#what do you mean he summoned a whole Greek battalion once time?!

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

conversation with friend

Me: (Explains the inconsistent powers of Kit)

Friend: Wow, I need to knee cap him for this fic

Me: Do em like his brother

Friend: aksshhalldj

[projectnero]

PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE: THE SENTINEL

The last person to join our Team, just at the end of 1910, it should be noted that Mr. McCarthy is the most innocent of us all. Despite his skills, most of the team sees him as someone to be protected; this is in large part due to his naivete and ever-growing fondness for his teammates, as well as his ability to endear himself to anyone he meets.

I figured this was one of the more imperative profiles to go ahead and get out there, because Mr. McCarthy, as an extremely empathetic man, serves as the team’s emotional translator. His unique ability to see everyone’s perspective makes him a good storyteller, and I would be lying if I said that he wouldn’t be an asset to the transcription of this project. As such, Mr. McCarthy will be providing incident reports and analyses of interpersonal behavior on the team.

NAME: Siomon Mac Carthaigh

ALIASES: Simon, Mr. McCarthy, Druid, Sentinel, Crybaby, Loverboy, Tree-hugger

AGE: Born 1432

HEIGHT: 6′6″

WEIGHT: 200 lbs.

SPECIES: Enhanced Human (Subspecies: Magic; Divine)

NOTABLE ABILITIES:

Mr. McCarthy is a hyper-sensitive person. While for most people this would be a hindrance in every-day life, Mr. McCarthy’s job as a guardian to those who cannot speak for themselves is only made easier by his aptitude for emotions and stimuli.

Due to Mr. McCarthy’s connections to Abnoba and Cernunnos, he is strengthened whenever connected to the Earth; note that, while in other cases, this would be incredibly restricting due to wording, the Celtic gods are not ones for word puzzles or riddles. Anything made from Earthly materials qualifies as “Earth”, essentially meaning Mr. McCarthy is, for lack of a better term, omniscient. 

We would be absolutely fucked if aliens came to Earth, but otherwise, Mr. McCarthy is a radar, GPS, sonar, AND targeting system all wrapped into one. 

Mr. McCarthy’s magic serves to make him the single best surgeon and combat medic on the team; his high value to the team means the brass is unwilling to send him out directly into the fray, however, so Ms. Agave serves as the field medic, with Mr. Takahashi taking those in dire need of medical attention directly to Battalion to be addressed by Mr. McCarthy. He has never once lost a patient.

Though his abilities are not as extensive as Mr. Kennedy’s, Mr. McCarthy is capable of shifting into a number of different creatures, as is the case with most druids. His favorite forms are the bear, the goat, and the raven.

Mr. McCarthy is somehow capable of siphoning his divine blessings to the team, providing energy, vitality, and strength to each member of the team. To say I’m jealous would be an understatement. If I could spread even a single brain cell, a single DROP of Apollo or Thoth’s great enlightenment to ANY of my team members, we would have taken over the world by now. As it stands, Mr. McCarthy is only to provide blessings for short-term engagements, as one of the side effects of blessing people with Cernunnos’s will is... ah... increased fertility. This means lots of hormones, and the need to breed clouding every person’s better judgement.

Mr. McCarthy’s natural affinity for spirits, plants, and animals has helped his relationship with Ms. Agave immensely, and oftentimes the two bounce off of each other, working as a cohesive unit. Ms. Agave has expressed a potential interest in having her family moved to The Tearmann Grove, a forest in Northern Ireland under Mr. McCarthy’s protection. 

Mr. McCarthy’s increased stamina, strength, endurance, speed, and vitality (we will not mention the fertility part) has helped him to carry out tasks that would normally require the strength of hundreds of men; as it stands, Simon’s addition to the team has meant that Mr. Amos no longer needs to do all of the heavy lifting.

Cernunnos’s blessing has granted Mr. McCarthy massive rams horns that, should he find himself cornered, he can use to gore enemies; not even the strongest armor can stand up to his horns.

Finally, the druidic runes and tattoos inscribed on Mr. McCarthy’s body provide a sort of defense system, should anyone attempt to capture him; touch must be verified and approved by Simon first, otherwise his body will naturally reject any and all contact in a rather... excruciating manner. Imagine going to place your hand on him in one spot and ending up being burned with the fires of a thousand suns, or placing a hand on another rune and feeling the pain of being put to death in an electric chair. His body is a temple, but more or less one of those temples you see in an Indiana Jones movie.

NOTABLE WEAKNESSES:

Simon has an incredibly weak constitution. It is hard to tell what will set him off, but if something is gross or upsetting enough, he will either cry, run away, or vomit. This has made confronting him with problems infuriatingly confusing because on one hand I trust this man to put his hands inside of my guts when they’re falling out, but at the same time he is a child I wish to hug and assure that everything will be alright.

Despite his tolerance for emotions and stimuli, he has been known to be overwhelmed at times, rendering him incapacitated in a multitude of ways for days. During this time, Mr. McCarthy can generally be found laying in bed, trying to read a good book or sleep. The symptoms are very common with those of fatigue and exhaustion.

Simon’s many blessings have the unfortunate side effect of giving him the disposition of a wild animal. Is he capable of reasoning? Yes. Does that mean he is any less bestial? Hell no. I once walked into the common room to see him in his goat form, chewing on a tin can. He stared into my eyes as he swallowed it whole. It was a traumatizing experience.

Simon requires an extensive amount of time for meditation and preparation before a task is to be carried out, and interrupting even one of his chants or incantations is grounds for starting over. In worst case scenarios, interrupting a chant has been known to summon horrible demonic entities. Be fucking careful people.

Simon is averse to violence, as am I. He is not above getting his hands dirty when need be, but that is a last resort. He has described himself as a lover and not a fighter, and despite being the guardian of both this team and his sacred grove, the druid only uses force when all else has failed.

DIAGNOSES:

Hyper-sexuality, due to increased vitality given by Cernunnos.

High-Functioning Autism.

Hyper-Sensitive Persons Disorder.

Empathy.

ADHD.

BACKGROUND:

Hello! Simon here!

There is not much to tell about my family; my father was a Celtic druid and my mother was a Greek acolyte. My twin sister and I followed much of the same route.

Keep in mind when I say “twin”, my sister does not look a thing like me. I am pale, with some tan marks here and there, with the appearance of an Irishman, while my sister has the skin color and complexion of a Central Asian woman. This is how it has always been in our family.

Our names, bodies, appearances are all determined by who we choose as our patron deities. We have been coveted by Gods of every major pantheon; our decision is made when we are 18, and then our bodies change to match.

I was seduced by Cernunnos and Abnubo, and so when I made the decision to serve them, I was given rams horns, suns for eyes, and a pale complexion with long red hair. I chose the name Siomon Mac Carthaigh. She chose the name Minerva Stanis. She was deadset on serving Athena ever since she was 12.

I headed out into the world, emigrating to Ireland to begin planting and caring for my Sanctuary. A Grove where creatures of all kind could live in peace. It is my only purpose in this life. I guard it with my life.

Sometimes I write to Minerva, who owns a small book shop in Athens that she uses as a front for her alchemy and witchcraft. Sometimes she writes back, tells me about all the battles she had seen with Athena. Sometimes I smirk to myself. She never wanted to be a champion for glory, never wanted to fight, and she chose Athena simply because she would give her freedom; and yet Athena had just as many enemies as the next God.

It ended up that I had the most peaceful and relaxing job of the two of us. I hang out with animals, tattoo my body, and tend to plants. At least I did.

In the early 1900s, I received a divination from my patron Gods for the first time in 30 years. It was time for me to spread their will and serve alongside mortals. I was told about this project, despite it barely being a thought in Dr. Fero’s head. I sought them out, but by the time I arrived, Dr. Fero had already found everyone else.

Now I listen to people’s problems and provide emotional support. Still not as bad as fighting Manticores.

Poor, poor Minerva.