he comes well prepared, buying and packing the best gear money can get

but no matter how fancy the tent, it is no use if you can’t put it up!

using the limited knowledge the two of you have, you manage to wrangle the tent up just before dark

although this wasted all of the time you had to do any hiking or adventuring for the day. you can’t say you’re to mad to skip to the cuddling

once again, he purchased a whole lot of fire starters and fancy lighters, but the two of you still struggled to get a stable fire going

eventually though, you’re both warm and feed by the fire

he bought his guitar and plays your favourite songs for you

you’re lucky that you’re out on such a clear night, able to watch the stars and listen to your partner sing for you

after a long day of getting lost in the endless pages instruction pamphlets, its finally time  to call it a night

chan thought it would be cute to get matching animal sleeping bags

he got a wolf and when he asked which one you were gonna get you chose a regular adult one

he was disappointed in your lack of humour but now he regrets not doing the same

the child size sleeping bag not even fighting one of his legs

“room in there for two?” how could you say no

lots of cuddles and late night talks, its the first time its truely just been the two of you for a long time

no sounds of the city, no loud neighbours and none of the kids disturbing the peace!

when you wake up though its a sweaty mess, tents get so hot in the sun and waking up to a warm body pressed against you is the last thing you want!

minho

ok this one is a bit hard to be crazy for bc we’ve seen him camping

but that doesn’t make it any less,,, writeable? 

if we saw a chart of “thinks their prepared, is not prepared vs thinks their prepared, is prepared” where do you think chan and minho would sit??

the camp site we’ve seen in his vlog and then his bubble messages is his little get away when his life gets too crazy

its just him and nature (plus some cats. that man is a legit cat magnet and i am so jealous!)

he doesn’t even want to bring any of the members or his friends there

its his place, all he has to worry about is himself

and its not even a worry! he enjoys cooking so feeding himself is a simple task,,, and thats all he’s sorta required to do there

but not long after he started dating you, he realised he wanted to experience the peace of his camping with you

if he was stressed and couldn’t get away, he would turn to you. both of his stress relievers in one place would be a dream come true! (that sounds sexual, i promise i didn’t mean it like that 😭*turns 18 and writes smut right away*) 

despite being there bc he’s currently stressed to the max, he can’t help but care for you still

he cooks the most delicious meals for you

lets you shower first and for as long as you want, not minding the cold water for himself if you use up the supply of the hot

and then when you’re out, makes sure you’re comfortable and warm in bed to ensure you don’t get sick on him

but its not all him caring for you! he knows this as well, loving the way you look out for him

yes he does all the cooking but you’re right by his side, helping to prepare any food he needs to create his dishes

he knows how long you shower for at home so he knows you’re conscious of him by only taking short showers despite how much he insists he doesn’t mind the cold

you’ll wait up for him while he showers, sometimes stealing his side of the bed to make sure its warm when he gets back

you even made sure to pack cat treats incase he attracted anymore strays

needless to say, camping with lee know is a break from your busy lives where you can look after each other

recharge together before heading back to work

changbin 

the man of the hour! why im writing this for hehe (he’s my boyfriend and you can’t change my mind on that idc)

biggest baby!

i’ve been having to boil hot water for drinks over a gas stove

and can you imagine doing that for him while he holds the light and just makes commentary the entire time

like i imagine it going how that one vlog went with his sister where she’s cooking for him and he’s standing there pretending to help but really is being more of a nuisance than anything

but you love him for it

you’re setting up the gas tanks and dealing with fire, he can’t help but just be impressed

not only can you hold your own, but you look after him!

he always is expected to be the caretaker in relationships, being a big strong guy and all, surely he wears the pants in the relationship

but both of you have one leg each in these pants, both of you struggling to walk in the pants. its like a three legged race but worse bc now there’s 4 legs, all out of sync (in the best way possible)

you will make him hot chocolates and deal with the gas stove top

you’ll rub his head in the spa while the two of you soak in the hot water

but he’ll carry you across the river when you two go exploring, not wanting you to get your shoes wet

he’ll make sure to watch out for any mosquitos in the area, swatting them away before they get to you

hes a bit like minho, both of you looking out for each other but a lot less prepared to do so in a campsite 

“yo binnie you know how to set this thing up?”

“y/n i’ve even seen one of these before today” he says as he swings around a tent pole and almost takes you out with it

but its ok bc both of you end up getting the tent up after a long while

he’s just a big baby and i want to give him a hug and make him a hot chocolate ok! it’s all i’ve been thinking about

you two wouldn’t be able to sleep so early into the night so you sneak out to go make hot chocolate’s and sit around the dying flame of the fire pit

its like your teenagers sneaking out despite having paid your bill to stay at the camp ground, knowing you can come and go out of your tent as you please

but that excitement is always something you’ve felt throughout your relationship with changbin and you can’t see it ever leaving

hyunjin

mr dramatic over here would be so distraught at the sight of any bug in the area

and news flash you’re outside in forest, there’s gonna be bugs

all jokes aside though, camping with hyunjin would be such a freeing experience!

he’d definitely use this time to unwind and really get into his painting, with no distractions he’s able to get the creative flow going and create some beautiful works of either you or the landscape around him

and if you’re a writer reading this, then you can do what i’m doing right now and take your boredom in the fact that there’s no power and write as well!

or really if you create anything (art, writing, knitting, any creative outlet!), you’d be right by him doing the same

you’d also do lots of exploring with him!

you’d set of on the hike only to stop every five minutes to look at something

if its somewhere you’ve been before or the two of you are camping somewhere you are knowledgeable about (like camping near your home town or something) then he’d ask lots of questions about the wildlife and plants around you!

but if its new for both of you then it would be so fun discovering everything together

i just imagine sitting by the river bank with him, watching as small fish and other strange water creatures swim through the rock pools

pointing to each and every little movement to make a comment about it

“yo that fish kinda looks like you though”

the comments soon lead to a water fight which ends in the two of you swimming

unlike any ocean or pool the two of you have swam in before, the current drags you down the river

you allow yourself to float for a bit before you’ll both swim back up to where you started

just chatting and relaxing against the river and all its sounds

eventually though one of you remembers all the fish/insects/creatures you saw swimming in there just moments ago and freaks out thinking about it swimming against your skin

so you retreat back to shore, having to hike back to your campsite soaking wet and cold

lots of cuddles to warm up in the tent though

both of you so exhausted you just crash

but it was such a good experience with him. like the two of you are so comfortable with each other that being in by yourselves camping in the woods is such a amazing time 

(but both can’t wait to get back home and enjoy the comfort of your own bed again)

[syrupspinner]

i just defeated Hunie Pop

it was a gift

wow this game is SO racist. like, i went in suspecting the female objectification but god damn this game has a weird relationship with race. any girl who isnt white has a line of unique gifts exclusively tailored to their race, except for lola, but she makes up for it by having some of her favorite gifts be a basketball and a watermelon. i guess audrey and jessie are pretty stereotypical white trash, but that doesnt really help the games case

the worst part is im actually kinda into the gameplay. who the hell cant get behind match-3? well, i cant when the recognition system is too slow to recognize my matches. ive had moments where a red circle falls on three vertical red circles, and it just doesnt count as a 4-line. bejeweled managed that in 2001, thats just negligent

its not just a vacuum though, theres also the dating sim and management gameplay! you can buy gifts for all the girls to give you honey, which you can spend on a limited amount of stat upgrades and nothing else. i have 40,000 hunie i literally cant spend. anyway, theres a memorization aspect that actually does a good job at encouraging you to interact with the characters as more than boobs with a smile (as long as the facts are actually character building like their favorite season or their college major, and not literally their boobs).

i think the loop of building stats for the dates and building your relationships with the girls is actually pretty solid. until it stalls out, at least. im in the endgame now, doing nothing but killing time to build relationships with the unlockable characters (yes, all of them at once, that stupid bag of fish just wouldnt spawn until the midgame) and it really makes this games flaws shine. i have more hunie than i could ever spend, money is pretty useless since all i can meaningfully spend it on is food (more chances to talk with girls and earn hunie) booze (makes talking to girls give you more hunie) and gifts (just gives you hunie), so all im doing is fucking around wasting time until momo decides shes ready for another date.

by the way, can we stop with the whole 'born sexy yesterday' thing? momo says shes 1 year old in cat-years or something, but its fine because shes technically an adult (if she even says that much...?). its a total turn-off to try and seduce a girl who doesnt even know where shes from and can barely pronounce alcohol. who wants to feel like such a predatory creep? dont answer that

the game is lame. maybe id get more out of it if i like, understood the appeal of porn games? so like, if im horny, im not gonna fuck around playing bejeweled with my dick in my hand, im just gonna watch real porn. and if im not horny, the whole game is just

audrey im trying to keep my combo going put your shirt back on

the point is that i dont recommend this game. it tries to be an arcade puzzler that cheaps out on the mechanics, a dating sim with paper-thin caricatures, a management game where you run out of ways to meaningfully spend both currencies by the third hour of gameplay, and a sex game where... okay i dont really know what makes a good sex game but i still didnt have fun

[mumza03]

Showfall Media Special Announcement Keynote!

I'm losing it rn there are so many ideas I have for this video, its going to be pretty much split in two (each a diffrent font so if you just want my ideas and no recap go to the italic)

Recap time this is a lot:

starts with a white screen with GEN 1 in the top left corner, then it changes to the showfall logo and a little tune like the last video posted.

Surprise! we get to see the man with the box over his face's face! he says "hello! and welcome to showfall media. for years we have provided endless entertainment for families all around this world."

the video does a TV style glitch but its in red, and over the static are the words "hello?"

the glitch stops and cuts back to box man, "we are more excited then ever to bring our influence to a new frontier, with our new live experience, we have spent months developing, researching, and connecting with this new frontier and we are thrilled with the results."

another static glitch, this time with the message "where is this signal going?"

back to the dude, "with out state of the art, brand new technology, we're giving you! The viewer at home, control of aspects of our show."

mid sentence his head starts to freak out, his face is blurry and it moves unnaturally.

then he's back to normal, "your choice will matter so be sure to make the right one or the effects could be devastating for our hero. Our hero will meet a cast of crazy characters, some of who you may recognize." on his left and right two pictures of men pop up both of their eyes and mouths are blacked out.

this is the guy on the left

and this is the guy on the right

at the bottom of the screen here are the words "Found them!"

he keeps talking, "which are sure to keep things entertaining and unexpe-" here he get cut off.

the screen turns back and theres red writing on it "is this working?" "I don't have much time" "I don't know what's happening" "i don't know what you are"

"It already found him" background turns to a missing poster from last time. This time its much easier to see who is on the poster and its Ranboo.

"it got everyone" "everyone but me" "I have to save them" "I have to stop this"

and now back to box man, "we are so excited to be showing you this world for the first time, which is why we are not limiting it to just one show. that would be such a waste of this opportunity. be sure to join us for this three part viewing experience. starting on may 24th continuing on may 26th, and concluding with our big finally," his face does the glitty thing like earlier in the video, " on may 28th you can only find it on." and thats where he is cut off.

screen goes black for a second, then box man come back on but his face is featureless, theres static, and GEN 1 is back in the top left. then some new text pops up: "GEN 1: the social experament"

May 24

May 26

May 28

6pm EST

your chosen viewpoint: Twitch.tv/Ranboolive

Here is where the video ends.

in the description box is the binary code reading "let the show begin"

Here are my thoughts on how all of this either connects to past videos or posts and what I think this means for "Our Hero" to reuse this phrase from box man. I strongly believe that Show fall is in control of everything happening in the story, they found "them" and are looking for GL!Ranboo right now. I think that the people that were taken are now apart of the cast, or at least for the most part this is the situation. perhaps the two men in the photos above escaped from Showfall with Ran after learning about a horrible thing that Showfall did. probably relevant to this big project being announced. The two of them look kind of like sneeg and charlie to so I think that they might be involved in genloss as well , but im not 1,000 percent sure, but it would be on brand for them. final thoughts would have to be about the word choice of box man, the fact that he kept saying "this frontier" to me implying that our universe/world/timeline/any other way for showfall to not be apart of this place we are in is some where new to them. However that could be written off as frontier of this interactive video formate. i kinda like my first thoughts over this more.

[magioffire]

Absolutely fascinated by the glimpse into snail husbandry, may we have an infodump?

OHHH YESSS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK!!!!!!!!!

okay so for reference.....i keep ramshorns (at least one to two species. im still figuring out the id of them but at least one is Planorbella duryi), bladder snails (Physella acuta), assassin snails (Anentome helena) and mystery snails (Pomacea Diffusa Bridgesii). they all have their own little quirks and care requirements but overall, taking care of aquatic snails is LAUGHABLY easy. its maintaining them at a reasonable level thats the hard part.... i have a total of FOUR tanks (and one vase) and all of them have snails. all of them but the snail hospital tank has been absolutely overrun with ramshorns and bladder snails. this is because both species are hermaphroditic and while there isnt a lot of conclusive evidence on their ability to self-fertilize and clone themselves, a lot of people *swear* they do because of their ability to just pop up out of nowhere, and for one to suddenly become dozens. however in my opinions its because they are just so extremely prolific and start off so small, and from what i understand...these snails dont really reach sexual maturity so much as they are ready to start mating right out of the gate. bladder snails are often referred to as being 'born pregnant' for this reason. they do need to be a certain size before they can start laying eggs but booooy if theyve been mating this entire time then you better BET they got a lot of fertile eggs stored up. and they are very good at hiding the eggs. ramshorn eggs sacs are kinda like a pale red pustule, while bladder snail eggs are more like a membrane with little white dots inside. the ramshorns eggs are very...satisfying to pop.

mystery snails, however, are much easier to keep under control because they have very unique mode of depositing their eggs. they lay them in clusters above the waters surface, so removing the eggs is as simple as just scooping them off with a paper towel. just make sure you check the lid because i ended up with TWO separate clutches hatching because i didnt check the lid. mystery snails are also dioecious (seperate sexes) so you could limit breeding even more by separating females and males. though there is some evidence that some species of apple snails are capable of proandry (male to female), it seems to be proceeded by an aestivation period, and is very, very rare and hard to recreate. they still really dont know how or why apple snails change their sex, its not very well studied, so often its just decided that they *arent* capable of it until more evidence is provided. a technical probability isnt a certain possibility.

assassin snails are live bearing snails, and livebearing snails tend to not breed so intensely as ones that lay eggs as it requires more resources to keep the babies to term. so basically they will pop out a few babies every few months. much more managable than the ramshorns and bladders.

keeping snails like ramshorns and bladder snails is a lot different than most pet keeping, in that you no longer really are caring for an individual animal but rather an entire colony of them. so while you often feel like a monster culling snails at first, it is for the overall benefit and wellbeing of the entire colony of snails as they can overrun themselves, and kill themselves with their own waste build up. theres only so many water changes one can do. keeping mystery snails however is much more personal, as you can easily get attached to them as individuals being much bigger (some up to 4 inches!!) and easier to control their breeding. they also tend to live longer than smaller snails at 1-2 years in tropical tanks and 2-4 years in temperate tanks. warm temps and lots of food make their metabolism speed up and so they eat and breed more, and ultimate run themselves ragged a lot faster than snails kept in cool water. cool water also contains more dissolved oxygen, though oxygen is not usually a problem for these snails as they have both a gill and a lung. however ,i think lots of dissolved oxygen just makes them happier.

they eat....pretty much anything. the pickest snails ive ever kept are bladder snails -- they pretty much only wanna eat algae and detritus. however my ramshorns and mystery snails will go nuts for pretty much anything thats remotely edible. they need a lot of calcium and protein in their diet to help maintain their shells and mantles, particularly if they are being kept in soft water or water is low amounts of dissolved carbonate (aka kh). they love blood worms, tubifex, ive even see them prey on HYDRA?? like mow them right up. like doesnt that hurt??? they also love algae wafers. dead plant matter. dried shrimp or fish. zucchini and cucumber, strawberries and watermelon (rind included), stuff of that nature. they arent picky. at all. they will even eat the dead skin off your hand if you let them. it tickles??? in that same vein though they will immediately start eating a dying or severely injured fish or snail or shrimp. they dont care. if youre lying mostly motionless on the tank floor, theyre coming for you....unless youre a pleco. you can stay as still as you want. theyre scared of you if youre a pleco. even though youre so nice as to give shell cleaning sessions? sheesh. shes not that ugly :(

i also have very very tiny freshwater limpets in my tank, not much to say about them. theyre just there, making their long journey across the glass looking for diatoms and algae. they are so small ....so small...

heres images to boot

(pink leopard ramshorn)

roman orgy....

big and small.... (mystery snails)

snail life means sitting backwards on your date and falling asleep

(roman orgy again)

snail love and peace on earth....

theyre friends :)

i told u the limpets were tiny

I NAMED THIS NAME AFTER @constellationcrowned 'S MUSE KARIOM AND I LOVE HIM???? HES A FEMALE SNAIL BUT WE DONT CARE. HIS PRONOUNS ARE HE/HIM. TRANS SNAIL....

[gayspock]

ok im lbing this bc we're not gonna get more for a long time

ok initial thoughts: zombies by the cranberries sent me a little loopy. im sorry. its a heartbreaking song, its a heartbreaking scene. but playing those both together is the funniest fucking thing you could do ever. heavens

second thoughts: i know there was a lotof, like, backlash abt the last ep regarding the present day girlies "giving in to lottie so easily" so its funny to see them ppl owned so early. LOL. although this cant end well and i have already been spoiled and i will say i saw that coming sort of but thought "no they wouldnt do that... tht sucks" but anyways

THIRD thoughts and last time im gonna open a thought with that: literally i said all that, but i know last week ppl also complaine saying they didnt "explain the game well enough" which i thought was stupid bc if they sat there and did thatd be clunky and dumb and ruin the horror of it so now misty is just exposition dumping to lottie im like for gods sake. and in some ways i do kinda get what theyre trying to do with it (misty would be frank about it and clear and etc) but i still think its just a bit alrighhttt alrighttt to watch

this is making me feel sick...

SHAUNA BEING THE DESIGNATED BUTCHER TOO... heavens and a bit.

TH

NOT THE DESIGNATED T...

this is so fucking crazy

HER COVERING HER EYES. I AM SICK. YOU KNOW WHEN THE WET, BIG BROWN PUPPY DOG EYES ARE GONE THE WORLD IS DARK AND CRUEL

ok but seeing trav crying over havi like that . meanwhile shauna was fucking sobbing with jackies corpse holding it for months. everything in the world mental

UGHHH FUCKING WALTERRRRR

SORRY IVE MADE MY FEELINGS CLEAR. I DO NOT LIKE HIS FUNCTION AS A CHARACTER. I THINK MISTY'S ARC WOULD BE SO MUCH FUCKING STRONGER WITHOUT HIM. GET MORE CREATIVE. YOU DONT NEED HIM . and its like hes not bad hes fine but its so annoying that they give him more FUCKING ATTENTION THAN FUCKING NAT AT THIS POINT

plus her dynamic with nat is so much better

i love adult shauna scheming. always gets them into a bit of a pickle. classic!

COACH BEN COMING BACK TO STIUATIONS IS FUCKING UNFATHOMABLY F- NATALIE WHAT HAPPENED

I FIGURED OUT WHERE HAVI WAS HIDING

DOES ANYONE HEAR HIM

YOURE N

I FEEL SICK

his little gorgeous babygirl tear.

coach ben your gay ass needs to move fast before the second most homophobic fast food chain after chick fil a opens up in the canadian wilderness with a limited menu of #1 fucking d

FUCK OFF ELIJAH WOODFUCK OFF KEVYN THIS IS SICK. UGHHHH YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST.

UGH

THIS WHOLE CONVO IS SO BORING IM ASLEEP WORST GUYS IN THE WORLD FUCK OFF THERES NO WAY WE'RE WASTING TIME ON THESE GUYS WHEN THERE'S LITERAL GIRLS EATING GIRLS

"A COVEN OF THEM ALL UP TO NO GOOD" OK that kinda ruled

JEFF WIN JEFF WIN JEFF WIN HIS BIGGG JEFFING COCK FUCKING RULES . NO JEFFING ABOUT.

YOU KILLED HIM?

OKAY jeff is raising the bar here im happy with jeff and walter jeffing and waltering and jaltering and weffing

is weffing something sexual it sounds sexual i hope to god not

shauna is so mother making a meal for the family 😊

THE WOBBLY HEART . MY GOD. DONT- DONT GIVE IT TO TRAVIS. DONT FUCKING LOOK AT HIM WITH THE WOBBLY HEART. COME ON BRO.

hes

um

raw.....

this is a little um

god the crazy parallels of lottie in the past fucking ruined over the ritual and lottie of the present being the most caught up in it. hellaur

IF YOU MAKE CALLIE DEAL WITH THAT ROTTEN COP I'LL KILL US ALL

SHAUNA DRAWING THE CARD?

"IT WAS JUST US!" "is there a difference?" EXACTLY. SAY THAT AT THE FUCKING C- SORRY BUT THEIR SLOW ASS RUNNING MADE ME LOSE IT

TH

THE TRUNK OF THE FUCKING CAR HELP THATS SO FUNNYYYY KEVYNNNNNN

CALLIE WITH A GUN

HI... OK. BUT THE ... OK IS ANYONE GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOW

i mean other than the girlies in animal masks in th e woods

lottie: everybo-

SHUT UP ITS CRAZY EVERY TIME THEY CUT FROM A FUTURE SCENE TO A PAST SCENE I GO STUPID IN THE HEAD

lottie: can you fucking kill me

lottie: can you fucking kill me and can i also elect the next girl president

ANTLER QUEEN?

NATALIE?

YOU MAKE ME SICK

YOU MAKE ME SICK THERES NOWAYYYYYYY

NATALIE NO MY SEET SWEETBABYGIRL

HEY

HI

AND HELLO

LISA....

LISA. NO. SURELY NOT.

OH MY GOD

NATALIE YOU ARE SO....

the nattielot stocks are literall crazy the nattielot stocks are literally in turmoil its like a rollercoaster its literally a thrillride they blow your brain right out up and down and round and round til your FUCKING BRAIN COMES OUT YOUR NOSE AS DINNER SURPRISE

travis......................

my god natalie atalie no NA QUEEN CA RD QU

NM

M

M

M

M

M

HI AND HELLO AND HI

SORRY . THATS TISTE DTHIS IS TWISTED THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER IM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS EVERYBODY VETTER FUCKING KILL

STOP PLAYING RADIOHEAD AND SLOWMOING HER FUCKING DEATH IS THERE NO FUCKING DIGNIT

NO THIS IS

YOU ALL.... ARE THE WORST.....

I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING EXISTENCE

ITS NOT EVIL ITS JUST HU

THE NATLOTTIE STOCKS JUST BURST

I FEEL ILL I HATE MY ST- NOT THE DRUG OVERDOSE. COME ON . I JSUT WANT TO FUCKING CRY THIS ALL FUCKING SUCCKS.

walter: um...... >_<

you guys fucking suck sending her there i know i know theres so few options but fu- VAN. PUT THOSE BIG WET EYES AWAY. PUT THAT AWE-INDUCED WET SMILE AWAY. COME ON GIRL. PULL IT TOGETHER

hey shauna

most normal girl in the world

coach ben said FUCK women. WOW. ALRIGHT. i mean it was... RIGHT LIKE HE?

HE SERIOUSLY JUST DECIDED FUCK THESE GIRLS OH MY GOD YES TYHIS IS THE FUCKING ENDING I WANTED

van being the last out vantler queen when?

THIS IS FUCKING NUTS

altrnateively the wilderness being like :/ you didnt need to do that to havi guys....

ANYWAYS GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

[ethmaron]

mer au ramblings under cut ↓

i was thinking about the mers and their behaviors in particular-- i can't remember if i've ever really talked about it (if i have it's on one of the older posts? probably under one of the asks from capricorn) but bc i had spotted that recent thing i drew in my canvas library the mers are so cat-like in my head. or something. i do think they hide under their tails a lot when they get upset or embarrassed and stuff but that's probably more coming from i think they hide away in little caves and stuff normally and its like just a placeholder behavior sorta deal. they like the dark and small spaces bc like tims got that cave he likes to go to a lot (he takes kon there eventually--idk if ive ever mentioned tims little hideaway lol)

i do think they also like to smack each other with their tails as a playing thing which is fun until its a human and they get absolutely wasted by 30+ lbs of pure muscle. i do think it would be hilarious if in some of the first interactions dick smacks someone and there is very quickly rules established. he ends up only being able to play with jason until he goes . "missing". (tbh this is making me think about little dick and jason and im getting very teary. thinking about bruce deciding to reach out to the humans as a way to help protect both himself and his sons from poachers and stuff. gets them access to medicine.)

i DO think that dick and jason woulda been much closer in this though and i feel like being honest mers kinda have shorter lifespans in the wild? (bruce is probably still pretty young by human standards i think, but is getting up there by mer standards) limited access to food + getting into fights + poachers. actually the fighting aspect is interesting to me because i dont think i've thought much of it before? the only natural defenses they have are teeth, nails and tail. i think mer fights would probably be very quick and typically escalate fairly fast. (also realizing bruce would definitely be a killer in this au by virtue of protecting his territory + his family. wonder if it would turn into a more he doesnt want his kids to have to ever kill? but idk bc that would be a part of the lifestyle of a mer, and they would need to know how to defend themselves anyway) weak points definitely tail fins and throat. fins specifically because they cant swim without them so they'd just kinda sink and rot at the bottom of the ocean if they dont have someone helping them; which is to say in the case of shredded fins because jason kept his fins but theres holes in them which Does effect his swimming speed but only because of the holes and not the material of his fin (i do think the humans have tech that could theoretically replace tail fins in order to help them swim again but they wouldn't be as durable as their natural fins. wouldn't be able to tolerate fast swimming. probably what would've happened to babs--i don't think ive ever addressed her in this au? i should go and design some of the people that are missing. i think shed be reallyyyy pretty.) but i think that once a fight is determined to be to death they just go for the throat/gills.

regardless that is to say that the hiding behavior i think is funny and i do fully believe the first time kon or jon sees it they immediately make a cat comment and then show pictures. depending on who the mer is/their landside education they dont even know what cats are which would be kinda funny i think. hilarious to me if damian convinces jon to bring a cat because he wants to meet it (he definitely still loves animals--probably bffsies w some of the sharks and other animals in their territory.) I DESPERATELY WANT KON TO BRING KRYPTO oh god kory would have a heart attack if he snuck krypto in. bart would love him. i think tim and cassie would be a little ehhh about him but krypto so sweet just a little baby .

i had talked about a while ago that i should try to work bernard in--i think itd be kinda silly if there were a bunch of tims like comic HS friends that are just interns or something in different areas of the facility and stuff and they all end up kinda becoming friends anyway. bernard, darla, ives, etc. idrc if it doesnt make sense this entire au is a trainwreck anyway lol

ACTUALLY very funny to me i was thinking abt how tim gets a little demanding in getting carried/carted around on land and he finds out kinda quick most the people there can't actually lift them up (kon can technically lift tim/bart/cassie but he Struggled at first). him asking ives to take him to a different tank and ives just gives him a really long look before getting a wheelchair and helping tim drag himout of his current tank LOL i think there would be lots of cursing and sniping from both sides .

ill wrap this up but now im thinking abt mer courtship stuff--idk if ive ever talked about that here? its kinda silly LOL

[darkcrowprincess]

(Don't like don't read, post hate and I'll block you) Ok I'm at my limit. I don't care anymore. The owl house is almost over. If I see a post with Hunter and Luz together that I like and it does not specifically say "I don't want you reblogging it with a lunter tag" Next to the art. Than I'm rebloging as lunter for my blog. If it says siblings on it but not what I I just underlined, than I'm rebloging it as such. Don't like block me than. I'm just so done with people coming to me in the comments saying how much they hate my tag or see lunter as siblings. And they want me to take it down. Good for you. I DON’T CARE! I DON’T SEE THEM AS SIBLINGS. Theres barley any lunter content as is because you wackos bully people and try to make everyone ship the same things. You all get on my last nerves. I don't ship lumity. No I'm not homophobic, because I'm bi! No I don't see lunter as siblings. STOP COMING INTO MY COMMENTS TO WHINE ABOUT IT TO ME. God this Fandom is so fucking toxic and filled with school children. Oh no I randomly tagged one art I like with lunter. Lumity will be threatened, people who see hunter and luz as siblings will be threatened. Oh no. All the lumity and seeing hunter and luz as siblings people are going to come at me with pitchforks. I'm so sick, done and annoyed with this fandom. Im depressed and angry all the time, I come on tumblr to escape that not run into more stuff to annoy me. 😤

I ship Lunter, I hate lumity, and I don't care what anyone of you think! Grow up!

You send messages on here to bully me or anonymous ones too I'll block you. I'm so done with being afraid. And anyone who does this to other people grow up and shame on you! You don't like what I post on here block me. Why look at a post you don't like. And waste energy commenting on it. I'm so done. I'm tired of having to tiptoe around everyone. You here me I'm done.

[averyspoopedcorgi]

for the ask game would you like to do eichi and mayhaps even.. tatsumi…….

atsa!!! i knew u were gonna give me tattsun lol but eichi is a welcomed suprise

i hope u dont mind some of my answers being short or shallow cuz I haven read many stories and most of my character thoughts are gibberish :,)

ok ei-chan first

favourite thing about them: his whole character, how complex he is the guilt he feels for his actions I like that he isn't some irredramable villain but just somebody who wanted to save something he loved dearly by any means possible (I hope I'm correct about the last part I haven't read about the war in a while) also half the batshit insane stuff he says is hilarious

least favourite thing about them : I have nothing I particularly hate about him I suppose he monologues are so long sometimes they make me wanna take a break from reading lol

favorite line: pretty mission epilogue only comes to mind from what I've read

brOTP: hell dorm but mostly aira, something about them bonding over their love for idols also chiaki i wanna see them interact more

OTP: the emperor and the his funny clown (wataei) have a vice on my heart

nOTP: romantic reichi or just him with any oddballs that aren't wataru or keito x eichi idk why they just rub me the wrong way

ramdom hadcanon: hell dorm movie which in reality r just aira and eichi watching idol mvs while rei snnnzzs

unpopular opinion: STOP MAKING JOKES ABOUT HIM DYING WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE YES YOU CAN HATE FOR THE SHIT HE PULLED BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO REALISE THAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT A CHRONICALLY ILL MAN DOSENT MATTER IF HES FICTIONAL <- mad about marriage poll

song i associate with them: im soso sorry ive got nothing ; ;

favorite picture of them: babygirl or tiger eichi i cant pick

ok tattsun time!!!

favorite thing about them: the way he talks about his faith is so interesting....youd expect him to spout bible verses left and right but after reading feather touch and his conversation with aira just reshaped him in my mind, theres so much i like about him but this i what really scratched my brain

(also more meta but i like that him being chirstian isnt treated as a joke if that makes any sense )

also also vehicular manslaughter

least favorite thing about them: bastard will not come home no matter how hard i try. i wasted hot limit funds on his revival still nothing. i have every alk five star except him. what did i do tattsun senpai/hj

favorite line: feather touch but specifically the convo with aira. thats all

brOTP: aira and tatsumi. literally the senpai-kouhai friendship of all time

also christian rock drom with koga and leon theryre all besties canonically what else does a guy need (also they take leon on walks together and i think everyone should know that)

OTP: gee i wonder what it is *standing in front of a pile of tatsumayo fanart*

nOTP: idk really??? any of his juniors ig

random headcanon: koga taught him how to play the guitar!!! now you can always hear the distinct sound of christian rock from thier dorm room

he loves dogs like really loves dogs but could never own one cuz he lived in a church for most of his childhood so hes beyond overjoyed to share a dorm with leon

also cane user and bisexual tatsumi is soso real to me

unpopular opinion: stop treating him like hes some white queerphobic christian whats wrong with you people stop acting ;like every christian is terrible

song i associate with them: ah abuseken's christ and guchiry's orthodoxia

favorite picture of them: naur who let bro drive

[ganondoodle]

so guess what they released more interviews and i think given what a writing shitshow totk was and what they have been saying in all these interviews is actually painting a really bad picture; i dont have the time, nor the energy to go over every detail

but they were commenting on people wanting the more linear format back and aonuma himself basically said that he thinks people who feel like that do so only bc of nostalgia and "Why do you want to go back to a type of game where you're more limited or more restricted in the types of things or ways you can play?"

what .. the fuck, more freedom DOESNT automatically mean better??? like ... restriction can be a GOOD thing just as tooo much freedom can be BAD?? like in totk??? are you fukcing shitting me- what the hell are games even for then, has he had an awakening to the fact that he actually just loves sandbox games without realizing it???? im not playing fucking zelda for a sandbox, especially not when its advertised as a somethign else

its pretty clear that they want to keep this format going with everything they say there, ... maybe it really is over huh

also i hate how they kept talking around answering anything about story/lore; they go asked how ganondorf even connects to ganon since theres nothign about it in game, and all they got out was welllll we dont wanna say anything bc its up to the player; about every question you got the answer of "make somethign up yourself" which is just ... its really clear they dont actually care but dont want to say everything is meaningless actually, so they try to be vague about it and with doing that really just confirm they didnt think about it and they dont care- so no lore actually matters, nothing thats been said or established has any meaning bc they will get rid of it the second it crosses paths with their new -more freedom equals better- philosophy, they say its bc they want you to be "free" to think up anything but apparently dont realize that when there are no rules, no consistent lore or anything that it ROBS it, it stops having meaning, its fun to connect dots only when there are rules you need to work with and dots to connect in the first place, when you have an established world with its restrictions it drives you to think more creatively about things- but when there are no rules?? its fucking boring!! thats what it is!!

when you discard all rules i wont care to get invested into anything bc i know it will not be considered again, be done away with without any reason and wont have influence on coming or previous games ... bc there are no rules, anything is possible and everything can be changed any second, so nothing matters

(they also talked about the many viral videos of those very few dedicated people that make godzilla mechs in totk and how happy they are about that- i get that to some extent, but the way they kept talkign about it really just felt like it confirmed my suspicion that that whole mechanic was mainly implemented to let people do that since that gets shared around en masse making it seem like that is why people enjoy it while neither the game nor the narrative are build around it in any way ..)

it just makes all the time i spend thinking, feeling and theorizing about zelda like a true waste of time, bc nothing matters and there are no rules-

i am someone who greatly enjoys working with and around established lore/rules, its fun to me to recontextulize things by being smart or creative with it all without breaking anything or as little as possible of the established things!

if i wanted to do just do anything i want I COULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT bc theres nothing actually stopping anyone to just make up what they want! i DONT need canon to lose all rules for that??!!

maybe ill have to make myself believe the franchise ended with botw on a good note ... ono

[sakumasmut]

this ask will probably very long and pathetic so im sorry ahead of myself </3 YOU DIDNT JUST CHANGE THE POST TEXT TO TALK ABOUT THE GIFT AGAIN,, well obviously i wouldnt say no, and natsume,,, im always open to more natsume content because he is my everything (* >ω<) but you know, as you said in another rb's tags theres seriously so little content of my other favorites that id just feel bad to waste the gift opportunity when i can uhh, magically bring forth more nsfw wataru and leo content because. seriously. theres so little of it!! how!! i went thru their nsfw tags like, these days, and well. ashamed to say the very few there are of wataru, some are from me and even some that contain him and are related to the oddballs are still asks from me!!! no one wants this guy besides me.. ugly sobbing. but also was shocked at how little nsfw content there is of leo? surely hed be more popular so its like.. where is it.. wheres the content!! i did think about you wanting to give me a gift, and i can imagine why youd want to give it (and thinking on par that its not just a late birthday gift </3 but still thanks regardless!!), i was thinking something something with leo and ritsu but.. im not sure what! again if its anything you can just dm me about it or something i suppose </3 or if you do want to keep it as a secret little gift thatd pop up one day i dont mind either! but yeah i realized lately just how sick i am over leo and ritsu. yeah. yyeah. ive been rereading all your content w ritsu and especially the catboy ones.. uwehehe... (´_ゝ`) i kept thinking of scenarios of ritsu inviting leo over in his room with the reader also being there and erm,, wheres mika? i dont know! he can be anywhere he wants to just not here! (i am sorry mika fans. do not make me talk about him or we will reach the forbidden eroguro content. still so sorry for the one anon that didnt know what eroguro is and googled it?? then ended up asking you (ﾟωﾟ) i didnt expect to catastrophically ruin someones life like that... supposedly. my bad) but back to the main thing just uuuuw ive been missing your hcs things that were talking about two characters pursuing the same reader imagine it with leo and ritsu! oh the drama! how jealous filled creatures they both are! incredible! and absolutely phenomenal! but also them both having to share you? think of all the side-eyeing and purposefully paying attention to who you seem to give more attention towards.. they'd be so cute. i have worms in my brain(･ω･｀*). imagine if they were both catboys and so needingly desiring your affection. at once! im going to stop before i explode. i just need them both all over me right now i think. ue. i dont have much to say on behalf of wataru. at this point id just take anything with him because itd be such a rare legendary thing to witness.. ohh the holy grail of ultra rare wataru nsfw (no one wants this clown except me and exactly two other people on your blog) as you said yourself once hed be pretty much open to anything!! the opportunities are endless!! why limit them!! but also ouhhhh i have missed the wataru breeding hcs post.. id almost forgotten hes in puffy bunny even. whenever i think about fucking like rabbits phrase my mind just auto fills it in to nazuna. but ah. applied to wataru. ah. yeah. dont really have anything else to add there but amazing post 10/10 hit me like a rock when i saw it for the first time and may the person who requested that have my forever blessings. i will now sign off before i blow up right in this moment —darlingnon

mmm yeah I suppose you’re right, natsume is quite popular (I even have something for him for next month) but like you said there’s not a lot of writing for wataru or leo, so I’d wanna give you some content for them too! I definitely wouldn’t mind adding ritsu to a leo thing though, more the merrier!

honestly I might just surprise you one day? since I don’t wanna promise a deadline and not make it 🙇 but also very flattering you check my older writing fjehsbdn

[lipiaknight]

A document of all the abuse ive been dealing with.

Mobility aids

ive told my bf many, many times not to adjust the height of my cane and crutches to fuck with me. He does it anyway because "seeing you wobble is cute" ive told him so many times why its not cute and its incredibly dnagerous to me, but he goes "yeah, but you always adjust it when you change your shoes, how is this any different" for referance, i have a set of demoldable skates that change my height by a good 5-6 inches when open, so i adjust my crustches and cane to accomidate. i wear them when going out for longer time periods because if my legs get tired or my hips start to hurt, i can lock my legs and just skate around. For shorter trips, or around the house, i obvously wear flat shoes, and dont have the extra height, so i adjust them lower its annoying as hell. i also tell him not to put weight on my crutches specifically because i have a wide rubber foot, and theres a weight limit before it will start to rip. when he holds one of my crutches (like if im going to pick someting up, or pay for something) he leans against it. Last time i got mad, he said "its not that expencive to replace the foot, just get a new one" run down to vent chat if you want a very long and in dept explination as to why that is problematic hes 50 lbs over the weight limit, btw

Isolation and lack of aid

Yeah, when my car broke down, i asked if they could help pay to fix my car so i could still work. That way i could get a job in tulsa. I was told no. Every time i asked to borrow the car, and said i could handle something myself, i was forced to have bf or gf go with me. Any time i asked specifically to go alone so i could run errands like get shots, set up appointments and such, i was told no. I even went out of my way to schedule my last doctors appointment when they werent going to be home bcause they had a date and they cancled it so they would be there when i left and when i got back. I planned on walking home and enjoying the sunny day, but they didnt let me walk because it was too far. Not even a mile, and i had my crutches. I tried making friends at my old workplace, but i was working with my bf as the manager, and he repremanded the one friend i had for wasting time on the clock while chatting with me. Its why i have no friends.

The original "i need help" summary

so, first things first. Im not able to work a job down here. I cant make any money, and so because the people im living with refuse to help with medical expences, all my tests and medical equipment is getting stalled. I dont even have my own dresser because ive been told to "get it yourself" when i have no reasonable way to make money. The only thing i can reliably do is comissions and streaming, and even then, income isnt consistant, and its barely enough to cover the medical expences i have. On top of that, when we needed to budget, one of the things that were "limited" were meal replacement shakes, which, when i have days i cant eat at all, is the only way i get neutriance in my system. Im scolded and yelled at when i dont push my body to the point of collapsing, and when i do collapse, im coddled like a child because im injured when it could have been prevented. When i said that what im experiancing is financial abuse because they refuse to support me in the ways that i need and my EBT card is used without my knowlege, my bf threatened to get violent. Even directly told me he wanted to wake me by putting a hole through the door. Im not allowed to vent to friends, and all my social media is watched without my consent, even after i tell them not to because of how my therapist taught me to manage my anger. When i got angry about the ableism and abuse, i was told i have narsisstic, self victimising tendancies, and im scared that ill be put in a place where not even my basic needs are met. its been slowly getting worse and worse over the past 2 years, but i finally feel like its bad enough to reach out

Boundry crossing

i told (my gf) not to go through my DM's when i first moved in because 1) i dont have my old groomers blocked, and i have (cw, grooming bullshit) pictures and messages of me when i was a minor in various states of undress, places where i vent and say things in the worst possible way thanks to autism and the way i process language (example calling it financial abuse when im not given an allowance to buy medical supplies and not having a consistant income as well as them taking my EBT card and using it without my input) and also just... generally flirting with ppl because im poly and i know she has jealousy issues, and instead of respecting that, she did it anyway, and didnt feel guilty till bf said he was dissapointed in her. THEN she told me, and was STILL angry about the way i talked about her, and what i said

unreasonable list of responcibilities while my needs are sidelined

Me: ah yes, My disability making me unable to do chores is the problem, and not the internalised ableism that you aknowlege and refuse to confront because youre tired from work. Get into therapy/nbh context: the only ongoing argument between my gf and i is that she wants me to clean more. The expectations of me are, and i quote

-vaccum every 3 days (the vaccum is to heavu and i have repepatedly asked for a lighter one so i can)

-wash and put away the dishes (hands over head make me pass out. I have broken dishes before. That and i have alot of trauma around doing dishes as a task, so i get really bad anxiety and they ignore me asking for comfort)

-feed, water, animals as well as take care of litter (but im not alowed to claim the animals are mine? because that makes her upset?)

-take out trash every other day (trash doesnt filll that often, and ive been fighting for me to have healther food and drinks so theres less waste. I create less than a quarter of the waste in this house)

-meal prep for BF to cook (and also make their work lunches, and take care of portioning ect)

ALL OF THIS while also having a physical disability that makes it incredibly difficult to stand / walk without pain, in a house that is so unaccessable that- on days i can get out of bed but barely, i cant leave my room because of steps and caving in floors, and STILL doing my youtube, twitch, AND comission carreer. Shes getting upset that im not able to do it all and is CONSTANTLY lecturing me because she "doesnt want to treat (me) like a child, but (im) acting like one by not helping out" i cant even fucking move away because theres no accessable jobs in my area and my previous jobs arent an option anymore because of how covid affected the people i worked for. i keep telling her to get into therapy for her PTSD and for her ableism, but ONE failed therapist appointment means she compleatly fucking dropped out. what makes it worse is that my BF is encouraging this behavior. by not telling her off i mean

Person 1: that's too much chores like objectively that is a not sustainable or normal amount of chores. also the animal thing is concerning too

Me: BuT tHeY wOrK 8 hOuRs a DaY. i ShOuLd Be AbLe To HaNdLe It (translation: but they work 8 hours a day. I should be able to handle it)

Person 1: she also shouldn't be infantilizing you for having issues regulating a large amount of tasks. are they much older than you?. youre still quite young, is that your first time living alone?

Me: im 20. shes 35 and hes 38 (yes i recognise how problematic that is)

Person 2 (responding to person 1) Definitely not for sure. Might be reasonable for an able bodied person maybe, but definitely not reasonably with your disability.

Person 1: age gaps can work when the relationship is built on trust, communication, and understanding.

Person 1 (responding to person 2): meal prep plus dishes plus vacuuming every three days is already a not normal amount

Me (responding to person 1): kinda? i lived in an apartment with a roomate before this, but she was a VERY tidy person, and we both owned very few things, and the apartment was highly accessable. The bathroom was even a reporpoused walk in closet, so i could have had a wheelchair if i wanted at the time and been able to navigate fine

Person 2: Everyone in my house has allergies, especially to dust, and my mom only vacuums once a week, so every 3 days seems ridiculous.

Me: we have 3 animals that we dont groom, and theyre allergic to pollen. They want me to care for the pollen... instead of... i dunno, not getting a hottub and saving up for an air purifier?

Person 1: this is sounding more and more like they want a live-in cleaner. them choosing to work 8 hour shifts does not mean you don't get to have choices and a life

Me: BTW, did i mention they got a hottub? like... less than a week ago? after i had been asking for a fucking dresser for months because i dont have anywhere to put my clean clothes and towels and the pet hair on my skin after i shower causes meltdowns

Person 2: Chores should be split equitably, not equally. (2 people responded with a This emote)

Me: it doesnt even have to be brand fucking new. I will be happy with a 50$ dresser covered in shitty paint from goodwill. i just need a place i can put my clean clothes. Also, did i mention that theres wasps on the back porch, where the drier is? and my family has a history of being allergic to wasps? so i panic when i go out there to wash, dry and put away laundry that i cant even fucking put away, and they treat it like im fucking manipulating them. im sorry that i dont know if im allergic or not and ther seriousness of the allergy has put people in the er and even killed family members, and im not willing to risk that. They like "just do laundry at night" as if its not too cold to walk outside. THEY DONT EVEN DO LAUNDRY AT NIGHT BECAUSE ITS TOO FUCKING COLD. they expect my coping mechanisms to make me healthy and normal. They dont realise im fucking coping, not healing.

Me (responding to person 2): but its easy for them! should be easy for me!! /sarc

Person 1: (My name censored) I gotta say this doesn't sound like a safe situation for you to be in. (person 2 agrees)

Me: its not. It never fucking was. Heres a bit of fun math for you! i turn 21 in august. my bf and i's 3 year anneversary will be the following january. my options at the time when i moved in with them were to either move back in with my mom (which was objectivly worse than this) or drive 14 hours, alone (because my gf didnt want to drive an hour in the snow to fly bf to drive with me) and have a place to stay with people who said they loved me, or become houseless. I was in a tripple loose situation. and now im fucking stuck. Im undervalued, scolded constantly, unsafe due to both location and their behavior, and unable to work or drive because my junker of a car died. Im stuck and theres nothing i can do. i just... im tired. i dont want to be here. I want to be able to move somewhere that i will be safe and get the care i need

More information on the "messing with my disability aids" from earlier

Me: ive told my bf many, many times not to adjust the height of my cane and crutches to fuck with me. He does it anyway because "seeing you wobble is cute". i just-...

Person A: ????? thats so fucked up

Person B: What the actual fuck??

Person A: "seeing you struggle to walk even more than usual is amusing to me" thats what that means

Person B: "I broke your kneecaps because it's adorable watching you struggle 📷"

Person A: my wife wont even touch my mobility aids without asking

Me: ive told him so many times why its not cute and its incredibly dnagerous to me, but he goes "yeah, but you always adjust it when you change your shoes, how is this any different"

Person A: that's.......not the same thing... one is getting dressed and ready to go out somewhere, and the other is being harassed and having to fix what was messed up

Me: for referance, i have a set of demoldable skates that change my height by a good 5-6 inches when open, so i adjust my crustches and cane to accomidate. i wear them when going out for longer time periods because if my legs get tired or my hips start to hurt, i can lock my legs and just skate around. For shorter trips, or around the house, i obvously wear flat shoes, and dont have the extra height, so i adjust them lower. its annoying as hell. i also tell him not to put weight on my crutches specifically because i have a wide rubber foot, and theres a weight limit before it will start to rip. when he holds one of my crutches (like if im going to pick someting up, or pay for something) he leans against it. Last time i got mad, he said "its not that expencive to replace the foot, just get a new one". hes 50 lbs over the weight limit, btw

Person C: i’ll beat his ass

Me: i would encourage it, but im still living with him. not yet. gimme 2 months

Person A: i hate to ask this kind of question, but if hes treating you that way is not being with him an option?

Me: siigh. (not at you, jsut alot of info hang on)

Person A: u don't have to answer if u don't want to. no pressure

Me: so, i am working on running away. In order to do so, ive done the math and to get on my feet, ill need between 2 and 2.5k$. 2.5k if were including transportation (my food will be covered by SNAP) I have a plane tiket out on the 20th, and i have a place to stay. Im not sharing my entire plan in this discord because my discord DM's are read. Not my servers, though, but im not willing to play with the chances of my plan being ruined. Im working on getting a job now, and fundraising to get the 2.5 needed to cover my first months expences via both comissions and donations, but its not going anywhere. im at 400 now. Thats it. if i break up with him, ill be kicked out. If i bring up the fact that im being abused, he will get violent. He already has in the past and swung at me. I cant work where i live due to lack of a car and lack of accessable jobs. Im in the process of running away now. just takes time. "why dont you get out sooner?" saving money takes time. Plus, my aunt is the one buying the ticket. I want to avoid holiday prices. more likely ill get a bit extra once im down here "what took you so long to realise it was bad?" love bombing and getting into a relationship with a 35 and 37 year old at 18 when i didnt know their ages and they didnt say when asked, "Has he hit you before?" no. Hes swung and missed, hit walls, put holes in doors and furnature, but hasnt techincally hit me yet. I dont expect that to last. "are you safe right now?" as long as i keep my head down and mouth sut about my plans, yes. Ill be fine (edited)

Person A: wow, im sorry you're having to go through that, but im proud of you for taking the steps you're taking. its incredibly difficult to do what youre doing, but you'll be better off for it (edited)

Me: i just wish the fundraising was working. also, clearifying that ill be leaving january 20th, not dec 20th

Person A: i hope you're able to make up the money

Me: ive been referring to it as "the 20th" with my friends to make it harder to discern. Also, all of my dm's about the situation have been in code, as well as cyphered. for F, i just use enji, for T i use enji plus a 6- cypher, and pictography using emotes plus enji for M1 (names of my friends cencored for my safety)

Person A: that's pretty cool!

Me: this is now the third time ive had to run away somewhere else for my own safety. Its jut the first time ive had to do so with so few resources. Im really good at runaway notes, cryptography, and secret messages. when i post on tiktok, i use the simplist secret code there is so my bf and gf cant see it. just... write out your message with the first letter of a sentance

My public harrassment being brushed off and ignored

Me: The thing that pisses me off, is the one time I tried to use the scooter at Walmart because I was shopping for he house alone for the first time in a while, I got scolded by an employee for not walking. When I explained that I hurt myself getting out of my car, otherwise I would use my mobility aids, she said "if you're hurt, go to the doctor. Don't be lazy" then stormed off. This was before I was medicated for my anxiety, so I just had a panic attack. I mean... How does one even respond to that???

Person W: run her over

Person Y: eat her

Person X: (replying to person W) Not with the scooter, with a car

Me: This is the same worker who saw me without my cane on a good day and asked where it was because, and I quote "I thought all you crippleds need those"

Person Y: wtf

Person Z: Going to a doctor isn't an immediate thing. You don't get hurt and then immediately see a doctor and immediately get treated. It doesn't work like that. And injuries don't immediately go away the moment that you see a doctor either.

Person Y: also has she considered that not all people have access to doctors

Person Z: ^this too

Person Y: ALSO has she considered that doctors can be busy and not have time to see you

Me: She's also the same one who told me I wasn't allowed to wear the demoldable skates I like to use when my mobility is low because I can just lock my knees and be dragged around. Like a wheelchair, but worse!

Person X: You should report her to management. (4 people reacted with a "this" emote)

Me: Fun fact! I am allowed to wear them in Walmart, it's perfectly fine. There's a size limit to the wheels allowed indoors, but it's allowed.

Person W: this is some sort of harassment

Me: Probably.

Person W: you can report it

Person X: this woman never speak again challenge

Me: She doesn't bother me when I'm with my bf and gf, so I didn't bring it up due to anxiety, and Havnt talked to her since I got on meds, but I'm just thinking, and just.... Fuck, man... I let alot of shit slide because of my anxiety in the past that I shouldn't have

Person W: did you tell your partners? they both may be able to help you report it

Me: I did, but their responce was basically "just don't talk to her, you basically never leave the house anyway" which is true, but it was annoying to hear. I dunno, I can't really go anywhere on my own as is, so it's not like anything changes considering how uncomfy she makes me, but still....

threats of violence

M1: The other day I realized That your bf and gf are my siblings in law kind. I think I will show my love by being feral toward them. I will just growl at them and bite them but in a fond way. except your gf. She scares me. Just a little. Not too much because I’m the biggest man

Me: they dont really like you

M1: that’s valid actually. I was just joking. being silly if you will. I’m sorry I didn’t know- I thought they did like me- I was trying to warm up to them and shit /gen. It’s okay that they don’t like me though that’s fine

Me: (context, i had taken an edible to manage my anxiety) Ok, i need to type this out while im still sober, its important. i told them about your financial abuse thing, and it made them both angry. Bf violently so. they basically said to stay out of our relationship, so they dont like you. As far as they know, im not talking to you for a few days. In reality, i wasnt talking to anyone relly, not just you

M1: Oh. I don’t like that they don’t like me because of that.

Me: same here

M1: They don’t have to like me because I’m annoying and not chill n shit. That’s fine. But because I said that they were abusive? And telling me to stay out of it? That’s fucked. I don’t feel like you’re safe there. I don’t like that. Be careful. I wish I could help but the only thing I could do is ask someone to help me help you financially get out. And you don’t know my parents like that and you wouldn’t want their help

Me: Bf desnt want to be called an abuser period. His ex claimed he was an abuser and still uses that as a method of earning money.

M1: that is…. A red flag. so is his ex don’t get me wrong

Me: he was really angry when he heard that. He told me that if it werent for his "spirtual council" (the spirits helping to manage his anger) he would have "put a hole through that door to wake you. Thats how angry i was". He seriously scared me, so i havnt talked to him much since

M1: That’s bad. That’s really bad. You know that right? Like that’s not good

Me: yeah

M1: Okay cool just checking. You wanna leave? Do you want out?

Me: im not entirely sure, if im being honest. i care alot alot, and i do love them, but what he said made me litterally feel sick.

M1: I know

Me: they emphasised that if the idea that they were abusive came from me and not you, the options were to 1) kick me out, 2) force me to get a job and start paying rent and break up with me, or to "call your mom, and have her come pick you up"

M1: That’s horrible. They’re fucking horrible. and I know you love them and I’m sorry

Me: im just... so scared. I know i cant support myself with how bad my body is. and i love them so much. The way Bf kept talking about being so mad he wanted to hurt me, then immedantly relaxed when he heared that the idea came from you.... Fuck, now i remember why these memories were kept from me lol

Closing thoughts

There is so much more, but when i made the deicision to run away, alot of my messages were deleted for my own safety while i make plans. As written above, My DM's are read, and my main account on here is also read without my consent. If you happen to have advice, Please hit up my DM's

[0thsense]

11/29/2023

It's been a while since nippon and nothing good has happened. That's not really true but it is true I haven't made progress on my goals. I've even made negative progress on lifting and running. Or maybe sideways who cares im just not dedicated enough. why do i bother with good grammar on these posts just let it go bro.

I did well on the osu tournament at least, but ive gotta give up on that shit. just play for fun and casual improvement. I fucked up my wrist the other day too and it still hurts. It kinda hurts to type to be honest. tumblr can fuck off with the spellcheck btw. i talked to Peter about his journaling and im starting to think that my thoughts are just way more cringe than average. ur telling me everyone else doesnt have to hold back cringe all the time? i love being cringe is the problem

one thing I remember feeling on the way to see my pt is that i think i like feeling sad. the type of sad where id like to say its something other than self pity but its probably just self pity. god im so reluctant to say im falling into a common trap that is wallowing in self pity.

oh yea I started taking caffeine pills and not taking medication. I don't think its helping so far but I feel less shit all the time. is it time to truly give up? im scared that im losing my mental faculties. I remember I used to try to optimize everything i did. which i thought was dumb at the time because I would proceed to waste all the extra time I had. but now I dont have that drive to optimize anymore. i dont believe in myself to be different anymore. in fact its a struggle to even be normal.

i dont know if ive talked about this before but I tried to go for a route in my life where I wouldnt have to learn to be normal. if I got far enough doing special weird things then people would accept that I didnt have to be normal, and theyd even praise me for it. but now that ive fallen off the wagon I have to just be behind on being normal instead. I hate the feeling that other people will look at me and think I was wrong all along.

Im so doomer in these posts. I guess getting off the medication wasnt enough to stave away the depression. I didnt even do anything today either programming wise. Theres a month left, and its december. maybe i should just start leetcoding now. I say that cuz its the normal thing to say but there is no way I start before the new year. time to pretend to be happy for the holidays.

im worried that it will be difficult to find a job. i want to find a job in new york but i need to find a position that lets me afford rent. i have a limited number of people i can reach out to for referrals and if those dont pan out im probably in deep trouble and will need to take whatever i can get.

there's a channel called hoe_math on yt that has blackpilled views but surprisingly its really popular. the couple vids i watched were entertaining and agreeable and im scared of watching more and becoming a misogynist. the old me would not have been scared. watch and sift the new information and try to remain as objective as possible keeping in mind all of your own biases. now im a thinking plebian. what happened to me? i ask as i know the answer perfectly well.

also i think im bad at diagnosing my own mental state. after taking molly for the first time i could barely tell i felt anything. that probably has an effect on my diet for example, where my instinct on what i need to eat is dull. is this linked to not being in touch with my emotions? ur feelings are partly a reflection of your body's state after all.

i cant even finish this stupid pong game. any mental obstacle that i think will take like an hour is just too much. the true test of will is the will that can give consistent effort day after day. i wonder how neurotypicals feel. does it also feel literally impossible for them to do certain things? what does it mean to just not want to do something? determinism wise everything either happens or is impossible. i have a hard time relating that to the things adhd stops me from doing. maybe the reason im more inclined to believe determinism is that adhd makes the illusion of choice much weaker.

[astyrluna]

ok i gotta talk abt my bg3 playthough w/o twitters character limit cuz this has been on my mind

SO im at the beginning of act 2, into the shadow cursed lands. got through the beginning just fine, went to the last light inn, did all that, prevented isobel from being abducted (which im v proud of cuz i killed a handful of the winged beasts or w/e they were called and had cast lightning bolt to take some down, but then i realized u lost the encounter if isobel got knocked out and was like "well im not wasting a lv. 3 spell slot on this fight if shes just gonna get taken anyway" which quickly became "well in that case im not fuckin letting her get taken then!!!" and it took me 2 lightning bolts and astarion being downed like 4 times but i DID IT)

*ahem* anyway, i prevented isobel from being abducted, and the mission after that is finding out how the cultists traverse the shadow curse and doing the whole ambush. NOW i already knew there was a dialogue w/ kar'niss cuz ive seen clips from "evil" playthroughs where ppl were interqacting w/ him and ive also seen ppl simping for him (and just for the record: smash) so after just letting the ambush happen and initiating battle and seeing his level and hp, i was like "lets see if theres an easier way to do this"

so i reloaded and decided to make myself known. i lied that the absolute protected me and told kar'niss that she wanted me to have his lanturn, then told him to go on. cuz im a sorcerer, i took the option to fake a protection spell on them, and man. i did not fucking expect kar'niss' screams to be so gut-wrenching. my heart dropped hearing him plead. i dont regret it and i will be doing the same thing on future playthroughs where possible cuz its the easiest solution but that was. hard. to listen to. so now canonically thats the first time in the whole adventure that my tav felt actually sick abt something he did. i havent had a long rest since but ive decided that hes gonna have a convo w/ the companions like "i dont regret what i did, it got us what we needed without a fight, but i think that driders screams are going to haunt me for a long time." (but astarion and shadowheart approved so my boys gonna get some ~reassurance~ lmao)

and like. ive made it to the town whose name im forgetting and come across the toll collector and made her kill herself too and felt normal afterwards so its not that i made him basically kill himself, its specifically the sound of his screams that got me

also when i realized they showed back up as shadow cursed creatures right outside the toll house i reloaded again and went up onto the roof and just had astarion shoot them all from a distance. didnt even enter initiative w/ them AND it got us all to lv. 7. ty astarion, my hero *mwah*

and finally (and i did talk abt this on twitter but still) we found arabella at the gates to the graveyard. this fuckin kid. the first thing she does when we approach her is show off some INCANTATIONLESS MAGIC which immediately impresses the FUCK outta my sorcerer ass, tells me her parents are missing (and like. they were dead. i already knew they were gonna be dead. finding the bodies just confirmed it), THEN arabella tells me the only ppl she trusts are herself, her parents, and me, and tops this all off by calling me "hero-man" and running off to my camp like. congrats on the new big brother kiddo youve got him wrapped around your finger already. were both mephistopheles tieflings (presumably. she is also blue skinned), were both magic, like cmon. thats my tavs kid sister

and speaking of finding her parents bodies, actually, the whole conversation w/ the nurse "tending" to them is just...profoundly sad. i ended up choosing the deception choice and saying like "oh i see now, theyre deeply asleep" and the nurse says like "i knew these hands wouldnt fail me" like oh...sweetie...no...

(that didnt quite hit me like kar'niss' screaming did, it just left me feeling sad. for her, for the whole situation. i havent gone back to camp to tell arabella yet, im still 'splorin)

also i found the true love rings. ofc i put one on astarion and the other on my tav. i havent even got to the true confession yet lmao. you dont even know how excited i am for that. god i such a fuckin simp

OH SHIT ONE LAST THOUGHT: I GOT TO FUCKING HUG KARLACH!!!!!!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

you have NO IDEA how happy i was when she got the upgrade and one of the options was "pull her into a hug" i was sat there SCREAMING in joy for a solid 30 seconds before actually doing it, and then a further 2 minutes after LMAO

i just wish there was an option to pull dammon in on the hug. man deserves it. we love this dude