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lumbarphilosophies-blog · 2 years

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What do I think Of Biden, Now, As President? (A Question I Accidently deleted)

1st of all, I am sorry to whoever asked this as I accidently deleted your question, hopefully you will see this... Once again I hate talking politics so instead of going down a laundry list of things of why I think Biden is the worst President we've had in the last 20 or so years. I'm just going to start with one topic.

GAS PRICES

I believe Biden directly controls the gas prices by the policies he pushes. Such as shuttering the pipeline, reducing refinery capacity and sanctioning 43% of the world's natural gas and oil supply.

They claimed gas prices were high because of Russia right? Wrong. The majority of the gas price hikes took place before russia.

They claimed the President has no control over Gas Prices. This statement is also incorrect. It is actually one of the issues where they have more control than most people. This is because the oil business is all about projection rather than supply and demand. Future Earnings and determining whether or when you’re going to drill or pull back. You will sometimes see gas prices drop depending on when someone comes into office just because of policies that may not be enacted for another year or two because they’re willing to invest knowing they’ll recoup it.

Now if you worked for a fossil fuel company what would you do if someone came into office threatening to shut down your company and claimed to enact policies that would greatly affect you, your profits, etc.

May 15th 2020

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June 11th 2019

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September 6th 2019 “I guarantee you, we are going to end Fossil Fuel!!!”

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Biden has taken over 80 actions impacting or what would impact gas prices/fossil fuels. Largely against them. Most of them are executive orders.

Paris Climate Accord

He revoked the Keystone XL Pipeline (Keystone XL is different from Keystone)

He supported increases of $230,000,000,000 in taxes on oil

He reinstated the social cost of carbon metric

The Climate Change Order

Climate Financing

Climate Financial risk

That’s to name a few, I’ll leave a link listing all the policies, executive orders, taken against fossil fuel.

Another false claim is that it is the result or “Bounce back” from Covid. Meaning more people are driving now than during Covid… The problem with that statement is there is no data to suggest that this is even remotely true. Again, if you look at the prices on that chart you will see the before and after Covid and it remained hovering around $2.50 a gallon. Look at when the steep increase took place

There is a false claim that under President Joe Biden there is actually more domestic drilling than President Trump. Really? The truth is Biden did approve more drilling permits at a whopping number of 4,881 in 2021 than Trump’s 4,631 permits issued in 2020. However, the permits issued under Biden are for leases sold mostly under Trump… See what I’m saying? It rolled over, they’re rollover leases. If this piece of information doesn’t matter to you then maybe this will…. The Biden Administration slashed the approvals of drilling in August 2021.

Permits Slashed: “The data suggest the administration wants to show it’s meeting its obligation to issue permits for existing leases.”

YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER

Look, this is just one of his many failings but I've spent to long typing this out on just one topic that to disect his entire presidency and everything I believe he has done wrong would take me days and weeks to describe on this platform. That being said I'll speak briefly on inflation.

INFLATION

The CPI (Instrument to measure Inflation) went up 7.9% through february of 2022 which is the highest inflation rate for a quarter or month in 40 years.

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If you do the math it is exactly 40 years since the embarrassment of Jimmy Carter where the CPI rose 13.5% in 1980. That number (13.5%) included the rising cost of housing. (Don’t know if you’ve noticed but that’s still kind of a problem today too) The numbers under Joe Biden (7.9%) does not include the rising cost of housing, so the inflation rate is actually 11%. These numbers are old and guaranteed to have risen at this time on December 30th 2022.

I DO NOT BEGRUDGE ANYONE WHO VOTED FOR HIM, I DO HOWEVER BELIEVE WE WERE BETTER OFF WITH TRUMP!

GOD BLESS!

#Youtube

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caermorrighan · 9 days

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Plans vs (Realistic) Planning

The inspiration for this came, from all places, from a World of Warcraft stream, talking about some of the challenges the game has faced over the past few years. But I think it has a pretty wide application. Essentially, the thesis was that there is a difference between making plans and planning.

And that rings very true. We see it every year, every half year, every quarter when we make plans in the form of goals and resolutions. Sometimes those are just a vague idea, which barely counts as a plan. Sometimes they are fully fleshed out plans. You could even go as far as working out all the steps, undertaking the first few of them. And then still fail. One reason for that might be the difference between plans and planning.

Goals are not planning, they are plans

Our goals are not going to magically achieve themselves. We need to make them happen. A part of that is setting the right goals, but another part is working out the detail of how to implement them. What steps do you need to go through to meet your goal? How will you know when you've succeed? I normally start with a backlog.

Backlogs are not planning, they are plans

I normally create a backlog for something I want to achieve. There are a lot of benefits to this - it removes decision fatigue and confusion. It lets me assess the real scale of what I am making a plan for. But, you still just have a list. The list helps, but if its just a big long list then, to be honest, its probably a bit overwhelming.

The next step is planning.

I've taken the name for backlogs from agile methodology, particularly scrum. What you do, in scrum, is take a plan and turn it into planning.

How I do planning from my backlogs?

First of all, I ensure my backlogs are prioritised. I need to know what is most important to me. Otherwise you end up wandering around in the corner getting something done that doesn't really align with your overall goals. For example, if I have a backlog to read a book for work, and a backlog to read a book for personal development, I need to decide which book takes priority. All things are never equal.

Then, once I have things in an order, I start by scheduling some of them. How many depends on how big they are vs how much time you have. So the second thing you want to do with backlogs is understand the scale of each item. Say one of your books has 5 chapters and another 20 chapters. Are those equal? If a chapter in book one takes 20 minutes to read, you have 100 minutes of reading. If the chapters in the other book take 5 minutes to read, you still have 100 minutes of reading. If you have 10 minutes to read a day, you can get through either book in 10 days. But how you schedule that work will look a little different.

In scrum, you don't actually size your work items by minutes taken. Because you don't know how long they will take up front. But you can probably compare them. If reading one chapter in the 5 chapter book is a large task, then reading one chapter in the 20 chapter book is a small task. An approach I think suits personal planning here is t-shirt sizes. Mark items on your backlog as XS, S, M, L, XL. If you want to do numbers instead, a common scale used is a modified Fibonnaci sequence - 0.5, 1, 3, 5, 8, 13. You can keep going but at some point estimating above a certain number in the scale just means your task is too big and you should break it up.

Now you can move on to the final step of planning - figuring out how much you can do in a day or week - however you prefer to plan. Scrum generally works in 'sprints' which are generally two weeks. But I tend to plan monthly and weekly in personal terms.

This will take some trial and error but eventually you'll get an idea of how much you can do. I suggest, while you work it out, that you keep the number of tasks low. You can always pick up the next thing on the list if you complete everything.

Now you have both a plan and planning, and a much better chance of success, right? Assuming your plan survives contact with the enemy. Which is never. The enemy here being life. Being the unexpected things that crop up. Being the day you lose to a migraine. Being the news that sweeps in and leaves you unable to focus. Being the new obsession you develop.

So lets add a few modifiers.

Apply the principles of slow productivity. Do less. Even when you discover how much you can do in a month, put less things in. Spend time making sure the ones you do pick are done well. And if you get those done, you can go ahead and work on the next thing and 'get ahead'.

Schedule in your filling the well activities too. Make sure you have a backlog for this. Not in a 'here's an endless list of books I will never read' way. More in a 'here are a couple of books I am excited to read so I don't have to make a decision when I come to this' way. It's very easy to not do these things. I backlist just books, but the things I want to do in games, or podcast episodes. If you don't add it to the to do list, it will get buried. You can schedule specifics or just 'pick an activity' each day. I do a mix, depending on how I am feeling.

Make sure your plan is flexible. I picked three specific days of the week on which to post to Tumblr. And then realised that I needed to be more flexible because the rest of my life is flexible and there would be different days of the week on which I was more or less able to write. So now my goal is 'post three times in the week'.

Think about your planning horizons. I tend to set up my week in advance for regular tasks and then add others to a 'sometime this week list'. I have to keep reminding myself to do this because I love to plan in advance, but I know that if I do it, I'll end up 'failing' because life is complex.

Lastly, keep the why in mind. If all else fails, forget it all and go back to the reason you set this goal in the first place. Think again about how you are going to get there in a way that will actually work.

And this is the true way to move from plans to planning. What we often think of as 'planning' is only part of the story. Planning means making your plan happen. Realistically. Which means your plans have to reflect your reality and not some dream where you perfectly fill every spare hour with productive activity and never have to change plans. So by all means set goals, write lists, schedule activities, but don't forget to build in flexibility, relaxation and ways to make your plans achievable and sustainable.

#planning #plans #achieving your goals

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alexandy99 · 2 years

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Hey, I’m going to answer my NSFW # asks in one post. Thanks everyone who sent them in ❤️ Warnings for weird kink talk

6. First time having sex?

I was 15 and I thought I was very smart and sexually mature. I snuck him into the house and we made out on a mattress on the floor of my room with a Fall Out Boy album on. It wasn’t good at all, neither of us had any idea what we were doing. I distinctly remember him saying, “A little help here?”

7. Biggest turn on?

Watching a belly get big and full😌

8. Biggest turn off?

Hmmmmmmm. Someone not being interesting enough. You better entertain the shit out of me.

10. Weirdest thing that ever turned you on?

Welllllll lol. I mean it’s weird, but you asked. I’m kind of into seeing people swallow stuff lately. People will like, swallow marbles, and then they make little marble shaking sounds in their belly. The endo cams that show inside the stomach. More stuff in that vein, but I’d say those are the weirdest. I also keep getting turned on when my friend tells me about her GI problems and how much it makes her burp.

23. What is too big for you to take?

I am big but I can’t take big. I’d say average to large is good. Not into xl cock/toys. As for the clear second meaning of this question, I enjoy every size fatty, and I really don't think there's too big.

31. Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood?

I'm always a little horny honestly. Spontaneous is hot. But I will still take some foreplay, thanks.

84. Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? How do you prefer partners?

Sometimes I trim. I am hairy in general. I hate shaving lol, so uncomfortable. Partners can do whatever.

96. What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen?

Hmmmmm the weird beastiality and clown porn my friends showed me in middle school?? Some of the other stuff I like is weird, but that’s really the height.

100. Do you have any friends you’d sleep with?

I would sleep with genuinely almost any of my friends. Is that not normal? 🥵

#my text #ask

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thanakite · 3 years

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Honestly, nothing will be more telling to me than saying "they have XL for plus sized women"

Like, thanks you just told me you are thin and that everyone you know is thin (and that the chance of you being fatphobic is much higher)

To be clear XL is still a normal basic size, like yes it's "extra" but the reality is that if your comfortable size is XL you still aren't that fat (not a competition or anything just facts) and XL's are also used by people who are a medium or large actually (sometimes even small or XS) just because it's then looser and more comfortable on them, most brands sell up to XL it isn't special when they do, it's kind of the bare minimum

Personally, I fit but am not comfortable in a 3XL and really need at least 4XL to actually feel comfortable (At least shirt wise, I wear like 2XL for pants) and it is incredibly hard to find 3XL let alone 4XL and the reality is that I actually know a number of people who are much wider than me who would have to be wearing probably at least 6XL

If a brand is actually set up for plus sized people they need to be going up to at least 4XL and really should be hitting more like 6-8XL to be really indicating that they want to help out plus sized people. But yeah 4XL should be the minimum that is allowed before a brand can be called "Plus sized friendly" or anything like that, and if you are being positive about a company you like and say something like "They even cater to plus sizes!" And then list that they only go to XL or 2XL or put me in a place where I go to their website and find they max out there, then you are part of the problem

All brand should be going up to these larger sizes because in the end they CAN (they don't have to be they can, and since profits are oh so important you'd think they would) charge more for items as they become larger to fit plus sized people, and at this point the only reason not to is fatphobia. Fatphobia is so ingrained in our society that apparently companies would rather not have fat people wearing their clothes than have more money coming in from fat people buying them, and that is so incredibly horrible

Like you all do know that fat people need to wear clothes too right? And we deserve the dignity everyone else is afforded of being able to buy clothes we like not just setting for what fits

You know that fat people are people just like everyone else who deserve to be able to go into a random store at the mall and be able to find something they like in their size right?

And yes, some brands do better than others, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have a long way to go. Like Rihanna's brand for example. I kept hearing from everyone how they cater to plus sized people and were doing good work, and needed some new bras. I go to their website and start looking through. Because of my chronic pain problems I really need bralettes as they don't have wire or padding both of which are problematic for me, and I really need a 4XL on those, Savage X Fenty only goes up to 3XL for bralettes though. A brand that everyone was raving was amazing for being inclusive of plus sized people and they don't even go above 3XL, a size that too be clear does fit some plus sized people, but can also be used by XL people who just want to be comfier (and again XL is really still a regular size). Like I have big boobs sure, but I also know of many people with bigger boobs. I bought 3 bralettes anyway to see if I could make any of them work and only 1 really did because it was stretchy and I'm fine with strapping my boobs down. If I was more sensitive to that though (like my sister who gets pressure hives) it wouldn't work at all, and again there are many people bigger than me in the world

I bring up this specific example because you know who really needs bras? People with big boobs. You know who bra brands don't cater to? Also people with big boobs. Like that is just reality, if your boobs are small or just smaller you can typically go braless with relative ease, and many with smaller boobs choose to wear bras largely to make their boobs look better or bigger. People with with big boobs though? We need bras to stop our boobs from hurting us, to stop them sagging and pulling our bodies with them, we need them because it is very obvious when we don't wear them and if you aren't try to draw that attention or are trying to be or appear professional you need a bra to avoid issues

Going in and getting measurements and having something altered isn't usually great either as most places have limited number of things that could be altered to fit. Still on the bra thing I went and was measured at a Nordstrom where they are supposed to be good and helpful about finding bras that can be altered to fit your size and they only had 2 bras that could be altered to fit me, a black and a beige, both with wires and padding which I already said I didn't want. And once more I have seen people with much bigger boobs!

Like this is a broken system that needs to be improved and not based on these dumb beauty standards and the idiotic and debunked notions that fat = unhealthy and lazy and is a personal choice and that even if that was the case that it means we deserve to be treated as less, and insisting that a company is doing great and is catering to plus sized people when they don't even reach the bare minimum I set above makes you part of the problem

P.S. to those who are going to claim that I've set the bar too high and that it should be 2XL or 3XL for the minimum understand that I am honestly not that big and again have seen, met, and know many who are larger than me and I wear 4XL. That is the bare minimum I set because if I was able to comfortably fit in 2XL or 3XL most probably wouldn't consider me plus sized anymore based on my appearance. This is the bare minimum because the reality is that 2XL and 3XL isn't that fat! And if you think people who wear those sizes are fat and that it's a problem then you should look inside yourself and confront the fact you are fatphobic. Also if you are fat and see this and have that same thought you should probably confront the internal bias you have set against other fat people that society plants in us all, you'll probably feel better in the long run if you do. The world is fucked and people are too, but we need to be a society where people aren't judged and degraded for stuff outside of their control and stuff that has no actual affect on others or harms them in any way, and this is a big part of that

#fatphobia #fat #plus sizes #plus sized #actually fat #brands #some bullshit #like i dont go to malls since they never have my size #but yeah stop acting like a brand that goes up to XL is plus size friendly

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dabbingwithdabi · 4 years

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🔪 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 🔪

↳ 🄷🄸🄶🄷 🅂🄲🄷🄾🄾🄻 🄰🅄!!】

↳ 🅃🄾🅈🄰 🅃🄾🄳🄾🅁🄾🄺🄸!!🄳🄰🄱🄸/🄵🄴🄼!!🅁🄴🄰🄳🄴🅁/🅃🄾🄼🅄🅁🄰 🅂🄷🄸🄶🄰🅁🄰🄺🄸】

↳ 🄲🄷🄰🅁🄰🄲🅃🄴🅁🅂 🄰🅁🄴 🅂🄴🄽🄸🄾🅁🅂 🄸🄽 🄷🄸🄶🄷 🅂🄲🄷🄾🄾🄻】

Warning: Violence, Mentions of Sexual Behavior

She sipped her juice box viciously, her e/c eyes shot daggers into the brunette in front of her. y/n watched as Nakamura Aya, a new transfer student from Kyoto, Japan, flirt with Toya Todoroki, her Toya Todoroki or so she dreamed of. Aya was the talk of the school, already had boys drooling at the sight of her. But, realistically, she was boring. She was plain, boring. The only thing she had going for her was her butt, hell not even that.

"What the hell are you looking at? Look at what you did, sucked the life out of that damn juice box, thirsty much?" her classmate, Tomura Shigaraki murmured. y/n rolled her eyes as she sat back in her seat.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Sandman." y/n snipped as she threw the juice box down to the ground, Tomura grunted in response as he went back to fiddling with his pencil, 'What a weird girl,' he thought. Class continued like usual, however, it wasn't until the last bell. y/n got up from her desk as she gathered her things, huffing as she stormed out the classroom. y/n failed to notice the snow colored-haired trailing after her. He gathered the papers that fell from her hand as she rushed out the classroom.

Holding the papers to his chest, he noticed a particular one that had heart drawing on it. He forwards his eyebrows in curiosity. His singled out the drawn hearts paper, holding it in his pale hand. His tired red eyes skimmed the paper before him, it was a love letter written out to Toya Todoroki, he stopped as he noticed another drawing. This drawing had a picture of what he assumed was the new girl, Nakamura Aya, but her eyes were scratched out, knives drawn next to her head.

'Not only is she weird, but crazy too.' he thought to himself.

Tomura surprisingly managed to catch up to the fast h/c haired girl, she stood in front of her dorm rushing to get it open. "y/n," he called out, she looked up towards the white-haired boy. "What the hell do you want now, Tomura?" She said with a groan. He held the paper with the drawings in his left hand, showing it to her. y/n's face wore a worried expression, she dropped the remainder of her things and hurried over to the boy.

"You didn't read it did you?" She questioned, she felt her chest filled with anxiety.

"Some, yes. But I did indeed see your drawings, care to explain?" Tomura asked her.

She reached for the paper, but Tomura happened to be faster than her. He chuckled as he moved back swiftly, countering her chances of grabbing the forbidden paper. She narrowed her eyes, as she continued to reach. This game of 'Lets Chase Sandman 2.0' was interrupted by the one and only, Toya and Aya. Tomura felt himself bumping into the red-haired man behind him.

"Jesus Christ," Tomura murmured as the papers flew out of his hands. y/n hurried to grab the love letter from off the ground, however, Aya was faster and picked it up. Her abnormally pink-colored eyes, she skimmed the letter before she then turned it over so only the back would show as she handed back to y/n.

y/n looked down in disbelief as she held the paper close to her chest, she got onto her knees as she continued to collect the remaining paper, "Here, let me help you." Toya started as he bent down to her level as he reached for some of her papers. "DON'T!!" y/n yelled at the red-haired man. He was taken back from her sudden outburst. "Toya let's get going. You promised to show me around the school." Aya started.

The h/c haired girl looked down in in embarrassment, the sleeve of her oversized school sweater covered her shaking hand. Tomura clicked his tongue as he kneeled to help her. "Why are you helping me?" y/n murmured in embarrassment. Tomura rolled his eyes as he continued to collect her paper before helping her up.

"Oh, shut up and let me just help you. Enough happened today anyway." He answered as he watched her stand up slowly. "Come on, I don't have all day." he continued. y/n sighed as she turned around and walked back towards her dorm door. Managing to unlock it, she pushed the door open as she kicked her books into the room. It was official, she hated Nakamura Aya.

There they sat on her XL-Twin sized bed, Tomura twiddled his thumbs as he wasn't exactly sure, what to say. He almost felt bad for the girl, Tomura wasn't always the most empathic man, there was, but he was trying, keyword trying.

After a few seconds of silence, y/n cleared her throat, "Am I pretty?" she asked.

"H-huh?" Tomura turned and looked at the girl, where was all this coming from? Did that Aya girl really bother her that much? "I mean, I guess, I don't know." He murmured in reply. y/n jumped up from her spot in anger, she turned on her heels standing in front of the white-haired man, who remained on her bed.

"You think!? You're not helping, Tomura!" She yelled as she e/c eyes begin to burn with tears.

Tomura threw his hands up in defeat, "Relax! What the fuck!" he yelled back. He stood up from his spot as well, y/n were now inches apart. Taking a step back, y/n continued to stare down the man. He inches closer to the girl, as a creepy sly smirk appeared on his chapped lips, y/n took three more steps back.

y/n's face wore a look of disgust, "Don't grin like that, it's creepy." She started. He chuckled as he bent down to reach her level face to face. "At least I'm not the one crying over someone who doesn't notice my existence. Besides, you don't stand out enough to even get him to look at you. But that Aya sure does, oh what would you ever do, y/n?" His voice dipped in venom; he knew exactly what he was doing.

Tomura knew y/n was vulnerable, and he knew she'd do anything to get Toya Todoroki to even acknowledge her. He was simply plotting against her, he wanted to corrupt her, besides, her quirk, it was a powerful one. Tomura Shigaraki, was a wolf in sheep's clothing. He watched as y/n began to dissociate, as if a switch was turned on.

"But I'm feeling generous, I'll be more than happy to help you." he said.

There she stood in front of him, he was right. Who was she compared to Aya? y/n felt something inside of her, crack, as if she was made of glass, it starts off small then grows bigger overtime as powerful winds and rocks hit against it, breaking it down even more. However, she was not aware of the rocks and wind, that Tomura Shigaraki was the wind and rock that would cause her to crack completely before she collapses in on herself.

"W-what do I do, Tomura?" y/n asked as her eyes focused on the ground, she felt embarrassed asking this man for help. He wore a sickening grin on his chapped lips, he didn't realize exactly how easy it was to manipulate a vulnerable girl. Desperate for love and attention from a guy who doesn't even look in her direction? Tomura knew, y/n would do whatever it would take to get Toya to notice her. This was going to be easier than he thought. Perhaps he'll be able to distort her reality completely.

Weeks went by since the little interaction happened between; Toya, Aya, y/n and Tomura. Toya found himself going nearly everywhere with Aya. He'd walk her to class, walk her to her dorm. Sometimes even joined her, they did practically everything together. It made y/n sick to her stomach, y/n found herself sticking to Tomura more than anyone, she failed to notice how she changed. Her once bright e/c eyes, were now cold and dark, as if she walked through the pits of hell and back.

She even changed where she sat during class, instead of her usual window seat. y/n sat in the back-right corner of the classroom, there sat beside her was Tomura Shigaraki. He had her wrapped around his finger, she was at his command, he almost didn't want Toya to notice her. He wanted her all to himself, hell, he even convinced y/n to sleep with him. "If you're not experienced, he's not going to want to be with you." he would say, and with that he found himself in the h/c haired girl's dorm.

There he sat next to her in the back of the classroom, a lewd blush appeared on his pale as his perverted mind begins to drift off into outer space. Goosebumps crept up his arms as he could practically taste her on his tongue. Tomura rested his head onto his desk as he closed his eyes, wanting to envision the intimate moments he once shared with the h/c haired girl besides him.

He could practically hear her whimpers in his ear, as his lips attacked her soft s/c skin. A wave of chills ran down his back, just like her nails did the first night they shared together. He could recall it all, in almost perfect detail. Tomura, grunted as he shifted in discomfort. Lifting his head up, Tomura looked over at y/n. She wore a look of intensity, focused on something, that wasn't him.

His red eyes investigated the direction she studied, he watched as Toya moved his right hand under his desk. Tomura watched in disgust as he could hear the small whimpers of Aya in front of Toya. y/n watched with hatred; she wanted that bitch crying for help as her small s/c hands wrapped around Aya's neck. y/n decided she wouldn't wait for Tomura to give the 'okay', she was going to kill that bitch today, at lunch.

It was the last bell, indicating it was lunch time. y/n smirked as she waited for the two to get it, Toya removed his hand from under his desk as he waited for Aya to get up first. His eyes watched as she slowly got up, adjusting her skirt secretly. Aya let out a sigh as she dismissed herself from her desk, he watched her in awe. He got up and trailed after her. y/n quickly got up as she followed behind the red head. Tomura felt as his stomach turn with jealousy. As he too followed the rest of them.

Toya followed Aya into the courtyard, she glanced back at the red head as she flaunted her skirt ever so slightly. He wore a grin on his face, and he continued towards her, once reaching her. She put her hand up, "Not so fast mister, it's your turn to buy lunch. I'll go find a spot, okay?" she said with a sly smirk. y/n hide behind a large tree as she watched Toya walk away, her eyes became fixated on the one and only, Aya Nakamura.

'Remember go for the throat, just like Tomura taught you.' y/n thought, once Toya was out of view, she stepped from behind the tree and stalked towards Aya, she sat patiently for Toya's return. y/n stopped as she stood behind the bench, she cleared her throat loudly, Aya flinched and turned around quickly. "Oh, hey y/n." she greeted, y/n wore a look of hate. "Don't hey me, bitch. You know I don't like you." y/n snapped, Aya rolled her eyes.

"You're just mad because Toya doesn't want you. Hell, I even forgot your existence. If I'm being honest." Aya snapped right back, y/n grinned as she walked around the courtyard bench. Aya watched as her body tensed up, she knew y/n was a weird bitch, but now she was just creepy. "You don't scare me." Aya said as she wore a poker face.

"And you think you scare me?" y/n chuckled as she stood in front of her rival, Aya narrowed her eyes as she stood up. There they stood inches apart, "Watch who you pick fights with." Aya snarled, as she cracked her fingers together as he quirk began to activate. "No need to use your quirk." y/n continued. Without second thought, Aya shoved y/n back. "Get away from me, you're such a weird bitch!!" she yelled.

It was as if the window to her sanity finally collapsed in on itself, her window of sanity, finally broke, it was gone. With that, the h/c haired girl brought her fist back, thrusting it forward colliding with Aya's nose. She yelped as she held her nose, y/n didn't stop there. She grabbed the girl by her hair throwing her to the ground.

In a distance, Tomura watching in amusement, the sound of people gasping surrounded him. Everyone watched the girls fought, well more like Aya taking a beating. The sound of teachers being called, indicating the fight would come to an end soon enough.

y/n's foot collided with Aya's head once she hit the ground, mounting the once pretty girl, y/n wrapped her hands around Aya's throat. 'Go for the throat,' a voice murmured, images of Tomura over her, with his hands around her throat, as he wore a murderous look. She grew accustom to his death grip, she wondered how he managed to uphold so much strength when he only used four fingers on each of his hands to restrain her. y/n wanted to be just like him, no, she wanted to be better than him.

"What are you doing!" A voice yelled; y/n snapped back into reality as she noticed the once breathing Aya was now lifeless before her. Her eyes widen as a crazed smile appeared on her face. She looked up at the redhead before her, his turquoise eyes met her e/c ones'. She panicked; did he see her as a monster? Did she go too far? No, she didn't do enough. His eyes were half lidded, as he wore a satisfying grin on his face.

She looked at him in confusion, was he proud of her? He was hard to read, she watched as the redhaired boy kneeled in front of her, his cold hands rest on her face. She felt her heart race, she focused in as he leaned in and places his lips onto hers. She closed her eyes leaning further into the kiss. Toya slowly started up as he continued the kiss, y/n followed shortly after. He placed his lanky arm wrapped around her waist, his lips slowly moved away from hers, as he then as he engulfed her into another kiss once more.

Tomura watched in anger, he stormed towards the two, "What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Tomura yelled from across the field. He watched as Toya slowly removed his other hand from her face and placed it around her neck. Toya opened one eye in the direction of Tomura as they made eye contact, Toya activated his quirk. Within seconds, y/n felt as his hands grew uncomfortably hot. Her eyes widen as she pushed her hands onto his chest, desperately wanting to break free from him.

She was trapped, his arm tightens around her waist as his hand around her neck engulfed into blue flames. She let out a scream, as she punches his chest. Toya wore a look of amuse, before he stopped. He watches as her s/c begins to burn against his hand. "I'm giving you what you want. Isn't this want you wanted? Heh, you're cute, especially now that your beautiful neck is burnt with my mark, I can't wait to leave more." he murmured as his hand that was on your neck was now on your arm. He intended on leaving more marks.

"Get your hands off her!" Tomura yelled as he shoved the man off her, "she's mine, I'll make sure to kill you with my own hands." Tomura threatened. The trio was interrupted by the sounds of teachers yelling for help and for the police. "T-the police?" y/n questioned absentmindedly. Tomura, Toya looked at each other, "I'm not going back to jail, fuck that." Toya said as he started to run.

"Come on you idiot woman, let's get you out of here." Tomura ordered as he grabbed your wrist dragging you along. Ever since that day, you and Tomura stayed in hiding for a few years. Your parents declared you as missing, not only that, you were one of the most wanted criminals. You were now twenty, stuck in the shadows forever, with Tomura and his now renounced groups of villains; the League of Villains.

The both of you, sit alone in your guys' hideout, Tomura leaned against the bar as he awaited Twice's arrival. Kurogiri stood behind the bar cleaning their latest collection of wine cups. "Where is that fucking idiot? He's wasting my precious time, this guy he's talking about better be worth it." Shigaraki complained, the once named Tomura insisted he be called Shigaraki. He was no longer that guy in high school, he grew taller, became slimmer.

"y/n come here." he orders, you stand up from your comfortable spot on the couch, making way to the cranky man. You were different now too; you no longer had that little girl's body. You were now a woman, fuller in all the right places, you grew your hair out and dyed it f/c. It suited you, and Shigaraki loved it. His eyes scan your body, his face twisted in annoyance.

"Why are you wearing that? You know Twice is having a potential new member joining us, the least you can do is cover up. I don't want him getting ideas." Tomura murmured as his arms wrapped around you as soon as you can into reach. You couldn't tell what reality was anymore. You were lost, and Shigaraki knew it, but he loved it.

He removes father hand from his face as he leans down towards your scarred neck, he hated it. That damned Todoroki did this to you, now you were tainted and marked forever by a man he always hate. His chapped lips kiss the scar on your neck, trailing kisses along your neck. You lean your head back allowing more access, he smirked, he loved that you were so obedient. Just like he trained you all those years. That was Kurogiri's sign to leave the two alone, he turned around as he ignored the hormonal villains behind him.

"We're back! Oh? I-, this is awkward." Twice speaks, Shigaraki groaned in annoyance as he removed his lips from your neck. He threw you against the bar, you wrenched as you pushed yourself up straight again. He stood up from the bar and started towards Twice and the man behind him. "Who the hell is this?" Shigaraki asked, he looked at the man before him, his skin was two tone, pale skin with a patch of leather like skin, a scar perhaps. He stood around his height; his hair was long dark black.

"The name's Dabi." the man replied, he wore a look of boredom, Shigaraki felt insulted, "I'm sorry, am I boring you?" Shigaraki question, "If I'm being honest, yeah, a little." Dabi said blandly, his eyes shifted to y/n, who stood in the back by the bar. "Who's that?" Dabi questioned.

"I'll answer your questions when I feel like it, but for now, you don't have permission to know her name, I refuse." He threatened, Dabi rolled his eyes in annoyance. However, he stopped as he noticed the burn scar on your neck. His eyes widen, "y/n?" he said.

Y/n's eyes widen as she looked up at him, "H-how do you know my name?" she asked as she moved behind the bar standing besides, Kurogiri. "Wait, how do you know her name? Who the hell are you?" Shigaraki asked as he stood in front of Dabi directly. Then it finally clicked, "Heh, a mini high school reunion?" Dabi smirked.

That's it hits them both, "Toya?" y/n and Shigaraki spoke in unison.

"Don't call me that, it's Dabi." He said with a slight smirk, "it's glad to finally see you again, y/n. You sure did change, didn't you?" He teased. Shigaraki narrowed his eyes in annoyance, "Keep your distance from her, she's mine. You can join us, I'll admit you have an impressive quirk, but just because it's impressive doesn't mean I'll let you do as you please." Shigaraki growled.

"If you insist, you're the one who took her from me, but let's save that for another day, shall we?" Dabi smirked, Twice, and Kurogiri watched with interest, 'What exactly happened between these three? Now that I think about it, y/n does have the same scar as that Dabi kid.' Kurogiri thought.

"Like I said, keep your distance from her." He warned.

"No promises," Dabi answered.

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miafic · 4 years

Note

zakk bc he’d look super pretty in one and lucas bc he needs to feel how freeing it feels to wear one

we are in fiancé territory! i haven’t done much with that yet :)

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Zakk grinned. (Lucas couldn’t see him, but he could clearly hear the smile in his voice.)

“What?” Lucas asked.

“I may have tried something on as a joke and... really liked it?” The bright red changing room door unlocked, and Zakk peeked out. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I don’t laugh at you.”

Zakk gave him a look and repeated, “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I never do!” Lucas insisted honestly.

Slowly, Zakk pulled the door open and stepped forward so Lucas could see him.

“Oh, wow,” Lucas murmured, and he was torn between confusion and... well. They were in public, so he needed to not feel the other thing.

“Do you hate it?” Zakk asked, motioning to the crop top he was wearing.

“No, of course not,” Lucas replied. “You look great.” ‘Sexy’ would have been a much better word, but ‘great’ would suffice for the time being.

“I think so, too,” Zakk admitted, and he turned back to the mirror, tugging on one side of the hem to straighten it across his midsection. He smiled, and Lucas smiled at his reflection.

“I’m getting this,” Zakk decided. He looked at Lucas over his shoulder. “Okay?”

“Yeah. As long as, um.”

“What?” Zakk crossed his arms over his chest.

“No, not - I mean, as long as you wear it sometimes, uh... after the wedding,” Lucas mumbled, his cheeks turning red with blush. He adjusted a little in his seat, too, just to be safe.

“Oh, you want me to wear it to bed?” Zakk asked in a low voice. “Is that what you want?” He walked forward until he was close enough to lean forward and set his hands on Lucas’ knees. Their faces were mere centimeters apart, but Lucas was busy staring at the ground.

Lucas flicked his eyes up to meet Zakk’s and nodded.

Zakk grinned. “Deal.” He kissed Lucas’ lips and straightened back up. “I want you to try one, too.”

Lucas was feeling a little dazed from the heavy dose of temptation, but that snapped him right out of it. “Whoa, Zakk, no-”

“Yeah! You don’t have to get it. I just want you to try it. What size do you want?”

“Aren’t those women’s?”

“Juniors.”

“I’m not gonna fit in Juniors clothes.”

But Zakk had that determined look in his eye. “Watch my stuff,” he ordered, and he flounced away from the dressing rooms and right out into the middle of Target, god help him. Lucas felt his anxiety spike, but he reminded himself that it was just a shirt. Hopefully people would leave him alone. It was just a shirt...

Zakk returned barely a minute later with no issues and two different styles in two sizes each. He tossed them all at Lucas and directed, “Put these on.”

Lucas made a face.

“I know, you big manly man. Go put on a damn crop top and tell me what you think.”

“Are you gonna make me show you?”

“Of course.” Zakk gave his chin a loving squeeze. “One little peek, and then you can take it right off if you hate it.”

But what if I don’t? Lucas wondered, not sure that he wanted to try the shirts on at all. Still, there was no arguing with Zakk, especially when he was like this, so Lucas obediently went into an empty dressing room, peeled off his striped tank top, and tugged on an XL crop top. He chuckled in spite of himself; the thin fabric was pulling around his shoulders before he even had the thing settled. He took it right back off. “It’s too small!” he called.

“Which one?”

“The one with the elephant.”

“I got you a 2X!” Zakk exclaimed in disbelief. “Did you try on that one or the extra large?”

“Um...” Lucas stalled. “Hang on.” He put the bigger size on, but it was just awkward and weird. He took it off again. “I’m trying the other one.”

“Can I see the elephant?”

“No.”

“Lucaaaas,” Zakk complained.

“Hang on. I’m seeing if the other one is better.” It wouldn’t be, and Lucas knew it. It was a few shades paler than bubblegum pink and had two big cherries on the front. The material was less clingy, at least, which was nice. Lucas only liked loose clothes (unless it was a costume, in which case tighter was nearly always better).

“Did you put the cherries on?”

“That’s what I’m doing right now.”

“Okay.” There was a beat, and then Zakk joked, “If you look cuter than me, I’m gonna be so mad.”

“I don’t think that’s physically possible,” Lucas muttered.

Zakk must have heard, because he let out a little giggle. “I love you, Lucas Hand.”

“Okay, shh, there are people here.”

Playfully, he said again, “I love you!”

“I love you, too,” Lucas said, his voice just loud enough that Zakk would be able to hear him.

“Am I embarrassing you?”

Silence.

“I am,” Zakk laughed fondly. “Aw, I’m sorry. I just love you, and I want you to know.”

Lucas was going to reply, but he looked in the mirror at himself and paused. Oh. He actually... didn’t look terrible. He reached behind himself and unlocked the door.

“Is that an invitation?” Zakk asked sensually.

“Come see before I change my mind.”

Zakk held the door open and looked at Lucas’ back and then into the mirror to see his front. “Holy fuck,” he muttered. He slipped into the dressing room and set his hands on the sides of Lucas’ bare waist. “You are a sculpture. Do you know that? Adonis.”

Lucas snorted. He placed a flat hand over his stomach, trying to cover it up. “I feel dumb.”

“You don’t look dumb.” Zakk kissed his shoulder, right above the collar of the shirt. “Would you wear it?”

“Never.”

Zakk sighed sadly. “I know.”

There was a moment of quiet, which Lucas spent looking at the reflection of Zakk admiring him. He smiled the littlest bit.

“If you’re not comfortable, we won’t get it.”

Lucas nodded. “Good.”

“But we could get it, and then maybe later, you might-”

“No.”

Zakk smiled and, still behind him, hugged him around the middle. “Alright. Well, thank you for humoring me. You look beautiful.”

Lucas chuckled. He gave Zakk’s arm a few pats. “Thanks. But you’re the b...” He swallowed his words.

“The...?” Zakk asked hopefully

“The beautiful one,” Lucas finished, the blush returning to his cheeks.

Zakk took Lucas’ face in his hands and kissed him.

A moment later, Lucas shrugged his striped tank top back on, suddenly feeling appreciative of the fact that it fully covered his stomach. It had been so weird being exposed like that, even just to Zakk and himself. But honestly, he was already looking forward to seeing Zakk again in that little crop top he was buying. It was really going to test Lucas’ self control, and he couldn’t wait.

#its funny putting them into situations that aren't at p&p or at their house. i almost never do anything but that.#lucas #zakk #sun and moon #eseidita5 #ask Aly

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writingforyourpleasure · 4 years

Text

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Characters: GERARD WAY x Reader

Link to chapter one : https://writingforyourpleasure.tumblr.com/post/190745024051/on-the-road-again

Author’s note: Enjoy !

2. “ 666 “

After they all introduce their self to you, they all went back to their conversation with Billy and Dex . You sat on the floor having nowhere else to sit .

You listened to their argument about which of Gotham villains was the best one, just when you finally wanted to take part into the conflict a loud bang on the door resounded and a voice, probably of the boys crew, maked itself heard calling the guy for make up and costumes. You were also told to hurry up on yours if you wanted to be on stage in 30 minutes. You actually started to stressed out at this point . You got your make up done and your stage clothes on in top record. Your make up was blue flames under your eyes made with your electric blue liner and red eyebrows with mate black lips. Your stage clothes was a XL Chaos T-shirt in vivid red completely destroyed in which you almost drowned because he was so large, your camo pants and rangers , easy and perfect for a lot of sweating. You took your drum sticks and headed to the stage.

A wave of screams maked itself heard at your arrival, fading as soon as you joined your kit and Dex his bass. You closed your eyes letting Dex start with their bass introduction to the first song soon matching them on their rhythm and the familiar passion eating you alive. No one existed , right now it was just like when you were sixteen. In your bedroom behind your drums and Dex facing you with his bass close to your bed , the door of your room open to let your parents listen to your music, they asked for it. And the most important public in the world , your dog Matcha. Yes, playing for an entire arena was just amazing, but right now you played for yourself , wanting to let yourself go . You always tried to give the best of yourself, you didn’t wanted to loose the magic of what this moment procured you.

Once you’re part was done , an interlude of 30 minutes took places .

“Dude you smell SO bad right now” You shoved your left elbow into his ribs for yelling it so loud to anyone who would listened .

“Shut your stupid mouth , you smell as bad as I do”

“Well Y/N I’ll loved to say you’re right … but you aren’t” This shitty Ames said coming up in front of you to leave for the scene to bring back in your truck your instruments . soon followed by Billy who shout you up a smile.

“I think you smell okay Y/N”

“Thank you , but no need for such big lies pretty boy” You winked at him , making pink appeared under his beard . You walked it off with a smug grin along with an amused chuckled .

Crossing paths with Ray , Gerard , Frank and Mikey along the way. Then you headed for your lodge to be the first one to shower as Dex stayed over to the scene to help Billy and Ames .

This was already three months ago. You were now on a break of one week , back to your parents house in the suburbia of Leeds, in the county of West Yorkshire in Northern England . Since you couldn’t afford the rent of your apartment in London, while not living in it for most part of the year, anymore. The positive point in all this was that you got to live with your dog Matcha the rare times where you weren’t on tour.

During those last three months a lot of things changed . You, Billy, Dex, Mikey, Frank, Gerard and Ray became friends pretty fast. Even through you gotta to admit the fact that Ray being a goddamn Greek god at the guitar, and also with his amazing hair, was a tiny bit intimidating. Ames and Max were friends with the guys too but less close to them than Billy, Dex and you were. Ames because he had a short temperament and had trouble trusting people he didn’t knew, and Max just because he was overwhelmed with work all the time, you seriously doubted he even took full nights of good sleep , a nap maybe but nothing more .

The shows were great too, the fans were shoving enthusiasm in your band and your music which was a good sign. Sometimes some of them even asked for autographs at the end of shows, you weren’t really used to it, but you guessed nobody ever was in the end. Ray was the closest you got to, he was very kind, smart and someone you just enjoyed spending time around, Frank, Mikey and Gerard too but a little less than Ray even if you would never say it out loud or you would never hear the end of it. You just were still a little bit intimidated by him where Ray seemed more approachable sometimes. Dex is pretty close to Mikey and Gerard from what you observed.

Dex, you and your new friends we’re often sharing the same bus , most of the time the one of the guys while Billy , max and Ames stayed on your sleep , unless for sleeping . But with the shows and the adrenaline that came with it, most of the time you didn’t made it to your bunks until early in the morning. The memory of it was all it took to put a small smile on your lips .

You were actually on the carpet floor of your bedroom playing guitar , just above a whisper coz’ your parents we’re asleep on the other side of the hallway . Matcha was watching you , her tongue out breathing loudly with a huge smile on her face, comfortably laying on her favorite xxl cushion by the side of your bed.

On your velux Window, the drops of rain created a gentle rhythm . It was 3 in the morning , you didn’t arrived to find sleep that easily at home since your bedtime on tour was much different. You’d came back two days ago, since then something seemed to be giving you anxiety . You couldn’t remember when you felt it for the first time . Was it on the plane home ? Before or after ? You didn’t know but you felt like something was wrong and couldn’t seem to shake the feeling.

You started to play some chords in a random order getting lost into your music . It remembered you those nights when Ray or Frank would mess around with their guitar while you were all talking to each other after a show. You always just stood there, staring more than participating in the conversation . You really admire the way they played and was listening quietly before someone would start talking to you as always. Sometimes , even if it was rarely , Gerard would play, in those moments you just stared completely bewitched by him. He didn’t play as well as Ray and Frank , but had his way around it. He looked so gentle each time he’d done it with an huge concentration, where Ray and Frank seemed more carefree. You stopped playing guitar lost in your thoughts, as you were remembering the scene.

His dark locks just falling before his eyes and you just sitting in front of him watching him more than the guitar. Then he locked his eyes with yours catching you staring like he did every time you looked at him playing . You didn’t know how every time he just felt your eyes on him and caught you before you could turn your gaze away, making you blush a little bit because you didn’t want to seem like a creep . But he would usually just have a smug smirk on his lips before sitting his guitar and joining the conversation with everyone. Just remembering it, made you blush .

When you woke up the next day with Matcha laying on your side as always . Today was no different than yesterday you still had this underlying anxiety on the back of your mind, you sigh . You really had hope it will go away today. You made a point to go out today, just to change that train of thoughts.

You usually just tried to avoid going out because here, people knew you , not from being in a band no, people knew you from high school and you knew them from it. So you didn’t had that much success with people finding you likeable here for some reasons. Well maybe it was coz’ back in high school you were full of cynicism and people had a hard time understanding your humor or lack of it . Being a nerd who played D&D on Sunday’s didn’t help either. Add the fact that you were one of the only people in your school who had crazy hair colors and who always talked back to shitheads .

But you kinda wanted to pay your friend Charlie a visit, it’s been a while since the two of you hang out . Charlie was one of your friends in high school who was in your D&D Sunday group, she is now on medical school, to be a doctor , which means you didn’t get a lot of news from her by text but tried to both do your best to keep each other updated on your lifes.

You got up unfortunately waking up Matcha along the way and made your way downstairs, soon followed by your golden retriever. Finding your box of cereals and making yourself a mug of coffee for breakfast. Before your mom entered the room already dressed , your dad worked from 8am to 6pm at the University of Leeds as a Philosophy teacher and your mom was working as an astronaut at the British Space Program and she was currently on break for several months before her next mission.

“Hello Y/N , you and I are going to the mall shopping for food in less than 15 minutes so go get dressed .

“Hi mom, can’t you go alone ? I’d planned on staying home this morning and going over to Charlie’s later .” You said pretty annoyed with your mother’s request.

“I could use the extra help , so got change yourself would you ?” She said before hurrying out of the kitchen not waiting for you to answer .

You finished your bowl of cereals and your coffee , quickly going upstairs to change.

You were waiting for your mom on your porch facing your street number. Younger the fact that you lived on the 666 of your street always made you laugh, it still does. You decided to take a quick picture of the number plate and put it on Instagram writing below it :”Never gets old” quickly pulling away your phone as you mom was locking up the front door and walked up to her car with you on her tracks.

Once inside your side of the Bentley on the left , while your mom was climbing on the driver seat on the right , your phone buzzed inside of your jeans . You pulled it out unlocking it , only to see the comment on your last post .

@Gerardway: “ seems perfect for a cult summoning!”

#gerard way imagine #gerard way x reader #gerard way fic #fanfict mcr #mcr imagine #mcr fic #mcr fanfiction #gerard way fanfic #gerard way fanfiction #frank iero imagine #frank iero x reader #mikey way imagine #mikey way x reader #my chemical romance fic #my chemical romance fanfict #my chemical romance imagine #my chemical romance fanfiction #ray toro imagine #ray toro x reader

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gumnut-logic · 5 years

Text

Determination II (Part Three)

My infected foot has me laying around the house and off work for the rest of the week. It also means I will not be working on Nutty Day, which is kinda yay. But anyway, there should be some time to write, just be aware that my muse is a little bit all over the place at the moment, so I apologise if it gets a bit random.

But I did manage this bit tonight :D I hope you enjoy.

Sequel to episode tag to 3.24. POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR 3.24

From here.

-o-o-o-

He found Gordon in the kitchen making a sandwich.

“What are you doing?”

His little brother half turned towards him as if surprised to see him. “Grabbing food. It is dinner time, you know.”

“You are supposed to be finalising Four.”

“I am. Cool it, bro. Everything is under control.” As if to emphasise, he tossed a slice of ham into his mouth and sucked it in like a vacuum cleaner.

Scott’s hackles rose just that extra millimetre. No doubt his experienced brother’s intentions.

He shook it off. “Where’s Virgil?”

“In his room digging up some engineering literature. Dragged him back to make sure he ate. He’s as bad as you at looking after himself.” His brother held out a completed sandwich. “Hungry?”

Scott stared at the food a moment as his stomach lurched in its direction. But no... “No, I’ll eat later. I have to finish Three’s integration first.”

Gordon shrugged and took back the sandwich. “Suit yourself. Just make sure you do eat something before you fall on your face. We are kinda depending on our mighty leader in all this.”

Scott grunted at him, frowning. Maybe Gordon was right. He was hungry and he was here. Might as well kill two birds with one stone and eat dinner. He had wanted to ask Virgil to check the welds on Three anyway before he proceeded to the next stage. Fifteen minutes now might save an hour later due to lack of energy.

“Okay, fine, hand me the bread and butter.”

Gordon grinned at him, laid out two extra pieces of bread and reached for the butter.

“Oh, no you don’t. You spread it too thick, you know I hate that.” He grabbed the butter knife out of his brother’s hand as the aquanaut smirked at him.

Several slices of ham and a handful of salad later and Scott sat down with his little brother and ate.

Okay, Gordon was definitely right. A fuelled body mean efficient operation. He stuffed most of the sandwich into his mouth before he realised something was missing...or rather who.

“Where’s Virgil?”

“Looking stuff up. I told you that.”

“But isn’t he going to eat something?”

“He’ll be down, don’t worry.” Gordon had mustard. Large dollops of mustard on his sandwich and several streaks on his face.

Scott raised an eyebrow. “You’re wearing your dinner again.”

“Shows I’m enjoying it.” And he was presented with another Gordon trademark grin.

“If that is your excuse.”

“Sounds good, so I’m sticking with it.” He then smeared relish across the tip of his nose leaving it red like Rudolph the reindeer.

“Relish and mustard on the one sandwich?”

A shrug. “I like it spicy.”

“Ergh.” Scott shoved the rest of his down his throat and finished up his drink. Jumping to his feet he placed his plate and glass in the dishwasher and washed his hands. He stared up the stairs a moment before turning back to Gordon. “You sure Virgil is coming down? What’s he looking up anyway?”

“You expect me to know? I speak marine ecology, not engineerese.”

“He’s not worried about the Zero-XL is he?”

“Uh, no?”

Scott frowned at Gordon. “What did he say?”

“Ummm...”

“Virgil has been living and breathing this ship since Brains gave the go ahead. We launch tomorrow. Why is he here and not over there helping Brains finish up?”

Another shrug. “Again, aquanaut not engineer.” Gordon strode over to the freezer and yanked out a small tub. “Here, I found John’s stash of Bailey’s Ice Cream hidden in the hangar freezer. Would you believe he had it lodged behind the reserve coolant?”

Scott took the tub of decadent ice confectionery, the change in topic stalling him for a moment. “You stole John’s ice cream?”

“Well, yeah, I have a reputation to maintain, after all. I don’t even like Baileys, but hey, I found it. Want some?”

“So you’ve got a death wish.”

“Eh, he has to catch me first.”

“He caught you last time. If I recall correctly, all your music playlists have been replaced by nursery rhymes.”

“Yeah, that was a good one. You shoulda seen Virg squirm with all the ear worms.”

“I did, see him. You are lucky he didn’t see you. Have you found your player yet?”

“Sure did. Virg just doesn’t have the true skill of good revenge.”

“I wouldn’t say that to his face.”

Gordon waved a dismissive hand. “Nah, Virgil is a big softy. He won’t hurt a fly, much less his itty-bitty little brother.”

Another arched eyebrow. “I’ll remember to put that on your gravestone on the day you go too far.” He waved the ice cream tub away. “Keep it. John’s wrath is a much larger concern. I want to be able to communicate with the outside world.” He turned to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to see Virgil. I need him to check some of my work when we get back to the XL.”

“Why don’t you go back to the platform. I’ll make Virgil some food, make sure he eats it and then return with him.”

“Why?”

“Umm, I came over with Virg and left my pod on the platform? I kinda need a lift.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. But hurry up, we have a time limit here.”

Gordon saluted sharply in a definite WASP style. “Yes, sir!”

“Move it, soldier.”

Gordon let his body slouch, hunchback style and with an exaggerated limp, made it over to the refrigerator. “Yessssh, Masssster.”

A grunt and Scott turned climbing the stairs two at a time, already running the next task through his head on the way to his pod. Eating had definitely been a good idea. He already felt much sharper. He should round up Alan, Kayo and Brains and make them take a break as well.

He was climbing into his pod when he remembered that one of the reasons why he wanted get Virgil to check his welds was because he had used the newer welding equipment. While it appeared to be welding fine, he meant to double check his settings with the engineer who was far more familiar with the equipment and he had been unavailable earlier..

He hit his comms. “Virg? You got a minute?”

No answer.

“Virg, you there?”

Nothing.

Okay, that was weird. He raised his hand to comm John, but remembered that his space brother was busy preparing Five for the XL. Which was likely why he had been so distracted when Scott contacted him earlier.

Scott mentally kicked himself. This project was so overwhelmingly important to him that sometimes he forgot how important it was to his brothers as well.

A sudden image of Virgil looking up at him kindly, but with just that ghost of worry in his eyes. It was a familiar sight in so many settings. His brother had been hovering around him for weeks now, reassuring, watching, supporting...

Aaargh. He jumped down from the pod and headed back into the villa. Gordon was nowhere to be seen. Probably took dinner up to Virgil, who was likely hip deep in a search for whatever it was he was looking for.

Scott ignored the elevator and bounded up the stairs to the residential level and into the corridor leading to Virgil’s rooms.

Virgil’s door was the most ornate of all those in the hallway. His brother had travelled to Japan for one of his periods of leave about four years ago and had come back so artistically inspired, he had churned out a dozen of so paintings and one intricately carved door.

The green dragon stared at him challengingly despite being slightly ajar.

There were voices beyond it.

Gordon’s voice.

Virgil’s voice.

“What the hell are you doing? Get back to bed.”

“I need to get back out there. Scott is going to find out.”

“He’s fine. He’s on his way back. Doesn’t have a clue.”

A lump formed in Scott’s chest and climbed up his throat. What the hell?

“Gordon, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but I have to do this. This is for Dad - ah, ow, shit!”

“And this is for you! Now does that prove it to you enough yet? Get your ass back into bed before I haul Johnny down here and we drag you there.”

There was the sound of heavy breathing and a grunt.

And Scott broke.

Heart beating a mile a minute, he shoved the door open.

-o-o-o-

TBC

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #virgil tracy #thunderbirds fanfiction #scott tracy #gordon tracy

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parentingtheoryandpractice · 6 years

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Assorted Parenting Updates from a while back

I found this post in my drafts folder and I figured it was worth posting, even though it’s now more than six months out of date.

It's been a while since I wrote any updates about my kids, so I figured I'd try to record some stuff for posterity. The one caveat is that everything is great and I wouldn’t tell you if it wasn’t.

A while back, when I felt like I was staring down a lot of years of parenting, I started asking my friends when things got easier. I mostly got two answers: when your youngest turns 3, and when your youngest turns 5. So now, when I have a 5.5yo and an almost 3yo seems like a particularly appropriate time to reflect.

It really is sort of shocking to me how mature Lydia is. I don’t mean that I think she’s especially mature for her age–more that 5 seems like a shockingly mature age compared to what came before. From the time she was a baby, we did a ton of talking about stuff and explaining stuff, and all that. But at this age she really gets it. Explaining things works. If she doesn’t want to do something, she’s often happy to tell me why, and she’s decent at introspecting, especially if we talk her through it. She seems to accept that there are some things that I will make her do (though I try to keep that to a minimum), and she’ll ask whether I’m forcing her to do something or not. And often she’ll be up for doing it even if I’m not forcing her, even if she doesn’t want to do it, just because I really want her to do it. She recently informed me that she can open all of our child locks, and I was basically just happy about that development.

By my standards, she’s pretty polite :-).

She’s pretty motivated to observe family rules, and she’s also very much tracking that other families have different rules, particularly around toys and sharing. (In our house, lots of the toys belong to one kid or the other, and a minority of the toys are communal.)

She also sometimes tells me when she thinks I haven’t been being fair to her or paying enough attention to her, which always feels comforting. Though I suppose I never know for sure what she isn’t telling me.

It’s definitely a bad bet to assume she isn’t paying attention to stuff that people around her are saying.

Her favorite food is pasta with parmesan cheese.

She loves LOL dolls.

She’s been super into singing, and wants me to help her get all the notes perfect. Her favorite songs are Rose Red, Hey Ho Nobody’s Home, and Ah Poor Bird. Other favorites include Once Upon a December, A Million Dreams, and Let it Go.

She builds a lot with Legos and Duplos, and lately she seems to have more of a plan. Like she’ll specifically round up a bunch of a type of piece she knows she’s going to need.

Socializing is clearly important to her, but she seems to get burned out by it too sometimes. And lately she can actually meaningfully spend a lot of time doing pretend play with Zeke, so there’s that too. She has a lot of strategies for getting him to do what she wants when they play. Playing with our nanny is also one of her top things to do.

She started getting carsick lately :-(, whereas she really didn’t before, which is too bad. A lot of the time it doesn’t happen though, and she is fairly self-aware about her triggers.

She has stuff she likes playing on the iPad, and some Wii and PS4 games she likes, but hasn’t ever really gotten into video games or computer games. She loves playing The Sims on my computer with me, perhaps partly because it’s a bit of scarce activity.

For years now she’s had a pretty steady interest in arithmetic. It’s pretty common for her to spontaneously ask about addition, subtraction, and sometimes a little multiplication. We talk about infinity sometimes.

She’ll ask to practice reading with me and Will, but my sense is that her motivation there is largely about connecting with us. I don’t think it feels real to her that she could actually learn to read.

She loves our dogs, and wants more animals. She periodically mentions wanting a smaller dog and a cat.

She’s definitely still a night owl. Our nanny starts at 9 a few mornings a week, and she’s asked me to wake her up for that, since she doesn’t want to miss out. Otherwise, she’ll wake up anywhere from around 8:30-10:30, and she often goes to sleep around 11:30, though sometimes it’s much earlier if she had a jam-packed day, or if she slept less than usual the night before.

I can definitely imagine what would feel easier about having my youngest child be 5.

Zeke isn’t quite as into trucks and construction as he used to be, but he likes it a lot. He largely likes watching videos about construction, making slime, playing with kinetic sand, making food, factories, and that sort of thing. Overall, I find his taste in videos pretty soothing.

He like digging outside.

He has some interest in just about everything Lydia is interested in, and he really likes it when he gets to play with her and her friends.

He likes to play with words a lot, and repeat rhyming and similar sounding words for fun.

For a long time now, he’s been very good at getting his point across to people, though he’s still definitely at the age where strangers sometimes can’t fully follow his toddler accent.

He’s gotten pretty good at doing pretend play on his own, in addition to liking it with other people, and sometimes Lydia and I get kick out of listening to him babble to himself when he’s playing in the upstairs area by himself.

When playing with Lydia, he’s fairly inclined to grab her things, and still sometimes knocks over her creations or gets in her space. It seems normal to me for an almost 3yo, though of course we do our best to stop him. it also seems more deliberate than it used to, in an almost-3-yo-way instead of in a 2-yo way.

He likes playing with the dogs sometimes, but sometimes doesn’t want them around, and sometimes pokes them sits on them. Again, I do my best to stop him, but the dogs are also fairly skilled at taking care of themselves without hurting the kids, which makes my life easier. He throws balls for Krypto a lot.

Similarly, he’s quite cuddly with me, but there’s often kicking, climbing, and stuff like that mixed in.

He still gets carsick, though I think less than he used to. This month he’s pretty willing to get in cars to go places he wants, but there have been long stretches of time where he wanted nothing to do with cars.

I basically don’t have to remind him to go to the bathroom anymore, and I believe him if he says he doesn’t have to go. The very high degree of reliability without any reminders is fairly recent though. And I do make a point of getting him to pee before bed, since otherwise he’ll sometimes have an accident at night. Mostly he’s been dry at night for years.

He’s still nursing, but he’s pretty accepting when I turn him down, and we don’t do it all that many times a day at this point.

I don’t wear him that much anymore, though sometimes I think it would be better if I did, since I think puts him in a good state. As with Lydia, our wearing wound down a lot around 2, with wearing him while out and about being the last one thing to fade away. He’s around 31 pounds, and I’m out of the habit, so it doesn’t feel easy to have him up for long, even though I am an experienced enough wrapper that it’s pretty ergonomic.

Everyone is still sleeping in the family bed, which is a queen plus twin xl. We have no plans to change that system, since it’s working well for us.

Zeke is also basically a night owl, just a little less so than everyone else in the family. He usually gets up between 8 and 9. I try not to let him nap, but even if he has a maximally late-night-inducing nap (like sleeping from 7-8pm) he’s typically not up later than 1am. Which may seem late, but with Lydia thing could get considerably later when she took a late nap at this age. He’s always had a comparatively robust circadian rhythm, for which we are grateful.

I get what’s easier about having a youngest kid that’s almost 3. He’s not in a particularly cooperative stage, but it’s not intensely physical and hands-on all the time the way it used to be. And when I reflect on how much I do trust him, it’s actually a lot. We were camping for a wedding the other week and I asked him to leave an axe alone. Someone there made a point of showing him the axe and how it wasn’t actually that sharp, which I appreciated, and also expressed skepticism that he would really leave it alone because I told him to. But I didn’t have any real doubt that he would leave it alone. Almost always, when he goes into the kitchen, he closes the baby gate after him both on the way in and on the way out. (The baby gates are so the dogs don’t eat food I sometimes leave on the counter. He’s been able to open and close them for a long time.) I basically trust him to run in front of me on the sidewalk, because he’s been reliable for a long time about not going into the street.

The dogs are doing well. I still spend kind of a lot of time training them, more some days than others. They spend more time outside in the yard than I’d ideally want, mostly to reduce total chaos, but they don’t seem to mind. And I feel better about that situation now that they have each other. Krypto is obviously temperamentally less anxious, but Argos is also obviously better trained. I still don’t have as high a degree of reliability with them around distractions as I would like, but I think we’ll get there eventually.

On my end, maybe the biggest change is that the more years I’ve been doing this, the less I question my overall approach. And when I read articles or books about parenting, I tend to be much more skeptical of what people are trying to sell me. That part feels good! I still think there’s plenty of room for me to get better at things, and I try to, but I also think I’ve come up against a lot of actual constraints, and there isn’t all that much low-hanging fruit anymore.

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kikkieabby · 6 years

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Bakugou and Fem Izuku in: Secret lover’s! Chapter 1- I love you!

Kikkie: Hi! A fanfic series for my hero academia! Because, why not, I thought this couple was cute. Plus, with only seeing a little too few clips, I can deeply say that Bakugou...is going to be fun to write.

So, thank you for taking time out of your life to read this

Summary: Izuku and Bakugou are dating, but in secret. Why, because Bakugou said so, and also another reason that I will think up soon. Enjoy!

“Where the fuck are you going Deku?” I asked the little bitch wearing that fucking mini skirt like she had legs to show off. I don’t know why, but she’s starting to look fat to me, and not in the way you think. “Hm? Oh, this?” She asked me before grabbing the side of her skirt. Lifting it up a bit, probably giving all the perverts behind her a show! I bet she’s wearing a thong too, fucking cunt! “Toru and Ochaco helped me get this. Apparently, I grew out of my uniform, as what Mina had told me. So we got a new one, turns out this is the only XL they had. Go figures!” Izuku tells me, in all honesty, she was right. And I know she was wearing a large because I have seen fat bitches wearing what she is wearing. The skirts are supposed to go around her bellybutton, which it did. Only to stop a few inches below her thighs, showing off her legs. And those fucking black thigh highs didn’t help in the least. And then the vest, sure it fitted her, but it didn’t make her large rack invisible like most of the girls here. My god, those things grew during the summer! Same goes for her ass! I can’t tell if that’s fat or muscle! “Well, it makes you look fat! Get rid of it!” I growled at her. As the Deku she is, her cheeks turn red before looking down at her uniform. I am guessing she felt a bit of shame because she presses her hand to her stomach before taking a seat. The next second later, those bubbling idiot friends of hers came running into the room. Squalling a shit, sounding like a dead horse trying to escape death. God, hurts my fucking ears! “I see someone’s annoyed.” Oh great, Eijiro here’s… “Very,” I responded. Maybe if I try hard enough to be mad he will go away. “I see the fangirls group is here. But why are they counseling Izuku? Did you say something to her?” “I told her that her new uniform makes her look fat.” “Dude!? No!” Eijiro nearly screamed. “That ass! Why would you tell her to cover up that ass! Dude, she’s like the hottest girl in the whole school!” “Your joking?” I asked in a calm manner. In reality, I was trying my best not to blow his fucking face off. How dare he say that to me about Izuku! Of course, I know she’s hot! Fucking looking at her! Tall, long pretty green hair, freckles that shine brighter than my explosions, and birthing hips! Fucking birthing hip just waiting to produce MY KIDS! That’s right, that fucking bitch shouldn’t be getting any other guys attention but me! The only guy who gets to check that ass out is me! Oh goddammit, now I have a boner!! “Class has started!” Ugh, the black-haired fuck shouted as he enters the class. As if today can’t get any worse! Okay, don’t think about Izuku! What’s that smell? Banana? Strawberry? Like Izuku perfume. Ugh…don’t…don’t think about…

“PRINCE!” What? My prince charming!” Izuku, that frizzy dress she always wore when we played. It was flowey but always wrinkled. It pissed me off, but what pissed me off more was that fucking Taira she wore. “My prince charming! My hero!” Izuku shouted. Waving her little wand in the air and shouting out weird sounds. She and I stood in the middle of the forest where we would play prince and princess. She sometimes would climb up a tree and pretend to be kidnapped and I would go save her. Today, was different. “Ugh, I hate this game! It's so boring!” I growled at her as I helped her down the tree. Once on the ground, she wipes pats the dust off her before saying: “Then why don’t I rescue you!” “Rescue me?” I asked. I don’t remember why, but that was the first time I started to feel anger towards her. “Yea, you know! Like how you rescue me since we will both be hero’s one day, we should train on saving each other.” “Are you calling me weak!?” “No, I-SHUT UP!” I shouted at her. Cutting her off mid-sentence so that shut that mouth of hers. “You’re the damsel in our relationship! Not the hero! You will never save me in any situation! You will never become a hero!” I shouted at her. Tears forming in her big eyes as her body trembles. She clasps her hands together and held them over her chest. She looked like she was trying not to cry, but she was failing. “But…I want to be a hero. Like…like…” “Oh, that stupid hero Toshinori Yagi!! Forget about him and stay a princess! Your weak, you won’t be able to fight!” I shouted. The next thing I remembered was grabbing that tiara she wears and breaking it. Making her run home crying to her mom. A second later her mom told my mom, which led to a beating of a lifetime, but hey, the bitch doesn’t hit hard.

“Bakugou.” “Bakugou?” “Bakugou!” Goddamit! Why the hell is Deku yelling in my ear!? Wait…why is it dark? Where is everybody? The fuck is going on here?! “Bakugou! You're awake!” Izuku with a smile on her face. Why the hell is she smiling, the world gone fucking black! “What the fuck?” I growled. “Oh, a villain attacked the school while you were sleeping. He set off this sleeping gas that knocked half the school out. Luckily, Shoto was able to keep the smoke from affecting all of us. Then our might hero principle swooped in and fought the bad guy! It was awesome!” “What are you saying?” “You and a bunch of other classmates have been sleeping the entire day. But don’t worry, you guys are in perfect condition.” “You let me sleep the entire fucking fight!?” “Well, I was sort of busy getting students out of the building while helping Shoto fight the villain's goons. Oh my gosh, Mina went behind one of them and kicked him in the balls.” “I WILL KICK YOU IN THE BALLS!!” I shouted at her…then it hits me. She doesn’t have any balls. “Why are you so mad?” Because you left me here to fight! Are you kidding me!? Fucking Deku, you could have gotten killed you, stupid bitch!” “Calm down.” “I AM NOT GOING TO FUCKING CALM DOWN! WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCKING DEKU!? YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT THAT CAN’T TAKE A GODDAM HINT! I FUCKING-SHUT UP!!! She shouted at me. Slamming her fists down onto my desk, a bright light of green electric engulfs the plastic wood before destroying. Her hands slump over her knees as her green locks fall down past her shoulders. Her body trembles as the room begin to fill with sniffling sounds. But ignoring that, did this bitch just destroy my desk? “Why…” She whimpers. Was this bitch actually crying? “What?” I growled. “Why do you hate me so much?” She cries before turning her head to the side to look at me. Tears and snot staining her face, she looked like a weeping angel with the moonlight shining onto her wetness. Wetness…see this is why I fucking hate fanfic writers! Ugh, crying stupid…ugh! Standing up quickly, I reached over to her shoulder then shook her a bit. If I exploded even a little, I would have hurt her, and I didn’t want that. Crying, she looks up to me with diamonds shining tears in her eyes. I haven’t seen her cry like this since…well, you know. “Tch, Deku,” I growled. God, why was she hot. “I don’t hate you. You annoy me, but I don’t hate you.” “Then why do you treat me so mean?” “I treat you mean because of the way you look.” “What?” “Not that way!” I growled. How do I say this without looking like a sexist pig? “Look, I…lov… I loo…I lovvvv….dammit!” Dammit! I feel like a fucking dumbass doing this shit! Why can’t I say it! It's just three stupid words! “I love you.” She tells me. I think my heart stopped for a moment there, it never happened before. Well, not like this, it happened before but for other reasons. “You…what?” I asked. “I love you! I have always loved you! Ever since we were kids, I have always loved you!” She started. Oh, you cannot be serious! “But then you got your powers (or Quirk, whatever!) and started to be mean. Then when we came here, you got even meaner…” “Yea…” Was all I could say at this point. She wasn’t wrong, I was an ass. I won’t lie, my anger can get the best of me and make me a crappy person. Will I ever change? Possibly! Will it be soon? Don’t bet on it. “All the girls started to talk to you. Flashing at you, getting the hots for you. So many pretty girls, I felt that I couldn’t compete against them.” She tells me. “But then we were put in the same class! Which made me so happy that I felt my heart nearly burst! I felt like I was given a second chance, so I studied hard. I worked out a lot with my sensei’s and friends, and I even gain the courage to stay here when everyone left.” “Wait, what?” What did she mean by that? “Oh, um, were the only ones here.” She says. “Everyone was scared of you, no one wanted to wake you up or even wait for you to wake up. So, everyone left.” “Why did you stay?” “Because I love you. And even though you mean sometimes, I know deep down in your heart, you love me too.” She tells me before getting on her tippy toes. The scent of strawberry fills my nose. Was the villain back already!? No, it was her! It was her perfume! And…

She’s kissing me! Holly shit, she’s kissing me! My heavenly father fuck! Her lips feel so good, god-dam! How are these virgin lips!? I feel them sticking to mine like glue or honey. Quickly, I hoist my hand up to the back of her head, holding it before getting down to work. With my other limp, I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close to me. I lean forward towards her a bit more, applying pressure onto her lips with my tongue. A soft moan escapes her lips. A tiny opening which allowed my tongue to seep into that warm moist mouth of hers. Her tiny tongue tries to escape mine, but like a snake about to attack its prey, I wrapped my tongue hers. Pulling it, feeling it, tasting it. It tries to escape but fails, only to give into the pleasure before indulging herself. When our lips separated, our tongues stayed together. Rubbing and tasting each other with no regret. Sadly, her toes got tired, forcing her to move downwards and lean against my chest. Both of us breathing deeply, trying to regain ourselves. As she lays against my chest, I couldn’t help but squeeze that big lump of meat in my hand. Looking down a bit, without realizing, I saw my hand was over her butt. “You got a big ass, when did this happen?” I asked my green haired princess. I could feel her blushing ear to ear even with a shirt on. “Mina…and I have been doing…a lot of workouts.” She moaned. Ugh, I think I have to take back what I said about Mina now. Because if she’s the reason Izuku has this, then by god I will buy her lunch for a year. “Has anyone ever touched you like this?” I asked. “Once…” She tells me. “Who?” I growled I wanted to take note so that I remember who to kill. “A stranger on the bus. He grabbed my butt once. But Shoto was there to help me by recording him, so I was fine in the end.” She…WHAT!? A pervert grabbed her and Shoto rescued my woman!? Yes, my fucking woman! I don’t give a fuck if I am a bigot at this point, this bitch is mine! Mine to hold, love and even breed! So fuck you, readers! “Tch! You're not going on the bus anymore, you got me!” “But, how will I get home?” “I will take you home!” I growled. “So stop asking questions and just smile for me!” “Uh…okay!”

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aquarianlights · 7 years

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I'm preaching to the choir here, but I'm gonna say it anyways.

Pants sizes. Jesus fucking christ.

I'm a transman, but I have not started HRT yet as my doctor doesn't think it is medically and psychologically safe for me (yet). That doesn't mean I don't wear men's clothing. However...the one thing I do wear a mixture of is female and male pants.

To get you guys in perspective, in guys pants. I'm a 28/30. And that's only because I can never find anything lower than 28. 28 is about maybe 2ish sizes too big for me. And 30 is too long. So really I'd be more of a 26/28. . .but that really doesn't happen. Hence why I usually shop in the little boys section. 28 is even almost impossible to find.

Yesterday I was in the mall doing some much needed pants shopping (I've had two pairs for about 2 years so I was finally able to get new ones). I, ofc, tried on an assortment of men's and women's pants.

Guess fucking what?

All the stores I go to are average. Not large, not small. I'm above average in size, probably bigger than most actually, but not enough to shop in the plus size section. But my number in boys jeans fit me that way, as stated above. Which is so nice because THEY’RE ALL THE FUCKING SAME... then I get to women's pants.......

One store, I'm a size 6. Another store, I'm a size 14. I can't even tell you all the number differences between that. And it just frustrates the hell out of me (and I'm sure everyone else). As someone who has struggled with anorexia since early childhood, fitting into a size 14 and being so comfortable in them that I just had to get them almost made me have a breakdown. I'm glad I got them coz they're comfortable af but. I've never been in the double digits until I started on antipsychotics. And even then, the highest I ever went was a size 10.

And I just don't understand..... I have a woman's hourglass figure. I have hips. Ridiculous hips. I hate them with a passion because it means I can never button the very last button on men's fitted shirts (like dress shirts) because they're made for people without hips. Obvs, HRT is gonna help with that but it could very well be a while with my current medical situation. I still have two weeks to wait on my arthritis and general rheumatoid blood work and I'm gonna have to get another draw for lupus very soon. And financially? Hrt is not a reality right now.

So what even.

And I'm trying to get a vest to go over a dress suit for suave business casual and what happens? All the fucking men's vests are ridiculously huge in the shoulder area and super wide in the chest area. Everything fits perfectly......except I'd have to get a seamstress to cinch the shoulders by maybe 3 inches and tighten the chest area by a few inches, too. I'm thoroughly frustrated and honestly a little distraught at sizing issues.

I fit an XL shirt in the little boys section, sometimes just an L. I go in to find fitted shirts and a vest in the men's section and I end up in a SM size. I have rarely been able to fit anything above an XSM in men's clothing. Normally I'm an XXSM in men's but that's hard to find. And women's shirts? I'm a medium (as long as I'm in the petite juniors section). Sometimes I have to up it to L, but there are some occasions where a SM is perfect (AGAIN, WHAT THE FUCK).

I don't understand why we can't have universal MEASURED sizes.....like on men's jeans. It makes so much sense and makes everything so much easier. Why the actual fuck do we bother with all this other bullshit? ESPECIALLY in women's clothing. I feel so badly for girls, especially those suffering from EDs, who have to shop and go through what I do every time I shop for clothing. It's a little easier for me coz I shop mostly in the men’s department...but I remember when I was forced to be closeted and had to buy in the women's section and every goddamn shopping trip ended with me in a panic attack by the time I got to the car.

And I just wanted to put it out there.......you guys and gals and whomever inbetween..... your size does not define you. I have horrible anorexia that I am trying so hard to overcome and this sizing bullshit, especially in women's clothing, has fucked me up even worse than when I was a child. When I was in elementary school, I used to eat paper instead of food because I thought you had to eat "something" to exist but I thought eating food would make me fat since my parents were always poking at my tummy and reminding me over and over again that "you can't have that. You'll get fat." or "Are you really going to eat that? You just ate a whole bowl of macaroni yesterday. Why don't you wait until tomorrow." And that's not even including any societal pressures we ALL face.

I'm about 130lbs right now at 5'2". To put that in perspective for sizing.

To everyone who struggles with this..... I feel you. I'm there with you. I don't think I will ever stop being there. You are not alone. Sizing in America is fucked. Idk about other countries, but America is fucked in general so ofc sizing is FUCKED. But you know what?

You are fucking beautiful no matter what you wear. You are a goddess. A god. Whichever you're feeling. Or something inbetween. You are beautiful, you are loved, you are incredible and strong and courageous and you have the power to fucking destroy this pain that eats away at you telling you not to have that coffee from Starbucks this morning because of the calories and sugar content and whatever else.

Finding out I most likely have lupus or have some sort of major liver damage has made me think "You know what? Fuck this. Fuck all of this. Fuck America. Fuck sizing. Fuck trying to stave off all the sodium and calories and fat content and everything else on that label. Fuck reading every content label and scanning it with apps that promote ana and mia. Fuck that." This is coming from a boy who used to have his own pro-ana blog, btw.

No. Don't fucking go there. Don't let this world and its sizing destroy you. Don't fucking let it. Don't. I'm crying as I'm typing this because I'm saying this as much to myself as I am to everyone else who needs to hear it.

You CAN go out of your house in the morning. You're not “too fat” to leave your apartment. You're not “too fat” to stay locked in your room all day because you feel you're too big to be seen in public. When I don't leave the house, that's the exact reason why. I cannot even TELL YOU how many opportunities in my life I have let slip by me because of that train of thought. "You're too fat and ugly to leave the house today. You need to lock yourself in your room and never be seen again." Don't. Fucking don't. Get out there. Wear what you want. Wear what makes you happy....what makes you comfortable... idc what size you are. Fat is not a bad word. It's not. And the media and society wants you to see it as such and internalize that and kill yourself over it.

Don't. Let. It. Win. Keep fucking fighting.

If you're not comfortable with your body, by all means, take steps to change it if it is medically and chemically possible. But don't risk your life over a number. Or many numbers. Fuck the scale. Fuck sizes. Fuck your self hatred because you're beautiful and I know you may not see that... but you are. Everyone is beautiful in so many different ways.

The quote I like to reference the most is something like: “Just because you don't find yourself attractive doesn't mean other people don't. You just may not be your own type.”

Those people staring at you? They’re admiring something on you. Most people don’t have the courage to just walk up to someone and tell them they’re staring at them because of this or that. Luckily, I don’t have anxiety issues so I can just go right up to people and be like “Yo, I’m so sorry if you saw me staring at you, but your hair is legit just mesmerizing. Like. I’m really sorry I was staring. It’s just so gorgeous. What dye did you use?” Most people can’t do that and I know. I’ve never dealt with anxiety myself, but I do deal with panic attacks and I cannot function at all if I’m having an internal or external panic attack (my attacks are purely physical, hence Panic Disorder and not any sort of anxiety spectrum). So I mean, I get it to an extent. But just know... most people don’t do what I do. They silently stare at you and try not to catch your eye because they’re ADMIRING SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. Ngl, not 100% of the time. . .but I’d say a good 98% of the time, that’s the case.

So you go out there. . .you be you. . .and you be fierce. Because you’re awesome, you’re gorgeous, and I believe in you. So many others do, too.

((I needed to write this for myself, but I guess I wanted to make it public for anyone else struggling. So. . .here. Coz I mean it.))

#personal #anorexia #ana #mia #bulimia #ed #eating disorder #sizing #size #clothing sizes #rant #confidence #note to self #ref for myself #to killian love killian #love yourself

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secondhand-sheep-shack · 7 years

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Mini rant time. Post came up on my dash about a self proclaimed fat person struggling with fitting into plus size clothes that weren’t sized right for them. YES, a healthier weight would help. But while you get from unhealthy to healthy you still need clothes. And it’s frustrating as fuck when you’re fat (or on the road to healthier weight) and you’re trying to buy clothes and NOTHING FITS. Or worse you can have 10 things in your cart sized 10 different ways and nothing fits. Or they all fit. Or some of them do but most don’t or...you get the idea. So I’m down almost 100# from where I started 2 years ago. Oddly I’m mostly still in the same ‘plus size’ clothes - because sizing isn’t even remotely consistent anymore. Not for women’s clothes anyway. You have: Plus size, women’s, misses, juniors and petites and sometimes other shit thrown in the middle for added variety. So I got the pleasure of going clothing shopping on Sunday. Winter clothes to be precise. A gift from my boyfriend who wanted me to be warm this winter at work. I wanted sweaters - warm, fluffy...yeah no happening. Not for my size. Juniors yes, misses yes. Plus size gave me 80+ options for granny cardigans in thin weaves and ugly colors. Finally I find 10 items I want. Go in to try them on. Look at sizing: Ladies - generic term in this case to differentiate between men’s which isn’t as form-fitting. Plus size - which simply means women who aren’t a size 10 or smaller. Misses - (i serously wondered here but it was in the plus size section and labeled a 3x) And two things listed as OSFM - one size fits “Most” whatever the fuck most is. Sweaters - found 4 different options that weren’t skimpy and hideous. They were sized: Plus size XL, 2XL, 3XL and...5XL. I”m currently 180#. Guess which ones were too tight? 3XL and 5XL both plus size were smaller size wize than the XL - listed as ladies XL and the Plus size 2XL - similar style just different mfg. So I put the 3x and 5x on the back on the rack. Get 2 of the XL thing in different colors because it was warmer than the crap I put back. Pants - XL - no designation ladies or mens. Looking at them there was zero way I was getting my fat ass into those...holy crap my ass looks fabulous and they’re not cutting off circulation. Same thing with another pair of pants by a different company - Plus size Women’s 4xl - way too tight to even get buttoned. The second pair was designed almost the same as the first - but was a different color, different mfg. Got the smaller one that fit. activewear - all of it described as misses petite. “No way am i...this fits and I can breathe.” One odd piece of activewear size 24/26 - I grabbed it because it was on clearance and i liked it. Fit close to the body like the misses petite in another style by another company. Buying men’s boots - women’s had no support in the ankle and the sizing was way off - buy similar pair for men - better ankle support, sizing was true to size and I only went down one size from what I wear in women’s normally. Had to go up 4 sizes in women’s to find something that fit. Buying gloves: women’s small/medium - I have tiny hands but thicker wrists from doing chainmaille. My forearms are dense and I hate compression around the wrist. Men’s small is so ginormous I could get both hands into one glove. Women’s small/medium I can’t get it over my hand. Women’s large I can’t get my fingers even half way in. There’s no happy medium in the lower priced gloves. Isotoner women’s fit - so did the men’s but I liked the women’s version better. Do you see why it’s hard for someone who MIGHT be even remotely thinking about losing weight to hate going shopping for clothes? Because while we need to be covered - finding things that are consistently sized and designed for bodies with curves, there’s a very frustrating aspect to shopping when you’re not a stick with boobs. Not saying there’s anything wrong with being a stick with boobs but the rest of us have a struggle on our hands to find things that FIT and when an hour shopping trip turns into 3-4 hours because everything’s made up and the sizing doesn’t matter because no one pays attention...yeah it’s frustrating and if you’re doing it in winter and already wearing layers yeah it’s going to be fun doing the mexican hat dance or backstage costume changes for a play in a phone booth sized cell without stagehands to help you in and out of each outfit. Losing weight and getting healthier are great. But for fuck’s sake let’s please go back to universal sizing standards instead of whatever the fuck it is we’re using now. Please? This shit is why I’d rather hand sew an entire outfit over a week than go clothing shopping. Because it’s depressing to find something you really love in a size that should MORE THAN fit your body size/type and finding out it’s smaller than something marked the equivalent of 7 sizes smaller than you normally wear, only to be unable to get it on, get it zipped or any number of other issues and get disappointed throwing 8 of 10 items back on the shelf because there’s zero consistency to sizing anymore.

I’m not tagging this body positivity because I dont’ want to hear shit complaints. Yep. I’m fat. Still am. Still will be for a while. Yep I let myself get there. Yep I’m working on undoing it. Yep it’s probably going to take the rest of my life to get there and maintain it. I’m still trying. And the fact is, I’m trying for myself and no one else. While I have a boyfriend who loves me, I’m doing this for me. So I can love myself too. Still, yep I’m a fat chick. I’m okay with this. I’m less than I was 2 years ago and more than I was last year. All most of us want is some consitency in sizing so we’re not nearly as mentally drained trying to clothe ourselves shopping locally. There should be marked differences between kids clothes, adult smalls and adult larger sizes. Finding Adult Large and Adult 5xl to be polar opposite of expectations...that’s annoying as fuck.

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iamdanielyoon · 7 years

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Blade Runner 2049 Review

***/*****

B-

80%

9:30pm

2D Digital

10/17/17

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Notes:

Mostly empty theater but there were possibly 15 people in the 160 seat theater.

Got seats in row C, seats 11 and 12. Smack dab in the middle and a place where the screen was close enough to fill most of my field of vision.

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Audiences, and critics, called the original Blade Runner an esoteric film. Never before has a film been characterized so aptly. Wes Anderson is niche. David Fincher is focused. Steven Spielberg is talented. J.J. Abrams is new cinema. I hate to be so condensed in my perspective of them, but I’ll chalk it up to the short attention spans present in the online world. I hope I got my point across, though. All of these attributes I attributed to each of these accomplished directors can be seen as positive or negative. I, personally, am a fan of all of the directors I mentioned. I haven’t loved all of their works, or even seen all of their works, to be honest, but I do acknowledge their ability in crafting stories (although I have finished viewing the filmographies of J.J. Abrams and David Fincher). Their narratives have a distinct flair and I respect the craft they bring to the industry.

The connotation attached to the term ‘esoteric,’ however, was that the film was meant for those who liked noir & sci-fi stories. The film is not like Looper (2012) or Star Trek (2009), far from it. So don’t expect anything like that sort of thing going into it. The film is, at its core, a detective story. In terms of mature film, the Coen brothers can be comparable in terms of pacing, I suppose. But where the Coens have fascinating dialogue and well-executed editing, Blade Runner (1982) was more of a plodding crime story. It meanders and it doesn’t pander. It is for a specific set of people yet the film has been a major influence in the sci-fi genre, in all mediums. In this rare instance, the scathing, often empty, certain critiques of CinemaSins on the film were accurate. The fantastical visual imagery of its time nonetheless does not make a sufficient story, a well-told narrative or a propelling plot. Critics and audiences complain about that in cinema to this day and yet they gladly overlook those faults in this film.

So let’s get my thoughts on the original Blade Runner out of the way. I watched The Final Cut (2007): the one recommended by Blade Runner 2049’s director Denis Villeneuve. Like films of the past that had dark, gritty, grimy, seedy sci-fi worlds, Blade Runner had great production design. Ridley Scott is a flawed director, one who has had his fair share of duds and head-scratchers, but one thing you cannot deny is the man’s attention for detail and his extensive use of practical effects. The props used in The Martian (2015) were gorgeous. Blade Runner is no different. To cut my thoughts on the original short, here are my thoughts in a nutshell: Overrated; interesting sound design; weird parts; strange change in atmosphere/tone in final act (something I believe CinemaSins touched on) and overall a mediocre experience.

What’s lovely about this film is the fact that this film remains grounded within a future of that universe. Time has not been altered or changed to reflect modern tastes. Touch screens and head-up-displays that are prominent in our modern cinema have very little to do with the established world of Blade Runner. The Voigt-Kampff test is a technology that was interesting in the sense that it remains iconic and fascinating from a filmmaking perspective. And this film adds new vehicles, weapons and a great cinematographer to its established universe and polishes out the rough edges that were present in the original.

Blade Runner 2049 stars Ryan Gosling in his second role in which he actually gets to show that he can act (the first being La La Land (2016)). Most of the time, people submit that acting, in its best (see Oscars) form is subtle. Other times they suggest that powerhouse, extremely emotional performances like Hugh Jackman’s from Prisoners (2013) is what constitutes a great performance. While I do realize that acting requires immense talent, incommensurate kinds of methods for getting into character, a cooperation between all the major filmmakers involved, and more, I lean more towards James Franco’s performance in 127 Hours (2010) than Colin Firth’s in The King’s Speech (2010). #JamesFrancowasrobbed. But rarely do I say that the casting for a film was impeccable. Sometimes certain performances win over the people, sometimes it’s a great chance for actors to branch out, sometimes there are surprises from left field, but in a few rare cases, it’s hard to see anyone else in a role. Ryan Gosling is great for K, Harrison Ford returns in good form as Deckard, Bautista brings something truly unexpected in his role and there is an integral character with a small role overall that is pitch perfect. After I saw her and Robin Wright’s subtle acting it cemented my thoughts on the film in the acting sphere. It’s superbly cast. The small important character was the actual performance that I was most pleased by in this film, however. Jared Leto was interesting as the eccentric, blind, rich man… I think.

Hans Zimmer’s talents are squandered in this film. He’s been able to collaborate to great effect in films like The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014), as flawed and bad as it was, and the first two Kung Fu Panda films (2008 & 2011). But instead he’s to do his rendition of the original film’s compositions. He’s got to do Vangelis, again. Thirty-five years later. I get it. People like the original’s score. People worship Zimmer and Blade Runner, sometimes they happen to do both. For the original Blade Runner, that composer’s sound was an iconic part of it, sure. Doesn’t mean it was timeless. Hans Zimmer got a lot of flak for making his own version of the Batman theme in The Dark Knight trilogy, and the world is all the better for it. Here, he is boxed in the world of Blade Runner. Here, he is chained by the fans of the original. The film suffers because of those fans. Instead of going in new directions like Giacchino for Jurassic World (2015), Star Trek (2009), Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014), War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) or Rogue One (2016); instead of bringing back the composer that he previously collaborated with in 2015 for Sicario, Johann Johannsen, we are given a bland fan offering. There are moments when I notice the film’s music is about to head to something great, and then it veers towards synth sci-fi. Film score snobs, music critics and whoever else may heap praise upon Zimmer and his Dunkirk (2017) collaborator Ben W. for this film, but I won’t be one of them. Zimmer and his new buddy (Zimmer worked well with Junkie XL in Batman V Superman (2016); Junkie XL previously crafted a great score for Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)) are forced to placate the appetites of voracious fans instead of going in bold, new directions. I dislike the music. You might like it. And you’re free to do so. Music, I find, is a far more divisive medium concerning tastes than film. So go nuts and go crazy for all I care. Yo Yo Ma spoke about music that sounded good to him. The music in the Blade Runner universe doesn’t sound good to me. For more perspective on how the original film’s sound and soundtrack are layered and the like, you can see Nerdwriter1’s video on the matter.

The cinematography is so darn good. When used right, the visuals in a film can heighten the action, improve the pacing and make meaning of everything. The locked camera of Jackie Chan and Hong Kong directors make the action far more interesting than in Hollywood blockbusters with people flailing around in darkness (See EFAP’s video on Jackie Chan). Blade Runner 2049 reunites director Denis V. and cinematographer Roger Deakins. I’m just going to state for the record that I’m a fan. A big fan. I want to watch every film Deakins has ever done because seeing his work in this century’s films, I’m truly blown away. Directors need to work with a bunch of people to block and all, but a cinematographer like Deakins makes the final product that much better. Everything moves with purpose. The camera work is streamlined and masterful. I can’t really express in words how he does what he does besides a few interviews Deakins has done himself and a video by Tony Zhou (Every Frame A Painting, a truly artful man with a way with words. And a quick message to Zhou, if he somehow stumbles across my writing: Please come back to your channel and continue to do video essays. Please. We all miss you. Come back. Please.). The visual artistry of this film is profound. Denis and Roger should continue to work together for as long as possible.

The story of Blade Runner 2049 has a similar progression to its predecessor, in certain aspects. Its broad narrative is an investigation with mystery in a sci-fi setting. Whereas the previous film meanders, wastes time with its groundbreaking visual effects (there are shots of the iconic buildings that are just viewed from different angles with synth music blasting) and overall the plot devolves in its final act (turning into a slasher film, as noted by CinemaSins, I’m not calling CS good or critic-worthy but they occasionally do make some valid points)—this film is much more focused. This film finds a solid story progression but it too finds ways to slow down its story. There are lulls in between the acting, the spectacle, the visuals and the narrative. Although the argument can be made that the lulls are necessary, how you react to them can be a large indicator of what kind of moviegoer you are. If you perceive The Revenant (2015), Memento (2000), No Country For Old Men (2007) or Gravity (2013) as niche, indie, weird, dumb or boring, Blade Runner and its sequel are definitely not for you. Of note: all the previous films I mentioned in that sentence are ones I enjoy. Note: I enjoy them. You don’t have to. You can have your own dang opinion. You’re free to express that... For the most part. Anyways, on the bright side the film finds philosophic ideas to explore, interesting sci-fi settings to discover and the like… but I found it to be more of a specifically satisfying affair. Like the original Blade Runner, Rogue One, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015), Captain America: Civil War (2016), The Avengers (2012) and Terminator (1984), I understand why people like this film. But it doesn’t mean that I have to. I respect the craft and artistry. I do. But it’s not something that connects with me. It’s not that it falls flat. It’s just that the sum of its parts do not add up to a greater whole. I shouldn’t be analyzing a film based on math but I’m just trying to make a point. BR 2049 is exceptional filmmaking… but it’s rare in its appeal. It’s finely tuned, for the right group.

TL;DR: Not for me, but I respect the craft. 3/5 stars

#Blade Runner #Blade Runner 2049 #Review #Film #Cinema #Movie #Discussion #2017 #October #Movie references #Text #Long #80%#B-#3 stars #3/5 #Sci fi #Blockbuster #denis villeneuve #Thoughts

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