#what can i say lotus was just asking some nice heavy hitting questions.. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

beigehearts · 4 years ago

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The Price of Self Respect

Read part one here! PART II CW: mutilation, gore, puke

1,729 words

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He’s observing you, every inch of your body. He stared as if you were an art piece, but you begin to wonder what was the true meaning behind it. His grin disappears as if he realizes he’s showing too much emotion. “I never thought the creator would look like this. Though it’s never good to assume.”

Somehow his comment struck a chord in you, and you aren’t someone to stay quiet. “I never thought the Spider’s Leader was a pretty boy, though it’s never good to assume.” You scoff and shake your head. His eyes widen though you aren’t bothering to look at the man anymore. “Wire me my money- I have better things to do than stay where my mission is finished.” You turn on your heel and click your way out of the room, and Chrollo didn’t try to stop you.

Laying in bed at 7 pm, watching an oldy cheesy and romantic movie, you bite into a sour gummy worm. You snuggle deeper into the large, soft bed, sinking into it’s warmth and achieving nirvana. Maybe you should go to a bar. You haven’t gone out for a drink in a while, you try not to be intoxicated for a week before a mission. It could slow you down. Seeing as you have no missions, and assuming you won’t for quite a while, you might as well indulge yourself.

After putting on minimum makeup, and a comfortable but cute outfit, you call a cab to pick you up at the front of the hotel. You used the hotel phone of course, not your own to call a cab. Before you head down to the lobby, you quickly draw a thread ring on your finger. If any nen is use within five feet of you, it will snap. This was you don’t have to constantly exhaust yourself by using gyo constantly.

You are shielded from the rain by the awning in front of the hotel, you hold your arms to your chest as a chill runs through you. It’s quite cold today, you’re surprised that it’s not snowing or sleeting. A yellow car pulls up to the curb and you rush into the back seat.

“Hi, I’m headed to the Lotus Bar.” You say in a sweet voice, as you do to anyone providing you a service.

The man in front of you seems cramped in this somewhat small car. He’s wearing a cabbie uniform besides the hat. His hair is in a high pony tail and his head is only a few centimeters away from the roof of the car. He nods towards you and mumbles, “Okay.”

You try not to think much of it but the hunter in you tells you to worry. You know there are weird people in York New city, and your thread ring hasn’t broken so you should be fine.

Five minutes into the car ride and you reach the highway, at this time the cabbie starts to make conversation. “You don’t look like you’re from around here.”

You put on a fake smile even though he can’t see it, “Yes, I’m just visiting for a few days. On business.”

He nods while keeping his eyes on the road, “What kind of business? Are you an auctioneer?”

“No no, I’m just here meeting some coworkers. It’s more of a business vacation than it is a business trip I should say.” Rain hits the windows as if trying to break through the glass and hit you. Car lights are blurred because of the heavy rain and you wonder if the cabbie would be able to see clearly enough out of the front window.

The cabbie pulls over to the side of the highway and sighs. “Is it raining too hard to see?” You ask innocently.

He turns in his seat towards you, he has a crooked nose, and deep deep eyes. His frown doesn’t falter when he says, “We’ve reached our destination.”

The ring on your finger snaps.

He lunges at you, grabbing you by the throat and punching you impossibly hard in the gut. Your body begs to cough violently but the hand around your throat prevents you to. You punch him in his crooked nose and he loosens his grip on you. You contort your leg to kick him in the neck, and he goes flying into the dashboard.

Blood splatters all over the car’s shitty leather seats when you cough so hard that you become worried your organs will be coming out next. You scramble for the car door and leap out head and hands first. Right as your hands feel the cold and wet road, he grabs your ankle. You glance back at him and his lips quirk upwards, “Nice try. “ The cabbie grabs your thigh and calf, with brute force there’s a loud crack. It takes a moment to register in your mind- but not long. You scream out in agony, and slide out of the car and onto the road once he lets go of you. You flip onto your back and see it, your leg is bent in a way that no leg should be bent. The sight of it causes bile to rise in your throat, and you turn over, everything that was in your stomach forcing itself out of your body. Once everything has left your stomach, you flop back down on your back and grit your teeth in pain.

The man steps out of the car, and picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder. Your foot digs into his rib cage, simply because it’s been forced into an unnatural position. You feel a buzzing coming from the man’s pocket and he grabs his phone and answers it, as if in no rush at all.

“Nobunaga. What’s taking you so long?”

You conjure your pencil and begin sketching in the air.

“I’m on my way.”

It’s starting to come together. A ferocious creature.

“Chrollo told you to be here ten minutes ago. Did you sit down and have a damn drink with the girl?!”

The incredibly large dog begins to form into a physical creature.

The man, Nobunaga, groans and growls into the phone, “I’ll be there soon.” He hands up and puts his phone back in his pocket.

Nobunaga stops and turns when he hears an eardrum shattering bark. His eyes widen but he’s not quick enough to stop the feral dog you’ve created. It sinks it’s fangs into the back of Nobunaga’s leg, and takes a chunk out of him. He screams in pain, collapsing, unable to stand at this point. Things begin to go black, the pain becoming too much for consciousness. You reach out for the dog and as it stretches to grab you gently, to run away with you, it whimpers loudly. It begins to dissipate into dust. Someone had attacked your dog with nen. Above you, standing in the ashes of your large pooch, is Chrollo.

“Come on, let’s go y/n.”

Your mind is fuzzy, sounds are nothing but unintelligible nonsense, and your sight has already gone. At least the pain would be gone for a while, if you woke up.

Who knows how much time has passed, certainly not you. It’s quiet, deafeningly quiet. You peel your eyes open. which requires a lot of effort. Your body is fighting you to stay down but you sit up with much pain. Your stomach feels as if a wrecking ball has slammed into you. You pull the shirt that is not yours up and see a black and blue bruise blooming on your stomach with sprouts of yellow. Speaking of, who’s clothes are these? You look down at your legs, wearing sweatpants much to big for your frame. You feel down to your knee and wince, it seems to be back in place, and wrapped carefully with some kind of nen.

A sigh escapes your lips and you take in your surroundings. It’s dark but your eyes have adjusted to it already. You lay on a makeshift bed, with a light sheet covering your bare feet. The floor is concrete but so are the walls. The room is maybe, 10ft by 7ft wide. The only light in this small, claustrophobic room comes from the moonlight through a hole in the ceiling.

Your eyes wander towards the entrance of the room, a man sits on a wooden chair that looks incredibly uncomfortable. His eyes don’t even look up from his book when he says, “How are you feeling y/n?”

“Well, my leg is broken and I’ve been kidnapped. So not bad.”

He closes his book and chuckles, then gently places his book on the floor next to him. “You put up quite a fight. It was wonderful to see you create something so beautifully.” Chrollo sits on the floor at the end of your makeshift floor bed. “It truly was delightful.”

You look down at your hands in your lap, “How is Nobunaga?”

“He’s okay, he’s been through worse.”

“Whose clothes are these?” Suddenly you have many questions that you want answered.

“They’re mine.” He states. Though the statement surprises you, you could never imagine Chrollo wearing sweatpants and a white t shirt.

“So what am I here for. Information? You gonna torture me? Go ahead, you guys already broke my leg.” You say as if he’s the one who broke your leg.

Chrollo stares at you in wonderment. “You have quite a lot of questions. I can’t blame you.” He looks up to the single light source and nods to himself. “I’ve been observing you for quite a while.

Once the words reach your ears, a red tint covers your cheeks. How could you not have known he was watching you? How long has he been watching you? How much does he even know about you?!

“I’m a specialist as well. I’ll let you know what my nen ability is.” For some reason this makes your heart pound, do you want to know what his ability is?

“I take other people’s abilities, so they can no longer use it, and I can use as many as I take. That’s why I tracked you down. Your ability is quite unique.” He looks at you with a genuine smile, “But then I began to like you too much to just take your ability. So instead I took you.”

#chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #yandere chrollo #hxh #hunterxhunter #yandere #phantom troupe #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo x reader #y/n #self insert

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jaylightning · 7 years ago

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Chapter 12 - Fishy situation

Muttering a little as he slept in a chair, eyes would slowly open and blue orbs would glance around an empty room. A bed beyond a mess, a cup of water spilled over, and not a single soul in the room but him. It was peaceful. It was very quiet, and Raven could relax and just go back to sleep. Everything was just perfect. No one was there to bother him, and even Ria wasn’t there to harass-

“RIA!?”

A sudden panic ensued as the realization came in. Everything had the appearance that the woman had bolted out of the room and possibly out of the diner and out of their lives. He was out of that chair in a flash, a gust of wind could almost be felt as he ran out the room and soon out the door screaming the name of his friend that was gone. Standing outside after nearly busting down the doors, he was in full-on panic mode. Heavy breathing, widened eyes, and a look of horror about his features. Where was she?! What happened!?

“No, no! Not again...!” he muttered, teeth soon grinding a bit. What was he to do? He had to book it. He had to see if he could find her even if logically there was no way he could catch up to one of the fastest he knew. He had to try, he had to- Did he hear snickering?

His head turned upward to the roof of the diner to see three heads peering down at him, all three having hands covering their mouths. Lotus, Matthew, and Ria were staring down at him suppressing their laughter for the moment. The look on their faces showed there was a big secret on this, and Raven’s face quickly went from horror to absolute disgust.

“O-oh, did we f-forget something?” Lotus managed to speak out inbetween some snickers.

“Y-you were right. That would wake him up real quick...” Matthew responded back.

“I feel so bad... but I guess Lotus wins the bet. Was it ten or fifteen?” Ria would ask as the three would begin laughing. Three laughing for a brief moment, but one would be silenced with a rock pelting the head of Lotus, causing the chef to fall back in agony. The two looked at the fallen male, but they didn’t do much about it. Raven stood in place still fuming as Ria would eventually leap down from the roof to land next to Raven.

“I’m so sorry! but Lotus insisted we do that as a small prank. It should teach you a lesson to stay up so late, you know!” she lectured and gave the other a flick to the forehead. “You really suck at taking care of yourself, but...” getting into a pocket, she would pull out a new blue handkerchief and tie it around Raven’s head. “There! All new and no blood on this one. That’s disgusting, you know!”

Standing in silence, Raven was just staring at Ria as if not really believing what he was seeing still. Even after finding her and seeming to have convinced her, he was still at a loss. Glancing upward, a hand would move up to touch the fabric before looking back to the other. “Well, maybe this is just more encouragement for you to stay put. Don’t run off so recklessly,” he responded with the inability to keep his anger at the moment. “Also, don’t scare me like that!” Okay, most of his anger.

“Guys! Lotus is twitching! Is he okay?” Matthew called out.

“He’ll be fine! He’s just wanting attention. Treat him like a dog and just ignore his whimpers,” Raven called back before moving to return to the diner.

“You should be nicer to him, by the way! He was a big help in all of this!” Ria would say with Raven just giving a small shrug.

“I’ll be nice to him when he deserves it,” his only response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Misure Samil,” a soft voice spoke as a brunette woman stepped foot into a rather large office. A man with jet-black hair was sitting back in his chair with white hues staring off into the city that his officer basically towered over. Approaching the desk, the woman would set down several documents before giving a small bow.

“A couple of your business partners would like to send their regards to your support, and they have offered a donation to your cause. They were in complete awe of your team’s research and wish to expand more on this medicine,” she had spoken once more with the male finally turning in his chair to face his desk and the papers laid out before him. Going through a couple of them, he would eventually take a whole folder and give himself quite the spin in his chair, legs shooting up to cross over one another as he spun.

“Ah, how wonderful how wonderful ~ I figured that they would see things my way before too long, but I suppose a victory comes when the opponents become terrified. So yes, let’s see. Need these filed away and the money stored away properly as well,” the man spoke with a toss of the folder as he spun. They would land on the desk with a light thud and feet would hit the ground to stop his spinning. Eyes relaxed on the woman with the man standing up and walking his way over to this woman. “Tell me, my dearest Angel, has the team I sent off managed to return with a full shipment?” a hand would move to touch underneath Angel’s chin which would cause a rise in color in the woman’s cheeks.

“The team did r-report in, yes. They had a... full shipment, but there had been a report of difficulty, Misure. There was an explosion an-”

“Oooooh? Now that is a surprise! Competition? No, no. That wouldn’t be it. This was just a random act?” he would ask with the woman eventually nodding. The man’s hand would move away from her as he moved to stand behind the assistant, arms draping around her shoulders. “My research does require enough specimens, you know? They are quite the key to what will eventually earn a large sum of cash not to mention how much stronger I’ll become in this world.”

“O-of course, Misure Samil. This is completely out of our power, but they managed to keep a strong hold on the shipment. However, they did say one managed to get away during the confusion. I’ve already sent one of your scouting teams along with one of your most trustworthy to investigate and find leads.”

Words that caused a smile to grow on this boss’ face, it seemed the woman knew exactly what she was doing which was all the reason why he kept her around. Very much his most trustworthy, Angel was this man’s finest pieces to his empire. Which did bring up another question.

“Right, right and I must know now what had happened to that throwaway team meant to chase after that speedy bloodsucker. I figure a team of wolves to catch her scent rather quick.”

“We’ve ... received no word from them. Last calling we had heard was they had indeed found and managed to wound her. A final message mentioned a diner and no word has come since then.”

A moment of silence that began to stir some worry into Angel. Slowly, her head turned to look at the man that seemed to be a little lost for words. A diner then silence? He wondered why that was. “This isn’t much of a loss as I have plenty of bloodsuckers I can catch. Why does a diner sound so familiar, though?” he asked aloud before hearing a buzz coming from his phone on the desk. Arms left the woman as he moved over to the desk to press a red, flashing button on the phone.

“What is it?”

“The shipment entitled ‘Sea Life’ will arrive in five minutes.” the voice on the speaker phone would state.

“I’ll be there in a moment. Hold all cargo in place until I arrive, and do make sure that the area is secure along with all the preparations for our new aquarium to be .... very welcoming for our new guests,” he spoke out before pressing the button to hang up. Eyes drifted to Angel as the woman stood up straight in attention.

“My dear, I believe we will worry about the ones that got away on a later note. Right now, we need to entertain the guests that have arrived.”

“Right, Misure...”

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As evening falls in the city of Tasogare, the diner would be lit up with several empty plates scattered across tables. It was a small celebration to welcome back Ria and it was safe to say that all of this was a little too much for the woman. She was quick to try and push away the idea, but Lotus wasn’t about to back down. Matthew laid in a booth in what appeared to be a food coma, Raven was sitting up with a glass of soda next to him, and Ria was staring at a rather large cake that no one had even had a chance to touch.

“R-really? Was this even necessary?”

“But Blue, it was very much necessary! I had to put in as much effort into this festivities as Raven had putting in time of trying to find you. Now I feel less lazy ~”

“... Was that an insult?”

“Of course not, Mister Detective! Full-on compliment!”

“So does that mean you put no effort into finding me?”

“Of course I did! Just not as much as our local bird hero ~”

“Do you hate me?!”

“Never!”

Ria would begin to laugh a little before looking back to the cake that was decorated in quite the fascinating designs of blue and white. Lotus knew the shade of blue she liked, and it was identical to the blue she had admired for so long. She may not feel like she deserved any of this, and the feeling of wanting to run away was still there. It was hard to run away from any of this, though. It was like nothing had changed at all. It was truly a blessing.

“Raven...?” Ria asked.

“Hm?” a generic response ...

“Are you sure you’re not angry? not upset?” turning to face him, her hands were held out in front of her, eyes unable to look at the other, “It just feels so weird. To get away with this without anyt-”

“You’re an idiot that claims that I’m the one with the bird brain. I think that’s punishment enough in itself.”

“Did you just--”

“Yes, I did. I called you stu-” Raven now had a face filled with cake with Lotus standing in the back with a hand over his mouth. The urge to fire a comment was so strong, but he wasn’t about to be involved in a cake mess.

Doors busted open with Mia carrying someone wrapped in a blanket on her back.

“Don’t ask any questions! Lotus, I need y’ t’ make a room o’ water fast!” Mia shouted. Suddenly, the room they stood in was just as she asked. For a brief moment, Mia just stared with a blanket expression on her face before shouting something that was too incoherent due to being in water. As if understanding, the water would instantly vanish with the whole crew coughing minus Lotus and whoever Mia had with her.

“Y’ IDIOT! WHA’ THE HELL WAS THA’!?”

“You didn’t specify, Bloodbait ~”

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A room was eventually made to Mia’s specification. A single guest room similar to the one Ria stayed in was made with water that only stayed within that very room. All for a woman with vibrant light purple hair that faded into teal. The hair alone...

“Mia ... Ya do know the stories about what they say with these guys, don’tcha?” Lotus asked.

“O’course. S’why I brought ‘er here under the request of my Idol. He also wanted me t’ give Raven this lil’ piece,” lifting a hand from her pocket, a symbol had been drawn on it as Lotus reached to take the paper. Eyes stared at the paper for a little moment before eyes closed and a smile forming.

“Let me guess. He broke into something and managed to save one from captivity? and this was one of the symbols either on the truck or whatever storage he took out.”

“Y’ recognize it?”

“An emblem of a beautiful angel over the world? I recognize it from my juvenile days. Aaaah, good memories ~” Good memories as his smile faded with eyes opening to show an odd seriousness.

“He’s been fishing for mermaids far away from his home. I wonder what has the ol’ boss so desperate these days.”

#Chapter 12 #Fishy Situation #Bird of the Wind

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winterwriter8845 · 8 years ago

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I Can Kiss Away the Pain: Chapter 19

Masterlist

Raven's POV

I woke up, already excited. It was Christmas! I had grown closer with the Avengers over the past month since Hydra had abducted me. Bucky and I were closer than ever, and we were super protective of each other. We Bucky had practically moved into my room, and we've been sharing it for about six weeks now.

Bucky was still asleep. "Bucky! Get up!"

He groaned, still half asleep, well more like still three-quarters asleep. He burrowed his head under the pillow.

I yanked the pillow away and then the blanket and dropped it on the floor. "Bucky, get your stubborn ass out of bed!" I started beating him with the pillow, earning another groan from him. When that didn't work, I climbed onto the bed and used all of my strength to shove him off the bed. "Hah! Take that, ya lazy ass." As he went down, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me down with him. We landed with a clank as his metal arm hit the floor.

"Hah, take that, you rude ass," he laughed back.

"Why are we saying ass so much?"

"You said it twice, and I said it once." He smiled.

"We have to go downstairs." I tried to get up, but his grip on my waist got tighter, preventing me from getting up.

"I'm not letting you go anywhere because you knocked me out of the bed," he whispered against my lips.

"Well, your lazy, stubborn ass wouldn't get out of bed, so I had no choice but to shove you out the bed."

"There you are with the ass again," he smirked.

"Maybe I like saying ass."

"I know who's ass I like," he breathed, his lips connecting with mine, not a nanosecond after finishing the sentence. Our lips moved in sync as my hands went to his hair, tangling my fingers in his hair. His hands slowly crept down my back to my ass and grabbed it. My fingers went to his ear and tickled it. He jumped, biting my lip. I licked my bottom lip, tasting blood.

I rolled off him, laughing my ass off, laying sprung out on the floor. He started laughing, too.

"What the hell was that?" He asked between laughs.

"I don't know. I just felt the need to see if you're ticklish."

"Let's see if you're ticklish," he said as he started to crawl towards me, like a zombie dragging on the ground.

"No!" I lightly shrieked, started to crawl away from him, still laughing. We crawled around the floor, and he eventually caught me. His hands clutched my sides and started to tickle me. I started to laugh even harder. He continued to tickle me, and I was laughing so hard, that I was at the point where I had no laugh, it was just a like a wheezing sound coming from me. My nose was all crinkled up, and there were tears streaming down my cheeks. Oh, God, no. "Uncle, uncle! Stop!" I was still laughing though, all sprung out on the white carpet floor. He stopped tickling me and laid beside me, laughing his ass off.

"That was literally the cutest thing ever," he said between laughs.

"No, it wasn't. It was embarrassing!"

"Maybe to you, but to me, it was so cute."

After I gained my breath back and wiped the tears away, I said, "We have to go downstairs. It's Christmas."

We both got up, and I shot out the door, still in my white tank top with Team Avatar on it and my Avatar: the Last Airbender PJ bottoms. I looked at the setting in front of me. There was a very tall tree decorated with gold and red ribbons, stars, and decorative balls, topped off with a gold sparkling star. The lights on the tree twinkled as they ran up the tree spiraling around it. The presents were under the tree, wrapped in wrapping paper ranging from red and gold to red, to red and black, to black and white, white, and blue to purple and green, to red and silver, to one with white with different colors. I was curious to see what the wrapping was on it. It was so beautiful. This was the best Christmas ever already. The Avengers, along with Fury, Agent Hill, Clint's family, Pepper, and Jane were sitting around talking, I guess waiting for us.

I ran down the three steps, and I guess my foot slipped on the bottoms of my pants legs because I slammed my face down on the marble floor, laughing again. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, but my face was stinging a little.

"Are you OK?" Bucky asked behind me, laughing.

"Yeah."

He walked over to me and helped me up. I looked around to see the Avengers staring at me with raised eyebrows.

"Are you guys on drugs?" Tony asked.

"No," I laughed again.

"Did you guys fondue?" Steve asked.

Bucky and I continued to laugh; I was laughing so hard that my soundless laugh was back, and I was clutching my stomach because it hurt so much. I collapsed back onto the floor.

"Are you sure you're not on drugs?" Tony questioned again, taking a drink of his Brandy.

"I'm sure."

"Daddy, what's fondue?" Clint's little boy asked, yanking on Clint's shirt.

We all laughed. "I'll explain when you're older," Clint said.

Once Bucky and I regained our self-dignity, we walked over to the bar area and made us a cup of coffee. Well, I made myself a cup of hot English Breakfast black tea, and Bucky made himself a French Vanilla Frappuccino. We joined the others at the couches and sofas, and Bucky and I sat next to each other next to Steve. Jane was sitting next to Thor with Agent Hill next to them on the couch. Fury was standing behind them. Bruce, Nat, Pepper, and Tony were sitting on another couch. Then Clint and his pregnant wife, Laura, and two kids, Lila and Cooper were sitting on another. And Wanda and Pietro completed the circle by sitting on the other couch that was in the circle of couches.

We started exchanging gifts. First up, it was Thor and Jane's gift. Thor retrieved some smaller presents while Jane retrieved the large box that was wrapped in dark blue wrapping paper from out under the tall Christmas tree and handed it to me. I tore the paper away and opened the box to reveal a new Galaxy Edge with a galaxy dream catcher case sitting on top of an Asgardian warrior outfit.

"Guys, it's so beautiful. Thank you," I told Thor and Jane. "And thank you for the new phone. I've always been needing to get a new phone."

"You're very welcome, Lady Raven," Thor said.

Bucky opened his to reveal some Asgardian clothes. "Thank you."

Next, Wanda retrieved her and Pietro's gifts from under the tree. Pietro handed me Bucky and I's gifts. It was a box that was wrapped in silver and red paper. I tore the paper off and opened the box to reveal a dress. The dress was red, long, strapless, and ruffled. "Thanks, you guys," I said to them.

"Very welcome to a very talented and beautiful young woman," Wanda and Pietro said at the same time. I swear twins have telekinetic powers.

Then it was Nat's turn. She retrieved her gifts from out under the tree and handed Bucky and I our gifts. Mine was a medium sized box with black wrapping and red ribbons were tied on two diagonal corners. I opened it to see there were two custom .22 pistols placed so delicately in red tissue paper. I pulled one out. They looked like normal .22 pistols except that they had a black, metal blades coming out from the bottom right under the barrel. There was a string attached to the butt of the pistol. I guess so you could attach it to your belt loop. It was fucking cool!

"...Naaatttt..... These are so friggin cool!" I exclaimed.

A smile cracked onto her face, and I smiled back. Bucky opened his, which was a long rectangular box that was big enough to hold two guns, to reveal a sniper rifle and a Thompson submachine gun. "A sniper rifle and a Tommy gun, nice. Thank you," Bucky said. "I'm always excited to get a new friend."

I chuckled.

Next, Bruce got up to get his gifts. He handed Bucky and I our gifts. I opened mine, a box about the size of two of my iPhones side by side wrapped in green, to reveal five different rings that were inspired by the Nations in Avatar. I studied each of them. The first one was a thick yellow band that swirled around with four orange jewels placed around the band. In the inside of the band, 'Air Nomad' was engraved. I put it back in the ring holder. I picked the next one out. It was two thin golden bands that crossed each other in the back and front with green jewels lined them. There was a big green jewel that surrounded in smaller green jewels, and 'Earth Kingdom' was engraved in the band. The next one was probably one of my favorites. It was bronze that came together in the middle and swirled out at the tip of the two at the top and bottom. In the middle was a big red jewel with two smaller red jewels on the side. There were small yellow jewels on the sides of the band and on the swirls, and 'Fire Nation' was engraved. The next one was silver with a straight, light blue jewel encrusted band going around it. Swirls interlaced each other, and 'Water Tribe' was engraved. The last one was my favorite one besides the Water Tribe and Fire Nation one. The band was silver with two rows of diamonds encrusted it and came to meet a diamond lotus flower in the middle, and 'White Lotus' was engraved. "Bruce, they're so beautiful."

Bucky opened his to reveal some classic music vinyl from the 40s. "Thank you, Bruce."

Then it was Tony and Pepper's turn. Tony grabbed some of the presents, and Pepper grabbed the rest. Pepper handed me a box that kind of heavy that was wrapped in gold and red paper.

"My wrapping is so beautiful. I don't want to tear it," Steve said beside me. I looked over to see his present was wrapped in red, white, and blue stripes with smaller versions of his shield in rows in the stripes. Steve tried so carefully not to tear the paper as he unwrapped it. Everyone chuckled.

I unwrapped mine to reveal an Apple laptop in a cover that was in a galaxy cover. On top of the laptop was a folded piece of paper that had my name written on top. I opened it and read it. It read: 'I thought the computer would be perfect for you to write your stories on it. It would make it easier. It also has Photoshop on it so you can make your own covers for your stories. And Pepper has made an appointment with a major book editor for you, so you can finally publish your stories. Just call the number below or email the email address so you can set up a date to be interviewed and talk about your contract. -Tony'

"Tooonnnnnyyyy, Pepppeeerrrr, you guys." I got up and walked towards them, tears streaming down my cheeks. "You guys are the best," I said as Tony, Pepper, and I did a group hug. "God, look what you did. I'm crying right now."

"Well, you wanted to become a novelist, so there you go. It was my idea for the laptop, and then it was Pepper's idea for setting up the appointment."

"Setting up the appointment for what?" Steve asked.

"To talk to a major book editor and get my stories published," I said, excitedly.

"Nice job, Tony. That has to be the best present ever," Steve said.

I returned to my seat, and Lila and Cooper carried a box over to me. It was wrapped in white paper with colorful drawings of the Avengers. It was the cutest thing ever. There was a drawing of me waterbending next to Bucky who was holding out his fist. Bucky was shooting a gun, and Steve had his shield. Tony was in his suit flying around. Thor had his hammer in the air; Wanda was using her magic. Pietro was running, and Clint was shooting his bow while Nat was shooting her pistol. Bruce was hulking out, throwing a bad guy on the ground.

"And that has to be the best wrapping paper ever," Steve said, looking over at the wrapping paper. I carefully unwrapped the present, very very carefully so that I didn't rip it, to reveal a custom bow with a Princess Yue cosplay outfit and some drawings of me with the Avengers and then some more drawings of me as a waterbender, from the kids.

I sat the box down on the coffee table and looked over at the kids with a huge smile on my face. "Come here, you guys."

They ran to me, and I wrapped them in a bear hug. "These drawings are amazing, and how did you know that Yue was my favorite character?"

"We wust wew," Lila replied. She is literally so cute, both of them are. They returned to their seat beside Clint.

"Thank you," I said to Clint and his wife.

Next was Maria and Fury's gift. Maria picked a box up that wrapped in black and white wrapping paper. I opened it and pulled out some Supernatural merch. There was a hoodie that says 'My fandom with salt and burn your fandom' and some Supernatural necklaces.

"Thanks."

And now it was for Steve's and Bucky's presents. I pulled out Steve's present from under the tree, a big square box wrapped in red and blue wrapping paper that contained his new suit. I pulled the small box that contained Bucky's present out of the pocket of my Avatar PJ bottoms. I held it out to him. He unwrapped it and opened the box, taking out the silver dog tag. On the dog tag, our names were engraved on one side, and on the other side, 'I'll always be with you in your heart' was engraved. I pulled my copy of the dog tag out from under my shirt to show him that'd he'd alway be with me, too.

"Raven, thank you," he said then kissed me. I clasped the dog tag around his neck, and it fell right between his pecs. I didn't know what size of a chain to get, so I got a long chain.

Steve got up and retrieved the last present from under the tree, which was a small box wrapped in red, white, and blue striped paper. I opened it to find two tickets to Athens for spring break.

"Oh, my God, Steve! Thank you so much. I've always wanted to go to Athens!" I hugged him. He hugged me back.

Bucky stood up. "Raven, climb onto my back and close your eyes," Bucky said. I climbed onto his back and closed my eyes, still holding onto the key. I wrapped my legs around his waist. I wrapped my hands around his chest. He gripped underneath my thighs. I felt him turn his head to see if I weren't looking. I could feel him walking by the way his thighs moved up and down. It felt like my insides were moving up my body, so I guess we were in the elevator. He turned his head again to make sure I still had my eyes closed, which they were. I heard the elevator ding and heard doors open, and he continued to walk. He stopped, and I heard Steve talk.

"Raven, I'm going to set you on your feet," Steve said. "I need you to let go of Bucky."

I did as he said once I felt hands gripping my sides, and he sat me on my feet.

Bucky was now behind me because I could sense where he was when he spoke. "Open your eyes," he whispered against my neck.

I opened my eye and was consumed in happiness and excitement. It was a 1986 Yamaha Virago, just like Bucky's, but with a different paint job. It was all red.

"Buuucckkkyyyy....." I turned around to hugged Bucky, wrapping my legs around his waist. I kissed him. "Thank you, but you didn't have to give me a motorcycle."

He kissed me back. "Well, you said you've wanted one since you fell in love with motorcycles."

I unwrapped myself from him, and he pulled out a silver box. I opened it to reveal an antique locket. It was a heart-shaped silver locket.

"Open it up," he said, smiling.

I opened the locket to reveal two separate portrait pictures of us. The picture of me was from when we went our first date, and the picture of him was an old picture of him from the war. He was in his uniform. Both of the pictures were printed in sepia, to give it the vintage look. I closed it and wrapped arms around him. "Bucky! It's beautiful. I love you so much!" I kissed him, and he kissed me back, our tongues intertwining.

"Steve, look away. You're still a virgin," Tony said.

We pulled away, both Bucky and I laughing.

"Ha ha, very funny," Steve faked laughed.

"Come on, you two lovebirds," Clint said. "You two need to get ready because we're going ice skating."

I almost squealed as I jumped in excitement.

Bucky stood in front of me. "Hop on my back."

I did as he said and jumped up onto his back, wrapping my legs around his waist, and he wrapped his hands around my thighs.

"Let's see if we can beat them," he whispered in my ear.

Clint, Laura, their kids, and Steve got into the elevator, and Bucky took off down the stairwell. I laughed as he carried me down the stairs on his back. We beat them by a few seconds. I got off his back, and we watched as they got out of the elevator.

"We beat you," I said.

"Is that so?" Steve asked. He started to creep up on me with a mischievous smile. I tried to get away from him, but Bucky was standing right behind me, preventing me from doing so. Steve grabbed me and slung me over his shoulders, spinning me around.

I started to squeal. "Put me down!"

He continued to spin me around on his shoulders then sat me down on my feet. The world was spinning, so I held onto Bucky's metal arm until the world stopped spinning. He wrapped his arm around my waist. "Come on, love. We need to get ready."

We walked to our room, and Bucky grabbed his clothes and walked to the bathroom. I walked to the dresser and searched my clothes. I pulled on a pair of long John pants then my jeans, then I slipped on a thick turtleneck. I slipped on my boots and grabbed my brush. I brushed my hair out, then started to put my makeup on using the reflection of my new phone as a mirror. I glanced at Bucky, still putting my makeup on, as he stepped out of the bathroom. He was sporting a pair of jeans, combat boots, and black long sleeved with a jacket and coat over it.

Once I was done with my makeup, I put it up and slipped on my beanie, scarf, and fingerless gloves. I wasn't going to wear a coat because I get hot really easily, and I hate coats because it's hard to move my arms in them. Plus, I can withstand the cold to an extent.

"Aren't you going to wear a coat?" He asked me.

"No. I get hot easily, and I hate coats because I can't move in them a lot. Plus, I can withstand the cold to an extent."

He nodded, and we walked out to the living room. Nat, Clint, Laura, Cooper, Lila, and Steve was talking, waiting for the rest of us in the living room. Thor, Jane, Tony, and Pepper joined us. Wanda, Bruce, and Pietro joined us a few moments later.

"Come on. We need to get our skates," Tony said. We all walked down to the elevator. Clint, his wife and kids, Pepper, and Tony got in. The rest of us waited for the elevator to come back, and we eventually got down to the level that Jarvis took us to. We walked over to Tony and Pepper. We got our skates and left the tower. Bucky, Steve, and I piled into the Mustang, Tony, Pepper, Nat, Thor, and Bruce piled into Tony's Camaro, and Clint, Laura, and their kids got into the Jeep Sahara. Agent Maria and Director Fury told us that they would be remaining at the tower because they had S.H.I.E.L.D. matters to attend to.

We drove down the street towards the ice ring, my hand in Bucky's. We eventually arrived, and we got out. There wasn't a lot of people at the rink. We walked over to the benches outside the ring and put our skates on. I was starting to tie mine when Bucky knelt down in front of me and finished tying my skates.

"You're such the gentleman," I chuckled.

He smiled, his smile warming my heart. "Anything for milady." He got up and held his arm out to me. I got up, stumbling a little, before linking arms with him. I still stumbled some but would steady myself with Bucky's arm. Bucky wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me along as we caught up with Steve. Wanda and Clint were skating with Lila and Cooper; Cooper was holding onto Clint's hand, and Lila was holding onto Wanda's hand. Pietro was skating beside them. Laura couldn't skate since she was expecting another little one, so she just sat on the side and watched. Thor tried to skate but eventually gave up and went over to talk to Laura. Bruce and Nat were skating, arms linked together, alongside with Tony and Pepper. Jane joined my side, since Thor gave up on skating.

"Hey," Jane said.

"Hi," I said back.

"You guys are so cute together," she said.

I smiled at her, blushing.

"The way he looks at you, he loves you more than you can imagine."

"I know. And I love him more than anything. I wouldn't give the world up for him."

"You guys are meant for each other. Thor told me that Heimdall had seen your future with him, and it's very bright."

I smiled.

Bucky started to twirl me around, and I started to yelp. "Bucky! Stop!" I started to laugh.

He continued to spin me around, then my knees started to buckle. Bucky caught me, and I continued to laugh.

"You alright?" He asked me.

I nodded, breathless from laughing.

He sat me on my feet, and we continued our way around the rink. We skated for about an hour and a half before the rest of the Avengers and I were starting to get too cold. Bucky would twirl me around. We all left the ice skating rink, slipped our shoes on, then walked to our cars. I slipped on my boots, and Bucky and I got into his car once he had slipped his boots back on. He turned the heat on, and the blast of warm air started to warm me up. I was still cold, though. I rubbed my arms, trying to warm them up with friction.

"Here, take my jacket." He took his coat off then his jacket and handed the jacket to me. I slipped it on, and the warmth of it started to warm me up instantly.

We drove off. The radio was on. The Little Drummer Boy was playing. "Ermahgerd. This is my favorite Christmas song," I said then started to sing along.

Then the radio was cut off by Tony's voice.

"We're going to stop at the coffee shop near here," Tony said.

"Okay," Bucky said back.

"Tony, you cut off my jam. I'm gonna kill ya. You ruined my vibe," I said to him.

Steve chuckled.

"I'll like to see that actually," Bucky said.

"I'm sorry... Not really."

I groaned, and Bucky and Steve just chuckled again.

We arrived at the coffee shop, and we all got out of our cars and walked into the coffee shop.

"I'll get our coffees," Bucky told Steve and I.

Steve and I both nodded and then took a seat on the sofas in the corner. I pulled out my phone. "Hey, Steve, look." He looked, and I snapped a selfie of us. I giggled, and he just looked dumbfounded for a moment. "It's called a selfie," I laughed.

"Oh... I wasn't raised in modern technology, remember?"

"Yeah. I'd say you weren't for an old guy."

He raised his eyebrow, and I just laughed.

Bucky returned with our coffees, well with his and Steve's coffee; he got me an English Breakfast black tea. He knows me so well. He handed me my tea and then handed Steve his coffee, then he sat down beside me on the couch. I sipped my tea.

"Hey, Raven," Bucky said. I looked over at him, only to have him smear a dollop of whip cream on the tip of my nose.

I groaned. "Bucky!"

He laughed, and so did Steve. Then I heard a voice behind me. "Racky is so adorable. #Relationship Goals." I knew automatically that it was Tony.

"Tony, what even?" Bucky raised his eyebrow.

I wiped the whipped cream off my nose. My phone started to vibrate, and I pulled it out. It was a Google Hangout message from Mrs. McAdams. It read:

Hey, Raven. How's your break going?

I typed back:

It's going great. I want you to meet Bucky so badly. Hey, maybe you can meet him today, and I can meet Mark.

She typed back:

Sure. It's just Mark and I.

I nearly squealed. "Hey, guys, you get to meet my one friend that stuck with me through thick and thin."

"When?" Bucky asked.

"Today. I was thinking we could have a mini- Christmas party."

"Sure," Tony said.

"Yay!" I texted Ms. McAdams:

Hey, come over to the Avengers Tower.

She texted back:

Okay. 😁

We finished our tea/ coffees, and then we all got into cars and drove back to the Tower. Ms. McAdams wasn't there when we got there, so we all walked into the tower.

"Who wants to watch a movie?" Wanda asked, pulling out some movies from the shelves of movies that Tony had.

"I do!" I screeched/ laughed. I skipped to the couch and dived onto it.

Wanda put in a random movie. Steve and Tony came out with bowls of popcorn.

"Anyone want a drink?" Tony asked.

"I'll take a Corona," Bucky said, raising his hand.

"I'll take a Bud Light," Nat said.

"Second that," Steve said.

Bucky tried to sit down on the couch, but I sprawled out so he couldn't. "Raven, get up."

"No. You smeared whip cream on my nose. You don't deserve to sit next to the queen of winter." He continued to stand there and stare at me. "Uncle Tony, Bucky won't leave me alone."

"Not my problem."

"Some uncle you are."

"Raven..." Bucky pouted. "I'm called the Winter Soldier. Who are you to call yourself the Queen of Winter?" Then he got on top of me, straddling me, and started to tickle me.

"Bucky! Stop!" He continued to tickle me, and my laugh turned into the embarrassing, wheezing laugh. He eventually stopped after it was starting to get hard to breathe. I sat up, and he sat down. I laid my head down on his lap.

"But you are my queen." He kissed me, and I kissed back. Wanda started the movie, and the movie turned out to be Jingle All the Way.

Tony brought them their beers. Bucky opened his beer and took a swig of it.

"Let me have a sip," I said.

He handed me his beer, and I took a sip of it.

My phone started to vibrate. It was Ms. McAdams. It read:

I'm here.

I walked out of the tower. Ms. McAdams's car was sitting outside on the curb. I walked up to her car, and she and Mark got out. Mark had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He was a little bit taller than him and was muscular.

"This is Mark," Ms. McAdams introduced him. "Mark, this is Raven."

I shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."

He nodded, and we all walked to the tower. We joined the Avengers in the living room. I introduced them, and we ended up watching the movie. Emma, since we were on first name basis now, and Mark left after saying bye. By the end of the movie, I was half asleep.

Bucky got up and picked me up, bridal style. He carried me to my room, and we eventually fell asleep.

#bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes #marvel #writers on tumblr #fanfiction

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lassroyale · 6 years ago

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wrist mala prayer beads shop

mala bracelet wood Recently i saw a Buddhist prayer band from Tibet, in addition to it possessed a group of skulls on this. I just wanted to know typically the meanings in the skulls and what kind of prayer is being done using this pendant. The mala in question (the "mala bead") is a popular concept in Buddhism. In which a lot more impermanent. A mind once housed a dwelling human and is particularly now only a skull. We all far too are impermanent, and this will be a reminder not to be able to end up being too focused with material issues, but also more, it is some sort of memento to focus more on doing each of our Buddhist practices. Types of Cranium Mala Beads There usually are several types of skull malas. There are malas created of yak bone, material, wood or other materials with each bead cut in the form of a human skull. Could type of mala is not utilized by Buddhists with Tibet, it may be somewhat famous amongst Developed practitioners in order to remind them selves of the actual impermanence of lifestyle. One more type of mala is definitely made from the actual your bones of Buddhist enthusiasts frequently from small hard disks reduce from their skulls immediately after death. These practitioners give their bones as a final altruistic offering. There are several web sites which will provide malas created from these Buddhist practitioners, plus its assumed their bones are imbued with the auspicious outcomes of their life-long practice. Should you be thinking of getting some sort of mala created using the beans carved as skulls, the idea would be best to have one made of some sort of material apart from bone. Because Polly Turner recommends, �It is often well-advised that malas of bone fragments - whether human as well as dog bone - should just be used by accomplished yogins, since ritual objects designed connected with bone are assumed to harbor karmic has a bearing on. � The significance of Equivocada Beads Band mala prayer beads bracelet First involving all, there is practically nothing like Equivoca Beads Band, beads mala (or garland) is a very classic thing and people have started off wearing it while a bracelet to provide several fashion statement or type. A Mala Bracelet has 27 beads plus the "guru" bead traditionally applied for introspection and prayer, are the freshest craze in wearable meditation, together with designers making erronea Bracelets that combine gems imbued with potent systems and also sacred meaning to help infusion your practice. A new Japa Mala Serves 2 Uses 1. helps to maintain a count of often the number of times typically the mantra is chanted a couple of. when you close your own personal eyes and try to help concentrate on typically the rule, the perception of the bead on your fingers helps you focus these are often the main reasons behind using japa mala. A number of believe this the material of the particular mala-wood, gemstone, crystal, seed starting, and so forth has some implicit energy connected with it that will also plays a role in the emphasis or results obtained simply by chanting. Can Malas End up being Worn as Necklaces? My partner and i was wondering if that seemed to be disrespectful to utilize skull guttae in jewellery. I mean, The particular beans I wanna utilize are generally traditionally used because erronea prayer beads. I would like to use one bone wooden skull bead on any chain for a band, but I wanted further insight into the subject. Prayer beads are used by means of members of various religious customs such as Aventure Catholicism, Orthodox Christianity, Anglicanism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, and Bah�'� Faith for you to count typically the repetitions associated with prayers, songs or devotions, such as the rosary of Virgin Mary within Christianity and dhikr (remembrance of God) in Islam. They may also be used for relaxation, safeguard from negative energy, or perhaps for relaxation. Typically the mala is used to be able to count mantra repetitions throughout a sadhana practice. A person shouldn't do a sadhana practice without three items: empowerment, reading transmission, as well as explanation. Sometimes this rule is relaxed, but it can necessary to get authorization. If you would like use a equivocada for some some other purpose, that's fine, and it is tantric sadhanas that have the actual restriction, not malas. And it's okay to do deep breathing practices such as meditating on the inhale or maybe loving-kindness, even without trainer or instruction. In respect of your bone mala, I actually no longer want to appear scary or even alarmist, yet a bone mala can easily cause particular difficulties if it was not properly created or is not used effectively. So anyone should ask a trainer for permission and help in selecting a calcaneus mala. That is certainly disrespectful. Types of Mantra Desires The particular mantra is not praying, but are a concrete means of dwelling on meaning, or a truth. For illustration, "Om Mani Padme Hung" means that the body-speech-mind of Buddha is located by compassion and intelligence (Padme is the lotus, which includes it's rooted in the particular soil at the bottom level of the pond, and also grows up into the light along with opens in order to a beautiful great smelling flower, it represents wisdom). So, as you say any mantra, you are putting attention on what it takes. There is definitely no prayer; there is actually no obtain to a new higher power. What Will be the Useful Sanskrit Rule? The most efficient Sanskrit mantra is the most straightforward one- Aum was the very first lesson Mahadev imparted. If Mahadev took typically the form of Anaal stambh (the pillar regarding fire), and when Lord Bramhan and Lord Vishnu wouldn't find the beginning involving the end from it, soon after that they both conceded to Mahadev, sat Your pet down and it started to be the morning of Consecration involving Mahadev and is celebrated as Shivratri. Mahadev on that moment spoke to help both Lord Bramha along with Lord Vishnu on important matters, plus the first issue was the mantra Aum (Shiv Mahapuran). Aum is actually the path to genuine consciousness. Mandukya Upanishad voisinage 6 and Chandyog Upanishad section 8 describe our 'self' as the fourth state involving turiya. Mind being in some claims wakefulness, dream sleeping, serious sleep without desires, as well as the fourth beyond heavy sleep, but when the mind recognizes, conscious. This specific fourth point out is explained similar to samadhi along with allows one to be in touch with their atma or even in which self which is actually part of The almighty. With Mandukya Upanishad, Aum is actually the mantra to always be in hitting the ground with that latest state. Within the earlier portion of meditation, one particular obvious the word Aum and heard his / your girlfriend sound. In advanced yoga, one begins hearing the sound Aum by themselves and quickly gets to the particular meditation state. Aum is definitely the sound created by simply everything rotating on the axis. A meditative thoughts is in sync with that and in the total soothing state, hearing the particular planet's sound and resting from it. Very just and nicely described by Why when do we hear Using all this, and the particular fact most mantras usually are pronounced starting with Aum, Aum is the most potent Sanskrit mantra.

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cartoonistiranus · 7 years ago

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New Post has been published on http://kavehadel.com/blog/2017/12/the-last-jedi-dichotomy/

The Last Jedi Dichotomy

A week ago I watched the much anticipated premier of Star Wars “The Last Jedi” in theaters with my twelve year old son and brother-in-law–three generations watching a saga that spans 4 decades, each with his own ideas, take away and preconceived notions.

I can not speak for them yet as an ardent fan who grew up with the original films during the revolution and war-stricken country of Iran during the late 70’s and early 80’s I was torn when I walked out of the theater.

The 10 year old in me who got his hands on an old Time magazine (illegally brought to Iran) and cherished the full color photos or Luke Skywalker wielding his lightsaber on Jabba’s barge, X wings taking on the Death Star and the ultimate face off with Vader with the Emperor watching, gleefully reveling the conflict. That boy marveled at the mythology and the mystique where good and evil were more defined….. following a Joseph Campbellian hero’s journey. He saw a different film than the forty-something me.

If you have not seen the film then I advise that you do not read on as I reveal some details about the film that may spoil the mystery.

The ten year old in the body of the-forty-something-me, the boy-me’s take:

The boy-me was familiar with the defined premises of the previous films where evil was front and center. The dark lord is master and the apprentice follows his teachings and does not deviate. The formula was set in the original films, prequels, Rogue One and Force Awakens. Snoke was defined as the ultimate rise in evil. He begged to be further defined, at least where he come from— putting to rest the speculations and theories from the time following the Return of the Jedi. He was disposed of despite showing his incredible power far exceeding Palpatine leaving the boy-me wondering what was the purpose of him anyways?

The boy-me was forced to ask, Is today’s audience so impatient that character development is a waste of their time? Is this a millennial-trait jetting by the boy-me from the 80’s who loved the mystery wrapped in an enigma?

The lightsaber battles during the “red room”scene left the boy-me in awe and rekindled the fire that drove the ultimate battle between good and evil…. yet with a twist. A moment of redemption for the film…. just a moment and after that it went downhill for the ten year old me.

First, Leia was blown into space yet she managed to display a power (a use of force) that defied physics and biology. Even for a fantasy space saga film it was a stretch. The boy-me lost all credibility from that point on. He just could not get past that. Deification of Leia was a nice move as an homage to Carrie Fisher but what did it add to the storyline? It was a display of the force by Leia, I get that. Maybe we will find out in the last film…. but how, especially without Carrie?

Secondly, Luke, the quintessential hero was found moping and complaining on the island just like he did as a young man on the moisture farm on Tatooine. Did his journey make him circle back, ironically, this time to being a bitter, frustrated old man waiting to die in seclusion? Following a hero’s journey, it seemed regressive where Johnson, reduced him to an ashamed, pathetic man who blamed himself for the problems in the universe…. running away, avoiding the challenge. This was antithetical to the Luke who faced the Emperor. A possible explanation is that when we get old we lose that fire. He does redeem himself after a light (out of character) exchange with Yoda and then returns via an astral projection to take on Kylo and his more robust, jacked-up, AT-AT’s on a red Salt Hoth-like planet in Matrix-esque fashion. An uneven handling of a hero at best. Johnson wanted to tear him down and then build him up but it was hurried and felt like a kid playing yo-yo with Luke. Frankly, Luke deserved a better arc from my boy-me’s point of view. I faced some of the most difficult times in my life and I drew strength from Luke who made mistakes, redeemed himself yet did not spiral down in self-pity. Perhaps Luke would have learned that after so many years but no, Johnson felt that his vision of Luke was a different one. After all, it was his project and he did have full creative control.

The tangential story line following the adventure of Finn and Rose served no strategic purpose beyond bringing attention to the control of the first order (Empire) and the rebels in the hands of Arms dealers. It also was a seedling of a half-baked romance—again, hurried and heavy-handed—a far cry from the tension felt in the original films between Luke, Leia and Han Solo. It was a break from the intense interplay between Rey and Kylo Ren, more worthy of exploring, that paved the way for many more spin-off stories for future films.

It seemed that Johnson was trying to keep everyone happy: Disney, Young fans, old fans and of course his own vision. In that, he could not keep everyone happy–nor did he want to.

The forty-something-me’s take:

In my constant strive to be open-minded and creative, as a cartoonist and an author, I look at symbols and icons that are solid and accepted pillars in literature and popular culture and find ways to either enhance or deconstruct them. It is fun to create a new myth from the rubble of a previously constructed idol.

Following this premise, I loved many elements in The Last Jedi ranging from handling the hero/heroine, infallibility of legends, interweave of politics and human rights, gender roles, the grey areas between good and evil, the frailty and triumph of humanity in face of failure and questioning necessity of redemption.

I know that there is so much to unpack yet it is worth noting that these are my opinions that stem from years of study (mythology, psychology) and life experience (living in a theocratic society, emigrating) and they vary from someone from a different background and time.

I have to give Rian Johnson credit for deconstructing the hero’s journey shortening the cycle for Rey while weaving Luke’s own journey of rediscovery simultaneously. Rey takes the reign after discovering that Luke is not master she had hoped for, initially, leaving her no choice but to dive into the cave by her choice. A departure from the role of master and apprentice, when she has to emotionally jolt Luke to wake up from his self-imposed guilt and be useful again. It is difficult to pull that off while injecting contemporary humor. He did well bringing a blast from the past with Yoda.

Speaking of Yoda and legends. I found setting the books and teachings of the Jedi ablaze absolutely refreshing. I love tearing idols down and bluntly emphasizing that the old ideas/religions do not serve the masses anymore. They need to be reduced to ashes so a new path is created. And, it can not be created from a book, or a master’s experience. It is created in the process. Here, Johnson eviscerates the Jedi and Sith constructs (literally splitting Snoke and then the lightsaber in half).

The final scene literally takes the broom to the most iconic weapon of Star Wars.

I was figuratively split on this idea. Disliked and liked it at the same time, cognitive dissonance-stricken.

Digging deeper, the emphasis on failure as a lesson toward usefulness is very encouraging. Luke, the master, is depicted hitting rock bottom in a deluge of shame and guilt while he receives a literal knock to the noggin to get that point whereas Rey and the younger generation thrive on that life hack—essentially shortening the learning curve. In today’s world where production and perfection is expected for success it serves as a reminder that humanity and ingenuity are born from failure and imperfection with a healthy serving of persistence, Rey is the champion of that virtue.

I thoroughly enjoyed the political and human rights undertones in Finn and Rose’s mini adventure at the casino where they tear apart the underbelly of greedy arms dealers feeding both political powers in the universe exposing the hypocrisy of seemingly righteous while children and “work horses” are exploited for profit. And we wonder why the downtrodden and disgruntled rise, resist and revolt in our world. If that was Johnson’s point, it was very well made. It did not bode well with some who politically in the current climate did not accept the premise.

I found Rose’s insights on the light speed tracking particularly important. It was finally a female technician (seemingly low on the totem pole) who puts the pieces of the puzzle together while Finn seems to overshadow her yet she pops up again to assert herself! Also, admiral Holdo sacrificing herself to save a few remaining rebels and Leia, showing that leadership, restraint, courage and selflessness are not exclusively male badges. Both wins for gender equity and rights.

Johnson navigates good and evil in the red zone where it is not light or dark, black or white. There is color there and it’s bright, where it is—dare I say—actually tolerable to possess both and grapple with that dichotomy. One can not always be an ascetic Jedi monk and expect to survive and navigate the world just as one can not expect to be a genocidal Sith dictator while carrying on life as usual without facing resistance. Rey and Kylo Ren’s relationship exploring this theme is palpable throughout the film and beautifully illustrates this. The older me wished there was more of that and less side stories like Poe Dameron’s gun slinging killing so many rebels so he could just take down a dreadnought.

Finally, despite the boy-me’s strong dislike of the way Luke’s arc was handled, the 40-something-me loved the redemption and the send off Luke delivered, especially the moment between brother and sister. Johnson handled that beautifully enough that I was willing to overlook the astral projection fight scene with Kylo, shoulder brush, smirk and the “kid” comment culminating to the final Lotus-position fade away.

So, can the traditionalist boy-me and the progressive older-me reconcile this dichotomy? I admit that I felt, as a good friend of mine said, ��left my land cruiser on the seat when I left the theater.” As harsh as it may sound, the ten-year-old me partially died in the theater yet the forty-something-me was excited by the themes and ideas that resonate with the world today. I would characterize the film as an Anti Myth and it served its purpose very very well.

I suppose it is time to embrace the wonder of a new legend that idols are fallible and just about any idea can be challenged, deconstructed, toppled, recreated and mythified to the time we live in where being in the red is preferred over siding with the light or the dark.

Peace and may the Force be with you all,

Kaveh Adel

#Kaveh Adel

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