#what if k world myself huh

[leah-sz]

every week i face the consequences of letting this fucking tale seduce me

[sarawayne0510]

ATE

pairing: Bangchan x fem!driver

summary: What if the worlds of Formula 1 and K-pop collided? Follow the story of a Red Bull rookie driver and Stray Kids' leader, Bang Chan

warnings: none?? just cute fluff basically, mention of Y/N

word count: 2.2k ish

Genre: SMAU/Fluff

The golden hour in Monaco was always breathtaking, casting a warm, soft glow over the city. I wandered into a small album store, tucked away from the bustling streets, hoping to find some new music to add to my collection. The scent of vinyl and freshly printed album covers filled the air, instantly putting me at ease.

As I scanned the shelves, a particular album caught my eye-Stray Kids' latest, ATE. My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't resist; my hand instinctively reached out, and I grabbed it. The cover was stunning, the colors vibrant, and I could already hear the tracks playing in my mind. It was impossible not to smile as I held it, admiring the print.

I was completely absorbed in the moment when a voice broke through the silence. "Stray Kids, huh?" The words were familiar, yet they startled me. I was sure I was alone when I walked in.

I turned slowly, my heart pounding, and there he was-Bang Chan, standing right in front of me. He looked just as casual and cool as ever, a cap pulled low over his forehead, but there was no mistaking who he was. My breath caught in my throat as I realized that Stray Kids have been on their European tour and decided to take a little break but In Monaco!?

For a moment, I just stared at him, too shocked to say anything, clutching the ATE album as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

Hi, by any chance, are you (Y/N)?" Chan asked, his voice laced with curiosity.

"Yeah," I said, trying to keep my cool. "And you're Bang Chan, right?"

He chuckled softly, nodding. "I didn't expect you to recognize me. These days, I'm just trying to get into F1, and when I saw you, I couldn't help but ask."

"Oh, really? Well, how could I not recognize my favorite band member?" I replied, feeling a mix of excitement and disbelief. "This is definitely the best day of my life."

Just as I was soaking in the moment, my phone buzzed with a message from my manager, calling me in for an urgent meeting. I sighed internally-of all the times, it had to be now. "Oh lord, I've never wanted to kill someone as much as I do right now," I muttered under my breath, feeling a pang of frustration.

I quickly excused myself, offering an apologetic smile to Chan. "I'm really sorry, but I have to go."

"Of course, no worries," he said with an understanding nod. "It was great meeting you."

With a heavy heart, I left the store, heading back home as quickly as I could. Once I got there, I opened my laptop, ready to join the meeting. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about him the entire time. Bang Chan-THE Bang Chan had recognized me, talked to me, and now, I couldn't get him out of my head.

The last thing I wanted was to attend another F1 party. After a long day, the idea of socializing felt more exhausting than exhilarating. But George had other plans, practically dragging me along despite my protests.

As soon as I stepped into the venue, I felt the familiar wave of reluctance wash over me. The music was loud, the lights were dim, and the room was packed with people -just the kind of setting I wasn't in the mood for. Before I could slip away to a quiet corner, Christian called me over, waving me toward a group of team principals. To my dismay, Christian was standing right beside Toto.

Oh lord, please don't tell me they're at it again, I thought, bracing myself for another one of their infamous spats that somehow always seemed to drag me into the middle of it. But to my surprise, everything was calm. They just wanted me to listen to their old man talk, reminiscing about races and strategies from before I was even born.

After what felt like an eternity, I managed to excuse myself. I needed a break, and the bar seemed like the perfect escape. As I approached, I noticed someone sitting there, casually sipping a drink. My heart skipped a beat when I realized who it was.

Bang Chan.

Of all the people, in all the places, here he was again. I couldn't help but grin. Maybe I was God's favorite after all.

I slid onto the barstool beside him, feeling a rush of excitement. "Fancy seeing you here," I started, trying to keep my voice casual but failing to hide my enthusiasm.

Chan turned to me, a smile spreading across his face. "Seems like fate, doesn't it?"

And just like that, the conversation flowed naturally, as if we'd known each other for years.

As Bang Chan and I continued our conversation at the bar, I could feel a few pairs of eyes on us. When I glanced around, I spotted a small group of drivers-Max, Lando, Carlos, and George-hovering nearby. They were clearly trying (and failing) to be discreet, whispering and exchanging wide-eyed looks.

I caught Lando nudging George, who nearly spilled his drink as he tried to keep his excitement in check. Max, usually so composed, was grinning like a kid who'd just uncovered the world's biggest secret, while Carlos had a look of utter disbelief on his face.

I couldn't help but laugh softly. "I think we've got an audience," I whispered to Chan, nodding subtly in their direction.

He turned to see what I was talking about and chuckled, shaking his head. "They look like they're about to explode," he said, amused.

Just then, George gave Lando a not-so-subtle shove, and the group erupted into barely contained laughter, causing Chan and me to exchange amused glances.

"Should we give them something to really talk about?" I joked, raising an eyebrow.

Chan grinned, clearly enjoying the idea. "Why not?"

We leaned in closer, pretending to be deep in conversation, which only made the drivers freak out even more. They were practically bouncing on their heels, trying to contain their excitement, and it took everything in me not to burst out laughing.

Chan pulled out his phone. “You know, we should definitely stay in touch,” he said, a playful glint in his eyes. “Let’s exchange numbers.”

I smiled, pulling out my own phone. “I’d like that.”

We quickly exchanged numbers, and I saved his contact under “Bang Chan <3". As we finished, I noticed the drivers watching us intently, their faces lighting up with barely contained glee.

“Looks like they’re pretty excited for us,” Chan said with a chuckle.

“Seems that way,” I agreed, trying to keep my composure. “I think we might have just given them a story for the ages.”

With our numbers exchanged and the excitement of the evening bubbling around us, it was clear that this was one night neither of us would soon forget.

The tweet was accompanied by a photo from the party where Bang Chan and I were chatting, and the reactions were immediate. Fans were abuzz, speculating and shipping us together. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sudden attention.

Deciding to lean into the fun, I posted a photo on Instagram

Playing Stray Kids-JJAM

"On repeat 🎧"

And posted a reel of me and Lily dancing to Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies.”

@(username)

"💃💖"

@lilymhe

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@Lilymhe: “@(Y/N) my wife 💖✨️

↳@(your_username) MY WAG!!

↳@user our fav couple

↳@alex_stop GIRLS STOP! ITS CONSERNING AT THIS POINT GO TO YOUR AUSTRALIAN MAN!!

↳ user127 alex don't be shy spill

@LandoNorris nurse she is out again!!

@gnabnahc 💖

↳@lilymhe back off

@maxverstappen1 So THIS is what was happening in the hotel hallway last night?

@CarlosSainz55 I left you alone for 2 minutes!!!

The Monza GP had been a nightmare. The car was in its worst state, and there was a moment when I almost lost control entirely. It was a close call—too close. My heart was still racing from the near-accident, and the disappointment of not finishing not even in top 5 weighed heavily on me. All I wanted was to forget about the day, but the memories kept playing on a loop in my mind.

Just as I was about to curl up and try to sleep, my phone buzzed with a message from Chan:

Chan: “I heard about the race. Are you okay? Big hugs from afar 💛”

I sighed, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

Y/N: “It was a disaster… I was so close to crashing, and the car was a mess. I could really use a hug right now.”

Moments later, there was a soft knock on my driver's room . Confused, I got up and opened it to find a figure standing there, in all black and in a facemask and sunglasses. It took me a second to realize who it was, but the familiar warmth in his eyes gave him away immediately.

“Chan?” I whispered, my voice cracking slightly.

He nodded, pulling down the mask to reveal his face. Without a word, he stepped forward and wrapped me in the tightest, warmest hug. I buried my face in his chest, the tears I’d been holding back finally spilling over.

“I’m so sorry,” I mumbled against his shirt, my voice shaky. “I almost crashed, Chan. It was so close…”

“Hey, hey,” he murmured, his hand gently rubbing my back. “But you didn’t. You’re okay, and that’s what matters. I’m here now, okay? Big hugs, just like I promised.”

We stood there in the doorway for a long moment, neither of us saying anything, just holding each other. His presence was calming, like a warm blanket on a cold day, and slowly, the tension in my body began to melt away.

“How did you even get here?” I finally asked, pulling back just enough to look up at him.

Chan grinned, a little sheepishly. “I was already in monza for promotion, so I thought I’d come see you. Had to go incognito, though—don’t want to cause a scene.” He gestured to the mask and glasses with a small laugh.

I couldn’t help but smile, despite everything. “You really didn’t have to do that, you know. But… I’m so glad you did.”

“Of course I did. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.” His voice was soft, sincere, and it made my heart skip a beat.

“Thank you, Chan,” I whispered, leaning into his embrace once more. “You always know how to make things better.”

“Anytime, (Y/N). I’ll always be here for you.”

And in that moment, wrapped in his arms, I realized just how much he meant to me. The world outside didn’t matter—just the two of us, here, together.

With two weeks until the next race in Baku, I finally had some time to relax. Chan and I decided to escape the spotlight and spend our break in Capri, Italy—a perfect getaway where we could just be ourselves, away from the hustle and bustle of our busy lives.

Capri was everything I needed—crystal-clear waters, picturesque views, and a peaceful atmosphere. We spent our days exploring the island, walking hand-in-hand through narrow streets lined with colorful buildings, and taking boat rides around the stunning coastline. It was like a dream, and being with Chan made it even more special.

One afternoon, we found a quaint little café tucked away from the more crowded areas. The sun was shining through the vines that draped over the outdoor seating, casting dappled shadows on the cobblestone path. We settled into a cozy corner table, laughing over the silly adventures we’d had that day.

As we waited for our drinks, Chan suddenly grew quiet, a thoughtful expression on his face. I raised an eyebrow, curious about what was going through his mind.

“What’s up?” I asked, nudging him playfully.

“Just… thinking,” he replied, a small smile playing on his lips.

Before I could ask him what he was thinking about, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. Carefully, he started folding it, his fingers moving with surprising precision. I watched in fascination as the paper slowly took shape, until it became a small, delicate ring.

He looked up at me, a bit of nervousness in his eyes, and gently took my hand. “I know this isn’t much, but… I wanted to make something for you. Something to remind you that I’m always here, no matter where we are.” He slipped the paper ring onto my finger, his touch sending a warmth through me that I couldn’t quite describe.

My heart skipped a beat as I looked at the simple yet meaningful ring, and then back at Chan. “It’s perfect,” I whispered, touched by the gesture.

He took a deep breath, as if gathering his courage, and then met my eyes with a sincerity that made my heart melt. “(Y/N), I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now… Spending these days with you, away from everything, has made me realize just how much you mean to me. I don’t want to hide how I feel anymore. I love you.”

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. My heart swelled with emotion, and I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Chan… I love you too. I’ve felt this way for so long, but I didn’t know how to say it.”

His face lit up, and before I knew it, he was pulling me into a tight hug. We stayed like that for a while, holding each other close, both of us smiling like lovestruck fools.

When we finally pulled back, Chan brushed a strand of hair from my face, his eyes full of warmth and love. “This is just the beginning, you know,” he said softly. “I want to be with you, no matter what.”

I nodded, my heart full. “I want that too, Chan. Wherever this journey takes us, I’m just glad we’re in it together.”

And as we sat there in that little café in Capri, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us, wrapped in the warmth of our newfound love.

@gnabnahc

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@gnabnansc In the end

@(your_username)

@(your_username) it's him and I

Liked by @gnabnahc,miniversr.___, lilymhe,alexandrasaintmleux, alex_albon

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@lilymhe welcome home cheater

@alex_albon finally!😮‍💨

@user119 rue when was this!?

@user143 MOTHER IS THAT A MEN WITH YOU!!!!

@gnabnahc love is patient. Love is kind. Love is slowly losing your mind.

↳@lilymhe alex when I catch you alex... Why can’t you be like him?!

↳@alex_albon Not everyone can be Bang Chan. But I’m trying!

@CarlosSainz55 I LEFT YOU ALONE FOR 2 WEEKS!!

@alexandrasaintmleux pick up the phone RIGHT NOW!

@(your_username)

"I need a big boy😮‍💨"

@gnabnahc

Posted a story!

"Sometimes big boys also need passengers princess treatment"

______________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading my fanfiction! It’s my first time writing, and I really appreciate your support. If you’re interested in a part 2 or want to be tagged, just let me know. Thanks again! :3

@charizznorizz

[crystaldivination]

“𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?”

Thιs ιs ᥲ ᥣᥱttᥱr/tᥱxt from ყoᥙr most dᥱsιrᥱd ρᥱrsoᥒ

Hᥱყ bᥲbᥱs! It’s bᥱᥱᥒ ᥲ ᥕhιᥣᥱ, ᥲ qᥙιtᥱ ᥣoᥒg ᥕhιᥣᥱ bᥙt ᥒoᥕ I’m hᥱrᥱ ᥕιth ᥲ ᥒᥱᥕ ριᥴk-ᥲ-ᥴᥲrd rᥱᥲdιᥒg. Todᥲყ I brιᥒg ყoᥙ ᥲᥒothᥱr romᥲᥒᥴᥱ toριᥴ. I oρtᥱd for somᥱthιᥒg I kᥒoᥕ ყoᥙ’d ᥣιkᥱ ᥲᥒd somᥱthιᥒg thᥲt’d rᥲdιᥲtᥱ ᥣovιᥒg ᥱᥒᥱrgყ to ᥱvᥱrყoᥒᥱ ᥕho fιᥒds thιs. I hoρᥱ ყoᥙ ᥲᥣᥣ fιᥒd ιt ᥱᥒjoყᥲbᥣᥱ! Lᥱt mᥱ kᥒoᥕ hoᥕ ιt rᥱsoᥒᥲtᥱs.

⣷ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ⣷ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐒 ⣷ 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓 & 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

How to choose your pile? As always meditate or close your eyes before looking at each picture. Trust your intuition and pick out a picture you feel the most drawn to.

The piles

both rows from left -> right

© 2023 crystaldivination ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, edit, alter, or redistribute my work. Plagiarism in any form is prohibited.

1 🖤

—mყ oᥒᥱ

You! Yes, you. What are you doing? Letting your life passing by you like that… don’t make a habit of attempting to give up without even trying. Don’t you dare waste your precious time. It’s time to wake up my little honey bear. I don’t wanna see you like that. You got your passion to go after, a so amazing future ahead of you waiting for you to embrace.

Don’t you think you’re worth it? Worth your effort trying to make what you truly want happen even if you don’t know the outcome now? Because I think you are. I’m right here even if you can’t see me. You would know how frustrated I can be when you’re being so stubborn and fearful. That’s so not you, you know that *chuckle*. Where did the little fiery spirit go, hm? I get that, things are not that easy… everything used to be easier, dot dot dot but don’t you see that you’re just making it harder than it looks? What do you have to lose if you just make the first step, huh? Try it, right now! No one is standing in your way but yourself. I can speak from experience.

A not so good result? Chin up. Try it again! And again until you got the hang of it. It’s better than just living in dissatisfaction and getting by right? Master your bravery until you master your craft. Now take my hand and trust in the process. Believe in yourself and what you can. I’m always watching you from above. Don’t make me feel sad about not being able to guide you. I want you to enjoy yourself and your life. You got this! There’s nothing to worry about. Open your heart and your mind then you’ll see the magic happening right in front of you. Make a difference first and all will follow. I’m always beside you, loving and supporting you. We will find each other again. I’m the light at the end of the tunnel, always guiding you home. You’ve never lost me. You belong with me. If you miss me, look deep in your heart and you’ll see me there. Have hope my love.

────────────────────────

2 🖤

—sᥱᥲsoᥒ ᥴhᥲᥒgᥱ

It’s hard for me to say something or anything at all. I don’t know… I’m in pain right now. The darkest feelings from memories that I’ve always wanted to escape from are catching up to me. I can’t take this excruciating pain and agony anymore. People are cruel. Sometimes I ask myself if love really is out there, if it’s kind enough to wait for me to give me its sincere and beautiful magic like how they called it at all or if there’s nothing like that because if there is, would it betray me like this? What does it all mean? Is everything just love? What is love? Is it just a journey one must go to find themself again? It’s hard, it’s painful. I feel like losing myself. Why does one have to go through pain?

I can’t get these bitter feelings off of me. My world is falling apart with nothing to hold on to. You’re the one i want to avoid the most but at the end of the day I somehow always find myself holding on to you again. You’re the only one I can remember, the only one I can hold onto even if I don’t want it. The only thing I can do is to deny it so I won’t believe it but I know that’s not the truth. You’re keeping me from collapsing completely. I know it’s selfish if I say I want you to ease my pain, to take my pain away but right now you’re the only safe haven I have.

I want to be a sweet and friendly person for you but there’s all this anxiety. The horror and the fear from the past are holding me back. I’m scared. I’m scared to scare you. I’m triggered when I see your face. You need to stay out of my way. I don’t want to hurt you. I fear to make this mistake again. To trust and then being let down again. Loving you feel like a dream but I’m too unstable. What if I can’t ever get out of that dream although it’d be a beautiful thought but I’m scared to mess up. I used to have everything but you and now I have nothing but you to hold onto. Isn’t that sad or just a cliché? I do want to give you a love so pure and I want love you unconditionally but maybe love is not in it for me, maybe i just need to focus on myself. I’m just unlucky I guess, for a lack of a better word.

────────────────────────

3 🖤

—mooᥒᥣιght

I’ve been looking for you for way too long. We belong together, you and I. We're soulmates, I just know it. I know you’re right there. You’re just waiting for me like I am for you. It’s reassuring to know we both sit under the same sky looking at the same moon right? I can’t wait to meet you. I think we’re alike. You’re exactly what I’m looking for. Let me be the perfect missing puzzle to your picture and you can be the light that is shining on me. You’re my beautiful dream fever. You drive me wild and crazy.

Under the moonlight let me adore you. I can imagine your eyes sparkling when admiring the stars while I’m the one who’s admiring your beauty. Looking into your eyes must be magical. I don’t have to see through rose-colored glasses to recognize how you are the rosé world embellished with flower petals yourself that I seek. You’re a fascination to me. I can’t figure you out yet but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to know you more. I don’t actually know you but I feel like I do regardless. I don’t need to know the truth. My heart knows you’re perfect either way.

Your skin, the softness that you carry in you. I want to inhale your scent like it's some kind of drug I can’t get used to with its intensity but won’t be able to stop. You speak and understand me with all your body and soul, I know you do, thus this is why day by day I dive into you with my soul. Although my mortal eyes show and tell me something else it doesn’t matter. As long as I have you in my heart I know you’re already here with me and always. They say you’re a rare diamond that I, as an ordinary human, have no chance to earn but let me, a humble one, find you and treat you the way you’ve always deserved because you’re worthy of all good. You can decide once you see and know me if I’m worthy of your attention and love. I want to claim you as mine but not out of fear, instead I want you to claim me as yours as well.

────────────────────────

4 🖤

—thᥱ soᥙᥒd of ყoᥙ

Why are you so ridiculously beautiful? You’re so stunningly beautiful. You can do whatever you want to me, and I’ll let you. I care for you so much. You’re the softest sound from the most perfect lullaby I’ve ever known of but can’t seem to believe actually exists. I dream of you. I want to see you smile and make you happy.

Come here. I’m right here, sweetheart. I need you to stop beating yourself up. You won’t hurt yourself. You won’t give up. You can overcome anything because you’re strong. You can do it for yourself and me. Be happy and live your life to the fullest. You deserve it my little darling. You don’t know how special you are so don’t you dare lose your light because of anything or anyone trying to dim that light. Stay positive and be brave. I know you can.

Most of the times I don’t even know why my heart is longing for you. It’s like there’s an invisible draw that is pulling me towards you. A call for my other half. An important half that I feel is missing in me. Is there a chance that I’ve known you before because I feel like knowing you without knowing you before. You open up memories in me that I’ve never seen before but they are telling me they exist deep in my mind and were forgotten for a very long time. Do you believe in destiny? I don’t but I might get convinced.

With me you don’t have to be tough all the time or pretend to be. I can love you for who you are with all your strengths and weaknesses. If you’re really the right one for me and that can only my heart tells, I’ll love you with all that my heart can offer. And I promise you, I will stick around as long as I can. I won’t let you down.

Now wait for you? I can do that. Even if the world ends tomorrow my will would stay strong. I want to be able to see and touch you. I’m confused but this is somehow a good feeling. What do you say? I think I’m not ready for our union yet but I might get surprised by the universe by what it is conspiring for us, I guess?

♡ PS. to my followers who participated in my latest game — due to personal matters i won’t be able to answer your asks any time soon but I’ll try to queue them whenever I can. I apologize for the delay.

— you’ve reached the end of this post, thanks for reading!

signed, crystal.

[soapssuds]

Infinity

Yandere ! Gojo Satoru x Female ! Reader

fem!gojo x male!reader ( requested by @shjejkwk )

Part 18 | one and only

Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Infinity Masterlist

“You’re as loving as ever, Sayu,” y/n said with a laugh, his eyes holding a sort of warmth in them that Gojo didn’t realize was even possible.

GOJO SAYU was ultimately flabbergasted when she realized she was reincarnated as a girl this time, but thought nothing of it when it didn’t change a single thing. If she was a man or a woman or if y/n was a woman or a man. It didn’t matter. None of it did.

But to exist at the same time as y/n? That’s what really mattered to Gojo.

Gojo clung tightly onto y/n’s arm, her chest pressing into his bicep as they walked the bustling streets.

“I’m only showing you how much I love you!”

What Gojo also liked was that it was seen as normal and cute when a girl clung to another like this. When Gojo was a man, he did have to admit it was a bit harder to show affection. Y/n patted her head, “and how should I show my own affection huh?”

That was another thing. It was incredibly easy to end up with y/n in this life than any other.

Gojo paused as she thought for a moment before breaking out into a big smile, “I require multiple kisses when we get home!”

Y/n bent down and kissed her forehead, “whatever you want, sweetheart.”

Gojo had to admit that being babied and cherished like a princess all the time felt way too good. Gojo thinks she finally understands while other girls always giggled and twirled their hair so much when they see their crush. And throughout the rest of the day, Gojo couldn’t help but to look forward to getting to have y/n all to herself when they get home.

Though, despite their happy life so far, Sayu knew, deep down, that this wouldn’t be their happy ending either. Not that she minded, they had a lifetime together after all, but she did wonder about some things.

“Hey, y/n?”

“Hmm,” he looked down at Sayu.

“Do you think we had a past life together?”

They were walking by a river now, heading home from their walk in the town.

“What makes you ask that?”

“I don’t know, I was just curious.”

Y/n thought for a moment, his expression turning thoughtful as he gave the question some serious thought, “not sure, but there is always a possibility.”

“Do you think we knew each other? Maybe even together?”

Y/n patted her head again, “I sure hope we weren’t.”

“Huh?! Why would you say that?!”

Y/n held up his hands in defense when Sayu let go of his arm, “because then what would make this life special? I don’t know about you, but I want a life where I’m with you, not some alternate version of you. I want the original. The one and only.”

Sayu’s anger was quick to dissipate at his explanation as she started to smile, “you know, I couldn’t have said it better myself… maybe we should start over then?”

“Start over?”

Sayu shook her head as she decided to enjoy this life a little while longer, “don’t worry about it, let’s just get home.”

Sayu clung to his arm once again as y/n chuckled lightly, “you’re so weird.”

Sayu elbowed him swiftly.

“You really know what to say,” Gojo said as he closed his eyes and leaned back into her couch.

“I know what to say,” y/n said nervously as she fiddled with the sleeves of her shirt. Her heart was racing a mile a minute. She honestly didn’t know what she was even saying, but it felt right to say at the time. But now… she feels that she just made it awkward-

“Yeah,” Gojo leaned his head back up, his eyes watching her carefully, “can I ask you something?”

Y/n nodded.

“Can I kiss you?”

Y/n froze on the spot. Her fingers stopped fiddling with her sleeves, her eyes stopped blinking, and her heart came to a screeching halt.

“k- k- kiss?!”

She felt the couch dip right next to her, Gojo had slid over next to her so that their bodies were touching.

“Yeah, just a little one.”

His hand reached up to play with a strand of her hair, “you don’t have to say-“

“Yes, please!”

He paused to look at her and she could immediately feel how her face erupted into red, hot flames. Her face practically scorching herself.

“I- I mean, yes,” her voice wobbled out, “you can kiss me,” she tried to say without sounding desperate.

But Gojo could already see right through her when he cupped her cheek with his hand and pulled her face to look at him, but she was already shutting her eyes tight, her lips slightly trembling.

“So cute,” he muttered as he leant down.

She could feel his lips gently press against her own, it was like a featherlight touch. Soft with a tenderness she never felt before. But Gojo didn’t press down any harder, and the feel of his lips against her own was quick to disappear.

Slowly opening her eyes, she was met with his own. And when she finally looked at him, he smiled, “that wasn’t so bad, huh? You act like I’m going to eat you whole.”

She could feel her cheeks grow hot, “s- sorry,” she mentally cursed herself for stuttering.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” he said and just as he was about to let go, she held onto him. The action causing him to pause and look at her again.

“Can we… kiss again?”

If she was looking at his face, then she would be able to see his cheshire like grin, “only if you initiate this time,” he teased, and instead of making it easier for her to kiss him he decided to lean back and move away from her slightly.

His actions causing her heart to stutter, her legs becoming wobbly, and her hands becoming all sweaty. But she wanted to kiss him again.

So she carefully went over to him. She was sitting up on her knees as she felt the couch dip as she got closer to him, Laying one hand on his shoulder to steady herself, she lifted her other hand to his face just as she had done to her and gently turned his head to look at her. Then, pressing her thumb into his chin to tilt his head down, she leant into him. Her chest pressing against his shoulder as she let her mouth press against his firmly. It wasn’t as featherlight as his kiss was, but she didn’t want to forget the feeling of how his lips felt.

So, she slotted her lips against his.

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[tiredistic]

I made a voice note post a while ago and here's the detailed voice note description, basically what was said lmao

Cady: Hey Regina! I know your "busy" partying but I wanted to share some interesting facts!

Regina: What, make it quick I'm in the middle of something.

Cady: I wanna talk about math! oh, math. the beautiful language of the universe. it's everywhere, in everything, and yet we barely give it the attention it deserves! math is the bedrock upon which the world is built, the thread that weaves through the fabric of reality. Theres just so much to explore and uncover. From the elegance of calculus to the patterns of geometry, every aspect of mathematics is like a treasure waiting to be discovered. Gosh, No wonder it's often referred to as the queen of all sciences!

Cady: However, Janis has been saying "So sigma!" and "sigma Ohio baby gronk a lot recently!" Don't even get me started on sigma. I mean, what is up with the whole "sigma male" thing? seriously, it's a Math symbol and Greek letter, for crying out loud! how can something so cool and useful be turned into a meme? it's like making Einstein a meme, ridiculous! it's like people are missing the point entirely. don't get me wrong, I understand the reference of the sigma being the lone wolf and all, but it just seems like a lazy attempt to romanticize being an introvert.

Regina: stfu.

Cady: I know damn well you didn't just type "stfu," why didn't you do that last night huh Regina? You know what happens when you open that pretty mouth of yours and say things you shouldn't, don't you? I might just have to put it to better use, shutting you up real good. so why don't you just be a good girl and listen k?If you don't apologize right now i'll come over there and shut you up myself, promise.

Regina: Im sorry Cady, i'll never say Shut the fuck up again. please forgive me.

[peanutbutterwrites]

desperation - part two

warnings: drug use, depression, trauma, angst, eluded sexual trauma summary: after the embarrassment that was your first true crush, you realize the truth of people's feelings. the bitch always wins after all. word count: 3.0 k -disclaimer- this is in no way representing people in real life, I respect enhypen as artists and simply wanted to use them in a story. all circumstances are fake.

part one

a/n - sorry this took literally forever. I know it's not super long nor is it the ending that the anon in my ask box asked for, but I just couldn't bring myself to write a happy ending for this one. it just didn't flow well with the characters I had developed and I really love angst for this one. I hope you guys still enjoy this highly anticipated part two and thank you so so much for the support!

THE DAYS FOLLOWING WERE UNEVENTFUL TO SAY THE LEAST. stagnation. that was the only word that could come close to the immobility you found yourself rotting in. phone left unanswered with dozens of text messages and missed calls. ironically, this was the most tangible evidence of attention you could ever remember receiving. you would have been over the moon under any other circumstances, but you had no place for joy in your numb mind.

the only positive that had come out of your horror story was the apparent courage you had gained against mina. though, that perceived courage of you finally ignoring her was better described as an all encompassing apathy you had gained against the world itself. the days and nights melted into each other and even giselle had learned to leave you alone. one person, however, had not.

“hey, what the hell you can’t be in the female dorm!” outcries could be heard from outside your room that you had finally taken full control of. a good thing to note for the future was if you let your side of the room get even more disgusting than giselle kept hers, she would leave in favor of studying in the common space or library. 

“whatever, like you’re gonna do anything.” the second voice rang with an ache of familiarity that had you hiding your head further into the covers. the door to your room swung open with protests coming from giselle before a scoff and multiple complaints of disgust rang through. “geeze, how you can live like this I don’t understand.” your comforter was violently tugged and was met with the first signs of life from you in a while, cries of gripe. “oh come on, this is pathetic.” with one large and final tug, the comforter came off with a sweep causing you to whither into yourself. your eyes were shut tight in attempt to block out the very sudden and very bright intrusion of the sunlight. “I’m serious girl, get yourself together.” you peeked your face out to make eye contact with a very irritated looking sunoo. 

“huh.” was the only sound that you could produce. you had known of course that that voice could only belong to one person, but the fact that he had come all the way here in person, for you, was still dawning. 

“really? huh bitch, what have you been doing?” sunoo said with a scoff. “I think we’re all good and then you don’t text back, or pick up my calls, just leaving us high and dry?” your eyes were wide and unblinking, still putting together than someone was genuinely worried for you. “well?” he crossed his arms and plopped down on the end of your bed, clearly waiting for a response. 

“I,” you began, wondering how you were going to explain what happened to sunoo without sounding insane, “I was tired.” you finally settled on, turning back onto your side. sunoo sighed, making his frustration with you apparent, but you still weren’t in the mood to care. 

“did something happen? you left really suddenly with only sunghoon that night.” you froze, the embarrassment of your behavior still fresh in your mind. but the embarrassment wasn’t what sunoo was focused on evidently. “OH MY GOSH,” he jumped abruptly, grabbing your shoulders and forcing you upright, “did he hurt you?” the genuine concern in his eyes that you were now forced to look at rocked you. it shocked you to your core and brought forward all the emotions you had been suppressing for an unknown amount of time at this point. to your endless mortification, tears flooded your vision and you clutched sunoo’s arms. “why didn’t you tell me?” you shook your head violently, not caring that you could suddenly see giselle’s presence from this position. you allowed sunoo to hold you and pet your hair, shushing you quietly as he patiently waited for you to finish. “goddamnit, you got me going soft on you now.” you couldn’t help but let out a pitiful laugh and attempt to clean your face of salty tears. “tell me whats going on, now.” you took a deep breath, attempting to explain out loud what had happened.

“it wasn’t sunghoon,” still reeling from sobbing, you had to take another breath, “it was ni-ki.” sunoo’s eyebrows shot up and he froze.

“really? look, I know he’s an asshole, but he’s really not the type to force himself on someone. I’d never doubt you, it just seems out of character.” sunoo explained carefully, as he took a piece of your hair and moved it away from your face.

“no, he didn’t force himself on me.” you explained with some difficulty what you had witnessed between him and mina that night. you had expected sunoo to be there for you instantly, but he was always surprising you after all.

“I’m gonna be honest with you right now,” he said coldly, and you paused uncomfortably, “that’s ridiculous.” your heart and rising hopes dropped immediately.

“you wouldn’t understand.” sunoo let out a boisterous laugh at that making you shrink back into yourself. 

“understand why you like to torture yourself? yeah that’s right, I don’t understand that.” 

“I can’t control who I like sunoo.”

“that’s a bullshit answer to all this.” you angrily snapped your head to quip a comeback, but the words died in your throat when no anger or harshness was present in sunoo’s appearance at all. “I mean seriously, look around. you’re a mess, your room’s a mess, I had to physically drag you out of bed. I mean come on, have you even been eating?” like a bucket of cold water, you were snapped out of all your fiery emotions. “that’s what I mean. sure I feel bad for you for liking that guy of all people, but the way you handle it is pathetic.” with your mind still moving slowly, most likely due to the lack of nourishment and sleep, sunoo only sighed and began working on your room. he picked up clothes, got laundry together, and even forced giselle to help him collect trash all while you sat on bed. eyes staring forward, unmoving, you allowed your mind to churn while sunoo went on and on with his motivational speech. “you know what, you’re getting out tonight.” your thoughts snapped back to sunoo and your eyes focused once again. you looked around, your room was clean. “just come hang out with us, you need to leave this room.” your eyes remained wandering as you took in the new condition of the dorm room, it hadn’t been this clean since move in day. 

“I’m not sure I have a choice.” with that sunoo gave you a sweet and smile and pushed you towards the shower, giving you the time you needed to wash up. it was soothing, taking a hot shower after disregarding that need for a while. it made you feel more human. your hair routine took time, but you did it meticulously for the first time in a while. sunoo watched as you applied your makeup and picked out your outfit silently, he offered words of encouragement and expressed his opinion on different outfits, but that was about it. “you ready?” all you could offer was a nod before you began to follow him, waving a quiet goodbye to giselle. 

“where are you going?” you had to admit her voice had a bit of a grip on you. you hadn’t spoken a word to her since the incident. it caused you to pause momentarily before sunoo gripped your arm gently. 

“nowhere.” she scoffed.

“what do you mean nowhere?” you took a deep breath before focussing your energy on sunoo’s support.

“it’s none of your business mina. I’m going out, with my friend.” out of the corner of your eye you saw sunoo smile affectionately with approval. mina looked shocked, she had yet to witness this side of you. but you didn’t give her any satisfaction of an apology or any more of your time. grabbing sunoo this time, you pulled him towards the door and signaled it was time to leave. once you had left the dorm completely, you were met with a tight warm hug from sunoo and a warmer feeling in your chest.

------------------------------ + -------------------------------

on the drive to the beach you were apparently going too, you and sunoo sat in silence. you were deep in thought about mina and your friendships in general. at the end of this whole mess, at least you knew you had a friend in sunoo. when you had arrived, there was already a sunset and a bonfire being started in the distance. you could make out the six figures of the other boys, meaning the whole friend group was already here.

“are you sure it’s okay to barge in like this?” sunoo scoffed.

“you aren’t barging in if you’re my friend.” you offered him a small smile and he gave you a pat on the head. making your way to the group, you wiped your sweaty palms on your t-shirt and gulped down the last bit of nervous bile. you could hear tumultuous laughter ringing throughout the beach and couldn’t help but smile when you could distinguish jake’s boyish laughter from the others. the only give away that something had occurred was the slight silence of some of the boys, but most of the excited reactions you got distracted from that. jake, of course, jumped up and tackled you with a large hug. 

“where have you been? you disappeared for a minute.” he said, jokingly while punching your shoulder. you laughed a little awkwardly, stating you just fell into a funk. they beckoned you into the circle and brought out beers and blankets. you ended up sitting curled up next to sunoo and jungwon, ni-ki going completely ignored. truthfully, you didn’t know how to handle him. so despite the daggers he was glaring at you, you remained eyes trained on all six other boys. you guys fell into a casual conversation with lots of laughter, save for ni-ki, still sending a stone cold glare your way. you shivered uncomfortably under his gaze, with sunoo noticing. 

“you cold?” you couldn’t think of a good alternative, so you nodded in agreeance. sunoo simply opened his blanket and helped scooch you into his lap. shaking away the initial uncomfortableness of the position, you relaxed into him and began to laugh with the other boys again. despite your comfort, ni-ki’s glare continued to to pierce you and make you shift in your seat.

“okay dude, just stop.” everyone went silent as sunoo suddenly interrupted. his voice was irritated and you tensed up immediately, never hearing this tone from sunoo before, even in your dorm room. he glared back at ni-ki and you knew the subject of his sudden outburst. 

“something wrong?” he responded with that cocky, deep voice. sunoo scoffed.

“just leave her alone, you got what you wanted didn’t you?” ni-ki took a deep breath out of his cigarette, and kept that cold face. the only sign of movement was his heel unconsciously bouncing on the sand. it unnerved you, but sunoo didn’t seem fazed. 

“i'm serious ni-ki, take your problems out on someone else.” he froze at that and instantly put out his cig. he dusted his pants off and stood up quickly, everyone else seemed rooted in place. 

“come on.” he said offering his hand to you, but you stayed still. he let out a frustrated huff and grabbed your wrist harshly, hauling you up and out of your seat. sunoo was quick to your aid, but ni-ki brushed him off pulling you farther down the beach and towards the water. the other boys seemed to jump up but were hesitant to do anything to actually stop ni-ki. as he dragged you down the beach, you stumbled behind him kicking up sand and scratching your feet on the occasional rock causing tears to spring to your eyes. finally fed up after minutes of him lugging you around, you yanked your arm out of his hand.

“okay what do you want? what did I ever do to you?” 

“what did you do to me?” he asked in a threatening voice. the scene reminded you of a lamb wandering into a wolfs den and had you retreating into yourself. “you exist. that’s enough. the way you walk and talk, like you constantly need validation, don’t you know how infuriating that is for everyone around you?” trying to back away from the harsh words, you moved to get away, but he grabbed both of your forearms and held you tightly in place. “no, you don’t get to ignore this and act like its another thing I’ve done to you. you may have sunoo fooled but I know you. you act like everything is everyone else's fault, when its yours. its your fault.” at this point tears were streaming down your face and hiccups were beginning to get caught in your throat. your biggest fears were being shouted at you and you couldn’t pretend like they didn’t exist. 

“why, are you doing this?” you managed to get out between hiccups and sobs. “why waste your energy?”

“see there it is!” he yelled exasperated. “till the very end you’re acting like this is my fault, its yours goddamnit! you make yourself such an easy target, grow up!” at this you completely broke down. sobs racking your body, your knees buckling causing you to fall into the sand and bring ni-ki down with you. snot ran down your nose and your breathing was completely uncontrollable. “hey, hey, hey. I’m sorry. look, it's okay.” his movements switched to frantic and tried to pull you into a hug despite your constant shoving. eventually, he overpowered your weak last bits of strength and wrapped you into his arms forcefully. pinning you to him, he rocked you back and forth and hushed you softly. petting your hair down, he mumbled apologies over and over.

“i’ll make it up to you okay.” your sobs turned into sniffles and you all you were left with was confusion. 

“ni-ki” you said softly to make him stop talking. “I just don’t understand, why are you doing this?” at this he froze and you felt his jaw tense up. 

“I’ll fuck you okay, will that make you stop?” you twisted in his arms and tried to look at his eyes, but he turned his head quickly and looked out towards the waves instead. “it’s how I know how to make things right okay, so don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry I took my anger out on you, okay?” 

“why are you angry?” he ignored you question and tensed his jaw up again instead of responding. “ni-ki, just help me understand.” his head snapped angrily towards you and you watched a flash of anger but also hurt pass through his eyes. 

“there’s no point. either fuck me and leave, or just leave.” speechless, you were moving before your brain could comprehend your emotions. shoving him off of you, you jumped up abruptly and walked away, leaving him sitting in the sand. you had finally realized, none of it actually mattered. you could be as sweet as possible and still no one would like you. you could try as hard as you wanted to make everyone happy, but in reality everyone, including you, hated you. as you made your way back to the group, tears were still wet on your face but anger and understanding solidified your decision. 

“hey, you okay?” sunoo was the first to ask, but you ignored in favor of grabbing your stuff and forcing his car keys into his hand.

“take me home now or I’m driving your car.” shocked, sunoo jumped to run after you as you stormed away and unlocked the car. jumping in, you turned to him.

“you know what, I’m tired of being fucking quiet. It’s better to just run my mouth like mina and be a bitch, at least people shut the fuck up then.” quietly, stunned, sunoo shifted the car into drive and peeled away from the curb. looking out into the almost completely snuffed out sun, your mind was made up. 

so what if you aren’t special, just act like it.

[emmyspov]

Four times he wasn't sure + 1 time he was (Aragorn x Reader)

author's note: ahh, this is finally done! i started it last year but then uni and work got in the way so it took me until now to finish it. i'm super excited about this honestly, and i hope some of you will feel just as happy reading it. if enough people are interested, i have thought about writing a part two already, like "four times reader wasn't sure + 1 time they were" - what do you think? as always, i tried to keep reader's looks etc. really vague, if there is something you think can be adjusted to make it even more inclusive, please let me know!

warnings: english isn't my first language, mentions of blood, war, death, canon lotr fights, let me know if i forgot something :)

word count: 2.4 k (I think that's the longest fic i've written!)

gif by @dunderklumpen

The first time

"What were you thinking, Strider?", you hissed as the man sat down next to you at the campfire.

"Going out there all by yourself, with no backup. What if a herd of orcs had found you, huh? What then?"

Aragorn could tell you were mad.

"You could have been killed!"

He wasn't even sure if that alone was enough to describe the intense emotions you were displaying right now.

"Darling, I-"

You cut him off. "I don't want to hear it, Aragron. This was dangerous. Something bad could have happened to you."

He hated this. He hated how your voice wavered, either with anger or fear or both. He wanted to see that pretty smile back on your face.

"I can take care of myself."

You took a deep breath. You knew he was right. After all, he was a Ranger from the north who's been riding through the wild all by himself for years, keeping others and himself safe.

Aragorn could tell that something had changed in your demeanor. The wild gesturing of your hands slowed down and your eyes had softened again.

"I know you can", you started as you fumbled around with your hands. "But... What I've been trying to say is that I worry. All the time, about everyone and everything. And when I realised that you were the only one gone from the group and out there without anyone who could help you in case of an attack, something inside me flipped. My worry for you was clouding any rational judgement."

You fell silent for a moment.

"You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Aragorn. I'm sorry I raised my voice at you. I am just asking, begging you, please don't shut me out. Let me help you carry this weight. You don't have to be the lone ranger any longer. Allow me to take care of you. Let me in."

The crownless king was, quite literally, speechless. Your words had knocked the air out of his lungs.

Would your reaction have been the same if had been Legolas or Boromir who strayed away from the group? He wasn't sure. But then again, it didn't really matter. You cared about him. So much that you became sick with worry when the possibility of something bad happening to him arose.

The thought alone brought a smile to his face, making the skin crinkle around his eyes.

You would never get enough of that sight.

"I promise, I will try my very best to do exactly that", Aragon answered before he paused, thinking about whether he should make you an offer or not. He decided to take the risk. "Maybe, next time, you could accompany me."

Your eyes lit up and he knew he made the right decision. "I would love to."

His chest felt light.

The second time

You've always been someone who gave people their privacy. After all, you didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable around you, but the way you saw Aragorn struggle right this moment made you second guess that decision.

He could feel your eyes on him. He knew you were watching him and yet, he didn't want to take the first step. He hated to be a burden which was exactly the reason why he wasn't going to ask you for help.

Maybe Legolas would assist him with applying the ointment on his back, or maybe- his train of thoughts came to a halt.

He promised you.

He promised he'd do his best to let you in, let you take care of him.

Instead of calling out your name, his eyes locked with yours and he silently pleaded you'd understand.

You did. Of course you did.

With just a few steps, you were standing next to the man, resulting in him letting out a sigh of relief.

His hair was wet from bathing in the lake closeby and the dirt that was usually decorating his face had also been washed away.

"Do you need any help?"

He's sure that he never heard a voice as sweet as yours, basically dripping with kindness.

He nodded. "If you don't mind."

A smile graced your features. "Not when it comes to you, my king."

You took the small container from Aragon's hand which was filled with ointment, made by Elrond to help heal wounds and relieve some pain.

You gestured for the ranger to sit down in front of you and he dropped to his knees without hesitation, his bare back to you.

You scooped up a bit of the tincture. "I apologise for my cold hands", you whispered before gently applying it to the ranger's skin.

He shuddered as soon as your fingers touched him and he tried to convince himself the goosebumps that arose on his skin were caused by the cold, not you.

You could feel Aragorn melt into your touch. His breath evened out and for a second, you even thought he had fallen asleep which was, truly, the only reason you started to trace over some old scars on his back, careful not to cause the ranger any pain.

"They don't hurt", he suddenly spoke and you flinched.

"I- My apologies, I didn’t... think, know- I-" You let out a huff of embarrassment, causing the crownless king to chuckle slightly.

A peaceful silence fell over you while you continued to rub the balm into Aragorn's shoulders and down his back, making sure to not only treat his more recent wounds.

"Where did you get this one", you carefully asked as you caressed a scar on his upper back.

And so, the ranger started to tell you the first story of many about life in the wilderness while you took care of him.

Both of you pretended not to notice when your lips brushed his skin every time he finished an anecdote of his life.

Even if that had been his last evening in middle earth, Aragorn would have been content. He got to spend it with you.

The third time

He didn't know how you did it. How you, despite of all the running, fighting and extreme weather conditions, managed to look absolutely breathtaking.

It was unfair, really.

Not that something as simple as one's looks impressed Aragorn, no.

It was just you he liked to look at because all he could think about were your beautiful brain and warm heart whenever his eyes fell on you.

It was his turn to stay up and keep watch of the fellowship's campsite, making sure they'd get through the night without an incident.

It was a calm night, there was no danger to be seen and although the crownless king stayed alert of their surroundings, he couldn't help but let his eyes drift to you every once in a while.

He was glad you were finally getting some well deserved rest after everything that has happened so far.

As if you could feel somebody watching you, you woke up. Keeping still, you checked the area around you without a single turn of your head.

Aragorn was keeping the night watch and you immediately felt a wave of calm wash over you. If he was sitting around so comfortably, you knew you could feel safe.

But then again, you also felt sorry for the ranger. Although he was running from his destiny, he had made it his mission to keep the whole fellowship safe and alive which was quite the heavy burden to carry.

You could see it, too. His tired eyes or the way at least one part of his body was always tense, ready to fight.

You let out a soft sigh and got up from your sleeping mat, quietly walking over to the man as you tried not to disturb the others.

"Y/N", he spoke softly, "Go back to sleep. You will need the rest."

Instead of answering, you plopped down next to him, his arm brushing yours.

"I can't lay down, pretending not to see you doubt yourself, even at night when everyone else entrusts you with everything they have. You think too much, Aragorn. Let that head of yours come to a rest."

Maybe it was the intimacy of the dark, but when you gestured for him to lay his head in your lap, he didn't fight it. Not for too long, anyway. There was some hesitation, but you looked too warm and too comfortable for him to miss out on this opportunity.

A sigh of relief left his lips as his head made contact with your thighs, the rest of his body turning into a ball.

A rare moment of vulnerability.

You were fighting your own urges for a while before finally letting your heart take over and bringing your fingers up to his head.

Carefully, you started to brush through the ranger's dark curls, removing any small knots along the way.

After a moment of fear that you might have overstepped his boundaries, your heart immediately felt lighter when you noticed him practically melting into your touch while he let out a relaxed groan.

"Does that feel good?"

Aragorn hummed and you smiled to yourself, deciding to go all in.

Your hands moved up his head, gently scratching his scalp for quite some time before massaging his temples.

You've never seen the ranger so blissed out.

Aragorn, on the other hand, couldn't remember the last time he felt so at peace. Your hands were like heaven in his hair and he wondered how they would feel holding his own hands in times of difficulty or against his cheeks while leaning in for a kiss.

He let himself indulge in those fantasies, not putting an end to them, despite the fact you weren't his.

When all this was over, he decided, he would ask you to stay with him.

The fourth time

The next time, there wasn't even hesitation. When you reunited with the man after the battle of Helm's Deep and saw him covered in blood - which wasn't his own, he assured you - you immediately pulled him aside, your hands cupping his face.

"Aragorn", you breathed and leaned your forehead against his.

"It is not over yet, Y/N", he replied as he took your hands, gently squeezing them.

"I feared for that, but let us celebrate this win. For now, let us take pride in the fact that evil did not win. There is still hope."

He grinned. "You are using my words against me, my darling."

"Someone has to", you mused, "otherwise you will never realise the power behind your words. And now sit down and let me clean your face before the blood dries completely."

He followed your instructions without any complaints.

You grabbed a bowl of water and a clean enough cloth and kneeled down in front of the king.

If it had been anyone else, you might have felt vulnerable or disrespected, but not in this situation.

You dipped the piece of fabric into the warm water before bringing it up to the king's face, gently wiping the blood off of his cheek.

His eyes were fixed on you. He wasn't sure how anyone could look so beautiful while being so focused. The urge to ease the tension between your eyebrows bubbled up in his chest and he desperately wanted to kiss that exact spot. But he couldn't. You weren't his and he still wasn't sure if you wanted to be.

Your voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Stop me if this is inappropriate, my king", you murmured after you had stood up and were now mere inches away from his face, brushing his hair back to clean his forehead.

He gulped, trying to ignore how nice you smelt, even during times of war and blood and how the use of his title didn't make him uncomfortable when you said it.

"No, this is nice", Aragorn finally replied and mentally scolded himself for sounding so unsure.

When you were done cleaning his face, you put the bowl down and turned back around to him.

"I can get you some more water if you wish to remove the blood from your chest."

He didn't want you to leave, but it would be selfish to ask you to stay when there were others who might need your assistance, so he shook his head.

"I am well enough, thank you for your help."

You tilted your head, eyes locking with his.

"You are too stubborn for your own good", you sighed. "Go and prepare what you have to, let us help the others, but tonight", you pointed at his chest, "tonight, we'll take a look at your torso."

Aragorn tried to surpress his smirk, failing miserably. "Yes, your majesty."

You rolled your eyes, a fond smile on your lips.

+1

The fight was over.

Aragorn wasn't sure how to feel when all he's ever really known was blood and war and his own swords clashing against the enemys' weapons.

But it was over.

The ring had been destroyed and by some miracle, most of the good ones had made it out alive, you included.

His heart felt suddenly very heavy as his eyes landed on your form, not knowing how you envisioned your future now that the quest had been completed.

Your eyes found his and without thinking, you ran over to the king, throwing your arms around his neck.

"We won, Aragorn", you whispered into his ear and hugged the man even tighter.

It was hard to ignore the happiness bubbling up in his chest as he felt your body against his and the joy in your voice in his ears.

"My darling", he whispered and your heart skipped a beat, "stay with me. Stay by my side and let us, together, create a world of peace for the people now and the generations that will follow."

You stared at him, not believing your own ears.

Aragorn understood your silence as reluctance and took a step back.

"It seems I have misunderstood the situation when I believed you wanted to be mine as well, I apologise for the-"

Your lips crashed against his.

"No, my king." You let out a breath of relief. "It was me who did not believe your heart could want me in that way. For as long as you want me, you will have me. I'm eternally yours."

This time it was Aragorn who pressed his lips against yours, making you lose your mind with a single gesture.

"Aye, took the lad long enough to make his move", Gimli said and looked up at the elf who eyed his new-found friend.

"I told you though. They would end up together eventually."

Just like destiny intended.

[sonniemon]

syudou feat.Hatsune Miku - Amazing Happy Halloween Night (English Translation + MV Analysis)

アメイジングハッピーハロウィンナイト/syudou

SONG LINK: https://youtu.be/CeqLqlr5ba4?si=9Yafq_kn4HAkn4LZ

Obsessed with the visuals and storytelling of this song, yasutatsu really outdid themselves and I love the character designs (not to mention the major amazing digital circus vibes hahah)

Anyways, I tried my hand at translating the song, I’ve also included the character profiles and my other rambling thoughts below

-

Song Translation

Before I knew it, I was standing in a world I didn’t recognise 

Without even knowing my location, day after, day after day after day I cried

There’s no time to lose

Happy Time! Funny faces are pulled

Happy Time! And jokes are made

Happy Time! Stuck in this absurdity 

Both hope and fear melt away

If I remember correctly 

There’s a job that I’m supposed to do

A loving home…

Pump…kin head….gear [1]

But for some reason I can’t find a reason to care

Come now, the night of dreams has begun

The cheerful music reverberates and doesn’t cease

Shout it with me now, today is—

An amazing happy halloween night!

Jack-o’-lanterns, pranks, anything goes, it's an all out party!

Even if you live earnestly it won’t amount to anything

Here anything is possible, why you ask?

Because today is an amazing happy halloween night!

It’s long gone! It’s long gone!

I already told you there’s no exit, and there won’t ever be one

It’s long gone! It’s long gone!

Ideologies, rules and morals have no bearing here

In this amazing happy halloween night!

“I am not a robot”

Is the box you click without a second thought, however…

Is that really the truth?

Happy Life! Oh well, just listen to the music

Happy Life! And dance in an erratic way

Happy Life! Trapped in these repeated movements

I lose my ability to even doubt it anymore 

Without a will of my own

I’m nothing more than a lobotomised electric sheep 

A nightmare NPC

But for some reason, like this, I feel at ease

(What the f%#k!?)

Oops, appears your voice has become distorted 

Worry not, everyone

I’ll sew their mouth right back up

Amazing happy halloween night!

Good children’s mouths are full of chocolate and candy

If you don’t speak your mind clearly then we won’t understand [2]

Now pull yourselves together everyone, and sing—

Amazing happy halloween night!

I found out! I found out!

I found out! I found out!

I found out! I found out!

I came to understand the truth to it all

And that’s exactly why I don’t wanna acknowledge any of it

Come now, the night of dreams has begun

The cheerful music reverberates and doesn’t cease

Shout it with me now, today is—

An amazing happy halloween night!

Jack-o’-lanterns, pranks, anything goes, it’s an all out party!

Even if you live earnestly it won’t amount to anything

Here anything is possible, why you ask?

Because today is an amazing happy halloween night!

I cried and cried! I cried and cried!

I must’ve tried real hard to kid myself huh?

I cried and cried! I cried and cried!

There will be no end to this party

Amazing happy halloween night!

[1] - Pumpkin in katakana starts with パン ‘Pan’ this is the protags name so this could be how they got it

[2] - 歯に衣着せぬ means to be outspoken however syudou has changed one of the kanji to ‘silk’ 歯に絹着せて so I think he’s going for some kind of pun about their teeth being made of silk? I’m not really sure

-

Character Profiles

Yasutatsu posted the character profiles on their twitter (link to post) so I’ll go over them here

A: Pan - Negative. Wants to go home asap.

B: Up - Found Pan when they were lost and helped guide them back. Mood maker.

C: Socket - Looks cute but they have a wicked tongue. They wear the food scrap on their head as a form of fashion

D: Iris - Can see the unseen. Has sharp ears.

E: Quiver - Will help you out if you’re in trouble. Dislikes being touched.

F: Easter - A highly cautious rabbit. Folds clothes beautifully.

G: Taurus - Strong on the outside but sensitive on the inside. Is often bothered by Socket’s abusive words.

H: Jolly - Elusive and always smiling. Loves jokes.

-

MV Analysis

The mv is packed with cool details so I’m just going to ramble about the whole thing here.

My interpretation of the song is that Pan was brought to the amazing happy halloween night world after putting on a VR headset. This is supported by the black bars on the top and bottom being slightly curved, resembling what it looks like when you’re playing a VR game. Also the lyric ‘pumpkin headgear’.

At the very start of the mv, you can see this text which kind of looks like a program boot screen.

What’s even more interesting about this background though is that it is the exact same rooms as seen in Bitter Choco Decoration. Why? I have no idea hahah.

Also!! A commenter pointed out that this exact background is seen in In the Back Room too, but with different coloured lights. In the backrooms mv this view is shown to be from a surveillance camera, so now I’m thinking that these rooms could each be for different experiments? And the protags from these three songs are in different ones.

After completing the captcha’s for syudou, Yasutatsu and Miku, Pan is brought into the world. And from the very start something is already amiss as the side of the screen is distorted and a little virus guy can be seen in the window. He can be spotted throughout the whole mv but is most prominent at the end.

Pan sits at a table and its set the same way as bitter choco, yes I know this is a common way to set a fancy table but after the previous bitter choco reference I think this one is also intentional hdhsj

Eyes can be seen in the sky. These are the same eyes on the jacket for the song itself and they very much resemble Jolly’s eyes, implying that he is watching over everything. At this point in the video he also appears explicitly to distract Pan from thinking too hard about who they really are. Hi dee ho!

The chorus hits and from what I understand NPC streams are definitely being referenced here lmao. The characters move in repetitive movements and the lyrics pop up as messages along the side, imitating the commands the viewers are giving. The falling gingerbread men and candy also resembles a donation system (like the one on twitcast for example)

Jolly and Pan are the only ones that don’t participate in the dance, and at this point it’s pretty easy to gather that Jolly is the one leading the show and isn’t like the rest of the characters.

Oh, that’s where Pan went. They were off trying to find an exit. But obviously there isn’t one.

Jolly makes Pan answer an ��Are you a robot” captcha, oh sorry, I mean CABOCHA. Translator’s note: kabocha means pumpkin.

And this is where the real ‘plot’ of this world kicks in. It seems like they’re forced to complete captcha’s all day and Pan is desperately trying to prove that they’re human. Desperately trying to stay human. And well, by the end we see how that worked out.

Then we get this really cool sequence of Jolly trying to coax Pan into becoming an NPC. And I’m about 86% sure the line ‘I’m nothing more than a lobotomised electric sheep’ is a ‘Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?’ reference but I haven’t actually read the book so can’t really say.

Pan doesn’t give in to the brainwashing just yet though and rips the pumpkin TV off their head, yelling “What the f#%k!?” A very digital circus moment.

Jolly breaks the fourth wall and acknowledges the swearing. Saying he’ll sew Pan’s mouth up. When this happens the captcha changes to “Select the images you wish to edit” and Jolly picks all the tiles with Pan’s mouth. Stitches appear over their mouth, completing the pumpkin look. These stitches stay throughout the next sequence too. It’s the details like this that make me love this MV so much.

Pan is back to completing captcha’s but they are noticeably struggling and taking longer to answer them. Until they ultimately start making mistakes on the last two.

“Select all images with elephants”

Pan is prompted to retry the captchas and tattered pieces of the other characters who we haven’t seen for a suspicious while start falling down the screen. “Shicchatta!” (I found out!) is repeated six times and this is entirely my own speculation here with no real basis, but shicchatta is very close to sounding like shinjatta (they died). Repeated six times for the six other characters who have mysteriously disappeared.

Pan learns the truth behind everything and falls to the ground, not wanting to accept it. They’re glitchy which I think implies they’ve transitioned into being more of a robot than human. Or that they’ve been infected by the virus. This same glitchy effect can be seen on Jolly though, who we already know isn’t human.

As the only one left, Pan is forced to start NPC streaming. The virus we saw creeping around earlier has fully deteriorated the world and can be seen floating around in the background. Tears in their eyes, Pan desperately goes through the motions as if begging the viewer for help. The other characters are seen briefly but they’re crumpled and taped back together, obviously not real.

Pan eventually breaks and reaches forward, literally slamming their fists on the screen but Jolly nonchalantly pulls the curtain down, hiding them from view.

Now another wacky detail here, is that around halfway through the mv. Jolly actually escaped the confines of the headset. Look at him again here during the first chorus, he’s behind the black bar at the bottom of the screen just like everyone else.

But then, the next time we see him and all the scenes after, he is clearly outside of the black bars. Essentially meaning he escaped the program. Fun!

Pan is seen crying to themselves and the lyrics confirm that this party will never end. Jolly forces Pan to face the camera and they give us a deranged smile, having well and truly lost it by now. The screen glitches and shows their NPC pumpkin form. Their decent into longer being a human is complete.

The song ends with a verification failed screen but a split second before this, a blacked out version is shown and this one says ‘verification complete’. Spooky!

(edit: some extra lore, it was pointed out to me that in the niconico upload, the verification doesn’t fail!)

-

And that’s it! If anyone actually read this far thank you hbdjsj

Apart from the very obvious Amazing Digital Circus references, I also see hints of FNAF and Poppy Playtime in here. The environments and atmosphere are all very mascot horror. But! The song still stands on its own. The captcha element is a cool spin on things and Yasutatsu’s chara designs are really fun and expressive. The song itself is also great but that’s to be expected from syudou.

It’s just all really cool, have I conveyed that I think its cool yet !!!!

[skylark325]

Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint Read Through

Ch 32-52

Beginning: Ch1-10

(I think this was my favourite read through so far XD)

I pushed to punch this asshole's face. I didn't understand. This wasn't the 'third regression' Yoo Joonghyuk that I knew.

>KDJ: Look at me YJH, look into my eyes. *grabs his shoulder* This isn’t you. Get the fuck out of this safe zone so I can be safe.

I was bleeding from minor wounds and the shoulders struck by the grolls' horns were red with blood.

>Reading it in the novel feels so much worse than the manhwa for some reason 😭

"You can become much stronger with me than with him. You still won't go?" "Yes. I won't." "…Stupid kid."

>oh he’s so mad lmfao

"I only use it on men." "Oh my."

>…Dokja buddy let me hold your hand when I say this. You are a homose- *gets run over by a car*

"I know what I know. Of course I don't know. I'm just talking to myself."

>…huh?

If my guess was right, our damn regressor would be on the 'sunfish route¹'.

>WHOOP he said the thing!

"Hey, why are you talking to Heewon-ssi but ignoring me?" "Uh… that, I'm a bit weak to older females."

>I…IS EVERYONE IN THIS BOOK QUEER?

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' likes your desire to rehabilitate a fallen friend.]

>Oh I bet she does

"I saw it in a book when I was a child." "When you were a child?"

>I love Gilyoung with all my heart but he can be so suspicions sometimes

I thought of how Lee Hyunsung's eyes would shine with loyalty towards me and already felt warm.

>AWWWW

Mjolnir was lightly lifted by Lee Gilyoung's hands. Lee Gilyoung swung the hammer around before looking at me.

>So Gilyoung is Thor, k ok cool

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' hates spoilers.]

>DUDE SAME

A novel reader recently spoiled something huge in my comments and I wanted to tear my hair out like WHYTFBNHGGBBN

In fact, sunfish were very durable creatures. They died because they were vulnerable to stress, not because they were weak.

>someone get this man a therapist. wont that save the world? some stress balls and anti-depressants and he’ll be unstoppable.

"Alone?"

「 I… 」

"What did I come here for if you are alone?"

>i love this scene so much 🥹

"It sounds like you know a lot." "I know him the best in this world."

>That’s…Dokja you’re making this too easy

"I came here because of you! Why are you alone? We are together!"

"No, wait a minute."

"I've always been around you! Don't lose hope! Think of the child!"

"That isn't what I…"

>HAHAHAHA I’M DYING

"…Indeed. Don't worry, I'll give him this love letter!"

>lmaooo i love this scene holy shit XD

"I am Yoo Joonghyuk."

>oh here we go

"But Yoo Joonghyuk-nim should've realized it from your past regressions. Even if you have an outstanding miracle, you alone can't fight against the disasters that will come."

>The first grader is trying to teach the guy with a phd in yjh lmao

–Then tonight will be a hot night?

–H-Hot…?

>Poor Hyunsung someone protect this man 😭

These jerks, they only got the cute side of Yoo Joonghyuk in the beginning…

>EXCUSE ME????? CUTE?????? DOKJA MY MAN GET UP

--------------------------------------------

Next: Ch 53-73

Previous: Ch 21-31

Beginning: Ch 1-10

[aishangotome]

Roger Barel: Chapter 10 Premium Story

Chapter 10

♡———♡

"The feeling called love is nothing more than a brain malfunction or a misunderstanding arising from sexual desire."

I have to teach this egotistical man about romantic feelings.

Roger: Hmm, simply eating ice cream together is a study of love, huh?

Kate: It's not like I wanted to eat ice cream...

(I boasted about teaching love through a date, but I just didn't know what to do...)

To cover up my embarrassment, I licked the ice cream I had bought near the station, cleverly incorporating it into our date.

Roger: Hey, Kate. You must have had a romance or two, right?

Roger: What is love to you?

(Love to me, huh...)

Kate: ...I don't have that much experience either.

Roger: I'm not asking for advice from a veteran like you. Just tell me.

(That's right, for example...)

Kate: For me, love is like something that makes everyday life sparkle.

Kate: Just having someone you like makes you feel happy.

Kate: It makes you want to try a little harder than usual and feel happy.

Roger: Sparkle, huh?

Kate: Ah, you don't believe it, do you?

Kate: I know it sounds like there's no scientific basis, but...

Kate: The person you like is different from others, they seem to sparkle.

(Was that a little childish...?)

I glanced at Roger sitting next to me, and contrary to my expectations, a soft smile was on his lips.

Roger: I like it. The world you see seems fun.

Roger: Oh, your ice cream is melting.

Kate: Wahhh...!

I hurriedly gobbled up the ice cream, and a voice mixed with a wry smile reached my ears.

Roger: Still, the more I hear about it, the more I think love is uncertain, ambiguous, and inefficient, despite being unknown.

Kate: Inefficient?

Roger: Being tossed around by an unknown emotion, experiencing highs and lows. But there's no guarantee the other person will like you back.

Roger: Is there anything more inefficient in life?

(What a cold way of thinking...)

Kate: Hahaha. It's such a Roger-like statement that it makes me laugh beyond astonishment.

Kate: ...But it's strange.

Roger: Hmm?

Kate: Ah, well... The more I get to know your rational way of thinking, Roger,

Kate: The more I wonder why you're paying attention to me.

I can't think of any advantage to having me around.

Roger: Jude asked me the same thing.

Roger: He said, "You're a pervert who only thinks about research, and you hate troublesome things."

Kate: That's as harsh as ever, but... he's right.

Roger: I didn't intend to keep you around at first either.

Roger: But I found something I like about you.

The eyes behind his glasses suddenly softened.

Roger: When you first became a Fairytale Keeper and was about to be crushed by your own incompetence, you said it many times, didn't you?

Roger: "Don't despair."

(Come to think of it...)

*flashback*

Kate: I want to be strong...

Kate: Because I don't want to hate myself...

Kate: And... life is too long to despair.

Roger: ............

Roger: K, hahahaha!

*flashback over*

(At that time, Roger was laughing so hard that tears were welling up in his eyes.)

Kate: ...Yes, I remember.

Roger: The way you looked forward, refusing to despair even though you were depressed, was endearing.

Roger: And I also think the most important thing in life is to give the middle finger to despair.

Kate: Give the middle finger to despair?

Roger: Yeah, we were born for a reason. Why should we give up so easily?

Roger's smile as he said that was so dazzling that it was like I was under a spell that stopped time.

Roger: And, Kate.

Roger leaned forward and peered into my face.

Roger: I'm having fun being with you right now.

Kate: ...!

His straightforward words unexpectedly struck me right in the heart.

Kate: Th...that's... good.

(My face is hot... Right now, I can only give such an uncute response.)

Roger: ...Kate, the nature of my curse is "betrayal."

Roger: Like the huntsman in Snow White who betrayed the queen, it seems I'm destined to betray.

Roger: And my "tragic end" seems to be a fate of self-destruction driven by guilt.

Suddenly, my heart pounded at the "curse" Roger revealed and the "fate" he carried.

Kate: ...Roger.

Roger: But I will definitely change my fate. It's ridiculous to be swayed by a curse.

Roger: Kate, I like you, so I promise you this.

Roger: I won't betray you for no reason. Never.

Roger's smile as he said that pierced my heart again.

(That's nice. I wonder if I can become a strong person like that someday...)

The moment I thought that, I realized it.

(Oh, I see. I might be... admiring Roger.)

I didn't want to tease him, so I took a deep breath.

Kate: Thank you, Roger...

Kate: Ah... my stomach...

Roger: Kuk, hahaha!

Your stomach is full of energy today, as always. You moved a lot and talked a lot. At the end of such a day...

Kate: Let's go eat, Roger! | Roger: Wanna grab some food, Kate?

The two of them said it at the same time, then looked at each other and laughed.

Kate: I definitely won't drink too much tonight.

Roger: Kate, do you know the saying 'What happens twice will happen thrice'?

Kate: I'll be fine, leave it to me. I'm a grown-up now.

And so the night deepened...

-

Roger: What do you mean, grown-up?

You're wobbly after just two or three drinks.

Kate: ...Hmm? Where are we?

Roger: We're home, we're back...whoa, careful.

Kate: Ouch...I tripped over the leg of the desk or something,

and with a dull pain, my vision spun.

When I came to, I was looking down at Roger, who had sunk into the bed...

I didn't really understand the situation, I just stared blankly at his face.

(Wow...this angle, I feel a little good.)

(Because Roger is always so bossy...)

Pushing him down like this makes me feel a little excited.

Kate: ...Hey, Roger. I get angry when you boss me around.

Fixing his crooked glasses, I smiled with a pounding heart.

Roger: Kuk, haha...what the hell, drunkard, insulting me?

Kate: ...You boss me around, and it irritates me, but it also excites me even more.

Leaning on his thick chest, I smelled his sweat and the scent of a sunny day.

Roger: ...........

Kate: Tomorrow...what kind of person will I become?

Kate: If I become stronger...I wonder how Roger will laugh...I'm excited.

(I couldn't say it honestly before.)

Kate: ...I also have fun when I'm with you, Roger...

Roger: ..............

Kate: Roger, watch me...I'll become even stronger...so...

At that moment, strong arms embraced me.

As if to trap me in a sweet cage.

Roger: I wasn't going to lay a hand on you because things have been so chaotic, but I've changed my mind.

Roger: Wanna do something nice with me, Kate?

(Roger, what are you saying...? My head is fuzzy...)

Kate: ...Hmm? Hmm...?

Before I could answer properly, a hand was placed on my slightly tilted head...

Roger: I gave you a chance to escape.

Kate: Hmm, hmm...?

Roger sealed my breath with his lips, as if to eat it.

Kate: Uh, ha, ...hmm, hmm...hmm...

I can't breathe, and the core of my head is going numb.

Kate: No more, nn... I can't... ah!

Roger: Don't set your own limits.

Roger: You're going to be a strong and good woman, right? Hehehe.

His glasses are removed, and our faces draw closer.

His lips are much closer than before, and they dive deeper inside me...

Kate: U, nn... nn... ha..

Straddling Roger, I entwine my tongue until my head is muddled.

Just when I think I've been released, a hand slips through the gap in my blouse, which has been disheveled at some point.

Roger: I found something delicious.

With a mischievous voice, Roger bites the tip of my breast.

Kate: Ah, Nn..

Roger sat up, playing with my breasts with his tongue while still holding me.

Cradled in his lap, my blouse slipped from my shoulders, exposing my chest. A playful flick of his tongue sent ripples through me.

The stimulation alone is enough to drive me crazy with pleasure, but then his thick fingers swim between my legs, pushing deeper, and the accumulated pleasure threatens to burst...

Kate: Ah, Roger... no more, I...

Roger: I won't go all the way. ... This won't fit unless we get used to it.

Kate: Ah, ah...

His firm hips press against me, and I can't help but cry out at the shape that's evident even through my bottoms.

Kate: Ah... I didn't hear about this...

Roger: Well, if you're not going to be my girlfriend, you don't need to worry about it, do you?

Roger: Focus on me now. I'll make you cum soon.

Kate: Ah, nn, ahh...

With many fingers raging inside of me, my whole body trembled violently.

(Roger's fingers are making me crazy when he does this....)

(Go deeper...and keep touching me. I want to feel good...)

-

The next morning, I woke up and remembered absolutely nothing––.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

(I––how could I!)

I remembered everything in perfect detail, from start to finish, and held my head in my hands in disgust.

Kate: How could this happen? I only had two or three drinks.

Roger: Ugh... When you're tired, your metabolism slows down, and the liver's alcohol metabolism slows down too.

Roger: In other words, even with less alcohol than usual––

Kate: Thanks for the medical explanation! But even so, how, how could you... do that...?

Roger: Ah, you mean taking off your clothes and touching you where it feels good?

Kate: Could you at least be a little more tactful?

Kate: Besides, Roger and I aren't like that... Why all of a sudden?

Roger: I just got the urge while looking at your cute face.

Roger: You should praise me for being a good boy and taking care of it myself without going all the way.

Kate: Took care of it!? Ah, that...

Kate: Th-th-that's the worst!

Roger: Who's worse here? It's my first time being left hanging like that.

Roger: Besides, what's wrong with showing affection to my own pet dog?

(Even now, calling me a dog... He really is the worst!)

Kate: You wouldn't do anything sexual with a dog!

Roger: Of all the animals, I love dogs the most.... That's what you mean, right?

Kate: Huh...?

(Liking me the most means I'm one of Roger's favorite things... That's not relevant!)

Kate: Th-that's not going to fool me!

Kate: I was stupid to think I respected you and wanted to be like you, Roger.

Roger: Oh, that's news to me. Respect, huh?

I felt like anything I said now would only please this horrible man.

Kate: If you do anything sexual again, I'll end our friendship!

Roger: Pfft, hahaha! Are you a child or something? Stupid.

Kate: Calling me stupid is even more stupid!

Clutching my blouse, I ran out of the room in my disheveled clothes.

My body still seemed to be warm, and when I was alone, I couldn't help but let out a sigh.

(Being with Roger always throws me off balance.)

I was drunk, but everything I said was the undeniable truth... which made it all the more frustrating.

––At that time, I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't realize the depth of the "despair" within Roger.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 11

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[absolutebl]

Industry question for you, please: Why is it that it seems that Thai BL in particular has some really systemic issues with writing endings? Screwed-up pacing/editing, out-of-character/illogical actions, not being very satisfying... it seems like a show avoiding that fate is more of an exception than the rule, unfortunately. Do a lot of them just... not write the ending ahead of time? 😅 That would make having these sort of wacked-up endings at least make some sense, but... really, it makes *no* sense to me that that would be the actual standard writing strategy-- I mean, for example, one of the best living novel authors I know of *always* has very satisfying endings, literally without fail (I have read everything he's written and been perfectly content with the ending of every one), and the reason for that is he purposefully always writes the endings of his books *first*, then works everything back up to that point. Similarly, some of the best TV shows I've seen (from any country-- and this does actually include some Thai ones, to be fair) were written either all in one go or at the *very* least with their endings obviously already very firmly in mind, regardless of if they were completely original or were adaptations of some other source material. So... why does this often seem to be such a difficulty for the writers of Thai BL? 😅 (Sorry if I sound a little salty here, but endings either make or break all fiction for me {novels, manga/manhwa, TV, movies, games, whatever}, and I've been getting burned what seems to be more and more often lately with shows being great for the vast majority of their runtime but then inexplicably totally botching the landing, seemingly out of nowhere-- so I'm a bit frustrated with that when it seems to be a really simply-solved problem {that, indeed, has already been solved by many others before}: JUST WRITE THE DAMN ENDING *FIRST* and then work up to it? 🙃😅)

Endings huh? You a romance reader by nature? (Wait, no, you said... HE. So... Sparks? Green?) Anygay, where was I?

But yeah, I get it. I've always fancied the dessert course the most, myself.

To answer your question, not sure. I'm assuming its a narrative expectation based in culture. Like Japan and their lanes, China and 6 act structure, or Korea's adoration of love triangles. And producing culture comes to film and storytelling with its own set narrative conceits, archetypes, and tropes and aren't proscriptive but are leaned on a lot. Much as they come to film with a certain style as well.

Think about the "look" of Korean BL compared to the "look" of Taiwanese BL, for example. They have an entirely different flavor to them. Korean stuff is usually all bright and airy, lots of distance shots, super clean and uncluttered, filtered and filmy and atmospheric. Taiwanese stuff is much closer, more grainy, more bold with it's color choices and contrasts, kind-up n your face and gritty, a bit messy sometimes.

It's jarring to go from one to the other.

After watching nothing but Asian dramas for so long, I always find it jarring to go back to American shit. It feels over-acted and unsubtle and kind of brash. Over all "loud" and in my face. Jarring.

So when first encountering 4 or 6 act structure most westerners feel a little unmoored, it doesn't feel comfortable until you sink into it and leave 3 & 5 behind.

I'm mean I'm so used to K-dramas with that arbitrary year or more separation in the final episode I;m now shocked when it's not there.

I guess what I'm saying is maybe it's just a thing with Thailand, not to put that much truck in endings. The way (especially) romances do in the western world. There's a very fixed idea of what an HEA should look like in the west. Thailand may not share that idea.

I've not read the source books of any of these BLs, so I don't know if this is just their narrative style or not.

I mean there are some Thai BLs with good (if not great) endings, and plenty of Korean BLs with terrible middles, and far too many Taiwanese BLs with bad beginnings.

Ya just kinda get used to it, I guess.

15 Thai BLs with Good Endings

A Tale of Thousand Stars

Bad Buddy

Lovely Writer

2gether

Be My Favorite

Dark Blue Kiss (possibly my favorite on this list)

Destiny Seeker

Make a Wish

Naughty Babe

SOTUS

[afortoru]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗋𝗈 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾

Pairing: ceo!Toji Zenin x reader

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst

Word count: 2.2 k

Warnings: old memories both happy and sad ones ig

Note: I wrote an hardcore family fluff...yaay! also im sorry Sukuna stans for making him your brother in this fic TT and if your are reading this, i love you *mwah*

The Zenin Group Pvt Ltd is one of the most infamous company in this world of bussisness. Everyone who's associated with it, gains nothing but tons and loads of money as being there slaves. Even there rivals have given up. Everytime there bussisness rivals try to took them down, something happens to their own company and they'll suddenly loose there shares and shareholders. Even a thought of having The Zenin Group as there rivals would make them shiver, causing them sleepless nights. 

But who wasn't affected by this so called infamous company was The Ryomen Interprises Pvt Ltd. The Ryomen's was on top with their business as much as the Zenin's were. They were infact the only rivals who were standing long and tall infront of the Zenin's. The two groups who couldn't bring each other down to hell by there little games decided to play with your's and the upcoming young ceo of the Zenin group, Toji Zenin's life. 

You were the only daughter and the second youngest child of the family with your older brother Ryomen Sukuna. 

Sukuna was one hell of a cold guy, ignoring the girls lurking around him to get his attention, not giving in into cheap pleases from the business partners and the list goes on. For the the outside world he was a stone cold narcissistic rich guy but the one's who got to see his soft side were the one's he loved the most, his dearest little sister,you and your mother. 

Sukuna hold you two like his life depends on you too and it did. Your father, Mr. Ryomen would also get his cold looks and an 'idgaf' attitude. Since Sukuna knows his father oh so well and what that man could do to continue his legacy.

That's why he didn't thought for a second when your father finally wanted him to take over their business and become the ceo. Sukuna thought he could finally make things right with the company under him but later did he knew that some decisions were still under your father's hand.

You were busy checking up the decorations for the party held for your brother being the new CEO.

"I see you're pretty excited about this, huh!" you can tell how annoyed he was with all the preparations. "Atleast let me pretend like I'm preparing for my big bro's wedding or something like that" you said walking towards Sukuna whose expressions has turned from annoyed to confused. "Well looking at the way you 'shoo' people around you specially women, I don't think so you're getting married any soon" listening to your words he looked at you with a annoyed grin "so is that what my sister wants from me now huh, what else do you want, should I rip my heart out for you" he stated "you should totally, maybe then I can sell it to buy myself the new book in my wishlist" you winked at him. Sukuna stood their with a shocked face thinking how can his lovely sister be so mean, oh wait you're his sister there's going to be something about you that's in his personality too. 

You went back to look over to the decorations as squeeled from your place as you felt someone's tickling you. "You really gonna be this mean to me huh, never thought this much money couldn't buy you a book but my heart would huh?" he jokingly mentioned while you were on the verge of tears from laughing. "Sukuna stop please, I'm sorry stop...ahhh you idiot I'm gonna tell mom, MOM" you made yourself free from him as you started running outside to the grand house garden. 

"Wait you-" he called you out as you made your way towards your mom looking back at him with a funny expression on your face. "I gonna tell mom you're- , ahh!" You weren't looking in front while running as you felt someone stopping you. 

"What's so funny kids?", you looked to see the face of the man your brother hates the most, your father. "Why are you running after her like that my son?" he stated with a smile on his face. Sukuna didn't mind his words as he took your hand about to leave but you pulled away. "Nothing dad, we're just going to see mom" you said not wanting to be rude to your father. 

He gave you a gentle smile and then he started walking towards Sukuna "Son i know you don't like me but atleast try to act not that mean, can't you?" , "I don't like you?, I hate you... stop being delusional." Sukuna states with an annoyed expression.

"What's happening, I heard Y/N call me. Why'd you call me dear?" you with both the men standing with you turn towards the voice coming from the other side of the hall, you mother Mrs. Ryomen. 

She walked towards you and the two men with a gentle smile. Sukuna looks at his mother and then he sees your face, she's exactly like mom, he thought to himself. 

She greets your father with a gracious smile, as he nods and smiles back. "Why'd you call me dear?". You pointed towards your brother, faking a pout "Kuna, he was tickling me, i told him not disturb me while I'm working for ceremony held for him and here he's not even a little pounce of gratitude on his face", he grunts listening you complaining like a little kid "hell I'm not , and did I asked you to do this decorations when we already have so much workers around" he says as he pokes you on your cheeks." Mom, you see how rude he'd became now,I-".

"My dear son you should be glad your sister is happy and helping with arranging the ceremony of you being the new ceo, am I right darling?", your father directed this question to you mother, she just noded instead of giving any answer. 

"She's not actually happy-", he was interrupted by your mom. "Um Sukuna, dear I need you and Y/N with me right now, please excuse us dear", she asks as a permission from Mr. Ryomen to leave.

You slightly smiled towards him before you started following your mom and Sukuna. As your father stands behind knowing that he won't ever get the same closure from you and Sukuna the like you give your mother. He still appreciated your kindness towards him, atleast you try unlike Sukuna. 

He sighs as he walked around the house checking the preparations being held for his son's being the new ceo. 

Mr. Ryomen won't say that he loves power, but you knew he does and he'll put his family on the line for this forsaken company. He won't even think once to choose his company, established by your so called forefathers over his wife who sacrificed her career, his daughter who was kind enough to still smile at him and his son who'll put his life on the line for his family. 

Sukuna sat with your mom on the edge of the bed as you were trying to find something in the wardrobe. "Mom you sure you haven't lost it and kept it in the wardrobe?" you have been looking for whatever it was and you can sense Sukuna's being impatient. 

"Mom, I don't think so this dummy would find whatever it is, you should go and check" he asked her receiving a "shut up" from you.

Your mom was about to get up to help you find it before you exclaimed, "I found it! Here!". Sukuna examine a medium sized, maroon coloured box that you were holding.

"Here mom, kuna this is for you…me and mom got this for you", you handed the box to your her. She looked towards Sukuna, who was now confused on what and why you two got any gift for him.

Your mom's hands moved towards his face as she gently ruffles his hair and places her palm on his now slightly blushind cheeks " for you my dear son" , she says with a motherly smile over her face as she hand overs the gift to Sukuna. 

"B- but w-why…i mean is there anything special?", you chuckled at his stuttering."Open it first big bro, don't you wanna see what we got for you?" you reminded as his gaze went towards the box, what could it be, Sukuna thought to himself as he starts unwrapping it.

"I- it's a w- watch, but w- why?",his question made you walk towards him as you sat on the other side of the bed beside him. 

"Because we love you and wanted to give you something since we know you're doing all this for us that's why me and mom decided to surprise you with this little gift", you said with a sweet smile as you can see his expressions soften. 

"Thankyou so much both of you!", Sukuna felt he's about to shed some tears but he contained himself as he quickly held both of you and your mom in his arms into a hug.

"We know why are you taking the position of the ceo in your father's company, son. M- mom's s- so proud of you, she's so sorry she couldn't-" Sukuna shushed as she's now sobbing into his shirt. 

"Mom you did enough for the both us, please don't say like this. Whatever we do, it won't be enough to what you did so please don't speak like that", he uttered as he hold the both of you more closely and tightly like his life depends on it.

"Everything is fine, big bro but I kinda being suffocated, you should do a little less exercise", your words made your mom and Sukuna chuckle as he let go the both of you."If I won't exercise then who's gonna protect you, huh?" he questioned with a smirk with his look diverted towards you. 

"I can protect myself, alright. Don't go on this pretty face, i can beat some asses too" you stated proudly pointing a finger towards your face."And who said you're pretty?", Sukuna's word made you pout, gaining a chuckle from your mom. 

"Hey! mom not you too" you whinned.

"You're the prettiest, dummy…happy now?", your pout turned into a very much satisfied smile from his words as you nod. 

Your mother on the other hand can't believe how lucky she got having you and Sukuna as her kids. She cherish you two too much than she already do. Everyday you two get older, she can't help but want to spend more time with you two, see you bickering, fighting, laughing, just the desire to see you both increases and she can't help it. She knows that one day her daughter and son would have there own family, their own kids and maybe you two won't have enough time for her but she's just happy with the thought of you two being settled down with your spouses oneday.

"Mom, why the teary eyes?", she was snapped back to reality as you wipes her tears away, she didn't realised she was crying.

"N- nothing, just you two make me so happy I can't get enough of you two. Always stay like this together, protect each other, always stand for each other and never let anyone else break this bond between you too…mom loves the both of you so much" she sniffles as she pats one hand on your head and another on Sukuna's.

You and Sukuna looked at each other before hugging your mom exactly how you did it when you were kids. You two used two jump on her everytime you came back from school or in any occasion when you missed her. She would always take you two in her motherly embrace and the what you two felt in her arms is something you can say that's better than the feeling of even being in heaven, so warm, so tender.

It would be true to say that the three of you don't wanna break from this hug, maybe an eternity would feel less cause this love is something you could never get tired of. 

Your mother is so lost embracing her most precious possessions.

You were glad to have a family, who loved you so much that you couldn't imagine anyone else to live you more than then. No there's no way anyone who could give you there heart like your family, or was there?

Sukuna on the other hand can't believe how he got so lucky to have you as his sister and her as his mother. The more he's with you two the more he wants to protect you two from this world. He want to give everything best in this world to you and your mom. Sukuna might not be able to fight his father or change the past but he promised to himself that he would never let his mom suffer again, she is happy now but he knows what she's been through for the both of you and you, he lives to protect you from anyone who even thinks to hurt you. He swear they won't see the sun if anyone would even dare to think about you wrongly. He had taken this unspoken pledge to shield you and you too believed you would not find any men like you brother in your life until you met him.

Tagging my babies:

@lotus-n-l0ve @luvjiro @luckimoon @vagabond-umlaut

I'm still an amature writer so feel free to advise me please.

[omghallucinations]

ateez gemini moon squad: same bitch, different vibes

you know how 7/8 members of ateez have either a gemini or a cancer moon--what a hilarious combination btw--well seems like a fun way to explore how the same ingredient (the moon in a sign) can express itself totally differently depending on the chart!

gemini moon: a feeling? sure would love to psychoanalyze her uh what do you mean "feel it" a physical body sounds fake :) just think about 500 other things ur anxiety will save u from pain that's how it works :) girl i do not want to know about the deep mysteries of life or your feelings are you nuts??? bye!!!!! reality isn't cute my imagination of reality is cute do not get it twisted

ateez gemini moon squad:

hongjoong, yunho, san

hongjoong

hongjoong expresses gemini moon energy fairly straightforwardly, since the things that affect the moon all mix pretty well with gemini. his moon is in the 3rd decan, ruled by uranus (aquarius vibes, an air sign so they are compatible) and quincunx (a thinky aspect) to his ascendant (an earth sign, so not the most complimentary but the thinky aspect is in alignment) and in the 5th house--the leo house, so fire, and fire and air famously get along.

gemini moon: man i love thinking thoughts and creating and idealized world in my head where i can move everything around like a little paper doll :) i love to communicate with people!!! tell me everything you heard about everyone. but also don't get too real, it freaks me out bro in the fifth house: yes and wouldn't it be cool to express urself creatively :) wouldn't that make u feel safe and like u belong :) i mean sure tying ur emotions to your creativity can cause how you say... le dépression, but when it's going well isn't it great??? in the uranus-gemini decan: thinking is great, u know what is even better, thinking outside the box trine aquarius south node in the 1st: yes and your past lives and general foundational self really throws wood into this fire isn't that chill :) man it is so easy to abstract reality and just thinky think about everything including myself :) ur identity is ur philosophy about the world and the way u express it :) safety!!! also... le dépression if u feel ur being inauthentic.... .... sextile north node in leo in the 7th: u know what's dope, ur coping mechanisms are not completely at odds with your soul's journey :) it is important to express yourself and be creative!!! the aesthetic is a vibe!! sextile aries saturn in the 3rd house: hey girl :) it's me :) a big life lesson i'm at 29 degrees so i'm gonna really cause some fun trouble but on the bright side u truly Get this energy on another level, so i'm gonna bless you with a great work ethic, a duty towards the people around u and the ability to start things and execute them :) dope to be a planet about earth but in a fire sign in an air house so we really get each other ur welcome :) do NOT open this box labeled workaholic: but why???? until your saturn return k? quincunx capricorn ascendant: well. on the bright side. thinky thinky!!! we love thinking!!! uhhh but also... maybe it's really cool to overthink everything and deny ur feelings because it's important to Produce Work...... ... hmmm that ole depresh makes a lot of intellectual sense... ... .. .. . to me...// / // and my Life Direction... .. aha ha ha sextile hygeia in leo in the 7th, who is an asteroid and not a super mega one but we'll still talk about it: ever... compound your feelings so hard that they become one with ur body and u manifest stress through physical illness? haha that'd be fun. anyway u really love caring for people in a generous fun way but also... .... . could u not grind all of your feelings into your teeth every night hahaha? gemini ruled by mercury in sagittarius in the 10th house: let's crank up your ideals and personal philosophy to 11 and give it a real Work Flavor, huh? express urself!!! intellectually. artistically. nothing weird and emotional. full moon: i'm just gonna sprinkle in some illumination for u, some culmination of a cycle, some need for higher meaning, some searching, some power, some witchery, some fertility as in creation, incredibly strong Pulls from different directions that you're gonna have to reconcile with each other, enjoy!!!

pros: The Aesthetic, Smarty Pants, I Love Think and Create, Damn am I an Iconoclastic Thinker and Creative, Generous Spirit and Ability to Demonstrate Care

cons: le dépression, le back problems from hunching over a laptop for 72 hours in a row

yunho

moon in gemini: man i love thinking thoughts and creating and idealized world in my head where i can move everything around like a little paper doll :) i love to communicate with people!!! tell me everything you heard about everyone. but also don't get too real, it freaks me out bro in the 7th house: yeah let's really, really not get too real haha. we're just about the vibe, man, like let's all chill together and make sure everything is equitable and fair and whatever, let's be super balanced because the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS TO KEEP THE PEACE!! my childhood reaaaaally taught me to deny my emotions haha but in a chill way ok don't get it twisted in the uranus-gemini decan: thinking is great, u know what is even better, thinking outside the box square mercury in pisces in the 5th house: but have u ever thought about how other people are sad???????? and ur sad??? and u actually have some very sensitive feelings??? so!! looks like u can't always keep it "chill" by "denying your feelings and the feelings of others"!! SO!!! don't make a decision it's mean :( semisquare venus in taurus in the 6th: ok let's all calm down, huh? let's just be practical and sensible for a minute, okay? let's just get along with people and be chill through life. it's just not that deep. exactly trine south node in aquarius in the 3rd house: damn don't worry i can really back you up there gemini moon, i see ur emotional abstraction and raise you like a bunch of past lives and shit of more intellectual abstraction of aquarius in a gemini house. i am gently curious about other people but i can always see them like i'm looking down from space because i am an alien. loosely trine uranus in aquarius in the 3rd house: #same, no need to follow conventional paths bro do your own thing quincunx scorpio ascendant: u ever thinky think about always being of service to others and calmly accepting the depths of other people while denying ur own like... fairly substantial depths haha ha bc i do sextile hygeia in leo in the 9th, who is an asteroid and not a super mega one but we'll still talk about it: ever... compound your feelings so hard that they become one with ur body and u manifest stress through physical illness? haha that'd be fun. anyway u really love caring for people in a benefic like wise sage on the mountain way... .... . could u not grind all of your feelings into your teeth every night hahaha? sextile north node in leo in the 9th: ur soul would really love for u to like. love humanity in a vibey way. observe the world without judgement but also value ur own ego and self-expression and not judge how much u love attention and everything? cool? quintile jupiter in aries in the 5th house: i bless u with the gift of good vibes. don't get too anxious or sad man ur vibes are so good and people like u so much bro crescent moon: u could be anything :) for better or worse :) ur youthful and also kind of tied to the past and ur gonna have to deal with that, but damn girl ur potential!!

pros: good vibes, peace-keeper, great listener, probably a truly amazing person to gossip with, not too concerned with being normal or anything

cons: hypnotizes himself daily so he never has one feeling, desperately attached to calm and consistent social dynamics, freaks out (internally, by developing health problems) when his friends are fighting

san

hm. well. hm. his sun is in cancer so. that's really gonna make his moon confused right off the bat. most of his moon aspects are more fire and air energy that align with his gemini moon, so it's like his moon and his sun are fighting all the time. yoopies. his moon is strong but his deep emotions are really clawing their way out of where they're buried!!

moon in gemini: man i love thinking thoughts and creating and idealized world in my head where i can move everything around like a little paper doll :) i love to communicate with people!!! tell me everything you heard about everyone. but also don't get too real, it freaks me out bro in the 9th house: let's add some idealism and detached philosophy and roaming vibes :) all your thinky delusions about reality are actually true, because u believe them :) idealism and traveling and LEAVING make you feel safe! feel free to ghost!! live out of a suitcase for months, you love it! in the mercury-gemini decan: u know what's also fun. gossip :) trine neptune in aquarius in the 5th: +1 to idealism and living in a fantasy world, also let's express yourself creatively and maybe become entirely different people? wouldn't that be cool??? also ur sensitive but in a fun way!! no one knows what ur gonna do next!! opposite pluto in sagittarius in the 3rd house: hey uh remember when u had a ton of conflict with like a parent or a sibling as a kid and it tended to make u fall into love-hate patterns with people? and how u always feel misunderstood??? haha yeah me too. awkward to have a moon who hates feeling things tethered to pluto, huh. sure have a lot of deeply buried feelings, right? man that's gotta be awkward. better hide those deeeeeeep down until they only express themselves in weird unconscious ways :) square vesta in virgo in the 12th, again an asteroid and not one of the huge biggie ones but still gonna touch on it: ever try... ... going home? establishing healthy routines that are not super intense and extreme? no? really? yikes. u probably should bud. conjunct pallas, repeat what i said about asteroids: hm u know how you love idealizing people and denying reality in favor of ur own reality in which ur a pure white knight or whatever? let's add to that by being very protective and giving and compassionate bc ur super emotionally intelligent :) also ever try channelling ur thinky thoughts and emotions through ur art??? could be cool! gemini ruled by mercury in leo in the 11th house: it is very very very important that people see you, lots of people, and lots of people validate you, so jot that down. balsamic dark moon: here is some karma for u, hey but with karma comes wisdom!!!, you felt different from other people when you were a kid probably not in a good way and you're gonna have to work thru some stuff for closure!!

pros: Artsy Ass Bitch, shape-shifter, empathetic most of the time, Wow Isn't Life Beautiful, lookin on the bright side most of the time

cons: no idea who he is at any given moment, deep repressed shit that make him feel misunderstood all the time, ghosts reality 24/7

it's like hongjoong has the smarty pants thinky thought intellectual abstraction artsy fartsy gemini moon, yunho has the emotional abstraction keep it chill chitty chatty no shirt no shoes just vibes gemini moon and san's got the jeckyll and hyde gemini moon. fellow gemini placements u know what i mean, it's not a moral thing it's just the energy! no wonder he's such a good performer he doesn't know who he is half the time, and that is valid.

[rileyslibrary]

Living With Ghosts: 8. GOON LAD

You’ve been fiddling with that folded paper for two days now. You should read it and put an end to your agony for good. Just get it out of the way. Read what he has to say.

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

Word Count: 1,170

Notes:

You know what?? Here, *throws the chapter at you* take it! You can have it! I can’t keep it to myself anymore. As for the final chapter, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait till…you’ll see.

Don’t bother reading this if you haven’t kept up with the story. You’ll waste your time.

Fluff.

Entire work on AO3

Table of Contents

———————————————————————

“He’s not coming, kid.”

“I don’t believe you, Captain,” you murmur as you look out the Embassy’s window, “he can’t just vanish like that.”

“Denial doesn’t help, my dear.” He stands behind you, his thumbs holding the straps of his tactical vest. You can see his reflection through the window; he appears calm, but you can tell that the recent events have taken him aback. Price also had a close relationship with Laswell, and the realisation was just as devastating for him as it was for you.

“I know Simon,” he adds, “and this is what he does: he gets recruited, does the job, and then disappears until the next time his services are required.”

What are you supposed to do now? Wait till the next time he gets hired? When, if ever, will this happen again? You can’t wish misfortune upon the world for the probability of seeing him.

“At least you have that note,” he cheerfully adds, pointing at the folded paper in your hands, “maybe it can give you some closure.”

“I haven’t looked at it yet,” you mutter, staring at it.

“I know.” He nods his head.

“I’m scared to do so.”

“I know,” he repeats.

So, this is what he does, huh? Of course, you should have known—No! You already knew! What were you thinking, falling in love with a wild animal? People like him can’t—and shouldn’t—be tamed. On the contrary, they live a solitary life, ready to die without leaving anyone behind to mourn them.

You stupid idiot, you hopeless romantic fool. Why can’t you find someone with a regular 9-to-5 job, a 401(k), and life insurance—not a death sentence? Someone who will come home exhausted from crunching numbers, not bones. Someone who, on the weekends, will clean his car on the porch instead of his assault rifle.

Why can’t you find someone normal?

You take a look around. Price has left the room, leaving you to your own devices.

As much as you hate admitting it, he is right. You’ve been fiddling with that folded paper for two days now. You should read it and put an end to your agony for good. Just get it out of the way. Read what he has to say.

You begin to pace around the empty room with the note in your hands, trying to build up the courage to read it. Do it and then throw it away—burn it if necessary.

But you’re scared. Two days ago, you used to live together, sharing the same space, using the same cutlery, and breathing the same air. Now, this piece of paper is the only thing connecting you two.

Fuck! Just stop procrastinating and read the fucking letter already.

You return to the window, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. What’s the worst that can happen?

You unfold the piece of paper, look down and begin to read:

kid,

i’m writing this in a hurry, so i apologise for the mistakes you might find along the way.

first of all, that experimental lasagna you did on the 20th of february was shite, i thought you should know. never do that again—you might kill someone.

other than that, Very few words can Express my Never-ending and Immense appreciation for your Caring and Exciting personality.

call me a GOON LAD if you wish, but i hope that one day we will meet again under normal circumstances—when everyone will wear a mask but you and i.

lt.

And, as the sun shines through the window and bathes you with its rays and warmth, you remember him—his embrace, his scent, his words.

“There can’t be any “us”, love, not in this place.”

You break out laughing. Laughter turns into tears, then giggles then sobs again. You place your hand over your mouth, muffling any audible reaction as you study the letter again.

See, if it had been any other person—a normal one—they would have viewed that letter as a tribute to your relationship during the past few months.

But you’re not normal, are you?

No, you’re a CIA agent. And, while you may lack some basic combat training, you have other skills; decoding encrypted messages was one of them, for example. An ability of yours that Simon was well aware of.

You scan the note again, your gaze bouncing from letter to letter, word to word, sentence to sentence. You grab a blank piece of paper and sit on the ground, placing the letter in front of you. It’s time to put your mind to work.

“i apologise for the mistakes you might find along the way.” He’s implying that you will find mistakes in the letter. Perhaps he even insinuates that you shouldn’t ignore them. He wants you to find them.

“that experimental lasagna you did on the 20th of february was shite.” You first met him in September. In February, he was a stranger to you. Unless he’s referring to the 20th of February next year—it’s a meet-up.

“Very few words can Express my Never-ending and Immense appreciation for your Caring and Exciting personality.” That is the only sentence in which letters are in title case. It appears to be a backronym—a reverse acronym. Very, Express, Never-ending, Immense, Caring, Exciting. VENICE.

“call me a GOON LAD.” GOON LAD is in capital letters. It must be an anagram of some sort. You begin writing any seven-letter gibberish that comes to mind, attempting to find the one he insinuates. Was it GANLOOD? LOODGAN? No, these are not words. What about DONGOLA? No! What does Sudan have to do with Venice? Think Venice, think Venice... GONDOLA—“call me a gondola.”

“when everyone will wear a mask but you and i.”Masks; the carnival. He’s talking about the Venice Carnival.

“Call for a gondola on the 20th of February at the Venice Carnival.”

You run to the other room where the Captain is. He looks at you with a smirk hidden beneath his thick moustache.

“Read the letter, I see?” He says with raised eyebrows.

“You knew?!” You look at him in disbelief, eyes wide open.

“He told me about you; claimed you’re equally as bright as a pain in the ass.” He shrugs.

“I have to leave!” You scream, unable to contain your excitement.

“Darling, it’s December,” he laughs, “and you have to stay here for a few more weeks till things settle down. Don’t forget that you, too, have a bounty on your head.”

You sigh and slouch in frustration. “What should we do until then?” You ask.

“How about some tea to begin with?” He suggests.

“Ah! A cuppa!” You imitate the British accent with which you used to tease him.

He chuckles. “I never thought I’d see the light of day for when Riley would fall for someone,” he says as he fills the kettle with water. “That lad is, indeed, a goon.”

———————————————————————

Final ->

[sunnychuuya]

GEISS WHAT TOME IT IS

Time to PROBABALY FUCKING PISS MYSELF OVER SALLY FACE CUZ I SUCK AT DEALING WITH HORROR

I have light tho so maybe I won't be as fucked over

I'm hi key so glad I'm making these posts cuz I don't remember what the fuck happened last night

-IM NOT A GIRL

-wrf is wrong with miss rosenberg girly pop get help that's dark

-mr Addison family is dead! Dude I don't fucking care he's suspicious as hell

Watch this turn into nothing hes prolly just a fucking dude idc tho hea sus

-Oh FUCK DID SHE JUST FUCKING DIE WHAY THE HELL

WHAT THE FYCK WAS THAT

What the FUCK FUCK

HUH ?!

-bro my bracelet is like a little tight and I had it pressed under my leg and it fucking imprinted sals name on my arm lmaoo

-MEGAN LORE?

-okay wait this might be a stretch- Megan has a cross necklace and ik Travis is like super christian(ive seen him with a cross necklacein fanart i dont think its on his canon sprite tho?); and ik Kenneth is the one who sh0t sal but what reason would he have to be involved here idk I just wanna get down all my thoughts even tho most aren't righg

-nvm rhe necklace is in the building apparently im dumb

-Wait actually sal hasn't started school yet has he? So he wouldn't know travis anyway

-idfk

-having the light on makes this game so much easier go play

-IM NOT DOING DRUGSS

-"I just want you to know ghat I understand what it's like to be afraid. To hide away from the world" rahehhehe sal ur 15 u shouldn't have to be offering advice to an adult I wanna be sals friend so bad it's unreasonable

-I d o n t. L I k e m r a d d I s o n

-PLEASE LARRY LOOKS SO GOOFY I LOVE HIM

-"Holy fuck knuckles" jnfjdjdjd

-oh pleasant so I'm assuming Megan's mom was a cheater

-is Megan's Dad the one who killed them ??

-yea okay I'm a fucking dumbass I just want to try to connect everything even if it doesn't work I'm low-key tempted to just delete that paragraph about the necklace but shh it's fine

-GUYS WTF IS THIS

YEAH SAL SHES DOIN GREAT

-oh a noose!

-VIDEO GAMES

-feel like this game is foreshadowing 4 sure

-like there's no way this is just here for some reason

-dam devourerers of God is sick name bro almost makes me hope this is foreshadowing

-j i m

-the way chapter 2 faded out like that is sus this is foreshadowing for sure

-GREG

-oh okay so this is just real fucking life then?

-well that makes me scared about the devorous of God thing especially cuz the circle things I keep seeing

-this is ominous bro

-this game is underestimating how much of a dumbass I am wtf is happening I'm walking in circles

-made it back to the circle rock

What.

Why did it restart

Gyys I'm too dumb for this

Circle rock again

Help I'm in the dark now had to turn off my lights what do I dooo I'm so bad at this

it restarted avajn fml

I sent out a post as a cry for help but I might just have to look up a tutorial

FUCK IT. I'm going to sleep.

Goodnighttt I made like nooo fucking progress despite playing for two hours

@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow