#what if i started sobbing right here and now

[motorsportbarbie13]

The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Theo's First Race

Having a child changes Max in a way he never could have predicted.

warnings: none, this is 100% self indulgent fluff. Pairing: max verstappen x podcaster!reader word count: 3.1k words

yourusername posted

459,029 likes liked by maxverstappen1, assistantshannon, jennythenanny, and others yourusername texas will always hold a special place in my heart. last year, we learned i was pregnant for the fourth time with what we hoped was our miracle baby. this year we get to bring that miracle baby to the track with us for the very first time. my entire heart is so full watching this all come full circle. i cannot wait to show theo how amazing his daddy is when he gets in that car. maxverstappen1 my two favorite people here this weekend. i can already tell this is going to a good race <3 user0198 i cannot handle the amount of dad max content we get. user111 max carrying Theo kangaroo style in a baby carrier??? sobbing rn >>>user0019 SERIOUSLY jennythenanny ah! so excited to be with you guys this weekend!!! >>>yourusername theo is so excited to be back with his bestie! >>>jennythenanny eeeee! cannot wait! >>>user020 why is this the cutest exchange i've ever read

“Maybe we should leave Theo here with Jenny today instead? Max says, concern settling into the corners of his eyes. 

You look over at him, eyebrow raised, from your seat on the floor of the hotel suite. In front of you, five month old Theo is on his tummy staring up at you with his signature gummy little grin. The three of you were in Texas for the US GP, which was supposed to be Theo’s first time in the paddock but apparently, your husband was having second thoughts. 

“What? Why?” You ask, confused. 

Max had checked the weather (multiple times) this morning and had declared that it wasn’t going to be too hot for Theo to be out and about. The sun was out and there was a gentle breeze whispering through the trees outside your hotel room. Max was leading the championship for the first time this season and he was starting on pole. COTA was historically a really good track for him and you were confident in his chances at winning. Plus, COTA meant a lot to you. It was right here in this very hotel that you had found out you were pregnant with the little elf that was babbling up at you right now. 

Max wrings his hands together, casting a worried glance down at his two favorite people in the world. With how dramatic Theo had come into the world so early, Max had found himself being a little extra protective over him. And you for that matter. He had refused to hear any talk about bringing Theo to the track before this weekend and after seeing all of the crowds at the track yesterday for the practice and sprint qualifying, he was having second thoughts 

“There were just so many people and I don’t want him to get lost.” 

You chuckle before reaching forward to take Theo in your arms. Standing up, you cross the room to where Max stands and hand him his son. Max instinctively reaches out, cuddling Theo to his chest. Watching Max become a dad over the last five and a half months had been one of the most rewarding things you’d ever been privileged to witness. He had slipped into the dad role so effortlessly it had surprised Max, probably due to his own childhood and difficult past with his father. You weren’t surprised though. You had known the moment that Theo was born that Max had been born to be a father. It really was that simple. 

“Baby, he can’t walk. He won’t get lost, I promise he’ll never be out of his sling for more than five minutes.”

“No one holds him other than you and Jenny?” 

You blow out a breath, unsurprised at how he’s gone into papa bear mode. You had seen it on his face yesterday during sprint qualifying. He had surveyed the paddock crowds with a deeper than usual frown on his face, making comments whenever he heard an errant cough or someone clear their throat. ‘Cesspool of germs’ was a phrase he used more than once, now that you thought you it. 

“Yes, my love. He will stay in the sling with me and Jenny no matter what. I have his ear defenders here too and we’ll keep to hospitality. But I know he’d love to see where daddy works. You know how much the sound of those engines sooth him.” 

Max pokes a finger into Theo’s chubby cheek, cooing nonsense at him as Theo giggles back. His mind flickered back to one particularly hard night right after you had brought him home from the hospital during the summer break. Theo had been a bit of a colicky baby back then and the hours between 1 and 3 am were often the worst. He would scream and cry for hours, unable to be soothed back to sleep despite all of his needs being met. This night, in particular, was difficult and you had been on hour four of trying to get him to settle. In a desperate attempt to try something, anything that might work, Max had turned on an old race, but just the ambient sounds of one of his wins from YouTube, without any commentators voices. The sounds of the engines revving had instantly calmed Theo down. 

Both you and Max had stood there in your apartment, lights dark with the exception of the glow emanating from the tv in front of you, as Theo had stared unblinkingly at the television, tears still puddled in his little neck folds, but totally quiet and enthralled. 

Max’s eyes dart over to yours and you smile, reaching out a hand to touch his elbow. “I know you’re nervous, baby but Theo will be fine. He’s going to have so much fun, and I know once you get to the paddock with him in your arms, you will too.” 

He sighs, knowing that you’re right. You usually are when it comes to matters involving Theo. “Okay, but first person to cough on him gets banned from the paddock.” 

The Miami sprint race had been your first race all those years ago when Max had swept you off your feet that very first weekend he flew you to him so it seemed fitting that Theo’s first trip to a race was also a sprint race weekend. Max parked the sensible but giant Ford Explorer that he had insisted on driving this weekend in his designated spot before hopping out, telling you not to move. 

You giggle to yourself, amused that even after all this time, Max still insisted that you never touched a door handle while he was with you. Even on hectic days like these, you and Theo were always in the front of his mind. 

When Max opens your door, his hand immediately finds yours as he helps you out of the tall car. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” He asks, dropping a kiss onto your forehead before moving to the back seat to get Theo from his carseat. 

“I’m so excited to be back, it feels like it’s been forever.” 

Which was true. After Theo had been born, he had needed to stay in the NICU for quite a while. Max had nearly missed the race in Spain the weekend after Monaco because he had refused to leave your side. In the end, it had been Daniel that had convinced him that missing Spain would be detrimental to his championship hopes. Max trusted Daniel with his life and knew that his friend, someone who he knew had a good head on his shoulders, wouldn’t give him bad advice. He knew what missing a race would mean to everyone on the team and back at the factory. 

He had won the race with a 15 second lead. 

Your credentials hang heavy around your neck as you pull the diaper bag out of the back of the car, Theo already nestled securely in Max’s arms. It always made you chuckle, the way Max always seemed to have Theo. You swore whenever he was around, that baby never touched the floor or his crib. 

The pressure in your chest squeezes as you watch Max tote his little boy towards the paddock entrance. Both you and Max had made a conscious decision to keep Theo’s face out of your social media, with the exception of very carefully curated images that you and Max tightly controlled so this was the first time Theo would be photographed by anyone but you and Max. You knew the fans, both yours and Max’s, wanted to see Theo and you hoped that bringing him into the paddock despite him being so young was well received and a positive experience. 

“Max! Who’ve you got there?” A photographer yells the moment Max scans his badge at the paddock entrance. Several photographers are standing by the gates, waiting on the driver arrivals. Max is dressed in his team kit, of course, and you’ve got your traditional navy blue on, today in the form of a loose maxi dress that would allow you to maneuver while caring for Theo during the race. Even Theo had a Red Bull onesie on with gray shorts pulled on over his chubby little legs. 

“The best team mascot in the paddock.” Max jokes, a smile crinkling at the corner of his eyes as he pauses to show off a now giggling Theo. 

Your heart catches in your chest when you see the look of pure happiness on your husband’s face. There were few things that brought out a smile that bright on Max and the fact that him showing off your baby to the world was one of those things had your heart hammering in your chest. You watched as Max showed Theo off to several of the photographers and Red Bull staff members, seemingly forgetting all about his hesitations from earlier. Theo loved it too, the sights and smells and sounds were so much for him to take in and he was so content to be in his daddy’s arms just taking it all in. 

“Mon petit lion!” A voice rings out as the three of you walk towards Red Bull’s garage. You grin, watching as Charles fusses over Max refusing to give up custody of Theo but eventually relents. “Give me my godson, you heartless man. Keeping the poor little man away from the track for five months! Horrific!” 

“He’s a literal infant, Charles.” Max argues, a full on pout popping out of his full bottom lip. You suddenly have to quell the urge to bite it, he looks so handsome. 

“Your gorgeous wife told me how much he loves the sound of my Ferrari.” Charles argues back, bouncing Theo up and down, eliciting a peal of giggles tumbling from your baby’s lips. 

Max shoots you a glare that has ‘you’re a traitor’ written all over it. All you do is reach up on your toes to peck him on those full lips of his, completely ignoring the annoyed look he still regards you with. 

“It was the sound of my Red Bull that calmed him the first time.” 

“Keep telling yourself that, Max.” Charles chuckles before handing Theo back to you, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “I’m so glad you two are here, the paddock ins’t the same without you.”  

“Thank you Charles.” You say, cuddling Theo into your shoulder just a little tighter. 

As the three of you continue on, your final destination being the garage so Max can check on the car, your pace is just a bit quicker than Max’s. He watches you for just a moment, the way Theo’s chubby arms wrap tightly around your neck as he takes in the buzzing activity of the paddock. His heart squeezes fiercely at the way your hips sway back and forth as you carry his baby on your hip. This was how it was always meant to be: his wife and his child at his side while he worked. He had always pictured this day in a way that always seemed like it would come sometime in the future. That was the strange thing about how life progressed. Suddenly, some day is here and you’re watching your wife cuddle your miracle baby. When Max thinks of that afternoon in London all those years ago when he made his way into the recording studio to be on some silly little podcast, he had no idea that this was where that interview would lead but here he was, every single one of the fantasies he had dared to hope for right in front of him. 

You turn back to Max, sensing that he’s fallen quite a bit behind. The look of awe on your husbands face as he watches you has your heart aching. You knew that the past few months had been hard on Max. He hated being away from you, had even tried to float the idea of retiring mid-season. You had flatly refused, saying that everyone in the factory and the garage was counting on him and eventually, he had agreed. But you knew being here was a balm to his lonely heart and you were wildly happy that Theo was finally old enough to accompany Max on this triple header. 

But looking at the way his eyes shined with unshed tears as he stands stock still in the middle of the paddock, just staring after what you know is his entire world, you feel something lock into place. Something that you’re going to have to discuss with him later tonight. 

“Come on, Maxie.” You call as you hoist Theo up higher on your hip. “You’ve got a meeting with Horner and I don’t want him yelling at me because you’re late.” 

Max seems to snap out of the trance he’s in then and chuckles. “Christian is terrified of you, liefje. He’d never yell.” 

You shrug, “I suppose you’re right.” 

Max slips his fingers into yours before giving them a squeeze. “Come on, let’s introduce the little lion to the garage.” 

Max wins the sprint that day, just like the first sprint you watched him win all those years ago. The nostalgia you felt watching him pull up into that first parc ferme spot had something twisting deep in your stomach. It was so satisfying watching Max do what he loved while you held his little boy in your arms. 

It was a whirlwind of media after his win and then he was swept off for race debrief before qualifying for the Grand Prix the next day. By the time Theo’s bedtime rolled around, Max was still busy in engineering meetings. You sent him a quick text telling him you were taking Theo back to the hotel to put him down. Max had wanted to tell you to wait, he’d be right there, but he had known this wasn’t true. He knew that it was going to take several more hours to wrap up all his duties on the track so he reluctantly agreed. 

This was the part of racing he hated. The late nights, the long flights to every corner of the world except to where it mattered most, the danger that lurked on the track. He hated being away from you, had always hated being away from you. Despite his reservations about you quitting your job all before you had gotten pregnant with Theo, he was glad that you had spent those few years traveling with him. It wasn’t about the fact that you ‘followed him around’ like some publications liked to taunt. It was the fact that Max was able to do what he loved while providing for his family and keep you close at the same time. 

But things had shifted when Theo had been born and his priorities had changed. Having you at the track wasn’t an option anymore, not with how little Theo was. And even now, at 5 months old, he knew that this wasn’t sustainable. The options of what to do after this season all played in his head as he got into the car late that night to head back to the hotel. He knew he had a big decision to make, one that had been many years coming. 

It’s dark by the time Max fishes the keycard to the hotel room out of his back pocket. You have a two bedroom suite booked this weekend so he’s not worried about waking Theo, although he still holds out a little hope that he might be awake. It’s been hours since Max has seen him and the only thing worse than being away from you for an extended period of time is being away from both of you. 

The door whispers open and Max spots you laying down on the couch, staring blankly at the tv in front of you. On the coffee table sits the baby monitor and a bottle of wine. 

When you hear the door snick closed, you pick your head up, blinking sleepily towards the door. “You’re home.” You whisper, sitting up so Max can join you on the couch. 

He immediately pulls you into his lap, nuzzling deep into your neck. “I’m home.” He breathes, letting your perfume settle over his senses like a warm, familiar blanket. 

“I’m so proud of you. Sprint win and P3 for tomorrow.” 

“Thank you, schatje. How was your night? How’s the baby?” 

You hum softly, your lips finding Max’s in the dark. They’re warm and inviting and everything that sets your soul on fire. You’re fairly certain that you’ll still feel this way when you’re 90 years old kissing Max late at night. “He’s good. Just finished his last bottle of the night, went down like a champ.” 

“That’s my boy. I’m sorry I missed bedtime tonight.” 

You pull away so you can look at Max’s clear blue eyes. You’re a little surprised to see a bit of sadness sitting in those baby blues you love so much. “It’s okay baby. He did just fine without you.” 

Max frowns before pulling you closer. “And that’s what breaks my heart. I don’t want him to grow up without me.” 

You chuckle, “Oh, Max. He’s not going to grow up without you. If you really want, you can do the middle of the night feeding. He’ll be up in a few hours anyway.” 

Max nods, he usually did those late night feedings anyway. He loved the way the entire world was hushed and asleep. He felt cocooned in the most calming way and those nights where it was just him and Theo were some of his favorite. 

Silence stretches out between you. Your heartbeat matches up with Max’s eventually and your eyes get a little heavy with his warmth pressed up against you. You’d missed this kind of calm presence that Max brought to your life. It was always there, of course, but sometimes it was a little further than you liked during the season. Having him here now was so soothing, making you feel like you could conquer anything that came your way. 

After a few quiet moments, Max’s deep voice finally breaks the silence. 

“I think I’m done after this season, liefje.” 

You’d had this conversation countless times over the years, so much so that the words don't even make your heart race anymore. There’s something different in Max’s voice tonight, though. He sounds tired, worked over, resigned. Like the years spent on the road are finally catching up to him and you know, deep in your chest that it’s time. 

“I know, Max.” You whisper, dropping your forehead to his before brushing a kiss against his nose. “Come home to us. Theo and I are ready to have you all to ourselves now.” 

And that's exactly what happens.

maxverstappen1 posted

5,039,504 likes liked by yourusername, redbullracing, f1, and others maxverstappen1 this sport has been part of my life for most of my time here on earth. i started in karting not long after i started walking. motorsport brought me to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. 7 championships. the love of my life. my child. this sport has brought me to all of the most important milestones of my life. but all good things must come to an end. i've achieved everything i set out to do all those years ago and my priorities have shifted. at the end of may, i became a father and suddenly that pull to retirement got stronger. @/username knows how many times i threatened to quit mid-season so it wasn't a surprise to her when i came to her after texas and told her it was time. after twelve seasons racing in the pinnacle of motorsport, i'm officially announcing my retirement. to my team, thank you. you have forever shaped who i am. to my wife, i love you. you are all the good things in this world and i am so lucky you chose me to be your husband. to my theo, you changed me in a way no one else has. being your dad is the most important job i've ever had. i can't wait to watch you grow into the person you're destined to become. to my fans, thank you. your devotion means the absolute world to me and i would not have made it to where i am today. thank you, from the bottom of my heart. yourusername theo and i are so so proud of you. welcome home, my love. >>>user9292 *sobbing* charlesleclerc congratulations on a lifetime of acheivments. can't wait to see what you do now, my friend!! lando congrats GOAT. excited to finally not be asked 'how does it feel to lose to max verstappen?' EVER AGAIN >>>charlesleclerc now it'll be 'how does it feel to lose to charles???' >>>lando stfu redbullracing we're not crying, you're crying!!! lewishamilton you will be missed, max. enjoy retirement with that gorgeous family of yours!

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[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

ice cream - s. itoshi

itoshi sae hated the current situation that he was in.

mud squelching underneath his boots, sae held the soccer ball in his hands carefully, only the tips of his fingers touching the mud-covered soccer ball. rin had accidentally kicked it too far away, and just as sae went to go get the ball, it started raining.

no, pouring.

at the ripe age of nine years old, sae knew very well of what he liked and disliked. he liked salted kombucha tea. he disliked interviewers and the media. he liked seagulls. he disliked people giving him expectations. he liked the end of summer. he didn’t like overly emotional people. he loved soccer. he hated school. he loved rin.

he just didn’t know how to feel about you.

you were his next door neighbor, and you were…strange? no, that wasn’t the right word. but sae didn’t know what way to describe you; you cried over small things, you ate far too unhealthy, and you talked to him a lot. but at the same time, you were kind to rin, you would use your allowance to buy sae bottles of water when he ran out during practice, and you never seemed to mind his rude nature. he would sometimes buy you ice cream to repay you for buying him water, which you always beamed at.

his heart would stutter just a little at the sight of you, his cheeks would warm just a little bit at your compliments, and his eyes would glimmer just a little at the sight of your smile.

choked sobs were the last thing that sae expected to hear in the pouring rain.

your bike next to you and your hands grasping the bike handles, warm tears rolled down your cherry colored cheeks uncontrollably. raising an eyebrow, sae decided to stay outside just a little bit longer. “what now?” sae asked, walking over to you through the puddles of water that begin to form. you began to choke out something incoherent before sae rolled his eyes, scoffing. “speak clearly. you sound like you belong in an asylum.”

“t-the ice cream! it’s gone! they don’t have it anymore! and i went to a farther store to get one, but theirs was too expensive!” you exclaimed, wiping away your tears rapidly, the rain running down your hair. sae’s head tilted to the left slightly, furrowing his eyebrows.

“the ice cream…?” he thought of the ice cream shop nearby, the one he always bought you and rin ice cream from.

“the type that you first bought me! the vanilla flavored one with the popsicle.”

oh, that one. sae didn’t get it; it was just an ice cream, what was so special about it? you could literally just buy it online or something. “you just said that another store had it.” he pointed out. “can’t you just borrow some of your parents’ money or something?”

“it was 300 yen, and i only have 210 yen on me.” you muttered. “and mama and papa are already having a hard enough time with money. i dont wanna keep on bothering them.” sae frowned; god, why couldn’t this just end quickly? it was raining so damn hard.

“it’s still just an ice cream.”

“no, it’s not!” you cried. “sae, this was the first ever ice cream you bought me, this was the ice cream i ate when my parents divorced, the was the ice cream i ate when i did bad on a test to feel better, this was the ice cream i ate when i did good on a test to celebrate, and this was the ice cream that i always buy.” you sniffed.

sae blinked. this ice cream was special to you…because this was the first ever one that he had bought you? his heart raced unbearably fast, to the point where he could hear his heart beating in his ears. his face was on fire right now despite the cold rain hitting his head and shoulders every moment, and he glanced away.

“wait here. i’ll be back soon.” sae ran back into his house, ignoring his parents’ calls of concern and rin’s desire for the soccer ball, and emptied his piggy bank.

3000 yen. that was enough for you to buy ten of them.

he ran back outside to you, and he couldn’t help the slight softness of his features when he realized that you’ve stopped crying. he shoved the money into hour hands, looking down at you. when you looked up at him as if he were some sort of saint, his face hardened, and he scowled. “this is only because your crying is annoying. and don’t go back to that farther store until the rain stops, because you’ll just get hurt and start crying to me again.”

despite his unbelievably rude words, you beamed. “thank you, sae! you’re so kind!”

sae swore that he could feel his heart exploding.

years later, sae is back from spain to renew his passport. he’s staying at his house for a while; after all, he’s always been the favorite child. he takes a walk around the neighborhood just to relive the nostalgia before he has to inevitably return to spain in a month or so. as he’s walking, his eyes eventually linger on the old ice cream store that he used to buy you and rin ice cream at.

with thinking, he slides the familiar glass door open. one popsicle with no sugar or artificial flavors won’t hurt him. as he’s scanning the freezers, his eyes zero in on one.

a certain vanilla flavored popsicle.

his eyes can’t help but soften as he remembers that day in the rain, and he picks the popsicle up, walking to the check out counter. he’s glad that it’s in stock again, although it probably took a while. at the checkout counter, he expected to see the kind old auntie who owned the store, but instead, his jaw went slack at the sight in front of him.

it’s you.

you seem just as shocked as he is, the name tag pinned on your shirt reflecting off of the store’s plastic lights. sae’s eyes widen by just a fraction; he didn’t see you during his neighborhood walk yet, but he thought that you would just be busy or something. how ironic, the fact that you’re working in the very store you once cried over.

but sae can’t help but notice. he can’t help but notice the same glimmer in your eyes. he can’t help but notice how your hair is just a little bit longer.

he can’t help but notice how beautiful you look.

“you’re back!”

a/n: could you tell that this was inspired by that one scene in better than the movies? reading that book for the first time altered my brain chemistry. also, i know that i said i have a hard time writing for sae, so im just trying this out because this prompt fits best with him.

[rafesbuzzcutseason]

chasing city lights

chapter 20 - sweet time erasing you

synopsis: you move to new york to start fresh, hoping to find comfort in the city’s atmosphere. that’s when you meet sarah cameron, where she takes you to a concert and you catch sight of the lead band member, rafe cameron. it only takes a moment for you to realize you’re captivated by him. as sarah helps you navigate your new life in the city, you start to get pulled deeper into rafe's world—the music, the fame, the chaos. the more you get to know him, the more you realise that rafe is not just the rock star he seems to be. he’s wrestling with his own demons, and the last thing he needs is someone like you getting close.

masterlist

cw: language, angst, i recommend listening to sad beautiful tragic while reading this...

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the girls all arrived to your place as fast as they could, finding you in a state.

"oh my god" kie said, taking you in. all the girls did nothing but hold you as you fell to the floor, heartbreaking sobs escaping you.

sarah pulled you into her arms as you completely broke down. kie and cleo followed, wrapping themselves around you like they could physically hold you together while your entire world was shattering.

“it’s okay,” sarah whispered, even though it wasn’t. “we’re here. we’ve got you.”

but nothing felt okay. nothing felt real.

your chest ached like someone had physically torn it open, leaving you raw and exposed. sobs racked your body, each one more painful than the last, and no matter how tightly the girls held you, it didn’t stop the emptiness from swallowing you whole.

“i—” you tried to speak, but the words caught in your throat, another choked cry escaping instead.

“i know, y/n,” kie murmured, rubbing your back in slow, soothing circles. “i know.”

but she didn’t. none of them did.

“i can’t-” shaking your head. “i can’t do this. it hurts. it hurts so much.”

sarah tightened her hold on you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “i know, honey. i know it does.”

this wasn’t just heartbreak, this was losing him, losing everything.

"i don't know what to do." you cried.

"there's nothing you can do." cleo said, wiping your tears.

"i have no right to be upset, i broke up with him." you mumbled.

"you have every right to be upset." kie started, "this is raw, this is painful. you're going through heartbreak. allow yourself to feel this."

you swallowed hard, your breath still coming out in uneven gasps. "but what if he never loved me?" the words felt like glass in your throat, cutting you open on the way out.

sarah pulled back just enough to look at you, her brows furrowed, eyes filled with something close to anger. "don’t do that to yourself, y/n. you know he loved you."

"did he?" you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. "because it sure as hell didn’t take him long to replace me."

kie let out a sharp breath, shaking her head. "that doesn’t mean what you two had wasn’t real. but you were the one who walked away. he was always going to do something reckless after that."

you wiped at your swollen eyes. "well, congrats to him. he fucking won. he destroyed me."

sarah cupped your face, forcing you to look at her. "no. you ended it because you knew you deserved better. and that’s the strongest thing you could have done."

kie squeezed your hand. “ heartbreak is messy. it doesn’t make sense. it tricks you into thinking you need someone who hurt you. but you don’t, y/n. you don’t need him.”

but you did. at least, that’s what it felt like.

rafe had been your everything. your home in a new city, your comfort, your person.

and now?

now, he was just someone kissing another girl on your phone screen.

fresh tears welled up in your eyes as you pulled away, wrapping your arms around yourself like you could physically hold in all the pain. “i hate him,” you whispered, but the words felt hollow, not believing yourself.

because no matter how much you wanted to, you didn’t hate him. you hated how easily he seemed to let go. you hated that he got to be the one moving on while you were stuck here, picking up the pieces of something that had already shattered.

sarah sighed, running a hand through her hair. “you don’t have to be okay right now. but one day, you will be. and when that day comes, you’re gonna realise that you deserve so much more."

maybe one day, you’d believe that, but not today. not yet.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

a/n: i am very sorry about this one

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[v1x3n]

BLOOD. TEETH. GUTS! ── ripped apart.

♯ PAIRINGS - john price x falsely accused reader x 141

♯ SYNOPSIS - tortured for information by your family and the person you loved, john price. you were harmed for something you hadn't even done, you were framed as the traitor and soon they would find out.

♯ TAGS - angst - mentions of torture, breakdowns, violence, possible sa, argument, johnny being a dick, starving.

─ previous chapter // masterlist // next chapter ─

The buzzing fizzes up your ears. Constant. Painful.

It's like static. Yeah. Static blocks out all other senses, the only thing you could focus on was the ringing, forever ringing that fills your head.

Then you look up at him. The guy that caused the pain - well, one of the guys - the guy who's currently standing at the fucking door to your therapist's office.

Why does HE need therapy?

Your eyes were full of shellshock, the memories of the eyes you were looking into, feral as they glared at you whilst ripping your teeth out one by one. But now they look at you, sadness overfilling the wet eyes. The corners are red, just as yours are. Just as yours will always be. Breathing slightly picks up as you stand up.

"I'm sorry, do you two know each other?" Jones starts to speak, following you with her eyes when your legs shake slightly, your movements taking you slowly to the right. Moving to the side of the sofa. "Why the f-fuck are you here." your breathing picks up vastly. Flashes of blood, teeth and guts pop into your head as you're reminded of what he did to you.

"Oh god, fuck- y/n." Johnny steps forward, closing the gap between you two as your breathing thins. Short sharp breaths you inhale and exhale. "Why the fuck are you here!" demanding an answer you didn't want. "Jones is my therapist, trust me, she helps tons." Johnny says casually. As if you two were friends, fucking friends. This wasn't casual though. You were fuming, steam almost flowing out of your ears, your face glowing red.

"What the fuck do you need therapy for?" you scoff, your eyes looking at him up and down, giving him the hackiest of looks. Eyes squinting, trying to see what he truly wanted, trying to see underneath all the lies that dared to utter from his mouth. "A lot of people go to therapy, y/n-" Jones starts but you cut her off, fury raging stronger than your natural kindness. "You. Don't. Fucking need SHIT!" Blood. Teeth. Guts.

You step forward, crashing all around you as you inhale the familiar scent of Johnny. The one you used to link to drinking together or that one time you accidently walked in on him showering and saw him using your shampoo. But now all you saw was when he would harm you. Hatred fuels through you as the scent overtakes you, a prick of tear showing at your waterline. Dripping down your angry face.

"I- bonnie-" he steps back. The tension in the room filled it, an overwhelming atmosphere all around you - you couldn't be here anymore. Your breathing picked up faster than before as everything seemed to move at 2 times speed. "Fuck off!" you barge past him, making sure to push him into the doorframe as you walk by.

Johnny grunts as he hits the wood. The hard frame probably bruised him but fuck him. You didn't care. Actually, you hoped he was hurt. You hoped he would feel the pain that you did - that he put you through. And it would take a lot more than a small push.

It was a stupid idea to follow you, wasn't it?

Tears stream down your face as you scream at him, "you fucking dickhead!!"

Blood. Teeth. Guts.

The images flash through you as his hand reaches toward you, "Y/n, I'm sorry. We made a mistake." "no fucking shit!!" swatting his hand away from you, he couldn't fucking think for a second that you would let him near you. He was lucky you touched him when you barged past him, he was lucky you were talking - well screaming - to him. He was lucky you didn't kill yourself after everything. "I told you! I fucking told y-you that it wasnt me!" sobbing out whilst shouting at him, hitting his chest with more and more anger as you continue to talk.

"Why do you need fucking therapy? Was it so hard for you when you tortured me? When you ripped my teeth out? When you CUT my fingers off?"

People around you were looking. But you didn't care, you didn't care about the stares. All you cared about was your rage. You hadn't let out much emotion since it happened, nothing but what was burning inside of you. Every person you knew told you that you needed to let it out before it started spilling. You were just letting it out. This wasn't even half your rage.

"I didn't fucking want to - and yes it was hard! You were my best friend!"

"And yet you didn't believe me?"

"how- how could I? You would've done the same thing if you got told I fucking betrayed you."

You look up at him, misery in your eyes. "I would've found more fucking information before ripping someone's teeth out!" you hiss spitefully at him, glaring at him as you do so. You were so sick of that fucking excuse, 'we had to do it', bullshit.

They didn't have to strip you, they didn't have to tie you up, they didn't have to starve you. They didn't have to be so fucking cruel about it all.

"You don't fucking understand how hard it was for me to do that."

"Excuse me, you two need to calm down" a doctor walks up to the two of you, surrounded by some other doctors, yet you ignore them. Your eyebrows rise in utter shock. "I'm sure it was really fucking hard!" You yell at him. Blood. Teeth. Guts. Drops spill down your face at a rapid speed. The doctor's eyes dart between the two of you, concern etched into his features. He takes a deep breath. "Please, you two are upsetting patients. Let's just all calm down." He suggests gently, hoping to diffuse the situation.

"'Calm down'" you mock, "Yeah! Sure! Let's just forget about fucking everything!" Your tears flow down your face as the man in front of you sighs. You step towards the man who harmed you, daring him to come closer. Your steps are like thunder as they stomp towards the man. "I'm sure you'd fucking love it!" Unable to contain your anger, you take a swing at Johnny. Blood. Teeth. Guts. Unluckily he swiftly dodged. After taking a deep ragged breath, you could hear commotion around you as the doctors rushed to you and closed in. Random hospital words that you didn't know were thrown around. You feel hands pulling you back, voices urging you to stop. Pulling you away from the situation but you wouldn't stop.

You defy, trying to push them off as you see Johnny being escorted away through glimpses of your tears. The images flash through your mind, over and over. On repeat. Blood. Teeth. Guts. Blood. Teeth. Guts. Like a never-ending cycle of rage. The security guards finally intervene, separating you from the doctors. As they try to escort you out, tears stream down your reddening face as you try as hard as you can to part from their aggressive grasp. As you get more and more uncooperative, a silver cold metal shoots into your neck - instantly effective as you slump into the many guards' arms.

Johnnys eyes are wet as he is brought away, looking over at you slanted in the many guys arms/ guilt and regret evident in his weary eyes.

[shikaizer]

STILL YOURS p.b x reader

summary : Paige is your wife for 4 years, until a huge fight occured between the two of you leading for a messy divorce. But your child needed paige, causing a situation that will pull the both of you back together.

warning : unresolved feelings, breakdown, cussing, bruise.

a/n : might make a part 2 leading to smut what do you guys think?

You groaned when the phone rang again, it was paige's number. paige badly wanted to borrow your 4 year old daughter, celes, she was the child both of you adopted because you have mentioned to her that you always wanted to have a child. so the two of you decided it was time for the both of you to be a mother, after taking care of all papers and legal rights both of you have embraced the child and loved her deeply.

Until, the both of you gotten a divorce, paige have packed all her things with celes crying, your heart sank that she had to witness all of this. But at this time paige had no choice but to leave.

till this day, celes is always looking for her other mommy but you aren't ready too see her ever again.

ignoring the fact that paige have been texting and calling you to let her meet her child and spend time with her beloving daughter, which you firmly declined and restricted her for even trying to think your going to accept.

paige|I want my child.

paige| i swear if you dont let me see her your going to see me in the fucking court

paige| dont be a dick and let me spend some time with her

you| lol suck my dick

paige| are you fucking serious?

paige| missed call ■

paige| answer the fucking call right now.

you let out a sigh answering the call and you leaned your back to the couch while caressing celes hair as she was sleeping on your lap.

"stop being difficult, im serious im going to call my lawyer." you scoffed hearing her voice to the other side. "look you should have thought about that when you left the both of us." you muttured back as if your in the right "you fucking threatened to kill me once i dont leave" she shouted and you laughed. "be greatful that im fucking sending her pictures to you." you spat.

"let me see our child." she stated opening her video looking over at the camera her blue eyes shining. "geeez" you breath out and opened the camera flipping them to show little celes sleeping on your lap, and obviously your thighs showing, you are wearing and extremely small cycling, you swear you heard paige cursed under hear breath but you let it pass.

"please let me borrow her im literally begging now." she muttured and you hesitated for a second and spoke up. "fuck okay god, i'll think about it." you groaned hanging up the phone.

. . .

with celes constant whining and crying you cant help but quiver your lips trying to calm her down. it was all so heavy for you.

"please my love stop crying.." you caressed celes back as she was having another tantrum. she always do this whenever and you dont understand why.

"i want mommy!!!" at this point, tears started to fall on your eyes as you sobbed, you are very stressed and its true that taking care a child by yourself is very hard, you always told paige you can handle her by yourself proving to her that both of you are doing good. while shes busy with her games as she was the top wbb player at this moment, truth be told, your starting to miss paige. whenever celes is having her tantrum she is there to calm her down, and would comfort you after, she made things easier actually.

you sighed and continued rubbing celes back as she starts to relax and drift off to a sleepy state. you made your way to her bed laying her down and tucking her comfortably. you sat on the edge of her bed looking around at her room, the one you and paige designed together chaotically.

you took out your phone and opened paige's contact number, you hesitated to move your fingers and looked up squeezing your eyes shut before turning your attention back to your phone typing 'im not letting you borrow our child, but you can come here tommorow and spend some few days.' you whined and plopped your body down the bed debating if you should send it or not, you decided not to and just let your phone sit beside you drifting off to sleep.

sensing the morning light behind your eyelids, you groan smiling feeling the comfort, you put your arm around celes to realize shes not in her bed, you quickly sit up rubbing your eyes thats when you hear celes laughing and talking, you felt terrified because it was only the two of you. you looked like a dumbass sitting down on the bed lots of thoughs gathering your mind.

you finally pushed yourself up walking outside, your jaw dropped seeing paige sitting on the couch while lifting celes up, both of them were playing, you stomped up to them and see paige's confused expression as she was met with a very not welcome expression.

celes looked over to you with a big smile plastered on her face. "yay mommy!" she exclaimed and signalled you to hug her, you didn't wanna ruin this moment for her since it has been long since she saw both her mommy together. you hugged celes tightly and you looked over at paige mouthing her 'what the hell are you doing here?' she raised her eyebrows and whispered 'are you high? you told me to come here.' you looked at her doubtful and celes pulled away.

"mommy hug!" she pointed at paige and you, your jaw dropped wanting to jump out of a window. paige took your hand and pulled you to her hugging you thightly while you fell to her lap. causing celes to jump and exclaimed as she ran to her room excitedly probably to get some toys.

you pushed yourself away from her touch and bit your lip. "you look like shit" paige looked up at you and you rolled your eyes smiling "thanks" you looked over at the sight of her bag celes walking out of the bedroom again holding a toy.

"whats with that big ass bag?" you raised your eyebrows and she chuckled "staying her for a week. i have no games till next month" as your about to speak celes spoke up. "a week! yay!" she exclaimed hugging paige. "we will go travel mommy please!!" celes pleaded and paige nodded. "yes baby we will."

You are giving paige the most scariest stare but she just smirked proud at you obviously winning over celes.

you looked over the time and it was almost lunch, you cursed yourself and rushed to the island kitchen. "hey um did you feed celes breakfast!?" you raised your voice for her to hear.

you heard no reply and scoffed putting out some ingridients that you will be preparing to cook. opening the faucet paige walked over to you, you pressed your weight on the counter looking over at her. "we need to talk." paige uttured and you frowned "about what?" you tilt your head and she sighed "are you always sleeping in? if i haven't gotten here celes would be now starving." she states walking closer to you. "n-no this was the first time i slept in." you state tripping on your own words "and she always wakes me up you know that." you added.

"no? when i came here she was sitting down at the couch by her self." your jaw dropped heart sinking "what if she did something in here that will be the cause of an accident?" she continued furious in her tone.

"your being iresponsible, you should give me the child and my mom will take care of her." you scowled shaking your head.

"not fucking happening." you turned your head back and chopped up some vegetables that celes loves.

"your crazy,i know you cant take care or her alone." she walked closer and you pushed her "leave me alone, your lucky im letting you stay here."

paige clicked her tounge taking your hand, stopping you from cooking. "im gonna fucking stab you i swear" you threatened and she rolled her eyes, and celes walked in looking at the two of you.

"mommy are you fighting?" you quickly shake your head smiling at her "nooo baby me and mommy are just talking" she squeled nodding taking paige's hand dragging her to the living room.

you sighed stressing out as you continued to do your cooking, throughout the lunch, it was akward for the both of you stealing glances at each other while your daughter was the only source of the noise.

paige decided to bring celes out a themepark, you dressed celes up, it was a win for you since you get to have the day for yourself. as they are about to leave celes was pouting. "why babygirl?" paige leaned down to her level as i stare at her.

"you need to kiss mommy" our jaw dropped and paige let out a smirk "okay then..." she leaned down to kiss you in the cheeks and celes shaked her head "in the lips!" celes whined and paige smiled covering her eyes with her hand, when paige was about to kiss you, your quickly put out your middle finger avoiding her and she rolled her eyes amused.

"there done. lets go?" celes jumped and nodded holding her mothers hand and going out.

having all the time by yourself, you made yourself comfy, cleaning the whole house and showering afterwards, you put paige's bag inside your bedroom the both of you used to share and bought extra blanket for her to use, your letting her sleep in the bed because it would be really cruel if you made her sleep on the couch assuming she will be staying for a week, you didn't dare get mad because celes seemed very happy about it.

finishing everything, you get all comfy putting on your favorite show in the tv. but drifting off to sleep.

your awoken by paige opening the door and gently closing it, lifting yourself to look at them, seeing celes knocked out sleeping as she was carried "aww our baby had too much fun." you cooed walking to them taking her away from paige's arms lifting her, walking to her room.

as you tucked celes in, you made your way to the living room. paige was plopped down on the couch manspreading staring at the tv. you sat down beside her not really close and the both of you made eye contact. she seemed tired and you awed.

"she was so energetic" paige laughed throwing her head back "she always been." you chuckled resting your body on the couch.

"hey whats this?" paige pointed at your arm, a purple bruise. "probably when i was doing chores." you shrugged and paige looked at you with a hint of worried.

"i knew it you cant take care of yourself alone." she spat and you rolled your eyes. "oh please. im doing just fine." deep inside your not, you fiddled with your fingers and she bring your chin up to look at her.

"i missed you." your eyes widen at the sudden confession. you never expected this and it was making you dazed.

"you missed me...?" you asked unsure and she nodded shifting closer to you warmth tangling. "yes, so damn much" you took a heavy breath and your face softened. your in shock and in confusion as you kept quiet.

"please say something." she muttured looking at you the lingering sensation in the air have you choked.

"mm..sorry.. i miss you too.." you confessed and smiled. "when you left, i tried to stay strong for celes. but i always fail." you started sobbing looking down and paige kissed your forehead.

"but...fuck.. you know? i just needed you as always.." you sighed and buried your face on her neck.

"i know love i know..." she whispered calming you down.

she kissed your jaw ane spoke up.

"i need you...." .

[quokkaholic]

Babysitting skz hyung line

Warnings/ tags: headcannons/drabbles, pure fluff, babies, toddlers. Not edited

Synopsis: You are an uncle/aunt and the members of skz accompany you babysitting. Some are babysitting a 10-12 month old boy and the others, a 2-3 year old girl (indicated in the subheaders by b or g). Most of the hyung line are written babysitting the niece. 

y/a,u/n= your aunt/uncle name

y/n/n= your niece’s or nephew’s name

A.n: I don’t think any member of skz has an aversion towards kids, but I think some like kids more than others and are therefore more accustomed to caring for them. 

.•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•.

Bang Chan (g)

There is no escaping Chan’s fatherly nature; he would be so unbelievably good at babysitting. You’d try to take the lead when watching your niece and shoulder all the hard parts, but his caring soul and love for you (and her) would override his desire to relax. 

Nap time is always the hardest time of day, even harder than actual bed time. Tears start streaming down your niece's face as soon as you turn the light to her room off; she knows what's coming. Her cries quickly become sobs as you ask her to pick out a book for you to read to her. You instructed Chan to wait in the living room, as you knew this wouldn't be particularly pleasant. Your niece has unmatched fomo causing her to bawl everyday at nap time no matter how much you reassure her that it is okay to rest, that you will be there when she wakes, but the added excitement of having her favorite uncle there makes her even more reluctant to lay down. If only you could just get her to calm down; you know as soon as her little head hit the pillow, she would be out like a light. Her chest heaving as she shouts out shaky wails. No matter how often you watch her, it never gets easier for either of you.

Starting to feel overwhelmed, you take a break from trying to coax her into bed with stories and back rubs, you even tried her favorite music box. Head falling into your hands, you rest your elbows on your knees. You try to calm your own mind, but it's near impossible with her repetitive screams. At the sound of the door opening, your gaze flies to the exit. If she leaves the room, you’ll never get her down. Instead of seeing her small hands grasping at the knob, your misty eyes lock with the concerned face of Chan. Your niece’s screams only get louder, now incorporating her nickname for Chan between sobs. He slowly walks in and takes a seat next to you before tightly wrapping his arms around your shoulders and giving a squeeze as he gives a comforting, prolonged kiss to your temple. Upon letting go of you he opens his arms in invitation to the little one, she immediately obliges, waddling into his chest, letting out shaking breaths as her crying begins to cease. His ability to console is truly other worldly as he coos at her,

“Hey it's okay. We will miss you while you nap, but we are here to hangout with you all day okay? How about we have your y/a,u/n hold you while I sing to you, yeah? That sounds nice, right? They seem sad too. Will you help me make them feel better?” he persuades her while passing her small frame into your lap. At his request, her tiny arms reach up to wrap around your neck, smooshing her damp cheek to yours. She doesn’t even make it through the first song before her soft snores are mixing with Chan’s sweet lullaby. You are able to give him a grateful look before you to partake in a blissful nap. 

Lee know (g)

I don’t see Lee know as being super interested in just any kid, especially before they can talk, but once he gets to know them, he would cherish the time he got to spend with them. He especially likes playing pretend with your niece and attempting to teach her different skills.

Lee know is surprisingly good with your niece, so good in fact, you worry that she likes him more than you despite only seeing him less than a handful of times a year. She always clings to him so tightly, wanting every ounce of his attention. You can’t fault her; you feel the same way. When you walk through the front door, her face alights and she runs to cling onto his legs. Lee know will act like he doesn't like the attention, like her affection for him doesn’t melt his heart, but it so obviously does. A sweet grin pinching at his cheeks as he drags her back to her bedroom to play. 

You take time to say bye to your sibling before heading to the bedroom to join them, but as you approach, you hear bickering. Pulling the door open, you see Lee know on his knees beside your niece at her play kitchen, a tiny spoon in one hand stirring a pot “cooking” on the stove and blocking the opening of the pot with the other, rejecting the plastic ingredients your niece is attempting to throw in.

“I'm making soup, y/n/n! You don't put grapes in soup!” He gripes at her, matching her childish energy.

“Stop,” she whines drawing out the vowel,

“It’s good! It goes in it!” She is starting to get flustered, but Lee know won’t relent on his teaching, attempting to instill his chef skills as well as some emotional regulation in her.

“You don’t put fruit in kimchi jjigae, that would be crazy! Are you crazy?” He finally moves his hand from covering the pot to tickle her sides, defusing her oncoming tantrum without folding to her silly request. You can foresee the argument continuing when she regains her wits after her giggle fit ends, as her stubbornness can only be rivaled by his, so you suggest an alternative,

“How about we have Minho cook us some lunch, and we can help with the kiddy knife set he bought you?” Both of their faces light up at the idea. 

Changbin (b)

I think Changbin would be absolutely giddy around your baby nephew, thinking everything he did was hilarious. I think Bin would be obsessed with making him laugh just so he could laugh too.

You buckled your nephew into his highchair as Changbin warmed up the leftover spaghetti you guys were instructed to feed him; when you heard the choice in food, you thought it was a joke, but your sibling assured you that it was, in fact, not. Having half a mind that they left you such a messy meal on purpose, you preemptively removed your nephew’s clothes, as you knew the boys were about to make a disaster. Changbin offered to be the one to feed him. He could’ve been being considerate of you, but it's more likely that he just wanted to spend more time with the little one. 

He places the bowl in front of your nephew, theatrically moving the loaded spoon around chuckling as the boy’s eyes follow it through the air. The boys pass laughs back and forth as Binnie puts on a show for him and he squeals in delight, slapping the table. One slap goes a bit awry and hits the edge of the bowl sending pasta all over the highchair tray and into your nephew's lap, causing the room to burst into a giggle fest. You guys opt for allowing him to practice feeding himself with the spilled noodles, making an even bigger mess of his face and torso, as you and Changbin clean up the floor and nearby wall. 

You ask Bin to give your nephew a quick bath before his nap while you did some dishes and started preparing lunch for you two. He seemed a bit nervous at first, but after some encouraging words and a kiss from you, he was instilled with confidence. You don’t get far in cooking before their mixed laughter draws you from the kitchen to the doorway of the bathroom to find Binnie playing peekaboo with the washcloth and ringing a few drops of water on the baby's head after each surprise. You decided that lunch could wait; watching this was way more important.

Hyunjin (g)

I think Hyunjin would’ve been very worried about watching your niece for the first time, worried that he’d say or do something wrong or that would upset her. But, the moment they met, they became sassy best friends. 

The three of you sat at your niece's play table. The height and size of the chair causing both yours and Hyunjin’s knees to almost be tucked to your chests as you colored and drew using her vast array of art supplies. You’ve been working on sharing with her, but she only sees it as people should share with her and not the other way around. Hyunjin gives in to her every request, handing every crayon, marker, and pencil over to her greedy little hands even though she really only wants them because he is using them. You tried to stop him, but he’s too soft, especially when it comes to her, and she knows exactly how to flash the sweet eyes and melt his already squishy heart.

After finishing your drawing, you scan over the works of the other two artists. Hyunjin’s flowers are unsurprisingly stunning. You shower him with praise, commenting on how it looks cohesive despite only being able to use each color once, causing him to chuckle. Your niece joins in on the compliments copying some of your words, but for own work. Hyunjin hypes up her art heavily despite it just being an abstract jumble of scribbles, trying to be supportive. You decide to add,

“Wow y/n/n, so pretty! Is that a flower like Hyune drew?” you ask, trying to encourage her creativity. She only shoots you a judging, sideward glance that looks all too familiar, before responding with a flippant refusal of your guess. Hyunjin chimes in with a click of his tongue before mocking you in voice dripping in playful condescension,

“It's obviously a surrealist landscape,” dramatically rolling his eyes before continuing to add finishing touches to his piece.

“Obviously, y/a,u/n,” your niece parrots back to you, mimicking Hyunjin’s brazen tone perfectly without even looking up from her paper. 

“Babe, you are such a bad influence,” you reprimand him trying to hold in your laughter as to not encourage her insolent behavior. 

.•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•..•°°•.

maknae line coming soon

A.n pt.2: thanks for reading :) Sorry Chan's doesn't have a representative photo. I didn't want a photo of a random crying child. Didn't fit vibe

Pic creds: x x x

-mo💜

Masterlist

[paucubarsisimp]

TI'll have to place an order on that wonderful account!

PI could make a long fanfic where s/n fights with her mother, and is kicked out of the house by her. But before leaving the house, s/n's mother breaks her cell phone. So s/n goes to Irene's house (House Cubarsi's) However, the person who answers the phone is her younger brother, who s/n is not very close to. He sees s/n with a wet and swollen face and gets a little worried, calling for Irene. When they find out what happened, Pau and Irene force s/n to go inside the house and sleep there. Cubarsí offers his bed for s/n to sleep in, but he doesn't accept, giving the excuse that he has an important game the next day, so he manages to get her to sleep in his room with great difficulty. When he is about to leave the room, y/n asks him to stay. And you can decide the ending! From angsty to cute!

MSorry for the long request, I really love your writing!

right here

pairing: pau cubarsi x reader

summary: in which your mum kicks you out and you go to the only place you can think of

warnings: angst, reader has bruises bc of her mum

a/n: tysm 🥹💕

you hadn’t seen it coming. one minute, you were sitting in the living room, your mum quietly cooking dinner, and the next... you were standing at the door with your things in your hands, your phone smashed beyond recognition. she had kicked you out. not even a second chance. no argument. no reason, other than “you were a disappointment,” her words ringing in your ears.

you'd been trying to be the person she wanted for so long. but it was never enough. now, here you were, stumbling down the street with no idea where to go. you didn’t even care about the tears falling down your face, or how the bruises on your cheek stung with each step. you didn’t care. not anymore.

without thinking, you found yourself at the front door of irene’s house. irene, pau’s older sister, was like a second mum to you. you’d been over to her place countless times, always welcomed, always accepted. but when pau answered the door, you weren’t sure what to expect. his usual smile quickly disappeared when he saw you.

“y/n?” pau’s voice was soft, concerned. “what happened to you?”

his gaze shifted to the bruises on your face, the tear streaks. his eyes darkened in worry, his hands reaching for you before he could even think twice.

“pau… i… i don’t know where else to go,” you stammered, barely able to form the words through your sobs.

“what happened? why are you—” he started, but irene appeared behind him, catching sight of your condition and immediately rushing over.

“oh my god,” irene whispered, her voice tight with concern as she gently cupped your face. “pau, we need to get her inside. now.”

pau didn’t hesitate. he ushered you into the house, his arm wrapped around your shoulders protectively, leading you to the living room. your hands shook as you tried to steady yourself, your breath ragged.

“y/n,” pau whispered, sitting you down gently on the couch. “just... just stay here. we’ll get you cleaned up, okay?”

but you didn’t feel okay. the weight of everything, the chaos in your life, it all hit you at once. and before you could stop it, the tears came again, harder this time.

pau’s hand brushed against your back, his touch warm but so gentle. “it’s gonna be okay. we’re not going to let anything happen to you.”

irene disappeared into another room and returned a few moments later with some first aid supplies, quietly tending to the bruises on your face. her quiet presence was comforting, but you felt so small in this moment, so helpless.

“you’ve been through so much,” irene murmured, applying a cold compress to your cheek. “no one should treat you like that. i’m so sorry, y/n.”

you nodded silently, unable to find the words to explain how much it hurt. everything with your mum, the years of trying and failing to make her proud, had crushed something deep inside you. and now, here you were, broken in a way you didn’t even know how to fix.

pau sat beside you, his eyes never leaving you. his worry was so palpable, it hurt to look at him. “i don’t know what happened, but... i know you’re not alone, okay? we’ve got you.”

his words were soft, but you could feel the weight behind them. pau always had a way of making you feel seen, of making you feel like you mattered when everything else seemed to crumble.

after what felt like an eternity, the tears finally slowed, and you started to feel a little more like yourself again. the pain in your chest didn’t quite go away, but it dulled slightly, at least enough for you to breathe.

“thank you,” you whispered, looking up at pau, who was sitting beside you, his gaze never leaving you.

“you don’t have to thank me,” pau replied softly, his voice thick with emotion. “i’d do anything for you, y/n.”

irene left you two alone after a while, sensing the need for space. she gently kissed your forehead before disappearing into the kitchen. you could hear her talking to pau in hushed tones, but your mind was too scattered to focus on the words.

when pau stood up, heading for the door, you suddenly felt a tightness in your chest again.

“pau…” you barely whispered, your voice trembling. “please… don’t leave me.”

pau froze, his hand on the doorknob. he turned around slowly, his face full of worry. he crossed the room to you in two strides, kneeling down in front of you.

“y/n, you’re not alone, okay?” his voice was a low whisper now, his eyes searching yours for any sign of reassurance. “i’m right here. i’m not going anywhere.”

but even with his words, you were scared. so much had happened today, so much had changed. but pau... pau was the one constant, the one person you could turn to, and that terrified you just as much as it comforted you.

“please stay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “just… don’t leave me tonight. i can’t be alone.”

pau’s face softened, and without another word, he climbed onto the couch beside you, pulling the blanket over both of you. his arms wrapped around you tightly, his chin resting against the top of your head. the warmth of his body, the comfort of his presence, was everything you needed right now.

“i’m not going anywhere,” pau murmured into your hair. “i’m here. you’re safe now.”

you nodded against his chest, closing your eyes, letting yourself rest for the first time in what felt like forever. in that moment, you weren’t alone. and for the first time that night, you felt a little bit of peace.

you didn’t know how long you stayed like that, just breathing together, letting the silence comfort you. eventually, though, you shifted, looking up at pau. his eyes were soft, his expression full of care.

“pau,” you whispered, “what if... what if i’m never enough? what if i can never be the person she wants me to be?”

pau’s thumb brushed against your cheek, wiping away a stray tear that you hadn’t even realized had fallen. “y/n, you don’t need to be anyone else but you. you don’t need to prove anything to anyone, especially not to her. you’re enough just the way you are. you are everything.”

those words hit you in a place deep inside, somewhere you’d been trying to protect for so long. the way pau spoke, so genuinely, so tenderly, it made you believe that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to be perfect. maybe you could just be you.

“thank you,” you whispered, your voice small but sincere.

pau smiled softly, the warmth in his eyes never wavering. “you don’t have to thank me. i’ll always be here for you. always.”

the room felt quieter now, calmer, with only the sound of your breathing, steady and slow. you curled closer to pau, letting the softness of his embrace envelop you, the ache in your heart gradually fading into a peaceful warmth. for the first time that day, you let yourself relax. you were safe. you were loved. and maybe, for the first time in a long time, you could believe it.

“you’re not alone,” pau murmured as he tucked you in closer, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “i’m right here.”

and with that, you finally let go, drifting off into sleep, knowing that everything, for tonight at least, would be okay.

don’t forget to leave a request!

[anniebeckcalla]

───make it right.

(bf! jaemin x reader) ◦ ₊ wc: 683 ◦ ₊ cw: fluff, slight angst, one use of swearing ◦ ₊ lowercase intended! ◦ ₊ navigation

you curled up in your bed, your head stinging, throat hoarse, and eyes rubbed raw from tears. with the strength of an invalid, you reached a hand out for the box of tissues that sat on your bedside table, only to be met with empty cardboard that sagged under your weight. with a little shriek, you slithered your arm back into your duvet fortress and allowed all hell to break loose as your sobs shook the bedframe.

what was making you feel so sorrowful?

rather…who?

no other than na jaemin, your ex. he was the one who had ended the relationship. “I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment yet,” he'd said, twirling a lock of your hair around his finger as he smiled sympathetically. “you deserve someone who you can love unconditionally.” “i only love you, jaemin,” you had sobbed, to no avail. for the past two weeks, you had made your bed and duvet your new home, refusing to look at your phone and eating nothing but strawberry soft scoop ice cream. your endless crying had forced you to use up all the tissues In your apartment- from the loo roll to the kleenex for visitors.

you didn't know if there was life without jaemin- he was like a part of your soul, the owner of your heart. not for the first time, you wondered what you could have done to make him back away. were you not pretty enough? were you boring? too sensitive? whatever. all you knew was that you were never recovering from this.

as you clutched your aching head, you heard a faint tap on the window. you ignored it, and continued to rock back and forth in vexation. the tap came again, and again. you stopped, uncovering your head, and looked towards the window. before your eyes, a pebble bounced off the glass. fury replaced your demeanour as you hopped out of bed and strode to the window, ready to scream at the cheeky youths who had chosen your house to be the target of a childish game. you opened the windows so hard that they almost flew off their hinges, and glared down, preparing to scream all the swear words you knew.

“you weren't answering the door!”

jaemin looked up, a smile spreading on his face as he raised one hand in a half wave. his other hand was holding a small bouquet of roses. when he saw you looking at them, he tried to conceal them behind his back. “go and do one,” you shouted, your eyes brimming with tears. “is this seriously the best you can do? after abandoning me, you turn up at my doorstep and try to break my windows?”

“y/n, i-” “-you'd have to use something a lot bigger than that, though, so that wasn't a good attempt. if you're here with those flowers to show me that you've already pulled another girl, then you can fuck right off!” a lady walking her dog on the opposite side of the pavement stopped, mouth agape. jaemin glanced behind him and saw her staring. “it's not a show,” he said, gesturing her off. once she'd left, he looked back up at you. “can i explain, please?” he said. you took a deep breath to stable yourself. “if you want to say anything, say it right now.”

jaemin pulled the flowers from behind his back. “i was wrong, y/n. i messed up so badly, and i hurt you. i thought that i wasn't ready for a relationship, but in reality, all i needed was to take some time alone.” he held up the roses. “can we start again, please?” your heart melted into a waxy puddle right then, but your rational self wanted to prove a point. “it's going to take a lot more than an poxy bunch of flowers to get me running back your way.” jaemin opened his arms wide. “then i’ll do whatever it takes to make things right again.” a smile spread across your face.

“alright. i'll be down to open the door in a minute.”

○○○

comments and reblogs greatly appreciated !! (´･ω･｀)

masterlist

taglist: @cigsaftersuh @jenoleeaesthetic @pl4netx1a @jeonghansshitester @herjaemin @chenlezip

click here!

[spnjediavenger]

I See You

Title: I See You

Type: [very long] one-shot; matt murdock x sister!reader, slight/implied peter parker x reader

Warnings: flangst, two swear words?

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of bullying, self-image issues

Spoilers: none

Notes: Y/f/r - your favorite restaurant

I'm on a big Daredevil kick as Born Again continues to approach and i am so fucking excited for it i can't even explain

So there’s the classic Daredevil trope of reader being self-conscious about her looks and Matt not knowing what she looks like - this is a different spin on that (though at some point i might make one in the typical manner 🤔)

As always, love and/or constructive/friendly criticism is welcome and encouraged!

Disclaimers: i do not own Daredevil, the comics, shows, or any of its plots/characters

Word count: 2444 (oops)

“Y/n, seriously, you shouldn’t listen to them,” Y/n’s best friend, Peter, told her as they approached her apartment building.

“You know it’s not that easy, Peter! Besides, you’re a guy. You’re not as sensitive about your looks as girls are,” Y/n defended, getting tired of the conversation.

“I get that, trust me, I do. I just wish you would be able to see yourself like I do.”

Y/n huffed and fought back the tears in her eyes. “Sorry, but I can only see myself the way that the rest of the freaking school does.” With that, Y/n turned and rushed into the building, leaving Peter to sigh and walk away to start his rounds of New York.

Seriously, why does anyone even hang out with her?

Because it’s the losers that do. Freaks have to stick together.

Her looks definitely aren’t the reason.

I feel bad for her family.

Well, it’s just her brother and he’s blind - so at least he doesn’t have to physically see  her every day.

Are you sure they’re actually related? Her brother is hot. She’s the ugly one. No way those two are genetically similar.

The next to last ‘whispered’ comment was the one that got to her. Not only was it an attack against her, but her brother had to be brought into it. But, ‘at least he doesn’t have to look at her every day…’ Was she really that ugly? Y/n never saw herself that way. She knew she wasn’t the prettiest girl at Midtown High, but she didn’t think she was that grotesque…

Finally, enough tears had collected in her eyes that they ran out of room and had to spill over and down her cheeks. Her nostrils flared and she bit her lip to keep from sobbing. She unlocked the door to her and Matt’s apartment, hurried in, locked the door, and spun around to rest her back against it, letting out a loud sob.

“Y/n?”

Y/n jerked her head up in surprise, covering her mouth for a moment. She sniffed and tried composing herself enough to speak. “M-Matt? What are you doing here?” she asked as her brother came around the corner, still in his work clothes minus his suit jacket and shoes.

“We uh…we had a slow day at the office so decided to close up early for the weekend…I sent you a text,” Matt said a little awkwardly, having noticed his sister’s state before she even got into the apartment.

Y/n frowned and grabbed her phone to check it.

Matty: Slow day at the office, starling. See you when you get home :)

She closed her eyes and sighed. Given the day she had, Y/n hadn’t even thought of checking her phone after school.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Matt asked, concern etching his features. 

“I…I just…” Y/n reached a hand up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I can’t right now, Matt…Later?” She knew there was no point in lying to Matt. Even without his super senses, he knew her better than anyone. And she also knew he wouldn’t let her off the hook knowing the state she was in.

Matt gave an understanding half-smile and nodded. “Later,” he agreed. He walked up to her and gave her a kiss on her forehead, rubbing her back a bit.

Y/n pursed her lips and went to her room, shutting her door, dropping her things onto the floor, and flopping onto her bed to try and nap her troubles away.

Y/n woke up about an hour later to the tail end of her phone buzzing next to her. Sighing. She rolled over and checked it.

Missed call from Peter

Knowing the reason he was trying to call, Y/n rolled her eyes and set her phone back on her nightstand. She ran a hand down her face and sighed again.

“Y/n? Do you wanna come out for dinner?” Matt called to her, knocking lightly on her door. 

Against her better judgment, The girl sat up and muttered a, ‘sure.’

She pushed herself up off the bed and walked to her door. Slowly opening it, she gave Matt a forced smile, letting him put a hand on her back and lead her to the kitchen. Matt had set out some food from a restaurant down the street - Y/n’s favorite. They sat down in silence, Matt keeping his empty gaze towards his food but the rest of his senses on his sister.

Fork scraping plate in circular motion, no sound of swallowing or chewing. She wasn’t even touching anything.

“Aren’t you hungry, Y/n? You usually never turn down Y/f/r,” Matt noted.

Y/n flicked her eyes up to his unseeing ones. The ones that didn’t have to see what she looked like. As she thought this, tears sprang to her eyes again.

Salt and moisture in the air. She was going to cry again.

Matt sighed and pursed his lips. He stood up and held out a hand to his sister. “Come here, Y/n.”

Y/n took his hand and he led her to the couch. They both sat down, Y/n pulling her legs up and hugging them to her chest. 

“Y/n…I know something is going on…and I know whatever it is clearly isn’t easy to talk about. I don’t like pushing you to talk about things but I think it would be better if you did. We can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s going on, yeah?”

Y/n nodded silently. “I know…It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

She sighed in frustration at herself. “It’s stupid, Matt.”

“Nothing that makes you cry is stupid, Y/n. And you’re one of the strongest people I know. So if something is upsetting you this much, I know for a fact it isn’t stupid.”

She looked at him and sniffled. He dipped his head a bit, encouraging her to speak. She sighed for about the millionth time that day and looked down at her hands. “Just…some kids at school were being jerks,” she finally relented.

Matt waited after her pause but realized he would have to prompt her. “I have a feeling it goes a little deeper than that,” he said gently.

Y/n started playing with her hands before speaking again. “They…they were talking about me being a freak…how they don’t know why anyone hangs out with me…” Y/n faded out as tears began a slow race down her cheeks again and her voice started quivering a bit. She was also hoping to not get to the worst of what they had said.

Matt sighed and bowed his head. He hated that his sister was being bullied. He also didn’t understand it. Of course she was everything to him but even if she wasn’t, she was an amazing person. “Look, Y/n…I know it’s easier said than done, but-”

“Matt, don’t tell me to ignore them or that I’m not what they say about me,” she warned hotly. “It’s easy for you to say that because you’re my brother and no offense but it’s hard to believe things like that when seemingly hundreds of other people think the opposite.”

Her brother paused for a moment, trying to think things through in the best way. “They think the opposite,” he repeated. “Thinking and knowing are two different things though, right? You told me what they think…so can I tell you what I know?” He waited for a moment, letting her know he wanted her to agree. She whispered an ‘ok’ and he nodded. “Your name is Y/n Murdock, daughter of Fighting Jack Murdock, and sister of Matt Murdock. You are incredibly smart - I know because you’re ranked in the top five highest GPAs in the school. You are incredibly kindhearted; you volunteer and are always helping others. You’re funny; even I can’t get Foggy to laugh as much as you do.”

Y/n sniffled and wiped a couple more tears away. “That’s all great but you can’t-” Y/n bit her tongue to stop herself.

Matt paused. “Can’t what?”

Shit. There was no going back now.

She closed her eyes and sighed, defeated. Opening her eyes again, she elaborated. “They…They weren’t just calling me a freak…they also talked about the way I look…that I’m ugly…how my looks can’t be the reason people hang out with me…”

Matt’s heart clenched and he could feel his stomach drop a bit. “And?”

Y/n wiped her nose on her sleeve and took a deep breath. “You can’t see me, Matt,” she whispered, voice shaking. “They ‘felt bad for my family’ but someone pointed out how you’re blind so you ‘don’t have to see me everyday…’ All those other things are great…but it’s a little different when it comes to how I look and…it’s just different, Matt.”

Matt ran a hand through his hair as he stewed in sadness. And this time he didn’t know what to say.

Y/n sniffled again. “...You don’t know what I look like, Matt. Not even when I was little…You went blind before I was born…It wasn’t right for them to bring up your sight but it…it just reminds me that it’s something I can’t get comfort about.”

Matt tilted his head back up in her direction. “How do you know I don’t know what I look like? Besides the obvious, I mean.”

Y/n frowned deeper. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t think I’ve asked others what you look like?” Y/n stayed silent but furrowed her brow, Matt hearing the scrunching of the hair. “When we were at the orphanage I’d always ask the nuns what you looked like. And as we both got older, I’d ask the other kids there, Foggy when we met him, Karen. Y/n, I don’t miss my sight as much as some people would think…but I’d be absolutely lying if I said I didn’t wish I could see what my baby sister looks like,” he said, voice wavering in the end. Y/n held in a cry as she saw tears collecting in Matt’s eyes. 

“More than seeing the sky one more time?” Y/n asked in a small voice.

“So much more than that. But I’ll take what I can get by asking others and from what I can feel. So in a way, I do know what you look like. From your beautiful h/c hair,” he ran a hand through her hair; “to your big e/c eyes,” he covered her eyes with his hand, making her huff a laugh and smile a bit; he moved his hands to her cheeks, “your even, beautiful smile”; “your perfectly proportioned nose,” he continued, pinching her nose between two fingers. Y/n let out a watery giggle and swatted his hand away, Matt smiling now too. “So even though I can’t physically do it, I still see you.”

Y/n’s smile faltered a little bit at that. She thought for a moment then frowned again. “You heard me and Peter outside the apartment,” she said as more of a fact than a question.

Matt nodded. “I did. And I know he wasn’t lying, Y/n. Just like I’m not when I tell you these things. Sure it may seem like we’re outnumbered by the negative voices in school but that doesn’t mean they’re right. Kids bully others ‘cause it somehow makes them feel better about themselves. They’re the ones with issues - not you. If they’re making fun of how you look then that just means they’re self conscious of their own looks. So trust the facts and opinions of those around you who care about you, because they’re the ones that matter.”

A few more tears fell from Y/n’s eyes and she leaned forward to hug her brother. Matt happily returned it, one of his hands holding her head and the other wrapped around her middle. “I love you, Matty,” Y/n said.

“I love you too, starling,” he smiled. He gave her a gentle squeeze before pulling away again. “You should probably give Parker a call.”

Y/n sighed. “Yeah, I was kind of a jerk to him, huh?” she said.

Matt smiled a bit. “You were in a vulnerable position, I think he’ll understand. Besides, with how big a crush you two have on each other I’m sure he’s already forgiven you,” he said, smirking when he heard Y/n’s heart skip a beat and felt heat radiate from her cheeks.

“I-...He-...N-No, what are you talking about? We’re just friends, Matt. Best friends. We don’t- I don’t-”

“Yeah yeah yeah, sure. That’s why your heart skipped a beat when I mentioned it and it’s been racing since then.”

“Stop listening to my heart! It’s weird!”

“And why you’re blushing.”

Y/n groaned and covered her face with her hands, falling back on the couch.

“Aw, come on, don’t cover your beautiful face, starling. It’s so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“Stop!”

“Go on, go call your crush and be all awkward on the phone,” Matt teased, poking at Y/n’s sides and trying to pull her hands away from her face.

She yelped and rolled off the couch, knowing full-well Matt could have kept her there but graciously let her escape the embarrassment for the moment.

“You’re my big brother - aren’t you supposed to be against me liking guys and threaten and scare them away?” she huffed as she stood up.

“So you do like him?” he said, smiling feraly from his place on the couch.

“I-...” Instead of incriminating herself further, she bolted to her room and shut the door behind her. “Damn lawyer skills!” she yelled, making Matt laugh out loud. “Don’t listen to my call!” she yelled again.

“I won’t!”

Matt shook his head and turned the TV on, listening in on whatever Y/n had been watching last.

In her room, Y/n went to grab her phone, freezing when she caught her reflection in the mirror on the wall. She dared a look and bravely stepped in front of it. She ran a hand through her hair and stared at herself for a moment.

Beautiful h/c hair, big e/c eyes, even, beautiful smile, proportioned nose. Easing into her smile, Y/n felt more at ease. She could finally see it. She was beautiful. The jerks at school were wrong. If her blind brother could tell these things, then anyone could. But what mattered most was what the people she loved and cared about thought. They saw her for who she was. And that was enough.

A/N: for anyone who suffers with self image - everyone is beautiful and special in their own unique way and please don’t ever doubt that!

[jenniferjareauwife]

Double Lines

pairing: jennifer jareau x daughter reader

category: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: teen pregnancy

word count: 603

age: 16

summary: you get pregnant on accident and tell your mom

Two lines. This was going to be the end of me. She would kick me out, surely. And there was no way I could hide it, how do you hide a giant baby bump from your mother?

"Y/n I'm home!"

"Fuck." I cursed and threw the test into the toilet. I thought I at least had another three hours. Guess she got off early.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah mom I'm coming." I buried the test under a bunch of random shit in the trash can before washing my hands and practically running down the stairs.

"How was school?" She leaned against the marble countertop, looking at me with a smile.

"It was alright?" It came out as a question. "Got an essay due a midnight. Need to work on that...a lot." I laughed nervously.

"Want some coffee?"

"Sure! Actually no." I furrowed my brows. Was I allowed to?

"Is everything ok?" She started making some coffee for herself.

"Yup." She raised her brows and let out a soft laugh. "Okay...just dealing with a bit of anxiety right now." That was part of the truth.

"About what?" I hesitated for a second too long. "Ok talk to me." She was leaning against the counter again, her arms crossed. My heart hammered against my chest.

"It's not...important." That was a fucking lie.

"Honey I think you forget I can always tell when you're lying." I looked down at the ground, not being able to meet her eyes.

"Can you promise not to hate me?" My voice cracked a bit and I mentally scolded myself.

"Y/n...I could never hate you." Her voice softened tenfold and a few seconds later I felt her soft hand on my back. "You're my daughter, I could never hate you. What's going on?" I couldn't get myself to face her.

"Just um...look in the trashcan of my bathroom."

"Sweetheart just tell me what's going on. I'd rather hear it from you instead of whatever's in your bathroom trashcan."

I took a beat, feeling my heart stop. "I'm pregnant."

She didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Honey can you look at me?" I turned around to face her slowly, my heart feeling like it was going to jump out of my chest. "I'm not mad. It's important to me that you know that I'm not mad." I nodded.

"What do I...do?"

"That's not for me to decide honey. I can help you in making your decision but I can't be the only to actually make it for you."

"We used protection and everything I just don't understand how this happened." I sob shook my body and my mom pulled me in for a hug, her hand on the back of my head while she pulled me against her chest.

"Sometimes we try everything we can and that still doesn't work and that's ok. Have you told your boyfriend?" I shook my head while sniffling quietly.

"Not yet. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do in this situation." I let out an awkward laugh.

"That's okay honey, no one really knows. But I want you to know that I'm here for you. And if you want more support from Em or Garcia, they're gonna be here for you too. They love you so much and just wanna see you be happy." I teared up at that. "Whatever happens, it's going to be okay. I promise you, ok?" She waited for a nod and when I gave her one she kissed the top of my head. "I love you honey."

"I love you too mom."

[baekhyunsbestie]

omfg have you seen that post from a girl who moaned "more" during sex but her boyfriend heard "roar" so he roared like a BEAST with zero hesitation and the girl was like o_o lol that man loves her fr fr but can you pleasssseeee write something based on this with baekhyun pleaseee it makes me laugh so hard every time i think about it asgufdyvbfhiujn thank u and ilyyyy so much mwah

im fucking sobbing omg bc imagine this happening with baekhyun and tell me why it would be the funniest fucking thing ever 😭

“roar.”

that’s what baekhyun thinks he hears.

and here’s the thing—this man? he has no hesitation, no doubts, no critical thinking skills in this moment. just pure, unfiltered, primal instinct.

without a shred of second guessing, he leans in, body pressed against yours, breath hot on your skin. his hands tighten around your thighs, and his voice drops into something dark, something deep, something hungry. you feel the tension in his muscles, the heat rolling off him in waves, the anticipation thick between you.

and then—

he roars.

“ROOOOAAAARRRRRRR!!!”

loud. guttural. from the very depths of his soul.

the bedframe trembles. the walls might have shaken. you swear the air itself vibrates with the force of his voice. somewhere in the distance, a dog starts barking. you wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors are calling animal control right now.

and you? you just—

freeze.

every nerve in your body goes rigid as your brain slams the emergency brakes. your lips part, eyes wide, mind struggling to process the sheer audacity of what just happened.

did this man… did this fully grown man… just.

roar??????

you blink, slow and deliberate, trying to convince yourself that maybe you hallucinated it, that maybe the pleasure was so good it just fried your last functioning brain cell. but no—baekhyun is still there, hovering over you, his bare-ass chest rising and falling with exhilaration, eyes glittering with nothing but triumph.

he looks proud.

like he just unlocked a forbidden sex move.

like he’s waiting for praise.

“…baekhyun.”

his smirk is downright smug. “what is it, baby?”

you keep staring at him. he stares back.

the room is so silent, you swear you can hear the clock ticking in the hallway.

and then—

you lose it.

a wheeze punches out of your chest so violently, you nearly choke. your stomach caves in from the sheer force of your laughter, hands scrambling to grip at anything—his arms, the sheets, the very fabric of reality—to keep yourself grounded. you’re gasping for air, body convulsing as you kick at the blankets like a dying fish, legs flailing uselessly in the air.

baekhyun’s expression shatters. the confidence drains from his face like someone just pulled the plug on his entire existence.

“wait.” his voice cracks. “d-did you not—”

you barely manage to choke out between gasping laughs, “baekhyun. i said ‘more.’”

silence.

absolute horrible, horrible silence.

and then—

baekhyun dies.

not literally. but spiritually? emotionally? he has simply passed away.

all the tension in his body vanishes. his entire frame deflates like a popped balloon, his once-hard posture turning into dead weight. he collapses onto you in slow motion, forehead thunking against your shoulder as a single, whispered plea falls from his lips—

“oh my FUCKING god.”

and then he just… slides.

like a glitching video game character, his body slips off you, rolls over, and falls limp beside you. his arms flop uselessly to the side, his eyes staring at the ceiling, hollow and glassy like he’s just been betrayed by the universe itself.

and then, without a word, he grabs the blanket, yanks it over his head, and disappears.

“baekhyun—”

“no. don't look at me.”

you’re still wheezing, clutching your stomach, your entire existence shaking with laughter. you try to reach for him, but he rolls away, cocooning himself deeper into the blankets.

“baek, come on—”

“no.” his voice is muffled beneath the fabric, thick with shame and regret. “don't talk to me. we’re breaking up.”

you snort. “be so fucking for real right now—”

“it’s over. delete me from your memory.”

by now, tears are streaming down your face. you wipe at them, struggling to breathe as you shift closer, poking at the lump of blanket currently housing your mortified boyfriend.

“baby, seriously—”

“i can't fucking believe i just did that.” his voice cracks again, pure self-loathing dripping from every word. “i— i thought—” he lets out a strangled noise. “oh my god... i just ended my own bloodline."

you press your face into the pillow to stifle another fit of laughter, your entire body trembling with the effort to hold it in.

baekhyun kicks his legs wildly beneath the blankets, like a tantrum throwing child. “’m never having sex again. this is it. i’m officially fucking celibate.”

you roll onto your side, grinning at the pathetic little ball of shame he’s curled into. “it was kinda cute, though.”

the blanket stiffens.

you smirk, eyes twinkling. “you really put your whole lionussy into that, huh?”

the blanket erupts.

baekhyun lunges out of his shame-cocoon just to strangle you with the same blanket he was hiding in.

[uncanny-tranny]

I just realized something...

Today, I got one of those friendship necklaces of the yin-yang, obviously, as a token of friendship with somebody close to me. However, I received a yin-yang friendship necklace in the third grade from one of my closest friends at the time...

The funny thing about that is how, in the third grade (pre-coming out), I received the yin half, and this time, I received the yang. I'm just having Big Feelings about this

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Guhhb. I need someone to lose my mind to right now. I ocould say a mountain of text but also. Nothing. Mhnvjvg. I. The voice actor for Axlerod- Eddie Izzard- I love listening to her comedy sketches I really do. I could go on about all her stuff but I love her things she is brilliant. Uh. And of course the reason I looked her up ages ago was because I wanted to hear just more stuff as Axlerod right. Wanted to hear Axlerod say more stuff cause she doesn't change her voice or anything when doing his voice right. But most her sketches are all on Amazon Prime, there's like two up on YouTube. But. I recently learned that she has a Spotify? ?and. She uploads some of her comedy sketches there. Which I think seeing them with video is best because the gestures and like things that she does during them is really good and adds to it but I will not complain for a minute about podcast format, nonetheless because with as much as I like her stuff I'd be better of me to just buy a CDs of all her stuff than repeatedly do a subscription for them. Anyway. That's all brilliant and fantastic cause I love her stuff and I get to hear it as Axlerod. And I don't know why but sometimes when I listen to her stuff my brain like... doesn't pick it up as Axlerod? Which it's the same exact voice. But sometimes she'll say certain things and it'll really hit me. And that's important for my second bigger thing.

So I decided to go back and listen to her sketches on Spotify again because I was looking for a particular bit but I don't know which act it's from(not that I mind going through all of them anyway) and I decided okay. Just so I keep track of which I have and haven't heard I'll start at the very bottom/with the oldest and work my way up. Which I discovered some other really really cool and awesome things there that maybe perhaps I'll just save sharing it for another day. But there were some like. Music things? That she was featured in? Like compilations of a bunch of artists that got together and did things and okay I just scrolled to where her name was at and it said she was doing it with another artist and I listened to it and I was like hm... I feel like I'd super recognize hearing her sing, no? I mean I've never heard her sing before and I am desperate for that perhaps for blatant reasons becuase. Axlerod. So I was like maybe I can look it up and see a video of it. And I felt a little bit better cause okay she didn't sing I didn't completely fail myself by not recognizing her voice. But oh. Oh. She was DOING THE PIANO. The piano. That's fantastic. Didn't know she played piano in any capacity. Maybe I will project that onto Axlerod in some time we'll see.

Now. Hold on. It gets better. So I go to the next seperate thing she was featured in, completely different compilation. Also music centered. Scroll down looking for her name. It seems to be from some other movie thing but whatever. Ah. Her name is by itself now. Perhaps I. Will hear her sing. Now. As I mentioned earlier sometimes my brain has the distinction between hearing her and Axlerod and I don't know why cause it's the same exact voice. Maybe it's the way she projects her voice or a slightttest inflection that makes the difference. Mm. Auto correct is saving me right now. I click on the Spotify thingy. Funky music starts playing that I can't explain ya just gotta hear it. Not funky as in silly bouncy but funky as in like 80s-90s funky. Like the villian is doing a swagger walk up to the protagonist with a fiendish grin like they're about to sing their entire plan and destruction. I have never seen whatever film this is from I have no clue what takes place in this darn thing. Ah. I don't know how to explain it but. Yes she does sing. And this is the most Axlerod sounding thing ever. Good grief man. Oh my days. I think it's cause in the movie Axlerod is mostly projecting his voice and doing speachy sort of things so hearing Izzard speak in a more relaxed tone my brain is still connecting the wires. But in the song she is projecting her voice more so it is there more. And I'm pretty sure if you watched me you would see it in my eyes. I could be put in a glass cage in a zoo for enrichment for others to watch right now. Pausing every five seconds and replaying it cause I want to savor this I don't want it to end. I wish there was a word for this. It's him it's him he's doing the thing guys.!!*×&#$>'w828. W. Same vibes. Same vibes. I'm going to lose it.i have to pause or else I will actually explode and erupt. Start screaming and shouting and jumping up and down and flailing and shaking my arms and my hands and running around and falling to my knees.

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[boyapologist]

got to the grief universe in every city was a gift and straight up had a panic attack 2 paragraphs in oh well