#what do you mean i can't pencil Be Very Sad About Recent Loss into my planner with all my highlighters and stickers

[illumiera]

unstoppable force (grief hitting randomly and unexpectedly) versus immovable object (generally very organised person who likes to know exactly when to expect things)

[six-eyed-samurai]

LETTERS TO SANEMI

This can be read as a standalone, but if you'd like you can read my previous thoughts on Genya's literacy.

dear aNiki,

kocho gave me a Notebook today aNd told me to write down any after efects or experiNces after eating a demoN iN here but said I should also keep a jourNal to show you oNe day. she gave one to tokito to for his memory loss I thiNk.

she started teachng me how to write receNtly. she said if I caN’t become a hashira or talk to you by the time i've fiNished learNiNg, i can come up with a good apologi letter for you.

himejima-saN is very proud that I'm learNiNg how to write. he was sad he couldn't teach me Himself but Now I can help Him deliver messages he caN't write or Read.

i caN't do aNy breathiNg techNiques, but himjima-saN’s traiNing is iNteNse eNough that i can slay demons eveN without eating them sometimes. maybe i will be able to become the first hashira without a techNique.

Im Not sure yet Of what to write iN here, so thats all for Now. I hope you like the ohagi I seNt you. kocho said she'd pass it for Me.

***

Dear Aniki,

I'm very embarrassed to say this, but when I showed Kocho my writing it turned out I got a lot of things wrong. She was very nice about it when she saw how red I was but couldn't teach me today so the Butterfly Girls had to do it. I think they were too scared to laugh but it's embarrassing anyway to have them know more about writing than I do.

For one apparently I got all my captal (is that how you spell it?) letters wrong. Small letter n and captal letter N are also very different and it's confusing. And I'm glad Himejima-san won't find out I didn't write his name correctly.

The demon I ate the other day left me with a very weirdly shaped hand that hasn't gone away yet, so I'll stop writing for now since it's tiring to hold a pencil with talons. Kocho offered to cut my nails for me but I said no because she was going to use her katana.

***

Dear Aniki,

It really hurt me to find out you threw away my apology letter. I really want to apologize for that night but you keep pushing me away. Are you disappointed in me for joining the Corps or because I can't use breathing techniques? I promise I'll do better.

At least you didn't reject my ohagi. I found out because Tokito was eating it when I met him today. The Mist Pillar is really weird. I didn't know his amnesia was so bad to this state he wandered into the room I was staying in at the Butterfly Mansion thinking it was his. I found him standing by the window holding my gun without moving for about ten minutes. I thought he was a girl for a second so it kind of stunned me into silence. He didn't even notice I was there until I yelled at him to put it down.

It was really awkward at first because I had to explain to him it wasn't his room and he had to explain to me he wasn't a girl, then there was an awkward pause where we just stared at each other. He called me a rooster too…which is still confusing.

I find it really hard to believe he's fourteen and already a Pillar. Jealous, really, because he gets to see you and I don't. Although he called you a wolf and I'm not sure what that means when I asked him where he got the ohagi from and he said the “old white wolf looking Hashira…I forgot. I think I bought it…wait, but I didn't bring any money.”

Somehow I ended up agreeing to his demand of training with him first thing tomorrow to show him how to use a gun. Thankfully the side effects of the demon I ate is gone now.

Kocho told me he'll probably forget about it though.

***

Dear Aniki,

Today's my birthday. Do you miss me as much I do for you? I wish I can still celebrate it with our siblings and mom, or at least with you.

Kinzaki and the Butterfly Girls made me a cake. Kocho gave me a new yukata after I ripped my old one from my last fight. Her tsugoku gave me a coin for whatever reason. But I got really shy and didn't say much.

Muichiro forgot it was my birthday and thought it was Kocho’s, so he gave me her present. He thought it was funny to pin the butterfly to my hair. The girls started giggling at me so I chased him around the Butterfly Mansion.

Himejima-san gave me a cat. She's very cute. I named her Shizu, after mom. She followed me everywhere and even peed on Muichiro’s foot. He said she was stupid but later on I found him carrying her around.

Her white fur made me think of you. If you ever forgive me one day I'm sure you'll love her too. She likes the smell of ohagi too apparently.

***

Dear Aniki,

Rengoku-san the Flame Pillar and Kanroji the Love Pillar came to visit Himejima-san today. Rengoku-san gave me ohagi, so I thanked him but he said it wasn't from him. I'm praying this means you don't completely hate me.

Muichiro came over to Himejima-san’s estate today too by mistake, but he decided to stay and train with me anyway. He asked to see Shizu and that's when I realized she was missing.

How hard could it be to find a snowy white cat? That's what we thought until we (me mostly, Muichiro kept forgetting where he had looked) hunted everywhere for her. Then Rengoku-san said he saw her run pass him and when we looked she jumped off a tree and took off.

I still can't stop turning red whenever I think about how I slammed into Kanroji chasing Shizu, so I immediately ran off with Muichiro. I hope if I meet her again she'll have forgotten about it.

Dumb cat.

***

Dear Aniki,

Today that Kamado kid - the one who broke my arm back at Final Selection after I grabbed the Ubuyashiki girl; hope she doesn't hold it against me - picked up the stack of letters I accidentally dropped. You know it's the anniversary of everyone's death today, so I was planning on taking the letters I've been writing to them to burn. Usually I would just leave flowers and prayers at the shrine Himejima-san helped me make because we never got to bury them, but since Kocho taught me to write I decided to make a new tradition.

Anyway I knew he didn't mean to read them but I got mad anyway until he told me his family died the same way and he was happy that I was still honoring their memory of whatever. I wish me and you were like him and his sister. I wonder what would've happened if we had stayed together? I never meant to hurt you like that.

I don't remember writing any of this. Did I change my handwriting or something? Who's Aniki?

I've just chased away Muichiro. I can't believe he got our notebooks mixed up and started reading mine. I hope he didn't read anything…too personal. Foggy brained idiot just stared at me and left.

He came back later. He didn't apologize but handed me a watermelon. He's forgiven…I guess? I don't even want to know he got it from, especially when I can hear Kinzaki and that pig head boy shouting.

***

Dear Aniki,

Today's the day before the final battle and I don't have much time to write as much as I want to, so I'll make this entry quick.

Muichiro has become a much nicer person, and I've had a lot of fun with him over time. I'm gonna miss training with him and talking and cloud gazing together afterwards. I hope we both don't die. He called me his best friend the other day and although I got really flustered I don't want it to be the last time.

Kocho and the Butterfly Girls celebrated my “graduation” of learning how to write the other day. Maybe one day you'll be able to come and celebrate some other occasion with us.

I will never be able to repay everything Himejima-san has done for me. I owe him for the slayer I am today. I hope the wooden bracelet I carved will be able to convey it. I can write now but I'm no good with words.

I'm really grateful to Kamado and his sister for reminding me during the battle at the Swordsmith Village why I joined the Corps. I'm going to prove myself to you and apologize for once and for all. I don't know what I'm going to do if you keep pushing me away even after all this. I miss you a lot.

I swear we'll be brothers again after this battle.

[hildagirl99]

Volume 4: The tribe of heaven

Chapter 1: The letter

That's it. Hilda had the results. She could never have children again. Recently, she and Cagney had tried to get one, unfortunately, she had a miscarriage. Following her visit to the gynecologist, she discovered that now she was menopausal. Holding the papers in her hands, she burst into tears. Cagney stood beside her, hugging her.

"Now that ... I'm post-menopausal, are you going to look elsewhere?" Hilda asked, her face wet with tears.

"What? How dare you tell me that! Never ! It's not because we can have more children that I will go elsewhere! I love you Hilda, I would never be fooled. You're always the one I love and the most beautiful. "Cagney said wiping her tears.

"But look at me! I'm approaching fifty I'm starting to age, you too! I am an old skin that no longer deserves the name of Hilda Berg, Goddess of Heaven ... I'll be good at staying nailed on a wheelchair ... "

"You're still my Hilda, we'll be strong ..." he said kissing her cheek. She finally let out a small smile.

"I'll make you a tea, whatever you like," Cagney said as he got up.

"Oh yes ~ don't forget the coconut cookies!" Ria Hilda, having found her smile but still saddened by the loss of being able to have no more children.

Meanwhile, Sunia had a calendar in her hands, mumbling with a pencil between her teeth.

"So if I calculate well, I had them a week ago, in two days, it would be two weeks ... since it is Saturday ... it should perhaps work!"

"Do you think so?" Loan said, standing behind her.

"Yes ! We can try ~ "

"I can't wait, sweetheart," Loan said, hugging her.

"Haste what?" Said Cagney, who had come down at the same time.

"Nothing daddy! It's between Loan and me ~ "Sunia said with a smile.

"It's about ... making love?"

"Pfffff !" She said, turning on her heels as she walked up to her room with Loan.

He scratches his head for a moment, then prepares the tea for his wife. Suddenly someone knocked on the door. By this time, it could only be the factor. He opened the door.

"Hello Mr. Carnation! I bring you a letter from a certain Oswald Wind for your wife! "

"Who's he?" Cagney asked.

"It seems to me, from what he told me, he was a friend and notary of Miss Berg's parents ..." he said a little nervous.

"It looks important ... I'll give him the letter, thank you!"

"Service ... good day!"

And he closed the door.

Hilda had gone down and was savoring her tea.

"Who was it ?"

"The postman and ... it's for you," he said, handing him the letter.

"It's from who ?"

"A Oswald Wind ... you know? Apparently he was a friend and notary of your parents! "

Hilda's heart misses a beat, was he close to his parents? Someone from his family who could have found her? She opened the letter and reads these words:

Dear Miss Berg,

I present you my humble greetings. My name is Oswald Wind, I was a close friend of your parents, Luna Berg and Ventarus Berg. Finally, I'm glad you're still alive. I will be as direct as possible, I will come to visit you tomorrow morning, accompanied by a person who would be very possible that it is your sister! Forgive me if the words shock you. I will explain in more detail the reason for my coming tomorrow morning.

Best regard,

O. Wind.

Hilda was shaking, the letter in her hands, she was thinking of a hoax, that it was not true. A sister ? But since when? It was impossible.

"Honey, maybe it's a mistake! You don't have a sister! "Cagney said, trying to calm her down.

"But it was a friend of my parents, that means he knew them!" Full of questions, torments came to her mind. Maybe it was a truth?

"We're not going to get him home, huh?"

"Cagney ... it must be. This man knows my parents, maybe there is something or someone from my family who would have found me? I want to be clear. And ... I want you to stay by my side, "she said as she posed the letter.

"I'll stay with you," Cagney said, holding his hand, still trembling.

When evening came, Hilda did not speak of the letter to Flora and Sunia. She wanted to meet this stranger and have answers to tell them everything. It was too personal, she was reliving her past that had made her so sad after her mother's death. Her mother was so secretive that she had hidden so much from her to protect her. Now she is certain that there are so many things hidden from her that she has not discovered yet. She fell asleep, her heart tight.

thanks to @yonnichan-art for the coloring ~

To be continued