#what did she do........... besides being supposedly a scammer
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logicpng · 21 days ago
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i have yet to actually finish the chapter, this was just that important to get out of my system first
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httpjeon · 5 years ago
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ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ — ᴋɴᴊ (ᴍ.)
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namjoon/reader | angst, fluff, smut | dating service!au
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wordcount: 10.3k
contents: date for hire, unsafe sex, sensitivity kink, size kink, dirty talk, fingering, car foreplay, safeword use, jimin cameo, panty kink (?), grinding, orgasm control, orgasm denial, cunnilingus, riding, wet&messy, creampie, light overstimulation
— synopsis: club ardor holds a special raffle for a free night with a man who will supposedly be the boyfriend of your dreams. you definitely don’t expect to win.
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blog masterlist — series masterlist
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© httpjeon — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any medium is not allowed. translations not allowed.
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The bar was a quiet and calm atmosphere, a Thursday night meaning it was just mostly people having a drink after work. As you wiped down the counters with the rag, you heard your coworker come from the back room calling your name.
"______, have you gotten a chance to check the raffles today yet?" she asked, grabbing a glass beside you to help clean it before you could.
You smiled in thanks, "No I haven't added them to the list yet but a few did pull a ticket today!"
"That's great," she smiled, giddy, "I think it's so exciting."
"A lot of people do seem interested in the service," you nodded, tossing your rag under the counter into the designated bin.
"I mean, how often is it that you get a free night with a man from Club Ardor?" she giggled, bumping you playfully with her hip, "Did you draw? I did."
"I haven't, no," you shrugged, smiling sheepishly.
"Why not?!" she gasped, grabbing another glass to dry off.
"I don't know..." you confessed, "I guess I'm nervous about if I win."
"Come on, it's basically a once in a lifetime opportunity!" she whined, turning around to grab the bowl and clipboard, "I'm signing you up."
You watched as she fished a paper from the bowl and handed it to you.
91294 was your number. She quickly wrote it down along with your name and contact information.
A worker from Club Ardor had shown up a week ago to explain the process of drawing and how to keep track. It was easy enough and there were already numerous spots filled on the pages.
You slipped your number into your pocket and turned around when a customer arrived at the bar to order a drink.
Somehow, you'd completely forgotten about the drawing.
It was your day off, after an especially rowdy weekend of working the bar, you were exhausted. Lounging on the couch, you munched from a bag of chips while watching TV.
From the coffee table, your phone began to buzz incessantly, making you frown. Turning to glare at the device, you saw an unknown number flashing across your screen indicating a call.
Wiping your fingers off on your sweatpants, you picked up your phone and accepted the call.
"Hello?" you sighed, hoping it wasn't a scammer.
"Hello, may I speak with Ms. ______?" a gentle, feminine voice filter through.
"Speaking," you responded, now curious.
"Ah, hello Ms. ______! My name is Joy, I'm calling on behalf of the raffle for Club Ardor," immediately, you were frozen in place, "I'm happy to congratulate that you've won the deluxe date package free of charge!"
"I...I won the..." you sat up on the couch, mouth open in shock as she laughed.
"Yes, you won," she giggled before you heard papers shuffling around.
"S-So...what happens?" you ask, heart beating loudly in your chest.
"Well, the winner is matched with Namjoon, he's the one we usually recommend for beginners," she explained, "You'll have 24 hours with him before it's over. The scene will be completely up to him—"
"Scene?" you repeated dumbly.
She hummed, "It's a term commonly used in BDSM. It's basically a planned encounter, meaning that everything that happens between you two is...essentially a role play, in this case."
"I...do we have to have sex?" you gasped at the mention of BDSM.
Joy chuckled on the line like she'd heard such a question numerous times, making your cheeks flush, "Absolutely not. You can if that is something you and he decide you want to do. If not, there is no pressure to do anything beyond talking. There is a safeword that the two of you can use if anything happens that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe."
"Okay..." you breathed in relief, "So...So what now?"
"Well, I'm going to ask you to download an app called Club Ardor. It will ask you for a password and it's the same as you raffle number. This will allow Namjoon and you to communicate safely without your numbers being revealed to the other."
"Oh...wow," you were impressed to say the least, "Alright, I'll do that. Thank you."
"If you have any questions of concerns feel free to call back!" she bid you farewell and you hung up.
After the call, you rushed to the App Store to download the app.
Just as you were told, the first screen that popped up was a code box and nothing held. You cursed, realizing you had no clue what the number on your ticket was.
Standing up, you rushed to your bedroom to find your laundry basket. Groaning, you began to dig through to collect all the pairs of your work pants that you had worn that week. You sat on the floor and began to search through the pockets of every pair.
"Ah-ha!" you cried as you pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.
You stumbled with how fast you stood up in an attempt to get back to your phone. You completely ignored the mess left behind by your rummaging and went back to sit on the couch.
Picking up your phone, you typed the number on the paper in and pressed enter. A small loading screen popped up before a profile to fill out filled your screen.
It was simple, asking height, weight, and basic characteristics.
After filling it out, you were brought to a simple blank page akin to that of an empty text message thread.
Unsure of what to do, you sat and clicked around for a minute to see if you were missing anything but nothing new happened so you locked your phone. Placing it to the side, you sighed as the nerves finally began to fade.
"I wonder..." you unlocked your phone and clicked on safari.
You typed in club ardor in the search and got a website of the same name.
"Welcome to Club Ardor, an exclusive dating service dedicated to living out every woman's fantasy," is what it read.
You scrolled past the information about how they were formed and where they were located. There was a box that was used to presumably register online for a date instead of calling to schedule. You also noticed there seemed to be a male-exclusive Club Ardor that operated separately from the one you were on.
Finally, you found what you were looking for: the dates profiles.
"Club Ardor's Dates are hand picked into the most desirable archetypes," you clicked next and were immediately brought to the profile of 'Namjoon — The Boyfriend Type.'
To your dismay, there was no picture of him — only basic information such as his height, weight, and age. You were surprised to notice the winning raffle number was the date of his birthday.
'Namjoon is most suitable for beginners. He offers an authentic Boyfriend Experience unlike any other you will experience.'
Beneath that was a small notice; “Namjoon’s service comes in a Deluxe Package and Standard Package. For 24 and 12 hours of date-time respectively!” 
Before you could click further to see the other men, you phone made an unfamiliar dinging noise before a notification came in indicating a new message on the Club Ardor app.
As you opened the app, your heart began to race. A new text thread became available from Namjoon.
"Hello, nice to meet you!" his message said.
You quickly replied back with a greeting of your own. It was indicated as 'read' immediately before he started typing.
"Our date is scheduled for Saturday afternoon," he said, "I'll let you know the details as soon as I have them. Do you have any questions?"
You read the message a few times, trying to think if you had anything to ask. Your fingers began typing before you realized what you were doing, "You plan the date by yourself?"
"Yes," he replied, "Every experience of my client is unique so no two women have the same date with me 😁! I will ask you questions to make sure that everything is to your liking so I don't plan something you may end up hating lol."
You smiled, instantly charmed by his personality as you replied, "Alright! I look forward to it 😇!"
Saturday was a week away and you had no idea how you were going to live through the anticipation. It'd been so long since you'd been on a date and now you're about to go on one that would supposedly be your dream date with your dream boyfriend.
Tuesday morning rolled around and you woke up to a couple messages from Namjoon.
ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟹:𝟷𝟾ᴀᴍ]  ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪᴛ's ʟᴀᴛᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇʟʏ ᴀsʟᴇᴇᴘ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋ?  ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟹:𝟺𝟿ᴀᴍ]  ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ᴏʀ ᴜᴘsᴄᴀʟᴇ?  ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟽:𝟷𝟻ᴀᴍ]  ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ 😜!
The messages made you smile and you quickly typed up your response before getting out of bed, "I work at a bar and I probably prefer casual...I only won this date, remember? I'm not used to luxury so...and good morning!"
You watched for a second, locking it after a moment when he didn't read it.
"No way, you won?!" your coworker, Yongsun shrieked before covering her mouth when a customer glared her way, "You won the date?"
"Yeah..." you chuckled, sneakily unlocking your phone to show her the Club Ardor app with Namjoon's name on the preview to the text thread.
"Oh my god!" she squealed, grabbing your arm excitedly, "This is crazy! Oh my god, you're going to have to tell me everything."
"Nothing's really happened," you chuckled, "He's just asked a little about me and said he's making the best date he can for me."
"He already sounds like a dream..." she sighed, lashes fluttering.
"Let's get back to work," you chuckled, pocketing your phone.
With your shift over, your feet were killing you and you nearly collapsed before you could get the door closed. Your phone gave a now familiar ding and you pulled it out to see a message from Namjoon.
ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟷:𝟻𝟽ᴘᴍ] 
ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ?
You texted back letting him know your shift just ended and you were going to be heading home. He read it immediately and began to type.
ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟷:𝟻𝟽ᴘᴍ]  ʟᴀᴛᴇ sʜɪғᴛ, ʜᴜʜ...ʙᴇ sᴀғᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ.
You smiled, enjoying the way your heart fluttered in your chest at his words. He definitely had the 'boyfriend' role down to a science. Packing your things up, you bid goodbye to Yongsun and made the trek back home.
As soon as your door was shut and locked behind you, you pulled out your phone to text Namjoon.
ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟷𝟿ᴀᴍ]  ɪ'ᴍ ɢʟᴀᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ʜᴏᴍᴇ sᴀғᴇʟʏ. ɪᴛ's ʟᴀᴛᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ. ɢᴇᴛ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇsᴛ.
You bid him goodnight, and held your hand to your chest. He was dreamy. You wondered what he looked like.
His personality only gave you so much and you wished you could put a face to the man who seemed to increasingly make you swoon.
After getting ready for bed, you sat down and combed your freshly washed hair before pulling your phone out of the mess of blankets you'd thrown it into.
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟷ᴀᴍ] 
ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴀsᴋ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ?
ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟷ᴀᴍ] 
sᴜʀᴇ, ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ.
The pet name immediately had you blushing and you bit back a smile.
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟸ᴀᴍ] 
ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ?
He read the message and you waited to see if there was a response. When he didn't begin typing, you deflated slightly and sighed — taking it as a no.
As you tossed your phone to the side, you stood up to go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Once finished, you crawled back into bed and picked up your phone.
You paused when you saw three minutes ago Namjoon had sent you a picture.
When you opened it, you felt like all the air had been punched out of your lungs.
He had blonde hair that was pushed back off of his forehead and thick, pretty lips. You could see the faintest hint of dimples on the flawless skin of his cheeks.
He was probably the most good looking mad you'd laid your eyes on.
As you stared at his picture, another text from him came in.
ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟽ᴀᴍ] 
ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ɴᴇʀᴠᴏᴜs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀɪɴɢ, sᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛ.
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟽ᴀᴍ]
sᴏʀʀʏ...ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴜʀᴘʀɪsᴇᴅ. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ...ᴠᴇʀʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ.
ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟾ᴀᴍ] 
ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ sʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ.
You frowned, feeling self-conscious as you had to follow up a picture of your own face after seeing his incredibly attractive self.
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟿ᴀᴍ] 
ɪ'ʟʟ sᴇɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ. 
ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟿ᴀᴍ]  ᴋᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴇᴅɢᴇ. ɪ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴀᴍᴇ, ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ. ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪᴛ.
The teasing tone and pet name had you flushing, unable to respond as you locked your phone and plugged it in for the night.
When you woke up, you had a text from Namjoon greeting you good morning once more. It brought a smile to your face and you texted him good morning back before once again leaving to get ready.
As soon as you got to work, you showed Yongsun the picture of Namjoon. You were sure she nearly had a stroke as she covered her mouth to scream gleefully before gushing about how good looking he was.
"Man, Club Ardor really...really did choose well, huh?" she hummed, zooming in on his face, "Look at his lips, man, if you don't get at least one kiss from him I will make your life hell."
"You trying to live vicariously through me?" you giggled at her dramatic nature.
"I can't any other way! I'm too poor to snag a date with one of them," she pouted, putting her work apron on with a sigh, "It must be nice to be rich."
"He keeps calling me pet names, it's honestly..." you quickly tied your hair up as you spoke, "He really feels like a boyfriend, it's crazy."
"Club Ardor lives up to its reputation," Yongsun nodded, "I thought it was only a 24-hour thing, how come you've got him for a week in advance?"
You shrugged, putting your phone on silent before pocketing it, "When I won, the lady said it was a special deluxe package. I didn't think to ask. Maybe I'll ask Namjoon later."
"I wonder how many women end up falling for them by accident," she mumbled, opening the staff door leading to the bar for you, "They must have broken numerous hearts if everyone is as authentic as Namjoon seems..."
"I guess that's the price you pay for a fake date with the man of your dreams," you replied, sighing, "They ruin you for anyone else."
Getting home, you noticed you didn't have any messages at all from Namjoon. It was odd but you didn't think anything of it. Heading to the bathroom, you touched up your makeup and fixed your hair before taking several selfies until you found a suitable one.
Taking a deep breath, you quickly sent it to Namjoon with an attaching message reading "as promised!"
When you didn't receive a reply, you decided to just head to bed.
Waking up that morning, you quickly realized it was going to be a shitty day. Your alarm on your phone failed to go off properly — you must have forgotten to turn it on the night before. It led you into getting ready as quickly as you could to get to work on time.
You arrived at the last minute, Yongsun having arrived earlier than you so you didn't have a chance to talk to her.
When your lunch break rolled around, you had the first moment to check your phone. Opening the text thread with Namjoon, you noticed he had seen your picture shortly after you sent it the night before but hadn't responded.
It made you feel bad, your already low mood easily receiving another hit from the bad day.
Putting it on silent once more, you put it in your pocket and returned to work.
By the time you got home, you were beyond drained. Your mood was in the toilet, your feet hurt, and you had barely gotten any tips.
You took a shower, hoping to relax the tense, sore muscles in your back. The hot water and soothing atmosphere helped to clear your mind.
By the time you got out, you were feeling a little better and decided to curl up on the couch for the night in comfortable pajamas and fuzzy socks. Covering yourself with your favorite throw blanket, you turned the TV on and let yourself settle down.
Before long, you were dozing off. You had gotten several episodes into a drama and decided to call it quits once the current turned off. In an effort to keep yourself awake, you sat up and grabbed your phone off of the coffee table.
When you unlocked it, you were surprised to see several text messages from Namjoon.
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟷𝟾ᴀᴍ] 
ʜᴇʏ sᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, sᴏʀʀʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ᴀʙsᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʜᴏᴡ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? 
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟸𝟸ᴀᴍ] 
ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴜᴘsᴇᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ, ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ɢʜᴏsᴛ ʏᴏᴜ. 
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟸𝟾ᴀᴍ]  ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ʜᴏᴍᴇ sᴀғᴇʟʏ.
You couldn't help but smile as you unlocked the phone and typed out your reply.
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟸ᴀᴍ] 
ɪᴛ's ᴏᴋᴀʏ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. 
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟸ᴀᴍ]  ɪs sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ?
You were surprised both by his quick response and ability to tell that something was wrong.
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟹ᴀᴍ] 
ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀ ʙᴀᴅ ᴅᴀʏ. ɪs ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴏᴋᴀʏ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ? 
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟺ᴀᴍ] 
ʏᴇᴀʜ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪs ғɪɴᴇ. ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴜsʏ sᴜᴅᴅᴇɴʟʏ! 
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟺ᴀᴍ]  ᴏʜ? ᴡᴀs ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄʟɪᴇɴᴛ?
You were quite curious about the aspect of his job. It was such an unknown world to you that it actually made you want to know more about what happens behind the scenes.
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟻ᴀᴍ] 
ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ, ɴᴏ. ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʙɪɢ ᴇxᴀᴍ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴄʟᴀss. ɪᴛ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ. 
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟻ᴀᴍ] 
ᴄʟᴀss? ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ sᴛᴜᴅᴇɴᴛ?! 
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟻ᴀᴍ]  ʏᴇᴀʜ! ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ʙɪᴏʟᴏɢʏ ᴍᴀᴊᴏʀ ᴀᴛ sɴᴜ.
You were stunned. SNU was a tough university to get into, and the fact Namjoon had — he had to be smart. You were confused why a man like that was a date-for-hire. It felt too invasive to ask so you simply replied with an impressed 'that's amazing'.
He immediately began typing again and you waited just a second until the message popped up.
"I've got to go, something with work came up. I just want to say that I enjoyed your picture, you're absolutely beautiful and I can't wait to see your beauty in person. Sleep nice, sweetheart."
For the first time that day, you felt happy.
Friday morning, you were a mess of nerves. You still had work and you were thankful that it would be able to take your mind off of it.
As you worked, you felt your phone buzz and you heart raced in response. You hoped it was Namjoon.
It wasn't until you lunch break that you were able to open it.
He had asked how you were feeling which you replied with an honest 'nervous'.
Before your break ended, you got a sweet 'don't be nervous, baby. It'll be fun, I promise!'
Once you were home, you found yourself opening the text thread with Namjoon to greet him. He didn't respond quickly so you jumped in the shower to wash off the filth that had started to cling to you. You'd gotten off earlier than usual but there had still been the loud, smoking, drunk patrons that frequented on weekends. The smell of cigarettes stunk up your hair so you eagerly washed it, enjoying the scent of your lavender shampoo.
You stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around your body as you used another to scrunch your hair dry.
Taking a seat on your bed, you noticed the screen lit up with a notification.
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟶:𝟷𝟻ᴘᴍ] 
ʜᴇʏ ʙᴀʙʏ, ɪ'ᴍ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅʀᴇss ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ. ᴡᴇᴀʀ sʜᴏᴇs ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪɴ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ. 
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟶:𝟷𝟼ᴘᴍ] 
ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ! ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀ sᴋɪʀᴛ ʙᴇ ᴏᴋᴀʏ? 
ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟶:𝟷𝟼ᴘᴍ] 
ᴛʜᴀᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ғɪɴᴇ, ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ. ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ! 
ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟶:𝟷𝟽ᴘᴍ] 
ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɪᴛ!
You locked your phone and put it on to charge for the night after bidding him goodnight. Sighing, you stood up and made your way to the closet. Luckily you had an outfit idea in mind and you stood up to fish it out.
Feeling giddy, you hung it up on the hook on the back of your door and picked out a pair of flats. You'd had them for a year, they were still in excellent shape but they'd been worn enough to be more than comfortable.
Then you finally laid down in bed, curling up with your blankets around you.
You woke up at 11 — your alarm pulling you from a deep sleep. Sitting up, you stretched and let out a groan as you joints popped. You tossed your feet onto the floor and stood up, making your way to the bathroom.
When you came out, you spotted the outfit today's date on the door of your closet and smiled. Your heart fluttered in your chest and you eagerly picked up your phone, unlocking it when you saw a message from Namjoon.
Your fingers trembled as you read that it was a simple address.
"Meet me here at 12:30...we're having lunch!"
You decided to get dressed and use the hour you had to do your hair and makeup. When you were ready, you let out a slow exhale to steady your nerves as you slid your shoes on and headed out.
It was wonderful weather and the light breeze felt nice on your bare legs. The skirt made you feel cute and encouraged you to hold your head high.
The address led you to a small, family owned restaurant. You opened the door, taking a look around. It had a rustic vibe and there were a couple people scattered around. You inhaled, the smell of cooking food making your stomach growl.
Realizing that Namjoon wasn't at any of the tables, you decided to choose a booth that was located in a quiet corner.
A waiter stopped to deliver a menu to you before asking if you wanted a drink. After ordering a coke, he disappeared and you opened the menu.
You checked the time, frowning when you realizing it was 10 past the time he'd told you. The waiter placed your drink down and you thanked him.
"Do you want to order anything?" he asked, holding a small pad and pen.
"Um no...not yet, I'm waiting for someone," you replied sheepishly. He nodded and put the pad away before he disappeared again.
As you resumed looking at the menu, eyeing the burger options, someone dropped down into the booth seat across from you. You jumped, head jerking up to meet the brilliant, dimpled smile of Namjoon.
"Hi," he greeted, his voice smooth and rich. It made your heart flutter and your cheeks burn. He was gorgeous, deep dimples and pretty brown eyes that sparkled. His hair was honey blonde but was hanging in his eyes, giving him a boyish appearance.
"H-Hi..." you breathed, looking away when you couldn't hold his stare any longer.
"Cute..." you heard him chuckle before he leaned back in the booth, "Sorry I'm late...work held me for a bit longer than I anticipated."
"I-It's fine," you mumbled, the two of you being interrupted by the waiter placing another menu down for Namjoon and asking him for his drink order.
"Can I get a coffee black," he asked, smiling before looking down at the menu, "Got any clue what you want?"
"I kind of want a burger..." you mumbled, eyeing the different options.
"You read my mind," he chuckled, sending heat to your cheeks once again, "The burgers here are to die for."
"You come here often?" you asked, raising a brow when he nodded.
"Usually after class, it's on the way to my apartment so..." he shrugged.
"Here you go, sir," the waiter said, placing the cup of steaming coffee down in front of Namjoon, "Do you two know what you want?"
After the two of you ordered, you were left alone. Namjoon looked effortless at ease, a small smirk playing on his lips as he looked at you.
"You look cute," he complimented, smiling gleefully when you became flustered, "Do I make you nervous?"
"N-Not nervous..." you mumbled, biting your lip, "It's just..strange, I guess."
He nodded, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hand thoughtfully, "I get it. There's build up to it and then when it finally happens it sort feels unreal."
"Yeah," you chuckled, lifting your glass to your lips to take a sip from the straw, "I was meaning to ask you...er," you paused before you voiced the question, "Are you okay with...talking about your...job?"
He chuckled, "Ask away."
"How come you're going to a school like SNU...but working this job?" you asked, "I mean there's nothing wrong with a date-for-hire job but like..."
"I get it," he nodded, sitting back to sip his coffee, "To be honest, I just needed a way to pay my way through. I didn't exactly...expect to pass the entrance exam, it was just a spur of the moment decision, and then when I did...I realized I had absolutely no way to pay for it," he sighed, a smile playing on his lips, "So I was looking around and...the opportunity to work for Club Ardor came up so I took it."
"That's interesting..." you hummed, stirring your drink with the straw, "You've got to be pretty smart to pass the exam without even expecting to."
He chuckled, dropping his head. You could see his ears turn pink and you realized he was shy, "I just...do my best," he cleared his throat and looked back up at you, "So you work at a bar?"
"Unfortunately," you huffed.
"You don't like it?" he asked.
"Not really," was your reply, making him frown, "Kills my feet and it's usually shit pay and tips. I'd quit and get a new job if I could but I can't risk losing my apartment and stuff..."
"I understand," he said and looked like he was going to say something else but the waiter interrupted with the plates of food.
The two of you fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence as you began eating. You hummed at the delicious taste, making Namjoon smile.
"Good right?" he chuckled when you nodded enthusiastically, taking another bite.
After you both had finished your burgers, he ordered a piece of chocolate mousse cake to share. It was wonderfully easy to fall into Namjoon's rhythm, you realized. He was calm, easy to talk to, and witty — making you laugh by barely doing anything.
You were comfortable with him.
However, there was a heavy feeling deep in the back of your mind as you remembered that this wasn't real. It was his job to make you have fun — he was paid to make you feel nice.
You were surprised to find that the two of you had been there for a while — it was nearing four o'clock. He seemed a bit surprised as well as he checked the watch on his wrist. You couldn't help but notice how expensive it looked.
"I think we should get going, our next destination awaits," he stood up, slapping down a couple bills from his wallet as a tip.
"There's more?" you asked, taking his hand when he offered it to you.
He chuckled, lacing your fingers together as he nodded, "Of course, wouldn't it be disappointing if this is all we did? A whole 24 hours to kill...man, I would not be worth my salt."
"I-I guess..." you chuckled, acutely aware of the way his hand felt in yours, "Where are we going though?"
"Ah...you're not getting information out of me that easily," he teased, opening the door for you to let you out first, "It's a surprise!"
"What if I hate surprised?" you asked, teasingly raising a brow.
"Well..." he stopped in front of a sleek black car and smiled, "I guess you better learn to love them pretty fast."
He didn't let you answer before he was opening the passenger car door and ushering you inside. Once he was sure you were comfortable, he shut the door with a slam and jogged around the front to slide into the driver's seat.
As he began driving, he turned on the radio and let a comfortable silent settle in. You took a moment to take him in; his long, pretty fingers gripping the wheel and the way his jeans hugged his thick thighs. As he stared ahead at the road, you could make out the sharp of his jawline and how his lips glistened in the sunlight after he dug his tongue across them.
He was dreamy to say the least.
"You okay?" he asked, smiling that pretty smile, "Do you want to AC on?"
"No, I'm okay," you replied, looking away at almost being caught.
However, you were quickly forced to look back at him when you felt his hand slide over yours on the middle console until you let him lace your fingers together.
"We're heading out of Seoul," he said, "We should be at our destination by 7."
"Is there something interesting going on out of Seoul?" you asked, making him shake his head.
"Interesting for other people, no. Interesting for us...very much so," he squeezed your hand, bring it up to his lips to press a kiss against the skin.
Your heart hammered loudly in your chest as his lips lingered.
He was good at his job, you'd give him that.
The time passed with the two of you talking; he introduced you to his favorite music and made you laugh as his sang along off-key. He even took a bit to passionately explain a recent portion of his course in college to you — even though you barely understood anything. He looked so cute with bright eyes as he excitedly spewed things off from memory.
It was nice. It was comfortable.
His hand in yours felt nice.
The sun was just beginning to set, casting a vibrant orange glow on the world around you when the two of you suddenly pulled into a side road. The pavement gradually turned to gravel before it was just dirt.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were bringing me out here to murder me," you joked as you watched the heavily lined trees pass.
Namjoon laughed wholeheartedly from beside you, "Oh darn, you caught on."
His sarcasm made you smile, your eyes focused on the road in front of you. After several minutes, the trees finally vanished Namjoon stopped the car.
You stepped out of the car when he opened the door for you, grinning.
Looking around, you realized you were in a huge grass field. There wasn't anything in sight as far as you could see. It was a vibrant green, almost glowing in the orange light.
"What...what's here?" you asked, looking to him as he leaned back against the hood of his car.
"Just wait, baby, come here," you flushed at the pet name and let him pull you into his chest.
His arms wrapped around your waist and you could feel his breath fanning over your ear. He smelled incredible, a musky — almost spicy scent of his cologne making your eyes flutter.
You relaxed, your back to his chest as you both stared out over the seemingly endless field.
As the minutes ticked by, the sun began to sink lower and the light diminished further. You were eager to know what exactly you were waiting for.
Suddenly Namjoon hummed, "There they are..."
Your eyes moved from his face back to the field and you couldn't help but gasp at what you saw.
The field was lighting up with seemingly millions of little lights. You stepped forward, eyes wide as you watched the lights dance around endlessly as the field vibrantly came to life.
"This is..." you gaped for a second before looking back at Namjoon, "Incredible!"
"I heard about this place a couple months ago," he explained, pushing himself off the hood of his car, "A friend of mine took his kids out here and it sounded so magical I wanted to come. I didn't have the opportunity to until now."
"I'm so glad you decided to take me here," you whispered, beginning to make your way into the field.
The grass was thigh-high, clearly unmaintained but you didn't mind. The fireflies surrounded you, landing on your body and flickering their little lights brightly.
"I'm glad I took you here too..." he said, making you jump as he was suddenly behind you.
As you looked up at him, you could see the way the fireflies lights reflected off the deep pools of brown in his eyes. He looked ethereal, smiling down at you as if it were just the two of you in the world.
He turned you around, wrapping his arm around your waist and reaching up to cup your cheek. Your breathing stuttered as he leaned down just slightly — hinting at what he wanted.
"Can I kiss you, ______?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper.
"Y-Yeah...I'd like that..." you replied.
He smiled just slightly before his lips descended down upon yours. They were soft and as his thumb softly stroked your cheek, you returned the kiss. Your hands found purchase on his chest and you stood on your tip toes to deepen the kiss. He eagerly reciprocated, cupping the back of your head to tangle his fingers in your hair as his lips moved effortlessly against your own.
When you pulled away, you were both panting and he wore a small smirk.
"Ready to head back?" he asked, voice a few octaves deeper.
A shiver went down your spine when you felt his way his hands lingered on your body. You nodded and let him take your hand to lead you back to the car.
The atmosphere between the two of you changed drastically from before. It was tense and heated.
You could feel his gaze shifting to you every few minutes, lingering in a way that had your body heating up. With every second that passed, the more you thought about that kiss.
He was a good kisser. You wondered what else those lips could do. He had pretty hands. You wanted them on your body — wanted to feel his touch on your skin.
It seemed Namjoon shared the same idea as his hand suddenly found purchase on your thigh — bare from the skirt you wore. Goosebumps rose along your skin in response.
His fingers inched towards the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. You let your thighs separate for his wandering touch and you heard him release a breathy exhale.
"Tell me if you want me to touch you," he said, making you lick your lips, "I'll only do it if you say yes."
"Pl-Please touch me, Namjoon," you breathed shamelessly eyes fluttering when his hand forced your legs further apart so he could cup your clothed core.
"The safeword is firefly," he growled, the sound only dampening your panties. Your breathing hastened at the soft, teasing touch of his fingers, "Say it."
"Th-The safeword...is firefly," you breathed, letting your head fall back against the headrest as you arched you hips further into his touch.
"Good girl," he grinned, never taking his eyes off the road.
His fingers were skilled and precise, forcing the damp fabric between your folds to find your clit. You shuddered at the rough friction against your hardening bud, biting your lip to hold back from crying out. He let out a breathy chuckle, clearly enjoying teasing you.
You were getting wetter with every second that passed, making your panties stick to you almost uncomfortably.
"Can you take your panties off for me, babygirl?" he asked, taking his eyes off the road to take a look at you as you reached under your skirt. Hooking your thumbs beneath the band of your panties, you tugged them down. You pulled your knees up to your chest to tug them off of your feet.
Before you could toss them away, Namjoon grabbed them and sat up to shove them into his pocket before his hand found purchase on your thigh again.
"Spread your legs wide, baby," he mumbled, licking his lips as you did as you were told.
With your pussy completely exposed, he could see the way your wetness glistened in the passing light from outside. He let out a breathy groan when his digits found their way between your folds, spreading them apart to make you shiver as the AC breezed over your sensitive slit.
You let your mouth fall open with a small whine when he slid his middle finger into your entrance, the long digit easily finding your sweet spot — which he immediately began to abuse. When you looked over to him, you could see he wore a smirk on his lips and it made your walls flutter around him.
He hummed, pulling the digit out to circle your swollen clit — your own arousal allowing him to make effortlessly quick circles on the bud until you reached down to grab his wrist.
He chuckled, letting you slow him, "Sensitive, baby?"
"Mhm..." you sighed, not releasing your hold on him as he moved to sink two fingers into your cunt, "Feels good..." you whispered.
"Yeah?" he chuckled, licking his lips as he slowly pumped his fingers into your wet pussy, the noises almost obscene in the otherwise quiet car, "So tight, baby."
You didn't offer a response, merely grinding your hips down to get him to touch that spot again. When he did, you jolted and moaned. Namjoon hummed, his cock painfully hard in his jeans. He wanted to relieve the ache but both hands were too occupied.
"Hey baby?" he asked, smiling at your dazed 'hm?', "Can you unbutton my jeans for me?"
As you reached over, fingers ghosting over his hardness through the material of his jeans, he added a third finger. It made you paused, instinctively gripping his cock. He groaned, biting his lip at the feeling until you finally pulled the button out of the loop and pulled the zipper down.
"Fuck, that's better..." he mumbled to himself, angling his fingers in your hole upwards to press that spot again — enjoying the way it made you tremble.
He paused in surprised when your hand dove beneath his jeans to cup his cock through the cotton of his boxers, "You're...big..." The comment had him grinning, ego boosted, "You know how to use it, right?"
"Do you think I don't, babygirl?" he growled, pulling his fingers from your cunt to lightly slap your clit. You jolted and covered your mouth with your hand to quiet the shriek you let out in surprise at the sting.
You hummed, squeezing his cock, "I hope you do but...sometimes guys have big cocks that they just can't use."
You felt a rush of excitement as you saw his tongue poke the inside of his cheek angrily, clearly not happy with your challenge.
"You'll see how well I can use this cock soon, baby," his voice was low and dark, "Until then, sit back and let me play with your little cunt, huh? I don't wanna hear anything but moaning from that pretty mouth, got it?"
You didn't answer, resulting in a sharp slap to your sensitive bud again.
"Answer me," he growled, stroking his fingers over your folds to sooth the sting when you voice your understanding.
It seemed like everything turned into a daze around you. You could only focus on the incredible feeling of his hands touching your cunt. Every time it seemed that you were close to release, he'd back off and ease you away from orgasm.
You were growing frustrated, nearing tears when the car came to a sudden stop. Blinking yourself out of the daze, you looked around to find you had pulled into a small parking garage.
You sat up in the seat, pulling your thighs together and shivered when you felt how wet you were. Namjoon opened your door and helped you out, slamming it before you heard it automatically lock — deafening in the garage. He took your hand and tugged you in the direction of the doors.
There was a red carpet leading up the two darkened glass doors which Namjoon easily opened with a slide of a card in the reader that sat on the wall. When you stepped inside, you were stunned to see that it was a breathtaking, extravagant sitting room.
It was furnished mostly white with a couch and chairs, even a TV and table. There was a door on the other side that also appeared to be locked with a card reader.
"This is restricted to the guys and clients only," he explained, leading you over to an elevator. He pressed the button to call it and the two of you fell silent.
You squeezed your thighs together at the lingering arousal, only increasing when you felt his hand trail beneath the back of your skirt the graze over your folds. The elevator dinged and slid open, the two of you stepping inside. Namjoon pressed a button and the elevator doors closed.
He suddenly turned around, pinning you against the wall of the elevator. The metal railing pressed against your spine but you paid it no mind because his lips were quickly pressed against yours. You sighed into the kiss, gripping his shirt tightly in your hands to pull him closer to you. His body was warm and firm, hands gripping your hips to grind his still hard length against you with a groan.
The elevator dinged with the arrival to the correct floor, his lips lingered on yours for a second before the doors began to open. Before either of you could step off, you were greeted by another man who stood with his hands shoved in his pockets.
"What're you doing, Jimin?" Namjoon asked, sounding surprised as he stepped aside to let the other on.
"I was going to go out but now I'm stuck in an elevator with you for another minute," the new man mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back.
You took a moment to look him over, black hair pushed back messily to reveal strong brows and sharp eyes. The man oozed intimidation and you felt your heart speed up. Namjoon seemed unaffected and you assumed it was because he'd been around the stranger, Jimin, a lot.
The elevator dinged once again and opened up. Jimin gave Namjoon a short wave when you both stepped out before he reached over and pressed a button. You caught sight of a smirk on his full lips before the doors closed.
You let out a sigh, letting Namjoon take your hand once again.
"Sorry about that," he chuckled, "We don't usually run into each other like that."
"He's another...date?" you asked as he led you down a hallway. There were several doors that you passed but he was taking you to the very end of the hall it seemed.
"Yeah, that's Jimin," he responded.
"He was...scary," you mumbled, making him laugh.
"A couple of the guys are pretty intimidating," he said, "A lot of girls are into that type though."
"I see..." you said, the run in with another date only seemed to pull you out of the daze you'd gotten into with him. It reminded you that you were only part of his job, and that thought made your chest ache. You felt almost pathetic and you realized how lonely you would feel after you left him.
"Again, sorry," he sighed, seemingly realizing you had been pulled from the scene. He stopped in front of a door at the very end of the hallway, pulling out the card he used for entry and slid it into the door like a hotel keycard. The red light turned green and he pushed the door open.
"It's okay..." you assured, smiling politely when he let you walk in first.
He flicked the light on and you paused to look around. It was a homely, casually decorated room. There was a TV and a couch connected to a kitchen. You could see through a doorway across the room that it was a bedroom. The carpet was soft and warm beneath your feet when you took your shoes off.
"This is our room for the night," he smiled, placing his keys and wallet into a drawer next to the door, which automatically locked with a keycode, "I chose it just for you."
"There are other rooms to choose from?" you asked, wandering further into the living room to take a seat on the couch.
"Yeah, this whole floor is actually mine," he said, kicking his own shoes off, "We all have our own floor. Each room is furnished and styled differently according to client and scene."
"Interesting," you sighed, letting yourself relax on the couch as Namjoon wandered into the kitchen.
You watched him open the fridge and pull out a couple bottles of coke. He placed it down on the coffee table in front of you before he sat down as well.
"Thanks," you smiled as he put his arm around your shoulders and grabbed the remote, turning the TV on.
After a moment of him channel surfing, you realized you needed to pee. Excusing yourself, you followed his directions into the bedroom to the bathroom.
The bedroom was designed just as homely as the living room, with a bed of several fluffy pillows and a bedspread that looked soft. There was a dresser and bedside tables as well. It sort of looked like a bedroom a couple would share.
Shaking that thought from your head, you stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.
Namjoon sat on the couch and sighed when he heard the bathroom door close. He could tell you felt strange about everything now and he cursed Jimin's appearance.
The only way the scenes worked was if he was able to make his client feel like their relationship was real and genuine. Usually he would let his client figure her own way around and he'd move on with his job but for some reason he really wanted to see you lost in everything with him.
You weren't familiar with this life whereas his clientele consisted of women who regularly used dating services. The way everything was so new to you was endearing and he wanted you to have a good time.
He broke out of his thoughts when you sheepishly called his name from the doorway of the bedroom.
"What is it, baby?" he asked, glancing at the way you gripped the edge of your skirt.
"Y-You still have my um..." a smile bloomed across his face as you inched closer to him until you were standing in front of him.
"Your what?" he asked, cocking his head to the side in faux confusion.
"M-My panties," you grumbled, holding your hand out, "Give them back, it feels weird not wearing any."
"I think I prefer you without them," he grinned, sitting forward.
Your breathing stuttered when his hands gripped your thighs, urging you forward until your standing between his spread knees. His fingers found the edge of your blouse, pulling it out of the band of your skirt. Your hands naturally found purchase on his hair as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss against the soft skin of your stomach.
His hair was soft and he sighed when you tugged it as his lips ghosted over a sensitive spot. Pulling back, he reached up to undo the first button of your shirt, pausing to give you a chance to stop him. When you didn't, he continued to undo the buttons until it was hanging open. He licked his lips as he sat back to admire you, your breasts looking wonderful in the pretty bralette he knew you wore just for him. It wasn't lost on him that it matched your panties.
His hands traveled up your body until he cupped your breasts through the bra, making you sigh and arch your back for him. He pushed the bottom up until your breasts came into view and he felt his cock throb in his jeans at the sight of your perked nipples.
Your cheeks burned hot as he shamelessly drank in the sight of your bare breasts. You quickly stripped the article off, leaving you in your skirt alone.
He released a shaky breath and grabbed your hips, urging you forward until you fell into his lap. Cupping the back of your head, he brought you down for a heated kiss. You could feel his length, so hard, beneath you and you reached down to unbutton his jeans once again. This time, however, you pulled his cock free. You could see precum glistening on the tip and as you gave him a quick squeeze, you watched it drip down the head to meet your hand.
He pulled you down so you were suddenly sitting on his cock, the shaft sliding between your wet folds. He groaned, head falling back as you immediately began to grind against him, your clit sliding along the sensitive underside of him.
"You're so wet..." he breathed as he felt you dripping down his cock, "Does it feel good, baby?"
"So good," you whined, gripping his shoulders as you eagerly ground yourself against him, your clit throbbing as you were reminded how you were edged and denied by him earlier.
The high you'd missed out on was rapidly growing again, making you tremble in anticipation. Namjoon sensed your impending orgasm and quickly stopped you, forcing you back onto your knees.
Before you could voice your complaints at being denied again, you were roughly pinned down with Namjoon hovering over you. He leaned down, cupping your cheek as he pulled you in for a kiss.
You gasped into his mouth as you felt his cock at your entrance. You could distantly register the crinkle of a condom wrapper but were too absorbed in the kiss to think about it.
You both froze, eyes locking as he sunk into your tight cunt, your walls squeezing him so perfectly that it made his lashes flutter. Neither of you wanted to wait, you arched your hips, grinding down on him until he pulled back.
When he sunk into you completely and you cried out when he found your sweet spot with practiced ease.
"Holy shit," you whined, clinging to his shirt as he focused on hitting that spot.
"Feel good?" he asked, a cocky smirk on his face when you nodded, "Think I know how to use my cock?"
"Fuck, yes," you panted, losing your grip on him when he suddenly sat back on his knees.
He gripped you beneath your knees and pinned them to your chest. You were left deliciously exposed and the angle allowed him to hit your spot even better. The orgasm you continued to be denied was growing once again.
Sweat caused Namjoon's hair to cling to his forehead and there was a dark glaze in his eyes as he watched the way you hungrily took him in. Your cunt was creaming wet as you gushed on him, painfully close to cumming but unable to without him touching your clit.
He grinned as you whined, dangling so close to the edge, he kept building you up but never let you fall over. The desperate way you ground against him made his cock throb, close to his own orgasm.
It turned him on, having such control over you. Knowing that he was the only one who could make you cum in this moment.
"Please, please make me cum, Joon..." you practically sobbed.
The nickname took him by surprise, throwing him off guard and it pushed him over the edge. You whined when he stilled, feeling the way his cock was throbbing in the throws of his orgasm, the lovely little groan he gave as pleasure coursed through his body.
He pulled out, watching the way you trembled. The denial was painful, leaving you with teary eyes and pouting lips.
Suddenly, he was sinking two fingers into your entrance and there was the hot feeling of his tongue on your clit. Your hands flew down to grip his hair. He pumped his fingers upwards, hitting your spot as he sucked your bud into his mouth.
Your walls fluttered and tightened around him with your high. Your whole body tensed before you were cumming. He groaned, releasing your clit from his lips but flattening his tongue against it as it pulsed in time to your orgasm.
You were crying out, the orgasm that had been denied several times being one of the most powerful you'd ever experienced.
Before long, you were whining in overstimulation until he finally pulled his fingers from your cunt. Giving you a final lick to your clit, enjoying the way it made your body jolt, he pulled away.
He brought his cum soaked fingers to his lips, meeting your gaze as he took them into his mouth. Your squeezed your thighs together at the way he moaned at your taste, swirling his tongue around the digits until he deemed them clean enough.
Then, he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours — letting you barely taste yourself.
The two of you were panting, worn out from the intense session.
"We should get cleaned up," he breathed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.
"Yeah," you nodded, letting him pull you up and lead you to the bathroom.
He closed the door and began to strip. The only thing you had to do was push your skirt down until you were completely nude.
"I've...never done that before," he suddenly said as you both stepped beneath the rainhead shower, hot water pouring over you both.
"Done what?" you asked, smoothing your hands over you skin to quell the goosebumps.
"Used my...mouth," he mumbled before quickly shaking his head, "I-I mean I've eaten girls out before, I've had girlfriends obviously but...I've never done it with a client."
"Oh..." you hummed, meeting his gaze. He seemed almost nervous, "Th-Thanks...for doing it with me, I guess?"
He chuckled, nervously reaching up to comb his now wet hair back, "Don't take this the wrong way but...I really don't know why I did it. I just...had this overwhelming need to taste you..."
The confession send a shiver down your spine and you bit your lip, "And...was it up to your standards."
He grinned, stepping forward until he was towering over you, "Exceeded them."
He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, sighing into the kiss. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he pulled you closer to him.
"I want to do it again," he mumbled, reaching behind him to shut the water off.
"Wh—!" you were cut off by him suddenly picking you up. Clinging to him, you were paranoid he would drop you but before you could enjoy being in his arms, he was tossing you onto the bed.
Neither of you cared you were soaking wet from the shower, he spread your legs and dropped to his knees at the edge of the bed. He was perfect height to slide his tongue through your folds, making you sigh. You were still sensitive and eagerly spread your legs for more.
He was good with his tongue, letting his tongue find its way into your entrance — hot and wet. Mouthing at your clit, he swirled his tongue around the bud, enjoying the way you whined at the stimulation. Reaching down, you ran your fingers through his wet hair and tugged.
Namjoon was in heaven, the taste of you sweet juices on his tongue going straight to his cock. It was maddening how you had such a strong effect on him.
Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he slid his tongue between your folds with a moan. He took your clit into his mouth, the tip of his tongue flicking lightly to make your thighs jump.
"I'm gonna cum..." you whined, arching your back as you abandoned your hold on his hair in favor of the sheets.
"Cum," he urged, never stopping his tongue on your clit, even as you arched and let out a low moan. You trembled in his hold and gasped, clamping your thighs around his head to stop him when it quickly turned into overstimulation.
He stood up, eagerly crawling onto the bed, meeting your lips for yet another feverish kiss. Reaching down, you wrapped your hand around his hardened shaft, pumping it a few times until he moaned and pulled away.
"Ride me?" he breathed, making your heart skip a beat.
You nodded, the two of you moving effortlessly together until you were positioned above his cock.
"C-Condom?" you asked, remembering how he had gotten one earlier.
"Fuck..." he dropped his head back, eyes following your wetness as it dripped onto the head of his cock, "I...You can say no but...I don't fucking want one."
"Me either," you confessed, prodding the very tip of him at your entrance.
"I trust you're clean?" he asked, watching you nod though he was fully aware that you could be lying, "Fuck, take me in, baby."
You did so without hesitation, the two of you groaning as you sunk down on him — walls stretching to accommodate his thick length. You rolled your hips against him, grinding your sensitive clit against his pelvic bone. Sighing in pleasure, you pulled yourself almost completely off before dropping back down.
Namjoon /whimpered/, gripping your hips as you eagerly began to ride him. You reached up, pinching your own nipples as you effortlessly moved. Your walls spasmed and clenched around him, the feeling of him stuffing you full intoxicating.
"Th-This is so fucking reckless," he choked out, knocking your hand away to cup one of your breasts, "I never...do it bare but fuck...I've never wanted it more."
"Y-You feel so good..." you whined, resting your hands against his chest for more leverage.
"That's it, good girl," he praised, pinching your nipple to make you cry out.
You could feel him throb inside you, obviously close. Your wetness coated his cock, dripping down his shaft to his balls. The fact you got so wet for him only turned him on more. He tightened his grip on you, urging you to quicken your pace.
You were more then happy to oblige, leaning down to pull him into yet another kiss as you rode him. Your thighs were burning, sore, but there was nothing in the world that could stop you in that moment.
"Gotta feel you cum around me," he panted, urging you to sit back up. You leaned back, putting your weight on his thighs.
"Please," you begged, biting your lip.
He watched the way your breasts bounced in time to your movements. He brought his thumb to his mouth, wetting the pad of it with a quick lick before pressing it against your little clit. Your eyes rolled back and he could feel you clench tighter around him, your mouth falling open in a silent moan.
"Cum on my cock, babygirl," he ground out, clenching his teeth to hold back his own orgasm, "Come on, do it for me, baby."
With a final, exuberant cry, you were cumming. Your walls spasmed and you trembled above him, nails digging into his thighs. He didn't mind, the sting only adding to the pleasure.
"Fuck, where can I cum?" he asked, voice tight was he forced himself to stop from blowing his load inside you.
"Inside, please, cum inside," you begged, resuming rolling your hips against him even though you were painfully sensitive from your own orgasm.
Namjoon let out a loud groan, "Fuck," as he came. His grip on your hips tightened as you felt the hot rush of his cum filling you up. It dripped from inside you, running down his shaft and making a mess but neither of you minded.
His hissed, "Stop, stop," until you stopped moving.
The two of you sat for several long minutes until you finally pulled off of him. His cum gushed out further but you only laid beside him, uncaring. He wrapped you up in his arms, and kissed the top of your head.
"I can't believe I did that..." he said, an almost gleeful chuckle escaping his lips.
"Y-You don't ever do it bare with...clients?" the word rolled awkwardly off your tongue.
He nodded, "It's not technically against policy but...it's urged. Some of the other guys order STD tests before a meeting so they can go bare but...I don't usually."
"Then why with me?" you asked, looking up at him through your lashes.
He was quiet for a moment, eyes analyzing your face, "I don't know. I think I'm addicted to you."
You were surprised by his words, eyes widening. He gave you a small smile and urged you to lay your head back down.
With his heartbeat pounding against his chest, you couldn't help but wonder what would happen when the 24 hours were up.
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ingek73 · 5 years ago
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The British Royal Family, The Media and ‘SussExit’ – Part 1
By Zanye Linda August 9, 2020 4 Comments
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The British Royal Family, The Media and 'SussExit' – Part 1
Prince Harry’s engagement to Meghan Markle was heralded by the British establishment, led by the UK media, as a sign of a modern Royal Family; an institution that symbolizes white power and privilege. By accepting her grandson’s marriage to an independent woman of mixed heritage, the Queen had demonstrated willingness to lead and present a Royal Family that was reflecting of today’s Britain. UK mainstream and social media was awash with stories of a progressive Royal Family and Meghan was proclaimed as one to modernize the Monarchy. They even went as far as claiming her engagement as a symbol of hope for Black women much to the skepticism of black women commentators. Fast-forward to today, Meghan Markle and her husband, Prince Harry stepped down as senior royals and moved their family to California to start a new life. But how did we go from modernizing an archaic institution to Harry and Meghan leaving the Royal Plantation?
Winter 2017
Within a week of the engagement announcement, Meghan and her fiancé undertook their first engagement where the world got a glimpse of this modern woman as a working royal. Huge crowds turned out to see them on that cold December day in Nottingham. As is customary with Royal women, her clothes were analyzed, the handbag she carried became a fast seller, and a lot of commentary was made about the couple’s Public Display of Affection(PDA). Later that month, Meghan attended Christmas festivities with the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family – a first for a future Princess. A lot was made of how the family welcomed her. It was during this period of festivities, when most of the Queen’s extended family would meet Meghan for the first time, that one of them arrived at Christmas lunch wearing a racist brooch(blackamoor).
Shortly after the annual Christmas spectacle at Sandringham, from whence the media peddled the idea of the ‘fab four”, Meghan would resume her pre-wedding tour of the UK alongside Harry. In January 2018 Meghan and Harry were scheduled to undertake engagements in Wales on the same day that William also had engagements elsewhere. The media commented on the calendar clash, but this was put down to poor planning by palace courtiers. However, they did note that this was bound to be a problem going forward. The Daily Mail quoted a “palace source” as saying “mark my words, William will be furious”.
As the final month of winter was rolling in, William and Kate undertook a tour of the Scandinavian countries. Back in London, Harry and Meghan were due to attend the Endeavour awards. This was the second clash of events in less than a month, and a scheduling problem for the Royal Rota– the press team dedicated to covering the Royal Family. In the final days of the Cambridges’ tour, Rebecca English, a Royal Correspondent for the Daily Mail informed her Twitter followers that, she would be leaving the Scandinavian tour early to cover Harry and Meghan at the Endeavour Awards, along with many other British reporters. The day after the awards, as William and Kate were concluding their tour, front pages of the papers were devoted to coverage of Meghan and Harry and as the Daily Beast noted, “It has been astonishing to witness in recent weeks just how completely the public appetite for information about William, Kate and their family has collapsed and the hunger for coverage of Meghan and Harry has grown commensurately”.
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The Daily Beast article down played the potential of a problem, stating that the lack of media and public interest in William and Kate, was as a result of their own poor attitude towards the press over the years, and that, this was characteristic of the royal family, with Harry arguably the worst of them all. Besides, Harry and Meghan were still new, and the expectation was for the current interest to wane over time.
At the end of February 2018, we finally got to see the “Fab Four” sharing a stage at the inaugural Royal Foundation forum where each one of them discussed their current and future charitable endeavors. Once again, we would see Meghan dominate media coverage, with headlines such as “Meghan Markle Shines at First Annual Foundation Forum”, along with praise for her ability to address difficult issues, as she referenced Time’s Up and Me Too, both topical issues at that time. Although some commentators saw this as Meghan being political, which the royal family supposedly avoid, others saw her bravery to push forward with female empowerment issues, a cause close to her heart.
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Spring 2018
While Harry and Meghan continued with their pre-wedding tour of the UK and a host of other royal engagements, staff changes were taking place within Kensington Palace. A gentleman by the name of Simon Case, a key player in Brexit negotiations then working under David Davis’ Brexit department, was appointed as William’s private secretary in March 2018. The following month, the UK hosted the Commonwealth Heads of Government (CHOGM) meeting. Harry and Meghan attended various CHOGM events. This was expected given that during their engagement interview, they mentioned that the Commonwealth would be an area of focus for them. It was also during this period that Harry’s appointment as the Commonwealth Youth Ambassador was announced. A position we would later on find out, William wanted for himself.
In the meantime, the wedding preparations were progressing – the palace providing the occasional planning updates and the royal reporters and commentators filling in the gaps with their characteristic speculation. Meghan Markle’s paternal family, (her half-sister and brother) who had been vocal around the engagement, had for the most part been out of the news. Then almost two weeks before the wedding, the Markle quarters started getting noisy. On May 3rd 2018, Thomas Markle Jr published a letter in Instyle Magazine that he had supposedly sent to Harry, telling him not to marry his sister. It naturally became a tabloid feast. While he had managed to avoid engaging or speaking with the press up till now, all of a sudden there were paparazzi pictures of Thomas Markle Sr appearing in the same tabloids.
On 13 May 2018, 6 days before the wedding, the Daily Mail revealed Thomas Markle Sr as a “Royal Scammer”, who had staged the photos with the paparazzi and sold them for £100,000. What followed was a series of revelations about Thomas Markle Sr. via TMZ and the UK press. Even Thomas’ ex-daughter in law and her two sons who had not seen Meghan since she was a child were now involved with the UK media; they were flown to the UK as wedding day commentators, courtesy of ITV.
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The coverage at this point had reached fever pitch. There was wild speculation about whether or not the wedding would take place, given that Thomas Markle Sr. informed TMZ that, he had suffered a heart attack and would not be in attendance. In a sombre statement released via the palace two days before the wedding, Meghan informed the world that “sadly her father would not be attending the wedding” and went on to plead with the media to allow him the privacy he needed to recover. And as they say ‘the show must go on”. Harry and Meghan were wedded in a beautiful ceremony that celebrated them as a couple and was watched by billions across the globe.
Summer 2018
With the drama surrounding the Royal Wedding now in the past, the beginning of the summer would bring a number of firsts for the newly wed couple. Meghan had her first joint engagement with the Queen, which saw the new Duchess travelling overnight with Her Majesty aboard the Royal train. The UK media was only too eager to point out how this was a unique privilege, since other senior and non-senior royals including HRH the Duchess of Cambridge had never ridden the royal train. Afterwards, Harry and Meghan had a joint engagement with the Queen first at the Queen’s Young Leader’s Awards and then at Royal Ascot. Each public appearance made by Meghan was accompanied by a story and commentary on Meghan supposedly violating one protocol or another.
During the summer, Thomas Markle gave his first paid interview with ITV’s Good Morning Britain hosted by Piers Morgan, who from their engagement announcement, had been vocal in his praise for Meghan Markle. The interview was billed as an opportunity for Thomas Markle to provide an explanation for missing out on his daughter’s wedding. It was also an opportunity for Piers and his co-host to interrogate Thomas on unrelated issues such as his opinion on what Harry’s views of Trump and Brexit were, for the simple purpose of stirring up controversy.
In as much as the interview attracted a lot of media attention it did not divert the attention of the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex and the following month, July 2018 saw them undertake their first Royal visit to Ireland. So far Meghan has aced all her appearances but this one was different because, such visits are undertaken on behalf of the UK government, and so she was going as a representative of her new country. It should therefore come as no surprise that they were accompanied by an unprecedented number of journalists, photographers and cameramen. The Irish came out in large numbers to see the royal couple at each stop of the visit, continuing what had become characteristic of the couple’s public engagements. Suffice it to say the visit was a success.
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The month of August is a slow royal news one, as the royal family enjoy their summer break. However, ‘twas not to be, as Thomas Markle decided(or did he?) that it was the opportune time to clear his name and dispel some mistruths that had been written about him. To do that, he penned an Op-Ed in the Mail on Sunday. He would later claim that he was being ignored by his daughter, in a story written by Caroline Graham- a Mail on Sunday Journalist based close to him in Mexico. This is the same Caroline Graham who has been revealed by Bylines Investigates, to be Thomas Markle’s babysitter, paying him a visit every weekend at his Mexico residence. Not to be left out, Samantha Markle travelled to the UK to “try and make amends with her sister”. She appeared on yet another ITV show – The Jeremy Vine show and was strangely photographed delivering a letter to security guards at Kensington Palace.
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Autumn 2018
In September 2018 Meghan launched her first solo project as a Royal; Together, a cookbook she developed with survivors of the Grenfell fire, to raise funds towards keeping the Hubb Community Kitchen open 7 days a week. Around the same time, there were rumblings from the Royal Rota regarding access to the Duchess of Sussex. Their grievance was that, they had not been given exclusive access to the cookbook prior to the promotion video being released on social media – never mind that the Royal Rota was invited to the official launch a week or so later. Maybe the protest was because news of the launch traveled farther and wider compared to what would have been the reach of the Royal Rota, perhaps a sign of the changing media landscape. The book topped Amazon’s bestseller even before it was released bumping JK Rowling off the number one spot.
Weirdly though, after the media had gone to great lengths to point out that the royal family works hard to avoid a clash of events, Rebecca English chose the weekend before the cookbook launch to announce a new project by the Duchess of Cambridge. This would be her first major project after 8 years of marriage. Details of the project were lacking and the launch date was yet to be determined, bringing into question the apparent urgency/timing of the announcement. Preemptive strike maybe?
Nonetheless, the Duchess through this project demonstrated a working style and a level of success that was rare within the royal family. Meanwhile Harry and Meghan were preparing to embark on their first major royal tour. A 16-day tour, comprising over 70 engagements across 4 countries – including Australia and New Zealand whose head of state is the Queen. The tour started on a high note with an announcement that the Sussexes were expecting their first child in the spring of 2019. While the world and the media entourage in Sydney were celebrating the news, back in the UK, royal commentators were stirring up controversy regarding the pregnancy announcement.
On the Saturday before the tour, Harry and Meghan attended Princess Eugenie’s wedding. According to the palace statement key family members had been informed, and had a chance to congratulate the couple in person at the wedding. In an article for the telegraph, Camilla Tominey advances a narrative that we had witnessed over the summer by claiming another ‘protocol violation’ in a story titled “Harry and Meghan may have breached etiquette by announcing baby news at Eugenie’s wedding, says expert” allegedly to the displeasure of some members of the royal family. This was of course a complete misrepresentation of the statement from Kensington Palace, but that did not matter and the mainstream media were only too happy to amplify this narrative.
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Murmurings aside, the tour kicked off on a high note with droves of people turning up at every stop. According to Forbes “Crowds the size that have not appeared for Queen Elizabeth on any of her trips to Australia (which date back as far as the 1950s)”, came out for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Amidst the success of this landmark tour and glowing coverage for the British royal family, the Sunday Times reported that plans were underway to split Kensington Palace and create a separate household for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Once again we see the palace put out a speculative article while Harry and Meghan are undertaking a highly important tour, making the purpose and the timing of the article questionable at best. Also, it did nothing to dampen the enthusiasm surrounding the tour, which had so far been a success and was commanding unprecedented positive global coverage for both the couple and the Royal Family.
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Once the tour concluded, on cue, the tone in media coverage for this couple changed. For one, the main focus of the coverage was Meghan. Secondly, it was persistently negative and thirdly it was driven by the royal rota. A key fixture in this media whirlpool was Robert Jobson, who had just published a Prince Charles biography “revealing” that Meghan threw a tantrum over a tiara. In the middle of November, Meghan visited the women at the Hubb Community Kitchen. This was a couple of months after the cookbook launch, and Camilla Tominey suddenly remembered that the mosque where the Hubb Community Kitchen is located had “links to terrorists”. The leader of a white supremacist group who advanced that theory, would later thank Camilla Tominey on Twitter for putting their mosque-terrorist story in the paper.
Jack Royston, then at the SUN and currently at Newsweek, wrote that “Meghan made Kate cry”. Why, he couldn’t say, but he was certain it happened. Rebecca English also weighed, in referring to Meghan as an ‘interloper who does not belong’. It was open season with article after article attacking Meghan specifically, calling her all kind of names; difficult, demanding, social climber, over sexual and a lot more. All steeped in racism, sexism and all kinds of bigotry. Every day bore a new story about Meghan, and every story trashing Meghan was an opportunity to uplift Kate.
The Telegraph, for no apparent reason, did a fawning feature on Carole Middleton, praising her as a hard working hurricane. The same paper had earlier described the Duchess of Sussex as “Hurricane Meghan”, a destructive force that was raining havoc on the Kensington Palace staff with her difficult and demanding ways. Curious, isn’t it? Amidst this onslaught of negative coverage, Emily Andrews via a palace source reports that, Harry and Meghan would leave Kensington Palace and move to the Windsor estate, getting ahead of the official palace statement. This became another opportunity to attack Meghan- the narrative being that she was instigating the move, and questioning why the couple would choose to move away from William and Kate at Kensington Palace.
In just one year, how did Meghan go from being the one to bring the Monarchy into the twenty first century to being cast as this villain? To recap events so far:
The media inform us that ‘William will be furious’ because of the shift in attention, which we have witnessed each time Harry and Meghan have a public engagement.
Meghan has delivered her first project, an international best-selling cookbook without the exclusive marketing and spin of the Royal Rota.
The attention Harry and Meghan are getting locally and internationally is nothing the Royal Family or the media has seen since Diana.
Was the spare and his wife outshining the heir? Also what is the connection between ITV and the Markle family? Why does this mainstream channel consistently give them platform? And what about the Royal Rota – they exist to sell the Monarchy to the public while also subjecting them to the appropriate scrutiny. Did they not think the negative coverage surrounding Meghan would have a negative impact on the Monarchy? Where was the Royal Family in all this? When Diana and Sophie were faced with negative media coverage, the Queen and the palace asked the editors to ease up on them. Even Kate was given a grace period to settle into her role as a Royal. Why were they not offering Meghan the same protections?
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dafpunk · 4 years ago
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Vayera
7 November 2020
18:5 Who is Avraham a servant to, strangers? Sounds a lot like the description of primitive societies where men gain power by either being physically violent, hospitable, or both. Avraham isn’t being hospitable because he’s a nice, moral guy—he’s being hospitable because he thinks the three strangers are going to build his power, and they are.
18:6 Who’s Sarah to be baking pitas when there are over three hundred people in Avraham’s household?
18:8 Not very kosher I see.
18:12 “Am I to have enjoyment with my husband so old?” Don’t you know that old folks are the horniest?
18:15 Sarah continuing the long tradition by now of straight-out lying to G-d? First Adam and Chava “we didn’t eat anything” to Cain “am I my brother’s keeper?” to now Sarah “I didn’t laugh”. What’s similar here, what’s different? And why do people keep doing it when they supposedly have faith in G-d?
18:17 G-d just monologuing like a cartoon villain here.
18:23 And Avraham arguing, as if G-d doesn’t know that he only cares about Lot being spared! Avraham couldn’t care less if a “righteous” person is saved, he just wants Lot to get out.
19:8 But okay, what? Both of Lot’s daughters are married... to men. Is Lot just lying to the Sodomites? Does he know that they won’t accept natives of Sodom to torture, but rather want to torture the strangers? Also, did Avraham warn Lot that angels were coming, so he had to treat them nicely, like he did? Or is Lot also such a good judge of character, like Avraham, that he can tell?
Brief tangent: in case anyone is unaware, Sodom and Gomorrah were not destroyed because of butt sex! For fuck’s sake. They were destroyed for being the most inhospitable, low-down, crooked scammers there ever were. Reference: the story of Hidod, the most absurd scammer in history.
Additionally, the crime of stinginess, wherein Ezekiel is quoted as saying “This was the guilt of your sister Sodom: arrogance! She and her daughters had plenty of bread and untroubled tranquility, yet she did not support the poor and needy.”
19:14 Why could Lot’s sons-in-law not have just believed him? Why were they cursed, too? God promised to save ten people from Sodom, I’m only counting four!
19:19 Why does Lot not flee to the hills? Don’t you think that Zoar would be targeted before the hills, since it’s presumably nearer to Sodom than the hill country? Why does Lot say that “the bad” would overtake him in the hills? Is this a premonition of his daughters? They are 100% “the bad”!
19:31 These are like, super important and problematic women. Why don’t they have names?
19:34 There’s persuasion and lack of consent happening here, just like Chava and Adam with the fruit, and like Avram enslaving Sarai in Egypt. Avram, for instance, just proposed this plan and Sarai carried it out, but didn’t say “yes” to it ever.
20:2 You would think that Avraham would have fucking learned from the shit they pulled in Egypt would you not? Also, isn’t Sarah advanced in years and isn’t about to have sex with even Avraham? What’s the deal with that?
20:4 Yeah, this is really twisted. On the one hand, G-d is testing Avimelech, like he subsequently does with Avraham. Does that mean that G-d favors Avimelech? Well, clearly not like Avraham, because the penalty for failing the test isn’t spelled out as death for Avraham even beforehand.
20:9 But that’s the other hand: G-d is just going around threatening people for the entirely blameless things they’re doing just because Avraham is a fucking trickster and a scammer—the only difference between Avraham and the Sodomites is that the Sodomites are settled and mistreat the nomads, and Avraham is a nomad and mistreats the settlers!
20:12 “And besides, she is in truth my sister, my father’s daughter though not my mother’s; and she became my wife.”
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20:14 Avraham is literally getting away with blackmail, and G-d literally just aided and abet him. G-d just has Avraham’s back, and Avraham knows it, and will just totally abuse and misuse that power.
21:9 “Playing” is the same word as “laughter”, which Sarah uses in 21:6... to literally name Yitzchak. There are interpretations of “metzahek” as committing sexual immorality, doing violence, or worshiping idols (the absurdity of which is the topic for another post) but it could also mean simply “mi-” (in) “yitzchak” (Isaac)! Sarah saw Yishmael’s influence on Yitzchak—possibly not even seeing Yishmael at all, but seeing Yitzchak—and got jealous. And her reaction to her jealousy was destructive and inhuman.
21:12 In which Avraham almost thinks a nice thought but G-d tells him to listen to his racist wife instead.
21:14 Shmot Rabbah is very anxious about how nice Avraham was to Yishmael and blames him for how wild Yishmael was despite the fact that it was literally foretold in prophecy. I’m very anxious about how “nice” Avraham was to Hagar because for fuck’s sake!
Also quick midrash break again—same Sefer HaYashar says that decades later, Avraham swung by Yishmael’s place to tell him to divorce his rude Egyptian wife for not giving him water and bread and marry a Canaanite instead.
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1upmushrooms · 8 years ago
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Fear and Loathing in Pac Land (1up Dead Fic)
AM: Hey, do you like me when I’m being weird and writing cult classic like crap? No? Well...why the hell are you even on this tumblr? XD 
Anyway, this is another dead fic I wrote, back when I was trying to write more weird, stream of concious style stories. Did I succeed with this chapter of a story I never finished? You be the judge!
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Prologue: Preparing for the Trip. I am often a forgetful person. I’ve forgotten many things, my birthday, my dog, my homework, my girlfriend’s birthday, all that stuff has escaped my mind. I even forget sometimes that I live in a dull and violent city named “Pleasure City”. But this, this I couldn’t forget, not in a million years. It’s too crazy, too psychotic, too weird a tale to be forgotten, and that’s saying a lot since I live in a world where videogame characters are real! I’ve tried for hours and I still can’t believe any of this happened! But as a friend said, “In order to keep your sanity about certain events, you must acknowledge that they happened.” And, since I think this is the best form of acknowledgement, I might as well explain what happened. What’s amazing is that these events were so powerful that I was able to remember every…single…solitary…thing that happened so this’ll be a breeze. Anyway, it all started with a legend, a drink, and two people willing to prove that certain legend as fact. This as you guessed, is that story. It all began in the 1up bar, a place where videogame characters and regular people often met to drink all their worries down the drain. However many people often went there to watch the videogame characters beat the living crap out of each other. Yeah it was one of those places, a Slum-shroom as I like to call it…yeah I know I’m not funny. Anyway, today was an unusually peaceful day there. I had just entered the bar; looking as confident as I could muster while trying to not look like a poser. I didn’t succeed, after cruising through a bunch of ladies who scoffed at my appearance I made it to the stools and sat down. I looked at the bartender, who merely gave me my usual drink as I handed him the money. The drink was ice cold as was the glass that held it. My eyes barely stayed open as I laid my head on my hand. It was there that everything in my life would change. Normally I’d just sleep, go back to the office, go home, try to get my girlfriend back for 45th time, go to sleep, and then wake up to start the cycle all over again. However, that all changed when someone sat on a stool right next to me. I looked up and my eyes widened. The man was a short person with a circle like appearance. His eyes were completely black, his skin was light yellow, and his gloves and boots were cherry red. Before I could utter a word he talked very sincerely, ‘’What’s with you?” I sighed and raised my head, “Oh nothing, just had a drink that’s all.” “Must be a strong drink.” “Yeah, so uh, how are you Mr. Pac-Man?” Pac-Man sighed and slipped 4 gold coins to the bartender. “Not good,” he said, “I’ve been trying to get some heavy cash.” “Why?” Pac-Man got his drink and sipped it. “I’m going on a trip.” “Trip, what trip?” He sipped some more and looked at me. “Do you like Pleasure City?” I was caught off guard by this, I looked at the cold glass. “Eh, it’s ok.” “Well, to be honest, I don’t like it much.” “Why?” “It’s too gloom and doom for my taste. For a while I’ve been tolerant of this city, always walking down the muddy streets, looking at all the thieves and scammers, but by now I’ve had enough. I’m leaving here no matter what! Unfortunately where I’m going is a long way away. I need a vehicle, I need food, I need clothes, but most of all I need money! I have food, clothes, and a vehicle, but without money I may as well walk on foot.” “Why?” “The vehicles almost out of fuel and I only have about 13 coins left.” Pac-Man then sipped more of the drink and looked at me again. “So, what about you, Are you going anywhere?” I then sat up straight and proudly said, “I’m going to the next annual Mario Kart race!” Pac-Man nodded, “Hmm, that’s not a cheap event, I wish I could see it.” Then, I stopped and looked at Pac-Man. For some reason I thought he was trying to scam me into buying him a ticket for the race. “For some reason, I think you’re scamming me into buying you to a ticket for the race.” Pac-Man raised an eyebrow, I then blushed and tried to drink from an empty glass. “Listen buddy,” he said, “I don’t scam people into buying me a ticket.” “I’m sorry I just get paranoid sometimes.” “Why shouldn’t you? Not a lot of people are honest around here.” I looked at my watch, 15 minutes until lunch break is over. “You know,’’ I said, “You never told me where it is you’re going.” “That’s mostly because it may not even exist anymore.” Oh great, I thought, he’s on a wild goose chase. “Uh, what is this supposedly fake place?” Pac-Man finished his drink and looked at me, “Pac-Land, that’s what.” My eyes widened, “You’re going there?” “Yep, but like I said, it may not exist and even then I need money.” I then thought about the money I had planned for that ticket. I was single at the time, and I really had nothing in Pleasure City to leave behind. “Hey Pac-Man” I said, “Would you mind making this a trip for two?” Pac-Man looked at me in amazement, “You want to come with me? But what about your ticket?” “I haven’t bought it yet, and besides you could use about 678 coins.” Pac-Man then sighed and seemed to be in thought. “Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t feel like endangering someone else if this turns out to be all for not.” “Listen Pac-Man, I’m a nobody. No one cares about me now, and they won’t care about me when I die so I might as well go out with a bang.” Pac-Man sighed, “Well, at least think about it will you?” Pac-Man then got up and left the 1up bar, while looking at a scrap between Mega Man and Bomber Man. I merely walked to the scrap and observed. It was pretty intense as body parts soon started coming off. Bomber Man then shoved a bomb in Mega Man’s mouth. The explosion was mild as Bomber Man raised his arms in victory. I found 7 coins on the floor all alone. I picked them up and stuffed them in my pocket. I left the bar approached the motorcycle mother got me. She said it was a chick magnet but it was actually a chick repellent. The cycle was rusted beyond belief, there were constant stickers that said stuff like: “Crack is WHACK!!!”, plus the cycle felt uncomfortable while riding. This was obviously given to me so I wouldn’t pick up a “dirty girl” as mom called them. I started it up and in 13 minutes was back at the office. The office was gray and dull, with people coming in and out looking sad and soulless. I sighed; this obviously wasn’t my idea of fun. That Pac-Land trip was looking good about now so I said “Screw it,” walked in, walked to the boss’s office, took a pen, drew on a piece of paper saying “I QUIT”, took my payday check and left, leaving my job behind. Well, that’s one less thing I had at Pleasure City, but I still had my ex-girlfriend. I phoned her up and spoke to her, “So, you came crawling back to me again?” She said. “I just wanted to say I’m going on a trip and that I’ll probably never talk to you again, bye.” I hung up on her and walked to my motorcycle. She called me and said “DID YOU HANG UP ON ME?!” I said, “I don’t know did it sound like this?” I hung up on her again and got on my motorcycle. While riding around I looked around and could see what Pac-Man was talking about. There were lots of gloom and doom here. No one smiled at anything and thousands of messages claiming “the end of the world” were everywhere. It was very depressing, and then I saw people like Donkey Kong throwing barrels at windows and Boo ghosts scaring children. It was insane here. Now I definitely knew I was getting out of here. At my house, which was basically a 2 room apartment, I got out the phone book and found Pac-Man’s phone number. After a quick dial up, I had Pac-Man. “Yes?” Pac-Man said, “Pac-Man, I’m the guy from the 1up bar and I made my decision. I’m going with you to Pac-Land if you want me.” “You sure?” “I’ve never been more sure!” “Uh, alright, how many coins do you have in total though?” “I just collected 3,000 an hour ago so that would make…7,000 coins.” “Amazing, I think that’s more than enough for the budget.” “So when do we go?” “I’d say tomorrow at the 1up bar and hey-” “What?” “What’s your name kid?” I stood proudly even though he didn’t see me. “You can call me……………ClassicLuigiFan!” There was a long pause, “Uh, you sure you want to go by that name?” “Yes, it’s my nickname.” “Ok, ClassicLuigiFan it is.”
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