#what crimes will lewis and fernando commit against each other

[jusst-you-race]

continuing to watch the 07 season I think this is races 7-13? I’ve been jotting down my thoughts as I watch and thought I should do another collation of them

reliability in current f1 is really something I’ve been taking for granted. these cars are breaking all the time especially red bull poor mark webber is retiring every other race

every race I watch I go “this has to be when kimi gets loads of points and lewis and fernando don’t” and every race I am wrong… the longer this goes on the more I am in disbelief that he manages to pull of the championship win. how is he still so far behind there are only four races left kimi wtf

iconic fernando and massa bickering in the cooldown room moment!!! incredibly funny from both of them fr

fernando and lewis really did choose violence huh… the crimes they are committing against each other <3 you go girls

itv care about a driver that isn’t british challenge FAILED…. good fucking god like i am kind of aghast as how biased they are like at least pretend to be impartial commentators fucking hell… AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE HEAD OF F1 absolutely criminal for him to be out here showing CLEAR bias and preference LIVE ON AIR shocking stuff actually

espionage drama my beloved

BABY SEB!!!!!!!!! I need to see more of him… I Would Like to See the Baby

[girlfriendpato]

Vroom vroom, good afternoon/evening to Zak's twink farm 🤭 If you got out of the cursed bathroom already, would you mind sharing some of your Hungary predictions? (I mean, if that doesn't go against your contract of course, you worked hard for that podium and I don't wanna take it away from you 😂)

I AM SCREAMING THIS WAS A WAY TO SEND AN ASK. A WAY FOR SURE. WOW. I AM WOW

under the cut. there’s for sure ppl i missed but if i forgot about them they aren’t important so 🙏

max (dns) and checo (dns) and hulk (dns) are locked in the cursed bathroom and can't race. Pierre (DNS) accepts the choice to race in a red bull replacing max but ive broken the second red bull and he cant do shit, qualifies on a bicycle, matching checo's pace in the redbull while experiencing what it's like to be in a ferrari but the fia after 2 hours of discussion decides that bicycles should not be allowed on track. ocon (p6) blackmails the fia after getting tired of the penalties and commits track crimes finishing in the points. yuki (p4) steals the leftover redbull car but spends his time lapping everyone cause alpha tauri fucked up strategy. horner tries to get him to drive for red bull. i punch horner in the face. Alex (p3) creates the insanest drs train in existence and gets driver of the day. horner tries approaching him. i punch horner in the face again. Zhou (p5) turns up to the paddock in a fit that slays so hard the alfa romeo decides to work has great battles with yuki and it ends up being the highlight of the race. Meanwhile george (p8) started on the front row but thought it was raining again and pits. everyone has a heart attack. it was his sweat. then toto has a heart attack and decides to hate the british. Bottas (p7) is just avoiding all the drama and having the chillest race ever. we get worried cause its too calm. the worry is valid he releases a new picture of his ass 2 days after the race then he dyes his mullet red in celebration and chaos breaks out. Kevin (p9) has a great start but his fuel ran out halfway he runs back to the pits and gets in Hulk’s car and this costs him a top 5 finish. the fia is too scared of estaban to do anything about this. There’s also too busy too appreciate Lewis (p1) and Charles (p2) battling with them finishing with a tenth of each other. I appreciate this fully. I also play chess with fernando (dns) and beat him so bad he has to pull out from the race. Carlos (dns) thinks he’s better than me and tries playing me as well. he gets demolished worse and has to take a mental health break but not before convincing lando to play me. I beat landos (dns) ass too and then punch Zak for good measure. Zak goes and sits in a corner with Horner and a ice pack. lance (p10) is not following my crimes at all and has a almost fully calm race but tries to replicate hungary 2021 at the start in honour of that season. The fia at that point are just knocked out so he gets away with it.

[remapped-soul]

2023 season predictions

with the risk of me being a clown by the end of it, here are my 2023 season predictions. i tried to keep it tame, but I'm also delusional and a tifosi. Tinfoil hat on, rant under the cut, because it got long.

The WDC will be decided between Max, Charles and Merc (if they manage to get a better car this year). Things are uncertain at Ferrari with a new TP and their strategy department, so it will probably be between Max and Merc in the end. I'm saying Merc because George is good (when he doesn't apply what he learned in merc school of shunting people off the race track) so Lewis will probably forget all about "being a better teammate" and use phrases like "idk why George did what he did" when all George did was to win (and outpace/outqualify him). Merc will use team orders to get Lewis that 8th WDC (ngl i want him to get that 8th wdc). George will learn how it is to be a 2nd driver at merc and will commit crimes.

This or Max wins everything again and we're doomed for another RBR supremacy but not fun because it's not Seb. Yes, I'm very biased, what of it?

Max will get engaged. We won't get rid of Kelly Piquet, unfortunately.

There will be team orders at Ferrari. Charles would get more confident. We will get more porn couch videos and sexy ice baths to wash over the fact that their strategy is shit. Their engine will actually be the bomb, but it won't matter because the team does not what it takes to win. Charles will start hinting at future plans that do not involve Ferrari. RIP the little monegasque mouse. He will get a new girlfriend as well. The tifosi will storm Maranello probably.

Lando will get his first win. I hate Mclaren with a burning passion and Lando is an insufferable brat, but even I want to see him win. Oscar and Lando won't like each other.

Fernando will get a podium with the green tractor, will commit many crimes against Lance because no one fucks with Nando, not even the nepo baby.

Things will go well at Alpine in the beginning. They have a good car and manage to be in the points. They even manage a podium or two, and they will remember they hate each other and it will be hell. Can't wait.

Nico H. and K-Mag will murder each other and will not get into the points and it's what Haas deserves. Do it for Mick, boys.

Daniel gets to drive in Las Vegas. Checo will suddenly get sick and Daniel will drive their rocket ship ~(not in LV but sometime during the year) and actually get a win for the first time in forever (if RBR don't use team orders, which they will).

Will Checo be in his villain era? We will find out.

Mick will drive in FPs and he will drive so well and everyone will realise it wasn't him but the car. Fuck Steiner.

No one cares about Sargent.

Alex Albon gets his first win (much deserved - looking at you, Lewis). So does Nyck De Vries.

Nothing to say about Alfa Romeo. They are wholesome wholesome wholesome. Or Valtteri retires.

Everyone will be incredibly tired by the calendar is too packed and they hate it and they want Seb back. FIA will come with more outrageous rules or won't respect them. Pierre gets a warning each race because they hate him.

I will get a ticket to either Monza or Imola.

Last but not least (i did say i live in delulu land) we get Nico Rosberg back in the paddock. We get Nico and Lewis talking We get Nico and Jenson interactions. Seb goes AWOL. Luna will cry herself to sleep.

Tinfoil hat off, imma go touch some grass now.