#what do you mean you didn't get attached to Ralph

[randomnameless]

Dissing FE5 on my dash ???  /s

Yeah, you never feel better than watching Tina miss with her heal staff, or watch someone burn two uses of a heal staff because they had the stellar idea of, uh, double healing a unit !

But on the brightside, we also have enemy units who miss with their staves!

Pour one to those dark bishops who don’t know how to use their rewarp staves, and just stand here, missing and ending their turn the Thracian branch of the Loptyr Church is full of noobs who don’t even know how to use a staff!

We also have the random movement starts proccing, basically a chance from 5% to 25% of having a double turn (symbolised by a music note appearing!), it’s nice when your units procc it, it sucks when Galzus is hunting you or the Saias gang suddenly becomes OP and Leif can’t dodge axe armors anymore :(

And the fatigue mechanic? It’s punishing because we can’t use Sara everytime, and we have to rotate out staff units, but rn I haven’t found anything similar to encourage (rather force) you to play with different units; besides you can mob - I mean steal S-drinks!

But yeah, basically FE5 is a, uh, luck heavy game at times, and if it’s bearable with save states, I shudder to think what it’d be like without them lol

especially if you don’t warpskip some chapters

I’m the anon from earlier. I forgot about Sacred Stones (I guess because it’s a 2 split instead of 3) and Awakening does have a weapon triangle. I heard horror stories about FE5 and ain’t going near a game where healing can miss. FE6 too with its bullshit hit rate, Roy promoting late, and a secret ending that is a pain in the ass to unlock. My problem with 3Hs graphics is the backgrounds and clipping, but I love its art style. I like the animations too; it’s not flashy and doesn’t need to be.

Yeah, I don't blame you for not wanting to try those games. For FE6, Roy promoting late thankfully isn't too much of a burden because you can have other units carry the maps for you (I used Lance and he was my best unit with Lugh behind him and I had no trouble). The bullshit hit rate is actually FE5 (would you like to miss that 90 percent chance? More than once, you say?), and FE6 whacko has growth rates.

I think FE6 is fine if you don't care too much about the "true" ending. I only played the game once and I got the neutral ending but I just... didn't care enough to try again at the time. I might again sometime, or just might replay it sometime. The game itself is tolerable. It's a little difficult (I'd say you'd have better luck with it if you're a more experienced FE player) but definitely tolerable.

FE5 is intentionally difficult, has very awkward hit/miss chances (plus like you said, staves/healing missing their targets sometimes) and has a lot of enemies to deal with + reinforcements. While I like FE5 a lot, that's more my love for the returning cast from FE4, having my baby, my baby boy, as the main character and feeling like it's almost rightfully difficult as in expression of the difficulty the characters are going through in the war.

That said, I've also only played FE5 one time because it's a bit too difficult in the sense that it just gets irritating sometimes and isn't something I'd want to repeatedly go through. The reason I didn't replay FE6 is because I just didn't find the story all that enjoyable and found most of the characters to be lackluster. FE5 has a lackluster character problem outside of the main characters, but at least they have substance (in comparison to FE6).

FE6 just didn't do it for me in really any field. It's not a bad game, it's just not up my alley. FE5 is partially up my alley but not really always fun to play, and it's more the story/plot/lore that does it for me, because those things have the added bonus of being directly related to/technically part of FE4. If you don't want to play it, I would recommend watching it at least if you're interested via someone's YT walkthrough if you haven't already, but yeah, I totally get not wanting to play it.

Houses' clipping is annoying, too, yeah. Also the fact that the models' hands don't actually touch anything. For example, Claude's hand never actually touches his hip and Dimitri's arms will be crossed but his hands don't actually touch his shoulders. It's pretty jarring considering it's one of the few games nowadays that for some reason just can't fix small issues like that with their models, other than the only thing I can think of being IS wanting to cut corners.

[fluffykiddosstuff]

❤️What would they do for valentine's day (dbh)❤️

Hello everyone! I hope you all got the love you deserved today! (from family, co-workers, friends or lovers doesn't matter <3) and I hope you will like this :) it's not NSFW bc I didn't had enough idea for NSFW headcanons about valentine's days since I'm single :_: so sorry abt that

---------

💙Daniel💙

(I have this headcanons were the dpd repaired all the androids that could be repaired after Markus got them their rights so let's say it's after that :))

- poor boy is really traumatized by is old owners, but he remembers how they acted to each other on valentine's day, how one would cook and the other buy presents all the stuff like that, so he considered about doing similar

- If you say you don't want anything fancy for this day or that you finish work a bit late, he would be stressing inside but not showing any of it, he has attachments issues and even if it's not meant in a bad way he feels like you would get rid of him like his previous owners tried to

- cooks something fancyer than usually and would set candles were you both usually eat (like I said in previous headcanons : thirium food hc for androids), maybe some red themed decoration but not too much and a lot but A LOT of kisses and cuddles in the couch <3 it would be praises from him to you and the other way around to let each other know you are both loved deeply

- as a gift he would try to help you with work that you brought home so you can rest in bed with him sooner than you did every day, if he can't help he would just bring you some coffee/tea (or any favorite drinks you like folks) to keep you going while you finish

- hugs you frome behind while you work and while you fall asleep either on him or in the bed after taking care of you in a warm and romantic bath <3

💚Ralph💚

(for Ralph you meeted him thanks to Kara and you live with him in this BTW :))

- he didn't knew what valentine's day was until he saw it either on your TV or while he was walking outside, he asked more about it to Kara since Kara and Luther were dating now, she explained that it was something to show love to the ones you truly care about

- "but isn't that something you should do every day?"

- after a while he finally understood and rushed home to surprise you the best he could

- putting the keys in your bag and getting in the living room, you saw a big bouquet of your favorites flowers and plants on the center table, you smiled fondly when Ralph took you in his arms from behind and kissed your cheek

- " Ralph made the composition himself, they won't last very long but we could always try to do the same with paper, what do you think?"

- he also ordered your favorite food, since he knows he can't cook well since he doesn't have a "home caring" program (the Alice and Kara incident at the squat made us realize that lol)

- he want to feed you and you to feed him, he didn't got loved like that and he want to show you he does truly

🤎Markus🤎

- he knows what valentine's day is about, Carl made back then a special painting about this day and explained it to markus how, for humans, it was important and meaningful

- once you got home nothing would have changed but, when you enter your room to get changed you saw a big painting of you and your lover on the bed with petals of your favorite flower on the sheets, you admired the painting when you heard a romantic song playing on a piano, you smiled to yourself knowing who it was and you got into the working area that you reserved for markus and his hobbies

- "did you like the painting? I hope you did because It will be hanging in this room since today"

- he smiled and kissed you, then probably wants to dance with you and make you laugh for the rest of the day

- "you are the most beautiful peace of art ever, I mean it"

☕Gavin☕

- "valentine's day? Pff it's for cowards"

- would sent you some dumb romantic quotes by text so only you can see them

- when you got home you find a box of chocolates with a little note on it

- "even if I don't show it or tell it every day, I'm glad you are in my life"

- he would hug you in the bed/sofa and cherish your body while saying sometimes love words to you

- kiss everywhere you feel insecure 1nd likes when you kiss his scars

💛Simon💛

- prepared everything so you don't have to do anything but relax when you get home, diner? Already made, cleaning? Done, he wants you to enjoy every seconds of the time you will spend together

- "here let me take your coat" with a warm smile then a hug and a kiss

- some lights lit up in the room and your favorite perfume all over the room to make you at ease

- buyed you flowers, made you a card, dressed up fancy and buyed you some clothes he thought you would have liked, this man wants to make you feel special and loved <3

- drinking champagne by a balcony, looking at the stars and Detroit, chatting about whatever comes to your minds

- he is glued to you and snuggling against you (pls let him be the little spoon he just wants to feels you holding him)

🩸Connor🩸

- since he is still a little bit awkard with his deviancy, he literally bullied hank to make tings perfect

- dressed in a blue and black suit, he invited you to a restaurant and made you the center of his attention since every days he as to focus on cases for work

- walks while taking your hand in a park and sits on a bench looking at the stars

- "every nights and days with you are wonderful, I can't get enough of them and you, I wished we could do this every night"

- arrived home he would help you get cleaned and then spoons you while stroking your hair and soothing you to sleep

🥃Hank🥃

- "valentine's day are only made to make money, it's dumb"

- wants just to spend the day with you at home chilling, in pyjamas, nothing fancy

- maybe would order what you would want to eat and let you pick the movie

- strokes your hair whil you snuggle next to him

- don't be surprised if you see a gift on your bed

- "what? Just because I find it dumb doesn't mean I can't buy you shit.."

- If you buy him something he would use it every day every times he can

- falling asleep with you and sumo in the bed is the best valentine's this old man could dream of

🤖Nines🤖

- many researchs of how he can show you his love by touch or gift since he isn't good with words

- kisses and hugs out of nowhere, more than usually

- gift you clothing and jewelry

- tries to cook (either it's fantastic either it's burned, no in-between)

- let's you borrow his working jacket for once

- takes you shopping

- takes you to a restaurant

- in bed he would keep you as close as he can and gently rub every part that reach his hands

- he doesn't expect anything in return but if you do, it will stay in his mind 24/24hours and he would be overwhelmed by that

🕊️Rupert🕊️

- he hear about valentine's day while feeding some pigeons in the park

- would send a message with a bird to your window, while waiting outside for you

- "you know I love you right? Do you want to be my valentine this year?"

- takes you into a zoo and stops almost every time to analyse every animals (even the ones that aren't part of the zoo)

- buys you a plush of your favorite animal and some food

- takes many pictures with you and then gift them to you in a frame

- offers you his coat when you both get home

- when you propose him to stay he smiles and hugs you in the bed until you fall asleep

☮️Josh☮️

- he knows what valentine's day is since almost the start of his deviancy, when you started to get with him he knew he wanted to experience this first time with you

- takes you to your favorite place and does a picnic there

- watch the clouds and imagine the forms and their story

- made you some home made gift

- "wait you have some crumbs here, don't move.."

- plays and dance with you when you get home and then falls asleep one the couch, you on top of him, he is hugging you tightly against him

- you are the best thing that happened to him since the androids rised up

-------

I hope you like those headcanons!

[bubblingcolaa]

Uhh.. insert like.. hella trigger warnings here (like s-icide type trigger warnings-)

This isn't a serious post! It's just about my blood-covered-au :)

So basically what the au is, is just the events on the island, the exact same as they happened in the book, except for the very end where except rescue came whilst Ralph was running from the hunters, he didn't, and he ended up being caught and his head put on a stick. And it just escalates from there. Since Ralph is now dead Jack basically has full power, and this just leads to madness and chaos. And after time, the hunters just start killing off everyone else. So here's the list :)

So as previously stated, Mulberry, Simon, and Piggy all died the same way, so, yeah. And then Ralph, as I already said his death

Maurice - (in for a treat) so, after Ralph's death, Maurice wasn't necessarily that thrilled to follow and support Jack. He was the one who didn't lose all his sanity, and tried talking to the others, saying that what they're doing isn't good. But, nobody listened to him, and that turned into every time he hesitated or spoke up, he got a "punishment." His ghost has multiple bites and scratches, along with the more major injuries like his foot missing, his hand missing, a couple fingers missing, his ear and eye missing, and also a couple teeth to go along with it. :)

Now SamnEric were also along with Maurice, thinking that Jack and everyone else were completely mental. but after seeing Whaat happened with Maurice, they decided to not talk much about it. Anyways, after time, Jack was getting annoyed at how Eric and Sam had to do things together. He started to see Sam and Eric as two different people, so, he started to split them up to do separate jobs. Obviously the twins didn't like it, but Sam learned to just deal with it and suck it up. Eric didn't, though. He'd basically just freeze whenever his brother was out of sight. So, Jack saw this as just useless dead meat, and decided to just kill him off. (I forgot how brutal I made this lol) So, Jack decided to uhhh, get Sam. And teach him out to skin. ... On Eric. Jack made Sam skin his own brother alive :)

Anyways moving on, next up is Johnny. He just died because of like, disease. You- youve seen how he was like in the book :/

Then Percival, who was roasted on a spit. Like.. imma say it was a test to see how it worked before using it on pigs

Then Wilfred, who just died due tooooooo.. ☆⁠ exsanguination ☆⁠ (that's just a fancy way to say blood loss) mainly because he was like the toy. Maybe the hunters continued to just beat up his body after he died :)

Then finally Sam gets reunited with his brother. He died to Roger shoving rocks down his throat:)

Then all the other useless child boys. Bill died by being crushed by a tree. Harold died due to drowning. Henry died due to being like.. force fed/"water" boarded in rotting pig guts. And Robert died like Prometheus did, with being stabbed in his spleen or kidney or something and being pecked at by Segals :)

Now the only people left are Jack and Roger. I haven't decided what caused it yet, perhaps it was just Rogers sick thinking, but, one night he poisoned Jack by secretly putting angel trumpets in his food. (Which I like because I'm pretty sure angel trumpets have a religious meaning and it's meant to bring a person to a peaceful passage to the afterlife lol)

Then after awhile I suppose Roger couldn't handle being all by his lonesome so he tied a bunch of vines together to make a rope type thing. He then made a noose with it, attached it to Castle rock (like put it under a bolder) and jumped off :D

Anyways, uh, yeah :) (I have a drawing of Roger hanging but I'm unsure if I can post that on Tumblr -- also I'm too lazy to take a picture of it)

[msfbgraves]

Tag Game

Got tagged by @amorphousgenderlesscryptid and @puella-peanut in two tag games with some overlapping questions, so I am sharing the two. Thank you and excuse the delay; the reasons I take very long to answer tag games is that I almost exclusively use Tumblr on mobile and that isn't ideal for things like this. But I enjoy them so I've started up the laptop!

First ever ship: I was so conventional when I first started shipping at thirteen or so. I took the ships that were given me and what fodder the magazines would give me to indulge them with. I never even considered alternatives, honestly, we had dial-up internet that was hella expensive to use, what was I going to do, read fanfic and explain the bill? Yeah, no. So my first ship was: Romeo & Juliet, from the Baz Luhrmann movie. "My only love sprung from my only hate", gah, in English I did not understand even with the subtitles, which I also didn't understand, it was deliciously complicated, which I had no idea would become something I am attracted to.

Last song: It's All Coming Back to Me Now, Celine Dion

Last film: Knives Out, to better appreciate the Glass Onion on my dash. Good film that took an hour to get interesting to me, so if not for Tumblr, I would have stopped. That one's on you.

Currently watching: I'd watch Slow Horses series 2, if getting a better vpn to pirate with wasn't still on my to do list.

Currently consuming: Tea, I think it is ceylon?

Currently craving: I just ate, so not food, though, very deep, direction in my life.

Currently reading: A backlog of so many Saturday editions of De Volkskrant newspaper. You do learn new things, although why people need a 5 page article to come to the conclusion that young people without prospects, going to underfunded schools, living in bad houses and getting discriminated every time they are trying to get out of these conditions are gasp more prone to radicalisation and the violence that comes with it is, I mean - sometimes I really feel that people are emotional morons. How is this possibly news. Everyone who cares even a little must sense this, if they haven't yet had it confirmed? The Science page is cool though, if hard for me to get through, I understand so little of it. Also the book tips.

3 ships

Cherik

Underrated little thing I love about sweet Cherik: they're so European! I can lampoon all my German and British relatives through them, indulge writing a little German that is critically not about Germany (because I do not live there, actually). Why are there no Dutch mutants, though. Really why. I need to write somebody from either the Holland region who feels right at home with the supposedly rude New Yorkers or someone from Twente who is critically out of their depth in America and curls up with Kurt to watch football although Kurt is German and that has some trauma attached but at least they know at what time you are supposed to serve coffee, and not that Starbucks stuff. (Which is not to say many people from Twente would not love city life. Yet, people who stay to make a life in Twente often do so because metropolitan life is the antithesis of what they value and enjoy).

Silverusso

I started 2022 with the words "Hold up, new fucked up ship just dropped!" It has been a ride, and it introduced me to the potentially even more fucked up - though I do hope for everyone involved never actually realised! - 'ship' that is Cuba and his Teddy Bear. But oh, Terry. I am just so incredibly in awe of how he came to Cobra Kai and made everything about it fit him. If you know how much of the OG cast struggles with the writers' takes on the material, and not only did Thomas make the evolution of Terry from TKK3 to Cobra Kai seamless, Silverusso gives Cobra Kai, and especially Daniel in Cobra Kai, the hook to even make sense: Daniel/Amanda, Daniel's visceral reaction to Cobra Kai, Daniel's darker side (always on display), and of course Ralph has played that since the beginning but you need a knowledge of Terry to completely see what they have been building up to. And then of course the rapport between the Cobra Husbands, giving Marty a new angle as Kreese. Thank you, thank you Sir!

Gradence

Can be this:

Or this:

Even murkier than Silverusso when I want darkness and messed up dynamics, but gives you licence to go adorable with them without the danger of oocness because you have complete freedom to decide who the character of Percival Graves actually is. The only one we spend time with in the movie, after all, is his impersonator. Also, no new canon to mess things up anymore, which is great for me as I lack the ability to ignore canon. It always has to come back into my fic some way, which is very bothersome when, again, the canon writers do not actually care about anything but status and money.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hey, Ralph. I don't really know how to articulate the feelings I have about jkr but you're a sensible person whose views have helped me in the past so here I am. Like I understand people have attachment to her work. But this debate whether spending money on her work is supporting her vs her work isn't hers alone and you can consume media while disagreeing with creator is really frustrating. I wish this insanely popular author didn't play part in questioning my existence and thinking of me as 'misguided woman' so I wouldn't even have to think about this. But she does and I wish could do something to counter her vitriol but at the same time I'm so fucking tired of justifying my being to everyone because living in a transphobic society is hard enough.

Thanks for sending this anon - it's lovely to hear that what I say has helped you make sense of the world.

I'm really sorry that you have to deal with all this bullshit anon. I'm sorry that JKR is so awful. I'm sorry that her work means a lot to people.

I think your last sentence is key to figuring out a way forward. You talk about being frustrated and tired - discussions about JKR seem really negative for you. How about you avoid them? If they're happening here block and unfolllow, block key words. You can have a great impact on how much of this debate you see. How about you see less.

Toni Morrison said: "“The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of this is necessary. There will always be one more thing.”

It sounds to me like JKR is distracting you. What if you blocked her every way you could and resolved to put the energy into some project that celebrated trans joy? What would that be? What if you made the energy you spent talking about trans lives proactive rather than reactive.

You won't leave anything important behind if you leave behind discussions about JKR I promise.

One of the strange things about current times is that there's almost an infinite capacity to talk in public about things. It's very easy that by talking about things in public you're changing the terms of how things are talked about in public (often you're not, often you're just setting the agreed terms of disagreement). Or that by changing the way things are talked about in public you change the way people experience the world - there is some ways that it's true, but far more ways that it's not.

If people get something out of talking about JKR that's fine, I'm not advocating that they stop, just that giving up the fantasy that it's doing anything allows who don't enjoy it to stop (as should be rather obvious I get something out of talking about a lot of things on this tumblr, I don't think that it's having a marked impact on the world).

It can also help to give this whole debate less power. I'm not quite sure what is being released right now, but small variations in the financial success of minor Harry Potter events are not going to be the deciding factor in trans lives over the next few years.

Fighting collectively by building a coalition to win meaningful changing to housing and healthcare is far more important than any response to JKR.

There's more I could say anon, but I think my main point is JKR isn't worth any of this and you can put your energy else where.

[the-romantic-lady]

Thank you! I loved knowing more about Edmund, poor boy, he was too good for his time. I am definitely interested in the letters :)

I always had a theory that Richard looked like Edmund, that's why Edward loved him so much, but I guess I wasn't quite right, maybe it's because Richard looked like their father.

Do you know who the boys looked like? I can't define looking at the portraits. I just know that Edward didn't look like anyone and Richard looked like his father.

You are welcome :D. Anon, you have awaken the sleeping lion. The appearances of the Yorks is one of my ultimate passions. I have some facts and A LOT of theories. Buckle up because this is going to be a long ride. (To keep this a reasonable length, I will stick to only the brothers.

Edward IV

Edward is a controversial one. His looks were used to state that he was illegitimate and looked nothing like his family. Well, I propose otherwise. When things have an agenda, they can hardly be taken as fact. In my opinion, Edward resembled his mother and paternal grandmother. Ofc, I will share some pictures:

These are far from perfect in representation but we can see his features clearly. He had a very pretty small and straight nose. A small rosy mouth and squinty eyes (they are cute lol). His chin is straight and kind of big and some double chin is popping through (which is likely a result of his later weight gain). Now here is Cecily and Richard, Duke of York's mother, Anne Mortimer.

This image of Anne Mortimer is an illustration from a stained glass image from 1411. I have desperately tried to get my hands on the original but the British Library won't budge. The features of Henry V and John, Duke of Bedford line up with other representations so I take it as fairly accurate in what Anne looked like. She is almost Edward's twin. The same small nose, the large chin and the small mouth. Whilst we can't see Anne's eyes, it seems that his eyes have origins elsewhere since Cecily has brighter and more lifted eyes. Overall, I would say he has a feminine face and kind of looks like his sister Anne too.

George, Duke of Clarence

George is the hardest one. We hardly know what he looks like. According to Vergil?, Richard said that George looked more like other men at court rather than their father but that sounds like bullcrap which is pretty much all of Vergil's history.

This is the most accurate representation we have of George and its not very good. To me, he seems to have a large nose, large eyes and a full mouth. Also, a strong jaw and chin. These features seem to resemble Richard somewhat but more masculine imo. I personally don’t know who I think he resembles. I think his maternal grandfather, Ralph Neville is a good bet. Very wide set faces with a strong jaw like his great grandfather Edmund Duke of York whose skeleton was examined to show a very masculine and strong jaw. 

Richard III

This one is really interesting. He personally seemed to have claimed to resemble his father (someone he likely never saw enough to remember the face of). Although he states that they were the same of “visage”, the context of the statements seem to suggest he means to say that they are the same noble princes. He was emphasizing his descent as the true heir of his father so if he did say that it makes sense for the context. However, how much they looked alike in features is a hard one. Richard and Edward both had brown hair. George is uncertain but I would a light brown as seen in that Wavrin image. For Richard, we have contemporary images, later paintings and his reconstruction.

All three show a very soft face. He has medium eyes, a straight aquiline nose and a full mouth. In some ways, he seems like a mixture of Edward and George. I don’t think he resembles his father much except for the jaw and nose. 

Richard, Duke of York seems to have a very very soft face. His eyes seem small and somewhat squinty like Edward’s but his nose is almost identical to Richard. His mouth seems to be fuller like George. And he was very blonde. None of his sons seemed to be. He seems to resemble his own father, Richard Earl of Cambridge. 

Edmund

I left him for last because this is mostly just speculation. He is described as “fair” which could mean both handsome or light coloring. If we go by the second, then he likely had his father’s coloring. If not, then he too was dark in hair like his brothers. All the York sons, except for George seem to lean towards the feminine side on their appearance. That goes with your point that Richard resembled Edmund and thus Edward’s attachment to him (although it must be said that Edward seemed to have loved George a lot too). I don’t personally see that much difference in Richard and Edward’s appearance either. George seems more like the outlier in appearance to me. Which brings me to these videos. Ofc, they are not totally accurate but Edward is HOT and it shows kind of how the brothers did look very similar. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBpB9QXOO20&t=70s&ab_channel=PanagiotisConstantinou

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh8f2-kdXb4&ab_channel=PanagiotisConstantinou

[manda-kat]

The History of Drakeswing Academy (the story I've had for about a decade and haven't finished) ((this post takes forever and is a result of my late night rambling))

I started it when I was... Gosh, it was before How to Train Your Dragon came out, so I was nine at the oldest. So... You can guess that the story is... Weird. Also, it has a ton of characters and has gone through a lot of changes to fit every phase I was ever in between then and now.

It started when my siblings and I started borrowing dragon books from the library. There was Drakes Comprehensive Compendium of Dragonology, a Practical Guide to Dragons (and the other books in that series) How to Raise and Keep a Dragon, and others that didn't have as memorable names. (Honestly though, if you haven't read those books GO DO IT NOW! Seriously! Call your library! Do it now!)

So we started a game where we would create dragon riding characters and fly around. The game started by only allowing d&d dragon species (which we actually didn't know were from d&d) and I made a girl called Kathleen who rode a silver dragon. No, I don't remember it's name! I went years without giving any of the dragon's personality, despite them being the coolest part of the entire story.

So, we went on and over time we all created more and more characters and hosted the story in a dragon riding school. Fun fact: each of us wanted to have the headmaster, so each of us made one and they'd kind of all just... Exist... With the same job...

This is when I started making 'developed' characters. Like Lindsay. Her father was the dark lord Mortzveir. Yes, that is a name I made up myself when I was ten. No, I don't know how to spell it. No, I never decided on a spelling. What does it mean? Shut up. Despite her father being evil, she is a normal girl living a normal life, just trying to be a good guy. Does her dad being evil tear her up and force her to come to terms with the fact that her own father isn't the man he claimed to be? Why of course not! She sort of just says, "okie-dokie" and nothing about their relationship changes. She LIVES at his evil castle and every day goes to the school that he has sworn to destroy. He never uses her in a plot or scheme. She never has an issue with his evilness.

Then I got into the phase of MELODRAMA!!! My favorite kind of drama! Ralph and Jenna (yes all of their names sound like their from a math textbook! I made them when I was little and I'm too attached to change them!) are in LOOOVE, but I was like, ten, and didn't know how to write romance, so I just kept saying that they'd be married some day. Also, Max and Kathleen are in love. But she's a tsundere. Aside from that, Mortzveir actually starts doing things that are actually evil, like experimenting on his son with dark magic and creating armies of evil dragon people.

And then... This is where any normal consumer would guess that the writer was on crack while working on it, but no. I was just a really weird ten to thirteen year old. This stage lasted a while and let me tell you some notable things that happened in it:

I began to become aware of how weird and cringey some of the characters were. Like a half-dragon called Munchkin. He was a normal, serious character, but his name was Munchkin. To remedy this, I gave him a backstory. His mother was a dragon queen, who died, but not before laying an egg. From that egg hatched not one but TWO babies. One, more humanoid Munchkin and the other, a dragon called Copper, who lives at the beach and is a SURFER!

I gave the characters each superpowers. They were really dumb too. Max could "see the truth" which was just my excuse for getting him to unlock the other character's tragic backstories in a lazy way.

Munchkin was terrorized by a haunted baby doll that was never explained

Mortzveir had a half-dragon assistant called... Vinnie? I think? I am almost certain that Vinnie had a crush on Mortzveir, even though at the time I didn't know that being gay was a thing, so I just made him very 'helpful' to his boss.

Mortzveir got a redemption arc! And then became evil again! And then got redeemed! And then became evil again! And the cycle continued!

I introduced a new character called G. I also didn't know that stoners existed, but that was what he was.

I gave Ralph a pegasus.

I killed Ralph's father in front of him.

I killed Max's father in front of him.

I basically killed everyone just for shock value.

Finally, we get to the meaty stuff! I don't know when this stage started, but I would say I was fourteen when I decided that my original story was... Pretty cringe. So I stared... Developing. Some changes!

Mortzveir has a backstory now! He was taken over by an evil parasite, which would explain his momentary times of being a good person and how he can relapse into evil in such a back and forth way!

Max has serious mental issues because I thought that meant "well-rounded". We also forsee his death.

G is now a half-dragon and quickly becomes my favorite character. He's now the hot, emo, anime boy of my dreams.

Lindsay actually has issues because of her father's past! She has to work through that! Finally!

Jenna... Almost gets development. Like... She doesn't actually get any... But I tried.

Kathleen fades into obscurity, but I still pretend that I care about her. (I didn't)

But then I decide that she is of dwarven descent and i get really invested in her! ... For about two days and then I forget about her again.

And then, about two years ago, I'd say??? I did a complete overhaul, turning it into a more anime feel and actually developing the dragons! Took me long enough!

So now I'm here... Looking at this mess...

I want to do something with it...

But it may need to be completely reworked from the ground up. If Drakeswing Academy never sees the light of day, just remember that it was my biggest fandom for the better part of a decade growing up. So that counts for something.

[recipereruns]

#TBT Recipe - 'Girl Scout Cookies - Just Like the One's I Didn't Sell Because I Was an Indian Princess'

Girl Scout cookie season where you curse yourself for not carrying cash to the grocery and double curse that you didn't get cash back so you could "Get her on the way out'."

I never was a Girl Scout because you had to start off as a Brownie and EW, brown. As. If. My mom, busy with her meth empire, didn't have time to take me to meetings and teach me crafts like how to make an owl out of half a walnut shell and a mini pretzel.

She wanted me to explore other cultures and get my dad out of the house for one night a week, so she signed us up for the father daughter group - Indian Princesses. Where me and eight other white girls and their fathers would appropriate the Native American culture by choosing 'Indian' Names, (shout out, Little Fawn!), make leather crafts and decorate sticks.

The campout was the highlight where all the dads got drunk on my dad's (aka Dancing Buck) contraband scotch and had a "pow wow" around the campfire where they hopped around, bopping, their hand to their mouths and chanting.

Soon after we were forced to flee (Dancing Buck got a transfer) the tribal lands of the Middle West for the damp, dark forests of the Pacific Northwest. Little Fawn and Dancing Buck joined another tribe, but it there were less crafts and the other 'princesses' were b*&ches and wouldn't talk to me.

My aversion to groups had not quite developed yet, so I tried the Bluebirds. This was also a time my mom stopped making meth and tried to fit in with the wine drinking, gated community moms. I had been envious of the girls who wore their uniforms once a week on meeting day - it was like a costume.

I was sent a vintage uniform from my Grammy. Though it was a bit short, I wore it anyway and was attacked at recess by a gaggle of 5th grade c*&ts asking "Why my skirt was so short?"I attempted to explain in earnest, but t was my first lesson in how fruitless it is to introduce rational thought when people are deliberately being mean to you. 

I never wore it again. I went to the meetings because the other girls and two boys were fun and nice and crafts and snacks were awesome! Then it came to selling stuff. My aversion to sales did not need to be developed as I was born with it. Rather than marching around door to door bothering people, I did what most of us did; foisted boxes of Almond Roca and Mints to my dad to sell at his office between scotch breaks.

As a grown up, recovering from a deep aversion of groups and still with an aversion to bothering strangers, I do admire and appreciate the Girl Scouts, posted up at the Ralph's. They make a great product and I am happy to see they seem to have ditched that brown...

Here's a knock-off of my very favorite Girl Scout Cookie, the Samoa. Excuse me, Carmel De-Lites. Indian Princesses weren't the only appropriators around...

INGREDIENTS:

3/4 cup + 2 Tbsp all-purpose flour

1 tsp cornstarch

1/4 tsp salt

1/8 tsp baking soda

1/2 cup all vegetable shortening

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 1/2 Tbsp milk , as needed

3/4 cups toasted desiccated coconut , divided

22 caramels , unwrapped (this takes FOREVER)

2 1/2 Tbsp milk

1 pinch salt

5 Tbsp shortening (Last three for chocolate coating)

3 1/2 Tbsp cocoa powder

1/2 half cup powdered sugar

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a mixing bowl, whisk together flour, cornstarch, salt and baking soda, set aside. In the bowl of an electric stand mixer, fitted with paddle attachment, blend together shortening, sugar and vanilla until combine (only about 30 seconds). Stir in dry ingredients. Add milk 1/2 Tbsp at a time as needed, until dough comes together. Roll dough out between two large sheets of parchment paper, to about 1/6" thickness. Using a 2" cookie cutter, cut dough into circles then using the end of a small pastry tip cut a hole in the center of each circle. Using a large sharp knife or pastry scraper (floured as needed), slide knife under entire cookie and lift the cookie off of the parchment paper and transfer to a Silpat lined cookie sheet. Re-roll dough as needed until you've used it all. Bake cookies in preheated oven for about 10 minutes until lightly golden. Allow to cool 5 minutes on cookie sheet before transferring to a wire rack to cool.

Pour 1/2 cup desiccated coconut into a shallow bowl and set aside. Heat caramels, 2 1/2 Tbsp milk and a pinch of salt in a medium saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly until melted and smooth. Reduce temperature to warm, add remaining 1/4 cup desiccated coconut to melted caramel and mix to combine. Leave caramel mixture over warm heat (as you coat cookies), stirring caramel occasionally. Working one cookie at a time, spread about 1 tsp caramel mixture around the top of cookie, then immediately dip caramel coated side of cookie into the bowl of desiccated coconut then set on parchment paper (or cooled cookie sheets) and allow caramel to set.

Prepare chocolate coating according to directions listed then dip bottoms of cookies (none caramel coated side) in coating and run the bottom of the cookie along the inside edge of the bowl scrapping excess coating off (you just need a thin coating). Place dipped cookie upside down (so the chocolate coating should be facing upward). Repeat process with remaining cookies. Once coating on cookies has set, flip cookies to opposite side. Pour remaining chocolate coating (rewarm as needed first) into a Ziploc bag, seal bag and cut a very small tip off one edge of the bag then drizzle chocolate coating over cookies. Allow drizzled coating to set then store cookies in an airtight container.

Chocolate Coating

In a microwave safe bowl, using a fork, blend together shortening and cocoa powder. Microwave mixture in 15 second intervals on HIGH power, stirring after each interval until completely melted. Add powdered sugar and mix until well combine and smooth. Reheat as needed on 50% power for about 15 seconds, then stir.

Recipe Source: Cooking Classy