#what did we do to deserve scene like this and not have the finish god damn it

[vitalverstappen]

The Tortured Poets Department - D. Ricciardo

summary: snapshots of your relationship with Danny

pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x reader

warnings: smoking, anxiety, self sabotage

word count: 1.6k

a/n: writing is quite literally the only thing getting me through the danny news so enjoy!

It wasn’t hard to figure out that Daniel was into the arts. He constantly had a camera in his hands, he had a .jpeg account, and his favorite dates were always to the local art museum. So it was no surprise that when you first started dating, he started to dabble in writing. What did puzzle you was the fact he bought a typewriter for his endeavors. And that he had a habit of leaving it at your apartment. 

“I don’t understand how you keep forgetting this thing. It’s huge” You joked as you flipped your phone camera to show the machine that was collecting dust on your kitchen table. As much as you loved him, you’d never understand why he chose such an antiquated way of putting his stories to life. 

“I left it there again?” He asked “Maybe I should just keep it there. We could start a club: The Tortured Poets Department” 

“Yeah, good luck with that” You said, a smirk plastered on your face. 

The next Grand Prix came quicker than you would’ve liked. You loved watching the race, and loved seeing Danny do what he loves, but you hated that he always ended up self sabotaging. It didn’t matter if it was a race win or if he came in last. He always found something to be upset about.

A frown was plastered on his face as he climbed out of the car. He had gotten fourth, so you would think there was nothing to be upset about, but that’s not how Daniel operates. You were easily able to decode that the finish meant he was either upset that he didn’t get on the podium, or that he didn’t think he deserved to be that high. 

“There is no way I actually got P4.” He began 

“I don’t deserve that” The two of you said in sync, a playfully mocking tone in your voice. You already knew how this was going to play out, as if it was a show you had watched countless times. You had the dialogue memorized.

A sigh escaped your lips as you wrapped your arms around him, your tone becoming more serious, “Yes you do, love. You deserve that and the whole world.”

“You really mean that?” He asked as he pulled away from you, his arms still at your waist.

“Yes, I fully mean that. You’ve hauled that tractor of a car all the way to fourth. You have incredible talent behind the wheel.” You reassured him. 

That night, the two of you returned home to Monaco, where you had a nice, relaxing evening of listening to your favorite songs, smoking, and going through the F1 gossip blogs. It was a guilty pleasure, hearing what everyone had to say about you two. Both you and Daniel didn’t care how everyone felt about you two. If anything, it was funny seeing how wrong the internet was about everything that happened behind the scenes. 

“‘I think Danny and Y/N should get a dog. They’d be such cute pawrents!’” Daniel read and then glanced over at you, wiggling his eyebrows “Should we?” 

“God no” You laughed “ We can barely take care of ourselves. What makes you think we can take care of a dog?” 

Daniel shrugged “True, we’re not Charles and Alexandra. We’re just two idiots” 

“You’re gonna love this one ‘Rumor has it that Y/N Y/L/N is leaving Daniel for another F1 driver.’” You read off of your phone “And guess what the attached photos were of?” 

“What?” Danny asked as he took a bite of the chocolate bar he had in his hand

You managed to form a smirk with the blunt in your mouth as you tilted the phone for him to see. On the screen was a photo of you in the VCARB garage talking to another man. What the world didn’t know was that the unnamed man was your twin brother. 

“Wow, you and Matthew seem pretty close. I heard he’s into you” Daniel joked as he plucked the blunt from your mouth and putting it in his instead

“Oh shut up” You said, the two of you quickly breaking into laughter

The sound of laughter slowly died down as the album that was currently on the record player ended. The walk over to the dresser was like a minefield littered with empty chocolate wrappers.

“How many of these did you have?” You asked, picking one up

“Seven?” Daniel answered, unsure 

“Oh my god you’re ridiculous” You chuckled as you threw the wrapper at him, nearly hitting him in the face. “What do you wanna listen to next?” 

“Charlie Puth?” Daniel suggested, as he put out the end of the blunt “You know, he should really be a bigger artist” 

You thought about his comment for a second as you put one of his old records on, “Yeah, you don’t hear much about him nowadays”

As you climbed back into bed, Daniel rested his head on your chest. Out of instinct, your right hand began running itself through your boyfriend’s curly hair. He took your left hand and started fiddling with the ring on your middle finger - your mom’s engagement ring. Daniel loved playing with it for some reason, but you never questioned why. 

His chest began to rise and fall slower and slower, the fiddling stopped, and snoring began to fill the room. Never in your life did you imagine having a tattooed golden retriever of a boyfriend, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

But the doubts always crept in, and this night was no different. You were awakened by the feeling of Daniel tossing and turning all night, something clearly bothering him.

“You alright?” You muttered, turning to face him

“Wha? Yeah everything’s fine. Can’t sleep that’s all” Daniel spoke

“You usually sleep really well after a race. Something’s up. Talk to me.”

At this point, the two of you were fully awake and sat up in bed. Like you predicted, worry was spread all over his face. 

A sigh left his lips before Daniel spoke again, “Is this too much for you?” 

“What?” You asked 

“The relationship, the media attention. I know there’s a lot that comes with dating me. The cameras, the rumors, me constantly being away. I know it’s a whirlwind that even I can’t keep up with sometimes. Is this all too much for you?” 

Silence overcame the two of you as you became deep in your thoughts. It was a lot on you, and he knew that. It was always tough being away from each other, and you never thought your relationship would have a magnifying glass focused on it. 

But to you, it was all worth it to be with the one you truly loved. Love was about sacrifices and being there for each other regardless. And that’s what the two of you had done. 

“I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a lot to handle” You began “It’s never easy being away from you, or worrying about your safety every weekend. And the constant comments about us aren’t exactly rainbows and butterflies, but honestly? I don’t want it any other way. I chose to be in this cyclone with you. I wouldn’t want it any other way as long as I have you.”

You could hear Daniel release the breath you didn’t know he was holding, “I love you”

“I love you too” 

The reassurance you gave that night was all Daniel needed. Once summer break arrived, he insisted on taking you to your favorite restaurant; the same one he took you to for your first date. He had managed to get you a secluded table with rose petals covering the cloth. 

“Danny, you didn’t have to do this” You said as he pulled the chair out for you 

“Maybe I wanted to” He said as he pushed you in and then sat across

The night was spent talking about anything and everything, from the first half of the F1 season to reminding Daniel why you refuse to eat pineapple on pizza. As the night continued on, you could tell Daniel was getting more anxious about something, but you couldn’t put a finger on what. 

“You know I love you, right?” Daniel blurted out 

Your eyebrows furrowed “Yeah Dan, I do. And I love you too”

“No, I love you, a lot.” He began as he took your left hand, “More than I thought was ever possible to love somebody. The day I met you I knew I wanted to be a part of your life. I wanted to experience everything that you do. Be there to celebrate your highs and support you through your lows. It has been so much fun getting to live life with you, and I’m so thankful you’ve been doing the same for me.”

Daniel paused as he got up from his seat, his hand still holding yours as he bent down on one knee. As he slid your mom’s engagement ring off of your middle finger, you could feel your heart pounding out of your chest. This was happening. This was real life. 

“Y/N Y/L/N, Will you make me the happiest man alive? Will you marry me?” Daniel askes 

“Yes Danny. Yes, yes. A thousand times yes!” You answered, the words falling out of your mouth with ease 

As you two returned to your apartment, the same typewriter Danny bought all those years ago greeted you on your dresser. Dust covered each of the keys, but it seemed to shine with a new brightness. There was something about the machine that drew you in. So you sat down, as if you were greeting an old friend, and blew the dust off the rusty keys, ready to join the Tortured Poets Department with Danny. 

[marvelsmylife]

Find my way back to you

Pairing: Garrick x reader

“You are the light to my dark, Sunshine,” he said in a raw voice. His lips brushed against mine as he spoke. “Without you, I’m lost.”

- Twisted Love

Plot: Garrick is heartbroken when you ask him for space after you find out he’s been keeping a secret from you.

Masterlist

Ana Huang Quote Drabble Masterlist

Five days. It’s only been five days since you found out the secret Garrick had been hiding from you for the past two years. Sadly, you knew that if you hadn’t walked in on Garrick talking to Xaden about the revolution, he wouldn’t have told you about it. Because of that, you told him that you needed space from him while you tried to process your emotions. Of course, Garrick didn’t take your request well and tried to convince you not to push him away.

You ultimately got your way and tried your best to avoid him at all costs. People quickly took notice and were pestering both you and Garrick for the sudden change. While you tried your best to give a neutral answer, Garrick would admit he fucked up and kept a secret from you.

Because of this, your friend group was split on which side they were on. Half of them (the half that knew the secret) were on Garrick’s side and would tell you to give Garrick a second chance. While the other half respected your choice and told you that you had the right to be mad. Then there was Violet who knew the whole truth as well and voiced her approval of your actions because she was in your position once. “They just don’t get how much of a betrayal it is to have your other half keep a secret from you. What’s worse is that you and Garrick were together for two years,” Violet told you when you were hanging out in your room.

“That’s the part that hurts the most,” you replied, “the fact that he didn’t feel comfortable sharing such an important secret with me. Like did he think I was going to rat them out, or something? I would have loved to help them in any way possible.”

You were getting ready to go on a long rant when your dragon spoke to you, Go to the flight field. Your loved one is injured. Your stomach dropped at your dragon's words and sprinted toward the flight field. “Fuck,” you whispered when you spotted Xaden and Liam struggling to carry Garrick.

Bodhi was the first to notice you and let you know what happened to Garrick. “You stupid, reckless idiot. Why were you being so reckless,” you scolded Garrick as you started mending his wounds with your signet.

Garrick didn’t answer, he just stared at you as you mended him. After you finished, you looked up at your friends, “Can I speak to Garrick in private for a second?” Your friends agreed and disappeared, just leaving you and Garrick alone in the dark.

As soon as you were alone you caressed his face as you spoke, ” How did you let this happen? You’re always so careful during flight maneuvers.”

“I haven’t been thinking straight since our fight. You are the light to my dark, Sunshine,” he said in a raw voice. His lips brushed against yours as he spoke. “Without you, I’m lost.”

“Garrick,” you whispered.

Garrick gave you a sad smile as he continued, “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about what we were doing behind the scenes.” Garrick looked around to see if anyone was around, “I wanted to tell you, I really did, but what we’re doing is extremely dangerous and I just wanted to protect you. You are too important to me to put your life in danger.”

“I get that,” you replied, “but I just want to help. I don’t have to do much. I could mend anyone who’s injured so they don’t have to go to the healers.”

Garrick nodded at your suggestion, “Your signet could be very useful to us. Ok, I’ll talk to Xaden about this,” Garrick smiled as you pressed a kiss on his forehead, “I don’t deserve you.”

“No, you don’t,” you teased, “but I’ll always love you.”

Garrick let out a laugh as he held you close under the stars, “thank the gods. I don’t know what I would have done if you stopped loving me.” You laughed along as you fell into a comfortable silence with the man you loved unconditionally.

[imalittleredtorvette]

[flugame-mp3]

SEASON NINE FINALE WAS WILD. I HAVE MANY MANY THOUGHTS. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER FOR SURE

[alia-schlatt]

"You're beautiful"||JSchlatt

♡ Summery ♡

Jokingly flirting turns Schlatt into a teddy bear

♡ Warnings ♡

Sfw but mentions of smut while flirting.

♡ Word Count ♡

The total words are 623

♡ Authors Note ♡

Hi loves!! This is my first time writing and posting on Tumblr. I hope you enjoy♡

"Ight I think imma log off, I gotta be up early for some market the missus wants to go to," Schlatt tells his friends on the other side of the discord call. I watch as he shakes his head and closes the game. "Sorry boys, I'll see you later. Bye." He says before he ends the call.

"You could have played longer," I tell him. "Nah, I'm tired." He says, closing a few apps on his computer. "What have you been doing while I've been gaming Toots?" He asks. I look down at the page of quite literal porn on my iPad. "Just reading," I smile. "Reading? Is it that filthy shit again?" He asks.

Schlatt picked up a book of mine once about a year ago and opened it to a random page that just so happened to be a smut scene. He's never let it go since.

"No, nothing like that," I say, biting my tongue. I watch as he stands and rolls the chair into the socket of the desk before leaning down to touch his toes. He stands straight and stretches side to side before lifting his arms up and stretching his back.

His shirt lifts a bit, and my eyes immediately go towards a V-line of hair leading into his pants. "What you looking at sugartits?" He questions. "Nothing," I snap immediately. Looking into his eyes, he smirks, knowing he caught me. "We gonna head to bed soon?" He asks, and I nod.

"It's hot in here," He says, starting to take off his hoodie. As he lifts it over his head, my eyes immediately and involuntarily go back to that V-line.

My view is blocked by a blob of red hurling towards my face. It hits me with a soft sting. I stare at the hoodie of his that now lays in my hands. "Hey, what was that for?" I forow my brow. "That's what happens when you let those porny books get inside your mind and affect your thinking." He jokes.

"And why not? You seemed to like it last night," I smirk.

"God, you're such a brat,"

"Your brat," I wink.

Jay and I did this a lot. We called it friendly flirting. Although yes, we were a couple, we would often flirt with each other like you would a friend.

"You think you're such a smart ass, but what would happen if I-" he doesn't finish the sentence but instead jumps onto the bed on which I'm sitting and starts tickling me.

I turn into a fit of laughter as I try to get him to stop. "Jay -" I try to catch my breath. "Stop -" another wave of giggles hit me. It's not long until I'm pinned under him and still a laughing mess. I don't even realize he's stopped tickling me until he leans down and kisses my forehead.

When he pulls away, I look up into his eyes, and a smile spreads across my cheek.

"Hi," I whisper.

"Hey Toots," He whispers back.

We stared at each other for a long while before he scoffed.

"You're so beautiful, ya know that?" He says.

"Jay -" I try to pass off the compliment.

"No, my love. You're beautiful, I don't think you'll ever be able to see yourself the way I do. And God, I wish you could. You're the most perfect woman in the entire world. What I did to deserve you, fuck I'll never know" He tells me.

My stomach erupts with butterflies. "Who are you, and what have you done with Jay?" I try joke, and he rolls off me.

He turns to me, and I look at him.

"I love you, Toots."

"I love you too, big guy"

[xiaosonlybeloved]

First Words~ Gojo Satoru

featuring:- Gojo Satoru, fem!reader, Megumi, Tsumiki, [d/n] is your daughter's name tags:- fluff, reader has a child with Gojo, Megumi and Tsumiki are still kids and live with them, reader is called mama a/n:- oh my god people writing this killed me how do yall write fluff T.T the next fic i write is gonna be hardcore angst as compensation dudhsufi, also my first time writing fluff and jjk hope u like it :)

wc:- 1.1k

masterlists

“Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but have you seen a white-haired man with a small kid anywhere?” You frantically asked the nearest shop employee. You had turned your back on your husband for just a few minutes, which had apparently been enough for him to disappear somewhere into the large supermarket, with your child. Thank the gods atleast Megumi and Tsumiki had the good sense to not follow him. Unfortunately, neither of them had caught Satoru disappearing. 

You tightly held Megumi’s hand to ensure that you two wouldn’t be separated, keeping your eyes peeled for the albino male. Tsumiki, being a little older than him, had decided to independently search for Satoru, both of you agreeing to return to the billing counter once you’d found him. “I swear, when I find him, he’s gonna have it from me.” You muttered under your breath as you hurried with Megumi through the endless rows in the supermarket. 

And voila, where do you finally find him? In one of the multiple rows of the sweets and deserts section, one hand carefully balancing your child and keeping her from grabbing at the chocolates, while he stocked the cart with packets of chocolates, in addition to the pile of donut packets and sweets and what not. You narrow your eyes as you leave Megumi’s hand and angrily stomp towards him, causing him to freeze as if he’s been caught red-handed -which he had been. He hadn’t even finished the humongous stock at home, and he was buying more! At this rate, he deserved to develop diabetes with his crazy sweet tooth.

Satoru nervously grins at you as you narrow your eyes at him. “Oh, darling, there you are-” “Cut the crap, Gojo Satoru. You had me searching for over 15 minutes, do you know that? You weren’t even answering your phone, the sheer audacity. We are outside right now, so I won’t make a scene, but you damn better be prepared when we get home.” You shift your attention from your husband to your daughter, whose eyes had lit up on seeing you and was grabbing at you with her chubby fingers, almost falling out of Satoru’s arms. You let out a sigh of relief as you take her into your arms, giving her a kiss on her forehead, which made her giggle and laugh as she started babbling, attempting to say ‘Mama’. It was always so adorable to see her say gibberish- she was starting to speak these days, much to your and Satoru’s elation. From beside you, Megumi gently held her hand, and she closed her fist tightly around his finger. You gently bend down a bit so that Megumi can squish [d/n]’s cheeks and she can grab his spiky hair with her other hand as both you and Satoru chuckled. 

“Gu.. Gu..Mi… Gumi!” Your daughter suddenly exclaims after many attempts, using the nickname you two had given Megumi. All three of you freeze, amidst [d/n]’s babbling of “Gumi! Gumi!” Satoru is the first one to break out laughing as he throws an arm around Megumi, saying with a grin, “Well, would ya look at that? Her first word isn’t Mama or Papa, its you! Man, I’m a bit jealous, but oh well.” Megumi looks stunned as she sticks out her tongue at him, something she recently learned from Satoru. But slowly, a soft smile spreads across his face as he hesitantly reaches his arms out, asking you if he could hold her. You readily give him his little sister as she starts laughing once again, grabbing two fistfuls of his hair. He doesn’t seem affected as he gently plays with her a bit.

Just then, Tsumiki comes running in. “I see you found him!” She exclaims between pants. “What did I miss?” Satoru happily tells her what happened as [d/n] again shifts her attention from Megumi to you, reaching out for you again. He quickly hands her over to you, satisfied, and she snuggles into your shoulder, mumbling her second word- Mama, as you grin and play with her hair affectionately. Satoru excitedly hurries behind you to see his adorable little daughter’s face, but all she does is frown at him for ‘disturbing her time with her mom’. She turns her face away, burying it into your neck, when Satoru tries to get a reaction out of her by poking and pinching her cheeks. “Cmon, sweets, just say my name once? Just once?” He tried to prod at her, and she glared at him, or well… tried to- she just looked adorable as ever with a baby scowl. Tsumiki giggled at his relentless attempts, finally pulling him away from his daughter with a scolding of “Stop annoying her!” Then she walks up to you for her turn of holding [d/n], welcomingly holding her arms out for her. [d/n] stares at her for a bit, before agreeing, as if deciding that she wasnt likely to annoy her. All four of you ignore Satoru’s gasp of utter betrayal. 

“My own family doesn’t stand by me anymore.” He wept dramatically in the middle of the supermarket as the four of you grin and play with [d/n], who finally says her third word- ‘Miki’. (Store employees and other people give you weird looks but ignore you.) You’re surprised at how quickly she’s learning- probably something she inherited from her dad. Ironically, her dad’s name is the only name she hasn’t spoken yet. 

She quietens down after a while, causing the three of you to look at her in puzzlement. “I guess she’s tired by now.” You hummed as she started reaching out of Tsumiki’s arms again, but towards her dad. He immediately grabs the opportunity, quickly taking [d/n] into his arms. She rests her head on his shoulder, as if she was about to fall asleep, and you all look at your little bundle of joy with a soft smile.

Just before she starts snoring, she mumbles another word, the last one before she falls asleep- ‘Papa’. A warm grin spreads across your husband’s face, as he first looks at his daughter, then at his family- all of whom are smiling happily at him too. 

Luckily for him, the scolding you were supposed to give him at home slipped your mind amongst all the excitement in the supermarket. After all, you do love him and the rest of your family with all your heart, so you suppose you can forgive his childish antics this once. (And many more times in the future too.)

requests are open, and darn it i have no idea how to write fluff aaa. reblogs, tags and comments are very much appreciated , thanks for reading :)

[spencerreidsbookfairy]

i have no one to blame but you

YALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL this was so hard write im sorry if it sucks but another question.....concert scene??? just a thought

I'm at peace. I am. At. peace. 

So why do I wanna see him?

My fans loved the tracks and that makes me happy but i'm not actually happy i'm slightly content at most 

Nope. y/n go to bed 

Meanwhile at the bau…..

Garcia swears she could pass out after seeing y/n released 3 song tracks 

She the grabs her laptop and struts her pink glittery high heels across the bureau in a panic 

Derek sees her power walking to the empty round table he knew it was a calm day with no cases and in fact they were just about to leave and head home 

‘’Whoa baby girl slow down what with the rush to the round table is there an emergency case?’’

She immediately spills the beans no longer able to keep it in but she says it in a hushed whisper because spencer is right across from them by the coffee pot 

“ No! y/n  just uploaded music again after a month and i wouldnt be surprised if she wrote nasty lyrics  about boy genius!!!!’’

Derek is taken aback

“Relax penelope i'll go listen with you im sure its nothing”

Garica nods 

As theyre both going to y/ns page to see for themselves incomes jj and emily

Garcia sighs and says ‘’ good, sit down both of you”

Garica explains the situation all over again 

They finally begin listening to the first track  snow angel

I met a boy

He broke my heart

I blame him 'cause

It's easier

They finish snow angel, speechless 

“Oh my god its definitely about him what are we gonna do if spencer hears this on the radio or somethin-”

“ deep breathes garcia” emily adds 

Second track lost cause

Thought you had your shit together, but damn, I was wrong

You ain't nothin' but a lost cause 

‘’ but spencer does have his shit together! Maybe not to her but thats so-” derek tries to say

“ he doesn’t deserve this we practically forced him to not like her” jj interupts 

Track three  happier than ever

You call me again, drunk in your Benz

Driving home under the influence

You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath

'Cause you only listen to your fucking friends

I don't relate to you

I don't relate to you, no

'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty

You made me hate this city

And I don't talk shit about you on the internet

Never told anyone anything bad

'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything

And all that you did was make me fucking sad

So don't waste the time I don't have

And don't try to make me feel bad

I could talk about every time that you showed up on time

But I'd have an empty line 'cause you never did

Never paid any mind to my mother or friends

So I shut 'em all out for you 'cause I 

was a kid

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

Made all my moments your own

Just fucking leave me alone

‘’ spencer cannot listen to this” garcia decides 

“Listen to what?”

Everyone at the table freezes in their seat

“ not you spencer, another spencer” garcia quickly says

Everyone else at the table mentally face palms 

‘’Right….let me listen to whatever you're hiding, thanks.’’

‘’ why are you guys listening to y/ns music?”

Spencer listens to all the tracks with his face in his hands the whole time

‘’ this is all your guys fault!”

“ we know”

“ i have to go see her”

Meanwhile at y/ns home

Three knocks at first.

Then six

The a multitude obsessive amount of knocks at my door.

‘’ spencer. I swear to fuck i will call the authorities”

“ i am the authorities, please open up”

I walk to the door

Why am i walking to the door.

Why am i turning the knob 

Why did i let him in.

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD

STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS

picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health

-

“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”

jeremy u flirt

-

do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?

-

oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10

if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.

if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.

i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.

sending lots of love to all of u

-

wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?

-

It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.

fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene

-

Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”

jean moreau u are so loved

-

“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING

-

Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.

jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him

-

betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug

and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-

“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.

CHAPTER TWELVEE

dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading

-

“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.

king is fed uppp

-

“It’s not about size, anyway.” ​“Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. ​Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U

-

“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”

GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN

-

“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”

now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact

“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,

this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash

-

“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” ​“Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”

NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP

YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON

-

CHAPTER 13333

jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him

meanwhile jean:

Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.

sureee buddy

-

They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.

well that is definitely an outfit!

-

“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”

EXCUSE ME

this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships

-

ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER

-

‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’

uhhhhh…

i don’t know how to tell u this buddy

-

dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy

chapter 14!!!

-

Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” ​Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” ​Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.

oh jean we’ll get there eventually

-

Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE

MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR

-

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”

-

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”

“Neither am I.”

TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST

-

everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept

-

kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life

they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” ​“I will wait as long as it takes,”

“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”

-

“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. ​“Obsessed,” Jeremy

exy fiend kevin day representation

also

“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil

-

She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.

this is the love jean deserves

chapter 15:

“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”

jean i love u

-

Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,

he’s so me

-

“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR

-

i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:

due to egregious injuries.” ​Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.

it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character

-

“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. ​“Denied,” White said.

SCREAMING

THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT

-

JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT

catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u

-

jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world

-

So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.

oh god don’t do this to me

-

Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.

beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate

A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.

A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS

-

SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO

“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”

starting off strong

-

You’re one of my kids now.

don’t mind me i’m just sobbing

-

no no no no no no no no no

holy shit no what the fucking fuck

don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now

actually dreading reading on right now

-

um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read

i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing

-

Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” ​“I do not want you to look.” ​It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,

-

only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him

chapter 17 the finale:

feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book

please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau

-

nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???

-

i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007

-

jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god

-

“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?

stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?

stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i

-

Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”

NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER

-

Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.

devouring these scraps about my boy

-

YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY

-

Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day

- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us

-

The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”

oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book

-

“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”

to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together

-

“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”

my hero

Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,

i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph

Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” ​“Shut up and get in the car.”

i wish neil josten was real

-

He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

-

Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”

he’s everything to me 🥰

-

“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.

and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”

- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn

-

ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope

-

“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”

oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud

-

“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”

THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE

all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon

-

i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do

best friends ❤️

-

jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him

A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS

!!!!!

I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK

[daydreamingmia]

ROADTRIP PART 2

Walker Scobell X Reader | Series | You Belong With Me🔱 Part 4

When you drive in the first thing you see is Buffalo. You take a couple pics and post them.

"Are you guys hungry?" Your mom asks

"YEESSSS!" everyone says in unison

"Alright look at the map and tell me what you wanna eat.

We decided on restaurant and drove there. Whe got a booth. I sat next to Walker and Leena sat next to me.

"I think I'm gonna have the fried chicken. What are you gonna have?" Walker asks me looking up from the menu at you

"Mac & Cheese" You said with a smile that Walker knew exactly what you were talking about

"Kraft Mac & Cheese if your parents don't buy it stop loving them" you recited

"Oh my God" Walker said rolling his eyes looking back down at his menu

When you leave the restaurant everyone is full. You go to your cabin and flop on the couch.

"I might explode" You groan

"Me too" Walker says as he lays down on the floor next to you. Making it kinda look like a crime scene.

"Oh no Walker's stupidity kill them both!" Lenna walks in with a smile

"Not yet!" You reply slightly lifting your head and putting it back down.

"Hey!" He said fake offended

-

Later that night everyone goes to the cabins campfire (I don't know if that is a thing. But pretend it it).

Everyone was making smores around the fire.

"Where is Walker?" You ask

"Boo!" Walker silently came up behind you and yelled in your ear. You scream and turn to see Walker laughing

"Walker! You almost made me drop my smore!" You yelled as you hit his shoulder.

He sat down next to you and made his own smore.

"Let's tell scary stories!" Walker said excited

"Noooo! I don't wanna have nightmares!" You complain

"Don't be chicken!" He reply and starts the story not listening to you.

"Years ago, a pack of ravenous wolves roamed these very woods, their eyes glowing fiercely in the moonlight. They were led by a massive alpha, whose howl could be heard for miles around. One night, a group of campers, much like them, set up camp in the same spot. Little did they know that they were being watched by the pack of wolves, their hunger growing with each passing minute. As the campers slept, the wolves attacked, their sharp teeth tearing through flesh and bone. The screams of the campers echoed through the woods, a haunting reminder of the horrors that lurked beneath the trees. To this day, it is said that the wolves still roam the woods, searching for prey. And on nights when the moon is full, their howls can still be heard, sending a shiver down the spines of anyone who dares to venture into their territory."

You hear a wolf howl and your eyes widen. You get closer to Walker.

"Alright let's go inside" Leena said seeing you were scared.

You looked at her with "Thank you!" Eyes and she nodded and smiled

Everyone got up and went inside to get ready for bed. You finished and went and sat on your bed and watched TV.

Your pajamas ⬆️

You were sharing a room with your sister and Leena. Walker across the hall.

Your sister was already asleep when Leena walked in.

"I thought you'd be asleep already." Leena said

"Not a hug fan on going to sleep right now." You said talking about the story

"Walker is annoying." she said

"Yeah" you nodded

"What are we watching?" she said hopping on your bed

"You don't have to stay up with me. I'll be fine." You said appreciating what she was trying to do

"You're my best friend and my stupid brother scared you. It is my duty to stay awake with you." She smiled

"What do you wanna watch?" You smiled

"Thor The Dark World!" She replied

You put it on with a smile and gave her the popcorn you had.

"Hey I know her!" Leena pointed to you on the screen

You both laughed

-

After about 2 hours you and Leena fell asleep.

You woke up in a sweat after dreaming about the wolves. You were scared. Leena said wake her up if she falls asleep and you have a nightmare. But you couldn't do that to her. There was someone who deserved being woken up. You got out of bed and Walker over to Walker's room. You knocked but there was no answer you slowly open the door and see Walker dead asleep.

"Walker!" You whisper yelled

Nothing

"Walker!" You said a little louder shaking him

"What?!" he groaned

"I had a nightmare" You pouted

"What about?" he asked still kinda out of it

"Your wolf story" you replied

"I'm sorry." He said actually compassionate "I didn't mean to scare you that much."

"Can I stay in here with you for a while?" You ask

"Yeah. Yeah. Of course." He said moving over

You laid down next to him and he hugged you. It was very comforting. He may be annoying sometimes but you knew he would protect you and would always be there if you needed him.

-

The next morning you woke up and saw it was 9 am.

"Walker" you said over your shoulder

"Hmm" He replied

"It's 9"

"So?"

"I'm hungry"

"Fine" He said letting go of you

You go to your room and change out of your pajamas.

Your outfit ⬆️ (you can change these outfits if you want)

You went to the kitchen where everyone is eating breakfast. Your mom made everyone French toast. It was delicious. After breakfast we all got in the van. We went to see Old Faithful which was beautiful then we went to the gift shop.

Do you like this?" Walker asked showing you a sweatshirt

The sweater Walker showed you⬆️

"Oooo! I love it! Why?" You asked

"No reason" He said casually and walking away

You look around and buy a few things. We all went back to the thevan and sat in our seats.

"Here" Walker said handing you a bag

You open the bag and see the sweatshirt that he showed you earlier

"Oh my gosh! Walker you didn't have to do that!" You said smiling holding it up looking at it

"Yes I did! It's repayment for scaring you last night." He replied happy you liked it

"Thank you!!" You said hugging him

"Of course!" He replied

You put it on as everyone drove back to the cabin.

-

You were reading on the couch and Walker was on his phone when your mom walked in the room

"Kids come look outside! It's snowing!" Your mom said

You and Walker both raced to the window to see blankets if white covering everything

"Oh my gosh it's so pretty!" You said admiring it's beauty

"Race you outside! Walker said running to the door and putting on his jacket.

You ran after him and put on your jacket and boots as fast as you could

"Walker?" You said stepping outside not seeing him anywhere. Then a snowball hit you right in the face.

"Bullseye!" He laughed

You guys had a snowball fight for at least 29 minutes then went back inside. Soaked. Especially Walker.

"I won!" You said with a smile

"Yeah right. I won!" Walker rolled his eyes

"Right Walker. Whatever you have to tell yourself." You said putting your hand on his shoulder

"You know what you're right..." He said clearly up to something

"I think the winner should get a hug" He said as you started running

"No! I wet enough as it is" You ran as fast as you could for about 2 minutes but you knew he was going to catch you eventually.

"Fine! You won! Happy?" You said turning around with your hands up

"Very" He said with a smile

-

We were now driving back home.

"It's so pretty here" Walker said looking out the window. You took a picture of him and posted it.

Then Taylor texted you

"I'm invited to the Grammys!" You exclaimed

"That's awesome! Congratulations!" Walker said hugging you

"Omg! That's amazing! Congratulations y/n!" Leena said very happy for you

"Thank you! I'm so excited!" You said smiling

-

When you got home it was midnight so you invited Walker and Leena to spend the night.

"That's sounds amazing! I'm so tired." Lenna said so happy

Leena would sleep in your room and Walker in the guest room.

"So, I got an email from my fashion designer and she gave me a couple options for the Grammys. Which one do you think I should pick?" You asked showing her your phone

"I think...that one" she said pointing to the one on the left

Your dress for the Grammys ⬆️

"That one it is!" You said emailing your fashion designer (Alexandria)

-

Couple days later

You were so excited!

[luneariaa]

choso respectfully looks so SO FINE, and I couldn't resist from writing this imagine for him. also he's just so,,

not proofread! fem reader.

. dividers by @/cafekitsune !! ❤

"And food is served!!"

You exclaimed happily, alerting both of your boyfriend and his sunshine little brother, Yuji to start eating together for dinner.

"I hope it's good. My cooking skills for certain foods is pretty bad honestly, I suppose."

Choso looks up at you from one of the chairs he's been sitting on; a small, soft smile is apparent as he stands. He kisses you on the forehead, before speaking in a reassuring tone.

"It looks amazing already, my dear. Don't worry about it." A sweet and honest tone is also laced behind his words, before gesturing for his brother to take a seat first at the dining table.

"Thank you for the food!!" Yuji exclaims cheerily, staring at all the good you have prepared in pure awe. "All of this looks so GOOD!!"

You laugh a bit as a reply, "Aww, I really did my best with it."

A light pink taints your cheeks when you feel Choso's large hand grabbing your own-- gently pulling you along with him to the seats as well. Even squeezing your hand in a so, tender manner. God my heart-

Once you three have settled at the table, Yuji takes a bite of the food and his eyes immediately light up, continuing so afterward while trying to talk with his mouth full.

"Please eat the food properly first, Yuji. I'm worried if you might choke on it." Choso scolds lightly, clearly concerned for his little brother. An adoring smile was sent out to your boyfriend from you.

He's always so caring and loving.. What did you ever do to deserve such a sweetheart like him?

"You could stay with us for the night if you wanted to! It's been quite late anyway." You suggested while beginning to eat some of the food as well. Choso nodded to the idea in agreement while looking at the pink-haired boy with a soft look.

"She's right. You're always welcome to stay here, Yuji."

"Hm-?!" He looks over to the both of you. "Are you sure?? I didn't want to intrude on you guys!"

Choso gently cuts him off. "It's completely fine. We don't mind having you around here at all!" His eyes seemed to brighten at his words of reassurance.

Yuji then grins brightly at the offer, "Well, if you two insist!"

While you were washing the dishes, Choso walks up behind you to help you a bit here and there-- planting kisses all over your face in the process.

"Cho.." You began to whine slightly at his actions, trying to stifle your own giggle.

"Hmm?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" He asks back with a seemingly innocent look, smiling down at you adorably.

"Just let me finish this up first, okay? Yuji might walk in on us all kissing each other like this." You chuckle at your own admittance. This made Choso pout a little.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, especially when you looked so lovely, even just by standing here."

While all of that is happening, the two of you didn't even notice that Yuji is standing nearby, pretending to not have just seen you both while pouring some drink for himself.

"You're just so cute and sweet, so I couldn't help myself from giving you my kisses."

Finally giving it a thought for the past few minutes, Yuji finally asked excitedly out of nowhere.

"So, when are you two getting married?!"

You almost dropped the glass that you've been washing in the sink, while Choso had his eyes widening upon the question.

"M-Married?" You stutter out, clearly at loss of words. Your boyfriend is clearly still baffled as well.

"I'm being so serious right now! You both look so perfect and happy with each other!" Yuji adds with an enthusiastic grin.

An awkward silence filled the air at that moment as you and Choso exchanged looks. It's safe to say that the both of you are beyond flustered at this point. ( just know that Yuji is witnessing the whole scene with a triumphant look. )

© 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚜.

[ruskaroma]

omg omg (i really need professional help) i had this Vision of dark+DARK+mean!john wick learning about an asshole who bullied their bunny-really-the-nicest-human-being!reader back during her school years (the reader cluelessly mentions it during conversation). john is not just angry outraged etc, he is The Rage, The War, The Biblical Day of Wrath, so he finds that guy, beats/tortures the living shit out of him and then brings his absolutely clueless little pretty bunny so that she could finish him. john is behind the reader, his arms wrapped around her arms, his hands on her shaking hands holding a gun pointing at the barely breathing man tied to a chair. the reader is crying begging to stop, and john goes "he deserves it, honey <3. now, right kneecap. go, princess, don't let me down".

Oh my god I have something for you.

Let’s give it a very dark twist, shall we? We’ll stick to this concept, but let’s make it even darker.

TW: mentions of past sexual and physical abuse, blood and gore, graphic depiction of torture, john being a very very mean man like he is fucked in the head may god bless his soul, john is also forcefully making the reader kill the man so there’s that.

It was a slip of your tongue. You didn’t notice it, but John surely did. You were used to rambling your thoughts away, a habbit that John adores so much, hearing your voice and telling him everything that’s in your head, because it means you’re not keeping any secrets from him.

A supposed to be peaceful Saturday night ruined John’s whole week, but he didn’t let it show. He kept himself composed around you, smiling so softly when you’d share a random fact about the things you’re holding or whatever comes in mind. He’s a master in the arts of keeping his expression controlled despite his emotions practically clawing their way out of his fucking lungs.

Your head was on his lap as he brushed your hair with his long fingers softly. For a hand that’s killed too many people to count, it’s surprisingly merciful around you. A shitty horror movie was playing on the TV but your attention quickly diverted to somewhere else when you watched a rather familiar scene in the film.

“Oh, man, that sucks. I know how it feels, I used to get hit by my ex-boyfriend all the time.”

What the fuck, John thought. His fingers stopped their movements as he furrowed his eyebrows. You said it as a whisper too but he heard it. He heard it fucking clearly.

“What?”

“Huh?” You moved your head to look up to him. “You said something?”

“You did,” John pointed out. “About your ex-boyfriend. What did you say?”

“Ohhh,” you said in realization, but your tone was calm. Like it was the most fucking normal thing to say in a conversation. “Yeah, he was mean. He used to hit me every time I made a very small mistake, but he said sorry when we broke up.”

John didn’t know what to say. He was frozen, trying to comprehend the words that were being thrown at him all at once.

His baby – the love of his life, someone who cannot even hurt a fucking ant – just dropped a bomb that she was a victim of abuse.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” John tried to keep his voice leveled, soft, as he placed a large hand on your cheek and pulled you up so he could take a good look at your face.

“Well, you didn’t ask. And it’s not like it mattered anymore. I went to therapy and everything was back to normal.”

“No, that’s not –” he closed his eyes in frustration, trying so hard to keep his shit together. “Did he do anything else? Where is he now?”

“He’s–he’s doing fine. I don’t know where he is, it’s been awhile since we’ve gotten in touch.”

John could hear the tremble in your voice, like you knew what was going to come, like you knew what he’s going to do.

He didn’t answer after you said that. He looked away from you, put his attention back to the television.

You shrugged it off, hoping he would let it go.

*

He did not, in fact, let it go.

You came home one day after work to see him being rather... cheery than usual. It was unusual in itself. John being particularly cheery was not something you see in your everyday life.

He had already cooked dinner when you arrived, ate it beside you with an arm around your shoulders. He was also crooning at your ears, asking about your day if something special happened.

“I have a surprise for you.”

Your eyebrows flew up, curious yet amused. Is this why he was cheery all of a sudden?

He led you to his basement – a place where you’re never allowed to go, always bolted shut and completely restricted to you. You were getting a pretty bad feeling about this.

“What–what are we doing here, John?”

Again, he didn’t answer. You could see the grim, dark expression on his face as he opened the door. The face you only ever see when he was just coming back from a long, tiring day at work. The face you only see you know he just slaughtered someone.

Turns out, he did.

Not exactly slaughtered, but close enough.

The man who made you go through hell for years, tied up in a chair in the middle of the room, missing all his fingers on both his feet and hands.

“John, what the–”

Your boyfriend pushed a heavy pistol in your hand, and your heart is beating so hard inside your chest you couldn’t speak properly. You haven’t yet got the time to comprehend what was happening. It was all too fast.

“Pull it.”

“J-John, please don’t–”

“Pull it,” John repeated. He didn’t like repeating himself. You know this. He was standing behind you, his chest pressing against your back, warm and broad and his voice sounded so menice and fucking evil and– “Pull it, baby, before I do it myself.”

“Why are you–” your voice was shaking as well as your hands. You wanted to drop the weapon but you knew it wouldn’t do you any good, not when John was just behind you. “Why are you doing this, John? Please let him–let him go, it was a long time ago–”

“I don’t care,” he said simply, one large hand sneaking down to grab your wrist that’s holding the gun, pointing it directly at the man who’s – Jesus, was he still alive? You saw him move, he flinched, then let out a cough that made more blood from his mouth drip onto his lap. “I haven’t killed him yet because that’s your job.”

“N-No–” tears were forming into your eyes. The feeling of John’s hand gripping yours was already too much to bear, much worse pointing it to the man who abused and neglected you during your relationship, but why were you feeling bad? “John, I–I don’t w-want to, John, please, I don’t want–”

John sighed, disappointed, but he didn’t let you go. Instead, he leaned down closer to your ear and pressed a soft kiss there. His beard tickled, making you flinch and let out a shaky breath as you gulped hard.

“John, he–I know you’re doing this because you think it’s best, but I–I promise you that it’s not worth it–it’s in the past and, and–”

“Excuses, excuses,” John whispered, standing straight and taking a step away from you, positioning himself in front of the gun. “Here you are, begging for the life of the man who abused you in the past. Don’t you think that sounds absolutely ridiculous, baby?”

“It’s not–it’s not ridiculous, John, I promised! We–we talked one time after our breakup and he–he apologized for everything, I swear–I swear, John, it was all in the past–”

John cut off your rambling with an evil stare, and it was so unlike him that it scared you right to the very core. “Pull the trigger or I will. I’ll put a fucking hole in his head, saw it off and send it to his little wife and children back in Vegas.”

“John–” you sobbed. “John, please–”

“Did you know that I made him confess every diabolical shit that he’d done to you every time I chop off one of his fingers?” John said it in such a calm and steady tone that it made you only afraid of him even more. “I chopped all his fingers, and he still won’t stop confessing more. Can you believe that?”

“I already forgave him–I already forgave him, John, this wasn’t necessary–”

“It won’t be the same if I’m the one who pulls the trigger now, would it? It wouldn’t be fair, because I’m not the one who suffered under his hands,” John pushed even further, walking back to his original position behind you, gripping your arm and pointing the pistol directly at his head. “If you don’t pull that fucking trigger in the next five second, I’ll let you use a chainsaw to do it and trust me when I say you wouldn’t want it messy.”

You gulped, feeling yourself grow more and more afraid as John stood behind you. He was radiating anger, but he was keeping it at bay, though his swear words might be some of the leakage of his emotions he couldn’t contain any longer.

“I don’t want–don’t make me d-do this, John–”

“One...”

“John, please–”

“Two....” His voice was scary. Deep and level, and the grip on your arm tightened. You felt suffocated.

“I’m gonna throw u-up if I–”

“Three...” He was getting agitated.

The man’s head rose up from his position earlier to meet your eyes, and you swore you felt your stomach churn. His eyes were fucking gone.

The man opened his mouth to speak and a weak voice came. “D-Don’t–”

You pulled the trigger.

“There’s my little bunny.”

You dropped the gun as soon as his brains flew against your face and onto the wall, painting it red. You couldn’t bear to watch any further. You turned with a sob and buried your face in John’s chest, crying hysterically as he soothed you calmly by petting your head.

“Good girl. You did so fucking good, I’m so proud of you.”

[funtheysaid]

IWTV 2x02 Initial Thoughts (Stream Of Consciousness)

- ooh the title card changed! I’ve been wanting to see the Eiffel Tower as a “fang” since season two was announced. WE IN PARIS BABY!

- ayooo three-way (interview) incoming

- Daniel’s “Paris sucks” aka “Paris is where my ex-bf is from and he sucks (dick), but not mine anymore, and no, I’m not bitter abt that, his city just fucking stinks (literally)”

- not two minutes in and Devil’s Minion is already flirting bickering

- ALICE MENTION alice!armand truthers are gon love that shit i just know

- “I’ll tell you what a woman is” That’s my sapphic-coded queen!!! 🕯️ pls S2 give me claudeleine 🕯️

- “Gauche” well, yes.

- Loumand: 🥰🥰 Daniel: 🙄 he‘s so second-hand embarrassed for them I can’t

- I mean, it’s crazy. What? We finish each other’s- I WAS WITH HIM FOR LONGER THAN LESTAT WAS WITH HIM WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN DANIEL PUT IT ON RECORD WEVE BEEN FUCKING FOR LIKE DOUBLE THE TIME …that’s what i…was….gonna say?

- Louis would be that faux-intellectual hipster who has his own darkroom full of overexposed and blurry, unfocused photos that are his “art” bc he took them on film (affectionate)

- Not claudia calling him out on it in the next scene “let me think I’m deeper than I am” okay honey you do you

- “She’s miserable but she doesn’t want to fuck with your too delusional left bank dilettante vibes” ahh the narrative foils are foiling, I see

- The show: Alice was pregnant, My dumb ass: OMEGAVERSE DEVILS MINION !?!?

- “joyfully joyless” MOOD.

- Claudia looking at Madeleine like “I don’t know if I want to be her or be with her” Dw babe it’s a rite of passage for all of us you’ll figure it out

- “Your French is ugly” 🥹👉👈 weally?

- “the dress for my body” LOOK I know what she meant, but I can’t help it that my mind is perverted

- LMFAO NOT GLORYHOLE PARK

- okay why Loumand playing with my heart “I will never harm you. And I never have” wtf wtf wtf

-Oh no the ole business card trick! we all know that’s Louis’ kryptonite he loves a man with credentials

- i like girls, but why is santiago kinda…

- Woah the Annika scene was really hard to watch which I think was the point but goddamn idk if I’ll be able to rewatch that part

- Estelle is my self-insert. I’m claiming her.

- “You both fucked Lestat!?!” HOW DID THEY KNOW WE WANTED HIM TO SAY THAT!?

- “He tasted of vermouth and annihilation” We both know you have no earthly idea what that man tastes like, Armand. Be so fucking fr right now.

- Did Armand just casually drop that he had a threesome with a father and son? I’m sorry, sir????

- “Now I know what two blood fat cocks slapping hands feel like” When I tell you my spirit left my body

- oh shit here we go. I’m a caged animal and it’s time for my weekly enrichment. give me my loustat.

- there’s a letter !?!? Wait wait I wasn’t ready for something like this wait stop stop please

- “all my love belongs to you. you are its keeper” just take me out back and shoot me at this point

- “it is a thin veil” fucking fuck why was that so romantic??

- the blood tears welling up in Lestat’s eyes I’m-

- “Rebound of my life” and in that moment, he spoke for the people

- WHAT IS HAPPENING???? Jesus Christ, they were talking about Alice and then it cuts to FUCKING ARMAND!?! This is not a drill. Everyone to your stations, this is not a drill.

- “You sold your Dad’s playboy magazines at recess” Hmmm? You’re telling me a “straight” teenage boy sold porno mags instead of keeping them for himself??? Yeah, I call gay on that one

- “she wanted to say yes” you motherfuckers.

- Oh shit Louis is pissy tonight rawr kitty got claws

- Devils minion girlies are thriving, skin glowing, hair silky, breath minty, pillow cold, stomach full, dreams sweet, and by Jove, we fucking deserve it !!!!

- daniel’s shaky “um- gulp” …….guys this is gonna sound crazy but i think there might actually be a god

- ooh the camera/photography being like a divide or barrier between Louis and his present situation. Like he wants to capture the moments, but only as if an onlooker and not a participant… interesting!

- “Who?” will never not be funny

- “Mon ami” in the same episode as “Mon Cher” FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW

- “Armand for you” nah nah nah i changed my mind, you can do like Leatherface and shove that chainsaw in rough and hard

- Close up on Louis’ conflicted face, fire blazing behind him…. That’s not foreboding in any way. I’m sure they’ll all live happily ever after from now on :D

What a ride! Until next week! 🧛‍♂️🩸

[phantombre]

Uh...

...Rema?

Remember in the birthday post when I said that I had some more sketches?

Well I have more sketches:

Some other guys that I don't have posted designs yet but I really like.

Your Contrarian to me is very cowboy coded. I know he's the Bard, but... I don't know... He got yeehaw energy. (For the record, I do not think this is a bad thing. In fact, Cowboy Contra is a really interesting idea actually...) Also, I can only hope that my take on Contra has even a fraction of the smug that yours has.

World record for Living Being with the Most Sass obviously goes to Oppy. Your version, especially.

Paranoid is just the most adorable guy... Just look at him! Ahh!

I like to think that Cold can flare out his cloak like a peacock as he floats about. (As if his aura isn't intimidating enough.) Very spooky. :)

And I thought this was all...

...but it ain't...

As I was sketching, I had this idea:

My Hero was already pretty tall, but it'd be funny if he was still somewhat dwarfed by your Bard. (Also, the eye. Holy shit, I didn't know he even had eyes 'til I saw your redesigns. So unnerving. It's perfect.)

And wow! I still wasn't done. The hell is wrong with me?

I remember seeing the Guts Trio comic (which I adore, btw). I really like this panel:

...and this is all I can think about:

It's that scene from the animated version of the Little Mermaid with the pipe and the- ahhh! It's so good!

Poor Skeptic, though. He seems really roughed up trying to hang with Stubborn and Hunted...

Actually, you know what? I can't have this. He deserves better...

God, I haven't done a digital painting since my Long Quiet... Feels good. Need to do more...

Anyway, there he is! The reason this took me so long to post. Loosely based on that scene in your fic. Had to give him the utmost respect. He is a classy Detective, after all.

Okay... Just two more, I promise...

Part of this one was actually supposed to be part of the original gift:

Yep! I originally had the Narrators, but I couldn't finish it in time (also was trying to look for any references to your designs). I ended up recycling it for this comic idea.

But oh? What's this?

But of course! Your helmless Smitten is absolutely gorgeous! The most beautiful man!

Writing his dialogue, however, was the hardest thing for me. (Not even sure if I did it justice here...)

It was at this point that I completely ran out of steam (not permanently, but man, my brain hurts). I had a concept for a part two to the Smitten comic, but I am drained. I guess I can give the dialogue for it...

My Narry: Good Lord, he talks endlessly...

Rema's Narry: Yes, perhaps the most annoying of the bunch.

My Narry: Glad we don't have one-

?????: Oh, on the contrary, villains!

Rema's Narry: you can't be serious...

My Narry: WHAT THE SHI-

Gee, wonder who mystery dude is...

Anyway, this post is way too long. I am so sorry. My brain autopilots too much.

These are all additional birthday gifts for @remaking-machine. I hope you enjoy. Your art is very inspirational. I had a fun time.

Time to eep

[cult-of-the-eye]

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

[cowgurrrl]

The Palace in Flames

Pairing: Javier Peña x CIA!reader

Author's note: okay two things 1) fuck it we ball on this timeline 2) i don't love how this turned out but I need to finish it otherwise I'm gonna stare at it for god knows how long so enjoy anyways

Summary: "I'm not a violet dog. I don't know why I bite." [3.8k]

Warnings: canonical violence and language, alcohol, a little bit of backstory, discussion of PTSD like symptoms, a touch of misogyny, canon events but slightly canon divergent timing i think

There's not a lot you can do at the scene of the car bombing. You and Javi talk to local police and take witness statements from frightened neighbors and anybody else willing to come forward with information while Steve takes pictures. From what you can tell, it looks like it was a crude C4 bomb, one of the easiest to make and detonate. All it takes is the right amount of pressure, and boom. A few unfortunate souls died right beside Jorge as they walked past, unaware of the explosion to come. A hit for one quickly turned into a hit for five. 

You're good enough at your job to recognize the fact that Steve and Javi went poking around for information about the person who ratted on you, and then a few hours later, he's dead, not even ten minutes outside of your neighborhood. Medellín is a big place. It could've been a coincidence, but you're almost certain it's not. You really hope you don't have to make good on your promise to return to the US if they go after you again. 

You, Javi, and a handful of other police officers finish with the witnesses and join Steve by the truck. All files and statements will need to go through the proper channels tomorrow, and it's too late to do anything else. You'll start fresh in the morning: follow through on the plan to send out CENTRA SPIKE to see what they can find, monitor movement, and stay vigilant. But tonight, you deserve to get a drink with your two self-appointed bodyguards.

The great thing about working at the Embassy is that everyone touts interagency cooperation and work, but in reality, you rarely want to see each other in the same place. DEA will hang out at one specific bar while CIA will go to another. You don't even want to know where soldiers and higher-ups go once the clock hits six o'clock. Every agency thinks another agency is fucking them over or doing their job wrong. Everybody wants a medal for being in Medellín and fighting the narcos and communists but rarely wants to work together. You like to think your agencies have the upper hand with the three of you being friendly and sharing information without going through official, classified paperwork. It's not the most recommended or legal way to go about it. But, you've been able to pass on valuable information Javi let slip in between rounds and shared cigarettes under the guise of a Confidential Informant.

You were friends with Javi first. He came to Colombia around the same time you did, and you worked the same hours. You did him favors, and he returned them. You learned not to ask each other too many questions and to take what you're given and hope it leads somewhere. You've gotten little victories here and there: guerillas extradited, kidnapping victims recovered safely, witnesses given protection and visas in other countries. It was nice to have someone you could rely on and bounce theories off of when the office was empty, and you two were puffing your way through a pack of cigarettes. The lines got blurry about six months in. It happened fast and without warning, and you swore it was a one-time thing. And then it happened again. And again. And again. Then, it just made sense to keep doing what you were doing instead of going through the cycle of fighting about it and giving each other the cold shoulder, only to end up fucking in his apartment before the end of the day.

Steve, however, got stuck with you. When he became Javi's partner, he was forced to know your name and seek you out in the office when he needed something. At first, he wasn't super keen about the idea of having to rely on CIA for things— something to do with that DEA machismo of not needing anything from anyone— and then he realized how good you are at your job. Once you helped them get an especially important collar, he opened up. He told you about the killing of his last partner and a little bit about his career up until this point. He practically begged you to talk to Connie when she started getting homesick and having doubts, and you came to care for her. Now, you're an inseparable trio (quartet if you count the nights Connie makes her way from the communa clinic and into the bar). 

You think Noonan knew that when she asked Steve and Javi to join the Colombian police on your recon. Something about friendly faces in an unfriendly territory. She was right. You stuck to Javi the entire ambulance ride to the hospital, and they each took turns at your bedside. Even Connie showed up to take care of you during those long few nights in the hospital. You were less willing to accept help once you were discharged, but Steve would knock on your apartment door every night and leave a covered dish on your doormat while Javi bought you groceries. You owe them a lot, though they'll never let you admit it.

Javi buys the first round to celebrate your reinstatement. He gives a brief, flattering toast to your work, and you roll your eyes but clink your glasses together anyway. You avoid talking about theories and leads in the bar, even though you probably could talk about those things in English and get away with it. Everybody already knows you work for the American Embassy. No reason to give anybody anything to report back. Instead, you talk about stupid things like Steve being unable to speak Spanish.

"I can understand a little," he tries to defend himself, and you and Javi share a knowing look. He definitely doesn't understand enough to quantify it as a little. He might pick up every tenth word and know enough commands to dole them out when he's in the field, but that southern accent anglicizes every single syllable he utters. "Alright, y'all can go fuck yourselves." He says at your silence, making you laugh.

"Don't worry about it, Murphy. Couple more years and you'll be running circles around Javi." 

"I don't know about all that, but she's right. You'll get better," Javi takes a sip of his drink. "Eventually." 

Over two more rounds, you talk about things back home, tell stupid stories, and whatever else you could think of. It's nice to see Steve and Javi acting like they kinda like each other outside of work. Lord knows they're at each other's throats most of the time. You enjoy hanging out with them, and even though you know you can handle yourself, you like feeling protected by them. Years of CIA training and undercover work don't mean shit when all people see is a woman alone at night. 

"Alright, I've gotta get home," Steve says as he drinks the rest of his whiskey and puts his cigarette out. He probably should've been home hours ago, but that's none of your business.

"Tell Connie I said hi." You say, and he smiles, nodding and mumbling a quiet "yes, ma'am." He loves her so much, even just the mention of her makes him light up. Your thought from earlier creeps up. A good man. And yet he's here, doing the same shit you and Javi are. It's a little funny how squeamish he still is about things, but you figure that's the last sign of his humanity. God, please let that linger for as long as possible. Javi takes a drag from his cigarette and blows the smoke away from your face.

"Yeah, give her a kiss for me." He says. Before Steve can even open his mouth, you smack the back of Javi's head and groan.

"Ay, Javier," you scold. "Malo, malo, malo." Javi smiles, a rare sight reserved for moments like this, as Steve bids you goodnight again and leaves the bar. The second he's out of sight, you reach over, snatch the cigarette from Javi's hands, and bring it to your lips. 

"Get your own," he grumbles, but there's no heat behind it. You roll your eyes and exhale. 

"Stealing from you is so much cheaper, though," you shrug as you hand it back to him. "You think he got suspicious when we showed up at the same time?" 

"We live down the road from each other and got the call around the same time. Even if he figured it out, he wouldn't say anything. Plus, I think your little attitude at work throws him off." He says, and you raise your eyebrows at him. 

"My little attitude?" You ask. You know he said it just to piss you off, and you hate that it's working. He smirks and you shove his shoulder, stealing the cigarette back from him. "Pinche cabrón." You mumble, and he laughs. He gets a new cigarette from his pack and lights up. A comfortable silence falls over you as you sit there, his hand finding a home on your thigh under the table. 

"So, how're you doing?" Javi asks, seemingly out of nowhere. You shrug and ash your cigarette into the half-full tray in front of you.

"'M fine." You say, and he hums. He takes a long drag of his cigarette and glances around like he's looking for something you can't see. He blows smoke away from you and leans in. 

"So, waking up screaming is fine for you?" He asks. You didn't want to talk about it when you woke up, and you especially don't want to talk about it now. You poke your tongue into your cheek in annoyance. 

"If you thought I wasn't okay, why'd you push for Noonan to clear me?"

"I didn't say I didn't think you're okay."

"Then, drop it." 

"Look, I know you wanna go all in again, but maybe you should take it slow—at least for a little while," he says, and you scoff.

"Give me a fuckin' break, Javi. Did you take it slow when you got shot?" You ask.

"Getting shot and getting kidnapped are two completely different things."

"And yet we both survived," you say, gesturing between you as proof of your survival. "The doctors wouldn't have cleared me to come back if they didn't think I was ready."

"Yeah? How much you pay 'em off for that signature?" He asks. You sigh and bite the inside of your cheek. You're not going to dignify him with a response but you so easily could. "C'mon, just... let your feet get wet again. Everyone knows you've already got the lay of the land, but they don't know that you won't freak the fuck out once you're fully back in the field. I think some of them are waitin' for it," he says. It would explain why everyone's treating you like you're a time bomb. "If you won't do it for yourself, at least do it because I'm asking you." 

"And are you asking me as a coworker or a friend?" You ask. He's staring at you in his weird Javi way: hardened brown eyes softening just enough to bring your guard down. It's not something he learned from years at the Academy or in the field. That's all him. 

"Would it make a difference?" He asks quietly. Answering a question with a question. What a cop.

"Not really." You say, and he sighs. He scrubs a hand down his face and picks up his drink, a cigarette lingering between his fingers. 

"I'm asking as someone who saw what they did to you." He says before taking a big gulp of whiskey. You haven't talked about it. Not about what he saw and knew before finding you or what exactly happened in that room over those few days. You spent hours upon hours repeating the story for doctors, depositions, agency paperwork, and even to the court-appointed psychiatrist who had to screen you before they could even let you back in the building. So, you weren't necessarily gunning for the opportunity to repeat it again when Javi asked you about it. There are only so many sympathetic looks and half-hearted reassurances one person can take.

Even though you relied on him to tether you back to earth during those first few days, he took the brunt of your emotions. You refused to answer his questions and pushed him away. "I'm just trying to help," he told you when he tried to take care of you. "Where was your fucking help when they grabbed me from the street, huh?" You snapped, exhausted and sore and a little out of your mind. It was mean and unfair. You know how hard everyone worked to find you. You know how he blames himself. You know how scared they were to find your body.

When he puts his empty glass down, you look at him and nod. You can't take back what you said, but you can soften it a little. You put your hand over his and trace the contours of his knuckles. They're a little bruised and cracked, but still a part of him. You take a deep breath and rub your thumb against his skin. 

"Okay," you concede quietly. "I'll slow down for a little while, but the second we have good intel, I'm all in again." He lets out a relieved sigh and squeezes your thigh. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. To anyone walking by, you two would look like a couple having a drink after a long day of work before going to your shared home and sleeping it off. You indulge in the thought for a second longer than you meant to before you retract your hand and reach for your drink. 

"You're gettin' soft on me, Peña." You accuse, and he chuckles.

"God forbid I wanna see you make it outta here alive." He says, and you hum as you finish the rest of your drink. His eyes stick to the corner of your lips where a few drops of tequila spilled, his thumb twitching as he stops himself from wiping them away. "What're you doing for the rest of the night?" He asks. It's an opening. An invitation to finish what he started earlier. What happened with Alemán earlier in the day must've wound him up, made him tense and in need of release. Unfortunately for him, there are few things you like more than making him sweat.

"Well, I've got a dinner I need to pack away in the fridge and dishes to clean."

"I can help."

"I don't think you can," you say as you stand and grab your jacket from the back of your chair. "Besides, I'm supposed to be taking it easy. I should probably get some rest before my first actual day back, right?" He rolls his eyes as you throw a couple of bills down on the table for your share of the drinks, and you smirk. "I'll let you walk me home, though." 

"You'll let me?" He asks, but he's already standing and pulling his own jacket over his shoulder. Like clockwork, you think.

"Figured it's the least I could do." You say, and he scoffs, swatting at your ass when he passes behind you.

"Vámonos princesa." 

You get a warm welcome back to the office by immediately getting thrown into the chaos of the CIA. A corkboard with all known names of M-19 and other communist group members looks like a serial killer's wet dream with all the notes and grainy photos that stare you down as you talk about recent developments in the jungle. Honestly, you don't care what a group of kids are doing or planning to do, but everyone else in the CIA seems to think it's the most pressing matter.

Despite what the Agency and Reagan want you to believe, you know communists are not the most dangerous group in Colombia right now. Narcos are practically running the country and ruining countless lives with their rampant murder and exploitation. So even though Lou wants to sink a billion dollars of American taxpayer money into fighting guerillas in the jungle, you have one eye on the situation with the narcos. You're just waiting for the message to come down through the ranks that it's all hands on deck for taking down Escobar. Lou knows about your indifference and exacerbates it every chance he gets.

"Agent, I want you to work with Mil Group on tracking their movement to see if there are any patterns. I want to know where they're going and what they're planning." He says, pointing to you. You give him a look and cross your arms over your chest. You hate working with Mil Group. It's a group of guys with sticks up their asses and, somehow, never see the outside of an office. You catch Javi and Steve walking by through the windows, obviously going somewhere, and you lose whatever patience you have.

"All due respect, Colonel, but Ambassador Noonan took me off of desk duty effective immediately. I think I could be of more help in another area concerning M-19." You say, and he raises his eyebrows at you. You're also not fucking boss, you think.

"I'm sure we can find the time for you to show us how big and bad you are another time, sweetheart, but right now, this is where you're ordered to go." The nickname is abrasive in your ears, and you want to correct him, demanding your title as Agent, but Javi's words ring in your ears. They're waiting for you to freak out so they can send you home. They're waiting for you to blow up on somebody for a small thing. They want you to fail. You sigh and bite your tongue. 

"Yes, sir." You say before making your way to the Jarheads. 

For being off of desk duty, you still feel like you're doing mind-numbing work. All you're doing is plotting points on a map where satellite phones have pinged off of cell towers in an attempt to triangulate where they might be hiding out. Considering how there are barely any cell towers that reach that deep into the jungle, and even if they did, the calls drop after about thirty seconds, you don't have a ton of riveting information to work with. You listen to the recorded, half-legible calls and translate what you can to another agent, but nothing suggests they're planning anything. If they are, they're keeping it off your radar.

After wasting a stupid amount of time doing that, Lou draws up a bigger map and makes you replot all the points down with an estimate of where they might be. You're not CENTRA SPIKE or well-versed in how triangulation even works, and he knows this. It's a fool's errand at best, but he demands it by the end of the day. "So I can give it to the tech analysis guys." He says. You're about one more pointless task away from bashing your head into a wall, but you start on the map anyway. 

You're about halfway through when you hear Murphy calling your name, and you turn to see him and Javi walking through the crowded Mil Group office. 

"You're working with the Army now?" He asks, and you sigh. 

"For the day. Lou is on everyone's ass about this M-19 shit and thinks I'm the best person for the job, apparently," you say. "Please tell me you have something better than this." 

"We just got a sicario's son off the street. Dumbass was distributing in broad daylight in front of a cop." Javi says, and you furrow your eyebrows.

"We both know that's not a good enough reason for a cop to pick up a sicario's kid. What're you holding out on me?"

"Apparently, the cop heard him bragging about rigging a car with a bomb. He said something along the lines of, 'That's what happens to rats,' and then said something about going after La Golondrina next." Steve supplies. So this sicario's kid rigged the bomb to kill the informant who sniffed you out, said he also had a bomb for you, and now he's sitting somewhere in DEA custody? If Escobar's men weren't going after you before, they definitely are now. 

"Do you think he even knows anything? He might just be daddy's errand boy." 

"He asked for a deal," Steve says.

"Wheeling and dealing might not be grounds for extradition, but threatening to blow up a United States CIA agent just might be," Javi says. Something shifts in his eyes just enough for you to catch it, and you know it has to do with the conversation you had at the bar. You shake your head and break eye contact with him to look at Steve.

"Right, but you know how Wysession and Jones are. If it doesn't involve communist groups, they don't even want to look at it."

"The kid told us that some of Escobar's men have been talking with one of the leaders of M-19." Bingo. You throw down your marker, stand from the desk Wysession relegated you to, and all but march into his office with Steve and Javi close behind you. 

"How's that plotting coming along, honey?" Lou asks as he looks up from his paperwork, his face falling at the sight of the two men behind you. Lou might not like you, but he dislikes Javi and Steve more. 

"Agents Peña and Murphy have intel that Pablo is communicating with M-19 guerillas," you say. "That means there could be a joint attack coming, which means we can't keep separating the communist and narcos task forces." 

"Has this information gone through Noonan?" He asks.

"No, sir. We wanted to relay the information to our Agent here first since the intel involves her kidnapping." Steve speaks up, using your actual title, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smirking. 

"Is your intel good?" Lou asks Steve, ignoring you and Javi, and Steve gives him a look. 

"You think we'd be wastin' your time if it wasn't?" 

"Well, then, you better get a move on and go tell her." He says like he doesn't actually like the idea, but he can't think of anything else to say. You, Javi, and Steve quickly leave his office and start the trek to Noonan's office when Steve gets a call on his sat phone. He looks like he's about to ignore it before remembering it could be Connie, and even though she's supposed to be at work, he doesn't take any chances and answers it. You're close enough to him to hear her frantic chattering on the phone and saying something about M-19 and Escobar. The walk to Noonan's office turns into a run, but it doesn't matter. By the time you get there, thousands upon thousands of pages of evidence against Pablo Escobar are burning on the TV as M-19 takes over the Palace of Justice. 

This isn't just a singular agency fight anymore. You doubt it ever was. You know that the Palace of Justice Siege will change everything for better or worse, and you have to be ready for it. Promises made over glasses of scotch be damned.

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[angelsdean]

you probably noticed this but: right after dean finishes telling the CBGB story, he says “john friggin winchester” and takes a shot, and the jacting joices in that moment are… god. i mean the jacting joices are there the entire time ofc but they kinda give *overemphasizing this as a ‘cool john’ story* to me at first, but in that final moment—dean purses his lips, he shifts in his seat, he stares into the distance… he looks bitter. it’s like dean allows himself to feel bitter about this story for just a second, when sam and cas are no longer looking at him ://

(the exact moment i’m talking about is in a gifset you reposted recently)

Yea there's definitely a vibe throughout the whole thing that he's like, telling it as this "funny anecdote" but underneath there's more feelings brewing about this story. Like the story itself comes up because Sam prompts him to tell it, so it's not even Dean's first thought.

Even Cas asking them "You loved your father?" and Dean's response, "With all I had" is like, on the surface you can take that as a positive statement but it's also pretty vague when you really poke at it. It's like, okay and how much love for your father DID you have? It's not the same as a resounding "Yes, of course!" It's more, "I loved him as much as I personally could, given everything." And I do think Dean loved his father. Dean is full of love and he cares even when people might not deserve it. But, we also know he's no stranger to criticizing his father (as he literally says in the next breath that John was not winning any Dad of the year awards) and acknowledging that he was put through shit he did not deserve at way too young of an age.

Even him saying "damn if he wasn't there when we needed him" it's, I mean, he's literally criticized John for being a deadbeat and leaving them and not answering the phone and putting them in danger before so this line immediately rings hollow. And in the context of the scene it makes sense that he'd say this to Cas because Cas is specifically asking them about John as a way of understanding what a father is supposed to do. He prefaces his questions about John with the fact that HE never knew his father and thus has little experience with this whole Claire situation. He's looking for guidance, so it makes sense that Dean would over-embellish a little and want to paint John in a better light for the sake of telling Cas that "yea a good dad is there for their kids." Which we Know John wasn't always there for them. (Side note but all of this ALSO ties into Rowena and Crowley's subplot this episode, how she abandoned HER kid, wasn't there for him, left him vulnerable but is trying to be there now etc etc. Thematically it's an episode abt imperfect parents and their children). And the fact that Sam prompts the story to me says that Dean was probably just going to leave it at that, simply giving his advice to Cas that good dads are always there for their kids.

But anyways, all this to say, I can definitely see Dean feeling bitter about the story at the end there. Especially as the happy little mood drops and he's no longer trying to "give advice" and is reminded of the case, Claire, and how his own experiences actually relate to hers. It's like he finishes telling the story Sam prompted him to tell in the first place and he remembers, "yeah and that was fucked up. and dad might've been there THEN but what about all the other times he left us vulnerable and open to be preyed on. and now Claire is in the hands of this pseudo-guardian who is also putting her in dangerous and vulnerable situations, and and and."